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slut4thebroken · 1 year ago

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Nymphomania

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane x patient!reader

Summary | You been trying for months to get Dr. Crane to give in. After a bold attempt, he finally breaks.

Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, smut, age gap, doctor/patient relationship?, mentions of murder, reader is so horny and we’re here for it, degradation, humiliation, face fucking, deep throating, rough oral sex, slight dubcon? but only because he’s “reluctant”, filthy nasty disgusting oral sex😭

Words | 2.6 k

Notes | He’s about 38 in this fyi. Also I already have an idea for a second part but it’s not even started so don’t expect it any time soon lol

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Dr. Crane has been your psychiatrist for several months now. Ever since your first session, you’ve been completely smitten and you were never shy about showing it. At first he was uncomfortable with your forwardness and flirty behavior, but he quickly learned to just ignore it… and most of the time he’s successful. But every once in a while you’ll say something particularly bold and he’ll reprimand you with a blush.

Today was no different. You were brought to the usual room where your sessions take place and you waited eagerly for him to arrive. When the door finally opened and he walked in, you perked up, a giddy smile making its way on your face.

“How are you today?” He asked as he set down his things, then sat across from you.

“Better now that you’re here.” You put your elbow on the table and rested your chin on your hand, staring up at him through your lashes. “How are you?”

“Busy. Shall we get started?” The dismissal was not lost on you… but you’ve never been one to cooperate.

“You sound stressed, doctor. Maybe I can help you relax?” You purred, slowly extending your leg to brush your foot over his shin, sliding it up. He pushed your foot back down, then moved his chair back a little as he cleared his throat.

“Behave.” He warned, making your lips curl up into a smirk.

“For you? Always.” He scoffed at that, but he can’t blame you for not behaving. Not when it’s not even your fault. “It’s not my fault I act like this.” You said defensively.

“No?”

“I wouldn’t be so needy if you’d just help me out every once in a while.” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of taking care of that yourself.”

“I don’t like doing it myself, it’s not the same. Need you, doctor.” Your gaze shifted to his lips before settling on his hands, examining the veins leading up into his arms, covered by his suit. You wished the table wasn’t here so you could see all of him though.

“Need your cock.” You suddenly looked at his eyes again and the only indication you got that he was affected by your words was the slight bob of his throat as he swallowed. “Please, Dr. Crane.” You pouted, leaning forward a little, wishing your top was lower to help you out.

“If you need to be fucked so bad, you shouldn’t have killed four people and gotten yourself stuck in here.” He said, sounding almost bored.

“I didn’t kill people, I killed men.” You said, now much more annoyed, but quickly brought your tone back to something sweeter. “And I guess I just thought at least one hot guy in here would be willing to fuck me. I didn’t plan on having my options completely limited to you.”

“How are they limited?”

“Because I don’t want anyone else! I just want you. And I can tell you feel the same, you’re just too obsessed with your job to act on it.” You frowned. He took in a deep breath through his nose and looked away from you as he thought.

“Come here.” He suddenly said, leaning forward while beckoning you to do the same. Once you were leaned over the table slightly, you let your eyes fall to his lips as you waited for his next move. “My job isn't the issue. It’s the fact that you’re a criminally insane little girl.” He said lowly, making you press your thighs together as you squirmed.

“I'm 20.” You defended weakly.

“Exactly. I was already a legal adult when you were born.”

“So? That just makes it hotter.” You said quietly, then bit your lip, staring up at him with wide, innocent eyes. He didn’t respond and you tried not to shrink under his gaze. After another moment you sighed and leaned back, his eyes following every movement carefully. When you pushed your chair back, he stiffened.

“What are you doing?” You slid down the chair to the floor, then crawled under the table. He started moving his chair back so you grabbed the legs to keep it in place. Because of his attempt to get away from you, you now had enough room to get out from under the table, but the space between it and the chair was small enough that your shoulders pressed against his spread legs.

“Please? I need your cock, Dr. Crane.” You pouted, placing your hands on his thighs and snaking them up. “I’ve been thinking about it every day for months. Please let me have a taste.” You did your best to hide your smirk as you stared up at him through your lashes. When you suddenly leaned forward and started mouthing at his cock through his clothing, he roughly grabbed your hair, making you whine and work even harder.

“Insatiable little slut.” He spat, wrenching your head back uncomfortably so that you were looking up at him again. Since you couldn’t use your mouth, you placed a hand on his bulge, making his grip on your hair tighten. You couldn’t help the open-mouthed smile that crept up on your face at the rough treatment. That seemed to only make him angrier though.

“Hands behind your back.” He ordered. You smirked and glanced down at your hand on his bulge, debating if you wanted to be a brat or not. When his grip got impossibly tighter, you released him and placed your hands behind yourself. You had a feeling that he would end up giving you what you want.

“You go a few months without it and turn into a cock hungry whore,” You moaned and squeezed your thighs together, looking up at him with a glint in your eyes. “Like a fucking bitch in heat.” He spat.

“Please, Dr. Crane.” You said through a moan. “Please, I need it.” Your gaze shifted between his face and his crotch hungrily.

“Stop talking.” He hissed.

“If you want me to shut up, you know what to do.” You smirked at him and he clenched his jaw, letting out a heavy breath through his nose. He seemed to be debating what to do— torn between not wanting to give you what you want and finally shutting you up.

“Take it out.” He ordered. You don’t think your hands have ever moved faster. They immediately shot out and started working on his belt, then the button, and finally the zipper. When his cock was finally free, you let out a low moan and tried to lean forward, but he stopped you with the hand in your hair. “Hands behind your back.” You whined but obeyed and he pulled you closer, using his free hand to fist his cock. You could smell him now and you knew that he could feel your panting breaths with how close you were.

“Please.” You mewled, shuffling closer.

“Move your hands and we’re done. Understand?” He warned. You didn’t know if he meant done right now, or done for good and you’ll be assigned to someone else, but both options sounded terrible.

“Yes, doctor.” You stared up at him through your lashes with wide, innocent eyes, silently pleading him to give you what you want.

He relented and pulled your head down as your mouth fell open, eagerly anticipating what you’ve been craving since you first arrived here. When you finally wrapped your lips around the tip, you moaned loudly at the taste and let your eyes flutter shut. You flicked your tongue over it, lapping up what little precum there was, then tried to swallow him down deeper. He stopped you with the hand in your hair and you let out a long, needy whine.

“Don’t be a brat.” You blushed at the tone he used to scold you, feeling like a child. You obeyed with a pout and mouthed at the tip of his cock, clasping your hands together so they wouldn’t subconsciously move from your back.

He started pushing you down, then back up, agonizingly slow. When you looked up at him again, he cursed under his breath and started moving you a little faster. You hollowed your cheeks and pressed your tongue against the underside of his cock, trying hard to impress him and earn his praise. But all you got was a soft sigh.

You whined, wanting to pull off so you could beg for more. He just shushed you and kept up the slow pace of shallow thrusts.

“Please.” You tried to say around him, the word coming out garbled and almost incoherent.

“What, this isn’t enough for you?” He suddenly pulled you off and you panted as you caught your breath.

“Fuck my throat.” You gasped out, cheeks heating up. “Please.” You added so it didn’t seem like a demand. He pushed you back down, resuming the original pace.

“I’m surprised it took murder for them to put you in here. I would’ve thought it’d be nymphomania.” You moaned at the subtle degradation and squeezed your thighs together, aching to reach a hand between your legs. He finally sped up, but kept his thrusts shallow, barely even brushing the back of your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked harder, trying to make it even better. “That’s it… Put that mouth to good use for once.” You didn’t let the insult deter you.

He suddenly forced you all the way down and you choked, not expecting it. Holding your hair tight enough to make your head throb, he kept you there, his cock buried so deep that your nose was against his pelvis. With the lack of air and the pressure on your gag reflex, your eyes were watering and you looked up at him with a muffled whimper, making him curse under his breath.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna cry? I thought you wanted this?” He sneered, making you whine. He pulled you back until just the tip was in your mouth and let you take in a deep breath before shoving you back down. Rather than holding you there, he started bobbing your head up and down his cock, breaching your throat barrier each time. You couldn’t help the way you gagged and choked, but you didn’t dare try to pull away.

“I thought a whore like yourself would’ve been good at this.” He said, disappointed. Your brows furrowed, not able to express your frown any other way. When he removed his hands, your expression turned into one of confusion. “Go ahead, nympho. Prove that you deserve to suck my cock.” You moaned around him, but quickly stepped up to the challenge.

You were moving much slower than he was, choking each time you forced yourself all the way down, but determined not to give up. When you looked up at him, he almost seemed bored as he watched you. You pulled off and he raised his brows in a silent question.

“Can I please use my hands?” You asked quietly, voice already hoarse.

“No.” With a pout, you shuffled closer and leaned down, this time aiming for his balls. His spit soaked cock rested on your face, furthering your humiliation and arousal. You licked at them before sucking one into your mouth, making him let out a pleased sigh. You worked it over in your mouth for a few seconds before moving to the other one to do the same.

You licked up along the underside of his cock with a small smirk— he was practically pulsing because of how hard he was. When you reached the tip, you licked up the precum with a low moan, then took him back in your mouth, immediately going all the way down.

He let you control the pace for a few more thrusts before grabbing your hair again and speeding up. When he let out a low groan, you quickly looked up to see his face, finding him with his lips slightly parted and his eyes half lidded and he stared down at you. He forced you all the way down, then held you there, and you whimpered around him, trying to control your gag reflex.

“Lick my balls.” You furrowed your brows, still looking up at him, and he all but rolled his eyes. “Fucking lick them.” He spat, jerking your head down even though your lips were already at the base. You stuck your tongue out and tried to obey, making him groan.

“There you go…” He placed both hands on the sides of your head for a better grip, then started roughly pulling you up and down. You choked and sputtered, but his grip was unmoving. “Fuck— Keep this up and I might just let this happen again.” He said through a breath, making your stomach flutter at the thought.

He continued using your mouth practically as a fleshlight, ignoring your gagging and muffled sounds, focusing solely on his orgasm. After what felt like minutes but was probably just seconds, you felt your body start to try and pull away from the brutal attack on your throat. Even though your mind didn’t want you to, your body was panicking. His moans grew louder and you begged your body to endure just a little longer, needing him to come down your throat.

“Stop fucking fighting it, bitch. You wanted this, so take it.” He growled, moving you faster and pushing you down harder. Your eyes burned with tears and it wasn’t long before they started falling, making him even more frenzied and desperate. His hips were bucking into you now as he forced your head up and down his cock, barely pulling you back more than halfway.

After only a few more thrusts, he forced you all the way down with a low groan, using both hands to keep you there with your nose buried in his pelvis. His hips would occasionally buck into you as he rode out his orgasm. You moaned at the feeling of his come hitting your throat, but wished you could taste him too. Once his cock stopped twitching and his sounds died down, he finally loosened his grip enough to let you pull back and you coughed almost violently as he panted.

“Satisfied?” He asked through a breath, looking down at you.

“For now.” You smirked, but batted your eyes at him innocently. He released your hair and you frowned, but didn’t protest any further.

“Clean it.” He ordered and you eagerly dove back in to lick at his softening cock. You were more just enjoying tasting him rather than cleaning up all of your spit… which he seemed to notice. “I said, clean it.” You looked up at him, but when you were met with a warning glare, you just huffed and did as he said, licking his cock and balls to clean him as much as possible. “Put it back now.” Despite the fact that you wanted nothing more than to do the opposite, you tucked his softening cock back in his pants and fastened them before buckling his belt.

“Good.” Your heart practically stopped at the sudden praise. “Sit back down.” You frowned, but obeyed, waiting for the next command. “Trust that if you touch yourself before our next session, I will know, and I will have someone else take over as your psychiatrist. Do you understand?” Your frown deepened as a needy whine left you and he raised his brows in response, challenging you, making you huff.

“Yes..” You muttered, looking at the table as you slouched in your chair, sulking. The next few days are going to be absolute torture.

Taglist (join here)

@pedrisgatorade @lunyyx @cillianscrybaby @vivvive @faebirdie @ceruleanrainblues @mrkdvidal1989 @brooklynscherry-z @ohmysatansstuff @d1lf-loverthinqs @butlersluvbot @mandowhatnow @baekhyunstruly @bluujaiwrites (didn’t let me tag ->) @miyababby @n1ghtw1ngslver @idkdudsworld

#jonathan crane x reader smut #jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane #batman begins #arkham asylum #patient!reader

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tonkatsubowl · 11 months ago

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hsr penacony men reacting to the reader being a yandere

▼ trigger warning. for alot of things.

aventurine would most definitely keep an eye on you. he previously stated that he lost everything in life and that he had nothing else to lose anymore, but now... with your love for him, he knew that he would never try to lose you. however, your behavior got worse as the two of you got into a relationship. you became obsessive, possessive and toxic at times. you threatened others when they got too close to him, and there were times where he literally had to hold you back. aventurine liked this side a bit, but when it got triggered, he had to do everything he can to prevent you from murdering everyone in sight. he'd soothe you with words to calm you down, and there would be times where he had to physically keep you down. kisses and hugs would do the trick, but sometimes it'd take more than that.

"again?" aventurine murmured as he approached the dark alleyway of the outskirts of penacony.

the stench of blood filled his nostrils as he approached you obliterating an innocent person, your eyes wide and an insane smile adoring your veil.

"(y/n)..." he placed a hand atop of your shoulder, seizing you of your actions. you look over, your blood-covered face softening when you see your lover.

"she's dead. there's no need to make a mess now." he soothes you, stroking your hair as he began to clean you up with a handkerchief.

