#please! if anyone else has anything to add I’d love to hear/discuss it!

[seafoamsol]

Ended up talking about a Transformers / Rainworld crossover more in-depth on my Twitter, and thought it would be fun to share with you guys as well! Most of this will be based off TF: ONE, but elements from other continuities are mentioned. Warnings for rain world spoilers!

I noted there were some similarities between how Primus made Cybertronians, in the same way that the ancients made purposed organisms.

There’s also something to be said about titans, and how they can fit in this. Cityspeakers fill the space as part puppet, part mark of communication. The face paint is even a physical indication! Titans could act as the superstructures perhaps, as everyone lives in/atop them, and while titans don’t really have a goal as far as I know in canon, they have a responsibility to the citizens to keep them happy (and vice versa)— what happens when the citizens wish to end their effectively immortal lives?

The way slugcats achieve ascension is through passing through the void sea, deeper and deeper until their body dissolves. In ONE we can see that the core of the planet is primus’s spark. IDW2’s Immersant practice, gradually losing all senses of self (rescinding worldly vices?) until they are reclaimed. Maybe it’s more difficult, with Primus rejecting those that are trying to enter his spark (well of allsparks?) who haven’t reached a state of nirvana. It’s on the individual to erase themselves as clean as possible, for their spark to be reused. Very difficult process.

Titans, being too large, being unable to slip through the small cracks that an average cybertronian can.

Drilling for energon + cave collapse is closer to what happens if you try to go immersant without properly reaching a state of enlightenment?

Titans exist as drilling platforms, research cities, to find out an easy way for all of their citizens to ascend. Pushed further and further into the ground, constantly having their drills crushed by cybertron protecting itself, rebuilding themselves. It’s a costly endeavor.

I’m not much of a writer, I’m sure people who have more coherent thoughts can say more. Most of the time I’m utterly useless with rainworld conversation because once I think of Slugcat my entire head just empties itself and all I can think of is heehee funny scug

Feel free to add any notes!

[skeedelvee]

Ayy! I'm finally trying one of these! Thank you everyone that's tagged me in theirs in the past, I always like getting the notifications so I can check out all of your wonderful WIPs! <3

Doing a few WIPs since I've got a bunch going and I've gotten interest in a few.

First up is Second Moon! This is a sequel to my fic First Moon in which Simon is experiencing his first time transforming into a were-dragon. These fics are inspired by @frjsti 's amazing artwork! The sequel is about his 2nd time transforming and how Simon and Baz handle it differently now they know what they're in for and they've had time to prep for and crave certain fantasies for the next full moon. Here's a snippet of them discussing Baz wanting to bottom this time around:

He’s got his academic face on, as if we were talking about the merits of some new magical theory and not him taking my foot long dragon cock up his arse. “Still, there's a lot of risk involved in this. Even if I don’t destroy your arse, there’s still my claws and my fire breath to worry about. It’s a bit dangerous, innit?” “I thought you were the one to always face danger head on.” “I am, but this really isn’t about me.” “Isn’t it? Listen. If you really don’t want to do this, I won’t press for it, but it’s what I want and I’m not afraid of what might happen. I trust you.” I mull it over for a moment before he adds: “And if you do manage to kill me, please make sure my headstone reads ‘Here lies Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. He died doing what he loved: getting railed by Simon Snow’s monster cock.” I snort. “Your father would have my head if I even suggested that.” “Then I’ll have to have it written up in an official will,” he says with a smile. “What will it be then, Snow? Do you want this?” There’s no point lying about it. “Yes. I want it. I want you. You have to promise me though, that you won’t let me hurt you. Don’t muscle through it for my sake. Say your safe word as soon as things turn bad.” “I promise, Simon.”

@stitchy-queerista wanted to hear more about A Good High, so I'll do that one as well!

A Good High is a one shot non-magic college roommate AU where Shepard leaves a pot brownie for Simon on what he thinks is his desk, but is actually Baz's desk. Baz thinks it's a normal brownie from Simon, eats it and gets really high by accident. Simon gets back to the dorm, finds Baz in his current state and has to turn Baz's bad high into a good one. Here's a snippet:

“Have you seen Ratatouille?” I ask as I set up my laptop at the foot of the bed. Baz is hugging his knees to his chest, but he’s lost that panicked look in his eyes. They look sleepy instead, droopy and dark like they are first thing in the morning (it’s very distracting). “I have four younger siblings, of course I’ve seen Ratatouille.” “Right, of course. Well, it always helps me relax, so it might help you,” I say as I make a fluffy pile of pillows to collapse against. “Just try to focus on the movie for a bit and let it melt your anxieties away.” The movie plays and I sit back, kick my feet up, I get immersed in Remi’s story as a start to feel the gummy kick in. I’m so relaxed that I almost forget about how Baz was feeling, but as soon as I do remember, I can’t seem to think of anything else. I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He’s watching the film and his breathing seems relaxed, but there’s something about his face that still looks raw, something about his posture that still seems on edge. I wish I could magically make this better for him. If he were anyone else I’d probably know what to do to cheer him up, but we’ve only just (kind of, sort of) started to get along. I don’t know if I’ve ever truly seen him relaxed before now that I think of it, he even looks tense while he sleeps. Maybe I should just ask him about what would help. “Psst, Baz, can I get you anything? Tea? Or a snack?” “No, I’m fine.” “A blanket?” “No.” He curls in on himself more and I mentally start kicking myself. Fuck, I’m making it worse. I wrack my brains for an idea to make this better, ignoring the little voice in my head telling me to leave well enough alone. Maybe if I got him to laugh that might get him out of this funk. “How about a cuddle then?” It was supposed to be a joke, but I can’t manage to laugh at it. My heart is beating out of my chest as the words leave my mouth. It’s a silly notion, the two of us cuddling, and I know it's something he’d never go for. And part of me is still hoping he’ll think it’s funny and he’ll break into a smile as he laughs it off, but the other part of me is desperate for him to say yes.

And @roomwithanopenfire wanted to hear about my untitled Gareth/Rhys fic, so I'll do that one too

This one is fairly new actually. It's kind of inspired by an outfit of mine actually. A lot of people who have met me IRL will probably have seen me in this, but I like to call it my Gareth as a slutty queer woman cosplay; a black crop top, black short shorts, and a brown belt with a white jaguar enamel belt buckle. I was wearing it recently and thinking about Gareth and thinking about a fem Gareth (I call her Gi in this) wielding the magic thrusting belt buckle, and then I started to write this. It's a getting together story about Gareth and Rhys with mutual pining. It starts with the two of them in their room, unpacking and settling into the space for their 8th year. Gi has her skirt tucked into her underpants and it's a whole thing for Rhys. Here's a snippet:

I can feel myself blush down to my toes. Thankfully, Gi discovers the state of her skirt and is distracted from seeing the full state of my complexion. “Has it been tucked in this whole time?” “Pretty much,” I wince. She snorts and then giggles as she unbuttons the thing and kicks it underneath her bed. I try to keep my eyes above her waist. “I hope my grandma saw. It’s what she deserves for insisting I ‘dress like a lady’ in her presence.” She’s stepping into her school trousers now, she has to do a little wiggle jump to get them over her thick thighs (it’s poetry in the making). “She has seen how you cast spells, right? Surely trousers should be the least of her worries.” “I wear the buckle as a bracelet when the old bat’s visiting. Mum says she has ‘a poor constitution’ and I’ll ‘send her to an early grave’ if I try thrusting spells around her.” Gi does a poor imitation of her mother’s voice, playing up the theatrics for my entertainment. I watch her as she lovingly threads her belt through each of the loops on her trousers, it’s like watching a superhero put on their suit for the very first time. She does a turn in front of the mirror, smiles at her reflection, and then shoots finger guns at herself. I can’t help but smile too. I’m so in love with her, it hurts.

And here’s my belt buckle that inspired this:

I think most of you have already posted yours for the day, but I'll tag: @bookish-bogwitch @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @aristocratic-otter @roomwithanopenfire @stitchy-queerista @artsyunderstudy @noblecorgi @monbons @rimeswithpurple @ileadacharmedlife @facewithoutheart

[phantomwyvern]

Pokes u gently... How developed is the AU you've talked abt where you drag Firth thru a redemption arc? Do u wanna talk abt it. I wanna discuss that little loser. I want him to be in immense pain /silly

YOU GET IT!!! TO THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BLENDER WITH THAT LITTLE BLUE BASTARD!!

Kay, this does have an outline and dialogue for it so far in my docs and it’s gotten me to pick up comic art again. Under a cut because this got long af. And as always feel free to ask about anything else or even add your thoughts or what you think would be fun for this AU, I’d love to hear them. Also if you see anything in here that strikes you and want to do something with please take it and run with it. Whatever you come up with is bound end up different than mine on some level and I’d love to see what you do with it, universal blessing for plot beat borrowing.

The basic premise is Firth manages to dig himself from under the boot bar, into a New Carcinia that has been launched into a Great Depression because Firth has managed to make the vast majority of trash completely worthless within a matter of hours. You can find pretty much any type of trash you want by just digging around for it in the city now, the value for just about anything that isn’t a building material to them has tanked HARD. And on top of that people going nuts from getting Gunked has went from basically unheard of in the reef to a near daily thing. Crab Raccoon City my guy, Crab Ragoon City if you will.

Pretty much all the trash Firth had saved up as a just in case scenario is completely worthless now, and seeing as he seemed to be a trash reseller of some sort before all this, he no longer really has that as prospect seeing as that’s likely not in very high demand. He’s walking around with injuries both from his fight with Kril and being crushed by a building. His apartment building has been completely destroyed because of the trash island he decided needed to be dumped on top of the city. He has screwed himself and literally everyone else over so fucking bad with his idea and his only saving grace is that he, Kril and (unbeknownst to him) Nemma and Chitan, are the only ones who know he did it so he doesn’t have a whole angry mob after him for this.

Firth is now in the same place of everyone he’s ever thought he was above, and he has no clue what the hell to do about that. But he’s still in denial about any of this being a terrible idea, he thinks this was still a great idea on some level! If only everyone did what he thought they should have done things would have been perfect. He refuses to take responsibility for any of this, and blames everyone else for not acting how he wanted them to for his ideas to work. (It’s not Firth if he isn’t still kind of the worst, and he still has capitalist brain rot really bad. Don’t worry though, this is a redemption AU.)

He eventually runs into an old business partner named Strait. Strait is OC I made specifically for this and he’s very much meant to be a reflection of Firth if Firth was more self aware of just how selfish he was and knew how awful everything was for anyone who wasn’t actively in charge of stuff on some level and just…didn’t care and actively leaned into it.

And Strait, seeing how dire Firth’s situation is decides to take advantage of this. He offers Firth a job that he knows he doesn’t really have any choice but to take, and knows he won’t be able to leave as well with how injured he is and seeing as Firth never really mentions any family or close friends, and to be honest is probably someone who has a hard time asking for help and likely had a pull yourself up by you bootstraps mentality won’t have any help to get out of it. He knows Firth is desperate and a desperate worker is a hard worker and Firth already sees him as a friend so he can also spin this as Firth doing a favor for his friend. Strait sees the power vacuum that Roland left after he disappeared and is gunning to take it over and he’s going to need a lot of people to help him take that place, which in his eyes means to screw a lot of people over, and his old “friend” Firth unfortunately just so happens to be in a very convenient place for him to do so.

Firth begins working for Strait, very much under the impression his friend is actively trying to help him, completely unaware that he’s in no better of a position than everyone who ever worked for Roland was. Every time he sees someone get injured or gunked and he himself gets injured he goes to complain to Strait. Strait who always says he’s going to fix it, but that never happens. Firth waits and waits, watches as more and more people get Gunked and injured, including him when Strait starts sending him to kill the gunked crabs. Crabs that he had gotten to know usually and was sometimes friends with.

Firth’s mental health spirals further and further down until he’s eventually forced to acknowledge that this is just what happens to the people who aren’t on top, this is how you run a financially successful business that doesn’t stop growing. You oil its machinery with blood and cruelty and you can never stop. He doesn’t want do that to other people, doesn’t want others to die and get injured just so he can make money. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but that had been pretty much all he’d done before he’d wound up here. From trying to kill Kril to dumping trash on New Carcinia and getting just about everyone in the city sick. His world view is finally beginning to completely destabilize.

Enter Kril and Chitan, who post canon have become an adventuring bestie duo and are surviving and thriving despite the horrors. Protecting people from the gunked crabs. Kicking the asses of people who are screwing everyone over like Magista and Roland, which is how they hear about Strait.

The decide “Yeah, this guy probably needs his ass kicked, let’s make him regret every single decision that lead him here!” And off they go to storm Strait’s company!

Which is how they finally run into Firth again!

Strait sent Firth to go confront Kril, having already been using him as a sort of living shield up to this point. And Firth is rightfully fucking terrified when he realizes who Strait sent him to try and scare off considering the fact Kril kicked his ass even when had god powers and Kril seems to have gotten only stronger since then. The second Kril lays eyes on him and realizes that Firth survived, he knows he’s screwed beyond belief.

And Kril is pissed to see Firth. That’s not just Firth’s new found fear of him talking. He sees Firth looking to start another fight and jumps in without thinking twice about it.

And Firth is still fucking terrified but he also realizes he’s angry at Kril too. Kril who ruined his whole plan, Kril who broke the Whorl so neither of them could even fix what happened, Kril who who didn’t even have the shucking guts to finish the job and kill him and now he had now choice but to work for Strait with no way out that he could possible see.

What had begun as physical fight that Firth was terrified off descends into a yelling match with Firth blaming Kril for all this because he still refuses to take responsibility for his actions and there consequences and Kril calling him out on every single thing he knows Firth has done. From all the shit he pulled and said on the treasure hunt. To how he stole a magic glowing shell he knew nothing about and dumped trash on everything he’s even known and now the fact he’s blaming Kril for his own stupid and selfish actions. Tells Firth how he’s glad he failed to kill him because it’s only fair that he gets to live through the consequences of said actions along with everyone else.

And this is what finally completely shatters Firths world view. He knows Kril is right, has been thinking how Kril was right about him being selfish since not long after he got to Straits. How he very well could have been the one hurting other people like Strait’s been hurting him and all the other workers here in slightly different circumstances.

Firth finally just crumbles. Like full on sobbing crumbles as all the guilt, stress, grief, fear and anger and accepts the fact Kril is probably finally going to kill him here, thinks he deserves it even, he knew Kril would make it quick. That Kril was still merciful.

And that’s when Kril finally stops looking through his lenses of anger and finally takes a good look at Firth. Realizes just how beaten down and broken he looks. He’s injured, looks like he’s barely been getting anything to eat and Kril swears he sees the early signs of a gunk infection on him.

As much as he’s still upset with Firth he just feels like sort of a bully now. Firth is in no better of a position than all the other crabs here. Kril is stronger and in better shape than him by a long shot and Kril still decided to beat him up. Whether or not he still thought Firth was a complete jerk he didn’t think he deserved this.

So Kril tells Firth to wait right there and that he would be right back.

He goes off to find Chitan who had went ahead to go see if she could get a hold of Strait only to be told that Strait had escaped.

He tells Chitan he wants to help Firth. Chitan is far from enthusiastic seeing as Firth almost let her die because he stole the Whorl and then poisoned the entire city. She kind of wants to just kill Firth and be done with it but she sees Kril is trying to help someone and is willing to help him with that with the caveat that if Firth fucks up too bad and becomes a threat they do away with him.

They begin deciding where they want to take Firth because they don’t know of any family he has and they saw how his last friend went.

And then Kril lands on Moonsnail! Kril knows Moonsnail won’t hurt Firth, y’know probably.

They bring Firth to Moonsnail, not realizing they are about to put Firth with someone who is he is going to hate between Moonsnail narrating his own and everyone else’s actions and the fact Firth is now pretty scared of Umami Magic thanks to the Whorl.

Kril very briefly thinks this might be a bad idea before deciding they don’t have any better ones and there’s a Moonsnail shell right there so he can just come check on them every now and then. Chitan thinks the thought of both Firth and Moonsnail tormenting eachother is entertaining so she isn’t about to start thinking about anything other options either.

Cue the one of the stupidest situations Firth has ever been in. Moonsnail narrates whatever Firth does half the time because he finds it amusing. Firth is still scared of magic but his irritation with Moonsnail far outweighs any fear of him. And he can’t even bring himself to be mad at Kril for this. Kril didn’t have to help him with any of this, especially after all the shit he’s pulled, but he still did and even came by to check on him on a regular basis. Every time he mentally curses Kril for bringing him here he feels bad about it 5 seconds later. Kril still cared about him despite the fact he’d been a complete jerk so he wants to at least try and make him happy rather than do nothing besides complain about his new roommate.

Kril comes by to visit every couple of days, both to talk and check in on them, and honestly he does sort of just find Moonsnail’s and Firth’s interactions funny at this point.

Moonsnail eventually says that he senses some Umami abilities in Firth, gives him the magic awakening zap and tells Firth to try out some combat magic, Firth immediately hates it because it just reminds him of when he had the Whorl. So now he has new abilities he doesn’t even want.

And then one day Kril comes to visit them with a injury that’s a bit to concerning for Firth to just shrug off, because he does care about Kril quite a bit at this point if he’s being honest.

So rather than combat magic Moonsnail tells him to try healing magic instead. And what do you know he has a knack for it.

This is what I have outlined out for the most part. There’s a good chance this is going to get shippy with Kril and Firth and because they make a great enemies to lovers ship and I love something that’s one sided pining before it gets to be two sided and theybalso work really well for that, but they might also just become close friends we’ll see what I’m vibing with more.

Anyways thanks so much for asking about my silly AU, I hope didn’t spring to to much on yall but who am I kidding when I’m on the other side of this situation I’ll usually eat this up.

[im-out-of-it]

I know what I said but bonus part season 2, episode 6 continued RELATIONSHIPS TAKE EFFORT continued “iron sisters” continued (it’s continued obviously)

140. and yes, they have issues to get through but this was the cutest form of hey I really admire you and your past freaks me the fuck out but I want to stay and work through this and I don’t know shit about dating but I hear relationships take effort so let’s do this thing. so I’m just going to add all the ones I probably already did and forgot about (but wouldn’t you rather see more than less?)

141. READ THE FUCKING ROOM (THE WAY MAGS WAS HOLDING ONTO ALEC)

143. Magnus: BITCH LEAVE

144. the kiss but in black and white because you bet this date will come up in the next season

145. AND I LOVE HOW MAGNUS HAS HIS FINGER ON HIS LIPS AFTER KISSING ALEC

146. Alec: bro this is my boyfriends house. you can’t just invite yourself in

147. it makes me mad how jace walks in like he owns the place and is like got a spare room? Magnus is too nice to say no but Magnus didn’t have to do that. if I were Magnus and I saw how you had been treating my boyfriend, I’d put your worthless ass on the street

148. jace has a home but he has too much of a big ass ego to tolerate a demotion. Jace always has to be in the spotlight because how dare he pay for any of his actions

149. if someone just barged in with a bag, I’d say no like 1. you came unannounced and 2. I don’t like you

150. Maia and Simon have such a good friendship

151. Izzy is like I almost died and aldertree acting like he didn’t know yin fein has vampire properties lmao and even when clary still doesn’t share anything, Izzy still has her back IZZY IS TOO GOOD FOR CLARY

152. shit it beats me because I would’ve been like she did this and said that so just ship her ass to idris ITS WAY PASSED TIME lmao I don’t care if it’s petty. Izzy and Alec do everything for clary and jace and they both act like it’s never good enough. and they also treat everyone else as if they are superior because they have PuRe AnGeL bLoOd 🙄 and then they continue to lie and hide things from Alec and Izzy. and who is constantly solving your problems because it certainly isn’t themselves smh

wow so 152 was the number and yes I went overboard and no I don’t care just kidding I do care. so much Malec content in this episode!!!!!!! thank your for joining we love seeing show Malec enjoy each other as they date and holy fuck 17,000 is a fucking lot but so is 0 and ugh can clary just shut the fuck up now please discussion post

I seriously can’t wait until Izzy is like no I don’t want to be near you. yeah she’s reacting from the yin fein soon but Izzy has been way too fucking kind to clary. Jace and clary needed so many wake up calls and to be put in their place

also how dare jace take advantage of kind wonderful beloved Magnus. Alec should have properly went off. it’s even worse what he does when 1. Magnus plans a party for Alec and his family and 2. Jace is trying to compare him and clary to Malec. BRO IF YOU DONT FUCKING STOP

but I may try to start the next episode today maybe probably maybe not who knows but thank you anyone who has been reading and paying attention to me

[starweed]

explaining my autistic hinata hc

“star,” you may be asking, “why are you doing this to yourself? you are sick and should be sleeping, not explaining something nobody has asked you to explain.”

the answer? because i want to and none of you can stop me.

to start with, a special interest in autism is an interest that is passionate and intensely focused and they can be absorbing to the point that they’re the only thing that somebody wants to do or talk about (they’re also typically much longer lasting than hyperfixations). you can very obviously see these characteristics in hinata’s love for volleyball and how it seems to be the only thing he talks about. he practices all of the time, and sure it’s to get better, but that comes from an all encompassing love of the sport.

he also uses volleyball to connect with people in meaningful ways. one example off the top of my head is when he meets kenma for the first time. sure, the interaction starts with him asking about a video game, but you can see how hinata becomes so much more invested in the conversation once kenma confirms that he plays volleyball. he immediately becomes much more comfortable in the situation with the presence of somebody who also has an interest in volleyball.

he seems to have trouble connecting to people without the use of volleyball. he doesn’t have any friends besides the people he knows from volleyball, and that may be a lot of people but it’s still true. we don’t know what happened with his friends from middle school, but we never see or hear from them again after he starts high school. in my opinion, that indicates that he has trouble keeping up with friends when they’re not seeing each other fairly often. which also helps explain why he was so nervous about losing his friends when he was in brazil (other than the obvious reasons). he also seems to have trouble picking up social cues, when he met kenma he didn’t really pick up on the fact that kenma seemed pretty uncomfortable with the situation. there are also other instances that i cannot be arsed to find rn, but do know that they exist.

also the gestures that he makes when he’s talking about volleyball seem like stimming to me, especially since he does it when talking about what i see as his special interest. i’m speaking from personal experience when i say that i tend to stim more when i’m talking about my special interest or a current hyperfixation. the fidgeting that he does in general could be considered stimming since they’re repetitive physical movements (though those aren’t the only type of stim they are the one that applies the most to hinata).

the way he explains how volleyball works in his mind but it doesn’t make sense to anybody else (besides noya). idk how to explain this one, just thought i’d mention it. if anyone has anything to add for this one please let me know.

let me know what you think of this!! i’m open to discussion about this (i really really wanna talk to somebody about it), but please remember to be respectful even if you disagree with me. thanks for reading, i hope it made sense.

