#play her... since i ended up having to dm that campaign.

[sangfielle]

i need to write a proper backstory for my pathfinder character beyond the basic stuff laid out before the campaign started and answer dm questions about her... and i need to make a character for the new 5e campaign i'm in... busy busy...

[gtcopter]

concept: a non-winged tiny jealous of fairies or perhaps a fairy that was for some reason born without wings makes themself a pair of mechanical wings. a la icarus or maybe more like a jetpack.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the asshole for denying a dnd character request?

Info:

I'm a dm but im pretty new to the dming side of things. Up until recently i had been a player exclusively. One of my friends (who I'll call K) mentioned wanting to get into dnd and I said I could dm. A few other of our friends also joined the campaign and I set to work helping everyone develop characters and began writing the story

Im a pretty chill person when it comes to dnd rules, I'm not exactly free for all, but not book rigid either. Im fine with homebrew or critical role content if it can be adapted to be playable and not unfair. I don't want the other players to be left behind and I don't want monsters and the other PCs to look like chumps.

K came up to me and said they wanted their character to be an angel. I was like "sick, I'll help you write up an aasimar". But she showed me the picture she wanted, and it was one of those biblical angels that's just a ring of eyes with wings everywhere. And that was going to be a solid no.

I had a few reasons. One was backstory wise, why would an angel like that be traveling with a bunch of mortals, one of which, another PC, was a tiefling? Another was practicality, how would a creature with no arms and who flies around be able to reasonably adapt to the rules around carrying weight, one vs two handed weapons, and movement? And the third was the biggie, and it was that the big baddie at the end of the of the campaign was a beholder, for folks who don't know dnd, a beholder is a giant flying eyeball monster with a giant mouth and tentacles. And that was going to be an issue because I thought that K's angel drawing looked too similar to a beholder. And since that thing is the big baddie of the whole fuggin story, it would mean both NPCs and monsters would be like "oh fuck, a beholder," and it would mess up the intermediate battles and quests I had already written.

I told K no and she replied, paraphrased, "if you wrote and made up this whole story why can't you make up a reason why my character is here?"

I just told her I couldn't because her character would look too much like a beholder and it would scare off low level monsters and npcs and she got very huffy with me.

Another of the friends who was also playing said that maybe we should let the rules slide and just let K play as her drawing. I still said no, and that I was fine with her playing an aasimar, but if she wanted to play one, she'd have to be more reasonable to the game.

K said she was fine with it but still seems pissed off at me.

Am i the asshole for denying her request to play as her angel drawing?

[hellfirenacht]

Water Balloons

Summary: You’ve been dating Eddie for a few months, but never talked about the future.

Tags: Eddie x Reader, sfw, fluff, neither reader or eddie want kids, mentions of breeding kink but it’s Reader being a little shit, NO ACTUAL KINKS INDULGED IN, no use of y/n, fem!reader

Notes: I have nothing against breeding kinks or parent!Eddie fics. But this is for anyone who does NOT enjoy those specific things. 

Bassed off of this post by @deathbecomesthem 

You and Eddie laid on the roof of his van, a blanket under you both as you stared up at the sky. The two of you had been watching the late summer sun slowly disappear over the horizon in shades of fiery reds and oranges. Now the two of you stared at the stars above, creating new constellations as your fingers intertwined. 

This had been the best summer of your life. Eddie had asked you out the second he ran off the stage in his graduation gown, diploma in hand. You had barely said yes before slamming your lips against his. He’d been waiting two years to ask you out, not wanting you to have to explain to people that you were in your early 20s and dating a high schooler. 

Summer days were stretched with Eddie visiting you at work, day long games of dungeons and dragons, hanging out at the pool, and driving around with music blasting. Nights had been endless memories of the Hideout, watching him play, sneaking into his trailer when Wayne was at work, and long conversations that would only end when the sun came up. 

You didn’t think it could be better than this, which is why you had been putting off this conversation for so long. 

Eddie was talking about how he’d snuck into the High School to play Dustin’s latest one-shot. Without Eddie as the DM, the other members had been taking turns running different smaller campaigns. 

“The kid has imagination.” Eddie said, his hand giving yours a squeeze. You could feel the clunky rings on his fingers digging into your skin but you had grown used to the feeling by now. “He always threw me off when I was in charge but he’s on a whole other level as the DM.” 

“Did anyone catch you sneaking in or out?” you asked, looking at the small sliver of moon above. 

“Not a soul.” he looked over at you and grinned. “Besides, what would they do? Expel me?” 

“Arrest you for trespassing.” you nudged him with your own grin. “Remember, I don’t have bail money.”

“I’d break out.” Eddie said. “Get myself a spoon and start digging.” 

You giggled and ran your thumb over the back of his hand. You’d always had a thing for his hands before, but after dating they were one of your favorite parts about him. His fingertips were rough and calloused from playing guitar, but the rest of his hand was smooth and soft from the lotion you’d always put on him when you applied it to yourself. He used to pretend he hated it, but now he always offered his hands whenever you pulled out your lotion. 

“I ran into Cass Finnigan earlier.” you said, trying to keep your tone casual, as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest. Things were going so good, why ruin it?

“Cass?” Eddie sounded surprised. “Huh, I haven’t seen her since she graduated."

“She’s pregnant. Probably about three months.” you said, your voice going a little quiet. The pause between the two of you was closer to term than Cass. 

“Yeah?” You could hear a strain in Eddie’s voice that you wish you knew what it meant. Was that stress? Yearning? Gas? Most times Eddie wore his emotions on his sleeve but your own anxiety was clouding your reading of him.  

“Yeah.” you echoed. “Surprised me, considering how young we are.”

“Too young.” Eddie said, and you felt him shift next to you. 

“Way too young.” 

The silence between you stretched miles, each of you trapped deep inside of your minds as you thought about a former classmate's pregnancy. 

You decided to rip the bandaid off.

“I don’t want kids.” You said, staring harder at the sky. You held your breath, waiting for the shoe to drop. Kids had never been something that appealed to you, not in a million years. The idea of children, pregnancy, parenthood, none of it sounded rewarding or exciting. It only filled you with dread and anxiety. 

You’d lost boyfriends over it, partners that you had really liked. They all said the same thing. That you were still young, still in school, of course you didn’t want kids now. You’d change your mind. 

You never did though. 

As you held your breath, Eddie deflated next to you. Shit, this was going to end the same. He was going to repeat those same tired lines and you’d have to break this off. 

Then Eddie started laughing.

“Oh thank Christ.” he said, rubbing his face. “I was terrified you were dropping a hint that you wanted to start a family.” 

“What? Oh no- Eddie. Eddie, no.” you shook your head quickly, the tension in your body starting to ease up a little. “But I mean it, Eddie. I don’t want kids. Ever. Like, ever ever. I don’t want pregnancy, I don’t want to adopt... I don’t want to be a parent.” 

“Me either.” Those two words could have knocked the wind out of you. 

You sat up and looked down at him. Eddie looked so pretty with his long hair splayed on on the blanket and brown eyes that reflected the stars that you had just been looking at. 

“Do you mean that?” you asked firmly. “Because I mean it.”

Eddie sat up and faced you, not letting go of your hand. “I’m not dad material.” he said. “I never have been, and I never will be. Being a parent scares the shit out of me. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a kid even if I had one.” 

“I think you need to feed it sometimes.” you gave him a smile. “Take it for walks twice a day and teach it not to poop on the floor.” 

Eddie laughed, and pushed you down so that he was on top of you. “No, that’s me you’re thinking of.” he joked. Moving his legs on either side of your hips. 

“Oh, I hope you’re housebroken, Munson.” you laughed. “Otherwise I want a refund.” 

“Sorry, I don’t do returns. You know this.” he kissed your cheek.

“You’re so fucking weird.” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I believe the word you're looking for is freak, sweetheart.” 

Your fingers ran through his hair and he closed his eyes, a faint smile on his face. “You’re really okay with that?” you asked. “I know we’ve only been dating a few months, but I don’t- I’m not just dating you to date you. I want this to be real. If you want kids, we can stop this whole thing and-”

Eddie didn’t let you finish, cutting you off with a kiss. “No returns.” he said firmly before kissing you again. “I don’t want kids.” Kiss. “You don’t want kids.” Kiss.

You couldn’t resist messing with him, and looked up at him with a grin that Eddie learned quickly meant trouble. 

“Oh but Daddy, don’t you wanna knock me up?” you said, batting your eyelashes. The look on Eddie’s face was priceless as he looked at you like you’d eaten a bug. He tried to get off you but you grabbed him and pulled him back. “Come on, Eds, let’s make Granny Eckard right and get some Munson Jr. Jrs running around!”

“Absolutely not, oh no. Get off me, woman!” Eddie struggled to pry you off, but you just held him tighter. 

“Don’t you wanna... uh....be my Daddy and also be the father of my children?” you laughed, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“I think my poor dick just went into early retirement.” Eddie said dramatically. “I may never get it up again because of this conversation. And what will you do then, hm?”

“You have fingers and a tongue still.” you wiggled your eyebrows. “And I have plenty of toys if those go limp, too- MMFFF...!”

Eddie had covered your mouth with his hand, and despite how pale he had gone for a second he was now laughing hard. “Stop talking. You’ve abused your talking privileges for the night.” Eddie looked down at you. “I’m gonna let go, and you’re gonna stop making it weird. Can you do that?”

You nodded, still shaking with your laughter. It was tempting to keep going, but you wanted to check just one more time. 

His hand pulled off your mouth and you both sat up again, your giggles echoing in the small park that you were in. 

“I mean it.” Eddie said, taking your hand again. “I don’t want kids either. I could live the rest of my life with just you and I’d be happy.”

Your heart jumped up in your throat. “The rest of your life...?” 

Eddie realized what he said quickly. “I mean, you and I have been friends for years and I know that the whole dating thing is new for us but... yeah. I know I’m not exactly Mr. Romantic, but...”

That was enough for you, and you took his hand and kissed his knuckles gently. “So... kids no, but open to marriage?” 

“Not right now.” he said. “Later.” 

“Aww, am I not enough for a whirlwind, runaway marriage?” you smiled. “Not gonna drive me to the courthouse right now and make an honest woman out of me?”

“Considering how your specialty was always a bluff check, I doubt anyone could make an honest woman out of you.” Eddie snorted. 

“I guess you’re worth the wait.” your leaned closer to him. “You were always worth the wait.” 

“You’re gonna make me blush.” Eddie said, cupping your cheek and kissing you softly. “You know... since we’ve agreed that kids are off the table, I do have a half used box of condoms in the back of the van that could be used right now.” 

“Oh, and what happened the the other half of the box?” you smirked, knowing full well what happened. 

“Well, you see sweetheart, a few weeks ago we decided to have a water balloon fight but we ran out of balloons so me and Jeff had this idea-” 

“Eddie no!” you laughed, smacking his arm. “Seriously? Where was I during all this?”

“You abandoned me.” 

“I was at work wasn’t I? Remind me to quit tomorrow.” 

Eddie pulled you in closer “Well that’s only where a few of them went. The rest went to this really hot chick who somehow decided to take a chance on the biggest freak in Hawkins.” 

“Lucky her.” you said, pecking his lips. “So... wanna show me these makeshift water balloons? For science, of course.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Eddie said with a smile. 

Eddie helped you down from off the top of his van, and you just knew that this was it. No matter what happened after tonight, you knew that you both were in it for the long haul. No need to change or force things just because of what everyone said you should do. From then on, it would be just you and Eddie, and that would be enough.  

[ladykailitha]

You pardon me, I'm getting a little foamy at the mouth about this and if I don't rant about it, I may explode.

Lucas and the Game.

Which game? Both of them. Basketball and D&D. Because honestly I am a little lot weary of Eddie getting the lion share of the blame for what happened that Friday. Like I legit saw someone suggest that the school move the basketball game. Like what now?

Did Eddie make some CHOICEStm? Yes, yes he did. Lucas did not go to the dark side for playing a sport.

HOWEVER!

Lucas made some choices of his own.

Now, my information is 20 years old and I'm doing this based on memory, so if I get things wrong, also know I am from a different state than Indiana.

The play offs and championship games are announced ahead of time. There is no way Lucas was told THAT day that Hawkins was playing in the championship game. He had three days on the inside and a week on the outside of knowing when the game was.

Also take into consideration that the likelihood of Lucas PLAYING in said championship game is astronomical. Like the starting lineup and all the second string players would have to injured or fouled out before he could play. Because he's a freshman. He would have to wait out all the sophomores, juniors, and seniors(grades 10-12 respectively) before the coach would put him in. As opposed to a game that not only would he be playing in, he would be considered a valued member.

But as a club, Hellfire probably had set days they could meet. (Also, also, who the teaching advisor for that club and where the hell were they at any point during that season?)

So for most of the school year, the Hellfire club met on Fridays. Lucas would have known that.

So he had a few days to tell Eddie that he wouldn't be able to make it to the finale of their campaign, and he didn't. Then he didn't have to courage to tell Eddie himself and made Dustin and Mike do it.

So here's Eddie, president of the club (though, I can only imagine he was because no else wanted it, as something tells me I don't think they would have a let a double super senior president of anything), being told he's going to be down a player or be forced to move it. Something the other members of the club didn't want to do.

