#peter aint having it

[k7ino]

forgot to post this here last night but,,hoffstrahm pikmin dads :3

[awhoreintheory]

Ok REALLY out there idea, but like Peter with the symbiote falling into the DC universe, but getting thrown through realities completely fucks up the symbiote (venom? Idk if I could do that to the Silly Guy™️)

So when they crash land the symbiote is like totally NOT the same, and is effectively a zombie virus/symbiote and just. Completely Fucks the DC universe, and Peter's the only one immune bc he was kinda there when that happened right

Could work great for either a Peter x dc character ship OR my beloved Dick Grayson = Richard Parker tbh

[lilmaymayy]

im sorry but theres nothin i hate more than xocs in an xreader hashtag😔😔

ITS FINE IF THERES OCS IN THE FIC BUT THEY BETTER NOT END UP W MY MAN

[bag-of-bones-and-hearts]

so a Entomologist goes to hell-

mf originally went to heaven but he was kinda off putting and everyone agreed he’d be happier in hell-being a bug who gets to study the bug people down there.

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

Spidey mutate!

Ah yes, the current brainrot au that's been keeping me up at night for the last month!

It's my first WIP for a Peter and Tony dynamic, and in the au the spider bite has a much more drastic mutation on Peter. And after mutating (and a fight with his uncle) he runs away from home. Mutant relations aren't good to say the least, and the new Accords would put him and his family at risk with the newly added registry.

he runs to upstate New York and decides to live isolated away from people, and resorts to stealing from lakeside cabins and campgrounds when he can to survive.

it's when he gets caught breaking into a cabin looking for some batteries, that he realizes he's been stealing from Iron Man the whole time.

Tony stared at the kid in front of him. He had dirt smudged on his face and caked onto the short fur on his face. He picked at the skin underneath his… claws. His skin was pale and dark bags hung beneath his eyes, and he bit his lip nervously as he glanced around the living room. Tony huffed and leaned back against the couch.  The kid ducked his head away, turning his gaze to the floor, but Tony had a feeling he was still being watched by the two eyes against his cheekbone and temple. God, that was freaky. He cleared his throat.  “Where are your parents?” “They’re dead.” The kid said bluntly. He was quick with it too, almost like he meant to throw Tony off. But he just hummed in response. “Bummer. What about a foster parent? Spider-guardian? Did you break out of a hatchery or something? Do I need to worry about 200 of your siblings hiding out in the forest too?” “What? No-” “Well where did you come from then?” “I… ran away.” “Uh huh, I figured that much, Shelob. To what, be the new Jersey Devil? What are you doing here?” Peter looked up, all of his eyes boring into Tony. If he were any other man, Tony would’ve shivered at the sight. But he’d rather go through a wormhole again than let a teenager stare him down. No matter how mutated they were. “Huh?” he responded. Tony sighed, now getting annoyed.  “Where can I return you? And where are my Crocs?”

I have A LOT of thoughts for this au! Not much written for it yet, but i would LOVE to post something for it in the future!! I've also made art and memes for it too!

Needless to say it's been living in my brain.

[orangeispice]

guys what if cissy ironwood and deb whitman got married

make peter their best man and all

[sensesdialed]

every time i see a peter edit to noah kahan on my fyp i take indescribable amounts of psychic damage

[thebluestberries]

you know its a good sign when you add 'existentialism' to your TWs in your fic :)

[marvel-slutt]

Giggling and kicking my feet at this account. Can I request a Spider-Man 1 & 3 fic (Tom and Andrew) Where we are dating Tom's Peter Parker, yandere obsessive type Peters for both of them if possible, and when Peter 3 gets taken to the Tom universe, he sees reader who he let get away in his timeline. Anyways, 3 asks 1 if he can just have her for one night, and 1 agrees as long as they do it together. Some dub/con because reader did not know about this arrangement lol. Use of web shooters to tie up reader. Lots of praise, any positions you want just some good ole unprotected p in v, possibly mentions of forced breeding kink? Like both peters talking about how they secretly thought about it once getting powers. 🙏🙏

JUST ONE NIGHT?

tom holland!peter x andrew garfield!peter x reader

SUMMARY: when Peter 3 sees his love in another universe, what will he do to make her his if only for one night

WARNINGS: NON/DUB CON, FORCED BREEDING, BONDAGE(webs), UNPROTECTED P IN V, PETER 1 & 3 TAKING TURNS IN Y/N, PRAISE, HAIRPULLING, TINY BIT OF DACRYPHILLIA IF YOU READ BETWEEN THE LINES.

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

PLOT CHANGES: we’re gonna pretend that tobey’s spiderman peacefully left so we can focus on tom and andrew’s

A/N: i aint watched spiderman in a hot minute, so this is horrendously ooc 😭 tysm for the request, hopefully i did it well enough for your liking <3

MDNI, IF YOU READ THIS THEN ITS YOUR OWN FAULT AND NOT MINE

having peter as a boyfriend was everything you could dream of. he was loyal, protective, and maybe highly a little insane. but you loved him. however when another peter got tangled in the mix, it was even worse

your peter (peter 1) was like a territorial dog, always keeping an arm on your waist or a hand on the small of your back with a murderous glare at anyone who even thought they could try it on with you. this was mainly aimed at Peter 3 who - no matter how hard he tried - couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“she’s mine y’know. you gotta back off” peter 1 growled, keeping his voice low as to avoid awakening you. his eyes were narrowed in angry possession, hands balled in fists at his sides with his nails digging into his palms to try and prevent himself from swinging

peter 3 just stared back at him, hands raised in mocking surrender “look all i’m asking is one night with her, that’s it. i lost my Y/N, surely you can understand right? spidey to spidey”

peter 1 huffed and folded his arms over his chest, his murderous gaze not letting up. “one night, and we do it together. then you leave us alone, you go back to wherever you came from.”

this conversation happened around 20 minutes ago

“love, wake up for me” peter 1 murmured gently in your ear, not pleased about having to be slightly soft around peter 3 but he was never harsh towards you.

you slowly stirred awake, eyes fluttering open as you look up to see both peters with glazed over and sleepy eyes. before you could even question what was happening, peter 1 grabbed your chin and pulled you into a kiss.

your eyes closed as you kissed him back, tongues fighting for dominance in a battle that would inevitably end in your loss. his lips perfectly wove with your own whilst one hand tangled in your hair and pulled you closer, his other hand beginning to slide your pyjama pants down your legs

meanwhile peter 3 was watching, palming his hard length to the sight of you losing yourself in the kiss. harder than rock, he roughly continued whilst letting some low groans escape from between his slightly parted lips

peter one continued to kiss you, rubbing small but fast circles on your clit through that thin barrier of cotton. he relished in how you squirmed and writhed against him, drawing your pleasure out my occasionally slowing down just to tease you.

