#plus a lot of that stuff will relate to at least one system member

[d33pwaterabyss]

I'll/We'll probably infodump about stuff on the main blog them reblog here methinks

~leon

[madame-mimsy]

Theory Behind the Reward Tier Levels in Janus’ Corridor.

Has someone done this, already? Probably. But nothing says mental exhaustion like procrastinating on schoolwork by over analyzing the levels of tiers in Janus’ Corridor of Stored Rewards.

So with the release of the amazing art by James von Hollen (@ignoreitforever on Instagram) of each of the tiers (and the honestly delightfully terrifying images of Janus ripping through a wall like the Shining), I’ve had some thoughts on what the levels mean in relation to them because I am a Fander and we cannot leave well enough alone gdi.

See, at first I liked the idea going around that Janus was just giving tiers based on people he liked, as he’s stated that he prefers Remus over the others in livestreams. But the thing is, he obviously does NOT like Virgil, so that doesn’t quite fit to me. And the idea that it’s just giving preferential treatment to the Dark Sides made sense to me, until the new images came out and we had padlocks galore.

Instead, my theory is that each tier is based on how deep into the secrets he’s promised in his Corridor you go. The further along the more he WANTS to keep them secret, and thus the more money it takes, meta-wise, to pry those secrets loose, and why there is no Janus level tier. There’s no way he’d want to reveal everything he knows, no matter the amount. He (Janus) even got downright angry when people tried bugging him for spoilers in streams.

So instead he has the tiers listed by how willing he is to make that Side “public” or not. (Longwinded theory under the cut)

So first we have the Logan tier: the Federal Education Budget 

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“Ohhh, so you decided to share with us? Then, I suppose I can share with you.”

Honestly, this startled me because of the fact that it looks so arcane and mystical, which doesn’t match how I imagine Logan at all. My friend @onnastik​ pointed out that the creature on the right, surrounded by sigils, is the demon Baur, who among other things is said to “teach natural and moral philosophy, (and) logic...” which fits the bill pretty perfectly. 

Speaking of a bill, the name for the tier fits Logan perfectly, too, to me. The Federal Education Budget is not only the budget used in the American system to make sure kids have free education until the highschool level, but is also part of the college loan system. It signifies public education, and that’s why I feel that Logan is the lowest, and thus most accessible, tier. Janus considers him bland, safe for public consumption, and maybe even wants to put up a front of logical intelligence first and foremost, to make even the broadest view of Thomas seem as intelligent as possible. 

And look at how much the basic tier gives! That’s a huge amount for just the lowest tier, and gives you plenty to enjoy. That fits the ideal of something like a broad education system, and gives a very open feel. Logan’s tier is literally an “Open Book” of all sorts of delights.

And with that horrible pun, we move to Patton’s tier:  The Monthly Allowance.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“That not enough for you? Fine. I'll give you everything from that last tier, PLUS...”

For all that it is creepy as heck, the fact that Patton’s tier is also a pun is perfect. The candles heat must surely make this... heartwarming. And the addition of blooper reels in the rewards, and the commentary, feel more personal than Logan’s open tier. Which is why I don’t think Patton was the first tier.

Patton wears his heart on his sleeve too much for Janus’ tastes, I bet. All of those emotions just out there where anyone could see? Those bloopers that showcase how imperfect Thomas and the crew are? Yikes. That is definitely something a certain snek wouldn’t want to be the most public option, though, at the same time, Patton’s gentle qualities and general love of the fandom also mean he’s a good symbol to push closer to the front of the Corridor, and doesn’t need to be as hidden as some of the others.

Also the fact that Patton’s tier has a sticker as a reward is absolutely perfect and you can’t tell me otherwise. Can’t you just imagine him going “Thank you so much, kiddo! Let’s watch some bloopers and play with sticker books! I’ll get the cocoa”? He’s the good goofy dad and stickers are fun. Bloopers and being silly are fun. It’s perfect for the sweet lad.

Then we have the illustrious Roman’s tier: A Prince’s Ransom.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“You want more? Really?? … You can only half tell, but I’m blushing over the fact that we’re worth this much to you. How about, everything in that last tier AND...”

Hooo boi there’s suddenly a lot more to unpack here. This is in no way an insult to the lovely Crew as a whole, but doesn’t it feel like this tier has more bribery going on than the last two? More self-centered reasons to join? It’s not just your name in the credits like Patton offered: it’s your name as a writer. That T-shirt (which I 100% leaped at when I saw this because holy heck it’s so pretty), and of course the mysterious Writer’s Room.

This tier feels very creative as well: look at all the stuff about influencing the show, the art of the shirt, etc. This is all about being showy and creative like our wonderful prince. But it’s not the first tier, even though Thomas is very much a creator. Why? Why is the tier for the showiest, flashiest Side just randomly tucked in the middle, not even the highest for show?

Because Janus doesn’t want Roman to be the first thing everyone sees. Our sweet boy is definitely eye-catching, but he can also be vain to the point of pompous, even annoying. And his fragile ego isn’t something that Janus likely wants to show off. Janus’ statement about “blushing” and “being worth that much to you” even feels like it matches that pride and ego. 

And that fragility is in the crown’s design, too. At first glance it seems fine. Very fantastic, with Roman’s sun symbol in lovely display. But a longer look reveals cracks, broken sections and fissures. And a slight, odd green shine, too. Hmm.

No, Roman couldn’t be made the first tier because of his pride, but his is also the last tier to not have any outright locks on it...

The Strange Dark Son’s tier: OK, Now You’re Making Me Feel Guilty...

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“PLEASE, don’t give us any more money! I don’t know what we could possibly do with it! But alright… since I like you, you can have everything in the last tier, and I'LL THROW IN...”

“Now you’re making me feel guilty” is absolutely what I would expect Virgil to think about someone giving him money because they enjoyed Thomas’ content. He’d freak out, and want to make sure to do something equally nice in return, to say thank you. Hence the thank-you video. 

NGL I can also imagine him panicking and rushing around his room to pick up a random mug and just thrust it out at the gifter in return too, before hiding away in an anxious mess, but anyway. xD

The artwork for this seems to very much be in homage to the Annabelle Doll: a supposedly haunted ragdoll, kept locked in a case at an occult museum.

Something interesting about this doll’s story, though...

Wiki: “According to the Warrens, a student nurse was given the doll in 1970. They said that the doll behaved strangely, and that a psychic medium told the student that the doll was inhabited by the spirit of a deceased girl named "Annabelle". The student and her roommate tried to accept and nurture the spirit-possessed doll, but the doll reportedly exhibited malicious and frightening behavior.”

Huh. Who else do we know that when confronted with too much coddling responds by lashing out?

And this is the first tier with a lock. The glass is chipped (from inside or out?) but the lock is holding. The doll is inert and doesn’t seem likely to do anything unless disturbed, if it matches the original story. Which seems to fit Virgil relatively well. Sure, he’ll make you anxious (maybe those cracks are where the influence leeches free), but doesn’t seem intent on outright harm. Also the cracks and the creepy living doll cabinet as a whole made me think of spider webs and our boi’s Halloween decor, so I thought that was excellent, honestly.

This tier is hidden behind Roman’s shining pomp. It’s outright locked away, as if to keep it from seeing the light of day. The Dark Side tiers both seem this way: hidden from prying eyes by the splendor of the first few tiers.

And the most hidden one of all... Gross Profit.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“Oh you bougie rascal, you! Your generosity is seen and I truly thank you for it… but a few kind words from me aren't enough, I'm sure... so how about, you get everything from the last tier ALONG WITH...”

Firstly we have exclusive tier level gifts that Janus won’t even reveal. Meta-wise, this is likely more because the team has to decide what those gifts ARE, and how to safely ship them, but the way it sounds in the description not only feels super secretive, but also very much like Remus to me, as well. I’m pretty sure any and all gifts from him are a surprise in some way. Whether that is pleasant is debatable, but it’s still a surprise!

The highest tier also looks to have the highest security. Look at that sturdy, metal bound chest and huge padlock. Not only that but it also has chains wrapped around it to hold it shut, and even then, the contents are actively seeking to escape, like our delightful trashman would. Even the shuggoth-like appearance matches his presence as a shifting, terrifying and likely quite gloopy entity, capable of squeezing even where he’s not wanted.  Even the green fabric below looks stained with mud or blood or something equally as upsetting. The image does a great job of showing how hard it is to contain Intrusive Thoughts, as a whole, and is likely a main reason Janus drinks so much “juice” on his birthdays. 

Unlike the last image, this one is outright trying to break containment, and oddly, it almost seems like someone left a golden key in easy reach for just that purpose... A key which also looks rather oddly shaped, to me.

It’s hard to tell from the angle, but it doesn’t look like the eye is a simple circle, but that it has a point, like a heart almost. Or even the ornate letter D from the Corridor logo?

I can’t be sure of that, but what I can definitely be sure of is the sheer amount of lock, key, and chain symbolism our Snekky Fren has to his name.

While Janus has no tier, the entire SITE has his symbol, like a brand. 

Every post, the icon, the about page, it’s there. And the snake isn’t trapped by the lock, but guarding it. It looks to have a green highlight around where a chip is (hmm), but other than that, it looks quite solid, and well-guarded by watchful creatures that never blink.

The shape of the lock looks like it could be heart-shaped as well, like that golden key allowing the Remus tentacles to wriggle free.

They also do a heckin blep and honestly what could possibly be better? 

So yeah, that’s my way overly long ramble about the tier levels and what I think they mean. Maybe if I’m not too lazy I’ll do one on the pictures of Janus playing peekaboo with my nightmares on the about page. 

God but this art is amazing and y’all need to go preesh the artist holy heck. 

[ghost-wonder]

Why Oliver March is My Current Top Suspect for the Leader (Even though I love him)

Buckle your seatbelts kids and get ready for my hot mess of a PH theory. I wasn’t sure where to put this and I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I’m in the last year of my media studies and production degree so I’m putting my 3 years of tears to use and have been brewing this theory since reading 85. Now let me clarify: I adore March, but the more we see, the more suspicious I become (especially with ep. 82 & 85), and while many think this may mean death or something tragic, I’ve been thinking of the possibility it’s something much bigger (Note: lots of speculation here so prepare for a lot of what if’s and I’m only using content up to ep. 85).

My thought process regarding the leader:

The leader is a rather dehumanized villainous entity. With them being anonymous and the reader not having a face to place with the actions, it’s easier for us to take the leader’s actions at face value. We are provided no means of sympathizing or empathizing with their actions and instead, our story follows characters who have been traumatized by said actions.

Therefore, to provide readers with the greatest impact, the leader would likely be a character who up until the discovery of them being the leader, the reader viewed them positively. A character already humanized. Already trusted. And this would be both in terms of how the reader views that character, as well as other characters in the story. It would leave the reader reeling, trying to figure out why such a character would be the leader.

And keep in mind: PH has used this approach with Harvey; the audience liked him for the short time he appeared before being caprisunned and we were shocked to discover his involvement in the PS. Additionally, we’ve had characters dehumanizing and humanizing with Kieran. He’s introduced as this deadly assassin who kills brutally, with the greatest death toll in the PS. But he becomes humanized through his interactions with Lauren, so much so that both the reader and Lauren forget his occupation and are provided a chilling reminder in ep. 43. However, even after those horrible events, as we learn more regarding his character in season 2, we begin to empathize with his actions and reactions (though we don’t condone them). It demonstrates a duality, a mix of light and dark, seemingly contradicting one another. Because people are complicated.

This is also why I can’t buy into the idea that Tristan or Stefan is the leader, in fact, I don’t think either one is even involved with the PS. For Tristan I think he comes off suspicious because A) he’s meant to be a red herring but B) LAUREN’S PARENTS WERE APOSTLES AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE DID NOT KNOW. THEY LEFT AT ODD HOURS OF THE NIGHT ALL THE TIME AND LIKELY GAVE LAUREN TO TRISTAN TO PROTECT HER FROM THAT LIFE. HE PROBABLY THINKS LAUREN IS PS. But anywho. As for Stefan, he’s already been villainized through his treatment of William. The audience doesn’t like him for this reason and is then inherently suspicious of him because they dislike him. So for me, it feels too obvious. (I have an additional theory that he was involved with the print shop shooting, assisting Lizbeth (from what’s alluded in 64 with Lauren’s parents and 68) as chief of police but that’s for another place another time.)

What we know about the leader:

- It’s a he

- Has to be part of the older generation (would have needed to be an adult about 15 years ago)

- Was a member of SD

- Knew Lauren’s parents

- According to Hecate, he is closer and more similar to Lauren than she thinks

So why March? (It’s not just the villain scar)

- His speech to Kym and Will in 60 had me SUS. It felt very contradicting (he acknowledges the flaws in the system while saying they must continue their jobs, which is valid, but his phrasing was still off to me) and generally in any mystery drama if I see a character go on a moral rant of sorts, my sus radar is dialed up to 11. Unfortunately, we don’t know how much of it was true and lies because Lauren wasn’t around but if he is the leader I’d find it so fascinating if everything he said is the truth. The idea that this terrorist does have sound morals would be SO INTERESTING and kind of fitting? The leader having a strong sense of justice or strong morals would make him more similar to Lauren as Hecate said. But more on Hecate later.

- As confirmed by 85, he knew Lauren’s parents. He even says they worked together on cases. Through their work together, did they start to realize the flaws in their system? Was there a case that was just too much? SD formed?

- The death of his daughter does kind of fit the SD timeline. (She died in xx11 the pamphlets are dated xx14 but SD was likely formed slightly before the release of the pamphlets but that's not yet really confirmed). We don’t know how her illness killed her (could be class-related. Like because of their class status perhaps they didn’t have access to the resources that could have saved his daughter? Who knows. He said they did all they could. March is likely middle class similar to Kym but we don’t know for sure. And even if he is middle class we don’t know if this was always the case, like if he was middle class at the time of his daughter’s death.)

- Additionally the death of his wife. The date is blocked and as others have theorized I find it very possible it could have been SD related. But this sentence is chilling: “She fell into the bloody hands of criminals that have been plaguing Ardhalis for too long.” March doesn’t specify these criminals as the PS. So could he mean the royals? (Literally everything he says to Lauren in ep. 85 could have a double meaning and it bugs me so much like he never specifies the criminals he’s referring to. And everything he says sounds like the monologue of a villain who sees themselves as a hero because they haven’t realized how far gone they are. But that’s just me. ) If she died in the print shop shooting could this have been the catalyst to drive March to become the leader and start the PS? Losing your daughter and wife is a lot to take and could drive anyone over the edge. Point is: if any of this speculation is true, it would give March motive for becoming the leader.

- Also March mentioned how Lauren reminds him of his daughter which could then explain why Lauren hasn’t been touched by the PS cause at this point the girl should have been caprisunned a while ago if she wasn’t being protected from the inside.

- To build on that as well, if March is the leader then he has kept an eye on Lauren since she joined the force aka since she would have become problematic for the PS (cause you can argue being the daughter of apostles may not automatically make her a threat since she was a child at the time. But being the daughter of apostles and joining the police force to take down the PS? Now that’s an issue). March says in ep. 60 that Lauren was one of his recruits meaning the leader could have had his eye on her the entirety of her time in the APD. Just something to consider.

- And going back to Hecate's words, he’s more similar to you than you think. March and Lauren share (seemingly) similar morals and additionally he is close to her just as Hecate claimed. Also if any of my speculation regarding the deaths of his wife and daughter are correct it would have put him in a similar position to Lauren, the difference being her enemy is PS and his being the royals (but also as we’re starting to see with Lauren learning more information, I think the royals are starting to become an enemy in her eyes the same way PS is. Again if any of this is correct it just furthers similarities between the two).

- This could then also be the betrayal alluded to in the cards; one of Lauren's mentors has been the leader this whole time. The betrayal is either past or future but March being the leader could count as both. He betrayed her in the past by ordering the death of her parents and may betray her again in the future as he continues to play the role of leader

- Plus this would also mean the leader has been present in the story FROM THE VERY BEGINNING MARCH WAS IN EP 2 HOW WILD WOULD IT BE IF WE’VE KNOWN THE LEADER THIS WHOLE TIME

- AND IMPORTANT NOTE: WHY IS MARCH NOT ONE OF THE PEOPLE LAUREN SUSPECTS DURING EP. 82 YET HE HAS HER BACK SIMILAR TO WILL AND KYM. "LAUREN OPEN YOUR EYES" BLINDEST OF THEM ALL TYPE STUFF. (Also with Lauren being the blindest of all, it led me to believe anyone Lauren is suspicious of, is not the one to betray her. I feel like it would have to be someone so unsuspicious, Lauren doesn’t even think of them. Which can be said of March; we literally have a whole scene in ep. 82 demonstrating how close they are and how a level of trust exists. Yet panels later, it doesn’t even cross her mind that he could betray her).

Now possible flaws in this theory (there are more I’m sure but here’s a few):

-Why voice support for lune and their actions: Lune’s actions have yet to affect the leader (at least to our knowledge) and have technically been helping the leader. The leader views Apostle 7 as an issue so obviously whoever the leader is, they won’t take issue with Lune taking down this problem for them. When first telling Lauren about McTrevor, Kieran said he was surprised he hadn’t been sent by the leader to kill him off yet. And when the 11th precinct received that first Lune letter about him, March was the one to voice that they should follow Lune’s orders. If he’s the leader, this could explain why he wanted to follow Lune’s orders and dispose of McTrevor without PS means. This is a possible explanation anyway.

- Why send moles into the 11th precinct if the leader himself is already there: I boil this down to a matter of seeming less suspicious. Like why possibly risk the exposure of your identity if your organization consists of hundreds of potential puppets who are easily disposable?

-Why place the PH in the 11th precinct if the leader is there: Okay this plays into another theory I have regarding Kieran. We know there are boatloads of parallels between Lauren and Kieran which left me thinking Kieran has had a similar Tim Sake type incident. What I mean by this is that Lauren’s whole deal with Tim Sake was heavily guided by her personal anger and resulted in distrust from her superior, Hermann. I think Kieran had a similar incident with killing that one person without orders, in which his actions were guided by his personal anger and resulted in distrust from his superior, the Leader. So we know from 83 Kierans been overseas for a while (Why? Was there a mission or did the leader need Kieran out of Ardhalis? Both?) and his comment in 64 (“I wonder how much longer his patience will last”), as well as the comments made by Bella and the messenger at various points regarding Kieran following and not following orders (ep 5 and 72-73?), further my thinking that the leader may be SUS of his best player. So what do you do with someone you’re suspicious of: you keep them right where you can see them.