[scuttling]

(Not So) Casual Friday

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 4,456 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch (it's not a main component but he very much has the tummy here), Pining, Accidentally admitting attraction, Embarrassment, A little angst, Oral sex, Protected sex Summary: Your best friend Derek finds out about your feelings for Hotch and teases you mercilessly. You can manage it, though, until the first ever Casual Friday, when Hotch shows up to work in a black polo and jeans and you kind of ruin everything. Or maybe you don't? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Okay, girlie, today’s the day,” Derek says when you set your bag and coffee cup on your desk on Monday morning. You shoot your best friend a tired smile and wonder for the—you’ve worked at the BAU for almost two years, so it’s probably the 500th time—for the 500th time why he has to be such a morning person when you would prefer not to have a conversation until at least 10 AM.

“Today’s the day for what?” you sigh, asking out of obligation, because it’s obvious that’s what he’s waiting for; he smiles, picks up your coffee and hands it to you, which must mean you sound bitchy. You take a grateful sip, close your eyes and exhale through your nose.

“For you to admit to me that you’re in love with Hotch.”

You spit out your coffee—only all over yourself, which is great, wouldn’t want to inconvenience Derek at all—and then cough so hard he has to thump on your back to help clear your airway.

It draws some attention; Hotch comes out of his office, takes a look at the two of you and probably regrets hiring the both of you, then walks down the stairs to make sure you’re okay.

“What happened? You’re wet,” he says a bit gruffly, looking at the coffee all over your chest and sleeves. You glare over at Derek, who’s clearly trying not to laugh.

“Derek made me spill my coffee.” You grab a handful of tissues off your desk and pat at the wet spot, trying to soak up the worst of it, but it’s not salvageable. You’ll have to change your shirt.

“And then you… choked on it?” Hotch asks, to clarify. Derek does laugh at that; the things Hotch is saying happen to have dual meanings, slightly sexual, and now that Derek knows—thinks he knows—about your thing for Hotch, it’s clear he finds it all so hilarious. He’s a twelve year old boy in a grown man’s body.

“Okay, I didn’t spill, I spit,” you correct, looking up at them, and Derek makes an exaggerated face of disapproval.

“Should have swallowed,” he says, trying to sound serious, and you shoot him an irritated look and reach out to slap him in the chest. Asshole.

“Do you need help getting cleaned up?” Hotch’s expression is kind, sweet, but you’d sooner die than have him blot coffee off of your boobs. It would be mortifying, especially in front of Derek.

“No, no, I think I’m okay. Thanks,” you add with a soft smile, and then you reach up and pull your sweater over your head, unzip your go bag, and search for another top.

For some reason, Hotch has a coughing fit scarily similar to the one you just had, and you turn to pat his back like Derek did for you.

“Are you alright?” you ask, looking up into his face, and he nods despite his watering eyes.

“Fine,” he croaks, and he leaves as quickly as he came. You sigh, because it’s not even nine and your day has already been so weird.

You’re wearing a tank top, and thankfully the coffee didn’t get through to that layer, so it’s quick and easy to throw another lightweight sweater over top of it; you ball up the wet one, shove it in the dirty clothes portion of your bag, zip it up and stash it under your desk. Derek looks like he’s having the best day of his life.

“You realize you just undressed in front of Hotch,” he says with a tone you don’t appreciate. You roll your eyes.

“I did not. I had a tank top on underneath.” You almost always wear an undershirt, because you’ve been a cop long enough to know that sometimes your clothes get torn or messed up in the line of duty, and you’re not trying to offer a free show while taking down an unsub. Derek wiggles his eyebrows, points at your chest.

“Yeah, one that put those little boobies on display. His eyes bulged out of his head like a cartoon character.” This time, you punch him in the arm, hard. It’s too goddamn early for this.

“Can you please shut up already? I don’t have a thing for Hotch.”

“Ah, I didn’t say you had a thing, I said you’re in love with him. And I have evidence; lots of it.” You tip your head back, groan, wondering what you did to deserve a best friend who is also such a pain in the ass, and it’s that moment that Hotch chooses to rejoin you; he looks a little flushed, probably from the coughing earlier.

“Uh. We have a case; I know not everyone is here yet, but you can head up to the briefing room, I’ll grab the others when they arrive.”

“Sure thing, sir,” you say easily, grabbing your tablet and what’s left of your coffee; you gesture for Derek and he follows, laughing and shaking his head. “Okay, what is it now? I’m so glad you find me entertaining today.”

“‘Sure thing, sir,’” he says with a high, breathy voice you assume is supposed to mimic yours. “You want his dick so bad.” You narrow your eyes at him as you head upstairs.

“Uh, because I was being respectful? I know that’s a foreign concept for you, the world’s biggest asshole, but you don’t have to read anything into it.” You take your usual seats at the table, pull up the note-taking app on your tablet, and Derek sits back, crosses his arms behind his head.

“Well you’re not calling me ‘sir’, and I’m the sexiest piece in the office, so it’s hard not to read into it.” You look over at him, elbow on the table, chin in the palm of your hand.

“Sexy is subjective, and you don’t do it for me, sorry to break it to you.” He scoffs, laughs, and you laugh too because you both know you see each other as brother and sister, buddies, and fellow former cops, and absolutely nothing else.

“Yeah, I get it, only Hotch does it for you; he’s not my type, but I can see how a young lady like yourself could be drawn to his brooding exterior.”

“I’m not drawn to his exterior!” you practically growl, and then you’re joined by Spencer and JJ.

“Good morning. What’s going on with you two?” JJ asks, loading up the monitors for the debriefing, her eyebrows raised.

“She’s in love with Hotch,” Derek says completely nonchalantly, and you rest your head on the table, on top of your forearms, and sigh.

“She’s what?” JJ’s whole face lights up, and you seriously regret everything.

“I’m not in love with anybody!” you mumble against your arms, and then you sit up, because you’re clearly going to have to defend yourself. “And I’d appreciate it if you quit saying that I am.”

“I told you I have evidence,” Derek reminds you, leaning back in his chair a little. One swift kick would have him toppling ass over tea kettle, but you’re too nice, even when he’s actively trying to ruin your life. “Shall I go over it while we wait?”

“I’ll be an objective third party,” Spencer says with a brief smile, and you sigh, wave your hand toward Derek.

“Alright, let’s hear it. I’m sure I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for whatever evidence you might think you have.” He grins like this is the moment he’s been waiting for, and you feel a little stupid for encouraging this.

“For one, you always look at him. When I’m delivering a profile, I notice you watching the locals, making sure they understand what we’re going over, since you're the queen of analyzing the micro expressions. But when Hotch is delivering a profile, your eyes are on him the whole time. Same goes for discussing theories on the jet; anyone else, and you’ve got your face in your tablet, scribbling notes, but you always look at him when he speaks.”

Your cheeks get hot. He’s a captivating speaker, is all, with that deep, velvety voice, and you can learn a lot from him, so you pay attention. That’s just being smart.

“Second, you tense when he gets close to you: not like you don’t want him to touch you, but like you’re halfway to jumping him already and trying to control it. I could probably put my hand in your pocket and you wouldn't even flinch, but if he leans over you to point at something you look like you’re about to cream your pants.”

“I have seen that, actually,” JJ offers, and you look over at her, betrayed. Sure, you get a whiff of his clean, crisp cologne, or feel the heat of him at your back, and your body reacts, reminds you that this is your boss and you’re at work and you can’t get turned on by the way he smells, but that’s actually a good thing, not an indicator of feelings or anything.

“Third, there’s something up with you and the gray suits. I can literally tell that he’s wearing one before I even see him, all because of the look on your face. It’s like you’re drunk on the gray suit.”

“Okay, that’s not true,” you say with a roll of your eyes—the gray suits are god tier, but there’s no way you’re that obvious—but it’s Spencer who speaks up, this time.

“You know, I have noticed that. Your pupils tend to be more dilated when his suit is gray or blue than when it’s black.” Fuck. You sigh.

“He barely ever wears the blue. It looks so good on him,” you murmur, and then you snap your eyes shut, cover your face with your hands. “Fuck. This is so embarrassing.”

“To be fair, we are profilers,” Derek says, leaning in to pat your back. “But also to be fair, he’s been a profiler longer than any of us, so if we know, he definitely knows.”

“Not helping, Derek,” you grind out, and then you’re joined by the rest of the team. Penelope takes the seat next to you, leans in with a worried tone of voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“She’s having a small crisis, but she’ll be fine,” JJ says with a smile, and you don’t miss the way Hotch looks you over when she says it, concern in his eyes. “Alright, so we’re headed to Arkansas…”

Later that morning, when you’ve been given your instructions—yours are heading to the crime scene with Emily and Derek—Hotch pulls you out into the hall, rests a gentle hand on your arm.

“Are you alright? JJ mentioned you were having a crisis earlier. This is the first time I’ve been able to get you alone, and I wanted to check on you.” You take a deep breath, look up at him, so handsome in a black suit, white shirt, green tie—he almost never wears a green tie, and you absently think it brings out the more golden tones of his eyes—and smile softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s really nothing. Personal stuff, and I’m dealing with it.” If by ‘dealing with it’ you mean you’ve been repressing it, shoving it down day in and day out until your feelings are choking you, then yeah, you’re dealing with it. “Thanks for checking, though, that’s kind of you.”

“Of course. I’m here to help in any way I can, if you need me.” Good god, do you need him, emotionally, physically, but that’s fantasy, and this, what he’s offering, is rooted in reality. Good things do happen, but not to you.

“Thanks.” Your voice is weak to your own ears, and he swallows, nods; you see Derek hovering by the door, waiting for you, and you pull away to join him, plastering a smile on your face. You don’t talk about it again until Friday, and at that point it’s extremely unavoidable.

It’s Casual Friday, newly implemented by the bureau as a way to boost morale, and while it doesn’t really excite you, because you’re fairly casual anyway, others take full advantage of it. Others, including Hotch.

He shows up to work wearing a black polo and dark jeans, his usual watch. It’s easily the most simplistic, basic outfit a man could decide to wear on Casual Friday, but this isn’t just a man, it’s Aaron fucking Hotchner, and so naturally, you lose your damn mind.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the damn polo didn’t fit him perfectly, tight across his shoulders and chest and the little tummy he has that makes you want to be under him so badly, your stomachs pressed together while he thrusts inside you, holding you tightly, his strong thighs working against yours…

“Hello, are you alive in there?” Emily asks, waving her hand in front of your face; the two of you, along with Derek, are in Penelope’s office for lunch while Rossi, Reid, and JJ are out of the office for a seminar. You blink, shake away your thoughts and hope and pray they don’t come back—but they’ll come back, they always do.

“She’s just short circuiting because of Hotch’s Casual Friday look,” Morgan says with a wink, sitting backward in his seat. “She’s been drooling so much I’ve had to follow her around with a mop to clean up after her.” You push your wheeled chair away from them with a groan, needing space and air and, potentially, a brain transplant. You’ve gotten nothing done all day long.

“Can you blame me? The man comes in here everyday, buttoned up tight, looking incredible in a suit and tie, and then he shows up in that black polo, all snug and hot and delicious, and you expect me not to freak out? You guys are lucky I didn’t pass out.” You’re met with silence, and you blink, confused, at your friends, but they’re all just kind of staring with looks of barely concealed humor. “What? It’s not like it’s a secret that I want to climb him like a tree.”

“Pretty sure it was a secret to him,” Penelope says, looking shocked, and you whip around in your chair to see Hotch standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and a little flushed.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I, uh—” He raises a hand, waves you off.

“It’s okay. No harm done; thank you, for the, uh. Compliment.” He steps forward, hands a manila folder to Penelope. “Thanks for taking care of these,” he says softly, and then, unsurprisingly, he gets the hell out of there. You wish you could disappear off the face of the Earth.

“Fuck, holy fuck,” you mutter when he’s gone, leaning forward with your head in your hands. “That’s it, I’m quitting. It’s been nice knowing you guys.”

“Okay, don’t be dramatic,” Derek says, and you look up to glare at him; he’s the one that started all this in the first place. You were fine, feelings tamped down and suppressed, until he brought it up and then told everyone you know.

“Don’t tell me not to be dramatic, Derek! This is all your fault. You never respect my boundaries, you never know when to just let me be, you always have to pick and pick until you wear me down. Maybe I had a reason for wanting to keep my feelings private, did you ever think of that?”

“I know you're upset,” Emily begins softly, because there’s some pretty thick tension between you and Derek now, but you stand up, push your chair across the room, and shake your head.

“I’m not upset, I’m fucking humiliated. I’m going home; let him know I’m sick, will you?” You exhale deeply, storm upstairs and grab your stuff and drive home with tears in your eyes. You’ve never been so embarrassed in your life, and add that to the absolute heartbreak you’re feeling? You’re just happy you make it to your apartment, so you can break down with cheesecake and a sappy, romantic comedy with a happy ending: those perfect, fictional worlds are pretty much the only place one is guaranteed. You are, as planned, hunkered down on the sofa in your softest pajamas, watching You’ve Got Mail and eating the center out of an entire cheesecake with a spoon when there’s a knock at your door. You groan, pick up your cheesecake tin, and walk over to it, fully expecting it to be Derek come to beg for forgiveness for ruining your life, so it’s no surprise you drop your dessert on the floor when it’s actually Hotch on the other side.

He looks down at the tin, then up at your face, cracks the barest hint of a smile.

“I thought you were sick; I brought soup,” he says, holding up a paper bag, and your heart thumps in your chest. You wipe a hand over your face, because you haven’t been exactly neat in your heartache cheesecake consumption, and then you kick the tin across the floor and invite him in, closing the door behind him.

“I thought it was obvious that I wasn’t actually sick, just… really embarrassed,” you say when he turns back to look at you. “I can’t believe you heard all that stuff I said… I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable.” You take the bag from his hand and invite him to follow you into the kitchen, where you set it on the counter, lean against it. He comes close, but not so close you can’t function, which is good; your comfy pajamas are shorts and a loose tank top, so you feel a little exposed already.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” he says softly, and you frown, must have heard him wrong. He presses his fingertips against the counter, as if for support. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was… unexpected,” he explains, “very unexpected, but I’m not uncomfortable.”

You flush hot, and you can feel the bad decision part of your brain switching on, warning bells ringing in your head.

Whatever you do next has the potential to be extremely stupid, and you would like to avoid that at all costs; you love your job, after all, despite how physically and emotionally exhausting it can be, and you love your team. Time to think with your upstairs brain only.

“That makes me feel a little better,” you say truthfully, and despite the pep talk you just gave yourself, you move closer to him like there’s an invisible magnetic force between you; you would imagine a guy like Hotch would step back, keep his distance, but he only cranes his neck a little so he can look down at you more easily.

God, he’s tall. And he smells good, and his face is perfect, and that goddamn polo...

“Good, I’m glad. I don’t want you to feel bad about this. I’m not uncomfortable, it’s not… it’s not unwanted.” You swallow audibly, looking up at him, wondering if he knows what he’s saying, what it sounds like.

“It’s not?” you ask, and it comes out breathy; he takes a small step closer to you, brushes his fingers over your arm, peers into your eyes.

“No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking of you, too; I know you know you’re beautiful, but you’re also so smart, and strong-willed, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m proud to have you on my team, and I’d be proud… to have you climb me like a tree.” He smiles again, just the barest hint of one, and you put your arms around him and pull him closer for a kiss.

One long, slow, perfect kiss turns into another, then another, and he presses your back against the counter, his hands on your face and your hands on his thick waist; you hum into the kiss, revel in the feel of his lips on yours, his tongue sweeping past them, and when you pull back for air it feels like there’s only one question that needs to be asked.

“Bedroom?” you breathe, and he nods, and you take his hand and pull him in that direction, pausing to kiss him several times before you get there. “You don’t happen to have a condom, do you?” you ask, breathless, guiding him to the bed, and he frowns, shakes his head.

“I didn’t want to seem presumptuous.” You grin at that, lean forward and kiss him, your fingers in his hair.

“I find it so hot that you even say presumptuous. I might have one here somewhere.” You open your nightstand, move around books and toys until you find a couple; you flip them over, checking to see if they’re expired, and offer him a couple options. “They’re still good, surprisingly. You can, uh. Choose the one that would work best.”

He looks them over, picks one and hands back the rest, and you throw them back in the drawer and slide into his lap, wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he says, holding your waist as you look down at him, completely in awe that this is happening. “But I want to clarify: if you’re looking for something casual, I don’t think we should go any further.” You inhale softly, surprised by his straightforwardness, and you lean in, kiss him slowly.

“I don’t want casual. I want to be with you.” His eyes are so brilliant, dark in the dim light of your bedroom, and he nods, presses his lips to yours and slides his hands beneath your top, guides it over your head. Then they move to your shorts, slipping them gently off your hips, and you stand so he can push them to the ground.

You’re both breathing heavily, a little rough, and you step between his legs, kiss him again, run your hands down his chest, closing your eyes with a sigh because you finally get to feel him after a year of just imagining what it would be like. After a beat, you open your eyes, look into his, smile.

“Really grateful for Casual Friday,” you whisper. “Otherwise you might never have found out I’m kind of in love with you.” You ease the polo over his head, drop it on the ground and encourage him to stand so you can take off his pants; he does, but before you can drop to your knees as planned, he takes your face in his hands, presses one soft kiss against your mouth.

“I’m more than kind of in love with you.” Oh, if that isn’t the greatest sentence your ears have ever heard… You wrap your arms around his neck, kiss a little more, forgetting that you planned to finish undressing him; when you remember, you make quick work of it, then have him lay back against the bed and settle between his legs.

You put your mouth on him because you want to, more than anything, and his hand drops to your hair, caressing you while you suck slowly, deeply, holding him with one hand and pressing against his stomach with the other. His moans are soft and gorgeous, his body tense beneath your hand, and you’d do this all night, but he murmurs your name, coaxes you up, puts his hands on your back as you settle against him.

“You’re so incredible. I never would have imagined I’d get this, get you,” he breathes, skimming his hands over your sides and hips, and you kiss softly, steamy and sweet.

“Me neither.” You lean up, make space for him to roll on the condom, and then press him inside; your breath hitches, and so does his, and you lay on top of him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, arms around each other tightly while you move. “Hmm. Aaron,” you sigh, hair falling around him, and he groans, digs his fingertips into your hips.

“Sounds so perfect coming out of your mouth.” You smile, but it slips away when he surges up to kiss you, leans up so he’s sitting with you in his lap. He slides a broad hand up your back, wraps it around the nape of your neck, and pumps his hips up as you sink down, eliciting a series of soft, eager moans from the both of you.

“Feels like I’ve waited so long; I’ve never wanted someone as badly as I wanted you,” you tell him, chest heaving, and he brings you to him for a kiss, something a little rougher, less refined. He’s getting close.

“Never. You make me feel so much.” You reach back against his leg for support, work harder to bring him off, and when he comes he crushes his mouth against yours, delicious and more uncontrolled than you’ve ever seen him. He chants your name, so soft and sweet rolling off of his tongue, and then gets you on your back so he can press deeply inside.

You feel so incredibly full, panting beneath him, your hands on his waist and your feet on the backs of his thighs; his perfect face is inches from yours, all shallow breaths and decadent, passionate kisses, and when you climax you pull him closer, sigh, unravel completely in his embrace.

Maybe good things do happen after all. You hold each other and talk for a while, after a quick pitstop to the restroom, and then your stomach growls—understandably, since the only thing to fill it since lunch was that stupid cheesecake—and Hotch orders takeout on his phone from bed; god bless technology.

There’s a knock at the door twenty minutes later, and you know that’s quick for your favorite Thai place, but you’re not complaining because you’re officially starving. He offers to grab it, throws on his boxers and heads for the living room; after a few minutes, you wonder what’s taking so long, pull on your robe and go to check on him.

Hotch is talking to Derek, who is standing in your living room with a piece of cheesecake and a shit eating grin.

“I came with a peace offering, but now I think I’ll wait for a, ‘Thank you, Derek,’” he says, and you roll your eyes, stalk over and take the cheesecake out of his hands. You give it to Hotch, lean up to kiss Derek on the cheek, and push him toward the door.

“Thank you, Derek. Go away, Derek,” you say with a smile of your own, and he raises his palms and retreats down the hall, laughing as he goes.

This is just one more thing he’ll tease you mercilessly about, but this time the benefits outweigh the costs. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner

[elriell]

Some jumbled up thoughts about Elain, Lucien and Azriel + Mating Bonds

There have been a lot of conversations regarding this topic and I thought I’d flesh it out a bit myself, but these are facts/observations that as a fandom many have noticed, discussed, analysed. I just wanted to dive in myself fully.

I want to talk about each of them individually as well as, as a whole. Their emotions and mindsets, as someone who loves all three characters and wishes for all of them to get a happy ending. I will preface this with saying I will be discussing why it is very likely Elain will reject the bond and such things, so along the lines of Anti-Elucien. If you are a fan of them, thats cool, just skip this one if you happen upon it. 

We are going to dive in to the following;

Lucien & Elain  (their choices)

Lucien & Azriel  (contrast)

Rejecting the Bond

New Bonds

Fate & THE POV 

and why the writing is basically telling us everything we need to know...

Lucien 

Lucien is noble male, he has a good heart and has suffered his plenty, and this is why people want what is best for him, to be the happiest he can... Unfortunately I think that in this case Elain is not it. 

He is right to feel that way, just as Elain has a right to feel as she does. I think it is incredibly interesting that when we finally see from his POV we see that in a way he feels as though this has been thrust on them. 

That with his last love he had a choice and so did she.

It reminds me very much of this line about Rhysand’s parents, who were an example of an unhappy mating bond.

We will deep dive in to wrong matches further down, but the fact is that mated couples are not always indicators of true paired souls, that they very well could be the couple that do not end up happy together.

I speak on Elain and her agency a lot because I feel like a large portion of the fandom like to discard it as if it means nothing, and even judge her for it but if we actually take a look at Lucien’s behaviour he is not all that more happy.

There are some key differences between them though, Lucien as a male feels their bond to a different degree than she does, and he also has been raised to believe and respect the bond. And thus he feels a certain obligation to honour it in the best way he can. 

This doesn’t mean he thinks she is right for him, any further than his attraction to her (which like same dude same), he hasn’t displayed any signs that they actually aline as a couple. And I feel like SJM clearly highlights this when she sets examples of his gifts not being... well right for her. 

The gloves we know she never wears show us how little they know each other as she loves to get dirty [which Feyre had told him] and the pearl necklace is then contrasted by Azriels which was very personalised to Elain. 

(The rose, the secret beauty of it hitting the light etc...)

These are all deliberate moves by Sarah to showcase their misaligned bond.

And during Elain’s section I will also be pointing out some Lucien moments that really don’t read well for him. I genuinely believe he is much happier amongst the Band of Exhiles than he is when he is seen with The Inner Circus.

Elain

Here is the thing, this situation isn’t any easier on him that’s true but people need to respect Elains feelings, and the fact is she does not like him. Not only does she not like him but she shrinks in on herself, she looses all the progress and confidence she has made since the Cauldron. That is not a good sign of anything healthy.

If this is suppose to be a romance we root for why is she doing everything in her power to make it seem the opposite? If she genuinely was playing the long game she would have at least started to make them comfortable around each other, goodness they don’t even have to talk, but she does the opposite.

