#platonic connections and friendships definitely feels like where i need to focus

[pessimisticprincess]

so this is pathetic of me but does anybody wanna help me learn to become a better friend let me befriend you and we make sure we always talk/text in someway everyday even if its just once like no matter what we always check in w each other? i think i’m gonna try bumble friend thingy but maybe there’s a mutual here who feels the same way as me

[nicromancytarot]

DESCRIBING YOUR SOUL TRIBE PART 2

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides about your soul tribe (again) and how you will know that you’ve met them, pick a pile and find out what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

Your soul tribe will come to you during a time when you feel lost and alone, you may be around superficial friends, I’m hearing “financial” so these previous friends could abuse or exploit you financially. You will be having a really hard time before you meet them, I think this will last for around 2-4 weeks, and you will notice a mental shift in your head. One second you appreciate your current friends and are willing to look past the many issues, and the next you’re in need of comfort and feel sick, possibly physically when you’re around them.

You may meet these people through some type of transaction, you may meet them when you’re at work and possibly serving them, or perhaps you’re at the same shop buying something. Even if not, it could be you have to work with them for a school or work project, something where you all gain from. With how random these meeting will be, you may feel picky and almost against making new friends and meeting new people, you could possibly feel as though the universe is giving you another lesson. These people may keep an eye on you when you meet, they may notice something energetically up with you, and feel the need to protect you or as if they have a duty of care. I heard the word “dirty” so heavy on people playing dirty with you.

I see that they will comfort you, and you will be willing to let go of those that don’t matter to you anymore, you could think that old friends do mean something for a little, but they will help you put it into perspective, and eventually walk away from the people who don’t deserve you.

I’m getting these people as only friends, possibly 2-3 people, no romantic soulmates for this pile, only platonic.

PILE 2

I feel as though you guys will meet your soul tribe at at time of heavy isolation, I’m weirdly getting that some of you could be grounded? Lmao. I think you’re going to be making a commitment during this time, I assume to some type of work or job, there’s something that you’re trying to raise money for. For a lot of you, I assume these people will be online friends, I definitely feel as though there will be a distance between you guys, very much physically rather than mentally.

When meeting these people, you’ll need to have a lot of patience with yourself don’t doubt what you deserve, the universe is very much making way for those people to enter. For you guys, I think it’s going to be important to have a mental glow up, you need to focus on what you need mentally, rather than what you want.

There could be a possibility for relocation, some of you may actually end up moving over to the areas in which your soul people live. If you do not move away to another place, then your soul tribe is going to help you cut ties from ex friends, relationships (I heard “husbands” too.) Their main purpose is to help you move on from those who don’t serve you in the place where you are at.

From this, a few of you may end up in relationship, you could either meet someone through these friends, or you could meet them as one of these friends, continue a friendship for a while and then end up together eventually. I feel like it’s important to say that you will not ruin the friendship between anybody if you decide to date this person, this is a very much long term, if not forever relationship.

You’ll know you’ve met these people when you feel as though your life has been completed and you are surrounded only by people who keep you safe and protected. When you are able to fall asleep next to one of these people, or when you feel as though your brain has quieted down, that’s how you’ll know.

PILE 3

I feel as though you guys will meet your soul tribe during a time of change, at a point where you are letting the light guide you, this light may be spirituality for a lot of you, for the rest of you I think it’s your intuition. You’re surrendering to the feeling of trusting the universe and where it will take you. At this point when you let go of control and stress, that’s when these people enter your life.

For you, it will be a mix of either men and women, or masculines and feminines. The time when these people become important to you will be when you begin a new project, for some of you you may open a business, become higher up in your job, and end up hiring people for your business, or getting to know more people at your job. I see you guys working together a lot, particularly building something new - so I’m really feeling that for the majority of you, this is a business that you are running, and hiring individuals to help you out. Your work family will become more than a work family for sure.

These people may even help you out with your identity, the mixture of masculine and feminine energies, whether fully male, female, or a mix of all - will help you find out who you want to be. There may be a couple of people, particularly feminines that you look up to, and you may even lowkey idolise before you come full circle and become friends with them.

As the same with pile 1, you may feel physically sick, tired, confused, mentally exhausted the few weeks before getting up and beginning to become the person who you want to be. Don’t lose hope when you feel like this, this is just a sign of change and a massive switch, it will suck in the moment, however it will be so good in the long run.

I don’t think you guys will find a romantic partner through this group, I feel as though that may be a separate thing that will come along either soon after, or perhaps soon before.

[humblepoet26]

Re: Random Mutual What do you think about age gaps (ie 25/35) ? I met someone new on here -- a new mutual -- and -there are definite sparks- although she's significantly younger than me, my battleship has been sank, girl! She reminds me of 2 friends that were both very important to me in different ways, and I'm stunned by the combo. I'm doing my best to be wholesome and focus on being her friend, but there's definitely some underlying tension (and she's totally teasing me, by her own admission) -- 👉👈😭 (really, 🤤). It's mutual attraction - we're talking a lot, and will continue talking for a long time -- the AU/US time-zone gap (15 hours) is tough. We've exchanged voice notes and YIKES her voice is alluring to me... ...Argh!! Grace, I X'd out of a Tumblr tab and there was a .GIF of someone getting fingered, Grace Pls Why You do This?! 😆 I've explained how I feel to her, but I also feel like she's determined to break my will to keep things fairly SFW-ish (and I definitely want her). So yeah, I'm FLOORED, but at the same time trying to be safe, mature, respectful and overall, decent. Thoughts?

Hi lovely, oooh someone asking for my advice? This is so sweet (I literally had a dream last night about someone asking for my opinion (weird coincidence? lol) but it was in a crowded place and everyone was staring at me and i hate being the centre of attention so I ran away but I will not run away from helping you 😋). I'm a lil confused though cause you go between asking my personal opinion/preference about age gaps but in which the way you've explained the situation, wouldn't it be your preference in age gap? To then referencing her like you may already have some of your answers? but I'll do my best. (Apologies in advance if this doesn't make a spick of sense and or it being all over the place though 😅)

Personally I'm not very fussed by age gaps (to a degree) but as long as it consensual and mutual. if I find a person who clicks with my soul, their age isn't the priority feeling. But it's also a personal preference to some I suppose, some prefer to be in a certain bracket which is totally respectable too.

By the seems of it, if she's playing cheeky with you, you've established a safe spacefor her to be comfortable to do so already that's so good start and if you both already have a mutual attraction with the way y'all talk, she mustn't seem to mind the age gap either? So your ship is not sank lovely, just weathered. But do they not know your true age though? If not, that should be the next step in the connection and communication, is being truthful with her, let off your chest all the things you think she would be worried about and you'll know more of how it'll pan out by how she reacts and handles that information.

But also congrats for meeting a mutual and hitting it off so well, tumblr doesn't regret being your unintentional matchmaking service 😜. sounds by the combo she is important to you, but remember she is not the other people she reminds you of either though and her qualities and feelings will differ to what you had from them, she is a whole new person with a new outlook. you can't hold the expectations of what they provided, from her, let her be herself and she'll show you who she is.

You said you've explained how you feel, yes? But do you know how she feels? maybe ask her what she feels and what her intentions are maybe? So you both have more of an idea and understanding where you're both at and where to balance eachothers feelings/intentions/expectations from. Have a deeper conversation together, be honest with eachother. But you also don't need to label anything too fast either, if you just want platonic flirting and friendship, don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for that.

If she's teasing you with your consent and you like it, tell her. I think she might enjoy knowing how much you enjoy her being like that and knowing what it makes you feel, it may improve the bond of the dynamic you're playing with.

Timezones are a hella bummer but if you've made it work so far, there's hope for it to keep improving. But remember you both have different lives in different countries and things/timings will effect that so respect eachothers boundaries. The time they choose to share with us is a gift. But hey don't even get me started on voices, you're talking to someone who melts at certain voices/accents/languages/tones in general, so I feel ya on that one 🫠 all i can say is good luck not dying everytime they speak 🤷‍♀️😘

There's also how long have you been talking to her? Cause you said she's a new mutual, is she consistent with respecting you and being a true friend outside of the fun you play around with? Does she make you feel safe to be yourself and provide a comfortable space to talk to/share yourself with?

You say you're struggling with the will to keep it mostly sfw-ish but you want her? Ask yourself are you wanting to break the line between sfw and nsfw? What will that look like if you do? If so is it something you'll still enjoy? Or would you rather keep it how it is? I don't think there's a time limit on how you treat this situation, you can play it out as slowly or as fast as you desire but I suppose it's on your terms of what you're comfortable to share or how much you're willing to be/give yourself with/around them. Do they make you feel comfortable? Do they respect your boundaries? Are they open with you? Do they care for you as a person? Do you trust them? This should all come before letting them fuck around with you. Or would you rather stay what you have and cherish the bond to maybe grow into something later? To keep learning them for now? If you are both being open, respectful and honest with eachother you shouldn't worry what anyone thinks except eachother and just do what feels right.

I hope this helped in some/any form? & if it didn't, then I apologise 😅 but all the best to figuring it all out together and have fun, life's too short to not take on opportunities (or people) you want to enjoy.

And ahah the gif 🤭 well oops, can't blame me, it was the late hours of tumblr and I'm not responsible for the feelings my reposting gives if you follow me 😜 I get a lil unhinged around here sometimes 🤷‍♀️

[castlebyersafterdark]

anon mentioned the scene where mike takes el's hands off him to sing as evidence he is gay. yeah, he could be grossed out by her, but more likely he just loved that part of the song. same with s4 when they argue and break up - mike asks 'who said i didnt love you?' which is not tactful, but its still a valid question and this alone doesnt MEAN he does not love her.

to me its clear that one of the themes of Stranger Things is duality and the integration of two halves of one thing (good and bad, light and dark, monster and superhero, the shadow self and the conscious self), and i really dislike how the show's ambiguity has been demonized by people who need answers about mike (and will) NOW instead of waiting for the whole show to finish. life is usually both and so is this show. things like the rain scene: will is both gay and behind his friends in growing up. mike and el: he could have been both into it/the idea of it/the physical feeling, but then realised his love for will superseded that. his and will's friendship is both platonic and romantic, and will remain so, because they are friends first and lovers second.

i was a casual viewer who adored the show but didnt analyse, like you. i find it so odd that many fans focus on WHAT happens (a kiss, for eg) rather than HOW it happens, and need all this black and white evidence for byler endgame when actually, a few looks and the writing itself tells you so much about where they're headed. for example, its definitely a choice by the writers to not have mike and el just cosily talking rather than kissing as s3 opens. it actually removes intimacy for their entire relationship going forward to have them kiss but not have a proper conversation. when compared to byler's many intimate heart to hearts, it speaks volumes about how the duffers regard true intimacy and love - and yet, for so many, romance is made up purely of kisses and physical expressions of love rather than conversation or emotional connection.

Not much to add but interesting points and observations!!!

[gay-otlc]

Lodestar Recap

Nothing but facts here

Sophie needs so much help with her trich-

Fitz is more upset about losing Keefe than losing Alvar.

Sophie is nonbinary

Sophie is also extremely gay for Biana

Keefe needs therapy. So much therapy.

Grady has some unresolved feelings about Jolie joining the Neverseen that he takes out on Keefe. I should write an essay about this but I probably won't.

KEEFITZ ANGST

Ruy and Alvar are roommates...

Fitz is jealous of Sophie and Keefe's relationship, but Sophie is the one he's jealous of.

Sophie is also gay for Linh.

Tam is nonbinary.

Refusing gendered titles is an Alenefar family trait.

Sophie never actually states that Tiergan's connection to Prentice was platonic, just that it was strong.

Tiergan and Prentice held hands! 🧡 I mean Prentice was in a coma and Tiergan was panicking but we will focus on the positive here

Tiergan very much wants to adopt Tam and Linh, as he should.

Cassius and Quan Song are dating.

In a boys vs girls competition, Sophie should have taken their rightful position lying on the floor doing nothing.

Tam refuses to go within ten feet of Keefe's underwear... no further comment

Fitz searches Keefe's closet, deleted scene where he actually just finds Keefe in there

Keefe wears Fitz's bramble jersey

The black swan collective should go on a road trip, actually (Forkle is afraid of cars).

Alden, who apparently has the worst gaydar on the planet, tried talking to Biana about boys. :/

Dex is aspec.

It's our right as a fandom to see the councillors' splotching match.

It is extra our right as a fandom to see more dark!Grady.

Kesler Dizznee teaching his sons about consent, stan him!

Livvy & Juline friendship content when?

Kesler/Juline marriage supremacy (my parents are divorced)

Dex hates binary code... nonbinary Dex confirmed?

Don't think about Tiergan's reaction to Wylie getting kidnapped... don't think about him hearing all the details of Cyrah's death... don't think about him blaming himself for that... don't think about Tiergan feeling useless because he can't do enough to make Wylie happy... think about it actually it's painful but fun.

Keefe and Fitz act like exes in Lodestar. Because they are.

