#at prioritizing those things
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"idk maybe all those doctors and therapists were wrong, maybe im not autistic? maybe I'm a faker? i feel so normal and well adjusted?" *leaves the house* oh dear jesus god i am not a normal person
#text post#okay to reblog#also to be clear im not a 'normal' person at home but it all feels so normal to me#like what allistic person listens to the same album 20 times in 36 hours and plays 160 levels of a game in 10 of those hours#also i can't drive and im unemployed bc i can't find a job that i could work at with my disabilities that is accessible without a car#i struggle to feed and bathe myself and mostly only do it bc im living with someone who cares about me so i try to be better#at prioritizing those things#when I'd really rather just stay engaged with whatever I've hyperfocused on or with my special interests#and even with the people i live with i still greatly struggle to understand tone and body language#but when im being 'weird' by myself or with people who deeply love and accept me... it feels normal#but throw me out in public? or put me around people that im not extreeeeemely close with? YIKES
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How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
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rough day...
#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around#i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage#poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh#i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#eddie dear#alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done#wait fuck. what where they#well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up#so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!
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i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.
#and peeta Goes Through It too but hes there!!!!!!!! hes always there and hes kind and artistic and peaceful and good and everything that#the games could never destroy (the hijacking couldve but he found his way back. he still wonders whats real sometimes but he knows. he know#who he is. a painter a baker and a boy who loves. she reminds him of that love too)#anyways :( katniss longs for peetas arms and nobodys been this gentle with her since her father died and she stopped letting her mother#hold her. and peeta does#something about the way he holds her so so gently with so much love and care despite all the destruction and how peeta counteracts the fire#in katniss. the one that tells her she needs to protect and defend and prioritize keeping her family alive and keep her guard up. but hes#there to comfort her and hold her and protect her and those r all the things katniss doesnt get the privilege of thinking about because she#always thinking about who she needs to protect#its so personal to me. god i am Not okay rn#i have a rehearsal before school tmr and i am sooooo sleepy but. insane thoughts can never wait#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#peeniss#< the real ship name#the hunger games#thg#late night thoughts & all that jazz#🫀
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I love Deanna Troi because she’s representative of an autistic experience you don’t see on TV a lot which is “I learned all about human interaction the same way that one might learn about cool bugs so I know what makes people tick and in THEORY I know the right things to say in social situations but socializing like that is not the least bit natural to me and I don’t know what to do if the situation doesn’t match up with what I studied.” Except for her instead of having JUST learned about human interaction she is also psychic and so she partially relies on that too.
The episode where she loses her powers and suddenly cannot read people at all, not even to the level humans usually can, totally screws up trying to give therapy, and becomes so distraught she tries to resign from her job as a therapist, is so real. Like listen if she wasn’t autistic that wouldn’t have been such a big deal. Deanna Troi is an empath with low empathy, she’s using her psychic powers to compensate for her symptoms.
Also the episode where she hears some annoying music and completely loses her mind about it and screams and sobs and must be put into a medically induced coma because she’s so upset by the music and the alien that made her hear the annoying music seems genuinely confused about why it bothered her so much (meaning that like, that wasn’t the intended or normal effect of his annoying music ability).
Even outside those episodes where it’s so obvious though, everything she says to people tends to read as extremely scripted, like she knows it’s what she ought to say but it isn’t what she would say if she was just being herself. Queen of masking. What is the real you like, if you even still have one? She’s just like me for real
#also we can pretend that shes wearing those stupid outfits bc she had some kind of sensory issue w the uniform and got accommodations#even though of course in real life the reason she was in those outfits was just sexism being prioritized over uniform regulations =(#oh AND her thing about chocolate. thats her safe food and there is no WAY everyone else is so bothered by replicator versions of food#star trek#star trek tng#deanna troi
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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Genuinely think some folks need to remove how we, the audience, see characters and relationships from an outside perspective from how those characters actually interact. Like y'all ask for nuance and I'm telling you that just because Nancy has gone through trauma and absolutely deserves to be as messy and complicated and hurt as she wants, doesn't mean Robin wouldn't think twice about dating her?