So why does Lucas's choice matter, but Gareth, Jeff, and the Unnamed Freak's choices don't?

So Eddie has to make a decision. Move it, find a replacement, or cancel it all together.

But since it was Dustin and Mike who brought to his attention THEY can find a replacement.

Because here's the thing about D&D and especially about being a DM. You build the fight based around the characters' abilities, classes, and magical items. And there is a lovely thing called CR or challenge rating. It's based on a party of four but can be adjusted for how many players you have. So a CR 10 would be a monster or fight that would take FOUR level 10 characters to beat. So six players, he would probably throw a CR 12 or 13 because of the extra players.

And if they are down a player it can really fuck things up, because what do you scale back and how?

We don't know what level all the characters were or what their classes were. We know that Lucas HAD played a ranger in the past so lets go with that. And since we know EXACTLY what Erica's character was: a level 14 half-elf rogue, so Lucas was probably of a similar level. And let me tell you TWO complete different skill sets.

Which is probably why the group is decimated at the end. Rangers are long range (heh) and rogues are better up close and personal. If Erica hadn't rolled a natural 20 both her and Dustin would have been dead when Vecna took his turn.

Sorry, I got off track a bit with the D&D stuff. But the purpose of that was to show that Lucas bailing last minute would have fucked things up for Eddie.

So TL;DR is that Lucas chose a game that he would likely be on the bench for for all of the game over a game he was an active participant in, didn't tell Eddie for DAYS and made his friends do it last minute, and then demanded the campaign get moved at the cost of the other members of the club's wants, and all because he wanted to be popular.

So, no. Eddie should NOT apologize for not catering to the wants of one member of his club over the needs of everyone else in said club. Maybe a bit on the traitor thing, but not moving the finale because Lucas thought basketball was more important? Nah...

[dice-sociation]

AP Review: Reckless Attack - Main Campaign

Listen Here: https://www.recklessattack.com/episodes/

Quick info:

Audio Quality: High Quality and Edited, Effects, Music. Vibes: Lord of the Rings, Ghibli, Never Ending Story, Avatar the Last Airbender, Frogs Extras: Discord and Patreon rewards. System: 5e DnD Average Episode time: 1 hour Uploads 1 Episode per week. Campaign/ Show Length: Long Term Campaign Platforms: Podcast, Audio Only. Accessibility: Content Warnings Language available: English Diversity: AAPI/BIPOC Number of Episodes Review is based on: 100 (This is my first review so I decided to start with a Podcast I’m already caught up on) ** If you want the TLDR, scroll to the bottom of the post **

Why Reckless Attack?

I honestly believe that part of the draw of listening to people play a TTRPG is not just the story telling but an assurance that adults can somehow actually and consistently come together, in person, to pull off a full long term game. Reckless Attack is one such podcast. They are a small indie podcast with excellent audio quality and editing. 

But, why should you listen to another high fantasy podcast? Well, have you ever wanted to see what a post-apocalyptic High Fantasy world would look like? The deeper you delve into Reckless Attack, the deeper the lore gets, and we have barely scratched the surface a hundred episodes in. You’ll join the players as they explore a world recovering from an apocalyptic event, ripe with magic and unstable artifacts, an undead army, and frogs.

Starting The Pod

Right out the gate, the listeners are greeted by a Lord of the Rings style opening monologue, giving relevant history and context to the kind of place the characters live in. I personally get the feeling a lot of the world was established in a previous game or between the DM and players prior to the start of this campaign. If, as a listener, it feels like you're missing something, don't worry; you'll get a lot more context down the road, especially once the players make it to the city of Agmar (Episode 15). The first 15 episodes are a nice slow build up. 

Conveniently, the first recap episode covers Episode 1-14! (Though I really enjoyed the first 14 episodes, I know not everyone has the amount of listening time I have). If you are so inclined to start from the first episode, you'll get nicely eased into the characters and their relationships with one another before a lot of the bigger world building really starts to soar.

(My one caveat is that I listen to this podcast at 1.3-1.4 speed since the players and Nathan speak with a good amount of pauses, and that can be a little too slow for me.)

About the Team

Nathan, the DM for the main campaign, paints some amazing pictures of his homebrew world. He has a real talent for creating larger than life NPCs and Big Baddies for his players to interact with. They all have clear motivations, flaws, and personalities that truly rounds out the overall story. When it comes to plot, Nathan kept me on my toes with plot twists that would literally snap me out of whatever multitasking I was doing. And I must recognize how often Nathan opens the floor for the players to build parts of the story and describe longer stretches of downtime. Those moments are like the equivalent of cinematic montages to represent the passing of time.

The players, Sophie, Steve, David, and Jonathan, deliver wonderful descriptions and leave plenty of space for each other to speak, balanced with just the right amount of crosstalk. Each character has a very unique voice which is helpful for listeners (especially because David and Jonathan are twins and have similar voices).

Sophie plays Valeska Carter, the Human * Cleric. "Valeska is a young woman in search of answers. Like, compulsively."* I quickly fell in love with Val, an exhausted nerd who can never have enough notes and organization. If you're the kind of person who is always rescuing animals, you will love her too. 

Steve plays Selv Asterlin, the Dragonborn Monk. "Selv’s years at his town’s icy mountain monastery has trained not just his body, but also his mind and emotions. The large dragonborn seeks to be a peacemaker in conflicts, exuding strength, calm and serenity while straying away from violence and lethal force when possible."* But don't be fooled, Selv is often one for the occasional good prank, and I always appreciate Steve's references even when the rest of the group don't understand them. (I got you Steve) 

David plays Kascorin "Kass" Brightmane, the Dwarven Warlock. "Tomorrow (Kass leaves) this city for the Golden Tree adventuring guild, and in leaving this city, (He leaves his) friends, (his) family, and (his) comfortable life behind."* Kass is very grounded, serious, and focused, until he runs into tasty dried meats. Kass has all the charm of a warlock and the grit of a soldier. 

Jonathan plays Checkers, the Gung Druid, with his trusty pals Mango and Junior. "Joining the Golden Tree adventuring guild on a dare, Checkers and his frog pal Mango are here to prove that it’s better to find your own path than to follow someone else’s. After all, where’s the fun in looking before you leap?"* Checkers is a lot like the characters I personally play. Someone who doesn't stand around for too much planning and prefers to "leap" into action. In my very humble opinion, every group needs an instigator. 

I have also come to really admire the level of trust and respect the group has for one another. They handle both wonderful whimsical beats as well as solemn moments with great care (Episode 108 was magnificent.)

*Quoted from the official Reckless Attack website. You can find this and more at their website www.recklessattack.com. (Be aware, reading the available character sheets may contain spoilers)

About the World

Ryxia is built on a world where long ago, the Gods walked among mortals, but one day they left. As if in consequence, magic in this world seems to ebb and flow, and monsters roam the wilds. Until, the "second of Ryxia’s twin suns disappeared from the sky, the Ultragiants appeared, and the Pentarchy’s great capital city of Narhasur was turned into a smoldering crater." *

You can think of the Ultra Giants as the Titans of this world, being elemental and colossal. These Ultra Giants terrorized mortals until one day, the mortals managed to kill one " wielding their city’s Object of Focus… The object was destroyed, as was much of the army. But strangely, within days, the Ultragiants no longer stalked Ryxia."*

As the mortals re-emerged, they started to rebuild despite the incredible amount of monsters who now roam the lands. 

*Quoted from the official Reckless Attack website. You can find this and more at their website www.recklessattack.com. (Be aware, reading the available character sheets may contain spoilers)

Extras

Aside from the main campaign Nathan has his own series called Reckless A-Talk. This series Nathan or others on the team interview incredible people from all over the TTRPG space. Nathan's style of interviewing is mostly allowing his guest to speak more than he does, followed by the wonderful lightning round questions. I highly recommend listening to these (as a little treat) if you are interested in learning other perspectives and other aspects of the industry. 

Bonus one shots are another part of Reckless Attack, allowing the players to take the reigns.  They serve as fun filler for when you just can't wait for the next episode to drop. 

And if that's still not enough content for you, you can always subscribe to their Patreon for even more content, including the very relaxed Reckless A-Snack.

TLDR

High Fantasy world rebuilding the world after mortals were nearly wiped out.

Listeners will get a good feel of the world within the first 14 episodes. (IMO, the pacing starts to pick up after Episode 14)

Here are "Tale Til Now," recap episodes for those who want to catch up faster. (Episodes 1-14, 14-42, 42-66, 67-84)

Non Player Characters are larger than life, with clear motives and personalities.

The Dungeon Master and Players share a lot of world building and you can feel the love and trust they have for each other.

Recommended listening at 1.3x-1.5x speed if you are one of those people (you know who you are).

Find more details about the world and characters at www.recklessattack.com.

Lots of extra content for those who just need more, including; interviews, one-shots run by the players, and patreon bonus content. https://www.patreon.com/recklessattack/home

Do you have ideas or suggestions? Please feel free to comment!

Special thanks to Artax of Who's Taking Watch for helping with editing!

No Context Spoilers:

[strawberrypinky]

Mystra and Gale

@legacygirlingreen "see my only experience with Mystra is purely in DND sense, since I do not play BG3, but USUALLY we change the usage of her depending on campaign and what the DM has come up with... so in the BG3 space I am assuming they made her really predatory towards her chosen one?"

Had to make a bit of a separate post for this as this is a bit ✨complicated✨, but my answer is below the cut!

Mystra has changed a lot over the various editions of DnD (more like WotC is killing her off and making a 'new' Mystra with each Edition, but anyway), so I understand why there are so many discrepancies between people's views of Mystra.

BG3 is based on the 5th Edition, but Larian took a few creative liberties. Generally speaking, Mystra is "the Mistress of Magic and Mother of Mysteries who guides the Weave of magic that envelops the world, [...] tending to the Weave, making possible all the miracles and mysteries wrought by magic and users of magic.".

According to BG3, Gale was a prodigy from an early age and eventually studied at Blackstaff Academy to further his talents. From the age of eight, he was mentored by Elminster Aumar, who is widely considered Mystra's "favoured Chosen". I'm not going to delve into the dynamics of Elmister and Mystra here, messed up as they are, because it would take too long.

Point is, Gale, from a young age, was essentially channelling Mystra's divine essence and, as a wizard, worshipping her. And yes - this is important for their dynamic.

Gale eventually became one of Mystra's Chosen, though the timeline was never specified. The earliest Gale could have met Mystra was in 1479, when Mystra was resurrected after the Second Sundering. Gale should have been between seventeen and his mid-twenties at the time, but there are a few canon inconsistencies that make his age challenging to place. Namely, the game takes place in 1492 and recognises Elturel's descent, which canonically didn't happen until 1494, but anywho.

Initially, Mystra was a teacher and muse to him, showing him her realm before eventually becoming his lover. The relationship turned sour/ended when Gale released parts of Netherese magic (absorbing it and creating the Orb) in an effort to prove himself worthy to her and gain access to parts of the weave she previously denied him.Was this wrong of him? Yes. Was there malicious intent behind it? No, absolutely not. Gale wasn't even aware that the magic he absorbed came from Karsus.

As part of his questline in BG3, Gale is tasked with destroying the Absolute with the Orb and is promised forgiveness by Mystra when he succeeds. If you let him use the Orb in Act 2 when finally uncovering what the Absolute is, you get a game over, and the game essentially tells how catastrophic that decision was. Aka, Mystra ain't shit.

As for her and Gale's relationship? While perhaps not inherently predatory in Gale's case (if he met her past the age of 18!), Mystra is known to prey on young boys. Minsc has a line about hiding young boys from her in his homelands if they show an early aptitude for magic.

Generally speaking, I don't think I need to highlight how incredibly messed up their relationship is and always has been. Gale was taught to worship her from a young age and was practically raised to adore the ground she walked on because she commands his very being - magic.

She is a goddess with infinitely more power than him. The power imbalance is insane and does raise the question of "Could Gale have ever said no?" With Mystra's track record, he may have never been able to. While he consented to a more intimate relationship with her (at least there isn't an explicit implication of SA), he was never on equal footing with her. And yes - Power imbalance impacts consent. Mystra is ingenuously responsible for the insecurities he's shown to have in the game and never should've put her hands on him or anywhere near him.

While Gale's hubris makes him incredibly complex and, yes, also flawed, his and Mystra's relationship should never have existed because it is borderline abusive.

[jannaphia]

Ruby/Kaisa Writing Masterpost

Right, okay, wasn't sure if I should post these, but its pride month and I think I deserve a treat after sipping denial juice for like 15 years.

I actually wanted to flesh out some things that happened in their past, but I had so much fun I ended up with like 12 little snippets that I'm just going to throw on here over the next month.

A little background: these two are side characters from my group's DnD campaign, that I have latched onto like a barnacle to a boat (Kaisa was actually my first PC ever, I brought her back as a gimmick & our dm played along, so that didn’t exactly help with getting less attached).

*DISCLAIMER* - the campaign we play is 100% organic homebrew and we treat the world of DnD like a toddler treats a sandbox - with enough respect not to eat the sand but otherwise it's a free-for-all.

Snippets under the cut!

