#people can just block this stuff
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Buck’s Coma Dream in Retrospect
It fell flat and it had conflicting messages.
I think the two big takeaways we were supposed to get and see were 1) Buck realizing that he’s enough just as he is. 2) Buck understanding/realizing that in the real world he has a family that loves him and accepts him as is, that’s real and not a fantasy (ie his parents loving him anyways and Daniel being alive), and that’s the 118.
Okay, let’s focus first on Buck realizing he’s enough. Well, he may have understood this message in his dream, but did we see this in any capacity in the real world? I’d have to say no, not really. For a few episodes Buck was struggling with the fact that he died, he was unsure how to feel about dying but still being alive, he didn’t know how to feel or act, etc. And then this very important story was effectively dropped, especially once the romance with Natalia was brought in (to only be a love interest, lbr).
Where, after the coma dream in episode 6x11, did we see Buck truly feel like he was enough? At most we have some “well I guess he felt confident in ____” moments. I’d say those are: - Buck going through the five stages of grief in 3 seconds before handing over the baby he helped create. - Buck taking on “leadership” in the finale. I mean yeah, but he was mostly on his own to do that. He kinda had to lead Ravi, but that was it. I’m stating this with a bit of an unsatisfied air because we really hadn't seen the proper build up this season to Buck even taking on a leadership position. So.
Beyond those two pieces, where exactly have we been shown that Buck has learned and felt that he’s enough? I’m really struggling here. (too bad his story about learning to be at ease with himself was forgotten). What also doesn’t help, and this happened in season 5, is we get so little insight into Buck’s mind and how he’s really feeling. Buck in season 4 admitted to hiding his true feelings, but... it still feels like this is the case even now. As if both Buck and the show are often hiding how he really feels about things. So we have to guess a lot.
This is also where dream!Bobby saying “if you only care how people see you, you haven’t learned a damn thing” comes into play in this. You know where this is going. The only thing we got was Buck saying to Eddie in 6x15 or 6x16 that Natalia, after one conversation that predominantly took place off screen, that “she sees him.” Ah. So Buck has learned nothing, got it. In particular, Buck has learned nothing when it comes to his romantic life. After six seasons. My good dudes (gn).....
(we honestly got Natalia not seeing Buck even before Kameron randomly showed up at Buck’s place; we were shown Natalia being overwhelmed and low-key judgmental of Buck’s full life before and after Kameron came in. and she ran away from it all. sound familiar? y’all also please note she came back after Buck was in danger. for all we know, she saw what went down on the news and decided to come back. sound familiar??? we saw Natalia not understanding why Buck helped Kameron and Connor, she had to be told the answer. the only thing we’ve concretely been shown is Natalia finding Buck’s death, a piece of him, “so cool.”)
*deep sigh* Okay, now for point two.
There’s two aspects to how the fantasy vs reality of it all was clumsily handled. (this was inspired from a chat I had with @lovecolibri )
In the coma world, Buck’s parents genuinely seemed to be loving and supportive towards Buck, something Buck never got in the real world. In the scenes of the real world, we were shown the 118 family and Maddie being that: a family that loves Buck and are hella concerned about him. Of course they are, because we’ve spent several seasons making this a fact, a fact that they all love Buck and they love him as he is, unconditionally.
A big HOWEVER. However, also in the real world, we had the Buckley parents present and seemingly concerned about Buck. Sure, this is in part nothing new about them; the Buckley parents only showing concern when Buck is physically hurt. BUT we also have to factor in that in episode 6x10 we were shown the Buckley parents “trying” to, at the very least, be civil with their kids, honestly, and this is my interpretation here, in great part only so they could have a relationship with Jee-Yun (despite them… I don’t think showing that much interest in Jee-Yun beforehand. not that I remember atm).
The conflicting message here is that in the coma world Buck has parents that love him unconditionally, but he knows this isn’t true in the real world. We saw him, as I interpreted it, Buck giving one last hug to coma!Buckley parents in a sort of goodbye to this fantasy, because again Buck knew that he’d never have the relationship he wants or truly deserves in the real world. But Then, when Buck wakes up he has his parents there and “trying”….. But. But Buck had also had the understanding in his dream that the 118 are his family and he wants to return to them, for himself.