She emphasises that he brings out the bad in her. Again, no bueno. She quite simply does not want to be around him and with SJM’s writing I think this is highly deliberate on her part. 

[And let’s be clear there are countless quotes from the other books that do NOT reflect well on their relationship but I am trying to stick to ACOSF, as it is her most recent work, otherwise I would be here all day.] 

Rejecting the Bond

We have almost a two page discussion on why mating bonds are not an exact science, and that they can be more harmful than good. We are given two examples of it, with both Rhys’ and Tamlin’s parents. And then we get a very subtle hit at Azriel. This is all in the book Sarah said she began planting the seeds for the sisters journeys.

We also know from this there is a choice. But that many force it, because they feel it it right, (much like Lucien is probably doing right now, because he feels a duty and hope that it will work out.)  

Then we have the fact thrown at us that a lot of males believe that their mate belongs to them and will challenge the other male, which we now have a call back to with Rhys’ mentioning “The Blood Duel”. 

There is literally not one reason Sarah would put this in TWICE only for it never to happen or come close too happening. How anyone can question at this point that Elriel will happen is confusing to me, she has laid all the groundwork for it.

Now I don’t believe for a second that Lucien wouldn’t respect her choice, I think it will most certainly come down to Beron forcing his hand to wage the war we know he wants.

I think despite what Rhys said in Azriel’s POV under immense stress, TNC will protect Elain and ultimately stand by her decision. 

Not only does ACOSF spend a great deal of time creating a further divide between Elain & Lucien it also add a shockingly large quantity of easter eggs about “Elain choosing bonds” “Other Mate” “What if it chose wrong?” and again in this book like in ACOMAF we bring back up a failed mated pair to remind you of it’s existence.

All possible signs lean towards them breaking the bond.

And frankly from a storytelling perspective having three perfect bonds that are basically the same overarching love story (enemies to lovers) is boring, she would want to shake it up and throw a little curveball.

Lucien + Azriel  &  Why I think Azriel will have a bond with Elain.

“If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate” And low and behold it is Azriel who figures out what was going on with her. Not to mention in the reveal SJM further displays that Lucien has no clue what was going on with her.

I don’t know what bridge holds their bond but I wouldn’t trust crossing it personally... :/

Further still, Lucien cannot hear her heart. Their bond is definitely not strong but you could also argue that is not an element of the bond at all but rather of her abilities perhaps. Since we know she could hear the sea too though it was nowhere close by.

But Azriel did hear her, he did pay attention and he figured out what was amiss. 

It is interesting to me that people took such issue with this when I believe very few have issues with Rhys or Cassian fighting for their respective partners. Now I have gone in to it in depth about how I think that this was pure emotion and illogical on Azriel’s part, and I don’t believe he would kill Lucien so carelessly.

I think it speaks to the same blind emotion a lot of them have displayed for their mates, Lucien may have wanted to see if she was worth it but Azriel knows she is worth the fight.

And for all intensive purposes in that moment he was willing to fight for someone he believes shares his feelings.

Now let’s tackle the whole “Possessive” crap.

First of all, all of the male pairings in this series have shown moments like this, so if it is bothering you here why isn’t it bothering you at other points?

Lucien has been just as instinctively possessive from their bond, and let me clarify, I am not shaming him for that anymore than anyone else. What I am pointing out is the double standard, if anything Azriel has more reason to feel like he can fight for her because she has actually shown him care, interest and attraction. 

They have actually bonded a lot more than she has with Lucien thus far.

And if they truly do have an upcoming bond then judging him on three paragraphs when we don’t know what the heck is going on is just ridiculous.

On the same note of that scene, let’s talk about “deserve”

First of all he never said he deserved her, Rhys implied that is what he was gleaning from the conversation and that it is just lust, which we know is not the case. Clearly Rhys perception is not accurate at all so to take his statement at face value and call it fact is a bit disingenuous.

Azriel wasn’t claiming he deserves her, did you read his POV at all?? He didn’t even feel like his hands should touch her let alone deserve her. Please go back and read that chapter again if you can’t see that.

Not to mention I think that the idea of FATE, and believing in hope even when the odds are stacked against you (AKA her having a mate) is actually very consistent with SJM storytelling and Az. Remember this;

The fact that he is hopeful despite the despair of his situation is exactly what people have valued about him. Not to mention after Rhys says this to Azriel he says to them;

So Rhys too believes they were brought in his family for a reason, some sort of fate.

Amren too thinks they are blessed by fate. Why is it so shocking and offensive that Azriel have a little hope that there is a reason they came in to their lives? Because he isn’t with your fav?

Let’s be honest he didn’t exactly get over Mor in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and then even ACOFAS there are slight moments, thats over a long period. Three sisters didn’t just arrive and he went TAG “I want one.”

No, he genuinely grew to care for Elain, and let go of his past, and in watching Elain not find any connection with her mate he saw it as a sign that the Cauldron was wrong, which we know it can be. 

I don’t know if people are selective readers but if you think that he doesn’t care for her as a person beyond being a “sister” I don’t know what to tell you, we are not reading the same books.

ANYWAYS back on topic.

I think Sarah has laid a lot of groundwork for her breaking the bond and perhaps choosing a new one. I know not everyone is keen on another bond as they feel her free will and choice is enough, that’s fair and I agree to a point. 

I just wanted to analyse the data at hand, and I do believe after ACOSF (I never thought it prior really) that they are mates in some capacity, whether that is because of the Cauldron or something that will occur... I think she has laid enough groundwork for them being Soulmates at the least. Hence why I love the idea of a Carranam bond.

There are so many parallels between Rhys, Cassian & Az that could be taken as little signs but honestly this is long enough I am sure you all want to kill me already for making you read all that hahaha 

One last little morsel, it very well might be nothing but Az shouting after they take Elain is an interesting choice, it’s ambiguous enough that you can take it to mean the pain but it could also be another little crumb.

Basically with all said and done I think she will give Elain her agency back and break it.

And potentially something will occur with Azriel as a result but thats certainly more grey than the rest of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

Obviously, to each their own opinion, have fun and ship whatever you want these are just my thoughts on the text at hand!

(Also I am sorry I got like 20+ messages to get to in my inbox, yeah I kinda ignored everyone and worked on this today, sorry!!! I’ll be back tomorrow)

[velvetcloxds]

CURVES| D.H.

Pairing: Derek x fem!Reader

Word count: 1885 words

Warning: discussing body image, negative opinion of body, body comparison

Summary: Reader and Derek have been friends for years. Derek finds her in her kitchen worrying over having to go swimming with Lydia and reader explains her struggle with her body image.

“I don’t know.” I say, holding my books tighter against my chest as I follow Lydia to the bleachers. She frowns.

“Please,” She begs, grabbing my arms and pulling me to a stop. “It’s been forever since we did anything together, just the girls,” She explains and looks back to where Jackson and the other lacrosse players are walking out of the school building. “I need a night without lacrosse talk.” She says and I smile lightly at her little eyes roll, but frown again when she looks back at me for a reply.

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” I ask and she nods with a satisfied smile and I sigh loudly. “Can I convince you to do anything else?” She shakes her head quickly.

“Shopping and sunbathing, Y/n. It’s all we need, “ She says, linking our arms as we start walking again. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning and we’ll go get some new bikini’s before going to the lake house,” She informs me and nods at Jackson who is waving her over to the bench. “Duty calls. Stop pouting it’s going to be fun.” She tells me and boops my nose before scurrying away towards Jackson and I shake my head with a smile as I watch her leave. I stay still for a while, making sure she reaches him without being hassled by anyone and then turn to leave, already dreading the weekend ahead, even though it’s quite literally just begun.

I fall into step quite quickly, only pausing to put my books into my bag before walking home. My parents are working late again, so I have the house for myself for a couple of hours, but if history has taught me anything, it’s that Derek Hale tends to show up unplanned and unfed, whenever he wants. Not that I mind, it’s always been like that and only more so since the fire.

I lock the door behind me, throwing my bag onto the couch and heading to the kitchen. I shake my head when I see Derek’s car parked in the backyard, just like I thought it would be and grab the pizza bites out of the freezer. The stairs creek behind me as the microwave starts doing its thing and I throw the empty box away.

“How did you get in here?” I ask, turning around just as he takes a seat at the table. “The door was locked.” I add with an amused smile as he stares up at me.

“But your window wasn’t.” He says and smirks happily. I shake my head as I slip onto the counter.

“Derek, my bedroom is a mess.” I say, only now remembering that I was too lazy to clean it up before going to school. Derek nods his head quickly, brows raised for effect.

“Hell yeah, it is,” He says and shrugs. “Don’t freak out, you know I don’t mind,” He adds sweetly and I smile over at him before focusing my attention on my folded legs, fiddling with my fingers as the sound of the microwave fills the room. I hear him sigh softly, moving in his chair. “What’s up?” He asks and I shrug.

“Nothing.” I reply too quickly and he scoffs.

“Bullshit,” I look up at him surprised. “I can literally smell that you’re not okay,” He informs me and I raise my brow at him in confusion. He rolls his eyes. “Chemo signals, Y/n. Now tell me what’s going on?” I think it over for a moment before shaking my head with a sigh.

“You wouldn’t understand.” I say and the alarm from the microwave pings to tell me it’s done and I use that as a momentary distraction, jumping down and getting it, placing it down in front of him.

“On account of the fact that I’m not of the feminine variety or no longer of the teenage variety?” He asks, lightly grabbing my wrist to stop me from leaving. I shrug again and he nods. “Ahh, both.” He uses his foot to push back a chair and then smiles as I rip my arm away from him. “Sit. And talk.” He orders and I roll my eyes as I take a seat next to him, watching as he grabs a pizza bite from the plate.

“You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“Most things are,” He shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you anyway.” I let out a loud breath, reaching for a pizza bite, but pulling my hand back slowly, he watches the gesture carefully, raising a brow at me.

“You know Lydia, right?” I ask and he thinks it over before nodding, chewing slowly as he waits for more information. “Would you say that she is, I don’t know, good looking?” I ask and he leans back in his chair with a shrug.

“I guess.”

“Exactly,” I almost shout and he flinches, furrowing his brows as I settle back down in my chair. “Exactly.” I repeat, calmer this time. “She’s very pretty and her hair is silky and she’s in perfect shape, like the perfect possible shape. One could go as far as to say that she’s like the perfect example of what we’re expected to look like.”

“We, being all girls?” He asks and I nod, leaning onto the table with my elbows.

“Yes.” I look down at the table. “Except that not everyone does look like that, perfect,” I say and frown. “Some of us aren’t as one would say, skinny.” I clarify and look up to find him smiling lightly, leaning onto the table as well, he looks me over slowly.

“I really hope this isn’t you hating on yourself right now, because you’re literally ridiculously beautiful and I’d be damned if you’ve somehow convinced yourself otherwise.” He says in an effortlessly smooth tone that would usually prompt me to blush, but I roll my eyes instead.

“Okay, you saying that doesn’t count.” I say, taking a pizza bite and munching on it. He scoffs.

“Why not?” I laugh softly.

“You’re like family, Derek. There’s some sort of inclined niceness that goes with it, you have to say shit like that. It’s like a mom telling you that your dress is nice or my brother telling me my hair doesn’t look horrible. It doesn’t count.” He raises a brow, sitting back quickly, his face disgusted as he looks at me.

“Okay, first of all, I’m not like a brother and please don’t put me in a position to act as such because then the way I look at you would be rather questionable,” He says, looking over at me seriously to make sure I get what he means, and I bite my lip to hide a smile forming. “And secondly…” He looks me over again, eyes darker as he smiles at me. “When I called you beautiful, I was also implying how crazy hot you are, which doesn’t sound like a compliment, but bloody hell you’re in no position to think you’re ugly.” He ends and despite myself, I feel my cheeks warming up. I swallow slowly as I look back to the table, not sure what to say until his hand numbly takes hold of mine on the table. “Not everyone looks the same, doesn’t mean that you’re ugly by default, it just means you have a different form of beauty.” He tells me, tone softer this time.

“You really think that?” I ask, fingers folding around his own around his own. He smiles.

“Of course, I do.” He says and tilts his head to get my attention. “Do you know me to say something just because I know that it’s what you want to hear?” I laugh lightly as I shake my head and his smile grows as a result. “Exactly. Now, don’t let me ever hear you talking down on yourself again, you’re much more than just your body. Doesn’t matter what size or shape you’re in, I’ll always think you’re pretty bloody brilliant. “

“Thank you,” I reply softly and gently pull my hand away from his when I realize that I haven’t let go yet. “You want something to drink?” I ask, standing up from the chair awkwardly, he laughs lightly while he nods and I pretend not to notice as I walk over to the fridge. It’s silent for a second and the plate scuffs against the table as he eats another few pizza bites.

“I mean it, you know,” He says, confusing me as I place our glasses down on the table. “You might be my default family, but I do not see you as my sister,” He clarifies and I clearly am not doing a good job of hiding my shock or the fact that I obviously don’t see him as a brother either. He laughs. “You really think that I come here everyday for the pizza bites?” He asks and I shrug.

“We do buy the good brand.” I say, mockingly and he rolls his eyes, far from serious or annoyed.

“You do. But I come here for you,” He announces like it’s nothing and my heart does a full-on backflip because holy shit, this man can’t possibly be serious. He smiles. “I heard that.” He says and looks at my chest when the embarrassment makes my heart beat even faster, he smiles likes he’s achieved something great and then gets up from his chair, picking up the empty plate as he does. I frown.

“Wait does this mean that…”

“Oh, I’ve been very much aware of our shared attraction for quite some time,” He says and my mouth all but falls open as I stare at him, a look he completely ignores while he puts the plate in the sink. “Speaking of, are you free tomorrow?” He asks me casually and I shake my head because clearly words will fail me. He nods. “Next weekend then, you can wear that red dress you hide in the back of your closet, the one that shows your curves,” He smiles when I stare at him blankly. “I really do love your curves, Y/n.” He informs me as he starts heading to the door, making me stand up as well.

“Where are you going?”

“Your mom is on her way home,” He informs me and shrugs. “And truth be told, I think I might send you into shock if I stay any longer.” He explains and once again steals a glance at my chest where even I can hear my heart nearly exploding.

“You didn’t drink your juice.” I say and he folds his arms in front of him, smirking with a raised brow.

“I think you need it more than I do. Cool down and all that.” He says and I gasp.

“Derek Hale,” I say, walking towards him. “I did not peg you as the type of guy who just shamelessly flirts with his best friend.” I say, stilling in front of him. He smiles.

“I think there’s a lot of things you might not know about me, Y/n.” He says and looks over at the door when my mom pulls into the driveway. He leans forward slightly, kissing the top of my head sweetly, completely contrasting his words before pulling away. “I think this is going to be fun.”

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubert. Mxx.

Masterlist

[newswcanonprompts]

Anakin is sent to negotiate with Gardulla the Hutt bc of the success of the Jabba mission (no one in the Council knows Gardulla used to own him)

editor’s note: there is actually a fic that came from this, by the lovely @primeemeraldheiress! here is the link

this one is SUPER angsty, sorry in advance, i missed the original conversation about this prompt and when i got back online everyone was yelling about it, when i read what they did i was in *shock*. like ow. anyways have fun

After being so helpful in rescuing Jabba the Hutt's son, Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up being sent on a mission to help Gardulla the Hutt because Anakin hasn't told anyone about his history with her

Possible reactions from Gardulla:

"Skywalker? I owned a human like that, her brat always caused trouble. Good riddance!"

What if she decides that since he's back in her territory that means he belongs to her again

.....gardulla hears him try to call obi-wan master and tries to buy anakin from him (Gardulla asking if obi-wan is anakin's master and anakin being in such a messed up mental space that he says yes, trusting that Obi-wan won’t let her buy him)

Obi-Wan wondering why Anakin is being so specifically arsey with this Hutt. "Force you're worse with her than you were with Jabba."

"Oh yeah, she bought me and my mother. I think I have a reason to dislike her."

The council meeting afterwards where obi-wan rails on the council...

Obi-Wan suddenly getting a horrible feeling whenever Anakin calls him master because he's known the contexts were different but now it is real and in his face

Like it's a different thing for Obi-Wan to know his padawan used to be a slave compared to looking his padawan's former master in the eye and seeing her current slaves.

Anakin manages to control himself in the throne room but the whole way there and back he can't help worrying that one of the really old lash scars that curls around his shoulder will be noticed, that his identity as a former slave will be exposed

anakin not being able to call obi-wan master on tatooine like. point blank. he starts addressing him as master and just. flinches.

anakin usually wears his heart on his sleeves right?? always shows his emotions, feelings, all that. Well, the closer they get to gardulla's palace the blanker his face gets

Ahsoka calls Anakin master and Anakin just grits out a "Please don't call me that, not here."

Obi-Wan suddenly realising why Anakin comes across as arrogant as times. He's spent his entire life trying to up his value because there's safety in value.

Anakin telling them not to use the name "Skywalker" while they're in the palace

Anakin's accent shifts so entirely to the point where it almost sounds like Obi-Wan's because he's so determined to not slip into old roles

Anakin having to be physically held back from getting into a physical fight. Not even using his lightsaber, he just wants to fight

Or, alternatively, all the fight just going out of Anakin because he knows, here, it'll just make everything worse. So he's almost.... compliant and it freaks everyone out

Ex. from @youngcreativenerdgoddess: Obi-Wan is terrified. His former padawan is the most resigned he’s ever been. He looks so....defeated. A look one would never expect on the vaunted “Hero with no fear”. All the fight was gone from him, and that scared him more than anything else in this force-damned war had.

Obi-Wan actually being the one about to lose his temper and then Anakin just puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him there's no point.

Consider: instead of anakin being angry he was sent on the mission, being resigned because of course he was, he knew Gardulla bes

Anakin comes across as an almost perfect Jedi for once in his life and in the context it is horrifying

Anakin’s report to the council is so matter of fact because he thought they knowingly sent him on the mission because of his past experience with Gardulla

Obi-Wan finds Anakin writing what he thinks is a CV then he sees the numbers next to it and it is his estimated value--"for the gardulla mission, if she finds out who I am she'll try to rebuy me"

After the mission, from @jasontoddiefor: "Failed you, we have," Yoda said, his voice full of grief, and Obi-Wan watched in horror as Anakin only titled his head, for once looking his age and not the years the war has aged him. 

"What do you mean?" Anakin asked, not understanding.

Examples of bits and pieces from this prompt:

Ex. from jasontodiefor: Anakin in the corner of her palace having a breakdown because he remembers memories he had thought gone, his mother's shouting and the tearful begging and the pain, pain, pain and he hadn't meant to break the vase, it had been an accident, please stop it hurts, Mom-

jasontodiefor: "A game of chance." 

"What?" 

Anakin doesn't look up from his hands, doesn't meet Obi-Wan's eyes. He hadn't since they'd arrived here. "I'd still be here like them if not for a game of chance. I'd be worth more than just a few credits too. Force-sensitive, young, good with mechanics, pretty-"

Ex. from Ro: Obi-Wan has never seen Anakin this silent before. There were nights before, when they were both younger, Obi-Wan himself still trying to heal from Qui-Gon's death and Anakin trying to get used to the temple. And Anakin would get quiet, but he was never this stone cold silent. Never this blank. He's so emotional, Obi-Wan's former padawan (his child), so open with his heart on his sleeve. There is none of that here, none of that bright boy. Anakin doesn't fight it, and that is the thing that worries Obi-Wan the most, because when Anakin doesn't like something he fights, he lashes out with teeth and sticks his heels in. But in this, he is resigned. (Anakin doesn't let Ashoka off the ship. She fights and argues but Anakin doesn't move, doesn't joke. He stands firm with it and Obi-Wan watches.

"Master, I—" 

Anakin flinches, "You're staying on the ship, Ahsoka, that's final." She huffs and leaves, and the only thing Obi-Wan can see is how relieved Anakin looks. There is something wrong here, but Anakin has never liked talking about Tatooine, and Obi-Wan has never pushed.) Obi-Wan has never hated a mission more.

Another ex from jasontodiefor: "But-" 

"You're young," Anakin interrupts her sharply. Ahsoka hates it when he cuts her off. It doesn't happen too often, mostly on the battlefield when he's barking orders at everyone. If anything, he lets her speak out of tune more often than he should or other Masters would, but right now his voice doesn't leave any room for agreement. "Young, underage actually, and female, that's the first 10K. Extra five if they don't sell you as inexperienced, and only stupid slavers would do that, but as a virgin."

Ahsoka pales. Anakin's voice is harsh, but there is an almost easy flow to his words, as if he had recited them in his head over and over again. "Force sensitive, that's next. Another 8K regularly, but you're a Jedi, so that's 20K. A Padawan, mind you, but you're a known face next to mine and Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan would fetch 40 for his status as a Jedi and councilor alone. And you're a Togruta, you sell better than a human girl. I'd add another 6 for that."

You sell better. Not you would, there's nothing hypothetical about this, Ahsoka realizes. Anakin's narrowing down what would happen to her if somebody just managed to grab her lightsabers, to put a collar around her throat and cut her off from all that she had ever known. "Now, that's just your base value," Anakin continues. "You're also a pretty good mechanic and pilot, though the latter makes your flight risk much higher. Given how dangerous you are, let's say 10K. You're a strong fighter, so you could probably get another 8K in the arena, perhaps a little more depending on what planet you're sold on. Your political value also can't be overlooked. You fight at the front and know much more about the war effort as a whole and that's worth much more, probably another 15." Anakin holds up his fingers like he's counting apples and now how much people would be willing to brand her as theirs. "So we're roughly at 70. That's not bad at all. Not as much as Obi-Wan or I would get, but it's more than enough. You're not coming on this mission. End of discussion."

[fanfics4all]

Arranged Marriage

Request: Yes / No 

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Parkinson!Reader 

Word count: 2320

Warnings: Nothing I think?

Y/N: Your Name 

A/N: Possibly making this into a short series.  Bingo card made by @slyttherins

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I had a free period and like most I spent it in the Great Hall reading a book. My slightly older sister was sitting with her friends at the other end of the table. They all hated me since I was the complete opposite of Pansy. She was mean, loud, had to be the center of attention, dramatic, and wasn’t incredibly bright. Despite all that I still loved her, even if I was one of her victims. The two of us only shared one thing, our crush on Draco Malfoy. Although she never knew about that and I would never tell her. 

I was enjoying my book when a letter landed in front of me. I closed my book and glanced at it confused. My family’s owl sat on the table in front of me. I picked up the letter with my family’s crest stamped in emerald green wax and opened it. 

‘Y/N,

Your Mother and I decided to arrange a marriage for you. We are concerned that if you make a decision like this on your own, you will make the wrong decision. It is no secret that we are disappointed in your association choices. Because of that, you are going to marry Draco Malfoy. Next time you return home, you will be engaged. Once you both graduate you will be married and produce heirs for both our households. This is to ensure the blood-line. 

