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stuckyslut8 · 6 months ago

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THE WICKED WITCH .

pairing : orc!ari levinson x witch reader. King steve rogers x witch reader .(medieval au)

Summary :years after being betrayed by your lover steve, you seek the forest orc's help to give you an heir.

Warning: 18+ .angst.smut. breeding kink(just ari pounding you with his monstrous cock) .monsterfucking.period typical sexism. Fluff.

Part 2

There are not a lot of people in this town that cared for you, most detested you for your fate. you didn't mind them, what else was left for you to do anyway, apart from your apothecary business.

Still there are some who have grown fond of you, like the old lady who owns the jewelry store,sally ,and pete the baker, the town's drunk but wise man seth, with whom you've found comfort in many lonely nights , he was a gentle, tender lover ,he was one of a kind truly.

But you needed more than that, more than desperate affairs with the townfolks,more than broken promises from a man who you wish to not speak of and he rather not of you.

"It's only for your safety dove" ,he insisted, "they would kill you if they found out, but i will sort it out, i will marry you one day and make you mine in front of the whole kingdom i promise." But the day never came.

"All men are the same y/n, a prince is no different, or a king as they call him now." Sally said as she heard your misery,which was not a huge secret anyway ,there were always rumours about prince steven rogers getting involved with the evil witch, just to sow his wild oats some say , others say she enchanted him, but only you both know the truth and neither of you were going to speak of it now.

Steven was fine, he was betrothed to princess Margaret of the neighbouring kingdom as soon as his mother found out about the affair, and just like that he was gone , away to the kingdom of carter ,and when he returned he was no longer the steve you knew, he was a married man , then soon his father died and he became the new king. Not that any of that mattered now.

Now you were all alone ,a spinster, a wicked one ,as they say. So in this world full of hatred you wanted something to love, something to call your own ,which is why you had embarked om this journey now.

A rather dangerous one , "be careful y/n orcs are wild creatures, dangerous beasts ."

You thanked sally for her concern and led on with your journey.

Just as you entered the unexplored territory of the mystical forest, you saw it, a giant cottage protected by magical shields, of course you were able to break through it easily, you hoped you don't upset the orc so easily. But oh boy you were wrong, as you moved forward you were yanked back by a large arm to your neck and pinned against a tree. You came face to face with probably the most gorgeous mythical creature ever created, with his long locks, hairy chest, chiseled abs and thick arms, he was only covered by a cloth wrapped around his lower body .

"What are you doing here little witch?" His grip on your neck tightened ,you immediately used your powers to get him off of you. He stepped back picking up the knife that was hidden under his cloth.

"Stop, I'm not here to hurt you." You tried to calm him.

"Then what are you doing here, how did you break my barrier." He questioned you angrily.

"Oh please I'm the wicked witch of the west, this is beneath me." Your words only seem to agitate him more. So you switched your tone. "Anyway I'm only here to ask for your help. " i even brought you offerings" you laid out your bag which was full of things orcs liked.

he looked at it,expression remaining the same, "help? What help could a witch possibly want from an orc?" He realized what you wanted as he completed the sentence, it could only be one thing.

"I uh want you to-"

"You want me to breed you." He said in his deep voice which made slick pool in your core.

"Well if you put it plainly then yes." You said, currently ogling his form more than ever.

"Or Would you like to call it love making,like the humans do?." You noticed the shift in his tone now.

You stepped forward,making the first move boldly as you captured his lips in a fiery kiss, you moaned into it as his thick orc tongue explored your mouth.

"You can call it whatever you want as long as you fuck me with your big orc cock." You said out of breath from the kiss. This made him laugh out loud. "You do have a dirty mouth on you little witch, i like it." He said as he cupped your breast through your thin barely there linen dress you wore on purpose.

"I will breed you." He said at once. ",but under one condition. " you were no longer paying attention to his words as his fingers explored your body. "You will have to live with me "

"What? Here?" You asked looking around.

"Yes, where else?"

"What about my home?"

"Where do you live?"

"In the town nearby, brookenhaim." Ari huffed in response, "with humans? ,i thought they didn't like your kind." He said.

"They uh..we get along fine, i own an apothecary so uh yes......i live there, i can't just leave it all behind and come here and live with you in the middle of nowhere."

"Where's your coven? Or any family?" You went silent for a moment not knowing what to say ,you didn't come here to be questioned like this ,you came here to fuck.

"Where's yours?" You were met with the same silence.

"Look we dont have to do it this way mister.."

"Ari..ari levinson." You gave him your name in return.

"Right..ari " you poked a finger to his chest, as he looked at you mockingly, for your desperate attempts to intimidate him. "We're not getting married for fucks sake,so don't think much about my predicament, i just want a quick fuck ,get knocked up and leave." He smirked again at your words."what?"

"I didn't know witches were so uncivilized, and for one living with humans, you sound far from it."

"Uncivilized? You're a fucking orc ,living in the middle of nowhere, don't talk to me about being civil." You were furious now, ari could sense it,so he tried to soothe you.

"Alright, alright, i didn't mean to judge little witch, you can do whatever you want, but listen a mating period is very important for orcs, so atleast until you get pregnant i want you to be with me and that would also be convenient for breeding you i hope."

You thought about it for a moment, "alright, i dont think it'll take too long for me to get pregnant anyway, that is if you do a good enough job." You were back in your seductive mood now.

"Oh you worry about yourself little witch." He said giving you his signature smile and placing a kiss to he back of your palm.

You went back to town immediately, closed your apothecary ,took your precious belongings which was not much by the way, and your necessities for your stay with the orc and returned to his cottage. You looked forwards to saying goodbye to sally and pete , but were disappointed when you learnt that they were at the town festival dancing the night away, one which you were not a part of anyway, and would mostly be greeted by frowns, so you never bothered going again.

So here you were, alone in ari's cottage, you'd offered to make dinner with your homemade pasta you brought from town, while ari was out chopping woods for the night.

Ari came back after a while,looking all sweaty and worked up , you almost dropped the pot looking at him.

He ate the dinner you made, "hmm that's really good sweetheart, haven't eaten like this in a long time." You didn't know what he means by a long time, but didn't wanna pester him with more personal questions. So you questioned him about what you came for,

"So when are you gonna fuck me orc?" You asked teasingly.

"Eager aren't we pretty girl?" You almsot blushed at the nicknames he's been giving you, you. "Go wait for me on the bed...naked."

You nodded and proceeded to do as he said , taking of your dress and your undergarments, standing on your hands and knees , presenting yourself for him like an orc mate would.

Ari barged in the door , awestruck as he looked at your form, "hmm didn't know you knew about orc mating postions, little witch." He commented as he neared you, hands gripping your hips, positioning you for his comfort.

"I came prepared orc." You said as he toyed with your clit ,other hand moving to your breasts, lips leaving a trail of wet kisses on your shoulder.

You could do nothing but moan, and try to stop your knees from wobbling. Just then his mouth reached your pussy, his thick tongue licking a long stripe , spreading your wetness everywhere. "Hmm that's the prettiest pussy ever sweetheart. " you whimpered as he pushed his tongue into your hole, "hmm the tightest too, I've only ever fucked orcs, and they could barely take me, i don't know how this tight little witch cunt is gonna take all of me pretty girl."

His words only turned you on more, "but don't worry I'll stretch you out real good and leave you begging for more." He landed a sharp smack to your ass, the pleasure of which went striaght to your core.

Ari kept his promise and stretched you out, first with his finger, and then his massive orc tongue, then added more fingers, until you cried from the pleasure begging him to let you cum, and he did eventually after edginf you on for an hour. You fell onto your stomach as you orgasmed, losing your position that the orc seemed to love so much. So he brougt you back on your hands and knees, supporting you with his arms so you stay in position.

"I was just getting started little witch, now show me how badly you wanna take my seed, show me how good you can take this cock." He pushed the tip into you slowly, letting you adjust to his size, once you got comfortable, he started pounding into you, with such brutal force you gripped the sheets as you writhed in pleasure, you could hear his grunts too and filthy words that slipped his mouth as he fucked into you. 'You're taking me so good lottle witch, that pretty cunt is gripping me so good.' 'Aagh tightest pussy I've ever had, just the way i like it.'

"Fuck ,fuck ari I'm gonna cum." You cried out as you neared your orgasm, "cum for me little witch." And you did for the fitth time that night, you could feel ari getting sloppy, he was nraring his orgasm too, but he picked up his phase again and fucked into you real good, with a lpud grunt he came in you without warning, filling you up to the brim with his warm cum.

You both laid in bed facing the ceiling, caching your breath,ari turned his head towords you ,"so it's true what they say about witches."

"What ?" You raised your eyebrows.

"You have the tightest pussies out of all the creatures in the mystical forest." He daid jokingly.

You slapped his arm, lightly too fucked out of your brains to respond to orc's comment properly. "You like tight pussies?" You aksed after a moment.

"They're the best." You huffed at his response."is that the only thing you look for in a woman?"

"Hmm only you could turn a compliment into a debate little witch....No,There's much more obviously."

"And what if she didn't have a tight cunt, what then."

"It doesn't matter ,when you accept someone as your mate, you don't care about anything else, you only care about cherishing them with all you have."

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed ,you looked around to see ari already in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Good morning little witch. " he stood there in all his glory.

"Good morning ari."

"I can't cook like you but i made something with the berries i gathered, here have a taste." He fed you his berry custard with a spoon, which you licked and hummed at the taste.

"It tastes so sweet ari." You moaned ,"but i think i need something salty to start the morning."

"I'm afraid i dont have anything salty to offer you sweetheart." He said genuinely. "This isn't the town where you can get-"

Just then you sank to your knees and pulled off ari's only clothing covering his body, "hmm i think you have plenty to offer me orc."

Ari's words died down in his throat. You took the tip of his member in your mouth, sucking it sweetly ,all the while looking at ari, you saw his pupils dilate, eye's turning dark filled with lust and pleasure.

He groaned in pleasure, as you licked a lond stripe along his cock the same way you licked the custard off the spoon. You used your hands to play with his balls, adding to his pleasure.

Ari knew he wasn't gonna last, he was thinking about you all morning, wanting to fuck you in your sleep, but he didn't wanna come of as being so desperate, he wanted to maintain his composure, so he opted to cooking instead, but here you were sucking his cock first thing in the morning ,bobbing your head up and down his member ,barley fitting in all of him in your mouth.

He came fast ,hard, spurting his ropes of white cum into your throat, which you swallowed willingly. "Hmm tastes so delicious orc..so it's true what hey say about orc's semen too huh? Tastes so good. Leaves you wanting for more." You said as you took him in your mouth one more time.

"Save some for that pretty cunt of yours little witch -oh just like that keep going." You slowed down your pace giving him kitten licks ,teasing him and having him on edge, likw he did to you last night, just then ari took control, he grabbed you by your hair and started fuckint your mouth roughly, you couldn't help but grind yourself on his leg at the same time.

He moaned your name as ge was about to come in your mouth you were ready to taste him, but he pulled out just in time to come all over your face and chest. "Hmm you look sp pretty like this little witch, painted in my cum."

You pouted, "but i wanted to taste your cum." Ari simply laughed at your pouting.

"Later little witch, let me fuck you now." He gave you his hand to lift you off your feet.

A/N : pls do reblog and let me know if you need more of this series.

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m1ssunderstanding · 9 months ago

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them.

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them.

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good.

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't.

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend.

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both.

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another.

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote.

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute. Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you.

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore.

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least.

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world.

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul.

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet.

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #ulm #understanding lennon mccartney

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gretagerwigsmuse · 1 year ago

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rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw is on a three month special detachment in the pacific and the holidays have never felt lonelier for either of you. it's just three months, it'll be fine, right?

OR you and bradley write each other 159 emails

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 11.8k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, bradley needs to remember this is a government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!) enjoy the companion playlist! rest of the series can be found here!

12/17 @ 6:19am

I miss you already and I haven’t even left the parking lot. I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)(and, yes, I looked up the name of the plane). Pete asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him, but I said no. Felt too lost. Plus, I need to get ready for work. We’re going to get dinner on Wednesday before I head up to Berkeley Thursday morning, though!

Hope you have a safe transport and settle onboard quickly. I left you something in your duffle bag (yes, it’s safe to open around other people…head out of the gutter, Bradshaw).

Love you and stay safe, x

12/18 @ 5:46pm

Just dropped off the gifts at the Junior League for Caroline’s adopt a child thing. She was completely in her element (they gave her a clipboard and a bullhorn!), though she did say we went wayyy too over the top. But little Carter asked for all that stuff! We couldn’t just not get it all for him? She also appreciated your wrapping skills, very impressed with the bows and tight corners. I met a couple of her friends there, which was nice and they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home.

I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.

All my love, x

12/19 @ 11:48am

My brother and Lauren decided to come out here for Christmas after all! My dad was so excited when he called me, but I think Mary’s a little less enthused. Feels like shit knowing we were the backup option for them. Apparently, Lauren’s mom is sick and the whole house is in disarray (not hard in that family…) so my dad is paying for them to fly in from New York tomorrow. I think it’ll be nice, we’ll almost have a full set (baring you, of course, my darling rocketman), so the house won’t be as lonely. Do you think we’ll get to talk on Christmas or Christmas Eve? You should be getting a package soon (‘twas preemptively sent!) and are under strict orders not to open it until Christmas Eve, buddy!

Going to dinner with Pete tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes. Amelia’s coming with us, but I don’t know about Penny? I hope they like the gifts we got them. I’m going to stop by your place, do a once over, and make sure the tree is ready for Pete to take, etc. before I leave on Thursday.

Love you and talk soon! x

12/20 @ 7:03am

House looked good! In my seat on the plane. If my morals were shakier, I would 1000% have taken Max up on his offer to fly me up to Berkeley. But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight. I’ll message you when I land, love you!

12/20 @ 9:04am

Just landed - easy flight. Now to find my dad in arrivals…

Love you, talk when you get the chance! x

12/23 @ 4:45am

Hey sweetheart! Back online and all settled in. I’m bunking with Payback and we actually have a pretty decent layout. He graciously offered to give me the bottom bunk, due to my ‘geriatric status.’ Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to sleep in the bunk room with the ensigns and rest of the crew. I forgot how noisy it is being on an aircraft carrier, which makes Payback’s snoring surprisingly pleasant. I’m glad he and Bob are with me. The rest of this squadron’s from Lemoore and Bob knows some of them. It’s interesting seeing him and Payback fly together, but they mesh really well.

Glad Mav is there to keep an eye on you.

Okay, I had way too much fun picking out all those presents, so I really hope Carter loves them too. And please tell me you have a picture of Caroline yelling into the bullhorn? I can truly think of nothing scarier than Caroline Calloway ordering the young women of San Diego county around like Santa’s chief elf. And speaking of gifts, I loved my pictures. The one from the Christmas party is my favorite, did Fanboy take it? I saw him running around with his Pentax. When the hell did you have time to print it? I’ve got it hanging up in my bunk so I can see it every night.

I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight? Live a little. And I think it’ll be nice having your brother and Lauren around for Christmas. How many people do you think it’ll be? I always loved seeing Christmas Eves with large families in movies and stuff, all the chaos and whatnot? But it’s just gonna be you five Christmas Day? I’ve heard rumblings that I might be first in line for a Facetime on Christmas Eve, so save some time for me too, kid. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days.

Okay, think we’re all caught up now. Talk soon and love you so much,

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 9:08am

Bubs! I read your email four times since I woke up, I can’t stop smiling. I’m glad you’re all settled in - Reuben’s snoring and ageism aside haha. How’s the food? Do you want earplugs? A sleep mask? Are earplugs allowed for sleeping? What if you need to get up right away and you can’t hear? I could send you a white noise machine? Or is there a fear of hacking with that? I should’ve done more research on this before you left. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll send it out express! Oh, I’m just so happy to hear from you. Keep me posted!

