#please don't comment anything with the intention of changing the experience i'm having

[evelhak]

I'm gonna be raw here for a sec. I just had my last psychophysical physiotherapy appointment for the next six months, and we went over my progress for the last year and what my key challenges and epiphanies have been, and when I left, I realised this was the first time I had stayed present for the entire 2 hours, and suddenly, when I was walking, this song which I hadn't listened to for years, was playing in my head:

I have known this song since middle school, so, 17-ish years, but just now for the first time, I felt that it described my feelings. And this is a huge breakthrough for me. Because I have never before been able to relate to a song where feelings are expressed in such a strong worded way. The moment something is too angsty, too explosive, too crude, too impolite, too explicit, or anything like that, I can't connect to it or see myself in it. But not today. I just vibed with the song in my head, and then went to listen to it, and I actually felt it in my body and emotions, or more like I felt my emotions in my body. Like "I actually have emotions that I can fully experience not just sort of look at and analyse" sort of way.

Not like "I could maybe relate to this song if it was expressed in a more sophisticated way". I just felt the song. I just related to it. I just felt like it was the perfect song for my long since unexpressed frustrations and experiences.

Not that this is suddenly going to become my new normal or anything, I would probably still be exhausted if I experienced the world through angst or such, because it's not my natural way of dealing with things, but this short experience right now felt very empowering to me. 💙

[ao3-shenanigans]

Would it be rude to ask an author how sad of an ending an ongoing story will be? I don't like permanent major character death stories or Greek tragedy levels of sad ending stories and it's one of the ways this story I'm really enjoying could end up going. There is no indication in the tags or author's notes from what I've seen. Idk I just don't want to be mean or discouraging cause I love the story soo much!!!!!

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure; I know everyone will have widely varying opinions on this which means that it’s a very good question!

On one hand, authors aren’t generally fans of being told what to do or not to do in the comments as that’s not really the place for such things, on the other hand- if it’s a genuine question I don’t really see why not?

I think it really comes down to tone and context:

‘Woah! I love your story! [character/concept] is one of my favorites and you do it so well!

Out of curiosity, may I ask how sad you intend the ending to be?/genq (I’m sensitive to some endings and didn’t notice anything in the tags and as such wanted to be able to prepare myself; if you’re willing to share)

I love this story and am always so excited to see an update notification in my inbox!

Many many kudos!’

^something like this would be, I think, pretty well received by the author and understandable as it’s coming from a place of good intentions and is made clear as such

Of course, if it does end up being a tragedy for the ages, you might have to stop reading, which would be unfortunate but there’s really nothing you can (or should) do to change it. If it turns out to be the case, leave an “Extra kudos!” On the last chapter you read and walk off without further comment- leave on a high note, and hey- bookmark it and maybe one day you’ll be able to come back and revisit the story!

Note: to everyone commenting and sharing their own experiences and opinions, please, above all else, be kind, both to commenters and authors <3

[nomsfaultau]

well i had a tumblr error so I'm going to copy and paste the ask

wlwdwtys asked:

(Potentially) Daily ask №4

Tommy edition!

How did he become a collected? You don't gotta say if it's way too major spoilers

If he was given the opportunity to get rid of the Red permanently, would he? What if that meant that some random child in the world got the Red instead? Would his choice change?

How old is he?

His opinion on SCP 053? That one 3 year old girl physical contact with whom causes the person to become aggressive towards her but die moments after harming her, from a heart attack? She's kind of the opposite to his powers, isn't she?

BOOM I have brought a golden bracelet that allows to turn the red on and off at will. With just the intention to, basically. Now he can hug whoever he wants with little repercussions. Also, eat your vegetables, Tommy Innit.

-------------------------------------

Not spoilers at all. Tommy and Philza’s first encounter consisted initially of Philza threatening to caramelize him till he was but naught a stain upon the earth all shuddered to remember etc etc. In Phil’s defense he thought the phone call was a hostage negotiation for his teleported mentee. After reunion with The Blade, Philza’s opinion about the summoning thing was that it was a power not in good hands, given teen Tommy was a twit, but at least non malicious ones. He figured it was best to be on good terms with Tommy given The Blade’s safety was on the line. Tommy naturally had a whole normal life going on and wasn’t exactly going to drop it to be with them 24/7, which Phil thought reasonable despite his security problem. Tommy started visiting them and bringing food (and his mum at first, who wasn’t pleased her kid was hanging around with homeless men but also recognized they had experience with powers that she couldn’t help Tommy with). Tommy was in desperate need of any sort of guidance given he was grappling with suddenly not being human anymore. Poor idiot thought he was in a different genre and mistook the anomalies for a band of superpowered vigilantes. The trio tried to tone everything down for him, make life on the run seem thrilling and not deadly, hide the bodies before he came to visit, etc. Everything just seems safer and lighter when Tommy was around. Philza became fond of the bright eyed ball of energy, and after months realized ‘oh muffin I want to Collect him.’ At which point Wilbur and The Blade traded money in the background. It was more efficient that way anyway, since The Blade wouldn’t be summoned if Tommy was safe so might as well protect him. Not sure what his long term plan was since mother innit would’ve had his hide if he suggested Tommy take up being a homeless nomad instead of going to college, but the Foundation captured Tommy before anything so I suppose it doesn’t matter much. Tommy’s initial reaction to being asked about Collection was “huh? But I already have a dad.”

Tommy would get rid of his Red in a heartbeat. It’s a curse to him, a large source of his trauma, and the reason the Foundation oppresses him. If someone else would get it… he’d still give it up. He’s not above selfishness. And honestly it still might be a better outcome since the new person wouldn’t be traumatized by their own power in a way that makes it far more dangerous and difficult to live with. Frankly if it wasn’t a trigger for him Tommy could very well touch people just fine since its effects are proportional to his panic.

Now that is a spoiler. But he was captured when in the late 15 area, and had a party with Tubbo and Rosalind for his 17th while in the Foundation. They were guessing tho, since it’s hard to keep track of time and so it didn’t really take place on the 10th of April, if I’m remembering Tommy’s birthday right. And since the clues are in Fault and at least a few commenters have figured it out: Tommy is actually 21, and everyone was in the Foundation for 5 years. The Blade is the only one who knows this due to his infrequent escapes. Due to a lack of typical developmental milestones such as graduation, moving out of his parents house (in a normal and safe way), etc Tommy still acts like a teenager. People well into adult hood like Rosalind, Rhodes, etc register him as a kid because of that immaturity. Philza doesn’t judge mortal ages well, Wilbur has no frame of reference and is always taller even when Tommy grows, and everyone is teeny tiny to The Blade. Tubbo was initially pretty shocked given how tall Tommy is, but Rhodes skewed the frame of reference. Plus, then Tommy opened his mouth.

In his role as a research tool, it’s possible Tommy’s encountered her, since the Foundation would want to know if she has powers outside of the touch thing. When ordered not to touch the kid, he laughed humorously. Likely he dripped some Red on her and then sat in the corner while the kid attacked the D-class. He was grateful about the heart attack part, far easier for them to just drop dead rather than watch a baby try to rip em apart. He’d probably try to comfort her after, and would have some degree of success given a scene where he calmed a hysterical Jasmine (5) and the number of instances helping Tubbo through the trauma of the Foundation. It’s helped but the fact 053 isn’t really affected by the attacks, but he would lose points for inadvertently suggesting some of his own ill advised coping mechanisms or convictions. I don’t think her anomalous affect would target him while the Red was active, so he might draw little pictures on the floor for her with Red while janitors took care of the body.

Tubbo has to carry around Tommy for days since he’s in full koala bear mode. They don’t mind but also they don’t have very high stamina due to how many bees they’ve lost. Wilbur would also get a lot of physical affection, and for once wouldn’t be a cagey tsundere about it. There’d be hesitation at first, of course, still instinctively demuring from contact and holding himself back, but that would fade into only subconscious, infrequent moments Tommy would be almost always touching someone, an arm slung over shoulders, a hand hooked in the crook of an elbow, leaning and pressing and starving.

He’d never turn it back on.

[theproverbialpen]

Musings from a Hazbin Fan and Hotel Employee

Yeah, that's right—I'm posting to this blog for the first time in years because I got into Hazbin Hotel of all things. Not only did I get into this cursed fandom, I'm writing fan fiction for it. Fan fiction. I think the last time I wrote fanfiction was...2012? 2013? And I only ever told 3 people about that one. Now here I am posting on main. The brainrot truly is unquantifiable.

