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esotericalchemist · 2 months ago

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𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧 ☽˚｡⋆.

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The rising sign in astrology represents the lens through which we view the world and the role we are meant to play in it. It is the path we walk, guiding how we navigate life’s challenges and opportunities. Each Ascendant reveals unique lessons around identity, purpose, and self-expression, pushing us to evolve beyond surface-level appearances. While the rising sign shapes our external persona, its deeper influence lies in the soul’s journey toward greater self-awareness and growth. Understanding your rising sign uncovers the hidden themes of your life, offering insight into how you can align your personal power with your soul’s purpose.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with an Aries Ascendant (or Rising sign), your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the art of initiation, courage, and self-leadership. As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries rising invites you to be a trailblazer, carving out your unique path. But the deeper lesson isn’t just about boldness or pioneering—it's about learning to direct your fiery, primal energy into purposeful, conscious action.

The Ascendant represents the life path you’re destined to walk, the persona you present to the world, and the first impressions you leave behind. With Aries rising, your approach to life is direct, assertive, and often fueled by a sense of urgency. However, beneath the surface, the true lesson for Aries Ascendant is not simply about pushing ahead with sheer force. It’s about mastering the wisdom of restraint—knowing when to act and when to pull back, reflect, and allow things to unfold. Courage, for you, isn’t always about charging forward; it also lies in standing still, surrendering control, and trusting the process.

On a soul level, Aries Ascendant is learning the delicate balance between independence and interdependence. While you’re meant to express your individuality and trust your instincts, your journey often brings challenges that teach you to consider the needs and perspectives of others. Many Aries rising souls come into this world with a karmic imprint of defending themselves or proving their strength, only to discover that true strength lies within, not in external validation.

The Deeper Path of Aries Ascendant

Embracing Self-Leadership: You are here to lead by example, but true leadership inspires others, not controls them. Your challenge is to balance your fierce independence with empathy, learning that influence comes through inspiring, not overpowering.

Mastering Impulse and Patience: While your nature drives you to act swiftly, the real power comes from learning to pause. Patience becomes your greatest ally as you refine how and when to channel your fiery energy.

Understanding the Self through Challenges: Life may feel like a series of battles, but wisdom comes from discerning which ones matter. Growth arises when you learn when to push forward and when to let go, realizing that not every conflict is worth engaging.

Initiation and New Beginnings: You excel at starting new ventures, but your journey is about seeing them through. A key lesson is learning to stay committed to projects and relationships, even when the initial excitement fades.

Developing Emotional Maturity: Acting on emotion comes easily, but you’re learning that true strength is found in emotional wisdom. Responding thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively, is the key to personal growth and empowerment.

Learning to Work with Others: Though independence is your cornerstone, collaboration will teach you invaluable lessons in balance. Engaging with others doesn’t mean losing yourself—it enriches your growth and deepens your understanding of shared purpose.

Healing the Wounded Warrior: You might feel the need to constantly defend yourself, but healing arrives when you let down your guard. True power isn’t found in endless battles; it’s discovered in cultivating inner peace.

Learning about Boundaries and Balance: Knowing when to forge ahead and when to step back is crucial. Your path is about striking a balance between action and rest, independence and connection, intensity and calm.

The Soul’s Path of Aries Ascendant

Aries Ascendant souls are here to embody courage, but not in the way it’s traditionally defined. Your journey is about discovering that courage goes beyond charging into battle or proving your strength. It’s about showing up as your authentic self, facing your fears, and stepping confidently into the unknown. You are here to explore self-discovery, leadership, and the impact your actions have on the world.

In this lifetime, you’re being called to balance your warrior spirit with wisdom, your fierce independence with meaningful connection, and your impulsiveness with patient reflection. The deeper lesson for Aries Ascendant is that true leadership comes from within, and the most powerful battles are often the ones fought in the heart.

This is the path of Aries Ascendant—full of fire, passion, and initiation, but ultimately guiding you toward a more evolved expression of personal power and authentic selfhood.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

With Taurus as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers on mastering stability, self-worth, and building something enduring. Ruled by Venus, Taurus rising gifts you with an appreciation for beauty, comfort, and the material world. Yet, the deeper lesson for this Ascendant lies in understanding how to balance your innate desire for security with the need for personal growth. While Taurus Ascendant individuals often seek peace and simplicity, their true path involves learning to embrace change without sacrificing their inner grounding.

The Ascendant represents your approach to life, the energy you project, and the path you are destined to walk. As a Taurus rising, you move through life with steady determination, always seeking to build security and foster an environment of peace. However, the challenge with this sign is recognizing that true security doesn’t come from material possessions or external comforts—it resides within. You are here to cultivate a deep sense of inner worth and stability that transcends the physical realm.

Taurus Ascendant people come into this life to confront their relationship with value—both in terms of self-worth and their connection to material success. There is often a karmic lesson in releasing rigidity and embracing flexibility. Clinging too tightly to comfort and familiarity can prevent true growth. Ultimately, your journey is about creating something lasting—whether that’s a legacy, a relationship, or a profound sense of self. Yet, knowing when to let go is as vital as knowing when to hold on.

The Deeper Path of Taurus Ascendant:

Building Inner Security: You are here to discover that true security is born from within. Developing a strong sense of self-worth and inner peace is a fundamental part of your soul’s journey.

Embracing Change: Though you naturally value stability, life often calls you to embrace change. Flexibility is your greatest opportunity for growth, allowing you to evolve while maintaining your grounding.

Learning Patience and Persistence: Your nature is steady and patient, but your lesson is in discerning when persistence serves you and when it keeps you stuck. Finding balance between patience and progress is key.

Exploring Self-Worth Beyond Material Success: While you may seek comfort through material possessions or accomplishments, your deeper journey involves learning that true value stems from self-acceptance, not external achievements.

Mastering the Art of Letting Go: Taurus rising often clings to what is familiar, but you are here to understand the power of release. Letting go of attachments opens the door to greater abundance and inner peace.

Connecting to Earth and Body: With a strong connection to the physical world, you are learning to balance indulgence with discipline. Grounding yourself in nature and maintaining your physical well-being supports your spiritual growth.

Balancing Pleasure and Responsibility: While you find joy in life’s pleasures, your path involves learning to balance enjoyment with duty. True fulfillment comes from integrating both pleasure and purpose, savoring life while honoring your commitments.

Developing Emotional Resilience: Although you prefer emotional stability, life will challenge you to cultivate inner resilience. Facing emotional tests builds lasting strength and helps you navigate life's ups and downs with grace.

The Soul’s Path of Taurus Ascendant:

As a Taurus rising, your soul’s journey is about building a strong and lasting foundation—one capable of weathering life’s inevitable changes. While you are driven to create security, comfort, and stability, the deeper lesson is that true security must come from within, not from external accomplishments or possessions. You are learning to embrace change without losing your sense of grounding and to balance your desire for peace with the courage to grow and evolve.

Your path is one of patience, persistence, and understanding the true value of what matters. While Taurus energy moves at a slow and steady pace, you are also learning that sometimes you must release what no longer serves you in order to make room for greater opportunities. The essence of Taurus Ascendant lies in recognizing that lasting security is an inner state, not defined by external conditions, but by the strong, self-assured foundation you build over time.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Gemini as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering communication, adaptability, and intellectual exploration. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini rising imbues you with a boundless curiosity and a deep desire to understand the world. Your path is one of constant learning, gathering knowledge, and forming connections. However, the deeper lesson of Gemini Ascendant isn’t just about acquiring information but learning how to integrate that knowledge meaningfully and discovering your own truth amid the flood of endless possibilities.

As a Gemini rising, you approach life with a flexible, versatile mindset, always seeking new experiences and perspectives. Your natural talent lies in connecting with others through conversation, ideas, and social engagement. However, your challenge is learning how to ground yourself and find focus amid the myriad of interests and possibilities that captivate you. While your adaptability is a gift, your true growth comes from channeling your mental energy toward something that carries real meaning and depth.

On a soul level, Gemini rising individuals are here to learn how to balance their mental agility with emotional depth and consistency. While you excel at seeing multiple perspectives, your challenge is staying true to your own voice without being overly swayed by external opinions or influences. Gemini Ascendant souls often come into this life with a karmic need to develop focus and discernment, understanding that not every path is meant to be explored, and not every connection is meant to endure.

The Deeper Path of Gemini Ascendant:

Mastering Communication: Your journey involves using your natural gift for communication to forge meaningful connections. The challenge is learning to communicate with depth and sincerity, rather than skimming the surface.

Finding Focus Amid Variety: While you thrive on variety, your soul’s evolution comes from focusing your mental energy. You’re here to learn that depth, rather than breadth, often brings the most lasting growth.

Balancing Logic and Emotion: Though you may lean heavily on logic, your deeper lesson is about harmonizing intellect with emotion. True wisdom lies in balancing both the heart and the mind.

Learning to Commit: You’re energized by change, but the deeper challenge is learning to commit—whether to relationships, projects, or ideas. You’re here to stay with things long enough to see them fully bloom.

Discovering Inner Truth: With so many perspectives and ideas swirling around you, your path involves uncovering what resonates as true for you. Your journey isn’t just about absorbing information but integrating it in a way that aligns with your inner essence.

Embracing Stillness and Reflection: Though you prefer motion and mental stimulation, your growth lies in embracing moments of stillness. Reflection gives you the clarity to process and integrate your diverse experiences.

Understanding the Power of Words: You’re quick-witted and articulate, but part of your journey is realizing the true impact of your words. Words can heal or harm, and you’re here to use them consciously and with intention.

Learning to Ground Mental Energy: Your mind is constantly active, but your soul’s lesson is about grounding this mental energy. Cultivating practices that center and calm your mind will help you stay focused and present in the moment.

The Soul’s Path of Gemini Ascendant:

As a Gemini rising, your soul’s path is one of exploration—of ideas, experiences, and human connections. While your curiosity drives you to explore new horizons, the deeper journey is about focusing your energy and translating what you learn into something meaningful. You’re here to master the balance between your quick, adaptive mind and the emotional depths that anchor you, understanding that true wisdom is not just found in facts but in the meaning you derive from your experiences and connections.

Your journey also teaches you the immense power of words and communication—not just as a tool for gathering knowledge, but as a force for creating understanding and fostering healing. As you grow, you will learn to use your adaptability not as a way to avoid commitment but as a means to gracefully navigate life’s complexities. The essence of Gemini Ascendant is about mastering the art of connection, both with others and within yourself, so you can move through life with purpose and clarity.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Cancer as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers on mastering emotional depth, nurturing, and creating a sense of belonging. Ruled by the Moon, Cancer rising connects you deeply to your emotional world, family, and home. Your approach to life is sensitive, intuitive, and driven by a desire for emotional security. However, the deeper lesson of Cancer Ascendant isn’t solely about protecting your emotions—it’s about learning how to nurture without losing yourself. Your soul’s path is to cultivate security from within, rather than depending entirely on external circumstances for comfort.