- The one flaw I have yet to work out an explanation for is why order the death of lune? Regardless of who the leader is, this is a question I’ve mulled over since the end of season 1. J’en sais rien mes amis mais on verra.

Closing Thoughts:

Hopefully, this didn’t sound like the ramblings of a sleep-deprived senior (even though that’s exactly what this is haha) and hopefully, it gave you some stuff to consider. Up until this point, I never spent much time contemplating the leader, partly because I didn’t feel like we were far enough in the story to have enough evidence against one person. While much of this is speculation, I still think it’s the soundest case I have for any PH character we’ve met thus far being the leader.

[kiri-ah]

File: Sector 5

Part of the Action Figure Collab hosted by @go-shotaro

Pairing: Kim Jungwoo x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned for reader), low key Taeil x Sicheng if you squint

Themes: Dark Matter (TV Show) AU, Elite Dangerous (Video Game) AU, basically space stuff, gunfights, lasers, hackers, set in the future, spaceships, Star Wars is mentioned like twice, Sicheng is a jerk, Mark and Johnny are half-brothers

Warnings: Major character death, gunfights, blood, two swearwords, mentioned burials, mentioned black market

WC: 3.7k

Summary: In a galaxy divided into factions, war is rampant. The ship files that you’re searching for could solve all of your problems - if only you can get into the classified sector of the space station where they’re housed. With Jungwoo on one side and Taeil on the other, nothing can go wrong. Right?

Taglist: @allegxdly , @stayctday , @leelatte , @dundun-baby , @kunrengui ​

Author Note: Welcome to my first collab fic! This is also my first full-length fic on tumblr which is pretty cool. When I saw the concept for this collab I decided it was perfect for my first foray into working with other creators. In the process I made a lot of new friends and I had a lot of fun. Plus I’m pretty proud of this fic. Please enjoy File: Sector 5!

You walk as quickly as you can while still being discreet. There are a lot of people that you wouldn’t want to notice you here. Jungwoo and Taeil, following behind you, seem to have had the same thought. Taeil has a cap over his projector glasses, and Jungwoo has on a black too-big hoodie that hides his give-away physique. In your earpiece there’s silence, but that doesn’t bother you. Yangyang told you to reach out once you got to the section of the space station you need. You still have a few more obnoxiously crowded spaces to traverse before you arrive, so you focus on draining the urgency from your movements and walking like you belong here. Like you’re not about to break into a classified sector and commit a crime.

You make your way through the bar, the ship parts market, and the casino with minimal issues. You think you see a familiar face across the way in the market, but he turns away a second later and you breathe easy once again. If it was who you thought it was, you wouldn’t be alive anymore. Nakamoto Yuta is famed for his cruelty. You enter Sector 5 and speak quietly into your earpiece. 

“Yang, we’re in sector five. Where do we go from here?”

“I’m getting your location still, hold on,” comes Yangyang’s voice into your ear. 

“Take a left here, and then head down for a few hallways. This is one of the permanent sectors like ours, so you can use your gun now if need be and not worry about puncturing an outer wall.”

You take the left where he says to and continue down, checking to make sure that Jungwoo and Taeil are still behind you. They are, and so is another figure.

“Get over here,” you hiss, pulling them into a side hallway. The figure doesn’t appear to have seen you and passes by, turning down another hallway. You recognize the face of Xiao Dejun, an infamous criminal like yourself. You try not to think about what would have happened had he spotted you. You wouldn’t be dead, but you would probably wish you were. 

“What happened?” asks Yangyang in your ear. 

“Security,” you mutter. 

“Oh.”

You pull Jungwoo and Taeil out and walk down the hallway until Yangyang tells you to stop by a door. “You guys will need to get through this door without my help,” he says. “Beyond it, I can only get high energy drain levels. Be careful.”

Taeil kneels by the card scanner and pulls out his tools. You and Jungwoo turn around, standing guard in case another member of security comes and you need to shoot them. Taeil carefully prys the backing panel off of the scanner and maneuvers until he can see the wires. He scoffs. 

“For a high security organization, their security is terrible,” he mutters. He cuts the casing off of a wire and does something you can’t see with it, and the door slides open. You continue keeping watch as Taeil packs up his high-tech phillip’s head screwdriver and cleans up the casing. When you turn around, you’re speechless. 

“We found the source of the energy drain,” Jungwoo says in a low voice. Before you is a room of lasers, the kind you thought only existed in old movies. They cross back and forth across the space like an absurd red spider web and fizzle oddly like Redstone in that old game Chenle likes. Minecraft, was it? 

“What kind of black market did they get these on?”

Taeil shrugs and walks into the room. “Looks like we can get in,” he tells you. “The lasers are designed like shark teeth - easy to get in, not so easy to get out.” The analogy doesn’t help you feel any better about the situation, and you clutch at your gun. 

“Can you turn them off?” Jungwoo asks Taeil, seemingly as nervous as you are.

“I can, but we don’t need to to get in. Let’s focus on that on our way out.”

You nod and walk in, spotting the pattern like Taeil did. “Maybe their security is just bad,” you say. “This is so easy.” You swing your right leg over the nearest laser and start your way across. You get a finger close to the laser and feel the heat emanating from it. You turn to warn Taeil and Jungwoo of this, only to find that they’re already in the maze themselves. You duck under the next beam of red and feel the heat on the back of your head from the proximity, then step easily over one that reminds you of a tripwire - right at ankle level. You hear Jungwoo and Taeil following behind you, Jungwoo struggling a bit because of his wide shoulders. At some points you have to turn around and help him since he can’t see where his biceps are about to brush one of the heated red lines. At least Sungchan isn’t on your team, he’s even larger than Jungwoo. Chenle and Hendery will have to help him or find another way in. You almost laugh at the thought before deciding that you rather like all of your teammates, actually, and you don’t like to think about them dying by heated laser. Each time you stop to help Jungwoo, Taeil reminds you that you need to hurry. You eventually just tell him to please be quiet, because some people are trying to focus here. He shuts up, thankfully. 

 When you reach the end of the room, you’re faced with another door. Taeil tampers with the wires and it too slides open. The hallway is paneled with light gray and the floor is tile reminiscent of a hotel lobby. Your guns are poised to fend off an attack as the door opens, but nobody is there. You lower them slowly and Jungwoo steps out into the hallway. There are footsteps fading away down to your right, but nobody is watching for you here. You look for the source of the footsteps and spot who you’re pretty sure are the team Johnny and Mark, orphan half-brothers notorious for their sudden team changes depending on the paycheck. They’re for sale to the highest bidder, and they don’t care who that is. Your guess is confirmed when the shorter man laughs - you’ve worked with Mark before, and that laugh is both contagious and unique. 

When you refocus, Yangyang is back in your ear and instructing you to go the opposite way that the pair is walking. He says that the door at the end of this hallway is the one you want. Your shoes shuffle against the tile as you try to go quietly, with Jungwoo in front of you and Taeil nervously watching your backs. He isn’t as confident with a gun as you or Jungwoo, he prefers to work behind the scenes. The nature of this mission required a tech whiz on site, though, and he came reluctantly. He knows how important it is to steal the USB drive with ship plans on it. The newest fighter models will make or break the war for your faction, and you have reason to believe that those ships also have teleportation devices in the plans. Not just lightspeed travel, but all-out teleportation. You can only imagine that sort of power on your own ship, the Phoenix.

You walk all the way down the hallway and find the door that Yangyang has pointed out to you. Taeil once again gets down to open the wire panel and gasps in delight. 

“Finally a good security system! Give me a moment.” His face disappears behind the stand housing the card reader and he hums as he fiddles with whatever has made him so happy. Even laying at an awkward angle, his voice is beautiful. You sometimes wonder why he became a technician for a faction like yours when he could be a singer for one of the more powerful factions that aren’t always at war. When confronted with this question, he would smile a little and tell whoever was asking that his one true love was testing security systems, no matter how much his voice delighted other people. He said with a dry laugh once that the selfishness of that reason made him perfect for the job. Part of you doubted that story, but everyone working for your faction had baggage. You didn’t need to pry into his.

Eventually there comes a pleased “aha!” from behind you, and Taeil reemerges. His face has a smudge on it that you wipe away with your thumb. 

“Have fun?” 

You ask the question sarcastically, but Taeil nods happily. “That’s what I like to do. The other systems were easier, I think this room must be important.”

“That’s what I said,” grumbles Yagyang in your ear.

The door slips open with some prodding and you walk into a lab with pristine white surfaces and surfaces that look as though they’ve never been used. In the middle is a silver table covered in instruments of some kind, although you don’t know what they would be used for. The walls are lined with diagnostic panels, and one is a window into a secret hangar you weren’t aware of. Inside is a ship that looks a lot like the X-Wings of the Star Wars franchise. The movies are still iconic today despite how obsolete they are, and everyone knows that the X-Wings were never recreated due to a problem with their size in relation to the way they were meant to work. It appears that whoever made this ship has been hiding their discovery. 

“Y/N, focus,” Jungwoo whispers. You nod and turn away from the hangar, albeit reluctantly. 

You look at the remaining two walls, both of which are shorter and lined with  counters. Taeil is looking at one, and you walk over to the other. You find a monitor completely shut down and follow the cords down to discover that it isn’t plugged in. That’s a little strange. You look at the computer tower and find a USB drive, labeled “Schematics.” That’s even more strange. Why would they leave something so valuable lying around? Hiding in plain sight, perhaps? You plug the monitor in and turn it and the tower on, opening the USB files. You’re low on time, you know, but you have to make sure this is the right drive. 

Once the files are loaded, you gasp. “You guys, look at this.” Jungwoo and Taeil stand and look over your shoulders as you scroll through page after page of exact instructions and diagrams for the X-Wing. 

“They even stole the name from Star Wars,” Jungwoo scoffs. Taeil laughs lightly. 

“These are the right files, we should get out of here.”

“Agreed,” you say. You pocket the USB drive and unplug the monitor again, making sure to leave minimal traces of your passing through. “Let’s go.”

Yangyang repeats the directions out of Sector 5, and you walk quickly. You make it to the laser room without incident and go back through the doorway. “Taeil,” you ask, “can we get out of here faster if you turn off the lasers, or if we just walk through like we did on the way on?”

“Definitely turning them off,” he assures you. “It’s too time consuming to worry about things like this when we need to be worrying about the USB being reported missing.” He settles down by a panel near the start of the lasers and peels off the cover where it looks like maintenance might be done. You only know this because he tells you happily that there might be an off switch. 

“Aha! Found it!” he singsongs after a moment. The lasers go off a second later and you’re about to celebrate when a siren screeches from the ceiling. 

“All units to Hall Sixteen!” A voice yells over an intercom that you hadn’t noticed. “Lasers have been disabled!”

“Shit,” Jungwoo and Taeil say in unison. 

“Let’s go!” you yell. There’s no point in being quiet now. You hear the clomping of boots down the hall and yelling from both ends of the laser room. Hall Sixteen.

You run out towards the exit and find yourself facing Xiao Dejun and another man you don’t know. They both have guns and are shooting the moment you get within range. You shoot back, missing Dejun by inches. 

“Sicheng?” cries Taeil from beside you. He lowers his gun slightly. “I thought you were dead!” He runs towards the man, completely ignoring the battle around him. Dejun shoots at him but misses. Jungwoo hits him in return, a nonlethal hit to the arm. It’s enough to make him take pause though, and long enough for you to see with crystal clarity as the other man - Sicheng - raises his gun and shoots Taeil in the chest. Taeil doesn’t even have his gun up, and the shot tears right through his body. He collapses into the fall, blood spouting from the wound. It looks like Sicheng hit his heart.

Someone is screaming, and you realize it’s you. You feel your nose start to burn and your eyes brim suddenly with tears. Not Taeil! you want to scream. Taeil can’t be dead! Your body reacts faster than your brain, and you shoot Sicheng in the gut as he stares at Taeil’s body, looking almost shocked. Then you rush forward and kick the wound, making sure it hurts. 

“You asshole!” you cry. “You killed Taeil!” You dodge another bullet from Dejun (it hits Sicheng in the upper stomach, and you have just enough brain space left to be smug) and spot Johnny and Mark behind Jungwoo. You scream and point, not even having words. Thankfully Jungwoo understands and spins to meet them. You shoot at Dejun, wasting bullets. One hits his left shoulder, and another hits a rib. You hear it crack. He writhes out of the way of the rest. You kick his gun hand to disarm him and knee him in the balls, a simple solution to his frustrating ability to avoid bullets. Having properly taken care of him, you turn to face Johnny and Mark. 

They have Jungwoo cornered, and he’s desperately dancing out of the way of more bullets. He already has red spreading across his right side. It looks like just a graze, but it could have easily been far worse. You pick up Dejun’s gun and use it to shoot the back of Johnny’s thigh. He crumbles to the floor, blood already gushing angrily out of the wound. Mark turns to him, worried, and somewhere in the back of your mind you realize that’s sort of sweet before you shoot Mark too. He doesn’t deserve to die any more than Taeil did, and you liked working with him, but he’s the enemy right now. He needs to go down. You take aim and shoot him in the side, which is the best place you can hit at this angle. He looks almost surprised at the intrusion. You turn away. Jungwoo runs up behind you. 

“Taeil?” you ask, looking down at his body. “Are you in there?” You reach down to feel his pulse, except there isn’t one. His neck is already cooling where he lays, a  surprised look still painted across his features. 

“Y/N, we have to go,” Jungwoo says. 

“We have to bury him!” you screech. You didn’t even know your voice could sound like this. You suppose you’ve never lost someone as important as Taeil before, though.

“We’ll come back for him as soon as we get the USB back to home base,” Jungwoo mutters. “Come on.” He tugs on your arm, and you follow him, letting the tears flow. Jonny shoots one last time at you, but misses. Of everyone who could have died, it had to be Taeil. Precious Taeil with his lovely voice and sweet temperament, the person everyone went to if they needed someone to chill with. He would never again hear you complain about uncertain futures or how you missed your home planet. He would never again hug you or make you smile or gift your ears with his sweet tunes. 

“We’ll come back,” you repeat, nose stuffing up. “We’ll come back.”

You leave Sector 5, only meeting one more person. Jungwoo shoots whoever it is before you even register their presence. Thank goodness that one of you has their head still on right. Getting back inconspicuously is a little harder with bloodstains on Jungwoo’s side, but you somehow manage to avoid everyone you don’t want to see. You sneak in the back way to your building and get up to Doyoung’s office. He’s the leader of your little group, so he’s the one you take the info to.

When you knock, he invites you in, and you enter the room. You’re never quite sure if he’ll be happy to see you, so you walk in with some trepidation. Thankfully he has one of his beautiful smiles on and welcomes you in. 

“What did you get?” he asks. 

“A USB Drive, it has files for new ships,” you tell him. “ Exactly what we were looking for.”

“Where are Jung-”

Doyoung gets cut off by a voice coming through the radio on his desk. “Sir! Doyoung, sir?”

Doyoung holds up a finger to you and presses the talk button. “Yes Yangyang?”

“Is Y/N with you yet, sir?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N,” Yangyang says, “he doesn’t know yet what happened.” Doyoung looks at you, eyes questioning. 

“Okay Yang,” you say. “I’ll- I’ll tell him.”

“Okay. That’s all, sir.”

Doyoung looks at you across the desk and narrows his eyes. “What happened?”

“We got in without incident,” you say. “There was a laser maze, but we got through okay. We didn't get caught on the way in and found a lab. That’s where we found the drive. I made sure these were the right files, and then we left. Taeil-” You cut yourself off, tears threatening again. 

“Taeil turned off the lasers so we could get out, but it activated some sort of security system. Some men came to kill us and Taeil recognized one. I think his name was ‘Sicheng.’ Taeil-” You take another deep breath. “He ran toward the man, gun down, like he thought the man wouldn’t hurt him. But Sicheng… He killed Taeil. Shot him in the heart.” 

The tears are flowing freely  down your cheeks now, and you make no move to get rid of them. Doyoung looks shaken for the first time since you’ve known him, and he stands up. He walks around the desk to hug you, mindless of the blood on your clothes. 

“We’ll give him the hero’s burial he deserves,” he murmurs. “In the meantime, you should go and put the drive with our other ship plans.

You nod in the affirmative and leave his office. The file storage room is just down the hall. Your surroundings are a bit blurry from the tears in your eyes, but you make it fine. Yangyang is already there, and he pats you on the back as you plug the USB drive into its designated spot. It has a blood spot on the label and you sort of smile at the irony. You won, but at what cost?

A moment later the entire course lights up. “The Red Team wins!” proclaims a voice from the speakers. You feel the character you were playing melt off as your laser tag gun powers off. The dryness in your throat and the tears on your face fade away with the persona you became for the game. You high-five Yangyang and run to get Taeil from where he lays on the other side of the course, still playing dead. You run into Johnny on the way. “Good game,” he says, bumping your fist. “Hitting my thigh patch was a fantastic idea! You’re a really good shot.”

“Thank you. Your team owes us pizza,” you remind him smugly. 

“I know.” He throws you a playful glare on the way past. “We’re going to the fifth floor dorms once everyone’s rounded up. I think Lucas and Jeno tied up Sungchan, Hendery, and Chenle, so I’m going to get them.”

“Sounds good. We’re gonna go get Taeil, Sicheng, and Xiaojun.”

“Okay. Meet you at the entrance!”

He walks off and Yangyang follows you to Sector 5.

“You did an amazing job acting!” he says. “It really helped me get into my role.”

“I thought I would actually cry when Taeil fake died,” you tell him. “He actually looked dead.”

“Well I couldn’t see, obviously, but after you guys left he just sat and hummed. It was hilarious. In one channel, you’re screaming your revenge and sobbing, and in the other, Taeil is humming Baekhyun-sunbaemin.”

