#at prioritizing those things
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"idk maybe all those doctors and therapists were wrong, maybe im not autistic? maybe I'm a faker? i feel so normal and well adjusted?" *leaves the house* oh dear jesus god i am not a normal person
#text post#okay to reblog#also to be clear im not a 'normal' person at home but it all feels so normal to me#like what allistic person listens to the same album 20 times in 36 hours and plays 160 levels of a game in 10 of those hours#also i can't drive and im unemployed bc i can't find a job that i could work at with my disabilities that is accessible without a car#i struggle to feed and bathe myself and mostly only do it bc im living with someone who cares about me so i try to be better#at prioritizing those things#when I'd really rather just stay engaged with whatever I've hyperfocused on or with my special interests#and even with the people i live with i still greatly struggle to understand tone and body language#but when im being 'weird' by myself or with people who deeply love and accept me... it feels normal#but throw me out in public? or put me around people that im not extreeeeemely close with? YIKES
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How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
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i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.
#and peeta Goes Through It too but hes there!!!!!!!! hes always there and hes kind and artistic and peaceful and good and everything that#the games could never destroy (the hijacking couldve but he found his way back. he still wonders whats real sometimes but he knows. he know#who he is. a painter a baker and a boy who loves. she reminds him of that love too)#anyways :( katniss longs for peetas arms and nobodys been this gentle with her since her father died and she stopped letting her mother#hold her. and peeta does#something about the way he holds her so so gently with so much love and care despite all the destruction and how peeta counteracts the fire#in katniss. the one that tells her she needs to protect and defend and prioritize keeping her family alive and keep her guard up. but hes#there to comfort her and hold her and protect her and those r all the things katniss doesnt get the privilege of thinking about because she#always thinking about who she needs to protect#its so personal to me. god i am Not okay rn#i have a rehearsal before school tmr and i am sooooo sleepy but. insane thoughts can never wait#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#peeniss#< the real ship name#the hunger games#thg#late night thoughts & all that jazz#🫀
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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Genuinely think some folks need to remove how we, the audience, see characters and relationships from an outside perspective from how those characters actually interact. Like y'all ask for nuance and I'm telling you that just because Nancy has gone through trauma and absolutely deserves to be as messy and complicated and hurt as she wants, doesn't mean Robin wouldn't think twice about dating her?
It's not about whose fault it is or centering a male character, it's about how Robin, the character, would interpret and internalize the facts she knows. She has no idea what exactly Nancy has been through, like we have. She encouraged Steve and Nancy in S4 to get back together, she comforted him when Nancy went straight back to Jonathan. Robin's place as Steve's best friend, someone she trusts implicitly, the person she wants to combine with, puts Steve as an important aspect of her life!
It's not that she hates Nancy! It's that even though they broke up a year and a half ago, there's some unresolved or redeveloping feelings there for Steve. It's not that I think Steve could/would/should be hurt or angry about his best friend dating his ex. It's that, in my opinion, Robin, from what we see of her, doesn't seem inclined to date a friend's ex. It's about Robin, and her personality, and that means her friendship and love of Steve.
#anti ronance#finda's rambles#stranger things#idk its about robin for me. she would put her friendship with steve above a romantic relationship with anyone#struggling to put this into words but its frustrating when people claim we're making it about steve when i dont feel that way#to me im prioritizing Robin. and stobin i guess#it also seems like people hate being reminded that robin wants to live in steves brain. and that WOULD factor into her choices#that may affect him. yknow. like dating his ex.#its got nothing to do with how i feel about the stancy breakup (messy but if they TALKED could be worked through)#i also don't think they're compatible and have multiple reasons i simply don't vibe with the ship#but those aren't misinterpreted just ignored i guess
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I thought for like two seconds: the politics of Arcane suck, don't they?
Like, it's all about the cycle of violence, which is fair when it comes to the personal relationships, but becomes fucked with Jinx and Caitlyn in particular, as it is a microcosm of the Zaun-Piltover thing.