If you're one of the few people that survived the purge of those I know IRL, congratulations. Please don't judge me lol. Anyways, actual musings are below the cut!

So I’m writing a fun little fanfic on AO3 and after someone left a comment (if you’re reading this, still genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me about my craft), it occured to me—as a Hazbin Hotel enjoyer, I have a pretty unique perspective on the series as an IRL hospitality professional. So! Thought it would be some cute bonus content to talk a little bit more about my life at an actual hotel and how it’s impacted my experience with Vivziepop’s hit series. 

Please note: this is written purely for shits and giggles. I don’t actually have any issues with the setting of Vivzie’s narrative or how it plays into the stories she and her team want to tell. I fucking love this show, to a potentially unhealthy degree, and I haven’t had this much fun with a series since like…okay well my hyperfixations change like every few months, but still. Point is, this isn’t actually critique, or satire, or anything with negative or critical intentions. TLDR; this post is for funsies, get off my dick.

So Who TF Am I, Anyways?

A little background on myself, for context. I’ve been employed at my hotel for almost a year now, and it’s my first hospitality job. I work in the Sales and Events department and I’ve come to learn that Group Business is actually integral for keeping a hotel up and running. When your average person (read: me before this job) thinks about hotels and traveling, you’d think it’s all about the families, bloggers, and individual travelers when it comes to guests and revenue. But in actuality, most of a hotel’s revenue—at least in the market I work in—will come from contracted room blocks and events. 

That’s where folks in my department come in. We work with clients to negotiate contracts and secure occupants for our hotel year round. Simply put, if we don’t do our jobs well, then no one else gets hours. So as much as the anti-capitalist in me will sometimes hate being a cog in the machine, it is really fulfilling to be able to help clients meet their needs while also making sure my coworkers are able to put food on the table. 

Speaking of being a cog in the machine, because of my role in Sales, this means that whenever I travel or think about hotels, I’m always thinking about the revenue side of things. I also work more with the Events team, so operations are also on the forefront of my mind. Which leads me to my principal quandary for this little blog post:

How in the Hell does the Hazbin Operate?

I have a laundry list of questions. A laundry list that’s almost as big as the actual pile of dirty laundry that is currently plaguing my bedroom floor. I will summarize (which is a generous word given how fucking verbose I can be) below:

Issue #1: Revenue Generation

Okay listen, I know Charlie is the Princess of Hell. I know she probably has unlimited capital, whatever that looks like in the HelluVerse. And I know the Hazbin is literally there to help rehabilitate people so charging them to stay would be counterproductive.

But my dude…do you understand how much money would be needed to run an operation of this scale?

At the end of Season 1, the new Hazbin is huge. Like it easily looks as big, if not bigger, than the hotel I work at which has nearly 500 rooms. Do you know how much revenue our team has to generate to keep this place running? Do you know how many millions our target goal is set at for each quarter? How many hundreds of thousands my coworkers’ individual quotas are set to? And sunshine in a bottle over here doesn’t charge her residents anything????? 

How does she get all those decorations? How does she order food or inventory? We know Hell has an economy, like Angel literally says he needs to save money for drugs in his first appearance. Is she…does she even pay her staff???

It is utterly appalling that Charlie is able to operate a hotel of this scale, both because of how it doesn’t make sense from a business perspective and because there are IRL billionaires that could probably do the same thing and solve homelessness overnight. 

Speaking of scale:

Issue #2: The Hazbin’s Systems, Or Lack Thereof

Okay so, yes, there’s only like…one official resident of the hotel, maybe two if Cherri moves in and doesn’t become a staff member (RIP Pentious, you would have loved living with Cherri Bomb). With the staff the way it is, that’s a solid 5:1 ratio, which is beyond ideal. But—and I touch on this in the fic—I feel I must reiterate: the new Hazbin is fucking massive. And you know what that means? It’s going to be able to hold a lot of guests. Guests that will need staff to take care of them. Let’s review:

Charlie is the owner and mostly teaches classes. Vaggie is the co-owner and kind of acts as the Executive Assistant to Charlie’s General Manager. I guess Alastor is the Hotel Manager? I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what he does, but generally speaking he’s supposed to be the jack of all trades and manage the rest of the staff. Niffty handles Housekeeping and I guess would be the director of that. Husk is the bartender but like canonically only really eats pub food so he definitely can’t be the Food & Beverage head. 

Let’s say we scrap the Sales and Revenue Departments because clearly they don’t need income, but we keep a Marketing position so that Charlie can get the word out about the hotel. That leaves us with the need for Engineering, Front Desk, Rooms, and F&B staff. And like, not just one person—that would fucking suck—but proper staff. And given their track record of organization and managing the hotel…let’s just say, I would not be applying to the Hazbin Hotel anytime soon. Honestly, it sounds like that job would qualify to be the new tenth circle of Hell. 

What Does the Hazbin Get Right About IRL Hospitality?

So yes, clearly the world of the Hazbin Hotel leans towards the more fanciful—it is a story about Hell after all. However, there have been some moments that have made me chuckle as a hotel employee, things that are relatable for us in the hospitality world. Allow me to highlight them for you below:

Everyone is Bat Shit Crazy

Hospitality professionals are weird. So weird. Before I started my job, I was terrified of the level of professionality I would need to have. When I first got hired, I was given a whole packet on dress code and appropriate conduct. As you can probably tell from my writing style, this was concerning: I can be professional when I need to be, but I cannot maintain that guise for extended periods of time. Call it my toxic trait.

I also already had this impression of poised and put-together hotel staff from my previous experiences with travel. All the Front Desk agents would be in these clean and wrinkle-free clothes with kind yet business-forward attitudes, office workers would be walking around in full suits, and occasionally you’d see the hotel management on the floor if you were looking. Let me tell you now—it is a facade. An act. An incredible stage production unfolding in real time where all the staff do their absolute damndest to make you feel like you are in an organized and professional institution. Not unlike a certain hit animated musical.

My direct supervisor, the literal Director of Catering and Events, once told me that being a liiiiiittle crazy was a prerequisite for working in our department during the hiring process for a new Sales Manager. She was wrong—the prerequisite is not “a little” crazy. The prerequisite is being bat shit insane. And it’s not just our department, oh noooOoooOo, it is every department. Downstairs in our little basement dungeon, we make out of pocket comments, scream at random intervals, and swear way more than we should (that one might be my fault…according to my partner I swear more at work than at home and apparently it’s rubbing off on my colleagues), but that behavior is in no way restricted to just the Sales Team. 

I process the checks that are sent to our property and our Director of Rooms makes me say “can I get a WITNESSSS” before she signs off on the drop log (Charlie-core). If I don’t say it high pitched enough or with enough vigor, she makes me do it again. I once watched a guy in Engineering climb a tall step ladder balanced with two legs on a platform and a third leg balanced on a wooden plank his coworker was holding steady. The fourth leg was over the open air. Let me reiterate: the open. Fucking. Air. Tell me you can’t see Angel Dust and Cherri doing that shit.

Speaking of Engineering, you wanna know what dumbass thing happened just this morning? The Regional Director of the department—regional meaning he manages teams all across our area, like top level type shit—told us about this cursed ass Instagram trend he found where allegedly, putting ketchup on a Kit Kat tasted like fudge. So right there and then, him, myself, and two other coworkers decided ‘why the fuck not?’:

I would never seek it out willingly again, but I honestly didn’t hate it. 

The point of all of this is to say—the antics the Hazbin crew get up to? Totally realistic. I could see my coworker Robert throwing me into an active battlefield against my will. We have deadass done the role playing thing Angel and Pentious did during our trainings, and it was just as unhinged. Every day some shit happens at this hotel and I’m just like, “Yup. That could happen in Hazbin.”

“Call Now! Or Don’t! I Don’t Care! We Still Don’t Have a Working Phone!”

I would like to preface this section by saying: if you happen to be a Front Desk associate, I’m sorry. This is not directed at you, this is directed at your managers and their communication skills that may or may not exist. If you are somehow a manager reading this, uh—first of all, cringe. Second of all, I hope these next few paragraphs don’t apply to you. If they do and you’re offended: that’s a certified you-problem, babes. 

There are three certainties in this life: death, taxes, and miscommunication from your fucking managers. Tell me why in this past week alone I have been in 5 different email threads regarding fuck-ups and complaints from guests about things that we had clearly communicated. Tell me why in these email threads, people were attempting to throw me under the bus or shift the blame to my team. Tell me why I have gone to every single individual office in my department complaining about this. Tell me why this isn’t the first time this has happened.

