#piss ramble

[hansoape]

warhammer dudes will treat the female characters in the nastiest way. Degrade Celestine's and Yvraine's characters to nothing but waifu bait. Talk about what they'd like to do to sororitas with consent optional. Gleefully describe what a daemonculaba is and act like its so cool and edgy. But the minute female fans and queers start to talk about finding a male character attractive NAW that's where they draw the line. How dare we find Titus handsome. Filthy perverts degenerates all of us. Its apparently too much for them and they get really, really mad about it. Stay pissy you gross ass weirdos, your hypocrisy stinks through the walls

[unforth]

Actually I love voting for the lesser evil. It's less evil. I support that whole heartedly.

[violetsandshrikes]

[foldingfittedsheets]

One of Korben the cats most illustrious nicknames is Piss Boy Supreme. Truly, it wasn’t his fault. Korben is an immaculate groomer and whatever else can be said of him it must be noted that he’s always the tidiest cat in the house.

But the last time I took him to the vet he needed to have a dental cleaning. They knocked him out and he usually comes home high as balls and upset.

On this particular occasion he exited the carrier and I turned to release Leeloo from hers. My beloved said, “Why is Korben wet?”

I glanced over at him, slinking toward the stairs, “No, I think his fur is just scrungly, they always look like that after surgery.”

We both continued to observe him and my beloved exclaimed, “He’s dripping!”

Indeed, he was dripping. I leapt forward and scooped him up, dashing him to the upstairs bathroom. The second my fingers touched him it was immediately apparent that he was absolutely saturated with piss. He was thirteen pounds of pee soaked sham-wow.

The poor lad had been too nervous and high to pee at the vets and instead released the entirety of his bladder onto himself in the carrier.

So there we were. In the bathroom with a very inebriated and distressed sopping wet piss boy. Korben has never needed a bath in his life, he’s always been so fastidious. But he needed one now. We took that poor cat, high as balls, and stuck him in the tub.

The sounds he made were unlike any he’s ever produced. The desperate hoarse wails of an animal that knows his end is nigh. He shrieked and sobbed as we sprayed him down, and our hearts misgave us.

We relented, hauling him out to towel off. But we weren’t convinced he was clean so we kept him quarantined in the bathroom to sober up and dry off.

An hour later when we revisited him we staggered back. The whole bathroom reeked of his uriney misadventure. He was clearly too deeply soaked for a casual rinse. So to all of our mutual dismay we embarked on Korben’s second bath of his life.

He was no less distressed and only a little less high as we soaped him as thoroughly as his flailing limbs would allow. Near the end he just let out an ululating continuous wail of pain but we persisted. He was finally clean.

But the memory remains, the absolute Piss Boy Supreme.

[tallyhall-lyrics-that-match]

HEY STAFF FIX THE FUCKING ASEXUAL TAG YOU COWARDS I DON'T WANT TO SEE SOME LADY'S FUCKING FEET

[hollowboobtheory]

while I'm soapboxing, you need to quit thinking of addicts as a "them" situation. do you get irritable, groggy, and headachey without your daily coffee? congratulations! you're an addict. addiction can happen to anybody. it can happen to you. there's a decent chance it already has happened to you, just in a more socially accepted way that leads you to not think of it as an addiction.

[wathanism]

alright gang, let's do a fun little thought experiment.

which city would biden have to completely annihilate before you decide not to vote for him?

for the sake of this thought experiment, let's ignore actual real-world alliances between countries. it can be london, or paris, or athens, or barcelona, or rome, or berlin, or even an american city like new york or new orleans or los angeles or honolulu. this is all a hypothetical after all.

really consider it. if you're gonna bother to yap in my notes, at least try to engage with this question in good faith. imagine opening up the news, and you see that a bomb was dropped on this city, and then the bombs never stop. imagine you had a friend there. imagine you'd had a trip planned to meet them and see the sights. imagine every museum, every historical monument, every theatre, every university destroyed. imagine that one day, you lived in a world where this city existed, and the next, it has completely ceased to be. it's effectively been pompeii-ed out of our world entirely. there is no longer a big ben, or a parthenon, or a colosseum, or what have you. there is no longer that foreign musician you loved from this city. there are no longer sweet old grannies to share old family recipes from this part of the world. there is no longer the online friend you wanted to visit. there is no longer your vacation plans.

don't hit me with, "but it's netanyahu doing this," because israel would literally run out of ammunition in weeks without the US. don't hit me with, "but trump!" because that quite literally is not the fucking question.

which city has to completely cease to exist before you even consider that this system isn't ever going to work?

if you are still planning to vote for biden, then either a) biden could drop a nuke on any city on earth and it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for you, or b) in your mind, people and places are divided into ones that are acceptable to destroy and ones that are not. or at least, there are ones that are more acceptable to destroy than others.

come up with your answer and either realize you sound like a fascist and work to change it, or embrace that you are a fascist and stop lying to us about caring about people of color.

