#please dont comment anything mean

[lamamasjamas]

Foodie

A/n: I... Ya no sé mi gente. Ayúdame virgencita mía. For the people that are into Feedism(?) Feederism(?) and weight gain, I give you this...

Warnings: This is literally fetish fanfic but what isn’t at this point 🙃, Smut, feeder/Feedee stuff, Miguel is big, not just chubby anymore, tres leches cake...

His hands were playing with the buttons of his dress shirt, his face almost turning red from exertion. He had drops of sweat going down his forehead and dripping to his chin.

...or was that just his drool?

You shift in your seat, not oblivious to the way his belly was cutting into the table and wasn't an hour before, or how his thumb was pushing at his belt, making his gut spring forth underneath his shirt and thrust through the button and zipper of his pants.

Date night in. His idea. And of course, it was his idea because he barely knew how to heat up water by himself.

Your food... it was like a drug to him, always has been. But the latest version of his suppressant, the one that keeps his spider DNA in check. It made him feel as if he were starving.

All the damn time.

He notices your stare and for a second, he feels the prickle of shame go up his throat. You made enough food for a small backyard party, supposedly to save you the time to cook for the rest of the week.

The table was full of trays of food and his plate had piled on with what felt like most if not all of it the second he sat down.

It's gone, some of it scattered over his lips and chin, some driblets fallen down to his chest but then flicked off by his thumb and directed into his mouth to suck with a heady moan of gluttonous satisfaction.

He leans back against the chair, he could barely speak, his jaw tired from chewing and his mind numb and sleepy. A small soft moan falls between his lips as his belly gurgles, now tight and red, pressing down against his crotch and lap.

Your thighs flexed and you crossed your legs with a squeeze. Eye contact was avoided, and you took a shaky breath in.

The wooden chair creaked underneath him and your eyes widened, your body flushing with intense heat. That was new…

He knew you liked it. He would often catch you staring as he struggled to pull up his pants, his underwear tightening around his hips and his loose shirts becoming form fitting and small.

You’d wrap your arms around him from behind more frequently, feel his chunkiness grow underneath your palm each and every day.

You’d watch him go out for hero work at night or whenever he was needed, his suit conforming to each deepening roll, each pound of fat and each new crevice of his body.

His strength was still there, the muscles on his thighs and arms still somewhat visible. But sometimes he felt as if he were on the verge of waddling. All because of his gut.

Like now, standing up with the help of your dining table and grunting with effort, his body turning slowly like a wrecking ball towards the bedroom-

“I have cake.”

You stand, both palms on the table, watching him with eagerness as you say those three words with surprising conviction.

He loved that about you. His stomach grumbles, he could feel his jaw unhinging and his mouth water. Always wanting to take care of him.

…

You cup his cheek, leaving a sweet kiss on his now fully developed extra chin. He hums in appreciation, his lips around the curve of the spoon in your hand, not letting go until it was spotless of the sticky dessert of tres leches.

He has the urge to ask if you had left over condensed milk, his mouth waters just thinking of gulping down the thick sugary syrup… to feel it heavy in his stomach and relieving him of the hunger he knew would rise hours later.

He suddenly lifted a carton of milk to his lips and you could hear the glug glug glug as he swallowed, his throat bulging from the liquid.

You couldn’t help it, your hand started massaging his swollen and tight belly, bloated with food and churning as it tried to keep up with the latter half of the tray of dessert.

“Full?” you ask innocently, pressing down against the obvious swell of packed in dinner and cake. He nodded faintly, he shifted at your touch and the couch cushions creaked with his immense weight.

You lifted your skirt, having your cunt press against his thick fat thigh as you ground down on it slowly.

You could hear the bubbles of digestion in his stomach, feel the way his breaths have gotten heavy and were heaving his belly up and down in synchrony.

The front of his pants left him exposed in his boxers, dick pressed tightly against the newly acquired fat and gut from above.