I hope y’all are following because this is a bit confusing isn’t it; my explanation and what the show was even trying to say. What we got was coma!Buck understanding that his parents have never and will never “love him anyway.” He has the 118 that do. But then in the real world we have the 118 there for Buck, but ALSO the Buckley parents who still don’t love him anyway, but are “trying,” so… Good enough?
Idk idk, what would have been more impactful was to have Buck return to a reality where he has his 118 found family who can be contrasted, clearly, to his parents that both a) still don’t love him unconditionally (which is true in any case, but...), and 2) not have the Buckley parents there for reconciliation purposes. The timing of the reconciliation really muddles the messaging, if you follow me.
I’ve seen a lot of people view the show as redeeming the Buckley parents (and Mr. Han), when the show was going for reconciliation.
The only parents that have actually gotten redemption stories are Ramon Diaz and Toni Wilson. Those stories worked because both parents acknowledged their wrong doings, and said and showed that they are willing to try to mend things with their kids. Which both have been actively doing.
Neither the Buckley parents nor Mr. Han has been shown to acknowledge their wrong doings to their kids. Instead we were given a silent message of “let’s start from scratch and… just try to get along.” This is why their stories are meant to be reconciliation and not redemption, but they were clearly poorly executed.
For Buck in the real world we just… saw him going with the flow of his parents being there. Oh his mom wants to buy Buck a couch? Buck: “...Sure, I guess. Go ahead.”
Circling back to the 118 family. While we did get some moments and scenes in 6x11 and 6x12 of the 118 being there for Buck… idk, that was kind of it. The rest of the season after that was kinda scattered on - really showing the bond amongst the 118. At least to me. Like, why weren’t there more scenes of Buck and Bobby, especially after May said out loud that Bobby is Buck’s dad? I’m blanking, but did Buck ever say “congratulations on the engagement” to Chimney or Maddie, his sister? We didn’t get any further discussions amongst the 118 of Buck’s death, not really, beyond 6x12 having some check in with Buck, and 6x13 having everyone joke about Buck’s math skills. (i do love the Buck/Eddie of it all, don’t get me wrong. but in hindsight it’s hilariously bizarre that in retrospect we and Buck are being told that Eddie seemingly regularly plays poker with other firefighters. haha ok.)
Hell, why was there never a conversation between Buck and Chimney? Chimney died twice in season 5 (but that was quickly forgotten), and almost died in both seasons 1 and 2. Chimney would absolutely be a perfect person for Buck to talk to about death.
I’m sure I could give more examples, but overall I felt season 6 was weird in how they handled the dynamics on the 118 as a whole. To me, a little too often they were just kept apart because for a show that is supposedly big on found family, it wasn’t that consistent or as present as it should be in season 6. (yes there were definitely good and great 118 moments in season 6, but there could have and i think should have been more for this found family.)
Like holy shit, the finale? We got a baffling time jump from the rescue, so we didn’t get anything like Buck checking in on Bobby, his dad. We didn’t get Buck checking in on Eddie, his best friend and partner. We didn’t get anyone checking in on Chimney, etc etc etc. Everyone was off in their little pairings, and two of the pairings of course were Buck and Eddie with their female love interests. I phrase it like that because that’s exactly what the writers, at present, have given us and nothing more; female love interests. So satisfying.
...
TL;DR If Buck learned and understood that he’s enough in the real world and not just in his coma dream, call me dumb but it wasn’t clear at all. Season 6 overall, while having some good moments with the 118, was honestly lacking in the found family aspect that used to be so important and central to this show.
#911 discourse#911 critical#9-1-1#Evan Buckley#just trying to get out all of my criticism and frustrations#with s6 out of my system#but this is why I tag stuff accordingly so if it's not your jam#people can just block this stuff#my thoughts#long post
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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mandalore the young cont.
original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!
@malcontent-crow
#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)
#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own
#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?
#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?
#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult
#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else
#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?
(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)
sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao
it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed
hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo
SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀
so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.
I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.
one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he
wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.
he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.
he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.
so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.
and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force
so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.
i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.
and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.
so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.
okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?
now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.
so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.
what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?
I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.
now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.
for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?
okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?
maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.
to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.
NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?
okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.
could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.
haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.
now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.
Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.
the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.
#prequel trilogy#time travel au#obi wan kenobi#star wars#crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down#like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised#they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read#and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written#mandalorans#world building#vhonte tervho#will be pulling many characters from repcom obv#but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up#also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply#would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering#this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist#malcontent crow#still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned#several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against#it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore#at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore#does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? �� 👀 does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts
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:D
#okaaaay so.... im sorry about the watermarks- from what ive read this is best practice for protecting your art from ai#though i worry it wont help at all. i just want to try#ive never cared about people reposting my art but the ai stuff makes my skin crawl#anyway if for some reason you want the version without a watermark just tell me and i can email it to you i dont care who has it#knd#kids next door#my art#I JUST WORRY THE WATERMARKS ARE STILL NOT BLOCKING ENOUGH like i worry theyre too light. but i hate using them
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Yes, this is an Open Season poster reference. No, I won't be elaborating.
#cartoon saloon#the secret of kells#secret of kells#aisling sok#song of the sea#saoirse sots#the breadwinner#parvana alizai#wolfwalkers#robyn goodfellowe#mebh óg mactíre#see i mostly tag my stuff so that people can navigate my blog easier and block whatever tags they're not particularly fond of seeing.#here however? i am tagging this for no reason but pure spite and a desire to make the fans of these movies suffer from this image.#you can even see all five stages of grief i went through as i drew this until i just gave up on aisling and parvana
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Linda Flynn-Fletcher
I think Linda Flynn-Fletcher is potentially one of the most misunderstood characters in the show.
It think comes from a natural enough place. Her role in the show is of course, to act as the potential threat to their summers of fun. While they boys never see her as a threat, narratively she's the big bad. If she sees it, its game over.
Here's the thing though. She's a not a bad mom. Her children LOVE her. Similarly to how Phineas and Ferb absolutely adore Candace and would do nearly anything she asked, Phineas, Ferb and Candace all love and respect their mother and don't disobey her. Now a bit of this is clearly Linda being a more permissive parent, but any rules that Linda has Phineas and Ferb never do anything to disobey their mother. While I wouldn't be surprised if there were one or two instances where Candace disobeyed her mother willfully, the closest I can think off off hand is Candace not doing a bunch of chores that she was supposed to do. Really, the fact that all her kids love her, shows how much all her kids feel loved in their household. And I think that's super important. Candace wrote a song about how much she feels loved by her mom, even if her mom is dismissive of Candace. But she still goes with Candace to see what the boys are up to even if she doesn't believe it. She sets boundaries on how often Candace can bust the boys sure. But she hasn't forbidden Candace from doing it altogether. Nor does she punish Candace for presumably lying?
At MOST Linda will say something like: "let's get you out of the sun" after a failed bust. The worst of it I think is probably the time Linda made her promise not to try or suffer the Pharaohs curse. Which, was just some guy in a Pharaoh costume telling Candace curse you. Linda goes out of her way to read books to try and deal with her daughter. She and Candace still clearly hold a lot of affection for each other and do spend a decent amount of mother daughter time together. Linda gives books to her daughter, tries to direct her to other activities, and finds her sleep busting cute, and sometimes goes out of her way to do activities her daughter wants to do with her. All things considered Linda is REALLY patient about Candace's busting. Could she be doing more to get to the bottom of why Candace is presumably acting out? Sure. But Doofensmirtz could also be doing a better job of listening to his daughter and not insulting her (or do we not remember why Vanessa wears earbuds around the house) but we all call him a really good dad.
A LOT of shows have kids hiding a secret from a parent for one reason of another. But while the crux of the show rests on Linda not knowing what her sons are doing, its not because its a secret. The boys aren't hiding it from her. The boys genuinely believe she knows. Lawrence genuinely believes she knows. Candace is the only one in the family who really grasps the situation.
Linda's ignorance, her disbelief of the wild shenanigans that her children get into is easily mistakable for normality. For representing the oppressive day to day. The same thematic antagonist as school. A mom who wants whats best for her kids, and thinks that whats best for them is them being normal, without realizing what's really best for them. After all why else we saw what would happen if she found out in Quantum Boogaloo. But the fact of the matter is aside from that one future (which also featured an effectively evil leader in Doofensmirtz, and therefore implies more factors at play than just Doofensmirtz and Linda's characters), we don't really know how it would play out in the long term. Future Linda even just kinda moves on after discovering the truth.