☼・12/12・☼

----------------------------

☼・1・☼

“They fucked both of us over, didn’t they?” Kaisa tightened the grip on her sword, while the rough wall dug into her back even through the scale mail.

The woman beside her nodded earnestly.

“You could say that.”

Kaisa shot her another glance. Heart-shaped face, grey-purple skin, red eyes, pointed ears. Drow, half-blood, most likely, with those ridiculous white strands of hair that framed her face. She was panting slightly from the exertion of running for cover. And probably the fight before. And the knife wound in her shoulder. Goddamn wizards. She should have aimed better. At least then they wouldn’t be squeezed together in this tiny alcove, hiding from the villagers. Or what was left of them, anyway.

“Sorry I almost burned your face off”, the wizard said sheepishly.

Kaisa grunted, in part to hide her surprise. An apology was the last thing she’d expected.

“My fault I even gave you the chance.”

“I’ve never had anyone dodge my spells like that. You’re used to fighting casters, aren’t you?”

“I kill them, usually.”

“Oh.” To her credit, she didn’t cringe away. “Like…all of them?”

“Are you dead, little mage?”

She frowned. “Not for a lack of trying on your part.”

“But are you dead?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Is it a work-for-hire thing, then? Or is it...recreational?”

“Listen-“

“Ruby.”

“-Ruby, I don’t know why or how you got here, but you’re not what I came here for. So just stay out of my way and we won’t have any…further problems.”

“Fine. Are you sure you don’t need my help with that collapsed entrance, though?”

Damn. She’d forgotten all about that already. A triumphant little smile had appeared on the wizard’s insultingly pretty face and Kaisa felt like cursing again.

“I mean, I’m sure you’re strong enough to lift these boulders on your own, but fighting off a horde of undead at the same time might prove just a little difficult,” Ruby said with a small shrug. She winced and touched a hand to her shoulder. “Ouch.”

“And you think you’ll be of much help like that?”

“Probably not. I forgive you for throwing that dagger at me, by the way,” she said nonchalantly. “But since it looks like neither of us can leave on their own, we can either agree on a truce or we might as well stay here.”

There were few things that seemed less appealing than being stuck in a decrepit funeral temple with a wizard who liked to talk and smelled of peonies.

“Not a chance.” Kaisa fished a healing potion from a satchel at her belt and pressed it into Ruby’s hand. “Drink. Truce it is. Try anything, and I will stab you again.”

Ruby sniffed at the potion, downed it in one swig, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. There was a glint in her eyes, a purple glow lighting up the red of her irises. Shit, Kaisa thought. She looked like an innocent doll all groomed and polished as if she was made to be dressed up in lace and ribbons and put on a shelf behind glass. It made it so easy to forget she’d almost blown Kaisa to smithereens. Made it even easier to forget that that was probably her intention.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ruby said and squeezed past her. “I might just get a taste for it.”

☼・2・☼

“Wait!”

Kaisa stopped and half-turned.

“What?”

A part of her wished Ruby hadn’t saved her life at the centre of the temple. There were few things worse than being indebted to a wizard. She’d want something in return; of course she would. A quick end would have been preferable. Maybe then she’d finally find some peace.

“Come work for me. I could use some help on the ship.”

There it is.

“I don’t work for mages”, Kaisa said crisply. “I’ll do what I owe, but no more. Better get this over with anyway. What do you want?”

Ruby furrowed her brow, confused.

“What?”

“The life-debt. What do you want for it?”

“Life-debt? If I saved yours, you saved mine like a dozen times.” “I just pushed you out of the way.”

“Exactly. And anyway, I didn’t help you to get something out of it,” she said, indignant.

“Sounds like you do want something, though.”

“Right. Maybe I do. But not because of some debt you may or may not owe.”

Kaisa narrowed her eyes at Ruby. Was this some kind of game she was playing? No. As far as wizards went, Kaisa had to admit that Ruby seemed to be one of the more upstanding ones. But she was still a wizard. Which made admitting that she’d started earning her respect just a little inconvenient.

“I know you’re looking for that sword. I can help you get off world,” Ruby added.

Kaisa knew it was a hook, saw it coming right at her, and felt it dig right into her heart. It didn’t change anything. That was a damn good argument. Even a risk worth taking.

“And what’s in it for you?”

“Someone to watch my back.”

“And your first pick is someone whose job it is to murder people like you for a living?”

“I’m sure that’s not the only type of people you know how to murder”, Ruby said with a wry smile, and Kaisa snorted. “Not that I want you to murder anyone. But I do want to see more of what’s out there, different worlds, different planes. I think I didn’t realise how dangerous it was to go alone, and I don’t want to return home just yet. We made a pretty good team back then. I want someone by my side who won’t flinch when things get rocky.”

“Hm.”

Kaisa put a hand under Ruby’s chin and tipped up her face. She held her gaze without blinking. And what she saw was someone who had nothing to hide. Someone who carried her intentions like an open book before her.

“You have guts, little mage. I like that”, she said softly.

There was colour to Ruby’s cheeks when Kaisa let go of her. She tugged at her hair.

“I’ll pay you, of course,” she said.

“Finding the sword is payment enough.”

“No, I want you to know that I keep my word.” She cast her eyes down. “I know you don’t trust me, and you don’t have to. Not yet, anyway. But maybe we can start with…begrudging acceptance?”

Kaisa shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips.

“That… I might just manage.”

☼・3・☼

“Oh, fucking shit.” Kaisa skidded along the railing, the ship tilting precariously, the planks groaning. The mast was about to break, listing heavily to one side, the sails a tangled mess of rope and canvas. She jumped back on deck, vaulted over a crate that had gotten loose, hooked her feet into the guardrail, reached over; and managed to grab Ruby’s hand just as the netting snapped, that had kept her unconscious body from tumbling into the wide abyss of open space. With a shudder, the ship righted herself, and Kaisa hauled Ruby back to safety. Blood was dripping from a wound on her temple, ran over her cheek and dropped on Kaisa’s arm. Goddamn, reckless wizard.

She shook her a little.

“Ruby. Wake up.” Her eyelids fluttered. “Come on, little mage.”

“I told you not to call me that”, she mumbled, and sucked in a hissing breath. “Ow, that hurts.”

“And I told you to stay inside. But no. Someone had to go see these damn beasts for herself, didn’t she.”

“Nebula Eels,” Ruby said with a faint smile. “Very pretty.”

“Very deadly.”

“You needed help.”

“I can handle myself. But if you die, I’ll be stuck stranded in the aether, and that’s one shitty way to go. So please be a dear, and don’t do that.”

Ruby cracked her eyes open. “Aw, you’re worried about me.”

“I worry about both of us not getting killed.”

“Mhm.”

The mast made a cracking sound, which reminded Kaisa that they had a few other problems to address, rather than standing on deck bickering, Ruby in her arms like a bride on her wedding day.

“Can I put you down?”

Ruby sighed.

“Please don’t. I mean do. Yes. Sorry. My head.”

“Sure.”

Gently, she set Ruby on her feet and watched her sway towards the battered mast. Her, worrying about a wizard? Ridiculous. She should have carried her into the cabin, though. That wound looked nasty, not something to be walking around with. Ruby stumbled. And Kaisa only just managed to catch her fall.

☼・4・☼

[very mild spicy 🌶️ ] [🎵]

Clink. Clink. ——Clink.

Ruby crumbled the piece of paper in her hand. The noise wouldn’t stop.

“Can you please not do that while I’m doing my calculations?”

Kaisa didn’t even slow down as she answered, her sword slicing the air in perfect, glittering arcs. “We agreed I do my exercises in the morning. Go inside if it bothers you.”

“I can’t calculate anything if I can’t see the stars. Besides, it is not morning!”

“Maybe you should get glasses and look at the damn clock.” She whirled around, the blade lightly gracing the deck as she pivoted and finally came to a halt.

“Maybe you should stop scratching up my ship,” Ruby said, frustrated, and pointed at the chronometer above the cabin door. “And look at the time.”

“It’s nine.”

“Nine in the evening.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is when it’s always dark out here”, Kaisa said, gesturing at the whirling nebulas above and around the ship.

“I don’t know; you could see me going on deck, lay out my charts and think to yourself ‘hmm Ruby is trying to work so we don’t crash into some moon or asteroids or a sky whale; that must mean it is evening so maybe I should stop being an inconsiderate meathead and put my toy swords away for just an hour or two’.”

“Toy swords?”

Ruby swallowed. Definitely the wrong thing to say to someone holding about 34 inches of blank steel and towering above her by at least a head. But she wasn’t about to back down either. The air had grown thick with tension between them, their fragile truce evolved into something different altogether. It’d been a long stretch between Seucury and their next destination, Ilror, with nothing but each other for company, and both had gotten increasingly irritable and restless. Didn’t help that for some reason, she really, really liked it when Kaisa looked at her like she was about to put a dagger to her throat again. There was a sort of thrill to it, like casting the Walk On Water spell and watching the sharks below your feet. She wouldn’t get hurt, but just the thought of danger made her mouth run dry. At home waited only responsibility, decorum and routine. And Kaisa was none of that. 

Ruby breathed in deep as she came closer, the table digging into her back. Her eyes travelled over Kaisa’s arms, the tattoos on them that looked like someone had carved them with a blunt knife. Ruby had to crane her neck to look up at her, the lamplight reflecting in her dark red eyes, making them glow like burning embers. She’d only needed to…

Kaisa reached around her to grab the astrolabe lying on the table.

“If anyone’s playing with toys, it’s you. What even is this thing?”

“A star chart”, Ruby said, although she could barely speak. “Put it back.”

“Huh”, Kaisa said, activating the small illusion inside and squinting at it. “Look at that. We’re off by a few degrees.”

“How would you know?”

“Yes, how would I with all that meat in my head?”

Ruby made a sound between a huff and a growl and reached for the astrolabe. “Let me see.”

Kaisa pulled it out of her reach. “Come and get it.”

She was an archmage of Dakar, a respectable member of the Dakarian university, a noble from a house with a long reputation, and games like these were beneath her. Under any other circumstance.

“You fiend”, Ruby snarled and lunged at Kaisa, who laughed and twisted away, taking Ruby with her. They swayed over the deck, half wrestling, half losing balance, tumbled over a coil of rope, fell, and Ruby found herself pinned beneath Kaisa, the astrolabe rolling from her hand. She could hear her own breath in her ears, felt something unravel in her chest like a spring, a want she’d tried to talk herself into not feeling. What would my mother say? What would my colleagues say? What would the nobles say? What would Kaisa say?

“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.”

Ruby pulled her face down and kissed her. Hungry, starving. Felt her hands run over her arms, her back, every touch a small lightning strike, every kiss the answer to a question she’d never known she’d had. The only thing left of her was breath and fire, she weaved her hands into Kaisa’s braid as her lips travelled down her neck, one hand beneath her shirt; and the sound she made when Ruby ran her fingers along the membrane of her long ears might have sent Ruby to Elysium right then and there. She’d no idea how long they’d been lying there entangled, might have been a minute, might have been an hour, might have been an eternity. Not long enough by Dakarian standards. Too long, by Ruby’s.

“Cabin,” Ruby gasped. “Now.”

“Why? Is anyone else on this ship?” Kaisa whispered against her ear.

Oh, this was depravity. Absolutely unthinkable. The most wonderful, brilliant thing. Ruby lifted her eyes to watch the stars wheel above them, the endless dark expanse, the blue and purple nebulas, fractals, pattern, beauty she thought she’d gotten used to. But there would be no getting used to this.

☼・5・☼

[ 🎵]

“This one is my favourite”, Ruby said, trailing a finger over Kaisa’s back. She could feel the residue of old magic beneath her fingertips. These weren’t simple tattoos. But what purpose they might have had, she couldn’t tell.

“Hm. What does it look like?”

“You don’t know?”

“Don’t think I ever cared to find out what they did to my back.”

“They?” A few times Ruby had tried to uncover the reason behind Kaisa’s aversion, or rather borderline obsessive hatred, towards wizards. She’d only ever gotten pieces of an answer, had never guessed that the tattoos were a part of it.

Kaisa didn’t reply.

“It looks like a sun,” she said softly. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew…”, Kaisa trailed off and turned around. “Have you ever had your will taken from you?”

Ruby shook her head, taken just a little off guard. “Only in training. As an exercise.”

“Well, there was no training in Arathflor. Not for that sort of thing, anyway.”

“Your home?”

“No. That’s where the fighting pits were. Lawless place. They throw you into a cell with a bunch of other poor bastards, tell you they’re on your team, watch you befriend them and then force you to kill them in front of an audience, all the while you fight for control over your own fucking body.”

“Why would anyone do that?”, Ruby asked, unable to keep the horror from her voice.

“Money, power and sadism, mostly.”

She sounded like she was talking about the weather, but Ruby did not for one second believe she actually felt this calm.

“How did you get out?”

“A friend…he damaged the spell’s anchor. Wasn’t more than a little coin. Almost killed me. Kind of wish he had. It was the last fight of the season. Never found out if it was an accident, or if he knew. Never got to ask him.” She stared at her hands, as if there was still blood on them.

“I’m so sorry,” Ruby said and swept a strand of hair from Kaisa’s face. There was no word in any language she knew to take that kind of hurt away. “I’ll never let anyone do that to you ever again. I swear.”