He was hard, swollen purple mushroom tip peaking beneath the fabric and leaking pre so much it was smothering his undergut wet and darkening the fabric of his underwear.

He groans in response, his hand lifting his belly up and down repeatedly, stimulating his cock further.

“Mmph… going to regret this…” he moans.

He was, if only for a couple of seconds before he would start binge eating again. Now he was liking this, the feeling of fullness, the comfort of your care and attention.

Ever since the new side effect from the suppressant had first manifested, he's been trying to "fix" it. The formula hasn’t been touched in weeks; his mind was elsewhere in his downtime.

You pinched his cheek, cooing. He looked like a big bear, gobbling up what he could as if filling up for the winter.

The carton of milk was brought to his lips once more, attempting to wash down the thick mass of cake and sugar still being chewed on in his mouth.

A thick swallow made him grunt and wince, he paused.

One by one, the buttons of his shirt open, a faint stretch and pop with each one. Only one survived, the button between his growing ‘pectorals’ and his massive gut.

He should have fixed the problem with the newest batch sooner instead of having "one more snack" to make his stomach stop growling.

Sadly, for him, it never did stop nowadays.

You start to press light kisses up his neck, lips wandering over to his.

He grunted. Hands finding themselves to your waist as your tongue slithered into his mouth. You tasted sweet, he moaned at the feeling of your body pressing him down on the couch.

With your body on top of his belly, you kiss him as if you had enjoyed watching him stuff himself like a pig, as if you wanted to see him struggle getting to bed and make the frame shake as he sat down.

He was in denial. Still was as you lifted his gut up slightly to start jerking him off.

This was temporary, he would tell himself every time he saw his gut start to block the sight of his feet further and further.

But was it? He practically had a multiverse of Spider-men on call, he wasn't needed to fight. Not with the number of eager heroes at his disposal.

He looks down at himself in a daze. Miguel's eyes were zeroing in on the lard sitting on his lap, jiggling each time your hips moved and your body lowered to be able to kiss down to his chest.

"Jesus I-"

You press a finger to his lips and then give him another spoonful. He was getting full, his belly starting to ache. He tried to protest but his mouth was too full of cake.

"Shh..."

Your eyes flutter and stare up at him, tongue flicking out to lick at his nipple as he swallows and groans at the taste. He flushes in embarrassment. It looked like he had breasts, one resting against his stomach and the other in your palm being squeezed and fondled.

Your knees were pressed against fat; supple and pliable, soft and blubbery. You unbuttoned the last button, the one that had survived his subconscious stuffing.

Each time he had to size up Lyla ordered him new clothes automatically, often times finding the same design but in a larger size.

You didn’t tell him you would replace them almost every week but he knew, sensing your need to treat him and his ‘condition’ delicately. Somehow, you had forgotten to replace the newest sets, conveniently leaving the box Lyla had ordered under the bed.

"So handsome, big boy."

He pursed his lips, face flushing in embarrassment. He felt so full, a hand was pressing against his lower stomach, the other gliding against his wet fat cock.

Pressure builds within his throat.

Your hips rock, he feels your folds rub against his skin, he tries to contain it, even as you hum, still pressing your lips over his chest and neck.

The thick belch he let out startled you, it made you freeze in place. He looks down at you and his eyes widen in shock.

Your cunt throbs, your eyes become half lidded and you moan. He feels you grind against him harder; his mind starts to fog again.

Your movements, the weight against his belly that made it bob against his throbbing cock and the pressure in his chest and throat made him shake in euphoria.

His cock twitched and spurted as he licked a final spoonful of tres leches clean.

The underside of his gut was covered with his cum, your skirt and the small of your back painted with thick globs of his seed.

He leans back against the couch, the cushions squealing under his sudden weight. His back was soaking wet with sweat, his forehead gleaming against the living room lights.

You both lay there, your hands running down his belly, squeezing his growing love handles and kissing between his mounds on his chest as he regained his breath.

His stomach gurgled, he moaned. You’re suddenly lifted, his hands dragging your hips up his body to make his chin bump against your cunt.

