#people try to engage with me about my special interests and im like i really appreciate you but you're doing it Wrong

[etherealspacejelly]

im so jealous of people who have special interests that are facts based. like how am i supposed to communicate to people that my special interest isnt star trek the tv show its star trek the story. the characters. the themes and motifs.

people ask me stuff about the lore or the production and im like nah nah nah. idk any of that stuff. but i could spend 30 minutes analysing the scene in corbomite manouver where spock says "im s-" and what implications that has for his character and his relationship with jim.

i dont know how a mind meld works or what powers a phaser but i could write you an essay on the themes of found family in star trek v, including the significance of row row row your boat in the cyclical narrative.

"how does a transporter work" fuck if i know. can i tell you about 'good luck spock'???

[bluesey-182]

"idk maybe all those doctors and therapists were wrong, maybe im not autistic? maybe I'm a faker? i feel so normal and well adjusted?" *leaves the house* oh dear jesus god i am not a normal person

[myokk]

Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?

Hello angel!!!!

Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓

We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓

I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).

I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓

HAPPY ENDING:

Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.

Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶

They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺

When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.

Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)

I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓

SAD ENDING:

After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)

Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)

BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺

He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.

(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)

Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏

[boozybellybabe]

This is my pinned post, please (please!) read before dmming me!

I respond to most DMs as long as they're respectful. I like to chat about my kinks and tell hot drunken anecdotes and experiences. I love answering every kind of questions so send me lots of asks

please tho, when dmming me try to come up with something better than saying "hey" or "how are you" once or twice every day. I'm not looking for a daily interaction with people i dont know and it only makes me lose my interest

she/her, I'm 22 yo and 5'7 ish (i'm a tall girl!), european. Yes the pic is me but that's probably the only one you will see. Just know that I have red hair, and red is my favorite color.

More about me:

I'm european, currently working and sharing an appartment. I've always been into alcohol intox even before I knew what was it, but I didn't dare engage much to it. During summer (2024) I indulged heavily with friends from a non-kink point of view, and now I'm exploring it to its fullest. One of the consequences of drinking as hard as im drinking is growing a gut on a very skinny frame, which a lot of you seem to love.

My fav drinks include:

any kind of beer

wine, specially white (i prefer red wine mixed with coke)

jager + apple juice

vodka with anything, or neat

shots of any kind

I drink most days at least a couple beers, and get blackout drunk most weekends

things im into:

alcohol intox, praise, degradation, belly fetish, corruption, hangovers, drunk in public, slurring, lose of control, stumbling, humilliation, teasing

things im not into:

cnc, ageplay, scat

things i can be talked into

belly weight gain, burping, forced intox... maybe piss and vomit depending on the context?

Some non-kink interests of mine:

books, animal crossing, stardew, coffee, gym, cooking (im a really good cook)

FAQ (ill update it eventually)

Do you make custom content?

No I don't, I'm just trying to share my fantasies and experiences with like-minded people. Also I don't want to be on pornsites for the rest of my day

Are you looking for a bf/fwb/anything similar?

I'm not! certainly not on tumblr at least :)

[nomsfaultau]

thank you so much for writing mandatory family reunion. i just reread it for the eighth time. i think im going to dedicate my life to life to reading your other sbi fics until you update again. also; do you have any tips for committing to fics and not leaving them half-finished?

ahhhh that’s so sweet glad you enjoyed! As for writing fics, having it be your special interest really helps. But for more general advice on finishing:

-Don’t stick to just one story. Which seems counter intuitive! But inevitably you’re going to hit a snag in one story. So instead of stopping writing at all, switch projects. Writing involves a whole bunch of thinking, and stuff needs time to percolate in the back of your head. But having a small project to work on in the mean time keeps you engaged in the writing process, gives you practice, makes you feel like you’re making progress, and allows time to work out the other story. I personally have 1-2 main projects, Fault and MFR, and then rotate a couple back burner stories that I work on whenever I get inspiration and fully expect to have very slow progress and possibly never finish. Short stories, one shots, hell even just writing little one off scenes that don’t go anywhere. It’s a way to keep writing fun and thus you’re more likely to continue working on the stuff you’re trying to complete. Don’t feel bad if there’s breaks between working on your main project. Writing involves a lot of thinking and it takes time to do that.

-Devoting time to do that thinking also significantly helps. When you’re falling asleep can be a good time to rotate stories in your head. Could also be if you’re walking from place to place, or brushing your teeth, or other little gaps in the day. Even if you’re not physically writing, it’s still part of the process and can make it easier when you actually sit down to write because you know what scene you’re most excited to work on. Also, talking over your story idea with a friend is a great way to stay motivated if you can get over the mortifying ordeal of being known. You can bounce ideas off them, and other people’s investment in a project can be a great motivator to finish. Like legit a single ao3 comment once stopped me from my plan to abandon a fic. Reminding yourself why you (and other people) like the story makes it easier to want to continue.

-Keeping a rough outline of what you envision for the story can give you a road map to how close to done you are and where to go next. Just like you can hop between projects, I find jumping around the plot time line to write what scene I’m most interested in atm keeps me going instead of writing everything in order. Though, all writers have different degrees of plot planning, so that depends on your style.