Like, Piltover has economic power over Zaun, what with its control of international trade, explicit ownership of Zaun's resources and many of its factories, and enforces that power through the Enforcers. While I do think that while Jinx's political strategy is non-existant, this oppression and exploitation needs to end, and non-violent reform will only perpetuate the system. While a peaceable revolution would be nice, the only real independance would seperate Piltover's richest from a lot of their wealth.
A similar thing is shown in how Jinx treats Caitlyn vs. how Caitlyn responds to Jinx. Jinx is a personal scale villain, kidnapping her and killing her mom; she resembles the stereotypical anarchist terrorist, but she chooses her targets much more carefully than that (or, at least, Silco does).
Caitlyn's response: take advantage of her status to restart the explicit subjugation of Zaun with the enforcers, and to gas them. Y'know, fascist stuff. Not a long walk from reformist to fascist, since being a reformist doesn't require you to think too hard about the system and how it doesn't work, and thus your biases remain unexamined.
The cycle of violence in the context of Jinx vs Caitlyn, and Zaun vs Piltover, suggests somehow that the relationships are even, that Zaun hurts Piltover, Piltover hurts Zaun, back and forth forever. Wonder what real world conflicts resemble this narrative, that they hit first, so we have the right to self defense even though we have all the power in this situation.
I really like Jinx as a character, I just want a fic that gives her coherent and actionable politics instead of the terrorist framing.
#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#this is why i ship the two btw#because they both see themselves as not-the-good-guy#what I want is a fic that has Jinx as a proper socialist revolutionary leader#or maybe an anarchist#that how they view themselves thing is part of why I don't like Ekko/Jinx#and CaitVi is on thin ice#because Ekko is a bit of a moralist#and so is Vi#which would fracture their more canon relationships over time#while I do think that Jinx needs a better self image#thinking of oneself as the good-guy and having strict morals ain't needed#Cait and Jinx feels like#if she had stronger political leanings#she would prioritize reducing harm in the long run#over saving her morality#half the same with Vi#and like#Ekko isn't non-pragmatic#but he seems the type to take on those choices as a form of self-sacrifice#but yea#i wish arcane fics where less liberal#in the non-leftist way#not in the non-conservative way#where's the communist jinx centric fics!
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I cannot stress enough how MINOR of a petpeeve this is and how this is an interpretation that i'm comfortable with other people having even if i personally do not but I've noticed in a lot of 3zun fics, if jgy is holding smth back- generally his own feelings because his natural reaction to conflict is to make it Go Away and so if his emotional needs are the potential source conflict he will simply Not Look At Them.- That between nielan Xichen is the one who's worried and presses for comunication and Mingjue is like "Meng Yao is an adult if there was a problem he'd say so."
And I get why this is done, because nieyao's communication is generally atrocious and Xichen is the Gentle One who'd want to make sure a-yao is okay. So I get it. But. Canonically. The person going "I know a-yao, we trust each other, I don't need to ask him, he'll tell me on his own terms." is Lan Xichen and the one going "If Meng Yao doesn't want me to know something he WILL hide it from me and i'll have no idea because he's just that good at lying" is Nie Mingjue. And in a healthier nieyao dynamic, as these fics work under, that knowledge would not lead to automatic distrust but rather a desire to check in, to go: please remember that I value your honesty more than whatever you think you would burden me with by telling me what's going on.
Xichen also wants honesty and open communication ofc but his reaction to conflict is also to make it go away as fast as possible and he feels like saying it constantly feels accusatory so he wouldn't. If he asks if something is ok and a-yao smiles and goes of course er-ge checking again if it's really okay would be implying he was lying the first time!! He's showing his trust in him!! This is really refreshing if you're constantly assumed to be untrustworthy and meng yao appreciates it so much and it works really well 95% of the time but when it doesn't? Oh boy.
