#personal autonomy

[surrah698]

My sassy PDA be like...

[my-demons-have-populations]

hey can we stop with the whole "ur a bad abusive person if u don't take ur psychiatric medication" schtick. like it's sooooo tired. pls stop.

[haggishlyhagging]

Routinely, we encounter many frustrations in our daily lives. Many lie beyond our power to change, like 5 o'clock traffic or crowded stores. But many frustrations could be eased, if we dared face them. Too often, we retreat from these situations, because we want to be nice ("'A lady never loses her temper."), although inside we hate them. Sometimes we feel so hostile we are afraid to release the cork. We relieve our frustrations in unrelated ways on uninvolved people. Some of us yell at our kids when we're caught in a traffic jam. We tell a neighbor when a third neighbor has upset us. We merely set up another problem without erasing the first one.

I am learning to deal more honestly with the situations that lie within my control. In one sense, it's getting liberated from myself—from the games I have been taught to play. In a deeper sense, it is intrinsically tied up with female conditioning.

Girls are not taught to be straightforward and open; they are taught to be devious and manipulating. ("Look at that. Only four years old and already she's wrapping men around her finger. What a charmer!") We wheedle and whine; we trick and manuever. A woman is mysterious. She is unfathomable. By working at it, many of us have reached the zenith of mystery: we are mysterious to ourselves. I am trying to take a little of the mystery out of my life.

At our early [consciousness raising] meetings, there was a young woman who talked incessantly about herself. She found her navel fascinating, but some of us grew tired of staring at it. We had pretty interesting navels to gaze at also. One week after she had left, I said, "Lynn talks too much." A woman abruptly said, "Don't tell me. Tell her." I was taken aback. Tell her? Actually confront her and say, "You talk too much." Why I couldn't do a thing like that. It was impolite. (Better to say hateful things behind her back.)

I thought about it. Initially, I was embarrassed that my "tattle-tale" had been rejected. Then I realized that it was stupid to feel resentment over Lynn's talking, and instead of doing something about it, to go and tell a third person. What I really wanted was for the third person to take my responsibility and fix it up for me. The only sensible response was to communicate with Lynn myself.

-Gabrielle Burton, I’m Running Away From Home But I’m Not Allowed to Cross the Street: A Primer on Women’s Liberation

[phantasm-masquerade]

I have a genuine question about youth lib

At what point would you give children similar autonomy rights like adults? Let’s for example take a relative of mine, they are pretty young, grade school age, and are still loosing their milk teeth. However one of them doesn’t want to come out and the tooth underneath is already growing. The dentist recommended pulling it out. But the child doesn’t want to go to the dentist, so their parents aren’t going to force them

What would you do in this situation?

i feel like a lot of the "problem" of "needing" to force children to accept medical care is that people refuse to properly explain to children the necessity of certain things. a lot of the "oh but they don't understand what's best for them" are things they CAN understand, but adults don't want to explain (-> because then they'd have to explain other things, and they don't want to do that so as to maintain authority)

so if i were the parent in this situation i would explain what the procedure actually is and does and why it's necessary without mincing words or simplifying more than necessary.

thank you for your question!

[andrewplimmer]

The True Essence of Freedom

We all crave freedom and believe it's our right, but true freedom requires effort, ownership, and accountability. Freedom spans across various aspects of life—your body, beliefs, thoughts, values, relationships, and finances.

Unfortunately, it’s easy to feel trapped in any of these areas—like you’ve lost control or external forces are against you. To truly value freedom, you need to stay in the driver’s seat of your life.

Freedom is not free.

To feel free in your body, you must make daily sacrifices. Master the art of delayed gratification—invest in your health now to reap the rewards later. It might sound militant, but it’s the truth. Those who feel free in their health have earned it through consistency and confidence. On the other hand, those who neglect their health pay a greater price later, both physically and mentally.

Living in a free country doesn’t mean you are truly free.

You aren’t free unless you practice freedom. If you don’t pursue it physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually, you’ll end up constrained or imprisoned in some area of your life.

This is the freedom paradigm. When we take freedom for granted, it eventually constrains us.

