#permanent solution temporary problem
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"How strange it is to be anything at all?" but in a i wish i was a boy but i also love being a girl but also i would love it much more if i was a guy but girlhood but boyhood but being seen as normal but i dont want to be "normal" but i need to be but all my problems would be solved with a haircut but a haircut gave me all my problems but maybe i should just suck it up and wear a drsss but maybe ill fly out a fucking window if i have to but but also pretty but also handsome but also FUCK. send tweetn
#tbis makes no sense#its four in the morning and im having a crisis#sorry#shut up mars!#i think if i was js born a teenage boy in 2005 i would be happy#but maybe i wouldnt be#maybe id feel great as a woman in 1998#who fucking knows#not me! thats for sure!#fuck#i wish life was like the sims yk#like you js pick and choose and its fine#fuck.#permanent solution temporary problem#if i repeat it enough ill believe it right
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AVA-M Early Bird: Regeneration Potions
To be clear:
TSC lied to Blue about their chronic pain issues by saying it’s only muscle pain, simply because they don’t want their friends to worry about them.
TSC said ow because they jerked their arm up too fast and it worsens the pain.
And I’m borrowing the idea of regeneration potions being a temporary solution for chronic pain from @tulipsempai.
In the second picture, Blue was explaining to TSC on how to make regeneration potions.
#drawing#animation vs animator#animation vs minecraft#alan becker#ava the second coming#ava blue#tw chronic pain#chronic pain#minecraft#Minecraft regeneration potions#minecraft potions#regeneration potions#inaccurate medical information#temporary solution to permanent problem
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It's frustrating to me that so many resources for coping with suicidal ideation seem to run on the assumption of SI being an exclusively acute experience. Almost all of them start with something like "Remember, this is just a temporary feeling, and like all feelings they pass eventually!" and then they give short term solutions like grounding techniques, or distraction techniques, or breathing exercises, or nervous system regulation exercises with the purpose of calming down enough to get through these few rough moments of being dysregulated and upset.
And I'm not saying they're bad techniques, a lot of these things can be helpful when you're dealing with distressing emotions and feelings and can help them pass more smoothly. It just doesn't really translate to my experience of chronic, near constant suicidal ideation on some level for years, regardless of the circumstances and what I'm feeling.
When suicidality has just been your default, when it doesn't matter what emotions you're experiencing, when it's just a reality you have to deal with... you can't "calm your nervous system down" to a point where it gets rid of the thoughts; you experience them dysregulated and you experience them calm. You can't distract yourself from your entire life. "Don't worry, this is just temporary!" feels insensitive bordering on cruel.
I get that it's harder to give generic advice or coping skill in the situation of always having some level of suicidal ideation going on. But it sucks trying to seek help and basically none of the solutions are super helpful for your situation.
#non religion#mental health stuff#suicide //#it's similar energy to “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”#to me#bc functionally it is a permanent problem for me. so what the fuck am i supposed to do?#I'm safe etc it's just like. i can't square breathe out of chronic SI#and i wish more resources at least acknowledged that
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last seizure free day: yesterday 😑 have a temp prescription for the higher dosage of my meds, so i fully expect to turn into a zombie. thankfully i already have an appointment with a neurologist for later this month, but like. fuck's sake
#i am so TIRED#and i have the headache that won't quit#this is exactly the kind of shit that makes me suicidal not just bc it fucks with my emotions but also like. this is for life.#like i guess i could be miraculously healed but barring that? i have to deal with this FOREVER#and i DO NOT WANT TO and i won't HAVE to in HEAVEN so. can i just. speed things along. please.#UGH#please pray#personal#abbie needs a twitter#suicide#i'm not gonna. i know it would be bad. i know it's a permanent solution to a temporary (or in this case temporal) problem#and-yet.#BLECH
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Realistically I know that nothing has materially changed in the past two days I've made a sudden dramatic nosedive into the depths of depression, but also as far as my stupid brain is concerned I am not living in a material world, and I am not a material girl.