Another hotel tidbit: across the board, Q1 (Jan-Mar) is supposed to be slow, for all of hospitality. It’s the time to get the metaphorical phone lines working, ya know? Our Q1 was stupidly busy, so I get it, people were slammed and short staffed. But like… we had time. Time to iron out our communication, time to create systems and processes that would ensure we’d be all set when things got busier. Yet here I am at the start of Q2 with an entire fist shoved up my ass being puppeted around to fix other people’s mistakes. 

It’s times like these when I go back to rewatch Hazbin for the like 26th time and I watch Charlie and Alastor run the hotel and I’m just like “whyyYyYyYyYyYy”. Like I KNOW Vaggie has had days where she’s like, “what…what am I supposed to be doing right now? Like what is my job, what… What?” 

It’s not just Front Desk either. It’s every department, even my own bosses. Like the call is coming from inside the house, sweetie, why did you tell this Sales Manager that I was taking care of all her commissions but you didn’t tell me this. Why am I blocking a room for an Orientation the following Monday at fucking 5:45 PM on a Friday. Why am I JUST finding out about a VIP guest when I have been asking you if you had any notes for me for the whole week.

I touch on it in my fic as well but like…pretty sure Charlie just, decides to host her classes day of. And that drives me insane. Like I…there are processes. Things that need to be done so that everyone is on the same page. You don’t just wing this shit, that’s how you end up with Susan calling your Director to tell her that you’re a useless waste of space not even deserving of the air in your lungs because you didn’t give her her fucking breakfast voucher. 

As a character, I love Alastor. If I were ever in the same room as him, I’d probably hate him. But if there’s anything relatable about that Geneva Convention Violation on Legs it’s his absolutely done attitude in Episode 1’s opening commercial.

Charlie Loves Helping People, and So Do We!

Alright, I’ve complained for enough paragraphs, let’s be positive for a second. The thing that is by far the most true to life in Hazbin Hotel is how much joy Charlie gets from taking care of her guests. Like…that’s our bread and butter in the hospitality world. Well, maybe just the butter; we need that bread in the form of cold hard cash (or direct deposits, whatever works best). But as much as I will bitch and moan about the difficulties of working in a hotel, there’s nothing quite as fulfilling as a guest telling you that you made their entire trip better. The butterflies I get reading reviews where my coworkers are mentioned by name and a guest writes about how we completely turned around their bad day are an absolute delight. It just means the world knowing that you can have that kind of impact on someone, even if it’s just in the little things.

In Episode 2, when Charlie and the crew are welcoming Sir Pentious and she just starts vibrating with excitement is exactly how I feel when I get to meet a client that we’ve been working with for months and finally welcome them to our property. When they sing “It Starts With Sorry” and just get to have a moment of empathy and compassion together, it reminds me of the clients and the phone calls I take where I get to ask them about their goals and help them feel like they’re supported and heard. In the grand scheme of things, is a nice phone call or interaction with some hotel employee going to change your life? Probably not. But for those few moments when their burdens seem lighter is why I love my job.

This goes for guests, and for my fellow coworkers. I’ve been very blessed to start my hospitality career in an unusually supportive work culture. Yeah, we can be some right petty bitches sometimes, but overall everyone is so encouraging and so quick to help lighten each other’s loads. Like in Episode 5 (best episode btw, for obvious reasons) when all the Hazbin Crew are working together to prepare the hotel for Lucifer’s arrival, that shit made me so giddy cause like- that’s us! Look at us go! We workin together so hard, we’re so cute! Like when Niffty and Pentious are baking and she looks up at him all excited n’ shit—that’s literally been me working with our Director of Restaurants on new food menus or promotional material. 

There’s something about being in an occupation where your whole purpose is to take care of people that really brings out the selflessness in you, and I think that’s what makes the hotel such a great setting for Charlie’s mission of redemption. I didn’t realize that until writing this paragraph tbh, but yeah, it just kinda…works. When your job is to make sure other people have a good time and feel supported and you’re surrounded by people that make you feel the same way, it’s a lot easier to want to choose to do good, to do right by the people around you. So as much as I have some silly little nitpicks…yeah, I can admit—I love that this show is about the Hazbin Hotel specifically.

Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! Next update for Life is In Redemption will be out in the days to come, just thought this would be a fun addition while I work on some of the content with my friends. This upcoming chapter is going to have a co-author, so get hyyyyyped :)

[winxanity-ii]

❀ ° • • • ╮ 𝖂𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 ╰ • • • ° ❀

18+ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤(𝐬) | 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭

The name's Xani, and welcome to my blog where i push out all the delusional scenarios/stories—both sfw and nsfw—my maladaptive daydreams like to stir up...

i'm not really sure how this goes, but if you guys have an idea you'd like to see written, send it, and hopefully my delusions will work in overdrive to complete them...

um, what else? i guess all i can say is hold on because i tend to bounce from fandom to fandom due to my attention/dopamine span-some range from a few days-weeks, others months, but right now i'm hooked on anime ❤️.

also, don't hold back! though i may be new to this posting stuff, i've had my fair share of experiences, so whatever you think of, i most likely dabbled in it...

and if i do a good enough job on something and have more spunk in the gunk, i'll do my best to do a continuation on whatever...

also, don't be afraid to reblog/like either! it let's me know i'm doing a good job (not that i like being praised or anything hahahah, unless 👀)

i guess that's all. bye!

other useless info: ╰┈➤ ✨ 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭　𝐦𝐞 ✨

𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 | 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐩-𝐭 | AuDHD / neurodivergent | 04 / 18+ | 𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹��g𝗶𝘀𝘁 | support me on ko-fi (i accept commissions/requests) other accounts: archive of our own / wattpad / quotev

check out my sister's page for more writing's like this; she does a multitude of fandoms just like I do, so it you like my writing style/fics, you'll adore her's ❤️😩: 🇰‌-🇳‌🇦‌🇾‌🇪‌🇪‌

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𝐚𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: lulu-4-u | Lusion

[skatermusic]

There was no mistaking Semeru's favourite colour. The floor, his bedding, even the.....pet bed? in the room was blue.

Semeru looked up from the weapon he was sharpening. "Hermione, always a pleasure to see you. Please, come in."

Hermione happily swam into the shark's room. "How has your day been?"

Semeru put his polishing materials down as he spoke. "Other than taking my third night patrol in a row and whipping the new recruits into shape, uneventful, so don't take it personally if I fall asleep during your visit. Yours?"

"Oh, y'know, donated some stuff to the museum, bought another cow, ran some errands for people, fished for a few hours, and now I'm here."

Semeru beamed. "Always a pleasure to see you. I've just realized you've learned so much about my world, but I barely know anything about yours."

Hermione began with basic differences, sprinkling her own experiences in. Semeru listened intently, only politely interrupting to ask for clarification, which the farmer happily provided, even if it meant having to compare their worlds. Halfway through a story about her childhood dog, she just had to ask:

"Quick question, Semeru."

"Of course."

"Is that a pet bed?" Hermione asked, pointing to the tiny bed in Semeru's room.

"Yes, for my lobster, Poseidon. He ran off some time ago."

Hermione's heart broke. When her dog, Dusty, had run away, she was crushed. "Oh no, I'm so sorry. I hope you find him."

"Thank you, I hope so too."

To change the depressing subject, Hermione told Semeru about her family-growing up the only girl in a house full of boys, her parents, and cherished memories. "How about you?"

"Remember when you saved that seahorse fry from a plastic bottle?"

"Oh, so that's what baby seahorses were called! How could I forget?" The bastard who threw the bottle out hadn't bothered to close it, and the poor baby was trapped. Hermione had wanted to free the baby with her scythe, but Semeru immediately stopped her. The dagger he used instead hung on the wall.

Semeru sighed. "Seeing that family of seahorses in the coral reef reminded me of my own family. They weren't particularly nurturing."

Hermione raised a confused eyebrow. The entire family had come to hug the baby after it was freed.

Semeru immediately cleared up the confusion. "My family, I mean. I don't know where they were. After I was hatched, I was pretty much on my own."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked. She didn't like the implications of Semeru's statement but allowed him to explain.

"When I hatched, I didn't have the luxury of a loving family waiting for me. No warm welcomes, no guiding fins. I was alone in that vast ocean, but it toughened me up real quick. I guess you could say the sea was my first teacher."

What the actual fuck? How could Semeru just casually admit something so heartbreaking? No wonder he cried when the seahorse family reunited! Hermione swore to the Goddess that if she ever met Semeru's parents, she would lure them into a glue trap and feed them to an orca. But, she knew she had to mask her anger. If Semeru picked up on it, the shark may never open up to her again.

