#personal stuff and things
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Current mood: Terzo’s Immense Disappointment
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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour
#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd#borderline pd#borderline things#borderline problems#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#being borderline#borderline culture is#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd culture is
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collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:
even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body
you don't have to brush your teeth standing up
you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering
you don't have to shower with the lights on
if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath
if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria
eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food
you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it
some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them
kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time
if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are
we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it
if you have even a dollar to spare, please consider donating to Alaikum's family.
they're a large family at only 10% of their goal to evacuate, and could use any help you can give!!
#these are just things I personally didn't consciously realize but are really helpful#or stuff that I don't think think we hear enough#disability#mental health#mental illness#encounter: demon
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Repaired my fave jacket, got emotional, drew something about it
#watercolor#personal stuff#punk is not dead#happy things#this is my general art tag#this is my comic tag
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Me thinking of all the tropes I can fit into ONE SINGLE CHAPTER:
your desire to write the same trope over and over again
🤝
my desire to read the same trope over and over again
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the devil couldn’t reach me so he made me feel like i dont belong anywhere.
#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#depressing shit#relatable#tw depressing thoughts#tasiblog#bpd#bpd safe#bpd stuff#actually borderline#borderline things#borderline problems#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#borderline personality disorder#bpd triggers#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd vent#bpd life#bpd is a bitch#bpd issues#bpd struggles#bpd shit#bpd tumblr#bpd emotions#bpd mood#bpd brain
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#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd blog#actually borderline#bpd vent#actually mentally ill#bpd stuff#vent#borderline pd#borderline blog#living with borderline#borderline culture is#borderline problems#borderline thoughts#borderline personality disorder#borderline#borderline things#vent blog#vent post#personal vent#vent ish#shitpost vent#femcel#actual bpd#actually incel#actual incel#nozomi vents
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I think we need to get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes shitty, racist, homophobic, bigoted people are still incredibly talented.
I feel like every time I see a post addressing someone’s shitty behavior the post also takes the time to mention that they’re not even good at [x] anyway. And that’s just not always true? Equating being good at a skill as being morally good is just not necessary. Someone can be a fantastic writer, can have a beautiful singing voice, can create breathtaking artwork, and still be a horrible person.
I know part of this is probably just the instinct to dislike everything about a person when you dislike them, but I also think this mindset leads to people defending creatives way past where they should, because if bad people create bad art, then if this person creates art that I like and resonates with me, then they can’t be a bad person!
And you know. That’s just not true. Those two things are simply completely unconnected and I think it’d be healthier if we all started disconnecting them in our heads.
#ramblings tag#like idk. I think it’s possible to feel distaste for someone’s stuff while acknowledging it’s objectively good#but sometimes people act like admitting there’s a single good thing about a person who’s been shitty is impossible#and like. no! people are multifaceted and can have many positives#those don’t change the fact that they’ve done shitty things
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"I love writing so much!" She exclaims as she sobs brokenly in front of her laptop.
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#quiet borderline#borderline personality problems#borderline things#ghosting#bed rotting#bpd stigma#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd blog#actually bpd#bpd problems#stressed#bpd mood#bpd#bpd vent
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The final TF2 issue really got to me. Spoilers, but it’s the reveal that all of this suffering and murder and war over gravel and shitty land was for nothing but senseless, bottomless hatred. That the administrator can’t even remember where this revenge plot started as she flashes through different false memories of her parents’ deaths. There was never a tragic backstory or justification, only terrible people doing despicable things. And despite how crass and stupid and unserious TF2 is, the story subverts every expectation by showing the survivors and inheritors willingly breaking the cycle. Ms. Pauling lies to the administrator and chooses not to save her, and finally lets her die. (Hurts even more if you read into the subtext that Ms. Pauling is in love with the administrator.) She lets the final cache of Australium go and walks away from the burden and legacy of a century-old bloodfeud. Hale lets Gray’s daughter go and live her life freely. Spy is the first to arrive at Scout’s house and meet his big family, finally takes off his mask, and helps with the kids. Even Merasmus exhaustedly makes peace with himself and Soldier and chooses not to curse him or something. There’s nothing to finish, no promises to keep, and no one to avenge. The only thing to do is break the cycle and walk away.
It feels odd how happy and warm everything is, but it feels so right and earned. These bloodthirsty, awful, violent men were expendable cogs in a machine of endless violence, and they found a way out. It’s a genuinely great message about letting go the past that burdens you and finding the will and a way to hit the bricks, change, and be happy. Maybe they don’t technically deserve happiness, but they’ve got it nonetheless, and they’re not gonna let it go to waste. They’re still all crazy and violent, but on their own terms now and with people who love them! Smiles.
#tf2#rant#personal#the stuff with the administrator reminded me of the ending of breaking bad#except the admin isn’t as self aware as Walt lol#that there was never a sympathetic reason or justification to fall back on#all of this was done simply because they were sadistic people#I really appreciate the writers avoiding the expected trope of the administrator dying and#Ms Pauling taking the mantel and becoming the next administrator. both as a either a girlboss empowerment thing or a sad but realistic end#like nah they’re happy and doing well. we won’t torture these characters any more and doom them to continuing the cycle#they’ll be happy and you’ll be happy for them
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sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine
#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd#bpd feels#bpd culture is#bpd safe#living with borderline#being borderline#borderline culture is#actually borderline#borderline things#borderline problems#borderline blog#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#borderline personality disorder#overreacting#anxitey#anxi4ty
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually#and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash#and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change#also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb#from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs#and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash#or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into#and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is#ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)!#rimi talks
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.
#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#depressing shit#relatable#tasiblog#tw depressing thoughts#bpd#bpd safe#bpd stuff#borderline thoughts#bpd is a bitch#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline things#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd life#bpd irl#bpd is bpding#bpd issues#bpd relatable#bpd struggles#bpd shit#bpd mood#bpd moment#bpd be like#bpd tumblr#bpd tag#bpd things
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"adhd isn't a disability"
breaks down over trying to start tasks until he deadline is stupidly close
unable to do basic chores unless it's like 4am and then the whole damn house gets cleaned
speaks too fast
tangent and tangent and tangent. makes social situations hard
literally unable to stop themselves from interrupting people mid sentence (and the constant "*interrupts*- sorry, please continue")
knows what they want to say, cannot find the words, even if it's something basic
auditory processing disorder (pretty common with adhd), like how do you explain that you can hear but your brain has minecraft server lag and the chat will appear soon
hyperfixations, and people thinking they are special interests when they are not (they are short term, literally stops you from basic care like eating and drinking when in) edit: it was brought to my attention this comes across like special interests are easier to live with which is not the case, please do not take that away from this post!!!
impulse purchases making bank accounts cry
all or nothing. not hungry to pain. don't need to pee until pain. you get the picture
cannot sit still, like actually can't, constant moving and shuffling which people think would be cute but actually just pisses people off
doesn't have a fidget toy, not bc they are popular but bc they would have to put it away bc dylan over there got a fidget spinner and has been loudly playing with it (dylan is neurotypical)
cannot do anything if there is something else to do that day, must wait
just stfu it is a disability
#written by an adhd person at 4am bc they cannot sleep bc brain go brrrrrrrrrrrr#but not brrrrrrrrrrrr like cute#brrrrrrrrrrrr like a ch-47 chinook#that's a helicopter#adhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurodiverse stuff#adhd problems#adhd things#actually neurodivergent#holy shit 10k
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