“peter,” you croaked out to your boyfriend through moans of pleasure. “we’re not alone, wha-”

“he’s joining in” your boyfriend says firmly, cutting you off before you could finish your sentence. “we’re both having you and then he leaves” peter 1 growls, shooting a glare over to peter 3

peter 3 was now full on tugging it, viciously stroking himself with a bruising grip, whilst softly grunting. he made eye contact with peter 1 and still didn’t stop “gonna let me take my turn?” he raised an eyebrow expectantly

“her mouth. all you’re getting” peter 1 replied, sliding a hand under your waistband and continuing to rub your clit.

“her cunt and then i leave.” the other man negotiates, continuing to stroke himself to the sight of you writhing against peter 1

“fuck, fine. but make it quick. bedroom.” peter 1 huffs, carrying you fireman style towards the bedroom. your ass stuck up in the air whilst he carried you, which was a sight that peter 3 couldn’t take his eyes off no matter how hard he tried

once in the bedroom, peter 1 stepped aside and gave peter 3 a nod to signal that he can begin. not wasting any time, peter 3 shot 4 webs at you. one on each wrist and ankle. he slid a pillow under your hips and looked down at you with a grin, his dick already throbbing with excitement

“so wet already huh? you’re gonna need it” peter 3 smirks before slowly burying himself to the hilt inside of your warm cunt. he gave you a brief moment to adjust before beginning to thrust, his hips slamming against yours in a feral and possessive manner.

“take it, be a good fuckin’ girl.” peter 3 grunts, his hand reaching over and tweaking one of your nipples, allowing it to pebble under his touch whilst he toys with it

you felt his dick kissing your cervix with every thrust, feeling him pull almost out before slamming back into you. he relished in the sight of how your tits bounced when he did that, how your whole body would move if not for the web-bondage he was using. the way he nudged your g-spot with every thrust, how his fingers pinched and twisted your nipples, it was all bringing you further and further to the edge. the familiar coil was tightening in your stomach, walls clenching around his dick as if greedily pulling him in.

“atta girl, cum on my cock for me.” peter 3 cooed as he continued everything he was doing. “gonna fuck you stupid, fill you with so much cum you’ll feel it for days after. hell, might even knock ya up if you plead hard enough”

his name tumbled from your lips in desperate and needy moans, babbling incoherently for him like some sort of cheap whore. your back arched with euphoria whilst clenching around his length, letting your cum practically coat him; all while your boyfriend was watching, palming and squeezing his own hardening cock whilst waiting for peter 3 to finish.

peter 3 finished almost instantly when he saw your own release, his long-awaited cum spurting out of his dick and flooding your cunt. you felt him fill you up practically to the brim and it was one of the best feelings.

peter 3 pulled out, but before you even had a chance to recover you felt the familiar feeling of peter 1 sliding into you, instantly and brutally fucking your already abused cunt; causing you to cry and whine with pleasure.

“think i was gonna let him breed ya? no. you’re mine, remember? gonna fill you with MY seed too, let you try and work out who’s it is when you’re knocked up” peter 1 muttered lowly and possessively, his thrusting into you in the rhythm he knew you liked

“we could do this all night, princess” peter 3 said cockily as he watched you getting dominated by peter 1. “both fuck you until all you remember is our name”

and the truth was: you’d let them go all night, and oh boy would this be a long night for you

A/N: I HAD SO MANY IDEAS BUT I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO WORD IT, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH ^^

[brianquinnlvr]

𝐁𝐅𝐁, 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧

PART TWO ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

SUMMARY you've had a crush on your best friends older brother for at least three years now. but he's always been so far out of reach that the thought of the two of you together just sounded wrong to others. for starters, he's three years older than you. and while that isn't a problem now that you're 19 and hes 22, which is not illegal, it was always a problem at the beginning of your crush. another bump in the road happens to be the fact that you're a pogue, and not just any pogue, john b routledge's twin sister. it wasn't necessarily his distaste for pogues though, it was more of a reputation thing. but after a party one night, maybe he can put his reputation aside.

previous part, next part (coming soon), series masterlist

warnings: suggestive jokes, slight age gap, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed

sarah.cam ugh ur so cute

↳ yn_routledge stop playing boy i will kiss tf outta you😭😭😭

↳ jbroutledge 😒😒

↳ yn_routledge boy shut tf up

kiecarreraaa my top in the 4th slide 🤨

↳ yn_routledge whT top? 😅😅

rafecameron7 i like your shorts

↳ yn_routledge i like your wallet that payed for them🙂↕️

jaymaybank69 🔥🔥🔥

↳ yn_routledge npc

jbroutledge trigger warning next time pls

↳ yn_routledge we're twins and somehow ur still uglier! stop talking boi 😐↔️

you dragged yourself out of bed, stretching and rubbing your eyes groggily as a yawn escaped your lips. you'd started to all the boy's i've loved before when you woke up, your tv volume low. your personality didnt really match the way you adored romance. you didn't seem like the type of girl to enjoy cheesy rom coms or a good romance novel. but you loved all of it, yearning for love yourself, wondering when one day your peter kavinsky would come around.

it did become exhausting at times, being the only single one out of your friends. you were constantly 7th wheeling, and it wasn't like you were going to meet anybody on this tiny ass island where everyone knew everyone and was either literally insufferable, or only wanted one thing.

you looked around the room, spotting your overused bong and lighter that was nearly out of juice and sitting at the small desk in your room. this was an often reoccuring morning ritual for you, one of the only perks about having no parents was your dad never complaining about the smell. your mother was never even around long enough to have to witness it.

you got out your bag of weed, placing the buds in the grinder and twisting it as your eyes trained on the tv, the fan in your room blowing on you occasionally as it was on rotate.

suddenly your door flew open, making your skeleton jump out of your skin. you turned around to see a laughing jj. "dude what the fuck is wrong with you, don't just barge in my room like that." he continued laughing, sitting on the edge of your bed as his eyes moved to the weed on your desk. "no invite? this is tragic."

you rolled your eyes, packing the grinded weed into bowl piece. "i didn't even know you were here, i've literally barely opened my eyes." the lighter, now in between your fingers, burnt the plant as you sucked the smoke, clearing it quickly and passing him the glass piece. "yeah well i came here unnanounced looking for your brother. twinkies here, bro is nowhere to be found."