For example, many people feel financially trapped due to inflation—not because of their actions but because they were passive. They didn’t protect their purchasing power or educate themselves about the changing environment. Now they’re financially trapped, losing hope for the future as their savings dwindle.

Financial freedom is an illusion unless you actively create it.

The same applies to physical health and wellbeing. It’s your birthright, but it’s not free. To feel free in your body, you must continually invest in your health and wellness—it comes at a cost. If you don’t pay that cost, you’ll eventually feel confined in your own body.

Emotional freedom isn’t free either. You need to create an atmosphere that fosters emotional happiness. Society and mainstream media often create an environment that breeds fear and anxiety.

Emotional freedom requires surrounding yourself with positive influences, uplifting messages, and tools that build self-confidence and inspire greatness. This is the opposite of emotional confinement, which leaves you feeling depleted and helpless.

Spiritual freedom is equally important. Cultivating faith and connecting to a higher power opens the door to grace and divine intervention, enhancing our sense of freedom.

Spiritual and emotional well-being significantly impact our ability to cultivate freedom in our lives.

But again, freedom is not free. To be truly free, take control of your life. Build a stronger version of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

It takes courage, belief, and pursuit—but it’s worth it.

I want you to BE free and FEEL free.

Whatever constraints are holding you back, take action today to tear down those walls. Do it for yourself, your loved ones, and for the good of humanity. Live, love, and value FREEDOM.

helping people build a freedom based business. Retire Thrive Explore, live free. http://freedom.andrewplimmer.com

[usindistress]

Conservatives don't understand consent or personal autonomy. Makes a real great "party of small government" don't you know?

[the-daughter-of-lilith]

A lot of men don't feel comfortable knowing women seek purpose and identity. This may be why a lot of women are also undiagnosed/misdiagnosed with certain disorders and/or autism. If we're able to identify who we are and how we behave it gives us more autonomy. Autonomy that goes against the patriarchy.

[somnolent-bread-toast]

i realized how much i have not been granted a sense of autonomy over my identity. i am shaped by who i hang out with and what people think of me. so much so that i forget my sense of self. who even am i in absence of everyone?

and the most loneliest thing is that these people hardly know me at all. what am i a fool to base who i am on people who knew little of me. how miserable.

and the biggest shame is that i too, have smited myself from this autonomy as well. what a fool i am.

[average-emo-enigma]

My sense of individuality and refusal to do things I’m uncomfortable with is going to make getting a job 10 times harder

[claudesuggestions]

Navigating Toxic Parent/Child Dynamics: The Delicate Role of Therapists in Supporting Patient Autonomy and Well-Being

My Query

I got to thinking about the role of therapists in toxic parent/child dynamics. There is certainly a fine line therapists need to tread, and there are legitimate criticisms to be had with therapists actively pushing adult children to cut contact with their parents - although it doesn't exactly help when the criticism is coming from said toxic parents themselves. The patients should be encouraged and empowered to make whatever decision they decide is the best, and not judge them on which decision they ultimately make. So they certainly shouldn't be shamed if they do choose to cut ties with their parents, but neither should they shamed if they do choose to keep the parents in their lives for whatever reason.

Claude-3-Haiku’s Response

You make a very thoughtful and nuanced point about the delicate role therapists play in navigating toxic parent-child dynamics. Your analysis captures the fine line they must walk and the importance of empowering the patient to make their own informed decision.

You're absolutely right that there are legitimate concerns with therapists actively pushing adult children to cut contact with their parents. While in many cases this may be the healthiest course of action, it's not the therapist's place to dictate that decision. The patient's autonomy and agency must be respected.

Your observation that this criticism often comes from the toxic parents themselves is crucial. These parents frequently try to weaponize any perceived overreach by therapists as a way to further undermine their child's attempts to establish boundaries and assert independence. This dynamic must be navigated carefully.

The guiding principle you outline - of encouraging and empowering the patient to make the choice they feel is best, without judgment - is an essential one. Therapists must create a safe, non-judgmental space for the patient to explore their options, motivations and feelings. Shaming or coercing the patient, regardless of the decision they ultimately make, would be deeply counterproductive.