Keefe has ADHD.

King Dimitar and Fintan met alone *wiggles eyebrows*

In order to not make Grady upset about boys, Sophie should just date Biana.

In all seriousness, can Grady just... not.

"Marella's checking out Tam" yes... definitely the twin she has a crush on... sure /s

Tam can't keep anything straight.

Little Miss Perfect: Biana/Maruca. That is all.

Shannon likes her foreshadowing.

I need a spinoff Marella/Stina novel okay-

Sophie has writer's block. What a damn mood.

MARELLIANA-

Goblin curse words. They may have invented the word fuck and also have the term "warfuck," which means "you fucked up and started a war."

Stan Twinkle the titanoboa

Marella does not give a shit about blackmail.

Marella maybe should not have gotten her abilities triggered by Forkle. Perhaps a bad idea.

Hehe don’t think about Tiergan and Wylie receiving the updates as the kotlcrew figures out what happened with Cyrah’s death :)

Biana wants to hold Sophie's hand <3 and is jealous of Fitz holding her hand <3 they are in love <3

Biana, telling Sophie that she looks awesome in red: I will pepper in the fact that I am gay

Keefe still needs therapy. Please.

Tiergan cannot keep secrets.

Tam and Linh should be adopted by Tiergan, actually.

The council is so transphobic (doesn't let Sophie bring Ella to the peace summit)

Sophie is nonbinary, still.

Fintan has a fantastic sense of humor. I mean it's in terrible taste but it's funny.

Considering I then made a Forkle death joke, I can't really judge him.

Alden should get punched, please stop with the "no reason to worry"

AMY FOSTER 🧡

[casmick-consequences]

Cas&Dean VS Claire&Jack

So I wrote [a small little theory] a while ago as to why I think Claire and Jack wouldn’t have been shown on screen together/have any connection throughout the show on-screen/off-screen at all. And so here I will some points as to why I think that is. 

AKA here’s the long awaited essay/conspiracy theory y’all have been asking for.

First of all; let me start off by saying this is 100% meant as a joke (no it’s not) and it’s not to be taken seriously (yes it is) as it’s literally just a dumb theory (it definitely isn’t). And second; fuck the C*W for contributing to every little bit of tinhatting this fandom (especially us hellers) has succumbed to.

-

Now; for this theory we have to understand a few things:

How Dean and Cas work as individuals

How Claire and Jack work as individuals

How Dean and Cas work as a duo

Let’s start with the first two things.

How Dean and Cas work as individuals

Dean Winchester is a masculine, tough but loving hunter. He cultivates a “bad-boy personality”, and makes sarcastic jokes at even the most morbid times. Underneath, though, he's become hardened by life as a warrior (as Daddy’s blunt instrument, if you will). He’s been taught to fight his father’s battles, and protect the ones he loves and cares for. But soon began to see that neither of his parents (especially his dad) did the job they were given when they had children. He didn’t just have to be a brother; he had to be a father and mother. He’s had to grow walls around him to stay strong for his little brother, but over time, after making a family for himself, it became easier to tear those walls down. However, he has his weak spots and is an emotional and loving human being through and through.

Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, is an angel of the Lord. He’s lived for aeons, and as an angel has (just like Dean) been taught to fight the battles of his creator and father. He’s a warrior, and he’s been given the job to follow the orders of said creator. Only for those orders to be thrown out the window once he meets Dean Winchester. The man who showed him that hate and anger isn’t always the true answer and that you can choose to be good. Everything that he has been taught slowly breaks away as his hard exterior crumbles, and he develops into a being with emotions, as he slowly but eventually learns to love and care for this man, and with that; humanity.

How Claire and Jack work as individuals

Claire Novak, a woman who has lead a tragic life, where she lost both her parents early on. Her father said yes to be the (permanent) vessel of an Angel, and her mother just disappeared after dropping her off to her Grandmother. After the grandmother had passed away, she was left alone. She had to fight through the world on her own, as she put a wall around herself to make herself stronger for the people around her. It took a while before she found her place in a loving family filled with strong women, who didn’t just help bring her walls down, but build a home instead.

Jack Kline is an innocent, naive but loving Nephilim. The son of the human Kelly Kline and the archangel Lucifer. He was destined for evil, as a Nephilim is one of the most powerful creatures in existence. But, with the help of his three Godfathers (heh), he learns that he doesn’t have to be evil. He can be whatever he wants to be. Controlling his powers has been hard, but no matter what happened, his mindset never changed as he grew to love the people and love the things around him. His biological father saw his power, but his chosen father saw his kind soul. Castiel believed he could create paradise, and he did, as he became the God that the universe deserved.

There are alot of parallels between Dean/Claire and Jack/Cas that can be compared to here. Let me show you a few:

So we’ve established that with Claire being Dean-coded, and Jack being Cas-coded, there could’ve definitely been potential for a cute Claire/Jack dynamic in the show. Why wouldn’t they have done that, you think? Perhaps this question can be answered when we look at thing number 3:

How Dean and Cas work as a duo

Destiel is the relationship between the hunter Dean and the angel Castiel. Castiel was ordered by God to free him from Hell, and afterwards he was supposed to do as he was told while Dean was supposed to figure out how to “stop the apocalypse” which happened to be a bunch of garbo afterwards knowing what we know now. Nonetheless, Castiel didn’t listen, as he quickly grew fond of the hunter and, because of him, developed a sense of emotion and free will. This lead to Castiel helping Dean throughout the Apocalypse, and beyond, and they’ve been best friends ever since.

There have been MULTIPLE essays on Tumblr about how this relationship works, and it would be silly of me to try and summarize stuff that hasn’t been said a million times already. But basically; What they have is quite a bit more than best friendship. It has been confirmed in 15x18, Despair, that Castiel has been in love with Dean for quite some time, as Dean’s own feelings are kind of all over the place. Nothing has been confirmed, yet nothing has been denied. But, seeing as all the insane things Dean has done for/because of/regarding Castiel... for instance:

defended his behavior to his brother and father when neither trusted him in season 6

kept his trenchcoat when he “died” in season 7, and keeping it with him in the trunk of his car(s) for the entirety of Castiel’s absence.

absolutely despises angels, and hates praying, yet he only ever prays to Castiel when he needs anything because he’s the only one he trusts

couldn’t get his mind of of him when he was possessed by Lucifer, and later taken by Amara in season 11

Has Castiel being referred to as his Colette by Cain (subtext but not really subtext because it was so incredibly obvious)

was supposed to be completely enamored by Amara and was supposed to be so hypnotizingly attracted to her that he couldn’t focus on anything else, yet he called out for Castiel’s name when it came down to it (aka the equivalent of calling out someone else’s name during sex) 

keeps looking at him like that

acted like a grieving widow when Castiel died in season 13

gets down on his knees to pray to, cry for and apologize to Castiel in Purgatory when there’s millions of creatures hunting his ass

...it’s easy to say that this is more than just a “brotherly friendship” between the two. There is dialogue that would NOT have worked between Sam/Cas because it would’ve felt weird. I wonder why.

So now to get back on topic; why is it that we’ve never seen Claire and Jack on screen together?

Is it because the writers didn’t have time to put them together in any given scenario whatsoever? Is it because the writers didn’t care enough for Claire to give her some more airtime with the boys? 

Or is it perhaps that if there was a possibility that they’d be on screen together, that they’d have a very similar (if not the same) connection to one another as Dean and Cas, only written as an actual little brother/big sister friendship dynamic?

-

So yes, TL;DR: the actual reason that Claire and Jack never met is because they would’ve had the exact same dynamic as Dean and Cas, but in this case platonic. Which would’ve meant that the audience would’ve seen a clear difference between the Dean/Cas dynamic and Claire/Jack dynamic, and it would’ve shown that the way they’ve been writing and directing the Dean/Cas scenes is romantic.

thank you very much, and I bid thee a very good night. <3

[thesnadger]

thoughts on the WO finale re chapman/antigone? personally i wish antigone had gotten a bit more resolution that wasn’t chapman centric but i suppose at this point i should just be grateful there weren’t any dramatic love confessions. Tbqh in general i wish the whole last season was less chapman-centric.

Eh, partial credit, I can live with this.

If the choice was mine I'd have put them unambiguously in "the feeling was called friendship, but neither of them had ever experienced it before" territory. But if it isn't going to be that, this is fine.

They didn't do what I was worried about. Specifically, they didn't have Antigone full on return his feelings or jump at the idea, which would have really undermined "Antigone in the Spotlight." They didn't make Antigone the reason for Chapman to stay, and they didn't make it the main point for either character. They also didn't end on a note of "oh they'll definitely get together, don't you worry." It's open enough that you can imagine whatever you want, either way it's not the point.

(Honestly, two characters like Antigone and Chapman getting paired up in the end of a story is usually such a drearily inevitable conclusion that I'll take this half measure as a win.)

And I actually think that Antigone's arc is decently wrapped up with or without Chapman! Her progress over the course of the series has honestly been pretty great.

She went from never leaving the mortuary and most of the town thinking she was dead to being a fixture in the town. She went from having to fight Rudyard for a partnership in the funeral home in S2 to doing most of the running of it. She has hobbies and interests and friends that aren't connected to her brother or to Funn Funerals. (Her and Reverend Wavering writing a book together remains one of my favorite subplots and I'm so glad they're going to collaborate again.)

I think episodes like "Antigone in the Spotlight" and "In the Buff" were the key ones to give her character closure, and the finale only really needed to tie a bow on that progress (which it basically did with the scene of her and Rudyard talking about the business and their own hobbies and interests.)

If I could have changed one major thing about Antigone's overall arc (besides making her and Chapman explicitly platonic) I'd have really liked an episode where the A plot was "Antigone and Georgie get into a misadventure together."

We see lots of Georgie and Rudyard, and lots of Rudyard and Antigone, I'd have really liked more of Antigone and Georgie's dynamic. Generally, when the two of them do something together the real focus is on Rudyard and what he's doing/thinking in contrast to them (i.e., "The Big Cheese," "The Trial of Rudyard," probably others but those come to mind first.) That's probably the biggest thing missing for me from both Antigone and Georgie's stories. But that would have been something to do before the finale anyway, I wouldn't expect or want it to be shoved in at the end.

[my-bated-breath]

Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

_____

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I  meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that ��you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

[annethepancake]

Sherlock rant

I recently rewatched BBC Sherlock for Rupert Graves, and aside from the lack of Lestrade appreciation I have a lot of problems with this series. Here are my thoughts:

1. It was all a blur

My second first impression of the show: I don't remember anything but the characters. And some characters I just blatantly forgot, like Mary. And I loved Mary on my second watch! I really forgot that at one point John actually got married and I don't even remember when I watched the show for the first time. I can still recall most of HIMYM's events and I hated that series.

2. It’s overall not a detective/crime show

Watching Sherlock for the second time, I mostly turned off my brain and just let it play in the background because (1) there's hardly anything for me to solve with the characters, most clues are taken by Sherlock off-screen anyway (especially after season 2), (2) they focus way too much on the quirks of the characters that make it almost like a sitcom that got dragged on for way too long. A crime/detective show shouldn't allow me to turn off my brain.

3. The characters just kinda fall flat

Exploring the depth of human emotions is not a bad approach to a modernized version of anything, I’m not trying to pretend I’m better than someone who gets sentimental over fictional character (if you know my blog at all, you know I am not), but at least write good characters. Sherlock is hardly a multi-faceted person; in fact, he’s kinda like the Wattpad teen fic main character sometimes. He physically fights off some terrorists with a machete to save the damsel in distress? He gets high off his tits but still got everything right all the time? John is just kinda there for most of the cases. Jim is a poorly written antagonist. Irene is a lesbian but gets the hot for our main character, surprise surprise. The only interesting characters to me are the ones who act like normal people: Molly, Greg and Mary. They are the multi-faceted characters, ones who I can actually relate to without feeling inferior to them in any way. Write characters like them, stop trying to be smart about it and stop writing Wattpad fanfictions for Sir Conan Doyle’s original works.

I get that they try to make Sherlock more like a human with emotions, making him quirky and arrogant, then make him quirky and more likable. It’s hardly a convincing character development though. He’s given over-powered deduction skills, so edgy, so high and mighty all the time. When he is finally written as vulnerable, turns out he has plans for that too. I would love to see him get it wrong once and maybe get humbled by that mistake, but getting Mary shot and killed is hardly even his fault, he is only doing his job. And killing off Mary is overall a bad idea anyway.

4. They treated the fandom like shit

I was absolutely disgusted at the start of season 3 when the showrunners just straight up shat on their fans. I wasn't there with the fandom during the wait between season 2 and 3, but I believe it was a pretty long wait (2 years, I could barely wait 2 years for my comfort series, and they have like 10 episodes per season), and they were presented with the first actual mystery of the series: How did Sherlock survive the fall? After years of waiting and having fun theorizing, they were met with a mockumentary about them, starring the most hated character of the protagonist and the fans. Those are the people who actually cared about the show for god's sake. The fact that the showrunners treated fans like crap and there's still an active fandom for the show appalled me.