~Philip’

I stared at the letter with wide eyes. I glanced over at Draco, who was reading a letter of his own. I turned my attention back to my book and decided to ignore the letter until I returned home. 

“What’s in the letter Drakie?” Pansy asked and I rolled my eyes at her horrid nickname for him. 

“Nothing, just Father informing me of a dinner party we’ll be having next time I return home.” He answered her. I was surprised he didn’t tell her, or maybe his family didn’t tell him his fate yet… 

Later that night, after all classes and dinner had been finished, I was sitting in the corner of the common room working on homework. It was really just me in here, besides a few first years. However, when the door opened and Draco walked in everyone’s eyes were on him. 

“Everyone out.” He said and all the first years scurried off to who knows where. I simply stayed in my place, ignoring his command. 

“Parkinson.” He said and I glanced up to find him standing in front of me now. 

“Can I help you?” I asked. 

“I’m sure you got a letter telling you about our situations as well.” He said and I simply nodded. So he did just choose not to tell my sister. Interesting… 

“You better not tell anyone about this.” He said and I looked back down at my homework. 

“I wasn’t planning on it.” I said, simply. 

“Because if you do- wait, what?” He asked, cutting himself off. 

“I said I wasn’t planning on it. My Father didn’t tell my sister for a reason and honestly I’d rather her not know until it’s too late. I don’t need her bullying to get any worse, or yours for that matter. So, we can just pretend it isn’t happening until the dinner, then we’ll figure it out from there. I wouldn’t want to stain your reputation you’ve worked so hard to preserve.” I said, not even sparing him a glance. I wanted him to know I didn’t care, even though I was a bit excited to be marrying him. 

“Um, right. Well then, till the dinner.” He said and left me to be. 

The months leading up to the dinner felt like nothing had changed. I suppose nothing has changed yet. Draco was still a bully along with his friends and I was their helpless victim. My sister still clung to Draco any chance and he was still annoyed by her actions. A very small part of me wanted to rub it in her face that I was the one to be marrying him, but I wasn’t that type of person. When it was finally time to return home for a short time, I spent the whole train ride thinking about the dinner to come. When everyone stepped off the train, Pansy hugged Draco goodbye and then she made her way over to our parents. 

“Girls! How has school been?” Mother asked with a smile. 

“It’s been alright, that Potter boy is incredibly annoying. Just because he ‘survived’ the Dark Lord’s attack he’s special? He was a bloody baby.” Pansy said, rolling her eyes. 

“He doesn’t want the fame.” I said. 

“You would know, traitor!” She hissed. 

“Enough girls!” Father said and I bowed my head. 

“Sorry Father…” I said, even though I never truly did anything wrong I always felt like I needed to apologize constantly. 

“There will be no fighting while you are home, is that understood?” He said. 

“Yes Father.” We said in unison. 

“Good, now let’s go home.” He said. 

A few days had gone by and my parents hadn’t mentioned anything about the dinner to me. I was sitting in the den reading, while my Mother was having a cup of tea and my Father was reading the paper. 

“Pansy, come down here please!” Father called her. 

“Yes?” She asked, walking into the room. 

“Aunt Paisley wanted to take you shopping tonight, would you like to go?” He asked. 

“Is Y/N coming?” She asked. 

“No, just you.” He answered and her eyes lit up. 

“Really? Just me and Auntie?” She asked and Father nodded. 

“Oh yes! I’d love to go!” She said and rushed upstairs to get ready. 

“Hurry dear! Your Aunt is already waiting for you!” Mother called. 

“I’ll be finished in a moment!” She called back. Sure enough after ten minus she was back downstairs, dressed to go out. It was the fastest I’ve ever seen her get ready.

“Right, take some floo powder and go to her house, she’s waiting for you there.” Father said and she nodded. 

“She said you can stay the night if you’d like.” Mother mentioned. 

“Oh yes please!” Pansy said, happily. She gave me a nasty smirk before taking some powder and saying our Aunt’s house. Off she went to have a nice night out with our Aunt. 

“Now, you go upstairs and get ready, your Mother picked out a dress for you to wear tonight.” Father said and I looked at my parents confused. 

“Ready for what?” I asked. 

“The dinner, we’re going to Malfoy Manor.” He answered and I was even more confused. 

“Why isn’t Pansy coming?” I asked. 

“Because, as much as we love your sister, we don’t want to hear her complain about your engagement for the rest of our lives. So she’ll find out when we’ve already planned the wedding and you two are getting married.” He answered and I couldn’t hold back my smile. 

“You’re lucky Draco didn’t tell her when he got his letter.” I said, placing my book on the table and went off to my room. Laying on my bed was a simple emerald green dress, with a slit down the side, and silver accents on both wrists. There were a pair of simple silver heels to match. I smiled at the outfit, it was really quite beautiful. Once I was dressed I did a simple spell to get my hair and makeup perfect. 

I walked downstairs and my parents were both ready to go. My Mother offered me her hand which I accepted and the three of us apparated to Malfoy Manor. The sky was already starting to darken, but the sun still peaked out, giving the sky a beautiful painting of pinks, purples, oranges, and yellows. We walked up the steps and my Father knocked on the door. A house-elf answered and I smiled, earring a glare from my Father. I bowed my head, he never liked how well I treated them. He always said those creatures deserve no kindness. I thought differently, house-elves deserved plenty of kindness, after all they’re very helpful. I always snuck into the kitchen at night and had lovely conversations with our house-elves, being careful not to catch the attention of anyone else in the house. 

“Mr. Parkinson, Mrs. Parkinson, Miss. Parkinson, please come in.” The little house-elf said. 

“Wolkey will inform Master of your arrival.” He said and left to get the Malfoys. 

“Ah, Philip, Oliva, Y/N, so glad you could make it.” Lucius said while shaking my Father’s hand. 

“What a lovely dress Y/N, don’t you think so Draco.” Narcissa said, gently nudging her son. 

“Yes, it’s a very lovely color on you.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“Thank you.” I smiled. 

The dinner was normal, our parents discussing business relations while Draco and I simply ate. It wasn’t until dinner was cleared and dessert was being served that the atmosphere changed. 

“I believe Draco has something to ask you Y/N.” Narcissa said with a smile. Draco cleared his throat and walked over to me on the other side of the table. He gently grabbed my hand and kept his other in his pocket. 

“Y/N, we’ve known each other since we were children and you’ve always been such a beauty. We’ve been friends for a while, but now I feel we should be more. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?” He asked. I could tell they weren’t his words, but they still made my heart flutter. Everyone looked at me expectantly, like I could say anything other than yes. 

“Yes Draco, I’d love to.” I smiled. Draco smiled and took out a sliver snake ring with a small emerald, the Malfoy family crest engraved on the bottom. 

Draco took my hand and placed the ring on my finger. 

“Draco, why don’t you take Y/N into the garden, I’m sure she’ll love it.” Narcissa said and Draco nodded. He gently helped me up and led me outside to the porch, looking over the garden. 

“That was all my Mother.” He stated as soon as we were away from our families. 

“I know.” I smiled at him and he looked at me confused. 

“How can you smile in a moment like this? You’re being forced into a marriage.” He asked confused. 

“I can tell you Mother picked out all the flowers.” I said, changing the subject. Before he could say anything I walked down the steps into the garden. 

“Hey! Wait!” He said and followed after me. 

“Will you answer my question?” He said, slightly annoyed. 

“Have you ever looked around here and really took notice of the beauty in your backyard?” I asked. 

“I’ve looked around here plenty if that’s what you’re asking.” He said, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh look, you have some wilting flowers.” I frowned. I kneeled down and cupped the flowers gently. 

“What are you doing? You’ll get your dress dirty.” He said, but I ignored him. 

“Herbivicus” I whispered and the flowers grew to their original form. I stood up and smiled, glancing at Draco who had a shocked expression on his face. 

“Where did you learn that?” He asked. 

“A book I read.” I answered. 

“You learned that just from a book?” He asked. 

“Yes, I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything I’ve read or what people have said to me.” I answered and looked down at my dress. There were some dirt spots, my parents would be upset with me. 

“Scourgify” I said and my dress was good as new. 

“The reason I can smile about our situation is because I’ll be making my parents proud for the first time since they’ve heard I’m friends with people they call traitors. I love my family, even my sister, shocking as that is, family is important to me and I’d like to make them proud of me. So if marrying you is what it takes then so be it. Perhaps we could even fall in love with each other, or even just be friends.” I finally answered his question. 

“You really are quite strange, aren’t you?” He said after a moment. 

“I just think on the positive side.” I smiled at him. 

“We can’t tell my sister until the very last minute, by the way, my parents don’t want to hear her complaints.” I mentioned and he gave a light chuckle. 

“I suppose even they don’t enjoy her company.” He said and I shook my head. 

“They love her, but yes, sometimes they don’t enjoy her complaining.” I answered. 

“How are you going to explain the ring?” He asked. 

“A surprise gift from my Aunt, that’s where Pansy is right now.” I answered and he gave another light chuckle. 

“Smart.” He said. 

“What if she tries to take it from you?” He asked. 

“You know my sister well.” I giggled. 

“My Father is going to spell the ring so only you or I can take it off. And if I need to take it off for whatever reason I have a spelled jewelry box, she’ll need my voice, DNA, and wand to get it open.” I answered with a smirk. 

“Very smart.” He said, slightly shocked. 

“I like to take caution when it comes to my sister. It’s a very beautiful ring, thank you.” I smiled.

“It’s tradition that the Malfoy proposing makes a special ring with the crest engraved on it. My Mother had it made, but asked for my opinion before it was finished.” He said and I smiled at him. 

“Still think this is a bad thing?” I asked. 

“Suppose there could be worse people to be forced to marry…” He said. 

“I’ll take that as a complement.” I said and stared down at the ring that fit perfectly on my finger. This was really happening. I was going to marry Draco Malfoy.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie​ @tashy-bear​ @ashwarren32​ @hollie-blogs-blog1​ @schisbro87​ @lover-of-books-and-teas​ @nerdygaloresposts​ @teenwolfbitches2​ @genius2050​ @drw0301bieber​ @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14​ @ravenempress101​ @cillianchamp​ @rowanthomasknapp​ @rachelxwayne​ @in-slytherin-we-trust​ @accio-rogers​ @sambucky8​ @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @vanessa-kom-skaikru​ @impulse-anchor​ @dracoswhvre​

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I give you a lot of angsty requests, so here, have a fluffy one!

Among Us: Through some glitch, a round generates with no impostors. For the first little while everyone is really on edge and trying to accuse each other, but they soon realize that nobody is dying and relax, although they're still very confused. Everybody does their tasks as normal, but instead of completing the last task, they all build a big pillow fort under the admin table and just take a rest for a little bit, hanging out and laughing over previous games and just being together without the tension of possible death and betrayal over their heads. Many stories are told, many "bodies" of friends knocked over in pillow fights are "reported", and many memories are made, before they finally decide to end the round! 💙

okay so this request was MEGA detailed so i didn’t get to every single part of it but i hope this is just as good lol

also bring on the angst I DARE YOU /lh

…

A weird feeling in his stomach, Etho presses the emergency meeting button, teleporting everybody to the table. Once everyone is assembled, Etho realises something strange.

“Okay, there’s been no deaths,” he says slowly.

“Wh- Seriously?!” Tango gasps. “That round lasted, like, twenty YEARS! Half the tasks have been done!”

Etho frowns. “Nobody’s seen anything suspicious, or…? No venting?”

Everybody shakes their heads.

“Okay… I guess we’ll skip, then. Everyone keep an eye out, though.”

When the meeting comes to an end, Etho trots after Tango as the latter heads towards weapons. “Hey, Tango? Does something seem a little off about this round to you?”

“Yeah. We’re a bunch of idiots who can barely play this game on a good day - except you, of course,” he adds, “but it’s definitely weird that we went that long without a single kill. The imposters must be really slow for some reason.”

Etho considers this. “Maybe. I’m not convinced.”

He leaves Tango’s side and peels off into navigation as Tango keeps going. After finishing his download, he goes back up and does his task in O2, before heading back to cafeteria to finish wires.

After this, he realises there still hasn’t been a body reported so he catches Astro as the latter enters cafeteria. “Hey, Astro. Can you hit the button for me?”

“Oh, sure.”

Astro presses the emergency meeting button, bringing everyone back to the table. Etho’s suspicions are confirmed when he sees that everybody is still alive.

“Okay, I’m sorry to call you back here, but we need to talk,” Etho says. “There’s something wrong with this round and we may have to abandon it.”

“What do you mean?” Skizz asks confusedly. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s been over three minutes and there’s been no kills or sabotages. I apologise if I’m not correct, but I just have a feeling that there’s something wrong. If you’re the imposter, please raise your hand now.”

Nobody moves.

“This isn’t a trick,” Etho adds. “I’m sorry if I’m ruining someone’s imposter round, but I’m genuinely a little concerned that the game has gone wrong.”

“I’ll support you on that,” says Tango. “Etho knows about this stuff. If he’s worried about the game glitching out, I’ll take that seriously. I’m not the imposter, but if anyone else is, I’d advocate coming forward just to make sure nothing’s wrong.”

After a moment, a chorus of murmurs comes from the others, all confirming that none of them are the imposter.

“Okay, so it seems the game has glitched and generated a round with no imposters somehow,” Etho says. “No need to panic; if we all finish our tasks and win the round, it should take us back to the lobby like normal.”

“But do we have to do that, though?” asks Impulse. “Tasks are almost done and there’s no imposters, so why don’t we just hang out a bit, without the threat of death?”

“I’m down for that,” says Endless unexpectedly. “I’ve always wanted to build a pillow fort in admin. The table looks perfect for it.”

“You mean out of pillows like these?” Joker holds up a pillow that he seemingly pulled from out of nowhere. “Hey, Skizz?”

Skizz turns. “What’s u-”

Joker whacks him in the face with the pillow.

“GAAAH!” Skizz shrieks, tripping over his own foot. “What the hell?!”

Clutching the pillow by its corner, Joker doubles over with laughter. “Oh my gosh, your FACE!”

“Okay, that’s it. Imposter or no imposter, I’m gonna murder you.”

Skizz snatches the pillow out of Joker’s hand and swings it at him, but Joker dodges and takes off running down the hallway towards storage, giggling like a child. Unable to help a laugh of his own, Skizz pursues him.

“Where did he even get that?” snickers Tango.

“Same place I got mine,” Endless says, holding up an identical white pillow. “Medbay.”

Brody tries to hold in a laugh. “Endless, I’ll give you a high five if you hit Tango with that pillow right now.”

Endless considers this for a moment.

Tango gives him a warning look. “Don’t. Endless, I swear to-.”

He cuts himself off and ducks as Endless swings the pillow at him, but before he can do it again, Endless brings it back round and whacks him in the side of the head, causing him to let out a yelp.

Laughing uncontrollably, Brody holds up his hand for a high five, which Endless gleefully gives him. “I like this,” he says happily. “I feel cool.”

“Endless, you’re starting something you can’t finish,” Tango warns.

“Then you finish it,” says Impulse unexpectedly, appearing out of nowhere to hand Tango a pillow of his own.

A grin slowly spreads over Tango’s face.

Endless blinks. “Oh. I’m in trouble.”

On the other side of the room, Etho glances sharply over as he hears a THWACK sound and finds Tango and Endless whacking each other viciously with pillows. He chuckles to himself and continues looking through the game’s code.

After a while, Brody approaches him. “Hey Etho, we’re gonna go build a pillow fort in admin. You should come join us.”

“Thanks, but I gotta work through this code.”

“You can do that in the lobby later. C’mon, we’ve got a once-in-a-lifetime thing here. This glitch will probably never happen again. Let’s have some fun on this map while we have the chance.”

After a moment, Etho nods and lets Brody take him into admin, where Mrs Tango and Astro are already piling cushions in the middle of the room.

“Is this what we do when we think the game might’ve gone wrong?” Etho chuckles. “Build pillow forts?”

“I mean, we may as well,” Brody responds. “Right? What else can we do?”

“Finish our tasks and end the round.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” says Astro from the floor.

As Etho opens his mouth to respond, Joker bursts into the room and dives behind Etho, who spins round to find Skizz skidding to a halt outside admin. “Where is he?!” he snaps, panting heavily. “I’m gonna kill that idiot!”

“What’s going on?” Brody demands. “Who are you talking about?”

“JOKER! He said my mohawk looks like a dead bush!”

Relaxing, Brody rolls his eyes. “Oh no. How terrible. He’s a MONSTER. We’d better throw him out the airlock right now.”

“Sarcasm duly noted,” Skizz huffs. “Where IS Joker, anyway?”

Brody jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Hiding under the admin table.”

“Brodyyyyy!” comes Joker’s muffled voice.

Skizz walks into the room and takes note of the group of people setting up the pillows and blankets over the top of the admin table. “So what’s going on here? Boy scout sleepover?”

“Yup,” Astro responds with a grin. “Do you have a problem with that?”

After a moment, Skizz shakes his head. “Nope. Can I borrow a cushion to hit Joker in his stupid face?”

“No,” says Astro firmly.

“Can I suffocate him in a blanket?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Can you relax and stop being a stupid schoolteacher for ten seconds?”

“Not if it means letting you try to kill Joker.”

“C’mon, I’m not ACTUALLY gonna kill him,” complains Skizz. “There’s no imposters this round, remember.”

“Mhm.”

Within five minutes, everyone is huddled under the blanket fort over the admin table, using a rusty lantern as a light source. It’s fairly roomy inside the makeshift tent, but the ten people are still sitting fairly close together.

“So now what?” Brody asks after a while. “Are we gonna talk about something?”

“How about we discuss what kind of dead bush Skizz’s hair looks like?” Joker asks innocently.

Skizz responds to this by whacking Joker in the face with a pillow, knocking him over backwards.

“Oh, report the body!” Tango yelps with a grin. “Skizz did it! Skizz did it!”

This causes the whole group to laugh, even Etho. After many rounds of chaos and suspicion, it’s nice to be able to joke around and relax a bit.

“How does it feel, huh?” Skizz smirks. “How does it feel to be hit with a taste of your own PILLOW?”

“Honestly, I deserved that.”

“Yeah you did.”

Joker yanks Skizz down next to him, grinning. “Shut up.”

A short pause follows this.

“This is the only round we’re gonna get like this, isn’t it?” asks Evil.

Etho nods. “Should be. Why?”

“Dunno. It just feels nice to just hang out with you all as a group and be happy. I love you guys so much.”

“I hate you,” Endless murmurs. “I hate you all.”

Immediately, the two people on either side of him grab him in a simultaneous hug. “Well too bad, cuz we love you,” Astro responds with a smile. “Grumpiness and all.”

A low groan comes from Endless, but everyone can see the hint of a smile on his face.

Etho sits back against the wall and gazes around at his friends. Mrs Tango is resting her head on Tango’s shoulder. Astro and Evil are still hugging and teasing Endless. Brody and Impulse are quietly chuckling together about something. Joker and Skizz have fallen asleep with the tops of their heads touching.

Even though Etho isn’t with anyone in particular at this moment, he still feels connected to his friends. He’s alone but he’s not lonely. And that’s a rare thing for him.

This group really is his family.

[let-them-read-fics]

Hidden Love & High Society

Requested by Anon: “Can you do a Jisoo x fem reader where the reader is also an idol and Jisoo and the reader develop feelings for each other. But they're under super strict companies and Korea is a strict society so they're scared to admit their feelings. Some angst but a fluffy ending please!”

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,049

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Self Doubt, Fluff, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: To the anon who requested: Thank you! I had a couple different ways I was going to go with this, but I think this version fits the best. I hope you enjoy it! Happy reading, everyone. Let me know what you think :)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Falling in love with Kim Jisoo had been a gradual experience, beautifully terrifying and perfectly imperfect. You never intended it, especially with how strict your companies are, but there was no stopping it once it started. As much as you’ve tried to, you can’t deny the butterflies that take flight when your eyes meet, or how your heart skips a beat whenever she’s near. In your head, where you’ve convinced yourself this unrequited love will forever stay, things are perfect; you hold onto the memories there when the hard times come along, seeking solace in them. Sadly, the real world can never look like this -- especially for the two of you. Two women -- two idols, at that -- thrust into the limelight, immersed fully in Korean standards and societal roles. You don’t stand a chance against all of the odds, even with your group members at your side, behind you all the way. But with every stolen glance, every fleeting moment with her, your feelings become harder to hide. You’re only capable of so much pretending, and your cache is running out.

Being the leader of your group is a wonderful thing that you don’t take lightly, but it doesn’t come without its share of stress. The girls look up to you, always trusting you to take care of them and do what’s right, and that makes you want to be perfect for them. That fact doesn’t make the inner turmoil any easier for you: is it better to deny yourself of the one thing you want, for the sake of saving face? Or should you teach them to live for themselves, answering to no one else? That question persists in your mind, replaying like a mantra, working to drive you insane. 

Jisoo is much the same: she knows how unforgiving and heinous the media can be, and she isn’t willing to risk the group’s reputation over a silly crush. A silly crush, she always tries to remind herself, although it becomes more difficult with every new memory she makes with you. She’s done well in concealing her emotions this long, but you make her feel weak; a part of her resents you for how easily you can turn her into a blushing mess. All of your little mannerisms and quirks fuel the flame in her heart, and she’s growing more and more fond of the feeling. 

~~~~~~~ 

For Jisoo, nights like these are always the best: both of your groups are relaxing at the Blackpink dorm, everyone discussing the award show you just attended. The two of you are seated on adjacent couches, the rest of your members strewn about the room, some on the floor while others lounge on the sofas. From her spot, Jisoo has the most perfect view: warm light shines on you from the nearby lamp, accentuating your features in all the right ways. Her gaze softens as she watches you recount how it felt to hear that you’d won, your eyes bright and expression cheery. You rule her world without even knowing it, and sometimes she seriously considers just listening to her heart and admitting her feelings. 

Lost in her thoughts of you, she doesn’t even realize that she’s leaned in closer, her eyes dropping down to your lips as you speak. You act like you don’t notice, doing your best to hide the blush that rises to your cheeks at the thought of having her full attention. There’s always been an unspoken tension between the two of you, and all of your members are aware of it. As Lisa takes control of the conversation, you sit back a bit, relaxing into the cushions of the loveseat. At the feeling of the material against your skin, you’re reminded of the time that Jisoo straddled you here, tickling you relentlessly as you squirmed and laughed. The memory, one of thousands that she’s the star of, brings a smile to your face.

Eventually the conversation shifts, with everyone ranting about how hungry they are. Of course, being the unnie that you are, you offer to make some food for everyone -- you enjoy cooking, but you also know that they’re all too lazy to make anything for themselves. 

“Jisoo, would you care to help me? I know I’m pretty great and all, but I’m not so sure I can feed this gang by myself.”

She has to stop herself from agreeing before you’re even done asking. Needless to say, her smirk widens as she says, “I’d love to help,” before standing up and trailing in your wake.

As the two of you make your way out of the room, a quiet chorus of ooo’s can be heard from the girls. You send them a stern look, but it only makes them giggle even more than they already are. Jisoo’s thankful that you’re turned away from her right now -- she has to bite her lip to contain the dorky grin on her face.