He was starting to salivate, and his thick fingers were kneading your thigh.

He was hungry again.

——————————

A/n: Don’t know if this fetish is for me tbh, but it was fun to write! I’m just Mexican and the act of feeding people and giving food is a way of life at this point.

Let me know if y’all want more… ✨🩰✨

Viva México Cabrónes, if you don't reblog and comment you're racist. (JK or am I?)

[courfee]

help me decide on a title for my fic please i'm getting desperate

i'm gonna put some info about the reasoning for the titles and general info about the fic under the cut, but feel free to also just vote based on vibes

ok so fic:

this is an accidental fake dating jegulus fic. james keeps having panic attacks which he does not want anyone to know about. regulus accidentally walks in on him while he is panicking the first time, helping him to calm down, and ends up becoming james' go to method for getting comfort, which prompts all of their friends to assume they're secretly dating. james and reg finally go with it to stop getting questions and keep james' cover.

it's supposed to still be somewhat light hearted vibes for the story, like this isn't pure angst and poetry and whatever. idk if it helps to convey the vibes, but the first sentence is as follows:

"The first time it happens it takes James completely by surprise, which is, in retrospect, the entire reason it goes so badly."

titles:

ritardando:

in music it indicates a gradual or sudden decrease in tempo, followed by a complete stop, its used to add a sense of drama and intensity to the performance, creating tension and capturing the listener’s attention

its supposed to signify reg essentially stopping james' panic

in german you also have a "retardierendes moment" (idk what it's called in english) in story telling which is usually in the fourth act and is there to slow down the conclusion, mislead the reader to expect a different ending (e.g. have another little drama happen before the happy end/give a spark of hope before the hero meets their final tragedy)

downside of this is that there is obviously the r-word in english which is linguistically related to this and i do not wanna evoke that association?

also music has literally no significance for the fic and also maybe this is too pretentious for the vibes i'm going for?

rallentando

essentially very similar to ritardando, gradually decreases the tempo in music and is supposed to prepare the listener for a new section (new key/tempo/etc), used to create relaxation or mellowness, allowing for more expressive playing

it couldddd stand for panic attack is over and the new section becoming jegulus, however we go into the story with james already very much crushing on reg so thats not new for him.

plus the slowing of the heartbeat isn't exactly a romantic thing in this context?

it does sound a lot prettier as a word than ritardando, however it's a more uncommon musical word as far as i am aware so idk if people would get what this is playing at

also music has literally no signficance for the fic and also maybe this is too pretentious for the vibes i'm going for?

objectively i could change the below poem to include this word instead even if i guess it wouldn't be 'the end's' one as much

you make my heart beat slower:

rather obvious where this is coming from. play on the general "you make my heart beat faster" only it's the opposite cause james is being calmed down

it just doesn't really sound all that nice? i'm not vibing with it as a title too much it feels off

doesn't shorten to anything nice (ymmhbs looks kinda dumb)

the end's conducted ritardando:

see above ritardando

i wrote a poem for the general sentiment of feeling where this line is coming from:

decrescendo:

so far my working title

in music this signfies a decrease in volume

which is not at all what i was playing at, i just mixed up the words when i thought about it, but objectively it is a nice word

??????

no musical relevance in the fic

[unwellwoman]

i know my family doesnt mean any harm but i wish the tendency to make fun of someone was less. like is it a joke really....

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[horrorwebs]

why are men literally the fucking worst

[orcelito]

God, what even is my "reasons this hasn't been updated in 4 and a half months" list anymore hfkshdj

I think we're at: wrote a smut fic, got a new girlfriend, got into bg3, quit my job I had for 8 years, my dad fucking died, got Throat Bleeding Disease, got into crochet, started watching way too much anime, got into Stardew Valley again...

🤔🤔🤔🤔 things sure have been busy, huh?

[icksam]

I’ve been pretty inactive lately, so here’s some learning I’ve been doing!