#examples of where that goes wrong *points at canon*#mdzs#3zun#nie mingjue#lan xichen#meng yao#jin guangyao#nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying'#and not because they think they understand the other perfectly#that's xiyao#who fall into this trap because they DO actually know each other better than almost everyone else#and so are completely blind to the few things they don't get about e/o#nielan can also do this#but it's more complicated cause i feel like they consciously DECIDE not to know each other sometimes#because they hold responsibilities to other people they must prioritize over each other. like so much canon nielan is wrapped up in duty#but idk exactly how that would translate if they did make the conscious decision to prioritize their relationship#and this post is about the yao-corner of the triangle and how they both interact with him so. will reserve those thoughts for another time
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confession time!!! can't wait for bt bones
#how is it gonna happen tho#dont know if i like buck prioritizing eddie over t or buck and t just now really meshing more#ooooh#or they breakup cuz t doesnt want kids#thats always good#i dont want to villianize t just because i dont like him (jk i do)#so maybe buck and t just kinda dont work out#like its not a bad breakup its just one those i like you but we wont work long term breakuos#or t says no kids and bucks empty womb is like devastaed so obviously they have to break up (bpreg got to me im so sorry)#or they full send and make t the worst person ever#like fully sides with gerrard and tells buck to play into gerrards bs (not gonna happen but if it did tim i would love you forever)#anyway#cant wait for them to breakup#wait no#the funniest thing would be an offscreen breakup#especially after all that in season 7 hes just gone with buck saying yeah we broke up#💀💀💀#honestly manifesting that even tho its not gonna happen#a girl can dream#okay t hater hours are over#buddie#because ofc#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#sorrh i just dont like him and i dont think canon can do anything to change that#me thinks
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Here’s the thing. We can assume that Williams knew about the one-reserve rule from the start, and yet she took on two reserves, knowing one would be cut. It's clear from her interactions with Nick and the way she talks about him that she's betting on him, but she kept Eugene as a safety net just in case Nick couldn't improve fast enough. She's using her students as pawns to win against her old rival rather than seeing them as people she's supporting in achieving great things.
The way she approached cutting Eugene was so insensitive and shitty that it feels fucking malicious. She chose to publically cut him from the team, and to make it worse, she started it off by saying she needed the best on the team, then immediately gave the slot to Nick. That is simply an unnecessary prelude--there is no reason she needed to 'justify' her choice by outright telling Eugene he's not good enough.
Yes, Nick fenced better at camp, and yes, Williams is justified in her decision. What she's not justified in is stringing Eugene along when she knew from the start he was deadweight only to publically kick him off the team right before they actually start the season. Her treatment of him was callous and--hopefully unintentionally--cruel.
#the only character SRB got right was Williams (derogatory)#i have no professional respect for this woman#i am n o t kidding i would never never never treat my students the way she did eugene#and i coach debate so am familiar w competitions and making teams and choosing who proceeds#and letting down those who don't make it/being there to support them when they lose at higher levels... and this ain't it chief#i take her behavior as a personal slight#shes a shitty teacher/coach because she prioritizes her own gain over her students' feelings#this is THEIR fucking thing!!! it's not about you!!!#fence comic#jackshit#jacksalt#sally williams#eugene labao#fence long shot spoilers#eugene defence squad#fence spoilers#fence challengers long shot#fencessay#ish
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Everyone's guilty of this at least occasionally, but I do think that making fun of people for enjoying harmless & fun things is just kinda inherently unpleasant and pathetic, and that when we find ourselves falling into that, we should reevaluate the type of person are in the world
#this is partially but not entirely about a post going round right now about TLT#but I feel this way about a bunch of stuff#and it's probably the number one reason I unfollow here#making fun of things is... usually fine#but making fun of the people who enjoy those things#9/10 just makes you kinda annoying to be around#is it in the top 100 problems facing me right now? no#has it irked me for my entire life? yes#I am sometimes guilty of it? also yes#I kinda just wanna prioritize people who have joy for things
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just. having a continually very difficult time reconciling my physical and emotional realities right now. but i'm really really trying to internalize that living with my mom can be challenging without being constantly bad.