~~~~~~~

Upon entering the kitchen, you retrieve two aprons from the hook located beside the other entryway. The room is spacious and open, with plenty of countertop to work on and even an island in the middle. Perfect, you think to yourself. Jisoo leans into you as she wraps the material of the apron around your form, securing it in place with a light tug. You help her right after, and try hard not to get distracted by the warmth that radiates from her. 

To anyone other than the two of you, getting so flustered over such a simple act would seem ridiculous. You had long ago mastered the art of subtlety, though, quickly learning how important it is in your line of work. In a weird way, being so restricted added even more meaning to the small things -- light touches asking, “How was your day?”, soft smiles saying, “I’ve missed you.” Everything had a hidden message, a secret purpose between the two interacting. You spoke without words, living in a realm of quiet boldness.  

Now, equally as giddy in each other's presence, the two of you begin cooking.

~~~~~~~

By some miracle, you had managed to whip out a fairly big meal for everyone in just under an hour. The spread consisted of ramen, tteokbokki, dumplings, soup, and some other random things your members requested. Quickly, everyone is called into the dining room, and they begin making their plates. 

“Crap, I’ll be right back. I forgot to cut up the veggies.” You announce as you set off back to the kitchen, a pep in your step; preparing the food had made you realize just how hungry you are, and you want to hurry back. Perhaps that’s where your mistake laid; about halfway through the batch of veggies, in the rushed state that you were in, you miscalculated the slice, and the sharp edge of the knife cut into your finger. It wasn’t too deep, but it was enough to draw blood immediately, the red liquid running down your hand without restraint. 

“Oww!!” You call out to no one in particular as the pain seeps in.

At the sound of your strained voice, Jisoo practically races to the kitchen to check on you. The other members are concerned too, but they know that she’ll take care of you. (Besides, they’re busy chowing down on the food... but we won’t mention that). 

“Y/N?? What happened?” She’s frightened, completely worried about you. 

You fill her in to the best of your ability, feeling a little lightheaded as you catch a glimpse of your hand. She wraps you in her embrace, steadying you, and grabs a towel. You’re unable to stop the pained hiss that leaves you at the pressure she adds to the tender skin in order to stop the bleeding. She sends you a regretful look, paired with a quick sorry, as she walks you to the bathroom.

Once there, she puts the lid down, carefully setting you down on the toilet. The cold surface of the porcelain makes you tense up, but it’s successful in taking your mind off the pain, if nothing else. Your eyes shyly trail up her body as she stands on her tippy toes, stretching up to reach the top shelf of the medicine cabinet. How does she manage to always look so good?

“Here, let’s rinse it off first.” It’s a request and a command wrapped into one, and you readily agree. One of her arms loops around your waist as she helps you stand, and you hold onto her with your good hand. She tries not to think about how your fingertips run over her collarbone, lightly stroking the skin there, absentmindedly. Focus, Jisoo, she tells herself. Even with the slight grimace on your face, you look breathtaking. After all, you’re art to her -- she would spend hours studying you if she could, imprinting every detail of you into her mind. 

You lean against the smooth counter of the sink, feeling your hip bones press onto it, and you wobble a bit. Jisoo notices this, but both of her hands are busy with cleaning your injured one off -- thus, she does the next best thing: gently, she repositions herself so that one of her legs is behind you, and she presses her own hips into you. Once you’re secured against the counter, she puts her focus back on her previous task. Meanwhile your brain is having trouble functioning at the proximity of your bodies; she’s being bold. You steal a glance at her in the mirror, but she appears cool and collected -- the complete opposite of you right now. 

After the bleeding has slowed dramatically, she returns you to your seat and grabs the bandages. She crouches in front of you, a reassuring smile on her lips as she makes sure you’re feeling okay. Once your finger is patched up, she takes you by surprise: she places a small kiss to it, her hands still cradled around yours lovingly. 

Likely from the blood loss, a strange surge of confidence comes over you, and you reach forward to run your thumb across her bottom lip. She’s a little shocked, with how her eyes open a little wider and her breath hitches. The two of you stay like that, looking at each other, a silent war of wills being waged. 

In that instant, Jisoo is forced to confront her feelings. She had long ago lost count of how many times she’s wanted to kiss you. To feel your body aligned with hers, your racing heart against her chest, minds running wild with all of the new possibilities being unlocked. It would be a huge step, no doubt -- one that offered no chance to turn back, no place for fear to reside any longer. It would feel like finally solving a puzzle, all of the pieces coming together in just the right ways. As terrifying as that leap would be to make, Jisoo would do it for you. The idea became a little less daunting with every step closer the two of you got to one another.

And so, she does. Jisoo leans forward fairly quickly, capturing your lips in a hesitant kiss -- if she would’ve gone slower, she knows she would’ve chickened out. A light tremble runs through her, proving just how nervous she is. At first, you relax into the kiss, moving your lips against hers in perfect time; once your brain catches up with your heart, though, you pull away. 

“I- I can’t,” you stutter out, mind still a little foggy at what just went down. You lick your lips without really meaning to.

Her expression quickly dims, now looking dejected at your rejection. As she goes to stand, one of your hands lands on the collar of her shirt, holding her in place -- you don’t want her to misunderstand you.

“If we do that, I won’t be able to stop myself.” 

“Who says we have to? I’m sick of holding back.” Her hands are resting on your thighs now, eyes watching you intently as she waits for your response. She’s just a breath away from you, sitting right in the palm of your hand. 

You panic and say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

Your change of heart confuses her, but she respects your wishes nonetheless. Just as quickly as she had appeared before, she’s gone, leaving you to think about what just happened. 

You sit there, already missing her presence, and you hate yourself a little more. How could you be so stupid? The opportunity was right there, ripe for the taking, circumstances perfectly aligned, and yet you let it all slip away. Even still, your mind justifies your cowardice for fear of the fall out that would ensue. This is for the best, though it hurts. Keeping Jisoo at arm’s length in the name of protecting her had become the customary thing to do, and you fell right back into the habit. To be with her is to limit her, and you can’t bear the thought of that. She deserves to be showered with love and attention all the time, not hidden away and forced into secret meetings. What kind of life would that be?

~~~~~~~

The rest of the evening hosts a newfound tension, one full of uncertainty and longing. The two of you are deep in your thoughts, neither of you knowing where to go from here. She tries to forget how your lips felt, the rhythm that they fell into with hers; but she can’t get it out of her head.  

Before long, your members decide to call it a night, and you’re being whisked away. Somehow, it’s a combination of exactly what you want, and the complete opposite -- what are you to do now? Where do you stand with Jisoo? Your feelings are so overwhelming that it’s almost too much to handle; so many questions float around in your mind, begging to be answered by her. 

Quick goodbyes are given, and you can’t find it in yourself to even hold her gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. Surely you’ve hurt her: knowing that fact is bad enough -- you can’t stand the thought of seeing the pain in her eyes, her smile even a little faded because of your own doing. It tears you up, and your speedy exit is a testament to that.

~~~~~~~

2:41 AM

You’ve spent the better part of the night tossing and turning with no hope of getting any sleep, no end in sight for this self-made torture. Regret runs through you every time you replay the events that unfolded, and you feel a little more hopeless with each passing second. 

Why did she have to kiss you? It’s impossible to contain your feelings now, the emotions far too abundant to be bottled up any longer. Your lips remember how hers moved against them, her gloss spreading at the contact. She tasted like some tropical fruit, sweet and foreign on your tongue. Being with her is like taking a late night drive through the city, windows rolled down with the radio playing your favorite songs. She makes everything feel possible, somehow, and you secretly love the spontaneity of it all. You want more than anything to just give in, to relent after all this time. Clearly she feels the same, right? If that kiss meant anything, then surely she did. So why should you care about the rest of it? If being with you is what she wants, who are you to deny her?

~~~~~~~

“Y/N?” Her voice is sleepy, yet it still holds a layer of shock; likely given the fact that you’re at her door at such an ungodly hour. 

“Did I wake you up?” 

She pauses for a beat, seemingly deciding on what to say, before replying, “...no. I can’t sleep.” 

“Neither can I,” you confess, hoping that she’ll put two and two together. 

“Listen, I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have done that without asking first.” For a second, your heart stops, and you almost chicken out again. 

“I’m glad you did, Jisoo. Because it made me realize how much I like you.” You listen to your heart, the admission coming out more confident than you expected. 

She’s stunned, to say the least, her eyes blinking a few times in confusion. “I thought--” she starts, but you interrupt her.

“I’ve spent all of this time pushing you away when all I’ve ever wanted was to be close to you. To be with you. I’m just so scared of what people will say, you know? There’s no turning back after that.”

“I wouldn’t want to, Y/N. I’d rather be happy with you than live like this. To hell with them, they’re always gonna have something to say about us. You and I can figure it all out together.” She smiles at the end of her statement, a tender hue in her eyes that you’ve never quite seen before. 

As you stand there in her doorway, the slight chill of the night breeze ghosting over your skin, giving you goosebumps, everything clicks. It feels like coming home, something that was always destined to be, and you can tell she feels it, too. You close the distance, finally allowing your walls to crumble away. Her arms are around you, and her presence is actively soothing any remaining fears you may have. Only she is capable of that; you’ve never felt safer than when you’re with her. You run a hand down her arm, lacing your fingers with her own in a sweet embrace. She relaxes into you, now able to trust that you won’t leave. 

Though the kisses started off sweet, they’ve turned more desperate; the two of you are eager to make up for lost time, after all. Following an especially bruising kiss, you pull away breathlessly, and rest your forehead against hers. “Can I come in?” You ask shyly, ducking your head down a bit. Two of her fingers hook underneath your chin, raising your head so that your eyes can meet hers. “I’m not letting you get away this time.” With that, the two of you retreat to her room, hand in hand. You spend the night tangled up in each other, joining forces to write your new destiny together from scratch. 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Thanks for reading!!!

[silverlightqueen]

Satiate

silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest

incubus!Jisung x human!reader ft. itzy yeji and ab6ix daehwi - smut again, a little bit of comedy and fluff, jisung tries his hardest to be soft but it’s a struggle bc he wants to corrupt y/n lol I’m a slut for corruption kink

Word Count: 11.2k+ words (I’M SO SORRY)

Summary -  y/n needs to lose her virginity before her date with Sex God Seonghwa, and what better way than to enlist the help of a soft dom sex demon? Except the soft dom was fully booked, so she got a hard dom sex demon instead. But it’ll be totally fine. Right?

Warnings: discussion of virginity, explicit sex, unprotected sex, harddom/softdom!jisung x subvirgin!y/n, explicit dirty talk, soft and rough sex lol, corruption kink, marking, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), facefucking, guided blowjob, cum swallowing, gagging, hair pulling, teasing, brief nipple play, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, crying during sex, virgin sex, it hurts her a lot at the start, asphyxiation, degradation and praise lol, overstimulation, aftercare, I think that’s it but please let me know if you notice I missed something!

a/n: and here is the fifth instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I really hope you guys enjoy this, and thank you to my sexy best friend for proofreading this filthy monster of a fic lmao, you’re the best! please be sure to check out the previous parts and keep an eye out for the next parts too! x

taglist: @kodzu-ken​ @cloudsgathering​ @silverlightprincess

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‘Did I just hear what I think I heard?’ Daehwi says from Yeji’s bedroom door, mouth wide open in shock, and I shoot Yeji a dirty look for talking so loud. We’re sat on her bed opposite each other, both of us with legs crossed and a half empty pizza box beside us. ‘What did you think you heard?’ she asks him, obviously not wanting to admit anything she doesn’t have to. ‘You saying that y/n is a… virgin,’ he says, whispering the last word, and Yeji winces as I let out a loud huff, dropping my head into my hands. ‘Please, Daehwi, kindly never ever mention that again. To me or to anybody else,’ I wail embarrassedly, voice muffled by my hands, and Daehwi lets out a little laugh, stepping in and shutting the door behind him.

‘Why did I not know this?’ he asks, throwing himself down on the bed between Yeji and I, sprawled out on her covers, and I lift my head from my hands. ‘Why would you? It’s not like I’d mention it to my best friend’s boyfriend.’ ‘I would’ve thought Yeji would’ve told me,’ he says pointedly, Yeji rolling her eyes. ‘I’m not gonna spill my best friend’s secrets to you. It’s none of your business anyway.’ ‘Well, no, but I could’ve helped,’ he says, my eyes widening as Yeji chokes on thin air. ‘Not personally, obviously! I could’ve set you up with someone. Loads of my friends think you’re hot,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I exchanging a glance.

‘What?’ ‘I’ve told you this before. Well… I thought I did. But, yeah, they mention y/n a lot. They’ve all got little crushes on you – who wouldn’t? You are pretty hot, y/n. From an objective point of view, obviously,’ he adds as a panicked afterthought, the scowl on Yeji’s face softening as she rolls her eyes. ‘I’m not looking to… lose my virginity, though. I’m quite happy being a virgin,’ I say, Yeji and Daehwi both raising their eyebrows at me, and I let out an annoyed huff. ‘Okay, maybe I’m panicking about it!’ I exclaim, Daehwi laughing as Yeji pats my leg comfortingly.

‘Why are you panicking?’ ‘You know that guy in your Wednesday morning seminar, Seonghwa? Well, she’s been crushing on him for a while, and he asked her to go to Jackson’s Halloween party with him! But she’s worried he’s gonna want sex, because she feels like she’s gonna fuck it all up and it’s gonna really hurt because she’s really inexperienced and doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing and-’ ‘Okay, Yeji, god, don’t sugar-coat it!’ ‘Sorry, sorry. So yeah, she’s panicking,’ Yeji explains, Daehwi nodding as he listens. ‘So… just don’t have sex with him if you’re not comfortable with it. You don’t owe it to him,’ Daehwi says, and I sigh. ‘But I want to have sex with him. God, I really wanna have sex with him. He’s so goddamn hot,’ I say dreamily, Daehwi raising an eyebrow. ‘He’s not that hot.’ ‘He is,’ Yeji says, ignoring the hurt look Daehwi throws her way.

‘So lose your virginity to him,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I looking at him in disbelief. ‘You think Seonghwa The Sex God is gonna go easy on her? No, he won’t. And she needs someone to go easy on her the first time, so she can get used to it a little,’ Yeji says, Daehwi nodding. ‘So… you need someone to take your virginity and teach you about sex before Jackson’s Halloween party?’ Daehwi asks, Yeji and I nodding. We’re all silent for a moment, a thoughtful look on Daehwi’s face, and then he sighs.

‘Okay, this probably isn’t a good idea, but I’m gonna suggest it to you anyway,’ he says reluctantly, and I exchange a look with Yeji. ‘Have you heard of incubuses before?’ he asks, and I frown in confusion. ‘Um, yeah. They’re demons, right?’ ‘Yeah. Sex demons.’ ‘Oh. Sex demons,’ I repeat in surprise, and he nods, looking like he’s holding back a laugh. ‘Yeah. I know one. He’s a really nice guy actually – people usually summon him for their first time, or if they’ve just broken up with someone and they need to feel loved. He’s super soft and sweet. Well, that’s what I’ve heard,’ he adds at Yeji’s suspicious look, and I hold back a laugh.

‘So you’re telling me you can set me up with a soft and sweet sex demon to take my virginity?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘But… I wouldn’t advise it. It should be your last resort. You can get addicted to incubus sex, and that’s never good.’ ‘I’m sure Seonghwa would be able to satiate her cravings,’ Yeji says with a wink, both of us dissolving into giggles as Daehwi looks between us unamusedly. ‘I’m being serious.’ ‘But it sounds like a good idea, Daehwi. What does he look like?’ I ask, and Daehwi hesitates before sighing, getting his phone out of his pocket. When he holds the screen up to me a few moments later, my mouth falls open.

‘Oh, my God. He… is fucking gorgeous,’ I murmur, butterflies in my stomach at just seeing his face on a screen. It’s a group picture but Daehwi’s zoomed in on him, stood in the middle of the group of boys. He looks quite tall, very well-proportioned with long limbs, a small waist and thick thighs. His hair is long and blond, and he has half of it pulled back into a ponytail in this picture, a few strands framing his perfect face. His eyes are dark and sparkly, his lips are plump and pink, his bone structure is strong and defined, and his skin is smooth and tanned. ‘Oh. Wow,’ Yeji says when she sees the picture, Daehwi huffing in annoyance. ‘Sorry, but he is hot. Hotter than Sex God Seonghwa.’

‘What’s his name?’ I ask, unable to keep my eyes off him. ‘He goes by Hyunjin. That’s his human name, anyway. I could text him to ask if he’d help y-’ ‘Yes. Text him. Please.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Hundred percent.’ Yeji and I watch as Daehwi sends Hyunjin a text (didn’t know demons had phones), asking for a favour, and then the three of us wait eagerly for a reply, half-focusing on the film playing on Yeji’s tv. ‘He’s typing!’ Daehwi exclaims, Yeji squealing as we stare at the screen, waiting for his reply to pop up.

Daehwi: hey bro, how you been? looking forward to seeing you at Jackson’s. wondering if you could do me a favour?

Hyunjin: hey bro! I’m good, looking forward to it too. anything bro, what you need?

Daehwi: my girlfriend’s friend has a date to the party, and she wants to lose her virginity before the date. I know you… deal with stuff like that a lot, so we were wondering if you could help her out?

Daehwi: she’s hot

‘Daehwi, you idiot! Why would you put that? Now we look desperate!’ Yeji exclaims as I hit my head with my hand. ‘Sorry. But Hyunjin has a weakness for a pretty face! There’s no way he’ll say no,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I exchanging an exasperated glance as his phone pings with a new text.

Hyunjin: bro if you’d texted me like an hour ago, I could’ve helped 😭 my schedule is literally packed bc it’s so close to halloween, I literally can’t fit anyone else in

Hyunjin: how hot is she tho 👀

‘Send him that sexy picture I took of her on that night out. The one where she’s smiling and she looks all glowy and she’s got her tits out,’ Yeji says, Daehwi letting out a little noise of disgust as he opens my Instagram. ‘Do her tits disgust you, Daehwi?’ Yeji demands angrily, making me burst into laughter. ‘Her… tits make me feel nothing. Let’s hope they make Hyunjin feel something, so he moves his schedule around,’ Daehwi says as he sends the picture, successfully deflecting Yeji’s accusation.

Hyunjin: bro you’re killing me here, she’s so hot 😭

Hyunjin: I wish I could move my schedule around but I just can’t. apparently people like fucking soft doms at halloween

Hyunjin: I’ve got a friend who might be able to fit her in tho

‘He’s a soft dom? Oh, my God, he would’ve been perfect,’ Yeji says miserably, and I can’t help but feel miserable myself. This gorgeous specimen actually finds me hot but is too busy to have sex with me. How is this fair? ‘Ask about his friend,’ I say reluctantly, and Daehwi begins typing out a message.

Daehwi: what’s your friend like?

Hyunjin: he’s apparently really good but he’s not um as soft as I am

Hyunjin: he’s kinda a hard dom

Hyunjin: but he’s been wanting to uh expand his skill set for a while

Hyunjin: I can’t believe I’m giving up this opportunity but this might be good for him

‘What’d you say, y/n?’ Daehwi asks, and I feel a little reluctant. I’m supposed to have someone go easy on me for my first time and instead I’m gonna have a hard dom sex demon who’s trying to ‘expand his skill set’. I’m not sure this is a good idea, but showing up to that party with Seonghwa as a completely untouched virgin is a worse idea. ‘Fuck it. Tell him I’ll do it.’

Daehwi: she said she’ll do it

Hyunjin: great! jisung will be happy

Hyunjin: what’s her name?

Daehwi: y/n y/l/n. she lives in the same accommodation block as me

Hyunjin: great, I’ve just spoken to him and he said he’ll be there tonight

‘Tonight?’ Yeji and I chorus in a loud shriek, Daehwi covering his ears with a wince. ‘Girl, let’s get you back to your apartment now. Shower and shave and put on something sexy,’ Yeji says excitedly, jumping out of the bed and pulling me towards the door. ‘Yeji, wai- Thank you, Daehwi!’ I shout over my shoulder as she drags me out of the room. ‘No problem, y/n,’ I hear him call back, ‘have fun with Jisung!’

‘Wow. My first virgin and she’s fast asleep,’ a dry voice cuts into my slumber, and I peel my eyes open, blinking in the low light of my lamp. ‘Oh, maybe she’s not,’ the voice says again amusedly as I push myself up into a sitting position, the bedsheets still covering my half-naked body, and rub at my eyes to wake myself up. When I reopen them, they focus on a boy stood at the foot of my bed. ‘Wakey wakey, sweetheart,’ he murmurs, a smirk on his handsome face. ‘You’re Jisung, right?’ I ask, words a little slurred with drowsiness, and he lets out a gentle chuckle, sitting at the foot of my bed. ‘The one and only, baby,’ he replies with a grin, and I don’t reply, taking a moment to look him over.

He’s a little on the short side, but I’ve never really cared for height all that much, and his body is very much in proportion, his small waist giving him a nice figure. His hair is blond – dyed, I’m guessing. It doesn’t really look like it’d be natural with his honey complexion – and his eyes are dark brown. He’s very… very handsome, in his tight black jeans and plain white t-shirt, simple silver jewellery adorning his neck, ears, wrists and fingers.

‘Are you just gonna sit there staring at me, or are you gonna talk?’ he asks, pink lips quirking up into an amused smirk. ‘Sorry. I’m still a little… sleepy,’ I mumble, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘I can tell. I’m sure Hyunjin told your friend that I was coming tonight.’ ‘He did. But I thought tonight would mean at, like, 11, 12, maybe 1. Not… 3.57 in the morning,’ I say pointedly as I read the time from my phone screen, raising an eyebrow at him, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m a busy guy. I just about squeezed you into my schedule.’

‘Because you want to expand your skill set?’ I ask dryly, and he laughs quite loud at that. ‘Is that what Hyunjin told your friend? Fucking liar. I’m a hard dom, sweetheart, and quite happy being one – I’ll leave the heartbroken and the virgins to Hyunjin. I only accepted this because I owe him one, and because you… well, you’re hot,’ he says bluntly, and I feel myself starting to panic. ‘But… I’ve never had sex before. I need someone to be gentle and careful. I can’t h-’ ‘Woah, woah, baby, relax. I’m not gonna, like, tie you up and punish you and stuff. I’m not evil. But I might not be able to do all the nice stuff that Hyunjin does, like the soft kisses and the compliments and shit,’ he says, and I let out a frustrated huff.

‘So I’m about to lose my virginity to a ‘hard-dom’ demon who won’t give me any kisses or compliments or any of the stuff that makes your first time actually enjoyable? Great!’ I exclaim as my eyes fill with tears, voice shaky, and his face drops with panic. ‘Don’t cry, sweetheart, don’t cry!’ he says, moving up the bed to wipe the tears from my face, ‘I’ll try my best, I promise, but that stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. You might have to just remind me to go a little slower on you, or be a little gentler.’ I nod, wiping away my tears embarrassedly, letting out a little laugh.