[noagskryf]

Do people not understand that even if someone was surrounded by money and food and water and clothing and shelter, if they physically cannot feed themselves or dress themselves, they would die? Because i feel like some people think that the Great Solution is eradicate poverty and not "accept that some disabled people do rely on constant care and no amount of resources can substitute the need for human help"

Obviously poverty and inequalities in society make it harder for disabled people to survive but i don't think some activists understand that disability itself is disabling and disability isn't just an outcome of ones circumstances

[egonkula]

"I don't think Logan would have said that, his minivan speech was so messed up!!" are we talking about the same logan??? logan in EVERY universe would say that im afraid. he is actually a mean bitch who loves to project his issues onto others!! so why are we surprised when he does it !!!

[phoenixkaptain]

Everytime I think about Obi-Wan and Anakin it’s like- I don’t ship them so much as I think they should be together at all times. I think tcw had a point, actually, and the two of them should just. Always be together. I think Anakin is Obi-Wan’s hope in an increasingly difficult life and I think Obi-Wan is Anakin’s tie to humanity when he most feels like a monster. They are intrinsically combined, from the very first movie where Obi-Wan dies at Vader’s hands with a peaceful expression.

It’s Obi-Wan begging Luke not to see Anakin in Vader while Vader searches Luke to see some sign of Obi-Wan. It’s Obi-Wan calling Anakin another pathetic lifeform to Obi-Wan being unable to process the idea of Anakin being anything but good. It’s Anakin awkwardly (adorably) shaking Obi-Wan’s hand to Anakin awkwardly (adorably) bringing up Obi-Wan during conversations with the woman he wants to seduce.

It’s Obi-Wan knowing how to fix Artoo and Obi-Wan teasing Anakin about Artoo. It’s Anakin’s first thought on losing his lightsaber being ���Obi-Wan’s going to be mad at me again” and Anakin laughing when Obi-Wan tells him to drive better.

The prequel trilogy is so fascinating because my favourite parts are always Anakin and Obi-Wan. The parts I think about the most often are those parts with Anakin and Obi-Wan. The relationship between these two drives the entirety of the plot of the prequels, to the point that the literal birth mother of the main characters of the original trilogy is all but forgotten in the third movie.

It’s. Obi-Wan spending years watching over Luke because Luke reminds him of Anakin, never approaching because what if Luke really does turn out to be like Anakin…?

It’s Vader assuming that Obi-Wan taught Luke to fight, because who else could teach a Skywalker?

It’s Obi-Wan accepting all the blame for the people he knew best, the people who were basically his family, all dying.

It’s Vader keeping Obi-Wan’s lightsaber in a parallel to Obi-Wan keeping Anakin’s.

They are just. Mutually Obsessed. Obi-Wan held up Anakin and said “this is my whole personality now” and Anakin responded with “neato, same.” They bicker like an old married couple. Anakin can’t imagine even thinking about leaving Obi-Wan behind. Obi-Wan tells Anakin point-blank that he’s a good Jedi who deserves to be a Master.

I ship them because like. The universe? Does?? They are destined to be by each other, in life and in death. They support and sustain each other. There was probably eepy Force magic stuff that made Anakin into a Force ghost because Obi-Wan wanted him to be one.

How else can I explain it? They were made for each other. Like. Literally. They should never be separated. Look what happened when they did separate in universe. They are a nuclear bomb. They have to stay together or the galaxy gets the worst of it, and that’s just canon, somehow.

[anthurak]

I will say, this exchange makes me feel pretty confident in the theory that Charlie is going to turn out to be a LOT more powerful than people, namely the sinners, give her credit for.

It's not that she can't command authority/put her foot down/literally atomize any sinner who's ever given her shit with a metaphorical snap of her fingers.

She simply doesn't WANT to.

...yet.