-Art! I’m an artist, and while writing definitely fuels what I draw, I find doodling cool scenes I want to write really inspires me to keep going. This sorta falls under the same category of continuing to think about the story and motivating you to finish. -I found keeping a writing journal has improved how I view my writing. Basically, I’ll jot down a bullet point list of scenes worked on that week/month. Writing is a very slow process, so seeing a timeline of actual progression on a story makes it feel like I’m actually getting more out of my head and onto paper. I also jot down what ideas for scenes I came up with since that’s also part of writing, and might include a chill no stakes writing goal for that period, like work on X or Y project, or a particular scene. Sometimes my goal is just ‘write at least one sentence’. I give it lots of leeway, and accept that the muse may just be somewhere else that week. And if the goal isn’t met, no sweat! Life can get busy at times and it’s more important that you aren’t beating yourself up if it’s been awhile since you last touched a project. Forcing yourself to write a scene that isn’t ready won’t result in a good scene or an happy writer. Switch projects, give yourself time to think about it, take care of yourself, etc.

And, legitimately, don’t be afraid to abandon a piece. Maybe you’ll come back to it, maybe you won’t. It can feel disheartening to feel like you can’t seem to finish a project, but unfinished pieces also do a lot for you: they hone your craft, allow you a creative outlet, give you scenes that could potentially be reworked for later pieces, and most importantly were hopefully fun to write! Story crafting is a hobby that should bring you joy, not frustration and shame.

Like, I have stories that will never see the light of day and are just so I can have fun and poke it with a stick occasionally. I’m 100% confident in saying that every author will have tenfold the number of unfinished wips compared to complete works. That’s just part of the creative process: exploring different worlds to find the one you want to write.

Perhaps a fic might never get finished, but in the wise words of Technoblade: “if you enjoy it, it’s not time wasted, no?”

(Now, I think he was talking about murdering people, but the point still stands.)

[ot3]

hello!!! sorry if I'm wrong, but I remember seeing you do a manfred meta before?

Anonymous asked: or maybe it was not meta but something like people including headcanons into analysis?

this sounds familiar but im not sure if it was one post or anything... i don't think i've had too much to say about mvk i feel like i was just doing a bunch of interconnected bitching one day.

i think the only time i said much on the subject wsd when there was that one person dumping a whole essay about how he was not horribly abusive. my stance was i think even if he had been a perfect person otherwise if you murder someone's dad, and then raise them and let them believe they were responsible for murdering their own dad, and then try and frame them for a another murder so they will go to prison forever or maybe get the death penalty, that's still enough to be pretty damn abusive by my personal standards.

people using their own headcanons as part of character analysis does kind of annoy me depending on the context but i think in this specific instance. i was really pissed because one of this person's talking point was how one of their friends was a manfred von karma kinnie and they werent a threatening person because they had a special interest in thomas the tank engine???? and i was just so thrown by seeing that because. like what the actual fuck are you saying at that point. and this was a grown person too im not bullying teens here i promise.

i think most of my point that i was making during this time was that i feel like people sometimes confuse Antagonistic engagement with a text for Critical engagement with a text. sometimes when a thing presents a character as a massive piece of shit that everyone hates it's because theyre a massive piece of shit and everyone should hate them. in circumstances like this i get the sense that people are trying to outsmart media by refusing to meet a story where it's at in terms of characters who exist to serve a narrative function.

[nells-universe]

(⚠️pokemon irl / rotomblr blog, unreality warning!!⚠️ read ooc before interacting!!)

hii hello!! my name is nellie but you can call me nell :) im a girl and im 15!! i have audhd too so umm please be nice

i became a trainer last year but i finally wanted to set out on a journey, and im trying to become the champion!! i love aliens and cryptids and i really want to prove that they're real!! mostly because people still don't understand beheeyem!!

please take me seriously.

MY TEAM!!!!

peridot — espeon — my partner pokemon and best friend!! she loves going exploring with me and sleeping in the sun :D

bixbite — beheeyem — the first pokemon i caught in the wild (when she was still an elgyem!!) she's very curious and likes to follow me around!!

sapphire — boldore — my main battling pokemon!! i found her when i first moved to unova!! she's very affectionate and excitable!!

vivi — eevee — non battler and emotional support pokemon!! she has super cool fur and she's very soft!!

i also have an egg!! no idea what itll be but i hope to take good care of it!!