‘God, this is so humiliating. We’re supposed to be having sex, and instead I’m crying to you,’ I say miserably, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘Don’t worry about it, baby. I have girls crying all the time. Usually it’s when I’m fucking them, but it’s still tears. Crying, I can deal with,’ he says gently, making me laugh. ‘We don’t have to have sex straight away. You’ve got me for a few hours, sweetheart, so we can slowly work up to it. This is new for both of us, remember? So it’s best we don’t rush straight into it. Don’t panic,’ he murmurs, brushing my hair back from my face with a soft hand, and I nod, feeling a little better. At least he’s nice.

‘Why’d you wanna lose your virginity, sweetheart?’ ‘Did Hyunjin not tell you?’ ‘He showed me the picture of you, said you were a virgin and asked me to do him a solid. I didn’t ask for the backstory.’ ‘I’ve got a date with this guy, Seonghwa, in a few days. He’s taking me to our friend’s Halloween party – apparently Hyunjin’s going too – and he’s like this absolutely gorgeous Sex God. I want to have sex with him, but I doubt he’ll want to fuck an inexperienced virgin,’ I explain, Jisung listening intently, nodding in all the right places. ‘Ah, right. So you need to know at least a little about what to expect with Sex God Seonghwa?’ ‘Yep, and I literally don’t know the first thing about sex.’

‘Not a single thing?’ he asks, and I shake my head sheepishly. ‘Someone as hot as you has never had any… sexual encounters?’ ‘Nope. By choice, because I’ve never met a man that’s interested in me that isn’t trash, but still.’ ‘No boyfriends or girlfriends, nothing?’ ‘None.’ ‘Have you at least kissed someone before?’ he asks, sounding a little surprised, and I shake my head. ‘Never.’ ‘Have you masturbated?’ he asks bluntly, the question making me a little flustered. ‘I tried a couple times, but I never made myself… cum,’ I tell him shyly, the last word coming out quieter, and his eyes widen. ‘A couple times? Seriously? You’re, like… totally pure. Fuck, I don’t know if this is a good idea,’ he says slowly, making me panic again. ‘Hyunjin would’ve been perfect for this. I can’t take your first kiss, let alone have sex with you for the first time. Maybe I should ask Hyunjin to swap his schedule with me, he should be the one to do this,’ he says, as though he’s thinking out loud, and he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

Something makes me stop him, my hand reaching out to cover his phone without a second thought, and he looks up at me in surprise. ‘I… I want it to be you, though. This… might be a learning curve for you. Might be good for you to try something new,’ I say hesitantly, and Jisung raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re so innocent, sweetheart. The fact that you think that makes it even more obvious that it shouldn’t be me. You’re the perfect girl, y/n, and I’m not the perfect guy. Hyunjin is,’ he says, an echo of… sadness in his voice, and my heart goes out to him. ‘I don’t want the perfect guy, though. I know we only just met, like two minutes ago, but I want it to be you,’ I say quietly, and he just stares at me for a moment, in deep thought, before he sighs.

‘This isn’t a good idea,’ he murmurs gently, hand coming up to my face. ‘Losing my virginity to a sex demon of any kind isn’t a good idea, but I’m still doing it,’ I reply gently as he caresses my face tenderly, fingers splayed on my cheek and thumb resting on my bottom lip, and he lets out a little laugh. ‘Okay. If this is what you want, who am I to deny you? Just… remember to tell me if you need me to stop,’ he murmurs, hand still on my face, and I nod at him, trying to calm my nerves.

‘You’re… so fucking pretty. I’d love to fucking ruin you, sweetheart. Turn you from a pure innocent angel into a desperate little cockslut. Tease you and edge you and play with you for hours until you’re begging and crying for my cock, and then, only then, would I absolutely fucking ruin you. Make you cum so many times you can’t see straight, make you forget everything in the world other than my name,’ he says in a low voice, brown eyes becoming tinged with a red glow and hand tightening slightly on my face as he speaks, and I can feel my underwear dampening more and more with each word. I gulp loudly, trying to hide my arousal, but the sound knocks him out of his reverie, his eyes focused on mine.

‘You like the sound of that, huh, baby?’ he asks with a small smirk, and I can’t even bring myself to speak, just giving a quick embarrassed nod. ‘I can tell. I can smell you, how wet you are, how much you want me. Fuck, you’re so fucking innocent, sweetheart. A little bit of dirty talk, and you’ve melted in my hands. If I wasn’t so nice, I’d rip off your clothes, cover you in marks, make you squirm under me, have you screaming and crying and begging for me to let you cum, do anything and everything I wanted to do to you, baby, right this second. But I’m nice, so I won’t, because I’d probably make you pass out if I did. So we’ll start easy, and maybe, if you enjoy tonight… we can save that stuff for round 2, or maybe even round 3. Might be a little too intense for round 2,’ he says gently, and all I can do is nod, too embarrassed about the fact that the filth he’s just spoken about has turned me on so much.

‘Can I take the covers off you, angel? Wanna see you,’ he murmurs gently, and I hesitate. No boy has ever seen me in my underwear, and he must have seen so many naked women before, women that are much more beautiful than me. ‘Oh, no, sweetheart, don’t you dare start thinking things like that. You are fucking gorgeous. You think I’d be here if you weren’t?’ he asks, almost angrily, and my eyes widen with surprise. ‘I can… sense what you’re thinking. Not quite a mind reader, but your scent changes with your thoughts and emotions. So I know that you’re doubting yourself right now, when you shouldn’t. You’re so beautiful, angel,’ he says softly, and I feel a little better after his encouragement, nodding my permission.

The grin that transforms his face is so sexy – dark, and almost evil, but so sexy – and I focus on his handsome face when he takes the covers into his hands, slowly pulling them off me. ‘Sweetheart, you’re in a dressing gown,’ he says amusedly, and I look down at myself, realising that, yes, I am. ‘Oh. I forgot about that,’ I say sheepishly, hands moving to undo the satin cord that I have tied in a bow, but he moves my hands away. ‘Wait. Let me kiss you first,’ he whispers, eyes locked with mine, and he stills, waiting for my permission first. I take a deep breath before nodding, and a small smile lifts his lips up at the corners, his hands coming to rest on either side of my face. My eyes flutter shut when his face comes closer to mine, and it feels like a lifetime before his soft lips brush against mine briefly. My first kiss.

He pulls away, as though to check I’m okay with it, but I lean forward, following his lips, and he lets out a gentle chuckle when our mouths meet again. It’s a foreign feeling – that’s all I can think the first few seconds – and it doesn’t exactly feel amazing. It’s intimate, and comforting, I guess, but not as brilliant as the books and films make it out to be. And then he parts my lips with his, tongue slipping into my mouth, and the world melts away. Pleasure explodes inside me, my body lit aflame with hot desire, and it’s magic, absolute magic. The caress of his lips against mine is so soft, and the warmth from his mouth spreads through me, making me melt into him as my arms come around his shoulders.

The kiss quickly becomes more firm, passionate and hungry, and I just try to follow his lead, feeling my breathing quicken when his hands slide down my body and snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him as our mouths move in sync. His essence floods my senses, and all I can think is that he tastes, smells, feels like night. Crisp and comforting, dark and soft, with the calm of the moon and the beauty of the stars. I’m filled with lust, wanting to feel everything from him if he’s this good at kissing.

He eventually breaks away, leaving me breathless, and when I reopen my eyes, he’s grinning at me. ‘For a girl who’s never kissed someone before, you’re damn good at it,’ he observes, and I must admit, the praise gives me a confidence boost. At least that’s one less thing to worry about with Seonghwa. ‘I’m gonna take your dressing gown off now, okay?’ he says, hands still around my waist, and I nod, keeping my eyes on his as he pulls open the bow. My dressing gown falls open slightly and he slowly slips his hands under the satin, hands landing on my stomach, the contact sending a shiver down my spine.

His hands slide up my torso, quickly passing my boobs and making their way over my shoulders, taking the dressing gown with them, and the satin falls off me, pooling at my elbows which are bent around his shoulders. His breath catches in his throat as his eyes trawl over my exposed body, adorned in the black lace lingerie that Yeji made me buy a few weeks ago. ‘Fuck, wow, you’re so pretty,’ he breathes out, hands trailing down to my waist, ‘Sex God Seonghwa’s a lucky guy.’

He leans in again, my eyes fluttering shut when his lips press against mine, harsher and rougher this time. His hands slide around my back, pulling me down against the bed so he can hover over me as his tongue glides over mine, making me feel numb. He holds himself up with one forearm pressing into the bed beside me, hand curled up into a fist, whilst the other hand roams up and down the side of my body, the satin of my dressing gown gliding across my skin with each movement he makes. He pulls my bottom lip between his teeth, so hard that I feel him drawing blood, and my mind turns to mush as he laves his tongue over where blood blooms from the sensitive skin, making me let out a gentle whimper against his lips.

‘Fuck, you’re so cute,’ he says against my lips, voice laced with amusement as he rolls us over so that I lay atop him, my body fitting into his like puzzle pieces. His hands slide down my back, squeezing my ass and making me let out a little gasp into his mouth. ‘You sound so pretty, baby,’ he says as he breaks away from me, lips landing on my jaw and slowly trailing down my neck. He sucks and bites at my skin as he travels down my body, leaving faint marks in his wake. I let out shaky whimpers and whines as he kisses and bites my skin, fingers tangled into his soft blond locks.

His mouth trails past my chest and down my tummy, and my stomach clenches with nerves when he reaches the waistband of my pants, the boy stilling and looking up at me with his big eyes. ‘Are you nervous, angel?’ he asks softly, and I hesitate before nodding, feeling like an idiot, and his lips quirk up into a small smile. He lifts himself up into a sitting position and pulls my legs into his lap, running his hands up and down them soothingly. ‘Stop feeling embarrassed about being nervous. It’s normal – you’re not weird. Just relax,’ he says gently, and I nod, trying to take his words on board. It’s normal. It’s totally normal.

He removes my legs from his lap and moves up the bed, sitting beside me with his back against the headboard. ‘Come sit here, sweetheart,’ he says, patting the space between his legs, and I move myself into the space, my hands resting on his thighs as he snakes his arms around me, pulling my back against his front. I feel his lips land on my neck, making me tilt my head to allow him better access, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his kisses, and his hands slide down my stomach and under my legs. He pulls my legs up to bend at the knee before slipping his hands between my thighs, parting them. ‘You know the colour system?’ he asks, and I hesitate before replying, ‘yeah. Green to say I’m good, yellow to say I need a break, and red to say I need to stop.’ ‘Good girl,’ he replies, rewarding me with a gentle kiss on my cheek.

‘I’m gonna finger you, baby, loosen you up and prep you for my cock. Is that okay?’ he murmurs against my ear, arousal flooding my underwear as I nod. ‘Words, sweetheart. I wanna hear that you’re okay with it,’ he prompts, and I breathe out, ‘yes. It’s okay.’ His hand slips down between my legs, fingertips gliding across my saturated underwear, making me shiver in his arms. ‘Oh, angel, you’re so wet,’ he whispers in wonder, my breaths already becoming shaky with his finger gently running up and down my pants. He doesn’t waste much time before sliding his hand beneath my underwear, his teasing promptly finishing with his fingers gliding across my wet folds. He quickly finds my clit, finger pressing against the bud, and I let out a high whimper, head falling back against him.

He lets out a gentle chuckle, warm breath fanning across my exposed neck as he rubs at my clit in slow circles, exhilaration filling me. He quickly becomes bored, moving his hand out of my pants and opting to pull them aside instead, exposing my glistening wet pussy to the cool air of the room, a shudder running through me. He slides a finger in slowly, my body reacting to the unfamiliar intrusion by clenching my walls around him, and he doesn’t move at all for a few moments, letting me getting used to the unusual feeling.

‘Fuck, you’re so tight. Gonna break my finger. Shit, can’t wait to stretch out this tight little virgin cunt,’ he whispers against my ear, cutting my whine short when he starts to slowly slide his finger in and out of me. The feeling soon starts to become pleasurable rather than weird, my walls not clenching as hard so as to let his finger in, and he takes advantage of it, sliding in another finger with the first. ‘Jisung!’ I moan out desperately, eyes falling shut at the feeling of him rocking two thick fingers into me, arousal gushing out onto his skin.

He curls his fingers inside me, the intense pleasure making me clamp my thighs shut around his hand as I whine, and he chuckles, pushing them apart. He hooks one leg with his own, keeping it restrained from meeting the other, which he holds with a strong hand, cold rings digging into my skin. ‘So sensitive, sweetheart,’ he says amusedly, curling his fingers again and hitting the spot inside me that makes me whine his name pathetically. And then he begins to rub his palm against my clit with each movement of his hand, making me lose my mind, my mouth falling open as my head presses into his shoulder, back arching away from him.

I squirm between his legs, but he holds me in place, fingers continuing to thrust into me at a gradually quickening pace, whine after whimper slipping out from my lips as Jisung whispers filth into my ear. ‘Look at you, baby, grinding down on my hand. Feels good, huh?’ he asks in a cocky tone and, sure enough, when I force myself to open my eyes, I see that I’m grinding against his fingers unconsciously, each movement of my hips resulting in his hand brushing my clit and sending a gentle wave of pleasure through me. ‘So good, Jisung, so good. Want more,’ I whine, and he chuckles, pressing his lips to my neck and sucking the skin into his mouth, making my eyes flutter shut once again.

‘You want more? Don’t tempt me, angel, because I could give you a lot more right now. We’re taking it slow, remember?’ he whispers against my skin, but the words barely go in, my focus on unfamiliar feeling of my stomach tightening. ‘Jisung, I feel weird,’ I say, feeling nervous, and he lets out a gentle laugh against my neck. ‘You’re getting close to your orgasm, sweetheart,’ he tells me amusedly, the revelation making my eyes widen. I’ve never heard of a girl having an orgasm her first time. ‘Baby, you really thought I was gonna leave without making you cum a couple times? I’m not like those pathetic little human boys. I know how to make a girl feel good, angel, so good she’ll only ever want me. We’ll see how Sex God Seonghwa compares, huh?’ he laughs arrogantly, fingers beginning to pump in and out of me furiously fast, obscene squelching filling my ears along with my own high-pitched whimpers and moans.

‘I’m gonna…’ I breathe out between moans, clenching around his finger sporadically as my body twitches against his, and I can feel him grinning against my skin. ‘That’s a good girl, cum over my fingers for me, angel. It’s gonna feel so good, baby, just let go. Cum for me, y/n,’ he murmurs softly, voice just about discernible over my loud moaning, and when he begins rubbing at my clit with his free hand as he curls his fingers inside me, I feel the knot in my stomach undo itself.

I cry out his name as my vision blurs, walls clenching around his fingers and holding them in place with an iron-like grip. He works me through my orgasm with quick circles at my clit, lips sucking and biting at my skin, providing me with a gentle bliss in comparison to the intense pleasure burning low in my stomach. When I feel myself coming back down from my high, I let out a gentle sigh, body relaxing back into his, and he slowly pulls his hand from inside me. I crane my neck to watch as he lifts his hand to his mouth, slipping the fingers that were inside me into his mouth, eyes closing as he lets out a low groan. ‘You taste so sweet, even sweeter than you smell,’ he says once he’s pulled his fingers out of his mouth, sliding his arms around my body and pressing his lips to mine in a brief kiss.

‘How did I do?’ I ask, voice coming out a little quieter and hoarser than I expected, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘So well, angel. You took it so well. Like a pro,’ he says in a tender voice, holding me close in his arms, and I find it hard to believe this guy is a hard dom. He’s a total softie. ‘You did well too,’ I say to try and deflect from how I’m preening at the praise, and he laughs as though I’ve surprised it out of him.

‘No, don’t laugh! I’m being serious! You were super soft and gentle and nice to me,’ I tell him, and he nods, lips curled up with amusement. ‘It took a lot of self-restraint, believe me. If you weren’t so… fragile, and delicate, I’d have shoved my cock in you before you’d even finished cumming,’ he says, gentle tone a total contrast to the words that come out of his mouth, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure? You seem… relaxed. Not worked up at all,’ I say honestly, trying not to let on that I feel a little embarrassed about how calm he is (aren’t boys supposed to get all riled up and desperate the second they see your bra?), and he raises an eyebrow in return.

Without warning, he grinds against my back, and I feel something hard poke against me, making my eyes widen. ‘Does that feel like I’m relaxed, baby? Does that feel like I’m not worked up?’ he whispers, eyes flickering red, and I’m rendered speechless for a moment. He must have been so uncomfortable, pleasuring me whilst he was that hard in those tight jeans. ‘Let me help you,’ I breathe out, and his lips quirk up. ‘Help me?’ ‘Mmhmm. Tell me… tell me what to do. Wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel,’ I say softly, and he grins at me. ‘You’re so sweet, angel. I feel bad doing this with you. Feel like I’m… corrupting you. Tainting your pure soul,’ he murmurs, eyes flitting from my eyes to my lips and back up to my eyes, mouth curled at the corners as though he doesn’t feel as bad about it as he claims to. ‘Maybe I want you to… corrupt me, and taint me,’ I whisper, and his grin grows even wider, eyes flashing red and making my stomach turn. ‘Well, I suppose… your wish is my command, baby.’

I turn over and sit on my knees, eyes wandering down to between his legs, and the massive bulge in his jeans makes my heart stop for a moment, Jisung smirking at my reaction, leaning back against the headboard with his arms behind his head, as though he owns the place. I realise then that he’s expecting a blowjob that’s at least half decent, and I don’t know the first thing about giving a blowjob except for the fact that it goes into my mouth and I suck on it (I think?). ‘Want me to talk you through it, sweetheart?’ he asks, voice soft, and I know he can sense my uncertainty. He lets out a gentle chuckle when I nod, trying to hide my embarrassment.

‘Unzip my jeans, angel,’ he prompts, and I shuffle forward, slowly reaching for the zip on his jeans, and pulling it down carefully. He lifts his hips up from the bed, and I get the message, slipping my fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans, tugging them down along with his boxers, leaving them bunched at the tops of his thighs. My eyes widen when I see his cock, the long, thick length springing up against his clothed t-shirt, the tip red and swollen with small beads of precum leaking from it. I can feel his eyes on me, watching my reaction with thinly veiled amusement, and I try to hide my… surprise.

Every cock I’ve ever seen before has always been kinda ugly – all those unsolicited dick pics taken in shitty lighting with feet in the background always made me feel a little sick – but Jisung’s is… a little different. My mouth actually waters looking at it – it’s the most aesthetically pleasing dick I’ve ever seen. ‘Take it into your hand, sweetheart, and spread my precum over the tip so it’s not totally dry. Or the friction will hurt,’ he instructs in a gentle tone, as though he’s telling me the steps of a recipe or reading from the manual of an Ikea wardrobe.

I do as he says, taking his cock into my hands and using my thumb to spread around the precum, feeling a little bit of pride when his breath catches in his throat, his body tensing very slightly. ‘That’s it, that’s a good girl. Okay, now put the tip in your mouth, just swirl your tongue around it a little and suck on it,’ he says, and I nod, taking a deep breath before lowering my head to his cock. Yeji gave me some advice before leaving earlier, and so I do as she told me, pressing a kiss to the tip, and he lets out a shaky laugh, followed by, ‘you’re so fucking cute, baby.’

I take the swollen head of his cock into my mouth, his salty precum gliding across my taste buds as I slowly swirl my tongue around him like he’s a lollipop, before gently sucking. ‘Yeah, that’s it, angel, good job. Fuck, that feels nice,’ he murmurs, hands coming to tangle into my hair, pulling it back from my face. I carry on doing what I’m doing for a little while, his little sighs and shaky breaths making me feel like I must be doing it right, and then I look up at him for guidance on what to do next.

‘Lick underneath from the base to the tip – feels good on the vein,’ he says, sounding slightly breathless, and I’m surprised he’s so worked up from having a virgin suck on his cock for a few seconds. I do as he says, placing my tongue at the base of his dick and dragging it along the vein on the underside of his cock, and when I reach the tip, I kitten lick the slit where he’s leaking with precum. ‘Ah, shit, you’re good at this, baby. Sure you haven’t done it before?’ he asks, voice twisting into a groan when I sink my mouth onto him, sucking on the tip briefly before taking him back out with a pop.

‘My friend gave me some tips,’ I say, deciding not to tell him about how she demonstrated with a banana, and made me copy her. Yeah, it’d probably ruin the moment. ‘Good tips. You don’t even need me to talk you through it.’ ‘No, no, I do need you to!’ I say hastily, not wanting to be in the deep end without any arm bands, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Okay, okay. You gotta take me as far into your mouth as you can, angel, okay? Just wanna see how much you can take,’ he says gently, and I nod, readying myself as I duck my head. I take his tip into my mouth and slowly sink further down onto his length, until he hits the back of my throat. He’s so big, too big, and I feel like I’m suffocating, a gag forcing its way up my throat.

‘That’s not all you can take, is it, y/n? Come on, baby, surely you can do better than that?’ he teases as I try to stop myself from gagging again, and I realise that there’s still a few inches of him I haven’t managed to take in. ‘Take me out, sweetheart,’ he says, and relief floods through me, making me pull my mouth off him instantly, holding him with my fingertips as I gulp down air. ‘That’s it, take a nice, deep breath. Good girl. This time, breathe through your nose,’ he tells me, and I nod, preparing myself to take him into my mouth again.

I wrap my lips around his length and slide my mouth down onto him, desperately holding back a gag when he hits the back of my throat again. ‘Okay, good girl. Now swallow – it’ll let you take me further,’ he instructs, and I inhale deeply through my nose before swallowing, his tip inching down my throat. ‘Good job, baby, well done. You gonna suck for me, now?’ he asks, and I nod, sucking on his length and bobbing my head up and down like Yeji taught me, tugging on what I can’t fit into my mouth in my hands gently. ‘That’s it, angel – fuck, just like that,’ he urges, and I try my hardest to maintain eye contact with him, looking up through teary lashes.

I continue at a steady pace, gradually taking more of him in as my throat gets used to the intrusion, and I feel myself thinking that this isn’t… the most pleasant experience. I mean, I’m not getting much air, he’s tugging on my hair quite hard, his cock is so thick that my jaw is already starting to ache, and I feel a bit dirty with the way saliva drips down my chin. But his reactions make it all worth it. He lets out soft grunts and groans, the blood vessels in his neck protruding with the strain of holding himself back – I assume – and his head is thrown back against the headboard.

‘Ah, shit, you’re so good, baby. Feels so good,’ he groans, and I can feel that he’s slowly losing his resolve – his hips twitch every now and then, forcing him even further into my mouth, and his grip on my hair becomes harsher and harsher, his moaning becoming more and more frequent. I’m trying my best to keep up with him, keep him satisfied, but it’s clear he wants more. It’s only a matter of time before he takes control.