Kaisa pressed a kiss to her palm. “Neither will I,” she whispered, gathering Ruby into her arms. There was something else in her voice when she spoke again; old hurt, hope, an edge like a shattered blade. “Gods help me, I don’t know how, but I trust you. Please don’t break it.”

Ruby fiercely shook her head.

“Never, never, never.”

☼・6・☼

Ruby woke to the last rays of the evening sun shining through the blinds of her room. Returning to Dakaris was always an exercise in re-adapting. This time even more so. She kept her eyes closed and waited for Kaisa to kiss her brow and say ‘good morning, gem’, but when she reached out her arms, the bed beside her was empty. Right. Kaisa was at the barracks. Easier this way, they’d decided. No inconvenient questions. No worries about anyone questioning her status or mental capacities. They might have looked past her being a woman, but not that she was an uncultured barbarian to Dakarian society. No match for an archmage. No match for a family already in a precarious situation. They couldn’t see what Ruby saw. Kaisa was no scholar, but her knowledge of the arcane and those who wielded it was extensive and unconventional. Ruby had no doubt she could hold her own against some of the professors at the university. Especially when it came to putting them through a wall, just to prove a point. Which was the second, and biggest the biggerissue. Kaisa might trust her, but that trust certainly did not extend to the wizards at the university, and Ruby refused to put her into a situation that might hurt her in one way or another. So they’d agreed to separate for the time being. Which meant, no ship ration breakfast in bed, no one to hold her when she couldn’t sleep and no one to tell her to ‘fuck the old crones at the university with their shitty little magic books and trinkets’. So by the time she’d swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her night was already ruined.

☼・7・☼

Kaisa walked back to the barracks with the first morning light at her back, tracing the new leather tie around her arm with a smile. When Ruby first suggested she’d stay with the soldiers, she’d been sceptical, to put it mildly. It had been one of their nastier arguments. But the Dakarian military had turned out to be quite the opposite of the stiff city guard stationed on the upper levels of Dakar. With little threat from other nations, the main function of the army was to keep the city safe from the creatures that roamed the desert. Giant chitinous, alligator-like beasts that hid under the sand, centipedes as long as a man’s leg that collapsed tunnels the drows had dug into the rocks below, or hordes of desert corpses that hunted travellers on the few accessible trading routes between the cities. That meant that the soldiers stayed mostly topside, on the fringes of Dakarian society, and Kaisa had found herself amidst a bunch of hardened, disarmingly forward and hearty fighters, who had first roped her into a drinking contest, then an arm wrestling contest and then a boxing match. The sense of honest camaraderie had soothed her initial anger. Even Ruby’s father, the acting general of the Dakarian forces, had welcomed her with open arms. Basilides seemed to be a generally fair and respectable sort of person, who was on good terms with almost everyone in camp. Last night, he’d granted leave to Osha, Tux and Kiril so they could take her out hunting. The hide of her prey’s soft underbelly now decorated Kaisa’s arm. It had been a good hunt. A good night. No, all things considered, things could be much worse.

☼・8・☼

“This is getting ridiculous.” Ruby wanted to groan, or scream, or possibly do both at the same time. Schooling her expression into a detached, pleasant mask was getting gradually harder as the night wore on.

“Master Dalael has appealed the notion twice, he requests a formal inquiry and a re-examination of how the funds will be diverted,” her secretary said, pushing up his glasses.

That smarmy bast-

“He argues that your absence warrants a revision of the schooling program for children from the Dens. ‘Things are constantly changing and need perpetual revision’, is what he said, if I recall.”

What would Kaisa do?, Ruby mused and twirled her pen between her fingers. Hold him over a crevasse by his ankles and shake him until he agreed to see reason, probably. The thought had some appeal.

“Tell Master Dalael I’ll be at the meet and that I will be available for a re-evaluation.”

“Of course. Then there’s the Society of Extra-Planar Arcane Arts. They have requested your presence for a demonstration of a communication device.”

A device that doesn’t work and likely will never work.

“I’ll be there after the meet.”

“Very well. Lastly, Professor Lylok wishes to inquire about the state of the final exams. He is growing…impatient.”

“I’m working on them. He may discuss them with me before first light tonight. Is that all?”

“For tonight, yes. I will arrange everything and update your calendar.”

“Thank you.”

Thalel nodded. When the door had clicked shut behind him, Ruby buried her head in her hands. Dalael, the SEPAA and then Lylok. The nobles fighting as always, the people in the Dens suffering. Nothing had changed. The city was still a pit of vipers, impervious to change, the festering darkness hidden by a shiny veneer of gems and starlight. She’d only been home for two weeks, and all things considered, things couldn’t be much worse.

☼・9・☼

“Oi! Reed! How did it go yesterday?”

Reed stomped past, sending an unmistakable gesture towards Kiril, who slapped his thigh, laughing.

“She’s been trying to get into Mel’s bed for like a decade now”, Osha explained and handed Kaisa a cup of ale. “It’s not going well. He’s the righteous sort, you know.”

“Poor thing”, Kaisa said.

“You got anyone at home?”

“Home?”

“You know, that world of gorgeous, tall and muscular warriors you so obviously come from.”

“Oh. Yeah. I got someone.” The fact that someone was actually on Dakar didn’t exactly change her situation. She might as well have been off-world.

“Must be hard being so far away.”

“We’re taking a break,” Kaisa said, staring into her cup. She missed Ruby with a force she didn’t even want to admit to herself. She’d rather thought the feelings would go away once they stopped being constantly in each other’s face, stuck on a tiny ship. But to her dismay it seemed quite the opposite was true. Either way, if she’d learned anything on her travels, it was to not get overly attached. To take it one day at a time. Or on Dakar, rather, one night at a time. They’d leave again eventually.

“Osha, shut up already.” Tux nudged her with an elbow and Osha shrugged apologetically.

“It’s fine”, Kaisa sighed and downed her cup. “She says her parents won’t approve. Don’t want to get her into trouble.”

Osha grimaced.

“Ouch. Yeah. Been there.” She put an arm around Kaisa’s shoulder, clinking her cup to hers. “Well, if you ever want a fresh start and that archmage won’t bring you back, we’ll gladly keep you.”

☼・10・☼

Ruby sank into the plush chair, the cushions almost swallowing her. She kind of wished they did.

“Denied”, she said tonelessly. “I’ve got a week to appeal the appeal of the appeal, no support, no time and no leverage. Who even came up with a system like that?”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about what? I can conjure a whole damn fire elemental from nothing, but I cannot conjure up a bloody conscience for Dalael and his ilk.”

“Rubinia!” Damariel pursed her lips. “That is unbecoming of someone your station. You have clearly been away for too long. And the company you’ve kept!”

“Mother, please.” Ruby plucked at the fringes of an exceptionally frilly cushion. “I did not mind the company. And since we’re on the topic, she deserves better accommodations.“

Damariel clicked her tongue. 

“Be that as it may, I believe that you have more pressing matters to attend to. Have you entered some sort of contract with the mercenary?”

“No, nothing like that.” She wanted to tell her mother not to speak about Kaisa as if she were just some muscle for hire. That she would give her right hand to make sure she was safe. And if she pretended hard enough, keeping her mouth shut about the true nature of their relationship was the only way to shield her from Dakarian politics. So Ruby did just that.

“Then I cannot fathom what you’re fretting about. Your father says Lady Brightwind has taken well to life at the barracks. I’m sure that will put your mind at ease?”

Ruby rubbed her eyes. She’d never been more tired in her life.

“I’m glad.”

Damariel set her cup down and put a hand on her daughter’s knee. “Dear, you look tried. Stay for the day. And surely tonight you will see things more clearly. There are more important things to focus on than appeasing mercenaries and your little social projects. Although I would not mind seeing you go toe to toe with Master Dalael. It would strengthen your position.”

Ruby was too exhausted to protest, so she simply nodded.

☼・11・☼

Kaisa’s room was at the back of the barracks; a word from his daughter had seen the general grant her a small private space apart from the other soldiers. A luxury, but isolating. She climbed up a flight of stairs that was fixed to the outside of the building. Light would come soon, and the air was already getting hotter. She’d half a mind to grab her swords and head to the little oasis instead when she noticed the door standing open. An orange glow came from inside, whoever it was, they did not try to hide. It mattered little. Kaisa grabbed her dagger, crept towards the door, a spell ready on her lips, and hesitated.

Peonies.

She allowed herself a little smile, willed the space between her and the room to let her pass through, stepped forward and out of the air behind a familiar figure standing by the window. Carefully, soft as a kiss, she put the blade to her throat.

“Gotcha”, she whispered.

But to her disappointment, Ruby barely reacted. She simply pushed the dagger away with a finger and turned, her presence hitting Kaisa like a wave. Like water in the desert. Like something that had only grown sweeter in its absence. This could have been the best morning in a month if Ruby hadn’t looked a right mess. As if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Judging from the red rims of her eyes, she’d been crying too. And Ruby never cried. 

“What happened?”, Kaisa asked, her voice dark, ready to break someone’s neck.

Ruby just shrugged a little.

“You look like you’ve been having fun”, she said instead of an answer, and it sounded almost like an accusation.

Kaisa forced the dagger back into its sheath with a loud click.

“I’m making the best of things. As you suggested,” she bit back.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be-“

“-Not miserable? What the fuck do you want me to be? Wasn’t my choice to get dropped off here with barely a word of goodbye. So don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

By the time she’d finished the sentence, Ruby was crying again. Ah fuck, was it hard to see her like that. But she’d a point to make, too.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby sniffed after a long pause. “I should have never left you like that. I was so worried about everyone's opinions, I thought if I played my cards right, I could actually do some good this time, but it’s all just the same and nothing I do really matters, I could do everything perfectly right and they still won’t listen and-“

“Woha, slow down”, Kaisa said, calm as she could manage. She should be fuming mad right now. Barely a word for a month, no visits, no messages, just a handful of cold letters, only for her to come back crying when things grew over her head. But unfortunately, this was Ruby. And she simply could not stand to see her hurt. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” Ruby wiped at her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “I’m not cut out to be an archmage. The others barely respect me enough not to insult me to my face. My mother has all the empathy of a bowl of sand, and father is never home long enough to talk to. I’m alone, and I’m miserable, I’ve made the worst mistake I could have possibly made, I pushed away the only one who actually cared, just to gain the approval of cut-throats and liars, and I’m so so sorry, I should never have-“

“Ruby-“

“I miss you! I miss you so much. And I don’t-“

Kaisa pulled her into her arms before Ruby could choke on her own tongue, rested her chin on top of her head. Just let her sob for a moment. She fit perfectly against her, like a puzzle piece, and in that moment she knew she never wanted to hold anyone else ever again. What was a month to an elf anyway? Nothing more than the blink of an eye.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, gently rocking them both back and forth. “You have no idea.”

Ruby held on as if she were drowning.

“Will you come home with me?”

Trading the barracks for the inner city? The university? The laughter and levity for hostile stares? Not very appealing. But she’d have Ruby back. That was all that mattered. And Kaisa had never cared about pissing off a few wizards anyway.

“Of course, gem. I’ll pack my things.”

☼・12・☼

Ruby smiled and took a deep breath, the air filled with the smell of the sea, the wind gently tugging at her hair, the sun in her face. The Scarlet Harlot glided through the waves like a fish, as easily as she’d navigated the aether above. Her heart was light and the road ahead wide open. What wonder to exist with nothing but blue all around and the sails snapping happily in the wind. She adjusted her sun-lenses, watched Kaisa stroll on deck, leant against the guardrail and beckoned her closer.

“Hello, my darling sunshine”, she said and wrapped her arms around her waist, but for some reason Kaisa only smiled against her lips when she went for a kiss.

“What is it?”

“You lost”, she said, took Ruby’s chin and pointed her face towards Coy, who sat on a crate, hidden in the shadow of the mast, an open-mouthed expression of disbelief on her face.

“Oh. Oh no.”

“I think you owe me ten gold, my love.”

“You dogs. You absolute dogs!” Coy jumped up, the string of her violin snapping. “I knew it! I fucking knew it.”

“And I knew you’d slip up first”, Kaisa said, and planted a kiss on her cheek before heading for the ship’s wheel.

“That’s not fair, you’re the one with all the names!”, Ruby called after her. “The one time I…I didn’t even know she was there! And you know I can’t see well in the sun! …What?”

There was a wide grin on Coy’s face.

“My darling sunshine. That’s disgusting. Oh, mother will be furious. I’m so proud.”

Ruby sighed. She’d never hear the end of this.

“She knows already.”

“And?”

“Well, you know how she is.”

“Oh, do I know.” Coy sat down again and fixed her violin. “You fooled me long enough, I’ll give you that. But on another note, you should really give the gold to me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Compensation for all the emotional damage you two are going to inflict on me.”

“Ah.”

“Make it eleven, and I’ll even throw in one or the other sappy love song, if you’re so inclined.”

“I’m not inclined. At all.”

Coy shrugged. “Your loss,” she said and started plucking at her violin as if she’d never seen the instrument before.

“Gods, you’re impossible.”

Ruby flicked a coin at her and Coy snatched it out of the air, still grinning.

“Good choice,” she said, changing the tune, humming softly, her bow dancing over the strings and the wind carrying the music like the sea carried their little ship.