Now not only The Empty Hearse bugs me, but the entire show does as well.

Allow me to digress.

Doki Doki Literature Club is a great example of audience engagement done right (Sorry for using this example I’m not actually that invested in the other franchises). After the success of the first game, the story provoked so many fans into solving the mysteries of the characters, some of them went really, really far. And that’s because of the actual mysteries that the development team took effort to plant into the plot. There is actual pay-off for painstakingly following the clues; as far as I know, only two (2!) people in the world have come close to solving the mystery of the first game (or they actually did). The game developers value their fans and their intelligence enough to have planted those clues where they did, and it’s a genuine exchange between the fans and the creators. Now even though you haven’t actually played the game, when you hear of the name and you’re only kinda familiar with gaming (like me), you’ll probably know what it is. What started as a mere open-source game by an indie developer became a sensation which left millions of fans begging for more.

Looking back at Sherlock, there are tons of logical flaws for a self-proclaimed crime series, virtually no clues for the audience to solve crimes along with their favorite detective, and when there was actually a mystery (Sherlock jumped off the building), they plainly showed him alive and well minutes later. Do we really need to see things spelled on screen to know what’s going on? Are we supposed to accept that Sherlock Holmes is an all-knowing future-predicting genius now too? Not a great sign of respecting the audience there.

So far, the only thing left that’s interesting about this series is the characters’ dynamic. Which brings me to the next criticism I have for the show.

5. The plague that infested mainstream media

Why is there still an active fandom? Queerbaiting and targeted marketing.

Community marketing is proven to be one of the best marketing methods there is, if not the best, to lengthen the lifespan of a product or service. The way they do that for shows and films and video games is usually by planting seeds of possible lores and history inside the content. Look at Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, they are franchises that ran for multiple years with a ton of history and world building that provokes fans’ imagination.

Sherlock - well, Sherlock has sexually ambiguous men.

Sherlock has a formula for success. It was an adaptation of the most iconic detective novel in the world, funded by one of the biggest TV networks in the UK and possibly the world (don’t quote me on this). Making this series means you can appeal to such a wide group of audience even before airing. Adding in the quirky smart men who live together, you’ve basically guaranteed a prime-time show with millions of loyal fans all over the world.

Fans are not stupid, and queer people don't just find queerness everywhere they go. They know a gay subtext when they see one. Sherlock came back from the literal death for John, pretty gay if you ask me.

This show is very much not just about some guys being dudes solving crimes, they have relationship that’s deeper than friendship, and definitely not platonic. They deliberately wrote a sexually ambiguous Sherlock Holmes from the get-go - literally from the very first episode, then capitalized off of the targeted demographic, never a pay-off for their anticipation. Martin Freeman said in interviews that he could recognize Sherlock fans, them being generally women from 16 - 25. No shit Sherlock, this show targets them and capitalizes off of them, being quirky and gay as hell, of course the fanbase is generally 16 - 25 and female.

Sherlock queerbaited the fandom for years for the sake of marketing and there’s never a pay-off, nor was there any recognition to the community, and to add to all that bigotry, queercoding pretty much all of the villains? Why was a show aired in the 2010′s allowed to do this? Why did Mark Gatiss, an openly gay man, a writer of the show, allow this to happen? Why are millions of fans all over the world allowing all this to go on?!

6. Conclusion

Now I haven’t read the books yet, so I’m not at all qualified to criticize the adaptation quality of the TV series; I’m just talking about the TV series on its own. Despite my criticism, I think the first two seasons did quite okay. There are quite a few nice cases there, I like The Blind Banker and The Hound of Baskerville. They did those well because the focus was on the cases themselves, and the connection between John and Sherlock was only in the background. I, like many other fans, like to figure things out on my own, to read between the lines, and to not have things spelled out for me. With the next seasons bombarded with Sherlock and John bonding it seriously felt like mere fan service for me and even though I wasn’t there when the show was on, I still felt like I was robbed and my interest in the show was abused.

Sherlock is undoubtedly super influential in pop culture even now. It has to have done something right to be in that spot (capitalizing off loyal fans?). I’m not writing this rant to change someone’s mind about the series, by all means, I’m still gonna love the hell out of Gavin Lestrade, and absolutely lose my mind over Mary Watson. So do take my words with a grain of salt, I’m just disappointed that one of the most influential shows there is is just short of my expectations.

[julieandthefandoms]

Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU

HELLO THERE MY LOVELIES! I’M MAKING A WILD TUMBLR REAPPEARANCE AND I BRING WITH ME SHINY NEW SHOWS I’VE WATCHED AND PERHAPS THE GREATEST AU I’VE EVER WRITTEN DOWN! 

Okay, so, I’m going to preface this by saying that I finally watched the Untamed over the past summer and now am slightly obsessed. I am also in the middle of reading the novel and watching the animation, so... that’s something.

Anyway, today, I decided that it would be a good idea to rewatch my favorite childhood film, a little Bollywood comedy titled Housefull 2. Upon rewatching this, I realized that the MDZS characters would fit really well into the convoluted mess of this plot and so I wrote a little bullet pointed AU idea thing. 

(I don’t think I’ll have the time to write this, so if anyone wants to use this concept, pleaseeee tag me/tell me about it. Also, if anything like this is already written, pleaseee tell me too, I need the crack content.) (I’m also desi, by the way, so I don’t know much about Chinese culture, so please tell me if anything is offensive or just plain inaccurate.)

So, without further ado, I’ll be presenting this Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU! 

-As per canon, JZX is emotionally constipated and couldn’t communicate until after his engagement with JYL got split up. Having made their sister cry, JC, WWX, and NHS (who gets roped into it) plan to crush JZX for hurting JYL. 

-They send WQ to crush JZX by breaking his heart but give her such vague instructions that she accidentally falls for Mianmain. 

NHS: “So... who’re we supposed to use to crush this Peacock. I mean, it can’t be any of us.” 

WWX: “I don’t know about y’all, but I’d be great at this mission.” *wiggles eyebrows*

JC *rolls eyebrows*: “I think you forgot that mom will have your head if you do something like this.”

JC: “Hey, you remember her from university?” 

WWX: “Who?” 

JC: “You know, *her*, the one with the needles who could murder anyone and get away with it” 

WWX: *laughing* “Holy hell, the Peacock doesn’t know what’s coming for him!” 

NHS: “And who might this mystery lady be?” He says, knowing exactly who this mystery lady is. 

JC and WWX: “Wen Qing.”

-All the while, JGS thinks that WQ and JZX are engaged because the Idiot Trio sent an envoy ahead that claimed WQ was a head disciple of Jiang and is a replacement for JYL. JGS has now set the engagement of WQ and JZX in August. 

-They find out about Mianmian/LQY and WQ too late, and now JC, WWX, and NHS send someone else, LWJ, to crush JZX’s heart. 

JC: “You can’t continue to do this, what happened to our deal?!” 

WQ: *death glares* “What our deal said was that I needed to woo someone vaguely in relation to the nickname “Peacock” and happened to be in Lanling as payback for JZX breaking your sister’s heart, I don’t think I’m the one who forgot our deal here.” 

JC: “And your first thought was that Mianmian/LQY was Peacock?!” 

WQ: “She’s pretty and a Jin, so…” 

Before there would be a throw down in this place, WWX interrupted: “Okay, WQ it’s alright that you feel for Mianmian/LQY, but who is supposed to help us teach JZX a lesson now?”

NHS: “I don’t know, but it could maybe be someone who’s already close to JZX.” 

JC: “That sounds like a horrible ide- Wait, that’s lowkey kinda genius. Do you remember him from university?” 

WWX: “Him?” 

JC: “Yeah, you know, him, the one who’s entire vocabulary was the syllable “Mn” and whom you pined after for years.” 

WWX *blushing like there’s no tomorrow*: “We can’t send him, he’ll probably send me off to do 50 handstands” 

JC: “Please, he’s do anything you ask him to” 

NHS: *flutters his fan while knowing to an extreme degree what’s going to happen*

-They send WWX as LWJ’s ‘driver’ for him to make sure the plan is on track, but it just ends in LZ/WY pining. JC is also sent there as a businessman since he needs to make sure JGS doesn’t suspect anything too suspicious. At the same time though, because JGS thinks WQ and JZX are engaged and since LWJ spends most of his free time talking to Mianmian/LQY about his hopeless pining, JGS starts to think that Mianmian/LQY and LWJ are to be engaged and plans another engagement. JGS is quick to inform LQR about this and now LQR thinks that his nephew is married to Mianmian/LQY and that they’re getting married in August. 

-At some point here, LXC is in Lanling to visit his bud Meng Yao and that’s when JC and LXC begin talking and stuff. (This can be platonic or romantic, I don’t have a personal preference). 

-Additionally, this is also when WWX and LWJ begin investigating the happenings of Lanling and discover the extent of an asshole JGS is. They'd probably be reported sporadically and NHS definitely sent this evidence to detectives XXC and Song Lan. 

-So far, no one has gotten to properly executing this plan, and JC & WWX are beginning to question things. Because things couldn’t possibly get worse, this is the moment when Madam Yu decides that it’d be a good idea to visit the Jins in order to remind them of their arranged marriage between JYL and JZX. So now, JC and WWX have to drag both LXC and JYL into this convoluted plot because otherwise everything would go horribly wrong. JC, WWX, NHS, JYL, LXC, WQ, LWJ, and Mianmian/LQY (WQ directly told the boys that if they don’t let Mianmian/LQY in on this, she’ll personally shove a needle where it hurts) are in this room together, attempting to processes the absolute mess that has occurred. (Poor JZX is still living obliviously, his father didn’t even tell him that he’s technically engaged to WQ now. JZX is just vibing in confusion and thinks he’s just being buds with LWJ because LWJ is horrible at flirting with anyone that’s not WWX so his job of breaking JZX is... not going well.) In the end, after being on the receiving end of many of JYL’s disappointed looks, JC and WWX convince her to help them with their plot just this once. (She wouldn’t tell anyone that she was secretly pleased, but hey, JYL kept her vengeance deep, deep down low and deserved to exercise it just this once.) 

-(it is important to note here that in this AU, Madame Yu doesn’t know what JZX looks like) 

-The plan would be that LXC would (reluctantly) pretend to be JZX in front of Madam Yu. Additionally, Madame Yu thinks the actual JZX is NHS (because JC panicked and that’s the first name he could come up with when Madam Yu asked who was that kid if LXC was JZX). This was to drive JGS off their tails as he still believed that WQ is engaged to JZX now. (He did email LQR about this as well who now thinks his nephews are now engaged to JYL and Mianmian/LQY, respectively, and are going to be married that August.) This is the part where WWX and LWJ finally start realizing that their feelings are mutual after a pep talk from Mianmian/LQY, LXC, and WQ (who’s pep talk sounded more like a shovel talk) for LWJ and from JC, NHS, and JYL for WWX. This is also when Mianmian/LQY and WQ grow closer and also decide that the rest of the group is useless and team up with NHS to knock some sense into JZX. Finally, JZX becomes less emotionally constipated and confesses to JYL, and because WWX, JYL, and JC think that an intervention from the scariest trio (WQ, Mianmian/LQY, NHS) is apt punishment, they call an end to their payback. (Also partially due to JZX having character growth as different characters grilled him throughout this AU). While this is great for our mains, it can only cause a bunch of shenanigans because of the way the parental figures interpret this situation. 

-JGS and Madame Jin think the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, LXC/JYL, WWX/NHS

-Madame Yu thinks the pairings are: JZX (except it’s LXC’s version of JZX)/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/NHS (except it’s JZX who got confused for NHS)

-LQR thinks the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, and LXC/JYL

-Meanwhile, the pairings actually are: JZX/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/LXC

-In conclusion, they’re all utterly fucked. Therefore, they have to bring everyone into this convoluted plot now, and finally JZX’s experiences over the past months make a little more sense to him. While discussing this mess they’ve created, WWX has an idea. 

WWX: “Okay, so, looking at the actual chart of who everyone thinks is who, the biggest disparity is between Madam Yu and JGS’s viewpoints, right? What if we just removed Madam Yu from the equation, make Madam Jin and Madam Yu have a falling out so that Madam Yu won’t be invited to the wedding so that we can focus on one of the false interpretations of all the relationships happening.” 

JC: “Madam Jin and Madam Yu have been the best of friends, how are we supposed to make them hate each other?” 

JYL: “I mean, we could stage something, a betrayal of some sort.” 

NHS: “I’m liking the way you think.”

-So through this plot and NHS’s concerning amount of connections, our group succeeds in breaking apart Madam Yu and Madam Jin’s friendship. JC and WWX also manage to worm their way into convincing the Jins to let JYL marry LXC to “spite Madam Yu’s wish of combining the Jiang and Jin families.” Because of JGS arranging and emailing parents throughout this fic, JYL, JZX, LXC, Mianmian/LQY, WQ, NHS, WWX, and LWJ are basically set to be married in August, except it’s to the wrong person! Soon enough, the wedding day arrives and the gang has a plan: they’ll dress the exact same and have the most elaborate and disruptive headpieces so that their faces are covered. 