He grips onto the roots of my hair, hard, and he begins to thrust into my mouth. My eyes begin to water as he lets out curses and moans, hips bucking up frantically, and I try my hardest to throat him and hold back gags. He suddenly pulls out, and I take the moment to gasp for air, feeling him grinning at me. ‘That’s it, angel, breathe. Gonna fuck this pretty little mouth,’ he says, barely giving me a chance to do as he says before he pulls me back down onto his cock, the tip sliding against my tongue and hitting the back of my mouth harshly, a loud gag forcing its way up my throat as I look up at him, his eyebrow raised.

‘Come on, baby, you can take more than that. Can’t you?’ he asks amusedly, and I want nothing more than to please him, to impress him, and I try to hum out a response, the vibrations making him buck further into my throat with a low groan. ‘One tap on my thigh for yellow, two taps for green. Practice,’ he instructs, and I rush to do so, tapping once, and then tapping twice, before looking up at him for praise. ‘Good girl. Well done,’ he murmurs, pride swelling within me, and he takes the moment of me being distracted to start the onslaught on my mouth.

Using the hands tangled in my hair, he pushes my head down onto him, all the way so my nose hits his skin, and I choke around him as he thrusts in and out of my mouth, treating me like I’m just a hole for his pleasure. Maybe he’s not such a softie. ‘So good for me, baby, letting me fuck your mouth like this. Love hearing you choke on my cock,’ he groans, tears streaming down my face as I throat his entire length, nose hitting the soft skin of his groin with each of his thrusts, loud gags and chokes making their way out of my mouth every time he hits the back of my throat.

‘So pretty with my cock in your throat,’ he grunts, dick beginning to twitch in my mouth which, according to Yeji, means that he’s getting close, and I moan around him at his words, the vibrations making him moan out too, the sound heavenly. ‘Doing so well, sweetheart, taking me like such a good girl. You like choking on my cock, huh?’ he asks, and I realise that, yes, I do like it. It’s painful and I’m desperate for a deep breath, but listening to him moan makes me wanna suck his cock for hours on end. ‘Love it,’ I mumble around his cock, the words just about discernible, and he chuckles. ‘Gonna turn you into my little cock-hungry slut, always desperate to suck me. Is that what you want, angel? Wanna be my little cockslut?’ he asks, and I mindlessly moan at his words, arousal dripping out from me as I feel my head getting light with a lack of oxygen.

‘Shit, I’m close. Gonna let me cum in your mouth, sweetheart?’ he asks, and I hum out permission, his pace increasing again, and my neck hurts from the way he bobs my head up and down on him, my jaw also aching from the girth of his cock. His thrusts are becoming messy, hips jerking erratically as his cock twitches in my mouth, and I suddenly remember a piece of Yeji’s advice. I lift my hand from where it rests on the bed and reach for his balls, rolling them in my palm, playing with them to bring him to his edge. ‘Fuck, y/n, I’m gonna-’ he groans, words cut off with a loud moan as he pushes my head down onto his cock and cums, his hot and thick release hitting the back of my throat. He thrusts shallowly through his orgasm, my hand still playing with his balls, and it’s like he has an endless amount of cum, my mouth full of it when he pulls out, a little bit of it trickling down my chin.

‘Open your mouth,’ he says, and I tilt my head back slightly, opening my mouth to let him see his release. ‘And swallow it all for me.’ I let it glide across my taste buds, and it tastes… fruity, almost – a little hint of sweetness in it. I swallow it down in one big gulp and open my mouth to show him, a smug grin settling on his face. ‘Come here,’ he says, holding out his arms and I practically fall into them, letting him pull me against his chest. ‘You did such a good job, angel. I’m sorry for going so rough on you – I lost control a little bit – but you took it so well, baby,’ he says tenderly, hands rubbing soothing circles on my back through my dressing gown.

‘No, it’s okay. Don’t apologise. I… liked it,’ I say shyly, my voice very hoarse, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I know you did, sweetheart, I could smell you getting wetter and wetter the entire time. You can’t even smell it, but your scent is… fucking amazing. I felt drunk on it. The harder I went on you, the stronger your scent was, which made me go even harder. It was a vicious cycle,’ he says amusedly, and I giggle into his chest.

He holds me for a little while, my head buried in his chest and tucked beneath his chin, his hands drawing patterns on my back, and this intimacy I’ve never felt before is just so nice, but I feel myself getting a little… eager, and he must feel it too. ‘You want me to fuck you, baby? Or wanna wait a bit?’ he asks quietly, and I can’t answer quick enough; ‘want you to fuck me.’ ‘You do, huh? Is that how you ask?’ he teases, and I think for a moment before replying in a small voice, ‘please fuck me, Jisung. Just want you.’

‘So forward, angel,’ he murmurs, making me feel even more humiliated than I already am, my face heating up. ‘Don’t be embarrassed. I like you all needy and cute,’ he breathes out, hands coming to my dressing gown and pulling it off me. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he tells me, throwing the satin gown to the floor before he presses his lips to mine in a quick and hot kiss, lying me down so my head rests on the soft pillow. He climbs up from the bed and I can’t stop myself from watching as he quickly undresses himself, pulling his t-shirt over his head to reveal tan skin pulled tight over hard abs and biceps, and pushing his jeans down his legs to reveal smooth, lean legs. He keeps his underwear on, a grin on his face as he joins me on the bed, climbing over me.

His hands slip beneath my back, fingers coming to the clasp of my bra, and it snaps me into reality, making me panic. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful. Wanna see all of you… if you’ll let me. What’s your colour?’ he asks, and I hesitate. I could end this all now – surely I’ve got enough experience for Seonghwa, and he’ll probably be too drunk or high to even look at my body the way Jisung wants to. But I find myself wanting to. Not for the experience but… because it’s Jisung. I want him to see me, and I want to see him… feel him.

‘Green,’ I whisper, his lips curling into a grin as he unclasps my bra, helping me to pull it off. He throws it over his shoulder and doesn’t instantly ogle my chest as I expected, instead ducking his head to add to the marks that are already beginning to purple. He slowly kisses down to my chest, lips attaching to one hard nipple and sucking on it as he takes my other breast into his hand, alternating between tugging at the nipple and groping it gently. I let out gentle whines, his attention on my breasts making my head light, and he brings his mouth the other nipple, swapping his hand to spread the saliva he left behind across the soft flesh of my breast.

‘Such pretty tits, angel. Wanna worship your body,’ he murmurs as he leans back with an admiring gaze, my nipples hard and peaked in the cool air. ‘But that’ll have to wait. Wanna fuck you more,’ he grins, hands sliding down from my chest to my underwear, checking with me again that I’m okay with it. ‘You can take them off,’ I breathe out and he wastes no time before tugging them down. He runs his hands up my legs before slipping them between my thighs, slowly parting them with his eyes on me to watch my reactions, to make sure I’m okay. When I don’t react, his gaze flits to between my legs, eyes darkening.

‘Fuck, such a pretty little pussy. Soaking wet. So tiny, and tight. How am I gonna fit in you, baby?’ he muses teasingly, and I feel desperation seeping into me, my hands reaching down to his and guiding them towards where I need him. ‘Please. Need it, Jisung, please,’ I whimper pathetically, and he lets out a gentle laugh, warm breath fanning across my stomach. ‘What do you need, y/n?’ he asks, and I whine, too embarrassed to say the words. His fingers appear at my folds, gliding between them and gathering up my arousal before he pushes two in, making me moan with the stretch. ‘I asked you what you need, angel,’ he prompts, voice less light, and I whimper as he scissors his fingers inside me, trying to loosen me. ‘Please, Jisung, want you to fuck me. Wanna feel your cock in me, want you to stretch me out, make me cum,’ I mumble distractedly, saying what I need to say to get what I want, and I hear him take a shaky breath.

‘Dirty girl. Pretended to be so innocent when you’re really a dirty little slut desperate for cock, huh? So desperate for Sex God Seonghwa’s cock that you’ll lose your virginity demon. Such a little whore,’ he murmurs, and even though his words should hurt, all I can do is moan, feeling more arousal gush out around his fingers. ‘You really want me to fuck you? Little angel wants a good fucking?’ he teases, the pace of his fingers thrusting into me quickening, and my hips buck up against him as I whine, ‘yes, want it, Jisung, want it so bad.’

‘Want me to stuff my fat cock into this little virgin cunt? Stretch out your tight little pussy, fuck you so hard you can’t walk, fill you up with my cum?’ he asks, voice strained as he fucks his fingers into me, and I squirm on the bed desperately, needing to feel him. ‘Yes, Jisung, please, want it so bad,’ I whimper pathetically, and he pulls his fingers out of me, lifting them to his fingers and licking them clean, making my stomach turn with arousal. ‘Not as much of an angel as I thought,’ he considers with a small smirk, eyes trawling over my body indulgently as I lie there, on display for him.

He climbs over me, pushing down his boxers and tugging on his length with one hand, anticipation filling me. ‘Legs around my waist, sweetheart,’ he murmurs, suddenly nice again, and I do so, hooking them together at the ankles, giving him full access to my core. ‘Ready? It might hurt a little, okay, so use your colours if you need to, angel,’ he says tenderly, and I nod, feeling a little bit of anxiety grow in my chest.

He runs the tip of his rock hard cock up and down my folds teasingly, spreading his precum over me, before he slowly pushes in. I try my hardest to stay quiet, to brave the pain of the burning stretch, but I can’t help the little yelp that escapes my lips. ‘You okay?’ ‘Hurts, Jisung,’ I whisper, tears appearing in my eyes, and his face softens. ‘The tip’s the worst bit, angel, and it’s nearly in. Want me to hold on a minute?’ he asks, and I think before shaking my head. ‘It’s okay, you can… go all the way in,’ I say gently, and he gives me a gentle smile, ducking his head to my collarbones to press soothing kisses on my skin as he pushes further in. I whimper in pain, tears sliding down my face, because it hurts, so fucking bad. My walls are clenching around him, desperately trying to get his cock out of me, and my head is starting to get a little dizzy with the pain, crying audibly now as I clutch onto his strong back.

‘You’re doing so well, angel, so fucking well. Colour?’ he asks, and I sob out, ‘yellow.’ He instantly stops moving and I try my best to stop clenching around him, eventually becoming used to the stretch as my walls relax a little, Jisung kissing away my tears and whispering gentle praise against my skin. ‘Okay, green. You can move now,’ I breathe out, voice hoarse and he presses a little kiss to my lips. ‘Good girl. I’m nearly in. But don’t look. Just trust me,’ he says quickly, and I raise an eyebrow at him. ‘How much left?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘About half,’ he replies, and I feel my face fall as he sighs. ‘We can sto-’ ‘No, no. I want it. Want you,’ I whisper, and he nods with a small smile.

He suddenly slips two fingers into my mouth, making me look at him in confusion. ‘Suck on my fingers to distract you from the pain,’ he says, and I nod, doing as he says and tasting something sweet on his skin, realising with a start that it’s my own arousal I can taste. He begins pushing further in, slowly, and it doesn’t hurt as much now, the stretch only burning a little. I can feel it when he bottoms out, a sigh of relief escaping my lips, and he grins at me. ‘You’ve done so well, angel, I’m so proud of you. Tell me when I can move,’ he says, and I nod, taking a few deep breaths. It takes a little while to get used to being so full, and arousal suddenly fills me at the thought that he’s buried in me balls-deep, my walls clenching tightly around him.

I don’t realise the effect it’s having on him until he speaks, taking me by surprise. ‘Fuck, y/n, you gotta stop clenching around me. Gonna make me cum quick like I’m the fucking virgin here. Can I- fuck, I gotta move. Can I move? Need to fuck you,’ he pleads, voice strained, his head resting on my shoulder and his hand digging into my waist, and I’m shocked at how… submissive he sounds, begging me to fuck me. He’s got all the power here – he could fuck me dumb right now – but he’s asking me for permission. It’s so hot that I nearly moan out at his words, pussy gushing with arousal. ‘Yes, you can move, please. Fuck, please move,’ I whimper around his fingers, the words coming out all garbled, and I’m so desperate for him now.

He removes his fingers from my mouth, both hands digging into my waist now, and he doesn’t waste much time before pulling out slightly and rolling his hips against mine, making me let out a moan of his name. I can sense he’s restraining himself – opting to thrust shallowly rather than slamming into me as I’d expected him to do – and it seems it’s taking every inch of his self-control to do so, his entire body tensed and little grunts falling from his lips. ‘You’re so fucking tight, angel. Wanna pound your tight little virgin cunt,’ he groans, and my head falls back against the pillow. ‘Do it, please. Want you to ruin me,’ I beg, and he lets out a strangled moan. ‘Use your colours if it’s too much,’ he forces out, waiting for the reply with a small, ‘okay’ before he loses himself.

He pulls all the way out of me before slamming back in, my mouth falling open in a silent scream as he lets out a moan of my name. He sets a bruisingly fast pace, the bed hitting the wall loudly with each of his thrusts. ‘So fucking tight around me. Gonna stretch out this tiny little cunt, gonna make you my little cockslut,’ he growls, forcing the words out with effort, his energy being taken up by thrusting into me, and it’s the most painful pleasure I’ve ever felt. I’m rendered speechless, unable to make a noise other than the little breaths that escape my lips, not even having enough sanity to moan for him.

One of his hands comes to my throat, roughly squeezing my airways and cutting off my breathing, making me choke and gasp as he hammers into me, heavy balls slapping against my damp skin. My nails dig hard into the skin of his back, the soreness between my legs slowly melting away into unadulterated pleasure, tears dripping down my face as a release for how overwhelmed I am. ‘Fuck, need to go deeper,’ he grunts, grabbing one of my legs and moving it between our bodies, the ankle resting on his shoulder, and this new angle allows him to go even deeper, brushing against the spongy spot inside me and making me let out a loud shriek of his name.

‘Found your voice, angel? Thought I’d fucked you stupid. But my good little slut can handle it, right? You can take my cock in this tiny virgin pussy, can’t you, baby?’ he growls, and my eyes roll back at the feeling of his cock dragging against my walls deliciously. Obscene squelching and skin slapping against skin fills the room along with my moans and whimpers, and his grunts and groans, the smell of sex heavy on the air as he abuses my pussy, the pleasure that’s coursing through my veins drowning out the pain of how much my body is straining to accommodate him.

‘Fucking gushing around me. Soaking my cock little a good little slut. Bet you’ve dreamed of being fucked like this, huh? Tried to fill your little pussy with your fingers, imagining yourself as a desperate little whore stuffed with a fat cock? Am I right, angel? Not as innocent as you pretend to be, huh? Just needed someone to come corrupt you,’ he growls against my ear, cock hammering into me relentlessly, my walls clenching around him as he lowers his mouth to my neck, kissing beneath where his hand is still gripping me tightly, my head light with the lack of air. He obviously takes my unrestrained moaning as an answer, pushing me down into the mattress and pounding into me bruisingly hard.

‘So fucking tight around me, baby, I can’t cope. Wanna stay buried in this tiny little pussy forever. Scream out my name, angel. Let everyone in your block know how good I’m making you feel, how hard I’m fucking your tight cunt. Let them know you’re not the pure little girl you claim to be,’ he growls, loosening his hold on my throat, and I can’t help but do as he says, crying his name repeatedly like a mantra. I can feel the knot in my stomach tightening again, knowing my orgasm is approaching again, my walls clenching around him and my nails raking down his back viciously. ‘You’re close, huh, angel? You gonna cum for me? Gonna soak my cock like a good little slut? Come on, baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock,’ he prompts, hand snaking down to rub at my clit, and when he hits the spot inside me head-on, I reach my high.

I scream out his name, so loud and raw that it feels like it’s being torn out of my throat, my own voice filling my ears as I cum around him, walls clenched around him so tightly that he can’t move, and so he rubs at my clit to prolong my orgasm, release gushing out around him. White hot bliss courses through me, my vision completely blurring as tears stream down my face, mouth hanging open as I rake my nails down his back, breaking the skin.

When I finally begin coming down from an intense high, my walls loosening around him, he starts to chase his own high, no concern for me beneath him. He slams into me, again and again, the bed probably denting the wall, and I feel overstimulation setting in, making me sob as I thrash beneath him. But he doesn’t care, one hand pressing into the bed and the other reappearing at my neck, pushing me down into the mattress as he fucks into me, grunts and groans falling from his lips, and when my vision finally clears, I nearly cum again at the sight of him.

His blond hair is stuck to his forehead with sweat, his skin drenched with perspiration, a glistening honey colour, mouth open and letting out whispers of my name, lips swollen and shining. His eyes are glowing red, blood red, and his face is flushed, contorted with pleasure. His biceps ripples with the effort of thrusting into me, desperate whines escaping his lips as he chases his high, body tensed and strong. He looks like sin incarnate.

He’s nearing his orgasm, I think – his dick is twitching inside me, and I tighten around him, his hips stuttering with erratic thrusts. ‘Fuck, angel, I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum in your tight little pussy! So good for me, baby, so good,’ he moans loudly, making my lips curl proudly, before he buries himself deep in me, head dropping to my neck as he lets out a cry of, ‘shit, y/n, I’m gonna cum!’ He bites down on my skin as he cums, his thick release painting my insides. And there’s so much of it, an endless amount of cum flooding into me, and my sensitive walls fluttering around him help prolong his high, milking his cock for all he has as he whines desperately, thrusting shallowly.

Once he’s done, he pulls his softened cock out of me, looking down at me with concern all over his face. His eyes have returned to their warm chocolate brown, and they’re full of worry. ‘I’m so sorry, y/n, I wasn’t supposed to be that rough. Are you okay?’ he asks, and I just smile tiredly. ‘I’m fine, Jisung. I would’ve stopped you if it was too much, but it was perfect,’ I reply, a yawn interrupting my last few words, and he heaves a sigh of relief. ‘If you say so, angel. But still, I shouldn’t have been that rough. Hyunjin’s gonna kill me,’ he mutters before leaning down to press a kiss to my sore lips.

‘Right, let’s clean you up,’ he murmurs, and I’m already half asleep when he climbs off me, pulling his underwear back up over his cock. He scoops me up into his arms, carrying me to the bathroom, and he makes me do a wee first, so I don’t get a UTI. I nearly fall asleep on the toilet. Then he carries me back into bed and cleans over my whole body with a soft towel, soaking up all the tears and sweat and cum.

‘You’ve done so well, angel, such a good job. You can sleep now,’ he whispers as he pulls the covers over me, but I grab his hand when he turns to leave, barely able to keep my eyes open enough to look at him. ‘Are you leaving?’ I mumble, and he lets out a soft laughs. ‘Why? Want me to stay?’ ‘Yes. Please,’ I breathe out with the last bit of energy I have, and he sighs gently, hesitating before he climbs into bed with me. I instantly curl into him and he chuckles, pulling me into his arms. I just about feel the kiss he presses to my forehead before I drift off to sleep.

[thebadgerclan]

Captivity

Pairing: Severus Snape x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: His worst nightmare was coming true...

A/N: Set during the Deathly Hallows

I really enjoyed working on this, it might be one of my favorite things I’ve written 

His worst nightmare was playing out before his eyes.  In Severus’ hands was a photograph of you, his beloved wife, arms bound behind you, clothes dirty and torn, and eyes petrified.  The photo came in a letter that was on his nightstand this morning.  Severus, I may be old, but I am not stupid.  I know that you have been giving information to Dumbledore’s Order, I know that you have been acting as a double agent, and I know that you plan to continue to do so.  This cannot continue.  But rather than kill you, as I would so love to do, I have done something that I believe will be far more effective.

Your darling Y/N, the filthy mudblood that she is, is now under the careful watch of Bellatrix.  She has tried to escape only twice, the first time I took her wand, and the second  I gave her that lovely bruise you’ll see in the photograph I’ve enclosed.  Now, Severus, I give you a simple choice: You swear your allegiance to me, and your wife will be spared.  Refuse, and I kill her.  I expect you at the Manor at 8 o’clock exactly this coming Wednesday.  If you do not appear before me, Y/N’s head will be the next parcel you receive from me.

He gave himself only 10 minutes to break down, screaming and sobbing at the top of his lungs.  You were with Voldemort, you were essentially a prisoner.  He would kill you if Severus stepped out if line again, this was certain.  When the 10 minutes was up, Severus got to his feet, washed his face, and stood up straight.  Tomorrow, he would appear before Voldemort tomorrow, and he would do what he had to do.  He would renounce Dumbledore and swear his allegiance to the Dark Lord.

***

Severus had done this hundreds of times, but tonight, his heart was in his throat.  As he always did, he bowed deeply before Voldemort, kissing the hem of his robes.  “Rise, my friend,” the Dark Lord hissed, and Severus obeyed.  “I must confess, I was fearful I would not see you here tonight.”  “No, My Lord,” he said, preparing to grovel.  “I have made a grievous error, My Lord, and I cannot express my sorrow enough.  I swear to you tonight that I renounce Dumbledore, his Order, and everything they stand for.  I am your loyal servant, My Lord, until I die.”

Voldemort stood, and Severus fought the urge to shy away.  “There is something else you wish to add.  Say it.”  He breathed deeply.  “My Lord, if I may, I have a few conditions pertaining to my wife.”  Voldemort barked with laughter, and Severus braced for the Cruciatus.  “Ahh, Severus, Ever the romantic.  Fine, tell me what it is you wish.”  “I ask that Y/N is not harmed.  She has done nothing and does not deserve to be treated with cruelty.  And, if it is at all possible, may I see her?”

Silence met him, and he once more braced for pain.  But Voldemort touched Severus’ shoulder, surprisingly tender.  “Severus, my friend, I have always held you in such high regard.  If it were anyone else, they would be dead for simply asking.  But, I truly believe that you are loyal.  Wormtail, fetch her.”  The mouse of a man scampered out of the room, and Severus sighed in relief.  “Thank you, My Lord, you are most generous and kind.”

Moments later, Wormtail returned with you stumbling behind him.  You were thinner than Severus had last seen, though it had only been days, there were bags under your eyes and your hair was tangled.  You looked around the room fearfully, and Severus’ heart shattered.  “S-Severus?”  You made to run to him, but you cried out and fell to the floor.  “We have discussed this, Y/N,” Voldemort chided, his wand still pointed at you.  “I apologize, My Lord.”  “Very well.  Now, Severus, you see your wife is unharmed and well.  However, she will not be released back to you.”

“My Lord?”  “Oh honestly, Severus.  You couldn’t have thought I would cave so easily.  No, she will remain here until the war is over or your loyalties have been truly proven.”  He wanted to scream, to fight for you, but he knew that Voldemort could kill him with a mere thought, so he bowed.  “Of course, My Lord.”  Voldemort snapped his fingers at Wormtail.  “Take her.”  Wormtail grabbed your arms and began dragging you from the room.  “Severus!” you screamed, fighting with every ounce of your strength.  “Severus, please!  Severus!”  His heart shattered more than it already was.  He wanted to run after you, to hold you close and tell you it would be alright.  But he couldn’t.