With Cancer rising, you instinctively care for others and form strong emotional bonds, but the key to your growth is finding balance. You must learn how to protect your own energy while offering support, recognizing that boundaries are necessary to sustain your emotional well-being. This placement highlights not just emotional sensitivity but the need to develop resilience and to navigate the ebb and flow of life’s emotional tides.

On a soul level, Cancer Ascendant people are here to confront their relationship with vulnerability, family patterns, and emotional security. You may come into this life with unresolved emotional experiences from the past, making it essential to explore and heal your deeper emotional self. Your challenge is learning how to embrace vulnerability without becoming overly defensive or retreating into self-protection. As you progress on this journey, you’ll discover that true emotional security is cultivated within, not through external validation or control.

The Deeper Path of Cancer Ascendant:

Emotional Mastery: Your journey is about balancing emotional sensitivity with resilience. You’re here to understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength when approached mindfully.

Creating Inner Security: While you seek comfort in relationships and family, the deeper lesson lies in developing emotional security within yourself. No external source can truly provide the lasting security you desire.

Balancing Nurturing with Boundaries: You have a natural instinct to care for others, but your path involves learning to set boundaries. Saying no when necessary is key to preserving your emotional energy and well-being.

Healing Family Patterns: You may carry emotional imprints from family or even past lives. Part of your journey is to heal these patterns and create a healthier emotional legacy for yourself and future generations.

Trusting Intuition: Cancer rising blesses you with strong intuitive abilities. You’re here to learn how to trust and follow your inner guidance, using it to navigate challenges and safeguard your emotional well-being.

Learning to Flow with Change: Ruled by the ever-changing Moon, you’re here to embrace life’s natural cycles and transitions. Learning to release emotional attachments that no longer serve you is essential for growth.

Embracing Vulnerability: While you may feel the need to protect your heart, your deeper journey is about being open. True intimacy comes when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and trust in the process.

Caring for Yourself as You Care for Others: You are naturally a caregiver, but part of your lesson is learning to nurture yourself. True caregiving starts with self-care, and you must nourish your own emotional needs before giving to others.

The Soul’s Path of Cancer Ascendant:

As a Cancer rising, your soul’s path is deeply intertwined with emotions, family ties, and the quest for security. However, your greatest growth comes from realizing that true security comes from within. You are here to master the art of nurturing—not just for others but for yourself as well—while maintaining healthy emotional boundaries. While you may feel deeply connected to your roots and family, your evolution depends on healing past emotional wounds and breaking free from patterns that no longer serve you.

Your journey is one of emotional mastery. It’s not about avoiding your feelings but about fully embracing them and understanding their impact on your life and relationships. As you grow, you’ll come to realize that true strength lies in emotional openness and resilience, not in hiding behind protective walls. The essence of Cancer Ascendant is about building a foundation of inner security, allowing you to nurture both yourself and others from a place of emotional wholeness.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Leo as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey is about embracing self-expression, leadership, and discovering your unique personal power. Ruled by the Sun, Leo rising grants you a magnetic presence, a strong need for creative expression, and a drive to leave your mark on the world. However, the deeper lesson of Leo Ascendant isn’t simply about seeking attention or standing in the spotlight—it’s about finding authenticity and purpose in the way you shine. You are here to explore your inner light, not for external validation, but to honor your true self.

As a Leo rising, you approach life with boldness and confidence that can inspire others, but your journey also involves learning humility. Your soul’s path includes balancing your innate charisma with self-awareness and leading without overpowering. While you are naturally drawn to leadership roles, the deeper lesson is understanding that true leadership comes from empowering others, not just yourself. You are here to learn how to lead with heart, using your talents to uplift those around you, rather than seeking control or approval.

On a soul level, Leo Ascendant individuals are here to explore their relationship with ego, self-worth, and how they define success. You may come into this life with lessons around self-importance, learning that true greatness is measured not by external achievements, but by the depth of your authenticity and your ability to inspire others. The challenges you face will push you to move beyond superficial validation and into a deeper understanding of what it means to be truly seen for who you are.

The Deeper Path of Leo Ascendant:

Embracing Authentic Self-Expression: You’re here to fully express yourself, but the key lesson is about authenticity. True self-expression comes from the heart, not from a need for approval or validation.

Balancing Ego and Humility: While you naturally seek recognition, your path involves balancing confidence with humility. True leadership isn’t about always being in the spotlight—it’s about empowering others and lifting them up.

Discovering Inner Confidence: Leo Ascendant teaches you to find confidence from within. External validation can be fleeting, but real strength comes from knowing your worth, regardless of others’ opinions.

Learning the Art of Leadership: You are destined to lead, but authentic leadership involves inspiring others to reach their potential. Your challenge is to lead without overshadowing or dominating those around you.

Tapping into Creative Power: You are a natural creator, but your journey is about using your creative energy for a purpose greater than yourself. You’re here to create not just for attention, but to leave a meaningful impact.

Facing the Fear of Rejection: As a Leo rising, you may fear not being seen or appreciated. Your path involves learning that rejection doesn’t diminish your worth—it’s part of the growth process and helps you develop resilience.

Letting Go of Superficial Validation: While admiration energizes you, your deeper lesson is finding fulfillment beyond external praise. True recognition comes from being true to yourself, not from performing for others.

Leading with the Heart: Leo Ascendant teaches that true power comes from the heart. You’re here to learn how to lead with compassion and authenticity, using your gifts to inspire and uplift others.

The Soul’s Path of Leo Ascendant:

As a Leo rising, your soul’s journey centers on personal empowerment, creativity, and learning how to shine in an authentic way. While you are naturally drawn to leadership and recognition, your deeper lesson is about using your gifts to inspire others rather than seeking approval. You’re here to embrace your inner light, learning that true greatness comes not from external achievements but from living with integrity and heart-centered purpose.

Your path is about discovering what makes you truly unique and expressing it boldly. However, the challenge lies in balancing this self-expression with humility and service to others. As you grow, you’ll learn that being seen isn’t just about standing out—it’s about connecting with others through authenticity, inspiring them to find their own light. The essence of Leo Ascendant is leading with love, creativity, and a deep understanding that your true power comes from the heart, not the ego.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Virgo as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the art of service, discernment, and self-improvement. Ruled by Mercury, Virgo rising gifts you with an analytical mind, a deep need for order, and a desire to refine both yourself and the world around you. However, the deeper lesson of Virgo Ascendant isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about embracing imperfections in both yourself and others, while still working toward improvement. You are here to develop the skill of discernment over criticism, learning to balance your drive for excellence with compassion and acceptance.

As a Virgo rising, you approach life with responsibility and practicality, always seeking ways to improve, organize, and serve. Yet, your journey also involves understanding that true service comes from a place of humility and self-compassion. While you often seek control through routines and structure, your path teaches that life’s greatest growth comes from adapting to change and embracing the inevitable messiness. The challenge is to realize that not everything can be perfected or fixed—acceptance is just as important as improvement.

On a soul level, Virgo Ascendant individuals are here to explore their relationship with control, health, and their need to feel useful. You may enter this life with a strong sense of duty and a desire to prove your worth through productivity. However, the deeper lesson is that your value doesn’t stem from how much you do or how perfect you are, but from living your life authentically. Learning to let go of the constant need for improvement and finding peace in simply being is a key part of your growth.

The Deeper Path of Virgo Ascendant:

Embracing Imperfection: You’re here to improve both yourself and others, but your deeper lesson is to accept imperfection. True growth occurs when you understand that flaws are an essential part of the journey.

Balancing Service with Self-Care: As a Virgo rising, you naturally focus on serving others, but the deeper challenge is learning to care for yourself as well. Balance is essential—you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Letting Go of Over-Control: While order and routines help you feel secure, your path involves learning to adapt. True mastery lies in flexibility, not rigidity.

Learning to Trust the Process: You are analytical and often seek the “right” way to do things, but your journey involves trusting that not everything can be planned or perfected. Let life unfold as it’s meant to.

Developing Emotional Intelligence: While Virgo rising tends to focus on practical matters, your deeper lesson is developing emotional intelligence. Balancing logic with empathy and intuition is key to your growth.

Transforming Criticism into Discernment: You have a keen eye for detail, but your growth involves using discernment rather than criticism. Your insights are meant to uplift and heal, not to judge or hurt.

Healing the Need for Perfection: Virgo rising often feels pressured to be perfect, but your journey is about releasing that burden. Your value comes not from what you do, but from who you are at your core.

Finding Meaning in Service: You are drawn to helping others, but true service comes from the heart, not obligation. The deeper lesson is to serve with love and find joy in uplifting others.

The Soul’s Path of Virgo Ascendant:

As a Virgo rising, your soul’s journey is about refining your ability to serve, improve, and discern, but it also challenges you to balance this with self-acceptance. While you are naturally inclined to seek perfection, your deeper lesson is embracing the imperfections that make life real and meaningful. You are here to master the art of service, not through judgment or criticism, but through humility and compassion.

Your path involves learning to trust the process, understanding that not everything can be controlled or perfected. As you grow, you will find that true peace comes from accepting yourself and others as they are, while still striving for personal and spiritual growth. The essence of Virgo Ascendant is about healing and service, using your analytical gifts to better the world, but always with an open heart and a sense of inner peace.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Libra as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey centers around mastering balance, relationships, and the art of harmonious connection. Ruled by Venus, Libra rising endows you with natural grace, charm, and an innate desire for peace and beauty. While Libra rising is often seen as diplomatic and cooperative, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant goes beyond maintaining harmony with others—it’s about finding true balance within yourself. You’re here to learn that harmony begins inside, and that relationships flourish when you honor your own needs just as much as those of others.

As a Libra rising, you instinctively seek fairness and equality, always mindful of how your actions affect those around you. However, your journey also requires learning how to assert your individuality without losing yourself in the pursuit of keeping the peace. The path for Libra Ascendant involves integrating the self with others, balancing giving and receiving, and understanding that sometimes conflict is necessary for growth. This rising sign challenges you to cultivate inner equilibrium, so you can navigate life with poise while not relying on external validation or approval.