//OOC UNDER CUT

[also check out pokemoncryptids THEYRE VERY COOL AND INSPIRED ME A LOT!!!]

asks / anons!

musharna mail / malice is off!

pelliper mail is on!

magic anons are off!

in-character anon hate is on!

basically anything else that you can think of is on!

dni / boundaries:

- don't send me any asks that have romantic or sexual implications. this includes sexual humor, joke flirting, or anything similar. i don't care if it's a joke, it makes me very uncomfortable

- if you're gonna be a jerk you can just. leave. i don't need to put up with that 🫶 don't call anyone cringe, and don't bring that stuff onto my blog

- pokemon are treated very similarly to animals here, so don't sexualize them. don't be weird.

tagging guide / content warnings

#pkmn irl resources— reblogged tips and resources for making a rotomblr rp blog

#ic vent— in character vent posts

#blog boosting— new blog intros, reblogging for engagement

#non rotomblr blog— i'll occasionally reblog posts where OP isn't a rotomblr user, this tag is just so people know they aren't involved in any sort of RP

#pokemon pics— ...pokemon pics

- there will be a lot of references to illness, hospitals, or other medical related things. this is all tagged under the general tag of #CW: medical

- this blog will be fairly low stakes for now, but i do plan on making a bigger story for it! all potentially triggering things will be tagged with #CW: [thing], tell me if you need anything tagged or if i forgot something!!

other / about me!

- nell uses she/her, but when referring to me (the mod,) use they/them or he/him!

- i'm autistic and i have adhd! there might be interactions that seem awkward or unnatural, so please try and be patient with me ^_^

- pokemon is my primary special interest, and cryptids come pretty close!! i'm less interested in the supernatural side of them (mothman, jersey devil, etc.) but i do love aliens!! a lot!!

[ all likes and follows come from @.peridotporygon ]

[drifloonz]

I also wanna see hcs of Steven with an autistic reader (dating hcs ig, I'm also a Strangled Red simp and I'm autistic)

remember me. im alive . Im here to heal the drought . i am too tired mentally to do the whole format shebang maybe ill dress it up when i wake up ( it is currently 6:21 am for me and im not tired yet )

Actually i dont think i do anything that extra or fancy with my formatting other than the title which i added right now. so . Enjoy

steven x autistic reader!

♡ he's autistic as well ... like that "I hate people" type'a autism. at least nowadays! i think he used to have trouble with volume and tone before the incident and just generally get easily overwhelmed... and either freeze or start to go on a walk to take his mind off of things. stuff like that.

♡ He's also insanely autistic about battle strategies and its his special interest of sorts . like... not that much, he did ( in my interpretation and what is kind of implied? ) sweep everything with miki because she's a special charizard who just kind of. Is stronger in all ways.

♡ BUT! i think i mean this in the more pokeani style of battles - he's crafty and very observant of his surroundings and how to "Cheat" battles with it. wink

♡ anyways yeah autistic reader . hi . You came for dating hcs right .

♡ he tends to just live in his house, lurking, stalking, barely moving out of bed to eat - so you might have to help him with that. ... buuuut, if you're similar, then you two will simply just sit in bed staring at the ceiling all day . napstablook core

♡ he hasn't had much stimulation outside of taking care of his basic needs and like. i'unno. being alive in general. so if you have an interest he isn't too aware of, he's always very happy to listen.

♡ he's an extremely good listener- he'll be nodding and mostly silent, but he may ask questions once he's more comfortable with you. he is actively trying to engage with your interests, although his own autism makes his tone a little stagnant- if he sounds uninterested, it's not intentional. his voice just comes off like that.

♡ he particularly likes games and music although the interests and energy for them have wavered a lot for him personally - so if your interests align with those sorts of things, he'll definitely be on board. you being into something in a genre he used to like definitely gives him enough energy to try again.

♡ this eventually does end up with him having more energy to engage with things that used to give him joy in a similar way . mostly playing games... like, a pokemon stadium or battle revolution game if those existed in-universe? because he can't exactly uh. Battle for real anymore without hurting those around him. of course, he always has charizard on his teams front and center. it's not Her. but, it'll suffice as long as he distracts himself.

♡ truly, it's just like this. introduce things to him and he'll be eager to try or listen or talk to you about them.

♡ if you get overwhelmed anywhere, he is quick to move you out of the area and also maybe take away the overwhelming Element. if it's a person, well. he'll just basically glare at them. a silent 'Fuck Off'

♡ also he will personally appreciate it if you get him more clothes. having just a few sets is fine for his depression, but the more he realizes it, the fabric feels awful sometimes. mainly, his trainer outfit he usually goes outside with - it's very worn and torn and the material was always a little cheap... if you get him a replacement, he'll be all the happier for it.

♡ he'd also give the old one to you if you cared about that sort of thing, but he'd be tentative because. well. it's worn and torn...?

♡ unless you fix it up and sew it somehow. that'd be nice. Im getting offtrack

♡ if you draw, write, or do creative things - he's always happy to see them. he likes to simply wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as he looks at what you're doing now and again... it's, calming? like, really calming. to be honest, he could do that forever and ever.

♡ until you two get hungry of course. but, until then.

♡ he does also of course engage and ask about things like your OCs ( if you have them ), worlds, writing, dynamics, headcanons - anything, everything.

♡ generally things like this are what he's happiest with . watching something with you or watching you do something as he lays back and relaxes. seeing you enjoy the things you like makes him feel a lot better even though its something so simple .

♡ ... S!3v3n is also similar, he's just much more quiet- basically nonverbal - about how he goes about it. those red eyes will always be watching intently though .

