#people definitely don't come to this fandom for that sort of content which makes me less likely to write her for real

[marzipanandminutiae]

Who's Rosemary? I wanna hear about that OC!

I mean, hey, give me half an excuse...

Rosemary is the youngest child of Beatrice Sharpe's youngest sister (Beatrice being, canonically, the oldest of Several). She's eight years old in 1902, and her parents and three older brothers died tragically a few weeks ago when an unknown party poisoned their soup. Rosemary, having been sent to bed without supper, was spared- something the old aunt who looked after her during the inquiry proclaimed an absolute miracle.

("First poor Beatrice's youngest, and now you. That's a nephew and a niece I've seen through foul murder. If ever a family were marked for tragedy...") (Poor Beatrice's eldest does not rate a mention.)

But she must have a more permanent home, with someone younger and stronger who can care for a child. How kind of her grown-up cousins to take her into their grand country-house sight unseen! They wrote, you see. She's just misplaced the letter.

Upon her arrival at the front steps of Allerdale Hall, after barely a moment's pause, her cousin Lucille thanks the constable for seeing her here safely and ushers her inside. She doesn't yet know that no child with tattered clothes and fading bruises would have been turned away, even without the letter from their mother to hers that she's clutching like a protective talisman.

The tall man, she guesses must be cousin Thomas. An explanation of the little blonde lady will have to wait, as she's bustled upstairs for a hot bath and something more substantial to wear. Little girls can recieve proper introductions- and explain the murder they absolutely committed, no doubt in any of the Sharpes' minds -once they're wrapped in a warm dressing-gown with a nice bracing cup of tea.

other tidbits about her include:

Rosemary was not her name Before. she chose it herself. her three parents do not know or want to know what her birth family called her, and they picked a middle name for her at her request (Diana)

she falls in love with clockwork and Making Things, becoming Thomas' extremely eager workshop assistant. all her parents, of course, lavish her somewhat haphazard creations with praise. or, you know, as close as Lucille comes to any emotive display that could be called "lavishing"

Lucille is actually the best at the practical realities of child-rearing, of the three adults. after all, she's the only one with experience- even if she was a child herself at the time

left alone with a child, Thomas would be the babysitter kids love and parents hate, who lets them stay up until midnight and eat ice cream for dinner because saying "no" is hard and they're just so cute! Edith is very Oh God How Parent? at first- she expected children, but in the nebulous Future, not right now -but realizing kids are just Small Inexperienced People helps considerably

would the Sharpes be good parents to a normal child, beyond the basic Keep Kid Alive practicalities? probably not. but Rosemary wouldn't get on too well with normal parents, either. so while things aren't perfect, it evens out

Rosemary Loves Dante (the dog, who is NOT dead). Dante Loves Rosemary. this is adorable. you agree.

tl;dr- Crimson Peak OT3 kidfic, ft. the Sharpe siblings' distant cousin who pulled a Merricat on her abusive family. I may never formally write her into a story, but I love to Rotate her (as my friends can attest)

[jeonscatalyst]

https://www.tumblr.com/jeonscatalyst/760242773222883328/this-all-of-this-and-every-single-bit-of-this?source=share

I do agree with this person's analysis of Jimin and Jungkook personalities, and I also agree that to some extent Jungkook's affection being rarer than Jimin's does make it more special to some fans, but where I disagree is that I don't think that's the main reason why fans seem to put more weight in what Jungkook does than what Jimin does.

Because while some fans will put this much thought on the differences in jikook's personalities, I don't think it's the majority that does. It's kinda of a problem we have actually. If people realised that Jimin and Jungkook are two different people with different ways of showing affection, then we wouldn't have to keep seeing the same stupid takes on their relationship over and over again. It's people expecting jikook to always do to the other the exact same thing the other did to them that causes so much annoying discourse.

But you know what a lot of shipper do love doing? Competing with one another. Competition is one of the main things in every k-pop fandom and sub-fandom, shippers are no exception. And when it comes to jikookers we all know the competition is with taekookers. We're always at each other's throats, let's be honest. And some spend just as much time taking about the rival ship as they do talking about their own ship.

Which leads me to what I believe is the real main reason why both sides (not just jikookers) view Jungkook's actions as more important. It's because he's the in-common person to both ships. He's like the main character in a love triangle. He's the one that ultimately decides who gets together in the end, not the two love interests, so their actions don't matter as much.

The point of contention with shippers has never really been whether or not Jimin or Taehyung like Jungkook, that's already assumed to be the case. With solos it's definitely an argument, but jikookers and taekookers focus more on each other than in solos. No, the real question has always been who does Jungkook like more: Jimin or Taehyung?

If Jimin declares his love for Jungkook jikookers will of course love that, but if Jungkook is the one who does it it'll matter more because it can be used against taekookers. Taekookers don't care if Jimin loves Jungkook or not, what he feels doesn't matter to them. Nothing Jimin says can prove anything to them. The confirmation has to come from Jungkook, that's the only way they'll care about it. And jikookers do care about one-upping taekookers. If we didn't we wouldn't spend so much time trying to prove to them that we're right.

There's been plenty of times when I've seen something that used to not matter suddenly become important the moment people realize it could be used in the shipping competition. It's a sort of 'I didn't care that much about that thing I have until I realized it could make the other side jealous'. Or 'I didn't want that thing until the other side got it and now I want it too'.

Things naturally hold more importance to people when those things have not only their own inherent value but also when they have the added bonus of pissing off someone you don't like. Jimin's love for Jungkook is important by itself but Jungkook's love for Jimin is seen as more important because it will also piss off taekookers.

I'm pretty sure that if the two biggest ships were jikook and vmin instead, then the most important thing suddenly would be Jimin's affection, regardless of how affectionate he is with everyone.

Again, I do agree some fans do consider jikook's differences and that that does influence how they value their actions, it's just that I think there's a bigger reason here.

I hope this didn't come across as me being a contrarian for the sake of it, I just wanted to add a separate perspective on the subject because I've had this opinion for a while and it seemed relevant to the topic. I also hope I was not to harsh on my opinions of other jikookers, but no fandom is without it's flaws and I think it's important to acknowledge them.

Anon, I owe you a cold beer right now because it seems like you read my mind.

This is exactly what I think too. It’s just mostly about the competition, the shipwars, the fights and the need to “win”. That’s really why people think Jungkook’s actions hold more meaning that Vmins. It’s like Jungkook is the prize that Vmin are desperately trying to win and every action or word of his is used as an affirmation or debunking. “Jungkook did this with Tae but didn’t do that with Jimin so Tae is his boyfriend”….just an endless cycle of bullshit.

Anyone who is mature and experienced enough understands that Jimin and Jungkook don’t have to express themselves exactly the same for things to be mutual. Jimin could say “I love you” to Jungkook and Jungkook wouldn’t say it back but would prefer to make a video of Jimin. So many people would say Jungkook didn’t reciprocate just because he didn’t do things exactly the way Jimin did when the truth is that he did, just in his own way.