On a soul level, Libra Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around partnership, self-worth, and decision-making. You may struggle with indecision, trying to please everyone, but your deeper growth comes from learning to make choices that reflect your true values. Libra rising is about mastering the art of relationships—not just in romance, but in all interactions—by learning to assert your needs without fear of disrupting the peace. Ultimately, you are here to explore the dynamic interplay between self and others, creating harmony through authentic, balanced connections.

The Deeper Path of Libra Ascendant:

Learning to Balance Self and Others: You’re here to master the balance between your own needs and the needs of others. True harmony arises when you honor yourself while fostering genuine connections.

Cultivating Inner Peace: While you seek external harmony, your soul’s journey is about developing inner peace. External balance is a reflection of your internal state, and true peace comes from within.

Mastering the Art of Decision-Making: Libra rising often struggles with indecision, but your path involves learning to make choices with confidence. The deeper lesson is trusting yourself and standing firm in your values.

Embracing Conflict for Growth: Although you prefer peace, part of your journey is about accepting conflict as a catalyst for growth. Not all tension is negative—sometimes it’s necessary for deeper understanding and evolution.

Balancing Relationships and Independence: You thrive in relationships, but your growth lies in balancing partnership with independence. You are here to learn that you can be whole on your own, while still deeply connected to others.

Finding Authentic Expression: While you’re naturally diplomatic, your deeper lesson is to express your truth, even if it disrupts the harmony. Genuine relationships are built on authenticity, not just agreement.

Learning to Give and Receive: Libra rising tends to focus on giving, but your journey also involves learning to receive. You’re here to find balance between generosity and allowing yourself to accept support.

Developing Inner Confidence: While external validation may feel important, your path is about building inner confidence. You’ll learn that your worth isn’t determined by others’ approval but by your own sense of self.

The Soul’s Path of Libra Ascendant:

As a Libra rising, your soul’s journey revolves around balance—both in relationships and within yourself. You are here to master the art of connection, learning how to create harmonious interactions without sacrificing your individuality. While you’re naturally inclined to avoid conflict, the deeper lesson is recognizing that true peace sometimes requires difficult conversations or decisions. You’re learning to stand firm in your truth, even when it challenges the external harmony you cherish.

Your growth comes from embracing the complexities of relationships, understanding that balance doesn’t always mean compromise. Often, it means knowing when to assert yourself and when to yield. The essence of Libra Ascendant lies in finding harmony across all aspects of life, from relationships to personal values, while maintaining an authentic and confident sense of self. As you grow, you’ll discover that true beauty and peace come from within, and that the most meaningful connections are built on mutual respect, authenticity, and balance.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Scorpio as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering the themes of transformation, power, and emotional depth. Ruled by Mars and Pluto, Scorpio rising brings intensity, magnetism, and a profound need to understand life’s mysteries. While often perceived as secretive, determined, and complex, the deeper lesson of Scorpio Ascendant is about navigating the cycles of life, death, and rebirth—both in literal and metaphorical terms. Your path is one of constant transformation, where you’re called to shed old identities, face your fears, and embrace the unknown.

As a Scorpio rising, you approach life with intensity and purpose, always seeking to go beyond surface-level experiences. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal growth, you are drawn to explore the depths. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to let go of control and trust the process of transformation. Often, you resist change out of fear of vulnerability or loss, but the real lesson here is that true power comes from surrender, not control. Your path involves facing your shadow, healing from past wounds, and emerging stronger, more empowered, and more authentic.

On a soul level, Scorpio Ascendant individuals are here to explore themes of power, control, intimacy, and trust. You may come into this life with karmic wounds related to betrayal, abandonment, or emotional trauma, making it essential to heal and transform these energies. Your lesson is to move through life with courage and emotional depth, rather than fear or mistrust. Ultimately, you’re here to discover the alchemy of transformation, using the challenges you face to evolve into a more resilient and powerful version of yourself.

The Deeper Path of Scorpio Ascendant:

Mastering Transformation: You’re here to experience cycles of change, growth, and rebirth. Embracing transformation, rather than resisting it, is key to your soul’s evolution.

Balancing Power and Vulnerability: While you crave control, your deeper lesson is that real power comes from vulnerability. Being open and emotionally honest makes you stronger, not weaker.

Learning to Trust: Trusting others can be difficult for you, but your path involves learning to trust both yourself and those around you. Healing past betrayals allows you to open up to deeper connections.

Facing Your Fears: Scorpio rising challenges you to confront your deepest fears—whether it’s fear of loss, betrayal, or emotional exposure. True growth comes from facing these fears head-on.

Healing Emotional Wounds: You carry intense emotional energy, but your journey is about healing past wounds instead of letting them define you. Emotional transformation is central to your path.

Mastering Intimacy: You crave deep, meaningful connections, but your lesson is to balance intimacy with personal freedom. True closeness comes when you let go of control and allow trust to build naturally.

Using Power Wisely: You have a magnetic presence and influence over others, but your soul’s lesson is to use your power responsibly. Manipulation or control will backfire—authentic empowerment is your goal.

Surrendering to Life’s Mysteries: Scorpio rising calls you to embrace life’s mysteries rather than trying to control every outcome. Trusting the process of life, and knowing when to surrender, is key to your growth.

The Soul’s Path of Scorpio Ascendant:

As a Scorpio rising, your soul’s path centers on deep emotional and spiritual transformation. You are here to master the cycles of death and rebirth—not just in a literal sense, but in how you handle change, loss, and personal evolution. While you naturally crave control and intensity, your true growth comes from learning to let go of fear and embrace vulnerability as a source of strength.

Your journey involves healing past wounds, facing your shadow self, and discovering that real power lies in surrender, not domination. As you evolve, you will learn to channel your emotional depth and intensity into meaningful transformation, both for yourself and others. The essence of Scorpio Ascendant is about rising from the ashes, continually transforming into a more empowered, authentic, and resilient version of yourself. True strength is found in vulnerability, and your path is one of embracing both the light and shadow aspects of life with courage.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Sagittarius as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering freedom, exploration, and the pursuit of truth. Ruled by Jupiter, Sagittarius rising brings a natural optimism, a thirst for adventure, and an insatiable desire for knowledge. While this sign is often associated with wanderlust and philosophical exploration, the deeper lesson of Sagittarius Ascendant is about understanding that true freedom comes not just from external exploration, but from inner growth and wisdom. You’re here to expand your horizons and deepen your understanding of yourself and the world around you.

As a Sagittarius rising, you approach life with a sense of adventure, constantly seeking new experiences, cultures, and ideas. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to balance your desire for freedom with responsibility. While you may resist confinement and seek constant exploration, your deeper growth lies in recognizing that structure and commitment can be tools for deeper exploration rather than limitations. Your soul’s path is about discovering that true expansion comes from integrating life’s lessons and cultivating wisdom, not just seeking the next thrill.

On a soul level, Sagittarius Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around belief systems, truth, and personal growth. You may have a karmic need to break free from dogmatic thinking or rigid structures from past lives, pushing you to seek your own truth. However, the deeper challenge is to understand that freedom isn’t simply about escaping or rebelling—it’s about finding meaning and purpose in what you explore. Ultimately, your journey is about aligning your adventurous spirit with a deeper sense of purpose and inner wisdom.

The Deeper Path of Sagittarius Ascendant:

Seeking Inner and Outer Freedom: You’re here to explore the world, but the real lesson is discovering freedom within yourself. True liberation comes from personal growth and wisdom, not just external adventures.

Balancing Adventure with Responsibility: While you crave freedom, your journey involves balancing exploration with responsibility. Commitment, when aligned with your values, can deepen your experiences rather than limit them.

Discovering Personal Truth: You’re naturally drawn to philosophies and belief systems, but your deeper path is about finding your own truth. The lesson is to explore openly without clinging to rigid beliefs or dogma.

Facing Restlessness: Sagittarius rising often brings a sense of restlessness, constantly seeking new horizons. Your growth involves learning that true satisfaction comes from integrating your experiences, not just chasing the next adventure.

Cultivating Wisdom: Ruled by Jupiter, your journey is about expanding your mind and heart. True wisdom is gained not just by learning, but by applying that knowledge to create a meaningful and purposeful life.

Learning to Commit: You may resist commitment, fearing it will limit your freedom, but your deeper lesson is understanding that commitment can lead to deeper fulfillment. True freedom can coexist with dedication to a path, person, or idea.

Expanding Beyond the Self: While Sagittarius rising drives you toward personal growth, the greater lesson is about contributing to something larger than yourself. You’re here to use your wisdom and experiences to inspire and uplift others.

Balancing Idealism with Realism: You’re naturally optimistic, but your journey involves grounding your ideals in practical reality. True growth comes from aligning your grand visions with actionable steps and realistic goals.

The Soul’s Path of Sagittarius Ascendant:

As a Sagittarius rising, your soul’s journey is about seeking and expanding—both in terms of knowledge and experience, but also in spiritual growth. You are driven by a need to explore, learn, and discover, but the deeper lesson is finding a sense of inner freedom that transcends external circumstances. Your path involves balancing your desire for adventure with the wisdom gained from reflection and commitment.

You’re here to explore not only the physical world but also the realms of philosophy, spirituality, and personal growth. However, your growth comes from understanding that constant movement and external exploration aren’t always the answer. Sometimes, stillness, reflection, and deepening your understanding of life’s lessons bring the greatest expansion. The essence of Sagittarius Ascendant is about the pursuit of truth, meaning, and wisdom—using your experiences to live a life aligned with your highest ideals and values. Ultimately, your journey is about finding freedom in every aspect of life—mentally, spiritually, and emotionally—so you can inspire others to do the same.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Capricorn as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering discipline, responsibility, and the path of self-mastery. Ruled by Saturn, Capricorn rising brings a strong sense of purpose, ambition, and a deep desire to build something lasting. While Capricorn is often associated with success and structure, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant involves learning to align your external achievements with inner values. You’re here to walk a path of steady progress, embracing patience, persistence, and the understanding that true mastery takes time.

As a Capricorn rising, you approach life with a pragmatic and grounded perspective, often driven by long-term goals and a sense of responsibility. However, the challenge is balancing your external ambitions with inner fulfillment. You may feel pressured to meet societal expectations or climb the ladder of success, but your deeper journey involves finding meaning in what you build. Capricorn Ascendant isn’t just about material success—it’s about creating something that reflects your soul’s purpose and inner integrity.

On a soul level, Capricorn Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around authority, responsibility, and self-worth. You may carry karmic imprints of feeling burdened by duty or a need to prove your worth through hard work. However, the deeper lesson is understanding that true success isn’t defined by external validation—it’s about achieving inner mastery. You are here to take responsibility for your life, while also realizing that rest, emotional nourishment, and flexibility are vital to the journey.