"probably with sarah. pretty sure they had plans on the beach today." he took his hit, passing it back to you. "wanna pull up on them?"

you shook your head, putting the lighter to the glass again. as you spoke again, the smoke flowed out of your mouth, filling the air with the foggy scent of burnt weed. "nah. its my grocery day, plus i have to clean this dirty ass house cus i lost a bet with john b."

"i can go to the grocery store with you if you want. aint got shit to do today." you shrugged. "alright. but you are not driving anywhere and i am dead serious."

"bruh thats not fair. yn, i am a god when it comes to driving high-" "jj please shut up. i'd rather surgically remove my own eardrums than hear any of your crazy high driving stories where you 'almost died' that i've heard a million times." he rolled his eyes. "whatever."

the two of you ripped the bong a few more times, before you kicked him out of your room so you could get ready. you didn't do much, just threw on a hoodie that you'd stolen from your brother and a pair of pajama shorts, your hair going into two braids.

the grocery trip was easy, and after the two of you went back to the chateu and stocked the fridge, you cleaned up quickly and ultimately decided to leave again and sneak up on sarah and john b.

you climbed out of the drivers seat of the twinkie, parked next to sarah's car which was easy to spot due to the stickers on the back window, climbing out and easily finding spotting them.

"no invite?" you shouted, making your way to your brother, your large t-shirt the only thing over your bathing suit as you walked up to him. he turned around to the sound of your voice, crossing his arms. "my apologies for wanting to spend quality time with my girlfriend."

you rolled your eyes, noticing that sarah's brother and a few of his kook friends were there. "you didn't invite me because rafe is here, actually. i'm not stupid."

"well you can't keep your mouth shut when he's around, i didn't want to deal with you being thirsty." laying your towel on the sand and sitting on it, you looked up at your brother, one eye squinted and your hand hovering just above your eyebrows to block the sun from your eyes. "i don't know if i should be offended or honored that you think i have the confidence to be as annoying about him in person as i am over messages."

john b opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything jj finally caught up, uninvitedly sitting on your towel, a bit of sand kicking its way onto you. "what are we talking about?"

you swatted at his shoulder. "you just got sand all over me, so i'm gonna leave you two and go find my perfect angel babygirl sarah." you didn't wait for a response, standing up and making your way to sarah.

"well hi! what are you doing here?" she said, abandoning her conversation with rafe who now stood there awkwardly. "jj decided to bug me so i made him go to the grocery store with me and we got bored."

"well i wanted to invite you but your brother said no." you scoffed lightheartedly. "whatever. i don't like him anyways." you peered your head around her, eyes on rafe for a moment before looking back at sarah. "didn't mention this beefcake was gonna be here." you were just far enough for him to not hear you, thankfully because after your rewatch of your favorite rom-com this morning, you were not in the mood to get subtly rejected.

"beefcake? oh my god, yn you actually make me sick." you giggled softly. "i can't help it. look at him." you said, sticking your hand out to gesture toward him. "trust me honey, i have. its not pleasent and i honestly don't know what you see but whatever floats your boat i guess."

"hater." you mumbled. "well, there is a bonfire tomorrow at the boneyard. maybe you could come and get some action or something to get you to shut up about my brother!"

you pressed your lips together, tilting your head. "no way in hell i'm coming to a party. you know me, i don't even know why you asked that." she crossed her arms. "come on, you're the only one of us that isn't going. and you could actually have fun for once in your life instead of rotting away in the chateu and smoking weed for a living. plus, rafe will be there. i know i said get over him but i'm trying to think of reasons to get you to come."

"okay first of all, i do have fun. my binge watching keeps me entertained, and i'd literally rather die than-" "socialize? yeah we know. you're like rapunzel if she willingly hid in her tower."

suddenly rafe walked over, his attention completely on sarah, not even acknowledging your existence, but still technically speaking to you once he opened his mouth. "top's having me run to the store to get some beer and shit. either of y'all want anything?"

"um... can you get me a pack of high noon? and jj's probably gonna want white claw. can you get twisted tea too? and possibly a watermelon smash buzz ball if you're feeling generous pretty please." sarah listed. you didn't add anything, knowing you'll happily drink a twisted tea or a high noon.

rafe lifted his hand, sticking his pointer finger up. "wait wait wait, slow down." he started, his head shaking back and forth. "i'm not gonna remember all of that shit, dude." sarah sighed, turning to you. "yn will remember. have her go with you, she can help you carry all the shit back too."

you widened your eyes. sarah didn't necessarily love your obsession with her brother, yet she seemed to egg it on in moments like this. "um, i'm good where i'm at thanks."

"come on. i'm gonna need help anyways, and i'd rather not go alone." you also didn't expect rafe to push you further. "um, okay, i guess." you gave sarah a look that said 'i'm gonna kill you', before walking off, trailing behind rafe.

of course you didn't mind being around rafe. if anything you loved it. but being alone with him made you nervous. you barely knew the guy, and there wasn't much to talk about between the king of the kooks and a regular old pogue.

you informed jj and john b that you were leaving, following rafe to his truck awkwardly and climbing in silently. as bold as you were at times, you felt insanely weird being with him alone. "what store are we going to?" you asked, pulling the seatbelt over your torso and strapping it in.

he began pulling backward out of his parking spot, his hand on the back of your seat as he turned around to look behind him. god he was such a slut. "that corner store near the wreck." he responded, settling back into his seat and pulling off.

the ride was silent for a moment, but not comfortable silence. the kind of silence that was so deafening that it drove you insane. so you broke the silence, noticing the aux cord sticking out from his radio. "can i play music?" you asked, not waiting for a response and grabbing the cord, plugging it into your phone.

he sighed. "not if you're gonna play some girly shit like taylor swift or something." "okay first of all, have you met me?"

he chuckled lightly as you put your playlist on shuffle, 'slut era interlude' by rolemodel playing. after a few moments, you noticed rafe mumbling along to the lyrics. your eyebrows raised, shifting your body to face toward him slightly. "you know this?"

he nodded. "toppers girlfriend listens to this guy sometimes when shes in charge of the music. its alright." "you strike me as like.. a tyler the creator kind of guy."

"don't get me wrong, i love tyler too." you laughed softly, facing forward again and attempting not to stare at him. "favorite song?" you questioned.

he thought for a second. "probably lumberjack." "no way, thats my favorite tyler song too. see, we're perfect for each other." you couldn't help but flirt with him. i mean come on, you're alone in a car with rafe cameron. who wouldn't flirt.

he rolled his eyes, but unexpectedly decided to play into it. "right. whats your ring size again?" you chuckled. "no clue, actually. i like diamonds, though."

he soon pulled into the store, climbing out of the truck. "you coming?" you didn't answer, making your way out. once you were inside, he immediately went to the alcohol. "what the fuck did sarah want again?"