Lots of love, x

12/23 @ 8:53pm

You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 8:55pm

I’ll be there 😉 Love you, x

12/25 @ 9:56am

Bradley Bradshaw you absolute sneak! How on Earth did you pull a Christmas miracle off!?! Mary said she had no clue, so I’m extremely impressed you got my dad to keep that secret!? I was totally not expecting another present from you? The cooking lessons and apron were more than enough - to say nothing about moving in together!?! I love the bracelet so much, you have no idea. I started crying when I opened it! Mary took a video, which I’m sure she’ll send you. God, Bradley? You didn’t have to do that! It’s perfect, it’s like we’re locked together. I’m gonna wear it everyday. Please email me later if you get the chance!

(Also, Lauren looked really jealous 😉 my brother was sweating)

Love you and Merry Christmas Rocketman! x

12/25 @ 11:38am

Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x

12/25 @ 11:40am

Thank you, I love it so much and wish I could give you the biggest hug and kiss right now. I’ll have an extra slice of babka for you tonight, talk soon and Merry Christmas, Bradley! Love you x

12/27 @ 4:49am

I miss sleeping next to you. Whenever I can’t sleep, I think about the way you looked at me in the living room after our Christmas party. You looked so happy and I hate that I have to leave you for all our firsts. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day. And god, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous it makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. Always thinking about you, Bradley

12/27 @ 8:38am

I miss sleeping next to you, too (especially since your body is like a furnace and you hold me close when I get cold). And I know you being away during the holidays is hard, but look at it this way - we’ll just have our firsts next year. Next year will be our first Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day together, not an ocean apart. We have all the time in the world, rocketman. Love you today and every day x

12/29 @ 6:02pm

There’s already so many things I’m dying to tell you and stories about the squadron we’re teaming up with, but the Navy will have my ass if I give away too many details so I’m just going to leave it at this: are we sure Max doesn’t have a twin on another continent? Take that as you will. What’re your plans for New Year’s? Your Bradley

12/30 @ 9:20am

Sorry for the delayed response! A minor issue with my brother and my dad that I won’t bore you with had the whole house in a tizzy. Thankfully, he and Lauren are gone even though my dad still won’t tell me what the issue was? Anyway! God, I wish I could hear more about Max’s twin? I am honestly kind of scared about knowing there’s a Max doppelgänger in the Navy (jokes!). For New Year’s, I’m going to this party with Mary and dad in the city, it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again. Message me when it’s the New Year your time! Love you! x

01/01 @ 12:09am

Happy New Year, sweetheart! They had a little party for the officers - we even got cake and Bob snuck me and Payback seconds somehow. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta look out for. You absolutely need to send me pictures of you in that dress, I can’t wait to see it on you in person someday. Hope you have a great time with your dad and Mary, give them my best. Love you and again Happy New Year!

Your Bradley

01/01 @ 12:01am

Happy New Year, Bradley!!! You got cake!! You broke some rules! I approve! Milk them for all the cake they’re worth! I’ll send some pics of the three of us and one just for you big boy 😉 Talk soon and love you so so much! x

01/01 @ 10:59am

Had a late start! Here are the pics from last night! Try and sneak some more cake xx

[mary_and_dad_being_annoying.jpg]

[me.jpg]

01/02 @ 6:12am

You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…

01/02 @ 9:04am

Who? Me? I would NEVER! (Just trying to keep you on your toes.) Hope the flying is going well and you’re staying safe, B! Love you!

01/03 @ 8:00pm

Yeah, it’s going well. It’s so different flying on the open ocean after so long? Last time was in September when I went to Hong Kong. The desert is cool, don’t get me wrong, but seeing the clouds and the water together is unreal. The pink and purple clouds remind me of you (sorry, that was lame). You still gotta let me take you up, kid. I’ve heard Mav is trying to convince you, but you gotta let me be the one. Can’t trust just anyone with my girl. Love B

01/04 @ 10:13am

Bradley…he’s practically your father, I’m pretty sure you can trust him to take me up in a plane, you silly boy. Not that I’m saying you won’t be my first…but come on! And it’s not lame. I like that the pink and purple clouds remind you of me. Every time I see a plane I send a little call out for your safety. Gotta keep you safe, rocketman! Talk soon and love you! x

01/06 @ 4:45pm

My parents just dropped me off at the airport and no matter how many times I leave them, I always cry. I think the only time I didn’t cry when I left their house was when you were with me over Thanksgiving. You always make it better, bubs.

They’re coming down in a couple weeks to help me start packing, anything in the house you wouldn’t want them to see while dropping off boxes? I can still bring my old bed, etc for the guest room, right?

All my love, x

01/06 @ 9:58pm

I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again.

I’m an open book, kid. Ain’t got nothing to hide. And yeah, anything like that feel free to bring with you for the guest room or office. It was the bed, nightstands, and dresser and then your couch for the office, yeah? We can get new bedding and pillows for it if you want? I’m on comms blackout for a couple days, so message me whenever you want so I can read them all when we’re back online.

Your Bradley

01/06 @ 10:07pm

Perfect! Love you and stay safe, rocketman.

01/06 @ 10:09pm

Love you too, kid.

01/09 @ 6:11pm

Bradley, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there was a raccoon in your garage! Scratch that, a FAMILY of raccoons!??! I’m sure Mr Harrington was ready to call the cops when he heard my scream. They’re so cute, but also terrifying at the same time? So, I called Pete and he came right over, a true knight in shining armor! Amelia and I did a THOROUGH sweep of the house to make sure they were relegated to the garage. Pete got them out safe and sound with a random tennis racket and your 4 iron, but somebody’s coming tomorrow to check on how they got in there. And I know they aren’t hurting anyone, but I just don’t want there to be any issues later on? (The babies were actually so cute and reminded me of my cat growing up, Porter.) Anyway! Enough drama for tonight, I hope that gets a laugh out of you - talk soon!

Love you! x

01/10 @ 8:05am

Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays.

01/12 @ 5:21pm

Okay! I’m in the parking lot, waiting for my first cooking class to start. Is it weird I’m a little nervous? I hope everyone else’s skill level is similar, I don’t like feeling behind. I brought my new apron, ironed it and everything. I feel a little like Ina Garten, isn’t she just divine? Okay, okay, I’m going in now! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks again for getting me these xx

01/12 @ 7:03pm

I feel so tired? Like my hand cramped a little bit? We started off the class with knife skills, which we’re going to do every week and then made this “simple” egg dish, which was NOT simple and I overcooked the egg. Ina would be so disappointed. Alas! Onto next week. Love you!

01/15 @ 9:12pm

Bradley you’re not going to BELIEVE what just happened on Succession. My heart is POUNDING? Do you think if I called and asked really nicely the Navy would get an HBO subscription for everyone? That is what I would like my tax dollars to go towards. Can you get me a direct line to someone in charge please? Love you!

01/16 @ 7:47am

Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together?

Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley

01/16 @ 9:04am

I’m glad you’re back online and safe! Perry Mason has not started yet, though I’m still certain you’re the only person under the age of 55 that watches it (I guess I should say we’re the only people under the age of 55 that watch it, but whatever). You’ve also missed a couple Top Chef episodes, but we can always binge this season later.

There’s about 12 of us in the class and it’s pretty evenly split? Though there’s tragically this really annoying couple who were at the station next to me. I hope we get to change next week, I don’t think I can watch them feed each other food another week.

And I’m still waiting for that direct line to the Navy, Bradshaw! Love you! x

01/1 6 @ 6:59pm

Wait, wait, how did I miss there? There was a WHAT in my garage? A raccoon? Multiple raccoons? We need to get a dog or a cat or something. x Bradley

01/18 @ 7:02am

Bradley!! I know we talked about a trip once you got home (provided you still feel up for it with the transition and all), what if we went here? I was talking about our tentative plans with my dad and Mary before I went back to San Diego and they went to Punta Mita this past fall and LOVED it! What do you think? Love you!

01/18 @ 6:03pm

Holy shit! That looks absolutely amazing, yes I’d love to go! Can we afford that though? It looks expensive? xBradley

01/18 @ 6:05pm

YAY!! Ahh, I’m so excited you have no idea! I want to hug and kiss you so bad right now! We can fly for free since I have a bunch of AA points (thank you pwc) and then I have like a million Amex points, so it’s not full price!!

01/18 @ 6:12pm

When you say ‘like a million’ do you actually mean a million or?

01/18 @ 6:14pm

Yes! I’ve had this card for like 15 years! My whole family does the pooling on it! It’s a drop in the bucket, promise! Plus, I always use my other card for work and that has a whole bunch of Bonvoy points on it, too. We could stay at one of those? I think there’s a St Regis next door?

01/18 @ 6:22pm

Sweetheart, I want to go, I just don’t want you to waste all those points on this.

01/18 @ 6:26pm

What if we go for 6 nights instead of 9? Maybe no plunge pool? Or we could pay cash instead? And then I could get 6x the points from paying that way? So, really….the points just keep accumulating, we’ve got to use them sometime! The points can pay for the flights and the hotel and then we can split the room charges and incidentals 50:50?

Will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer right away and we can always pick another hotel? But if we want to go someplace in late March/early April, I think we should book soon with spring break and all? Not that I imagine many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, but you never know…

01/18 @ 6:33pm

You gotta send me a ppt on all this points stuff, you know math stresses me out. And no, I don’t think many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, kid.

01/18 @ 6:37pm

Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3

01/18 @ 6:40pm

Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny.

And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…

(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)

01/18 @ 6:43pm

Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!! Is this a dossier for my eyes only? What will M say!? I’ll send you mine if you send me yours?

(But seriously, thank you! I’ll send you more specifics tomorrow - like pricing and whatnot - and you can take a couple days to think it over. And thank you for clarifying the camping thing, I was worried for a second there.)

I love you so much rocketman and we’ll talk (email) tomorrow

x Moneypenny

01/18 @ 6:46pm

I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks.

(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)

Love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/18 @ 6:58pm

Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server!

Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane

01/18 @ 7:01pm

Couldn’t help it. Plus, we both know it’s true.

01/18 @ 7:04pm

Oh, shut up. Shut me up

01/18 @ 11:43pm

I’m sorry if I came off too strong about planning earlier, I might’ve gotten a little carried away and been a little too eager about planning something five days after you’re home from a three month detachment. If at any time before you come home or even right after you come home you don’t feel up to the trip, please please please tell me. I want to do something nice for you and give you a chance to truly relax, but I’d hate for it to come at a price. So, just let me know, okay? Say the word and we’ll push it, alright? I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but tell me if it’s ever too much. I’ll always be here, promise. Love you x

[dossier_for_your_eyes_only.ppt]

01/19 @ 8:29am

Kid, no. I promise I’ll tell you. You know I love how excited you get planning things. I think I like it so much because you take care of it all. Sure, you ask for my opinion and what I want, but I just have to tell you one thing, one idea and you take care of it.

Funny though, isn’t it? How it’s totally opposite in the other side of our relationship? You tell me one thing, one idea and I take care of all of it? Bet it’s hard for you not having someone around to do that for you? Maybe next time we Facetime we can talk more about that? x B

01/19 @ 10:11am

Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.

See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross. You smell absolutely divine and I rake my hands through your hair as you eat me out underneath my glass desk. I get a conference call, but you don’t stop the entire time. You like how squirmy and fussy I get, I can’t focus on the deliverable I’m working on for the client. You like that I can’t control myself, that I squeeze my thighs around your head. Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, your cock is aching so badly, and you need to fuck me on top of my desk. You’re so strong it almost breaks. You fuck me so good everyone in the office can hear me crying out for you.

(actually, I’m on the couch, watching college football, but it’s more fun to imagine you fucking me in my office - see, creative imagination! Make sure you get a quiet room for that Facetime...)

Love x

01/19 @ 7:29pm

You think you’re funny, huh? You have any more of those thoughts, feel free to send them my way. ‘m taking out that picture you gave me for Christmas right now. How you taking care of yourself? My imagination isn’t as creative as yours. B

01/19 @ 7:40pm

Guess you’ll have to wait for our next Facetime…

01/20 @ 4:24pm

Your dad and Mary write me emails, you know. They aren’t as good correspondents as you are (for how could they possibly be, my dear?), but they check in about once a week or so. Mary sends me some of the articles she gives her students and talks about the show she’s watching with your dad. Your dad mainly talks about you. It makes me wish my parents were still around to do this stuff with me. Just checking in and writing emails and bragging about me to my girlfriend? How was yesterday’s class?

Your Bradley

01/20 @ 5:39m

I didn’t know they wrote you that often and I’m beyond embarrassed that my dad talks about me that much? But come on, Bradley…you have someone who does that, too? He’s about 5’8” (on a good day), looks great in a leather jacket, and just spent about two hours last weekend cleaning your gutters and telling me about how you won your high school’s debate scholarship?? Like how could you not tell me that? It’s literally one of the hottest things I’ve heard about you!

Class was good! They taught us a trick to cut onions without crying and one of the other girls complimented my apron! We’re doing meats next week, cutting, marinating, cooking, etc. and I’m excited!

01/20 @ 5:42pm

Oh gee, I bet it’s just awful for you to have Mav around all the time. Knight in shining armor…

01/20 @ 5:48pm

He’s not a bother! And it’s not all the time! We’re actually going to get lunch together on Saturday! It’s this new place on the water.

01/20 @ 5:50pm

Sounds like a cute little date! You’ll have to tell me how he is. Love you so much B

01/20 @ 5:55pm

I’ll keep ya posted, bubs! Love you!

01/22 @ 10:01am

Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B

01/22 @ 10:09am

YOU’RE FUCKING SHITTING ME????? Oh my god, Bradley! That’s amazing! Margie even ran into my office to see what made me shriek! I am TOTALLY having a viewing party! Oh my god, how do you think it went? Did they get your good side? What about hair and makeup? I know you get helmet hair, bubs.

Seriously, so so excited and proud of you, Bradley! I’m going to make my dad and Mary come down for it! She doesn’t teach on Mondays, so this is perfect for them to stay over Sunday night! But now don’t go letting all that fame get to your head, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw 😉 Love you so much x

01/24 @ 12:17pm

Rocketman -

I was sitting at my desk earlier and listening to some music before my 12:30 meeting and Elton John’s Rocket Man popped up on my shuffle. Obviously, as you are my rocketman, I always think of you whenever I hear it, but today the lyrics really scratched that special part of my brain, so I did a deep dive into the song’s origins.

Please note, I’m including this time in my billable hours to the client (re. you). My findings are as follows:

Bernie Taupin was inspired by a Ray Bradbury story written in 1951 titled ‘The Rocket Man’ - not drugs as the urban legend states! Drugs! Imagine!

Bradbury’s ‘The Rocket Man’ was first published in Maclean’s, a weekly Canadian magazine, before it was published in the short story collection ‘The Illustrated Man’ that same year

‘The Illustrated Man’ later was made into a film, though ‘The Rocket Man’ story was notably absent

Some of more popular and renowned stories from the collection include ‘The Veldt’ and ‘The Long Rain,’ the latter of which is commonly read in high school honors English

Was client in honors English? Please confirm in follow up correspondence

Client has mentioned extensive library resources at disposal - perhaps he can check this collection out on his next visit? But for now, an executive summary has been provided:

With space travel more commonplace in society, Doug’s father, an astronaut, is sent on frequent, three- month journeys into space

Despite missing his dad, Doug also longs to be a Rocket Man, though his mother frequently prevails on Doug to beg his father to stay on Earth and be with the family

“What’s it like, out in space?” Mother shot me a frightened glance. It was too late. Dad stood there for a full half minute trying to find an answer, then he shrugged.“It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, it’s really nothing at all. Routine. You wouldn’t like it.” He looked at me, apprehensively. “But you always go back.” “Habit.”

The father finds that his work is ruining his life, but the draw of the stars is too great: "You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, if I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I got out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

Even while on vacation with the family, having Thanksgiving dinner, or sitting on the back porch, the father’s eyes are always on the sky…

Doug’s father begs him to not be like him, to not be a rocket man, but what happens when his father goes on one last journey to the stars?

Through much reflection, I have decided that ‘The Rocket Man’ was written about you - and your mom and your dad and me and on and on until there is no longer a need for Rocket Men - or the rocket man simply stops and breaks the cycle

You are both the Rocket Man and the little boy, forever waiting for his father to come home from space

The allure of flying, of being a ‘rocket man,’ is both too great and too sad for you to ignore

None of this is to say the rocket man is selfish, no. He simply cannot resist the temptation. He knows nothing other than the thrill and peace of being amongst the stars

And his mother shielding Doug from the sun at the end is like your mom asking Mav to pull your papers, she does it to save him, but it cannot keep him from becoming his father

Needless to say - I had to postpone my 12:30 meeting until tomorrow as my eyes were far too puffy and any word I tried to say felt like cotton in my mouth.