The Deeper Path of Capricorn Ascendant:

Mastering Discipline and Patience: You’re here to build something lasting, but your lesson is understanding that real success takes time. Patience and consistent effort are crucial to your soul’s growth.

Balancing Ambition with Inner Fulfillment: While you strive for external success, your journey involves learning that true fulfillment comes from within. Aligning your goals with your deeper values is essential.

Letting Go of External Validation: Capricorn rising often feels the pressure to meet societal expectations, but your deeper lesson is learning that your worth isn’t defined by status or achievements.

Embracing Emotional Vulnerability: Though you project strength, your soul’s path involves learning to open up emotionally. True strength comes from vulnerability and allowing others to see your softer side.

Building a Legacy with Integrity: You are driven to create something meaningful, but the real lesson is about doing so with integrity. You’re here to build a legacy that reflects your inner values, not just external success.

Learning the Value of Rest: Capricorn Ascendant often pushes too hard, but your journey involves recognizing that rest is as important as work. Balance is essential for long-term success and well-being.

Taking Responsibility for Your Life: While you are naturally responsible, the deeper lesson is taking full ownership of your life’s direction. This involves letting go of blame and embracing your power to shape your destiny.

Transforming Fear of Failure: You may fear failure or struggle with self-doubt, but growth comes from understanding that mistakes are part of the journey. True mastery is built on resilience and learning from setbacks.

The Soul’s Path of Capricorn Ascendant:

As a Capricorn rising, your soul’s path centers on responsibility, perseverance, and the art of building something enduring. You are here to master discipline, but not at the expense of your emotional well-being. While you are naturally driven to achieve success in the material world, your deeper lesson is about aligning those achievements with your inner truth. You’re here to learn that true success isn’t measured by external accolades, but by the integrity, purpose, and fulfillment you find along the way.

Your journey involves learning to embrace vulnerability, rest, and emotional nourishment—understanding that these are essential for long-term success. Capricorn Ascendant teaches you that while hard work and ambition are important, balance is key. As you grow, you’ll realize that true mastery comes from building a life that reflects both your external goals and internal values, creating a legacy that is both meaningful and sustainable. Ultimately, the essence of Capricorn Ascendant is about walking the path of self-mastery, building something lasting, and achieving success that aligns with your soul’s purpose.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Aquarius as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering individuality, social consciousness, and revolutionary thinking. Ruled by both Saturn and Uranus, Aquarius rising combines the discipline and structure of Saturn with the innovation and radical change of Uranus. While Aquarius is often seen as progressive, detached, and intellectual, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant involves balancing your unique vision with the need for meaningful connection. You’re here to push boundaries, challenge societal norms, and break free from outdated structures, but the real growth lies in using your individuality to uplift the collective.

As an Aquarius rising, you approach life with a strong sense of independence, often feeling like an outsider. You are driven by a desire to explore unconventional paths, question authority, and seek out new ideas. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning how to maintain your individuality without isolating yourself emotionally. While freedom is important to you, your soul’s journey is about integrating your personal ideals into the larger collective. You’re here to learn how to use your visionary thinking to create meaningful change, both for yourself and society.

On a soul level, Aquarius Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around community, freedom, and innovation. You may struggle with balancing your desire for autonomy with the need for connection, often resisting conformity or traditional structures. However, the deeper lesson is that true freedom doesn’t come from rejecting all limitations—it comes from mastering the balance between independence and collaboration. You are here to revolutionize, but also to build meaningful relationships that honor both your individuality and the needs of others.

The Deeper Path of Aquarius Ascendant:

Embracing Individuality with Purpose: You’re here to be different, but the lesson is about using your uniqueness for a higher purpose. True individuality comes from aligning your personal vision with collective progress.

Balancing Freedom with Connection: While you crave independence, your growth involves learning to balance this with meaningful relationships. True freedom doesn’t come from isolation but from mutual respect and shared goals.

Learning to Lead with Vision: You’re a natural visionary, but your path is about leading in a way that inspires others. Your ideas are revolutionary, but you must ground them in reality to create lasting change.

Mastering Detachment and Emotion: Aquarius rising can lead to emotional detachment, but your journey is about learning when to engage emotionally. Progress comes from both intellect and heart.

Breaking Free from Old Structures: You’re driven to challenge the status quo, but the lesson is about doing so constructively. Revolution is necessary, but you’re here to replace outdated systems with something meaningful and sustainable.

Embracing Your Role in the Collective: While you’re fiercely independent, your growth comes from recognizing your place in the larger community. You’re here to uplift others with your ideas, not just stand apart.

Innovating with Integrity: You’re a natural innovator, but your deeper lesson is about using your ideas with responsibility. True progress comes from integrity and care for the greater good.

Finding Freedom Through Structure: While you resist restriction, you’ll learn that some structure is essential for long-term progress. True freedom comes from discipline, allowing your vision to take form.

The Soul’s Path of Aquarius Ascendant:

As an Aquarius rising, your soul’s path revolves around blending innovation with responsibility, individuality with community, and intellectual freedom with emotional connection. You are here to be a trailblazer, challenging conventional thinking and creating new paths for others to follow. However, your deeper lesson is learning that true progress isn’t just about breaking free from the old—it’s about building a new, more enlightened future that benefits everyone.

Your journey involves balancing your desire for personal freedom with the understanding that meaningful change comes from collaboration. You’re here to lead, but not from a place of detachment—instead, you’ll find your greatest strength comes from connecting with others and uplifting the collective with your unique vision. The essence of Aquarius Ascendant is about creating a new world, one where individuality and community coexist, where innovation serves humanity, and where freedom is found through the integration of personal and collective growth.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

If you’re born with Pisces as your Ascendant, your soul’s journey revolves around mastering compassion, spiritual growth, and the ability to transcend the material world. Ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, Pisces rising brings a natural connection to the unseen realms, deep sensitivity, and a desire for unity. While Pisces is often associated with dreaminess, creativity, and emotional depth, the deeper lesson of this Ascendant is about learning to navigate life’s illusions and emotional complexities. You’re here to cultivate inner wisdom, spiritual awareness, and the ability to merge with the collective consciousness, all while maintaining a strong sense of self.

As a Pisces rising, you approach life with fluidity and openness, often seeing beyond the surface and into the emotional or spiritual core of situations. However, the challenge of this rising sign is learning to balance your sensitivity with boundaries. Pisces Ascendant can blur the lines between self and others, making it easy to absorb the emotions and energies around you. Your path involves finding a way to serve and heal without losing yourself in the process. You are here to develop discernment, knowing when to give and when to protect your own energy, so you can stay connected to both the physical and spiritual worlds.

On a soul level, Pisces Ascendant individuals come into this life with lessons around compassion, service, and mastering emotional boundaries. You may feel drawn to escape the harshness of reality or struggle to ground yourself in the material world, but your deeper growth comes from learning to balance your spiritual sensitivity with practical action. Ultimately, you are here to bring your dreams and ideals into the world, using your innate compassion to inspire and heal while staying connected to your own truth.

The Deeper Path of Pisces Ascendant:

Balancing Sensitivity with Boundaries: You’re deeply empathetic, but your lesson is learning to protect your energy. Boundaries are essential to avoid emotional overwhelm and maintain your sense of self.

Learning to Ground Your Spirituality: You’re naturally connected to the spiritual realm, but your growth comes from grounding that energy in the material world. Your challenge is turning dreams into reality.

Mastering Emotional Discernment: While you’re deeply intuitive, part of your journey involves learning to discern between your own emotions and the energies you absorb from others. Clarity comes from emotional awareness.

Healing Through Compassion: Pisces rising gives you the gift of compassion, but you’re here to learn that true healing comes from balance. You can’t save everyone, and your journey involves understanding when to step back.

Navigating Life’s Illusions: You may be prone to seeing life through rose-colored glasses, but your soul’s growth involves facing reality without losing your optimism. The lesson is in balancing idealism with practicality.

Serving Without Sacrificing Yourself: You’re naturally inclined to serve others, but your deeper path is learning to give without losing yourself. True service requires self-care and personal boundaries.

Embracing the Unknown: Pisces Ascendant teaches you to flow with life’s uncertainties, embracing the unknown rather than fearing it. Your spiritual growth lies in surrendering to life’s mysteries.

Bringing Dreams into Reality: While you’re naturally idealistic, your soul’s journey is about manifesting those ideals in the physical world. You’re here to learn how to take your visions and make them tangible.

The Soul’s Path of Pisces Ascendant:

As a Pisces rising, your soul’s journey is about merging the spiritual with the material, using your deep sensitivity to heal and inspire those around you. You are here to master the balance between compassion and self-care, learning that true service comes from a place of strength, not sacrifice. While you may be tempted to escape the harsh realities of life, your deeper lesson is about embracing both the seen and unseen worlds, finding a way to bring your spiritual insights into practical form.

Your growth comes from learning to navigate life’s illusions, finding clarity amid the emotional and spiritual currents that surround you. As you evolve, you will discover that true fulfillment comes from turning your dreams into reality, using your gifts of empathy and intuition to uplift others while maintaining your own emotional and spiritual integrity. The essence of Pisces Ascendant is about transcending the ordinary, finding meaning in life’s mysteries, and sharing your compassion and wisdom with the world in a way that honors both your soul and the greater collective.

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libbybee · 20 days ago

Text

IN THE HEAT OF YEARNING — SA.

summary: after cazador's defeat, astarion faces something he thought lost to time; his heat returning with a force he never expected. the unfamiliar sensation of longing mixed with freedom make him torn between the instinct to dominate and the desire to surrender to you. warnings: MDNI 18+, female!reader, sub!dom vampire spawn, shameless smut, mentions of astarion's past, pleading, dependence, masturbation [M], anorgasmia [M], piv, vaginal sex, cock riding, unprotected sex, creampie. word count: 6,064 masterlist . playlist . AO3 . image

a/n: english isn't my native language, sorry if there are grammar mistakes.

‎

It had been weeks, perhaps months, since you helped him put an end to his master, Cazador. Even now, Astarion wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do.

The sensation of freedom hit him like a tornado tearing through his life, leaving him adrift and uncertain. Even the pronunciation of the words caught on his tongue, clinging to his throat whenever he tried to voice a trace of what he felt.

Declaring himself “unchained” sounded jarring to his ears, but, fortunately, there you were to help him adjust to these unfamiliar emotions that weighed on his shoulders. With everything that freedom entailed. Everything.

He hadn’t told you about this... personal problem of his. Truthfully, he couldn’t bring himself to do it, ashamed of what you might think or say if you found out.