"a pack of high noon, white claw, twisted tea and a watermelon buzz ball. not that hard to remember buddy." he grabbed a pack of twisted tea, tucking it under his arm. "yeah, couldn't remember all of that shit even if i recited it out loud several times before i came."

"okay so, twisted tea," he said, grabbing a pack of white claw next. "white claw.. what else?" you grabbed a pack of high noon from the other side of the aisle. "and a watermelon buzz ball." you mumbled, grabbing it and tossing it to him. he caught it with his free hand. "a'ight, lets go."

you made your way to the checkout, the cashier eyeing the both of you as he scanned the stuff. after a moment, he spoke up. "you guys together?" your eyes shot up, shaking your head. such an odd question to blatantly ask. "please. he wishes." you joked, knowing the reality was the complete opposite.

he looked at you, furrowing his eyebrows as he got his wallet out. "really? i'm not the one who-" you cut him off abruptly, not wanting your business spilled. "ookay! give the poor man your ID, i'm sure he could care less about my actions." you forced an awkward chuckle, blush creeping onto your cheeks as he sighed, handing the man his identification before swiping his card.

you guys made it back to the truck in no time. "you coming to the boneyard tomorrow.?" you shook your head immediately, lifting one of your legs to your chest and resting your chin on it. "absolutely not. i don't do parties, i have a hot date with my bong and grey's anatomy."

he grimaced. "that show is ass." you scoffed, whipping your head toward him. "excuse me rafe cameron, i will not take such disrespect towards that masterpiece."

"masterpiece? its a billion seasons of like.. nothing. should've been cancelled years ago." you let out a breath through your nose. "okay, the newer seasons are bad. but the show is good, i don't care."

"whatever you say bro." it was silent for a minute, another awkward tension filled few miles, until he pulled into the beach. "you should come to the boneyard tomorrow. it'll be fun. sarah says you never get out of the house anyway."

"oh sarah was spreading my business! cute!" you were honestly surprised that rafe of all people was the one trying to push you to go, and even making you consider it. "tempting." you said sarcastically. "but i'd rather get run over!"

you climbed out of the car, thinking about it for a minute. it couldn't be that bad, could it? i mean, rafe will be there. except, you didn't really know how to talk to him. its not like he ever flirted back with you anyways, at this point it was only a humerous bit you did because you knew it aggravated your friends.

but it could be nice to socialize. and as you walked back, a bag in each hand, you realized it might actually be fun

v speaks: made yall wait almost a month and then gave u an awful little bunch of words i apologize💔 ive been so busy and then i had the flu for a week, and my writers block was SOOO bad i promise i'll be better in the next part i put this off for so long i was trying to get it over with guys😭 alsooo i will be using sophia birlems photos as y/n but, you can imagine her however you please!

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @dreamybabbyy @pogueprincesa @hypnotizedstarkey

[moodymisty]

You know what I think? Since most of the primachs are emotionally constipated along with their legions except Vulkan. I headcanon that gestures ( like hugs or Emperor forbid kissing(on the cheek) that might be acceptable amongst friends. Your primach lover/husband probably won't like or think every male other primachs will try to take u away. If it's a baseline human then depending on the primarch they're getting unalived. Or Peter Turbo will most likely throwing them of a balcony. Sanguinius on the other hand I see him being more lenient... on the surface. The angel will probably be a little pissed off.

Bobby G I see him nipping it in the bud and Konrad will probably just eat them or send em to the next chew toy of the Night lords.

I think depending on the legion they'll be offended for the genefather if a human tried to flirt with their Legion Mother. Plus it aint like they're gonna get another one. Not in this lifetime at least. ex Blood Angel's and Salmanders

The night lords would deal with the homewrecker immediately to prevent Konrad from going off the deep end and repeat the flesh statue incident

Lorgar would probably see it as sacrilegious for quote 'Attempting to separate the bond of him and his love, his soul mate, and goddess. You must perish for that.'

Since most of the legion and primarchs see humans as expendable except the Salmanders. I wonder how it'll go over if reader was a human from Terra whose heart goes out for the common man. Or reader tries to save her friend by pleading for her primarch to forgive the 'transgression'

Ps. I see that afterwards reader won't have many friends at least outside of the space marines. Or any friends she does have will distant themselves to avoid triggering a jealous Primarch

Sorry this is so long. Just wanted to know your thoughts

I agree with this a lot. It's easy to see how they would misinterpret friendly gestures, or allow love to turn into possession. And as for the legion, they are vehemently programmed to protect their primarch and in their mind their primarch's beloved eventually in a way becomes part of them, and is wrapped in that vehement protection, but being a baseline it's ever worse. People just trying to talk to her and show her respect get threatened until she has no one but her primarch and his men.

also yeah... sorry i vomited some writing here real quick.

-------------------

“Please, calm down!”

The Space wolf lieutenant largely ignores your plea, standing tall and intimidating the man who sits at the left end of the table. The other astartes of your retinue are similarly on guard, both in defense of their lieutenant. You are frozen in your seat thanks to a ceramite gauntlet holding you down, the marine attempting to push his body between you and their new target.

“Our Wolf Mother is betrothed to Primarch Russ. And you, some measly baseline, attempt to steal her?”

The man glances to you briefly as you try to argue on his behalf, standing up.

“Lieutenant! He was only being polite, stop this!”

Perhaps the man’s choice in words was a bit tackless, but he had clearly meant not much by it, however the Wolves take even the slightest thing so incredibly seriously.

"You are a beautiful and smart woman," His hand reached forward to gently touch yours over top of the papers you have stacked. "If only I had gotten to you before the Space Wolves did!"

Normally your men listen to you well; If Russ issues orders your husband will quite obviously rank above you, but they still take your opinion into a surprising amount of account. But for some reason during these past few months, as they've begun to call you Wolf Mother, they have shown their teeth and threatened anyone who so much as comes within grabbing distance of you.

"This is ridiculous, quit this!"

You look to the man who has lost all blood in his face, under the glare of a massive Space Wolf with braids decorating his hair. "I am so sorry, there's been a horrible misunderstanding and I-" You choke on your words as the instigating Space Wolf turns to you.

"There has been no misunderstanding, he-" You open your mouth and quickly speak, cutting him off. "No, there has been! The man was using hyperbole, he didn't actually mean what he said!"