I miss you and I love you - your ‘Lilly’

01/24 @ 8:22pm

Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.

01/24 @ 8:28pm

I pour my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say, rocketman? ‘Fuck - I love you so much’

(of course, I also love you so much, my clever boy.)

01/24 @ 8:30pm

Darling - it’s going to take me a little longer to come up with any commentary you deem appropriate, so for the sake of time, yes. I gotta read this story in full. I’ll be at the library at my earliest convenience. ‘The client’ will send an annotated copy with his notes henceforth.

01/24 @ 8:32pm

Of course, sweet boy. Goodnight, I love you so much. x

01/25 @ 11:44am

As promised, my darling girl. Love you.

[b.bradshaw_the rocket man_final paper.pdf]

01/25 @ 7:14pm

Oh Bradley! I love you so much, rocketman. Yes, I couldn’t have said it better. Yours x

01/26 @ 10:39am

Bradley! They’re sending me to London in February for two weeks! I even get a swanky corporate apartment for the stay. I wish you could come with me - even if it was just for a long weekend? We could go to all my favorite restaurants and afternoon tea and for walks in all the parks. One day it’ll work out!

But tragedy of all tragedies! I just realized I’m going to miss a couple cooking lessons when I’m in London! I already emailed the instructor before today’s class and she said there’s other classes throughout the week that are behind us, so I can make it up with them! Ahhh I’m so excited! Talk soon, love you!

01/26 @ 11:13pm

I didn’t realize how nervous I was about the trip until I went to bed tonight. It’ll be my first trip abroad since I got my promotion in November. Plus, it’s a completely different client than my last trip abroad and I’ve only met one person on this new London team before. Sometimes I go into these meetings and still feel like a little kid? I’m always the youngest person in the room and normally the only woman and on one hand, that’s cool? But sometimes I feel like someone’s daughter instead of their colleague? Like these guys are my dad’s age? And they’re actually supposed to listen to what I have to say about their company? Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t really belong, despite knowing you’ve earned your place? I wish you were beside me right now. My bed feels way too big tonight. Love you.

01/27 @ 7:48am

Sweetheart! I am so unbelievably proud of you! That’s amazing! You gotta celebrate, go out to dinner with Caro and Darcy, maybe even Nat! I know you’ve been working so hard these last couple of weeks, you absolutely deserve this. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but yes. I have absolutely felt like I haven’t belonged or deserved something despite having ‘checked off all the boxes.’ I felt that way when I got promoted to LC and when I got that award in October. Everytime I see it on my uniform, I feel a bit like a faker? Like do I really deserve this? But then I remember the way you smiled at me when I got back to my seat that night and how proud of me you were and I think maybe I do deserve it? Plus, I also think of how goddamn gorgeous you looked all fucked out later that night.

And please note, I would happily slip into bed alongside you, especially since my bed feels way too small tonight. Love you, Bradley

01/27 @ 10:56am

Thank you for earlier. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like I’m just too soft for all of this? Like I’m always trying to prove something to everyone and I get a little lost. Tell me something good? x

01/27 @ 7:01pm

How about this? Every time I go up in the sky and see the way the sun hits the clouds, I think of you. I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. I love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/27 @ 7:06pm

Sometimes I can’t believe we love each other this much, it feels like a dream x

01/27 @ 7:11pm

I can. Your Bradley

01/30 @ 7:08am

i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x

01/30 @ 7:23am

Well I spray my pillowcase with your perfume whenever I miss you so I guess we’re even

Your Bradley

ps - can you send me another bottle?

01/30 @ 7:34am

You’re already out? What sort of illicit behavior are you engaging in with that perfume bottle?

01/30 @ 10:33pm

I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?

01/30 @ 10:37pm

How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Reuben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?

01/30 @ 10:41pm

Now why would I ruin the mystery?

01/30 @ 10:43pm

Bradley!!!!

01/30 @ 10:44pm

Atta girl, that’s the spirit! Love you

02/02 @ 6:30pm

I am so sick of going to the gym. It seems like it’s all Payback and I do lately. We got this new workout regime that’s been killing me - don’t say it’s because I’m old. Though, I have been using my Theragun. Payback does my back if I do his in return. It was only awkward the first time he turned it on too hard and yelped (please tell everyone that).

02/02 @ 6:46pm

Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!

02/04 @ 2:45pm

Going to Pete and Penny’s in a bit to watch the Super Bowl! Max is at the game, apparently his golf buddy Jimmy G hooked him up, though he neglected to bring me or Caroline. I feel like you would’ve been his first choice, so take that as a compliment I suppose. Do you guys do anything onboard for it? I have $350 on the 49ers winning by 3. Have a lovely day my darling boy x

02/04 @ 9:30pm

Guess who’s as snug as a bug on a rug in her bed AND $1400 dollars richer? That would be me! When you get home we’re going to Juniper and Ivy, my treat, bubs! x

02/06 @ 4:57am

Awww sweetheart are you gonna sugar mama me again?

02/06 @ 7:03am

You do know the only reason you’re getting away with that is because there’s an ocean between us, right?

02/06 @ 6:00pm

Sorry, couldn’t resist! Love you! B

02/06 @ 6:10pm

You’re lucky I love you so much. x

02/08 @ 9:58pm

Can you imagine if I was gone for 20 years?

02/08 @ 10:11pm

Bradley that’s not funny

02/08 @ 10:13pm

It’s not supposed to be. I’m reading the Odyssey and it got me thinking.

02/08 @ 10:16pm

Bradley I love you something awful, but you are such an old man sometimes.

Are you going through some sort of midlife crisis reading the Odyssey while you’re at sea?? Is the Old Man and the Sea next?

(ps i love the thought of you reading in your bunk in your spare time and being so struck by something composed thousands of years ago that you have to email me)

02/08 @ 10:20pm

They wait 20 years to get back to each other - practically half their lives. They miss so many things and barely knew each other before he left, but they’re still so - I don’t even know? They’re just so intent on getting back to the other in Odysseus’s case? While Penelope makes sure there’s something for him to come back to? And I must’ve read this stanza ten times before I had to email you:

"...the gods cast me upon Ogygia, Calypso's island, home of the dangerous sea nymph with glossy braids, and the goddess took me in in all her kindness, welcomed me warmly, cherished me, even vowed to make me immortal, ageless, all my days - but she never won the heart inside me, never"

And I know it’s not a perfect comparison or parallel, but I read that last bit and I couldn’t help but think of you? And how you’re the one who won my heart and it’s always going to be that way. Whether I see you in twenty seconds or twenty years.

02/08 @ 10:23pm

You’d come home to me whether it took twenty seconds or twenty years. You’d come home to me and I’d know you anywhere. I love you so much.

02/08 @ 10:58pm

“Now help me, please, to get back home, and quickly! I miss my family. I have been gone so long it hurts.”

Your Bradley

02/09 @ 7:03pm

At the airport for London! Taking off! And I may or may not have used points to upgrade to a Club World seat…but like? It’s a nonstop flight, so it’s okay, right? Work’s already paying for business class? It’s points from my work card? It’ll be fine, right?

I had to take an ativan in the lounge. I just hate that I still get so nervous whenever I fly long distance? I fly all the time, I shouldn’t be like this? You know, one time, I pretended you were flying my plane. I know it’s kind of dumb and silly and a completely different type of plane, but it made me feel better because you’d never let anything happen to me.

Anyway, we’re book buddies!! I went to the bookstore a couple days ago and got a copy! I read the Odyssey back in high school, but forgot so much. I was reading in the lounge and this part made me think of you:

“...this lovely house, my marriage home, so full of wealth and life, which I suppose I will remember even in my dreams.”

I’ll text you when I land my darling boy, love you x

02/10 @ 6:02am

You gotta squeeze every last bit of your per diem out of pwc. You’ve been working way too hard lately. Fuck it, on the way home just put the upgrade on your work card or put it on mine. Have a safe (rest of your) flight - maybe one day you’ll let me take you up. Love Bradley

02/10 @ 10:08am

Just landed and on my way to the office (already…)

I thought of you as I read and stared out the window on the plane. I could pretend I’m flying towards you, rather than further away. I can’t imagine how you feel doing this everyday, but I imagine it’s like feeling limitless, like everything is in front of you, there for the taking. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you take me up one day.

I’ll keep you posted on how everything’s going if you do the same. All my love x

02/12 @ 5:49am

How’s it going, kid? They working you too hard? You’re in London! Try to enjoy it, you deserve it. One of the guys I’m with gave me a restaurant rec for you, said the drinks were amazing, his wife loved it. Do something fun while you’re there! And send me some pictures dammit!

Love you,

Bradley

02/12 @ 8:22am

Bradley! It’s been so so crazy here! I feel like I haven’t stopped since I landed. My ‘flat’ is so cute and right by the client’s offices, so it’s an easy commute. I feel so professional taking the Tube places too! It’s one thing I’d like us to have in San Diego as opposed to all the traffic. Also, it’s CHILLY here and I’m so glad I dug my big coat out of storage. I’ll try and check the restaurant out this weekend, I’m gonna sneak in a trip to the Tate, too. I’ve always wanted to see the Turners. Talk soon and love you bunches! x

02/14 @ 9:54am

Bradley Bradshaw! You absolute SAP! HOW!?! Did you conspire with my dad again? Thank you for the flowers! I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face all day. I love you and hope this is the first of a lifetime of Valentine’s Days together. Always x

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, kid. I’m not gonna lie, I gave your dad very specific instructions for the bouquet (I was going to ask Max, but he’d probably swap it for something ugly and cheap and keep the change…kidding (not)), so I’m glad they turned out well. It was a very big day on board today: we got special red heart cookies for the holiday. The mood was infectious, I can still taste the sprinkles. Maybe you could cook for me on our next Facetime? Have you learned anything good in class lately? It doesn’t have to be fancy, just wanna see you (and maybe also live vicariously through whatever you’re making).

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Bradley! I think I can swing that for you, when do you think our next call will be?

02/16 @ 3:18pm

Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)

02/16 @ 3:23pm

That’s not true! I’m in the one in front of the Tate!

02/16 @ 3:25pm

Yeah, but I can’t see you under all those layers! Just want to see your face. It’s been way too long since our last Facetime.

02/16 @ 9:52pm

As requested, Lieutenant Commander. I had one of the girls in the London office take this at dinner tonight. She really did wonders with the lighting and even managed to get my sidecar in the pic! x Love you

02/17 @ 6:55am

You look pretty. New dress? B

02/17 @ 7:17am

Maybe…it was on sale, couldn’t resist. But you’re gonna hate me because all of my clothes are very much not going to fit in your closet. Also, I bought you a new jacket and some socks. x

02/17 @ 7:20am

Ehhh I’m not too worried about the closet thing. But if you keep buying me clothes we might have a problem.

02/17 @ 7:24am

It’s so cute though!! You’re going to look so handsome in it! I got the green one for you!

02/17 @ 7:29am

Okay, admittedly a very nice jacket, thank you. But you are aware that we live in San Diego…

02/17 @ 7:31am

I am aware of that fact, LC Bradshaw. You can wear it when we visit my parents. Hell, I had to get my coat out of my storage closet for this trip.

02/17 @ 6:53pm

Sighhhhh you raise a good point. Alright, alright, thank you for the jacket and socks my darling girl. What’d you have for dinner last night? We had chicken with these absolutely awful biscuits, tasted like saw dust, my stomach was growling for some more of that Cadbury chocolate (yes, Payback and I ate all of it already, though it was mainly Payback) for hours afterward.

02/17 @ 6:59pm

Oh my sweet boy! Who do I need to call about your meal plan? Give me the number and I’ll call the Navy up right now. And I had scallops with truffle risotto. It was delicious. Wanted to lick the bowl clean. Love you bubs x

02/19 @ 10:22pm

Bubs, I cannot eat another meal out. I feel like I’m going to burst. I’ve gone to so many work dinners and lunches even before coming here, it almost makes me feel like a glutton.

I miss you and your cooking (though I’ll have you know that my skills were vastly improving before my trip abroad!) and you standing behind me at the counter while I try to perfectly cut peppers. Sometimes I do it wrong on purpose so you’ll put your arms around me and I can feel the rumble of your voice. Would we call that weaponized incompetence? You better be ready for some Michelin Star meals when you get home, buddy. I just can’t wait to be home with you and roll over next to you in the morning and to tell you to stop snoring and that the battery in the smoke detector needs to be changed. I can’t wait to be home with you and make a life with you. I’m going to be really sappy now, but let me have this because I was reading this poem the other day and thought of you.

“I am supposed to be touched. I can’t wait to find the person who will come into the kitchen just to smell my neck and get behind me and hug me and breathe me in and make me turn around and make me kiss his face and put my hands in his hair even with my soapy dishwater drips. I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” (x)

Only a month until you’re home with me, I hope you’re hungry.

All my love x

02/20 @ 4:50am

It’s only weaponized incompetence if the other person minds. I, however, do not mind. I loved that quote you sent me, going to be thinking about that one for a long time. I hate to tell you this, but I’m gonna be offline for a couple days. I hate that it’s at the end of your trip, but please please message me when you’re leaving/taking off and again when you land, you know I worry. Love you and am so unbelievably proud of you, kid! You killed it in London. Your Bradley

02/20 @ 7:03am

That’s okay, I totally understand. I’ll give you all the details on our next Facetime. In the meantime, I message you when I leave. Stay safe and love you, Bradley! x

02/23 @ 3:45pm

Taking off soon! I got an upgrade again, thankfully! And I made sure to put your new coat in my carry on - I don’t trust British Airways not to lose it! Taking an ativan again so hopefully I’ll sleep the entire flight - love you and talk soon!

02/24 @ 10:33pm

Just landed, slept through….90% of the flight! Apparently, there was bad turbulence, so probably for the best. Now, I know you would never have me deal with that my darling rocketman! Talk later - love you! x

02/25 @ 7:09pm

Feels kind of weird being back? I can’t quite get back into my routine. I’m not sure if it’s jet lag or something else? Feeling a little lost? x

02/26 @ 7:55pm

Bradley!!! You were so good, I’m so so proud of you! Max had everyone over at his place for us to watch you! We have quite the party here including my parents, Pete, Penny and Amelia, Natasha, Mickey and Cielo, Caroline, and Darcy. I’ll have to tell you about the parents meeting later. I wish you had been here for it, they took to each other like bees to honey.

You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right? I’ve got to get back to everyone, Max ordered dinner for us afterwards, but I had to email you as soon as you finished!

Just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am and how much I love you x

02/27 @ 5:09am

Thanks, kid. Sorry it took me a bit to respond, things have been getting a bit crazy, you know, now that I’m a celebrity and all? We’re winding down this training, so the next couple weeks are gonna be full of debriefs and paperwork, which means I should have a more stable schedule. Love you B

02/28 @ 11:48pm

Sometimes I wonder if you were here what would you do? Hold me? Love me? I never feel small except when I’m in your arms. x

02/29 @ 11:48pm

Some nights in bed, if I try really hard, I can imagine I’m laying down next to you. And it makes everything just a little easier. Bradley

03/01 @ 12:56am

I haven’t taken anything besides my fingers in months. You’re going to stretch me out so well when you get home.

03/01 @ 7:19pm

And I’m gonna mark your ass pink for that comment. I can’t believe you sent that in the middle of the day. You getting yourself off at work? Dirty girl.

03/01 @ 9:41pm

Never feels as good as when you do it.

03/01 @ 10:01pm

And my hands pale in comparison to your pretty little cunt. You know that first time we slept together you were so fucking tight, I knew you hadn’t had a good fuck in ages. It gonna be like that again when I come home?

03/01 @ 10:05pm

Where are you going to have me first?

03/01 @ 10:06pm

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen.