Linda is exactly like her kids. She just does the same things on a less physics breaking scale. The woman has like 37 different hobbies. She takes a cooking class, donated an art sculpture, is part of a jazz group. She has a background in astrophysics. She was a pop star. She won a meatloaf contest. She takes french lessons. The fact that Linda has several hobbies is part of the reason the formula works at all. Linda is constantly trying new things which gets her out of the house, while her sons are trying their own new things. Her absence is what prompts Candace to have to go looking for her. Also, What Do It Do when the moment Linda gets put in Candace's position she acts the exact same way.
Also it's why she and Lawrence are so compatible. They have a lot of weird hobbies they spend together. She likes Lawrence's history references. They watch car racing together. They went spelunking together. They go bowling regularly enough to have equipment. She has played the bagpipes while Lawrence danced (which sidenote: do you think she taught Candace how to play the bagpipes?).
Not to mention her extended family. Think about it. Her mom was a competitive roller derby skater who once bit a skate and shook it like a dog with a chew toy and pulls elaborate pranks with her identical twin. Really she's a lot like Candace with her aggressive passion. Her dad apparently won a balloon race, but tells the story in the most straightforward way possible, sometimes very oblivious, but is overall a lot like Phineas. Her sister is an adrenaline junky. And back to Quantum Boogaloo for a minute: Her granddaughter is just like Candace, Grown up Candace is a lot like Linda. Do you not see the implications!!?!?!? LIKE???? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT LINDA WAS PROBABLY A LOT LIKE CANDACE AND PHINEAS WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER?!!?! YOU THINK IT SKIPPED A GENERATION OR SOMETHING???
Do you think Linda used to complain about Tiana??? Do you think Linda thought her family was weird and was embarrassed by them??? Do you think Linda ever called herself the only mature/normal member of her family?? LIKE CANDACE DOES????
Anyway, Linda is just like her family. Sure, she is RELATIVELY more normal, but that's relative, and probably simply because the universe bends itself around to keep her from knowing. Linda literally cannot find out about the real nature of her universe. Linda is just a grown up version of her children, seeking to make the most of each day, but within the bounds the universe has set upon her, both as an adult woman and mother, but also in the laws of physics expected of her. But she still makes the most of her life. You don't have to build a roller coaster to make the most of each day and all that.
I think if Linda is representing anything its that even parents can have rich fulfilling lives. Where they make the most out of each day. Having fun with your life doesn't stop with adulthood. Even if you have more responsibilities doesn't mean you can't have fun? Sure childhood is something you can't get back but growing up isn't inherently bad either?
#pnf#phineas and ferb#linda flynn fletcher#The woman is a former pop star#and has a secret background in astrophysics#you would think that would be enough but nooo#i generally don't care to comment on the suspected neurodivergent status of cartoon characters#because neurodivergency exists in the context of society#and cartoon characters exist in a completely different context#and when characters are inspired by real people (like Linda being inspired by Dan's sister) it can get messy#but if Phineas and Candace and Doofensmirtz are ADHD so is Linda#she just has adult woman flavor ADHD#aka the reason that woman and girls go underdiagnosed or are often diagnosed with anxiety instead#I think we often don't recognize how frequently she forgets things#I'm thinking back to that one time she forgot the “stuff” at the grocery store#she stayed up all night making last minute pies#working up to the deadline on an art sculpture#at one point runs out of contacts (presumably because she forgot to get more)#gets overwhelmed when planning the block party#and that's just what I can think of off hand#anyway I will not stand for Linda slander
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"son, i could move the sky for you"
~
so...midnight and sol in the rewrite... (more info below the cut!)