Taeil meets you at the beginning of the laser hall. “That was so much fun,” he enthuses. 

“Yeah it was,” you agree. “You did a great job with the puzzles!” You’re referring to the puzzles that kept Sector 5 locked. Supposedly they were hard enough to keep intruders out, but Taeil had gotten in pretty easily. 

He smiles. “Thank you. You did a great job kneeing Xiaojun in the nuts, he was out for a solid minute.”

“ I didn’t hurt him too much, did I?”

“Nah, he’ll recover. He might want to punch you or something though, I don’t think he was acting with that part.”

“Oh.”

You walk back to the entrance with everyone in the group and do a quick headcount. Twenty-three men. Okay, you’re good to go.

You pile into multiple vans out front where their managers sit, bored. They congratulate the winning team and drive you to the dorms, where you all squeeze into the 5th floor apartment and Johnny orders pizza for everyone. You’re very glad that you don’t have to pay for all of the food for twenty-four people.

“We should do that again some time!” Mark suggests as you’re eating. There’s a resounding cry of agreement as everyone lifts their pizza slices to the idea. 

You’re totally going to do that again.

End.

All Rights Reserved, kiri-ah, 2021

[allykakamatsu]

Hypothetical P5A

Okay, gonna make this clear right up front, I wanted to make this post for a while but the main reason I decided to do it now is because the Atlus announcement thing is almost here, and also cause I saw a video on this topic by Thorgi’s Arcade (go watch it btw it’s good) and while I agree with a lot of what he said, there’s also some things I’d change, not just cause I disagree, but also cause I think it would be fun. Anyway enough beating around the bush, let’s do this

Gameplay

I’m a firm believer in the phrase, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and the Arena games are already really good so not much to change. That being said, I still wanna change some things. First off though, we are keeping this 1 vs 1, no tag team matches. The arena games already have a lot of Mechanics going on and trying to keep everything as well as some new stuff WHILE adding a tag team button, yeah no let’s not outside of maybe a bonus mode.

This means I can’t add Batton Pass in as a new mechanic to represent P5, but I have a solution, that being Technicals. Status ailments already exist in this game, so how about when you inflict one and do a specific combo you do more damage, also providing risk vs reward as the player with the status will have a better idea of what the opponent will do making them more predictable. Also as for Persona’s, mostly everyone’s will be fully evolved, minus Yu cause him getting a final boss persona normally is a tad to OP, meanwhile the P5 characters will have their starting Persona’s, but they will evolve for big moves, like awakened mode supers and instant kills

I’m also borrowing Thorgi’s Arcade idea of having supports giving a slight buff in battle, like if you pick Fuuka your meter can build faster for a bit, meanwhile if you pick Futaba you’ll get an attack and defence buff. It’s the fairest way to include them without having to make them playable. I know Rise is already playable but this roster is going to have to be small as it is, and being a support doesn’t mean you can’t be DLC later.

Also, we’re not bringing back the Shadow Characters, just, we are not dealing with the likes of Shadow Naoto again.

:readmore:

Story

I am about to cop out a bit here, but Thorgi’s Arcade video had a really good idea for the story so I’ll just link it here https://youtu.be/yyB5rEM9UVU

To summarise for people who don’t want to watch, Nyarlathotep, the main villain from the Persona 2 games, has been gaining strength from all the suffering humanity has gone through due to 3, 4 and 5, and has gained enough strength to create a new Joker to try finish what he started and destroy the world. Mitsuru might think the Phantom Thieves are behind it cause this is clearly persona related and the fact that the leader of the PT’s is also named Joker is public knowledge, Naoto gets largely the same idea, Katsuya and Maya decide to have their own investigation, meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are trying to prove their innocence and help save the world. Nice excuse to bring everyone together, but who will the everyone be?

Base Roster

Okay, I know the dream is getting everyone from Ultimax back plus the new P5 characters, but given Arc System’s standard for small base rosters, I’m not holding my breath. The ideal would be everyone plus who I’m about to say for P2 and P5, but I’m keeping it… somewhat realistic. Anyway onto the actual size, 16 seems fair enough. One more than the most recent Guilty Gear game for a series that had pretty big success so that sound fair enough. Let’s get the obvious out of the way though, all the base 8 Phantom Thieves besides Futaba are making the cut

Okay so that’s obvious but how will they play? Starting off with Ren/Joker, Smash Bros already laid a great foundation with him being very fast on the ground and in the air plus being great at combos, so I see no reason to change that. Also no need for him to be a Jack of all trades either cause spoilers, Yu is coming back and he already fills that role.

As for the others, Ryuji I can see being a slugger charge hybrid. Basically starting out he hits pretty hard but is a bit on the slow side to compensate, but just like any good athlete, give him a chance to warm up, ie do a charge input, and he becomes a lot faster and has better combo potential. Or we could make him a toned down version of Little Mac where he’s great on the ground but he’s in trouble the second aerial combat is involved. Then there’s Morgana who with his ability to turn into cars and the fact he introduces thief tools like smoke bombs, I can see him being a faster but frailer successor to Teddie.

Then there’s Ann who, no doubt, she’s a Zoner, and with her fire she’ll be Yukiko’s sort of successor. However instead of healing, I’d implement the fact that she learns concentrate and have it so the more she charges it up, the stronger her attacks get, but the Meter will gradually go down over the match. Yusuke, as tempting as it is to cop out and say ‘have him play like Vergil in Marvel vs Capcom’, I have a different idea. Namely, take advantage of the fact that Yusuke can learn counter by having him be the defensive specialist, set up ice traps to freeze the opponent, and if they get close, he can either counter or go for some combos.

Then there’s Makoto who would definitely be a grappler. I mean, she practices Aikido and is really strong, she can 100% pull it off. Finally Haru…… TANK! I mean come on, Haru wields an axe, has a grenade launcher, and Melady is literally a dancing tank in a pink dress, it just makes too much sense. I’d also give her a bit of armor cause if she’s slow she at least needs a chance to get her attacks in.

Okay so that’s 7 out of our 16 slots down, and given that one slot will have to be saved for the Evil Joker who would be the villain, we’re halfway done with 3 games to go, lord help me.

Okay, starting this off with P4, I’m gonna give them more than the others purely because they were the focus of the originals and there’s less realistic cuts I can make compared to 2 and 3. To make things simple, every returning character would play the same, and as for the ones I’d bring back for the base roster, we’ve got Yu, Yosuke, Chie and Naoto. Why them specifically? Well Yu is the main character, Naoto being a detective would basically mean she’d be the one getting everyone involved in the first place, Chie is currently training to be a cop as confirmed in P5 so her getting called in makes sense, and Yosuke is the best investigator after Yu and Naoto, he’s always up for a mystery and the second he learns Yu is involved he’s joining in. I just couldn’t cut him.

Now before the really painful cuts, Persona 2 is really easy. Out of Innocent Sin party members, by the end of the series Maya is the only one left with a Persona, and Katsuya is not only older brother of Innocent Sin’s protag Tatsuya, but he’s also pretty important and a detective so he’s definetly the one Maya’s dragging into this. As for how they play, they both use guns like Naoto, but how I’d mix them up is with Katsuya, I’d let him attack while moving (unlike Naoto who has so stay still to fire) at the cost of less combo potential, meanwhile Maya dual wields her guns so she’ll probably play like Noel Vermillion from BlazBlue where she’d more or less just use the guns to get longer reach melee attacks instead of shooting.

Now, for the hard part. There’s only 2 slots left, one of them basically has to go to Mitsuru (not that I’m complaining I’d probably add her anyway) meaning now I have to choose between the rest of the Shadow Operatives/SEES for the last slot. I narrowed it down to the 3 that were in the original Arena cause they’re the most plot relevant, but that still meant I had to choose between Akihiko and Aigis. I ended up deciding on Aigis though cause A, with Labrys not making the base roster someone has to represent the robots of the series, and B, with Akihiko currently pulling a Ryu by travelling to get stronger, it makes more sense that Aigis would be closer and easier for Mitsuru to call up. Honestly I was tempted to bump the roster up to 17 so I could have both of them on the base roster, but this is ArcSystems, 16 is already kinda pushing it.

DLC

Given that this is a modern fighting game, DLC is inevitable. However since this DLC will likely be like Ultimax where the story acts to wrap up loose ends and have a new story, it’s going yo be big, especially since there’s going to be a fight with Nyaraloptep, so go big or go home in this case. Okay so first order of business, anyone who was in the previous arena games who wasn’t in the base roster is getting added back in, it’s only fair. That out of the way, the new faces I’d add are Futaba actually being playable now and the big 4 P5 characters I skipped, Akechi, Yoshizawa, and Sophie. Before anyone asks though, Sophie was added into a Dragalia Lost collab with Koei Techmo not being credited so she’s likely Atlus’s copyright so she's safe to add.

With that out of the way, how would they play? Starting with Futaba, I’d think she’d be the resident puppet fighter, sitting on top of Necinomicon and only occasionally adding in some of her own attacks like a projectile. Also she'd also probably act as a bit of a grappler cause her Persona has tentacles (no hentai jokes please) which have long reach so that'll be perfect for it. Next up is Akechi who I can see as semi being two characters in one. My basic idea is that at first Akechi will be fighting with Robin Hood and he'll be a solid jack of all trades with a slight focus on rush down. However once he goes into his awakened mode he'll gain Loki, which will increase his speed and attack strength, at the cost of his defence, turning him into a glass cannon.

Next is Yoshizawa, or 'Sumi as I like to call her, and her thing will be she's the mobility focused fighter, namely constantly moving around the stage and poking at her opponent while doing it, at the cost of being frail. Finally there’s Sophie who would be a combo focused zoner, as in her standard projectiles (the yo-yo’s) wouldn’t hurt that much on their own, but she can string them together into the fancy yo-yo tricks to potentially do big damage. As for how much this DLC would cost, it’s going to be very big, so €25 to €30 sounds fair

I think that more or less covers my thoughts. I could keep going on about this for a while, but I think this is a good place to stop. Hope you like my idea!

[captlok]

Pacifism Isn’t A Character Trait

Or: MLK Day is Upon Us so Let Me Do You a Learn

Or: As An Aang Stan I Got a Bit Over-Zealous But Lemme Explain Why For A Hot Minute

Plus some History and Tumblr commentary that even non-ATLA fans can chew on

And by ‘hot minute’ I do mean this is going to be a long meta, so strap in.  For those of you who just might be tuning into this debacle, I, a person who has not used Tumblr, much at all, except for the last half year, ran into some trouble. 

If you wanna skip the whole TLDNR interpersonal stuffs and get straight to Why Aang is the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, I will embolden the relevant parts, and italicize the crit of Korra, if you want that alongside.

I was excited that ATLA was seeing a resurgence due to the Netflix remake. I wasn’t even trying to apply any steep expectations for it. (learned not to do that the hard way with the last live action adaption, and to a much lesser extent, ATLOK, since it had good . . . elements, *ba dum tsshh*) 

So, these are a couple aspects of the issue: (1) Even on the internet, I am extremely introverted and until recently mostly came for content, not socializing. My main online interactions thus far have been in forums and artist-to-artist on DA. Tumblr is still very strange to me because it splits up its ‘threads’ so you can’t see all the replies if a certain pattern of users responds in their own space. I’m not even 100% sure it’s in chronological order, and replies are not nested next to each other so you can look in the comments and someone will be replying to something you can’t see in that window. And also since it is a bizarre hybrid of a blogging system, posts are somehow considered ‘owned by’ or an ‘extension of’ OP in a way forum threads are not. (2) ATLOK was good in a cinematic and musical way, to be sure. It also had some good concepts. I can go into it just appreciating it for the worldbuilding and be somewhat satisfied. But the execution was terrible. I was on AvatarSpirit.Net for years, and If I had maintained my presence on ASN to current day and had gotten around to downloading their archive now that the forum is dead, I would include some links to other peoples’ detailed analyses on just how flawed both the plotting and Korra’s frustratingly flat learning curve was especially in the first two seasons. But, that is a task for another day, and only if people are interested. 

No, what I’m addressing today, on the issue of Korra as a writing exercise, is how Mike and Bryan said specifically they wanted to make her ‘as opposite to Aang as possible’ and in so doing, muddied the central theme of the original ATLA series.

Now, again, I was mainly an art consumer for my first major round of ATLA fandom. Tumblr is an alien beast to me. But, after I write my first major Aang meta, talking about how amazing it is that he has the attitude he does, and how being content in the face of this overwhelming pain and suffering is an ONGOING PROCESS and an INTENTIONAL DECISION and not a simple PERSONALITY TRAIT, I start hearing that Aang gets a lot of hate from the fandom. Now this would be bad enough if it were merely people not liking his crowning moment of pacifism because they don’t understand the potential utility (I’ll elaborate on that in another post) or the ethics involved.

Aang is easily the most adult member of the Gaang. But he apparently gets hate for his few moments where he actually acts his age, a preteen, and maybe kisses a girl in a historical timeframe in which ‘consent’ discussions were probably nonexistent. Even in the present day, we are still practically drowned in movies that reinforce this kissing without asking trope. And even some female bodied people complain that asking kills the mood! But somehow he is responsible and reprehensible for this, even though the first time she kissed him back. I’m only going to get into the pacifism discussion today, but that was just another layer of annoyance bouncing around in the back of my head.  Other peoples’ crit of Korra that was stewing in my subconscious, plus this Aang bashing, which thankfully I had not directly read much of, made up the backdrop of gasoline for the match that set it off.  Even that seems a pretty melodramatic way to phrase what I actually said, which was: Aang, on the other hand, lost dozens of father figures and was being steamrolled by Ozai who was gloating about genocide TO HIS FACE, yet he still reigned in all that quote, ‘unbelievable rage and pain’ (The Southern Raiders). We Stan Aang, the Superior Avatar. No I did not f**king stutter. #AangSupremacy In another meta, someone complained that I was too defensive of Aang as a character and didn’t apply literary analysis enough, which I quickly rectified.

What set this off? Someone was kind of indirectly praising the line from Korra,  “When I get out of here, none of you will survive” To them it was emotionally resonant or whatever, and I have to point out that no, it was a martial artist not having control of their state of mind, as is the bedrock of the practice. It was never addressed by the narrative, which is a severe oversight.  I had a conversation with someone in the chats, making this distinction between Korra’s character traits and life philosophy. If she were to kill people while enraged and she was fine with that, that’s one thing. But if she regretted it, that’s a whole other kettle of fish. People argue that she comes from a warrior culture, unlike Aang.

Never mind that warrior monks are a thing. That’s what Shaolin monks are. You can be a pacifist and skilled at fighting. Those things are not mutually exclusive, which is the whole point of Bagua, Aang’s style.  And also, Katara’s style. 

That’s one reason I like Kataang so much- their congruent styles. Both of their real world martial arts are dedicated to pacifism, even though ATLA specifically doesn’t spell that out for Katara and her learning arc. 

There was a meta where someone briefly tried to argue that knowing “martial arts” is against pacifism. No. Quite the opposite. I’d argue that you are not a true pacifist unless you know exactly how to handle yourself if someone attacks you.  If you are not in a position to make conscious decisions about how much force to use, rather than merely operating on survival instincts, that is not pacifism. Or at least, not any energy or effort towards pacifism as a practical everyday tool.  I’ve made a few attempts to learn some tai chi and aikido, and it’s improved my physical and mental health, but some other things have gotten in the way. #lifegoals

I’m not going to tag the unfortunate soul whom I was replying to, because they’re probably tired of all this, but I’ll be sending them a PM to say that I’ve made this into a different post, because as I mentioned before, threads are somehow considered “owned” by OP, so it’s been pointed out to me that I should separate it.  I also said, I have basically ZERO respect for Korra uttering violent threats when the writers already minted a far more emotionally devastated and yet still resilient and centered character earlier in their franchise. People always try to excuse away people who genuinely like Aang more.  As if it’s just nostalgia or whatever. For me, no, it’s absolutely not. It is respect for a character who stands toe to toe with real people who are kind in the face of overwhelming injustice. (I have another meta on that). 

Both OP and people in the chats try to make excuses that she wasn’t raised as a pacifist, and that would be fine if they had addressed it with Tenzin and she had stated outright that she was rejecting pacifism and mind training. As it is, we are left with this nebulous affair where the lines between ideology and personality traits are blurred. 

We are told she “has trouble with spirituality” but what does that even mean? Does she have trouble with focus? Does she have trouble relating to the canonically real spirits? And pacifism specifically nor inner peace that it flows from is never even talked about as an extension of spirituality, which is canonically tied to airbending.

“Aang didn't have to deal once with the loss of his autonomy in atla” OP claims.

This was after I had noted that Aang was getting kicked around by Ozai and was most likely going to die.  Similarly, someone in the chat rejected the idea that a 12 year old trapped in a stone sphere that is heating up under a cyclone-sized blowtorch feels powerless. 

Sorry but that’s flat out ridiculous.

No one wants to admit that both of these people were faced with similar situations, and when push came to shove, one showed his LIFE PHILOSOPHY through conscious effort, and the other was abandoning the basis of martial arts, which is, no matter what the situation, keep thinking. Hold the panic at bay. Non-attachment would have served her well in this situation. Tenzin should have told her this. Before, or afterwards. It should have been addressed in the writing.  

People see this as “bashing” Korra, and oh well, can’t help that. If I think the writers didn’t follow through on their themes, that is my concern.  OP said I was “offended.” No, not really. 

I wasn’t offended by the post itself, or its commentary. Thought I made that pretty clear.

This is not dramatics. Let me be blunt.

As a ideological pacifist, and an actual practitioner of meditation, based on Buddhism, NOT just the fan of some show, I am for calling out writers who write one way from the survivor of genocide, and then stray from that ‘thoughtless aggression is immoral no matter HOW hurt I am’ to ‘let’s not address this character’s aggression in the narrative whatsoever.’ OP attempted to derail by accusing me of being racist or sexist against Korra. Also ridiculous. It honestly should have set me off more, but it didn’t. 