03/01 @ 10:09pm

Just over two weeks now, I can’t wait to see you. x

03/03 @ 5:55am

How you holding up, kid? You doing a little better this week work wise? Try and log off around 5 if you can. Don’t want you getting all worn down on me.

They had us doing these war games yesterday that made me think of you. You would’ve walked circles around some of these other guys I swear. Think I can get a Facetime for us in a couple days? Probably will be our last one before I come home. Love you, B

03/03 @ 7:12am

Bradley! That's the best news I’ve had in ages! I can’t wait to see you! Definitely felt a little lost after coming back from London, but I hope my rut will be over soon? Tying things up with a client is always so lengthy and tedious.

War games! ‘Would you like to play a game?’ I’d ask if you won, but no one ever wins in the art of war 😉Love you!

03/05 @ 8:54pm

So, here’s a new one. My mom called? She’s going to be stateside and wants to get lunch tomorrow. Could’ve done with a bit more warning, but apparently, she has a layover in San Diego on her way to New York to see my brother? I didn’t even know she was going to see him? I don’t even know if I want to see her? It’s funny, I can already tell you exactly how it’ll play out:

We’ll go to lunch at some sort of vegan restaurant, probably Donna Jean

She’ll make me pay

She’ll try to get me to use some sort of herb to promote weight loss since I’m looking a bit “pudgy” around the face

Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best

She’ll ask how ‘that woman’ is doing as if Mary is just the woman my dad is seeing, not the woman who raised me and my brother

And finally, she’ll ask for money though betting is still open as to what for!

So, what do you say? Wanna put a wager on it? Your terms.

Love you! x

03/06 @ 6:30am

$100 she orders the caesar and makes you pay. I’m not even going to entertain the third parlay, pretty girl. Oddly feeling like she’s got a winner on her hands so yes she’ll talk about her new paramour. Does she really call Mary ‘that woman?’ And yes, without a question, she will ask you for money.

Your move my gorgeous girl,

Bradley

03/06 @ 7:49pm

I really wish you were here right now. She doesn’t even know me, but she somehow always manages to make me feel small.

Caesar - no croutons

I paid

Pudgy and frumpy, but she was hawking shakes not herbs

Failed relationship? No, she’s actually GETTING MARRIED

She did not ask about you much other than to say I need to watch my figure for you (see bullet point no. 3)

Mary was called ‘that woman’ six times before I stopped counting

She asked for money as a wedding present

So, you didn’t get them all, but not a bad showing. Love you. Talk tomorrow on Facetime. x

03/07 @ 6:09am

God kid, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Actually, I don’t even think she deserves to know what she’s missing. Did you talk to your dad or Mary about it? I know we’re talking later, but I just wanted you to have a message from me before you start your day. What’re you wearing to the office tomorrow? Have you worn that wrap dress lately? You know it’s one of my favorites and that I always love unwrapping it when you get home from the office.

Can’t wait to see you tonight. All my love, Bradley

03/07 @ 9:55am

The dress doesn’t fit. My mom was right, I shouldn’t have gotten the french toast.

I’m planning on talking to dad and Mary later today before you and I have our Facetime. I know they’ll make me feel better, much like you have my darling boy, but it still feels pretty crummy. Especially since I’m sure she’s going to have wonderful time in New York with my brother 🙄 and I’ll have to hear all about it next time I talk to him.

And I’m not sure if I’ve unpacked that dress yet! I’ll have to do some digging. Talk soon! x

03/10 @ 3:26am

We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy.

It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together.

And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect.

Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when.

And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you.

I love you rocketman x

03/11 @ 12:49pm

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that’s a lot to drop on you, especially since we can’t talk in person. I guess I’ve just never missed a person more in my life and seeing that future showed me what we could have when you come home. God, Bradley I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here - in twenty seconds, not twenty years.

How did your hop go today? x

03/11 @ 7:03pm

I have dreams like that, too. I’ll be little, but still older than I was when my dad died and we’ll be at the beach, running around, and he’ll pick me up and spin me around like I’m flying on an airplane.

But then it’ll be me and my kid, running around and I’ll pick them up and spin them around like they’re flying on an airplane. Sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a little boy. But I always just can feel and tell that I love them and I’d do anything for them.

And I used to hate waking up alone after I had them and I’d feel empty and sad and like I had the feeling that they should still be there? Except now I have you and I know it doesn’t just have to be a dream?

Sorry it took me so long to reply. Today was hectic and I didn’t get to check my email until later. But if I checked it earlier, my day would’ve been a lot easier on my heart.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/12 @ 7:11pm

How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x

03/13 @ 10:17pm

i miss having you around to take care of me. and telling me what to do and what to wear for you and how you want me and where you want me and when you want me and and and. and how good i feel around you as you come, how you take what’s yours. how i need you to take control and tell me what i need because i’m too much of a dumb slut to figure it out on my own. i need you so much bradley. and it’s so hard because i’m trying to take care of myself like you do and imagine what you’d do if you were with me right now. but i’m so frustrated since no one takes care of me like you do. i feel so empty. nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

3/13 @ 10:39pm

Awwww sweetheart, did you get yourself all worked up over me? It’s okay, I know it’s hard for you all by yourself. Must’ve been real bad for you to risk this getting flagged, huh? Poor thing, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.

Want you to pretend I’m next to you, leaning over you as you lay down and touch yourself. Say yes Bradley, more Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. Good girl.

Want you naked under the covers, no frilly little pajama set or anything. No, I want your cum to stain the sheets and then for you to have to clean up in the morning, all embarrassed because you did this. You made yourself like this because you can’t control yourself without me around. All that cum being wasted. Nobody around to lick it off your pussy. So what doesn’t get on the sheets, you have to taste. Good girl.

Want you to use your fingers - only your fingers, I’ll know if you use anything else. Start with your breasts. Think of how perfectly they fit in my hands and how yours aren’t quite the same. They aren’t as big. Aren’t as strong. Play with your nipples, drag your nails across the soft skin on the underside of your breasts.

Want you to sigh my name as you slide your hands down your stomach towards your pretty little pussy. Have you shaved? Gotten a wax? You know how I like it, want it just like that when I get home. Pretend it’s my fingers sliding into your cunt. A few touches and you’re already clenching on air and I’m not even around.

In and out, in and out. Circle your clit with your thumb. Add another finger, then another. You rocking your hips yet? I know you’re soaked. I know you want more. Three fingers can’t stretch you out nearly as much as you need. But I don’t know if you can handle anything else without me around. And I know you would never disagree with me, right? Because you’re my good girl and good girls do what they’re told.

Don’t hesitate to get loud. You’re in our house, in our bed, you can be as loud as you want. Bet you’re getting close, huh? Try and last a little longer, can you hear yourself and how wet you are? Are you shaking yet? I know you’re close. Go ahead, speed up your fingers, just the way I do. It’s okay, you can come. Know you’re gonna get sleepy soon, wish I could sleep inside you, nice and tight.

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl.

03/14 @ 5:49pm

Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for taking care of me last night

You like chicken piccata, right?

03/14 @ 7:33pm

Yeah, kid, I like chicken piccata.

03/14 @ 7:39pm

Okay, that’s good. I’m going to make it when you come home. I ran it by my cooking instructor. Ina’s recipe of course.

(I’ve read your email seven times since you sent it. I’ve thought about it constantly. I want you to take me softly and slowly that first time. But after that? I can’t wait to let go and float. Love you so much x)

03/15 @ 6:09am

You’re the boss. Good thing I’ll be home soon, you’re gonna run out of material. As is, I had to type that last one with one hand.

Love you,

03/15 @ 7:21am

I’ll be good till you get home, promise.

Have a good day, do you think we’ll get to talk much from now till Friday? Love you x

03/15 @ 7:24am

I’ll hold you to it.

I don’t think so, might be able to send one out before leaving the boat. Better make it a good one.

All my love

Your Bradley

03/15 @ 7:25am

You got it! Love you bubs

03/18 @ 11:08pm

Kid - there’s this lyric that keeps running through my head: ‘and I want you right here.’ I want you beside me - today, tomorrow, all my days. I want you right here, beside me forever. In twenty seconds, not twenty years. See you tomorrow.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/18 @ 11:11pm

See you tomorrow, rocketman. I’ll be the one in blue.

Love you x

a/n: thanks for reading! i'll be back with part ii and part iii (hopefully not in...4 months). i had so much fun writing these and getting to explore a different format and side to their relationship! thanks to alexa @sometimesanalice, kylie @ofstoriesandstardust, cass @notroosterbradshaw, elle @dissonannce, nik @cherrycola27, and loren @heartsofminds for all the support!

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster imagine #bradley and smart aleck #top gun imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster x reader

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t1red-twilight · 6 months ago

Note

OMG OMG can you do something with angst request #10 "i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore" with peter :)))))) Ive been sad and need some angst to match the mood and who better to ask!!!

bereavement

summary: “i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore.”

content/warnings: gn!reader, andrew!peter, angst, major character death, grief, descriptions of ptsd, disordered eating (if you squint)

notes: omg tysm!!! i GOTCHU girl (gender-neutral). i really really tried with this one, i hope you enjoy it. i hope you feel better, dear anon. this fic made me cry lol

word count: 1k

masterlist p. parker masterlist

you had had a grueling day at work. you hadn’t slept the night before; your head plagued with dreams and regrets that you would carry as long as you would live. everyone was bothering you in some shape or form, plus, you had forgotten your lunch.

all you wanted was peter. you opted to walk to his home instead of trying to bear the late night traffic.

when you saw him, your shoulders finally released the tension that they had been holding.

“hey, pete.” you sat down next to him. “you would not believe how hard work was today. a rude older lady harassed me about messing up one of her forms, even though she was the one that filled them out.” you slouched and looked at the ground.

the honks of busy city life filled your ears. the smell from the rain lingered. “i forgot my lunch again. i don’t have enough to eat out right now either, so i just didn’t have lunch. but that’s not a big deal.” stomach pains were something that you were becoming quite familiar with. inhaling deeply, you continued. “i canceled more plans. i know you don’t want me to, but i just want to spend any time i have, with you. I can’t bear to be further away from you.” the sound of him scolding you felt like whispers against your damp skin.

you reached up and wiped a lone tear from your cheek. smiling as wide as you could handle, you tried to ignore them.

“i want to move to somewhere quieter, but i could never leave you.” you fiddled with your fingers out of habit.

there was a pause. your ears rang. “you don’t ever have to worry about me leaving, okay? i promise. i’ll stay here as long as you need me too.”

you waited; your eyes trailed downward, head turned away. the street was still slick with the combination of the oil from the city mixed with the rain. your breathing was fitful now, tears soaking the neckline of your top.

“i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore,” you choked out, your hands rubbing the sockets of your eyes. you scanned the graveyard before returning your gaze to where peter rested.

Peter’s headstone was simple; he never would have wanted something grandiose. you and may picked out a simple granite. it was more may’s choice than yours, you had been too hysterical to even cope with the fact that the funeral you were planning was his.

even through hysterics, it never really hit you that he was dead. not until he sunk in an urn into the earth.

he always insisted an urn, better for the environment. neither you or may could handle having him sit on your mantle. you both decided that it felt too dehumanizing.

his headstone read: Peter Benjamin Parker: Lover, Son, Hero.

“it’s not getting any easier. i still love you more than anything, peter. i’m not capable of loving someone else, i think.

“you’ve ruined me romantically.” you laughed at the thought. it was a joke, even though it rang truer and truer as each day passed.

“you are the highlight of my existence. good lord, peter. you mean so much to me. there is nothing that i wouldn’t do to see you again. or, at the very least get your pillow to smell normal again. it reeks of me.”

peter died in your arms.

you could not quite recall the turn of events completely, but you could very clearly remember what he had said to you last.

he stumbled into your apartment through the fire escape. it got blurry after he thudded onto the carpet.

there had been some criminal ransacking the city who had a particular vengeance for peter. every time peter went out, he came back worse and worse. the name of the scum that killed him laid dormant somewhere in your mind. you refused to even think about him, as far as you were concerned, he was beneath you.

you had known that peter’s crime fighting could result in something serious, but pete had always insisted that everything was going to end up all right.

“i got him,” he had said. you ran over to help him. everything you remembered was from the third person, like you were watching yourself from above. you couldn’t recollect anything you said in response. “finally you’ll be safe from-”

from this point everything was crystal clear. you could name the shampoo still faintly straggled in his hair. it was your shampoo; now tarnished with the intense irony scent of blood that congested the throngs of your shared bedroom.

“peter, we have got to call an ambulance.” you were getting frantic. you tried as hard as you could to hoist him up, but he resisted. his arms rested atop your shoulders as you tried and tried to lift him up.

“it’s my time, love, it’s-”

“no. just let me get you to the hospital. if you hold on just a little bit longer, we can get you fixed up, okay?”

he inhaled like he was going to say something. his forehead fell to your shoulder.

“honey?” you shook him. “peter?”

“pete? peter?” you hand moved to his scalp. you tried to thread your fingers through his hair to no avail. the matting from his blood halted you fingers as soon as you began.

“c’mon, darling. stay awake, okay?”

“peter?”

your screech was pathetic as he laid limply in your arms. his chest was concave and his left foot had been barely hanging on.

you changed your shampoo after that; the smell of it only ever brought you that night. whenever you closed your eyes, you saw visions of peter. you could not decide which was worse: the memories where he was happy, or the play-by-play of his soul shrinking away from yours.

nights were now filled with television reruns, your ceiling, anything that could keep you awake occupied your time. when you were asleep you could be with him again. but, you never wanted to wake up. the hollow throbbing pains of having him ripped away from you again when you woke made you an insomniac.

you doomed yourself to repeat this cycle. it was as if you ever managed to get over peter, you’d lose everything that you had of him. so, you clung to every crumb that remained. even though those crumbs were slipping through your fingers like sand and disappearing with time as days passed.

#lee’s writing <3 #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #peter parker angst #x reader #angst #andrew garfield!peter x reader

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hansensgirl · 11 months ago

Text

summary. | Your number one fan turns out to be someone far more sinister.

prompts. | Pete Brenner + Camgirl + “I can’t help it. I love you too much.” + Dumbification, requested by Anonymous.

pairing. | dark!Pete Brenner x fem!camgirl!reader.

warnings. | NON/DUBCON, stalking, spying, camgirl, private session, power imbalance, age gap, masturbation (male and female), use of a dildo, delusion, dumbification, Daddy kink, pet names, mild overstimulation, smut, dirty talk, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!

author’s note. | this is a part of my Dark Concepts (2023) request form. thank you for taking part in this event! please enjoy and don’t forget to reblog. MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY! taglist: @hansensfics

You start a new live for your ten or so customers. Some are regulars; most are dawdlers who just need jerk-off material. You’re happy to oblige as long as your bills are getting paid. You don’t aim to rise on the ranks of the site like others. You just want to get by.

That’s what it is, right? You swore to yourself that you’d stop eventually. Eventually…

You wait patiently, fiddling with the slip you’re wearing. It’s lavender-coloured, and you bought it with the tips you got from your last show. When you send the notification, you position yourself in a sultry yet casual pose.

The interlude is the most excruciating part. It’s when your negative thoughts emerge, and you wonder if you’re really cut out for this. You stare off and lose focus until your computer gives you a ping!

A viewer has joined. You recognize the username, D4ddy_P3te83. He watches your streams often but isn’t much of a regular attendee, especially on Sunday nights. His profile picture is of a swanky car, one you sort of recognize.

“Hey, you,” you greet, turning your charm on. He surpasses the paywall, and you can see he’s typing in the chat. You sip your water and read his message once it pops up.

Hey, princess. Slow night?

You laugh, a sweet giggle that mixes with your genuine chuckle. “Yeah, sort of. You have a good day?” you ask, leaning back a bit. He gets a good view of your tits.

I had a shit day. I was hoping you could make it better.

You pout playfully. “Aw, well, I could definitely help. What do you want me to do?” you question, biting your bottom lip. How about a private session? I’ll pay whatever.

Then comes the offer—$1300. Your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets. The blue button is exceptionally enticing.

You don’t consider the offer for long. He seems well-off with his promise and tender. Besides, what could go wrong? It’s just masturbation.