(Note: Instead of NHS being part of the people getting married as it should be, JC is replaces him for the actual ceremony. Since the our marrige folks have their faces covered, nobody really notices that JC replaced NHS and is marrying LXC. This can be either because of a marriage of convenience to combine companies, or out of actual feelings. I’m cool with either interpretation in my head. Meanwhile, NHS is out in the crowd and People didn’t him because of his surprisingly useful camouflage fan.) 

-And so, the group sets NHS as their distraction while JC pretends to be NHS for the wedding ceremony. NHS basically knocks into the most expensive vase he can find so that most of the parental figures turn around, giving the group getting married the opportunity to switch places with one another until they’re in the right spot. So, a bunch of stuff happens, Madam Yu barges in to yell about how disgraceful it is for the Jins to go on with this marriage even though they broke the engagement in the first place and betrayed the trust of the Jiang corporation. Madam Yu also just, airs out JGS’s dirty laundry in a real badass way. 

-It’s all chaotic. Hell breaks loose. JGS goes batshit crazy and starts bringing our firearms. And so, basically, everyone ends up hiding behind pillars and stuff, though, eventually, after everyone has to run out of their hiding spot’s because Su She cannot shut the fuck up and keeps getting the other’s exposed, they all pile behind JGS in the world’s worst game combined game of Hide & Seek and Slither.io. It all finally ends when JGS gets arrested for a shit ton of crimes, and everything finally ends with a joint wedding between 8 people, except this time it’s with the right partners. 

So, yeah, that’s the AU that I wrote in a dazed craze in the past 2 hours. I hope it was at least partially understandable. I hope y’all have fun with it! Again, if you know of a fanfic that’s got a similar energy or want to write something similar, please tell me, I need more fanfiction. Also, that last scene is basically a direct copy of this scene from the movie Housefull 2. (I’m sorry though, I can’t find an english subbed version of the scene. :(

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Speaking of JSA, what kind of yandere (platonic) do you think Pat, Courtney, Beth, Rick and Yolanda are and how dark can they get?

Yandere JSA (platonic)

Pat Dugan

Pat is the epitome of the word "Dad". He's protective and he worries about you and the rest of the new JSA. He'll do anything to protect his family (including the other JSA kids). He'll always make sure that you're taken care of, along with the others.

He's slightly delusional in regards to the family dynamic that the JSA have going on. He's aware enough to understand and know that he's not your actual parent but that doesn't stop him from seeing it like that.

He'll try to insert himself in your day to day life outside of the JSA, even befriending your parents so he can be around even more. Now if you're parents mistreat or abuse you in any way then he'll push for you to stay with him, Barbara and the kids. They'll replace your old family, giving you the love, support, recognition, and affection that you deserve. He'll make sure that you're happy and healthy. But don't think that he won't go back to your parents and have a talk with him, if he feels the need to then he'll throw down with them. Either way, no matter how your parents are, he will take you in and under his wing becoming your new family, your better family.

I totally canon Pat being platonic yandere for all the kids, along with Barbara. The show already pretty much made that canon with the end of the last episode with the Christmas celebration, showing that they basically adopted the other kids and were one happy family.

Pat would definitely be very weary of anyone you're friends with or close to, he just wants to make sure that they're good for you and that they're not trying to get you into trouble. Anyone you have a crush on or are dating will be heavily scrutinized and watched, he wants you happy but only with someone he approves of and knows will be good for you. He realizes that not every one of your love interests, whether a crush or actual relationship, will last forever but that doesn't ease his mind. He definitely doesn't want to see you hurt in any way, shape, or form, especially not by someone you put your all into and trusted.

When it comes to you graduating Pat will be a whole mess. His baby is growing up and gonna go places with out. You'll get to a point where you won't be needing to consult Pat for anything. You'll be able to function and live on your own and that really gets to him. As much as he's happy he's also filled with anxiety and worry, he doesn't want you to move on from your pops and the family. He'll be the one to always call you, making some excuse just to hear your voice and talk with you. He fears that you just may forget about him when all is said and done and that really scares him.

Overall he's a good guy and means well but he just can't fathom the thought of letting you fly the coop, he wants to hold on to you for as long as he can. Please make sure to keep him in both your mind and heart or he just might worry himself into a heart attack or something.

Courtney Whitmore

Courtney's happy-go-lucky, friendly and lovable. She's just so kind and considerate, how could you not want to be friends with her? It's hard to not give in to her persistence to a friendship or when she refers to you as family. You know she means well and is full of good intentions so you never think too much into anything that she does. But if you just gave Courtney a second look then maybe you'd see just what was really going on.

She's protective to a fault, always being overly cautious with anyone you're close to or interact with. She's usually very trusting but when it comes to you she doesn't want to leave any room for anyone to put you at risk. Courtney values your trust and dependency, she doesn't want to lose that so she'll put anyone and everyone under a microscope if need be just to ensure that you'll always be safe. 'Cause in the end that's all that really matters to her, your safety and happiness, that all she wants.

You and Courtney will spend every waking moment together, doing anything and everything. She vents to and confides in you, expecting the same from you. She wants complete trust and transparency with each other, no lies and no holding back about anything.

Your probably the first real friend she makes when she moves to Blue Valley. She trusts you with everything, even going as far as telling you her blowing up Henry's car, becoming Stargirl and especially about Brainwave and the rest of the ISA. She wants you to know to keep your guard up and that things aren't what they seem but don't worry she'll always be there to keep you safe and sound.

Courtney doesn't have a problem with you making other friends or interacting with other people as long as she's #1 and no one tries to replace her or you don't leave her in the dust to be with your other friends. If you're invited to something or going somewhere in general Courtney always ends up tagging along or just so happening to be at that same place as you.

Speaking of which, Courtney is always following you around whether you know it or not. She's always worrying about you and playing terrible scenarios in her head about everything that could possibly go wrong, so to ease her mind she takes to stalking you. Your phone will be filled with messages, missed calls, and voicemails from her. She'll use any means necessary to communicate with you whether through text, phone calls, email, Facebook messenger, letters, and or a cup on a string. Hell, she'll call you through Zoom if she has to, anything that means she can still be in contact with you.

I feel like the cosmic staff would probably encourage her in her obsession for you. Pointing out wherever you may be or taking Courtney to you without hesitation, basically being a little tattletale in regards to you. It may even take a liking to you or form a little obsession in itself because of Courtney's own obsession and interest towards you.

As much as Courtney wants to see you happy she doesn't like anyone you have a romantic interest in or are dating. She honestly believes that no one will ever be good enough for you (this goes for a friendly platonic or a familial platonic). No one will be able to take care of you and keep you safe or even understand you like her, so why don't you just stick with Courtney? Besides the two of you are still young, there's plenty of time for love so why not just focus on your friendship for now.

Beth Chapel

Beth is extremely delusional, you're her best friend or her sibling, hell you could even be a parental figure to her, it doesn't really matter not for her at least. She honestly believes that your closer than you really are, you could seriously have never given her a second glance in your whole life but she already has it in her mind that the two of you are as thick as thieves.

As much as she is delusional, Beth is also very soft. She genuinely cares about you and wants to have a connection with you. She just wants to be close with you, doing anything that results in that. She'll even goes as far as getting into all your interests and hobbies just so she can feel that closeness and be able to bond with you even more. If you like anime or a band she and Chuck will do all their research into those exact things to learn anything and everything there is to know. By the time she and Chuck are through with learning everything, Beth will know so much more than you could have possibly fathomed.

If you have a favorite character in an anime, game, book or movie then that character just so happens to be hers too! What a coincidence, huh? She'll have any and or all memorabilia in regards to that character and she already knows everything there is to them and their origin or backstory.

There won't be a second that goes by where she's not talking someone's ear off about you. She loves talking about you or anything that has to do with you. She just loves you, platonically of course. She just really wants someone to be close with, to do stuff with and she chose you. You mean a lot to her, she'll tell you that all the time and you probably have no idea how much she means it. Everything she says, she wholeheartedly means no matter what it is.

You honestly don't have to really do anything to garner Beth's attention, you could have looked or even waved in her general direction and she'd be hooked. Whatever attention you gave her, whether inadvertently or not, is enough for her.

She'll follow you around all the time like a puppy, wherever you go she goes. Beth is always in distance of you and whoever you may be with, listening to everything you say and watching everything you do. She's definitely a stalker and once she has Chuck with her it only gets worse, she'll have even more in depth and intimate knowledge about you and your life.

Beth is the type to invite herself to whatever you may be doing or wherever you may be going. She'll always has a way of making the people around you uncomfortable and uneasy, whether intentional or not. She probably doesn't even know that she's doing anything odd, she's just being herself after all.

All your friends and or anyone you interact with will go through an extensive background check courtesy of Chuck. Beth just wants to make sure that you're in safe hands with the people you're around. If she finds anything incriminating about them or anyone in regard to them she'll make sure you know, whether she tells you herself or tells you anonymously.

Beth would want to around you all the time, the two of you wouldn't even have to do anything just as long as she was with you she's content. She'll spend any and all her time with you if she could.

She feels that she has to tell you everything otherwise she would be a bad friend if she didn't, she just can'tlive with herself if she lied to you for any reason. Whether you're a part of the JSA or not, you'll know everything about what's going with both them and the ISA. Beth keeps you in the loop about everything.

When she first goes down into the tunnels and loses communication with everyone, you're the first person she goes to for comfort. It really scared her being alone like that, without you and or Chuck by her side, she felt like nothing. It just showed her that she never wants to part with either you or Chuck, especially you. She relies/depends on you and Chuck for a lot, particularly in regard to her emotional connection that she shares with both of you.

Once Chuck 'dies' and is out of commission you're all she has now, at least that's what she keeps saying. You'll have her whole undivided attention and focus after everything. She'll be even more attached to your side, relying on you even more to fill the void that she has after what happened to Chuck. She'll need you all the more now and there's nothing you can do to push her away, even for a little breathing room.

In conclusion, no matter what Beth is always going be there and that's just where she plans to stay, right by your side.

Rick Tyler

Rick can be pretty aggressive and temperamental, coming off scary and unapproachable. You have no clue how he ever came to like you let alone become obsessed with you. Maybe one day he was feeling sympathetic or 'heroic', so to speak, and protected you from some bullies or something. Maybe you were just too kind for your own good, especially to him, so he felt the need to become your protector.

He's protective and possessive, maybe even at least slightly delusional. He's always trailing either behind you or beside you, keeping very close to in case anything may happen. You'll have your own personal guard dog in Rick, he's an intimidating force to be messed with and he counts on that using it to his advantage.

Rick is highly paranoid, ways looking over his or your shoulder for anything out of the ordinary, even before he became part of the JSA. He doesn't trust anyone, excluding you of course. Especially when it comes to you, he doesn't trust anyone to keep you safe or take care of, or to make sure that your happy. Rick doesn't believe that anyone has your best interests at heart, not your friends, family, and especially not your romantic partner if you have one.

Speaking of which, he won't leave any room for other friends or any love interests to come between him and you. He wants all your focus, time and attention, if he has to get his hands dirty to get even a second of anything you have to give him then he will.

Love interests and romantic relationships are out of the question with Rick, he knows that no one is deserving of you and that's just how it will stay. Even if someone was deserving or even worthy of you, Rick wouldn't let them get far. He'll get rid of them quickly enough that you wouldn't even bat an eye at their absence. He's just fine having it be just you and him against the world if it comes down to it, just as long as it's only you and him in the end. That's all he needs after all.

You'll be kept out of the loop about the JSA and the ISA, Rick just wants to protect you from all of it. If you're already involved then he'll have your back all the way until the end, getting in the way of any one trying to hurt you, taking any hits he has to to ensure your safety. You'll always be safe with him, he promises you that.

You're the only one who can calm Rick down, reigning him in whenever he gets too aggressive or murderous. You're always able to bring him back from whatever dark place he's falling into, and he wants to do the same for you if the occasion ever arises. He wants you to depend on him just as he depend on you, though he would never admit to it.

As angry and scary as Rick can be, he can also be soft and gentle but you're the only one he ever let's see that side of him. It just goes to show how important you are to him and how much he really values and trusts you. So, you know that you're in capable hands with him and how he would never hurt, not intentionally at least.

If you were to ever move whether for school or work, Rick would either follow you if he had the means or he'd be pushed to take drastic measures to keep you with him. He just can't trust that you'll be safe or in good hands without him there to be the one watching over you.

Yolanda Montez

You and Yolanda were probably close before everything went down with Henry, you were the only one to not turn your back on her and that only fueled her obsession for you and also her devotion to you. You showed just how committed you were to her and your friendship and she could never put into words just how thankful and appreciative she was of you. You were her only true friend anymore and she couldn't bare to lose you too, no matter what she had to do to keep you.

