#please just leave everyone the fuck alone
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after midnight - chappell roan
pairing: singer/producer lee heeseung x singer reader "y/n" x singer sim jaeyun
warnings: profanity, suggestive, kissing, heeseung is thirsty, overall 18+ - also this is partially written so please make sure to read the written part so it all makes sense
wc: 954
ignore the time stamps and any possible typos lol
heeseung approaches y/n as she’s mingling with jake and his friends. her smile fading after he taps her shoulder and he comes into view. “can i steal her for a bit?” heeseung asks jake as if jake was the person in charge of you. a recurring behavior heeseung where he felt the need to always show ownership and possession of you when you were dating, rarely ever considering how you felt or how it would affect you.
jake shakes his head and lets you go with heeseung even if you don't want to. heeseung grabs your wrist after failing to hold your hand, dragging you to a part of the venue where you weren’t necessarily seen by a lot of people. “what do you want heeseung? i’m trying to enjoy the party…” you say with a sigh and he tries to reel you in by showing you his big doe eyes and even though it slightly made your heart flutter, you chose to stand on business.
“look, i know i fucked up but just give me one more chance to treat you right.” heeseung says but slows down as the sentence progresses when you just so happen to say the same exact things as him. this was the sentence he had pulled on you in the past and quite frankly, it worked a few times but not this time.
“you didn’t even wanna try a new script to get me back?” you ask coldly and heeseung drops his face like he has been caught. “okay, i just don’t know what to say. i miss you and i know i was a fucking ass but i just can’t stand being without you.” heeseung says and you just watch him, waiting because you know he was eventually going to tell on himself. he had that habit, when heeseung was drunk and he began to ramble at you, if you just stared at him his silent pauses would be filled with more rambling because he wanted to avoid the awkward silence. so he’d fill it with more talking and eventually confess something he didn’t mean to.
“and i don’t know. that sond i made was mean i admit that but did you have to do a collab with jake of all people? you know how much i liked his music and it felt like a low blow.” there it is…
“ha! i knew it! you’re jealous, i can’t believe this is what this is actually about. do you even want me back or are you just threatened with the idea that someone else wants me and that i’m no longer yours?” you ask, anger in your voice and heeseung doesn’t know what to say.
“heeseung, i mean this in the nicest way possible, leave me alone.” you say and although heeseung was expecting something a bit harsher, your tired demeanor and offset to his advances hurt more than your words.
you walk away before heeseung could say another but you don’t rejoin jake and his friends, choosing to find a spot you could be alone for a few minutes.
you turn around to hide yourself from jake as he approaches, half embarrassed that he has to see you like this and the other feeling guilty as you’re bringing down the vibe of his own party.
“you okay, pretty?” jake asks as he pushes open the door to the balcony. the cold air whipping past him as he takes the spot next to you. clearing your throat, “yeah, i’m okay. sorry i don’t wanna be a downer on your birthday.” you say, trying to avoid eye contact but jake softly grabs your chin to make eye contact with you.
“can i be honest..? i wasn’t really feeling the party either.” jake says with a chuckle and he gets a laugh out of you at the same time, smiling even bigger when he hears your laugh that he finds so pretty.
“wanna get out of here?” he asks and as much as you wanted to, you felt bad. “jake, this is your party, you should be here.” you say to him and jake just rolls his eyes with a pout. “nah, everyone in there is probably too drunk to even notice.” he reassures you and for a moment you’re just looking at each other. jake’s eyes are fishing for the small glint in your eyes that tells him you want this as much as he does, and indeed you do.
you take his hand in yours and drag him back inside, past the party, and into the elevator. “where you taking me, huh?” jake says, teasingly and you roll your eyes at him playfully as you drag jake to your car.
the drive back to your place is filled with laughter and singing random songs with jake. he couldn’t believe this was finally, his crush on you was finally progressing to something more. his eyes widened at the sight of your apartment, a high rise but humble home that screamed your style. cute figures and stuffed animals scattered throughout the home and empty cans of energy drinks on your kitchen counter.
jake is taken out of his thoughts when you slam the door behind him and you grab him by the collar. “do you think i’m pretty?” you ask even though you already know that answer to it. jake nods, desperation in his eyes as he looks down at your lips.