Meditation is about reigning in your emotions. Managing your anger when it gets out of hand, and digging down to the roots of it. Being responsible for your own behavoir. Acknowledging ownership of your own actions. Not blaming anything YOU DO on anyone else or any circumstances in your life. Like an adult, or should I say, an enlightened adult.

Or at the very least, that is the ideal ypu strive towards while being imperfect in the present.

. . .

Now.

I’m going to quote a passage in a Google Doc of mine, even though I’d really prefer if you asked to read the whole thing, with context.

“What do humans do when it is necessary to, or greed makes a nation want to recruit?

They go to the army to get trained, right?

Granted, having someone scream and get spittle on your face is, in the grand scheme of things, poor preparation for having bullets whiz past your chest and grenades shatter your ears. And, what do you do to prepare you for the pain of getting your leg blown off? Hopefully, nothing. Like taking a test where you only got half the study guide. But, it’s about the most ethical way to go about it, right?

Not everyone even sees action. So any more more extensive mental preparation for physical pain than that, and you’d have people definitely protesting.

Well, as it turns out, pacifistic protestors themselves, if they were in the right time and place, also very intentionally do this type of mind training. Except, when they did it, they actually did sit still and took turns roughly grabbing each other and throwing each other down and in some cases, even kicking and bruising each other.

Turns out, those pacifists are, in some ways, more hardcore than the army.

Why is this?

Because a pacifist’s aim, unlike a unit, who wants to gain the upper hand in a situation, is to grit their teeth and grind their way through all those survival instincts, and totally submit.

In this, they aim to get the sympathy of the public, who clearly sees they are not aggressive, or a danger, no matter how much the footage is manipulated or suppressed.

In this, they hope to appeal to their attacker’s better nature.

Make them stop and think, wait a second, are these people a threat like we’re told they are? I’m attacking someone who’s letting me beat them up. Or a bunch of people. All forming a line, and letting us peel them off. Or sitting, and bowing their heads. If I’m on the ‘right’ side of things, the law, why am I doing this?

It’s not like a bully, who’s just a kid.” They’re more self-aware.

And might I add the situation influences a pacifist’s actions too. There’s no reason to let a single or a few random attackers beat you up if you can evade or disable without permanent damage.

Pacifism is a dynamic set of responsive actions informed by values. Not a proscribed set or a checklist.

But in terms of organizing against state power, and recording wrongdoing, which unlike during the Civil Rights can happen from all angles from smart phones nowadays, these are the motivations.

“So, the pacifist knows this, and that’s why they go through all that trouble of training themselves to, not only submit, but not turn tail and run, either.”

See, a character trait is something like being a morning person, or ways of handing information, or a given set of emotions a character feels. Once you cross over into actions, you must make the distinction of whether an impulsive character agrees with their own uncontrolled actions, or is embarrassed or remorseful. Those are life philosophy. Now sure, one type of person or character may be more likely to subscribe to pacifism, but there is no gatekeeping on what you have to feel or how you look at things. You can be easygoing, or feel all the rage in the world, but as long as you at least attempt to have a handle on those desires and feelings to where they do not cross into actions, you are still doing the work of metacognition, which is what martial arts and its accompanying mind training are for.

It’s what we see Aang do.

He’s informed us, during the Southern Raiders, on how much rage and pain he feels.

Pain points, TRIGGERS, that were directly struck at when Ozai gloated over him.

He joins with all the past Avatars for several moments, and just like every other time he is in the Avatar State, he is enraged. He wants to exact revenge on the unrepentant grandson of a baby murderer.

We see it when he turns his head away, face still screwed up in anger.

For another example, I could cite my difficulties in being aware and reining in my tongue sometimes. I know the roots of these issues and I seek to let them go.

It’s just that process takes way longer than Guru Pathik would have us assume.

In fact, I would even say that Aang’s portrayal throughout the three seasons is not strictly a realistic representation of at least the sad side of grief. I addressed that a little when I talked about real life figures. But what it IS, is a metaphor that cuts very deep to the heart of pacifism. As I showed in that Doc . . . There is no limit of suffering a pacifist is willing to go through, internal or external, for the preservation of peace.

This was demonstrated during the Civil Rights, and with Gandhi and all his followers beforehand, inspiring them. The pacifists’ method of swaying hearts is probably the reason BLM exists in such numbers as it does today. Will the types of narratives that correspond with their full stories of the way they collectively planned and trained for and approached conflict make it into fantasy media? I’d say, probably not. For a host of reasons.

It could be hoped for, I guess.

But we DO have Aang.

As for myself, whether speaking sharply is an “action,” per se is up for debate- certainly it doesn’t seem to violate the non-aggression principle put forth by the vision of a “stateless society.”

For another example, let’s take my explanation at the beginning. I am examining how circumstances affected my actions, and now am attempting to fix it, if indeed it needs to be fixed. 

At least one person said that it not so much what I said, but how and when I said it. I don’t actually think I’ve said anything “wrong” per se. So I have to figure it out. 

[I’m considering splitting up this next part into a second post, as it only slightly relates to pacifism itself and is just kinda some more commentary on Tumblr itself- Tumblr discourse, as it were]

[I’ll put more brackets when I’m done in case you want to skip this part as well]

An interesting social difference between Tumblr and other places is this command you often get, “don’t chat/reblog/message me back.”

This is interesting for several reasons. For chats and reblogs, other people may be following the “conversation,” so it’s actually pretty rude and presumptuous to tell a person not to respond to whatever you said, because other people watching still may be interested in your take.

In a forum setting, if someone involved in a conversation doesn’t have anything left to say, usually they just don’t respond.

This method would work perfectly fine for Tumblr, but for some reason, maybe its super odd format, probably due to the “ownership”/“extension of self” I mentioned at the beginning of the essay, people don’t tend to do this.

Now, in comment sections, sometimes you’ll run across an amusing sort of “mutually assured destruction” where two people both say this to each other. You’d better stop responding. Omg just give up. Why are you still arguing. Etc.

But see, no matter where this behavoir pops up, and no matter who starts in on it, those who do this usually want to have the last say on the matter.

Instead of merely not replying, they want to assert verbal control over the conversation.

Tumblr, in its weirdness, is also sort of like a mutant comments section. You can post comment section threads as your own post.

Which is one reason why I’m puzzled when people say ‘don’t read the comment sections’ when Tumblr is so popular.

I’m an oddball in that I browse comment sections for fun.

Probably due to alexithymia, I didn’t really comprehend the emotional toll it takes on many people, so the warnings to “stay out of comment sections” read to me like “hey don’t eat that dessert.” After I’m done with the ‘meal’ of an article or art, I like to see what lots of different people have to say about it. The fluff. Anything vitriolic I either blip over, or extract anything useful, or if I judge the person is reasonable enough, I might engage.

Sometimes I mis-judge on how reasonable someone is, and I shrug and move on after being cussed out or whatever.

In this, I suppose I succeed much of the time in being a verbal pacifist.

[But let’s get back to the more serious stuff.]

We’re talking about what is done in life or death situations, here.

For myself, I may in the near future be working more with dangerously mentally ill people. I’ve had a little exposure to it through various means. Nurses are obligated not to retaliate against patients, and those who have, have been fired in some situations. Again oddly, this is not primarily what triggers my anxiety. Unfortunately enough, this requirement has also resulted in nurses getting seriously injured and violated. I hope to influence whether “no harm” techniques such as tai chi and aikido and arm locks may be allowed. The voluntary philosophy I was luckily already on board with is enforced by bureauacracy, directly relevant to my potential profession.

Were someone to get involved in a dangerous profession, such as a police officer, their moral duty would also be to own up to any spur of the moment anger or fear they acted on. 

It’s just that their bureaucracy acts differently, in excusing their actions.

Ideally, they would be taking steps far in advance, to avoid this often-cited fear of death reaction. As training pacifists like Aang do. 

And yes, army people are trained differently than police officers because the army, often, even when threatened, is supposed to avoid engagement or deploy deterrents that are non-lethal almost all costs, unless ordered otherwise. Whereas American police are given pretty much complete discretion and often not taught de-escalation techniques. Even police from other nations are better trained in that regard.

Enter the ironically named @avatarfandompolice whose account description should really speak for itself. Combative, dismissive, and their attention-hungry bread and butter is to find people they think it’s acceptable to ridicule.  They basically tried to say trauma was a valid excuse to take out your anger on other people, and in this situation, potentially kill. 

Now, does this hold up in the real world? Yeah, sometimes. Especially if some law breaker or law keeper has not been given the anger management tools, they perhaps could be excused, or better yet, rehabilitated.

But especially if anyone finds themselves in dangerous situations, or intends to put themselves in such, it falls to them to do this preparation.

As an aphant, I am at a bit of a disadvantage, compared to an average martial artist, being unable to visualize an attacker. But I still attempt it.

As the main “police officer” of the world- the coincidentally blue clad figurehead that is supposed to keep order, it is apparently fine for Korra to not do the work Aang did to keep level. To blow it off as too much trouble: clearing the First Chakra of fear. For herself or others. And its resultant anger. Had she had access to the Avatar State, the authority figure pretty much would have killed people.  This is what the “fandom police” and a certain chat goer ultimately support. Maybe they didn’t understand it that way, and since the second had blocked me, they will also never see this explanation. Unless I were to share it in Google Doc form I suppose.

So, I responded. “Remember kids, you are not responsible for your own behavior if you have the excuse that someone else did something bad to you.” A frighteningly common sentiment on this site.

When it’s low stakes like CAPSLOCKING or internet fights, that’s not such a big deal. But what happens if this attitude leaks into the real world? This isn’t even about Korra or Aang anymore, it’s about toxic mindsets. I didn’t know fans taking pro-Korra posts as anti-Aang was a common in the fandom. I’ll say again I’ve only just gotten really active on Tumblr like the past few months. This is about pacifism itself. MLK and his hardworking, training followers (yes some of them sixteen and POC and not super-powered like Korra) facing down firehoses and staging sit-ins long trained for would shake their heads at this defense of reactionism. 

Pacifism is not a Personality Trait.

It is deliberate actions and preparation taken over a period of time.

Then the “fandom police” tried more of this, and these two conversations ensued, the comments with another user resulting in the title and main thesis of this essay:

https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638777472806273024/avatarfandompolice-response-to-my-independent

https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638806142933467136/the-plight-was-not-what-i-was-getting-at-it-was

[alatismeni-theitsa]

introduction to Adonis (ft. Evgenia)

His only connection to Adonis of Greek mythology is the name, as this Adonis’ reflection is something even Freddy Krueger fears. Spyridon-Adonis Georgiadis is the embodiment of an airhead too caught up in the theoretic bullshit of Academia. I am certain the Department of History and Archaeology of the Faculty of Philosophy of the University of Athens has a lot to offer, but this bloke graduated from it with a selective memory.

Before his... ugh.... career in right wing politics he was selling books in a small Greek channel very aggressively but also in a meme-worthy way (2 minutes of this video will convince you, even if you don’t speak Greek). His telemarketing tactics is one of the reasons nobody in the country can take him seriously. The other reasons mainly have to do with his idiocy.

September 2007 was a very sad month in the Greek history, as he was elected a Member of the Greek parliament. Today he is um... the Vice-President of our governing party. *sobs*

He prefers speaking in katharevousa for of Greek (not even my grandparents used it) and advocates the use of the polytonic system for writing the Greek language (this system hasn’t been used in decades).

Some of my Greek followers may be surprised to learn he has a magazine, where the texts are written in the polytonic system. The magazine is called Elliniki Agogi (Greek Upbringing) and, while I haven’t touched it, I bet its contents are only relatable and enjoyable to the ancient slippery stairs leading to the Parthenon.

He has been accused of "troubling remarks about Jews and his public promotion of an anti-Semitic book by a pro-claimed anti-semite". Adonis issued a public apology, which, in his case, I am not sure how much hope can give us.

He tried to be a writer with the historical novel Theodora Phranza: or, the Fall of Constantinople. It turns out he had plagiarized a 19th-century English book by John Mason Neale. As the clown that he is, Adonis said he had never hidden he had adapted a previous work.

Regarding the Athens Polytechnic Uprising, he has claimed that "there was no one dead inside the Polytechnic School, not a single one!” Can we send him back to the University of Athens , please? If they refuse to re-educate him, at least they will chase him around the campus and it will be fun for the rest of us.

Our meme material of a person had also sold some “nanotechnological jackets” with “healing effects”.

These are just SOME of the weird stuff he has done. I don’t want to mention all the bs he has said while in politics cause I don’t want to become more depressed.

One a more serious note - please don’t run away from this post yet! - I am really saddened by his case. He and his wife, Evgenia Manolidou, are an example of how “educated” people can be extremely stupid. Look at Adonis, with so much knowledge of ancient Greece (which, on its own, I can’t condemn) and his tries for wider reach of the ancient Greek language, customs and songs. He still has spread so much misinformation - which can also affect minorities in the country negatively!

Evgenia Manolidou is a classical music composer and conductor. She studied in Juilliard School of New York. She has a classy demeanor, she is EXTREMELY talented and has an in depth knowledge of culture and music. She shares her passion for ancient Greece with Adonis. For example, she has composed songs inspired by ancient Greek myths and the Orphic Hymns. She has worked with big names, wrote tracks for documentaries and even composed tracks for the Beijing Olympics! This paragraph is seriously downplaying her abilities but I don't have much space.

HOWEVER, these last years she has also been a presenter and judge in various Greek TV shows. She first became famous from presenting The Moment of Truth (if you know the show, you know how trashy it is). She is connected to many trashy moments in Greek TV. Plus, she is married to Adonis!

I am looking at their beautiful ancient “Kalanda” video in ancient Greek but I can’t enjoy it as much as I’d like to because the two people producing it are idiots (Evgenia not so much, but still)! Clearly, the couple has things to offer but we must be careful when stumbling upon their work.

To end in a positive tone, here is the Kalanda with ancient Greek, English and Spanish subs. (Link) Greek children sing. It was sang by children in the celebrations for Apollo in the time we now celebrate Christmas. But the lyrics of the song and the circumstances where it was sung remind very much of our modern Kalanda.

[austennerdita2533]

Yes! I had heard about the spin off about their kids it’s on my tbr! Not sure when I’ll get around to it but I’ll get there eventually. But ooh their other series sounds interesting too I’ll put it on my tbr too!! But that’s exactly why I loved Coballoway too (plus I’m also similar to Rose so their love story felt more personal that way)

Yay!! I’m glad the atlas six interested you, I hope you like it when you get to it I’m really loving it so far! I can already tell there is at least one ship I’m going to love it just hits all of my favorite tropes/things I enjoy. But the magic system is so cool and they are all so powerful.

Also glad you want to know about my reading too! I will keep you updated I have some books/series I really want to read but I try to be good and not read more than 2/3 at a time (and not buy anymore till I’m finished). Right now I’m also working through the throne of glass series which might take me awhile but I’m enjoying that too! Right now the books up next on my list are: Ugly Love, The Ravenhood Series, The Hating Game, Zodiac Academy, and Twisted Games (it’s the second book in a series that come out this month I loved Twisted Love by Ana Huang-highly recommend it if you love grumpy/sunshine and brother’s best friend tropes plus the twists were amazing-this one is a different couple but I’m excited!!)

Also! Don’t think I mentioned it yet maybe I did but I also read the Folk Air Series that you recommended! It took me a little while to get into but I ended up really loving it and Jurdan. I loved loved loved Jude and how power hungry she was and how Cardan was just obsessed with her. Their relationship build up was so good too.

All the best!!

-ACOTAR Anon

I keep meaning to get around to the Like Us series myself but I haven't managed it yet. It's been sitting on my tbr (and my Kindle) for a good couple of years now. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I know I'll read it eventually...but when eventually will be is anybody's guess.

(This is a good commentary on my reading life in general, I think. It's impossible to keep up with everything!)

The Atlas Six is pretty fascinating so far! I'm only about 25% into it but the magical world building is unique and I like how the narrative switches between the different POV's. Usually I don't care for more than 3 or 4 alternating perspectives in books because it makes it harder for me to invest in the characters, since I don't have as much time with them, but it works exceedingly well in this one. Helps to preserve the mystery of Atlas early on. And also allows readers to see how different all of the characters are in magical skill, background, personality, etc. I can't wait to see what unfolds!

I'm also currently reading Anxious People by Frederik Backman. I don't know if you've read anything by him before but he's such a good storyteller. Grabs you by the hearstrings. He's funny as hell, too. I've loved everything I've picked up from him so far. He has a knack for crafting beautifully flawed relatable complex characters. And this book is no exception. It might end up being a 5-star read for me, which is rare.

The next books on your to-read list sound fantastic, btw! Some I have read already or have them snuggled on one of my many wishlists. Like the Zodiac Academy and the Ravenhood series. And The Hating Game is one of my contemporary romance obsessions. It's just so enemies-to-lovers charged and fun. That book is packed full of a bunch tropes I adore. I've already read it twice and will likely revisit it again in the future. Thanks for mentioning Ugly Love (I need to get off my butt and read Colleen Hoover) and Twisted Love because those are definitely right up my alley. Grumpy/sunshine is one of my favorite romance tropes. I live for it!

And yayyy! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed The Folk of the Air! It does take a bit to settle into the world of that story, as well as to become engrossed in the characters, but once you do, it's full speed ahead. Jude is such a badass. I love that she's ambitious to the point she's willing to take people out/down to get what she wants. Her fraught relationship with Madoc is fascinating to me as well. And Jurdan is just such a delicious ship. I love it so much. It's true enemies-to-lovers excellence. They have so many quotable lines!

I'm excited because Holly Black has a new adult fantasy series coming out next year, in 2022. It's called Book of Night and the premise sounds cool as hell. I've already been stalking NetGalley in the hopes that I have a chance at first dibs on an ARC lolol.

Also, if you can find self-restraint enough not to buy any more books until you've read most of the ones you have then I salute you! I try oh, so hard to enact this rule upon myself...but it never works. Like ever. 😂

It's my own fault, really. I get daily emails/alerts from Kindle, BookBubs, etc. letting me know about titles that are on sale for less than $5, and when they're that cheap, I can't seem to justify NOT buying a whole hoard of them even though I know they're more than likely to remain unread for a long, loooong time to come. Better than paying full price, though. Right?