***

Weeks passed.  Every day was the same.  Severus would terrorize the students and worship the Dark Lord by day, and cry himself to sleep, clutching a picture of you by night.  His life was hell, and the worst part was there was no way out of it.  If Seveus tried to help you escape, Voldemort would kill you.  If he asked the Order for help, Voldemort would kill you.  There was no feasible option that didn’t result in yours or Severus’ death.  So he went through the motions, numb to any emotion except pain.  

The best days, oddly enough, were those when he was Called.  On those days, Severus was gifted a glimpse of you.  A few moments to look at you, to reassure himself that you were alive.  Not quite healthy, but alive.  Severus was forbidden to speak to you, but seeing you was enough; barely enough to satiate his starvation for you, but it was something.  It seemed Voldemort was treating you well enough: there were no visible bruises or wounds, and you seemed well fed.  Severus could only hope that was true.

Then, a month after you’d been taken, the world flipped upside down.  Potter was at Hogwarts, and Voldemort arrived soon after.  The castle was in ruins, flames licking at the tallest towers.  When Severus saw Voldemort’s body, his first thought was of you.  You were alive, he was certain, Voldemort would have taunted him if he’d have killed you.  The composure that Severus had held for the past month snapped, and he took off running.

“Y/N!” he screamed as he ran over the grounds.  “Y/N!  Y/N, where are you?  Y/N, please!  I’m here!  Y/N!”  He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, in and out of the crumbling castle, around the lake, and finally, he reached the boat house.  “Y/N,” he breathed.  There you were, curled in on yourself, rocking back and forth.  You startled upon hearing his voice, looking at Severus with wide, fearful eyes.

“You’re not real,” was the first thing you said, the first words he’d heard you say in a month.  “This isn’t real.  No, no, no…”  Severus moved slowly, keeping his hands in your view.  Though Voldemort said he was treating you well, Severus wasn’t entirely convinced that was true.  He crouched before you, inches from you.  “Y/N, my love, look at me.”  You did, eyes wide.  “This is real, Voldemort is dead, the war is over, and I am here.  Can you repeat that back to me.”

You shook your head, eyes squeezed shut.  “Can you give me your hand, love?”  To his surprise, you did.  Perhaps you were so desperate to believe he was really there.  Severus gently took your hand and pressed it to his chest.  Feeling his heartbeat, your expression softened into one of realization and slight shock.  “Severus?”  “Yes, my darling, I’m here.  Now, can you repeat after me: This is real, Voldemort is dead, the war is over, and I am here?”

“This is real,” you began, speaking slowly.  “V-Voldemort is dead, the war is over, and you are here.”  “Good,” Severus praised, kissing your hand.  “Good, Y/N.”  Tears were forming, or rather, the tears that were there when he found you began to spill.  Severus wanted so badly to reach out and hold you, but he was unsure if you wanted or were ready for that.  “Can I touch you, Y/N?”  You didn’t answer, you flung yourself into his lap, burying your face in his chest and sobbing.

Severus wrapped his arms tightly around you, rocking you back and forth gently.  “Shhh, I’ve got you, I’m right here, Y/N.  You’re safe now, love, I’m here.”  You cried for a long time, tears soaking his shirt, before lifting your face.  “I was so afraid,” you began.  “That I’d never see you again.  That they’d kill me, or kill you, or both.  That they’d torture me.  B-Bellatrix, she-”  You broke off, swallowing more tears.  “She never left me alone.  She was always with me, taunting me.”

Severus smoothed your hair, kissing your forehead.  “She’s dead too,” he said, needing to reassure you.  “Molly killed her.  She’s dead and she’ll never hurt you again.”  Severus held you for another few moments before he spoke.  “We need to get you to Madam Pomfrey, Y/N.”  He got to his feet, and you held onto his even tighter.  “It’s alright, I’m not going anywhere.  We’re going to see Madam Pomfrey, that’s it.”

The sun was peeking over the horizon, a new dawn rising in more ways than one.  The matron was set up in the Great Hall, and on your way there, you caught a glimpse of Voldemort’s corpse, a few crows already hanging around.  “Yes,” Severus said before you could ask.  “He is dead.  This is real, Y/N.  No one can hurt you any more.”  When Severus laid you down on a cot, you gripped his hand so tightly it hurt.  “Please don’t go,” you said.  Severus sat on the floor next to your cot, kissing your forehead.  “I’m right here, love.”

Madam Pomfrey examined you, deeming that you physically well enough, but that the month spent in Voldemort’s captivity had done damage to your mental health.  She gave Severus some tips on how to help a loved one with trauma and recommended a mind-healer before moving on to other patients.  Severus moved onto the cot and pulled you back into his lap, gently turning your face to his.

“Can I kiss you?”  You nodded, and when you spoke, your words were shaky.  “Please.”  Severus leaned forward, lips soft and gentle against yours.  His hand came to rest on your neck, his arm wound around your middle.  “I love you,” he said against your lips.  “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much, Y/N.  I’m so sorry that this happened, and I promise I will never let anything happen to you ever again.  I will protect you, my love.”  “I love you too, Sev.  I love you more than anything.”  As the sun rose, you stayed in Severus’ arms, never wanting to leave them again.  And you knew, deep in your heart, that you never had to, that you were safe now, that Severus would keep you safe.  Forever.

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 10

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1801

Rating:  E

Warnings: pregnancy

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 10

The tabloid sites all latched on to the story of you being pregnant very quickly.  Due to the fact you were often seen out with either Bucky or Steve or both, there had been speculation about who exactly you were.  Theories went from dating one and cheating on them with the other.  Being a ‘close family friend’.  Dating one and the other being a close friend.  Bouncing between them both like a ping-pong ball.  Many fans speculated that they were polyamorous.  Bucky had even made the mistake of going deep into the ‘Avengers fandom’ and discovered people doing what they called ‘shipping’ the three of you together.  Not just the three of you but him and Steve with all kinds of people.  He’d stopped looking when he saw people writing stories about him and Tony together.  It turned out there were things he was better off not knowing.

None of the tabloids ever assumed polyamory though, and neither he nor Steve was going to confirm it for them.  That made your pregnancy the subject of a lot of speculation.  Whose baby was it?  The most loved version of the story was that it was Bucky’s love child conceived while you were cheating on Steve with him.

It was a little stressful, but Bucky had heard worse.  There was still a vocal majority that considered him a threat that should have been tried for his crimes years ago.  Bucky had learned a long time ago not to google himself unless he was feeling particularly self-destructive.  You, on the other hand, were still learning, so it took some reassuring that this matter was no one else's business.

Besides the ever-present gossip mill, things were going well.  Every doctor's appointment showed that the baby was developing well.  All the tests you had were coming back fine.  You seemed to be full of energy and Geo was starting to get excited about the idea of having a little brother or sister.  The new place was nearly finished.  Bucky hadn’t been sent on a mission for a long time.  He felt happy - and that was a feeling he liked to experience as fully as he could because he knew from experience how fleeting it could be.

The three of you had decided to take Geo along to the ultrasound where you’d be finding out the sex.  He had only seen pictures of the baby so far and you’d thought he might like to see them moving around and find out if he was having a brother or a sister.  According to you, the baby was kicking a lot at the moment, so you weren't worried about bad news being delivered.

Geo sat on Bucky’s lap while Steve sat beside you, holding your hand as the technician squeeze the gel onto your stomach.  “Have they been kicking much?”  Brown asked as she began to move the wand around on your stomach.  Bucky looked up at the screen, waiting for the baby to come into view.

You smiled and nodded.  “So much.  The little nugget is going to be a fighter.”

Brown smiled.  “Just like it’s dads, huh?”  She said.  “Has anyone else felt the kicks?”

“Not yet,” Steve answered.  “I can’t wait though.”

The baby came into view on the screen.  You’d been getting pretty regular ultrasounds with your checkups and Bucky liked how the little blob was getting bigger and looking more like a baby every time.  “It shouldn’t be too much longer.  I’d bet by the end of the week you get a little flutter against your hand.”

Steve looked at Bucky and grinned and Bucky couldn’t help but lean over and peck his lips.  Geo didn’t seem that happy with the action and he wriggled in Bucky’s lap.  Bucky chuckled and pulled back.  “Can you see the baby, G?”  He asked, pointing at the screen.

Geo nodded.  “The machine is really cool how it works.  It’s using sound to make the shape of the baby inside mom.”

“That’s right,” Brown said.  “You’re a smart kid.”

Geo looked up at Bucky and grinned obviously very proud of himself.  Bucky smiled and ruffled his hair.

“If you see here,” Brown said.  “This is the baby's head, and their spine.  They have hands and feet and you can even see their toes and fingers…”

Geo watched on fascinated by the digital image of his new sibling.  Not just because that was his new sibling, but because he had a scientific fascination with where it was developmentally and how the machines could show what they show.  He asked lots of questions about whether it could hear or see and how it absorbed food.  Bucky couldn’t really remember what kids were like, and so he had no idea if this was advance thinking for a seven-year-old or not.  He felt like it was advanced though, and he made a mental note to ask you later.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”  Geo asked.

“I can find out,” the tech said.  “Is that okay, Captain Rogers?”

Steve chuckled.  “It’s not just my decision to make.”

Brown hid her face behind her hands for a moment and shook her head.  “I’m so sorry, that is such a default reaction.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said.  “Please just relax.  We’re just patients.  And yes, we already decided we wanted to find out.”

She moved the wand around to get it into position.  “Well, bud,” Brown said.  “Did you have a preference?”

“I dunno,” Geo said.  “I don’t have either.”

“Well you don’t have a brother,” Brown said.  “You’re going to have a little sister.”

“It’s a girl?”  Bucky asked, looking over at you and Steve to see your reactions.  Steve looked like he’d been lit up from the inside, and tears had pricked your eyes.

“That’s right.  It’s a girl,” Brown confirmed.

“A little girl,” Steve said, softly.

“Now we have one of each,” Bucky said, and Geo turned around on Bucky’s lap and hugged him.  Bucky closed his arms around the boy, hugging him tightly.  “You’re gonna be such a good big brother,” Bucky whispered as he hugged the boy.

“Do you want any pictures this time?”  Brown asked.

“Yes, please,” you said, quickly.

Brown cleaned off the paddle and pressed the button to print out the photos of the baby.  You grabbed some kleenex from the counter and cleaned the gel off your stomach.  “You think Morgan will be excited there’s going to be another little girl around?”  Steve asked Geo.

“Probably,” Geo said.  “As long as she likes robots too.  Umm… you think the baby will be able to talk to the computers like I can?”

Steve furrowed his brow as he helped you up.  Bucky shook his head to clear it.  It was strange, despite the fact that Geo had powers that he’d clearly gotten from you, and the fact both he and Steve had the Super Serum, the thought of a super-powered baby had never really crossed their minds.  It was like all that was just such a normal part of their lives now, they didn’t really think about how it impacted things.  You didn’t have powers and it was possible the only reason Geo did was that both you and his father had been through experimentation so close to his conception.  It could be that those drugs were now completely out of your system, but no one had thought to look into that first.

“You know what?”  Steve said eventually.  “I don’t know.”

“Probably should have considered that before we dived in with both feet, huh?” You said.

“You could ask your obstetrician about doing an amniocentesis,” Brown suggested.  “Then they could do a genetic workup.  Check for abnormalities.”

“Don’t they have risks involved?”  You asked.

“Sure, but normally it’s one of those things where there are risks involved either way, and you decide which outcome is worse,” Brown explained.

You furrowed your brow and nodded and Bucky wondered what you were thinking.  “Thank you, Miss Brown,” Steve said.  “We’ll see you next time.”

“Of course,” she said, brightly.  “See you.”

The four of you walked out into the ward and headed to the elevator.  “I’m sorry if I upset you,” Geo said as the doors opened.

“You didn’t, G.  Don’t worry,” you assured him, kissing the top of his head.  “It’s just not something we thought about when we probably should have.  Because you got your powers from me and your birth dad, but Bucky and Steve have their own powers.”

“Well, we’re enhanced,” Steve corrected them.  “Not the same as what you have.”

“I think…” Bucky said slowly, aware that this was not a discussion that should be held in front of Geo, but also knowing that the boy needed to be reassured that his powers were not a negative, nor would he be losing the sister he really only just met.  “I think it might be too late to worry about.  I mean… what if they do find out the baby is enhanced?  It’s not like we would love them any less, or not want them.  They’d just be special, like Geo.”

“Of course,” you said quickly.  “We would have done this either way I think.”

“So… let’s just wait and see.  We don’t want to risk anything bad happening,” Bucky said.  “The baby looks normal, so we know it’s not a tentacle beast.”

Geo started laughing.  “That would be so cool.”

“She might not be able to talk to computers even if she does have powers though, G,” you said, stifling your own laugh. “When I had powers I could hear people’s thoughts.  And your dad, he could run really fast.”

“Wow,” Geo said. “I hope she can fly.”

“Oh my goodness,” you said.  “I don’t.”

“Yeah, imagine having to change a diaper on a baby and it’s zooming around over your head,” Bucky said, making Geo breakdown into fits of giggles.

“Alright, Geo,” Steve said.  ��You go wash up and we’ll have some lunch.  Do you want to see if Morgan can come to play and you can tell her all about your sister?”

“Yeah, alright,” Geo said, running off to the bathroom.

Steve turned to you and Bucky and took your hands.  “It’s going to be fine,” he said.  “We can face whatever happens, I know we can.”

“Let’s just hope they can’t fly,” you joked.

“We’ll handle that too,” Steve said.

“Yeah, we’ll put a little harness on them, and weigh them down with rocks,” Bucky joked and you burst out laughing.

Steve wrapped his arms around you and pulled Bucky in close so that all three of you were holding each other.  Bucky closed his eyes and breathed you both in, confident that together, you could all handle whatever powers she may or may not have.

// NEXT

[bytheangell]

Hello!! Can I request a Thomastair based on the song, Be Kind by Halsey and Marshmallow? ❤ I loved your fic, Progress is a Process btw.

The Push and Pull of Kindness  (Read on AO3)

Thomas wants to believe the best in Alastair, he really, truly does. Despite Alastair’s own actions in the past and the grudges held against him by Matthew and James, Thomas tries his best to be there for him. Thomas can tell that Alastair needs support right now even if he won’t admit it.

See, Alastair confided in Thomas about Charles. Thomas wonders if he’s the only one Alastair told because Thomas can see the way Alastair avoids Charles now and notices the pointed way Charles looks everywhere but at Alastair when addressing them in group settings…. But he thinks he’s the only one who notices. Maybe he’s just the only one who cares enough to look.

“Hey,” Thomas says, catching up with Alastair before he can leave. They held a short meeting at the Institute that Charles was present at, and though he put on a brave face Thomas saw how upset Alastair was as he turned to leave the first chance he got. “Alastair, wait.”

“I’m in a hurry, Thomas,” Alastair says quickly, not pausing.

“I can see that. And I get it. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Thomas manages to say, a bit out of breath from needing to practically run to catch up to Alastair.

“I’m fine,” Alastair says, the words short and empty.

“You’re not,” Thomas insists.

“Then why ask if you already know the answer,” Alastair snaps, stopping to round on Thomas accusingly. There’s heat in his eyes but Thomas instinctively knows it’s not really aimed at him, even as their gazes lock.

“Because I hoped you’d be honest with me,” Thomas admits. “I thought… maybe you’d want someone to talk to.”

“I-,” Alastair starts, and for a fleeting moment of hope, Thomas thinks he’ll agree. Then just as quickly Alastair’s gaze shifts to a spot over Thomas’ shoulder. “I don’t. Go back to your friends, Lightwood.”

Alastair’s cold tone feels like a slap, as does the use of his last name. Thomas wonders if he means it or if he’s just saying it for Thomas’ benefit, so Matthew and James don’t give him a hard time for talking with Alastair.

“I don’t care what they think,” Thomas says quietly. “You know that, don’t you? If you need someone, even just a friend, I’ll be there. Just say the word.”

“I’m fine,” Alastair insists one last time, before turning and walking away.

Thomas watches him leave with a sigh before heading back to his friends. They’ve gotten better at not poking Thomas about his friendship with Alastair, even though they dislike it. Thomas does his best not to glare daggers at Charles, trying not to make it obvious what he and Alastair were discussing, and suggests they leave before he does something foolish.

After that meeting, Thomas goes out of his way to talk to Alastair every day, no matter how often Alastair shuts down any attempt at a serious conversation. He volunteers to deliver messages to the Carstairs family whenever possible in the hopes that Alastair will be the one who answers the door, just to see him. He even bribes Mr. Herondale to put them on the same patrol rotations.

It takes a bit of wearing down, but soon Alastair is beginning to open up to him. Their conversations grow easier and easier until it feels a bit like Paris all over again with the startling simplicity of how well they seem to fit. Thomas wants them to be something more than friends, but he doesn’t push it. Right now, Alastair just needs someone on his side, someone he can trust, and Thomas is more than happy to be that person for him.

The only issue is that Alastair refuses to talk about anything serious or meaningful. Any time the topic shifts to Charles or something else Thomas thinks is bothering Alastair, Alastair changes the subject to local demon activity, or the plot of the latest book he’s reading, or something safe. They’re getting along great, but it’s entirely superficial, and it’s more than a little frustrating.

Still, everything is going well enough until the day of Cordelia and James’ engagement party when Matthew tells him the truth about the rumors started about their parents. The rumors Alastair started. Thomas doesn’t want to believe it, and even when he knows it's true there’s a part of him that still wants to talk to Alastair about it.

Except, he thinks to himself bitterly in his anger, what good is talking when he obviously can’t trust Alastair to be forthright with him? And it isn’t as if Alastair is willing to discuss anything serious with him, and this? This is as serious as it gets. This is his family.

So Thomas allows his frustrations to get the better of him.

Perhaps threatening to punch Alastair if he ever approaches him or his friends is a bit overkill, but Thomas thinks that after a betrayal of this magnitude he deserves a bit of dramatics. Instead of feeling satisfied when he spots Alastair turning with shimmering eyes to leave the party, however, all Thomas feels is worse.

He continues to feel worse the next day, and the day after that. He can’t even ignore the pain Alastair is obviously in because Matthew points it out at every turn to revel in it, noting when Alastair skips training and rearranges his patrols to be alone or with Cordelia instead of any of them.

Finally, a week after the last time he spoke to Alastair, Thomas manages to pull Cordelia aside.

“I wanted to ask after Alastair,” he says, doing his best to sound casual.

Cordelia, to his surprise, smiles. “That’s interesting,” she says. “Because he asked after you just yesterday.”

Thomas tries not to show how secretly glad he is to hear that. “Oh?”

“And it seems to me that perhaps the two of you should simply ask one another,” Cordelia continues pointedly.

Thomas looks guilty, and more than a little embarrassed.

“I’m afraid I ruined any chance of that,” Thomas admits.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Cordelia replies. “Mother will be out after noon tomorrow, and if you happen to come by I’ll make sure my brother answers the door.”

With that, Cordelia heads back to the others, leaving Thomas to debate his plans for the following day.

---

Thomas knocks at the door and waits. The longer the knock goes unanswered the more he worries that maybe Cordelia told Alastair he was coming and this is Alastair intentionally avoiding him. Perhaps he could knock again, or maybe he should just leave, or--

Alastair opens the door, takes one glance at Thomas, and looks as if he’s about to shut it in his face a moment later. He doesn’t, to Thomas’ relief.

“Cordelia is busy at the moment,” Alastair says instead, his tone cold. “But you can come in and wait if you must”

“Actually,” Thomas says, fidgeting a bit with the hem of his sleeve. “I’m here to speak with you. If you’ll allow me.”

Alastair considers this and Thomas waits in silence that, despite being only seconds long, feels as if it stretches on for hours.

“Come in,” Alastair says finally, stepping aside to let Thomas enter. “We can talk in the study.”

Thomas can’t help but look pleased with this, allowing himself a small smile in spite of his nerves as he enters the Carstairs home.

“Right,” Thomas says, once they’re situated in the study and there’s no more putting the conversation off. “I guess I’ll start.”

Thomas takes a moment to collect his thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” he says, though the words scream of not enough, they’re the best starting point he has.

Alastair looks incredulous. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Thomas repeats. “And I’ll say it as many times as I have to until you believe I mean it. I’ve spent so much time trying to convince you that you can trust me and confide in me. Saying I’d be there for you… and then I ruined that in one fit of anger rather than taking the time to talk about it, or even think about it properly first. I know you’ve changed since the Academy, I know that better than anyone, and I shouldn’t have been so quick or so severe with my reaction at the party,” Thomas says. Once the words start it sounds as if they tumble out of Thomas’ lips in a rush. Indeed, he takes a moment to catch his breath after.

Which is good, because Alastair looks as if he needs more than a moment to process all of that.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Alastair says finally. “I should be the one apologizing. What I did back then, what I said- it’s unforgivable. Matthew has every right to hate me for it, as do you, and if I were a better person I would’ve admitted to my role in it sooner. I’d hoped it’d stay in the past, that I’d never have to see that look of disappointment that crossed your face when you found out, even if I deserved that and so much more.”

Their words hang heavy between them. There’s the comfort of the apologies, but this transgression feels too big to be solved by a few words.

“You should know,” Alastair adds slowly. “I wanted to show up at your door every day for the past week and apologize. ”

“Why didn’t you?” Thomas asks.

“Because I wanted to respect your wishes. I hurt you and you needed space and if I could do nothing else, I could at least give you that. For as long as you needed it - forever, if it came to that, though I wished desperately it wouldn’t.”

Alastair’s voice is soft, it’s fragile and vulnerable and everything Thomas knows no one but him gets to see. He also knows how difficult it is for Alastair to admit things like that, even to him.

“I don’t want space,” Thomas admits. “It might take more than one talk to put this behind us, but I do think we can move past this. But we both have to be honest with each other. It won’t work if you can’t come to me with things - anything, but especially things like this. Promise me?”

For the first time in the past week, Alastair smiles, and the sight of it warms Thomas’ very soul.

“Before I might not have been so sure, but I don’t think I could stand to lose you like that twice. I missed you dearly, Thomas. I know I had no right to, that it’s my own fault, but it’s the truth. So yes, I believe that’s something I can do.”

Thomas feels that familiar swoop in his stomach that comes so often when Alastair is entirely genuine with him like this.

“I missed you, too,” Thomas returns. He knows they’ll have to talk about it more, but he thinks they’ve done enough for one day. It’s a good start, and he doesn't want to push too much, too soon.

“I’ve also missed your literature updates,” Thomas continues. Alastair ranting to Thomas about the plot in whatever novel he’s picked up most recently has become a bit of a thing between them, and it’s just the sort of normalcy they need right then, Thomas thinks.

Alastair, who settles back into his chair as if preparing for a long rant, seems to agree.

“Forget the past week - the ending to my last book was horrendous and I’m not even going to bore you with the droll recounting of it. I’m not sure I could stand to relive it,” Alastair sighs. “However, this new book I picked up yesterday seems promising…”

Thomas settles in as well, glad he came here today. He knows it likely won’t be the last time one of them pushes the other away, but now he also knows that’s something they can come back from - something they both want to come back from.

As many times as it takes.