"she was certainly being a mess earlier," you cooed, "i had to get rid of her. she was talking about wanting to sleep with you, and—"

he hushed you by pressing his lips against yours, before pulling away. he couldn't help his popularity in penacony, but his reputation was extremely dangerous. because of you.

"it's alright, dear. remind yourself that nobody other than you will be able to have me."

"... hehehe. i just love you so much, kakavasha."

dropping the murder weapon, you embraced him, tainting his expensive clothing with the victim's blood.

"... i love you too." his gaze softens, looking at the gruesome sight before him. now he has to clean this up...

dr ratio knew that this side of you was hidden, somewhere, waiting to be summoned. he knew the moment he met you for the first time, there was something about you that wasn't... right. and now time has flown by, and the both of you were engaged in a relationship. however, he didn't calculate that this side of you would be so dark.

luckily for you, dr ratio was an introvert and only spent his time reading books and whatnot. he spends his days indoors, doing whatever a mathematical, physiological and scientific genius would do, so you didn't have to worry about him going off.

however, just one moment he walks into a public library and all hell breaks loose. a woman admiring him from afar would be declared missing, and you would obviously be the reason why.

he sighed, seeing that the woman's body was laid to rest, and you were approaching him with the murder weapon in hand.

"veritas!" you exclaimed, bouncing towards him with glee, "i missed you!"

he eyes at the gruesome sight behind you, sighing to himself as you embraced him. you impressed him, seeing that he did not calculate this dangerous side of you. but you had to be controlled. he definitely learned that questioning you of your antics and beliefs would drive you crazy and go on both a rampant and a rampage.

"...i missed you, as well. but please do not make a mess, next time. i'd rather not see you coat yourself with blood again. if anyone sees you, then—"

"or what." you threatened, your eyes widening. "let them see. let the world see! the world needs to know that you're mine. you're mine. you're mine. you're mine! you're mi—" you went off again, and he had to quiet you by placing a hand atop of your head. "i am yours," he forced himself to reassure you, "but i would much rather you not get caught. do you understand that?"

as though your demeanor changed, you became a guilty dog that was caught ripping something apart (literally). your eyes pleaded, as you look down.

"okay..."

"good. now let's clean you up."

sunday knew this side of you. considering he was also a manipulative person, he truly didn't mind that you were doing this but at the same time, he had a reputation to keep. he didn't want you to dirty the streets of penacony due to a bit of jealousy or hatred towards other people who admired sunday.

but he was given word that you were killing one of the guard dogs of the family, who spoke ill about you. well deserved, he thought, until he had to clean up after you.

the doors opened, revealing you, multiple guards watching you with horror and disgust, and the victim that could not be even seen as a victim anymore but a pile of intestines and minced meat.

he sighed, pinching his nose, before approaching you. the guards around him shook with terror as they were confused how he of all people was not affected by your actions.

"(y/n)," he calls out to you, "must you be this dirty with your actions?"

"he was talking ill about you." you say, looking towards him as you got up, happily skipping towards him, "so i got rid of him."

well deserved, sunday once again thought, but now he has a mess to clean up.

he signaled the guards to clean up the minced meat pile, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "now i have to drag you into the bath to get you washed up."

"okay! will you join me? you have to. you need to. or else everyone here dies, and—"

"i will." sunday nods slowly, pressing his lips at corner of your lips. "do not fret."

and because of this, and all the previous other events you did, you were practically nicknamed the "dog of sunday". you were a dog to be corrected on a leash, always by sunday's side, and a threat to those who opposed the man.

loyal, and forever by his side, waiting to bite.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr sunday #hsr dr ratio #hsr aventurine #sunday x reader #dr ratio x reader #aventurine x reader

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xviiperr · 6 months ago

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can I please request yandere romantic headcannons of scourge and sonic with incredibly smart reader? like, really really cunning and observant. thank you in advance!

Of course! Man oh man am I excited! Thank you for the requests you guys! I looked at both of the requests and an idea popped in my head— the most clever one I have ever had (joking)— what if I combined them together?

A smart reader with two smitten hedgehogs fawning over them is a brilliant mix of unknown chaos and adventure! (And of course, danger). I sure do like the concept of a competition between hero and villain, a trope used since the dawn of time. I wasn't able to elaborate much on freedom fighter stuff because, no matter what I wrote, I just didn't like it lol.

Also, I made art for this! Looks a little cringe but, I couldn't help but try something new! Y'all can use them as pfps or whatever if you like them a lot but, please credit me! (Sonic's came out a little....interesting lol. I keeping on thinking of those Snapcube dubs omg).

Reader is gender neutral and uses you/your pronouns!

TW: cursing, physical harm (not to you but, definitely to Sonic and Scourge) blood, yandere shenanigans: stalking, possessiveness, obsessiveness, murder, sabotage. Another note! Sonic thinks about putting you, the reader, in danger.

Is it proof read? Sorta, not as much as I like to! School's getting busy and fanfiction is helping me survive! Figured if I was able to post this, then I am able to do anything that school has me involved in!

For Sonic and Scourge, it would be incredibly difficult, basically impossible for you to be shared with either one of them. You wouldn't get much down time with these guys around, constantly following and pestering you about: "Who's the better hedgehog?" Your life, Anons, will be a living Hell. Prepare for a game of tug-of-war between two idiots!

Let's start with talking about Scourge.

Scourge would be very adamant on trying to get you to join his team. You're smart and he knows this, much more clever than his compatriots and his now ex-girlfriend, Fiona. He's so desperate for your attention, picking fights with anyone who gets in the way of talking or being by you. And here's where the first problem comes from: you're on Sonic's team. You. You are a part of the Freedom Fighters. And that pisses him off.

Why are you wasting your talents on a bunch of babies? Scourge doesn't care if he has to travel across the zones to find you and take you with him. But, he doesn't count on you being much more smarter than he thought. In the midst of a battle with Egghead's badnicks, Scourge appears out of a portal to try and snag you away. He launches across the greenery, grinning madly. He's finally going to get you and—

Scourge could've sworn that his jaw was dislocated and then broken. It throbbed furiously and he struggled to gather his bearings. His head spun violently. You saw him coming from a mile away, despite his quills supposedly blending him in with the environment. That damn jacket of his gave him away. His prized possession! (Aside from his crown and you, of course). You sent a hunk of Dr. Robotnick's heavy machinery straight at him, letting the robot do the work for you and send him flying away. He was way too dizzy, blood dripping from his nose and a possible concussion. Hell.

You spared him a moment's glance and then took off to help Amy clobber some more tin heads. By now, Sonic had noticed Scourge and was already working his way over in record time, something even Scourge wasn't expecting. The expression on Sonic's face warned of a promised beating and perhaps, even worse, death. Scourge staggered to his feet, turned heel and bolted as fast as he could before he got a generous pummelling from the Blue Blur. He soared into the portal just in time, avoiding a nasty fate. Scourge hit the ground with a bone rattling thud, cursing when he bit on his lip too hard.

He's angry, oh yes he is but, he had to admit, he kinda liked that. Scourge hates to say that he did. You have the same quality that drew him into Fiona— your mind. It's really unfair that you're on Sonic's team though. Now he has to figure out how he's gonna come back, not get his ass beat and take you home with him. You're much smarter than he was anticipating. Scourge that night decides to spare no time for sleep, mind hooked on how you looked at him. How you outwitted him, not even using your own fists to take him down.

Scourge stares at a cabinet in his castle, pondering. Gutting Sonic doesn't sound like half of a bad idea. With that idiot out the way, Scourge gets to have all of your attention on him. The Freedom Fighters though...those mutts are still going to be in the way. Scourge has been itching to become the one and only Sonic, even if he liked the attention he was getting from the rest of the crew, Scourge needed to be in charge of things here. He's gonna figure out how to worm his way into your life and force you to work with him.

Now, what about Sonic?

Sonic loves your intellectual prowess, constantly checking back with you. He wants to hear more about your ingenious creations, (maybe he can even use them to his advantage!) and in general, have you speak to him about everything you come up with. Sonic does not want to share you with your friends though, as much as he likes how they positivity impact your mind, he feels that he should have sole possession of your heart. (He might just go and take it anyway, don't worry, you'll have a mechanical heart to keep you alive!) Instead, Sonic encourages you to hang out with his friends. With you being around his friends, Sonic doesn't have to worry as much.

Whatever your brain delves into, Sonic wants to hear all about it, as said before but, reiterated. (Y'see, this is a really important point). Now, Sonic knows that another hedgehog, specifically the embodiment of a snotball, is also after your affections. He's not going to let that bully get any of your time, always being the first to rush towards Scourge and hit him with the old sucker (his fist). Sonic will do anything to get that vermin off your tail, even convincing Shadow and Knuckles to help him out. Now depending on whether Shadow and Knuckles are yandere will also determine on how much they're willing to help Sonic out. Either way, thanks to Sonic's undeniable charm, he is able to enlist assistance to fend off Scourge. Sonic is even proud of beating Scourge up.

And to make matters worse, Sonic will boast about beating up Scourge at every chance he gets. Now, that being said, it's not out of character for Sonic to gloat over his victories, especially bullies but, he goes further into detail. Sonic is happy that he gave Scourge a well worth punch to the snout to think about. And if Sonic hit Scourge hard enough to the point that Scourge was bleeding—he's ecstatic. From then on, Sonic will constantly bring up the subject of hitting someone so hard that they started bleeding. Sonic uses this as bragging rights and also, a not so well hidden reminder of how strong he is. You belong to him.

Sonic cannot help but replay that day over and over again in his head. Scourge slips through the portal, laughing out loud and being an overall idiot. Scourge's first move is to find and capture you, even stating it out loud. That was his first mistake, giving him right away to Sonic, who started hitting heavier on badnicks. Sonic remembered that he felt panicked, that he wouldn't get to you in time to save you. But, as it turned out, you didn't need any saving. You were just fine on your own. In fact, you had the time to set up a little surprise, just for Scourge.

Shock was an understatement to describing Sonic's face after your clever trick. Instead of fighting tooth and nail to get away from Scourge, (you didn't even have to worry about stepping close at all, due to your ingenuity) you had sent the biggest badnick catapulting at Scourge, hitting him smack dab in the face. Sonic was sorry that he wasn't able to catch up to Scourge, to give him a nice little beat down. That factor made him rather pouty for the rest of the evening, however, that didn't stop Sonic from singing praises about your smarts. He acted like he couldn't believe that you were able to do that. It almost felt like Sonic was being condescending. That you should have been captured, only for Sonic to save the day.

That day, Sonic sat out on the beach, daydreaming about the many different ways that he could save you. From that fight, he learned that you wouldn't actually need him and that fact hurt Sonic more than he liked to admit. Yes, putting you in a dangerous situation might be the trick to get you to fall even more in love with him. But, that could also mean that Scourge would be there to save the day instead. And knowing Scourge, he would definitely out Sonic for his actions, just to win your favor. Sonic had to think carefully on how he was going to handle this.

#xviipersworks #yandere #xviiper #x reader #yandere male #self insert #yandere sonic #yandere sonic the hedgehog #x self insert #xviiperdrawstheirsillycrap #xviiperanswers #yandere scourge the hedgehog archie #yandere scourge #yandere sonic vs scourge

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 11 months ago

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love all your thoughts on eridan so much!! ive had erikar as a passive concept in my head since i started slowly rereading homestuck, bit i never invested as much thought into it...it makes a LOT of sense.

very curious on your thoughts on eridan and nepeta, if you have any? i dont really see much around of the two of them and how they may act around each other (most likely because, iirc, they have basically no substantial interaction in the comic....) but its a concept ive twisted around in my head a little.

Hahah, one of my friends is a Nepeta roleplayer, so we have hashed this OUT. Basically, I think if they talked a bit more, under the right circumstances, they might try pitch for a bit, but resolve to normal friendship. TL;DR, at the end of the day, they just don't really have anything to particularly hate about each other, or to particularly love, but I think they'd make for really good friends actually, if Eridan gets his shit together and Nepeta comes out of her shell a little more. She might wind up having to play auspice for him because... he has a lot of problems... and as a Heart player, with more proximity to him, she'd realize "oh, wait, he's not that bad, hes just mentally fucking ill," and there are people on the team who would not give him that kind of grace.

Flushed is pretty canonically off the table - despite having hit on her several times, Eridan seems to have accepted the rejection, and Nepeta herself comments that it always came off as "cr33py and insincere", which it probably was - he's clearly not over Feferi, and has a kind of "please god anyone would be fine I just don't want to be alone" vibe. Nepeta is definitely looking for more sincerity than that, and although Eridan's Type is very much cheerful, bubbly, nice girls (what he thinks Feferi is), I think they're pretty incompatible overall.

His antics and Emotional Issues would probably be super taxing on Nepeta long-term, he'd wind up in a million fights with protective Equius (Eridan is a crazed murderer even just objectively), and he's really not a particularly kind or pleasant person.

Meanwhile, although he's basically willing to go along with anything that'll get him attention, I think he'd be very puzzled by Nepeta's expectations that he do Romantic Things, or otherwise adhere to certain romantic tropes and social norms, which he can't do; when this inevitably leads to hurt feelings, his response to perceived danger is "fight," so he'd probably end up making it worse. So! Flushed is flushed. Down the load gaper, I mean.

Trying on pitch, I think if Nepeta was already a little bit out of her shell - say, Equius has died, or she's otherwise locked in a SGRUB dungeon with him, or something like that - she and he would come to blows over Eridan's performative casteism. Nepeta's the anti-casteism troll, after all, and if she's worked up enough, she's quite spirited and opinionated, and Eridan is down for anything, so it would be something I can absolutely see forming.

Actually, hilariously, when my friend and I RP'd this out, Nepeta wound up with a pitch crush, and Eridan wound up with a FLUSHED crush, because he was THAT BAD at differentiating between good and bad attention. Nepeta was totally floored, she was like, dude i was calling you stupid and terrible??? how the fuck did you interpret that as FLUSHED??? and eridan was like i dont know... maybe... i might have mental illness......