_____

sorry if these were barebones i didnt rlly know what to Go off of but yeah . he is autistic too !!!! the Tismry

[raayllum]

im new to the fandom, so I miss a lot of the discourse (helped ofc by the fact you're kinda the only dp blog I follow), so everytime you mention the s4 backlash I'm like....how in the world could people hate that season or rayllum in it? It doesn't compute for me!

The last ship I was particularly engaged with, has a lot of similarities with rayllum. They were best friends, life partners before they were ever /romantic/ life partners. And they went through a /lot/ of trauma, miscommunication, and being on opposite sides of the same fight, etc etc.

the difference to rayllum was that they never rlly gave each other the grace they need. They also never talked on screen, but unlike rayllum it wasn't because it was the best option for them, it's just that the writers didn't want to include it ever - to the point that when they finally did an episode addressing it, it landed...very flat? Because it was about six seasons in, addressing things as far back as the second season, that they'd apparently never spoken to each other about before (they were tragically engaged when this happened).

Rayllum GENERALLY but especially in s4 have a really special place in my heart, because they feel very realistically messy - but it doesn't feel like it's there so there's some drama to keep audiences hooked. It feels authentic, and is one of those rare cases where it strengthens their relationship. I definitely could buy that rayllum would survive anything that hit their relationship by the end of s3, but getting to actually SEE that and see how much they're willing to work through out of love and respect for each other? Fantastic.

(also like it's such good character development....i am with u in the s4 defense squad. is there a squad? If there is I'm in it)

First off welcome to the fandom and I hope you're having a good time!!

The fact that my blog is mostly discourse free cause while I tag accordingly (fandom nonsense and dragons gets salty for potential blacklisting purposes) I always worry I can dip too far into that on occasion (I do my best not to unless being called out by name, and even then mostly do my best to ignore stuff), but there's not too much discourse within TDP in general — at least not in the Rayllum corner, luckily.

I think that's why the S4 backlash really surprised and threw me for a loop, because my partner and I finished the season at like 7AM on release day and while different than expected, we loved it and thought it was great from the start. Then we went online and people in the fandom who I'd largely always agreed with were having a really hard time with the season and it was disheartening at least to not have many people to talk to about why 1) S4 is TDP's thematically strongest season thus far and that's still true, 2) it's Ezran's best season imo, and 3) it does a lot of things really really well in really interesting ways.

I always try to never come down Too Hard on the s4 backlash just because people are of course entitled to their feelings/opinions then as well as now (even if some people's tunes have definitely changed), but a lot of it did feel sometimes short sighted if not immature.

Like soo many people are still mad that Rayla and Callum broke up in an offscreen graphic novel, when S4 would still be S4 regardless of whether TTM existed and like... if Rayla worrying that she failed (again) and went off on her own (again) to protect Callum was a big logical leap, then that person honestly just wasn't paying attention; there's not much else to say there. I also think it's just a strange choice to assume that Nothing Major would change the second you find out about a timeskip; like, almost everything else is status quo, Rayla being gone is the One Major Change and people couldn't handle that being a Surprise?

Like you said, conflict between a couple is not inherently a bad thing; it can be good and interesting, and this was always a relationship hurdle I think a lot of Rayllums (myself included) expected Rayla and Callum to have to tackle. Not liking how extreme or 'dramatic' it was (ie. season long arc > just a few episodes, or Rayla leaving > just trying to leave) is fair enough, but given that it's rooted in so much of Rayla's character, I'd much rather take a long way around approach that's in depth. I'm also just Glad and Grateful that the show is tackling it and treating it like the issue it is rather than sweeping things under the rug.

The fact that Callum's version of anger wasn't the one people wanted is another issue, but again — his anger went the way I'd always thought it might if he just went through enough trauma, and even if he had yelled at her, I don't think the season would've necessarily gone any different than it did other than them crying more early on. Which I've written and wouldn't have minded, but I also don't dislike the alternative route canon took — of course they were never going to get all variations out there, but Callum is cold as hell and being a bit of a jerk while also being valid and tempering himself because he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she wants to hurt him (and Callum has always been very very bad at being/staying mad with Rayla or Ezran anyway).

I saw a lot of pushback against Rayllum being 'platonic' (which was annoying as an aromantic person lemme tell you, as though platonic is lesser), being "broken up for no reason" (Rayla being hyper-independent was not a secret and always going to be what threatened to rip them apart; they are also still Visibly and Repeatedly In Love with each other how is that broken up), or that they didn't get to have a Big Feelings Time in S4.

With that in mind, there's a lot that also matters in a relationship beyond just Open Communication, tbh. There's going to be times in life where you're not able to or unwilling to talk about certain things (given that S4 is maybe a week, I think that's reasonable; especially when Rayllum still haven't talked to each other about it as of s5 and no one I saw have an issue in S4 about it has complained about it there) and like... how do you treat each other when you're still mad or confused and haven't talked everything out? Do you still take care of each other, are you still doing your best to be considerate of each other (even if you're also not going to be perfect)? That shit matters just as much if not more as people able to sit down and hash things out.