Astarion knew it was foolish to feel so ashamed, especially considering the kind of person you were and how much better you treated him than the nightmares of his past—the loneliness that had surrounded him since he had begrudgingly accepted the curse of immortality. But, gods, just thinking about it made his throat tighten painfully and his hands tremble with cold sweat.

He tried his hardest to confess to you on those unique occasions you shared in private, when there was no one else around to overhear, but every time, he backed down.

After so many failed attempts, he stopped considering it altogether, only cursing himself for not telling you sooner.

Now, feeling this unbearable urge, he was determined not to say a word. Nothing in hell would make him... except his very self.

His lips whimpered pathetically, your name slipping through gasps muffled against the fabric of your panties. His eyelids squeezed shut, his other hand massaging the head of his cock tightly enough to hurt, desperately trying to mimic the sensation of your warm walls wrapped around him. Only to fail miserably.

His vampirism had awakened this cursed heat, a condition he loathed to the very core of his damned nature, yet he couldn’t prevent or fight against it. He had spent decades quelling his desires in solitude, without anyone to ease the craving when he needed it most.

The self-pity of it swelled his skin, feeling himself become so... damned “sweetly necessitous” and so lovesick for anyone who crossed his path in those times when he was still delivering prey to his master. But now he had you. And gods, you were going to be a problem. The faint traces of your arousal on the crushed fabric pressed to his nose were enough to drive him mad; you smelt so, so irresistibly good...

Fleeting memories of the first time he bit you flashed through his mind in a haze of desperation to reach his orgasm. The sweetness of your blood, like rich port wine on his tongue, was the finest thing he’d experienced in his entire existence.

He was quite clear just how thoroughly you’d unravelled his self-reliance. This inefficiency blazed brighter than ever in his mind each time he found himself dependent on you and you weren’t there for him, just like now. Craving you in a way he hadn’t needed anyone in lifetimes.

The sheer sensation of having your naked body pressed up against his while he buried himself balls deep inside you, the feeling of the perfect, welcoming warmth from that exquisite pussy of yours, gripping him as if he were the most vital thing in your life... He’d give anything to feel you like that right now; have you easing his agonising heat until his pain and loneliness were fully sated. But these thoughts only sent his urgency skyrocketing higher than ever.

The side of your shared bed still held your intoxicating scent, and pressing your panties to his sharp nose reminded him of how tightly your walls would clench around him every time he thrust in and out of your perfect cunt as he fucked it exactly how he knew to so well. An intense desperation took hold of him, slamming his clenched fist into his quivering pelvis to fuck his hand with a ferocity that echoed how he would fuck you again if you were here. By now, thick beads of his precum trickled from his swollen tip, sliding down his pale, agile fingers.

His silky white curls clung to his sweat-dampened forehead and nape, his teeth gritting in nothing but frustration at his inability to reach that elusive release. Each time he came close, the peak seemed to slip away, taunting him from just out of reach. But he couldn’t fully blame himself, because deep down, he knew he didn’t want to cum like this.

It wasn’t just the release he craved; it was you. Without you here, everything felt hollow; his touch was a pitiful substitute for the real thing. He wanted nothing more than to cum inside you, to hear the sweet, melodic sounds of your moans and gasps as his warm semen filled you, seeping out around the edges of his cock as he stayed buried deep within. He longed to watch you bask after your climax, knowing you were utterly his in that moment, both bound in bliss.

The fantasy gripped him, vivid and fierce—an impossible hope to leave something lasting within you, to fill you until he could almost imagine creating life together, even though he knew his cursed being would never allow such a thing. Yet the thought alone, however unattainable, only drove his need further, intensifying his urge to fuck you completely, as if every part of him belonged to you, even in ways that fate had denied him.

A deep flush spread from his cheeks to the very tips of his sensitive ears as he realised just how utterly charmed he was by you and how his mind overflowed with visions of you and only you. He could see it all so vividly: your gorgeous, tempting pussy, the soft contours of your breasts that fit his hands as though crafted just for him and his carnal lust, your lips swollen from his endless kisses, and your eyes glazed, pupils blown wide with pleasure.

Every detail of you was etched into his mind—an addicting vision he couldn't escape. You were the star of every lustful scene that played out in his imagination, the embodiment of his most desperate fantasies.

He tried once more to focus, though his body trembled atop the sheets with sheer need. He closed his eyes and fantasised about your pussy all reddened and swollen for him, glistening in your rich juices and so deliciously wet that you’d be dampening the sheets beneath you.

Astarion could almost feel the anxious pulse of your clit, just begging for his mouth and tongue. The thought of his lips grazing that sensitive bundle, tormenting it to the point of agony, filled his mind, and he could hardly help but drool. He could practically taste you, the luscious, toxicant sweetness of your arousal filling him as he’d lavish every inch of your cunt with his mouth, sucking and licking with ravenous need until you were drenched.

He let out a low, frustrated growl, swirling his closed fist just around his incarnate tip in a futile attempt to force his climax, but his mind betrayed him, flooding with vivid images of your sweaty body and the insatiable pussy he yearned so badly. However, he was pretty clear: nothing could replace you. Not his hand, not the fantasies that had become a poor substitute, nothing could come close to the reality he wanted.

In his mind, he saw you beneath him, legs spread-eagled, your lips calling his name in whispered moans that grew louder with each thrust. He could nearly feel your breath against his ear, filling him with the sweet sound of your whimpers, each one more desperate than the last. His hand felt pitifully inadequate compared to being buried deep inside you, his body pressed down against yours as he consumed every last piece of you.

In the quiet shadows of your bedroom, he trembled with the wrenching pain, torn between hunger and exasperation. His voice whispered out, barely audible, “My love… I need you.”

Astarion’s breathing came in ragged gasps as he chased a release that refused to reach him. Tightening his hand to increase his movement speed, he became almost frantic, as though sheer desperation could fill the emptiness of not having you. His head tipped back, eyes squeezing shut as he let out a strangled moan against your panties, your lovely name slipping from his lips like a mantra.

He was completely lost, so absorbed that he didn't even hear the soft creak of the door or the faint shuffle of your footsteps.

You’d woken in the night, drowsily reaching for him only to find the other side of the bed empty, letting your hand land on cool sheets instead of his skin. Concerned and bleary-eyed, you went looking for him, thinking that perhaps a nightmare had drawn him away.

But nothing could have prepared you for the sight before you.

In the dim light spilling from cracked curtains of a window, his silhouette trembled, his hips bucking desperately into his hand as if he couldn’t stand another second of the ache inside him. His cheeks were flushed with a feverish red, and his lips parted to release soft, breathless whimpers. His grip on himself was almost punishing, fingers digging into his flesh as he stroked with an almost frenzied pace, trying to force himself to the relief he sought but clearly struggling.

You inched closer, entranced by the sight of his body arching and tensing, brow knit in frustration as he let out quiet, ragged curses under his breath. His voice, thick with desperation, cracked as he whispered your name as if the mere thought of you was both a balm and a torment. He was so lost, so utterly engrossed in his aching need, that he didn’t notice your presence. He didn’t felt your eyes or the way your own heart raced at the sight of him.

Unable to resist, you let out a quiet voice calling his name while opening the door, just loud enough to break through his veil.

He snapped open his eyes, the red irises gleaming in the darkness as he finally became aware he wasn’t alone. Astarion froze, lips parting in shock as his gaze met yours, the flush in his cheeks deepening as he felt instantly embarrassed with your underwear under his nose. The rich fabric of his Victorian shirt clung to his chest, slightly askew from his restless movements.

“I was… I wasn’t expecting you…” He managed to speak with a low, rough voice, as if pulled straight from the depths of his body. He relaxed slightly in an attempt to regain his composure, though his cock gave a subtle, instinctual thump against his stomach as he failed to suppress his arousal. Then he swallowed hard, the exposed skin at his throat glistening in the dim light for his sweat, his expression a blur of yearning and bashfulness.

You took another step closer to your old bed. The intensity of his state made your breath quicken as you took in every detail of his parted lips, the flush trailing to his ears, the slight tremor in his fingers as he tried to maintain them steady...

“Couldn’t sleep, Astarion?” You asked with both curiosity and... somewhat understanding.

Astarion let out a sigh while a soft smile tugged at his lips. “It seems I have… trouble finding satisfaction without you, my dear.” He lowered the fabric of your underwear from his face to leave it on the nightstand, his eyes never leaving yours, although his vulnerable yet unabashedly captivated emotions.

“Come here…” He murmured in a velvet purr as he reached out, inviting you. His eyes gleamed with want, and, at that moment, he felt himself wholly yours to possess and do whatever you wanted, but you didn't know just yet.

His delicate fabric slightly loosened at the collar and sleeves, a bit untied, his hair tousled... This image of him awakened something inside you, drawing you deeper into his charming and cuddly spell.

You reached for his hand, marvelling at how adorable he looked at this moment. With a serene smile, you settled beside him on the bed, the mattress dipping under your weight as you sat close enough to feel his body almost touching yours.

Astarion let out a long, shaky breath, his body finally relaxing as he leaned into you, his forehead coming to rest on your shoulder. He was warm, and you could feel the faint tremor in his body as if something had unravelled his entire being.

Then he let out a low, breathless giggle; the sound tinged with relief and a hint of humour. “You’re toying with me…” He murmured softly against your skin before placing a kiss on it with a touch of playful reproach. “Leaving me here, all night... suffering by myself.” His words were light, but you could feel the weight behind them, the hollowness he rarely showed.

As his head rested heavily against your shoulder, Astarion’s fingers tangled in your hair, gently gripping it as if securing himself to you. His touch was both eager and tender as he instinctively snuggled closer to encircle your waist, seeking solace in your embrace. It was a stark contrast to that usually composed and confident vampire you knew, making him appear almost childlike as if he were looking for comfort after a nightmare.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer against you. The way he nestled into you made your soul melt in affection, but a flicker of concern crept into your mind as you wondered what had haunted him in the quiet solitude of the night. His sigh was soft, barely audible, and his grip on your hair tightened, almost as if he feared losing you in this vulnerable moment.

“What’s wrong, Astarion?” You asked softly while caressing his arm gently. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

He furrowed his brow slightly, the weakness in his demeanour becoming more pronounced. “I suppose… I thought I could manage. But it seems I could not.” His voice was low, laced with an honesty that took you even by surprise.

Before continuing, he took a deep breath to steel himself. “There’s something I haven��t told you... something I’ve been trying to suppress.” As he spoke, his eyes peered at your face, a mixture of uncertainty and yearning reflected in their blackness. The playful humour that often danced in his gaze was gone, replaced by a rawness that tugged at your heartstrings.