It's not about whose fault it is or centering a male character, it's about how Robin, the character, would interpret and internalize the facts she knows. She has no idea what exactly Nancy has been through, like we have. She encouraged Steve and Nancy in S4 to get back together, she comforted him when Nancy went straight back to Jonathan. Robin's place as Steve's best friend, someone she trusts implicitly, the person she wants to combine with, puts Steve as an important aspect of her life!
It's not that she hates Nancy! It's that even though they broke up a year and a half ago, there's some unresolved or redeveloping feelings there for Steve. It's not that I think Steve could/would/should be hurt or angry about his best friend dating his ex. It's that, in my opinion, Robin, from what we see of her, doesn't seem inclined to date a friend's ex. It's about Robin, and her personality, and that means her friendship and love of Steve.
#anti ronance#finda's rambles#stranger things#idk its about robin for me. she would put her friendship with steve above a romantic relationship with anyone#struggling to put this into words but its frustrating when people claim we're making it about steve when i dont feel that way#to me im prioritizing Robin. and stobin i guess#it also seems like people hate being reminded that robin wants to live in steves brain. and that WOULD factor into her choices#that may affect him. yknow. like dating his ex.#its got nothing to do with how i feel about the stancy breakup (messy but if they TALKED could be worked through)#i also don't think they're compatible and have multiple reasons i simply don't vibe with the ship#but those aren't misinterpreted just ignored i guess
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ice cold take but i hate how male centered fandom is
#i love A Guy and i’m not ashamed of being attracted to men it’s nothing like that#i just like. hate how with every single New Thing there’s The Man that ppl universally pick#and prioritize over literally every other character#and by god they should do that and have fun doing that!! but like#where are the women enjoyers. u can love ur guy but where are the women LOVERSSSSS#and yes colorism has everything to do w it too#like we saw this with astarion. we see this with lucanis.#and i adore both of those characters#bc it’s not about The Characters it’s the fandom at large#and like#i’m just so sick of fandom at large NEVER CHANGING. always centering themselves around their one man.#and i never see mutuals doing this#bc i do not follow ppl who gravitate towards characters based on their proximity to perceived masculinity and whiteness#and i think the daddyification that both of these characters are undergoing is due to this. fandom’s kink for white heteronormativity.#even if they have to force it by misreading or whitewashing in order to attain it (astarion and alistair for example)#like i look at how mutuals and i speak about astarion/lucanis and then how greater fandom does and it’s like. oh i hate everyone but my#bubble don’t i LMAOOO#anyways. a love letter to my mutuals <33 u make every day on this website brighter 😚💕💕#anyways.txt
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MESSY SKETCH ADOPT TALKSPRITE EDITS
15-35$ USD, order on etsy!
Exactly what it says on the tin. You bought a messy sketch adopt from me? I'll do an expressions edit for em so you can use em as sprites!
Packages are as outlined above. Each package comes with at minimum a base 3 set of brows, eyes, and mouths, as well as 3 blush options, additional add ons from there!
Additionally, I'm offering MINOR. MINOR color edits as an option. Was there an accessory you wish was a different color? Want to add freckles? You got it! Major changes to overall clothing/hair and blood color are not permitted however, and I will not be doing any lines alternation at this time. If you're not sure! message me BEFORE filling out the form and ordering.
NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS: Only certain designs are eligible for sprite edits! Why you ask? Well. foolish me, I merged all my old adopt files down so they're not editable anymore. I've linked below the cut the sketch adopt sets that are eligible for edits, but you can also see which specific designs are eligible via the form linked on ko-fi.