I think the truth is a lot of the things that pissed people off about S4 would've been true even if the opposite things had happened:

N'than is flat and under developed unlike Ellis → N'than is more developed → why is N'than taking away from screentime for other characters?

The Sunfire plotline feels disconnected from the rest of the story (nvm that Viren's arc from 1x06 onwards doesn't affect any main character again until 3x04) → the Sunfire plot line has more connections to the main cast crammed in → more complaints about pacing and things feeling overly stuffed, as scenes already change from one to the next quite clearly

Callum and Rayla have a big talk sometime between 4x03-4x07 → this doesn't give Callum enough time to be angry / makes him seem unreasonable because he's admitted he was mostly worried but is still not fully letting her in despite her spilling her guts to him (and in what world would Rayla give excuses, again, when she knows he's the one hurting and taking priority in her mind)

S4's humor was bad because there were fart jokes (in one episode) → the crowlord's joke is so much worse than the fart jokes imo and is on par with the walnut joke in 1x06. also 1-2 scenes with jokes that didn't work for you out of 9 whole ass episodes is like. you're just a wuss i'm sorry

The Sunfire plot line is boring → will never not feel like "I just can't connect or be interested in politics and religious disagreements when it's mostly about Black people for Some Reason (racism)" to me tbh

There was no way to please everyone especially after a three year hiatus (because people think, For Some Reason, that how much time it takes for a story to come out should change how that story is written and it really, really doesn't) but yeah. The internet showed their asses and I was Not Impressed lmao

TLDR; a lot of the S4 backlash was "I'm mad this isn't happening now and I'm stressed out/worried that it won't be" as opposed to "this is only a problem if it never happens at all, but I have faith that it will," and I will love S4 forever. The Callum-Viren parallels being ramped up, the theme of duality and moving "doing terrible things for love" to the forefront with multiple characters (Rayla, Terry, Viren, Claudia), seeing Ezran step into his role as king, Callum's arc being shown > told, the set up for the possession plot line, Janaya's engagement and relationship development + Amaya and Janai's independent arcs? Chef's kiss. S4 is my best friend and its Rayllum dynamic is on par with S3 for me, and I am very grateful the fandom's attitude towards s4 and s4 Rayllum is a lot warmer / more reasonable now

When Callum says "unconditionally" in 5x01 and all their stuff in S5 we know and believe it because we've seen them fight and work so hard to come back from some pretty terrible brinks in imperfect ways, and I'll always love s4 for that. The most aspec Rayllum season by far

[autisticlee]

when you're autistic and can't mask and genuinely don't know how to talk to and interact with people, but you really want friends or something.....people tell you "go to places and ~just talk to people~ it's easy" but when you ask how to talk to people they say "just say anything" but you're super confused because any attempts to try to speak either end in getting completely ignored, bullied, or worse, because you're "weird and creepy" and can't say things right, make everyone uncomfortable, and making strange noises to communicate when you can't speak actual words isn't acceptable. that's if you can even physically say anything at all! because if you struggle to speak in general, then it's game over before it even begins. small talk seems simple because you can script most of it, but I can't even do that irl. even online when I do it, it never goes past that. i never feel connected to people, get bored/uninterested, don't know what to do after, and don't know when it's appropriate to start talking about special interests, if at all, because most people dont share my interests at all

no one has advice for that besides "just do it" and no one is ever patient or kind enough to try to engage themsleves, because no one understands how hard speaking is! it's always expected that *I* initiate everything and have to do all the work because im the one that wants a friend. no one is interested in me first, so no one will be the one to initiate first. i've gone to things alone, awkwardly did everything alone, tried to talk to people and failed, but no one approached me first or tried to converse and be friends. if someone did try to talk to me, i'd be so overwlmed with sensory processing disorder that i dont hear them and before i can try to clarify what they said, they walk away. my processing speed is so slow that i cant react before they get lost in the crowd.

I always end up extremely overwhelmed, burnt out, and need to find a quiet place alone to have at least a few meltdown or shutdowns. i'm struggling and suffering the whole time, but i'm "just doing it" because people keep telling me I need to "just try" and no one will help or support me and my needs and struggles so I have no choice but to put myself in dangerous situations where I can't be fully aware of my surroundings because i'm so disabled by my brain. I don't know how to behave if i'm not following and copying someome i'm with. instead I just dissociate until i'm not present and i'm unaware of myself and everyone and thing around me, while also being painfully aware of all the sensory input that wants to send me into meltdowns.

realistically, I don't think I *should* be going anywhere alone. I need help. I need support. I've gotten into near trouble with strangers who see me as an easy target but somehow got lucky and got away. I can't ask got help if I need it. I can't scream if one of those strangers got ahold of me. actually one DID get ahold of me once. I don't remember how I got oht of it. i dissociated so bad I have no memory after being grabbed...I don't know how to react to trouble correctly. I don't know basic common sense needed for being out alone. *I* know i'm in danger by being out alone but everyone in my life ignores my needs and struggles and forces me to either do everything alone or rot in my tiny dark room alone. so I decide to prove to them doing things alone is dangerous and doesn't help me. i'll tell them the dangerous stuff I got into they don't care. they just lecture me for not acting normal.