The problem is, I don't see their pitched dalliance lasting, for two main reasons - the first is that Eridan wouldn't hate Nepeta long-term, even if he can work up some caliginous energy because he's desperate; she's too genuinely nice and kind and he loves nice and kind people. Similarly, Nepeta wouldn't be able to hate Eridan the more she got to know him - since he's kind of the least casteist highblood, despite his initial impression, she would lose her fundamental reason for opposing him, and would instead start going "oh god, hes so traumatized, he's like that because he's really messed up inside."

The second is because I think they're dangerous for each other, physically. Eridan is a volatile highblood with severe emotional problems and a bodycount in the thousands, and Nepeta is very reckless in the face of danger; I can genuinely see them going a little too hard and Eridan getting a bit of a highblood buzz and winding up severely injuring Nepeta, which he would feel completely fucking terrible about, and then not allow himself to ACT like he feels terrible about it. Even if they stay in the relationship, it would kill his vibe, since when he isn't on an outright murder spree, he doesn't want to hurt his friends ("wwhat kind of friend wwould i be"). And that's not even factoring in how much EQUIUS would flip out over it.

I also don't think Nepeta is particularly equipped to deal with Eridan's problems, even if she does recognize and sympathize with them more than most on their team. Although she'd have more success than others, I think it'd leave her exhausted, because Eridan is exhausting. A Heart player obsessed with true feelings and sincerity and genuineness is just a bad match for the kid who's 90% façade.

So, ultimately, I think they'd resolve to really good friends, and Nepeta might wind up being a middle leaf for Eridan in an auspicetism situation, since Eridan... tends to draw aggro, and Nepeta at least would care about him enough that she doesn't want to see him get killed (even in the comic, as Nepetasprite, she expresses sadness that Eridan is dead, although she doesn't seem to know about his murders).

Eridan is also a roleplayer, lest we forget, and if Nepeta is able to draw out rare flashes of genuineness, they do have a bunch in common - she could commiscerate with him over the thrill of the hunt (although she'd have to be careful not to get too into the weeds about the, uh, Troll Murder aspect), RP with him (in a safe environment), or gossip about romance. They're both pretty painfully sincere people at their core, so while I ultimately don't see them being particularly romantically compatible, I do really love the idea of them being close friends. If only Eridan didn't always make things Fucking Weird.

And also since I really love pitch FefNep, Nepeta becoming friends with Eridan would help fuel her hate dates with Feferi - ":33 < do you even realize how messed up killing lusii fur YOU left him???" "W)(at would you )(ave preferred, t)(at my lusus went )(ungry and krilled everybody? 3X0"

#eridan ampora #homestuck #nepeta leijon

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review-anon · 5 months ago

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Despair Time Chapter 2 Review Part 1: The Good

Hey guys Review Anon here and what’s this? I’m reviewing something other than ASOOT arcs? Yes, yes, I am. Shocker I know but I am not treading too far as I’m still covering Danganronpa as I’m reviewing Chapter 2 of Despair Time now it’s finished. I have my thoughts on it and now I’ve taken some time to take it all in I can talk about what went well, what didn’t go well and what lessons we can take away from the whole thing. I was gonna wait until Bubbles does their review/rant but natural disasters are bitches and power hasn’t been restored yet. So, I’m doing this now to get out of the way.

And for any people coming here from non ASOOT related tags then I will apologise in advance because you are gonna be in for a LOOONNNGGGG read. If you are the type to go tl;dr then turn away now.

I presume the rest of you want to read it? Well, let’s get right to it. I’ve split this into three parts because I don’t want to do Google Docs for this, and it would be an easier read for those who came from the non ASOOT space as you guys aren’t used to my lengthy reviews. Consider this your crash course on how I review, in extreme detail and excessive word count. This right here is about 8.5k which is a bite size by my standards which should tell you everything.

Please bear in mind you will have to wait a bit for the next parts as I want to get my current project done before this. Its just I didn't anticipate this taking so long.

Anyway, let’s get right into it, shall we?

Chains of Friendship

Chapter 1s for any Fanronpa tend to be very shocking as it’s the creator’s way to try and surprise the audience and subvert any expectations they have. Some do this well, others do not. But Despair Time was one of those who did it well by how it handled the main protagonist Teruko Tawaki.

At first glance she seemed to be an atypical Danganronpa protagonist. Ultimate Lucky Student? Check. Has an ahoge? Check. Believes in friendship, trust, hope and all those bollocks? Check. Gets backstabbed by someone they believed to be a friend in the first chapter? Check quite literally. Forgives said friend and continues to be a ray of sunshine? Ch- oh wait hang on a minute she didn’t do that at all.

Yeeaahhh while Xander’s sudden attempted murder on Teruko was a massive shock, what was even more so that Teruko decided to say fuck friendship and trust and not trust anyone ever again. On one hand you can understand Teruko’s rage. She was very close to Xander and he used that trust to try and kill her. Min was also someone who supported Teruko and she was willing to throw Teruko under the bus to save her own skin. None of the others stood up for her as they all decided that Teruko killed Xander, and it was only thanks to the power of protagonist energy and using basic logic that saved them. As such Teruko was well within her right to call everyone out for being selfish bastards. Especially since as we get to know more of Teruko this chapter, we learn that what happened in Chapter 1, while extreme, is a snapshot of her entire life due to how ruinous her luck has been.

I don’t think I’ve said this before, but I will say it now, luck SUCKS in the Danganronpa universe. Look at all the Lucky Students we had, Makoto is the only one who has a decent life and he loses the most. Nagito is so ravaged by luck he’s become suicidal and depressed. Yuki goes through literal hell due to his luck and the less said about Utsuro, the better. And while it’s still very much a WIP, one of my OCs is a Lucky Student and her life is equally ruined by her luck. But don’t worry I’ve not copy pasted it from anyone else as the direction I’ve taken my OC is in a way nobody has done before. And what Teruko has here is a fine example of that. She is an orphan who was abandoned by everyone in her life, she has numerous wounds on her body, she barely has any education as she has to sneak into large schools as a student and then once the gig is up, run away and her finances are in ruins due to the hospital bills. Its little surprise why she likes the Killing Game, as she gets guaranteed food and shelter here, which is more then what can be said outside. But even that has a silver lining as we know whoever the mastermind is, they have it out for her.

However, while this is a massive departure from what the typical protagonist would go through, it’s a known fact that in a Killing Game, you NEED to work with others. Class Trials are decided by majority vote and so if you become a pariah, you are very likely to be ignored and might risk dooming yourself or others if what you are saying is true. Teruko doesn’t have to like her classmates, but she needs to learn to coexist with them. Especially since Teruko switching from “I hate and distrust everyone” to “We are all friends” is a major mood whiplash I doubt anyone would do. So naturally one of the main themes of this chapter is learning to rebuild trust after its broken and the consequences of not trusting anyone.

Two major voices object to Teruko’s self-imposed isolation and distrust of everyone. The first is Eden Tobisa. She’s always been a cheerful and optimistic person within the Killing Game and has taken Xander’s and Min’s deaths harshly. In a way Eden behaves more like what a typical Danganronpa protagonist does, wanting to be friends with everyone and being kind. When she tries to get Teruko to bake with her, Teruko reminds her the last time they baked was with Hu, Rose and Min and that was later used for Min’s murder of Xander. She calls her naïve for being optimistic and says she won’t be friends with her, because she knows that at some point, Eden will crack from the harsh reality of the Killing Game and the luckster doesn’t want a stake in it. Kindness will always be rewarded with cruelty.

But when she says this Eden surprises her as contrary to what Teruko thinks, Eden isn’t oblivious to the cruelness of the Killing Game and reality as a whole. Yet the small clockmaker chooses to be kind because it’s the right thing to do, and if you give someone kindness while people can backstab you, you can be rewarded. When it comes to trust and distrust you need a healthy balance.

When I reviewed Black and White Christmas, I didn’t like how Sunako was forcing the Quantum Crew to trust the 76 Squad for a couple of reasons. I tried explaining it at the time, but I felt I telegraphed it quite poorly and I’m sure that’s irritated Mod Poi. The first one is on me, as I didn’t really know the 76 Squad then and as such couldn’t really tell at face value if they were to be trusted or not. Since they are from NWPM and I struggled to read it, my lack of knowledge led to that judgement, but the other thing is that I compared the whole thing to Raja and the Last Dragon and how it mishandled the theme of trust. Expect I didn’t explain it very well or misunderstood the hate. The main reason Raja got betrayed the first time was because she trusted Namaari too much, which you should never do to people you literally just meet. Give them the benefit of doubt yes, but never open yourself up to someone you don’t know that well. Teruko made that mistake with Xander and that’s why she got a knife in her gut.

While it’s a heartfelt speech, it had a notable impact on Teruko as she didn’t know how to respond. When you expect nothing but betrayal and backstabbing, having someone be kind for the sake of it can shock you. It’s the same shock Kyoko experienced in Trigger Happy Havoc when she didn’t expect Makoto to keep his mouth shut about evidence that he knows is false, and he explained it’s because he trusts her, she didn’t know how to respond. While Eden isn’t the main protagonist, the same principle applies.

Eden isn’t the only person who objects to Teruko’s views that you should never have faith in others as the other is Charles Cuevas. Starting off Charles was your atypical smug intellectual who believes he’s superior to others, akin like Byakuya and Rei. But much like them, he softens up and learns to work with others though in Charles’s case it’s a bit more extreme. In Chapter 1 he was revealed to suffer from Hemophobia, so much so that if he sees blood, he literally goes into shock and can’t remember anything. Xander uses this to his advantage to try and frame Charles for his would be killing of Teruko, but when it seems like everyone is turning on Charles, Whit is the one who stands up for him, gives evidence why he couldn’t do it and so Charles is cleared. This has caused the formally smug chemist to go through a bit of character development as while in Chapter 2 he still thinks his intelligence is beyond that of most of the cast, he isn’t pushing them down as much and has soften up to certain characters, most particularly Whit and Teruko. The former because he stood up for him and is an honest friend and the latter due to demonstrating that unlike most of the cast, Teruko actually uses her brain. It’s a slow burn but assuming Charles survives all to the end, he will become a much better person.

So, when Teruko talks about her disbelief that he is trusting people after what happened in the Class Trail, he brings up some valid points on why Teruko is actually being quite illogical as cooperation with others is key to surviving this game and humans are social pack animals by design, we work better as a team.

Chapter 1 Charles is pretty much Chapter 2 Teruko but after learning he cannot look at a corpse and thus is incapable of surviving on his own, Charles has started to learn how to rely on others. In some ways he doesn’t like how everyone pities him now so Teruko is a relief as her interactions with him haven’t changed. But while Eden says why Teruko is wrong from an emotional and moral perspective, Charles approaches it from a logical and factual point of view. As many analysts have already pointed out, it’s impossible to do a solo act in a Killing Game, if you want to live, you need to learn how to work with others. Either to prevent yourself from becoming a target, or so others can help you when you are down, much like how Whit helped Charles in his lowest point. As such using his own experiences, he knows the direction Teruko is coming from and implores her to reconsider as eventually events will occur which will force her back to trusting others again.

I like this as we have two different characters, both who get tons of development this Chapter, attacking Teruko’s morals from different angles. But while they are definitely making dents, Teruko is able to justify in her worldview that she’s been beaten too many times to be like Eden, especially as Eden seems to have had a good life where her worst secret is that she’s a closet lesbian. Which okay its definitely something Eden might have been harassed over if bigotry is still a thing in this world, but with so many of the cast being LGBTQ, it’s not the worst secret in the world. And for Charles, he has a deliberating condition which prevents him from surviving on his own. Everyone knows about Teruko’s luck and she’s survived this well without needing help on it so she doesn’t need to rely on others.

Expect of course, she’s wrong, because during an interaction with Veronika, she brings up the suggestion that Teruko might have prosopagnosia.

While it’s not confirmed in this Chapter, I do believe Bubbles has a point that Teruko might have face blindness but I don’t think its prosopagnosia. Recall that Teruko has had a very harsh upbringing where she couldn’t get close to people or have a solid support network. It’s known that having a disruptive childhood can lead to arrested development in various areas. I recall a case where a woman had blurry vision for a long time as a child and wasn’t diagnosed as shortsighted until much later in her life and because this happened after the point in a child’s development where the sense of self develops, it means this woman had a lot of self-identity problems and has a hard time recognising herself or others. But she doesn’t have prosopagnosia as that’s a neurological condition you are born with. Rather I feel the face blindness is due to people fazing in and out of Teruko’s life so much that she doesn’t bother forming connections and that is what’s fucked her up.

Regardless of the technicities, it IS a problem in a Killing Game because it would be very easy for someone to trick Teruko by merely dressing up as someone else. That wouldn’t be a problem if Teruko has a support network in place, but if she doesn’t, then she’s a goner. So, like Charles, for medical reasons Teruko doesn’t have the means to stand on her own and needs others to help her.

But the one character who shattered Teruko’s worldview and made her realise what she’s doing is wrong is the victim of this chapter; Arei Nageishi.

When Arei was introduced back in the Prologue at first it seemed like she was gonna be an insufferable Hiyoko-like character. She’s vicious, mean and enjoys tormenting others. But Chapter 1 reveals some layers to her as when Eden invited Teruko, Rose, Min and Hu to bake, Arei got really upset because she wasn’t invited, implying she wants to be involved with the group but doesn’t know how to approach it in any way other than being mean. Then during her FTE with J, she reveals that she has a ranking system in place for how badly she bullies other, while some like J get mild teasing, others she will try to ruin their lives completely. And for kind people she will make sure they cry because she cannot stand anyone being kind, implying that Arei seems to have a real problem with people being kind.