Thunder rumbled overhead, startling the farmer. Hermione supposed the meteorologist had been right that morning.

Semeru paused, as if considering whether or not to say what was on his mind. "Tell anyone, and I'll deny it, but...." he sighed. "I can sing. Calmed Poseidon down all the time on stormy nights."

Semeru could sing? Hermione definitely didn't see that coming. "Awww, was the poor thing scared?"

Semeru nodded. Come to think of it, Hermione remembered Macy making a throwaway comment at the last beach clean up about her pet lobster Stephen being afraid of storms. Coincidence?

Neither were quite sure how it happened, but they eventually ended up sitting on the floor in a tender embrace, with Semeru gently taking Hermione's backpack off and burying his face into her neck.

"Semeru, are you falling asleep?" Hermione whispered.

Semeru used the last of his strength to nod. Hermione was sure he was trying to remind her not to take his exhaustion personally, but instead, what could only be called "word soup" came out of his mouth.

Hermione hugged the shark tighter and began to rub his back. "Shhh, just relax. Sleep if you need it, sweetheart." Hermione hadn't meant for the same pet name she had given the seahorse fry to slip out, but there was no taking it back now.

As if needing the farmer's permission, Semeru drifted off to sleep, gentle snores filling Hermione's ears.

°°°°

Until it happened to her, Hermione never would have guessed that tails went numb like legs, but here she was. The only movement Hermione allowed herself other than breathing was rubbing the sleeping captain's back, occasionally switching arms once one became exhausted.

Hermione sighed. She knew it would be a pot-meet-kettle situation if she were to call him out for overworking since she was running off of 2 hours of sleep, leftover pizza, and enough caffeine to give an elephant a heart attack, but taking every night patrol offered without rest, on top of training the new recruits? No wonder Semeru had dozed off in her arms.

Thank Goddess she had finally ditched that bulky wetsuit. Not only would she never have to worry about running out of air again, but now she could hold Semeru properly, actually feel his skin. Having a tail was definitely taking some getting used to, though, as happy as her inner 6 year old was when she finally earned it.

Hermione covered Semeru's ears to prevent the knock on his doorframe from waking him up. She greeted Deno with a nod, then explained her situation by pointing downward. The farmer watched Deno visibly relax, then pull his blanket back. Working together, the girls put him to bed.

Hermione muffled her giggles, her anger at Semeru's backstory temporarily forgotten at the sight of a stuffed lobster on his nightstand. She tucked it into Semeru's arms, waved Deno goodbye, then left the barracks.

That afternoon, as an outlet for her rage, Hermione completed her Band of Smiles initiation in an hour, blowing Mark's record out of the water.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi I have always been super sensitive to people's comments. That is really annoying for me but I don't really know how to deal with those emotions and thoughts because somebody would just make a joke of me (maybe just a funny joke) but that stays in my mind for a long time. I don't want to take what people say personally so, can you please give me how to stop being so sensitive and start treating jokes just as jokes. Hope you have a good day.

Hi love. I'm sorry to hear that people are making jokes at your expense. Please know, though, that learning how to not take others' words personally and expecting others to treat you with respect are not mutually exclusive standards/boundaries to uphold in your interactions and relationships with others.

To not take others' words personally, remember that most people's comments about others are a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Individuals who frequently criticize others or feel the need to put others down for their own pleasure typically are projecting their own self-hatred, negative self-talk, and low self-esteem. Take others' sentiments are a reflection of their self-concept, inner world, thoughts, and experiences – you rarely have anything to do with you.

However, with that being said, you have every right to be upset at someone's "joke" about you and let the person know that their comment upset you. While I don't know the types of remarks people are making towards you and the intention behind these statements, you have every right to share that these comments make you feel upset or uncomfortable. If someone is actively making fun of you or trying to put you down, do not tolerate this disrespect. Stand up for yourself. Call them out.

Please start valuing your needs. While people are still going to do and say these please, you have the right to do the same.

If you're being triggered by very impersonal, benign comments, it's worth exploring why these comments are so triggering to you. Those remarks will come up in life and you just have to understand that it says more about the person making the "joke" than anything about you personally, your appearance, actions, or intentions. Some people will box you into a certain role to self-validate their internal life narrative –nothing you do or say will change their minds, so you just have to understand that this person chooses to have blinders on and has not done the internal work to deeply self-reflect/see outside of themselves.

However, especially if these comments are solely directed at you, once you let others know you're uncomfortable, you have every right to walk away from the situation if your discomfort doesn't make them stop and respect your interpersonal/conversational boundaries.

If you're ever unsure if you're taking a comment too personally, try this gut-check exercise. Ask yourself: If a friend or a loved one told you a similar remark was made to them as you just heard expressed to you, how would you react? Would you be more inclined to tell your friend they're overreacting or be appalled that someone would speak to someone you love in this manner? Let your answer to this question guide you to a more objective and self-loving interpretation/response to these comments.

Hope this helps xx

[s-exy-sapphillean]

Not trying to start an argument or anything so please don’t take it that way.

I think you have a flawed idea of what is being depicted with Andrew’s medication. It is a whole thing with Andrew’s character that he has been failed by the medical/justice/foster system. That is a very real thing that happens. Just because Nora made some things up to illustrate what she was trying to depict doesn’t make the thing she’s depicting any less real.

He is canonically bipolar. His medicine or he himself are implied to be misdiagnosed. Again something that happens irl. It is an ongoing thematic thing for Andrew to be misrepresented and misunderstood. With his family and the foxes it’s seeing him as a monster. For the medical system it’s seeing him as psychotic rather than him being bipolar with cptsd.

It’s not inherently demonization to depict real flaws in the system in especially not when we see Andrew getting help from people in that same system. (Bee) I’m just saying that the book itself shows both good and bad working in the same system. It’s morally gray I. A way that you seem to dismiss and frame as a black and white issue.

The point im trying to make is that nobody is trying to say that we should look at aftg uncritically rather that we should, but it’s also important to not dismiss what Nora is trying to get across with the information displayed just because the way she went about given us the information is not the pinnacle of moral purity.

(Idk I’m sorry for leaving this rambling mess in your ask box but I think this is a really interesting idea you posed and wanted to offer an alternative view point. No hate or anything i actually really like your account :D )

You see, the thing is that you just addressed a whole lot of complaints that i did not voice.

Of course nora's intentions were to write about the medical system and mental health treatment failing andrew. And there's nothing wrong with that specifically because those are very real issues people with mental illness experience, it's literally something i have experienced. The thing with that however, and what the actual issue is, is that you can't just go "well it's meant to comment on real issues" when beyond the surface level there is nothing real about what is presented and anything based in reality is overshadowed by the amount of shit that's made up.

Because it is abundantly clear both by how it is written and by how nora has talked about andrew's mental illness that she did not care to research actual experiences instead of just going with what she thought she already knew/what she assumed.

You can not both have "well it's okay to make stuff up, it's just supposed to illustrate something not be about the real thing" and "andrew is canonically bipolar" simultaneously. If you are going to use real disorders you better do them justice. Our disabilities and mental illness don't exist to be used as plot devices.

Andrew is not written like he is bipolar (and let's remember that it is nora who calls him bipolar, not what he has been misdiagnosed as in universe). His mania literally only comes from his medication and it is emphasized repeatedly when he gets around to getting sober that he does not experience this mania naturally off his meds. That is not how bipolar works. It's also not how being wrongfully medicated for "being psychotic" works.

Hi, i'm someone who takes antipsychotics. I am also someone who has been affected by how much antipsychotic meds have been fearmongered (needing antipsychotic meds when everywhere you look they get depicted as something that fundamentally changes you as a person is scary as fuck & keeps people hesitant about taking medication that will vastly improve their life). And yeah being falsely put on antipsychotics can be devastating but there are no meds that will turn you into a violent manic who experiences constant forced amusement, even if they're falsely prescribed to you. What antipsychotics generally do (besides bad physical side effects) when falsely prescribed is make you feel loopy and tired, suppress sensations like hunger, raise anxiety, cause emotional numbness, make it difficult to think and make you feel nauseous (not in the way andrew does because he only feels sick when they wear off). I have seen people who were falsely put on pretty high doses describe it as feeling trapped in their own mind, and the sedative effects have been blamed for deaths in misuse cases involving older patients. Ironically if andrew was actually bipolar, some antipsychotics could help him because they do have mood stabilizing effects.