“Sure! Just give me a few seconds. Thank you for the offer—I’ll make sure to give you the best session ever.”

He sends you a wink emoji as you click ‘Accept,’ waiting as the screen loads.

When you’re in, you give him a wide grin. You deduce from his username that he likes to be called Daddy, and you do exactly that.

“Hi, Daddy… Thank you for the gift, you’re so kind,” you tell him, but his screen is black. You wait a few seconds, and then he turns his camera on, along with his microphone.

You’re greeted with the pleasant sight of a handsome man, indeed older than you. He screams finance, but you don’t comment.

“Fuck, you sound so sexy when you say that,” he growls. “The name’s Pete, though. I doubt I should tell you that, but I can’t help it. I love you too much,” Pete quickly explains, and you repeat his name with a hum just to make him chuckle. You ignore his words—he’s probably lonely. You just feel bad for him.

“Do you want me to keep calling you Daddy?” you ask, running your hands all over your body. He moans at the sight and nods. “Yeah, I’m your Daddy, baby,” Pete tells you, and you smile. His voice is deep and husky. “And how does Daddy want me, hm? I’ll do anything,” you whimper, pulling down the straps of your dress.

Your bare breasts are on display for him, and you squeeze and palm the supple flesh. You tweak your nipples, pinching and rolling them between your fingers. He groans.

“That flesh-coloured dildo—I wanna see you fuck yourself on that,” Pete tells you, and you spot it in your collection on the bed. You reach for it, arching your back and wiggling your ass for him to see. “You’re so hot,” he says.

“Heh, thank you, Daddy. You’re so good to me,” you moan, laying back on the many pillows you have. You spread your legs and reveal to Pete that you’re not wearing any panties. Your folds glisten with wetness, clit puffy and aching to be touched.

“Fuck—that pussy’s just beggin’ to get fucked. You wet for Daddy already, princess?” Pete asks, and you nod your head. You have a pout of pleasure on your face, giving him puppy eyes. “Uh-huh. All for you, Daddy,” you tell him.

“Good girl—I bet all you’re thinking of is getting split open with my cock, aren’t ya? Just a dumb little slut, always needing dick,” he grunts, and though his words are harsh, the filthiness has you whimpering.

You slap the tip of the dildo against your clit, jolting from the sensation as your legs twitch. “Mhm… ‘M just a dumb whore for Daddy,” you continue. You watch as Pete spits into his hand and adjusts his computer so that you can see his dick. It’s thick and long—red and leaking with pre-cum. You dart your tongue out to wet your lips.

You drag the toy through your folds almost impatiently, getting yourself worked up and the plastic soaked enough. “I’m so much bigger than that dildo, honey. You’d cry if I fucked you,” Pete says, and you can tell that his words are true. “Promise?”

“Of course. Anything for my best girl.”

Slowly, you insert the dildo into your weeping hole, and you moan loudly. You spread your legs wider for Pete to see, and he curses at the sight. “Yeah, that’s it. Take that dick like the stupid little slut you are,” he growls, pumping his cock with more fervour.

Once you adjust to it, you begin to fuck yourself with the dildo. The fake ridges and veins stroke your inner walls and hit your sweet spot, and your other hand rubs at your clit. Pete matches your pace and talks you through the entire thing, urging you to come when he realizes you’re close.

“Yeah, that’s it. Make a mess on that dick, you dumb baby. Pretend it’s Daddy’s and soak it,” he demands, and you cry out loudly. Once your climax hits, you try your hardest to keep your legs open. You soak the dildo in your juices, and your eyes squeeze shut. The pleasure is euphoric—practically overwhelming as your chest rises and falls rapidly.

You ride your orgasm out, thanking Pete for letting you come. He reaches his own orgasm, ropes of cum spurting on the tip and landing on his hand and the surface in front of him.

As you both pant, with satisfactory smiles, Pete sends you another payment. This one is much smaller, but you take it in gratitude. “Use that to buy a bigger toy, princess. We gotta get you trained for when I fuck you,” he says, and you laugh at his words.

“Okay, Daddy,” you promise, wincing as you pull the dildo out of your cunt. “I mean it. I’m gonna take you everywhere in your little apartment. On that couch, in the kitchen, on the balcony. We’ll have so much fun,” Pete continues, and your smile falters.

“Oh, and when you use your showerhead, turn the pressure up. You’ll come much quicker that way,” he tells you with a wink, and you remember your actions from this morning and almost every other time you’ve taken a shower.

You stare at the computer in horror and watch as he turns his camera to the window, where you can see your building across the way. He turns it back and winks at you before shutting the session down, leaving you richer and more scared than ever.

#sabs concepts #pete brenner #pain hustlers #pete brenner x reader #pete brenner smut #pete brenner x you #pete brenner fanfiction #pete brenner x female reader #dark!pete brenner #dark pete brenner #dark!pete brenner x reader #dark!#chris evans #drabble #smut #lemon #request #sab’s dark concepts (2023)

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puppy-phum · 23 days ago

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Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 6: Pete & Way

King of Diamonds: A person with great wealth and power. Often skilled in various areas, a jack of all trades. Ten of Spades: A card of misfortune and tragic endings. Reveals secrets, obsessions, and lies.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 6 prompts: pete & way

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

pete and way are the last pair in this series and i have to say that it feels fitting. they are the pair with no ending, the pair left the most incomplete in season 1. way dies for redemption (which is stupid imo) before he's able to ever open up to pete and his attempts to get closer to way. pete is only left with a grave, yet nothing seems to end. (pls s2 come quicker, i need way to have his glorious back from the dead -moment already!)

pete: just like alan, i think pete's card is very obvious and so, very cliché. he's the king of diamonds through and through, the person often associated with money and power. he's very proud of what he's accomplished in life, yet always thrives to be more, to be bigger, better, more powerful. he's in a war against his adoptive father in the only way he knows how, and so he must always be on the rise. he has no chance of letting loose, and i think we all can agree that he works way too much and rests too little. he is often stuck being not quite himself, lonely at the top. it must be hard when we can see that beneath the business persona, pete is horribly warm.

this is why king of diamonds is also described as charitable, generous, and reliable. once again, pete is a lot like alan, but where alan offers his heart, pete offers resources: money, connections, and his skills. he's tried his best to become invincible in every way just like his adoptive father seems to be. he's great in socializing, in doing business, even in combat and tactics. he's driven by his wish to help, and i guess that often ties to his compassion and understanding. that's why he hasn't given up on kenta and that's why he instantly reaches out for way, too. pete might not be able to provide a family in the way alan does, but pete is able to reach out a helping hand. he can offer a place to stay for those who have nowhere else to go and no one else to listen to them. he cares, and just like with work, it's sometimes too much. he does not get a break from it.

way: it was easy to decide that spades was way's suit; a little later, i decided on number ten. i was first thinking about ace of spades bc it's the death card of the deck, but i did not want to make way only about his death when it's the thing i dislike about his character so much. so, i decided on ten bc of the "tragic ending", which is not way's death, even if it kind of is. i think the true tragic ending comes for him earlier; with the reveal of his betrayal that causes him to lose everything he's ever had. he loses his pack, his family, his home; he loses himself, and all his self-worth, and worst of all, babe. bc he does love babe, even if it's in all the wrong ways. way has tried his best, has tried to do what he thought was right, and in the end, it is not enough to solve anything or save babe. (and so he must die, but let's ignore that.)

in a sense, the reveal of that betrayal is both the end and a beginning for way. after it's it's a way for him to be born again. he can give up on all the lies, all the acting and pretending. he's used so much time and effort keeping up his web of lies he must be exhausted by now. how many times did he almost trip? how many times did he forget what lies he'd told and had to come up with new ones, or had to use his powers to fix his mistakes? now, there's no longer need for any of that. he can finally breathe freely. no more lies, no more acting, no more being someone else. everything is out in the open and it must be terrifying bc the ppl who loved him before, would they reject this real version of him? even if they were not this hurt, didn't hate him, would they still not want way? what if tony is right and there's nothing to love about him? i don't know but i hate that the series never let way find out. but well, in season 2 we trust, i suppose. i have hopes and dreams about it <3

but based on these thoughts, it's easy to see why pete and way would work together. way is the master of deception, of lies and acting. pete is able to read people, literally and figuratively. there's no hiding from him and his touch, and i think in some ways, way needs exactly that. he needs someone to understand him without words, or to look into his head and put his thoughts into words for him. pete again needs someone he can trust with his softer side, which i also find interesting about him: he is so ready to offer his heart to way even after knowing who way is and what his powers can do. pete seems like a paradox in that sense, always keeping everyone and everything at a distance (or so i assume), yet being so ready to believe in ppl and offer them trust he's seen so easily broken.

there are also some other interesting connections to this pair i wanted to mention. the funniest coincidence imo is that babe's card is about new beginnings, while way's card is now about tragic or bad endings. also, charlie's card being the exact half of way's (5 and 10) seems to have some kind of story behind it. pete again has the same suit as kenta, both their cards in the royal family, and i think that's exactly why they work and don't work together. pete is exactly like the king, the one on top and in control, while kenta is the knight, the person who serves and follows. they're both calm in personality, tho am not sure if it's exactly who they are or if it's who they were forced to become. i wonder what could've been if kenta had left with pete – or if they'd never been taken by tony at all and had grown up like other kids.

this edit concludes my musings for all these characters. it's been a joy to make these and ponder on these boys, and honestly, i feel like i've found a completely new love and appreciation for all of them. thank you for all who have liked these edits and happy anniversary to the vroom vroom omegaverse bl, you've been stellar ♥ never thought i'd come back to you in a year but here we are, have my whole heart!

(idk if i'll make an edit for the last week, so also adding that i enjoyed the event a ton! it's been fun going to the tag and seeing everybody talk about the series again. looking forward to s2 and the anniversary stage live in less than two weeks ^^)

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chlobliviate · 3 months ago

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Wolfstar Microfics - Bronze

words: 785

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

It was the summer before sixth year, Sirius was finally living with the Potters and everything was looking up. His nightmares were less frequent, he was sleeping more and eating an amount fit for a teenage boy. Effie was trying to teach him to cook and some of it was going in. It really seemed like the perfect summer.

Until Remus returned from France, Lyall Lupin had ministry work in Marseille for almost five weeks, meaning that Sirius hadn’t seen Remus in over a month. He did notice that he didn’t care as much about not seeing Pete for over a month but shrugged it off as a canine camaraderie thing.

When Remus popped out of the grand fireplace in the drawing room, Sirius was speechless. Remus, with his sandy hair and his pink cheeks, was now all shades of bronze. He had freckles.

James seemed to sense that they’d be getting no sense out of Sirius for a little while, “Fuck, Moony. You’re all… Did you just lie under the sun the whole time?”

“Reading in the sun is the best way to spend a summer.” Remus looked curiously at Sirius. “Maybe not if you’re as pale as you, Pads. You’d just burn.”

“He’d go a glorious pink!” James said proudly. “Want a cuppa?”

“Yeah, I’d love one. Thanks, Prongs.” Remus dropped his bag onto the floor by the sofa as James bustled off to make the tea. “Pete not here yet?”

Sirius shook his head trying to tear his eyes away from Remus’ face, “Nah, he’s getting here about six. His mum has a thing or something.”

Remus nodded, “How’s your summer been? Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

“Honestly, best summer ever.” Sirius finally relaxed, “I still don’t feel like it’s real. I keep expecting to wake up back at Grimmauld Place.”

“You never need to wake up there again,” Remus said softly, and Sirius smiled at him. “Thanks for writing to me, by the way. Not that being in Marseilles wasn’t great, but Dad had work and then with Mum having to go back and care for Nana, it was lonely.”

“Oh, no problem. Thanks for writing back. Hope it didn’t interrupt your tanning sessions.”

“Do I really look that different?” Remus chewed on the side of his lip.

“You’re all… bronze. Your hair, your face. It’s wild. Your scars being paler than your skin is weird. In a good way!” He added hastily, “It suits you.”

“Well, thanks.” Remus could feel his face growing even darker. “It’s a shame we’re about to go back to Scottish Autumn.”

“You could find one of those muggle squirty tans.”

Remus chuckled, “Nah, I don’t think that’s for me. I’ll just fade back to pale Remus and it’ll be like it never happened.”

Sirius tried to understand why he didn’t like that thought. He liked this new confident, smiling Remus. Would that also fade with the tan? Or was that just a consequence of spending several weeks alone in France? The thought that maybe he’d met a nice French girl made his stomach churn. It would explain a lot about the way Remus carried himself now.

James came back with a tea tray. “Mum and Dad are out tonight, but Mum made us dinner before she left so we won’t starve.”

“Hey, I can cook now!” Sirius snapped, to Remus’ surprise.

“Making pasta bake and egg fried rice is not the same as being able to cook.” James sighed.

“But it’s more than you can do, Prongs.” Remus smiled at Sirius. “And you’ve lived with your mum for sixteen and a half years.”

“Ugh, I should have known you pair of dogs would start ganging up on me within minutes of getting here.” James poured the tea into three mugs carefully. “Just wait until Lily starts spending time with us, then I’ll have someone on my side.”

“Firstly, you wish, and secondly, bold of you to assume she wouldn’t side with Moony.” Sirius gestured at him, “Especially when he looks like this!”

James gave him a strange look before turning back to Remus, “How were the French girls?” He waggled his eyebrows, “Any French stories to tell?”

Remus said nothing, but a smile teased at one corner of his mouth, and Sirius suddenly panicked. He picked up his mug and took a sip, even though it was way too hot. “Don’t hassle the man, James. Just because you’re not getting any!”

“Oh, because you are?” James said, at the same time Remus nodded at him in silent thanks. “Honestly, Moony, can you teach Sirius to be better at silencing charms while you’re here?”

Sirius choked on his tea.

#fanfic #wolfstar #ao3 #fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #marauders #remus loves sirius #wolfstar microfic #wolfstar fic #wolfstar fanfiction

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earlgreytea68 · 17 days ago

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its just one of those days where ive had coffees for closers on repeat

sighhhh

have u ever done an analysis of the song? if not what r ur thoughts?? hope ur having a good day btw xx

Ugh, this song is such a gutpunch. I've talked about it briefly in the context of how it reworks lines from Pete's poem "to you (unfinished, off the top of my head)" in THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE:

He does the same thing with the lyrics he borrows for (coffee’s for closers). Pete’s poem sets the tone for fairy-tale storytelling right at the beginning: “It all started with some friends and a van, a kick drum inside my ribs, preaching electric into a microphone stand.” These beginning images are fond: holding up red cups at house parties, falling asleep together on the grass during festivals, laughing. But Patrick carves those lines out and brackets them with “I will never believe in anything again, we will never believe again.” What an answer to this poem out of Patrick: to take those words and slap them between endless proclamations of not falling for that fairy tale again. Even worse, he tops it off with a rewrite of the “read the charts” line: the poem reads “you can get lonely when u only read the charts.” This feels like more on the theme of “you can get everything you want [but it’s never enough], but it won’t actually make you happy.” You can read the charts, and FOB would be on top of them, but it’s lonely up there, and you need more than that. But the line in (coffee’s for closers) goes: “Only get lonely when you read the charts.” The movement of that “only” shifts the line for me. There are a bunch of ways to read it, but for me it reads like: “You only get lonely when you remember you’re in a band. You’re so busy running around being the life of the party, you’re never, ever lonely unless you’re paying attention to your band.”

The thing is, I consider that poem a fond and wistful love poem from Pete to Patrick, trying to reach across a great chasm, and at first the pain of it is how Patrick initially writes songs that take those lines and rejects them, twists them, spits them back out. Eventually he doesn't. Eventually he soothes the lines back into answering love songs. But in the beginning, he writes songs that are fiery rejections of the mood of this poem, and (coffee's for closers) is one of them. Pete's poem reads all us believers still believe. Patrick in this song writes, over and over and over again, slamming it home, I will never believe again. Take that, Pete Wentz! Never! Again!