When I see people coming up with useless takes or comparisons about their bond it pisses me off to no end because it’s the little things that Jungkook does. People would get pissed at Jungkook and say that he doesn’t show love to Jimin as much as Jimin does just because Jimin would constantly touch him, ask him to eat alot and is very vocal about his affection but Jungkook remembering that Jimin likes his food spicy and trying to make it just how Jimin likes it apparently means nothing because Jungkook wasn’t shouting on a roof top or Jungkook thinking of what to cook in Jeju and knowing that Jimin would love it doesn’t matter because he didn’t stand on a podium and announce it or Jungkook quietly getting water for Jimin and giving him to drink without him asking doesn’t mean a thing because he didn’t carry Jimin on his head. Sometimes I don’t even have the energy to argue because if only people understood Jungkook they would know that Jungkook doesn’t treat anyone the same way he does Jimin.

I personally can see how someone might naturally value Jungkook’s actions more because Jimin is a natural caring, nurturing and loving person to everyone so sometimes it is hard to tell if his actions mean more or it is just him being himself but with Jungkook, he tries as much as possible to be impartial but he just cannot help it when it comes to Jimin. He is pretty kind and caring towards everyone he loves too but not the same way Jimin does it plus Jungkook tends to go big when he expresses his affection for Jimin. So with Jimin we get little bits of love and affection more frequently than we get from Jungkook but once we get one from Jungkook, it is usually news worthy and kinda exclusive to Jimin so it hits harder.

I dunno. I might have gone off topic but like I said, I 100% agree with you.

[cinnamonest]

With this whole 'rape fantasies are a result of misogyny as they allow women a guilt free sexuality cos they have no autonomy'

Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

Just seems crazy to me like 'we do this because of misogyny. And we'll keep doing it'

Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

This isnt an attack on you it just really seems like common sense that if something exists because of misogyny the last thing we should do is feed into those ideas

(I assume this is coming from this post, so I might reference that a bit here)

No worries, I fully understand how this can come across negative to those who do not have the same experiences and I appreciate you approaching the matter in a non-attacking way with genuine desire to have dialogue on the subject. I'll do my best to address these points individually.

>Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

In the past few years fandom culture has become a bit obsessed with the idea of "normalization" to the point that the definition of the term has been a bit skewed, which creates issues with these discussions.

There is no concept of which existence of content containing it alone constitutes normalization, by the actual definition of the word. Normalization is the process by which it is distributed and way in which it is presented, and intent of its creation.

Normalization via fiction is a process in which a creator, generally intentionally, creates content that presents a concept as, well, normal. That is, not reprehensible or problematic to replicate, and presents this to a population with the intent of them accepting the idea as something acceptable in reality. Generally it also necessitates that the creator will try to ensure the media is viewed by mainstream general audiences who would not normally seek the content out, since the purpose of normalization is to make an idea acceptable amongst a population.

That is the opposite of what I am doing, which is creating a private space filled with warnings. I am going out of my way to ensure that people who do not want to see this content, have the foreknowledge to opt to avoid it.

By definition, if you’re creating content and ensuring that it is heavily warned, and marketing it as such that only a niche group who likes such content seeks it out, that’s not normalization by any reasonable metric.

>Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

For some people, I’m sure that would help them, and in that case, that is a great solution for them.

But people are different, and certain things that help some, don’t help others. The types of fantasies that would probably be called “empowering,” personally do nothing for me but make me uncomfortable, in the same way that the sort of content I write makes some people uncomfortable. It does not have the same positive effects on my mental health that this form of content does.

>Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

That's fair — but it doesn't have to.

It is not intended to directly combat misogyny in any way, there are other ways to do that, and this does not have to be one. It's primary purpose is catharsis and the ways in which it benefits me and, as is my hope, those who choose to consume it.

>I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

Again, I never had any intention for it to be a "win" — misogyny is the reason for why I have these desires, but in making what I make, my purpose is to provide catharsis for myself and others.

But also, I would heavily contest that it is indistinguishable from male fantasies. As someone who has seen actual men's misogynist fetishization fantasies, they are very different.

Female disposability and the complete worthlessness of women’s very being — that is, women being non-human objects that are interchangeable, and made to be used temporarily and replaced — is the core defining characteristic of male fantasy/sexuality. Male fantasies almost always involve multiple women to one man, largely because he does not have any actual bond with women, they are items to be collected, no interpersonal relationship actually exists.

The lack of interpersonal connection and lack of personableness itself is fetishized by men, what men get off to is the power they feel from completely disregarding the woman as a person in any way. The very act of the woman being thrown away after being used is fetishized.

In male fantasy, there is no interpersonal connection or affection of any kind, whereas that is one of the defining themes of content like mine.

Tl;dr — while misogyny impacts all women, the severity and form of it in different upbringings, environments and cultures can create misunderstandings and strong reactions when different people react so differently to the same content and thus form misconceptions about each other's perceptions and intentions, but I believe both sides of this argument are usually coming from a place of good intent.

While I fully understand how it would be difficult for those who do not have the same experience to grasp mine, I just ask for mutual understanding that some forms of content help some people, in the same way entirely different forms of content help other people.

[copperbadge]

I was making breakfast and listening to an episode of Just King Things this morning, which is a podcast I do recommend -- two very smart English teachers are reading the books of Stephen King in publication order and discussing them. This could go extremely awry except they're both highly conscious of his failings as well as his skill, so they do really well handling a lot of his less salutatory content.

They've hit the point in King's ouvre (this episode was about Hearts In Atlantis) that follows his recovery from the car accident that very nearly killed him, where he was struck by a van while out walking. One of them pointed out that it seems as though he came back from nearly dying determined to write the wildest shit imaginable and only write what he wanted, which struck a chord in me this time despite having listened to this episode before. Perhaps because I was thinking about my own writing and where it's going in the short term (there are a couple of short stories I want to do that I don't quite have a way into yet). I generally don't think about the drift of my creativity in the long term because when I do I usually draw the wrong conclusions.

I don't really classify my life, the way some people who've had high-impact injuries do, as before-TBI and after-TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury -- the fairly severe concussion I had in January of 2020). For one thing, given I had to cancel a trip to NYC because of it, it may have saved my life; I almost certainly would have caught COVID as someone with known lung issues in New York at the time. For another, the TBI was way scarier to almost everyone else; for me it was just one more dumb injury I gave myself and I didn't even remember most of it so it hardly registered. I used to open the story of it with a joke about waking up not remembering going to bed the night before, but nobody ever found it funny.

It's true that there are changes it wrought in my life, though. Even practical stuff like making sure my living space doesn't have tripping hazards and continuing to wear a fitbit even though I don't really need to (the fitbit told us, the morning after, exactly when the concussion happened, because it registered a heart-rate spike when I fell). For weeks after, I had to move slowly and put off making important decisions because I couldn't trust my physical or intellectual judgement; I didn't even jaywalk in my own neighborhood because I couldn't be sure I was judging the cars' speeds properly. For about a year after I had periodic post-concussion syndrome which basically just slammed me back into concussion space, which wasn't painful or upsetting but was definitely inconvenient.

And it's also undeniable that my writing shifted after the injury. It's not necessarily because of the injury, since my initial recovery from the TBI and the declaration of quarantine happened at roughly the same time, and anyone who tells you that a years-long global pandemic didn't impact their artistic expression is selling you a line. But the last thing I wrote before the TBI was the first draft of Six Harvests, and aside from the Six Harvests publication draft, which had fairly minimal changes, almost all that I've written has been blue-sky, light-hearted, PG-rated romance. It's been on my mind that I've been writing different subject matter from what I used to, but the timing of it didn't strike me until just recently.