You searched his eyes to urge him to continue while your thoughts already were wondering what it could be. “What is it?”

Astarion swallowed hard, his brow furrowing as he wrestled with his emotions. “I... I’m in my heat...” He finally confessed. “After everything that happened with Cazador, I thought I could control it and push it away. But it’s relentless. This... need; it’s too much, and I’ve been fighting it alone for so long.”

You instinctively pulled him closer, the warmth of your body against his providing a gentle anchor in the storm of his turmoil. Feeling a surge of empathy, you cupped his cheek, your thumb brushing softly over his cheek, hoping to erase any sense of his silly shame. “Astarion... You are not alone any more. I’m here... with you.”

He leaned into your touch, a faint shudder passing through him as he let out a soft sigh, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly for your words. “I didn’t want to burden you with this, darling…”

“You could never be a burden to me, silly.” You reassured him.

A liberating glint passed through his eyes before they narrowed slightly, his expression gentling as he leaned his cheek into the warmth of your hand. “So tell me, my darling... what are you going to do with me now?” He asked sweetly, smiling with some curiosity, as though he were either coaxing you forward... or daring you to finish what he’d started.

You held his gaze for a few seconds longer before letting your eyes drop to his hard, aching length.

You slowly pull out of his embrace to rise from the bed, then with unhurried motions, you slip your fingers beneath the waistband of your pyjama trousers and your panties, sliding them down your legs. The fabric fell to the floor, quickly joined by your bra, leaving you bare before him. The chilly winter air grazed your skin, causing a shiver to dance along your back and harden your nipples instantly.

“I’m going to take care of you…” You saw how his eyes roamed over every inch of you with his usual intense, hungry gaze, caressing your body as though it were a precious treasure he could finally hold.

Astarion’s gaze returned to yours with a warm, wide smile, brimming with adoration and desire. “You’re…breathtaking…” He murmured, almost as though speaking the words out loud might shatter the moment.

Your heart swelled at the sight of him, so open, so vulnerable, and so utterly yours. You settled back onto the bed beside him, leaning close as you placed a soft, reassuring kiss against his cheek. Letting your hand drift from his thigh to his lap to wrap your fingers around his cock, feeling the hardness of it, respond immediately to your gentle touch by throbbing excitedly. You began to slowly stroke him, keeping a slow yet steady rhythm.

He moaned softly, his head fell back, and his eyes closed while a subtle shudder ran through him. His fingers instinctively clung to your arm; the look of pure need etched from his face only spurred you on. Your strokes grow firmer as each pass of your hand drew a new, delicious sound from his delicate lips. During that, you leaned closer to let your warm breath graze his neck before you started to spread soft kisses along it.

His usual composure had crumbled, giving way to a raw, unrestrained need—a desperation born of decades of unsatisfied feelings and the maddening ache of his heat. He tried so hard to find satisfaction, but nothing had ever been enough since he met you. Only you could soothe this torment and bring him the relief he required.

You pulled back slightly from his neck, meeting his eyes as you paused your attentions to gently nudge him onto the bed. He didn’t resist at all, allowing you to do whatever you wanted with him and looking at you with sparkling impatience across his darkened pupils.

You ran your hands along his thighs one more time, fingertips tracing over every taut line and curve, savouring the feel of his skin. As you settled on the mattress to straddle his hips, you leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his stomach, your lips grazing over the fabric stretched over his torso. Your hands travelled up, resting on his chest, where you could feel his muscles tense beneath his clothing. With a teasing smile, you left a gentle trail of kisses along his uncovered chest, up to his collarbone, and finally brushing your lips along his jaw.

His hands locked to your thighs, his breaths warm as he relaxed in your presence. He allowed himself to be vulnerable before you, and it was unlike anything you had seen in him before. He looked as though he might beg at any moment, desperate and undone. His fingers trembled slightly as he held you tighter, sliding his hands up to grip your hips.

“Is this what you want?” You asked, although you already knew the answer well, just to savour this moment, having him so needy for you.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, his answer slipping out almost without thought. “Yes.” His voice was harsh, barely holding together as he looked up at you in admiration, like he could hardly believe he was so close to the release that he’d been yearning for.

Astarion moved his hands from your hips to your waist, guiding you down as he suppressed a desperate groan, his head tipping back into your pillow, still infused with your intoxicating scent. “My darling…” He purred, calling out to you. “I need you, please…” The words spilt from him with urgency, though his seductive edge persevered. His hands gripped your hips again, uncertain where to grab; only knowing he wanted every part of you. “Pretty please…”

The transformation in him was almost endearing, watching his pride melt in the face of his heat. You couldn’t help but smile, your cheeks warming as he let slip those velvety, magical words.

Reaching down, you let your fingers brush over the base of his cock, feeling the rigid heat of his arousal. You spit into your palm and took his hardened cock to slick him out, stroking him slowly up and down. You weren’t entirely wet yet, and you wanted this moment to be as perfect as possible for him.

At the same time, your other hand slipped lower, cradling his sac and massaging softly in rhythm with each stroke. His sighs came faster, a soft groan escaping him as your fingers trailed along his sensitive skin.

You moved your focus to his swollen, pulsing glans now, slick with precum that had trickled down his length. You continued stroking with both hands now, smoothing the warm fluid mixed with your saliva to make sure he was well lubricated. Finally, positioning yourself, you let the head of his cock rub your clit and your entrance.

Although you were keenly aware of his need and, in a way, his impatience to bury himself inside you, you couldn’t deny that you wanted to draw out this special moment as long as possible.

Finally, you let the head of his cock kiss your entrance, beginning to lower your hips as you felt the delicious stretch of your slit as it let him through and of your interior accommodating him. You felt yourself tighten instinctively around his thick length, your walls gripping him as he slid deeper within.

You closed your eyes, savouring the sensation until you heard him release a strangled moan, his fingers digging into the skin of your hips as if holding you could somehow ease his ache. Reopening your eyes, you saw his flushed cheeks and closed eyelids, and you felt captured by his vulnerability. Your heart pounded against your chest at seeing him so... exposed to you.

Once he was fully seated within you until his tip was pushing against your cervix, you began to rise and fall slowly. Rolling your hips slightly forward and back, you felt the rigidity in his cock and every vein deliciously caressing your walls. His grip tightened as he released sweet, breathy sighs with each massage you gave his cock with your cavity, his eyes fixed on you, utterly enraptured as he felt himself dissolve beneath you.

“Just you…” His voice trembled with a tone you haven't heard from him. “I’ve needed this... needed you... for so long. I tried to resist... gods, I tried... but nothing, nothing else could…” His words trailed off in an involuntary moan as his pelvis lifted instinctively to feel every inch of your insides squeeze his painfully swollen cock.

A satisfied moan escaped your lips as you watched himself giving to pleasure, his expression lost in bliss. Spurred by his urge, you began to move with more eagerness, riding him harder and faster, your pelvis colliding with his in a wild rhythm. Every thrust sent jolts of pleasure through you both as your hips moved in perfect sync.

Bracing your hands on his chest, you leaned down to capture his lips, and he responded with a yearning whimper, returning the kiss with impatience. “I’ve never seen you like this, Astarion.” You murmured against his lips, admiring the flush across his cheeks. “It’s… adorable.”

He let out a soft, breathless laugh, though his voice was thick with longing. “I’m yours, my love…” He confessed in a low tone, holding your gaze with an unusual intensity, his eyes shining. “With you… I can’t help but lose myself…”

His hands slid up to grip your waist, attempting to guide at least your intensity and reclaim a hint of control, but you took his hands in yours. Sliding them over your torso to your breasts, letting him grab them and feel the softness of them. "Love, let me...” He raised his hips once more to penetrate you deeper. His need to bury himself inside you almost agonisingly, each motion making his tip hit your sensitive G-spot and coax gasps from your lips as he struck it with raw precision, just as your cervix.

You threw your head back, a strangled whimper escaping as the blend of pleasure and faint pain sent shocks through your womb.

“Astarion…” You called after recovering your breath just enough to let your lips brush his ear. One hand tangled into his silky hair while the other traced his chest, your fingers skimming over the fabric of his shirt. “Let me… I want to make you feel good, my love…” You whispered, letting your breath ghost over the sensitive skin of his neck, feeling him shiver beneath you because of how responsive he was to your closeness.

Astarion’s throat caught at the sensation of your warm lips on his neck for your sudden smooch, his fingers tightening around your breasts. A sly smile played on his lips, though his usual sharp wit softened because of his heat.

“Oh, my darling…” He rasped with his tone both a plea and a command as his fingers slid down to your hips, anchoring you closer. “You already do make me feel good... so exquisitely good.” His lips found the spot behind your ear to press a kiss against it. Descending to the curve of your jaw, and then lower, tracing a path full of delicate, heated kisses down to your neck.

Then he pulled you, rolling you onto the mattress in a sudden but gentle motion. His body hovered over yours as he took a moment to drink in the sight of you beneath him. “But I think it’s time I return the favour.” His voice dipped into a low growl, his thumb smoothing against your cheek as he cradled it. “Let’s see just how well I can repay you, love...” He whispered before diving to your lips with a ferocity that left no doubt of his intentions.

Every single touch and lingering kiss was a deliberate act of his devotion, focusing entirely on bringing you to the same heights of pleasure he so desperately craved.

Your lips crashed against his with a passion that mirrored his, a burning hunger in every kiss. You tangled your fingers into his silken, white hair to hold him close, refusing to let an inch of space between you. Your other hand gripped the fabric of his shirt in his waist, tugging it firmly, wanting nothing more than to feel his skin against yours.

Before drawing you into his embrace, he positioned his cock at your entrance to enter back inside you, joining his hips firmly against yours with a delicious thrust that made your clit kiss his bare pelvis. A guttural groan escaped his mouth as he responded eagerly to your touch, his hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. Each of his movements quickened, his hips surging forward with growing intensity, each thrust driving you both toward a shared frenzy. Impulsively, he broke the kiss to trail his lips along your neck, leaving a searing path of devouring kisses and grazing your skin with his fangs, sending a subtle shiver through you.

“Gods, you're... intoxicating.” He whimpered roughly between kisses. His hands slid to your hips, gripping you rigidly to guide your body in time with his as he fucked you. His lips stayed on your neck, savouring every moan you gave him, lost in the sensation of your bodies moving together with an urgency that none of you could contain.

Astarion’s hand grabbed firmly at your nape, his fingers threading through your hair as he held your head in place against his shoulder. Positioned snugly between your legs, his thighs lifted yours, angling you so that every inch of his cock entered your pussy, leaving no space unfilled.