“A silver for your thoughts, my love // a silver for your hand // a silver for a kiss, my love /// you said the sky cannot be bought // and I said just look up // see all the coins you have collected there // see them scattered in the dark // and I’ll add mine and more than that // just to have your heart. O, a silver…”

[leidensygdom]

ENNU EPILOGUE RECAP!!

OKay! So, our campaign ended! Yesterday was the 81 session, and last one of it- Our DM did a wonderful job at running it. We basically got to ask them for the scenes we'd like to see, and the session was built around that. It's been three years, so it was wild to see it come to an end! Here's a recap tho (a lil bit more focused on my blorbos since they're the ones you know)

The epilogue happened two years after the campaign's end, with a couple of flashbacks going some time back

First scene was welcoming Blasma (one of the party members), who had been on a trip all this time to heal her soul at her grandpa's dubious laboratory. She's pretty okay currently- if we ignore soul healing is something theoretically impossible. Probably many questionable things happened there. Osten traveled with her to make sure she was doing okay

Next scene was her welcoming party. A bunch of shenanigans happened. Yxala tried so play cool aunt, got her a motorbike. They ended in somewhat odd terms and my girl was trying so bad to get her trust again

Pulsar and Tephra- each polycule's kids- appeared to be overall terribly adorable. Yxala talked a lot about her Sweet Potato. Tephra is Yxala and Relé's biological kiddo (as evidenced by the branched horns), 6 months old, and just one of these big hefty babies who is starting to munch on everything (here's a token of baby her, and what she's like grown up!)

we also got to see the closure of Mythannae, Yden and Jorven's polycule! Myth and Yden recovered their enchanted clothing business. They specialize in magical clothing adapted to specific needs- Like fireproof clothing for fire genasi, helmets with bag-of-holding like pockets so you can put them on with horns, that stuff. Jorven has now been working on music again. (For context, Myth was my previous character before I switched for Yxala!)

Blasma's player also had an epilogue for his previous character- she's a tired old lady, who is now joining another tired old lady to get in politics. An improvement, given they were cops before that

Centi got to resurrect the weird celestial wife of an old teacher of hers- Who had been snatched up by Sol Ascensus and transformed into a monster. I can't wait to show Niereva to y'all tho, she's a bit of a weird aminal (a mantis/naga-like aasimar)

She may have done a fucked up pact with a psychopomp tho-

We had Yxala's, Relent's and Uri's wedding, we knew that was coming! It took Urion a long while to recover from after the Deep Lab, and they still struggle a lot with that they did as The Onirist

We had a scene of Urion's recovery. Initially they didn't even want to come to terms with being Urion- They were The Onirist. Relé had a hard time forgiving them too, bc they DID hurt Relent a lot. Yxala was a bit more fine about it, even after having her heart carved out by them.

they're all going to therapy lol

There's actually a cult to The Onirist/Ataraxia now though! Some people loved the idea of a godly machine that could solve everyone's hurts and ailments, and they're asking for them to come back and fix the world. maybe the mind control microchips were fine, y'know

(uri isn't doing great about this)

We had the ceremony- Money and seeds are given to the partners as a sign of prosperity and life. They're gonna have a great garden.

The polycule drank (alcohol-free) wine imbued with each other's blood too bc ceremonies there go hard- (this one is seen as a bit more archaic)

And a major exchange between marrying partners is expected. They exchanged basses- They had them custom made many decades ago, with Urion's being based on clouds (after Relé), Relé's being based on fire (after Yxala), and Yxala's being based on bismuth crystals (after Uri's). Now Uri has the fiery bass, Relé has the bismuth one, and Yxala has the cloudy bass

Urion was the bassist for Demonwire, a group they were a part of with some other anarchist friends. This bass has a very long history and it's very significative. Yxala was a bit shocked.

After that, the wedding after-party took place. Blasma set a date with Osten- They didn't actually get romantically involved up until now (and it's probably gonna be very slow still gfhudhdgf)

I forgot to mention this but Urion and Relent are now involved with an organization to help the people who were affected by the Deep Lab and The Onirist's actions. Uri had a very awkward interview about it.

We had few other closure scenes here and there. Finding out two other npcs are marrying, the fact the weird undead guy somehow has a new kid, that stuff- and then we went onto the final one

Which was a concert by Demonwire. Urion played with them for the first time in 12 years, and gave an awkward speech, and it was super sweet and just a great point to end the campaign in!

With that, we're now set to go play the next campaign- Which will happen 8 years after this epilogue (ten years after the end of the major campaign events). I'm going to be playing Siegmund, one of Yxala's kids, and I'm very excited for that.

Yxala won't be doing any major stuff- She's gonna still go fight corpos in the streets and she's going back to the Mecha Derby (did y'all know she was a mecha pilot in a sports competition lmao. I'm working on her pilot fit, it's cool!). Urion is going to be back on Demonwire, mostly to raise funds for those hurt by The Onirist and Ataraxia, and will have a bigger role coming up- Specially given Siegmund's (and Vyxander, his twin) have a lot to do with that. Relent will also be doing some major stuff, but it will remain spoilery for a time. He's got some big things to handle!

I may have cried a bit at the end because it's been so long. I'm glad the characters won't be fully gone. Next campaign will have a lot more lore stuff to gush about- We're going to adventure outside the city, and meet people from all over the world. There's a country that uses souls in place of nuclear fission. It's gonna be wild! (And thank you for reading-)

[greghatecrimes]

Baby Ducks AU Teenage Headcanons

(Only Chase and Thirteen this time since I'm still not exactly sure how I'm going to put Kutner in this AU, but eventually I will write some for him too)

Both Chase and Thirteen are one hundred thousand percent 'nerds'. In both the academic and the hobby sense.

Both of them are quick as a whip (they're House's kids, how could they not be?). On the Honor Roll, all honors and AP classes, that sort of thing. There's never any pressure from House or Wilson to be high achieving; they're very self motivated, but it's not for the grades or the GPA. Growing up with House meant that his thirst for knowledge rubbed off on them. They always want to know more about the world, the body, the brain, etc.

Chase is quiet about it, but he's a bookworm. He's always got one in his backpack or on his bedside table.

Thirteen enjoys reading too, but she's a bit more of a TV nerd. I think her favorites would be Xena: Warrior Princess, Buffy, most of the Star Trek series, etc. (Probably also really liked the '80s She-Ra as a kid, even though it was a little bit before her time in this AU)

Thirteen and some of her friends get into D&D when she's 12-13, and she LOVES it. She (lovingly) bullies Chase into trying it despite his many, many complaints, but he ends up adoring it, too. They manage to convince House and drag Wilson into doing one-shots with them a couple times a month, and eventually start trying to wheedle their way into a full campaign. (They succeed. House DMs and has too much fun with it.)

(Wilson is supportive of the nerdiness and D&D, it just takes him a while to wrap his head around how to do TTRPGs)

Neither one of them is quite as into video games as House is, but they both enjoy playing them. There are definitely many extremely intense family Mario Kart nights, and Thirteen and Chase have one hundred percent gotten into a physical fight that started over Mario Kart (lmaoooo).

Thirteen is into the Legend of Zelda games whereas I think teenage Chase would enjoy faster paced games like the Sonic franchise. Both of them like the Pokémon games and would probably play the ones you could link up with each other on (the ones on GBC and GBA, and maybe later the original NDS) together.

Tweenage Chase and Thirteen (14 and 12) stay up way too late to play Pokemon together. There's a period where almost every night they're hidden in one of their bedrooms, lights off and covers pulled up over their heads, with a flashlight and their Gameboy Colors.

Teenage Chase takes after House and plays the guitar. He can definitely carry a tune (read: he has a great voice but he's modest about it/doesn't ever tell anyone outside his family about it), but he'd keep singing as something for himself, just at home or in private.

Thirteen takes up the piano to improve her dexterity and fine motor skills once she's old enough to understand that she's at risk for Huntington's. Music theory isn't her style, but she does love the challenge in teaching herself progressively harder and harder pieces, and the control and detail it takes to master something particularly tricky.

House has absolutely shown them anime and manga. More on that in a later post for sure.

[withacapitalp]

How to Rehabilitate a Jock Part 6

Part 1 Part 5. Ao3 Link Part 7

It was already the second week of December by the time the Hellfire club finally, finally, defeated the Demon Lord Graz’zt. Normally, Eddie loved when a campaign stretched and stretched. It was a devious kind of joy to get to see his friends get stumped and backtrack and do everything they could to defeat whatever he had put in front of them. 

This time, he just wanted them to stab his stupid demon in the chest, light him on fire, and be done with it. 

A thousand times he had thought about just letting them win, and just letting them get through the end of the campaign. But his integrity as a dungeon master and a storyteller stopped him from doing it every single time. 

That, and Eddie was pretty sure they would be able to tell if he was skimping out on an ending just to get to the next campaign. Especially since they all knew why he would be so anxious to get to the next campaign. 

But, last week they had done it. Right at the last second Graz’zt had exploded in a shower of red sparks, the party had gained treasure and XP galore, and Eddie had stayed up every night this week finishing a one shot just for the occasion. 

Usually there was a rest week in between campaigns, or one of the others would rotate in as DM and Eddie would get to play for a while, but he wanted to be the one to run Steve’s first game. He didn’t trust any of the others not to sabotage, or try and kill him off early. 

Besides, he had the perfect beginner game planned. 

Well, he would have the perfect beginner game if their beginner ever decided to show up. 

“Seems like being late is a character trait,” Frank said as the rest of Hellfire sat around the table, clearly bored. Jeff was doodling in his book, and Rocky looked like he was asleep on the far side, face smushed up against the wood. School had ended almost a half hour ago, but there was still no sign of Steve. 

“This does give us time for a JRP update?” Janet suggested, sliding her chair back and walking over to the board. 

“Well, the update is…wow! Nothing has changed,” Gareth said, faking a look of utter shock before sliding back into his usual grumpy scowl, turning to Eddie, “Do you really want to wait three more months just to have to admit that I am right about him?” 

“How could anything have changed so far, Gareth?” Eddie shot back, sick and tired of his best friend’s issues. 

He held up a hand and began to count on his fingers right in front of Gareth’s face. Eddie knew that the other boy hated when he did things like that, but he also knew that he really couldn’t give a flying fuck at this point. Steve was trying, really honestly trying, and Gareth was being a jerk for literally no reason. 

“We just finished our new campaign, Steve isn’t even aware of the band yet because I’m not allowed to invite him to a show, and your third ridiculous checkpoint still has no defining parameters!” Eddie finished with a flourish. 

“Well, technically you can invite Steve to a show,” Kaiden said, grabbing everyone’s attention. He shrugged, pointing to the board, “It doesn’t say that Eddie can never invite him. It just won’t count towards the JRP until Steve goes without an invitation,” 

“Kaiden, what the hell?” Gareth said, spinning around and shooting his glare over to him instead of Eddie. 

“I don’t mind Steve, Gar.” Kaiden said with a shrug, unphased by his mood. By now they were all getting used to working around Gareth’s griping, “He’s pretty chill, he can be kinda funny, and I can’t think of anything he personally did that was that bad. Maybe he really is trying to be someone different now,”

The rest of the club didn’t speak, which Eddie decided to consider an extremely minute amount of progress. Sure, they weren’t sticking up for Steve, but they weren’t actively fighting against him anymore. 

Well, all except for one

“Traitor,” Gareth muttered under his breath. 

“Hey,” Eddie immediately snapped. Gareth could be pissy with him all he wanted, but he couldn’t go after another one of Eddie’s sheep just because he was mad. 

“I agree with Kaiden, I don’t see why Eddie would be forbidden from ever inviting Steve to a show,” Janet said, tapping her chin. 

Either she was unaware of how close the boys were to actually fighting, or she was actively ignoring it in favor of staying logical. Eddie would bet all of his money on the latter. Janet really was too smart for her own good. 

“As for setting parameters for the third point, I’m not sure how we go about that,” She continued, tapping her chalk against the board as she wracked her brain for potential ideas. 

“We don’t. We’ll know it when we see it,” Gareth stubbornly repeated, crossing his arms, “Though I doubt we will. This is just a waste of time.” 

Okay. Enough was enough. 

“What is your problem with him?!” Eddie shouted, starting the rest of the group. Rocky’s head popped off the table with a gasp, and Jeff immediately stiffened up. They were used to Eddie shouting, used to him raising his voice or getting angry, but that was all play, a show. This was actual anger, and that was scary. 

“Where did your problem with him go?” Gareth said, giving as good as he got, “You used to be the first to say that they aren’t us! They’re the enemy! He is literally the face of that enemy! What happened to the Munson Doctrine?!” 

Eddie opened his mouth to tell Gareth exactly where he could stick his Munson Doctrine, but before he could, Jeff stood up. 

His shoulders were up by his ears, and he looked completely uncomfortable, but Jeff was standing up anyway. A silent look from their bassist took the wind out of both boys’ sails, and they sat back down, tense and on edge. 

“Sorry Jeff,” Eddie sighed, pushing down any potential self hatred that wanted to rise up. The two of them knew Jeff’s story, knew why he wasn’t comfortable with angry yelling close to him, and they had done it anyway. Eddie forced himself to take a deep breath, watching as Gareth did the same. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Gareth echoed, looking genuinely remorseful. 