As such when Eden goes to apologise to Arei for excluding her, at first Arei behaves like how Teruko would think she would, she belittles Eden, calls her dumb and says she’s gonna die if she keeps this up, which causes Eden to burst into tears and run away. But alone with David and Teruko, Arei confesses that she didn’t like doing that. She said that stuff to Eden to protect her, because she believes the world is like what Teruko says it is, that kindness cannot be rewarded with anything other than cruelty. And if Eden keeps this up, she’s gonna die. The reason for this is as you would expect due to trauma as Arei’s older sisters would torment her constantly and make her life hell, until Arei just had it and frame her sisters for a bunch of crimes which resulted in them getting send to reform school. This here is a snapshot of one of the main themes this chapter has so we will come back to it later. So, is Arei just reinforcing Teruko’s worldview? Nope. Because then Arei reveals that despite all of that, she WANTS kind people to exist, she HAS to be doubtful of Eden because she’s so kind and optimistic, the exact person Arei wants to have in her life, but her past experiences have gotten in the way. And as she breaks down sobbing due to that, something stirs within Teruko.

Without realising it, Arei has shot a massive wound in Teruko’s armour. She’s someone who is basically like Teruko, who is rude and cruel to others because every time she’s tried to be kind, it was slapped down and punished. She also believes the world is a dark and evil place, but she also wants to believe kind people exist, despite what her experiences have taught her. This is what Teruko is going through. The fact she does cactus puppet plays of Xander and Min, shows that despite what Teruko claims, she is not a sociopath and can care for others, and she wants to be friends with everyone but having been hurt so badly, she cannot get close again. Teruko, without realising it, sees a lot of herself within Arei. She denies it at the time but those words have an impact on her.

David’s speech to her, even though its hollow and not even Arei believed it because she saw his secret and knew he was a piece of shit, still didn’t mind it. The reason being is that even if someone like David, who is seen as a beacon of hope and sunshine, is a rotten bastard deep down, then its proof she isn’t too far gone. While obviously we don’t have David reveal this to the others, we see the conversation happen, and it clearly had an effect on David, due to him remembering it so vividly. Arei’s drive to become a better person wound up saving Eden’s life twice as she interrupted Arturo’s attack on Eden when she tried to reveal his secret to him, and by doing her stunt Ace, the culprit for this case, decided to switch targets and go for Arei instead of Eden. Which I’m glad that Eden didn’t die because if she did, that would convince many that Despair Time was gonna be a cynical work like the Another Series and The Mistake. And why of course Arei still died this chapter, her death was NOT caused by her reaching out to others because Ace was gonna kill regardless of what was happening. And Teruko’s rage at Ace for killing Arei was less about him having a shitty motive but because had Arei lived, she and Teruko would have become good friends, since she would have understood Teruko’s pain and her desire to want to trust others regardless of her past.

Teruko also suffered the consequences of shutting others out as by being isolationist, Teruko has missed the context for a lot of what shenanigans have unfolded among others, and due to believing her viewpoint to be the only correct one, she makes mistakes. During the Class Trial, Teruko misreads the time and assumed the murder occurred at 8pm and NOT 8am which is Arei’s true time of death. Had Charles not pointed this out, David would be ruled as the culprit and everyone would have been executed. Another major mistake Teruko made was in how to end the Killing Game. When Veronika said that Eden had an idea to end the Killing Game by being as boring as possible, Teruko said that wouldn’t work as that’s why motives exist, whereas she has an idea but she needs to wait until the next murder occurs. We are left hanging, and for Arei’s case quite literally on what she meant by that, that is until Ace was exposed as the culprit and Teruko asks Ace to do something outrageous; Kill MonoTV.

Teruko’s logic for this at first glance seems sound. The reason the Killing Game occurs is due to the fact they have to follow MonoTV’s rules, and breaking them results in death. However, with Ace due to die via execution, he has nothing to lose. If he destroys MonoTV he has a chance to save his own life, of course if he fails, so what, Ace is gonna die anything so it achieves nothing. In short, there is no downsides and only upsides.

Expect of course if you have been paying attention, this is not the case. Firstly, normally with the mascots they tend to have copies, one gets destroyed, another takes its place. Thus, the game will carry on, but then there’s another one and one that tripped a lot of people up. When MonoTV was asked who would be the blackened, he said whoever was the most “mastermind-y” Now a lot of people interpreted this as being whoever is behind the murder and not necessarily the murderer. This is why Bubbles proposed that while Hu would be the one to kill Arei/J, David would be the blackened as he was the one who manipulated Hu into doing so. But this logic doesn’t just apply to murders, when Ace obliges and tries to smash MonoTV, it doesn’t work due to the robot being more durable then initially thought, the AI said that while Ace did break a rule, he was gonna be executed anyway so it would achieve nothing. As such the one being punished would be the one who told Ace to break said rule; Teruko herself.

As the countdown for Teruko to get gatling gunned occurs, I wasn’t worried like Teruko, as I KNEW someone was gonna jump in front of her and take the shots. The question was; who? I was thinking either Eden or Charles would do so as both have strong connections to Teruko, and for both it would be a massive contribution to their characters. In Eden’s case its shows she’s not scared to fight what she believes in, and returning the favour. Teruko stood up for her when the culprits narrowed down to Ace and herself, and Teruko decided to focus on Ace, so the petite clockmaker would return the favour. For Charles, it would be him facing his fears as he is terrified of the sight of blood and gore, so him jumping in front of the way of a gatling gun, assuming he survives, would show how much he is starting to care for the others. Anyone else aside those two…I didn’t think so. Ace would have never done so as I’m sure he is the one who voted for Teruko. Nico clearly wanted to get away with their crimes and the others either aren’t close to Teruko or jumping in front of the gun would be out of character for them. So, when the timer hit zero, I expected a CGI of either Eden or Charles with a lot of bullets in them…

But instead, my expectations were blown wide open by the fact that Levi of all people jumped in front of Teruko and shielded her from the bullets. This reminded me very much of when Akane was almost blown up by a bazooka by Monokuma but Nekomaru blocked his way and got shot. Considering what we learnt about Levi in this Chapter, this really took me off guard AND bumped him up several tiers in my character rankings.

But this had a total shock on Teruko, as she believed if she didn’t care for anyone else, nobody would likewise care for her, so the fact that someone cared enough to shield her from pain, and that they are on death’s door because of her, send shockwaves through Teruko’s body as when after Ace’s execution as everyone rushed to the infirmary to treat Levi, Teruko stayed behind to do something she said she would never do; mourn.

The amount of people who contributed to Teruko’s character development doesn’t end there as while those four are examples of positive interactions for Teruko, we have had two cases of negative interactions who serve a different purpose, the first is David Chiem.

When introduced David…seemed off. He seemed like an affable and friendly person who believes everyone has the motivation and desire to change, and Xander in particular seems to be a massive fanboy of him. But like most celebrities and people in public that is just a façade is in the Prologue when Xander went off to get something for his idol to sign, we see David chuckling to himself on how much of an idiot Xander is, without realising that Teruko was there to see it all, and his shock when she reveals she heard that, says it all. Chapter 2 brought up the suss meter even further when David ‘confessed’ his secret and implored everyone to discuss their own secrets, which far from doing good, ended up causing a lot of drama and tension. Anyone with a irk of sense could tell David was fake, I knew he was fake, Bubbles knew he was fake, pretty much most Youtubers reacting knew he was fake.

Another factor working against him is his VA. Quite a few SDRA2 English Dub VAs also worked on Despair Time, and for the most part is interesting to see their contrasts. Bblackroses is known for playing Hibiki Otonokoji, but here she is J who while Hibiki is a bubbly peppy girly-girly, J is a complete tomboy who hates the starlight and fame. Artimmissis Setsuka Chiebukuro, who is a very reliable woman with a prankster side to her, but here she is MonoTV an incompetent mastermind who tells the worst jokes. David Chiem’s VA is Sword of Swords who also worked on SDRA2, and what character did he play there?

Oh, nobody important, just Mikado Sannoji the Mastermind of that game, the leader of the main antagonist group Void and more or less a piece of shit.

At first glance the contrast seems to be that Mikado is an evil bastard whereas David is a moral force of good. But as the pressure mounts for David and the fact his secret is that he’s a manipulator who likes to deceive others, as well as how he mocked Arei’s desire for friends earlier, meant when it reached the boiling point the mask came off and David revealed his true self.

It’s here the true contrasts between him and Mikado become clear. Both are men who hide their true selves behind a mask, literally for Mikado and figuratively for David and both pretended to be forces of good before their masks slip and their true vile nature is revealed. David is obvious as he tried to be a good moral speaker whereas Mikado you might have missed it tried to be a hero and claim Void was a force of good before Rei and Teruya ruined it. In addition, their true selves are so VERY different. Mikado always remained polite and affable even when he is being extremely bastardry whereas David is rude, condensing and swears all the damn time. I also cannot help that David’s true self looking a lot like Utsuro, who is the main object of Mikado’s desires cannot NOT be a coincidence.

But what does David show for Teruko? Well, he seems to at a glance reinforce Teruko’s beliefs that nobody can be trusted as Teruko smugly pointed out she saw the warning signs of him being evil way before anyone else did. And whenever he talks to her, he seems to want to keep this act of Teruko hating everyone up, saying it’s her nature to distrust others and the only thing she trusts is the truth. And then here is his final confession he wants Teruko to trust what he’s saying. David is in a way a warning of the kind of person Teruko would become if she keeps on her current path. I also think that David had Teruko’s secret and knows it’s her fault the Killing Game is going on. The fact he keeps seemly praising Xander and calling him a good person is obviously an attempt to get under Teruko’s skin due to how she feels about him. I for one second don’t believe he cares about Xander.

Mr. Politician isn’t the only person who serves as a warning as the culprit of this chapter, Ace Markey does as well. Ace always seemed to be a coward as he is easily scared of his own shadow and while he talks tough, he doesn’t have the actions to back it up. However, in Chapter 2 Ace gets sick and tired of being a wimp and thus decides to become a bully, which is still being a coward as pretty much most bullies bully because they are cowards who want someone weaker than themselves to lord over to make themselves feel better. Yet what drives Ace’s actions is his Thanatophobia, fear of death which is a very bad thing to have in a Killing Game. Due to this fear, Ace decides to commit murder as he feels if he doesn’t kill someone, someone will do the same to him and the fact Nico almost does, reinforces this belief. Teruko is someone while not paranoid, is very distrustful of everyone and if she feels that anyone and everyone is out to get her, she could fall down the same slippery slope that Ace does.

Despite this, Ace still manages to surprise her as when Levi takes the bullets for her, everyone needs to get to the infirmary to treat Levi otherwise he dies, but the lift won’t work since Ace still needs to be executed. Ace has already made it very clear he hates and despises Levi, especially after the latter confesses that he doesn’t care about the former, which seemed to really hurt him, but seeing someone he hates that much do something so selfless, means he decides to do the one decent thing in his life, while also being his last, getting MonoTV to execute him so the lift doors open and Levi could be saved.

That I think was the final straw which broke Teruko. She has had mounting pressure throughout the entire Chapter but then someone who was a coward, sacrificing himself so that someone else could live, is the final crushing proof as well as the knowledge that while she avoided making the same mistakes as before, she just wound up making new ones, that caused her to cry alone in the Trial Room.

We also get interesting character interactions with Teruko and MonoTV throughout the chapter. Since Teruko isolated herself so much from the others, MonoTV hires her to do maintenance around the Killing Game since he’s too incompetent to do it himself. As Monokumas were originally butler robots this would have never happened in the main series. We learn a far bit about MonoTV, that he is a simple robot designed for the Killing Game and he doesn’t have full knowledge on who’s running the thing as he was only programmed to do what his tasks enabled. And as Teruko pointed out, he is sadistic as Min was executed before she could say everything she wanted to and Ace’s execution was dragged out for as long as possible, in both cases it’s to make the victims feel the most despair. The other interesting thing is that Teruko can use Monocoins to get him to remove other characters who are bothering her which is the complete contrast to FTEs. What should we call them instead? Exclusion Zone Effects or EZE? Nah that doesn’t roll off the tongue.

In conclusion, I really liked how Teruko was handled in this Chapter due to how much of a cliffhanger the previous chapter left with her. This chapter did so much to knock her down for her high and mighty view and while she won’t be buddy-buddy come Chapter 3, I do believe that she will be more approachable to the cast. Teruko’s journey throughout this fanganronpa will be interesting to see and I see her opening up more about her past as she gets more comfortable with the cast.

Trust in Nature

Every Danganronpa game has two themes, no matter how you slice it. The first theme is the most obvious one and this is a theme that the protagonist and the mastermind have in common. For Trigger Happy Havoc its Hope vs. Despair, Goodbye Despair is Future vs. Past and Killing Harmony is Truth vs. Lies.

Some have said that it’s too early to call what the themes for Despair Time are, but I disagree as Chapter 2 imo is the ideal time to introduce your themes, and I think I’ve worked them out. The primary theme is one that doesn’t take much to deduce and others have caught onto it and that is Optimism vs. Cynicism. Teruko is a very cynical individual and doesn’t think she can trust others but more optimistic people disagree, saying being jaded makes you more open to being deceived. Eden and Charles, who are 100% the partners in this fanganronpa serving similar roles to Kaito and Maki in Killing Harmony where one represents the emotional connection and the other the logical one. Eden is always a bundle of sunshine and wanting everyone to be happy, but unlike someone like say Makoto, she isn’t oblivious to the fact the world is cruel but chooses to be kind regardless because its decent and it’s the most moral thing to do. Charles is more logical based and originally was quite cynical but having been shown kindness by Whit, he has opened up a bit more to some other people and while he definitely is a work in progress, he is more optimistic about surviving and escaping the Killing Game.