“do you wanna kiss me, jakey?” you ask and he nods eagerly, answering faster than the first time. you don’t even get a chance to lean closer to jake before he crashes his lips onto yours. a moment he had been waiting for.
masterlist - back - next
hoonieyun notes: trouble in paradise for heeseung means smooth sailing for jake! what do we think jake and yn are going to do once they get to yn's place? do a puzzle? coloring book? bake cookies?
also please answer the little poll, the result doesn't affect the story but i'd love to see yalls input
copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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#now playing...#en-diaries#enhypen#kpop au#kpop#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#enha#fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen smau#enha au#enha smau#enhypen fake texts#enha fake texts#enhypen texts#enha texts#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#jake x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen heeseung#lee heeseung#heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen jaeyun#sim jaeyun#jake sim#enha imagines
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And you should probably give your therapist a call.
You are correct. You’re not rude. Anymore. You’re cruel and fucked up. I know the people who know you in real life are afraid of saying no to you. First you ignored clear set boundaries (which actually is rude, so congrats on that, genius), and now you’re wishing violent things on a stranger who doesn’t feel like putting up with your bullshit.
By the way, internet harassment like this is illegal in the US. Thank you for giving me evidence to show to police if the need ever arises.
#ask#harassment#please just leave everyone the fuck alone#like the work you put in to do this is ridiculous#go write your karim/janai fics like you so clearly want#and leave everyone else alone#you picked a random stranger to harass#i literally have zero interest in karim#so why you decided to latch onto me#makes no fucking sense#i’m sick of this
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Lucifer gulped and pulled at his collar: Uh... y-you don't think you'd want to come over-?
Charlie: Dad. Now.
Lucifer: Yes. Yes, right... Adam... well, you see. A few months ago, we met for our annual meeting, and it was going great! Wonderful! Amazing-!
Charlie: Dad.
Lucifer: Oops. Sorry, hun. I-I didn't mean to keep Adam. I just... didn't want him taking Avery away- I lost him once, I failed you, I couldn't fail her... I couldn't let her go.
Lucifer felt himself tear up, knowing that his daughter was gone, he didn't even get to say goodbye. To her or Adam.
Charlie: D-Daughter? She's... how?
Lucifer: A few months ago, I saw Adam at a bar we went to. H-He was fucking around! Blending in! I... I wanted to fuck with him- so I spent some time with him, got him drunk- but I had such a good time, Charlie... even though he knew it was me, he was... kind and funny. I really enjoyed my time with him... it almost felt like there was no bad blood between us. Then he said he wanted to go home with me. So, that's where we went. And I'm sure you can guess the rest...
Charlie was silent for a moment: I thought Adam was a man- how? How did you-?
Lucifer: I may be the Devil, but I used to be an angel. And angels cause the human male body to... do some weird things. I knew there could have been a chance- but I thought it could be funny! He was such as asshole to your mother! And who knows what he was like eith Eve-! She had over nine hundred kids, Charlie! I-I thought it would be funny...
Charlie sighed: It's not funny, dad. He's a man. He's not meant to have children. That's not what he was made for.
Lucifer: I know... I know. I didn't think anything came of it! I never saw him, not until our last meeting. I could barely tell anything had changed- his robe is so... robey. B-But he... he just- looked so uncomfortable and looked in pain at times. When he went to leave- he curled over! He nearly collapsed, Charlie! Then he told me... we went to Sloth- and... she's beautiful, Charlie. She looks like him. Like his twin. She's just... gorgeous. Like you. I could see you in her. In her eyes.
Lucifer covered his mouth, feeling tears come to his eyes. He knew he wasn't the best father. He didn't know what to do if she kept crying or wouldn't eat or sleep, but he loved her so much.
Charlie: Oh, dad... I'm so sorry.