“This isn’t productive,” Frank pointed out, rolling his chair backwards until it collided with the chalkboard next to where Janet was standing, “I think that we should settle for a compromise.  All of the club members agree that Steve can stay. That would at least be enough to be considered a renouncement of some sort, right?,”

“That’s not the same,” Gareth protested. 

“Well, seeing as you don’t have a good argument for your checkpoint,” Frank replied, trailing off and waiting to hear if he had anything else to say. When Gareth remained grumpy and silent the rest nodded. 

“Okay so, I’ll just write our initials here, and when we decide we’re okay with Steve-”

“If” Gareth interrupted. 

“Fine. If we decide that we’re okay with Steve staying, we can cross out our names,” Janet said, miffed at being talked over, but choosing to move past it in favor of keeping the peace. 

She quickly began to jot down everyone’s initials, adding Steve’s right at the top just to keep up appearances. Eddie wasn’t exactly sure how they would explain that one, but hopefully Steve wouldn’t ask. He usually didn’t question things around the room unless they were particularly outlandish. 

“I’m fine with Steve,” Eddie said the second she wrote his initials. 

“We got that one, Eds,” Jeff replied with a good natured eye roll. Now that things were calming down again, he seemed way more relaxed. Janet clicked her tongue anyway, putting a thick white line through the E.M. she had just written. 

“I don’t mind him,” Kaiden tacked on. Janet shot him a quick nod, crossing out Kaiden’s initials, and then, surprisingly, her own.

“Janet?” Frank questioned. She shrugged, pausing for a second to ruffle his hair as she continued to write. She was the only one that didn’t see the way Frank’s face went beet red the moment she touched him. 

“He’s interesting,” She said, as if that was the only explanation she needed, “I’m a scientist. I like to experiment,” 

She finished with Gareth’s ‘G.L-W.’ turning to face the group. 

“Anyone else?” 

The rest of the club shook their heads, but Eddie couldn’t care less. He was already a third of the way there! And, there was no doubt in his mind that at least a few of them were going to be impressed with Steve’s gameplay today. 

After all Steve had been taught by the best. 

“Okay so, slightly modified parameters, but-” 

“Sorry I’m late!” Steve said as he burst into the room, cutting Janet off. 

If she was annoyed at being interrupted a second time, she didn’t let it slip. Instantly, she and Frank were back in their seats, her chalk abandoned, broken in two on the ground. The entire club did their best to look perfectly innocent, a truly terrible job that left them all seeming extremely, extremely, guilty. 

The only reason they got away with it was that Steve was way too caught up in rambling and trying to explain himself. 

“I’m so sorry, I was trying to get the kids set up in the library, because they want to come to my house after school for a sleepover. Winter break, right? But then they kept asking me question after question, and wanting to come watch me shoot hoops. They never want to watch me shoot hoops! Why now?! I swear this is what I get for letting them use my house to take pictures for the Snow Ball.” Steve groaned, getting stuck in his scarf as he tried to unwind it from around his head. 

Eddie laughed softly, getting up and coming around the table, slowly helping Steve get free of his yarn filled prison. 

“Are you going to chaperone this Sunday?” Eddie asked. Instantly his mind was filled with the image of Steve in a handsome black suit, a dark red rose sitting in his lapel and perfectly complimenting his ruby lips. 

Okay. File that under ‘Things Eddie was never allowed to think about again except when alone in his bedroom’. 

“Definitely not. I’m a babysitter, not a chaperone,” Steve said with a smirk, “I’ll let them get ready at my place and have a little after party there, and that should stop them from being arrogant whiny brats for a little while. Hope I didn’t miss anything though,” 

Just the rest of the club talking about using him as a human lab rat. 

“Nope,” Eddie lied smoothly, pulling Steve’s chair out for him and making a huge grand gesture for him to come sit. 

“Welcome to this side of the table,” Kaiden said from his seat across from Steve. Normally Gareth sat on Eddie’s right side, but since the first meeting that Steve had joined, his best friend had regulated himself to the corner as far from Eddie as he could get. 

Whatever. That was better anyway. Eddie didn’t care. 

(He cared so much more than he wanted to admit.) 

“Glad to be here?” Steve said, pulling out the folder Eddie had given him for all of his character sheets and looking around the group nervously. 

He didn’t have anything to worry about. Eddie had helped him to build a totally awesome persona. 

“It’s hell,” Frank sighed solemnly, patting Steve’s shoulder. 

“Hellfire,” Eddie corrected, the rest of the group groaning at his bad pun. He waved off their lack of appreciation for his fantastic word play, perching on his throne and raising a hand. 

“I would like to take a moment to recognize that this is a special occasion. We are here to celebrate the birth of Steve’s very first Dungeons and Dragons character,” Eddie said, pausing so the rest could react appropriately. 

Sure enough there was a round of foot stomping and table slapping. Steve startled at the noise, but quickly recovered, blushing, but still staring directly at Eddie with those big beautiful browns. 

God damn this brave, lovely, completely adorable boy. 

“May I introduce the former Prince of the realm, Level One Human Ranger Stefan of Herringtown. Stefan, Welcome to Hellfire,” Eddie said, pausing to give Steve a secretive wink and loving the way that the blush on the other boy’s cheeks traveled to his ears when he did. 

Stefan was, arguably, a pretty cool first time character. Steve lingered just on the edge of being a paladin, but he had enough chaotic energy that Ranger seemed to fit him better. He was a loyal to a fault kind of guy who had a habit for picking up strays, a smooth quick talking charm that tended to get him in and out of trouble, and a chip on his shoulder from being exiled from his kingdom. 

In short, he was Steve, but dungeons and dragonsified. Perfect for the first play through. 

With that settled, Eddie rolled his shoulders, settling himself into his dungeon master character and taking a long breath in. 

“Your party is starting off trekking across the frozen tundra,” He began, feeling the mood shift to excitement as the rest prepared themselves for his opener, “Your feet are freezing, and your fingers have gone numb, but you continue on anyway. You have heard tale of an abandoned factory at the highest point of the world- a place littered with treasures and everything a being could ever ask for. You want to see the place for yourselves, and maybe even loot some of the booty.” 

Rocky gave a vicious grin at this, chuckling softly to himself. His tiefling rogue was always looking to horde more treasure, and Rocky loved to get into character as quickly as he could. It was fun, it added something to the game. 

“You see a building and hurry closer, eager to get out of the biting frost. It is a dark unnatural place with high smoke stacks and mounds of coal sitting all around the entrance. You enter as one without thinking or stopping to check your surroundings, collapsing on the other side and panting to catch your breath. What is your first move, Goren the Great?” Eddie asked, starting on the far side of the table. 

Even if he and Gareth weren’t on the best of terms right now, Eddie still wouldn’t want to start a campaign with any other player. It just wouldn't feel right. 

“I do a perception check,” Gareth decided. Eddie nodded towards his d8, and Gareth grabbed it, throwing down a seven. 

“As a dwarf, you have spent many years hunting through mines for precious gems, so your ability to see in the dark is unparalleled. You can see strange boot shaped bags all around the room, and boxes that are wrapped with twine bows,” He said, watching as their brains began to spin with possibilities.

This was the best part. Watching his players try to figure out exactly what was going on around them was just so fun. 

“Well, I have a feeling we may have stumbled upon the right place. I can see treasure from corner to corner,” Gareth remarked, throwing his voice into a growling rumble, perfect for his hardened grizzled character. 

“I can’t see anything,” Jeff complained, getting into it. 

"That's because you are a stupid elf, and your stupid elf eyesight only works in the day,” Gareth replied, both of them holding back laughter. 

“How dare you?! You, you…tiny little man!” 

And then they were off, back and forth insults that were cheesy, yet sometimes creative. The club watched in amusement. Even Steve was snickering, and he normally tried to pretend he didn’t exist when it had anything to do with Gareth. Usually Eddie would try and focus the group back in, but he was happy to let them banter for a little while. 

This was the kind of fighting they should be doing. This was the Gareth Eddie knew, and getting to see that that guy was still somewhere in this new person was very comforting. 

“I am through with your impertinent conclusions,” Jeff huffed in mock exasperation, keeping his voice high and flighty as he did, “I am ready to take my turn, master of the game.” 

“Very well,” Eddie said, inclining his head and waiting to hear. 

“I open my bag and get out a torch, but I want to hit Goren with my bag as I do it,” Jeff said, the rest of the group immediately bursting into laughter.

“Roll 2 d8. One for hitting him, and one for how much light the torch is going to give you,” Eddie instructed, biting his lip to hide his smile. Jeff let the dice fly, getting an eight and a two respectively. 

“As you pull out your torch, you smack Goren right in the face with your bag. Goren loses one hit point,” Eddie said, making a note on his paper. 

“Ow!” 

“Oh, I am sooo sorry that was completely unintentional.” Jeff gasped sarcastically, holding a hand against his heart and raising his eyes to the sky. 

“Goren does not believe you, but he will hold his anger for later,” Eddie said, sliding in smoothly before another ‘argument’ could take place, “You light your torch, but the draft coming in through the broken windows makes the flame flicker and shrink. You can just see the edge of an image drawn on the wall,” 

“I want to examine the drawing,” Kaiden jumped in. 

“June Iper it is not your turn,” Eddie replied, referring to Kaiden by his character’s name. If they were doing things their normal way, then it would be Kaiden’s turn, but as it was, it was time for Rocky to go. 

Kaiden grumbled to himself, then sat up straight. He and Rocky made eye contact for a brief second before quickly scrambling to switch seats. 

“Now it is my turn,” Kaiden said, his head held high in victory. Eddie rolled his eyes but allowed it to slide, just happy that the two freshman boys were having a good time. He let Kaiden roll and then continued on, eager to get to the entrance of the main enemy. 

“You snatch the torch out of Boz’s hand, scampering up to the wall and holding it as high as you can, which isn’t very high at all,” Eddie pointed out. Kaiden’s character was a gnome, and Eddie never missed a chance to make a short joke at their expense, “The rest of the party can only see what looks like a chariot being dragged by cloven hoofed beasts.” 

“Wait a second,” Janet said, her face lighting up in realization. She turned to Eddie with her eyes narrowed, and he schooled himself into a completely innocent expression. 

“Yes Miss Ngyet?” He asked innocently, having a feeling she had already guessed where this one shot was going. 

“I take the torch from June so we can see better,” 

“Is there normally this much torch stealing?” Steve asked softly as Janet rolled, quirking his head to the side as he gave Eddie a raised brow. Before Eddie could respond, Frank interrupted. 

“Hey, you’re on our side now,” Frank said, nudging their arms together, “Ask us your questions,”

“Oh, sorry,” Steve apologized, turning towards Frank. 

Behind Steve’s back, Eddie gave Frank a grateful little smile. Sure, he was probably only being nice to Steve right now because Janet had said she was okay with him, but Eddie would take any kind of progress. Frank gave Eddie a short nod, and they settled back into their roles, continuing the game. 

“With Miss Ngyet’s extra height you can all see the full mosaic. Gasping in horror you finally recognize the picture you’re looking at. A man dressed in robes that are bathed in blood, a stampede of reindeer pulling his sledge. All at once the lights turn on in the factory, blinding you. There’s an ominous laughter from behind. Ho. Ho. HO.” Eddie roared. 

More light bulbs around the room as Jeff and Frank both caught on. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Jeff sighed, putting his face in his hands to muffle his laughter. Eddie grabbed the mini figure sitting in front of him, standing up and beginning the monologue he had practiced in front of the mirror all week. Wayne had nearly forced him to go outside to do it after the first few days of never ending repetition. 

“Your foe! A man turned God who knows the name of every child in the world, and watches endlessly. This God, who was once a benevolent overlord, loved to shower gifts upon those he deemed good, giving gentle reminders to those he saw being bad. Now he feasts upon the ‘Naughty’ alongside his favorite meal of milk and cookies,” Eddie ominously lowered his voice, coming to stand between Steve and Frank. 

Steve leaned backwards and turned his head. Frank did the same. 

“Is this what I think it is?” Steve whispered behind Eddie. 

“Yes,” Frank whispered back. 

“The demonous, the dastardly, the fat…” 

Eddie thrust the minifigure down onto the table, standing back as he hollered at the top of his lungs. 

“KRIS KRINGLE!” 

Eddie had been absolutely, completely, 100%, right. 

This was an epic one shot. 

After their initial reactions to finding out they were doing battle against Santa of all people, the rest of the club dove into the campaign with glee. Eddie had taken care to create an awesome story filled to the brim with little easter eggs, and they were eating up every bit of it. 

There were hypnotically enslaved elves, blood thirsty reindeer, exploding candy canes, even a section where the party had to sing Christmas songs to escape from a platoon of killer carolers.

Yeah he was biased, but Steve’s giggly rendition of WHAM’s new hit song was the best thing Eddie had ever heard in his life. 

Speaking of, the biggest shock of the game had to be how well Steve was doing. Eddie had honestly expected to have to subtly take it a little easy on him, but the jock was turning out to be one of the trickiest players he had ever gone up against. 