I don't mind, really. I love fandom and I support fanfic in whatever expression it comes, but I'm also happy writing my own stories. While I'm aware it's been years since I've meaningfully written fanfic, it doesn't bother me per se, as long as I'm writing. It bothered me much more when I could write fanfic but not original fic, especially in those last few awful months at my last job. I'm proud of the literary and non-genre fiction I've written in the past, but it's also much more trying and frustrating to write at times, so I'm enjoying having a different sort of challenge that feels more fulfilling in the process. I'm sure at some point I'll go back to literary fiction -- there are ways in which it's hard to avoid turning the later Shivadh novels into literary fiction, being honest -- but for now I like what I'm writing, and I'm writing primarily to please myself and without regard to what's necessarily rational or linear.

Just struck me, is all, that it's by far the most noticeable major shift in my work. I do sort of wonder what will be next.

[ailesswhumptober]

Hi. I definitely felt refreshed reading your hard stance and information on ai in your pinned, but irrelevant to that, I only found your blog today and I feel like I missed something with AI and whumptober. Can I learn about that? I hope my language makes sense.

In the late summer of 2023, an anonymous user asked the Whumptober blog if AI-generated content would be allowed for the event. This anon did not come from any of us, nor do we know who originally send this ask, but one of us did see Whumptober's response which kickstarted this entire thing.

Whumptober responded that they would not be disallowing AI because they "do not want to police how other people create things" and "didn't want to exclude anybody" but that they would "discourage" AI-generated content "because it feels like cheating" (all direct quotes).

Myself, the other mods, and several more people, were very disappointed in this stance. several of us started replying to the post and got into a back-and-forth with the Whumptober mods about why AI-generated content is harmful and bad. These posts and replies have since been mostly deleted by the Whumptober blog, nor do we want to rehash the entire thing, but some of the stances that Whumptober took that really rubbed us wrong were (again with direct quotes):

"AI-generated content is not art theft". When pointed out that these sorts of applications very much scrape content without consent, Whumptober claimed that it's the AI that steals then, not the person who uses the AI. They also claimed that since the AI already scraped the content, you "might as well use it", that defending against AI scraping is "going down on an already burning hill" and that "if you don't want your content scraped/stolen, just don't post it online". We found these very concerning statements from an event made by and for creators.

"AI-generated content is a fandom issue and nobody in the real world is harmed by it". This is, obviously, factually incorrect. When we pointed out real creators in many creative industries are being hit hard because of AI-generation, they said "that's capitalism's fault, not AI-generation" (???) and they also told us to "touch grass".

"These sort of AIs are an accessibility tool for the disabled, so disliking them is ableism". Again, this is incorrect. They tried to liken it to predictive text or spell check. We pointed out that there's a vast difference between those machine learning tools and actually generative AI that subsides on scraped content. We said disabled people (many of whom were involved in the back-and-forth) are sick of being used as a strawman by tech bros. They then said "real disabled people probably feel differently" which was a slap in the face, and honestly the thing that still is the most horrible to me about this whole thing.

This is the point where Whumptober started to block a bunch of us and delete asks/replies. They made a post that falsely made it seem like we were harassing and bullying them for saying that they "couldn't check every single entry for AI-generated content". We pointed out multiple times that we absolutely did not expect them to, since we're very aware that with the size of the Whumptober event, it would be impossible. We'd just like them to say 'AI-generated content is not allowed and it's art theft' but apparently they didn't want to.

After this one of the mods DMed me and asked me to send them some resources on why AI-generated content and scraping AI is bad, so they could educate themselves. We spent several minutes collecting sources (some linked in our pinned). They said the Whumptober mods would read them, and then come to a standpoint. But then within less than a minute of us sending the links, they deleted the remaining posts involved in the debate, and just told us they were sticking to their standpoint that "We will not police how people create things, we'll just discourage people by not reblogging it". They also added to their pinned that they won't ever respond to any asks about AI-generated content again. So that was that.

Somewhere during the argument, the Whumptober mods told us that if we disliked their stance so much, we should just make our own event. So we did.

(Edit to add: regardless on if whumptober does change their policy, we never received any sort of acknowledgement or apology of the above and we will keep running this event for whoever wants to.)

[velnna]

Since you probably use more social media than most people, I was curious on what you think of the ones u use, especially now that blue sky is open to the public

Eh, I'm not super well versed on them these days because I mostly use them to respond to notifications, post and disappear, plus I have notifications filtered everywhere so I don't keep track of engagement. ESPECIALLY with bluesky, I've never even opened the general timeline there 😅

Twitter is still my favourite social media and the one I use more seamlessly. I think I see value in it because it's not primarily meant for visual posts and there's people from a bunch of different fields and industries engaging with whatever all at once, plus the line between commenting on a post and making a post yourself is blurred which gives for some funny interactions. It used to intimidate me but now I'm just chilling.

Bluesky I guess is supposed to be the same thing? But I can't bring myself to engage with it idk. Back when it started I could see that the most active people there were the ones actively hating twitter, while.. doing the exact same things on bluesky they did on twitter 🤷‍♂️ so I think Elon Musk aside it's basically the same thing with less users.

I used to be big on instagram but basically stopped using it when they introduced reels, now I just post and disappear. I hate that they couldn't just leave it simple and uncluttered and the fact that reels became so popular pissed me off lmao.

Tiktok is a tricky one for me because I go "viral" easily there and it's my biggest platform BUT it's very addicting and you sorta have to scroll through the main page to find content to make + a lot of the time you need to make content specifically for it. Which is a time sink for me in a lot of ways :') I tend to open it every other month to maybe post something then ghost again

Tumblr is... fine? Idk tumblr definitely feels like both the most useless and the easiest social media to use. Useless in the sense that I never expect anything that happens on tumblr to materialise into anything outside of it. Easiest in the sense that it's just chill for me to post and engage with what people send me without needing to think about it too hard. Trying to get original content to take off here was in vain but fanart does particularly well as expected.. which means it only started being fun for me when I got into BG3 as I'd never been in a fandom before lmao. I like that, just like twitter, it's not only for visual posts, but get overwhelmed at the idea of blogs and formatting and sorting posts, so I only use it barebones and tend to not engage with the main page/timeline either

Engagement-wise, I honestly couldn't tell ya. I think that comes down to you paying attention to each social media's trends and how people interact with it. Personally I'm (very luckily) at a stage where 99% of the time I don't care about whether a post makes numbers or flops, and my platforms are big enough that if I REALLY needed something to do well I could probably find a way to make it loud enough so yknow

Hope this answers your question :'D

[freddie-77-ao3]

sup yall we're vibing here

anyway. hey, my name's freddie, and i'm finally trying to write an actual intro/master post which... we'll see how this goes.

important stuff is highlighted in orange.

so, basic stuff:

as I said, my name's freddie. he/him pronouns. i'm a college student (majoring in accounting, might add a psych minor). not gonna say which college but i'm currently in california.

i've been on tumblr since 2019 i think? not under this account, this started as a fandom account and then spiralled out of control... really fast. um, my regular tumblr which i've not actually opened in ages is @chronicchthonic14 so. yeah.

not particularly relevant to this blog, but i might mention it at some point so, i have autism and adhd. and some other things but. like. that list is very long and those are the two most relevant because i promise if i come off wrong/mean, i didn't mean to, i just forget to make my words normal. but. those are the two most referenced. if for whatever reason someone wants to know more or has questions you can send an ask ig?