#'it will pass like bad weather'#and 'it's mostly hormonal and sensory overload and the uninterrupted company of your mother'#are absolutely no comfort to me#the rational understanding of why I feel shit is never a comfort tbh#I just feel like I have to say it or someone else will patronisingly tell me like I don't fucking know#but I am sick of being sensible and rational about my insensible and irrational misery#it's too much work to do pr#and also stop myself from doing something extreme that would be a permanent solution to a temporary...#well no#a temporary flare up of a permanent problem crol
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I know my “I can fix him” weakness is SOOO prevalent because I realized the other day that while Suguru is my like #1 pookie and has been for a MINUTE, not once have I ever included him in my nightly cuddling-with-a-fave fantasy to help me fall asleep bc I KNOW that mf never stays the night 😭
#there’s just no universe in which he can be happy#falling asleep with him is restless and angsty#it’s a temporary solution to a permanent problem#he deserves happiness he just won’t let himself have it#and in turn…me 🤪#what does that say about my emotional availability lol#sugurelle
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why do some people use "but it'll look stupid while you're recovering" as a way to say you don't actually want a medical procedure
#like... okay first of all WHEN has that EVER mattered to me#second of all i don't care if my nose is as wide as my face for a week i just want to stop having repeated nosebleeds?? 😭#like it's a very temporary problem for a permanent solution it's a no brainer#also i don't like. ever leave the house. especially right now while it's cold weather and i Physically Can't most days#ppl also used that with my toenail surgery#like. okay. who in the goddamn world is going to be looking at my toes. who fucking cares if i had to get a nail removed 😭
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Touching bases between connecting flights! I'm gone until Tuesday at m'favorite cousin's wedding. Everyone: be kind to yourselves, notice reasons to smile, and have a fantastic weekend! Enjoy my queue and remember you are inherently valuable. 😘
#love you guys!#i love flying#and what a fun reason to travel#we almost lost this cousin a few years back to self-deletion and now he's in grad school#and marrying the sweetest girl#hang in there#never settle for a permanent solution to a temporary problem#personal
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fun fact about me I've only ever watched dead poets society once and it was with my mom and brother when I was about 10 or 12 and I remember coming down after having finished the movie, incredibly distraught for obvious reasons, and my dad immediately taking the chance to tell me and my brother that's why we should never kill ourselves
#LIKE. TIME AND PLACE OLD MAN#he was literally like “what did he do? he took a permanent solution to a temporary problem”#''he could've waited until he moved out of his dad's house to pursue his dreams. but he ended his life instead.#remember that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems"#LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#WHO DOES THAT. WHAT IS WRONGGGG WITH THAT MAN
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but I felt compelled to share.
TW: Homelessness; family drama
With tomorrow being Thanksgiving in the States, I've been asked a lot about what I'm grateful for.
I'm grateful for many things: my health, a job with benefits, the air I breathe, the food I eat, the fact that I have my health even if it isn't perfect.
But the thing I am most grateful for is having a home.
I was homeless for three years when I was 19. It was hard and scary. Very few people were sympathetic and saw me as being a drug addict, someone with anger issues, or with serious mental health issues like schizophrenia, or a thief. There were people who asked where my baby was. I must be an unwed mother because I was young and my family disowned me.
Well, they did disown me after my mother died after a long battle with cancer. My dad's next wife had a guilty conscious and hated that I look so much like my mom. So, he chose her over me and that was that.
There was so much drama that when my dad told me to either submit or leave, I left.
I was safer on the streets.
The homeless I came in contact with were so kind and caring. They'd tell me where to go for food and shelter. How to stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer. They let me know if someone was hiring. They'd protect me when people got aggressive.
They helped me find clothes when I went in for interviews. They cheered me up when nothing came of it and celebrated when I finally got one. They celebrated even more when I finally had enough to get an apartment.