Unthemed set: Ain't your baby/Out of Your League
Unthemed set: Dare to Dream/Sullen & Grim/Dancing Through Life
Circus Act Set
Fall into Fall Set - Exception: Cozy sweater (face obscured by nonremovable design element)
Let's Get Spooky Set - Exception: Are You My Mummy? (face obscured by nonremovable design element)
Witch's Cottage Set
#my art#talksprites#commissions#commissions info#Am prioritizing knocking out the last of my full sprite comms first but then ideally thesell be done right after#theyre also just a lot shorter vis a vis worktimes since its just expressions#i timed out how long the expressions for something wicked and devils advocate took and they were a little over 2 hours each?#including adding blush layers#if i get the big sprites done and knock these out easy#then i can open messy sketch sprite comms for realsiesin conjunction#also this took way longer to get together than i would have liked#but hopefully w these open and a couple other things all my expenses ar#covered and i can afford to actually buy tickets to go to my friends service bc i#havent been able to buy those yet orz#bills come first and all that
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I cannot stress enough how MINOR of a petpeeve this is and how this is an interpretation that i'm comfortable with other people having even if i personally do not but I've noticed in a lot of 3zun fics, if jgy is holding smth back- generally his own feelings because his natural reaction to conflict is to make it Go Away and so if his emotional needs are the potential source conflict he will simply Not Look At Them.- That between nielan Xichen is the one who's worried and presses for comunication and Mingjue is like "Meng Yao is an adult if there was a problem he'd say so."
And I get why this is done, because nieyao's communication is generally atrocious and Xichen is the Gentle One who'd want to make sure a-yao is okay. So I get it. But. Canonically. The person going "I know a-yao, we trust each other, I don't need to ask him, he'll tell me on his own terms." is Lan Xichen and the one going "If Meng Yao doesn't want me to know something he WILL hide it from me and i'll have no idea because he's just that good at lying" is Nie Mingjue. And in a healthier nieyao dynamic, as these fics work under, that knowledge would not lead to automatic distrust but rather a desire to check in, to go: please remember that I value your honesty more than whatever you think you would burden me with by telling me what's going on.
Xichen also wants honesty and open communication ofc but his reaction to conflict is also to make it go away as fast as possible and he feels like saying it constantly feels accusatory so he wouldn't. If he asks if something is ok and a-yao smiles and goes of course er-ge checking again if it's really okay would be implying he was lying the first time!! He's showing his trust in him!! This is really refreshing if you're constantly assumed to be untrustworthy and meng yao appreciates it so much and it works really well 95% of the time but when it doesn't? Oh boy.
#examples of where that goes wrong *points at canon*#mdzs#3zun#nie mingjue#lan xichen#meng yao#jin guangyao#nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying'#and not because they think they understand the other perfectly#that's xiyao#who fall into this trap because they DO actually know each other better than almost everyone else#and so are completely blind to the few things they don't get about e/o#nielan can also do this#but it's more complicated cause i feel like they consciously DECIDE not to know each other sometimes#because they hold responsibilities to other people they must prioritize over each other. like so much canon nielan is wrapped up in duty#but idk exactly how that would translate if they did make the conscious decision to prioritize their relationship#and this post is about the yao-corner of the triangle and how they both interact with him so. will reserve those thoughts for another time
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wait there's seriously only THREE "keep" choices for veilguard... 2 from trespasser specifically and then who the inquisitor romanced... bioware loves being like "in our games your choices have consequences and shape the world around you" and then the conses do not quence whatsoever
#so like 95% of the stuff we did in inquisition did not matter.... okay#nothing about the well?? or KIERAN when morrigan is in the game??? nothing about siding with mages or templars??#even with choices from dao and da2 like so if we even get cameos from companions from those will they just not mention anything like#and the explanation that “well we're removed from southern thedas now they're very different yadda ya” is bullshit#like yay morrigan but if she was romanced by the warden and/or had old god kieran it just doesnt come up at all??#and if any past companions have cameos will they just not mention anything? no mention of romance or any details...#this just pissed me off so bad as someone who loves the keep and seeing past choices show up again#just did a whole new playthrough for this game specifically but none of it matters like okay awesome#and im not gonna say anything about the prioritization of s********n bc things will get nasty#the epic highs and lows of being a dragon age fan#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#.txt
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Here’s the thing. We can assume that Williams knew about the one-reserve rule from the start, and yet she took on two reserves, knowing one would be cut. It's clear from her interactions with Nick and the way she talks about him that she's betting on him, but she kept Eugene as a safety net just in case Nick couldn't improve fast enough. She's using her students as pawns to win against her old rival rather than seeing them as people she's supporting in achieving great things.