Lucifer: I-It's okay, Charlie. She's holy... I don't know how, but she is. She can go to Heaven. And... and that's where she belongs. To be safe. To be loved. She deserves blue skies and clean are... not... this. You deserve it too, Char. So much. I hate that you had to live through exterminations. I hate that you had to deal with my horrible relationship with your mother. I-I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I didn't do right by you! I failed you- and now I'm failing her!
Charlie: Dad- breathe. You didn't fail me. You've been so wonderful to me. And I know you love me, I can feel it.
Charlie looked at Vaggie, who was looking concerned. She definitely wasn't happy about learning that Adam was in Hell.
She wiped her eye as she heard Lucifer cry.
Charlie: Dad- dad, I'm coming over. Just me, okay?
Lucifer: ...p-please Charlie. Please come over, I-I need you.
Charlie quickly started packing some things into a bag.
Charlie: I'm coming, dad. I'll even pick up those little pastries you like, okay?
Lucifer: Okay Charlie- thank you.
Charlie: You're welcome. Okay, I'll see you soon. I love you, dad. So much.
Lucifer: I-I love you, Charlie. And I'm so sorry for everything.
Charlie: Don't be sorry, dad. We've moved on from those years- you've more than made it up to me.
Lucifer broke down after Charlie hung up. He missed his Avery so much. He missed both of his daughters. He even missed Adam.
He hates being alone again. Somehow, he always ended up alone. He tries so hard, with everyone, but they always leave.
Is this how Adam felt in Eden?
That made Lucifer feel even worse. He ruined his best friend. The loneliness changed him for the worse, and Lucifer could feel it changing him, too.
What about an au where Adam goes to Hell for night trips, wher ehe just parties and fucks. He has a disguise (it's just a slightly different looking helmet).
Lucifer joins his daughter and her friends at a bar, where he sees "Adam". He instantly knows it's him, but he's curious as to what he's doing.
So Lucifer spends hours flitting with him and buying him drinks to get him drunk. But Lucifer actually finds himself having a great time.
Long story short- they fuck, Adam doesn't let Lucifer know he's Adam. He goes back to Heaven and after a few months, he finds out he's pregnant.
Which is fucking weird cause he's definitely a dude, and he's very dead. But Lucifer's the Devil 🤷.
He basically has to play it off as him getting fat. It's working until the next meeting with Lucifer happens during his ninth month, and he's goes into labor right in front of Lucifer.
Lucifer: Why didn't you tell me your were fucking pregnant!?
Adam: Because you didn't know it was me!!
Lucifer: Yes I did! You have the same face!
Adam: ..... Oh..
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Some instances that I feel show how some messages in MHA are detrimental, especially on how victims react to their abuser, can be gauged by responses that tend to be highly prevalent in the fandom.
(Definitely not every fan, but a great majority).
Endeavor is a great example. Whenever you post criticizing his approach to atonement (and ultimately criticizing Horikoshi’s writing), you get BOMBARDED by people either belittling you for not liking his character or essentially forcing you to like his character by frantically writing “at least he tried” arguments.
If I have the CHOICE whether to forgive his character or not, especially given he goes through an atonement arc and not a redemption arc, why is any form of criticism about his abusive behavior and essentially his abuse of power practically ignored by the story unacceptable?
The message was detrimental because people operate on the notion that for victims to be good people, they must forgive and even help their abusers. MHA presents people who choose not to forgive him as either a monster (Toya) or inconvenient (Natsuo). And if they are still unforgiving, they must admire the abuser for doing the bare minimum (taking responsibility; this is also about Natsuo).
Essentially, they are considered "imperfect victims" because they weren't merciful in their approach to their abuser.
The majority of the fandom tends to ignore the lack of actual consequences for Endeavor's actions because he vows to talk to Toya every day. Insisting that doing the bare minimum, which is recognizing his son's existence and suffering, became his "hell" is a wildly fucked up message, in my opinion.
It harps on the issue mentioned above that if a victim isn't receptive to forgiveness or doesn't act "demure," they are seen as an inconvenience—which is how the Todoroki family ultimately views Toya.
On a less critical note, I'll vent, so if you don't like this, just ignore it.