Additionally the way his medication is essentially described like a state prescribed ecstasy dose. Yes there is plenty of medication that can be addicting and yes going off them can be rough and dangerous but it's written as if he has a severe drug addiction (describing him as high, the way his "withdrawal" manifests, the process of him being taken off the meds being almost treated like he's getting an addiction treated). And it is, in my opinion, incredibly fucking harmful to depict medication like that. She did not have to do all that to write about a misdiagnosis and wrong medication because that's not how that works when that stuff actually happens.

The ableism andrew faces in universe is not at all what i take issue with. Yes the use of slurs and the way other characters demonize him is uncomfortable as fuck but that is in universe and in character ableism, and believe it or not, i can tell the difference between that and ableist writing.

I understand that nora wanted to write about another part of the system failing andrew, and that just like all the other shit andrew has been through she used issues that exist irl, that real people go through. I don't think nora contributed to deliberate malicious demonization. But you cannot convince me she actually put in any proper research, effort and care into writing him as bipolar (if that was even actually what she had in mind when writing him and not just what she decided to label him when people asked). And that is something i consider careless ableism.

Misrepresenting real mental illness that you explicitly named IS ableist. Misrepresenting how psychiatric medication works IS ableist and harmful. Mentally ill people being subjected to medical abuse, misdiagnosis and malpractice IS a very real issue and that rly just makes making shit up as you go instead of representing the actual real horrors of those experiences even worse.

Either make up the whole thing and don't throw around the names of real disorders or put in the effort to do what you chose to use as a plot device actual justice.

I don't think that's too much to ask as a person who is affected by how much misrepresentation of real disorders there already is, and I don't think it's a reach to say not caring enough to do it better is ableist.

(i am generally an intense person and topics like this in particular make me get heated. I do not care to police my own tone but that does not mean i have anything against u personally or against u trying to talk about this further)

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello! Adventurer anon again! :D

I wasn't expecting Reader to have this epiphany that Adventurer is sabotaging Reader's budding relationship nor be aware of his plans to kill, but I did think maybe the whole experience would have triggered a small crack in Reader's perception and idolization(maybe adoration?) of Adventurer. I mean, Reader does realize how much Richard has changed (for the worse) because of Adventurer, but then almost backtracks to appease him?

So, even though Jesse was successful, it would've been nice to see a seed of doubt planted in the back of Reader's mind, not because she suspects him of being a Yandere, but because, 'Richard's an asshole now directly because of you and that lessens my opinion of you, even if it's just a little bit. Maybe Richard spending more time with you isn't a good thing?' (But of course we, actual readers, know the truth lol)

I suppose I was expecting a subtle shift in Reader's perception of Jesse? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want things to be too easy for him lol

I didn't intend to make criticisms so please don't take my comments as anything negative because this is just me thinking out loud and reacting to your story. If anything, this proves that the drabble is great, because here I am still churning over Jesse's character and his relationship with Reader during my lunch break lol

But intention is different from reality, and looking back, my words do come off as criticisms so I'm sorry for that!

Thank you for discussing your characters with me and taking time to add to these little worlds you share with us! <3

AAAH, NO BECAUSE THAT IS DEFINETLY AN AFTERMATH THAT HAPPENS (also, I don't mind criticism and I do welcome it! Your words were very helpful so don't apologize!) AND I DO LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND DEFINETLY WANT TO EXPAND ON THEM.

Jesse got rid of Richard, yes, but now he's facing himself with a different problem: the fact that he overlooked how your opinion would change of him. Yes, you don't know exactly WHAT happened but Jesse looked just as emotionally distressed as you were and seemed just as upset about you, blaming himself, and even going as far as to cut contact for a bit just so you'd comfort him and tell him that Richard's death wasn't his fault but you do realize that the only reason Richard changed was because of Jesse.

Men sometimes act a certain way because they seek validation from other men but you can't help but think about how Jesse never outright called Richard out on his behavior. Maybe he wanted to approach it gently but if so, that wouldn't make sense considering whenever one of the older staff made a remark Jesse didn't like, Jesse would respond immediately with a sharp and witty response. Yet he never did that when Richard would boast and brag, just staring at Richard from the corner of his eye before giving you a timid smile as if being all: "This guy, am I right?"

Of course Jesse was human but something about him dulls in your eyes. He must've been traumatized especially since he told you how much he tried to prevent Richard from being so reckless but Jesse had told you stories of how he saved people from collapsing temples and cursed objects but he couldn't save one wannabe adventurer? Oh well, maybe you were thinking too much into it.

Still, you don't want history to repeat itself so whenever you make a guy friend or start talking to a guy; you never drop Jesse's name nor do you even think about talking to him about the guy you're seeing. When Jesse wants to make plans with you, you tell him that you can't because you had other affairs, and whenever he tries to coax an answer out of you, you just give him an equally playful response before bidding him goodnight. His smile drops as soon as you leave because he knows something is up.

He's been finding hairs that don't match your length and color on your things, the way you'd shop online for nice outfits or accessories, and when he decides to just covertly go over to your place just to investigate a bit more, he sees you with someone else who kisses you goodnight and drives off.

Jesse'll get rid of them too, just like he got rid of good ol' Richie but his heart is broken that you didn't tell him a damn thing. He wants to ask you about the next morning but bites his tounge, it'd be easier if you thought he didn't know. He also notices the difference in how you treat him, you're not as enchanted by him and he realizes his jokes don't make you laugh as much, just a friendly and amused smile but that's it.

He'll have to be more careful with this one because he hates how that glimmer of adoration has lost it's shine in your eyes.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

I don't usually do asks, but you know what? I'm breaking the silence for you.

No you're not overreacting, as much as people call this statement dramatic but please, listen to your gut feeling. If he said it in a way that made you uncomfortable, and raised a few red flags you're probably right.

Now I'm not telling you "oh he needs to go, leave the man" which if you want to it's totally up to you, but we want to do some thinking (is it the first time he said something like this? Was his tone suggestive? Is his tone usually suggestive in normal conversation?) In the end you're the one talking to him and you're the one who can judge him better.

Now if it was just a curious question, which is a bit odd but not everyone's the same, he might have just asked and laughed nervously at the question. Yes it is questionable but it mightve been random and you see it that way because it's a sensitive topic for you.

Either way I'm just a stranger on tumblr that heard four sentences from your conversation and doesn't know anything about your relationship to this person so I can't decide for sure what that was but I hope this helps you at least.

Have a nice day ♡♡

hi, love 😊 firstly, thank you for taking the time not only to read my post but to come into my inbox to reassure me, especially when you don't usually send asks! it means a lot!

it was the first time he made a comment like that, more than having a suggestive tone, I thought it was like a stupid attempt to like not take the topic so serious (as much men do in my experience) his tone has never been suggestive before that (or after) I don't think it was a curious question, more like just trying to make a joke

I ended up telling him that his question had made me feel uncomfortable and the fac that he laughed even more. I told him this was a very sensitive topic for me and the only reason why I told him was because I was going to eventually if this went further and that I believed it wasn't his intention to make me feel that way but I didn't want to be one of those people who just changes and stops talking to someone because I liked him and I preferred to put it all out there

tbh just sending that made me feel better. he then replied and apologized, he said he noticed how my tone changed and he knew he had fucked up and he would be more careful and considerate. he said that he uses the laughter message like a crutch and it doesn't necessarily mean he was laughing at the matter (which I had actually noticed, he laughs after every text 😂)

so I told him that it was okay, just that this was a hard topic for me to talk about, especially with men, and that I was already anxious about having to tell him and his answer didn't help

he apologized again and said that I could talk to him when I felt comfortable about it if I did and if I didn't want to he would understand and respect that as well and that he would work harder so I would feel comfortable and safe with him

so, all in all I'm a bit more distant and careful but I thought his apology was sincere and he actually meant it, so we'll see where it goes. I did feel 100 times better just by telling him, I didn't want to keep that to myself because it just felt wrong

so thank you again so much for taking the time to read my post and give me your input! I received so much support and love from a lot of people here and it meant the world even if I had stopped talking to him ❤️❤️

I hope you have a lovely day!

[little-bloodied-angel]

First of all, the "thick skin" comment was only in regards to stuff like people hating on your ships and I did qualify "from what I've seen". I didn't intend to imply that you're not affected by things and I'm sorry if it came off that way.