If you haven't email subscribed to any of these sites, and you're looking to save some cash on audio or e-books specifically, you should. I'd spend a whole ass fortune on books if I didn't use them. (I check out a lot of books from the library, too.) I dropped the links to some of the ones I use in case you or anyone else who reads this is interested and doesn't know about them:

Book Bubs (you can set preferences/alerts based on your favorite books, genres, authors; you can rate stuff and curate your own wishlist too)

Early Bird Books (I use this one a lot to find classics that are on sale/free)

Book Riot (this site has a lot of book sweepstakes you can enter for a chance to win gift cards to Barnes & Noble, Book Depository etc.)

Kindle Book Deals (there are tons of deals offered daily, weekly monthly; I'm not a Kindle Unlimited member but there's that option, too)

NewInBooks (new releases; has links for Kindle, Apple, Audio, and hardcover)

Anyway take care, sweets, and happy reading! 💜

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #349

“we’ll meet again, when both our cars collide”

When was the last time you had a PopTart? It's been many, many months. Do you like hot chocolate? Well duh. Who made you laugh the hardest today? I haven't really laughed today. Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? Hmph. Would you ever jump into a fire to save your bestfriend? I know I would. Do you have a callus from writing too much? No, I only have calluses on my feet from when I used to walk for hours on end. They just never permanently went away, even with grooming. Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dread to guess what the girl Jason dated after me was told about me. I shouldn't care at all, but I do. I have every reason to accurately be defined as "the crazy ex," and I fucking hate it. Who is your best guy friend? Girt, a friend from high school. Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? I did as a kid, but now I don't. I just kinda stand and eat. What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? I kinda burnt the roof of my mouth on pizza the other night. Do you know anyone with a lip piercing? Me, haha. I know others, too. What did the last tattoo you saw, look like? I don't remember. Have you ever given birth? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Do you enjoy making out? I mean if I'm in the mood to and I love you, yeah. Why exactly do you take surveys? "I genuinely like doing them and they’re great for venting and sorting out thoughts and whatnot. I can just ramble and get things off my chest." <<<< This right here covers it. As well, it's just a boredom killer. And I happen to be bored very, very often. Rockband or Gutair Hero? Both are great, why choose just one? What are you listening to right now? Halocene's cover of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. It's beautiful. What kind of energy drinks do you drink, if any? None, because I just can't do energy drinks. They taste like pure poison to me. Have you ever been swimming in a river? No. Swimming in a river sounds pretty dangerous... Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. When you broke stuff in the house as a child, did you blame it on siblings? I'm hoping you don't mean breaking deliberately, 'cuz I wasn't that kind of kid. But anyway, I don't believe I did. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes. I was obSESSED with those games as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? Tigers, probably. They're so stealthy and, while I may be entirely wrong, seem like the top candidate of the three to attack a human, be it for food or defense. And have you SEEN the muscles on a tiger? Christ. Describe the best use that you’ve found for duct tape: Uh, taping things lmao. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags? I use gift bags, because I can't wrap for shit. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's is really gross to me. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Just giant squid... *shudders* Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? No. I did, however, purchase something on deviantART and never got the product. It was going to be a present for Jason. In dA's defense though, I've bought like... two or three other things from there, and there were zero issues. It's really about the people you trust. If you get a call that says “Unknown”, do you answer it? Nnnnope. Do you have any bobble head figures? No. Have your parents ever left you somewhere without realizing it? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. Did your last kiss mean anything to you? Well yeah, I wouldn't have kissed her otherwise. Would you say that you have a nice smile? No; I've been self-conscious of it since I was a kid, mostly because one of my eyes looks more squinty than the other, but they both are to me. I've always said I look high when I smile lmao. Is there an ex you want to make up with? My mind immediately screams "Jason," but I know that's a horrendous idea. Our last talk ended peacefully and even with care and good wishes, and I need my fucking impenetrable head to accept that's where it needs to end. He does NOT need to re-enter my life. It would be so bad for me. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I have no memory of it, if I'm being honest. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? None. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Really? Whoever reads these lmao. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core and how every student's school experience was not tailored towards their unique goals. Like they try to cram a shitload of identical and usually useless information into a kid's brain to make them a jack of all trades, you could say, but not enough information they need to properly pursue their career future. It causes such an unnecessary amount of frustration and stress. I have many, many complaints about the education system, but this one tops the list. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Back in college, I would just do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Well, considering I'm bisexual... Do you remember life without the internet? No. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've gone my entire life thinking I'm ugly, if I'm being real. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 a fucking hour. :'''''') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? There's a few people. What is your first memory of being in a hospital? Considering my mom worked at the local hospital when I was a kid, I remember being there quite, quite young, playing with my older sister in Mom's and her coworkers' room. I think Nicole was too young to really "play." Do you have any relatives with red hair? No. What is something good that has happened to you in the past week? I got my first Covid vaccine. My arm hurts like a motherfucker now, but to protect my mom, it's worth it. Please get vaccinated. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? That's never been my business. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I would go to a local one if I could actually walk five feet without being in serious pain and sweating like a pig. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? I can't remember, but it was recent, because we all met at Ashley's house for Nicole's birthday celebration. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Pretty much never, given they all lived no less than like, 10 hours (via car) from where we lived. My immediate family are the only people in NC. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Stay out of it, but admittedly try to listen just to know what's going on. Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Yeah. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I survive off of microwaveable freezer food, so this is very hard... uhhhhh... perhaps this Banquet bowl meal that's mac 'n cheese with spicy chicken. It's absolutely delicious, like you'd never guess that sucker was just popped in the microwave. I'd say I eat it a moderate amount; it's a reliable option if Mom's not cooking and I'm really hungry, because it's super filling. Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? I enjoy them, particularly when they're about animals. Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Ha, speak of mac 'n cheese. I love it, and Kraft makes it fine. Do you burn incense? Not as much as I used to. I love the smell and just general vibe, though. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Going to a bar or something. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? In the head, anyway. Is there anything currently bothering you? Multiple things. Would you say that you’ve got something ‘special’ about you? No. Do you like things vampire-related? I don't really have an opinion on vampire stuff. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past? I don't care. Have you ever been to a casino? No. What’s the last thing you wore a costume for besides Halloween related events? Back when I still took dance classes and we had the yearly recital. What does your father do for a living? He's a mailman. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? Haha, I re-downloaded this ollllldddd game I had before, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space (or something like that?) for my niece to play. She's hooked on it now. Are you in any discomfort right now? Yeah; as I mentioned, my arm really hurts. What do you know the most about? Of all things I know, almost certainly meerkats. Are you seeing anyone? No. Have you ever hooked back up with an ex, just for sex? Was it a mistake or no? No. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using a phone in class? No, because I didn't use my phone in class. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? No, which is a fucking crime. I need to see the last one. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty plenty plenty. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Yeah, myself included. If you had to live in an extreme environment — think Sahara, Antarctica, under the sea, on the Moon— where would you want to live? Why? Probably Antarctica. I'm sure it would be unpleasant, being that cold, but I feel there's more you can do about being cold than being in the scalding heat of, say, the Sahara. Living on the moon or in the deep ocean sounds super sucky. How was your day overall? It's been okay. Not as bored as usual, at least. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... zero. I want to say my dad, and I almost do, just... nightmares make that very, very difficult. Plus his past. What does your mom call you? Normally just "Britt." Write a sentence in another language: Oh god, my German is so rusty... uhhhh... Hallo, ich heiße Brittany, und ich bin 25 Jahre alt und wohne in North Carolina. I think I got the grammar right? Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Even if I was comfortable with my body, I would be way too paranoid to at any point have a naked picture on my phone, even if I deleted it. Like, hello blackmail, but also, nothing you delete is ever really gone permanently. What big city do you live near? Raleigh is like an hour away. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? omg YES Is there a Sonic in your area? Yes, it's my favorite fast food joint. You have GOT to try the pretzel twists with cheese dip. Have you ever gone to a thrift store? Yeah, I love 'em. Do you think Johnny Depp is attractive? I do. Are you happy with the state you live in? No, not at all. I hate this place. Bunch of homophobic, racist rednecks. How many times have you seen the opposite sex naked? It's not like I counted every time I saw my ex naked over three and half years lmao. How many times have you seen the same sex naked? A few times. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? I don't use a calendar. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!! :''') I know I can't stop talking about it, but ugh I'm so excited. May 19th, c'mon already. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I used to as a kid. Not so much anymore. Are you in debt right now? For what? Oh god, I don't want to think of this. Would you ever work night crew? I really, really wouldn't want to. Humans are diurnal for a reason. Being awake in constant darkness would depress the fuck outta me, and it'd feel so lonely, with everyone I know asleep. Who was the last person that lied to you, or that you can recall lying to you? What did they lie about? How did you find out they were lying? I don't remember. Has anyone ever called you ugly, straight up, before? How did you react to this? No, not to my face. Who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? MY MOTHER.

[popculturebuffet]

The Color of Friendship Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27): A World of People

Happy Black History Month! Another day, another comission from longtime supporter of the blog Weird Kev and like a good chunk of his-non duck asks, he asked me for something outside my usual wheelhouse. In the past this has meant an episode of the short lived fox show whoops in which we found out how Santa dealt with the end of the world, didn’t know how doors worked, and interacted with some characters so thin you could remake the episode with just Mick Foley in a santa suit and carboard cutouts playing the characters lines and it’d be about the same, and earlier this month Sorry Wrong Meeting, an episode of a sitcom i’d never seen an episode of the Jeffersons about the KKK. So unsuprisingly his big comission for Black History Month was the 2000 Disney Channel Original Movie, The Color of Friendship. 

I couldn’t find much on the making of the film, which dosen’t entirely suprise me as at the time this came out, Disney was releasing around 10 a year and whlie that stopped shortly, it still was a whopping 6 a year for some time, ocasionally more ocasionaly less, slowly dwindling down to the two of year we have now. Though it’s still an ongoing concern and has been since the channel started in 83, closing in on 40 years ago, so it’s still impressive Disney hasn’t just outright phased them out. Then again the popular ones make them a lot of money and some like High School Musical and the Descendants Trilogies have broken out so big they’ve lead to spinoff books, tv series in the latter’s case, and all that stuff making them money hand over fist. So making some cheap movies that MIGHT end up making them rich and usually star people that are already on shows they have or were at one point is a no loose proposition, especially now they add an extra release to the Disney Plus callender twice a year. And while the library has it’s gaps and i’ve griped about them enough.. I will say it’s stil la damn good library and it’s nice to be able to watch a film like this, as the dvd was LONG out of print and likely horribly expensive, and while renting it was an option, it would’ve chipped into what I got commissioned for the film. Still would’ve done it it just would’ve sucked to loose money on the deal, if only two bucks, for something I had no control over. Still would do that over adding it onto the comission fee. Point is stuff that’s not been easy to get for some time is now just a few clicks or taps of the remote away, and having the VAST majority of disney’s long and storied history from theatrical to dcom to weird tv oddities like.. this thing

I don’t know what Fuzzbucket is, and frankly I don’t want to know.. I mean I will for a comission or something but i’m not going to go out of my way to find out what that thing is and if it can give me scabies through a telvision screen despite being fictional and proabably long dead. At least I tell myself it’s long dead so ic an sleep at night without worrying about that thing breaking into my house and watchnig me while I sleep changing “SOON JACOB, SOON”. So yeah while you’ll hear me complain about the gaps in DIsney Plus’ library a lot on this blog. 

I will give credit where it’s due, and what is on there is pretty expansive and now includes the Muppet Show, which I give them full credit for as that probably took a LOT of work and money to make happen. Plus WandaVision is fucking fantastic, especially now i’m finally all caught up. 

But while as I said I couldn’t find much on the making of the film I did find a bit on it’s inspiration: It was inspried by a short story wrtten by Piper Dellums, a writer, poet and activist, and daughter of Ron Dellums. Dellums is a notable congressman who fought against apartheid and constantly fought for a bill to divest from South Africa, something that SHOCKINGLY, Ronald Regan tried to veto because he was a racist disney anamatronic what did you expect, and all in all seemed pretty awesome. He sued Bush SR to try and prevent Desert Storm, in his earliest days in office had an exibit near his phsyical office of vietnam war crimes to try and hold them acountable and in general seems to be a fascenating, hardworking man who constantly and religiously fought for the people and against war. 

The story was a real life account of the Piper’s experince housing a South African Student, Marie, who the Delums Family expected to be black.. but turned out ot be white. During Apartheid, south africas racist as hell and horrifying goverment system of segregation that wasn’t abolished till the 90′s. As expected she was racist, but as a proudct of the horribly racist country she came from and much like with her fictional counterpart in this film, slowly grew to realize how fucked up her homeland was and by the time she went back, became an activist She and Piper were very close but her story ends tragically as eventually Piper stopped hearing from her after she was arrested and despite attempts to talk to her.. it was clear by the silence, and by the fact Piper visited South Africa post-aparthied to help and likely would’ve seen her.. that she was likely quitely killed by the state. But her story thankfully lives on, so join me under the cut to see how a 20 year old disney movie aired during black history month handles this difficult real life story, racisim and the 70′s. 

The Cast: Quick bit about the cast since I usually do this for first episodes of an animated show and wish i’d done so for my other film reviews so far. Though to keep things simple, i’m only doing the main four cast members, especailly since frankly outside of Mahree’s parents the rest are more supporting roles that don’t have a lot of screen time and in hte case of the south african embassy workers, are just there to be racist card board cutout villians.  Piper, who keeps her name from real life is played by Shadia Simmons, who eventually retired from acting to become a High School and Acting Teacher. During her career she was in a bunch of Disney Channel Original Movies, including the first two Zenon Movies, and was in a major role in a bunch of live action childrens shows: I Was A Sizth Grade Alien, Strange Days at Blake Holsely High, and Life with Derek, the only one of which i’ve seen and even then barely so I can’t comment on the rest of her work. Simmons does a decent job in the film, and does shine in the more dramtic scenes, not the best part of it but certainly not bad at all. 

Lindsay Haun plays Mahree, and had more of an acting career after this one, having a small recurring role on True Blood as Hadley, while also directing some smaller films. Haun is easily one of the two highlights of the movie and the best of the two main tween actresses by a mile. More on that in a bit. 

Next we have Carl Fucking Lumbly as Congressman Ron Dellums. Carl has had a long and storied career and the fucking is because of what I best know him from: Playing the Martian Manhunter Jon Jonzz on Justice League. And let me not undersell it: his version of Jon is waht made me LOVE the character, still do to this day, being the first time I encountered any version of Jon and the one I still love the most, a stoic man who tries to adapt to a world he feels he can never be a part of, adding shades to his stitled demeanour to show off his emtitons and in general being the heart and soul of what made this verison work and made me love the character with his performance. He’s done other stuff too including Cagney and Lacey, Doctor Sleepand what have you.. but he’ll always be Jonn to me and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Unsuprisingly he’s the other standout here. 

Finally we have Penny Johnson as Ron’s wife and Piper’s Mother Roscoe,  who played Captain Sisko’s love intrest on Deep Space 9 and was one of the leads on castle. Haven’t seen either of those but she does seem awesome and does a terrific job here. 

Moving on to the film itself.. it’s really fantastic. It has some awkwardness and goofy bollocks as you’d expect from a disney channel original movie in 2000, but it handles a really heavy subject, race relations, gracefully and clearly with the goal of educating an audience with a lot of white kids in it about race. So I can praise what it does right i’m going to be handling the parts that are a bit wobbly first so I can get to the good stuff

Awkwardness and Goofy Bollocks:

First the out and out criticism: The films TV Movie roots show in places, as this film lacks the polish these films would have later this decade, with the film barely having an opening title sequence and just sorta throwing you in, though to their credit it does open with the utterly awesome Back in Love Again, because 70′s. 

That slaps and that’s an undeniable fact. What’s also an undenaible fact is the film dosen’t try the hardest to be very 70′s in it’s sets and what not, though it does do it a little with the clothes and that not being the case with Mahree is intentional, as her family while wealthy is from another culture and one literally and metaphorically behind the times. 

I will also say Shadia Simmons is a decent actress, but is mildly weak in comparison to the other 3 in the leads, but its more the result of putting a pretty standard child sitcom actress up against two experinced actors who know what their doing and one whose about as experinced as her, but simply has a LOT to work with and goes above and beyond. It’s less that she’s bad and more that she’s simply not as good as what’s around her, and in general I tend to go easier on child actors since it’s not an easy job for a grown adult much less a teenager, it’s very pressurey and there’s a reason a LOT of them bottom out as they get older or retire all together. 

I will say though that Piper’s brothers are awful and I feel are only there because she actually had brothers. The actors try, i’m not pinning this on them but writing wise their just two little shits who contirbute ntohing of value to any scene their in, being generally way to young to get into the heavy topic at hand, and mostly being there for unfunny shneanigans. They aren’t in the film too much otherwise they might’ve ruined it for me, but if Shadia struggles a bit agianst sttronge perofrmances imagine who younger actors with the stage direction “Be the bane of my existence” and you’ll MAYBE see the problem. 

The film also loves cheesy time passing montages, including an actual factual shopping montage, easily the goofiest, but it’s something you’d expect from a dcom and helps lighten the mood. That’s a running theme outside the brothers there really isn’t anything too silly.. until the last act.  See in the last act, the film tackles the real life death of Steve Biko, a South African activist against apartheid who was captured by the state and very transparently murdered in jail. with the government claming he killed himself which no one bought because why would they, and it sparked riots worldwide and finally got the US to take Apartheid seriously according to the film. Though as I mentioned earlier Regan did not in case you thought the republican party being terrible and deeply racist was a brand new thing. It was not. Guys like Tucker Carlson and Former President Trump are a symptom, not the disease.. though they certainly look and feel like some form of plauge. Point is Mahree is breifly taken by the embassy.. whose staff who take her feel like the Disney Channel Original Movie form of Nazi’s. The heavy accents, the way they compose themselves... I half expect an elderly indiana jones to show up to whip the piss out of them. And dont’ get me wrong, the only diffrence between these pricks and a nazi is the fact they don’t call themselves nazis, this isn’t a nuanced horrifying racist to be scared of but a saturday morning cartoon version. 