The way she approached cutting Eugene was so insensitive and shitty that it feels fucking malicious. She chose to publically cut him from the team, and to make it worse, she started it off by saying she needed the best on the team, then immediately gave the slot to Nick. That is simply an unnecessary prelude--there is no reason she needed to 'justify' her choice by outright telling Eugene he's not good enough.
Yes, Nick fenced better at camp, and yes, Williams is justified in her decision. What she's not justified in is stringing Eugene along when she knew from the start he was deadweight only to publically kick him off the team right before they actually start the season. Her treatment of him was callous and--hopefully unintentionally--cruel.
#the only character SRB got right was Williams (derogatory)#i have no professional respect for this woman#i am n o t kidding i would never never never treat my students the way she did eugene#and i coach debate so am familiar w competitions and making teams and choosing who proceeds#and letting down those who don't make it/being there to support them when they lose at higher levels... and this ain't it chief#i take her behavior as a personal slight#shes a shitty teacher/coach because she prioritizes her own gain over her students' feelings#this is THEIR fucking thing!!! it's not about you!!!#fence comic#jackshit#jacksalt#sally williams#eugene labao#fence long shot spoilers#eugene defence squad#fence spoilers#fence challengers long shot#fencessay#ish
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🤨
#random personal stuff#back on my soapbox feel free to ignore#okay I'm about to get controversial sorry#but after today's sermon I'm a bit baffled by a double standard#in which women are told not to let work get in the way of prioritizing family#but men are told to work MORE in order to prioritize family#which is it?#I'm not saying that there isn't ANY truth in either of those statements#but the emphasis of this construction seems to assume that children need fathers primarily as people who make money#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with a dad who works and a mom who stays at home (that's a good option)#I'm NOT saying that there's a problem with dads who have to take on extra work to get by (that's a self-sacrificial thing)#what I'm saying is that when a career is portrayed as the ideal focus of a father & only the mother's bond with the children is encouraged#then what you are liable to get are children who have little to no meaningful relationship with their father#supporting your family is good! but children need a present father just as much as they need a present mother#I'm speaking from experience here#I love my dad and get along fine with him - he's a good person!#but he was frequently physically and emotionally absent from my life when I was a child#and I still struggle to connect with him#it's an extremely different relationship from what I have with my mom - who WAS there my entire childhood#tl;dr I wish the kinds of churches I've observed would a) stop inadvertently promoting fathers' workaholism#and b) encourage both parents to invest in their families in the best ways that they can
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Everyone's guilty of this at least occasionally, but I do think that making fun of people for enjoying harmless & fun things is just kinda inherently unpleasant and pathetic, and that when we find ourselves falling into that, we should reevaluate the type of person are in the world
#this is partially but not entirely about a post going round right now about TLT#but I feel this way about a bunch of stuff#and it's probably the number one reason I unfollow here#making fun of things is... usually fine#but making fun of the people who enjoy those things#9/10 just makes you kinda annoying to be around#is it in the top 100 problems facing me right now? no#has it irked me for my entire life? yes#I am sometimes guilty of it? also yes#I kinda just wanna prioritize people who have joy for things
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confession time!!! can't wait for bt bones
#how is it gonna happen tho#dont know if i like buck prioritizing eddie over t or buck and t just now really meshing more#ooooh#or they breakup cuz t doesnt want kids#thats always good#i dont want to villianize t just because i dont like him (jk i do)#so maybe buck and t just kinda dont work out#like its not a bad breakup its just one those i like you but we wont work long term breakuos#or t says no kids and bucks empty womb is like devastaed so obviously they have to break up (bpreg got to me im so sorry)#or they full send and make t the worst person ever#like fully sides with gerrard and tells buck to play into gerrards bs (not gonna happen but if it did tim i would love you forever)#anyway#cant wait for them to breakup#wait no#the funniest thing would be an offscreen breakup#especially after all that in season 7 hes just gone with buck saying yeah we broke up#💀💀💀#honestly manifesting that even tho its not gonna happen#a girl can dream#okay t hater hours are over#buddie#because ofc#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#sorrh i just dont like him and i dont think canon can do anything to change that
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