He bobbed his hips forward with a ferocious, exhausting pace that drove him impossibly deeper into your cunt, his mouth returning in trailing hot kisses all over your skin. His grip on your nape tightened with each surge of his pelvis against yours, anchoring himself in the intensity of it, feeling how your walls massaged and vibrated around his cock. His other hand gripped your waist, drawing you closer to him as if he wanted to merge your bodies completely.

The rhythm had become urgent and desperate, his mouth leaving feverish kisses along your neck and shoulder as his pace grew erratic, driven by the overwhelming, raw desire consuming him. His hand tightened around your waist, pulling you more tightly as his thrusts grew harsher.

The fire in your body was exactly as his, a blazing need that surged with every stroke. Your hand slipped down to your swollen clit, fingers stroking it in synchrony with his pleasurable thrusts. Your actions only seemed to drive him further; a primal growl escaped his lips as his hips snapped forward with a force that stole your respiration.

“Look at you... so eager for more...” Astarion purred, his tone rasping and dripping with lust. His crimson eyes roamed down your body, pausing at the place where your fingers moved against yourself. He observed, entranced, how your fingers stroked your entire clitoris, slick and needy while meeting each of his thrusts. The sight seemed to inflame him, his pupils dilating as he devoured the scene before him. A wicked grin curled on his lips. “You’re utterly delicious... I can hardly resist the urge to devour you whole.”

His voice was thick with desire, and how his crimson eyes darkened further made your heart race. You could see the pure hunger burning within him, igniting an answering fire deep in your lower belly. As you continued to stimulate your clit, the tension grew unbearable, stretched so taut that one more push, one more touch, was all it would take to send you both over the edge.

He dipped his head, his breath hot against your skin. “I need to hear every delicious sound you make, every gasp and moan.” He murmured, the rasp in his voice thickening with each thrust.

As if in response, you moaned louder, the heat pooling between your legs intensifying as you clung to him. The urgency in his movements grew, his thrusts becoming a frantic tempo, pounding into you with a force that sent waves of ecstasy crashing inside your entire pussy. You could feel him nearing his peak, the way his cock hardened impossibly harder inside you, leaving copious amounts of precum between your walls. The quickening pace of his breath and the tightening grip on your hips only made it more evident.

“Please...” You pleaded in a whisper, not fully sure of what you were pleading.

Astarion surged forward, claiming you with a fervour that stole the breath from your lungs. Every thrust felt overwhelming, as though he were trying to mark you as his own, to leave a lasting imprint on your body and soul. Your bodies moved in perfect harmony, a primal dance that sent shockwaves through you both, pushing you closer to the precipice of bliss.

“My love…” He purred, his voice a seductive growl that resonated deep within your pussy. “I want to feel you cum around me...”

As the words sunk in, you felt your walls tighten further around his cock. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, and the delicious pressure built higher and higher, threatening to spill over.

“Together…” You gasped, feeling the edge draw nearer. “I—” His lips crashed against yours in a fierce kiss, drowning out your words as his tongue rapidly tangled with yours. The world around you faded, leaving only the two of you entwined in this frenzied embrace. And then, as if replying to your unspoken plea, the dam broke.

Your climax hit you like a storm, pulsing through your core and leaving you spent as your arms tightened around him and your hips moved to fuck his cock as well. Astarion let out a shuddering moan that broke the kiss, his grip almost bruising you as he reached his own release, his body trembling and spasming as yours with the intensity of it. You felt his warm cum exploding inside you, each release sending a delicious sensation up your womb and cervix, prolonging the endless pleasure crashing through you. His hands held you against him as you both rode out ecstasy, lost in the shared, heady sensation of being completely intertwined as he kept buried inside you.

You clung to him, surrendering to the exquisite moment, feeling utterly consumed by the heat and the connection that bound you together. The aftermath left you gasping for air with your heart racing, both of you lost in the afterglow of passion.

As the lingering waves of your climax subsided after a while in each other's arms, you gazed at Astarion, a playful smile tugging at your lips. His tousled hair fell charmingly over his forehead, and a layer of sweat glistened on his skin, making him look beautiful and irresistibly enchanting.

“You know…” You started softly with a glimmer in your eyes, “You look absolutely adorable like this, all consumed by your heat.” Your heart fluttered as you watched his brows knit together in playful disbelief.

“Adorable?” One of his eyebrows went up. “I assure you, my dear, that’s the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Oh, come on!” You replied, laughter bubbling up like the sweetest melody for his ears. “Just look at you! You’ve never looked more charming—practically irresistible!”

He warmly chuckled, a rich sound that filled the air with joy. “Irresistible? My dear, I was merely indulging in what is quite natural for me. Thank you.”

You feigned a dramatic gasp, placing a hand over your heart in mock shock. “Darling! Just admit it! What an honour it is to see you in such a cute light! Who knew a fierce vampire could also be a cuddly little beast?”

Astarion rolled his eyes, but the smile that tugged at his lips was an undeniable admission of his enjoyment. “Cuddly? Now you’re pushing it, sweetie.”

“Maybe.” You said, leaning closer to him as your eyes sparkled while you batted your eyelashes playfully. “But honestly, there was something so sweet about you right now. You were so lost in the moment, like watching a passionate artist at work.”

He leaned back slightly, crossing his arms with an exaggerated huff, his attempt to maintain composure failing delightfully. “I suppose I must allow you this little delusion, but do not mistake my passion for cuteness.”

“Whatever you say, my fierce little vampire.” You joked, inching even closer. “But I stand by my word. You’re absolutely adorable.”

With a soft, fluttering laugh, you reached up to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. The moment felt electric, charged with love and affection. Astarion’s lips curled against yours before reciprocating your kiss, and for a fleeting second, the heat of passion intertwined with the sweetness of the moment, turning the surrounding air into something truly magical.

As you pulled back, you found him looking at you, a soft smile gracing his features that melted your heart. “You’re insufferable, you know that?” He murmured in a playful voice mixed with exasperation and fondness.

“Only for you.” You replied, a mischievous grin spreading across your face. “And I think you love it. A reason more to the list for being with me!”

“Don’t say it too loud.” He replied, the playful glint in his eyes betraying his bravado.

You laughed, his presence enveloping you as you revelled in the playful banter, your hearts intertwining in the sweetest ways. At that moment, every worry faded, leaving only the bliss of shared affection, laughter, and the delightful intimacy of you two.

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azrielsrealmate · 3 months ago

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who cares about you?

azriel x reader

summary: azriel comes home after a long mission, injured and in search for the comfort of his mate arms.

warnings: nudity(? injuries

word count: 2.5k

english isnt my fist language ladies🥶 soo forgive any possible mistake. To this point I don’t know if I should do maybe a masterlist? 👀

Your heart skips a beat in anticipation, the weariness of the night instantly forgotten as you cross the room to open the door. But the moment you do, that spark of enthusiasm is extinguished, replaced by a deep concern that stabs into you like a dagger, twisting and squeezing your heart.

Azriel stands there, his dark figure outlined against the dimness of the hallway, but it’s his condition that makes the air catch in your lungs. His shadows are agitated, swirling around him with a restlessness that reflects the turmoil within him—they don’t come to greet you as they usually do, they don’t disappear. The blood, mostly dried but still visible, runs from a wound on his brow, trailing down his face to his chin. The smell of iron, mixed with his own scent, is unmistakable. Anxiety has scarred, large hands, and it squeezes your stomach.

“Azriel...” you whisper, the anguish clear in your voice.

But the instant his honeyed eyes meet yours, his expression shifts. The sharp edges soften so as not to cut you, the intensity of his gaze mitigated by something far more tender. With a gentleness that contrasts with his appearance, he brings his hand to your cheek and cups it, his thumb tracing a soft path along your skin.

You lean into his touch, and your eyes flutter closed for just a fraction of a second, your own hand landing on his, as if you could keep that gentle touch there forever. The warmth of his hand is a balm, but not enough to quell the worry growing inside you.

Azriel steps forward, and you remain where you are, and you don’t know how you survived two weeks without seeing him, when the closeness you now share feels like oxygen, you’d suffocate if he stepped away.

You see the conflict in his gaze as you tilt your head back to look at him, the self-loathing he has for worrying you this way. Then, without warning, he dips his head and presses a kiss to your forehead as he opens his side of your bond, which had been closed for those two weeks. The touch of his lips is so soft that you barely feel it, but the intent is clear.

He was fine. He was here. And he doesn’t push you away, he doesn’t shut you out.

But you can’t bear to see him like this, broken, hurt. Ignoring the knot forming in your throat, you throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a desperate hug. His reaction is immediate: a gasp of pain escapes his lips.

You pull away instantly, your brow furrowing into a grimace of anguish. “I’m sorry,” you say, your voice breaking, your hands trembling as you lower them to your sides. But he doesn’t let you pull away any more than necessary, his hand still on your cheek, his gaze fixed on yours with an intensity that makes you tremble.

He sinks onto the edge of the bed, his body clearly exhausted, and you, without wasting a second, hurry to fetch a bucket of hot water and a cloth. The urgency to care for him, to heal each of his wounds, drives you beyond your own fatigue.

When you return to his side, cloth in hand, you prepare to clean the blood from his face, but Azriel, with that dexterity and strength that never seems to leave him, surprises you. Before you can react, he pulls you onto his lap, your thighs pressed against his hips.

“Azriel,” you protest softly, but there’s no real force in your words. Not when his gaze is so close, when his hands keep you in the only place where both of you can breathe easily.

“Shh,” he murmurs, his breath brushing your lips. “Let me hold you... just for a moment.”

And even though you know you should be focused on tending to his wounds, on making sure he’s not more hurt than he appears, you surrender to the warmth of his body for a second.

The warmth of Azriel’s body, wrapped around yours, feels like you’re finally fitting a missing piece into a puzzle. His hands grip your hips as if he fears you might pull away from him at any moment, and the thought seems ridiculous in your mind, all you want is to let him hold you. But the wound on his brow, the dried blood staining his face, pulls you back to reality.

You’re torn between staying like this, lost in the safety of his embrace, and the urgency to tend to his wounds. The weight of the worry is so intense you can barely stand it. You slide a hand along his cheek, brushing aside a loose strand of his dark hair, and refocus on the task at hand.

“Let me clean this,” you whisper, lifting the warm, damp cloth to his face.

Azriel watches you, his dark eyes shining with a mix of emotions you can’t quite decipher. But he doesn’t resist; he simply stays still as you gently clean the blood from his brow, revealing the small but deep wound beneath. Each movement is slow, careful, as if you fear any additional pressure could cause him more pain. Though even if you did, he wouldn’t react.