i'm scottish, born there. moved to US when I was four. finishing uni and moving back.

some quick warnings

this blog definitely contains cursing/vulgar language, whatever you want to call it, so if you're not comfortable with that, probably not the blog for you, as i don't tag cursing or anything for you to filter out.

if, for whatever reason, if i ever reblog something that contains a slur (against racial minorities, queer people, anything) i will ABSOLUTELY tag that though.

also if anyone has any trigger warnings they think any content needs, please let me know-- asks, dms, comments, reblogs

the cursing thing also applies for sort of dirty jokes? think that only applies to like. two posts and very not explicit. those aren't currently tagged but if they get any more explicit they certainly will be.

queer identity because the explicit reminded me, i'm asexual, and probably straight. maybe bi? dunno, don't particularly care. and i'm trans. ftm. this isn't the blog i talk about that on usually though, unless it relates to a specific ask or a fandom thing.

which, getting into what this blog is for because i can't think of anything else i need to add here (guys let me know if i forgot important stuff, please, i'm an idiot!!! i will forget the important stuff and write random shit instead!! i've already deleted three tangents from this!!)

sooooo

fandoms!! ones i write and/or post about or will potentially post about

percy jackson extending to hoo, toa, tkc (definitely post way less about this), mcga (again, way less). haven't read TSATS or COTG yet, but spoilers are fine. i post way more about minor characters. write fanfiction for and have some posted (both on here and ao3) and a bunch of snippets.

dcu-- films, comics, animated shows, all of it. personally, my favorites are young justice (the comics, not show version), new teen titans, and batman inc (batgirls, nightwing, and red robin esp). late 90s yj run is my favorite, and i loved the DCeased event. favorite batman comic is definitely court of owls run. no fanfics posted, but some on docs.

mcu-- way less so, but have a stucky oneshot. slowly making my way through in timeline order.

throne of glass. i'm an aedion and chaol apologizer because they do a bunch of dumb shit but then WHO DOESN'T in this series. fanfics in doc, not posted.

this would go on for ages if i listed everything so instead, here's an ask i answered on my fandoms/genres and everything. feel free to send me asks about anyone. if you send me something about radium girls i may cry though (tears of joy) so there's your advanced warning.

main things you'll see on my blog are incorrect quotes, snippets, and the occasional fic

this^^

my... idk, contact policy? seriously what do i word this

asks are always open, anon is on.

if you send hate... whatever. i'll probably delete it.

unless i find it funny. then I'll post it. there's really little you could say to me that would hurt.

when i say asks are always open, you can drop anything you want.

literally anything

you need to vent? want advice? want to request headcanons? request a fic? give me a prompt? ask random things about me? something else I've forgotten? go right ahead

if you want to ask me to update my fics? go right ahead. sometimes i forget i didn't post something.

send as many asks as you want, i don't care if it might be spam

i can't promise i'll respond to asks in a timely manner, sometimes i open my inbox and forget they exist for months, i'm sorry. if it's something you really want answered you can send another one

dm's are alright? if you want to be friends or something, go right ahead.

anyone can reblog any of my posts/comment/heart, i don't care. you want to heart 50 things in a row? i adore you. if i had kids, you would get my firstborn

if we're mutuals you can ask for my insta/give me yours.

now, other accounts:

anyway, i think that's it?

[mksbigg3stfan]

so umm umm you know, when you have free time ummm RADESSE /explode

i need opinions, the only ones i see are extremely neutral or simple hate cough cough, i would love to read what you think moot!!

Of course, sure thing !!

Radar x Jesse

Kind of unusual ship, I haven't seen much content of it. If I'm being honest, I didn't know it was a ship until I saw your blog! If Radesse were to have a food comparison like the other ships, I'd say it's some kind of rare fruit, like cherimoya or something, because of how unusual it is. Not bad, just unusual. (Apparently they taste super good!!)

I can say that you seem to characterize Radar pretty well! People in the MCSM fandom seem to sort of ... infantalize (?) And kind of baby Radar even though he's a grown adult. One that has tattoos and has had multiple jobs before ... So I'd say a lot of the hate for the ship (and any ship with Radar) comes from the infantalization of him, which makes people think of him as a younger, more impressionable, "must be protected character." Which doesn't really make sense. Radar hates being talked down to, and he probably wouldn't appreciate being treated like a kid when he's an independent adult.

Besides that, Radar had never considered himself an adventurous person. He's always loved hearing legends, admiring heroes and foes from afar. But when he follows Jesse, Radar discovers his talent with long-range weapons and that he is much stronger than he thinks. By the end of MCSM, Radar has grown into himself much more and is a lot more confident, plus less anxious.

You honestly make super cute Radesse art, and I love your Lapis Lazuli Au !! (jwjejrnanns) Honestly, it's kind of cute how in your AU they settle down together in the future, and Lapis is really cute! Domestic fluffy stuff is always adorable in my opinion, and your art is so warm and bright that it makes every piece feel inviting and like a piece into the little world you made for after MCSM ends.

Jesse is good at cooperating with people, and they are a really inviting, helpful person. I see Jesse as a more adventurous, can't stay down person, but I like how you portrayed them as more of a like, "I've travelled the sntire world, and had 1000s of adventures and quests, so now I'm ready to settle down (except I'm like 30-35)." It kinds of reminds me of how Jack and Nurm settled down together.

Overall, I think your Radesse is really cute! But, like all ships, it has a few flaws. Not that it isn't cute! In game, if you take too long to make a choice when talking to Radar, Jesse defaults to a pretty cold response. There's also the issue with the idolization of Jesse Radar has going on. It's kind of unhealthy for him and Jesse, especially when it makes Jesse uncomfortable.

Besides that, I think Radesse is just something that couldn't happen during in-game time. It would have to take place after MCSM ends, and Radar gets over his idolization of Jesse and starts seeing them as just a person that he admires. (Also, Jesse's thirst for adventure dying down.) After a year or two, maybe more, I think I can see where you're coming from onJesse coming back and settling down, and them slowburning into admiring each other. Like Jesse admiring the confidence Radar has grown, and how he's taken care of Beacontown, and Radar finding Jesse themself admirable, not their heroic deeds. But, I just think again, it's a ship that would need to happen after MCSM ends to make sense.

I don't really ship Radesse or hate it, so I don't have a super strong opinion on how their relationship should be. (Maybe besides it having to happen after the game ends if it happens lol) But, if it happens after game, I'd say it would be slightly toxic at first, but they'd probably find their place. In game run time though, I can't really see it happening.