And this brings me to the Rival of the Fanganronpa; David. Bubbles didn’t like David surviving past Chapter 2, ignoring their own hatred for David aside because they didn’t think David contributed anything meaningful to the overall narrative of Despair Time. I disagree harshly as if I am right with the main themes of Despair Time, David is 100% a perfect Rival character as he represents those themes so well. The cynicism side is obvious as David believes that everyone is gonna die in the Killing Game and there is no point to continuing so might as well get it over and done with. This is why when David’s true nature was exposed, he tried to claim to be the killer, which is another typical rival tactic, so everyone votes for him and they all die. This very logic is why Teruko said she is not the culprit because as soon as David went on his tirade, it would have been an instant win condition for her. And as the game progresses more and more people are gonna want to live to prove David wrong and his mental sanity is probably gonna decline as a result until his Rival protection cause expires in Chapter 5 where he probably dies in a way to try and spite the cast. Going back to the Mastermind, I believe they think the Despair Time cast are all horrible people that deserve to die, whenever that be because they are Neo Remnants of Despair or something to do with Teruko, and as such use the Killing Game to kill them all. By the end of the fanganronpa, Teruko would have become more like a typical Danganronpa protagonist and be able to defy the mastermind wanting to kill her by showing the world is not a bleak place and people can change and improve.

That brings me nicely to the secondary themes. The primary themes are shared between the protagonist and the mastermind, whereas the secondary themes are shared between the group and the rival character. This take a bit more thinking to figure out but I think I’ve cracked what Despair Time’s secondary theme is. Trigger Happy Havoc’s is working together as a team as the class are trying to work together to survive the Killing Game while Byakuya is trying to play the Killing Game in order to “win” and isolates himself from the others. Goodbye Despair’s secondary theme is a deconstruction of the idea of talent as despite being Ultimates, Class 77-B doesn’t really care about their talents and support each other for their own individual characteristics and despite Hajime being revealed to be a Reserve Course Student, are extremely accepting of him. Nagito by contrast believes Hope’s Peak talented and talentless system is gospel, praises his fellow Ultimates for their talents which they do not want to be reminded by and is extremely cruel to Hajime when he finds out he is a talentless person who thinks he can mingle with his idea of the elite. Killing Harmony’s secondary theme is wanting to remain stagnant and compliant as the V3 Cast are very content to stick to the status quo and carry on with their lives, whereas Kokichi would rather shake things up and challenge said status quo. All of these secondary themes are very important to the story. And with that I believe Despair Time’s secondary theme is if humanity is inherently good or evil.

That seems very similar to Optimism vs. Cynicism but it isn’t. This theme tackles if humans are capable of changing their nature or if they are always either good or evil. From this it’s very easy to see where David lies, he believes humanity cannot change their nature, people are either saints or scum. If someone can “change themselves�� it’s because they were never that bad to begin with, whereas truly evil people cannot change. And Teruko also seems to agree on this concept because whenever Eden says she is a good person, Teruko tells her to stop as by saying that, she makes her feel worse for the fact she can change but she hasn’t made the effort to do so. Teruko always believed she was scum and would die like scum if she cared about nobody around her.

Naturally this chapter has a few characters who challenge this rule big time. Let’s start with Levi, the guy has always seemed chill but we get to see more of a scary side to him when he threatens to kill Ace if he doesn’t stop being an arsehole. We also have an interesting opening discussion with him and Eden where Levi confesses that he doesn’t see himself as a good person, contrary to what Eden thinks. This all gets revealed in the Class Trial when Levi admits that he doesn’t possess empathy and therefore cannot care about anyone around him, the fact he’s killed 4 people, one of whom being his own father and yet he treats it with the same disinterest as one would swat a fly, is very telling.

Fans were quick to diagnose Levi with Antisocial Personality Disorder, and this is where DT Dev actually impressed me big time. This disorder is one of the most maligned within society, even more so in my opinion then those on the autistic spectrum. The reason being is simple, almost every single time a fictional character is revealed to have this disorder they are almost always a psychopathic villain who kills everyone around them and gives zero shits. To say how damaging this stereotype is unbelievable and Levi is frankly the most realistic portrayal of someone with this disorder. Yes, Levi doesn’t have empathy, or a very low level of it, but he still tries to be a good person not because of morals and emotions, but more so out of a sense of duty, especially as before Levi revealed it nobody suspected a thing due to Levi not behaving like the usual stereotypes. He isn’t very good at it because he's trying to figure out how to be a good person which isn’t easy when it’s not instinct. When Ace asked if he cared about him at all and Levi responded with flat no, while Ace screamed at Levi in his usual manner, it’s clear the jockey was hurt by this reveal as a small part of him wanted to consider Levi a friend.

So, for Levi to then shield Teruko with his body from the gatling gun, not only comes as a massive shock but I believe this is Levi’s attempts of trying to prove he is a good person. Chances are, he wasn’t happy with how he handled the situation with Ace and wanted to prove something to him, so that’s why he protected Teruko, not only because thinking about it, Levi was probably one of the few characters who could survive that, but to try and redeem himself from how he mishandled the situation with Ace. And the effects of this are very clear as Ace, who was trying to prolong his death as much as possible, upon realising the only way to save Levi is for him to die, demands MonoTV to execute him. If someone without a clear concept of empathy can be a good person, then isn’t that proof humans can change?

Arei is another character who also wants to believe she can change. After she decides to become a good person, the bowler saves Eden from being threatened by Arturo and then later that night confronts David about the fact she knows he’s full of shit. We heard some of this originally from Ace who overheard the conversation, but when David is thinking about what to say to Eden, we hear the other half where Arei says she’s glad David is horrible because it means there is no such thing as a pure good person. That even someone like Eden might have done something nasty and if he’s so deprived then there’s hope left for her. She even offers a hand of friendship to David because she thinks they are one and the same, and they can improve their behaviour together. The fact David remembers this means the conversation had a meaningful impact on him, even though he doesn’t show it. What Arei is showing is clear existentialism or optimistic nihilism. Nihilism which I’m sure 75% of people reading this believe in, is where you believe nothing in the world matters because it’s all meaningless. Optimistic nihilism by contrast is saying that yes nothing matters, but that’s okay because you have the power to decide what is most important. Arei clearly believes there is no such thing as a pure good person, but what she can be is a slightly less shitty person then she was before.

And finally, there’s Ace. Ace’s motive for killing Arei is the fact he is scared of death, and that if he didn’t kill someone, then he would be killed. His reason for targeting Arei was simply coincidence, his original target was Eden but upon learning of Arei’s desire to change, decided to exploit that to target her. Ace also demonstrates a level of intelligence we haven’t seen from him before given that he was able to memorise how Nico tried to kill him, replicate that method, overpower Arei with a method unique to him and since everyone thinks Ace is dumb, he was able to pull the wool over their eyes and he could have damn well gotten away with it, especially with David’s stunt making so many convinced he was the one who killed Arei. Goes to show that people are not as stupid as you think. He gets chewed out big time by Teruko who calls him a coward, his motive is dumb and that Arei didn’t deserve to die because of that. However, even when facing death there is still a chance for character development and that comes when Levi eats a rain of bullets. Not only does this change Ace’s opinion on Levi considering he hated his guts before, but he gives Arturo a well-deserved callout who claims he doesn’t know how to treat Levi’s wounds because of his mix-maxed medical skills, but Ace calls him a coward saying as a surgeon he should know the basics and apply that skill to save Levi’s life or at least keep him alive as he gets executed. And yes, despite being as scared as possible for his death, he accepts it as it’s the only way to save Levi as the lift doors won’t open until he is executed.

Onto Ace’s execution I was pleasantly surprised as I have seen somewhere on YouTube an Ultimate Jockey Execution where the horses are used to tear the victim up, and I would have complained MASSIVELY if Ace went down a similar route. But no, the execution is more tailored to Ace’s fear of death by him escaping horror scenario after horror scenario, no wonder Veronika was orgasming over it, until when facing an execution squad, they shoot confetti and Ace suffers a heart attack and dies from fear. This is actually a real way people can die as during the 1970s, there was a string of cases where Hmong refugees would die from heart attacks in their sleep despite being healthy and middle-aged. Doctors at the time concluded that they were suffering nightmares so bad it would cause heart attacks and kill them in their sleep, and if this sounds familiar to you, it should as it was one of the inspirations behind A Nightmare on Elm Street. There’s a reason you shouldn’t scare someone with heart problems and while Ace might not have any heart issues, he has been suffering a lot of stress which could have made his heart rate dodgy and then the execution delivered.

These themes are extremely heavy hitting and I’m glad Despair Time is covering them. I could be wrong about them but that’s my theory on what they are.

Murderer Among Us

And finally, my last big positive about Despair Time’s Chapter 2 is the fact we not only get an attempted murder, with the plot twist the would-be victim would later become the culprit but the fact that this attempt didn’t succeed means the would-be murderer walks among the cast still and they have to deal with the consequences.

I have wanted this since Killing Harmony when Monokuma offered the tantalising prospect that if there are two blackeneds, only the first murder counts. So, when Korekiyo confesses to killing Tenko, the cast cannot vote for him because if he didn’t kill Angie, they would have got it wrong. I REALLY wanted it to be that Tenko was Angie’s killer, my logic being that Angie invited Tenko to her Talent Lab for a chat which got into a heated debate about how Angie was brainwashing Himiko and Tenko, who is quite hot-headed and doesn’t always think straight, accidently killed Angie in the heat of the moment. She would then either cover up her crime or someone else like the Mastermind would make the locked room mystery which the cast discovered and when Kiyo announces he is gonna do a séance, Tenko grows worried as if the séance is a success, Angie would reveal the culprit so Tenko offered to become the vessel which led to her death. You could also argue that maybe she sensed Korekiyo was up to something and did it to protect Himiko. Either way that would make for an interesting Chapter 4 because tensions between Korekiyo and Himiko would be high, but of course Kodaka doesn’t do anything with that and as a result we end up with 4 deaths, and 2 ruined chapters.

No other fanganronpa tried anything like this as they were all not willing to commit so I thank Despair Time wholeheartedly for actually having the balls to do so. As Nico, being pushed to their limit by Ace’s tormenting of them, which is very similar to how they are ostracised for being non-binary, meant they tried to commit murder by hanging Ace on the fans, but they not only miscalculated the strength of the fans but Ace woke up from being knocked unconscious and struggled awake. Before Nico could try again, Teruko and Eden showed up, foiling any would be attempt. Not only did Nico try to commit murder, but they betrayed the trust of both Hu who was trying to protect them but also Rose as Nico stole Hu’s wire and Rose’s turpentine to use for their murder scheme. What’s interesting is they didn’t apologise because they not only were not sorry for trying to kill Ace but know an apology won’t cut it. J gave Nico a very harsh verdict that even though their attempt was foiled, the point is they still tried to commit murder and was willing to give up the lives of everyone here for their own, and betrayed the trust of those who reached out to them. Hu hasn’t had a very good time this chapter because two of her closest friends; David and Nico, turned out to be using her for their own schemes, and we see the consequences of her mother hen nature. I feel a major theme for Chapter 3 is gonna be forgiveness as both Nico and David have burnt a lot of bridges this chapter and the fact they still live, means they need to somehow get back into the good graces of the group. How they do this I don’t know; David probably would be fine being a pariah but I’m not sure if Nico is wanting to make amends. They might, but they might also think they went too far. I do hope that Nico tries, especially after they have seen that even people like Levi and Ace were willing to act selflessly. And who knows, maybe David might try but I think it would be a ruse, which will still work because this cast isn’t the brightest.

Does this mean Nico would be a survivor? I don’t know as I do believe between David and Nico, one will be a survivor and the other will die, probably as a victim but who I cannot tell as Chapter 3 would probably expand upon these two a bit more. Regardless I’m glad this is being touched upon and I for one am looking forward to see where it takes Nico.

And that’s all the positives I have to say about Chapter 2. Teruko had a good character arc, I like how we know the main themes, we know who presumably the partners and rival characters are, we have an attempted murderer walking among the cast, quite a few characters like Levi, Arei and Ace got moments to shine and the execution was well done. But it cannot be all sunshine and rainbows. As much as there is good, there is also bad so when we come back next time, I’m gonna talk about what didn’t go well for Chapter 2 and what DT Dev could do to improve things.

Until then, see ya! -Review Anon

#review anon talks #danganronpa #a student out of time #drdt #danganronpa despair time #danganronpa despair time spoilers #super danganronpa another 2 spoilers #don't ask me when the next parts are coming out #it will be for a long time #as i want to focus on my other projects first #and this is the easiest bit to talk about #the other two won't be so

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rosietaeyongswife · 7 months ago

Text

i'm your baby | lee taeyong

genre: angst, thriller synopsis: Tell your baby, that I'm your baby tw: stalking, cursing, depression, alcohol and drugs consumption, suggestive themes, blood, murder.

If there would be someone to blame for your problems in life, it has to be you. It wasn't anyone else choices, but yours. Instead of being grateful for what you have, you'd rather destroy everying you have in a sake of your stupid thinking. Only if life wasn't so cruel to you.

Even in times when you were in depths of hell, he was always there for you. He has never left you side, not once. No matter how far you've been pushing him away, he would stay because he loved you.

"Can we talk?" Taeyong's voice was low and shaky. He was sitting on the floor outside of the bathroom, waiting for you to get out. "Please?"

It's one of those bad days. You didn't have any energy to do anything, nor to talk with your boyfriend. He was there for you to help you, but you couldn't let him.

"Why cant' you leave me alone?"