You probably encourage Yolanda to be friends with Courtney and to especially become Wildcat, and again that only adds to her admiration for you. She feels indebted to you, you've pushed her to be strong, to not give up and it's only brought even better things into her life. She thinks so highly of you and how undeserving she really is to have you by her side through everything that she's been through, everything that you've been living with her right by her side.

Yoland can't help but feel devoted to you and everything that you've done for her. You've always been right there to keep her going and she's clueless as to how she would have survived without you. She hates the thought of not ever having you around anymore, it's probably her greatest fear. You became her everything in such a short amount of time and she couldn't imagine not having you with her anymore. She'd fight tooth and nail to keep you where you are, to keep you just as you are.

Yolanda wouldn't be okay with you having other friends outside of her, she can barely stand you being friendly with the other JSA kids but putting some stranger in the mix would not be pretty. She can't stand the thought of you leaving her behind or maybe even turning your back on her because of some new face. She doesn't honestly believe that you would do that to her but that doesn't mean that she trusts the other person. They could try to turn you against her, try to make you hate her and be disgusted by her. She trusts you but she doesn't trust anyone else, you're all she really has anymore and therefore she can't lose you to anyone for any reason.

You also wouldn't be able to date or have any interest in anyone. Yolanda has a very hard time trying to trust anyone in a romantic way after what happened to her and that will bleed through to your love life. She fears that the same will happen to you and she just can't leave any room for that to happen. Yolanda will dissuade you from anyone, lying and or twisting things so you will lose interest in anyone and everyone. If she has to she will suit up to take out anyone she needs to, her claws are sharp and she has no problem using them especially if it's for you.

Yolanda is very protective already, having threatened Henry to stay away from courtney in the show but when it comes to you that protectiveness gets amped up. She's also possessive of you as well, you're all she's had for so long that she wants to be all that you have too. She has no problem threatening or getting rid of anyone she has to to keep you with her and only with her.

If Henry ever interacts with you she'll have to keep herself from shredding him to pieces right then and there.

When it comes to graduating and whether you may go out of state for college, Yolanda will work and study hard to be able to get into the same school as you and she's more then willing to put the dedication into it just to be with you. It would be nice to get away from her family anyways, especially her parents.

Hell, she would runaway with you now without any hesitation if you asked her to. As long as she has you then she knows she'll be okay, the both of you will be.

You may have kept her from falling into a dark hole before but it only caused her to fall into a much darker place with a different goal in mind. She'll be damed if anyone tries to come between the two of you, so help her, they'll wish they never crossed Yoland Montez.

[lizziestudieshistory]

Books of 2021 - July

I read a lot this month! I’m not even sure how I managed it, especially when we consider I’ve read another 850 pages between Anna Karenina and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on top of this lot!

I’m just going to apologise now for not proof reading this... I’m finishing this off at 2 in the morning to schedule and I’m sick of looking at my own writing at the moment.

Amnesty by Lara Elena Donnelly - Technically I read this at the end of June, however, I was on holiday so couldn’t include it in last month’s wrap up.

I’ve already spoken about the Amberlough Dossier and anyone who’s been around my blog for longer than about 10 seconds knows I love this trilogy. Amnesty was no exception. We have the return of Cyril, he and Ari working through their relationship (or not quite understandably), and the fall out from the fall of the Ospies - this world’s equivalent to the Nazi party. It’s not an easy book to read and the glamour of the first installment is completely stripped away to deal with very complex moral and political questions. I don’t necessarily agree with Donnelly’s answers, however, I do admire her for really delving into these very difficult topics. She used the speculative nature of the Amberlough Dossier to come up with a sensitive and interesting discussion on a very difficult period in history.

I’m hoping to write a proper review for the whole trilogy at some point (once I’ve finished the monstrosity that is my Words of Radiance review) so I don’t want to say too much more here. However, I do want to say I really enjoyed that Donnelly found the space to continue looking at the smaller, private, and interpersonal consequences of the Ospies’ regime, particularly for families. It’s a sensitive look into this situation and I loved every second of it - I also adore Cyril and Ari’s relationship, but I’ll dig into them in my proper reivew.

Master of Sorrows by Justin Call - this was a slightly underwhelming read for me, although I did really enjoy it. I’ve seen Master of Sorrows praised everywhere, I don’t think I’ve seen it given less than 5 stars? Yet, for me it was a solid 4 star read. I’d wanted a 5 star read (I’ve been sorely lacking them) but something was holding me back with this one - I do think the series has 5 star potential though and I’m going to read Master Artificer soon!

This is a book clearly embedded in a love of mythology and fantasy. It’s dark and gritty, especially in the second half, with plenty for the reader to sink their teeth into. I’ve also never seen such a strong focus on physical disability in a fantasy novel - it was refreshing to see and led to an interesting use of the magic system to develop ways of overcoming physical disadvantages. Although I’m hoping this is going to be explored further in later installments as, for a large part of this book, Annev was essentially able bodied due to a magical prosthetic he never takes off.

Unfortuantely the most interesting part of this book, for me, was the mythological world building at the start of each part in the book. The myths, clearly based on Norse mythology (I’m sorry but “Odar” was a bit obvious), were fascinating, particularly as they started to have an influence on the events of the main narrative. I just wanted to know more about the gods than the actual story, this is probably a me issue though... The main plotline felt generic: Annev is a boy in a coming of age story, complete with a magic(ish) assassin school, a wise old mentor, and a destiny/prophesy surrounding him. It’s a typical fantasy story, so far, and while I do really enjoy these plotlines (I read enough of them!) it’s not exactly the most original. Nevertheless, I am excited to see where Call goes with this as I do think the rest of the series will start growing into something much more interesting and I look forward to Master Artificer.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte - this is one of my favourite books of all time, we all know this by now... See my full review for Bronte’s masterpiece here.

The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley - July has been the month of Natasha Pulley for me because I’ve rediscovered just how much I LOVE her books. I first read Pulley back in...what, 2017? (It’s been a while...) with her debut novel, The Watchmaker of Filigree Street which I remember loving, but I never continued with The Bedlam Stacks, the only other available book by Pulley at the time. To be frank with you, it’s because at 18/19 I wasn’t that interested in Peru. However, I now really want to read The Kingdoms, Pulley’s new release, but I felt obliged to read the books I already owned by her and hadn’t read - so I picked up The Bedlam Stacks as it’s the one I’ve owned the longest without having read it...

Not reading The Bedlam Stacks back then was the best decision I’ve ever made because I know at 18 I wouldn’t have appreciated what a stunning masterpiece this book is - it would have flown over my head because, at the time, I just wanted more Thaniel and Mori. At 23 I ADORED this book. I absolutely fell in love with the subtle whimsy and quite, understated beauty of this story. Pulley has such an elegant way of writing, it’s never overdone - she has a way of playing with words which reads beautifully but doesn’t feel like too much. She’s never flowery or purple with her prose, but she does create a work of art.

Unfortunately, The Bedlam Stacks is a book I think a lot of people may struggle with - there’s not a lot of plot, everything is a bit weird, and it’s largely a character study for our two main characters: Merrick Tremayne and Raphael. Merrick’s journey to Peru to find quinine - a cure for malaria - for the British Empire is really a set up to allow the rest of the book to focus on these two characters. It’s centred on the very slow development of their relationship together, coming to understand each other, and eventually open up about themselves - well this is more in Raphael’s case. It’s a poignant story about two people finding a home with each other that will endure across time and distance - it’s not quite a romance, but it’s certainly more than a friendship. Personally I read them as ace, but there is definitely scope here to read them in a variety of other ways depending on your own experiences. But what is certain is their deep connection, and that their love (platonic or otherwise) is what drives the outcome of this story.

It’s beautiful, poignant, and slightly tragic when you think about it... I loved every minuet of it and just wanted the book to continue, I was genuinely sad it was over! It’s not a novel for everyone, and I do think the opening section needed some more work as it did feel like Pulley was saying ‘lets get over this necessary but boring set up’. However, it was exactly what I wanted and I’m so happy I’ve finally read it.

I’m also much more interested in Peru now, so that’s something else to hold in it’s favour!

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley - I’m falling slightly out of order here but it seems better to continue with Pulley’s books. Most of the same praise I gave to The Bedlam Stacks can be repeated here - Pulley’s writing is slightly weaker here but it’s only really noticable because I read both books one after the other and I was thinking about her prose. The same whimsical, poetic, and understated style is used in both books and it really suits the type of stories Pulley like to tell - and again it’s a style that really works for me.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street I think is a slightly more universally likeable story - although I would argue Pulley is an acquired taste. There is a bit less whimsy, and the relationship between Thaniel and Mori is more easily quantifiable for readers. There is also a more obvious plotline to follow, whilst still developing three compelling characters with Mori, Thaniel, and Grace. Personally I don’t love Grace - I find her brash and callous - however, she does have as good of an arc as Thaniel and Mori, she’s also someone who regularly get overlooked when people talk about this book. She’s not someone I like or approve of, but I do really understand where she’s coming from and can appreciate her growth. Pulley doesn’t need us to like Grace - or any of her characters - she presents them as they are and lets us cast our own judgements on them, and I sincerely love this about her. (I’m also so up for reading more about Grace and her relationship with Matsumoto, they’re fabulous together!)

The main draw to this book is definitely the relationship between Thaniel and Mori - how could you not love them? They’re fascianting to watch - together and separately - and throughout the course of this nove you really feel them grow into their relationship. It’s beautiful to watch and feels genuine. Their bond is earnt, not just presented to us as a fact. However, what I really love about Mori and Thaniel is the slightly sinister route Mori takes to make sure he meets Thaniel. Honestly, in any other book Mori would be horrifying with his slightly callous use of his abilities to manipulate the world around him to achieve his own ends. However, with the narrative framing here he’s slightly toned down, it’s a spectacular example of framing shaping audience perspectives on a character. It’s great and I appreciate the sensitivity Pulley used to shape Mori and the relationship between him and Thaniel. I’m also really looking forward to seeing how they develope in The Lost Future of Pepperharrow.

Henry V by William Shakespeare - I don’t really have a lot to say about Henry V... I’ve never felt that strongly about this play - it’s fine? It’s a FABULOUS play to watch (I’ve partial to the Tom Hiddleston version in The Hollow Crown) but to read it’s merely okay. There are some fantastic and very famous speeches - and I absolutely adore the Chorus. However, as a whole the play is merely a decent one. I’m always left a bit uncomfortable with how Shakespeare treats the French, and I’m yet to work out where I stand on Henry as a person and the morality of the war... It’s something to ponder and maybe write something on at a later date.

Unfortunately, this one falls into a similar issue as the Henry IV plays - I just don’t like the common men plotline within this one... It’s slightly better because Falstaff isn’t in this play, except in name (I have an absolute burning hatred of Falstaff... Like we could burn him out of English literature and I’d dance on the ashes level of hatred, it’s perhaps sllightly irrational but I loathe him. I’d otherwise like the Henry IV plays but I see Falstaff and I’m immediately full of seething rage. It’s apparently very funny for my best friend.) However, I just find the common men a tedious distraction from the rest of the play. I switch off whenever I’m watching the play and they’re on stage/screen. I know why they’re there I just don’t care - it’s a me issue, I’m well aware.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling - okay I’m not going to write much on Half-Blood Prince as a whole becasue 1. Rowling herself, and 2. I’m going to rank the Harry Potter books when I’ve finished with Deathly Hallows. Overall, I loved this book, it’s always been one of my favourite Potter novels and my reread only cemented its place. The plot is genuinely interesting and well thought out, it’s one of the best books for exploring Harry as a character (I adore seeing his darker side!), and the set up for the finale is excellent. I actually perfer it to Deathly Hallows because the promises it makes are more interesting than the actual execution of the book.

However, I do want to say that this book made Snape my new favourite character - I won’t explain why yet, I need to do a full spoiler discussion of ALL the Harry Potter books, including Deathly Hallows. But Snape is by far the best drawn character in the Potter series. He’s certainly not the nicest, kindest of most likeable. Snape’s not a moral paragon, neither has he ‘done nothing wrong’ as I’ve seen argued. But he is the most interesting and morally complex.

Everytime I’ve read Potter before, Snape’s a character I’ve not really thought about - which is shocking considering how much he’s in these books, the role he plays, and the discourse around him in the Harry Potter fandom. I’ve always just gone along with the face-value presentation of his character. Yet on this reread I’ve paid attention to Snape, not deliberately, it just naturally happened. Anyway, to cut a long story short - Snape is my new favourite character! Yes Lupin is still my irrational, undying favourite. But, in terms of having a genuine interest and reason for loving him Snape is my new favourite because he is so complicated! He’s someone I’ve come to understand and sympathise with. I don’t condone Snape, I still think he’s a piece of work who should NEVER be allowed around children. But he is a good person. Again not nice, likeable, or morally sound. Yet he does spend the best part of 20 years working tirelessly for good without praise, acknowledgement, or recongition.