To me it's just a brutal song about hating how everything turned out but not seeing a way out of it (I want everything to change and stay the same). The Genius annotation says throw your cameras in the air is about how people always film concerts these days, but I think that's wrong. I mean, maybe, although the song was written in 2008 when cell phone taping was still a fairly new phenomenon. But I think this line is really a rumination on fame, on feeling like everywhere you look there are cameras in your face, and it's not about concerts, it's about your life. Girls used to follow you around...until you got cold, and you were no longer the current big thing, and then it's lonely there in the spotlight, where no one's having a good time, the hands they wave in the air are all cameras pointed at you, hoping to catch the next mistake, and everything that was supposed to be good and great, all those pretty promises Pete Wentz made back in the summer fest days when you fell asleep on the grass turned into this. You've become something I don't even recognize, and I'm just your mascot, some laughable gimmick everyone makes fun of, and you love the mayhem more than the love that was all around you, you threw all that love away like you didn't even want it, and I will never believe in anything again. Change will come, and nothing good is going to come of that, either, because you don't like things the way they are but you know that changing them isn't going to turn out well, either.

This song is just so much. It's so angrily hiatus. It's such a demonstration of how much they had broken down around each other.

But it's okay. Because on the other side of it, eventually, Patrick takes this same poem and makes it into "Favorite Record," so it turns out all right in the end. Happily ever after (below the waist)

#fall out boy #fob #peterick

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batsplat · 11 days ago

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sampras tops generous agassi is insane LMAO. thank you for that lovely pt. 2 to the sampras/agassi rivalry essay!!!!!! i showed my friend your first post and she said, of agassi's biography quotes (specifically the "pete, always pete" motif): "OK THATS INSANE.... whys he writing like this is the song of Achilles or something. i could recognize him by touch alone core" andlksjfd and i found it very apt

please it's no trouble, I LOVE talking about them. and yes!! yes!! I LOVE how poetic about this stuff agassi is, how he really just like... gets the narrative appeal of sports, how he's so singularly capable of putting words to it. and how he talks about sampras! where he knows they're both alike in some fundamental ways, that there's something they've shared with each other that can never be erased... that sampras will always be part of his story, inescapable, inevitable. as always, pete. but also this fundamental feeling of separation. of alienation. of not being able to breach that divide

which is a PERFECT excuse to bring in perhaps my favourite interview agassi ever did, courtesy of der spiegel around the time of the release of the autobiography. it's quite extensive and the whole thing is very much worth a read. unsurprisingly given that it's a german magazine, a lot of attention is paid to agassi's relationship with steffi graf - and those bits are particularly sweet and sad

SPIEGEL: Both of you were drilled by fathers who wanted to control everything. Agassi: What is right is that both of us were in our fathers' hands. I told a lot of people that I hated tennis -- seriously and strongly hated it -- and they all tried to talk me out of it: "Ah, that is not right, Andre; in fact you love tennis, don't you?" Do you want to know what Stefanie said: "Don't we all?"

god.

there's also a fair bit about agassi's relationship with his father, so fair warning that those parts are all quite heavy. AND it's also very interesting on the actual writing process for the autobiography and how agassi's collaboration with moehringer came about. plus it takes some fun swings at chang and courier, for old time's sake. but to turn back to sampras, there's just something so striking about how agassi describes what it felt like playing tennis -

SPIEGEL: Mr. Agassi, is it possible for a happy person to win Wimbledon? Andre Agassi: For me, it's hard to imagine. SPIEGEL: Roger Federer seems to actually enjoy playing. Agassi: Yes, maybe. But, in my world, this is impossible. The maximum were short moments of peace during a match which we, the players, used to call "the Zone." But you couldn't plan it. It was never constant. And it went by very fast. SPIEGEL: Does a tennis professional have to be obsessed? Must there be some kind of trauma for him or her to be good? Agassi: While I was winning Wimbledon, I felt like I would die. I feared to fail; I feared embarrassment.

- and then later in the interview gives his thoughts on sampras -

SPIEGEL: For years, the rivalry between you and Pete Sampras was magical to a worldwide audience. Is there still a connection between the two of you? Agassi: There is a lot of respect. I believe that, without Pete, I would have won more and learned less. SPIEGEL: He appears to have been as driven as you were. He had to sleep in ice-cold rooms in total darkness. Was he obsessed or traumatized, as well? Agassi: We were all driven. And, of course, there is something strange about tennis: Egocentric and narcissistic behavior can win; torture and the isolation of players may lead you to the top. Pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. But we were lonely. If there was not the net separating us, there was a wall.

and... yeah. "if there was not the net separating us, there was a wall". nyhhhhh this idea that to be a good tennis player, you need to embrace the worst aspects of yourself, that you need to make yourself suffer... egocentric, narcissistic - a sport of the tortured and the isolated... pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. but we were lonely........ god. GOD. what more is there even to say!!

which is really agassi's gift, isn't it... putting words to the dark underbelly of the sport that everyone who's spent enough time in that world is aware of - but may never be forced to confront. tennis is hell, it can be one of the loneliest experiences imaginable - and so much of agassi's story is about attempting to stave off that fundamental horror. surrounding himself by as many people as possible, trying to live a real and full and loud life... because whenever he stepped on court he had to face The Horror once again. rivals who can share a life and a fate but can never truly understand each other, a net dividing the players that might as well be a wall... as always, pete - and as always, alone

#average agassi interview includes like half a dozen moments where i feel like someone's punched me in the face #but yeah this one's REALLY good and punchy. interviewer who's clearly done his homework and is prepared to be quite bold in his questioning #//#batsplat responds #racquet tag #challengerers #says he does NOT respect chang and courier lol like TO BE CLEAR he's not in the 'you've always got to respect your rivals' camp

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gd-dollopole · 1 month ago

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I cannot stop thinking about the comparison between BBC Merlin and Smallville.

As the directors of BBC Merlin have said, an inspiration has been taken from the ten long seasons of Smallville, an US TV show I always loved, and literally grew up with, and since a few months back, I also made a re-watch of Smallville, I can’t stop thinking about the potential BBC Merlin could have had, if it actually followed some bits of the storyline of Smallville.

We can already see some of the similarities between the shows:

Merlin wears a red neckerchief with a blue tunic and viceversa, like Clark Kent, and whenever he’s hopeless or sad or angry, he wears worn out grey colours, and as an avid fan of Smallville, I can assure you that Clark Kent wears the same things;

Clark Kent has to hide his powers in a world that would hurt him, kill him, or experiment on him, if he let on his deepest secret, and for that, he not only loses the people he cares about the most, much like Merlin does, which are his father, his friends, his lovers, and almost even his mother, but forbids himself to fall in love, and therefore pursue any kind of relationship;

he’s witty, yes, like Merlin, but also shy and brave and lonely.

But the difference between Smallville and Merlin is that in Smallville, there is the closure I would have liked to see in Merlin:

Clark kent does hide his secrets, and he is good at it, until everyone else finds out about him, all on their own.

We’re talking about everyone (maybe because Clark/Merlin are not as sly as they think):

Lex and Lionel and Luthessa Luthor, Lana Leng, Chloe Sullivan, Pete Ross, Oliver Queen and so many others, either because they already had their suspicions or because someone else showed them.

And this brings the right amount of angst in the show, mixed with the betrayal and the lies and the secrets and the love triangles and the tropes that come out of them.

But where is Arthur in this picture?

Oh, this is the good bit.

For very obvious reasons, apart from the fact that he doesn’t talk as much as her, Arthur is definitely Lois Lane.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON, SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T WATCHED SMALLVILLE:

Lois Lane makes her appearance as a main character in the later seasons, after Clark understands that he has officially lost Lana, and starts working at the Daily Planet, in the same office as Lois.

But, unlike Arthur, Lois loves Superman (or The Blur, as he’s called for the entire ten seasons of Smallville, because he’s always caught on camera, but just as a blur). She talks to him in secret, and Clark masks his voice through the phone, he helps her and she helps him, he saves her innumerable times (does this remind you of anything?), and each time Lois compliments The Blur, Clark gets angry, because it’s his alter ego who gets the praise for a job well done, and not him, the clumsy idiot of the Daily Planet, much like everyone else in Merlin’s life has always got the credit for saving Arthur’s life, instead of him.

But what they should have given us in Merlin is what they gave us in Smallville, and it would have honestly made for the biggest magic reveal:

once Clark needs to fend off another enemy of the year, and thinks he’s going to officially die, he goes to say goodbye to his friends and his most loved ones, Lois included (“I’m happy to be your servant, until the day I die”).

Although, unlike in Merlin, where Arthur is a sweet himbo, who doesn’t inspect, and who doesn’t suspect anything, Lois had her suspicions, given that she and Clark had not only started falling in love, but now worked together too, and since she cared a whole lot about him, she follows Clark.

In the Smallville TV show, Lois hides behind a building from where, minutes later, Clark falls from. Lois believes he’s dead (Clark is immortal, and this begs the questions again: does he remind you of anyone?), and notices that he’s been stabbed in the chest with a blue crystal (context: the blue kryptonite removes Clark’s powers, and renders him human, and therefore mortal, unless the kryptonite, much like the green one, gets away from him). Following her guts, and sad and desperate that the man she loves the most might die, and believing in her suspicions and instinct, Lois pulls the crystal from Clark’s body, but the moment she hears some clutter, probably thinking they’re the enemies, she runs away, and goes back hiding.

And there, she sees him.

Clark grunts, gets up, completely safe ad healthy, sees that the crystal may have fallen by itself, or simply disappeared (and actually asks himself how that could have happened) and runs away:

by using his super fast power.

And Lois sees him.

Now, what could have been perfect was, if Arthur did the same.

After an attack gone wrong in the woods and losing sight of Merlin, he goes searching for the idiot, yelling something very along the lines of, “Where’s that useless buffoon?”, when he’s actually worried sick, and finds Merlin stabbed in the middle of a clearing.

Now, Arthur despises magic. He loathes it, he doesn’t trust it, yet, bless him, he still tries to understand it. This could have happened after Uther’s death, the moment Arthur’s reign begins.

He watches Merlin.

Arthur’s alone and shocked and scared and sick, so he drops to his knees next to him. He does not cry, he does not scream, he does not faint, that’s not really him at the end of the day, right? (Lois is the same. She grew up in a strict household with a strict solider father, and has lost her mother, and she had to be the parent to her older sister… Very, very much like Arthur). Or that’s what he thinks, and out of pure desperation, and something that sounds a bit like love, just like Lois Lane, since Merlin flinches, when he should be dead, for goodness’ sake, and out of instics and probably destiny, Arthur pulls whatever has stabbed Merlin out of his abdomen.

But as soon as he does, and as soon as he hears the knights coming close to him, and not to alarm anyone, and because he does not want them to see him in this sort of shocked state, Arthur hides behind a tree.

And there, he watches as Merlin, half dead and half alive, calls for Kilgharrah.

And Arthur has the same reaction of the finale.

He does not act on what he just discoveres.

At first, he’s sceptical, once Merlin comes back like he always does (and now he knows why and how), so he avoids him, he makes awful jokes, or hints about magic and about how powerful and dangerous it can be.

But once he’s sort of gone over this phase, noticing that Merlin hasn’t done anything with his big powers, like showing him off or anything of the likes (because Arthur has always known, magic or not, that Merlin would have never hurt him or Camelot), Arthur becomes… Curious.

And here comes the part that aligns with Smallville (we can also add the sexuality/gender identity/coming out metaphor):

much like in Smallville, and with magic and superpowers, and like in real life, someone does not force this information out of people, but Arthur, like Lois, is dying of curiosity, and just wants Merlin/Clark to trust him/her and tell him/her his secret, because he/she already knows of it.

So Arthur starts doing what Lois did.

The day after everything is well, and Lois now certainly knows about Clark’s superpowers, and the fact that he is The Blur, she goes to work, until Clark arrives too, and tells her that he must be quick for something, and needs some documents for a research. Lois stalls, and pretends she’s being SUDDENLY clumsy and a bit of an idiot (this would go perfectly well with Arthur, because he is an idiot, and he is also smitten with Merlin), and let her pen fall under the desk, to see what Clark would do.

And he uses his powers.

So imagine a wild Arthur in his natural habitat (his chambers), bored like no one else, and on the verge of imploding, because his manservant and best friend and love of his life he’s being stubborn and an oaf and an idiot and a toad.

He lets the apples or the sword or the belt fall under the table, pretends he’s keen to an act of kindness, and picks up the items himself, instead of letting Merlin do it, while he instructs said servant to do something else in the meantime.

Shocked at first, but following through with the orders, Merlin does as he’s being told, after throwing several sceptical looks at his prat of a king, and as soon as Arthur gets up from his crouched down position on the floor, the bed is already done, and the clothes are already folded, and Arthur goes mad, because, oh, he was right, and what else can Merlin do?

The curiosity gets him as much as his developing feelings for the cretin, with apparently super magical powers, who could also break a neck with a flick of his eyes, if he wanted to, and Arthur starts pretending to be even more of an idiot to see more magic, without Merlin knowing that he’s actually showing Arthur his abilities.

And the best part of it all?

The magic reveal.

I love Smallville, because the way Clark confesses his secret to Lois isn’t anything grand or majestic.

Yes, Clark does take Lois flying; yes, he also shags the living brains out of her, IN THEIR FARMS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE (I must do this again but, does this remind you of ANYONE/ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR?), but he’s just built and hot and intelligent, but also very, very shy and a bit silly.

That’s why I love Clark the most as the best version of Superman, and Merlin as the best version of the famous wizard.

So Clark calls Lois to meet him in one of the Daily Planets departments, where documents and papers are stashed and kept there, on the last floor of the building, and where no one ever goes, and he fidgets a bit with his fingers, and he stammers a lot, and Lois is about to lose it, because still, after all these years, and our love? And how can Clark not tell me? Does he not trust me? Does he not want me like I want him? And all these emotions are well encompassed on her face, because Clark fails to tell her, and he says that he’s sorry, he can’t lose her, he can’t take that risk, he has lost so many loved ones already, and what does Lois do?

She understands, because she loves Clark, and she does not want to force him.

She gulps her tears, she miles brokenly, she nods, she tells Clark that it’s fine, but when she’s about to turn on the elevator, Clark realises that the love of his life is about to slip away from his fingers, and just blurts his secret out like a bloody moron.

Much like Merlin would do.

“I’m The Blur.”, he says, and Lois smiles, she turns around, and she runs to him, and literally jumps him, until they both fall back together, and laugh and stutter out their words and yes… They end up snogging.

Now, I want you to imagine a wild Arthur standing on one of the towers or balconies in the Camelot castle, while Merlin is being the usual insecure, oblivious man Arthur’s known for over ten years, and he turns around at the confession, and he runs to Merlin, and he pulls him to him, and while in this version, Arthur gives Merlin a concussion, as he hits the stone floor (because they are romantic, but also more stupid than Lois and Clark, since they’re, you know, a bloody gay disaster), he snogs the shit out of him too, and they start working together, and getting rid of the enemies together, and form a bond that is even deeper than the one they had before already, and Arthur meets Hunith’s mother as someone else entirely, while the chaos ensue, and so do the messy feelings:

like it happened in Smallville, but did not, because Lord forbid the gays, happened in BBC Merlin.

The knights of The Round table are the other DC superheros, and Guinevere could either be a superhero of her own or the wise and smart counsellor, who would be the journalist in Smallville, and Morgana is still Arthur’ sister, good or evil, it does not matter (she could either be after Merlin or after him, the options are innumerable).

Morgana is basically the obnoxious sister Lois’ has always had, who even gets a fake crush on Clark/Merlin to manipulate the two (these TV shows are too similar, I swear).

But I’m not done.

Oh, no, I’m not.

Because imagine all of this, imagine Smallville, but as a literal crossover with Merlin:

a fanfic where Merlin is the apparent imbecile employee at the Daily Planet, who actually has so many super powers, and he’s invincible, and his boss is Arthur Prat Pendragon, who is sceptical of superheroes, and his father Uther haunts them down, and is the owner of said Daily Planet, and loathes Merlin, because he talks about superheroes in his newspapers, and about his dad, because sodding fucking hell, he could control dragons.

Imagine the mess as these two fall in love, even if Merlin thinks he hates the rich, twat boss, whose order he has to follow, while Arthur treats him like a servant, rather than a journalist; Gwen could be either Chloe or Lana Leng, the best friend or the past lover, and Lancelot becomes Guinevere’s Jimmy or Oliver Queen, and Pete Ross is Will for Merlin, and Uther, is still the mad man they have to defy.