Sure, the math and the writing portion was a bit of a hiccup, but Steve’s strategic thinking was unexpectedly excellent, and he seemed to have a knack for survival. He had quickly made himself an invaluable player, and the rest had accepted him into the fold, if only for now. 

And the best part of it all was how much fun Steve was having. The smile on his face was bright, utterly joyful in a way Eddie had only seen once years ago. He had seen Steve smile plenty since then, but it was always quiet, kind of hidden away, like he was scared to show how much he was enjoying himself. 

But this was just…happy. Pure, clear, happy, with nothing standing in its way, and Eddie was drinking in the sight like a man in a desert who had found an oasis. 

After a grueling four hours, Hellfire had finally managed to kill off the final reindeer (Vixen had gone down in a blaze of glory) and release all of the elves from their mind manacles. 

There was just one foe left. 

“As the not-so-jolly man with a bag gently lays his last beast on the ground, he looks up at you all with complete rage in his eyes,” Eddie said in a hushed tone, letting things get as quiet as possible before exploding into sound.

“Naughty! You are All on my naughty list!” Eddie declared, slapping his hand on the table before standing and reaching over his binder to point, “You! And You! And You! And-” 

“Steve?”

Eddie paused mid monologue, his finger still hovering in the air directed at Janet. All of them turned around as one, facing their new intruder. 

Little Red was in the doorway, staring back at them with big eyes. A mischievous grin quickly overtook her face and she opened the door wide, crossing her arms and smugly jutting her chin out at her babysitter.

“Shooting hoops, huh?” 

“Max? Why are you here? Where are the boys?” Steve asked, quickly getting up from the table and coming to her side. The anxiety coloring his tone was unexpected, and Eddie felt himself wilt a little as all of Steve’s walls seemed to have pulled back up in a snap. 

“Down the hall. We’re fine,” Max said, quickly reassuring him and dropping her act. Steve relaxed for a second, but then stiffened once more as she peeked her head around his side. She waved, and the rest of the group waved back. 

“Shooting hoops,” She repeated, raising a brow, “You know, Steve, I’ve never played basketball, but it looks a lot more like Dungeons and Dragons than I expected it too,”

“How long have you known?” Steve sighed.

“That you were lying?” Max asked for clarification, “The whole time. You’re a bad liar, and Billy just couldn’t shut up about how you were benched from playing, and he was going to be the one leading the team now. I wasn’t expecting you to be doing this though. I thought you were meeting up with a girl.” 

“I’ll pay you real money to not tell the others,” Steve said, completely serious. 

Max tapped on her chin, a move that was so reminiscent of Janet that Eddie had to stifle a laugh. He didn’t want to call any attention to himself right now, too invested in seeing how this would all play out. 

“How much?” She asked, giving him a shrewd eye. 

“Five bucks?” Steve offered, sounding slightly desperate. 

Max hummed, making faces as she pretended to consider it. 

“Not enough,” She finally decided with a cute little shrug, sticking her head into the hallway and shouting for the boys to come. 

A stampede of footsteps and hollering began in the distance and Steve groaned, shooting Max a look of utter betrayal before turning to pout at Eddie. 

“Lord, help me,” Steve sighed. 

“Nay, I shan't. Lord Kringle has deemed you naughty, Stefan, there is no hope for you now,” Eddie replied, shaking his head. Steve did not seem at all amused by this, but the rest of the club was chuckling, exchanging wry little grins. 

“Oh, are we about to meet Harrington’s famous children?” Kaiden wondered aloud, already knowing the answer. 

“Don’t,” Steve warned with zero heat in his voice, seemingly already resigned to what was about to happen. He was rubbing at his temple, his eyes shut with a look of pure exhaustion on his face. 

Max patted him twice on the arm before coming over to look at the board, looking over Steve’s character sheets with glee. 

“Hey Little Red,” Eddie said. 

“Hi, Steve’s friend,” She replied with a smirk, “You guys are gonna have fun watching this,” 

Before anyone could ask what she meant, a veritable horde of boys burst into the room. They were once again all talking over each other, but this seemed to just be the way the boys communicated. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike all stayed crowded around Steve yelling at him, while Will began to look around. 

Max quietly whistled, jerking her head and catching Will’s attention. He obediently trotted over, and she showed him what she had found, both of them exchanging quiet whispers that even Eddie couldn't make out over the other kids shouting. 

“Why are you not in the library?” Steve griped, managing to raise his voice above theirs. 

“We finished our campaign and got bored. You’re taking forever, we’re hungry, and we want to see El,” Mike whined, crossing his arms and glaring at his babysitter. 

“What are you doing anyway?” Dustin asked, trying to look around Steve.

“Nothing,” Steve said quickly, pushing Dustin’s head back in front of him, “Get out. I’ll come get you guys in like an hour, or you can walk back to your own houses,”

“Who are they?” Lucas wondered, ignoring Steve’s minor threat. Everyone in the room already knew how hollow it was, “This is definitely not the gym,” 

Eddie was sure Steve had some sort of excuse, something he had cooked up to explain why he was here, but he was not eager to hear it. Sure, Eddie understood why Steve might have wanted to have something that was ‘just his’ (or, at least, he respected it), but the rest of the club wouldn’t. They would definitely think Steve was trying to hide the fact that he knew them, and that would reinforce everything Gareth was saying. 

No matter what, this was not going to go down well, and would probably erase any progress that had been made. 

Luckily for both of them, Will Byers decided that this was the moment to speak up. 

“Steve?” Will said, catching everyone’s attention, “Are you…playing DnD?”

Tension thick as a thousand page novel blanketed them all. Dustin gasped in an extremely melodramatic fashion, and Mike blew past Steve, storming over and slamming his hands down on the table, making all of the figures tremble. Steve seemed lost for words, turning back to give Eddie a ‘help me’ look of terror. 

So, Eddie did what he did best. 

He caused a little chaos. 

“Why yes, young small one, he is playing Dungeons and Dragons,” Eddie said with a tricky grin, loving the explosion of mayhem that came right after, 

Tag List: @paopaupaus @zerokrox-blog @surferboyzaza @whatever-is-a-good-name @minjintea @addelyin @5ammi90 @hagbaby420 @shinekocreator @bornonthesavage @starxlark @electrick-marionnett @resident-gay-bitch @ash-a-confused-enby @classicdinosaurdeathpose @valon-whomsttf @rotten-lil-goblin @thereindeerlady @love-ya-kash @kerlypride @sparkle-fiend @thefreakandthehair @flowercrowngods @milf-harrington @sadcanadianwinter @gothbat99 @hotcocoaharrington @henderdads @lightwoodbanethings @colorful565 @h0n3y-dw @craterbbox @sourw0lfs @lesliiieeeee @bidisastersworld @tinynebula @ravnlinn @bonescaro @mexmatch @cottagecoredreams @joruni @hellykelly @maegan1116 @farewell-wanderlvst @desertfern @due-to-the-fact-that-im-a-slut @anythingforourmoonyedits @eerielake @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sidekick-hero

[sserpente]

After Christmas

“This wasn't the first time you ran from the police, was it?”

Eddie grinned. “Nah.”

Words: 1452 Warnings: fluff and… running from the police I guess?

“What do I do?” Flabbergasted, you stared at the game board before you, blinking as if their position would change on their own accord.

Your party had packed up and left about ten minutes ago and while Eddie was gathering his super-secret DM notes, you made no move to get going as well.

“They’re gonna save you,” Eddie replied matter-of-factly. “They have to. If you die, they’ll never be able to infiltrate the castle.”

Your character had been abducted by an NPC today, one you had thought you could trust because damn, Eddie was the best Dungeon Master you had ever played D&D with. The way he told the stories, described what was happening, set the scene and acted out the non-player characters… he was incredible, and it was hardly short of a miracle you’d quickly—secretly—developed a crush on him.

And now, one of the sexiest NPCs he had made up for your character to unintentionally drool over had kidnapped them and dragged them to their secret lair. A vampire… eager to turn you into their obedient and pretty little spawn.

“She’s gonna turn into what she hates the most!”

“She might not if your party saves her in time.”

“Eddie, what am I supposed to do in the next session? What’s gonna happen to her?”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. She’s not lost yet. Strahd’s obsessed with her. He’s not gonna hurt her, he won’t let her die. He might, uh…” Eddie paused and gave you a timid glance. “He might take her for dinner and then hang out with her at Lover’s Lake, trying to win her over?”

“Are you asking me out right now?”

“Maybe?”

Your heart jumped. “Jesus, I’ve been waiting for you to do that since we first met! I was too shy to ask you…”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

You chuckled. “Yes.”

“A-alright then…” he laughed, cheeks turning red. “What do you fancy?”

“I’m happy with a burger and fries. And then a beer after?”

Eddie nodded. “Sure. Let’s go.” He was beaming. And all of a sudden, his super-secret DM notes were all but forgotten. You were rather proud of that, truth be told.

Heavens, the boy was nervous. Gone was the dominant and confident dungeon master giving your characters a hard time—instead, Eddie tried his utmost best to be a gentleman. He opened the car door for you, insisted on paying for your burger and fries, and Jesus, the little touches he stole had you melt.

“Look what I got,” he said once you’d both finished your meal at Benny’s. He pulled out a small and crumbled plastic bag filled with two pre-rolled cigarettes.

“Is that what I think it is?” you asked, lowering your voice.

“Yep. That shit’s strong as fuck. Rick let me keep two for myself, for a special occasion.”

You smiled, tilting your head at him. “Oh? Am I the special occasion?”

“Yes. You are.” He called you by your character name, putting on his Strahd voice in the process. You giggled as if you were drunk. Drunk on him. God, you probably were.

“Hey, Eddie? What would happen if my character did end up turning into a spawn?” you asked as you walked back to his van and made your way toward Lover’s Lake. It was pitch-black outside by now, the street lanterns doing little to illuminate anything but the road ahead of you which made driving directly into the woods almost a little scary, especially with all the snow around you.

“Well… I’d be able to control her. She’d be bound to obey Strahd which means he could order her to turn on her own friends if he wanted to.”

“It’s starting to sound a little like Beauty and the Beast though. If Strahd takes her out for burgers and then a romantic get-together by the lake, I don’t think she’d mind being his spawn.”

“Oh, you say that now.” Eddie grinned as if he’d already planned the most evil campaign he could possibly think of. “I’ll keep her… I mean he… he’ll keep her all to himself.”

Blushing, you looked out of the window in an attempt to calm your rapid heartbeat. Mere moments later and before you could drown yourselves in silence, the car came to a stop. Eddie parked only a few yards away from the lake and shut off the engine before helping you climb out and then retrieved a picnic blanket from the boot.

“You came prepared.”

“A DM has to be ready for all eventualities.”

“Like kidnapping an elf princess?”

“Like kidnapping an elf princess and seducing her to stay with him until she falls in love with him.”

Soon enough, you were smoking together, cuddling, and watching the surface of the quiet lake glisten under the stars. You talked about D&D, music, dreams, love, and life… until you were pretty certain that you had found the one.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I never thanked you. When I moved here, I expected to be an outsider all over again. Let’s face it, society doesn’t like people like us. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Thank you. You’re a hero, you know. A rockstar.”

Eddie smiled, his cheeks reddening. He looked absolutely adorable in the pale moonlight. What if you simply… leaned forward and kissed him? It would be so easy… you’d been wanting to do it for so long, and now that you were here, by the lake, in the dark, just the two of us… there was nothing stopping anymore, now was there?

“Munson? Is that you, kid?” Hopper. In other words—police. Damn it. Panicked, you scrambled back to your feet in an attempt to destroy the evidence of weed. But there was no way of course you’d be able to get rid of the smell before he reached you.

“Shit. Come with me. Run.”

Eddie grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him through the forest before you had properly processed his sudden flight instinct. But then again, it probably wasn’t the first time he got in trouble with the chief…

Through the trees you went, running until you were out of breath and giggling all the way until the sweet metalhead beckoned you into what you could only describe as a boathouse. Empty beer cans and tools were lying around, a couple of fishing rods along the side.

“In here, quick!” He pointed at the boat and pulled the tarp back so you could hide inside. You climbed in and watched how he all but jumped into the boat himself and then drew the plastic cover over the both of you.

Silence, heavy breathing. The scent of weed, cigarette smoke, and his leather jacket filling your nostrils…

It was a lot more comfortable than you’d expected. Someone—either Rick or Eddie himself—had loaded a shit ton of blankets in the boat, presumably to hang out in… or to do other activities. Either way, you weren’t going to complain. It was cosy. Cheeky.

“This wasn't the first time you ran from the police, was it?” You shuffled closer, smirking at him.

Eddie grinned. “Nah.”

“He’s gonna find your car eventually.”

“Yeah. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. Rick won’t mind if we hide out here until it’s clear.”

His grin turned downright mischievous—you couldn’t see it properly, of course. But you could certainly feel it instead, especially when he pulled out a green plant-looking object out of the inner pocket of his battle jacket.

“What’s that? More weed? It’s too dark, I can’t tell.”

“It’s a mistletoe. Stole it from our neighbour when she threw out her Christmas tree.”

“Wait… how long has that been in your pocket?”

“A few days. Guess I was, uh… waiting for the right moment.” He didn’t have to say it. That moment was now.