While  white supremacists in real life can be cartoonishly evil, again see trump and carlson, it does kind of undercut the seriousness and nuance of things to have your villians be cold, cackling cutouts who are 5 seconds away from saying “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor take her away” to our heroine, especailly since Mahree’s reaction to being taken away and confusion at everything and at being treated like a prisoner by her own people are very painful and very well acted.   I do get showing them as monsters, because they were, but given Mahree’s father who as a south african police man was DEFINTELY ONE and even outside his racisim doubts and downtalks his own daughter, still feels like an actual person, if not a GOOD person, they could’ve done better and did in the same film. 

But that stuff aside.. I really can’t find much that’s honestly that silly or bad and as you can tell what little I did was more a product of being a tv movie. So now i’ve got the negatives out of the way

This Film Is Pretty Good: It truly is, for a lot of reasons. But the biggest is the nuance. It could’ve been easy to just have Maree as some racist kid needing to learn a lesson who was openly cruel and easy to jeer at.. but the film went iwth the reality: that she was instead an extremley privlaged and insulated girl who simply NEVER knew better. To her her very racist and segregated world is just the way the world worked for her and she dosen’t even consider when the Dellums come to pick her up minus Ron these aren’t servants and her own servant’s words fall on deaf ears, as the poor woman tries to make it clear how miserable her life is and how much she deseprately wants this child to do better. Marhee is never actively malicious even when, due to the shock of her all black host family, she baricades herself in Piper’s room. It’s obnoxious sure and CERTAINLY hurtful and the film makes no bones about it and Piper rightfully calls her out on it. The film dosen’t let her get away with any intetnional racisim like that and after Piper calls her out, she realizes she’s been selifsh and makes a genuine effort. And even then the film makes a good choice in not making it an easy road to realization. Mahree makes a genuine effort in the first place not because of any big revelation or anything, but because she simply hears her dad in her head telling her she’d give up after a week and that, coupled with Piper’s words, makes her see herself as a selfish brat. Even after she’s floored by a mall where black and white people stand side by side aand casually talks about horrors like ID Cards like i’ts a GOOD thing, because that’s what she’s been taught by her dad. That black people are happy being told where they can and can’t go when no they weren’t they simply had no chocie in the matter. And while we do see early on when an asshole at a restraunt assaults a waiter for an accident that Mahree clearly isn’t okay with the more horrifying side of things, she still dosen’t quite grasp WHY that happened, simply that it’s something that does reguarly she dosen’t like. It’s excellently, and unsuprisingly called back when they visit an ice cream place in the states and something similar happens.. but the guy takes it in stride, even ordering a sundae, to Maree’s confusion. 

It’s what makes the film work and all the more striking: As Roscoe makes clear to Ron, whose admant about nto having a racist in the house, this is not her fault. While the film makes it clear Mahree’s behavior at first was not okay and her prejudiece is not okay, it also makes it VERY clear she’s a product of a terrible system and terrible parenting from people who choose to benneift from the system instead of challenge it. She’s only like this because she hasn’t had a reason to ever think diffrent and just took her parents at face value and no mater the country, this is something that sadly happens far too often: Someone hating a group or thinking discrimination is okay because that’s how they were taught and that’s all they’ve known and the only way to change that is to challenge that opinon and try to get them to have some empathy and see the other way and as this film shows it’s a struggle.. and at the end of the day while the Dellums make a concentrated effort, Maree is the one who has to realize what her parents taught her is bad and her country is inherently flawed and NEEDS to change, just like ours did, and STILL badly needs to. 

And that’s where the nuance kicks in as the good congressman is understandable in not wanting a racist in his house... but his wife is equally right that Maree is not some easy symbol of his hatred towards south africa, but a girl who grew up knowing nothing more than the fucked up system, and eventually he comes around, realizing , especially after she apologizes for him even thinking she’d use a racial slur on piper after a very powerful conversation with the two and piper accidently saying she used the South African N Word, almost accidently getting her friend thrown out, that she simply hasn’t been outside her shell and gently guides her to keep reading roots, even letting her take it with her if she wants back home. The film shows the full pain of the situation  but also shows change is posisble. Again it’s not easy, Mahree has a panic attack waiting in an almost all black line in school and it’s shown to be as horrible a thought as it is., but she DOES change and it comes off as real, as someone realizing the system they grew up with is broken and needs to be fixed and she can’t just sit back and let it. 

What makes this happen, besides the aformentioned kidnapping by saturday morning cartoon racists, is Piper confronting her after a friend from south africa forces Piper to acccept that while her and Mahree are friends, Mahree might not seee her as equal and Piper in turn in a heated argument and easily Simmons best performance of the film, that things are broken and wrong and that her “firend”, her nanny/servant back home, is not happy. It leaves Mahree crying and Ron telling her the honest truth: Change was, and again still is but this was 2000 and while we should’ve had this talk disney channel wasn’t ready for it, needed to make things better here.. and tha’ts what south african’s doing> Fighting for equal rights at last. It’s some powerful, heavy as hell stuff you woudln’t expect from a line of movie that also include a robot house, before that was an actual thing, a merMAN dad MerMan, a boy slowly turning into a leprechaun, and at least two diffrent movies centering around wacky kidnappings. It’s a nuanced and hard look at race, as hard as late 90′s jsut turned into the 2000′s disney could get mind, aimed at kids and the film, whiel stilted really has my utter praise. It’s genuinely moving, well acted and teaches a valuable message that while not eveyrone can change.. it dosen’t hurt to try and help them, as well as the equal message that change start with YOU. someone has to WANT to be better and learn and actually let other people in to help them. And I wont’ lie and say this is the most naunced or subtle film.. at time’s it’s about as subtle as a ralph wiggum throught he window

But sometimes you don’t need to be. It also taught kids about apartheid, not me as I barely saw the film, but many learned of something ghoulsih that had barely ended at the time of the film’s release, something I only learned about as a teen via bloom county and a diffrent world, which has an utterly awesome apartheid episode “A World Alike”. Seriously check it out if you have prime, as it shows that america isn’t the only country with a deep history of ingraned racisim. And was it an easy way to have an anti racisim narriative without fully confronting america’s own racist history? Yup. Just.. yup. Can I blame Disney Channel for it when they clearly, while equipped to tackle racisim, weren’t ready to tackle something that dense or heavy, and while Proud Family later would there’s a diffrence between a 20 minute one off episode of a cartoon and 90 minutes of film? Yeah. For what it is and for what the time period is, I applaud this film taking on such a heavy topic with grace. Some goofyiness here and there yes and some lack of subtly.. but still grace. For what it is is, it’s pretty good and i hope to show it to my nieces one day soon. It has i’ts heart in the right place and thus has a place in my heart. See you next rainbow. 

[princesssarcastia]

a veronica mars leverage au, i guess, because what else should i be doing with my life?

*deep sigh*

So I was thinking about the mechanics of a veronica mars leverage au—as in, veronica mars characters in a leverage like set-up, because the leverage setup is the golden standard™ of like, the known universe.

you have veronica mars, mastermind; the rest of the crew being made up of wallace, mac, logan, and weevil.  and mac is obviously the hacker.

but I also think that, in this au, the roles won’t be so clear cut.  the problem is that in veronica mars, all of these characters (except mac, who is an archetype) display different skills from each of the five defined roles in the leverage universe: hitter, hacker, grifter, thief, mastermind. 

veronica is a mastermind, sure, but she also makes killer fake IDs and breaks into systems like hardison does and is a hell of a grifter.

weevil can throw down, and lift things like a thief, and even pull one over on someone in a grifter-like fashion. and as head of the PCHers he has some definitive mastermind tendencies; he knows how to plan a fight, and a con.

wallace is more of a solid dude than a member of the criminal element, but when veronica needs him, he’s played roles like a grifter and pulled off lifts like a thief.

logan has a talent for violence, but also can lie like he breathes and put on shows to convince the best of them.

really i guess they all just have a little grifter in them.

if I had to had to had to give them all definitive leverage archetypes, though, it would be veronica: mastermind, logan: hitter, Weevil: thief, wallace: grifter, and of course, mac: hacker.

veronica is the mastermind because she knows all of them best, knows what they can do; because she’s capable of putting all the moving pieces together into one perfect plan; but also because she’s a control freak with maaaajior trust issues.  there’s no way she could ever let anyone else be in charge.

logan is the hitter because he’s just got that underlying current of violence about him at all times, but also because my absolute favortie scenes of his are when he’s being protective of veronica.  not that end of season three bullshit, mind you, but like the scene in season one when he rescues her from the federal agent, or the scene in season two when he bluffs his way into and out of the irish mob’s territory with an unloaded gun to save veronica.  make him the hitter and we get breathtaking violence from him, sure.  but we also get to see logan at his best: giving a damn about the well-being of others. 

weevil is the thief because this guy is smooth.  he pulled the heist at the carnival brilliantly in s2; and he stole that pen from the Kane household in s1 successfully even though the police arrested him and catalogued everything on his person, including the pen. it’s a bit of a square peg in a round hole, but I feel like he;d have comfortable knowledge of security systems and guard rotations and police jurisdictions.

wallace is the grifter because i’ve noticed that a lot of the times he asks veronica for advice on how to do stuff, its grift-related.  “how do I seduce the fake head cheerleader?” for example.  and he pulls some short term grifts for her, like when he infiltrates the silicon mafia at SD State.  also he’s got the best innate knowledge of who people are and what they’re like.  yeah, veronica can pull people apart, but Wallace is just good with them in a way she isn’t.  and also he’s got the most emotional maturity out of any of these basket cases.

mac is the hacker because she’s god’s gift to computers, duh.

what I really want, though; what any good leverage AU is an excuse to do, is to make a found family out of these losers.  imagine if these five people all...trusted and loved each other, in addition to liking one another??  i’m drooling just thinking about it.

I also think that, ironically enough, being righteous criminals in constant close contact would work wonders for veronica and logan’s relationship, lbr.  if veronica is mastermind-ing their cons, she doesn’t have to wonder what logan—or any of her other friends, for that matter—are doing, and go a little crazy to find out.  it’s an outlet for her control-freak-trust-issues.

aaaand if logan is their hitter/muscle, it’s literally his job to protect everyone, including veronica.  violently, if necessary. 

plus, they can both work out their paranoia on things that aren’t each other—cause it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.

the best episodes always involved Veronica pulling her friends into cons with her; VM the show is already only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away from leverage, anyway!  solving mysteries, sure, but also getting revenge, retrieving items, getting even...providing leverage.

like, seriously.

Veronica and Wallace effortlessly pulling a grift out of their asses when they’re caught in a sticky situation, using that emotional drift comparability in their brOTP.

Mac, getting the respect and cash she deserves for finding information and recovering hard drives and also, giving her righteous side some room to move.

Logan and Weevil sniping at each other, maybe having not-so-faux fights as distractions or part of a con— but having each other’s backs.  playing partners in macho stoicism even though we all know they’re softies sometimes.

Wallace and Mac, standing to the side as exasperated captains of the maturity and stability team while Logan and Veronica share a dumpster fire.

Veronica and Weevil doing that thing, you know, where they’re kind of flirting and kind of pulling one over on their audience and pulling each other out of messes.

Wallace, prince among men, getting to play the handsome and charming credit to his gender he is.  imagine, if you will, him pulling honey-trap cons on marks like sophie deveraux did.  i am and it’s delightful.

the worst part about canon!VM is how much they all (veronica.  largely veronica) tore one another down; betrayed people; didn’t trust them; hurt them; expected the worst and got it in self-fulfilling bullshit.  imagine if all of that went away and then write it for me pleeeaaaseee

i’ve been brainstorming and like, there’s two paths you could go.  one is a complete graft to the leverage fusion, in which they never actually went to high school together but instead are professional criminals who all grew into their own on their own and came together.  in this path, we’d come in on our anti-heroes already in the thick of it—or at least, having deep histories together that allow them to trust one another right away.

the other is like, veronica falls to the “dark side” in high school and drags them all with her, handing out black hats as she goes. perhaps in a world where Aaron Echolls gets acquitted and Duncan Kane does not have an assassin at the ready to avenge his sister outside the law, where Veronica literally can’t sleep at the thought of him out there.  a world where Logan and Weevil have that same insomnia, and Mac and Wallace care about Veronica enough to help. 

and maybe it starts out as just a way to get new evidence so a judge can declare a retrial and get Aaron convicted; but ohhh, Aaron Echolls is not a man who can leave well enough alone.  He’s a rich, powerful, attention seeking mother fucker who likes to taunt logan and veronica about what he did to lily.  so even though it’s not Duncan paying for him to get assassinated, the end result is the same: Aaron dead as a doornail, like he deserves.

Maybe it’s a fake suicide, like Veronica planned out for her criminology course, the literal perfect crime.  Maybe he gets murdered and dumped on Lamb’s doorstep with an audio recording of him confessing—edited by Mac, of course, to make sure Veronica and Logan’s parts in the charade weren’t included.

also i’d like to think that, in this world where they wear black hats to better play white knights, Veronica and Logan have just...the best-worst reputation.  Yeah, they melt around each other, but ho-ly shit they’re still lethal—especially if you put one in danger.   Maybe Logan’s got a reputation as an attack dog, and maybe Veronica’s got a reputation as holding his leash, and maybe they’ve proven they’re willing to do anything to keep each other safe.  Maybe, they made a deal, a long time ago when they started out: Veronica gets to get into anything she wants, whatever crusade is currently pushing her buttons, as long as she brings Logan along to protect her. 

their story is epic, after all.

anyway! In Conclusion, tl;dr, someone please stop me from having veronica mars feelings, and if leverage could please stop being the best found family ever, that would probably help.

[soft-ris]

Hello, Cupid's Pick sounds fun! If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request one for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (I'd prefer Part 5 since I'm most familiar with it, but only if it's okay with you!)

I'm a very open minded person, kind of quiet but I get talkative the more I know you. I'm the chaotic friend who's usually down to do anything with you. You could literally talk about anything (except math), and I would listen to you attentively if you sound excited enough. I do swing from lazy to hyper and energetic. There's very few people I genuinely open up to, but I dearly love them so god help anyone who insults them because I can and will fight them (nothing can stop this 4'11" gremlin!!!). My humor is either dirty innuendos or sarcasm. I am also the kind of person who can cry just cause someone else is crying. For hobbies, I'm very fond of cooking, singing, and playing video games. I absolutely love sweets and I am very much a cat person. I hate bugs with every fiber of my being though, I will definitely run out of the room like my life depends on it. An ideal date would probably be relaxing at home or going somewhere quiet to hang out and talk.

Ahdkakjda wait, I'm so sorry, I got so excited I misread your Cupid's Pick post... if it's alright, could I choose Melone, Ghiaccio, and Risotto as my top 3 picks? (I was the anon who asked for Part 5 of Jojo specifically...)

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Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...

...Melone!

I personally think Melone would only be open to a relationship if he believes the other person is a perfect match for him (and his genes)! And guess what? He believes you are and so does Cupid!

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I'm a very open minded person...

Necessary for their line of job, but definitely a plus for Melone due to his…tendencies and personality and interests. So I feel like he would be very into open minded people (like yourself) because that just means more acceptance and more things to try out ;)

I mean he may brush off or ignore other people’s disgust, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be accepted too uwu so your open mindedness is one of the big reasons you’d catch his heart!

If you have limits, he will push them from time to time, but reign him in and he’ll be more than willing to behave (with a price ;3)

...kind of quiet but I get talkative the more I know you. + You could literally talk about anything (except math), and I would listen to you attentively if you sound excited enough.

Melone strikes me as someone who talks moderately in general (he just talks to himself a lot), but he will talk more to the people he’s close to/comfortable with, and his excitement when he realizes you’re actually listening to him will shoot up and up and up (like his rate of talking).

He knows you tend to zone out when he’s talking about math related stuff, so that won’t come up often with him, but it still will sometimes because he probably thinks your expression is just Di MoLtO~🥴

He also loves collecting data/information on you, so whatever you talk about to him, he’s gonna be typing it down simultaneously!! So not only does he listen, he remembers (and has like 50 sub-folders on the stuff you say lol). This is mainly because he wants a more cohesive file on you. Like I said, he already believes you’re practically the perfect match for him with all the information he has on hand already, but his appetite for more information about you drives him to do this because it’ll just affirm for him that ‘ok wow this person really is my match made in genetic heaven’.

Ghia’s excitement comes in the form of rage and it happens often, so while he loves that you’re listening to him, I think he would almost never show you that he appreciates it. Also, if you’re talkative when he’s stressed or angry, he will yell at you to shut up. Ris would be straight forward (tells you that he’s not in the mood) and Melone would say stuff like “Not now. Later.” (but he doesn’t sound as gruff as Ris).

Ris is the same way with the quiet to talkative thing (in my HC at least), so getting past that initial stage would be hard as hell with him. Imo Melone would be the easiest to get past that stage, and Ghia…depends? If you keep pissing him off though (bc yk…tsundere with anger issues lol), he’ll be the hardest to get to a comfortable stage.

There's very few people I genuinely open up to, but I dearly love them so god help anyone who insults them because I can and will fight them (nothing can stop this 4'11" gremlin!!!).

All of them would appreciate this one way or another, but Melone more so because you’re fighting…for him. Him who’s always touted as gross or perverted or disgusting by the majority. Him who never fights in a confrontational manner because he isn’t comfortable with that and prefers long range tactics (satisfactory but seeing u fight face to face for him just hits different YK?). And it means so much more to him than you’ll ever know.

He’ll also be standing behind you, cheering u on with the biggest smile on his face too :’) also would jeer & taunt ur opponent LOL

I'm the chaotic friend who's usually down to do anything with you.

I HC Ris as having a routine set of things he enjoys doing and it’s on permanent rotation (I’m not saying he won’t go out of his comfort zone, but he knows what he like and if he doesn’t like something, it’s hard to change his mind), whereas with Ghia I HC him as only having 2 interests – cars (more specifically the type of car he drives) and knowing facts (+ disputing and ranting about them). Ris would indulge in some chaos once in a blue moon, but I feel like him & Ghia are set and happy with their current interests.