The wolf looks down at you, and you see anger in his face slowly simmer down. You silently thank the Emperor and breath a sigh, putting your head in your hands.

This behavior keeps getting worse; You feel like you're stuck in a vice trap. So many people fallen from your life because they fear the snap of a Space Wolf's teeth, or worse, their Primarch's. You know Russ is instigating this behavior, encouraging it, is part of it, keeping you feeling so suffocated. You're so tired, you don't understand why they're acting like this.

Your head in your hands you let out a shaky breath, pressing down on the corners of your eyes so water doesn't leak from them. This is all too much. As you lean back up, the lieutenant sees the redness in your eyes and while stoic, is still noticeably concerned that you're about to cry.

"Wolf Mother… Are you well?" You take a deep breath and clear your throat.

"I'm fine. We should go." When you go to get up again, the gauntlet on your shoulder gives way and lets you rise up. You dip your head at the man who is starting to have color return to his face, now that he no longer is being threatened.

"I am so sorry, on behalf of everything. We'll be taking our leave."

You move to walk away, and your retinue follows close behind; Like a shadow.

[exhaslo]

Would you ever consider doing anything for Miguel/Fem!Deadpool reader?

One who's honestly just kind of tease which makes it impossible for Miguel to figure out *why* he hates her flirting with other spidermen so much until the penny hits.

Bonus points for recklessness and brat energy from DP we all know they aint got no self control. Needs Miguel to definitely put her in her place.

Ohhhh, I have seen so much fan art of just regular Deadpool being a menace to Miguel, Dr. Strange and the TVA. It gets me excited to see the new movie coming out!

But yea, let's give into the chaos!

Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, bondage, angry sex?, p in v, language

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For fuck's sake, why is there so many anomaly's popping up in different universes?" Miguel barked, tapping against his screens as he sent numerous Spiderman and women out to the field.

"Actually, based on the energy signatures, it seems to be the same anomaly."

"Impossible, one person jumping around all of these?" Miguel cussed lowly, trying to identify the new anomaly.

This new frustration was giving Miguel a reason to want to drink tonight. The speed he was working to try and understand this problem was honestly amazing. This was probably the fastest he has ever worked.

"Wow! No wonder why all of the Spiders I met say great things about you!" You gasped.

"Que?! (What)" Miguel hissed, seeing both a new intruder alert and anomaly alert appear at the same time, "Who-"

"Haiiiiiii! Pleasure to meet you, sexy ass, my name is (Y/N), I'm like the hottest version of me there is-"

"I. Don't. Care." Miguel hissed, jumping down from his platform and approaching you, "This attire...fuck-"

"Yeeeeep! I'mma Deadpool!" You chirped.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose before taking long, deep breathes. Once he regained a portion of his composure, he proceeded to grab you by the collar and drag you to the 'Go Home' Machine.

At least one of his problems were solved today. Hopefully you will stay in your dimension. Trying to ignore your chatter, Miguel couldn't help but notice some of the other Spiders avoiding eye contact. This annoyed Miguel. How many of them ran into you before saying anything?

"Hm? Oh like half of them." You replied. Miguel groaned loudly,

"Wasn't even a thought bubble," He muttered under his breathe before arriving in the room, "I don't want to see you here again. Stay in your world."

"Awe, but isn't fun! Not when I found such a squeezable ass-"

"Send. Her. Home!" Miguel spat.

It only took a second, but you were sent home immediately. Miguel took another deep breathe before returning to his office to hopefully relax.

----------

"Hehe, he gets so mad when he finds me wandering around this place. It totally isn't my fault that all of you guys think of taking a break here and I just-hop into those thoughts and end up here!" You huffed, talking to Peter B. Parker and Jessica.

"Yeah, yeah, we still don't understand the whole hopping into thought bubbles thing you say you do. It's so confusing." Peter huffed.

"Oh, it's pretty easy. I'd like to describe it as a comic book, but you guys won't understaaaaand, the readers will though!"

"Readers?" Jessica groaned softly. You just laughed,

"Oh yeah! The readers reading this now! So like, normally it's a comic I hop around or thought bubbles or I just rip through the screen, but this time...It's the readers who bring me here!"

"I think I'm more confused than when I started," Peter whined and turned to Jessica who tossed you into the 'Go Home' machine, "Look, just...don't come back before Miguel gets bad again."

"Hpmh! I just said it isn't my fault I keep coming back!" You whined loudly, "The readers and writer keeps bringing me here! I am meant to share my wisdom to Miguel!"

"Why do I hear that Deadpool's voice?" Miguel grumbled, holding a cup of coffee as he walked by, "Again?"

"See! He neeeeeeds me! That has to be why the writer keeps putting me here!"

"What the hell is she babbling about now?"

"Please, don't ask. I don't think my brain can handle anymore." Peter whimpered. Jessica waved him aside,

"She's going home now, Miguel."

Just as the machine turned on, you immediately got sent home. Miguel let out a sigh of relief and right when he was going to drink his coffee, you appeared behind him.

"Fuck!" Miguel yelled as he noticed you. You just casually waved,

"Believe in the spirits beyond."

"I want her gone!"

"Miguel, we've tried so many times. I think...we just need to accept her appearing here." Jessica whispered. You grabbed Miguel's cup, taking a sip,

"Oof, so bitter. So now that I can stay here under the writer decides to let me go home, wanna show me around, big boy?"

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he followed you, mainly just wanting his coffee back.

------------

It has been a few weeks since you've stayed at the-

"Whoa, whoa. Really writer? You gonna make here stay here for weeks without going home?" You huffed.

Okay, sorry, um, it has been a few weeks since you started to willingly appear at the Spider Society.

"Thank you!"

....

Uh, anyway, Miguel has finally started to tolerate you to a certain degree. You still couldn't understand why you kept appearing there, but you were making the most of it. Miguel on the other hand, was starting to find something new to irritate him.

"It's just so fascinating how different each of you are~ Can I touch those wonderful large boobs of yours?" You whispered in awe towards a Spiderman. Yes a Spiderman.

"They're not boobs."

"It's okay to not want to admit your flaws. I buried mine with my neighbor." You whispered, slowly reaching out to the boob.

"Enough." Miguel hissed, grabbing the back of your collar and dragging you to his office.

"Hey! I was about to grab something that could have been the most magically experience of my life!"

Miguel chose to ignore you, growing annoyed at your bratty and quite ignorant behavior. Honestly, he was more annoyed by the amount of flirting you've been doing with the other Spiders. You just didn't know when to stop.

"I can't help it. A natural icon I am," You chuckled and grabbed Miguel's ass, "But this...is a multiverse icon."