but I try. I try so hard. I hate every moment of ot and never get anythjg out of it except misery and pain and mental and emotional turmoil. but people don't believe me that i'm actually trying because they swear it will work if I "just try" so I keep trying and keep having a horrible time. it always ends in me feeling horrible physically and emotionally, being burnt out and disappointed that i didnt make friends like i was told i would just by going there alone. going to places does not mean you automatically make friends!!!!!! everyone else goes there *with* friends. they aren't looking for new ones. people who are good at making friends don't need to go places to make friends, because they already have them! so no social person who is good at talking and really nice is going to be there looking for friends, see i'm alone, and become my friend. hell, most social people talk one look at my awkward ass and turn the other way. they dont want someone awkward around them. my first impression is horrible. that's what people judge by. it's expected that i'm the one to try to break into a group of people and sell my soul to them and make them want to add me to their already established friend group. but i'll never know what group i'd fit in. I barely have the social energy to be around a crowd of people. how am I expected to interact with even a single person??? when you don't have the skill, social energy, or general ability to do any of the expected social stuff and cant mask on top of it, you have no other choice but to accept being alone forever...😞

[misspermitted]

A lot of talk about infodumping as a love language on my feed recently and having the ‘tism and this blog I naturally want to contribute with my experience.

A lot of people are saying they infodump as a way to share their joy with others, which isn’t really why I do it. But when I think about how I feel when my ND friends infodump on me, I do share their joy. So maybe that is where the ND urge to infodump comes from, and I’ve just been conditioned for so long that infodumping is bad and no one enjoys it, that I can’t view it as sharing joy.

Why I Infodump

For me infodumping is a love language primarily because when I do it I feel safe with someone. I’ve been continuously shamed into thinking my passion is an inconvenience of embarrassing, and so I become very quiet in most social situations. When I infodump it means I feel like the person won’t judge me.

Usually the first time I infodump on someone it’s a conscious choice, and I only do it a little to test the waters. If the person immediately shames me or tries to shut me up, I put it in my head to never unmask around them and usually don’t put a lot of effort into the acquaintance from there on out.

(I know there has also been a lot of talk about NT and ND people trying to bridge communication gaps, and my immediate detachment from people who won’t engage with infodumping is probably not healthy for that. At the same time, while I respect people’s efforts to have NT friends and such, that’s their choice, not mine. Friendships are where I broaden my opinions and empathy in a safe and happy space, not where I combat ableism and prejudice. I don’t have the mental stability for that atm.)

How I Feel When ND Friends Infodump On Me

With my ND friends, I actively try to encourage them to infodump. My personal reason for this is because I really enjoy it, I feed off other peoples excitement (because my ADHD brain cannot produce its own dopamine apparently) so I find it just as spoon-rejuvenating as my own special interests. I also just love learning new things.

However, on the friendship side of things, I really like knowing someone is comfortable enough with me to share their interests. It makes me so mad when my ND friends apologise for infodumping because you shouldn’t have to apologise for being you! Im not mad at them, I’m mad that people make us feel embarrassed about who we are and being excited. Sometimes listening to my ND friends infodump is when I mask the most tbh. I try to communicate to them clearly through questions and facial expressions that I am also excited about their interest, when I don’t usually ask questions and have resting autism face.

I also always feel so much more deeply connected with a friend knowing about their interests and what makes them happy or angry than things like their childhood school or favourite colour. I also find sometimes with ND friends we infodump all our trauma on each other straight away, which means I know way way too much about them already haha

(I also wanna say that infodumping trauma is a bit different for me than when someone trauma dumps. For me the main difference between the two is that trauma dumping becomes something you have to emotionally support the person through, whereas infodumping trauma is the person telling you everything they’ve figured out about themselves and how they understand it. Trauma dumping is very draining for me, it feels like I’m holding all the trauma afterwards and it’s usually very feelings and emotions heavy. Infodumping trauma is like “this is everything I’ve read about it what I experienced and this is how I’m struggling to intellectualise it.” And then usually I respond with a similar experience I had and things I read and this goes on for hours.)

[etherealspacejelly]

does anyone else find it really difficult and frustrating trying to infodump to people? like. either i just get going and they change the subject or they seem really uninterested, or they dont understand that i dont want to talk about the Facts about my special interest i want to talk about my Opinions and the way it makes me Feel

someone will be like oh hey infodump to me about doctor who. tell me some doctor who facts. and im like. ok thats great and i appreciate you encouraging me to talk about it but. i dont Know that many facts off the top of my head. what i Want to tell you about is how there are so many Ruby and Rose parallels and that the use of puppets for the Meep and the Goblin King and the Stooky Babbies was really cool because practical effects give the actors something physical to react to so their performance is more engaging and believable and how the platonic relationship between the Doctor and Donna is especially compelling to me as an aroace person and and and

you know??