[bluerosefox]

The MANY Bloodlines of Constantine

Those Constantine is Danny's dad and sold his kid soul because he thought he'd actually never have one and Danny is now the Ghost King so his soul claims are invalid AUs but learns he's not Constantine only kid (after a while Constantine honestly 100% thought he'd never have kids and never bothered with a 1st born clause when making deals, maybe some annoyed deity or powerful magic user made Constantine think he can't have kids anymore just to get back at the conman) and now doing everything in his Kingly power to save his half-siblings (can be other teens from other shows or movies or cartoons etc etc) because Danny is the oldest of them and really really wants to punch his biodad for making such a huge mess he has to deal with but Danny does get to meet and protect his younger Half-siblings.

Then comes the day he's celebrating one of his half-sibs birthday with all the others when he's suddenly summoned out of the blue and meets not just the Justice League but his, and his half-sibs, no good soul selling biodad.

Hello rightly placed aggression.... Once he takes care of that powerful evil spirit that's attacking earth first of course.

[cloudeling]

there should be more romance repulsed characters. there should be more aro characters in general but i deserve characters who would rather throw themselves off a skyscraper than be in a romantic relationship

[thepisserrrrrr]

as an ND able-bodied person, i just wanna say that cpunks are NOT doing anything wrong by not allowing us in their community. its completely okay and im actually very very happy that physically disabled people finally have their own space where they dont have to deal with ableism toward them all the time

able-bodied NDs have it made in this sense. we have TWO communities! we have neuropunk and madpunk, and you can go on any social media platform and easily find hundreds of other NDs on there along with little communities and shit. but physically disabled people dont have it that easy. when they DO find one that isnt just about ND people, it's still full of ableism. i've seen it myself and it makes me sick

so physically disabled people decided to make their OWN community. just for them. no one else. then THATS when able-bodied NDs start getting pissy and call them ableist when they were basically doing the exact same shit before.

you can handle not being allowed in one community. theres two more you can be part of just fine

if youre an able-bodied ND who sees yourself in any of this, maybe you should stop and look at yourself. make some improvements

to the cpunk community, dont let people like this tear you down. stand your ground, push these people out. you deserve your OWN safe space and no one will take that from you

[doggirlhen]

the thing is you have to get a good grade in being an art commissioner. you cannot be a bitch when paying for art. you have to be patient and nice. i have not been perfect in my years of paying other furries for art of my funny animals but i can, with confidence, say ive gotten a good grade. artist friends of mine agree im awesome and fankly the Keys to being Awesome at being a commissioner are just like. being nice and recognizing artists arent machines. theyre people who have their own lives and are not infront of their tablet drawing for everyone 24/7. youll find them posting about some game or movie when youve been waiting three weeks for something and thats fine. youll find them having difficulty getting something exactly like how it is in your brain because, like all people, they cannot read your mind. you gotta have everything ready and upfront and be ready to answer questions. its fine to be a little nitpicky and a little "sorry im not quite sure on this pose, could you do X Y and Z" and not be an asshole about it. after a certain number of "can you do X different" you have to realize its either not going to be exactly how you want it to be or the artist is going to want to kill you with hammers. and thats fine. i think artists have every right to want to kill you with hammers.

[sensitiveheartless]

Storms always stress out my cat. He hates thunder, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, pretty much any loud noise he can hear — he either ends up hiding under the bed or wandering about and yelling mournfully until the bad weather stops.

Unless, that is, he is sandwiched between me and the back of the couch. If he is thoroughly squished, he chills out and starts purring. He purposefully puts himself in that position, too: if he’s not squished enough for his liking, he will wedge himself further against my side until he is.

He doesn’t like to be touched directly very much, and he’ll turn into a snapping turtle if I try to pet him in this state, so sometimes I roll onto my side so he can be squished between my back and the couch cushions without having to worry about being disturbed. And then whenever he’s done he can just wriggle his way out and lay by my feet instead.

Anyway this is making me imagine Chuuya using Dazai as a weighted blanket during storms and jamming himself up against Dazai’s side even when there isn’t much room, because it feels safer that way. That sometimes Chuuya needs to be completely squished by another person in order to chill out (perhaps partly because the feeling of a human pressed up beside him, warm and solid, is enough to remind his subconscious that he’s not back in N’s lab. Not suspended in liquid, not tied up and impaled and shocked. Maybe he used to sleep in piles with the other kids in the Sheep, only to lose that reassurance once he joined the Port Mafia, and he doesn’t even know why he’s become so anxious and untethered until he rediscovers that comfort later)

…Of course, despite needing that comfort, he will bite Dazai’s fingers if Dazai tries to poke him.