I’ve been trying to find my digital art style recently and I think I made an oc along the way. At least… I hope. I don’t really have a good history with keeping ocs but I believe they could really help me draw/practice more without it feeling like a chore. I also want to learn how to animate, no matter how…. slow….. and. tedious.. i make it. But! The animation I attached to this post was done in under an hour, or at least it felt like it was (which, imo, matters a lot more).

[the-kipsabian]

tho the last comment i got on ao3 was someone reading the hanahaki and in the first chapter they were like all pumped and excited and said it was a really nice beginning to a story and stuff

and then they came back in the last chapter a while later being like "HEY WHAT THE FUCK" so like. that was the nicest lmao

[dullahandyke]

fun game called 'is this an episode or is it just the fact that ive started my period'

[icharchivist]

i’m still not talking about the game i’m playing and obsessing over (sorry, one look at the fandom means it’s typically the type of games i don’t want to connect with people over unless they’re people i already trust) but i’m laughing so hard 

because, there’s one chara i was obsessing over so hard that when i found his figurine in the manga store i somewhat bought it right away while i was still very early in the game, and i knew people hates this chara because of something he did later in game (i’m calling, betrayal and murders) and i had vague spoilers about what his deal was about but i couldn’t completely put those spoilers back in context

so there was a moment of fear of, was buying the figurine a good idea? would i finish the game thinking his crimes are too much for me to bear? (i mean i do have figurines for characters i don’t really like so i doubt i would really resent the buy since it’s a pretty figurine, but yaknow?)

But now i’m at a point where, they didn’t reveal what his deal is yet, but i have most of the pieces to know more or less what his crime is, and most of all, he’s currently lying extremely blatantly to everyone while going very 😇 about it (lies i only can totally figure out because of the spoilers i know), and i’m absolutely hysterical because it actually makes him even more my type than he was at the start of the game where he just seemed cheeky yaknow?

i was told everywhere this character’s twist is enough to have people hate him and instead the more i’m building to the twist the more i’m absolutely hysterical because he’s taking all the steps to be an Ultimate Fav Of Mine by checking all the boxes for my dubious fav character type (Sweet Talker, Criminal, and Massive Hypocrite Liar). I’m living. 

[leelesbo]

(hii dragon <33 glad you decided to send an ask in. so so fun. i *am* having fun, i promise you that. wishing you the same)

we’ve talked about you a bit bunny, you know that? yeah? what? you getting hard thinking of two dykes crawling back to your blog, refreshing, and then inevitably jerking their dicks to your pathetic self? you gonna get off on this? i know you will. i just can’t help it pretty girl, it’s only natural ~ it just so happens you’re a target in the radar of dykes that just want to strip you raw !! maybe you should start rubbing and i’ll join you if you decide to slut yourself out some more and tell me what you want. i can’t wait to get my hands all over you, so fucking vulnerable, so cute and squirmy beneath me, just can’t sit still.

your face is all red, sweetie! what, you embarrassed? is it because you like it? hm? what if i start asking while i play with your dick? or while i jerk you off? will you respond then? will you actually talk like a person instead of just whimpers and moans?

what if i grind on you? is my smell too distracting? do you want to huff me, maybe grab just a little taste?

“im going to cry’ aw, what a good bunny! i wonder if i tickle you some more how long it’ll take you to actually start?

i like that toe harness you rbed, btw. you really love giving me ideas, huh perv? you know what happens to perverted little dykes, freak? hm? gonna spill your heart out in the tags for me so i know how to break you further? ~

- 🐗

i. im. you are sooooofjsjfj 😭😭😭😭😭😭 boar im hitting u over the head with a crowbar for this one.