Melone however would be the most open in terms of what he’s willing to do as long as his safety is guaranteed or if the activity does not involve him getting hurt. Like stealing a yacht or hacking ur annoying neighbour’s computer system LOL

Because you bring that chaos, Melone would be the most fit with you. I know you’re probably like “Huh? Ain’t Ghia chaotic too?”, or “Wouldn’t Ris handle chaoticness the best?”, but chaos (Ghia’s) feeding into chaos (yours) might burn the both of you out, and Ris already deals with chaos 24/7 and he just wants to relax imo. Melone though, looks the most flexible and can probably match up with you the best because of that since he deals with Ghia and the rest on the regular without looking like he’s Tired™️ lol

I do swing from lazy to hyper and energetic.

Like I just mentioned, Melone most likely deals with Ghia’s energy on the regular and he looked chill with the other members too, so he (and Ris as well since yk…he’s the one overseeing everyone in LS) would adapt to your moods the best.

Ghia…I feel like because he has such a short fuse AND is a tsundere (well, at least that’s what I get from his vibe), he would not deal well with your energy if it’s higher up there. He might blow several fuses if the situation and your mood and his mood doesn’t align properly. I also think if he happens on your lazy mood, he would just leave you alone and go do his own thing.

My humor is either dirty innuendos or sarcasm.

Melone is technically a pervert, so when you make dirty innuendos, he’ll absolutely eat it up like a wet ass pussy.

I feel like he definitely prefers that over sarcasm, unless your sarcasm is aimed at someone else (especially if it’s someone he doesn’t like). He’ll probably just ignore you if you’re sarcastic to him lol, but Ghia would absolutely take it too far too quick. Ris enjoys the sarcasm more than the dirty innuendos I feel, but because he’s also your boss, you have to know where the exact boundaries are when y’all are in a professional setting. He’s not quite forgiving if he feels undermined or disrespected. But if Ris is in the mood, he’d dirty innuendo you back, but if he’s not then he’d either brush you off or pretend you didn’t just say that lol. Overall, kinda dry with your humour bc in my head his humour brand is Dry too LOL

I am also the kind of person who can cry just cause someone else is crying.

Ghia would scold you or make you feel like an idiot because of that (he might think it’s a liiiiittle cute, but the chances of him telling you that is like 0.0001% lmao). He’s prideful as hell too so…. But he might also find it annoying or ridiculous (depending on the situation). 0/10

Ris would hand you a tissue and maybe offer his embrace. He thinks it’s a little odd, but it’s not something he would give most of his attention to after you explain it to him. 4/10

Melone would coo at you. Would tease you with it too. He’d also love your tears. Something about you crying…kinda turns him on…maybe. Overall, he’d be the one who doesn’t mind it the most and likes it the most too. 100% wouldn’t make u feel stupid or weird about it, that’s for sure. 8/10

For hobbies, I'm very fond of cooking, singing, and playing video games.

Cooking - Ghia’s taste is Picky, so he won’t eat everything you cook and will 100% complain if it’s something he doesn’t like smh. Ris enjoys the domesticity when you cook with him, but he’s 90% in charge bc he likes certain dishes a certain way. He would also give you constructive criticism like you’re on masterchef or some shit😭😂. Melone would eat it all up. No complaints. On the pan, on the plate, on the cutleries, on your body. Man don’t give a fuck. Put your cum in it too and he’ll gobble that shit up SO quick😭 Overall, would eat anything you give him because he’s chill in that aspect bc I see him as kind of a trash eater? 😂

Singing - Ris would listen and dish out a compliment once in awhile, Melone would verbally appreciate it the most (and also secretly record it and save it amongst the 2k other files he has on your singing lmao), and Ghia in all his tsundere-ness would ask you to can it (he really doesn’t want u to shut up but you don’t actually know that lmao).

Video games - Risotto would never LMAO. If he sees you playing games, he’s just gonna go about his day or even turn around lmao. Ghia probably thinks its childish. Melone would indulge in this hobby of yours the most. Probably buy some for you or even make hentai games just for u💓

I hate bugs with every fiber of my being though, I will definitely run out of the room like my life depends on it.

Ris is the best candidate for this because he would kill it for you, Ghia would walk out, and Melone would scream and run with u LMAO

An ideal date would probably be relaxing at home or going somewhere quiet to hang out and talk.

Melone would try to push you to go out & try different kinds of dates, which is fun in its own, and a good balance for compromise between the two of you. But then again, it’s not like he’s constantly going out lol, so when you go on your ideal dates with him, he’s reminded that intimate quality time like these are so important too (and it secretly becomes his favourite types of dates as well because more time = more info on his lovely baby)

Risotto would match up with this the best, but that would also mean these kinds of dates (chill, lowkey & personal) will make up majority of your dates. And he (imo) is quite fond of chill lowkey routine type dates, so...unless you’re the homebody introverted type, I don’t think Ris would match the best.

Ghia’s ideal date is probably travelling? And 60% involves his car and other cars & 40% involves trivia & debates (whether it’s a game between you two or at a bar against other teams). No other interests LOL

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All in all, Melone x anon 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope you enjoyed this 💜

[kaifinja]

Osirion Pt.1

Okay so I’m finally biting the bullet. I’ve read a lot of  “Humans are space orcs” stuff and finally got to writing my own story down. I am not a writer, and writing in this style is not my forte. Please feel free to ask questions, provide feedback, anything. I can’t fix something if  I’m not aware it needs fixing. Thanks, and here goes nothing.

Part 2

Today was the day. Dr. Kaira Fujioka was waiting in the docking station for The Osirion, the ship she was assigned to by the GalacticFederation as part of their ‘Integrate Deathworlders initiative’. That wasn’t what the Galactic Federation called it but Kai liked her version much better. This was a new adventure, much bigger than any she has gone on before. Due to an extremely high IQ and the advances in off-site educational programs she had become a doctor by the age of 18. Shortly after she became a medic in the United States army. Her crew record states she did two tours in Iraq, but there were no details provided. Kai was apprehensive about this posting. She had agreed to it, but only because it had gotten her off of Earth, and would help her expand her knowledge. She knew the dangers. Multiple representatives within the Galactic Federation warned her about the potential dangers of this posting. 

She would be the only human amongst a completely Gaulda crew. The Osirion was an exploratory ship that often went to the fringes of the known galaxy. Strange encounters were to be expected. These crew members have never met a human socially. All they know of humans is the pirates they encounter, and hear of. It was made clear that Kai should expect this crew to be openly hostile towards her based on knowledge and rumors of deathworlders, and their knowledge of human pirates. If it weren’t for this crews previous experience, it almost could have been expected that they would get along, or at least have little prejudice. After all, the Gaulda is the species most closely related to humans and usually get along with humans the most among the species of the galaxy. 

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The Gaulda have an interesting history. After the destruction of their planet some millennia ago, The Gaulda took to space as their home. For hundreds of years they were a military race, they conquered planets and whole systems for themselves, but that was a long time ago now. Many still call space home, but others have made their homes on planets with coexisting species. . Those who live in space live on ships big enough to be called home. Whole families and generations live aboard the ship, and those old enough find work in an area of the ship that interests them. Members of these ships will often go by one name, and use the name of the ship as a surname when one is needed, though they rarely need it as many do not leave their home. Their militaristic and violent ways have calmed down to a point where they can coexist with others. In fact, it was members of the Gaulda who helped found the Galactic Federation. They were believed to be the most aggressive sentient beings in the galaxy before the humans arrived. The Gaulda originate from a class A-50 death planet. (Generally the rankings Go from A-Z, with a number ranging from 1-50. After A-50 comes B-1.) As far as death worlds go, the Gaulda’s original planet barely classified as a deathworld. It has been many milennea since they have even lived on a deathworld, so it is questioned whether or not their species should still be classified as A-50. Before humans, it was considered impossible for sentient beings to live on a class A planet, other than the ancestors of the Gaulda, who lived on the lowest class of deathworld. Having the humans show up and finding out their planet is A-1 really fucked up the system. Forget sentient life on any A-2 to A-49 deathworld, lets just fucking jump to A-1. But thats Humans for you, Humans just don’t give a shit about the system. There is even talk of reorganizing the classification system because of this, but nothing’s been done yet.

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Even with all the warnings, Kai decided she was going on that ship. The Osirion was considered the most dangerous ship for a human. So the Galactic Federation had to be careful who they would place as the human representative to join the crew. Kai was a perfect fit, as in the only�� human willing to join that crew. The Captain of the Osirion had already been sent her file, and her orders to be assigned to the crew as a medic, but Kai kept a copy of her orders on her holo, just in case. She wasn’t sure how good of an idea it was to have her placed as a medic. Patients needed a certain amount of trust in their doctors, and from what she’d heard, these beings were not going to trust her. Period. It did help that there are similarities in biostructure, but similarities don’t mean identical. Kai had studied manuals on different beings’ anatomy, especially the Gaulda, but practice is a better teacher, even for someone with an eidetic memory. She was hoping that the Chief Medic, and the other medics would eventually get along with her enough to teach her, but she wasn’t holding her breath. 

Kai had learned a lot since she made the journey to the station for the selection process. It had taken 5 months of learning about the Galactic federation and different laws and regulations. Studying medical practices was hard, given the array of different beings, and different techniques, but she learned as much as she could. Now the technology, that was another story. Kai had been creating her own computer systems, and hacking into every known server since she was 7 years old. Learning to properly use, and then hack these new technologies were increasingly fun. The two most important pieces of technology would be the holo, and the universal translator. The holo was like a smartwatch on crack. It was basically a device attached to the wrist that contained a holographic screen. The uses of which were seemingly endless. Galactic internet, video and audio calling, thermal and infrared scanners, and just about any type of technology that you can think of is contained within these holos. Of course there were restrictions, but Kai had jailbroken hers as soon as she got it, and hid all traces of it, she hoped. She figured if no one had found out in the last 5 months, she was probably under the radar. The universal translator is self explanatory. Many beings who live in space or areas with a heavy population of coexisting beings have them implanted, not Kai. She wasn’t sure she would ever get one implanted. Plus, she wanted to see if she could learn the languages. She had already mastered all the learnable Earth languages. Now there were new ones to learn.

[magsrome]

mags , summer before berlin !! || @gallaghertasks​

summary: mags is picked up by her mom, stays with her parents at d.c. for a week and then travels down to new inverness, georgia to see some more family. and sisa. also she goes blonde before berlin.

notes: i just wanted to look up more cow pics and use more blonde paris sjkdf i did this 2 myself!

location: roseville, virginia.

even if she was just a tad bit hangover ( read: a lot ) after the party, mags had to force herself to wake up when her phone started to ring. her mom was on her way - fifteen minutes tops - and mags wasn’t even done packing. so she pushes herself off to take a quick shower and put some undereye masks on, to temporarily remedy what she assumed was a face that had been through hell and back for the past 24 hours. she did her best to put her clothes in one suitcase and one duffel bag she had packed, plus her journals and supplies in her backpack. after finishing her packing and making sure she didn't leave anything behind, she bid isabel ( @oofisabel​​ ) and willow ( @willoww-est​ ) goodbye with tight hugs and tears that she’ll deny, promising to keep in touch before they all see each other again in berlin. as she trudges through sakamoto floor, she heaves a heavy sigh, still not quite believing that her first year at gallagher was truly over. after all the tragedies and the moments she'll never forget in between, it was over just like that. it wasn’t until she had finished putting her bags up in the trunk of her mother’s SUV that mags felt tired once again. perhaps a combination of both the cocktail of emotions she’s feeling and the amount of cocktails and drinks she was able to procure the night before, thanks to ria ( @riaflicke​ ) and she sits in the passenger seat to see her mom lovingly staring at the other students packing it up and roaming around. turning back to her, felicia romero - fbi special agent, former gallagher girl,  and all around badass - raised her sunglasses for a bit with a knowing smile. “good old-fashioned code red, huh?” a wistful sigh. “those were the days.” and as the sunglasses slid back on top of her nose and she turns the car back on. a smirk was the only thing that could tell mags that she wasn’t gonna be sleeping for most of this car ride back to d.c. “so is it like when you went to that new year’s party, hmm?” she tweaked her daughter’s nose, her tone playful. felicia was happy to see her daughter just having a regular life, besides the backdrop of danger and espionage. “bad girl, mags.” location: washington d.c. thankfully by the time they get back to their house, mags’ eyes were not as shot as they were that morning. not to mention the teabags her mother gave her from the earl grey the older woman had in her thermos which surely helped. a splash of perfume and some mints and mags showed almost no sign of having been trashed the night before. her father welcomed them at the door of their home. small and not a barn, but since the romeros returned as special agents, it was enough for them to call home. that week, the three took the opportunity together to walk around d.c. and eat out and just be a regular, normal family. at least during the daytime. during nights, mags became magdalena, the only child and overprotected yet again, and she recounted her year to both of them ( though, only felicia gets to hear the juicy details like the dances and the cutest students she took note of and how to fend off really bad hangovers ). miguel almost wanted to reconsider it, seeing just how close his daughter had been to the many things they’ve heard about, and how sad mags truly was that she had lost someone that she actually knew like amelia. but the two of them knew that the world outside of gallagher was far more ruthless, and protecting her so much could only do her harm, so they recant and they let her rant about some classes that she had that weren’t so nice ( though she passed! ) and celebrated her little victories, like passing the foreign language classes with flying colors. 

even if felicia gets to be the one that knows the more normal, a little wild side of her year, miguel gets to have his talk with her, too. her father pulls her aside one night and the two of them talk. they talk about loss, and they talk about danger. topics that weren’t anything new, but even if they’ve discussed it before, there will always be new things to talk about. amelia’s death, the lockdown, the loss of an artifact, and the realization that someone who you thought was on your side turns out to be against you after all. miguel, ever the pragmatic, tells her the opposite of what the administration has told her all year: to always worry and to never leave it alone. above all, he tells her to follow her instincts. because while the system may seem stable, he didn’t want her to depend on such thing. because as her parents have known, the system won’t always protect you. and while she knows it to be true, it would take a while before it would sink in. not because she’s stubborn, but because there was still a part of her that wanted to cling to the softer things the universe has to offer. she wasn’t quite ready to be as hardy as her father is. location: new inverness, georgia. for the drive down to georgia, miguel accompanies mags. felicia promises to catch up in a few days after finishing up some work-related things. the drive down was full of stories and jokes and playing the license plate game, which was needed after a whole year of mags not being able to be with her parents. it doesn't take that long before miguel confronts her about the same things she shared with her mom - namely, the drinking, the partying, and potentially hooking up with people. especially since they both know she'll be away in berlin in less than a month in almost the same exact situation, with minimal supervision. "it's not that i don't trust you, i do. and i know you know how to handle yourself. but .. you have to know your limits. and trust your instincts. always. if someone seems off, chances are: they are. not judging the book's cover, but feeling it out." she blinks, lips pursed as she waits for judgment or something related. "you're growing up now, and i want you to know that whatever happens, we have your back. do you understand?" wordlessly, she nods her head. "you know, there are people that might take advantage or think that you know less than they do but you don't. in fact, i am confident that you know more than they do. it's why they are threatened, and it's why they'll try and break you." "pa, i'm fine. no one's doing that--" "maybe not now, but they will." he takes a glance at her before looking back ahead, as they drove down the highway. "you have..you have a soft heart, magdalena. your lola rina, she'll tell you this too but I'll tell you now that she means it with love. but you..you are kind. you look at people and you see hope and you have hope. and i know you are smart enough to surround yourself with people that provide it but there are those that will twist what you have and turn it sour." a pause, "and maybe it'll drive you down a path that you didn't see coming, but..what i want to say is, your mom and i will always love you." another pause, before mags squeaked out. "do you think i will?" miguel sighed, "i sure do hope not, but..we like to keep things covered. and so that you won't shun us in the future. we just wanna be part of your life still." as the exit leading into their family land comes into view, mags felt relief. she'd rather get her cheeks pinched by her lola instead of this. location: romero estate, hacienda guinoo @ new inverness, georgia. it was a rather large piece of land, legally known as the romero estate. amongst the actual family members though, and it's known as hacienda guinoo, a name her lolo had picked in memory of a friend. and at the highest balcony of hacienda guinoo stood severina romero, all of ninety years old, a small telescope observing the car ( 'clunky ford truck, hay nako* miguel, get it fixed!' ) as it entered the driveway into their garage. for years, mags and her cousin nikki were always so curious about how lola rina even got the hacienda, besides having her name in the title along with lolo ignacio. because besides this land, they didn't have much wealth to speak of. it was just acre after acre of plants and farm animals, all tended to by lola rina's employees and caretakers. was it a gift? did lolo ignacio kill someone for this land? ( although, that one they wouldn't joke about too much, seeing as he had fought in the war before. he's seen and done things, for sure. ) for the rest of the month, tita maya and cousin nikki comes in to stay with them as well. nikki, almost the same age, had just gotten off her first year studying journalism at stanford university. tita maya was cia, and while nikki wasn't in the business, she had ties, so her ears were open when mags tells of the witsec students and how most of them left with gallagher's secrets. "couldn't be me. i'm too much of a blabbermouth." nikki joked. "excuse me, you have not told anyone of our parents working for the government." mags retorted. nikki waved her off. "yeah, because mom would kill me if i told. that's a spy thing, maggie! i'd tell you but then i'd have to kill you? yeah. cliche." and mags shakes her head, but for a moment, she feels lucky to have nikki to talk to. since the sloanes - her mother's family - weren't all knowledgable about the world of espionage. when she's not with nikki ( or even when she is! ) mags spends time with sisa and tries not to leave her side. after the health scare that brought her back to this place months ago faded away, there was no day that went by that mags didn't worry about her. she tells sisa stories of her year, the good and the bad. nikki listens in, and even though stanford could barely equip her like gallagher could when it came to the deeper stuff, she encourages mags to work out with her on the farm. from helping the caretakers out in the field to taking on chloe ting and cassey ho workouts inside the house. "journalists have to be prepared too, y'know!" before berlin, she keeps in touch with her friends. messaging almost every day, videochatting every now and then. they'd probably have received at least two photos of sisa and the other animals on the farm at some point. maybe a selfie or two with her cousin nikki, as well. nikki teases her about the number of ridiculously attractive people at gallagher as they scroll through mags' phone gallery which was half-filled with slightly blurry shots of people like her friends and just random snapshots from the many opportunities she's had at gallagher and the weekends out at roseville, "lucky bitch. all we have at stanford are some Zuckerberg wannabes. it's a trash heap." and points at some of the photos where some of the upperclassmen were present. "her, i'd date. her too." she declares, half-joking, as she points at willow and ria in snapshots she took during the end-of-the-year dance. she fake-gasped, "don't date my best friends, nix. that is not girl code!" her cousin also helps her out when it came to packing. "can't let lola do this with you. she'll give you like, long-sleeves or something so the boys don't get distracted." mags snorts in response, "she's not like that." "you say that now, i mean, we could always call her in here and--" "no, no, please. you help me. i-it's fine!" and nikki laughs as she places a cute sundress from her own wardrobe into mags' suitcase. "also, nix..can i ask for a favor?" she squeaked, looking at her cousin with a hopeful expression. nikki raised a brow, though she nodded. mags hardly ever asked for favors from her, though the same was not said for herself. "of course. anything." and when time came for her to fly to berlin, her parents, her aunt, nikki, and her grandmother saw her off at the airport. mags was a little scared, naturally, and twirled her now half-blonde hair. to everyone's surprise, it was lola rina who bid her goodbye last, her still deft fingers slipping in something in her pockets. "your greatest weapon is yourself." her lola had muttered in her ear as the two embraced, calmly adding, "mag-iingat ka magdalena. wag ka basta-basta na lang maniniwala sa kung anu-ano.**", which sent chills to her spine. her paternal grandmother was already a chilling woman, but her words didn't do much to alleviate the internal worries she had of going to another country all by herself, even though she'd be under the umbrella supervision of gallagher and the berlin agency that had taken them in. "i will, lola." and off she went, looking forward to a hopefully productive internship at berlin and rooming with max ( @brandtmax​ ) and spending the rest of the summer with friends and colleagues alike !! * "oh my god, miguel." ** "take care of yourself magdalena. don't believe in just about everything."