And I never argued that people should not be entitled to their opinions and to expressing those opinions wherever they want. I just think using some tags because you don't know what will upset or even trigger someone isn't a stretch, it's being civil; and sometimes people aren't even able to avoid that content until after they've seen it precisely because of the tagging issue. Of course, the person in question should ask politely and not come in with demands, but I think "your feelings aren't my responsibility" applies more to "you were warned about this content so I'm not responsible if you choose to consume it" rather than "I don't care if you're upset and I shouldn't do anything to make a fandom space more comfortable or easy to navigate". Again: if you putting something in a tag on Tumblr only appeared on your blog, I wouldn't even think of having this discussion, because the tag could just be blocked in your blog with no other issue, but politely asking someone to add a word to a tag so they don't have to choose between blocking the whole tag, a whole blog they otherwise enjoy, or being upset or triggered without warning, isn't that much to ask. You can't curate your own experience, particularly in fandom spaces, if nobody cooperates with you. I've seen people argue that if you get triggered you should just not participate in fandom using the "your feelings are not my responsibility" argument, and that's just unfair. Again, people should ask politely, but Tumblr is not a podcast or a YouTube channel where you simply don't click on something that will make you feel like that. If people misuse tags then you see those things with no warning or you have to stay out of the tag entirely. If the intention isn't to provoke, upset or trigger people on purpose then it doesn't cost much to add a word or a tag to avoid exactly those things. Same with fanfic sites: the warnings should be on the tags, or at least tagged as "chose not to tag".

Like I said, if I worded a request like in the previous example, as calmly and politely as possible, and the person I'm asking essentially told me to fuck off because their feelings are not their problem, I don't think I'd be the one in the wrong. I just don't think someone should be sent crying or even having a panic attack to "deal with it themselves" if two extra seconds on someone else's part could avoid it. That's precisely why we tried to make the "anti (x)" and "(x) critical" tags commonplace, so that people could criticize, vent, or even rant or bash to their heart's content without the actual fan tag being flooded with negativity. That's not making someone responsible for your feelings; that's when you were warned, interacted with the content anyway, and then went rant at the person who made it about how dare they make the content in the first place.

I'm really not trying to antagonize you here. You've actually done that exact thing before, with me specifically, most likely because I asked politely. Most recent example: I told you certain wording in a possible Charmine fic came off as classist, which I was sure was not your intention, and maybe it would be better to change it because it was really uncomfortable to read, and you agreed and changed the wording without changing the sentiment. So I assume that if I asked you with the same level of politeness "hey could you please add this tag? You know your blog is one of my favorites, but I just can't stand to see (whatever), it's really upsetting to me", without criticizing you as a person, your opinion, or anything else, you'd do the same. The issue is not asking but demanding, imho, and it's also quite a different thing to ask someone to tag something than to say "you shouldn't be writing that", obviously. Again, the "there's a human being behind the screen" applies to both people. That's all I mean. And it doesn't hurt anybody to try and make online spaces a bit easier/safer to navigate; not by censoring things, I'll be the last to advocate for that, but simply by giving a heads up that that's what you're talking about.

Stuff kids on tumblr better relearn

1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 

2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you - but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.

3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.

4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves - you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine - but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.

5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.

[cidbillie]

i'm posting this stupid video just for posterity. i didn't make this, but my character, sids, is featured in it. she was my persona and a parody of myself. my real name is cid. i kindly ask that no one ever call me "sids" again.

the read-more is going to be long. i just want to finally put my story out there, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

my friend lionessjenna or nenna / jennabee made it. it was very popular at the time it was made. if you were wondering what happened to lionessjenna, last i heard about her she was making money off of drawing anime cp. sorry to everyone who idolized her at the time. i don't know what she's doing now or if she's changed. i can only say i recommend not looking into her.

we all made fun videos like this with our characters and developed a following. my character sids in particular became a fan favorite and she was usually the butt of the jokes we made. i was 14 when we began making stuff together. 4chan would inevitably find this video and also developed an obsession for sids. they made sids the "queen of /jp/" for a time and drew a bunch of p*rn of her. they drew a bunch of p*rn... of me, essentially. when i was 16. you can still find it, too. the p*rn... i wouldn't mind if that was gone forever. i will not be saving it for posterity. lol

then they doxxed me, made fake accounts pretending to be me, and both of my friends featured in this video would leave me to date those abusers. i never realized at the time how deeply this would hurt me.

and for the record, i don't talk to the third girl, and i won't mention her by name, but i still love her with all my heart. she was a positive force in my life, despite everything. on my old tumblr, i think i still follow her. nenna (this is what people called her at the time) however was 7 years older than the both of us, and put us both in a very dangerous situation with this video. then she went on to draw cp. i'm mentioning her if only to warn people about the dangers about being friends with adults online, and idolizing random people online.

i will say this, though. we were all traumatized kids, and the internet put too much power in our hands. i forgive both of them, and i hope they're both doing well. it's been probably over ten years since i last heard anything regarding nenna, and i'm not friends with anyone anymore who would still be in that friend circle. nenna, i know i aired out your dirty laundry, but i only did so under your old username. i have no intent of finding who you are now and bringing it all to light. i'm only posting this video as a way for me to heal from it and move on. (and ftr if you find anyone under a similar name, that still may not be her. it's been a really long time. please just leave nenna alone. i want to assume she's doing better)

i deleted everything because of this video. i didn't want to be known anymore.

but now i do. i want to be known for me and not just a parody of myself. i'm trying to create again, and i have a story i want to write that i have been working on based on my experiences growing up as a very-micro-celebrity online. i feel like i'm overstating my "success" at the time, but that was kind of what it felt like to me.

but it's hard, you know? revisiting trauma is never easy. but because of this video, i lost my drive to create. i lost so many things i cared about. i lost the ability to be myself. you can probably assume considering i spent my childhood online that i didn't have a great home life either. i won't get into that.

i revisted this video because someone on youtube was kind enough to repost it after all three of us inevitably deleted our accounts, and i've been recounting my trauma in therapy. the comments all ask where weve been off to. most of them only mention jenna, because while i took a step away from the limelight after the doxxing, she continued to make videos after the /jp/ raid and gained a huge following with a bunch of big original youtube animators at the time.

i want to say i was never a perfect person, and when you live your entire childhood on the internet, your mistakes never really go away. i don't think i ever did anything atrocious or evil, but i still had my problems, and i'm sure there are plenty of people that are still out in the world who would be glad to share.

but right now, this is a plea for help, i suppose. a plea for peace. i just want to move on. i've become recently disabled, and i was forced to leave my career because i can't walk. because of this and therapy, i've been trying to make a return to creating. i loved creating. it still makes me happy to see people comment on old videos asking where i am today. i never respond to them, but knowing i haven't been forgotten is what's giving me the strength right now to type all of this.

it's very likely no one will see this post. it's very likely this will be buried in the ocean of posts that make up the entire internet. but right now it feels like deadweight in my lifeboat, and i need to get it out.

"why post this video if you don't want to known for it?" and the answer to that is... i don't know. there are a lot of internet events that happened in my life where someone else got to write the story behind it. i guess i just wanted to write mine. i wanted it out there. i wanted to be known.

[sophiepatztone]

Week 4: September 26th

This week I focused on narrowing down my topic. I took my MoMA "poems" and made posters out of them:

I reflected on the Bianca Bosker book talk notes I took last week. Biggest takeaways:

I can feel art's barrier to entry, like walking into a gallery asking myself if i can be there

It’s easy to disregard the process that takes an artist from nothing to finished product. I think that’s where some of the gap exists in culture is that people only see a finished product and not the thoughts, ideas, and intentions behind it. 

I agree, artists are treated as “impractical dreamers.” If people look and them and see wasted time, I would urge them to consider their own interests. What kinds of things do narps spend time, money, and energy on that is comparable to art? 

She said “Artists create images that introduce incongruities, such as a plate of sushi made with eyes instead of fish. Artists defy our expectations, such as by sticking a pearl-clad woman in wrestling helmet inside a padded room.” That reminded me of a youtube video I watched a few weeks ago about understanding Contemporary art

I read through my notes and the comments on the video and it was really negative it just made me mad 💀 And I questioned if this was really my problem to solve. I still don't even understand some Contemporary art and I think some of it is stupid.

“Criticism is nothing more than having a template and putting it over the new art and seeing what matches up” -Diana Bush

I tried to form a point of view:

The gap in knowledge around Contemporary art is how to educate people who don’t understand it. My research focus is propaganda and aggressive forms of marketing, from the point of view of a marketer.

Why don’t we play into the narrative that contemporary art is unattainable, something that only highly educated people can understand? Make it an inside joke.