"Baby, let's talk. I love you, please. I hate it when you're having a breakdown and you won't let me help." He was close to crying, while you were on the floor with a blank expression. "I can do everything in my power to make you happy. Just let me try."

Everytime it ends the same way. Suddenly, you're depressed, everything's bothering you, and Taeyong is the only one, who try to fix it. It breaks your heart piece by piece. He deserves better.

"I love you too."

You wish you could do something to feel better, to escape this shithole once and for all. Being with Taeyong is like being in your comfort zone. He brings you comfort, even though you hurt him with your actions. You want him to be happy.

"I love you so much." Taeyong was whispering in your ear, as he was kissing down your neck, with one hand in your panties. "I love you, your body and your everything."

"Fuck me, Taeyong. I want it."

In times like those, you're deeply in love. You chase your climax with him by your side. He makes you cum, treats you as his prize, and he's there for you in most intimate way ever possible. You feel secure with him.

You're selfish. You're keeping Taeyong by yourself, yet he needs to put up with your shit. You should stop being selfish, and let Taeyong live a little. He's stuck with a wreck. With a person with a long gone soul.

"Dr. Yeong said I should switch medicines." Taeyong looked up at you from his book. "I don't want to. I feel like I'm living in a lifeless body. Not living, but surviving, perhaps."

"Baby, he wants what's the best for you. We can do it together, I'm here for you anytime."

"That's the issue, Taeyong." You scoffed. "You're there for me anytime I need, you're sacrificing yourself for me. That's not okay with me. It's not fair to you."

He could only stare at you with his soft eyes. Taeyong saw the best in you. In his eyes, you were his precious girl. He wants to hold you in his arms forever, and never let go. His heart aches at your pain. It really does.

"I want to do it. It brings me joy to help you. I love you, and that's what matteres."

Within secons both of you were kissing as if your life depended on it. He is the great lover and you want to be selfish to be with him. It has to be your biggest sin - being in love with Lee Taeyong. Letting him be in love with you may be even worse, though.

Alcohol wasn't your preffered drink, but now you feel at ease thanks to it. Bottle, then two, maybe four? They make you feel better. Alcohol is better for you than those pills, Dr. Yeong is giving you.

"Are you going to vomit?" Taeyong was sitting with you on a bathroom's floor with your hair in his hands. "I told you not to do it. It''s bad for you."

He came back from work to see you laying on the floor, not moving with a bunch of empty bottles next to you. Taeyong has noticed, you've been drinking a lot. It's becoming a problem.

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

The next second you're throwing up while Taeyong is there to support you, no matter what.

Ashamed.

You felt ashamed of yourself to present yourself in such a horrible way in front of you lover. That's an endless cycle.

"What the fuck? Y/N?" Taeyong opened the door to your shared bedroom but it was locked. "Why didn't you go to job? And you don't pick up anyone's calls?"

Silence. There was no response, and that's when Taeyong's blood preassure probably went a bit higher than it should.

"Baby? Are you alright?"

Again, no response. Adrenaline rushed through him, and the next second he was demolishing his bedroom's door. The sight broke his heart. You were unconcious on the floor. His world fall apart. He was panicking again.

"She overdosed on drugs, Mr. Lee." A woman in her 50s explained what happened to you, while you weren't awake. "Few more minutes and you would've found her dead there, sir. If I was you, I'd sign her up for a rehab."

"Drugs? She doesn't take drugs, she could never."

"Sir, it's not the first time she took those. I'm certain she has issues with this. I'd reccomend you talk with her about therapy, she doesn't look healthy, nor alright."

Taeyong was extra protective of you. He wasn't feeling good about leaving your side. Your heart breaks everyday more for him. He doesn't deserves what you've been putting him through.

"I signed you for a rehab."

"My mother told me about it." He handed you your bags. "I'm going to miss you a lot."

"Don't say that, or I may cry."

There was a lot of time for you to think. Rehab lasted two weeks, before you dropped out. You weren't addicted, you just wanted to do something to endure your pain. Taeyong was crying when he saw you. A bit healthier looking with a soft smile.

"I missed you, God. I wanted to get there and stay with you, baby. I love you so much."

A single tear run down your cheek.

"We need to break up. I love you but it's not fair. I can't be with you, if I'm making you suffer."

"What are you talking about? I love you and you're telling me-"

"Don't overcomplicate it. I love you. Please, find someone that may treat you the way you deserves. I'm fuckin tired of this mess. I'm not myself, I've lost myself a long time ago." The way he ws looking at you was screaming betrayal. Your heart ached at the sight but there's nothing you could do. "Don't you want to be free? Why can't you see I'm destroying you bit by bit, Taeyong? It's selfish to let you stay with me, even though I love you the most in the whole world."

The man standing in front of you had tears in his eyes. He was shocked, as he didn't expect you to break his heart in such a cruel way on a random Thursday.

"Fuck! You can't be doing this to me, Y/N! I love you! Not once have I felt bad about anything. I've never pitied you. Never!" He felt as he was going crazy. "I love you, and if I could.." Taeyong touched your hands. "I'd take away all your pain from you to put it on me. I'm sure about that. I will kill for you, I will lose everything for you. Please, don't do it. I can't live without you, Y/N. Please!"

What a mess you've made. The scene was cruel, sad, and desperate. The man you've loved your whole life is on his knees begging you to stay, while you can't do it. To be loved is to be changed, that's why you can't stay. This time, you're the one that got away.

"It's all an illusion, Taeyong. The longer you're with me, the more you're losing yourself. I feel like a thief in this relationship. I transfer my hardships on you."

"I love you, Y/N. You're my home, my everything. Why you're doing it to me?" A single tear came down your chin. "But I love you so.."

"Please, let me go.."

Two years later

Life is full of unexpected events. Living so long taught you a few hard lessons. Regret must be the worst one. Regret was so sorrow, and so hurtful. If you could turn back time, you would've done it long time ago. Past two years taught you a lot about yourself. Everything can be fixed, what a surprise! Therapy could help you, you only had to change a therapist. After few weeks you made sense. Life made sense. It wasn't all colorful, but you were better than before. Just without emotions.

Emotionless.

That's what kept you sane. Every single emotion was lost inside of you, so you could live a peacful life. Until up some point. Memories of Taeyong.

As you felt better, your mind played tricks on you. Random moments with Taeyong popped in your head. First date, first kiss, first sex, and first trip together. Every little thing you had known about him, was now all you could think about. You've developed an obsession.

Obsessed.

That's what you are. The therapist told you it might be a part of your healing journey. Little did he know, how fast could it transform into unhealthy obsession.

"He has a wife now." Your mother voice woke you up from your thoughts. She was talking to you about how wrong it is to still fantasize about him. "It was your choice to break things off. You can't return into his life as if nothing had happened."

She was right, but you couldn't process that yet.

"He loved me first. I want to talk to him, I've missed him."

"And ruin his life? Y/N, you left this life. You left him." Another reminder of your bad decision. "Taeyong met someone else, he's happy and in love with her. She's in his life, and you're not."

"Don't everyone deserve second chance? I've had enough of pain in my life, all I want is to talk with him. I want to see him, even if he's not with me."

Your mother forbid you from seeing Lee Taeyong. She made it clear, that meeting with him would complicate both of your lifes. Well, you had to came up with something else to be able to check on him.

Stalking.

Every other day, late at night, you would find yourself by windows of his new house. He's usually hanging out with his new girl, doing nothing but couple things. The way he was holding her, reminded you of how much you've loved to feel him. Every little touch of his made you hot. He seems happy, which broke you heart in half. Was he that happy with you? Does he love her more than he did you? A lot of questions popped in your head, yet there was no answeres for them.

Eventually, your mother found out about it and told your therapist. He was surprised, as he didn't expect you to do it.

"It's considered as crime, are you aware of that?" Nod. "If you keep hanging on the past, then you'll never recover fully. You had to drop Taeyong to be able to find yourself. Being like this, you're destroying what you've been building for so long."

"I love him. I can't help myself, but go there and look at them. He looks so happy, and it makes me wonder if he was even happy with me. Sometimes I think our relationship was fake, and he did pity me, after all." The young male was looking at you disappointed. He knew every detail about your relationship, and he was more than sure about the fact that Lee Taeyong loved you. "I held him back, back then. I'd love to be with him now, that I'm fixed."

"Y/N, Taeyong loved every inch of you. I'm sure he still does, but it's no longer the same love both of you shared mutually. It's a love that created through hardships of your relationship."

Nothing could stop you from visiting Taeyong's house. Your parents, even the therapist didn't suspect a thing since you've learned how to cover that. You found a job that is an online job, yet you made them believe you're going to the office every single evening and you're better now.

However, Taeyong must have suspected something. He must feel watched, as he have started to close blinds. There was no other option that breaking in. It felt as if you were some kind of psychopath but could you care? Not even a bit.

One night left you astonished. As you were hidding in a dark closet in Taeyong's bedroom, both he and his girlfriend began to kiss on their bed. At first it was an innocent act, until he got to undress her. The scene made you feel as if someone was stabbing you with a thousands of knives at once. He was craving someone else in front of you. He desried someone else, not you. Breathing suddenly became hard.

"Harder, Yongie. I love it!" She was moaning with her tits out, and his dick burried inside of her. The sight was so sinister, and sinful. "Fuck, more!"

"You like it, huh? You like being fucked dumb, love?"

This voice.

He used to be like that with you. Everytime, he would've fucked you dumb until you couldn't walk. In your relationship, you've fucked almost every day. Taeyong and his new girlfriend aren't as frequent with it.

It came into your realization, that you've been crying silently in Taeyong's closet.

"I love you, Yongie."

Yongie.

You used to call him that everytime. Now he's called that by an another woman.

Ever since that day, you've became a mad woman. As you had never touched cigarettes in your life, now it was your daily task. A need, perhaps. Your whole persona was even colder, than before. In your mind, there was something wrong. Taeyong was in love with the other woman. She was foreign in your life. She should've never been with him. It's not right. You found yourself often watching movies about crazy woman like Gone Girl, or Girl Interrupted. A desire to get rid of that girl arose in you.

"Are you feeling okay? You've been acting weird. Dying your red black, smoking, wearing black clothes and heels all the time. It's so unfamiliar with you."

Your mother was asking you, while you had a cigarette in your hand and smirk on your face.

"Why would I not be okay? I enjoy my life to the fullest. I love life, mum. I'm so glad I get to get another chance, and be okay with who am I."

"You have no idea how happy I'm to hear that! Hope, that Taeyong is now long forgotten."

"Oh, he is."

Nightmares showed up suddenly one day. It was a loop of you in a furry. Madness and red was all you could see in the nightmares. It felt so vivid, made you think it may be real.

Taeyong was all the time with her, now considered, an enemy. It stopped bothering you as you knew it won't take long to get rid of her. She needs to be stopped. She's taking your man from you.

"Did you hear that?" A girl asked, while both she and Taeyong were enjoying TV in their living room. The sound came from the kitchen, where both of them were looking at with a slightly scared expressions. "What's that?"

"Stay here. I'll check that."

Taeyong was alarmed, and his insticts told him to grab some kind of weapon to protect himself and his girl. He was slowly approaching the kitchen but he couldn't see anyone there. He sighed, thinking it might be something falling off.

"It's nothing, maybe-"

He stopped what he was about to say when he notticed you. You were standing in his living room with a huge grin on your face. Wearing black heels, black flare pants and a white shirt with a black coat on. Looking as beautiful as ever. He was shocked to see you insdie.

"I missed you, Yongie."

"Who is she? What the fuck are you doing in our home?!" The girl was asking a lot of questions, as she was confused what a stanger is doing in her home and why would she knew her boyfriend. "Taeyong, tell her to leave! She broke in!"

"Y/N, what are you doing here? Why would you break in? Is everything okay?"

His worried expression made you chuckle. Taeyong Lee hasn't changed at all.

"This is cute, Taeyong. I feel as good as ever. Everything is alright, I just came by."

"I need you to leave. You doesn't look fine, nor okay. Are you having an episode?"

"It's not an episode." You got your hidden knife out of your pocket, which made a girl on the sofa gasp. "I feel tired, after all I've seen past these months. I thought I'm the only one you love, Yongie."

"She has a knife, God!"

This situation was stressful and Taeyong was shocked to the core. It was so surreal.

"Well, you left me two years ago. I loved you, I still do but we're past now. I have a wife and I'm doing alright."

"But I was your baby. I love you, and there's no place for an another person in our life." You took a glance at frightened girl on the sofa, she was frozen to the core. "You love me, I know you do. You can't have an another baby." You turned back to Taeyong. "Tell your baby, that I'm your baby." You nodded at her. Taeyong could baerly breathe. "I'm your baby, Taeyong."

Even though it was a horror scene, Taeyong felt weak. He felt weakend by you. He has never stopped loving you. His little girl. He found a peace with someone else, but his feelings never changed.

"You're my baby, Y/N. I love you but I need you to put the knife down." He tried to get closer, but you stopped him. "Please. You may hurt someone."

"There's no place for her, Taeyong. I need to do something to make us happy."

Before Taeyong could've reacted, you were already stabbing his wife in the chest. You were in a furry, driven by madness. Everything you saw was red. Blood was splashing all around and at you. She was screaming but no one could hear her. Stab after stab. Taeyong was watching in horror as you were killing his wife.

"Fuck, stop!"

He held you tightly, as you dropped the knife. The lifeless body of Taeyong's wife was laying down on the sofa, as you were hugging Taeyong.

"I love you, and I'm so fuckin sorry about that. I had to do it. Please, forgive me." You were sobbing in Taeyong's arms. "Please, Yongie."

"Everything's going to be alright, I love you too. Shh, we're going to be fine, Y/N. I promise."