In its defense, it definitely isn't a proship or just something that totally doesn't make sense like ... idk, Jesse x witherstorm ??? And people seem to hate it very much, but there's nothing like, inherently problematic about it, it seems like? Anyways, keep making your Lapis Lazuli au and the Radesse because tbh it's really cute !! ( ´∀｀ )b

[theguardianace]

Can I politely ask you to elaborate on the Aroace Nene fic you talked about some time ago? Or just simply how you see her in your brain after finding out she's aroace? If it's not much to ask, of course

OMG YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely. i will ramble about aroace literally anybody on the drop of a dime this is one of the best anons to get actually

nene's story is actually the one i have the least about, to be perfectly honest. i have a plot for both emu and tsukasa's stories, but haven't quite figured out one for nene. honestly, i think nene's the type of aroace to not really... care about it that much. she'd never cared about love or romance to begin with, so when she realized it was because she was aroace, it was mostly like "hm. cool. im gonna go play animal crossing now".

as for finding out... i think it would have happened in middle school, back when she was Online Gamer Nene TM full time. with how much she loves games and storytelling, it really only makes sense she'd want to engage with fandom content like fics. however, just... seeing the way people sexualize her favorite characters, or only write/draw shipping content... she didn't care for it. she didn't want to engage with that. not that there was anything wrong with it! people can do whatever they want with fictional game characters. she just. didnt care about it herself. which led to her feeling even more isolated even within her favorite hobbies. i think this would sort of lead her to playing a variety of games so she doesn't have to worry about getting absorbed in fandoms she doesn't care to be a part of. she still checks, every once in a while. for games that she really likes. i think its through this that she eventually stumbles across a popular aroace headcannon, goes "what", googles it, and is like "wow. thats me. sick". and then moves on

but like. even when she's moved on. it's still really nice to know, yknow? it explains why she felt like the odd one out not wanting to ship stuff, or even care to entertain it. there's people out there just like her. it makes her less anxious, a little more sure of herself.

she doesn't ever tell anyone. not even rui. (i mean, they hadn't talked in ages. how is she supposed to? "hi, we havent had a genuine conversation in years, how are you? by the way i discovered im aroace and you probably don't know what that means and honestly i dont really care about it myself. have a good day".) (and once they do start talking again, it just... never came up. she never felt the need to, and he never felt the need to ask.) until my epilouge chapter where they all end up coming out like WHAT WERE ALL AROACE THATS SO SILLY anyways

in casual life, i think nene would have been the type for adults to go "oooh, you have a crush on him, don't you? look at you, all red and shy just thinking about him" when shes simply Just Like That. it was really annoying. she knew she didn't like them like that and that was that. but shes too scared to say that so she just took it. definitely didn't help the "nene needs to learn how to make friends" department. honestly, her only relief from it was with rui- both her parents and the kamishiro parents recognized that the two really did care about each other, but it wasn't like that. also no way in hell they're ruining the one friendship their kids have.

later with emu, i don't think there was any point where people even considered a romance, at least not at first glance. it wasn't like people at school even knew about emu (minus when she snuck in, but why would this hyperactive pink thing be looking for that shy second year?). and people walking the streets didn't really assume they liked each other like that since they were two girls. nene's mom was a little curious if they were dating since emu comes over so often and is so physically affectionate, but she never really pressed. she was mostly just happy nene has friends over that aren't just rui. (also, emu's aroace too, so nothing in her demeanor even made nene consider it could have been romantic. shes just Emu.)

for tsukasa, it's a similar thing. by the time people have realized the two are friends, nene's confident in herself and her feelings enough to shut down the people who would even dare assume she likes a buffoon like that star in that way. there's those people that go "oh but you're mean to him and girls are mean to boys when they have a crush on them" but she's tough enough to go "ew" and move on. (she did complain about it a little to rui on a walk home once. if he ended up in her classroom the next day to "grab her for lunch" and weaponize his dangerous reputation to intimidate them when she wasn't looking, it was sheer coincidence.)

also, i think out of the four, nene falls most on the loveless scale. tsukasa, emu, and rui are all beings made of love despite the fact they don't fall in it. nene's a bit different. she cares about her friends, and she's super good at making them (despite what she thinks), but she doesn't really... love them. not in the ways people usually want to describe love. she would kill a man for them in a heartbeat, don't get me wrong. she just experiences those sorts of feelings differently. it's care, and determination, and hope, and happiness, but not... love. not completely.

anyways aroace gamer nene so real fic will happen once i figure out how to tie these ideas to a plot 👍

[frannyzooey]

Hi Kelli! Tumblr errored out while I was sending this the first time so I think it didn’t go through but if you did in fact already get this feel free to ignore the duplicate! (Damn you, tumblr)

I really appreciated reading your thoughts on age gap a little while ago and had a follow up question for you. What are your thoughts on the idea I see circulating sometimes that age gap fics are alienating to folks who don’t want to read them or feel like they can’t identify with it? I never see myself as “reader” personally, but I know some folks do and would never want to perpetuate a problem or make anyone’s experience in fandom less cozy or welcoming. It’s definitely something that makes me nervous to post any of my writing (even the majority non-age gap stuff) especially in the Pedro fandom space, and I know the argument that everyone curates their own space and can choose not to read something probably applies here, but it still makes me hesitate.

I did not get this ask the first time! *shakes fist at tumblr*

FYI: the other ask, for reference ❤

So, I have not come across this particular sentiment but I have seen my fair share of hate on age gap for various reasons, and I wanna touch on a couple things in this ask because you are being so brilliantly vulnerable sending it in ❤

First off: the main thing I write is age gap: Weeknights, In the Dark, The Secret, Dave/Nanny, Dave/Intern, SDLN. Now let me tell you something else: I am 38 years old.

You would think that I wouldn't be able to identify myself in those stories because of my age: I'm not in college, I'm not in my 20's, I'm not some young, pretty thing. I also don't want to envision myself as a younger person, I also have nothing against aging and it's not because I secretly loathe older women.

It's the dynamic.

In truth, I find them soothing/cathartic to write about/read because they describe something that was missing for me at not only that age, but to some extent now as well: care.

To read about a situation in which an older person cares for and desires the younger one: that is something I seek out because I like it. I'm soothed by it, it's my favorite daydream, it's a situation that I have always been drawn to. I have always been attracted to someone experienced in the ways of the world taking care of me, in whatever form that takes shape in.

Will everyone in the fandom find it soothing? No. In fact, some might be triggered by it, or have their own life experiences that tell them it's inherently wrong, or like you stated above, for whatever reason they just don't identify with the desire to read about it.

However - I do. I'm not everyone, and I get that, but I write (and consume) for me, and for (hopefully) others who are like me to enjoy.

The act of sharing your work is a very vulnerable thing, and to pair that with posts about how some people will never be able to identify with the things you want to write about in a very shame filled manner of speech makes it even more scary, and I get that.

I really do, I've felt it and it’s a hard thing to have to see and feel.

However, in order to post online in any fandom, you sort of just have to say "self, this is important to me, so fuck it."

They can read it, or they can not: that's up to them. If they don't identify with it, then they can go seek out other media that they do identify with. If they don't like it, that's not on you. There are plenty of stories in which I don't identify with the reader for various reasons, but I either enjoy the fics for different aspects of the story, or I scroll on by.

I have a lot of opinions/theories on why people make posts like that but I won't bore you - at the end of the day, you create the content you want to consume, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. ❤

[somekindofsentience]

OCD in Hello Charlotte 3, or why Charles Eyler doesn't (necessarily) have Dissociative Identity Disorder

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR HELLO CHARLOTTE 3

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of severe mental illness, including intrusive thoughts and psychosis. Please be warned if this may cause you to spiral out of control, and take care of yourself.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of this is coming from my personal experience and understanding of OCD. While I do not experience DID, I don't really focus much on it in this, more reframing Scarlett Eyler as a character. You can take Charles' experiences however you feel is accurate.

I feel like the fandom gets tripped up when Charles calls Scarlett Eyler a tulpa.

I've seen a lot of people state that this quote directly implies Charles has DID, and that's therefore canon. But I'd actually like to propose a different take, that Scarlett is a physical manifestation of Charles' intrusive thoughts.