And I did a study based on this point of view:

I can't help but wonder if I'm am fighting a losing battle! Who cares if people don't understand art?

I think this is something I can explore through form. Anything I make is going to be considered Contemporary Art just due to the fact that I'm making it now. Do I really want to make Contemporary art about Contemporary Art?

One other thing I observed last week at the MoMA was people taking photos of the art. Not really news to anyone, but why are we spending more time taking pictures of art and us in front of the art instead of looking at it? To prove we've been there? Same vibe as taking a photo of the professor's notes on the board and then never going back to it. Or taking full videos of concerts or fireworks. Who is actually going back and looking at that?

Camera Tourists come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them don’t really care to see the art. They just want pictures to post on social media so they can say, “Look what I got to see today."

According to Psychologist Linda Henkel, there’s a psychological reason why you remember less when you take more pictures — she’s dubbed it the “photo-taking impairment effect”, and even tested it out in her own experiment.

I tried to rework my POV. I am stuck. Give me feedback please.

Appropriation artists. "Pop artists reveled in reproducing, juxtaposing, and repeating everyday images from popular culture in their wide-ranging work."

Our interactions with art in a gallery setting and how social media has changed our interactions with it.

License plate letters that flash when traffic cams try to take a photo of them

This is kinda coming full circle back to the subtopic of commodification. There’s something here that I’m not seeing.

How social media devalues artwork 

Does appropriation devalue or give new meaning? 

Help.

[asdear]

Thanks to a dream I had last night, I had the random idea of how I'd rewrite Avon Hertz's character if I could change him entirely.

And personally, I feel like his personality was poorly written anyway, like someone at Cockstar was like, "Let's make him a narcissist and just throw every stereotype of narcissism for his character. Also, let's make it obvious from his personality that he's trying to do something shady."

Because yes, I see Avon's personality like that. I see it as being poorly written or forced that it just easily gives away his true colors. Even when I played The Doomsday Heist for the very first time years ago, I had a bad feeling about Avon almost right away. 🫠

(Also, this is the part of my dream that inspired me to make this post. Just the way he calmly walks by his cyborg/robot things who "died." His canon self would've just cowardly run out.)

Anyway, this is how I'd reimagine Avon:

I would still make him a narcissist, but a more realistic one, with some characteristics/vibes of El Rubio, including being more threatening and violent (especially verbally). Basically, he presents as being a modest, sophisticated, and "good" guy, but in reality, he's much more evil, sadistic, and manipulative.

I especially would take out most of his narcissistic comments so that he talks less about himself or trying to do something "good" for the world. I feel like if he hid his selfish comments most of the time, it would make him less aggravating to listen to. Also, knowing from experience, narcissists usually like to hide their narcissistic side anyway.

Anytime he's questioned about his intentions/anything he's doing, instead of throwing a fit with something like, "Why are you questioning me? Do you not trust me? How pathetic do you have to be to not have faith in someone trying to do something good for humanity?", he may instead say something like...

"You have no idea what I'm trying to do. Please just trust me, I'm begging you. I know you may have trust issues with me, but it's okay - we all have trust issues, and there's no shame in that. I promise you that you'll gain your trust in me after you see what I'm doing. I'm not going to break that promise with you."

So yeah, he doesn't focus on verbally attacking the person in all of his sentences. Especially with the "trust issues" parts, he throws in those words, plus using "supportive" comments, to gaslight them.

In other cases, he straight-up intimidates the person. If no one else is around, he gets close to them and makes threatening comments. He may say something like, "Either you show trust in me, or I'll show you that you would regret not trusting me."

However, if he's around other people, he'll laugh it off as a joke while still hinting that he'll do something to them, such as, "Oh, man. Don't you love people sometimes? Trust issues and social blindness are one hell of a problem. I'm sure some sort of karma will get to them for not seeing what I'm trying to do."

He also flatters/charms the protagonists sometimes, such as, "I do not know what I'd do without you, so thank you for this," "I couldn't have anyone else getting these tasks done; you guys are all I need," "I'm the only one who understands what dangers you may exactly face in these missions. I care about you guys, and I don't want you getting hurt or killed. Whatever you do, please be careful when getting these things for me," or, "As much as I need these things, I worry about you guys. Has anyone else you worked for told you that? If not, I'm the one who has said that. Remember that I will always care about you when no one else does." Again, using a tactic like this to be manipulative/pretend to be worried or caring for the protagonists.

If he hurts someone, most notably mentally, he'll say, "I did not mean to hurt you," even though he did mean it. He'll even say, "Please stop overreacting/being dramatic," if the person gets angry at him for it.

When betraying the protagonists, instead of what he says in the game, he says in a sarcastic tone, "Well, how exactly did you make that up, Bogdan? I'd like to know. An older man like you must be so wise and smart. Am I right?" Then, he laughs and says, "Do your thing, Cliffford." Cliffford then initiates self-destruction on the submarine, promoting Bogdan and the protagonist(s) inside to escape. Especially after Avon's "do your thing" comment, Cliffford then takes control of every defense network in San Andreas, just like in the game.

When Act 3 occurs, he doesn't talk most of the heist, though he'll occasionally throw in some calm threats or manipulative comments. These threats/verbal attacks and manipulative comments may be stuff like...

"Just know that humanity will be wiped out, and you all will be burned alive and dragged down to hell."

"I'll make sure my men put holes in your fucking heads!"

"I gave you money for acquiring things for me. We both gained something out of all of this. Why can't you appreciate that we were being equal and fair with each other?"

"Laughs You're going to regret coming after me, my friends."

"How adorable - some mute psychopaths trying to be good for once and save their precious world. Adorable... but how pathetic."

When he's escaping, he doesn't announce it, but the supporting characters (Lester, Agent 14, and Mrs. Rackman) can still detect that he's escaping.

When the characters confront him, he keeps his signature lines when escaping with a jetpack. I figured this part would still fit him, even as a rewritten character.

Yeah, this is how I envision him if he was a more interesting character. Lowkey, I like this version of Avon more, like he just feels like a realistic narcissist and also feels more like a threat.

In my opinion, his canon character doesn't feel all that threatening, especially since he's a massive coward and childish; it just "takes away"/decreases his sadistic side and makes him feel less threatening. So, I just thought I'd reimagine him as someone more evil and threatening. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And yes, as I said, I took inspiration from El Rubio's personality and threw it onto Avon. I feel like Avon being a mix of a realistic narcissist and an incredibly deranged and violent sociopath/psychopath would make him more interesting as an antagonist. 🤔

[faegana]

#FAEGANA is an indie, selective, au & canon divergent MORGANA LE FAY of bbc merlin & arthurian legends. by belle. she/her, 21+. ( high activity. ) this blog may contain dark themes. a mature audience is advised. this blog will only write with those 21+. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 & 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈. rules / bio / verses info are under the read more.

blogroll:

@loveindomitable + @legeandary

affilliates:

@unwaivering + @magikheir

memes.         threads.         promo.

001.    – a highly selective indie Morgana Le Fay blog. established since 2014. the tracked tag for this blog is #FAEGANA. discord is available upon request. this blog is a multifandom, multiverse, crossover, oc & duplicate friendly account. 

002.    – I will tag each post as the muse that is being used for an easy tagging system. I am mostly iconless and I may use small gifs from time to time as well. I will likely some bolds or italics when need be and small text, that's as much as I do as far as formatting goes. I am willing to use regular text as well if that is easier for my writing partners.

003.    – drama, hate, callouts and blog policing is NOT TOLERATED here. let's keep rp as a fun and creative experience. keep the drama to the characters.

004.    – if you are interacting with my starter calls, please leave a comment with the muse that you want the starter to be for if you are a mutlimuse. that makes it easier for me to make the starters. if you do not actually intend to reply to my starters, please don't have me make you one. and if you need me to change something about it, don't hesitate to ask. the same goes for ask memes as well, please specify the muse that you would like the ask to be answered with.

005.    – there are only a few things I may not follow you back for and they are as followed: not tagging posts, not having an age range on your blog anywhere and linking a form of payment somewhere. please note that I do read rules when I follow someone, that being said, I will no be sending in passwords.

006.    – while I do not require you to follow or interact with my other blogs, if I find that you have blocked them, I will likely end up softblocking or hardblocking you as I find this a form of breaking mutuals. speaking of other blogs, I do have another blog, plus I'm involved in some group rps as well. so you might see me around in other places where I also write.