Next thing you knew was his lips on top of yours. Kiss you've been craving for so long, happened finally. His touch made you feel alive again.

"I want you all to myself."

"We need to get rid of that mess first." Never would you have guessed that Taeyong would help you to get away with killing his wife. "We need to do it first, then we can have each other."

After all, you're his baby.

#nct #nct au #kpop au #angst #nct 127 #nct u #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct imagine #kpop #taeyong scenarios #lee taeyong #taeyong #taeyong angst #taeyong au #taeyong scenario #lee taeyong angst #lee taeyong au #lee taeyong scenarios

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klxudykai · 8 months ago

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some realities should be left to the imagination

now i’m not sure if this will come off as an unpopular opinion (considering i’ve never seen anyone say anything about it before) but you do not need to shift everywhere. like i get it, the universe is a big ass wonderful and interesting place but that doesn’t mean you need to explore every corner of it. you can say “oh i can just script that i don’t get trauma blah blah blah” but that doesn’t prevent your subconscious mind from carrying that trauma. sure it’ll help with your dr but you won’t forget what you saw or whatever happened.

now i’m not talking about how you have to point yourself to one or two drs. you can have as many as you want, especially considering the fact i have almost 30 so i definitely can’t be talking. but you need to consider where you’re shifting to. i will never put someone down for where they’re shifting to (unless you’re harming someone cause then im def judging) but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (sabrina carpenter reference) be careful and aware of where you’re shifting to. you’re going to a whole ass reality that is just as real as this one. it’s not a dream or your imagination. it’s real. and i’m sure you don’t want real trauma either. i would just hate to see someone discouraged and not wanting to shift again because they saw something they didn’t want to see or had something happen. shifting is such a beautiful thing and shifters are so powerful. so please, thing again on where you want to shift to.

like if you come across a new reality you wanna shift to, ask yourself “do i wanna shift for the characters or do i wanna shift for the plot?”. it works every time i promise you. and if you’re shifting to a show, a movie, or even a game i highly recommend you rewatch/replay it so you know what to expect and what to take precautions to. and if you want to shift for the characters, add them to another and more safer dr. for example, i was debating on shifting to sally face but murder shit like that so i’m deciding to add the characters to a different dr (most likely a ghost hunter dr on that sam and colby type of beat but i haven’t decided yet).

this isn’t me forcing anyone to not shift to whatever dr they’re shifting to i just want you guys to think more about the dr you’re choking because again, your subconsciousness can and will pick up trauma and it’s not going to be fun to live with. anyways i love yall sm, be safe, make sure to drink water, eat something, go outside today, and do whatever makes you happy as long as you aren’t harming you or anyone around you (that’s not a threat btw i just try to make sure that when i say “do what makes you happy” it doesn’t result in violence 💀💀) <33

(also why is jacob elordi in saltburn so fine- i haven’t watched the movie fully but smth abt that eyebrow piercing 😮‍💨)

#shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #black shifters #shifters #shifting #shifting realities #shifting blog #shifting community #shifting antis dni

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ampleappleamble · 2 months ago

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COLD TAPES: WINTER OVER

holy shit i can't believe barely anyone is talking about this podcast. i've recently listened to it and i'm going fucking insane wanting to talk about it. its publisher Free Turn was dropping new episodes weekly up until just recently when they released their final episode until their ongoing contest to correctly guess the killer is over and they can reveal who it was sometime in late february. i don't want to sound like an advertisement because in no way shape or form are these people paying me to say this, but i really cannot state enough how fucking crazy i am about this good good podcast and i need to talk about it. so since this is my blog my house my rules, i'm just gonna go ahead and rant about it here.

okay here's how let's do this: first i'll write a summary of the overall plot of the series, then i'll start a lil profile on each character (well, most of them) and as i relisten later i'll add details including any meta commentary i might have about them, and then i'll finish off with a timeline, a theory (maybe a few theories), and a j'accuse with as thorough an explanation of my thought process as i can muster. so uh. okay here we go

PLOT SUMMARY

Cold Tapes: Winter Over is a police procedural/murder mystery podcast. set between Antarctica's Bowers Wilson Research Station and Scotland Yard, it is presented as a series of audio recordings of phone calls, spoken diary entries, and other conversations/interactions between the base crew members at Bowers Wilson (and their corporate bosses at parent company Khione Industries) and the police officers 9000+ miles away who are attempting to uncover the truth of the circumstances surrounding the death of one of the researchers at the station: Dr. Drew Fairfield, a human behavioral scientist and citizen of the United Kingdom who had been running a psychological experiment on/with the rest of the base crew. but because he died right in the middle of the unforgiving and totally sunless Antarctic winter, it is impossible for police to physically travel there, so they must essentially solve his murder over the phone, relying almost entirely on clever and thorough interrogation of the suspects and their own powers of reasoning. as a listener who is also privy to all these conversations, you are invited to attempt to solve the case yourself alongside the police investigation team (although this aspect is entirely meta and not at all mentioned in the show itself). our protagonist is DCI Tessa McCallister, a seasoned investigator from rural Scotland with a good amount of police work and some military experience under her belt.

the story is told in three phases: first, we listen to the recordings of the victim's baseline psychological assessment interviews with each member of the Antarctic base team, second, the initial police interviews with each suspect, and third, a round of secondary follow-up police interviews with a selection of suspects. there are transitional episodes before and after each of these major phases, starting with an introduction to the case, a post-mortem examination of the victim performed on base by the base medic, and later on a talk with the victim's family, professional testimony from toxicology, etc. most episodes run between 5 to 30 minutes long.

i'm gonna plop down a readmore here in a minute (EDIT: I PLOPPED IT DOWN 👆UP THERE👆 INSTEAD BECAUSE THIS GOT KINDA LONG) before i start my character profiles, in case you want to listen to it yourself (oh my god please do) with as fresh a perspective on the characters as possible to begin with. it's all available for free (with ads) wherever you get your podcasts, but if you wanna pay £5 and get the series with no ads and a few extra goodies like suspect dossiers and episode transcripts and (if you live in the UK) a chance to enter a contest to correctly guess whodunit and possibly win £10K, you can. i've read about folks outside the UK saying they were unable to purchase the subscription for some reason, but i can't confirm because in no universe do i think i could find it within myself to try to figure out how to go about paying for free entertainment, attached to a contest i'm unable to enter. sorry, Free Turn.

again i promise i am not being paid to promote this podcast, i just really really enjoy it and only maybe like 20 people total are talking about it on some tiny subreddit and my thoughts and feelings regarding it are clawing a hole through my chest in a desperate effort to get out into the world. you can blame my offputtingly fervent enthusiasm mostly on the excellent writing and incredible voice acting. also partially on actor Atli Gunnarsson for lending his voice to a prominent character in this podcast as well as to my very favorite character from my very favorite game ever (Vatnir from Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire for those of you who are new to me and my bullshit). i watched The Terror while on xmas vacation at my in-laws' house and looked it up on imdb only to find him listed in the cast, which then lead me to look up his imdb page which is how i found out about this podcast in the first place. so rest assured, i'm not a shill, i'm just a fucking weirdo.

anyway Please Listen to Cold Tapes. my final message. goodb ye

THE VICTIM

Andrew Fairfield. 33 years old. Behavioral scientist. British. Had been conducting a psychological research project on behalf of Khione Industries using the crew of Bowers Wilson Research Station as his subjects. The experiment ended prematurely when someone bashed him in the head with a blunt object and killed him. This was his third year wintering over at Bowers Wilson.

THE SUSPECTS

Johan Gunnarsson. 57 years old. Officer In Charge. Icelandic. Former military special forces and freighter ship/oil rig veteran. Somewhat recent widower and empty-nester. This year marks his tenth winter over at Bowers Wilson.

Matteo Lombardi. 27 years old. Deputy commander. Italian. Formerly of the Alpine Rescue Service.

Jasleen Batra. 30 years old. Base medical officer. Indian. Doctor of medicine/general practitioner. Most recently worked on-call for A&Ds in London. Aspires to return to India and open her own practice there.

Maria Flores. 28 years old. Climate researcher studying glacial ice melt. Argentinian. Openly in a romantic relationship with the victim, whom she first met during the preceding summer at Bowers Wilson. Was not originally planning to winter over but changed her mind and chose to stay.

Sienna Cooper. 29 years old. Biochemist studying extremophiles and fungal infection of microalgae. Australian. 6'1" and can fly.

Greg Fortin. 26 years old. Glaciologist focusing on beryllium isotope movement in glacial ice. Canadian. Passionate about climate change. This is his second year wintering over.

Hera Karlsen. 26 years old. Marine biologist specializing in the study of married to krill. Norwegian.

Anders Sorensen. 48 years old. Base plumbing engineer. Danish. Triathlete. This year marks his ninth winter over at Bowers Wilson.

Victor Chabal. 32 years old. Base electrician. French. Recently divorced from a former Bowers Wilson researcher he met on a previous winter over.

Kristoff Schulz. 24 years old. Astronomer studying neutrino generation. German. TikTok enthusiast.

Bridget Meissner. 22 years old. Geologist studying the "Blood Falls" phenomenon in a particular glacier. German.

Jack Anderson. 38 years old. Base mechanic. American. Texan, specifically. Former military, a knee injury from an IED in Iraq ended his military career. This year marks his third winter over at Bowers Wilson.

Luca Coetzee. 26 years old. Base radio technician. South African. Gamer nerd. His mother basically forced him to apply to winter over at Bowers Wilson, going so far as to fill out the paperwork for him.

Felipe Hernandez. 32 years old. Volcanologist studying glacial melt in relation to volcanic heat. Chilean. Massive conspiracy theorist. This is his second year wintering over.

Mark Renwick. 43 years old. Base engineer. British. Primarily maintains the heating systems at Bowers Wilson. Former military, history of PTSD related to his service, treated with medicine and therapy. This year marks his third winter over.

Scott Williams. 36 years old. Base chef. New Zealander. Aspires to own and operate his own food truck in Christchurch. Recovering alcoholic, sober for 6 years.

#cold tapes: winter over #cold tapes podcast #murder mystery #police procedural #podcast #me: WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS I NEED TO DISCUSS THIS #also me: ouughhh i hope i don't draw too much attention to myself

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gryficowa · 5 months ago

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Boycott!

I heard my mom and my cousin talking about Russia… Just something I'm talking about, more scared of Poland being attacked than of people dying in Ukraine (Same for Israel and it sucks), just the reason why I hate this bogeyman of Russia attacking Poland because, as usual, he turns his eyes away from what is actually happening, and people focus on fear, which in practice makes no sense…

It's just that the text about "Russia's attack on Poland" turns our eyes away from the fact that people are dying and I hate it, yes, because I'm not afraid of Putin and his "Attack" on Poland, I'm fucking afraid for the lives of fucking people, which is something we should Don't worry about fucking worrying right now, not about something that isn't fucking happening, because Putin can't fucking live with NATO

This is how the right wing directs citizens in this country, scaring them and turning their eyes away from what should actually come first, and often spreading false information, because that's the only way to control the people and make them do what you want, and everyone who doesn't do it they are abnormal, or "Enemies of Poland"

And I was even more disgusted by Harris's text, because it was fucking disgusting, using Putin as a scare makes all Putin's crimes less important and I fucking hate it, let's fucking deal with the victims of war and genocide, NOT A FUCKING IMAGINED SCENARIO WHAT WILL NOT HAPPEN OF MANY FUCKING REASONS

I'm tired of the texts about Putin attacking Poland because they diminish what THE FUCK THIS MAN IS DOING IN UKRAINE

If the only way you can convey that a person is evil is by saying that he will attack your country, then you are doing it fucking wrong, we all know that Israel is evil because it murders civilians and commits crimes, not because, for example, it will attack the USA

Anyway, Israel shot up a Russian air base in Syria, and I'm fucking worried about what effect it will have on Ukraine, but no, it's better to talk about Russia's alleged attack on Poland, because it's fucking appropriate in this situation

I'm just fed up with the fact that, as usual, people prefer to think about their privilege rather than what the people who lost it have to fucking endure

Now that I have your attention:

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goosesandsomegeese · 25 days ago

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Prologue The Axe Forgets But The Tree Remembers

After spending five years in the soul world they're finally all free, with no memories of being stuck within an endless void. Except of course, Peter Parker. A single good thing will never go his way; and this only further proves it.

Really hoping people will enjoy this, I haven't wrote anything in nearly three years so I'm hoping this will get me back into it. Please be patience and enjoy.

The soul world is endless. It's like walking in space, Peter decided one day (did he decide today? Last week? Last year? Who knows. Who really cares?), except at least space has stars and planets and some kind of hope of another life that isn't half of the earth's population. Sure he's met cool people, but no one can really be cool when they slowly lose their sanity after several years stuck inside an endless walkable orangey-yellow ground, with orangey-yellow skies to match.

They're also not cool when they take it out on you, the youngest superhero, because you're the easiest punching bag.

Dr. Strange lost it on everyone when they first materialised, mainly Star-lord. The brawls and fights that ensued were eventful. It took only a week before everyone gave up hope and started turning on each other; any weapon anyone still had was thrown and used.

Peter could be grateful for meeting Lord T'Challa, but his usually calm demeanour had been destroyed long ago.

"Still your fault!" Dr. Strange yelled as he stormed back and forth with his permanent scowl on his face.

"He killed Gamora! How would you feel?" Star-lord shouted back, his hands pulling at his hair.

This was maybe the hundredth time Peter had heard the same fight. He mouthed the words he knew off by heart. If he could find a wall he'd slam his head into it, or crawl into a ball and face it until his organs finally gave out on him. If they'd ever. Peter's only hope here was that he'd one day die. He didn't know of what. Murder clearly wouldn't do it, but his body was still ageing. He wasn't entirely sure.