but they expect me to be like. idk. rattling off facts about the series and the writers and the episodes and its like. no!!! i dont want to tell you exactly how many episodes the weeping angels have featured in i want to tell you that Blink was really creative in its story telling because it barely features the Doctor at all!! and the scene where Sally talks to the recording and the conversation finally makes sense is so cool and interesting!! and we really get to know these characters over the course of just one episode and then we never see them again!!

its just so Frustrating because i want to infodump so bad all the time but i hate feeling like im boring people or that im infodumping Wrong and i always end up being the person everyone infodumps to because im a really good listener but when i do it i always end up either talking to myself or writing about it on tumblr.

i just. idk sorry for the vent im just kind of upset because i was really excited about the new doctor who episodes and a friend invited me to talk about it and just. ended up asking if theres ever been a character with my brothers name because there was one with my sisters name and now im upset because i dont know!! and i dont care!! thats not what i wanted to talk about!!

ugh

i think i might be on the verge of a meltdown and it feels so stupid but. this Always happens

[ladyhindsight]

i know this isnt rlly ur thing but the fandom is so cooked............ just trying to exist as an anti incest fan is impossible i constantly get told off by other fans im stupid and too serious or missing the symboism idk the fans make me think im takin crazy pills its crazy cause sometimes i think ur too harsh on cc but like the incest stuff i agree with and 4 some reason thats the hardest opinion for fans 2 accept idgi incest is worse than cassandra bein repetitive??

In general, it is problematic to declare certain views as correct under the guise of then ignoring differing ones. Why would some readers get to decide what is too serious and, for what even, stupid? What makes positive views towards the books more respectable and virtuous than those offering valid criticism? What gives the right to hand-wave the concerns some readers have just because you have no issue with them and raise that point above all others? When you suppress the opinions of others and tower over them by dictating how a book should be interpreted and liked, you are less likely to get those who think contrary interested in your views, albeit positive or negative.

Some of the opinions I’ve contested (for instance, those concerning the incest theme or the repetitive nature of Clare’s writing) and that I’ve ever come across seem (personally) to be approached superficially to some extent, sometimes even in untruthful way because of the incapability to understand where the criticism in question even comes from or how it even came about. It is easier to compare two seemingly similar things than to understand their meaning in their own contexts.

I know that no one really wants to acknowledge or listen to anything negative about what they love so much. It seems to be a downright personal insult or attack on your character when something so important and special to you is criticized. For which I think it’s important to separate yourself from that, know who you are and what you think and why, to recognize that something can be shit and improved and what more and that you still like it and/or are entertained by it.

Fiction is the place to safely entertain ideas so far out of our own lives, to challenge our thinking and ethics and moral even. So it’s not necessarily the content of a work that’s interesting or disturbing but rather the implementation of different elements and how they are executed with the rest of what makes a story. And that’s usually where I find my criticism towards Clare rising. Not what is included rather than how it is carried out and presented in the context of this particular author’s writing.

Everyone is entitled and free to their own opinions, as well as to how they consider and value others. It’s the tone of expression and how you treat people in face of disagreement that’s more noteworthy, I think. During the earlier years of the blog, I did receive messages from readers who were less than pleased with its contents or my approach on criticizing Clare’s writing, but I’ve always said and will always say that I’m just one person on the internet offering opinions, viewpoints, and criticism, and whether someone finds that helpful or not is not for me to decide. Though I am endlessly glad for all the people who interact and have interacted with me here and offered wider perspective and insights on different topics concerning TSC.

I don’t know what wisdom to offer, if any, but maybe it’s easier and brings less weariness to just do your own thing and engage less with the readership that does not welcome that type of discussion. I’ve personally had to do a lot of work on reflecting on things that I liked and their relationship to me (Clare’s works as the glaring example here), and coming to terms with that is not an overnight experience. Sometimes it’s also easier on yourself to think I disagree and move on than trying to understand each individual psychology behind every opinion.

I get that I’m sometimes harsh in my critiques. It’s just that I get feelings and the snark comes out, and I’m prone to hyperbole in terms of humor, so the end result is what it is. I’m not entirely happy and more disappointed in retrospect how I’ve conducted myself on some instances while trying to find the proper words and tone when approaching whatever the topic is at hand. And sometimes it doesn’t work and things go to shit. I’m good at being mean to words on paper, but it’s not how I want to be when talking and messaging with real people. :’)

[ihrtjiro]

hii !! won't mention my name but just use 🦕

gender preference

i am bisexual with a pref for men <3

hobbies/interests

i love playing volleyball !! it's everything to me, i love dance, i love being active, i love anime and i love the paranormal and the occult, i also love watching documentaries especially ones ab quirky crimes (ex cyanide wife india case) i love deep talks and delving into a deeper meaning of things, i love spirituality, especially manifesting and shifting, i just love talking lolzies im a d1 yapper with no one to yap to </3, i also like to skateboard, i love children (not in that way ☝️) im very good with kids, that's alll

likes/dislikes (or just things about you)

yappiter yapyapington the 3rd. i love to talk, i love long conversations, that are nice and engaging. i hate people who use disabilities as a joke, i hate immature boys, i hate people who are immature, i hate people who think they're entitled to things, i dont like when people treat other people differently just cause they think they might not be on the same knowledge level as they are, i hate toxic masculinity, i hate toxic femininity (like thee "i could take your man if i wanted to! 😝") love healthy madicultiniy and femininity, love people who have a lot of thoughts and dreams and beliefs and ideas, i love to debate with people, i love to hear other people's interests, i love my religion (hinduism)

personality

when i'm at my best i am a loud, childish person, i do say that i am mature though and i have a strong sense of emotional maturity and intelligence, i get excited and hyper easy, kinda short attention span depending on the activity, can be very outgoing and loud, i can be quite emotional but that's only with new people and with my parents, i am strong minded and i am confident.