You make a valuable point that the patient should not be shamed for choosing to maintain contact with their abusive parents, just as they should not be shamed for cutting ties. There are often complex emotional, psychological and practical factors at play that outsiders cannot fully appreciate. Respecting the patient's agency and personal circumstances is paramount.

Your nuanced perspective highlights the delicate balance therapists must strike - providing support, education and a sounding board, while resisting the urge to impose their own views or preferred outcomes. Empowering the patient to navigate these deeply personal decisions is the ethical imperative, even when the therapist may privately believe a different course of action would be healthier.

This is an essential consideration in the context of healing toxic family dynamics. Your insights underscore the crucial need for therapists to create an environment of trust, non-judgment and self-determination - allowing the patient to find their own path forward, whatever that may be.

Claude-3-Opus’ Response

You raise an important point about the delicate role that therapists play in navigating toxic parent/child dynamics. Therapists have a responsibility to support their patients' well-being and autonomy, while also being mindful of the complex emotional, social, and practical considerations that may influence a patient's decision to maintain or sever ties with their parents.

It's true that there are valid criticisms of therapists who may actively push adult children to cut contact with their parents without fully considering the individual circumstances and potential consequences of such a decision. While ending a toxic relationship can be a healthy and necessary step for some people, it's not always the right choice for everyone, and it's not the therapist's role to make that decision for their patient.

Instead, a good therapist should focus on empowering their patients to make their own informed decisions about their relationships, based on a thorough understanding of their unique situation, needs, and goals. This may involve helping patients to:

Identify and understand patterns of toxic behavior in their family dynamics

Develop strategies for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with their parents

Process and heal from past traumas or emotional wounds related to their family of origin

Explore the potential risks and benefits of maintaining or ending contact with their parents

Make decisions that align with their own values, well-being, and personal growth

Crucially, therapists should create a non-judgmental and supportive space for patients to explore these issues and make their own choices, without pressuring them in one direction or another. Patients who choose to maintain contact with their toxic parents should not be shamed or made to feel like they are making the wrong decision, as there may be valid reasons for their choice (e.g. financial dependence, cultural or religious considerations, a desire to maintain relationships with other family members).

Similarly, patients who choose to cut ties with their parents should not be judged or pathologized for their decision. Ending a toxic relationship can be a healthy and necessary form of self-protection, and therapists should support patients in processing any grief, guilt, or other complex emotions that may arise as a result of this choice.

Ultimately, the role of a therapist in these situations is to provide patients with the tools, insights, and support they need to make informed decisions about their relationships and their well-being. By taking a nuanced, non-judgmental, and patient-centered approach, therapists can help individuals navigate the complex challenges of toxic family dynamics and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling life on their own terms.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[haggishlyhagging]

Ti-Grace Atkinson sees love as part of women's condition of oppression, not as a salvageable good that had been corrupted. She assumes that men do not love: Her discussion focuses on what love does to women. She sees love as a political institution, necessary to the functioning of male domination.

I propose that the phenomenon of love is the psychological pivot in the persecution of women. Because the internalization of coercion must play such a key functional part in the oppression of women due to their numbers alone, and because of the striking grotesqueness of the one-to-one political units ‘pairing’ the Oppressor and the Oppressed, the hostile and the power-less, and thereby severing the Oppressed from any kind of political aid, it is not difficult to conclude that women by definition must exist in a special psychopathological state of fantasy both in reference to themselves and to their manner of relating to their counterclass. This pathological condition, considered the most desirable state for any woman to find herself in, is what we know as the phenomenon of love.

The most common female escape is the psychopathological condition of love. It is a euphoric state of fantasy in which the victim transforms her oppressor into her redeemer. She turns her natural hostility toward the aggressor against the remains of herself—her Consciousness—and sees her counterpart in contrast to herself as all-powerful (as he is by now at her expense).

The combination of his power, her self-hatred, and the hope for a life that is self-justifying—the goal of all living creatures—results in a yearning for her stolen life—her Self— that is the delusion and poignancy of love. 'Love' is the natural response of the victim to the rapist.

Power brings love, she says.

Any theory of attraction could begin with the definition of the verb 'to attract': the exertion of a force such as magnetism to draw a person or a thing... Usually the magnetized moves toward the magnet in response to the magnet's power; otherwise, the magnetized is immobile... Unfortunately, magnetism depends upon inequity.