First of all, a tulpa implies a sense of desire - it is willingly created through spiritual meditation. Scarlett is, in no way, a desired existence that haunts Charles. There is some debate as to whether or not the game was originally in Russian or English, but regardless, tulpa just may be what Charles refers to the phenomenon as. It's not as if this directly confirms anything, as we know in-game Charles is only diagnosed with autism, and takes medication for psychosis.

Charles experiences many symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD in particular. He is intensely preoccupied with purity and disease, insisting that the majority of the population has a "parasite", aside from a select few people (Vincent being one of them, and by the end, the only one).

OCD and psychosis have several unique overlaps when acting as comorbid conditions. It has a relatively high comorbidity, due to both conditions often suffering with heightened paranoia. I couldn't find any research which suggests it can cause the hallucination of intrusive thoughts, but OCD does make people more susceptible to hallucinatory disorders, and vice versa.

Many people with OCD, especially those who have experienced symptoms since being a child, start to conceptualise these thoughts as a being - appearing as imaginary friends which act and react negatively. It definitely happened to me - I genuinely thought I had DID for a year or so of my life, because I had this voice in my head that hated me, and it didn't feel like myself. As a child, it just felt like my own mind was trying to bully me, and I didn't understand why.

We know that Scarlett Eyler is the instigator of "punishment" for Charles' actions...

This sort of "punishing" is very reminiscent of OCD. The rule-breaking itself is confusing to an outsiders, and the punishments even more so. However, I find this rule-and-punishment system very relatable, and I'd argue that some people with OCD might have even more confusing rules and punishments - for example, I can't watch very specific youtube videos, I can't explain what the rules I have surrounding them are, and I have strange punishments for this (that which I will not disclose).

Scarlett also doesn't exhibit typical alter behaviour. She never takes over, Charles doesn't seem to lose time, she does little more than act as a harsh observer, and also physically threaten Charles. She seems very real to him, aside from the fact that he knows taking pills will make her "disappear".

For Charles, Scarlett is simply a being who threatens and instigates intrusive thoughts, but in a particular way. Charles still experiences other intrusive thoughts - Scarlett never discusses the parasites, even though that's a very prevalent fear of Charles'.

Scarlett is the manifestation of intrusive thought that Charles is a failure, rather than being a separate existence to Charles.

my little rat analysis lmaoooo. this was my first hello charlotte one, i've always loved charles, he's just peak gender in so many ways, incredibly relatable.

hope your little polycule goes well salutes

[megabuild]

genuinely very sorry if this is unwelcome discourse but i was just thinking about the discussions about secret life and wild life feeling so vastly different from the other series (due to the gimmicks and all) and how much of the fanbase has expressed discontent with it and it all makes me wonder what kind of decisionmaking happened in the planning and the background — i say this specifically bc it’s all been making me wonder if the shift to more ~gimmicks instead of player interacrions as a means to move the “plot” forward was something that was a strategy consciously and actively decided on? like it makes me wonder if grian/the other ccs/whoever were feeling like it was getting harder to maintain viewer momentum in a medium like the life series because of knowing just how much of an emphasis the audience places on mundane words and conversation if that makes sense. even if /we/ know the fandom would never get tired of overanalyzing that stuff. like i wonder if the shift to gimmicks was intended to provide a crutch of sorts to give the ccs more of something to work with to make content, instead of consistently feeling like they’re trying to squeeze interesting and dramatic content out of being on a minecraft server with their friends, which i feel like could be an understandable worry after so many seasons of the same? does any of this make sense im mostly just pondering aloud, do you have any thoughts? obviously everything in the world can be infinitely nuanced and i don’t necessarily agree w the logic if that is the case but idkkkkk i hope the ccs are truly just having fun with their friends if nothing else

not unwelcome at all, and i agree with a lot of what you've said but i do think you're falling into the same trap a lot of people discussing this series do, which is that you have put the focus entirely on the fandom space you (and i) engage with, when in actual fact, that's only a small section of the people the ccs are trying to please. the gimmickification of recent seasons could be in part a response to fandom's interpretation of events (because we know some CCs feels the need to deal with this- see sos amp's "lore ban" and the resulting backlash) but i think it's far more likely an attempt at dealing with youtube's push for content-heavy videos.

this also sort of ties into the idea of "so much of the fanbase" disliking yesterday's session, which i'm guilty of falling into the trap of too, as i said my dash was very divided. but any one of our dashes isn't a great indicator of what the majority are feeling, just like hate posts on reddit or children misunderstanding roleplay in youtube comments aren't. i follow around 700 accounts on here- say even half of those are life series fans, and a further half of that expressed discontent with wild life. that's around 200 people. if you look at the most popular posts in the tag and the amount of followers some tags have, there's about 10k people on tumblr who are fans of the series (likely more, but that's the best i can estimate). the subreddit has 30k+ members. grian's first episode this season got two million views. the criticism coming from some parts of the fandom here is definitely worthwhile and much of it is well founded but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be reflective of the vast majority of watchers- and again, many of these watchers don't actually care that much about story, roleplay, or game "fairness", and will just be watching casually as entertainment.

[pynkhues]

I feel like from browsing tags on tumblr and on AO3 that DM is more popular than Loustat, which I find super interesting. Personally I love both so I’m happy to get any content, but I was initially really surprised that was the case given the amount of content in canon is almost the exact inverse to fandom.

I wonder if this is because DM hasn’t happened yet so there’s more to speculate, on up to and including the dynamics at play. But I do ALSO wonder if it’s because it’s more acceptable to ship and you’re less likely to have gotten hate about DM compared to Loustat over the last two years. Which I find soooo funny because if that’s the case, when it actually happens I suspect people will be in for a rude awakening.

Anyway, just wondering if you’ve noticed this and had any thoughts? You’re very insightful about these things and I know have been in various fandoms before.

Ah, it's kinda funny you bring this up, because I was actually talking about something adjacent to this with @hypermania yesterday.

I think they're a fun ship with a fun dynamic generally, and I think you're right that a part of it comes from the fact that DM hasn't happened yet. I think that opens up the overall possibility of what their dynamic and relationship could be, especially given there's a wide window of time to play around in between the 70s and the modern era. I think their particular dynamic can at first glance look pretty trope-y too in a way that often appeals to fandoms (enemies to lovers! Mutual obsession! A hardened character who's actually a traumatised victim who just wants love and the snarky antagonist who'll love him - entire fandoms have been built on the back of that), and I think as a ship, people probably see them as having less baggage than Louis and Lestat, both in terms of actual canon elements (no dead child, no dv, no murder, etc.) and in terms of -- y'know. *gestures to the fandom*

I also think, at least in terms of fic, that people probably think Daniel and Armand are easier characters to write, which - - mm. I think Daniel definitely is easier to write than Louis and Lestat are, but I don't think Armand is at all. This is actually what me and Courtney were talking about yesterday - that there's a tendency to defang all these characters, but particularly Armand it seems? There's this sort of fanon version of him that's almost as popular as housewife Louis which is as this waifish little weirdo, when Armand's pretty specifically dangerous, especially in the show. He's a master manipulator and an apex predator, and while, of course, he's not just those things, it does seem to be a part of him that's softened when it comes to writing fic which has him falling pretty neatly into a character archetype that I think is just generally very popular in fandoms, even though it's not necessarily the way I'd personally interpret him.