I'm so fucking tired of stories depicting imperfect victims as people who deserve death and torture. Plus, having to be on the brunt of so many people acting like you're morally fucked because you're not impressed with how a writer handled abuse. Horikoshi is not the first writer to try to atone a character who is an abuser (and he isn't the first to fail at that, either).
I'm not about to dick-ride every decision every author makes. Especially if the message convinces some audience members that victims are inherently broken if they can't bring themselves to forgive and/or admire someone who hurt them.
#me: no systematic consequences for Enji's abuse is frustrating#some MHA fans: well what the fuck is he supposed to do then? die?#me: ... why does everyone in this fandom believe dying is the solution for every crime?#MHA: twice's death is justified toga's death is justified tenko's death is justified people the HPSC killed aren't brought up again#me: oh yeah lol#the experiences I had with the MHA fandom on TikTok so far have been the most toxic interactions I've ever had in fandom#like I used to think the bad rep was just normies being introduced to fandom for the first time#but no#people were right :v#if you like Enji and you're triggered by this#please leave me alone#also please don't try to convince me the end was good or that the story is good#I'm legit so tired of having to deal with that#each to their own#mha critical#bnha critical#anti enji todoroki#anti endeavor#todoroki family#todoroki touya#touya todoroki#todoroki shouto#shouto todoroki#todoroki natsuo#natsuo todoroki#RIP natsuo#you had some rebellion in you#he had to have a little bit of boot-licking by the end#the poor thing
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“travis was problematic”
ok well your faves literally gang raped him, was that not “problematic” ???
#say what you will about travis but at least hes not a fucking rapist#literally everyone on that fucking show is problematic#if you want perfect 100% morally pure always likable characters you are watching the wrong show#go watch heartstopper instead#obviously im not saying you have to love him or hate the others#they were all tripping out of their minds#but let’s not just ignore the fact that they sexually assaulted him please#leave my poor boygirl alone#yellowjackets#travis martinez#travis yellowjackets#travnat#yellowjackets season 2#yellowjackets s2#yjackets#yellowjackets showtime#doomcoming#travis defender#yj
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✧ The Ardal stars ✧
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#digital drawing#dnd#dungeons and dragons#homebrew#original art#my art#my ocs#Setting: Heim#I drew these a couple of years ago now i think#but since i'm drawing stuff for this setting again i'm reuploading with updated information cause the last one is outdated#I will say right off the bat however#If you compare my designs to already existing IPs i will block you on sight#the last time i posted these they got compared to a piece of media i really dislike#and that comment alone made me fall out of love with this setting for almost two years#so please. do not. it's rude and unnecessary#These are the artefacts my setting and its story is largely centered around#Tethry is credited with creating them (Even though he didn't)#They were gifted by Tethry to each of the largest cities in the world to serve as power generators supplying arcane power to the whole city#immediately pushing the four sister cities into prosperity and progress. leaving literally everyone else in the dust#which caused some understandable tension between countries that already had a bit of a strained relationship to begin with#There is SO MUCH to these little trinkets and their link to Tethry and how finding them essentially fucked up his whole entire life#You'd think becoming the world's most renowned arcanist would be the best thing that ever happened to an aspiring caster#but to some poor dude just trying to study arcane language. stumbling across the magical equivalent of the demon core#was very much not on his wishlist#especially not dealing with the consequences of trying to make sure no one actually realises how nasty they have the potential to be#which. someone inevitably does