#it's okay that some days are bad and some days are better#and that both days are their own kind of challenge.#challenge is how you grow. or whatever.#like. i'm letting myself unmask most of the time. that's huge.#i'm learning to respect my own boundaries in order to show other people how to respect them too.#i'm prioritizing the things i need to stay healthy even when i'm scared of being judged.#those are all Good Skills that i am Building by Being Here.#and 'accepting the benefits of your current reality (as well as acknowledging the difficult or painful parts)#without invalidating your past realities or your emotional realities'#is also a skill that i would like to improve upon.#and i think it may be key to my sanity for the next 8 months.#me shaking myself by the shoulders: MANY THINGS CAN BE TRUE ALL AT ONCE.#okay. back to my lecture about negligence and strict liability.#izzy.txt
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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Becoming jewish because being a lawyer is too much work
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#meme#this is a joke if it wasn't clear#(also i'm doing a branch of medicine instead of law which is probably worse. lol.)#i'm thinking about that story where g-d Himself told those rabbis They Were Wrong Actually and they still said#'three votes are still more than two. lol.' like even if that's a joke it's iconic#actually in terms of becoming jewish... i guess in a way you almost do become like a lawyer in terms of jewish law#like you study how different customs and different ways the law applies and then you can (if need be) argue it#like how in shul the rabbi and a member were discussing/arguing about the order of havdalah and the purim party#like they were arguing until they went 'okay so let's do the thing that ovserves the most mitzvot'#i just realized i used 'like' thrice. that is way too much#see being jewish appeals to me for the same reason medicine and academia appeals to me: the learning factor#and the way that learning is prioritized over for instance... like looking good or Looking like you are doing good deeds#though if law wasn't often stuffy and the justice system did Not Suck i would maybe want to be an Actual Lawyer#i love arguing with people. i love that everything in the world we ever talk about is an argument. i love defending Topics#i would be a Menace in court. like phoenix wright if he were a little rabid
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deciding which ideas to draw lately
#too many things to draw!!!#i need to do the zukka spiderverse poll winner and i have sooo many funny little mini comics and two bigger angst ones and my oc stuff#anyway. i drew none of those and this instead#i would say there's a big storm coming but im not sure what i'll actually be able to finish. or which ones to prioritize....#i should do a poll of which ones to do but fluff always wins#which. should show me what i should draw but WHATEVER#yall don't wanna see bloody battlefied sokka sokka? OR yall don't wanna see ruining friendships by getting together?#or zuko leaving abandonment-issues-sokka via letter???#well TOO BAD. you're gonna get those comics.... if i can finish them#and i have spiderverse art AAHHH the time!!!!#apologies for the abundance of personal posts im going insane. biting the bars of my enclosure
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I feel like even though communities had positive feedback from users at the beginning compared to Tmblr Live, if staff keep pushing it the way they kept pushing live, eventually, everybody's gonna get sick of them
#misc; ooc#//i don't think communities will be removed as a feature anytime soon#//but no I don't want to see communities posts on my for you page please stop that it's so annoying#//at least make it an option for people to choose whether they want to see those posts on their dash or not#//and rn staff are prioritizing their shiny new thing instead of fixing things when there are things to be fixed which isn't good either#//pornbots are swarming the tags and everything again and they haven't aknowledged it at all
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make me choose
ryo ogami or tetsuo daishinji → ryo ogami
#kamen rider saber#kamen rider buster#ryo ogami#ogami ryo#kamen rider#gifs.mmc#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.gifs#umbrella.posts#was excited to see this one in the inbox bc i have an excuse to make a ryo ogami set :)#i love his suit it's based off of a black tortoise and has a cute little mouth#a father with a healthy relationship with his child who actually prioritizes his family?#a man who thinks things through to keep his child safest?#a man who can be a bit silly but has a kind heart and soft smiles?#every time he isn't sweeping those dad tournaments he's being robbed#also i do think daishinji and ryo work best together as a duo and i love their friendship and i love daishinji a lot#i just have a soft spot for ryo
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