[piplupod]

also (sorry i'm chatty today and just in general as of late lol) it's really weird to be talking to people at the centre (mainly the leaders/ppl in charge) because they always comment on how many hobbies and interests I have and like. I kind of forget that this is apparently abnormal? I just... I like a lot of things? and I try a lot of things. at some point I changed my perspective from "oh man I could never do that!" when I saw something cool to "hmm I wonder how I could do that?" and I either try things out exactly the way I see other ppl doing them or I adapt it to work for me with my restraints (constraints?) on money/energy/skill level/etc.

and i'm also very quick to jump on opportunities to try things! there is not a lot available because of where I live (small town, rural, conservative, etc) so when things pop up that I am able to try out I jump on them immediately!

when an opportunity arose to learn the accordion (classes were offered and my neighbour offered to lend theirs to me) I hopped on it so fucking fast because I knew if I didn't then I'd likely never have the chance to learn it ever again! when someone is giving away art supplies for free/very cheap, i will usually take it because I know I'll find a use for it (or I can rehome it if I end up realizing I can't use it). when someone offers to show me how to do something (like skin a mouse), I will agree because why the fuck not! i love learning!

but then people always look at me like I possess some incredible talent just because I have so many hobbies and interests and weird bits of knowledge like... no ? 😭 I just try things. and I give myself the grace to learn new things and be bad at them and continue to try if I have the interest. I hate being told this is my autistic superpower or that I'm some kind of creative savant because I genuinely just... work hard. to learn things. I practice a lot. I enjoy making stuff so I do it a lot because it makes me feel good and keeps me from killing myself dsdgjkl. it feels like they dismiss all the time and work I put into this stuff. I honest to god think just about anyone could do this if they just decided to put the time into it. I'm not special for it, I'm honestly just desperate to be good at something so I put a lot of work into this.

[conditioned-to-be-a-friend]

are you even old enough to be here?

hello ! its nice to meet you too ! i dont know why youre making assumptions about my age but i would encourage you to review tumblrs tos before making comments like this in the future 💞 i assure you that i am in fact using this website legally 💖 if youre curious qabout where to find more information, here's a helpful link ! https://www.tumblr.com/policy/en/terms-of-service hope this helps !

[kalims]

he's a ten but he...

premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.

characters. dorm leaders

content. gender neutral reader

malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)

"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"

"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"

he blinks, then shrugs.

like i said, has NO sense of space.

if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.

if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!

cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.

if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.

(I wish I could be that unbothered.)

lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.

^ totally has his own album full of pictures.

if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯

since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.

while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)

"child of man, have you slept?"

*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.

"WTF."

not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?

idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')

user: where tf r u??

ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?

user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES

unintentionally stood you up 💀

you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.

ghoul666: we do??

user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.

ghoul666: NO PLS

ghoul666: HELLO????

next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.

in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭

though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...

big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(

with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.

if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.

ghoul666: can we not go there

user: 😐

user: you are testing my patience love

ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)

ghoul666: how abt

ghoul666: mimic together? call

user: sighs

user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you

queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.

the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.

"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.

unsurprisingly does carry you.

asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)

vil (frets over you way too much.)

"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"

"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"

"I love you but please give it back—"

"I love you too, and no."

disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)

looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!

and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..

*shows up literally half an hour in*

why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)

vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.

oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..

you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.

if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!

you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.

"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"

you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)

vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."

you sigh.

"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."

vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."

"... I feel offended."

"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."

after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.

the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)

epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)

"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"

"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."

rook giggles away.

kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)

"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?

you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.

"a gift!"

"wait why does it say lot 111--"

as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.

but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..

fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.

after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.

"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"

"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."

if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...

( ^ it is btw.)

kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.

he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)

you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?

the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.

was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.

bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.

even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.

"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"

"for them! ;D"

"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"

"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"

you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...

(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')

azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)

"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."

"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"

"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."

pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.

now he won't go last 50!

ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.

last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.

love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.

but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*

but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.

who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..

yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.

they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.

one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?

...

they do look like they've seen some though..

jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)

long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.

"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.

azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"

he praises himself for his quick thinking.

COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)

then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.

it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.

you screech. "JADE PLEASE."

the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."

"AZUL."

"... only on a condition of course."

frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.

'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'

actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?

leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)

"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."

"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."