Miguel's eyes lit up as he locked his door and tossed you on his platform. In an instant, he webbed you in place, making sure that you couldn't move to try to free yourself.

"Ohhhh~ This is kinky~" You cooed, rolling around like a worm. Miguel pinned you to the floor, his blood red eyes piercing into yours,

"Do you know how frustrated you make me?"

"So...you aren't happy to see me?" You grinned, your knee poking at his growing erection, "I made you horny!"

"Silence," Miguel covered your mouth, "Shit, you're so annoying. No one has been able to put you in your place. Do I need to be the one to do that?" He said with a huff.

You licked his hand in response, "Awe, not sure if a fucking will stop me, but you are so willing to try~" You hummed.

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he captured your lips in a kiss, wanting to shut you up. You couldn't help yourself and smirked, enjoying this moment. Parting your lips, you hummed as Miguel forced his tongue into your mouth, his hands roaming your body.

"Mhm~ Gim....sq..." You tried to say. Miguel broke the kiss, glaring towards your,

"What?" He grumbled, biting and sucking against your neck. You chuckled as his hands reached your breasts,

"Give em a squeeze~ You know you wanna~"

"Do I have to shut your mouth again?" Miguel grumbled, kissing you again.

You tried your best to behave, you truly did. You couldn't help but try to grind against his hips, press your chest to his, or even kiss his neck. Miguel was ready to web your mouth, at least until he started to rub your-

"Whoa, whoa, writer, now I don't mind a good sex scene, but lemme have some privacy here!" You huffed.

Uh, I kind of wrote smut in the warning...so I'm giving the readers what they want, a sex scene.

"Well, I want this man to myself right now! You write other smuts! Let them read those!"

But they wanted this...I can't just-

"Consent!" You huffed, literally spreading your legs towards a feral Miguel who had you pinned, "This is different! I'm totally into this freaky shit!"

"Who are you talking too?" Miguel grumbled, ripping your suit. You shushed towards him,

"The writer! Wait juuuuust a second before shoving that monster of a cock inside me!"

I need to give them a sex scene here. You're already helping me write it.

"No, no! You are trying to write it. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. So be a good writer and juuuuuuuust-"

---------

"Thank you~"

What just happened?

"Oh, I totally skipped the part where Miguel fucked me so good that I actually did shut up. Hell, I think I still feel weak in the knees. Who would have known the stamina and strength that man had. Fucking hot, can't wait to-"

You skipped my story?! I'm the writer here!

"Yeaaaaaah, but like, you can always write more smut. Let me just enjoy that moment to me~. I'm sure you understand~" You cooed.

...

"Hehe, go on. End the story. I'm sure you have other smut to write."

I just- Whatever.

Let's just say, you made yourself a permanent member of the Spider Society. You made sure to annoy Miguel just enough so that he could keep teaching you a lesson. Hopefully, we'll get to see one of those lessons one of these days.

"Maybe~ If I decide to show the goods."

Freaking Deadpools.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha, hope you enjoyed! I always loved it when Deadpool would just talk to the narrator or hop comic pages sometimes. It was great.

@tojishugetiddies

[pumpkinsy0]

ive been hit w the seasonal sick i think. yall got any sick hcs?? cant remember if someone already asked this

idk if u mean just for papercut or like in general so ur just gettin both!!!mostly papercut tho

•when ur sick in the curtis house, that sickness doesnt go away till EVERYONE ELSE gets sick, its like a torch that only gets passed around when the last person gets it

•darry has a “sick shirt” just a shirt he always wears when he sick bc he doesnt gaf about it at all

•if either pony or curly is sick but the other isnt and they RLLLYYYY dont wanna go somewhere, they get the other to get them sick as a way to get out of it, yes this would go on into adult hood, they have no shame

•tim is lowkey like a bother who says “if ur sick enough to not ____ u cant ____” but to b fair, curly and angela do overplay their sickness to get out of things

•pony and curly cannootttt make out while sick, they can barely just kiss, they cant breath properly and turn into mouth breathers when sick

•everytime i think about tim getting sick, i think of that one cutaway gag from family guy where peters like “i CANNOT get sick rn” and yea, thats pretty accurate for him

•if curly has a fever hes not passing up on the opportunity to tell pony “its bc hes so hot”, mind u ponys looking at the thermometer and his fever is at 103 fahrenheit, this is NOT the time to say this

•two it was that kid in elementary/kindergarten who just threw up for literally no reason, no reason at all just threw up

•speaking of, as a kid sometimes johnny puked when he was too nervous and ppl called him a squid for it, some of the gang did it but they stopped

•curlys never thrown up before, like ever, he has a strong ass stomach

•pony and curly both make shit tea, they will never finish the others tea they made, but in a way its cute bc they try making it the way their brothers taught em how to make it, they just add too much of one ingredient and argue about which was is better

•curly gets like super cranky when hes hungry, and once he decided to cook meat, but he aint cook it all the way and pony trieedddd telling him and helping but curly got mad at him. curly ate what he made and got food poisoning, i want u to just imagine the amount of told u so’s pony said the next day

•when angelas sick, u could not get her to leave her room, she locks herself in there till shes better

•pony and curly have gotten multiple concussions from rumbles and once someone left a concussed pony and curly in the same room cause “nothing would happen” and they were right, but also got into a lotttt of trouble

•pony and curly both being sick together would tire each other out, they r bedridden and cant do much but talk and lord knows theyre too good at that, so they bicker, pass out, bicker, pass out, etc etc

[juniebugs]

peter parker would not be a chemical engineer!!

actually-- maybe he would be. i'm not completely against it and i would never yuck someone's harmless headcanon shaped yum

but please please please know what a chemical engineer does before you headcanon it. for my soul. as a chem eng student with a special interest only God could stop. lol what even is an engineer? you may be asking yourself. fair question. its one of those professions that is so broad its a bit hard to narrow down.

like, okay, you can imagine an office worker as... a person who works in an office. but what are their daily tasks? well it depends on their position, their company, how close they are to retirement, etc. engineering is kinda similar. the office would be problem solving with math, science, and a whole-lotta of trial and error. the daily tasks would change though. and a large part is based on the specific discipline.

okay, but whats a discipline (aka a specialization)?

what an inquisitive mind we have here. if you have ever heard of a mechanical engineer you can probably infer that their daily tasks would be much different to uhhh like a computer engineer. maybe some overlap-- sure, sometimes-- but generally distinct.

chemical engineering is a discipline! cool cool cool... so what does a chemical engineer do? not actually a lot of chemistry