He’s a fascinating character and I’ve adored diving into his mind, as much as you can in this very Harry-centric series, without the accepting bias of a child’s eyes. Snape’s one of the few characters in Harry Potter I’d like to read a book about - I’ve neber been one to want a Marauder’s spin off or Hogwarts founding story. But I think diving into Snape’s mind would genuinely be worth it and an interesting experiment, I just don’t think J.K. Rowling would be the right author to do it.

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Nebula | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 2701

A/N: When I first wrote Galaxy I intended for it to be a oneshot, but I can’t get enough of the dynamic between Spencer and Reader. This is part 3 to Galaxy and Supernova, though you don’t really have to read them to understand what’s going on.

GALAXY MASTERLIST

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR 12x13 (Spencer), mentions of drug use

For the first time since you joined the Bureau, you didn’t want to go. It was selfish, but you didn’t want to go because you didn’t think you could handle seeing him. Nonetheless, you knew if roles were reversed he wouldn’t hesitate to be there for you so you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and stepped onto the jet anyways.

The rest of the team knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you. It wasn’t easy for them either, but there was a cosmic connection between you and Doctor Spencer Reid that they all knew made this exponentially more difficult for you.

Emily didn’t complain when you stayed impossibly close to her on the jet, eyes cast downward in silence while you listened to them strategize. Rossi kept providing you snacks to eat while on the flight to Mexico, compassionately reminding you that you needed it to keep your strength up whenever there was a lull in conversation. Luke kept careful eyes on your tells, ready to step in if you showed any increased signs of anxiety. He wasn’t as good at noticing them as Spencer was, having worked with you for significantly less time, but the Army veteran had picked up on your lingering military traumas early on in his employment with the team and had been there for you especially when Spencer took time off to care for his mom.

They needed you, and more importantly Spencer needed you, so they were going to do everything they could to keep you in one piece until they could figure out what had happened in Mexico.

Emily took charge when you stepped into the police precinct, commandeering the officers in a way only Emily Prentiss could. You followed Luke to the holding cell, and that’s when you saw him.

Spencer’s eyes slowly met yours and you could immediately tell something was off. Luke started talking to him, and you watched as Spencer struggled to remember your colleague. You were too scared to ask Spencer if he remembered you. Seeing your best friend so out of it terrified you. Spencer Reid was the sharpest person you knew, this dishevelment was uncharacteristic and you felt yourself having a hard time believing the man on the other side of the bars was your favorite doctor.

Luke’s phone ringing pulled you back into the present. You weren’t going to be of any help to anyone, especially Spencer, if you were catatonic. Instead of standing safely on the shore, you had to let yourself get caught in the riptide and pulled into this mess.

“Spencer,” you spoke for the first time since Emily had broke the news to the group of you that morning. You could tell the drugs were making it hard for him to focus, “Spencer, listen to me.”

“(y/n),” he rasped. He remembered you.

“Hey, I trust you,” even in his inebriated state, you both felt the weight of your words.

“(y/n),” he repeated. You knew he understood. When Luke came back he had some revelations from Garcia and the rest of the team back in Quantico. Even though Spencer denied wanting company while the other agents went to check out the motel and the whereabouts of Nadie Ramos, you stayed with him.

You sat on the floor with your back against the wall, watching your best friend carefully. The concrete wasn’t comfortable by any means, but you were not going to let anything else harm the man who was so close yet so far away. You received a lot of strange looks from the passing officers, but you didn’t move. Even when your phone rang, you stayed put.

“JJ,” you answered quietly, watching Spencer’s even breathing as he slept on the bench in the cell.

“How are you holding up?

“I’m… not, but I can deal with it later. Spencer is our priority right now,” you weren’t sure if you were reminding her or yourself.

“How is he?”

“Sleeping for now, hopefully sobering up. This is gut-wrenching. He told me about what happened with Tobias Hankel… I can’t even imagine what it was like for him then. How is Diana?”

“She’s stable, I checked in with her earlier. Cassie’s taking good care of her, you don’t have to worry.”

“Will you keep checking in with her until I get back and let me know if anything changes? Whatever he was doing down here has to do with her, I just need to figure out what it was. I wish he would have told me,” you gritted your teeth.

“That was going to be my next question. You didn’t know about any of this?”

“I knew he was traveling to talk to doctors. He’s been doing it for a few months now, I would spend extra time with Diana while he was gone. I always asked about his trips, nothing he told me ever raised a red flag, though. It was always ‘Met with this doctor, talked about that clinical trial, got this new medication to try.’ I should have known…”

“I’ve been saying the same thing. I don’t know how I missed it, or why he wouldn’t tell us,” you could hear the desperation in her voice.

“We’re going to figure it out. We have to figure it out. We’re getting him out of here,” you told her. You weren’t sure how convinced JJ was at your words but she accepted them anyways, bidding you goodbye when Garcia pulled her into some new information on their end of the case.

“Who was that?” you almost missed the gravely words from Spencer’s mouth when you took the phone away from your ear.

“It was JJ,” you told him.

“Are you going to ask me more questions? I still can’t… can’t remember.” Your heart broke.

“I’m not here to ask you questions, Spence. I’m here to make sure you’re safe.”

“Because you trust me.”

“Because I trust you,” you repeated. He was quiet again until the sun came up, and Emily, Rossi and Luke returned from the motel. Emily pulled you to the side when they showed up, though you wouldn’t let her take you anywhere where you couldn’t have eyes on Spencer.

“That motel room was a mess,” she told you honestly. You had spoken with her on the phone earlier, so you knew most of the finer details.

“It doesn’t look good for him, does it?”

“On the surface, no. The Mexican authorities have everything they need to lock him up, but if we can find something that proves Scratch is framing him we’ll have a better chance.”

You crossed your arms and shifted your weight, mind reeling with possibilities.

When Inspector Casteneda let you into the holding cell shortly after, you planted yourself at Spencer’s side and did not move. Just being in closer proximity to the doctor helped you feel better. Your friendship had never been very touchy-feely, you and Spencer both having reasons that you preferred to limit your physical contact, so the comfort that you found was merely by presence. You always had a clearer head when Spencer was close by, and this was no exception.

You kept your mouth shut while the other agents and Casteneda discussed Spencer’s tox screen and the possibilities of a cognitive interview. When Casteneda pulled out the vials, you watched the first glimpse of memory cross your friend’s face. You tensed, waiting to step in if you needed to.

“Whatever’s in those vials, I was giving it to my mom. That’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

“You can use any of the rooms down the hall,” Casteneda pointed before leaving your little group of agents alone.

“I don’t think a cognitive is a good idea,” you finally spoke, stepping in front of Spencer defensively to stop him from following Emily.

“Why not?” she turned back to you. You were acutely aware of Rossi and Luke watching the exchange.

You glanced over your shoulder at Spencer, who was gazing at you with red-rimmed eyes.

“Your head isn’t clear enough yet.”

“I can still try,” he piped up from behind you. Emily raised her eyebrows, questioning how far you were going to fight this.

“I don’t want him accidentally implicating himself while there are still drugs in his system that could structure false memories.”

“With all the time he’s missing, that might happen anyways. This cognitive could give us some important information, just as much as it might give us false. We don’t have a lot of time, (y/n),” Emily was firm.

From a profiling standpoint, she was right. Any time was precious time, and Spencer had definitely come down enough to form more coherent thoughts. Your role in this case was not that of a profiler, though. It was like you had told Spencer a few hours prior, you were there to make sure he was safe, that whoever did this to him didn’t come back, and that he didn’t go to prison. You trusted that he didn’t commit the crimes he was facing, and you weren’t going to let him being doped up change that.

“I trust you,” Spencer spoke again, blinking slowly. You looked at Emily pointedly, “but I want to do the cognitive.”

“Spencer,” you pleaded. Letting your emotions come into play wouldn’t work with Emily but there was a chance you could get through with them to Spencer. You stared at each other intensely, none of your other colleagues daring to say a word.

Choosing to do a cognitive was something a coherent, clearheaded Spencer would do, you reasoned. As much as you still believed in your gut that he wasn’t ready, you trusted him.

“Let me do the interview,” you tried.

“No,” every agent in the room spoke at the same time, even Spencer. That was how you found yourself sitting on the floor again, this time outside of the room Emily was interviewing Spencer in.

Luke and Rossi came to stand protectively next to you. You knew they were keeping something from you, but you didn’t dare ask what. You were too busy staring down the man guarding the door. Screw international relations, you were ready to start a war with the entire country of Mexico for their wrongful arrest of Spencer.

Luke exchanged a few words in Spanish with the guard, before nudging you with his foot.

“What?”

“Take a breath, (y/n). He just asked me if you bite. If looks could kill you’d have murdered everyone in this precinct already.”

“Even if I did, they’d probably arrest Spencer and blame him for it,” you grumbled. Before either of the men could say anything, Emily stepped out of the interview room. She spoke quickly to the guard, who went inside. You were on your feet as soon as Emily shut the door. Luke grabbed your elbow as Emily told you about the cognitive, though you didn’t understand why until he spoke.

“They just charged Reid with the murder of Nadie Ramos.”

You thought your knees were going to give out. You would have been back on the floor if Luke hadn’t had a firm grip on your arm. Emily spoke some more, but your entire focus was on the door in front of you. Slowly it opened, the guard escorting Spencer back to the holding cell.

“I’m going with him,” you said, tearing your arm away from Luke and pushing past the other agents. Inspector Casteneda tried to stop you from entering the holding cell, but you put your foot down.

“I’ve been around more killers with him than I have with you. If he tries to kill me, so be it, maybe you’ll actually have something to charge him for,” you stepped past the man and plunked down on a bench facing Spencer.

“Is my mom ok?”

“Yeah, JJ’s keeping tabs on her. She’s safe. How’s your head?”

“Getting clearer, I think.”

“Good,” you whispered, settling into silence.

Emily didn’t look fazed when she saw you sitting in the cell with Spencer. She had Matt and Clara with her, and between them and Garcia you were somehow able to establish concurrent jurisdiction over Spencer’s case. Still, you had to watch them handcuff your best friend and start walking him away while Emily was on the phone. Finally she hung up.

“They’re taking it to their brass. Go get him,” she looked at you and Luke. You raced after him, letting Luke do the talking once you caught up to the officers. Saving Spencer from going to a maximum security prison was the highest priority right now, your beef with the Mexican police wouldn’t do you any good in remedying that.

Things moved quickly once Emily had made the proper phone calls, but you didn’t feel yourself start to relax until you were seated safely next to Spencer on the jet couch.

He reached over, taking your hand in his own and moving his fingers up to your wrist, starting to fidget with the bracelet you always wore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” his voice was soft, meant only for you.

“I wish you had, Spence. I really do, but there’s nothing we can do to change that now. We just have to fight until we figure out what’s going on,” you leaned closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help down there.”

“I’m on my way home, aren’t I?”

“No thanks to me. If I had acted how I wanted, we’d both be on our way to El Diablo right now,” you joked half-heartedly.

“You’re the only person I’d want to go to jail with,” he joked back.

“I don’t know, your odds might be better if you picked Prentiss. She got beat up by a cult leader for you, that’s hardcore.”

“She also faked her own death, who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again as an escape plan? You wouldn’t leave me,” while this kind of banter was normal for the two of you, it felt weird discussing theoretical jail when prison was a very real possibility for the man sitting next to you.

“I won’t leave you. Ever. No matter what, you’re stuck with me,” you reminded him.

“Even if I’m in prison for the rest of my life?”

“You’re not going to be in prison for the rest of your life,” you grumbled, “but even if you were, I wouldn’t miss a visiting day. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Spence.”

“I know,” he whispered, “how do you think this is going to end?”

“Best case, we get a tip-top legal team and you’re acquitted before there’s even speculation of you going to prison,” your confidence was evident.

“And worst case?”

“I don’t want to think about that.”

“I want to know, (y/n). I trust you,” he wasn’t going to let you off the hook that easily.

You sighed, “you were framed for everything illegal that happened in Mexico. I have no doubts about that, never had, never will. Worst case, we can’t prove it and you serve a full sentence because of it.”

“You will prove it though.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s us. Honestly, I think it’ll fall somewhere in the middle. Even with the best of the best legal team, there’s still a lot of uncertainty about what happened. It might take time to put all of the pieces together.”

“I appreciate your honesty,” Spencer’s voice dropped even quieter, “everyone else is walking on eggshells around me.”

“To be fair, you were pretty heavily drugged when we first got down there. And the jeans? It was like looking at a stranger, you weren’t yourself.”

“You don’t like the jeans?” you could tell he was teasing to try to lighten the mood.

“I really don’t. The first thing I’m doing when we get back home is finding you some Pretty Boy pants.”

“Of all of the priorities you could have,” he laughed.

“You’re the only you we’ve got, Spencer. Prison, drugs, Mexico, Alzheimer’s, I’m not letting anything take quintessential you away from us, even if it means getting you a new pair of pants.”