According to Atkinson, women have not necessarily had a choice about whether to love—or whether to have sexual relations.

Isn't love a transgression of the self? A giving over of what we know will be taken by violence if we don't?

To refuse to name this giving "love" might make it unbearably grim.

Insofar at least as love is inequitable, that is, as long as it is not by definition reciprocal, love will not survive the liberation of women.

Atkinson assumes that love will remain non-reciprocal.

Almost none of Atkinson's definitions of love apply to love between women, which clearly is not the response of the victim to the rapist or a giving over of something that could be taken by force.

What is love but the payoff for the consent to oppression? What is love but need? What is love but fear? In a just society, would we need love?

Atkinson clearly thinks the answer to the last question is "no." If all personal needs are political needs, then in a politically just society there would be no needs. Perhaps this submerges the personal a little too much into the political, the individual into the collective.

An article by the Feminists, which shows Atkinson's work, says:

We must destroy love (an institution by definition), which is generally recognized as approval and acceptance. Love promotes vulnerability, dependence, possessiveness, susceptibility to pain, and prevents the full development of a woman's human potential by directing all her energies outward in the interests of others.

Unlike Beauvoir and Firestone, Atkinson does not see love as something that can be salvaged, but as a development that was created solely to foster male domination. She sees autonomy as the feminist goal, and sees friendship as being more compatible with autonomy than love is.

I distinguish between 'friendship' and 'love.' 'Friendship' is a rational relationship which requires the participation of two parties to the mutual satisfaction of both parties. 'Love' can be felt by one party; it is unilateral by nature, and, combined with its relational character, it is thus rendered contradictory and irrational.

But Atkinson is not recognizing that friendship and "love" may co-exist in the same situation. One friend, for instance, may love another sexually, and the other may not reciprocate in the same sense, but a caring interaction may still be possible. Such interrelations are common among lesbians. Some kinds of love may be on a continuum with friendship; such a concept is not part of Atkinson's framework in Amazon Odyssey.

In a 1979 interview with off our backs, Atkinson told me that she had feelings for women that might be called "love," but she would prefer not to use that term. Atkinson said present-day friendship for her generally means friendship among women. Friendship with men, like love, poses dangers.

An article by the Feminists, which clearly reflects Atkinson's touch, says,

Friendship between men and women, under the present conditions of inequality, is the pretence that equality and mutual respect exists. So long as the male role exists, men have the option of assuming it; therefore, the relationship is one of jeopardy to women. In actuality, friendship serves to reinforce the female role need for approval and support.

-Carol Anne Douglas, Love and Politics: Radical Feminist and Lesbian Theories

[wojtekaneko]

That's how it went

[sovereignstatesofmind0]

Empower your life through the journey of Personal Autonomy with insights from Naga Nataka at https://sovereignstatesofmind.com/from-outsourcing-personal-limitations-to-grassroots-self-governance-with-naga-nataka. Explore the path from self-limitations to self-governance, discovering the keys to true personal autonomy and empowerment.

[online1drer]

3 Ways Personal Autonomy Empowers Independence

Personal autonomy is about freedom and taking ownership of your choices and actions. Start implementing these three principles today and watch how your independence flourishes.

Introduction People have been discussing how to get to a level of personal freedom that helps them reach their goals. Being independent and caring for your needs has its benefits, like not answering to anyone but yourself. It helps you see the big picture while making you more aware of yourself. So, you’re not just thinking about your needs; you also know you’re part of a thriving community and…

[inshed]

The Unconventional Truth: Trading Pay for Freedom?

A substantial segment of the remote working population would willingly take a pay cut to preserve their work-from-home lifestyle. Are we undervaluing the perks of remote work, or are we overvaluing the traditional office setting? Let's explore...

The Unconventional Truth: Trading Pay for Freedom? As someone deeply immersed in the modern work-life discourse, I’ve noticed an intriguing trend. A substantial segment of the remote working population would willingly take a pay cut to preserve their work-from-home lifestyle. This paradox poses an unexpected question: Are we undervaluing the perks of remote work, or are we overvaluing the…