"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."

to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.

there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.

rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.

and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?

leona's work no doubt.

you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.

if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.

at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.

it goes something like;

"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."

a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.

you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.

...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.

"because you care about me?"

"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"

you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"

he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."

...

...

see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.

next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.

"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.

"really?" <- you, confused

riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)

“I'm just a little busy.”

“I understand,” riddle says.

“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.

“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…

“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point. 

for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.

that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)

you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.

he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.

but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.

…busy…

riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.

somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.

“THIS IS ABSURD.”

and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)

that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.

everyone noted to steer clear.

and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’

“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.

he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)

guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite. 

“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.

“i thought you were busy.” he adds.

your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.

he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile. 

“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”

“no!”

silence.

“no.” he repeats, weaker.

“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?” 

he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”

you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”

so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,

so cute…….

[lokh]

ok. so about 3 hours out i make my final appeal

first. some of us wonder why mob is in this tournament. characters are entered by nomination and someone made a compelling argument for mob being low empathy. i can respect that

however.

nagai kei is THE dogshit empathy boy

theres an argument to be made that there are different types of empathy and also that empathy ≠ compassion. affective empathy relates to actually being affected by others emotions. emotionally (personal distress and empathic concern). cognitive empathy relates to understanding others' perspectives and what they might feel and why. kei is totally fucked over in both of them.

he cant relate to other people and he doesnt want to. he outright says "i've never worried about anyone else unless it was for show." someone dies in front of him and he goes 'oh well! not my problem anymore and it wasnt my fault' and gets on with his day. his ability to understand others' perspectives is limited and goal-oriented, knowing for example that having a dying partner makes one desperate but not truly understanding what that feels like, only that it makes one easy to manipulate. he gets an arc where he begins to feel inadequate for lacking empathy not because he feels guilty over it, but because it might somehow make him less effective at achieving his goals

and he chooses to stick by his low empathy

i dont agree that hes morally bankrupt and its true also that having low empathy doesnt make you morally bankrupt. in fact i think his principles are all he has, and that they do drive him to act compassionately. because he IS capable of that! time and time again he acts in ways that seem at odds with his low empathy, saving people he has shown no attachment to and putting himself in danger over it. remember the guy from earlier that i said died in front of him? surprise! they werent dead! and the first thing he does is go 'oh fucking Hell' and he goes back to save them. why? because he can and to him its what he should do. i actually also dont think he has zero empathy but if its a contest between him and mob (and it is.) then he definitely has less of it

more to the point, keis low empathy is central to both him as a character and also to the narrative. as it has been pointed out, mobs whole thing is about accepting and processing his own emotions without repressing them, and about connecting with other people. keis whole thing is literally going fuck that we ball low empathy forever ive never met an emotion in my life. and he chooses this and it works for him and its something that isnt changed about him! THATS swaggy

vote for kei PLEASE

Round 2; Group 1: Nagai Kei (Ajin) vs. Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo (Mob Psycho 100)

[chaoticace2005]

Rules for the Hazbin Hotel, authored by Vaggie:

1. No drugs.

2. No fights.

3. No pranks.

4. No problematic language.

5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)

6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.

7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.

8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)

9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day

10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel

11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.

12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.

13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.

14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS

15. NO EATING PEOPLE

16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.

17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?

18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!

19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)

20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.

21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”

22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.

23. NO DEALS ALASTOR

24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.

25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.

26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.

27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)

28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.

29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?

30. No building weapons/war machines.

31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)

32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)

33. Stop touching people ANGEL.

34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.

35. Respect boundaries.

36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.

36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.

37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”

38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.

39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.

40. NO EXPLOSIONS!

41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.

42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.

43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)

44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX

45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!

46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR

47. Don’t die.

48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.

49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!

50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP

51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!

52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”

53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.

54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.

55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.

56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.

57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)

58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”

59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.

60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.

61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.

62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.

63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.

64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.

65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.

66. Therapy. Everyone.

67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!

68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.

69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.