Merlin could have had so much potential, and a plethora of ways to have the magic reveal happen, and yet it was not used, and yes, if you didn’t notice, I’m still so mad over it.

I cannot fathom the amount of happiness I would have felt if they actually merged two of my favourite TV shows ever together, a good crossover between Smallville and the Arthuriana, in this case, BBC Merlin in particular.

#i also read a lot of superheroes fanfictions and i don’t even know if anyone has ever used smallville?#because we have all the material #even the colours and the scripts and THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS #because lois and clark bickers as much as merlin and arthur #ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE BASICALLY THE GAY AND MEDIAVEL BRITISH VERSION OF LOIS AND CLARK #come on nowwww!!!#if anyone has fic recs like this👀#i mean i wouldn’t be too displeased👀#i might end up writing one myself once i’ll be done with the other 2748 fics i need to finish #BUT STILL #oh the potential #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin fanfic #smallville #lois and clark #ao3 fanfic #this also reinforces my theory that if arthur and merlin had been a man and a woman #then no one would have denied the romantic undertones #it’s basically there #and if the couple was heterosexual #we would have seen them together ROMANTICALLY #lmao everyone #if i made this mess and the directors have taken inspirations from smallville #IMAGINE A CROSSOVER WITH SHREK #I’M DYINGGG #they also took inspiration from THAT animation movies so there’s that

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tgmsunmontue · 4 months ago

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Saga of Solitude 8/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006)

CHAPTER EIGHT (2007)

He’s heard all the rumors about how difficult night landings are at sea, how many people just hate them. How the pitching of the deck can make it an even more impossible task. He knows he’s going to have to perfect them, so he makes it the topic of conversation of his first Saturday afternoon phone call, listens as both Ice and Mav offer multiple different pieces of advice, some of it conflicting, so he disregards it. When they both suggest the same things though, that’s when he knows he’s onto a winner. Technology has changed and improved, but the tips they give him mean he can add it to his arsenal of knowledge. Of course they’ve been taught how to do it all in theory, done it in simulators, however he’s not going to be an idiot and ignore the fact he has access to resources others don’t. People who have been pilots longer than he’s been alive.

“Nice landings tonight Bradshaw, obviously paid attention when it was taught.”

“Yes sir, thank you sir,” Bradley agrees with an easy smile, because that’s all he can do.

The days and nights at sea become monotonous, but the flying never does. He loves it every single time he’s up in the air and he gets why Maverick is working so hard to stay flying. He’d want to do the same.

… … …

He hears about the attack on the Bagram Air Base, mutterings over breakfast in the mess and he’s never pulled the card that he’s about to pull. But he has to. Needs to know. He goes and finds his CO, asks if he knows the names of the casualties, forces himself to remain calm until he has all the information. He explains that Captain Pete Mitchell is his adoptive father, that he lost his birth father in a training hop while he was at Top Gun and he’d really appreciate it if he’s allowed to make a phone call. His CO is looking at him, eyebrows raised, but like some things suddenly make sense and he’s nodding, directing Bradley to his own quarters, where he leaves him alone, telling him he has fifteen minutes.

His hands shake as he picks up the phone, knuckles white on the cord where it hangs. There’s been rumor after rumor, and he can’t substantiate any of it. He doesn’t know who his CO thinks he’s calling, maybe Bagram, but Bradley knows better. They’ll be far too busy right now to pick up the phone. However there will be people who know what’s going on, people like Ice. Bradley didn’t need to name drop him, not yet, but also if Ice doesn’t know, he’ll be finding out and letting Bradley know as soon as he can. He stands there nervously as the seconds tick by and the phone isn’t answered.

Then.

“Admiral Kazansky.”

“Ice…” he doesn’t need to say anything else, can hear the wavering of his voice, is glad he’s alone and there are no witnesses.

“Bradley.”

“Is… do you know anything?”

“Yes. He’s alive. He wasn’t anywhere nearby.”

Just like that the knot in his stomach dissipates. He feels awful that other people died, but he doesn’t know them like he knows Mav.

“Thank you sir.”

“You don’t need to call me sir, Bradley.”

“Uh. I’m in uniform. I kind of feel like I do.”

Ice makes an amused huff then, and Bradley wants to ask him how he does this, deals with Mav away on active duty, he feels… sick with worry. He remembers Mav using a similar turn of phrase when he was talking about not knowing where Bradley was and oh, this is what it feels like to just… worry about someone constantly. Before, when he’d been younger, despite everything, Mav had been this constant in his life, so alive and vibrant and even with losing both his parents he’d never thought anything could happen to Mav. Now he knows better. Now he’s undergone the training and knows the statistics and just how easily things can go wrong.

“Bradley. Listen to me.”

“Yeah. I’m listening.”

“Take the worry you’re feeling and turn it into ensuring you do everything you can to keep yourself safe. Always do your pre-flight checks. Always go to medical. Listen to your doctor and follow their instructions. You have a lot of people all feeling that same worry about you, so you just need to take a breath and trust yourself. Like we trust you to do everything in your power to come back to us after every deployment.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Okay. Love you kid. I’ll get a message to you if anything changes, and you know Mav will want his Saturday phone call.”

After he’s hung-up he realizes that Ice must feel that way about him and he carries it with him for the rest of his deployment.

… … …

He shakes hands with so many people he almost loses track, except he doesn’t, not really. He mentally categorizes them all, writes it all carefully in a notebook in his own special shorthand and files it away. He’s glad that all the hard work and planning on organizing such an exercise has finally come to fruition. The fact that Bradley is up there taking part gives him a separate feeling of pride, seeing him fly and also knowing that Maverick is safely back in Corpus Christi for some upskilling on helicopters and not here. He doesn’t have to worry about him accidentally causing an international incident is something of a relief.

He gets promoted, he doesn’t look at Dawkinson with smugness at the ceremony, he’s too professional for that, but it doesn’t stop him feeling it. Sarah and the girls are there, Melissa coming as Maverick’s date. That’s amusing for other reasons, because most people can’t understand why she’s come with Maverick, like he’s not an attractive man in his forties. She plays the part of his date to perfection, a career woman who keeps Maverick around for the great sex but doesn’t miss him when he’s deployed. All true for him as well, except he misses Mav every day he’s not there.

With the promotion comes his own secretary, or assistant, or whatever it is they’re calling them now. A no-nonsense woman called Aubrey who seems to know more about Naval regulations and the ins-and-outs of some of the processes than he does. He asks if she can keep tabs on Bradley Bradshaw and alert him to anything potentially problematic or worrying and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Your son, sir?”

“No. Like a son though. I have two daughters and they both call Bradley their big brother. Growing up he lived with my wife and I when his adoptive father was deployed.”

“Family is what you make it, sir.”

“I agree with you there. And you can drop the sir.”

The look she gives him tells him in no uncertain terms that she will not, in fact, be dropping the honorific.

He nods in acceptance.

He knows when to accept defeat.

… … …

When he gets off the carrier in North Island he can see Tamsin and Petra running at him, hear their high pitched screams and he drops his duffle, sweeps them both into his arms and hugs them tight. It’s their summer holidays now, and he’s got weeks of leave to spend with them, cannot wait. Ice has insisted he take some time for himself though, but he’s looking at Tamsin and Petra and he can’t believe they’re eleven and nine now. Theoretically he gets birthdays, he gets time passing, but understanding that time passes and they continue to grow while he’s not looking is a scary.

It does force him into action about some things though. Thinking about his own mortality is a little morbid, but unlike other guys his age he actually has property and money left to him by his parents and he ends up sitting down with Ice and Mav and creating a will. Mav is his emergency contact, he’s legally Bradley’s father after the adoption, and he learns Mav walks around with a copy of the certificate, mumbles about if he ever needs to prove he’s family and Bradley gets it. He’s also surprised to find out that since he turned twenty-one he is listed as Mav’s emergency contact after Ice. It fills him with relief, knowing that he’ll be contacted as soon as possible if something ever happens. While he’s there he makes Ice his power of attorney, gives Melissa his medical power of attorney and names the girls in his will. None of them look great when they leave the lawyers and when they go home and Ice pours out three separate measures of whisky, he accepts it quietly.

“You remember what I said and I hope that we never have to use any of the documentation,” Ice says, studying him over the rim of the glass.

“What did you say to him?” Mav asks, looking between them and just like that the sad tension is broken and he shares a smile with Ice, suddenly feeling so much older.

… … …

The sky is hazy with the smoke from the wildfires, and he watches the news with a grim face. He helps prepare grab-bags and emergency supplies, not that they’re in any direct danger but fire is unpredictable and as he points out it’s not just a fire that can cause an emergency. There’s earthquakes and tsunamis and storms. Preparing them, all three houses, for a natural disaster makes him feel less anxious about what might happen when he’s away. He walks Melissa and Sarah through different emergency plans, knows they’re likely humoring him. The tight hug he gets, and then the kiss to his forehead he gets, which he has to bend down to allow Sarah to place, makes him think that maybe he wasn’t just being humored.

He takes the girls to visit Ice in his office and meets Aubrey Smythe, Ice’s personal assistant, a sharp-eyed woman who immediately softens when she realizes exactly who they all are and who they’re there to see. He’d had to take them all through security of course, but had asked to try and make it as much of a surprise as possible, having gotten Ice to share his schedule so he could do this at some point.

“Go right on in, he needs to take a break and he’s not on the phone right now.”

Bradley grins, bright and easy, knocks on door and doesn’t wait before pushing it open to let Tamsin and Petra run in.

“Can I get you something to drink Lieutenant?”

“No! You don’t need to get me anything, I can get it myself…”

“I’m going to get the Admiral his afternoon cup of coffee. I am happy to get you one as well. Especially if you ensure he actually stops and eats his lunch.”

“Oh, yeah, okay. I can do that. Thank you very much.”

“My pleasure.”

He steps in to find Tamsin and Petra both trying to climb into Ice’s lap at the same time, while Ice looks quietly pleased. He hasn’t been in Ice’s new office since he got promoted. He knows his next promotion is likely going to mean moving, that they’ve been really lucky to be stationed in one place for so long and he wonders if it’s Ice’s influence, or whether there’s something bigger at play. He knows it’s not the fact that Ice has young kids, Bradley moved around plenty growing up. He looks at the photos on Ice’s desk, there is a photo with Tamsin and Petra front and center, but he’s surprised that there’s also him on his graduation from USNA, both Ica and Mav standing either side of him. With a pang he realizes it’s the closest Ice can get to having a photo of Maverick on his desk and he wishes things were different.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, coffee for you sir.”

“You can just call me Bradley,” Bradley states, and he hears Ice snort softly behind him.

“Of course sir.”

“She refuses,” Ice says dryly and Bradley can’t help the grin.

… … …

Pete’s talking to Hollywood, hearing all about the new Boeing 787 and he cares about his friend, but he really does not care about commercial jets. The only thing he understands is the desire to still want to fly. They just don’t go fast enough for him, although even he admits he gets a rush from lots of other things in his life now. While he still loves flying and his motorbike, he gets a similar feeling when any of his kids manage something they’ve been working hard at and immediately seek him out to tell him. Tamsin and Petra mastering dives at their swimming lessons, coming up to the surface already wearing big wide grins knowing they’ve done well. Petra managing a kickflip on her skateboard for the first time. Bradley and his night landings on a carrier.

He never thought parenting would be something that he took such joy in, and he knows he’s got it easy, with Ice, Sarah and Melissa having to do a lot of the heavy-lifting. He gets to come in when he’s not deployed and be the fun uncle. Although the fact that both the girls call him Papa makes his throat tight every time. It’s a different sort of rush, that he’s helping shape and support these young people in his life to become the people they want to be. They’re doing all the work of course, but he’s on the sidelines cheering them on and ready to catch them if they need it.

… … …

“Admiral.”

Fuck. It’s never good news this early in the morning, but he knows that both Bradley and Maverick are safe on land, if anything was wrong with the girls they’re better off with Sarah and Melissa anyway, with Melissa being a doctor and two adults consistently in the house.

“There’s been an incident with variable yield nuclear warheads.”

“What?” He’s not nearly awake enough to be able to process this, but he’s waking fast, pulling on his glasses and heading to the kitchen for coffee. “Bent spear. You’re telling be there was a bent spear incident?”

“Yes. Not the Navy, however they want to bring you in as an impartial third party. Your military, but you’re not Air Force.”

He lets out a long silent breath, his heart rate calming immediately. God. He’d thought that heads were about to roll. They’ll still roll of course, but he won’t be the one directly calling the shots.

“Of course. Just tell me when and where.”

… … …

He’s deployed again, and he keeps a close eye on the news, the wildfires in Southern California holding his attention. He’s glad that he knows that everyone at home is as prepared as they can be, that they’ll let him know if something changes. During one meal all hell breaks loose, he thinks there’s going to be a riot and when he finally gets someone to tell him what the hell is happening he learns that the Navy has finally won a football game against Notre Dame. He just has to nod and smile, because he’s never been that much into football, far more interested in baseball.

CHAPTER NINE (2008)

#Saga of Solitude #IceMav #Top Gun Maverick fanfiction #that is a rough AF chapter count right there...#but these guys are fucking messy

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meganslife · 10 months ago

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Pen pals - p. parker

TASM! Peter Parker x Fem! reader

summary: peter parker is your pen pal.

warnings: none so far!!!

hello helloooo!!! i had this idea because i myself have a pen pal, and it’s honestly really fun and reminds me of peter. this will be multiple parts!! anyhoo, happy reading!

Having a pen pal was fun. It gave you something to look forward to whenever you needed to open the mailbox. It was nice, although your lovely pen pal, Peter, was on the other side of the country. You were in Seattle. He was in Queens, New York. It was a nice arrangement that you two had. No phone numbers, just handwritten letters, and cute little pictures.

When you opened your apartment mailbox and saw that you had a letter from Peter, your heart felt warm. It was the warmest you’ve felt in a while.

Y/N,

My apologies for not writing you back sooner. School is kicking my butt recently, and I moved back in with May (hence why a new address is on the envelope). My old roommate went BALLISTIC on me for little things, so I decided I needed to leave. May is a better person to have around, anyway.

The fall semester ended last week, and I wish I could say that I passed my finals. My professors are just mean, I think. I’ve been super stressed out lately, and writing this letter is helping me. You’re my savior. Also, the pictures you sent me of you in Tennessee are amazing. You should be a model! I’m sure you hear that a lot because of how pretty you are;)

I hope it’s not too cold in Seattle. I took some pictures of random things I thought you’d like, maybe that’ll distract you from how cold it is. I know how much you hate the cold. (You chose the wrong place to live!)

Anyhoo, I’m sorry this letter is short. My wrist is cramping up and May needs help with dinner. Write back as soon as you can.

Much love,

Peter ♥

Photo one: Peter in an obnoxiously large New Year’s Eve hat, grinning from ear to ear with his friend(?)

Photo two: A Polaroid of stray cats bonding in what you assume is Peter’s front yard.

Photo three: A Polaroid of Peter that was clearly taken by May. Peter is holding a tray of muffins, and he looks really stupid in his apron.

You get to writing him a letter right away.

Dear Peter,

I love the pictures. I’ll add them to my growing collection on my wall:)

My day has been so shitty. I wish you were here. It gets lonely, sometimes. I have friends, I’ve told you very little about them. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but living alone is just lonely. Maybe I should get a cat or something. I need something to come home to. (Sorry for making this portion of the letter sad. I just needed someone to talk to.)

The weather in Queens looks nice. You’re awfully lucky, Peter. It’s cold and slushy here. I’m cold to the bone. Like, nothing will warm me up. It’s annoying. I just want it to be summer again. I hate being pale and cold.

I don’t have any pictures as of right now, so I’m sorry about that. I have some drawings I could give you.

My letter is short too, so I guess we’re even. I need to nap the sadness away.

Cold and loving,

Y/N ♥

The next letter you receive from Peter is about a week later.

My dearest Y/N,

I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well.