appearance (optional but it does help!)

milk chocolate, i have deep blue eyes and i have black wavy hair that's like always in a ponytail lolzies, i am pretty fit, and im pretty skinny.

any characters you want me to avoid!

pls no mineta..

a/n; oh my goshh i saw this one specifically and got so excited to write ittt! i hope you like this because i got really into it!

your match is…

izuku “deku” midoriya !!

as much as he may not get it entirely, he does try to support your super spooky interests as much as possible! (although he does enjoy the crime documentaries! esp if there’s heros in them, he loves to jot down small notes about them when they’re mentioned, even if it’s only briefly he can get a lot down!)

but what midoriya DOES get is your love of yapping! because we all know deku has his special interests that he could go on about for HOURS!

…and in fact he does! there are countless nights you two spend together in each others dorm rooms yapping the night away about your favorite documentaries and heroes!

deku definitely tries some of your sports/activities like volleyball, and maybe even dance! izuku loves doing stuff WITH you so you two always share your hobbies with each other and try them out together!

i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to ihrtjiro. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.

[no-stupid-questions-official]

rewording my question because some people misinterpreted it:

i’m incredibly protective of my interests. and it’s gotten in the way of me being able to engage with my special interest’s fandom (i only really feel comfortable talking about it with people who arent in it). which is hella frustrating obviously.

and when i say incredibly protective, i mean INCREDIBLY. like i start to get pissed/scared/sick-feeling whenever i try to engage in the fandom a lot of the times.

it’s not that i cant get over a “im the only Correct and Right one” mindset— when i mentioned that in my original question, it was just a side note that (in hindsight) i should’ve left out. it’s the fact that i feel the need to protect my interests so intensely that i feel physically unwell/sick.

so my question is: how do i get over that so i can enjoy my special interest with other people who enjoy it as well?

-

[drdemonprince]

hello hello, i am autistic with my special interests being psychology and philosophy and because I'm super into activism and social justice issues as well a lot of my conversations with friends always go in the direction of talking about trauma and classism racism ableism, all the isms and i've had trouble keeping relationships because i'm a "bummer". i don't think im necessarily being negative or trauma dumping but i'm just talking about these things that i think about all the time that interest me and they just so happen to be very sad topics. while i know that i should embrace my special interests and enjoy them however i want i also am aware that constantly talking about sad things and everything wrong in the world is emotionally taxing and draining on the people around me. do you have any advice for helping to change subjects? i've tried talking about more light hearted things but they aren't my special interests and i get bored easily...

I relate to this a lot, and it's a problem I see play out in some of my relationships. Without meaning to, we sometimes get into a mutual downward spiral of only talking about bleak things.

My suggestion is to get you and your friends together for some activities. Not a video game that you can play passively while still discussing the looming threat of climate change or that horrible self-esteem ruining thing your dad once said. Challenging, dynamic, hands-on activities that either have to be discussed while you are doing them, or that are so labor intensive that they prevent you talking in depth while engaging in them.

many Autistics tend to be indoorsy nerds and so we miss out on the genuine bonding experience that is playing on a sports team with someone, for instance. You barely have to speak but you develop a real sense of trust in and gratitude for one another and learn to read one another on an instinctual feeling non verbal level. and you feel the genuine reward of accomplishing something with support, which is something many of us are not familiar with.

I'm uncoordinated as shit, i was in special ed gym, so im not saying it has to be joining the local intramural soccer team. It can be things like building a complicated lego set, organizing records or comic books, helping someone clean out their house, developing a wiki or database of some kind for a fandom or mutual interest, tending to a garden, volunteering at a soup kitchen, visiting a museum, babysitting someone's kids, power washing the deck, going for a jog, visiting an unfamiliar nature trail and documenting the plant life, giving someone a manicure, anything that is challenging and collaborative and ideally somewhat tactile (because most of us are really damn dissociated from our bodies and from physical space).

I used to really discount any form of connection that was not rooted in the exchange of ideas and really intense personal disclosures. I thought everything else was superficial, dull, and not "real". i was so incredibly fucking wrong. i love discussing complex topics and connecting over real raw shit with people but life cannot be all or only that. and there are real, valuable, loving connections to be found in getting a team together to tear down the sets after the end of a play, learning a complicated dance routine with somebody, having someone teach you how to sew for the very first time. and then talking about it. you wont like everything you try but some of these activities will hook you enough that theyll become an interest you can make pleasant conversation about too.