I try to go back as often as I can and spread my good fortune with them. I bring food and water and clean clothes and blankets and first aid kids. Sometimes I can't find them and I mourn for the loss of their companionship. Sometimes, I feel guilty for having survived such an ordeal, but they tell me not to because everything happens exactly when it's supposed to.
Anyway, that's how I'll be celebrating my Thanksgiving, by sitting in a yellow tent listening to the stories of the people who have become closer to me than my own family and laughing with them.
Happy Thanksiving.
#happy thanksgiving#don't give up#stay strong#this too shall pass#don't make a permanent solution for a temporary problem#you are not alone
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How to argue without crying google search
#im genuinely trying to fix the problem permanently#why are people arguing and giving me temporary solutions
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But also importantly I've properly saved some lives tonight, in a big way, so I'm. Really proud of myself, and I think that's a pretty damn good wrap-up of this whole divinity experience, on top of all the other chances I was able to gift that I never could have as an angel.. I was grateful for almost every second.
#There was an extended series of seconds I did not appreciate.#But that wasn't the anon's fault.#..I was following senses of intense despair tonight though.#And I stopped several people from seeking permanent solutions to temporary problems.#So I feel. Like I matter.#I'll need that.#No Strings (ic)#M!A: The Holiness of Trying Again#suicide ment
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hey i have a question. why
well i dont have anywhere else to store them. the curtain rail seemed like a good option at the time
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//Venting in Tags:: TW Sewerslide and shit like that
#dude seriously sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. and the people around me would be better off if I wasn’t around#I know they love me they say it all the time but at the same time in the back of my head there’s just this little voice telling me like#telling me its all fake. telling me theyre only staying out of pity for me or something like that#theres so many things wrong with me and if it’s not on the inside or how I act its how Im presented#I hear it all the time ‘you need to lose weight’ or ‘your face looks bad (acne)’ or literally anything#even small shit like I got told I was feminine and it hit me like a truck#I never EVER liked myself#I cant remember a time when I did#even when I was little I knew there was something wrong with me#I genuinely cant remember a single time when I was happy with myself and my life#I love my friends more than anything#and I have family members I would do anything for#but I know damn well what a disappointment I must be. Im not productive I don’t talk to anybody irl I don’t do anything irl I’m just#lazy and gross and depressed and stupid#I hate myself I always have and I don’t think I’ll ever stop hating myself#I have a fucking suicide note written and everything because I know one of these days somethings going to happen#and I won’t be able to stand it#and I’ll do something idiotic#and I’ll find the one permanent solution to a possibly temporary problem#I don’t want to be this way but I can’t bring myself to fix anything#it’s like my mind and body won’t let me get better. maybe i was just destined to be this gross fucking thing#maybe that’s it#maybe I don’t have a purpose. maybe I was just born to suffer#who knows. maybe Im overthinking everything. maybe im fine. maybe it’s gonna be ok. but I don’t know#I just don’t know anymore#I don’t know what to do
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What happened to San Francisco after Dreamforce? The city's issues resurfaced, prompting a call for permanent solutions. Share your thoughts! #SanFrancisco #DreamforceAftermath #SFCleanup #HomelessIssue Subscribe👇: https://vist.ly/3mhd4nq Get Gear 👉: https://inspiredgear.vista.page/
#san francisco#dreamforce conference#city transformation#the grove restaurant#extra police#cleaning#david cohen#attendee safety#karthik pullagurla#underlying issues#homelessness#drug abuse#post-event#usual state#mayor london breed#temporary cleanup#business owners#permanent solution#public opinion#problem-solving.
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to be perfectly explicit and clear I have been extremely suicidal this past week and also have had a lot of self harm urges which has not been fun! no sir no ma'am but I have come to the conclusion that I would like my brain to want to live because that seems so much simpler than whatever the fuck is going on up there and honestly that's brought me a lot of peace. like I feel better...I just have to keep reminding myself
#suicide tw#also the idea that jts a permanent solution to a temporary problem is a mantra ive been repeating#idk#LIKE IM JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE DAMNNN
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