007.    – FADE TO BLACK IS PREFERRED. romance leading up to sm/ut is okay. that being said, smut may be referenced on occasion, but I will not write it. that also being said, I do love writing romance, pun intended, I would just rather fade anything else to black.

008.    – If something is triggering to you & you would like it to be tagged, please don't be afraid to politely ask me to tag it. For tagged triggers I will use #TRIGGER CW. I currently do not have any triggers to be tagged.please note that the views of my character are not my own personal views. OOC=/=IC.

009.    – REBLOG FROM THE SOURCE. Please do not reblog a meme from me, especially if you have no intentions of sending me a meme in return. I understand if you can not find the original link, so an exception can be made in this case here. also please do not reblog memes from me if we are not mutuals.

010.    –  Please do not assume a character to be a relation to any of my characters unless it's been discussed. If your character is an oc sibling / child / etc., my character will not know them unless we've discussed this. that being said, canon relations are most definitely allowed. that being said, I am not entirely against this, I would just rather this sort of thing be discussed before interactions, especially if such a character drastically changes a canons background.

CREDITS.    – all graphics were made by me. and unless said otherwise, I'll credit the maker in the post, but currently everything was made by myself. graphics psd by JESSOURCE.

MUN.    – BELLE. 30+. EST. SHE/HER. I've been rping since 2006. I'm a crossover, oc & duplicate friendly account. I love exploring all things fantasy and slice of life alike. feel free to send me a meme or a starter to get things going. discord is available upon request. 21+ only. MINORS DO NOT FOLLOW.

BIOGRAPHY.

name: morgana le fay / lena walker (modern)

nickname: gana

birthday: tba

age: 18+ ( verse dependent )

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: bisexual

height: 5'6''

hair color: dark black

faceclaim: ka.tie mc.grath

canon divergent - daughter of goloris & vivienne

Born to King Goloris and Lady Vivienne. Morgana did not know much of her mother because she died a few years after she was born due to an illness, which often left her in the care of wet nurses anyway.

She lived with her father in Cornwall, where he ruled over the castle, up until he died by enemies of Camelot and due to a poor decision from King Uther. She was rightfully Princess, now Queen of Cornwall, but was never told it as she was too little to understand back then. As such, King Uther took Morgana in as his King’s Ward and she participated in meetings, balls and such as was requested by him.

She never liked that Uther had such a hatred toward magic, so when Morgana discovered her own magic years later, she was so frightened of it that if her half-sister hadn’t found her, she wasn’t sure if she would have ever gained control of it.

One thing was clear however, Uther needed to be stopped and Morgana sought the crown for herself along with her sisters help. Of course she cared about Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, but she knew that she needed to break off her connections with him so she ended up stepping away from the castle entirely after a siege had gone wrong.

When Morgana found out who Merlin truly was she felt a deep betrayal. If her sister had not come along, he could have at least helped her and yet he chose not to. Instead he had poisoned her, ruining her friendship and whatever she could have had with him entirely. She sought out vengeance, from Merlin who betrayed her and from Arthur who had her throne.

The battle of Camlann approached and Morgana entrusted Mordred to kill Arthur. He succeeded, but in her guilt, as she watched Merlin carry him away, she wished that things could have been different.

So she waited, lingering but keeping her distance from Merlin whom she knew would never trust her again and she mourned the loss of the King and Mordred, but hoped that one day they would all be brought together again.

VERSES.

vi: you don't want to know me i will just let you down.

&. this verse contains morgana as mentioned above. she is canon divergent, meaning she is the daughter of goloris & vivian as was indicated in the beginning of the bbc show merlin.  

vi: only a mad man hears the truth as treason.

&. morgana pendragon – alternative, following the show canon verse.

vi: a modern lady.

&. this verse will pertain to any timelines where morgana is in modern times or has been reincarnated. 

vi: a princess of circumstances.

&. a verse where morgana is adopted into the pendragon family in modern times.

vi: bridergton

&. bridgerton verse tba

vi: rwrb verse

&. rwrb verse tba

[gb-patch]

Hi, the 'refund ask' person here. Please don't feel pressured to give an answer, I just want to clarify and apologize for a few things, for whoever is behind this acc, reading and taking their time to give detailed answers :)

First, I am sorry, truly, for coming across as a rude person who would scam a small business, and such valuable creators and artists. It was not my intention. I didn't think of it in the moment, I didn't even think that my question would be answered. (Which obviously changes nothing because you would still read it, and it apparently took me a while to realize, but you are a real person. A personal 'sorry' here.)

Like you said, it definitely was an 'it doesn't hurt to ask' mindset that I wrote the question with. Thank you for assuming I meant well, I really did. But I do see my fault now, so really, really thanks for taking your time to explain it in detail. In retrospect, no matter how 'well' I meant, I was in the wrong. To put it mildly, I was ignorant. It feels stupid to say it, but I guess I needed to hear from someone that I couldn't just give someone money, take what they're offering, and ask for my money back. It wasn't how I viewed my question then, but it definitely is now. Also, they might not see this, but a sincere thank-you to the other people who commented on my ask, for making me see how wrong my words sounded when they weren't just in my head. It was a lesson learned, to say the least.

Also, please understand that I didn't mean to say it wasn't worth $5 for 'just a moment', even though I did say it that way. I see how I could've worded that differently. Each and every moment of the story is super important to me, and believe me, I do think thay they all are worth way more than what you're charging, or mostly, not charging. However, it was silly and greedy to ask you to just give away even more of those beautifully made moments. Of course it is your right to charge for your hard work, and I am actually glad you're doing so.

I know it doesn't change anything, or take back what I previously said (no matter how much I wish it could) but I really wanted to make sure you didn't think there was someone in your audience who would be willing to scam you and even shamelessly ask for permission to see if they could. Again, not the intention at all.

Finally, it is actually so nice to see that a small company like yours has a lot of supporters willing to defend it. My question definitely wasn't a scam attempt, but if it were, I'm so glad to see that it wouldn't succeed or go unnoticed.

I will keep on supporting you, albeit silently for the time being, and playing your games for as long as I can. Our Life is an absolute delight of an experience, it inspired me a bunch, helped me through some tough moments in my own life, and is a game that is far more than just a game to me. I can't wait to see what you put out there next. You guys are some of the best out there in my opinion. Love what you do, love the way you communicate with your audience, and love how you handle crises like this. Hope you all have very nice lives where you can create to your heart's content :)

Sorry for the drama I caused, and sorry again, bc this ask is too long :) Thank you for reading.

It's alright. You don't need to apologize. I'm happy you were sympathetic to where I was coming from and that's all I would want. You didn't upset me or cause me any harm and I absolutely don't want you feel unwelcome over asking a question. It took years to make a game that could make people happy, but in only minutes I can sour the experience for people forever with what I post in these ask answers. I hope to avoid that as much as possible.

Not long before you sent your answer, there was another ask about this that was understanding of your situation.

"Im NOT that anon but I'm kind of sad how many other anons are judging them and seem to be a bit eurocentric? not everyone who plays these games have the same currency or similar currency conversiom rate as someone whos family is from venezuela, $5 is barely enough to buy flour, rice, and fish so what may seem like pocket change to you might be all someone else could live on. scummy would be to do so without ask. just disappointed bc i thought this community was more open-minded"

I agree that money is a difficult thing to get and people can't be blamed for not being able, or simply not wanting, to use it on visual novel content. Though, it is also a sore spot for artists who are very familiar with people who flat out devalue their time/effort and think there's no reason to pay for it. It can be hard to always take the question of 'can I get your hard work for free?' with no frustration. But that wasn't the intention of the original question.

If it the question had gotten a different type of response people wouldn't have felt the need to come to my defense over it. At the end of the day, I'm the one who could've avoided this and answered the question in a way that left the asker and the other readers satisfied/informed. It went too far this time.

It's always hard to know how to manage these situations. When a question comes along about a touchy topic but I think it's important to answer, I try to make it definitive and also to make clear that this doesn't open the gates for future asks about this. If I don't, then inevitably more asks come in and I either have to keep addressing/arguing a topic or ignoring them without explanation. It can make a development blog about posting previews a pretty unpleasant place. But if I use one ask to make an overall statement, it can come across unnecessarily strong against the single question the asker sent in.

To the OP, I'm sorry for making you feel like what you did was a huge mistake. It really wasn't. It was a just question over a policy that was intended as neutral and ended up with extra meaning put on it because of outside circumstances/other people's prior and potential actions. I hope you're able to feel reassured after all of this.

And the last thing I'll say is that future asks commentating about the situation won't be posted.

Thank you again for playing!