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

things I need to do soon, or preferably have done already, which is why I’m sitting here at 8 p.m. stuck in a decision crisis unable to do anything:

reply to a potential Etsy buyer about a commission they want to do

reply to a HS classmate’s Facebook comment a couple days ago about the massive difference between the anti-lockdown protests and the BLM protests (she of course figures the difference is that the former didn’t involve looting or rioting and the heavily armed people weren’t being overtly threatening, and I do have several responses for that but it involves...brain and thinking and words)

reply to my cousin from a few more days ago, because she was asking for resources on being more aware of microaggressions and I said I was turning up eight million articles/threads anyway and could share some, and I haven’t

reply to somebody else on Facebook from probably a week ago, who has finally reached the point of conceding that systemic racism might be a thing and agreed to read links when I offered to send some, and I haven’t done that either

write to my union, because I’m not at all happy about their response to the protests (the thumbnail/preview is fine, but if you read the actual statement, it goes more in the direction of “police shouldn’t use unions to do bad things, but that also doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have the right to form unions” like buddy I get what you’re saying but this is not the thing to focus on here)

write to USAA, again, and tell them that as a pretty long-term member I would really like them to stop advertising on Fox or at the very least drop TC because he fucking sucks (and they made similar “black lives matter, we value diversity, etc.” statements as loads of other companies, and he’s heavily against the whole thing, plus he’s been specifically shitting on the “craven” companies making these statements, so like why the fuck would you want to advertise on his show anyway)

call federal legislators, try to say something that isn’t just one long wordless scream

write to mayor, assembly member, state legislators, governor, and idk who else about a) use of police in my state/city and b) hey dipshits look at Georgia can we talk again about how we need statewide vote by mail

paint some more stuff for Etsy because I have at least a couple outstanding orders due soon, plus a few different new samples that really just need a little touchup and then sealant, and they’re all Pride-related so it would be really nice to get more of those up during Pride but also I offered some for Gail Simone’s BLM-support auction thing on Twitter so it would be super cool if I could get my Etsy orders done before I need to do those

post some more recent articles on Facebook in my ongoing and probably fruitless attempts to get certain acquaintances and family members to fucking pay attention

and you might notice that most of these things involve a) getting my brain to produce thoughts and string coherent words together, b) digging through my 50 open tabs for sources and proof and also reading the articles in those tabs and thereby worsening my headaches, or c) both, which means they’re intimidating and kind of difficult and they take too much time and I should have done all of them already but I’m falling further and further behind because I never I somehow never have the time or energy during the evening and I’m tired even though I’m barely fucking doing anything and I can’t think or decide and it’s already 8:15. and I can’t just, like, decide not to do them? because they need to be done and I have some level of responsibility in all of these cases? and a lot of this is literally the least I could be doing and I’m still overwhelmed and whining about how tired and overwhelmed I am? and of course then I barfed out this post instead of actually doing any of it, because I don’t fucking know, maybe I thought it would help prioritize but clearly that didn’t fucking happen. and soon I’ll need to go to bed after having gone yet another day without doing any of these important, urgent things I keep meaning to do. and all I really want to do is say “fuck this it’s time for games” but even more than usual I can’t unless I fucking...do at least some of this stuff.

and my left wrist hurts even more than usual today, and some of my fingers are threatening to have one of their painful little breakouts again for some reason, and when I talk to my therapist on Thursday I’m pretty much going to be like “yeah I’m almost positive there was some specific stuff you asked me to do but I don’t remember what it was and/or I didn’t want to do it because effort, and also I’m kinda just treading water right now instead of really trying to make progress, and my brain is a fucking mess but it’s probably just my fault given that Adderall and Concerta have both done little or nothing for me, sorry for being a disappointing patient but if it makes you feel any better I disgust myself too”

okay, right, this is...not helping. and I still can’t pick one thing to do because that means acknowledging that I can’t do all of it and it’s also like. deliberately choosing not to do the other things? so just running out of time while failing to decide is somehow better because at least then it wasn’t a deliberate choice? brain what the fuck. whatever, I’m gonna do my PT exercises and listen to a little MBMBAM or something and try to get my shit brain to calm down, and then...I don’t know, see if there’s one fucking thing on this list that I can do in 15 minutes or less before I go to bed. because it’s 8:30 now. fuck me.

[littlejeanniebean]

Ep. 3 | The Marauders: Riddle Records

A/N: “Come to the dark side. We have a solo career.” - Tom Riddle Jr., probably. On a lighter note, I can just see them backstage like this by the lovely artist @theimpossiblefifth​. Read on AO3 :) Enjoy! - J xx

One look in your eyes

I can read your mind

 You're naughty, my type

Care for a good time?

You could be just like all your high society friends at high tea

You could get with a football player

But there’s nothing like a shot of adrenaline in the morning

You know you want a dragon slayer

“Like me,” James mouthed seductively to the camera and winked.

“I’m Alice Fortescue, these wonderful lads are The Marauders, thank you for joining us this Saturday Night Live!” the actress grinned widely as the camera backed away.

The boys all gathered around her in a group hug.

“Holy shit! That was incredible!” Obviously, this was Sirius speaking.

“You were wonderful, honey,” a low voice whispered.

A smiling man with sweet eyes and a mop of dark hair put his arms around Alice.

“Oh, everyone, this is my boyfriend, Frank!” the bubbly actress grinned widely, “He’s a photographer for GQ.”

“Sick!” James shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Frank; lovely working with you, Alice; hope you’ll both come to one of our shows sometime, ta-ta!” Sirius practically dragged the band away before anyone could say anything more.

“What was that?” Remus tutted at his boyfriend.

“Yeah, ta-ta?” the bespectacled boy wiggled his nose to adjust his glasses that had gone askew, “Who says that?”

“Not what I meant,” the pale, mousy-haired boy shrugged off his suit jacket in their shared dressing room.

“Look, I’ll explain later!” Sirius pleaded, “Just hurry up and let’s get the hell -”

“Yoo-hoo! Siri!” a warbling, high-pitched voice giggled on the other side of the door, “This is their room here, Tommy...”

“Christ,” the dark-haired boy covered his face with his hands. 

“We’ll deal with Bella,” James set his jaw and turned to the other two, “Ready?”

Remus and Peter rolled up their dress shirt sleeves and nodded.

The trio filed out of the dressing room, forcing Bella Black and her friend backward, and immediately shut the door behind them.

“He doesn’t want to see you or any of your family again, Bella,” said James sternly, giving the show's new cameraman the stink-eye for good measure. 

Bella stuck her tongue out childishly. 

Her guest grimaced and offered his hand to the boys, “I’m sorry about her. She overheard I was interested in speaking with you young talents and… well, it got a bit out of hand. I’m Tom Riddle, of Riddle Records.” 

Really, the man with chiseled features and dark slicked back hair wasn’t much older than they were. But he was dressed more expensively than they could ever be comfortable with, even with the fresh success of their debut album.

“You’re Senior’s kid,” James nodded, his mother being an agent in the industry. He noted just the smallest flinch at the mention of the man's father. “With all due respect, we already have a label.”

“A label that has you locked into a contract as a group,” Tom gave them each his card and presented James with another one for Sirius, “We would pay any fees associated with breaking your current contract, then we would launch your solo careers - James as the pop prince, Sirius as the rock and roll bad boy, Remus as the R&B god, and Peter as the jazz legend!”

“We’re better musicians together,” said Remus.

Tom leaned in, “Your success now, quadrupled. Plus the potential for high-engagement collaborations among you. The freedom to create in your own style on top of that. Imagine it. And give me a call.”

"Ta-ta," Bella blew them each a kiss in a way that could only be described as menacing. When they were out of the boys' earshot she simpered, "You're such a clever businessman, Tommy."

"Don't call me that," he yanked his arm away and pressed his phone to his ear irritably, "I found us some new business and laid the groundwork. Can I have my allowance now?" 

The Marauders flew back to Scotland that night and rehearsed for months until they were ready to drop before flying back to LA for Night One. 

“Nervous?” Sirius whispered while they waited for their opening act, DJ Dedalus Diggle, to finish his set.

“Why would you ask me that?” James huffed, adjusting his bright red tie for the umpteenth time. 

“You need more glitter,” Molly patted his cheekbones lightly with her pointer finger, which was covered in the golden stuff.

“Five minutes, boys!”

“Thanks, Arthur!” Remus spoke for them all.

“We’ve got this, Jimbo!” Peter bounced excitedly on his heels.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been performing at recitals since you were big enough to reach the keys from the bench.”

“The jitters never get old,” his baby-faced friend told him, “but we’re all going out there. And with everything we do together, we always have fun.”

James nodded to himself and made sure to check on their drummer for the tour, “You good, Kingsley?”

The man in a rose-red disco suit twirled the sticks deftly in his hands, “Let’s do this.”

“... and now, Los Angeles,” Diggle hyped the crowd, “give it up… for The Marauders!”

The lights went up and the boys looked out at the incredibly emotional fans who’d come to see them.

“Right,” James whispered, reaching for the microphone with shaking hands, “A-one, two, three.”

I don’t have a lot of time

I’m running for my dear life

Can’t breathe without you by

Aye aye aye

It’s a full house

But I’ll seek you out

It’s a wild crowd

But I’ll seek you out

I don’t know how

But I’ll seek you out

James couldn’t help grinning ear to ear as Sirius broke out into his guitar solo.

Remus pointed out a sign that said, “Marry me, James Potter!”

The lead singer laughed and spoke into his mic, “Well, will you buy me dinner first, at least?” 

The girl promptly fainted.

Arthur was by her side immediately to make sure she was alright.

“Oh, dear, you’ve hit your head,” Molly crouched down beside him and handed the young girl an ice pack.

The red-headed manager got his first good look at the videographer and her multi-pocketed fishing vest and cargo pants.

She noticed him staring, “I’ve known these boys a long time. You never know what you’re going to need.”

“Good advice,” he helped her and the fan back up in one go, “I’m Arthur.”

“Molly,” she grinned, hoisting her camera back onto her capable shoulders and focused back in on James.

Under your spell, I like how you play it

Keeping it cool is so overrated

Waiting on you, every breath bated

Hey hey hey

They played LA two more nights before moving on to San Francisco. Then Vegas, then Seattle, and across the rest of the continent, all the way to New York.

“Madison Square Garden,” James swallowed, taking in the iconic jumbotron above their heads and the entire stadium, really.

Just three hours later, he was up on that very stage, sweat trickling down his back and the bridge of his nose as he sang his heart out about a funny story the designer, Lily Evans once related about her sister via Instagram post.

There’s a little house on Privet Drive

Where nothing ever happens

Little curtain twitcher of a wife

And a little boy and husband

But when they leave for their nine to five

And the little boy goes to school

The little old lady with cats ninety-nine

Does what she wills to do

Living next to ordinary no. 4

So much to do, so much to explore

The grocer down the street from me

His daughter left for university

And he needs the comfort of my tabbies

Yessiree, that’s what I’m here for

Your neighbour next to ordinary no. 4

After that, they went all over South America. The streets were typically too narrow to drive a tour bus around, so they often jetted from one country to another and rented a little convoy of minivans to take them to the arenas from their hotels and back.

“Shit, Petey’s got food poisoning!” Remus fussed over the poor boy.

“I’m fine! Really!” the blond insisted before doubling over and retching once more.

“I can fill in,” DJ Diggle adjusted his signature flat cap, “I have all your songs pre-recorded -”

“We have half an hour to get it out of his system!” Sirius declared determinedly, “We’re not going on without you, Pete!”

“I’ve got the doctor!” Arthur came in, followed closely by a middle-aged woman with apple cheeks and curly hair.

“You need to replace your fluids,” Molly handed Peter a bottle of electrolytes.

“Yeah, it’s a common bacterial infection going around among tourists,” said the doctor, giving him a dose of antibiotics, “He’s not in any shape to perform, you lot, so you might as well let him rest.”

“I can - oh,” Peter ran to the bathroom.

“How soon can you give him another dose of that?” Sirius asked anxiously.

“Not any time in the next half hour,” she narrowed her eyes at him, apparently having overheard his earlier proclamation.

“Poppy’s right,” said Arthur, “Peter’s health comes first. Dedalus, isolate the keyboards in every track and queue the set list.”

“Try to keep in time,” Sirius added.

“No improvising for tonight, lads,” Arthur warned the regular band members.

“But -” 

“I’m serious.”

“And so am I!” he could only maintain a straight face for two and a half seconds after he said this.

James sighed as they waited for the DJ to introduce them half an hour later, “It’s not going to be the same without Peter.”

“We’ll make the best of it, Jimbo,” Remus assured him, “and he’ll be back with us for the next one.”

The frontman set his jaw, pushed his glasses up his face and pulled the microphone to his lips.

Do you remember

The games we used to play

Mermaids underwater

Aliens in outer space

Do you remember

The sticks we’d raise aloft

We called them swords and never

Lost the battles that we fought

Peter was back on stage the next night, to much celebration and all too soon, they flew back across the pond for their European leg. Of course, their first stop was Scotland.

“It’s so good to be home,” James sighed happily, pausing to wipe his glasses on the hem of his shirt and winking at a girl who lost it at the sight of his abdomen, “This is our last song. Please join in if you know the words. Or make them up. Just have a good time. Be as loud as you want to. We love you all, thank you for everything you’ve done for us. We’re the luckiest boys in the world.”

Is there a risk to it?

Is it a challenge?

If there isn’t, if it isn’t, I don’t want it

Yeah, I wanna do some damage

I feel lucky tonight

I got you by my side

Seven days in a week

And you spend them with me

So hell yeah, I feel lucky

"That sounds really good, Pete," said James from where he lay on the floor of their stage after the arena emptied, "We could use that."

Peter chuckled, "It's Chopin. A waltz."

James ambles over and his friend makes room for him on the bench.

"It's a split C chord, then F, A flat..." he guides him through the song. It's out of time and messy, but they're having fun. "James…"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"What are we going to do about Tom Riddle's offer? I mean, his dad’s label practically owns half the music industry. And Castle is just this little independent… He could make our lives more difficult than he already has." 

"Unless we join him, you're thinking?" 

"We could ask Arthur to negotiate a group contract just the same. I doubt they'll dislike the idea of paying less upfront."

"But what about loyalty to everyone at Castle? McGonagall? Urquart?" James shook his head, "We're having a successful tour in spite of the ticket bots Riddle set on us. We're looking out into seas of fans all wearing our merch in spite of his shipment hijacking. And we're having bloody good time because we're not letting any of the homophobic slander he's fueled the press with get to us."

"Here, here!" cheered Sirius, clinking his beer bottle with his boyfriend's.

"Right, rest up, lads! You deserve it with all the work you put into this show," James stood and ambled back to the tour bus, where Shacklebolt was already sleeping soundly, being the earliest riser of them all.

“Goodnight, all!” Peter loved his friends, truly. But he was convinced their stubborn sense of the meaning of courage would do them a great disservice.

As always when confronted with a decision to make, he visited the only jazz bar in Scotland, the Leaky Kettle. Immediately upon stepping inside, he let the smooth piano carry away the stress. 

“The usual,” he told the bartender.

“Put it on my tab,” Tom Riddle swivelled around on the bar stool, "Fancy meeting you here."

"You mean you didn't expect to? Didn't plan it?" Peter received his drink with barely more than a sideways glance at their adversary.

"It's just business, Peter. I know you understand that."

"Then why go through all this trouble for one act? There must be thousands - hundreds of thousands - of talented artists who could make you rich."

Tom rolled his eyes, "My father was always… a bit single-minded. He wants to put me through my paces before handing me the keys to the kingdom, so to speak. But don’t worry about that. Just know this: I think your group is talented and I can see that you’re the musical glue holding it all together. You’re the only one with any formal training, after all. And I really can see to your career’s longevity. If you stick with this boyband too long, though…” 

Peter raised his eyebrows, “Then what?”

“Well,” the label executive leaned in, “then you’ll need to think about what that does to your image as a real, serious musician.”

The blond boy finished his drink. 

“Another one for my friend,” Tom told the bartender, took his jacket, and left.

His calling card sat heavy in the keyboardist’s wallet.