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its actually so crazy how the writing team was like “lets make grief and loss important themes for alisaie as a character” so in BCOB she learns about making peace with her grandfather’s death to live life on her own terms, for her own sake. she goes out herself to explore eorzea. and then emery dies while shes powerless to do anything about it. and then she almost dies believing that urianger was going to betray her and the scions. and then she watches the same tower her brother was supposed to be in get bombed not knowing if he escaped in time. and then she watches the people she loves be picked off one by one, physically present but spiritually gone, while being powerless to help them. and then she loses contact with alphinaud (again) not knowing if he’s okay. if he’s safe. and then the next time she sees him immediately its his limp body being carried by a stranger. and then she begs the warrior of light to not leave her alone. and then she watches tesleen die powerless to do anything about it. and then she watches the warrior of light nearly succumb to becoming a sin-eater, risking dooming not only the fate of the first, but the source. and then she finds the cold bodies of licinia and her sister, ultimately more victims of their despair than anything else, people who she’d been trying to help. and then s
#why do they keep DOING THIS TO HER#does anyone else obsessively think about this or am i just fucking crazy#her begging the wol to not leave her alone and then later on in ew again going to the wol and being like#'so hey things are crazy right now but please dont do some stupid self-sacrifice thing'#like basically 'dont kill yourself. stay alive please'#i just think a lot about how like#not in an infantilizing way#but the twins start the story at 16#and are like 17-18 throughout the end#id say shb/ew#and its like. Wow you guys really are going through it huh#to be fair im also the same age learning that this is just what being 16-17-18 is like#but . jesus#NOT TO UNDERMINE ALPHINAUD EITHER#its just crazy how both of the twins are like#so committed to their goals and their ideals#and they keep being like kicked down#and in alisaies case shes like No fuck off I love everyone#and alphinaud is also like beat with the trauma stick 26787422 times#but is like 'that sucked but i still believe the world has a lot of good in it'#like FUCK YES LITTLE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS#ffxiv#endwalker spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#idk what else to spoiler tag uhm#stormblood spoilers#in case anyone needs that. i guess
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the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything
kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend
#i’m so glad i saw this now and not when i was deranged at 2AM last night (i say as if i am not currently deranged)#like i had to physically pause. stop watching the video. to take notes to tell you guys about it i hope you know#holyjost thank u i love u i appreciate u & how u always have the sources 😭#i send out a prayer to the universe (put shit in the tags) & u provide#liv in the replies#holyjost#i love this reaction image btw it is one of my FAVORITES#anyway i was just chilling and then lost it at the ‘brandon just says shit’ part and had to start writing down notes (as follows)#there is SO much. the lore. the fact that brandon lasts two seconds before his shirt comes off everyone else is so bundled#dewey2 immediate “sharks” girl help the two of them on the bean bag together#the boat competition BOLDY’S CONTRACT??? yeah i AM thinking about that in a weird way what kind of contract brandon#also boldy motion sickness girlie he’s so real for that one 😭😭#and brandon talking a big game and then like fuckin. curled into a ball on the beanbag passed out bro i cannot.#LD BONITA? LD BONITA FISH??? So excitedly???? my GOD.#LEAVE THAT POOR FISH ALONE!!!!#oh the shark lore 🥺 dewey baby let me take you to this fantastic thing called an aquarium.#you can pet sharks there!!! i can’t even. i know i’ve seen it and had a breakdown about it before but connor’s hand when he pets the shark#the absolute joy oh my god. connor PLEASE ik u want to touch all the fish… we have sturgeon & sting rays & jellies#brandon praising connor’s attitude 🫡 he is so goal oriented they said the goal is a vibe check and connor studied.#also. save me hot brothers save me#what the fuck is this yeti cup ritual give me a cult au NOW wkdndiwkdi they’re such freaks. i love it. also just drink it bro#VLADDY MENTION THAT’S MY BOY HI BEAUTIFULLLLL#OH THIS WAS THE MIDDSY FIGHT???#awww Freddy (who i never think is a forward??)#connor dewar#brandon duhaime#minnesota wild#for reference!
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Woah, slow down babe!