☆
in the scorched ruins of a long abandoned ravine awaits an elderly badger. for seasons, midnight retraced the ancient claw-marks of those before this time; fading echoes of now forgotten spirits. every night she patrols the worn stone, accompanied only by the distant pelt of stars above her.
the low humming of wind bouncing off the gorge walls was scarcely broken--be it by a passing critter or occasional loner--but tonight, something was different.
she follows the shrill wailing--lumbering after it with more energy than she had showcased in moons--down the ragged cliff edge, and into the hollowed out stone. there lay a scrawny cat--a kitten. midnight's ears itch at it's mewling, and her throat tightens.
she reaches out a clawed paw, and pulls the shivering scrap towards herself. the kit whimpers still, but unscrews it's eyes. brilliant sunburnt irises burn into her own; and a warmth she had long been deprived melted the aches of age away--if only for a moment.
those pools of yellow observed her curiously. after a heartbeat, the child nuzzled deeper into her wiry coat.
how long had it been since held new life? how long had it been since was held by someone?
regardless of the answer, she couldnt let go now.
☆
i love sad old people
Original/Alt. Version here:
#wc#midnight the badger#midnight warrior cats#sol wc#sol warrior cats#wc au#warrior cats#rewrite tag#medibangpaintpro#medibangpaint#medibang#digitalart#ooh i cant wait to get to the sol stuff I CANT WAIT#the pic doesnt necessarily depict midnight first finding sol#it can just be general cuddle time at any point during his kittenhood#i estimate hes no more than 3 months though\#i also wanted to represent sol bring warmth into her life because lonely old people and also sun. cause...sol#hehe we didnt even get to rock yet#btw i drew this on the android vers of medibang...which is only good if you find a way to block the ads#its crazy how the ads actively destroyed the app bro
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I am once again asking (begging) people not to send me bottom!logan content.... c'mon..... please.......... this is getting a bit silly now :/
#how much clearer can I beeeee T^T#me: I don't like a thing. in fact it causes dysphoria.#multiple people: *send me the thing*#this happens every. goddamn. time. I state a preference for anything on this site and it's getting real tiring#i'm gonna start blocking I think#anyway as always top logan content is always appreciated!!!!#especially if he's trans!#c'mon guys. just don't send me stuff you know I won't like.....#PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ME A TOP!LOGAN/BOTTOM!WADE ART THING INSTEAD... I NEED TO FILL MY MIND WITH THAT INSTEAD#I'VE HAD A SHITTY DAY I DON'T NEED SADS ABOUT THIS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE T^T#:snivels:#....at least I'm not getting hate for it this time?? :flashbacks to an old fandom:
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
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thinking about how dean’s character gets simplified in fandom, or more specifically, the very black and white lens that gets applied to him. because integral to dean, from my point of view, is that he is both a victim of abuse and a perpetrator of it. that these two things do not cancel each other out or outweigh each other to the point that only one matters. he’s both, you cannot separate him from the fact that he’s both.
but very often, people do. dean is either a victim. or he’s an abuser. it’s like it’s hard for people to hold both those facts in their heads at once. dean went through incredible amount of trauma as a child and an adult, is routinely faced with violence, has resorted to alcohol abuse to cope with it. he’s also a violent person, someone who retreats into tactics of emotional abuse and control when he feels threatened, who hurts the people around him constantly and the people who are closest to him (ie Sam, Cas, later Jack) get the brunt of that abuse. these are just facts. they’re things that happened on the screen and cannot be denied.
and it’s. idk it’s weird to me (not unexpected, because he’s hardly the only character to ever get this treatment) that dean of all people is the one portrayed in such an either/or way when one of the defining moments of the show for him is that during his stint in Hell, he was tortured and then became a torturer to escape that, to feel like he had some control again, and he relished in it. it’s baked into who he is.