WHAT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE ITS IN THE FUCKING NAME

relax, pwincess. chemical engineers use chemistry in their work, but they just as often use physics and math (and even biology! which i have tons of fun with). chemical engineers can do a ton. so its a bit hard to narrow down. for this reason, i really can't claim our resident spidey wouldn't enjoy chemeng. i just picture him as mechanical and biomedical.

if you love chemeng so much though (me too!) and want to keep using it, here are some example jobs:

process engineer (could be oil, could be biotech, could be anything. essentially this is the managing of manufacturing or some kind of process control. checks flow of products in and out, their quality, and the maintenance of the machinery).

research & development (so, so broad. could be research in how a new heart pump could work-- thats flow in and out baybeee. it could be new renewable energy for batteries. it could be changing how fans are made. because why not).

optimization (oooo so sexy. wanna make something cheaper / easier / faster without comprimising it's quality. you might think its impossible, but chemical engineers dream big.)

and literally so many other things.

because

OKAY, maybe peter parker could be a chemical engineer

chemical engineering is a pretty tough degree, so when employers see it they also see : can do math, can do deadlines, can do problem-solving. it's pretty much only the people skills they can't confirm LOL so live your truth, write your fanfiction, draw the most unhinged fanart, i'll be reblogging all that shit. but now you're doing it with a better understanding of chemeng. and aint that something.

[dayshift-confessions]

(To the davesport is toxic anon, Respectfully)

That was A LOT!

I'll quote specific things from that essay to respond to, btw thank you I can finally go over the things that most people ignore in the story [:

So get ready cause it might get longer than a chapter of dearly detested!

"Just because Dave isn't aware of how awfulhe's being to Jack doesn't mean he still isn't being that way."

Never said he isn't being that way, breaking into someone's property isn't morally good! Nor is killing kids!

if it were actual people with common sense, yeah that'd be toxic.

But does an orange man who kill kids just beacuse a random SCP with a new york accent told him that it'd get him out of the contract he signed have any common sense?

"Let's start with the good endings. The ones where Jack ceases to do anything harmful. Dave continuously pops up, preys on his insecurities 'You're only about as human as a hammer or a wrench, sportsy, and that's what I and phoney see you as.'"

And why wouldn't he..???

seeing the context, Jack works against him.

Like a brick wall, slowing him down from revenging the man he cares about the most.

Not to mention, he is actually furious against Jack there.

Just look at his diary (company computer). In the first day, he is all excited to continue his partnership with his new fella, but when we refuse? He is furious. He feels betrayed.

So how can we tell if they'd be toxic with each other in a relationship by comparing a single line from a route where they're literally enemies. Also, in that same route, Jack still happily says hi to Dave(trap).

Peter literally had to remind him not to befriend the enemy😭🙏

Cause again, Jack doesn't care all that much.

"He still follows Jack from location to location."

That's actually the contrary.. Dave is always seen to be there before we get the job. WE find him, not the other way around.

And in the other locations Jack worked at, Dave was never stated to be there.

"Dave is horribly attached to someone he sees as a tool. This is EXTREMELY unhealthy for both him AND especially Jack."

Ok, and that's the point where things start getting into a mess.

Dave. Never. Saw Jack. As a tool.

Doggo stated that himself: Dave saw Jack as a replacement for Henry. and you'll see how everything goes into a full circle when we arrive at your final point.

But first off, let's start with the marrion ending flashback.

Dave immediately starts comparing every part of Jack to Henry's.

The scars. The eyes. The soulless grin.

He says he is perfect.

If Jack represents Henry to Dave, he is everything but a tool in his mind.

But something to note, im talking about dsaf 1 dave, Jack is basically a Henry's lookalike stranger to him.

Now you would wonder why he abandoned us every time we failed at something.. well, it's simply because he has based standards for Henry, and we all know what they are. So If we aint worthy of doing everything right like henry does,, we are out of his legacy. (Again, dsaf 1.)

But by dsaf 2, he spends more time with old sport and starts appreciating Jack for who he is, not who he looks like.

The real noticeable shift is when we play as peter in dsaf 2, and Dave says "the fucker tried to do a flip in a springlock suit! I love that bastard."

First time we see him actually appreciating Jack's character, he is starting to know him, finds him FUNNY, something that Henry isn't.

But dont expect him to like us the first time he sees us step into that saferoom and sniff some coke with him in vegas

"Yes, this is a product of what Henry did to him, but he still does it. He still preys on Jack, because he's perceptive enough to notice his weaknesses and use them to gain what he wants."

How's Dave a mastermind using someone's insecurities in his advantage when he is just bold with every single aspect of himself. Literally telling a stranger within the 4 seconds of meeting him, he killed tons of toddlers.

He doesn't manipulate Jack in any way since we can literally get out of his plan whenever we want to, and the times when he kills us afterward are almost all by accident. (In Dsaf 1 AND in dsaf 2)

Our ONLY positive responses to him telling us his entire plan are:

"Sure, why the heck not?"

OR

"Anything to get away from this job."

"And Jack. Jack 'seems' to be okay with it, but he's notorious for pushing down his feelings. He's not a "human, after all, so why should he care what happens to him? This mindset is exactly why Dave is able to get him to do anything in the first place."

That's also one of the main problems

Most things go into the headcanon section, and things that weren't directly confirmed in game, nor by doggo.

And it's totally ok, but from an official game perspective, the only confirmed aspect here is

the fact that Jack has a hard time expressing his feelings, doggo confirmed it on his tumblr responding to an ask basically asking who Jack generally is as a person:

"Firstly, Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says "I love you" and Jack responds with deflecting humour. or outright scorn When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can't outright, only getting out: "Why is this so hard?" and "I hope you can find peace with what you've done." Which Dave understood the meaning of.(Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing "I love you" and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"

So yes, that part is canon, but the rest? Who tells you he only 'SEEMS' ok with it.

But, if you prefer it like that, thats totally fine.

Everyone is allowed to like it how they want, that's what a fandom's about <:

"Dave went into him and Jack's partnership with the intention to use, abuse, then throw him out. Even in the bad ending of DSAF 1, it ends up with Jack thrown out on the side of the road for "hoarding coke." Dave's plans changed, of course, but his methods of coercion never changed"

Dave will NEVER throw you out if you work with him according to plan.

And about the ditching him in vegas part, that was in dsaf 1, and again, Jack is still a stranger to him at that point. Plus it isnt like he doomed Jack for going back home without alerting him? Jack can take the bus back to Colorado on himself.

And they fought over coke. Can you imagine how high the both of them were?

Dave was just mad, so he left without him!