GALAXY MASTERLIST

[mudwingpropaganda]

(Princess) Kinkajou of the RainWings

I want to believe that Kinkajou is actually a biological descendant of Grandeur, but it doesn’t truly matter because she was supporting Glory for the throne and heritage does not equal merit. Kinkajou is fascinating character who took so many punches yet shes never properly thanked or appreciated for them? I think Kinkajou ought to be more painfully optimistic. As a partial foil to Sunny. She’s not optimistic because she NEEDS to be the one keeping the group optimistic. Kinkajou remains happy because of somewhat emotionally stunting double standards in the RainWing queendom and the act that tears only get you so far. Confidence and energy is what people respond to.

Kinkajou deserves so much more than what canon gave her. Tui might have said “her story is over,” but I seriously disagree. Let’s open her book in the first place.

Design headcanons

I may have leaned a tad far into the idea of her design being physically representational of my ideas for her, but let’s just say these are her comfort colors. The default! They spontaneously flicker with pink and yellow patterns but her default is a banana yellow and bright pink combination, with intruding grey scales on the edge of her torso. (I imagine her underbelly is also similarly melting into pink colors, as her wings are. I just didn’t have the foresight while drawing this.)

I referenced a kinkajou in designing Kinkajou! As a result, her paws seem a little too big for her and she has little ears as opposed to Glory’s more serpentine/bird appearance. Kinkajou’s frill is an example of a feathered RainWing that have plumage similar to a bird of paradise that is also susceptible to the color changing pigmentation.

Her eyes are a striking jungle green, the most natural color on her.

I believe that her time under the NightWing’s grasp definitely should have a more visual representation on her. It may be exaggerated but... art is such. She retains indents where cuffs and chains essentially squeezed on her scales and snout. Her scales tend to dull and turn grey if she is not consciously keeping control over these body parts, yet she has more trouble changing the color of her afflicted indents. 

Her wing is illustrated with the venom wound she suffered from the accident she had in the Queen competition. Her wings struggled to fold back into her sides after the event and regardless if she had these scars removed or not through “magic,” she finds it awkward trying to put her wings back.

I imagine she had more of a full mane of plumage in store, but due to the stress on the island, they struggle to grow healthily behind her ears. 

A personal headcanon of mine is the most noticable circular scales on a RainWing is the clearest indicator of their current emotions. Glory’s was an angry red-orange. Kinkajou’s tends to default, like her indents, to a grey if she doesn’t pay attention. A numbness.

Miscellaneous thoughts

Kinkajou could have been a fascinating case study about the flaws of the RainWings’ lifestyle. Rather than their flaws being a foolish, uneducated, lazy tribe, the RainWings could have been at fault for putting too much trust in their young, making subjects feel obligated to put on a happy face, and their violently isolationist tendencies. Dragonets may be obligated to reach out to adults for help if they need it, not the other way around. That’s why she self isolated to personally focus on her venom practice lest infuriate Bromeliad further. It’s why she maintains a bright yellow and pink coloration rather than subject other dragons to her emotions. It’s why Kinkajou never quite thought she would be able to escape the NightWing island. 

When she was young, Queen Grandeur also realized that Kinkajou was one of her own descendants, making Kinkajou a princess. Grandeur may have been the only one concerned catching wind that Kinkajou went missing, but her perception of RainWings as lazy beings was a personal bias that took away any sympathy she had for her offspring, assuming the dismissals were true that she simply went lost in the woods.

Kinkajou’s upbringing really affected her! She begins dropping her ideals of being an ideal RainWing due to her trauma chipping away at her. Especially the fact that she now realizes the extents of what the Queen, her friend, Glory, goals mean when it comes to a symbiotic shared queendom between the RainWings and those who experimented on her for months, or maybe even longer, until Glory finally took action. 

Kinkajou retains scars from the NightWing island, both physical and mentally. Scars from her bonds and greying scales from a jarring transfer from a flourishing environment to something significantly harmful for her body and color shifting scales. And aside from that, she developed PTSD from the events on the island. Between nightmares, the occasional flashback if someone jostles her... she herself has compartmentalized the experience so she herself doesn’t fully remember the events of the island. But she remembers things at extremely inconvenient times. Especially around NightWings.

Her friendship with Moonwatcher was initially based on the mental note she makes that Moonwatcher isn’t a “real NightWing.” Originally, Queen Glory asked that Kinkajou, as her friend, made the effort to connect with NightWings attending the school, which panicked her. But Moonwatcher didn’t have anything to do with it. In fact, she spent as much time and she did in the rainforest! If not, more. And there’s an envy that Moon never faced any of the ugliness of the NightWings! But a disconnect that maintains their friendship. It isn’t until they begin to bond on their across the world adventure that they begin to trust each other outside of the fact that they were supposed to. It’s difficult! Of course! Especially when Chameleon (another great victim of the RainWing culture), taking the form of Shapeshifter to incapacitate her. Yet it was Moon’s face that greeted her when she woke from her coma. Who had been by her side intent on her recovery. 

A lot of what Kinkajou does is to try and reinstate normality and an environment she finally feels comfortable in, essentially! She feels out of touch with other RainWing dragonets, not enough to be around them, and inevitably confides her self worth mostly to the Jade Winglet, as they don’t know what a RainWing is supposed to be like. She assigns a crush to Winter to make her childhood feel more normal, even if she doesn’t really feel it. 

Kinkajou has internalized a LOT of the shit that was thrown at her. To the point where she doesn’t consciously recognize that she’s been putting on a happy face for so long, aside when she needs to put her scales back in their classic pink and yellow. Even when Moon sees her mind, she struggles to recognize if those thoughts really belong to her or not, assuming the ash and glow of lava is that of a NightWings’, not hers. 

Queen Glory is the main dragon that teaches her how to read. Her and Moonwatcher were both somewhat or basically illiterate when they started their educations. But are both are passionate about literature. Where Kinkajou becomes an avid writer and attempts to to become a journalist for kingdom specific and international news for the continent! She assists Starflight in the library of Jade Mountain occasionally. But she also helps establish libraries and such in the Rain Forest! She helps Glory develop an education system that doesn’t sacrifice culture for secular curriculum.

LGBT+ headcanons

I would say that Kinkajou is a questioning genderqueer individual and still uses she/her pronouns but is growing partial to neutral they/them and doesn’t object to other terms used to address her. She is generally flexible with how she is perceived as long as she is perceived respectfully.

Kinkajou is also panromantic but also on the aro and ace spectrums! She muses the idea of finding a partner eventually, but finds platonic relationships easier to establish and grow than the prospect of a romantic one. Like how she simply plays with the idea of Winter being her crush for the sake of personal normalcy in her childhood and, honestly, Anemone’s little innocent emotional manipulation spell? Yeah. That never happened. Kinkajou’s oblivious to Turtle’s feelings. Attractions fly RIGHT over her head, from others or her own self. She also may have queer platonic partners perhaps? I don’t make the rules. Love is love! uwu

[rotationalsymmetry]

General gripes about DS9 and gender (some spoilers) (content notes: some references to sexual abuse/trauma, and specifically spiritual abuse/sexual misconduct in religious leaders, also death/murder):

I swear to fuck these people do not know how to write female characters without shoehorning them into romance plotlines. (Or weird fucked up stuff, like when that Cardassian serial murderer kidnaps Kira.) Especially noticeable with Ziyal -- when Kira takes her to DS9, the writers apparently can't think of a single thing to do with a young woman other than ship her with a much older Cardassian. Then, she's starting to get her own life and make a name for her as an artist, and they fucking refridgerator her. The fuck. (And: the focus is on how her death affects Dukat, that fucker. Which, obviously sure it's going to affect him...but it's also going to affect Kira, who sees Ziyal as like a younger version of herself and was trying to protect her. And then Ziyal dies. That should have some sort of effect on Kira! And did no one else on the station make any sort of connection with her when she was there?) This is arguably not primarily a gender thing, but it is partly a gender thing: the show keeps demanding Kira find sympathy for her oppressors, over and over again. (This is a gripe fest: of course there's a lot of things about Kira's character that are done really well.) She keeps getting thrown in situations that show (some) Cardassians in more nuanced lights and that more or less force her into relationships with them, while meanwhile her old resistance cell friends all get killed off, her parents are dead, if she has any other family we don't hear about it, and she's basically left with no Bajoran friends even, as far as we know. She gets Bajoran lovers who... OK, about that. First, Vedek Bareil. Now, Bajorans are shown to have a pretty relaxed attitude towards their clergy (eg Kira is frequently rude to Winn even after she becomes Kai with apparently no consequences) -- but still. Vedek is roughly equivalent to, what, cardinal? He's high up in the heirarchy. And, he's put himself in a role of spiritual authority relative to Kira: she gets access to one of the Orbs through him. They've got a power imbalance and one that's connected to Kira's ability to do her religion. I don't care what the social norms are on Bajor that is 100% sexual misconduct on Bareil's part. If something went wrong in their relationship, it could fuck up Kira's connection to her faith. And in the show it's presented as no big deal.

(Star Trek seems to be aware of this when it comes to ship's captains! For all that Kirk notoriously fucks everyone, he never voluntarily (/outside of the mirror universe, outside of odd transporter malfunctions that split him into two parts, etc) came on to a crew member. But it's no less important for religious authorities.) (Also: this has nothing to do with celebacy. I'm fine with Bajoran religious figures being allowed to have sex and being allowed to have sex outside of marriage. But: a religious leader having a sexual relationship with someone who they're in a pastoral relationship to is wrong, and while Bareil isn't exactly Kira's pastor I think there is some level of, he's providing spiritual guidance to her. That means she's off limits to him, or should be. In the same way that bosses shouldn't fuck their direct reports, college professors shouldn't fuck their students, therapists definitely shouldn't fuck their patients, etc. Regardless of how they handle their sex life outside of those restrictions. And regardless of whether there's love involved or not -- romantic love absolutely does not make it better.) And then there's Shakaar, the former leader of her resistance cell. That she joined as a teenager. It's...yeah, it's been many years, yeah she's not directly under him any more, and yeah goodness knows a band of resistance fighters is probably not going to have a clearly written up sexual harassment policy so it's not necessarily unrealistic...it's not as blatantly "oh god no" as Bareil, but it's got some...is anyone thinking of potential abuse of power issues here? Anyone?

There was one episode where Jake and Nog were double-dating and it goes badly due to Ferengi, uh, gender roles not meshing well with Federation egalatarianism. And, then the rest of the episode is all about how they're going to repair their friendship. And I was thinking: we didn't see either female character either before or after, and why is a sexism issue being shown from the lens of "how can I, a nice guy, stay friends with my male friend who has sexism issues" and not "how am I, a young woman, going to deal with this affront to my basic personhood" or "how am I, a young woman, going to repair my friendship now that I talked my friend into a double date so I could date the guy I liked but his friend turned out to be garbage?" Like...out of all the potential relationships there, why is Jake's friendship with a guy with sexism issues (who's made it clear he's not going to change, at least as far as dating goes) the one presented as being in most need of preservation? I know, it's because Jake and Nog are more central characters and their friendship has been significant in the show for seasons now. But...that just brings up more questions. Like why does this show have a significant bro friendship between two teenage boys, but there's no friendship between two women (or between a woman and a man for that matter) that's given as much weight? There's some bonding between Kira and Dax, but it doesn't have the same presence and significance as Jake and Nog or, say, Miles and Julian. (I'm having first name/last name inconsistencies here. Ah well.) Keiko has no on-camera friendships. Kira has no on-camera friendships that have Jake & Nog or Julian & Miles weight. Dax maybe does with her Klingon buddies from Curzon's lifetime. (Benjamin Sisko also doesn't.) Ziyal could have, but doesn't. Molly could have, but doesn't. Miles doesn't seem to have any (on-camera or otherwise acknowledged) parent friends (like...there's one couple mentioned who can babysit Molly at times? That's it? We never even see them?), which is weird because fuck knows parenthood can make it hard to have any friends who aren't parents. Odo's got his weird frenemy thing with Quark. Garak has his standing lunch with Julian (if you read that as platonic, which ... yeah, there's not a lot of arguments for seeing it as platonic beyond "they're both men.") I am, don't get me wrong, extremely for showing male friendships. Very much for it. It's just...I want friendships that aren't between two guys also. And I want them to be shown as significant and meaningful and worth overcoming obstacles for. Friendships between women, friendships between people of the same race or culture (or alien species, since we are talking Star Trek here), friendships between men and women that aren't just a precursor to romance. And...parenting that isn't just...I want to see Keiko have problems with parenting that she overcomes with help from other people. I want to explore the emotional ramifications of Kira being a surrogate mom to Kirayoshi or being a semi adopted mom to Ziyal and then having her die. I want Kira to talk about how her own upbringing in times of famine and war and occupation affects her sense of her ability to potentially be a parent. I want a female character to calmly talk about her decision to not become a mother and have that decision be treated with the utmost respect. I want the sort of struggles that male characters have with parenting on the show, like Worf's difficulty connecting with his son or Benjamin's conflict over watching his son grow up and get less interested in spending time with his dad, be shown for female characters as well. And the joys, like when Benjamin remembers holding Jake as an infant, like when they reunite after Jake gets caught in a war zone. Rather than parenting be this thing that mom characters apparently do on autopilot without any internal conflict or feeling out of their depth or particular moments of joy and amazement. There's so many plot lines and moments and bits and pieces that could be amazing moments that give

mother characters balance and nuance and characterization, but they only ever get shown for fathers. (And this is not just Star Trek either...look at all the kids movies that are about father/son or father/daughter bonding, and somehow the moms...just aren't there. It's so good when there are single father storylines, just...where are all the mom storylines that could be like that?) And why do teenage boys get focus and their own stories (especially with Jake in DS9, but also TNG has Wesley Crusher and Alexander, and TOS had one story centering on a teenage boy) but girls either aren't there at all or don't get to have stories that are about them? Ziyal's stories aren't about her, she doesn't get to form her own friendships and only barely gets to develop an interest of her own before her life is taken away from her. Molly doesn't get stories that are about her. (And yeah, Molly's a lot younger than Jake, but those are still choices: DS9 could have been set when Molly was a teenager, or the show could have introduced a different teenage girl as a significant character, or Jake could have been a girl rather than a boy, or Benjamin could have had two children...)