"I know how I'd feel because everyone I know is dead!" The statement was most likely true; not many planets had survived Thanos' snap, devolving into madness, and if Peter knew anything about humanity, it was that it was not something that could survive this. May was dead. Mr. Stark was dead. So were Ned, MJ, Liz… At least they weren't here. Wherever here is.

Soon, the fight would drag Peter in, unwillingly. He had tried to get out of it multiple times, but it was like Groundhog day. Doomed to be repeated. Time and time again.

"Peter!" Here we go again.

When the fight died down and everyone was licking their wounds, Peter slowly rose to his feet, blood dripping from his cheek, and made his way over to Bucky and Dr. Strange.

"Stephen." Peter greeted, sitting down beside them. They didn't seem to like each other; no one here liked anyone. They just happened to end up beside each other when everyone else was too tired to restart the fight.

"Spider-Man, if you are here to ask again about if I have any new ideas. I don't. I don't, and I never fucking will. Leave me alone." Okay. Great. "You're even more useless than good ol' Star-Lord over there. If you had a single brain cell in that empty head, you'd leave me alone."

"You're young and full of hope; just lose it, kid. We're never getting out of here." Bucky joined in, his face full of anger and hatred.

Peter looked down, feeling ashamed. He knew he was just an annoying child in their eyes, but it always hurt to hear. He had no hope; he just wanted to talk to someone about anything. None of them cared to try and get along, and it was devastatingly lonely to only ever hear fights day in and day out.

Peter grumbled an apology, rose to his feet, and walked away. There was nowhere to go, but anywhere that wasn't in earshot was an improvement.

Peter stumbled upon Mantis. It was awful talking to her; she'd somehow managed to keep track of the days, although he didn't believe she was totally or at all accurate. Within the first month Peter went to her nearly every day to ask the date; his hope had still been alive that they would get out. Now he went just to twist the knife in his heart that they were definitely never getting out. This time was different; he was nearly certain he knew the date, but he wasn't positive.

Mantis sat next to Drax and Groot. They rarely said anything to each other besides playing simple hand games Star-Lord and Peter had taught them.

Drax spotted Peter first and yet said nothing; neither of them had anything to say to each other, and Peter couldn't handle another rejection today, or maybe for another month. Maybe ever. He could always sit in a different part of the void, letting everyone walk by him and yet never saying a word to any of them. He could sit with people who didn't even speak the same language so he couldn't hear when they were insulting him. Maybe he could walk far enough anyway that he'd see a section that was more yellowy-orange than orangey-yellow. Who knows. The possibilities are endless.

Mantis looked at him, "August 10th." She told him, then laid on her back and stared up.

"Thank you." He'll try his best to not lose his manners. His patience and hope? Maybe. But Aunt May had raised him better than to ever be rude.

Drax opened his mouth to say something, but Peter was already turning away, scratch never being rude.

He once again walked far enough away to be out of earshot of anyone, sat himself down, and closed his eyes, remembering his 16th birthday, May forcing him to sit down, and he winced from the cuts that had yet to heal on his lower back as he blew out his candles. She kissed his forehead and joked he'd be 18 before she even knew it. Before Thanos, she had begun planning his 17th birthday, something he was reluctant to agree to (What if something happened and the people of New York needed their friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man?). She told him it was his last birthday before he was a legal adult and he needed to expect nothing but greatness on it and to invite all his friends. She threw out ideas like paintballing, go-karting, or even having a few drinks at the apartment. Aunt May was so excited.

He wondered how she'd feel now. 19 years old and yet with nothing to show for it. He couldn't look in a mirror to see if he'd aged; no one would hold a conversation long enough for him to ask, and everyone else was at an age where their ageing wasn't visible.

If Aunt May had been snapped, which he prayed she hadn't as death was a much nicer fate than this, he'd yet to find her. When everyone first flooded in, it was chaos. The superheroes tried to calm everyone, create order, but no one trusted them anymore. After a while everyone stopped caring who else was in here. There was no one to tell if everyone who'd been a victim of Thanos even ended up here, although it was likely. Billions of people were here, all of them scared. They all seemed to stay put now, devoid of any emotion.

Peter Parker laid down, knowing all too well how pointless the idea of sleep was and, yet he sang to himself with his eyes closed, hoping it would work.

"Happy birthday to me…"

#Peter Parker #Spiderman #MCU #mcu fandom #dr. strange #marvel #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #angst

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wolveria · 2 years ago

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The Raven’s Hymn - Ch 29

Pairing: SCP-049 x Reader

Series Warnings (18+ only): Eventual smut, dubcon, slow burn, violence, horror, death, monsters, human experiments, dark with a happy ending

Chapter Summary: "You... you have to stop doing this, 049."

Additional Fic Rec: The Corvid Paean

AO3

049 remained silent as he worked to untie the rope binding your hands together. You also didn’t speak, trying to catch your breath and slow your heart. Your limbs shook, your mind a scattered mess, and you suspected you were more upset about this than 049 was.

Perhaps he noticed.

“You are angry with me.”

You pressed your lips together, waiting for 049 to finish pulling apart the rope, rubbing your wrist once it was free. The skin was irritated, chaffed from the force of his lunge at Dr. Puli.

The SCP’s eyes softened as he reached toward the mild injury.

His arm hung in the air as you backed out of reach.

“You… you have to stop doing this, 049.”

“Please, specify.”

Still rubbing your wrist, you frowned at him.

“You know what I mean. You have to stop forcing your cure on people.”

049 gathered himself, head raised at a dignified angle.

“It is my duty as a doctor—”

“No!” You took a step forward. “That was not a duty. That was an assault! You-you have complete tunnel vision when it comes to the Pestilence, and you see nothing else!”

049’s head tilted, his own gaze searching yours for understanding.

“It is my purpose for being. There is nothing but the war against the Pestilence.”

You seethed through your teeth, the sound coming out like the warning hiss of an animal.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t act like a physician, you act like a soldier. You carry out orders only you can hear, against an enemy only you can see, and you leave a trail of bodies in your wake!”

You were panting by this point, the adrenaline reawakening in your veins, and something took hold of you: a conviction that you were on the right track, an intuition that you were close to achieving the truth.

You gathered a breath, bracing yourself.

“Do you even know what the Pestilence is?”

049’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

“I’ve seen the interview tapes. You refuse to give anyone a straight answer. What the Pestilence is, what its symptoms are, where it comes from, how it can be cured. You won’t even explain your own cure or admit what you do is lethal.”

He remained quiet.

“I could look past all of it,” you quietly said. “The obsession, the stubbornness, the pride. Except you refuse to acknowledge it. You refuse to admit that before me, nothing you touched survived. You kill and call it a cure.”

049’s fists clenched at his sides, but he still said nothing, his gaze intent on your face. He may not have moved, but he was breathing faster than normal. A sign you perhaps should have heeded.

“It’s why your followers never stayed.” Your words grew bitter and jagged, surprising even yourself. “They knew the path you walked wasn’t one of science. It was madness. Zealotry and fanaticism. Righteousness in the form of a crusade, and you slaughtered anyone who didn’t take up your banner.”

Your throat ached, and you tried to blink away the burning of your eyes.

“Pernella saw it. She knew to follow you was to follow death, but she did it anyway, because she believed in your convictions. Right up until she couldn’t ignore the truth about you.”

“Stop.”

He spoke the word without force, almost like a plea. But you didn’t stop.

“It doesn’t matter whether the Pestilence is real or not, or if it’s just as dangerous as you say. Because the danger you pose is very real.”

“Desist,” he said, louder this time.

“And when she stood up to you, you couldn’t accept it. Her denial forced you to look at yourself, and instead of facing your actions, you killed her. That’s why you couldn’t bring her back. You didn’t cure her, you murdered her in cold blood—”

“Enough!”

049 moved close, looming over you as his eyes burned bright and feverish. For a moment, you thought he might simply end it. Strangle the life out of you until there was nothing left. Instead, his voice was oddly breathless.

“Speak… no more of this.”

You stared at him for a long moment, breathing hard while he did the same. It would have been intimate, sharing the same breaths as him, but the atmosphere between you was stifled and charged.

“I need to know.” You were still breathless, as if he truly had stolen all your air. “If I got sick again, and your touch no longer healed me… would you kill me?”

The emotions in his eyes slowly receded, until a blank, sterile coldness took its place.

“There are things worse than death.”

Whatever response you had died in your throat. You turned away from him, eyes stinging with unshed tears you didn’t want him to see, and you retreated to the only place you could. You laid down on the bed, facing the wall as you turned your back to him.

Despite wanting to shut him out, you could still hear his quiet breathing, uneven and ragged. After a moment, he migrated to the desk, the soft creak of the chair indicating he was sitting, but you heard nothing else. No scratch of the pen and no turn of a page.

Remorse crept into your heart like an unwanted weed, choking off the righteous anger that had fueled your words. It had felt good at the time, as conviction always did, but throwing Pernella’s death in his face didn’t sit well. Even if 049 had killed her, he couldn’t help what he was, a fact you’d forgotten. Or perhaps not forgotten, but ignored, lured by his soothing voice, his kind eyes. His humanity.

But 049 wasn’t human. He would never be human, and you’d needed another harsh lesson that he would always put his self-proclaimed duty first, before himself and especially before you.

You closed your eyes, willing sleep to take you, but your weariness wouldn’t let you rest. You weren’t willing to give up on 049 just yet. Even if he couldn’t change, even if this was who he would be long after your lifetime, you’d gone through too much to set that aside now.

After all, 049 wasn’t the only one who could fight for a lost cause.

***

You woke with a headache, the result of not resting well, but you couldn’t pinpoint what had awoken you. The room was silent, the lights dimmed, and the heaviness of your limbs told you that hours had passed.

It was too quiet.

Bolting upright, you went still at the bent figure at the desk. 049 sat with his eyes cast downwards, his gaze on the desk without truly fixing on it, and he barely seemed to breathe.

The inner containment door was open, and the slide tray clinking open meant it was breakfast. But food was far from your mind at the unnerving display of stillness. It reminded you too much of when you’d first started observing the SCP. Dr. Puli had called it a dormancy stage.

There was nothing dormant about the hunch of his shoulders or the defeated bow of his head.

You left the inner containment chamber without speaking, taking the tray of oatmeal and strawberries, eating without tasting. As much as you wanted to apologize, you needed a little time and distance to lick your wounds and gain perspective. Maybe 049 would appreciate some time to himself. Telling yourself that eased the guilt, anyway.

You ate quietly in the middle room, not expecting 049 to want the company, so you were surprised when he emerged as you finished your meal.

“I wish to clarify a point of discussion.”

“Okay,” you said slowly, keeping your gaze safely near his boots. “What?”

When he didn’t speak for a moment, you looked up. 049’s attention was fixed on the far wall, his posture stiff.

“In regard to your question… it is a moot one. You cannot be reinfected with the Pestilence. Your very essence repels the disease, keeping it at bay. I am unsure why you were infected to start, but… you are clean. And I suspect, you will always remain clean.”

If you were supposed to know what that meant, it was lost on you.

“That’s not the point.”

He finally looked at you.

“I do not understand.”

“I wanted to know if you were capable of changing. If… if I had changed you.” You let out a breath, embarrassment creeping up your neck in a wave of heat. “It was a stupid question. A selfish one. An SCP can’t change. It’s not in your nature… no matter how much I might wish otherwise.”

There was confusion in his eyes, but a sort of focused intent too. He stepped forward, but the intercom clicked live.

“SCP-049, please return to the inner containment chamber.” A pause. “SCP-6830, remain in the middle containment chamber.”

It wasn’t Leahy. It was Kenneth. And those instructions meant one of two things: they were either going to take you away for testing, or they were going to separate you permanently.

049’s gaze turned sharp and worried, and you gave him your own bewildered look. You didn’t want this to be the last words you spoke to him, but as you opened your mouth, the intercom clicked again.

“This is your last warning, SCP-049.”

The words were given with a hint of nerves rather than authority, but that’s what Kenneth was like, always skittish around the humanoid SCPs. You didn’t know why he was even in the Cryptopsychology department, but now that you were no longer a junior researcher, they were probably short-staffed.

You pressed your lips together, whatever you were going to tell 049 remaining unsaid. The SCP didn’t seethe at you being taken away, nor did he fight or threaten. He didn’t even resist besides lingering those last few seconds, giving you a soft gaze you couldn’t meet for long.

It was easier this way, you told yourself as you stared at the far corner near the main containment doors. They were going to take you away eventually, and it was better that 049 didn’t fight back and get hurt again.

The excuses were all very well and good, but they didn’t do a damn thing for the regret. You flinched as the inner containment doors closed behind you, and when the security team put you in shackles and escorted you out, you immediately wanted to turn around and run back inside.

You thought you’d be taken to your new cell. You were wrong. The security team led you to the Biohazard Zone of Humanoid Heavy Containment, a place where an anomaly of your type didn’t belong.

Your stomach churned as your throat tightened at the familiar halls; you had walked them many times before during your previous occupation. Though you were confident SCPs no longer had the ability to kill you, they’d proven they could certainly harm you, and this particular SCP was skilled in inflicting untold amounts of damage.

Your entourage of security guards was replaced by two men in thick hazmat gear. They removed your manacles, leaving you only in your white smock as they led you through three different airlocks. The last one, you entered alone. No instructions given.

The remaining airlock opened, and you stepped inside the containment chamber. It was empty, save for a pedestal in the middle. A hermetically sealed glass case on a platform, locked by a remote mechanism.

Inside sat an object so innocuous in appearance that no one outside the Foundation would believe the horror that could be wrought by this single mask. Its white ceramic surface gleamed in the florescent lighting, a fixed smile greeting you like an old friend.

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