#dmc#devil may cry#mudposting#mud art#I got lazy halfway thru this I don’t care anymore#thog dont caare#I feel like the only guy alive who doesn’t want a remake of this game I don’t want a remake of any game. everyone leave them alone#unless it’s a dmc2 remake because we need context for that game please anything#I need to see HD agonof inis#plus its an excuse to basically just make a new game#what was I going to tag this with. fuck idk#Dante dmc
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why are all the dreamies mad fine now cause what ugh stop STOP IT STOP BIAS WRECKING STOP
#ITS FMINEGHDHS HAECHAN#after saving 20 haechan edits for my friend who’s bias is haechan….#I CANT DEAL WITH ALL SEVEN OF YOU LEAVE ME TF ALONE 😭😭😭#PLEASE FIRST IT WAS JUST CHENLE AND JAEMIN#THEN RENJUN AND JISUNG CAME ALONG#AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE#FUCK ME WHABSHSGHABAUEGSHHSHSHS IM GONNNAAAAAAA KMS (keep myself safe)#rants n rambles#nct#nct dream
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why didn't anyone make a destiel meme about spn possibly coming back i can't believe i had to find out about this the normal way
#destiel#spn#supernatural#also dear god why won't you let this show DIE?#it's almost funny that the characters that kept being brought back to life against their will#are part of a show that keeps coming back to life against everyone's will#did you read that?? ALMOST#listen i love spn so much i grew up with this show it is so special to me and recently i've been getting full on obsessed with it again#BUT IT'S OVER LET IT DIE#the ending was absolute shit so just leave it as it is#stop trying to add on to it “the winchesters” made it clear that it doesn't work#just please leave spn alone you guys have fucked it over again and again after season six just let it REST#that said yes i will at least try to watch if it does come back#but i couldn't get through the first few minutes of “the winchesters” so possibly the same thing will happen again
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..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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the vegans found my stupid post again
#a person commented: 'not everyone can eat plant based but everyone can be vegan' im...#im seriously trying SO. so hard to give this person the benefit of the doubt but. WHAT#lately ive working on fungi based alternatives for food but even THEN most of it is using food to ferment plants and algae#to get the most of it you know?#but like WHAT ELSE ARE WE GOING TO EAT#rocks????#DIRT????#eating animals is not some terrible moral failing. just be aware of the fucking process and try to reduce unnecessary consumerism#do people not know about the 3 R?? do they not teach that in school anymore??#anyway im so tired please leave me the fuck alone
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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CAN GROWN ASS ADULTS STOP TRYING TO FUCK GON PLEASE
#first hisoka and now palm#NOT TO MENTION THE “COUGARS” FROM WHALE ISLAND?? EXCUSE ME??#can everyone just leave the 13 year old alone please#i don't think that's too much to ask#hxh#hunter x hunter#gon freecss#palm siberia#hisoka morow#fuck hisoka hes creepy and gross
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#just need to vent rq lololol#my wedding lehenga came out so freaking beautiful#but it needs to be taken in a lot like. i lost 6 inches on my waist since i initially had it made for my body#and everyone at the shop was like ohh wow good job great you look so great now you look awesome#and my mom was like oh wow good job that’s good you did it#like lol#i wanted to just be like#‘thanks i had to go to iop therapy at an ed center where they literlaly taught me how to eat food. like a toddler. thanks’#like i didn’t lose weight for an intentional reason but thanks for confirming you thought i looked horrible before lolol#idk i have been like every size in the book but seeing how much better ppl treat me when im smaller#i’m just like. :)#if my mom says anything about her body or mine tomorrow i will probably fucking lose it and if you see a woman in nj killing ppl on the news#it’s me. lol#it just really took me out of the experience bc i’m trying sooooo hard to be neutral about my body. and like. i don’t need to hear your#thoughts abt what i look like lmao#whatever my dress is beautiful and i’m so beautiful and i’m excited but i really do think i should be able to hunt ppl for sport#leave me alone#nothing you do can please ppl#when i was 20 and 100 lbs and killing myself and sick and miserable every single day my mom was also just like#wow you look great#meanwhile i was balding and fainting at the gym and failing my college classes bc i was obsessed w my body#text#also look at these cats that are just in luis’s apartment’s hallway like rofl who let them out of their apt!!!! so cute#my mom saying ‘you did it’ as if i was trying to do something made me lol#i wasn’t TRYING to do anything i just am healing my relationship w food and my body#bc i refuse to waste my entire life being bitter and miserable and ashamed of existing#like SOMEONE i know….#anyway this could be you too! if you went to fucking therapy!#i ate ny pizza out of spite after all of this#sorry some of you can’t enjoy a fucking carb !!!!!
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