"Fun thing, did you know that Dave was lying in the first game when he said that he needed Jack to get him out of Freddy's?"

Indeed, i did know! But i alas i also know that that was old info from doggo's deleted tumblr account, and thus, nuffin in it should be taken as accurate.

Also, because it absolutely makes no sense since the phone guys themselves say that the employees who tried scaping freddy's were found and killed! Dead in the ben outside freddy's! Charming

And also assuming Dave actually lied, that would throw the entire concept of the red contract out of the window.

Y'know the contract Steven warns about, because since he signed it he wasn't allowed to see his nonexistent family for the past 10 years or smth!

So yeah, Dave was definitely not lying, for all these in-game reasons.

"And before you say..."It's mutually toxic, what about the end of bad route DSAF 3???!!" Yeah okay that still isn't a mutually toxic relationship. Jack was coerced into a rigged springlock suit that Davetrap KNEW would end up with Jack getting impaled, all because Davetrap wanted to make himself feel better about his own physical state."

First off i have no idea what you were talking about in the first part, cause i dont think its at all mutually toxic in dsaf 3, Davetrap is just a whole other story because he ISNT stable at that point, and Jack doesn't change all that much other than growing in maturity.

But we are not talking about THIS right now, we are gonna talk about the full circle thing I referenced earlier.

Davetrap, NEVER springlocked Jack because he wanted to feel better about himself. (In fact, at that time, he left better than ever in it. It was the first thing Henry built for him, a GOLDEN RABBIT according to doggo's dsaftales: "nothing", Da golden rabbit was like a GIFT for Dave. So he felt like he was GIFTING this to Jack at best, and he literally refers to it as a gift too)

Davetrap still sees Jack as Henry.

Davetrap's WHOLE character is about the part that got the most fucked up by henry, the part that can't let go.

The part that still sees Jack as Henry's vessel.

Notice in which suit Dave springlocks Jack.

It's Henry's. Henry's suit.

And that's when everything goes into a full circle.

For Davetrap, at that instant its all coming together.

Him and Henry, reaching vegas, reliving the golden days, filling the empty hole inside of him.

But all that ends up being in vain.

That's when we get the plot twist that Dave can't actually feel anything bla bla bla lobotomy bla bla bla realizes all of Henry's bullshit bla bla bla yknow the slack

Oh and Flipside Dave, in doggo's words, is as Dave when he was a child, aka no lobotomy, just lies fed to him, thats why he turns against Herny so easily.

Btw guys, if you are in lack of lore or anything, just go on doggo's tumblr, search anything Dave, davetrap, Henry related and boom, Doggo spills the lore for you! (You gotta scroll down a hundred posts though.)

Oh also about the "I don't want you to take that kind of relationship as an example"

Trust me, I won't, I'm aroace and do not plan on killing toddlers any time soon!

But again, I see people that just find it more interesting to interpret them as toxic, and I totally agree, I FREAKIN LOVE TOXIC YAOI!

This whole thing was just to settle my point because it seems I didn't expend my yapping well enough in my last confession. BUBYE!

:o

[canisbrutus]

chugs a pint of beer and slings the can against his forehead (tonk)

Constantinos Brakus HCs 🐂

The Basics:

obviously his mental health is in the gutter.

on his own he's just sort of a nuisance, spitting venom and trying to keep to himself. save for the times he decides to swipe something from somebody.

nothing special in the eyes of anyone. just plain dog food.

his priorities are arguably much simpler than most of the warring students' at bullworth. the main one being Food and the other just being going thru the motions of the day.

but aint nobody at that School normal, even if they aint in any of the cliques acting out gang wars.

Expanded Lores:

he thinks nobody really has his back. and for the most part, he's right. but there is one exception to this.

that being his Auntie: the nasty piece of work known as Edna.

having an iron stomach, he's probably the only kid that doesnt get sick off her cooking, after all he was subjected to it all his life.

it still doesnt taste great even if he does help himself to seconds.

but she doesnt mind lending a waxy ear to his plights. at all.

oftentimes he's asked her to feed some of his bullies especially foul things. homemade cottage cheese and the like.

anyway aside from her slop his diet consists mostly of red bull (hah), corn chips, and that canned spray cheese.

he can and will pound 3 energy drinks back to back to get through the day. or night. or whatever he wants to zone out of.

his sleep schedule is absolutely fucked up.

for one he has like 3 different bullies' homework to do so he doesnt get his teeth kicked in. for another the quiet of the night is far less grating on the mind than the daily struggle.

but when you're up late the days tend to blur together. he is horribly timeblind. never knows what day it is.

due dates breeze by him. as such he doesnt always get people's work done on time. the cycle of abuse continues.

he also loses track of other things. such as his own hygiene. tragically. but he makes an effort nonetheless.

genetics have blessed him with both Coarse body hair and semi Potent body odor. but he still tries to keep it under wraps.

he really doesnt need anyone calling him a monkey on top of everything else.

bullworth as a province doesnt care about the mentally fucked.

he can arguably be Many things, the most obvious being depressed, but the one thing he is for sure is Undiagnosed.

its not that his parents dont care about him. he's very well loved at home.

but his father is part of the coast guard and typically not around, while his mother has a rather unhealthy attachment to wine. so they dont give him as much attention as he may need.

speaking of his mother. oh boy.

you know what they say about military wives. they get lonely.

she's been having an affair with none other than ms peters, the music teacher, since constantinos was around 10 years old.

they had met at a flea market; his mom likes to make trash collage art from seashells and corks and whatnot, and ms peters likes to support local artists.

damn hippies am i right?

he's less ashamed of them being dykes and more put off by his mom just being a cheat.

music class has especially gotten uncomfortable for him.

speaking of, he primarily plays the clarinet, but he was also slotted to be the poor sod playing for the school's nutcracker showing.

which as we know jimmy had to fill in for, on account of him either sleeping through it or outright deciding not to humiliate himself further onstage.

moving on this boy absolutely hates everyone. himself included.

being in the mascot though? its great. because hes Not himself.

he'd be happier if he got his own fursuit. but he was banned from the local convention center on account of him stealing a few hundred dollars worth of things.

so the mascot costume, and all its drawbacks, will have to do.

even if hes more of a jackass donkeyboy lololol.

yeah his kelptomania has caused him a lot of pain

closed many doors for him. hes pissed off most of the cliques with his stickyfingered ways.

most of his stolen loot gets shoved under his bed, but hes not adverse to chucking things in a donation bin somewhere either.

whoops that got a bit long. anyway. inbox is still open.

[hc masterpost link]