I also - - mm. Trying to find a way to say this, haha. Sex work is a pretty popular trope in fanfic, and it has been in every fandom that I've been in. I think Armand having a canonical past in that is appealing to certain parts of fandom, for better and for worse, to say nothing of the canonical BDSM element of his character (which I think is less popular with Louis, because I think Louis as a dom didn't match with established post-s1 fanon between seasons, which is kind of interesting to me in particular given I think it makes a lot of sense).

So yeah, I think it's a mix of things, ranging from them just generally having an appealing dynamic and being open to possibility and having less (perceived, at least) baggage both in canon and fandom, and them also - particularly Armand - being shaped by fanon into versions that just generally seem to be popular across fandoms.

[trekkie-lkm-archive]

Kink meme archiving project: Star Trek

Hello! I've started a personal project in 2024 to archive the old kink memes on livejournal for my favourite show: Star Trek. I'll be working my way through them all slowly- so while I'm starting with the reboot one (which is a huge undertaking! will definitely take me a while) this blog will go through every single one I can find. This is not to repost fictions, you will not find actual works posted here just links to the original threads I find them on with additional links whenever possible to authors personal livejournals and other places they may have posted it, as well as a final link to where I am archiving said fics via the wayback machine-- Which seems to be as screenshots of the kink page as otherwise the comments (where the fics are) does not appear so please forgive any clunky/outdated appearances

This is not an ask blog, a rec blog, or anything else of the sort. It is purely for archival purposes to have everything located in one place-even then it is mainly to be used as a reference point for myself with my work with the wayback machine. As such asks will never be open and besides this I will not be posting anything besides links.

As it is not a rec blog or anything of the sort I will not be vetting the fics- by this I mean I will not be leaving anything (purposefully) undocumented in regards to these fics, regardless of how I or anyone else may feel about their subject matter--it is a Kink Meme and all possible warnings apply. I will be adding verbatim how the original prompts listed its kinks/warning and if an author added any warnings to the very start of the fic I will do my best to add them as well. But if you see a post and decide to read the fic it contains please do your own research if you know certain content upsets you.

I will not be saving unfilled prompts but the content that is there may not be complete either, basically as long as some sort of fill is there and available I will be posting it--If there claims to be a fic but I have no way to access it it will be made into a special post with screenshots and asks for help in regards to original content if I can not find it on any other archive-- a long shot but maybe someone knows someone who has screenshots or was the original author who can add a link to where they have saved their work!

All of this to say, while tumblr is questionable my posts may or may not end up in the tags, so I hope this pinned post is a useful as a sort of FAQ and that I don't get reported for spam or anything

projects like this are a big undertaking, and it's just me doing this, I can't be sure how fast or if at all I will complete this but I believe it's important to preserve fandom history, the kink memes are a big part of my fandom experience, and I've been so so happy to see them start to make a reappearance as 'prompt memes' on tumblr and A03, as the kink memes on livejournal are over a decade old there's bound to be TONS of fans who have never experienced them and find livejournal confusing to navigate, I'm hoping this inspires people to give older fics a try, give lots of love to those fic writers who might come across this blog, and even gives a boost to the current prompt meme revivals!

While asks are off, if you need to contact me you can reply to this post, I'm hesitant to give out my personal tumblr in case the content causes fandom wank--the internet is a very different place than it was a decade ago and terminology and kink that was commonplace in those circles may be harshly met now but we will see how it goes!

ALSO!!! if at any point in the future you see this and think this would be a good idea for other fandoms ( I know Glee has a fucking HUGE kink meme presence for example) you can just straight up go ahead and do it! no need to reinvent the wheel or ask permission if you like how I organized the info you can have the blue print-- I think the important part is archiving on the wayback machine. Think of how much past fandom history has been lost, and how much will be lost once old giants like livejournal and ff.net go down-- hell I think I even use to read fics on sites like quizzila at one point, gone now, and all the other places that existed like geocities, MAILING LISTS!! EMAIL AND GOOD OLD POSTAGE!

While A03 is doing amazing at archiving, places like the kink memes are hidden gems, so many fics are just small bits of love that don't get posted anywhere else and it's so sad to think about what will be lost.

Edit 11/1/24

I think I'm making steady progress! I know its going to be a slug getting through it all, just this one kink meme has 14 parts to it with like an average of 8000 comments each which could be like . . . at least a thousand or a good few hundred fics in each (would it be an 8:1 ratio??? i feel like that's too high) either way combined i'm looking at a good few thousand fics for ONE kink meme and there's TONS out there-- and if i manage to get through all of them before LJ gets shut down (this could very well take me years) then there's all the communities they get cross posted in who have their own fandom events and a whole bunch of fics to maybe also archive. Or just all the authors i'm finding who have other fics on their Journals who haven't been active in years! But I can't think that far ahead or I get overwhelmed, this is at its core a kink meme archive.

I've sorted out an issue I've had with a handful of fics where the adult warning archives instead of the fic. as far as i can tell there's no solution through it using the main archive (there is with other sites, but LJ is a special old girl) but there's a different archive I can use-though i cant seem to then archive THAT on the main site . . . so that's still a problem, but I've tagged those fics 'other archive' to come back to at a later date.

I have a hard time trying to locate other places people may have posted their fics if they don't leave me very obvious bread crumbs so if you (yes, YOU, the person reading this sometime in the future) see a writer you recognize you're more than welcome to tag them or add additional author info in a reblog or just whisper in the tags or reply (if this blog is still active mystery person reading this a decade in the future)

either way, i'm hoping to get through this particular kink meme by the end of the year. I know it's only 11 days into the new year but i'm really trying to pace myself so I don't burn out. I'm almost positive I can get through the first part this month so an average of one a month shouldn't be impossible (so average like a page and a half a day, which is still like 18 fics/per day)

24/1 lmao ok so I started Vyvanse, and I hyperfocused and basically archived 163 fics in the last 24 hours and finished the first of fourteen sections of the first kink meme on my list-- which is golden! Awesome! Spectacular! 410 fics in just that first part,( they tapered off from an average of 11 fics per page to 8 basically) I'm doing amazing! And--this is looking way to far ahead-- but I like to think now that I'm in a solid rhythm (of how to archive not how to pace myself) once all the kink memes are done I'll start a whole new blog and archive all the other trek comms I can find, because theres a lot of crossposting going on and theres just so many comms with their own special events and things that have been archived but on things like delicious which is gone or in blogs that have been deleted as a whole. like st-anon! But anyway I'm having a lot of fun! And I'm probably not gonna look at this blog for a week but I've got days in the bank baby!

19/2 I've reached part 3!!!! I'm right on track where I want to be mid february, there was a small decrease in the number of fics in #2 but a lot more than going through page by page made it seem-- a common theme I've noticed is misplaced comment fics, which is so fascinating! It's so easy to misplace your comment on threads, and instead of hostility or mod culling it's treated with comradery (get it?) and kindness. I'm still looking at around several thousand individual fics just for this kinkmeme and after this one there's so many more, one is already lost to a purge but there's at least one other huge one. My queue ran out the other day because I was dealing with a dead rat somewhere in my kitchen walls, very distressing, and a bit embarrassing cause this blog doubled its following in the last few days, and it definitely feels a bit strange to know that this project is getting attention. Feels a bit like I'm sitting on my bed, back to the window, and every time I peer around my shoulder I see more people peering down at what I'm doing. Which I WANT people to be able to do cause that's the whole reason I'm doing this but it's like a 'damn wish I'd thought to put pants on' kinda vibe. I don't feel very professional. But still . . . we persevere!!!