#dean as a victim of abuse who goes on to continue those behaviors is still important to me surprise surprise#i didnt want to put this in the main post but also. from observation. when people start projecting onto him This Gets Worse#because. you know. as noted before: big fandom - lots of queer & neurodivergent people here.#tend to be targetted by abuse. statistically.#and mix that with a character you can project heavily upon. one you can project queer/neurodivergent hcs on even.#then like! understandably stressful to reckon with him being canonically kind of shitty sometimes! no one wants to consider their own#potential for shittiness - not even through a character they just heavily relate to!#(note: opposite happens as well. people project onto sam -> see dean hurt sam -> block out the idea that dean could be just as much victim#as he is abuser. its just. easier like that.)#anyway. none of this is like. a crime. just an observation. really we get all our biases from the society we live in — a society obsessed#with perfect victims and evil unredeemable abusers.#all that stuff leaks into fandom takes whether we want it to or not#dean winchester#spn
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Not me genuinely in a dilemma of whether or not I should block someone just for one absolutely ASS take even though it literally won't make a difference from their POV
#I have blocked so many people just by seeing ONE absolutely frigid take of theirs- i am fucking petty alr-the catharsis is insane#me before: oh i dont like this :( <-UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#me now: oh i dont like this actually- blocked#curate my own internet space and yada yada yaknow#even though i probably will never come across them again on my dash even if I didn't block them#i just like pressing buttons I think atp#anyways. If it sucks- hit da bricks!!!#its not even like a personal issue- Im sure they're lovely people but also BLOCKED /j /lh#im just being a dick- dw <3#on the other hand- ou folks can block me any time if you don't like my stuff#i mean it was entirely your choice in the first place so im not like- allowing you to do it or giving you permission or smth!#just letting you know that sometimes- Im the shit that sucks and you gotta hit the bricks from#block me if I have an ass take- i dont care- you do you bestiepop#my post#sput chatters
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One of these days, I'll learn to stop getting upset and scroll past a bad take of Astarion and the blatant bi/pan erasure of them, but that day isn't today.
I also don't see it happening tomorrow.
Anyway, here's a screenshot of my female human bard and the canonically pansexual vampire elven man who adores her.
#'I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE CAN SEE HIM WITH A FEMALE' probably because he's pan???#I'm going to start blocking people on sight for this nonsense#I know it's not something worth getting upset about because he's a fictional character but I can't help myself#people who make posts like 'stop romancing him with a woman' just gets me so mad#he's canonically pansexual#also I paid $80 for this game so I'll play it however I damn well please 💕#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion x tav#elayne the bard#astarion x elayne#jessica's personal stuff#text post#screenshots
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i was wondering when tower unite would go on sale again so i can convince more people to get it and play it with me and then a few minutes later i got a notification saying that it's currently part of a humble bundle! so if you've been interested in tower unite, you can get it (for a minimum of $16) and these 6 other games at a discount
also i should say for those who don't know, "multiple minigames supporting up to 16 players online" is only one of many features and a huge understatement of the amount of things you can do in it. it's a social, arcade, and sandbox game all in one, with tons of customization options for your condos (including the option to upload or use workshop furniture. you even get a nice free starter condo!), avatar (you can upload or use any model on the game's workshop and equip accessories to it), and even the ability to build custom maps for any of its game modes!
and speaking of accessories, the halloween event starts in just a few days and the accessories are my personal favorite part of that (tho there'll also be lots of activities and things to collect in the plaza), so if you like avatar customization, you won't wanna miss out on those anyway. get tower unite. i've been a regular player for years and i love it, and there's also no microtransactions, every item in it is bought with in-game currency you earn by just playing games, earning achievements, ranking up in games or hangout areas (which you can do even just by spending enough time in those, skill is not an issue), and some items are unlockable by meeting EXP milestones so come goof around and play minigames with me and i can give you a tour and maybe show you some stuff i made lmao
#sorry this sounds like an ad i just take every good opportunity to try to get people to play tower unite#my only disclaimer is that some of the userbase is kinda shitty and you could also potentially see anything in peoples' condos#but you can choose whether to see custom images (honestly i'd still recommend allowing them in most cases because everyone uses them)#and you can also block or mute people of course. or ban or kick them if you're hosting a condo/have permissions to do so in someone else's#but my experience with the game is still mostly positive. i've met some great people through it too. including my gf :)#it's a fun game with tons of stuff to do
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it is a crime that ereri was the popular slash ship when eremin was right there.
#I will never forgive the fandom#they have everything and no one picked up on it 😔#eren literally wanted to keep living bc of armin and their promises to each other#gay as hell if you ask me#but fr tho#I just let people be and ship and let ship (bc that should and was the mantra in the 2010s)#but the fact it was the most popular ship 😔😔😔#like I had such little content of my favourite boys#all the cosplayers I followed only made ereri </3 and that was the ship that flooded the tags </33#but im back now and ive seen that eremin is standing strong<3#you can also follow tags and block tags and stuff. though I don’t block anything bc good art is good art#aot#snk#eremin#eren x armin#erearu#wait will this get me hate—#txt
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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