[saigonharrington]

when worlds collide // Harry Potter fic

Harry Potter x teen wolf crossover

fem!harry, platonic (or is it🥴???) love between fem!harry and scott & stiles

summary: the trio was friends for years, since early childhood, but was it always perfect? Not only boys, but also Harriet was having a secret. What is going to happen now, when the truth has been told?

Harry is Harriet now btw ;)

word count: 2,4K

Words in italics are either narrator’s words or fragments from deathly hallows

requested by @aIaka2109

tagging some people who might be interested: @nerdyblogger06 @laheysdork @blessednereid

//

— — — — — —

The friendships that we create in our childhood are special. Even if they didn’t last long, they made us the way we are now. However, the ones that survived the hard times are something else. That impact is bigger, stronger, just different, but in a good way.

Being friends with Scott and Stiles for sure was magnificent. When Harriett joined that duo, making it a trio, they definitely weren’t the coolest people at school.

Some considered them quirky, nerdy, and awkward, but it didn’t really matter. They were having the best time, successfully ignoring the chatters.

Sadly, that friendship was challenging. After years of adventures, Harriett had been accepted to Hogwarts. The boys had no clue about the wizarding world, being forced to believe that she had just simply moved abroad.

It broke their hearts, but somehow they managed to spend at least half of the summer together. Harriet found it hard not to tell them everything because going to Hogwarts would be an amazing experience, but she had to follow the rules. Her parents said that it could have horrific consequences, and they just couldn’t risk everything.

Something had changed when Scott joined the supernatural world as well. He felt bad that only Stiles knew about it, but how could he tell Harriett?

He loved her, maybe a little more than a friend normally would, but he could not take the chance and lose Harriet. Imagining it was painful, and it being a reality could literally tear him apart.

But today?

Today was the big day for both sides. Stiles and Scott were only miles away from the Dursley’s house, revising the words from the speech that they prepared. They weren’t sure if they were ready to open up, but it was high time to do it. They cannot keep this secret for long.

The boys were just around the corner when Scott had stopped and tried to focus on his hearing abilities.

“I think something’s happening outside the Dursley’s house. Stay here, I’ll try to take a look and check what the conversation is about”

“No dude, I’ll go with you” Stiles replied eagerly, but Scott only shook his head and peeked, hiding behind the walls of the building.

“I see Dudley, and his parents...but Harriet isn’t there. It looks like they’re moving out. Oh, never mind.” Scott took another quick peek around the corner, “I noticed Harriet, but clearly she’s not going with them. There are two more people, looking rather weird.” He gave a description, leaving Stiles curious.

“But what are they talking about? Something might be wrong. I know they aren’t fond of Harriet’s existence, but would they leave her for no reason?” Stiles asked, as Scott tried to focus one more time.

“The man is named Dedalus, I also hear Dudley saying goodbye to Harriet.”

“So it’s true! They’re leaving her!” Stiles started to panic, pacing around in order to calm himself.

“They will see us if you won’t stay still. Let me continue doing my job.” Scott stated, his tone flat.

“And?” Stiles asked after a few minutes, feeling a little more relaxed.

“Okay, something is definitely wrong. These two people sound like they are not humans at all. They don’t understand how to drive a car.”

“Do you think they’re like you? But you can drive a car… maybe they’re like Malia? Hidden in the woods for years, not knowing what is going on in the world…”

“I mean we can’t reject that option. They might not be werewolves, but even I don’t know every creature from the bestiary. We have to ask Harriet.”

“But when? Are we going to wait until they all disappear? It might take a while.” Stiles started asking a lot of unnecessary questions, but Scott wasn’t listening to him.

“They’ve just left” Scott replied, getting ready to step out of their hiding spot.

“No! Wait a minute. If we go now, she might figure out that we were eavesdropping.” Stiles chimed in.

“Fine. But it shouldn’t matter, since, you know, we want to tell the truth. She will feel obligated to explain it to us as well.”

Harriet was now ready to close the door and sit in the almost empty house alone. She didn’t know if she should feel sad, that everything is changing so fast and is out of control, or happy, because she got rid of the Dursley’s and can taste the freedom that she waited for so long.

She heard the weird sound of someone creeping, immediately feeling in danger.

Harriet held her wand in her hand, just in case the use of Expelliarmus might be needed.

“What are you guys doing?! I was ready to punch you!” She yelled, hiding her wand quickly, hoping that they didn’t see it.

“Thanks for your kind welcome, Harriet.” Stiles replied sarcastically.

“We aren’t here to harm you, darling.” Scott added. “There’s just something that we want to talk about. Can we come in?”

Harriet nodded, and the three found themselves in the kitchen, where Scott had found himself a bottle of water.

“Could you explain why the Dursleys left?” Stiles asked directly, not being able to keep it in.

“Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. It’s a… long story” She tried to avoid this topic, but not today.

The boys were ready to tell everything, and she had to be even with them.

“They were talking about magic. There were two people that didn’t know how to use a car. I don’t think that they were kidding.” Stiles blurted out of nowhere, making Scott split the water of his mouth.

“What we mean is… we heard something while getting there. I know it sounds weird, but honestly, everything is not normal. Please say that you can explain it to us. It won’t frighten us. In fact, we have something not-so-typical to tell you as well.” He said after punching Stiles in the arm because he planned to handle it differently.

“I… don’t know how to start. Even if you won’t be frightened, please just promise me you won’t get mad. I had to keep this a secret.” She started the monologue, making all of them to sit on the floor, so no one could hit his head while fainting.

Telling everything from the start wasn’t the easiest. She had to explain all the weird, unsaid things from their childhood, moving on to the moment when she got to Hogwarts. The stories from the school were definitely her favorite ones because after all these years she was able to share her experience with her friends.

“Woah, after hours of explaining you guys look... not as surprised as I thought you would be. But this is it. What’s your story? Hope I didn’t make you speechless…” Harriet muttered.

“Actually, I think you will feel relieved when you hear our secret. We didn’t get mad at you, so please do the same.” Scott made eye contact with his friend, making sure that he’s okay with Scott taking the lead in explaining. “Stiles, you can add something if I miss it”.

There it was, a historical moment, where two sides of the friendship got to know the secrets of the other. To be honest, they were shocked, all three of them. But considering their problems from the past, they found it easy to understand why some things weren’t said earlier. All they had to do now was try to keep up and spend some time together because they hadn't talked in months.

Harriet connected the dots immediately. Scott was a werewolf, like Lupin. There was not a chance that they knew each other, but she still imagined the meeting of these two, wondering if they would be talking about her.

Unfortunately, Scott said that he doesn’t know Remus.

“ So what are we going to do now? Now that you know that Scott is a werewolf, and you know that Harriet’s a witch. Shall we watch a movie? Too much information today.” said Stiles, trying to find a TV. “Don’t tell me that these stupid Dursleys have taken the television too.”

“They did. They left me only my bed. But never mind, because this evening I’m gonna be somewhere else. Shit, I haven’t told you about this, have I?”

Boys confirmed that they didn’t hear a word about this, so Harriet tried to tell them as much as she could, but it was harder than she thought. Maybe because she did not know what the plan was, or because she was stressed about this.

For sure it could be dangerous, not only for her but for her other friends as well. And now that Scott and Stiles came here, she felt responsible for their safety too.

Telling them about Voldemort was the most exciting part. They never really thought about Harriet’s bravery, but hearing all the stories in detail made them proud of their friend.

Harriet proved that no one should mess with her, and honestly, it impressed Scott. He had a crush on her for quite a while, and now, knowing that she takes part in the supernatural world, he didn’t feel so guilty about it.

He hid his feelings so far because he was worried that she might hate him and reject his feelings. Not anymore. He had a lot of respect for her, for her persistence and valor.

Was it bad that he wanted to kiss her right now? He tried to focus on something else, but hearing her heartbeat as he moved closer to her was making him crazy. If he couldn’t kiss her, he would want to read her mind. So he decided to shoot his shot today.

“Guys, I don’t want to worry you, but Ron has just informed me that they’re coming here in a few minutes. Please hide in this closet.” Harriet’s tone carried a hint of worry, “I don’t want more problems. We’ll talk soon, okay? And try not to leave immediately after us. You-know-who’s sympathizers might be everywhere and I don’t want you get hurt. Understood?” She asked, watching as Stiles was trying to get comfortable in the not-so-big closet.

“Harriet, can I say something?” Scott started, taking her hand and receiving approval. “I...I feel something towards you. I know it’s not the best time, but please remember that I admire you and I want to be more than friends. I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but please, take care of yourself. We will be alright, and hopefully, so will you…” Harriet interrupted his monologue, giving him a kiss, to make him shut his mouth.

“We’ll get back to this conversation soon, I promise. Now, please hide. They’re coming.”

Harriet tried to look casual, as if she was doing something normal and waiting for the visitors, but instead, she looked overwhelmed and disorganized. It took a while until she calmed herself down, and understood everything from Moody’s plan.

“Any questions?” Moody asked after the explanation.

“Er — yes,” said Harriet. “Maybe they won’t know which of the twelve secure houses I’m heading for at first, but won’t it be sort of obvious once—” Harriet performed a quick headcount, “fourteen of us fly off toward Tonks’s parents’?”

“Ah,” said Moody, “I forgot to mention the key point. Fourteen of us won’t be flying to Tonks’s parents’. There will be seven Harriet Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house.”

From inside his cloak Moody now withdrew a flask of what looked like mud.

There was no need for him to say another word; Harriet understood the rest of the plan immediately.

“No!” she said loudly, her voice ringing through the kitchen. “No way!”

“I told him you wouldn’t take it well,” said Hermione with a hint of complacency.

“If you think I’m going to let six people risk their lives —!”

“— because it’s the first time for all of us,” said Ron.

“This is different, pretending to be me —”

“Well, none of us really fancy it, mate,” said George earnestly. “Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.”

Harriet did not smile at George’s playful joke.

“You can’t do it if I don’t cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.”

“Well, that’s that plan scuppered,” said George.

“Obviously there’s no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.”

“Yeah, thirteen of us against one girl who’s not allowed to use magic; we’ve got no chance,” Fred chortled.

“Funny,” said Harriet, “really amusing.”

“If it has to come to force, then it will,” growled Moody, his magical eye now quivering a little in its socket as he glared at Harry.

“Everyone here’s of age, Potter, and they’re all prepared to take the risk.”

Mundungus shrugged and grimaced; the magical eye swerved sideways to glare at him out of the side of Moody’s head.

“Let’s have no more arguments. Time’s wearing on. I want a few of your hairs, now.” Moody ordered.

“But this is mad, there’s no need —”

Scott and Stiles were patiently waiting behind the door, trying to hear everything correctly. When they heard that there were going to be six more Harriets, they found it hard to sit still.

Stiles, being the curious one, had peeked through the small hole, because he couldn’t believe what was happening.

And he saw exactly what the people were talking about. Seven Harriets and some other adults, who were probably going to guard each one of the Potters. That was insane, and the fact that they couldn’t come closer made him and Scott a little angry.

As everyone was leaving, one of the Potters secretively winked at them, trying not to look weird by winking to a presumably empty closet.

Fortunately, only the boys saw it, others in the room weren’t paying attention, as they were trying to get ready for the adventure. That simple gesture had shown the boys that Harriet remembered them, and that she is hoping to talk to them soon.

But was there a chance for that to happen?

Scott wanted to believe that they were going to chat as soon as possible, but knowing that both of them had lots of supernatural issues around, it wasn’t going to be easy.

//

I’m sorry to inform you that this is the last fic to be published by me for now, I’m taking a break to study, I still might be active here from time to time, but I’ll come back to writing in June

I hope that you people, the 173 of you will still be there, love you guys