22/2 horrific news. Just realised I wasn’t counting the posts with multiple fics . . . As multiple fics. So even the posts with five individual fics. Have only counted as one in my count. The absolute buffoonery. The agonising idea of having to individually check each post. The massive urge to quit and sulk for five years. But still. . . We persevere. So I need to come back to stixk 1 & 2 and recount. But from the start of 3 we’re on track.

[stardust-falling]

So I Identify as pro-ship (the original meaning, specifically) because I just don't think it's my business to cast moral judgment on people because of their tastes in fiction, and if someone's ship or fiction makes me uncomfortable I'll just block and move on. I have a lot of personal reasons for this, including but not limited to being raised for the later part of my childhood in a puritan cult in which basically all fiction was "problematic" and made you an evil person for enjoying it. So, I've seen where the anti line of thinking gets you, and even on the internet I've watched the definition of problematic grow and grow over the years-- if fandom keeps going on this way, eventually the label will consume everything.

However, I also take issue with the blanket statement "fiction doesn't affect reality." Because let's be honest, it does. For example, the racism and stereotypes present in fiction have a massive effect on peoples' perceptions of minorities-- this, I think, is by far the biggest negative effect fiction has on reality directly, at least that I've noticed. Unfortunately, this is not what antis are concerned with, and from what I've seen it's only ever really been used as a "gotcha," while the condemnation of problematic media is almost always centered around nsfw content and relationships.

Even in those cases, yes, maybe there are some people who will copy "problematic" fiction, but let's be real-- the people who commit those kinds of crimes would do it with or without fiction. It's not the fiction's fault, nor is it the storyteller's if someone commits a copycat crime. Additionally, I can only think of one or maybe two incidents in which fiction is confirmed to have influenced a crime.

For the vast majority of people, fiction will not affect their real-life values and beliefs that way. Honestly, most pro-shippers I've seen also don't claim that fiction never affects reality, it's just that there's a difference between fiction and reality. Which is objectively true, and if you don't think so, then please reconsider that stance because it's honestly baffling-- especially when most antis don't have a problem with murder, theft, etc. and only have an issue when it comes to sexual themes.

Anyway, as to where I was going with this-- dark or problematic fiction may cause some harm to those who consume it. There are people who will be triggered by it (that's what warnings and avoiding are for). In very rare cases, there might be someone who is inspired by it. But people approach these issues the wrong way.

Fiction can affect reality, but instead of seeing it as radioactive waste, it should instead be treated as an allergen.

Foods that are allergens can literally kill some people-- but for other people, they're helpful. Problematic/dark fiction can be the same way. I process my trauma by both writing and reading certain dark topics, but other people would end up triggered by it-- like how I enjoy peanuts & they're good for me but they could kill someone else.

Look into studies on schools that have banned peanuts-- there's no significant difference in allergy triggers, and it removes a type of nutrition from the diet of those who need it. This sort of ban is not helpful, and not recommended. Problematic fiction is the same way.

People with allergies will know that they either need to look at a label to see if the allergen is listed, or ask the preparer, or just avoid the food if they're not sure. While there are designated allergen-free spaces, those are not the default-- because if you banned everything anyone could be allergic to, there would be no food anyone could eat. People should be able to avoid their allergens, but that doesn't mean no one else can enjoy eating those foods or benefit from them.

Just like you should stick to allergen-free meals if you're allergic to something, you should also stick to verifiably trigger-free media and spaces if you're triggered by certain content. That doesn't mean it needs to be banned, that doesn't even mean it needs to be sequestered away from wider fandom-- it just means that you need to not follow people or engage with people who post the thing that harms you, because guess what? Just because it may harm you doesn't mean it harms everyone.

[rosesfox]

hi 💓 your ouabh posts were actually the reason why i finally started reading this series, so thank you! i just finished reading acftl for true love a few days ago and absolutely loved it. i was actually surprised when i found out that some people were disappointed with acftl because i thought it was a perfect conclusion to the series. i love it so so much. however, i think stephanie garber just struggles with concluding her series in general because i read the caraval series a few years ago and thought finale was sort of a weak conclusion? i do think acftl was definitely an improvement from finale but i think stephanie just doesn’t know how to wrap up her series. nevertheless, acftl was still so amazing.

another thing that i was so surprised to see with this fandom is that there are people who actually ship tellajacks. i remember reading caraval and thinking that their relationship felt so forced and toxic. jacks clearly does not care for tella and throughout the whole caraval series, all he does is care about himself. it is a bit strange to see that people thought he actually loved tella when all he did was simply love the idea of finally breaking his curse.

ALSO i saw people were disappointed that jacks didn’t give a huge love confession in acftl. to be honest, he does not seem like the person to give a long speech like that so i wasn’t expecting that from him. however, i was so shocked that he said “i love you” to eva. saying i love you to someone is a such a huge thing to say someone, and i think some readers do not understand how important that phrase is, especially when it’s coming from jacks. i thought his love confession was perfect and so romantic.

their first kiss was also so perfect, and it makes me kind of sad to see that some people were disappointed with that scene as well. the way jacks was so careful and gentle during that scene is a stark contrast to the scenes we got of him in the caraval series. in caraval, he was reckless and wild. but with eva, he was sooo careful, and i think that really reflects how he has changed through the five books. also, when he dropped his heart because he couldn’t help kissing her back 🥹 i swooned.

i think what makes evajacks so special and sets them apart from stephanie’s other ships in the caraval universe is that we got to see their relationship develop. it wasn’t insta-love or forced. we actually got to see how both eva and jacks started to truly care for each other and fall in love. it felt so natural. eva and jacks would simply do anything for each other, and i think their love is so beautiful.

that's so sweet, i'm so glad to hear it. 🥰 thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

i very much agree. in one of my analyzes i talked about how evajacks were privileged in a certain way, as they had a very conclusive ending. they are together, they love each other, they are living together and stupidly in love. i mean, it's more than the other sg couples have had so far. i don't think caraval's ending is bad, but it's so abrupt that it feels like there's really a lack of content there. it doesn't really feel like an ending.

it's very surprising to me to even look back and see that people actually liked tellajacks. 😅 i believe this is largely due to jacks' charm and humor, but there is no romance, much less a love triangle, since tella only thinks about the legend throughout the two books in which she is admittedly the protagonist.

i almost didn't expect an ''i love you'' either. i really like this confession of his, i think it suits the character a lot. you know, coming from jacks, especially, this is huge and really shows how he was just madly in love with eva, from my perspective.

YES, HE BEING CAREFUL! it's really a wonderful contrast to when he kissed tella to manipulate and kill her, again showing us how much he, above all, cares for evangeline, how much he loves her. he was so insecure, so scared of losing her and almost went crazy when he thought he had killed her. it's such a cute detail that stephanie added, i even think it was one of the reasons why she chose not to make evajacks' kiss so urgent at first. (although they both get excited in the middle of the kiss and things get hotter! 🤭)

it was so beautiful to see the evajacks falling in love, despite all the odds. they are the greatest couple we have! 😭❤️