Smiling, you cupped his face in your hands and pulled him close for a kiss. His soft lips moved against yours almost timidly even though it became clear fast he had experience. You wrapped your leg around his hips, a sigh escaping you when he got a little braver and deepened the kiss by teasingly sliding his tongue across your lower lip.

“Damn…” Eddie whispered when you both broke away for air.

“Do you think he gave up?” You whispered. Your lips grazed his, his taste lingering in your mouth.

“Probably. But we should probably stay here… for a while… you know… just to be sure.”

You grinned. “I can think of a few things to pass the time. I hope you brought condoms too.”

“Damn…” Eddie said again. It was the last word either of you spoke for the next hours.

A/N: Damn, how is the year almost over?! Oh well! I've got one last New Year's Imagine planned to post on the 31st, you can vote which character I should write it for if you like! ♥

[livwritesstuff]

More steddie dads content I really want some Eddie centered like teaching the girls guitar or dnd especially since Robbie is like him I think that they’d bind over a shared interest and he’d teach her stuff from when he was younger!

lol yeah the last few have def been more steve-centric (and also kind of a bummer) so let's switch up the vibe a bit

So, yes, Robbie is Eddie's daughter through and through.

She's stubborn and brazen and loud in her opinions and beliefs. She can be a little flippant about other peoples' feelings when she's not careful, and sometimes struggles to acknowledge the validity in other experiences outside of her own - in other words, she's Eddie to a T. She's even got the same big curly hair (though it's way more well-maintained than Eddie's had been thanks to Steve).

As for hobbies, Robbie is the only one out of Eddie and Steve's three daughters to really take an interest in music.

Eddie is thrilled about this, especially in the early days when Robbie is seven or eight and dying to try out any instrument they put in front of her. She has a natural proclivity for nearly all of them, which is fucking wild to Eddie, but the violin is the one she takes a particular shining towards.

Eddie can't say he'd ever had a resounding interest in classical music, but he wants to support Robbie so he dives into it right along with her.

That shit...

is metal as hell.

Seriously rad.

Eddie anxiously waits for her to be old enough to try out his old electric guitar. He waits until she's fifteen years old - the same age he'd been when he'd gotten his first electric - and then he digs it out of storage and bestows it upon her like the exquisite treasure it truly is.

In true teenager fashion, Robbie is...unimpressed.

She humors him for a bit, and to her credit, she does seem at least a bit intrigued by the almost forty-year-old guitar, but when Eddie offers to show her how to play, she only shrugs.

"I don't want to mess with my technique," she tells him, as if she's not shattering his heart into a bazillion tiny pieces.

"What does that even mean?"

"I dunno," she shrugs again.

Later, once the guitar has been safely put away, Eddie recounts the exchange to Steve.

"I just don't get it," he laments, "She'd be so good at it! I don't get why she won't just give it one chance."

"She's you, my love," Steve tells him, "Are you forgetting all the years you spent rejecting everything outside of what you deemed acceptable. You grew out of it. She will too."

So Eddie resigns himself to waiting it out. Robbie ends up deciding she wants make a career out of playing the violin, and she goes to New York to get her bachelors in music.

Just as Steve had predicted, once she hits college and grows up a little bit, she starts seeing the value in the world outside of the small corner of it she occupies. She comes home from her first semester regaling them with all the things she'd learned, and she catches Eddie by surprise when she asks him to bring out his old electric guitar.

Eddie and Robbie jam in the basement for like five hours before Steve insists they go the fuck to bed, and that "Hazel has school in the morning, in case you lunatics forgot."

(As for dnd, looking at it from the perspective of teenage girls, Steve and Eddie's kids absolutely do not want to think about their dad DM-ing. Eddie can't even breathe the wrong way without his daughters calling him out for being cringe or whatever, never mind executing a whole campaign. They'd die of embarrassment - guaranteed.

Robbie does get super into MTG in college, which Eddie absolutely takes as a personal F-You from his daughter. He gets his revenge by refusing her offers to teach him to play, even though it honestly sounds like a fuckin' blast, but that's a hill he's willing to die on)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a DND campaign abruptly?

Some backstory: I had joined a DND game about 5 years ago right after breaking up with my toxic ex at the time. Me and my ex were both trying to be cordial at this time and ended up both joining a DND game run by a mutual friend.

In our first session, I had noticed my ex made her character be a parody of me that she made look like an awful person. She then kept dm-ing me during our sessions to tell me how to play my character better and other general backseat gaming stuff.

Very quickly, maybe about a month in, I contacted the DM about leaving the campaign due to wanting to distance myself from my ex. She was very upset I wanted to leave and offered to kick my ex from the group instead. I declined saying it would only cause more drama. The DM agreed to let my character go off at the end of the activity we were gonna do that session so it would make sense story-wise.

But this departure did not happen. after that conversation she vague-posted onling about how people dont want to be her friend. She then purposefully kept extending this part of the plot, just so I wouldnt leave the game and could realize it could still be fun. I told her outright I could not do this anymore after 3 more additional sessions and telling me she'll get to my character's exit soon. I always felt like an ass to the other players in the game for leaving them abruptly but I could not do it anymore.

Fast forward roughly 4 years, the DM tells me she is going to make a new campaign and would like for me to join since my ex was no longer in it. I agreed as I had missed playing DND a lot.

For the past year or so I have been in this campaign and it can be fun at times but I still feel out of place. This new session is a direct continuation of the previous campaign's storyline and regularly references it. Now, as far as I know my ex's character has not been referenced at all but I am constantly reminded of this situation whenever they mention a character's name I don't remember (because honestly I don't remember her characters name nor do I want to). I know I said to not bring her up around me but I don't quite trust this friend to keep her word. Simply because I don't think she ever remembers anything I tell her out of a place of... just not caring.

The DM and I just don't quite mesh that well. I don't really like her DM-ing style of making it up as the session happens. I don't like that she will constantly decide what my character is doing, even if I ask to do something, she tells me to roll to see if i can, i can get a nat20 and she will still decide what my character will do next based on what she thinks is funnier to her but makes my next action harder to accomplish.

I have dm'd her to talk about the progression of my character arc (after she constantly implys in session my character is the comedic relief and doesnt have any character development) and she'll go ooo and aaa (literally all she would say) but never actually implement anything I recommend.

I kept saying to myself it will get better in time. I have voiced my wants for my character, and they are ignored. In session, my character actions are essentially decided for me no matter how I roll the dice. It feels weird to be around half of the party bc they spent 4 years in a campaign with my ex who played a parody of me. esp hard after the DM keeps making me be the comedic relief even though I keep trying to play more seriously. other players constantly joke about how my character is gonna be the one that gets them all killed etc because of actions I dont necessarily decide.

Now as mentioned before, DM is also known to vague-blog about how "her friends secretly hate her" at any moment as well. This has happened before after I tried to "real talk" with her a handful of times over unrelated topics too (even if she initiates this conversation)

Given everything above, I want to leave this DND game after giving it a try for a year (really giving it an opportunity to improve). We left off with my character running off alone to get supplies for the party. I was thinking I could make a statement saying I had some personal things come up and I need to leave the game abruptly and leave it to the DM to decide what to do with my character.

Now I feel like I may be the AH because: I am leaving the game abruptly for a second time technically. I would contact the DM on how to make it make sense for my character to depart, but I feel like she will do the same thing as before with the previous campaign and keep putting it off, especially after ignoring my character growth ideas for a year in this current campaign. I also feel like I may be the AH because in character my group does need those supplies, but there is nothing stopping the DM from controlling my character to deliver supplies within the first 5 minutes of the next session.

[symphonic-scream]

I'm still working out details for the P5 D&D au, so I'm just gonna lay out what I have and if anyone has any ideas, let me know

Their DM is Morgana, and the other Phantom Thieves are the players.

Goro isn't a player at first, since the character he ends up playing was supposed to be the big bad. However, that changes, and Morgana asks him to fill in and play as a player for that character later on

I. Only have three characters worked out. The rest are just, race and class

Akira is playing "Joker", a mysterious Eladrin Rogue with a haunted past, who lurks in the shadows and wants to become a folk legend, like the takes told to scare children into obeying. He's also horny

Ryuji is playing a half-orc Barbarian

Ann is playing a human Sorcerer

Yusuke is playing a drow Warlock

Makoto is playing "Just", an outcast tiefling monk looking for a place to belong, without having to accept torment or compromise their morals. Her character uses varied pronouns

Haru is playing "Ulyssa Noir", a former noble half-elf Paladin who discovered the dark deeds of her family, and left to atone for their evils, pledging herself to a just and good god, planning to return one day to convince her family to seek salvation

Futaba is playing a Tabaxi Artificer

Sumire is playing a halfling Ranger

And, Goro eventually takes up the role of an Aasimar Blood Hunter

I'm down for ideas of names and shit, I'm just having fun, this all sparked from my recent love of Dungeon Meshi so, aha, yeah

-

But! The plot of the au outside of the campaign is pretty mellow. Morgana and Akira are brothers, Akira adopted him so he wouldn't be in their foster home without him, and they live with Ann and Ryuji. Haru is Morgana's tutor and Tea buddy, and who introduces the young nerd to D&D. Akira invites the other players to the table, having met them all during chance encounters and such

So, everyone but Morgana and Haru are new to the game. Akira knows a bit, and uses it to torment his lil brother.

Anyways. Yeah

[spacemonkeysalsa]

Somebody (okay like a lot of people) said being attracted to a character makes it hard to be objective about them. So, for science (eh, for fun) I have interviewed a lesbian with nearly 3000 hours in Baldur's Gate 3 with questions about Astarion:

Q: Hi. I know you are a lesbian, but that doesn't preclude being attracted to Astarion, so let's also establish objectivity according to the experts. Are you attracted to Astarion at all?

A: No. It's kind of devastating to me because I love vampires. But apparently they do have to be lady vampires.

Q: Perfect. Have you ever tried to romance him anyway?

A: I started a couple of games with the intention of romancing him. It never worked out. I always end up with Shadowheart. Or Lae'zel.

Q: Do you like him, as a character?

A: Yeah. He's great.

Q: Ever kill him in any of your playthroughs?

A: Only to resurrect him, to see his lines. But I've never permanently killed him.

Q: Why not?

A: Because I like his story. I don't always enjoy talking to him about his story, because he's a bit much. But I want him to have that development and see it through. Be happy and free! Fuck Cazador. What a bitch.

Q: Is he an asshole?

A: Yes, but he's a lovable asshole. As much any of the others. Well, some of the others. Let's be fair.

Q: What's his alignment like?

A: I don't understand DnD alignment.

Q: For the record, have you played DnD?

A: Yes. I still don't get it. I have played for years now and this is all I know: lawful tends to equal "the worst in your group." There are exceptions though, like obviously I love Shadowheart, even though she starts off pretty strictly obeying Sharran dogma. Chaotic means "fun." Most party members in any given campaign say they are one thing but then act as true neutrals. And if you participate in a torture session with a DM controlled NPC and you forget to ask any questions, then your alignment will get shifted mid campaign. I learned that recently.

Q: I have no comment on that besides that maybe you should have listened to the bard in your party telling you this was stupid and pointless?

A: I wasn't running the torture session, I just held her still! I'm an accessory. I'm a barbarian, I can't be expected to think shit through or pay any attention to you when you speak.

Q: ...So can Astarion fall in love?

A: He's perfectly capable of that.

Q: If you had to guess his sperm count...?

A: Why would anyone ever care about that? Even if he were a real person? Why would anyone give a shit? Is this really a talking point? Fuck. I hate you guys. Just play the game.

Q: Whose your favorite companion?

A: Shadowheart.

Q: Tell me what you like about her?

A: The process of getting to know her, delving underneath that shell of secrets. She's so strong and sweet even through she can't easily show it right away because of all the bullshit she's been taught. In early access, when I couldn't get her out of the pod, either because that wasn't an option in the game yet, or I was too stupid, I've never figured it out, I was devastated. I didn't even know her yet, but I was so in love from the very beginning.

Q: Aww, that's really nice. What character do you think you are most like?

A: Karlach and Lae'zel. Maybe more Karlach, but definitely both. Not that Karlach isn't great, but I wish I was more like Lae'zel.

Q: And I should probably end on an Astarion question again since that was kind of the point. What about him do you find relatable, assuming that's anything?

A: I totally relate to wanting to put up a front to protect yourself. Can't relate to the method at all but the motivation is solid. Also, even though I have never romanced him, I have seen his DTR dialogue, and I really love it. I love how honest he is about his feelings. It's not romantic to be uncertain, but he doesn't care about that anymore, because he's just being totally transparent. It might seem weird that I would say that while being down bad for the least transparent character in the game, but that's a trait I personally value in myself more than a partner. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice, but for me I really try to be honest about what I am feeling. You can't DTR with Shadowheart really, the equivalent would be the stupid "you've never been in a relationship like this have you?" dialogue option which is never what I would say irl, but it's all I get in the game, and I think she's telling the truth when you have that conversation. With Astarion, it's so obvious. He's so obvious. I'm like that. I think it's very cool that you see that development in him, going from lying to survive to just being totally readable. Whether you're romancing him or not, by act three you know exactly what he's really about. Or if you don't, you haven't been talking to him, or like failed all your insight checks or something.

Q: Thanks! You were great. Anything to add?

A: Shadowzel forever.