I know we said we wouldn’t exchange phone numbers, and I respect that, but I just need to give you mine. I need to. Just in case. I don’t want you to be sad and lonely and have to wait for my letters to come. I like you. I like you A LOT– And I honestly want to meet you in person but that’s a conversation for another day. I’ve been saving up for it. Maybe you should come during the spring? You’d love it here, I know it. Or I could come to you? Whatever, we can talk about it more over the phone.

My phone number:

(718)-XXX-XXXX

Call me;)

Love always,

Peter ♥

You immediately spring up to your feet and grab your phone. Your hands were shaking as you dialed the number and called it, praying he wouldn’t think it was a spam call.

“Pete?” You ask, voice higher than you meant it to be.

Boyish laughter erupts on the other end of the line, and you already know that it’s Peter. Of course, his laugh would sound so sweet.

“Hi, lovie.”

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saltygilmores · 5 months ago

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- 3x9-Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving- Part 1

It's 6:30am on the 4th of July. It feels like as a good a time as any to write about a Thanksgiving episode. I am quite fond of this episode, it's one of my favorites. It includes a historical first: which is Lorelai being kinda nice to Jess? Hooray! It's a Thanksgiving miracle! But off to the house fire with him again for Black Friday. I cannot, however, even in the spirit of Julyskiving, be nice to Lorelai when describing this episode. This is, after all, the "Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did" episode. Would you mind taking a Niceness Raincheck, Lorelai? I doubt it will be useful in s3. For the time being, just accept all of the comedic verbal beatdowns that you have coming from me. On with Julyskiving.

Jess can sympathize with Pete. But he's beating his meat instead of eggs. This one is a bit borderline, but it qualifies for a check on the "thinly veiled sexual reference" square on my Bingo Card. I cannot take my eyes off this mug Michel is holding and "sipping" from because it's the emptiest Empty Mug I've seen so far on this show. I've seen some empty cups on this show but dang, this one is empty.

Me looking for love in all the wrong places.

Heh heh. We learn that Lorelai has faked illness and poor cellphone reception (that's not terribly hard in 2002, the year of our lord) to try and weasel out of the last two FND's. Why, you ask? Because she's still hopping mad at Emily and Richard for...taking Rory on a trip to look at a school that wasn't Harvard. Emily Gilmore, the Queen that she is, lays down that in no uncertain terms that Lorelai will have to spend Thanksgiving doing FND. Emily won’t allow Lorelai get in a word in edgewise, complain, or protest 🫡 so Lorelai lays down like a dog and submits. I love to see it.

*checks off "Millennial Pop Culture Reference" on the Bingo Card* Have I mentioned how much I love the 35 year old extras playing high school students?

Not anymore he ain't. Just ride it out for another 3 short years. girl. Reese will be history by 2006. He never married again, either. "Is it me, or did everything the teacher say sound dirty? I mean come on, reticulum? The golgi body? Does that sound majorly pornographic or what?" Heh heh. Yeah. I'm scandalized by the use of the word "pornographic" on this wholesome show. We learn that Louise's father is in prison for an unspecified crime. I love Madelyn & Louise lore, don't you? Paris wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen to pad her Ivy League resume but no one would take her. She will be ever so lonely on Thanksgiving and needs a place to spend the holiday. *bats eyelashes at Rory* Madelyn plans to spend Thanksgiving filling out applications for safety schools. Paris agres that is incredbly important to weigh as many options as possible when applying to colleges. Rory, meanwhile , remembers that just a short while ago, her Mommy had a nuclear meltdown in public and shut her grandparents out for weeks over the mere idea of her even looking at or thinking about a backup school. Much like the time she realized she forgot to enroll in extra cirricular activities, this is someone who is quietly contemplating just how badly she's boned. Academically speaking.

Paris receives a return call on her ancient cellphone from a soup kitchen, with whom she tries to wrangle a volunteer opportunity. This is how Rory looks at Paris angrily ranting at a charitable organization:

Paris may not be able to pad her college application by helping the needy this year, but she will always be a volunteer in the soup kitchen of Rory's heart.

OMG. Could it be? Is that...the window concession stand from s1?

IT IS! IT IS! I love that little guy! I thought the fragile small town economy had swallowed up another beloved business! You ladies are just gonna walk past and not pick me up a fiesta burger and onion rings, huh? Besides snubbing a small business that has to compete with Luke's and could really use the help, ahem, Rory and Lorelai's Thanksgiving itinerary includes dinner at the elder gilmores, Sookie's, Lane's, and Luke's. They then decide to cut Luke from their schedule, because ol Grumpy Gus doesn't care about holidays and he won't miss them.

And so what if he did? Peace and harmony will be achieved when the people of The Hollow are free and able to be their true and authentic sexual selves.

None of which they'll pay for.

"Such a food rut we're in!" Concession Stand Guy would like a word.

Ya'll are just filthy. You're making jokes about stuffing each other a day before this wholesome holiday. Continue. Please. Lorelai informs Luke that they can't make it for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He seems quietly shattered. *Mr Lonely plays*

Perhaps you can un-disappoint him by paying for your food. So moved were the Gilmore GIrls by Luke's rare, almost visible display of emotion, that they decide they can work him into their schedule after all.

Batten down the hatches, guy. The Gilmores are coming. To your restaurant. Just like they do every day. Multiple times a day. Sometimes after you've already closed. Always eating, never paying.

Rory emptied two beach pails of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in one sitting after Dean dumped her. She ain't wrong. Stay tuned for the next chapter where I will explore the re-appearance of the vomit green puffy coat, Rory's continued pre occupation with Dean, Lorelai's continued pre occupation with Dean (the re emergence of the DALA), comedic thoughts about Black Friday, and much more.

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #deep fried korean thanksgiving #dfkt #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #thanksgiving #gilmore girls season 3 #3x9

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russian-spider · 10 months ago

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I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.

I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).

And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.

Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.

And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.

#the bear #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto #the bear fx #i'm going crazy thinking how all along richie had carmy's respect and carmy had richie's love #but carmy failed to show his love to richie and to open up emotionally and richie failed ro respect him until the last part of the season

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outmakingmoonshine · 5 months ago

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(Some of) my hopes (and some theories) for S3

The number 1 thing I want is a scene after Nat's had her baby where Carmy sees Syd holding the baby and his entire world stops bc that's all he wants for his future 😭 If Sydcarmy kiss or something I'll be happy and I'll reblog every single gif of it like a normal person BUT if we get a Syd holding the baby scene I'm gonna be uncontrollable on every social media platform available. I might even post it on Reddit and watch the meltdown! This is where the bar of my expectation is for S3. If we get this (or anything remotely like it) I'll be so satisfied, any other good thing that happens between Sydcarmy will be a bonus for me.

We know we're getting a Syd x Pete scene and I want a Carmy x Pete scene where Pete's talking about how great Syd is and Carmy can't help but warm to him a bit more. The potential relationships between Syd x Pete and Pete x Carmy are so important to me 🥹 my three awkward, anxious lonely babies (Pete's not lonely now but I think he probably was once upon a time and the Berzatto men singling him out of the family must make him feel lonely and not good enough :( I love Carmy but I will fight him for Pete's dignity and honour!)

Putting the rest under a cut because it's mostly just my musings and ramblings

I want Nat to say something to Carmy about his relationship with Syd. Nat saw their dynamic before Claire came, she saw Syd's reaction to Claire, how sydcarmy's dynamic changed when Claire was around and how Carmy ditching her made Syd feel. She didn't witness all of that for nothing. Someone's gotta tell Carmy how he's been (unintentionally) making Syd feel and I doubt it'll be Syd.

I need to see Richie start respecting Pete at least a little bit. Carmy's already kind of made a step towards respecting and even appreciating Pete for who he is a bit more but I need to see it from Richie too because I'm pretty sure he's the one who leads that little mob mentality against Pete. Even if it doesn't actually happen this season, I need to see it heading in that direction because Pete doesn't deserve all this slander 😭 I need Richie and Carmy to start seeing that the only difference between them and Pete is that he's mature and confident in who he is. They're both not confident in who they are so their only way of feeling like they're above him/better than him is to make fun of him for it. (IRL grown adults with this infantile mentality get on my last nerve so I need to see them come to a realization soon.)

I want Donna to make amends and start finding peace. I know she's technically an antagonist in this story but it really bothers me the way people dismiss her as if she's some monster like we aren't watching Carmy treat the people he loves the exact same way she does. If we can empathize with a man for his toxic behaviour we can empathize with a woman who was going through her own trauma and loss while she had 3 kids (plus Richie) to look after. Any parent who welcomes another person's child into their family unit for years and makes them feel like part of the family despite whatever she's going through, isn't a monster imo. I know she traumatized her kids but honestly, most parents do that and have no remorse about it. Donna has remorse for her actions and the effect it had on her kids. And what is Carmy doing to Sydney's self-esteem and confidence right now? He's definitely not helping it! l If I can forgive Carmy because he's acting on his trauma and I understand he's not just a horrible person by choice, I can do the same for Donna. I know some ppl just don't like JLC because she's pro-zionist (idek I just saw this online somewhere?) which I understand but at the same time, the actress is seperate to the character. Donna's favourite person in the world is gonna be her beautiful black daughter in law! She's gonna love and appreciate Syd so much.

I want Donna's story to end with her starting to heal so people watching this show know that even late in life when you've made all the worst mistakes and inflicted your pain on others you can still heal and try to right those wrongs. It's never too late to start being a better person. This wasn't meant to turn into a rant about Donna but I think the way some fans talk about her character is so unfair and narrow minded because they don't keep the same energy for Carmy.

Some of my theories for S3

I know no one wants to hear this but I think 3x09 Apologies will be an apology to Claire where Carmy finally comes clean about why he gave her a fake number and why he can't be with her, putting an end to romantic Claire/Carmy for good. If we see the end of Claire in the first few episodes I'll be happy but I doubt they'll waste the "suspense" of Claire/Carmy vs SydCarmy by ending it 3 or even 4, 5 episodes in. I don't think she'll be in all 9 episodes leading up to it tho (please no, I love Molly but that's way too much of Claire.)

JAW said during awards season "Claire deserves an apology" which seemed random to me at the time because no one asked him that, he just brought it up and we all know Syd is the one who deserves the biggest apology from Carmy. Idk if they were filming S3 yet when he said that but he already knows where the story is going. Actors don't just play character's "blind" without knowing something about where their story is leading, especially main characters.

I think they'll do the Syd/Claire switcheroo and make it seem like Carmy's going to apologize to Syd (because it will be glaringly obvious he needs to) but it'll be him telling Claire the truth and ending things with her. Idk if Syd will get an actual apology (it would mirror 1x08 where Marcus got the actual apology and Syd didn't even though she probably deserved it more) but I think we will get some kind of super intimate heartwarming/heartbreaking scene from sydcarmy in that episode, just like 2x09.

Also Ayo said something like sydcarmy fans won't get what they want in S3 and it's the one time I actually believe her.

I think we're going to get some amazing sydcarmy scenes in S3 but I don't think it's going to end well for them. I think S4 will mirror S1 and build their dynamic up again back to what it was before Claire came in 2x03. I think S4 is gonna be THE sydcarmy season.

I'm in two minds about whether Syd will sign the contract or not. I'm leaning towards no because despite it meaning Carmy can't just leave again, going off to do whatever he wants with "wHoEvEr" and she'll have his full focus, I just don't think she wants a legal contract to be the basis of why they're committed to working together. Syd's never tried to tie Carmy to her so I don't think she'll appreciate him doing it to her. Carmy's doing this out of desperation, not out of purely wanting to collaborate with her and Syd will sense that. I think Syd wants him to want to work with her. That's why she never actively tried to get him to stay and work with her in S2 and she could've been way more direct and harsh than "I need your focus like you need mine", Lord knows he would deserve it but she isn't trying to force him. That's why she never made him feel bad about being with Claire either even though he ditched her for Claire right when they were getting closer. She doesn't want to guilt trip him or make him feel like he owes her something, she wants it to be his own decision. She wants him to show that he wants it just like she does. And he does...but he just doesn't know how to show it in a healthy way and toxicity raised him so I can't blame him.

Idk what's gonna happen between Syd & Marcus or Syd & Luca but I don't think it actually needs to be romantic to make Carmy jealous, especially if he and Syd aren't seeing eye to eye. I don't think it's necessarily gonna be romantic for Syd either, even if they see her that way. Just like Carmy didn't really see Claire romantically (in present day anyway) and I will die on that hill. That man had zero romantic interest in her despite literally kissing and having sex with her. It was more like he was just going through the motions of a "normal" relationship than it being something he genuinely wanted. Why does he show SO MUCH want and desire for Syd but not a single iota of the same for Claire?!

Seeing Syd get close to any other man is going to bother Carmy regardless, especially if he knows the man is attracted to her. But I feel like Syd is a 'connection before anything else' kinda girl (Carmy is too, that's why having sex with Claire literally sent him into a spiralling panic attack the morning after) but Syd doesn't have the exact same issues and trauma that Carmy has so I can't see Syd being with or sleeping with someone she doesn't feel connected to like that. I could be wrong but I can't see her changing her mind about Marcus and suddenly dating him at this point. She seems like someone who knows what she wants and won't settle for less just because it's available. (Not that Marcus is "less" than anyone, my sweet little cherub.) I could see her feeling a connection to Luca though, he's basically a calm version of Carmy that pays attention.

Ayo basically saying in an interview that Will Poulter pays attention to her instead of his phone was such a random piece of info imo. I get it made context in the story she was telling but it just seems like such a deliberate pointed thing to bring up knowing right now in the show Syd doesn't feel appreciated or listened to by Carmy. She could've answered the question without mentioning Will at all tbh, and even if she did mention him she didn't need to mention all of that, give us a whole backstory and everything, idk. This might be a reach but I'm pretty sure they give out of context clues like this in interviews, they definitely do it in the show so I wouldn't be surprised.

I think it was a clue about the dynamic between Syd and Luca in S3 and the difference between Carmy and Luca is Carmy's unfocused and makes Syd feel like he doesn't listen to her but Luca makes her feel like he pays attention to her. I still don't think this needs to be in a romantic sense but I'm happy for Syd to get some TLC from a hot blond guy with tattoos before Carmy sees sense.

Idk we'll see how that story plays out in S3 but if the fact Luca pays attention to her is a plot point (even a subtextual one) I'm taking that story from Ayo as an out of context spoiler.

I love Marcus and I adore Lionel BUT I just can't see Marcus and Syd being together. Their vibe is so brother/sister to me that it would just be weird at this point in the show imo. The same way sydcarmy ending the show only ever being "platonic co-workers" would give me weird inappropriate vibes about their dynamic throughout the show. The romantic dynamic between sydcarmy and the platonic dynamic between Syd x Marcus are kinda set in stone imo, especially after S2. It'll be very difficult from a literary standpoint to drastically change those dynamics in a believable way and keep the quality of storytelling and integrity of the show intact at this point. It's not impossible, I just don't think it's likely at all.

I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to Marcus's storyline in S3. My mum died when I was young so seeing kids (even if they're adults) attending their mum's funeral on shows/movies always makes me emotional, especially when it's a character I care about. (If we get a flashback of Syd at her mum's funeral I might actually die of sadness bc I'm not ready for that! I've had enough time to accept I'm gonna see Marcus's mum's funeral but if they spring Syd's mum's funeral on me too it might actually break me idk.) I am looking forward to seeing him be supported through it though and other than his mother's funeral storyline I'm excited to see where his story goes in S3. I feel like Carmy's gonna be an asshole to him if he starts getting closer to Syd and while I love the angst and jealousy of SydCarmy he better not hurt Marcus's feelings or be too hard on him. I can't wait for some Marcus x Luca scenes too.

I nearly forgot the loml, Tina! I'm so excited to see her story in S3, idek what to expect other than her backstory episode that Ayo's directing 🙌🏽 but I'm sure I will love it. Liza does so well in this role at making me feel things (all of the cast do tbh but Liza as Tina just plucks my heartstrings on a different level.)

If you read this far, thank you I appreciate you 💛

#the bear season 3 #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #donna berzatto #richie jerimovich #tina the bear #nat berzatto #pete the honorary berzatto #the bear fx #carmy x sydney #chef's kiss

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