He gently massages your hips, his hands appreciating the curve, and his eyes drop to your neck, lingering there, clean skin with no marks, the irrefutable proof that he’s been away for a while, because you always bore some hidden hickey or bite marks on your neck. Azriel was possessive, and he didn’t hide it. You could almost swear that he’s holding himself back from burying his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder.

It’s in that moment, as you slide the cloth along his skin with the utmost delicacy, that you feel a tug in your left shoulder. It’s barely noticeable at first, so you ignore it, but as you continue, the pain becomes sharper, a twinge that makes you catch your breath. You try to ignore it again, focusing on Azriel, but he notices. Of course, he notices.

His brow furrows, and the concern deepens in his features. His grip on your hips tightens, pulling you closer to his body. Just slightly. “What’s wrong with your arm?” His voice is low, but there’s no hiding the insistence in it.

“It’s nothing important,” you try to say, attempting to sound convincing as you avert your gaze, turning your attention back to his wound. But Azriel isn’t someone who accepts evasions, and before you can continue, his hand catches yours, stopping you in your tracks.

“Don’t lie to me.”

You sigh, knowing you can’t hide the truth from him. “Training was a bit tougher today,” you confess, trying to sound nonchalant, but the worry in his face forces you to go on. “Gwyn threw a bad punch, and… well, my shoulder has been hurting since then.”

The shadow of a tense muscle appears in his jaw, and you can see him struggling to stay calm. His eyes darken with a mix of guilt and anger, not toward you, but toward the situation. His hand slides from your hip to your left shoulder, with a touch so gentle it almost breaks you completely. It had taken you a long time to accept his gentle touches without bursting into tears.

“You should have told me earlier,” he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper as his fingers caress the sore area. “You could have hurt yourself more.”

You almost let out a sarcastic comment. When it’s him training you, you end up even more sore.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” you choose to respond, your voice just as low, but he shakes his head before you can finish.

“I worry more if you don’t tell me.”

You fall silent, letting his words sink in, feeling the truth in them. But as the weight of his concern and the warmth of his touch envelop you, a spark of resistance ignites within you, a reminder that you’re not someone who simply stands by, even when it comes to him.

“Azriel…” you begin, but he interrupts you, his voice low but determined.

“Let me handle this,” he says, his gaze fixed on yours, and you can see the exhaustion behind his firmness, the lines of fatigue etched into his face. Yet, something in his tone, in the way he asks you to lean on him, provokes an unexpected reaction in you. It’s not just concern; it’s the guilt that seems to consume him, the need to do something, anything, to feel less powerless. It frustrates you, it’s not his duty to take care of you, especially not when you’re the one trying to take care of him.

“What if I don’t want to?” You respond softly, the challenge subtle but clear in your voice. Azriel blinks, the only sign of surprise he allows to show, but he doesn’t release his grip on your hips.

“Why should you carry everything? Why is it always you who has to protect me, who has to take care of everyone?” you continue, your words soft but laden with a weight you know he understands. He doesn’t just take care of you, he takes care of his entire family. And not just by protecting his Court—he’s always there for anyone who needs him. A solid rock you can lean on. “You worry so much about me, about everyone, but who worries about you, Azriel? Who takes care of you?”

The silence that follows is dense, heavy with unspoken emotions. Azriel lowers his gaze for a moment, his shadows fluttering restlessly around the two of you, around him, appearing from where they had hidden, only to disappear again. And you know, after long hours of studying their patterns, that his shadows are around him when they feel the need to protect him; they hide when he’s completely and utterly safe. When he lifts his head again, there’s something different in his eyes, something vulnerable that he rarely lets others see.

“I don’t know how,” he admits, turning his gaze away, his voice so low you almost don’t hear it.

It hurts to hear him say that, but it also fills you with a new determination, a need to show him that he’s not alone. Gently, you place your hand over his, the one still resting on your hip, and squeeze it firmly.

“Then we’ll learn together,” you say, and there’s a promise in those words, a promise that you won’t let him face this burden alone. “You don’t have to do everything yourself, Azriel. You don’t have to be the shield and the sword all the time. Sometimes… sometimes it’s enough just to be you.”

The silence returns, but this time it’s different. It’s a silence filled with understanding, with a tacit agreement that both of you have reached. Azriel nods slightly, accepting the truth you’ve laid before him, though it’s still hard for him to let go of that control he values so much.

With a sigh, he leans forward, his forehead touching yours, and in that contact, you feel the tension in his body ease just a little. “I need you,” he murmurs, the confession a barely audible whisper between you, but it hits you with the force of a gale. “I need you more than I can bear sometimes.”

The knot in your chest tightens, but instead of speaking, you decide to show him that you understand. Sliding your hands up to his neck, you bring his lips to yours in a soft kiss, but one loaded with all the emotions you don’t need to verbalize. Azriel responds with restrained urgency, as if that kiss were an anchor in the middle of a storm threatening to sweep him away.

When you finally pull apart, you stay there, looking at him, seeing the internal battle playing out in his eyes. Without saying another word, you move, sliding off his lap and pulling his hand to get him to stand with you. Although his brow furrows in confusion, he doesn’t resist.

You lead him to the bathroom, to the tub where the water is still warm. Without releasing his hand, you start undressing him, your fingers deftly undoing his clothes while his eyes remain fixed on you, a mix of surprise and something more shining in them. It’s not a gesture of desire, not now, but an act of care. Of showing him that he can let go, that it’s okay to trust you to be the one to take care of him for once.

Azriel doesn’t say anything, but he lets you proceed, his breathing uneven as you guide him into the tub, helping him into the water. Only then do you join him, carefully getting into the tub, sitting behind him, and pulling him toward you, his back against your chest, being mindful of his wings.

For a moment, both of you remain silent, the water enveloping you in a warm embrace, your hands gently caressing his arms as you feel his body finally begin to relax against yours. And then, in the safe haven you’ve created for him without even realizing it, Azriel lets all his barriers fall, resting his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes as a deep, almost relieved sigh escapes his lips.

“I’ve got you,” you murmur softly. “I’ve got you.”

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel x reader fluff #azriel x female!reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x yn

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carpethedamndiemdejavu · 3 months ago

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#flow #blue #acceptance #path #growth #spiral #eventually everything connects #shadow work #compassion #self love #energy #surrender

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expensiveity · 9 months ago

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choosing to love God + instilling his values into your life isn’t some sort of trend you can just pick up. its a lifetime commitment. its surrending your old self and bad habits and accepting a new life pleasing to God. by allowing the holy spirit to guide you on the right path to your destiny. despite your circumstances and what life brings. despite what the world says and what you see. you choose God.

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infinitelystrangemachinex · 12 days ago

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Jayce and the fallacy of the butterfly effect in Arcane's narrative

If Jayce's symbol is the butterfly, then my theory is that we're going into a full "butterfly effect" narrative in Act 2. Either we'll watch it happen, or we'll only see Jayce come out the other side of it changed by the experience, knowing - or more importantly, THINKING he knows - what to do to change the future. Literally, to "defend tomorrow."

tl;dr: Jayce will encounter the butterfly effect in season 2. Viktor and Mel both foreshadowed this in season 1. I think Jayce will fixate on Viktor and will believe that stopping or changing Viktor either in the past or the present - most likely the present - will mean he can save the future. I believe this will lead to an even worse tragedy and may have the same effect as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ekko's approach to changing the future by sticking closer to the present - considering only tiny increments of time to alter more immediate future outcomes - will be the superior approach. I also think that Jayce attempting to change the future will create the conditions that push Viktor to become the Machine Herald.

One of the most common reactions even the casual viewer had to Arcane season 1 was this: "If [character] had just done this one small thing a little differently, [tragic event] wouldn't have happened!"

Arcane has been called a Greek tragedy for the main reason that because of how well built up the characters' personalities and reasonings are, there's no other way season 1 could have gone. There was no stopping the multiple tragedies that occurred, because with one event leading to another, the chain of seemingly inevitable events goes too far back to identify what one singular event caused everything, what one character made what one decision to put our characters on the terrible paths they walked.

Arcane is about to investigate this idea in its own narrative, and I think that Jayce will be the character to stumble into the flawed idea that you can change one event, or stop one character, and change the future for the better. This is because Jayce struggles with a few very interesting character flaws, one of them being that he believes himself to be the main character, and it is therefore his responsibility to intervene, be a hero, and fix things.

Viktor and Mel both foreshadow Jayce's future encounter with the butterfly effect.

Recall that Viktor said: "There is always a choice."

Jayce sees choices in black and white, believes that he has no other options but to go along with what he's persuaded and pushed into, and acts too boldly with too much power multiple times.

Recall that Mel said: "We can't change what fate has in store for us, but we don't have to face it alone."

Jayce tries to solve big problems on his own, and though he delegates to Enforcers and the like, Jayce relies on his reasoning and his alone to make important decisions if he doesn't simply become persuaded - usually through strong emotions like fear - by other characters. In addition, since Mel is specifically talking about Viktor's plight here, it's worth mentioning that while Jayce did say that he would help Viktor in acts 2 and 3 of season 1, Jayce does wind up leaving Viktor to face his fate alone. When Jayce tries to change that fate in s2 ep1, ep2 shows that only tragedy can come of this as well.

Viktor and Mel's statements here are not contradictory. Viktor makes the point that you can always make a choice. In context, he's literally referring to the classic "secret third option," because given a choice between aggression and passivity, war and surrender, Viktor chooses to defuse the bomb instead. Mel, interestingly, seems to believe that destiny is fixed in a broad sense, and she operates as a politician and diplomat and investor who navigates that line of destiny in the most optimal way possible. In reality, in context, she is referring to the fact that Viktor can't change the way he was born and so he has no way to change his fate and therefore must face it, which is true - she's only missing the information that Viktor actually does have the means to change his illness and his body. Her wisdom still applies however, because he'll have to accept the hand that fate deals him after he makes that choice. Will he face it alone, or not?

There is always a choice, there's even secret third options, because having a fate doesn't mean that you are doomed to make only one possible series of choices. What it does mean is that each choice comes with a hand that fate deals you. It is impossible to know what all of these branching choices and consequences are in advance, and it is just as impossible in hindsight - the branches are too complex and the end outcomes are all equally meaningful, just different. If Arcane season 2 is to be a tragedy, it may show us that each possible outcome is still tragic if you fall for the fallacy of the butterfly effect.

Jayce is counseled by some of the wisest, cleverest characters with the deepest life experiences in Arcane, but he hardly ever takes that counsel to heart. If he does, he still acts on that counsel in flawed ways that have unintended consequences. This will come to a head in season 2.

Viktor and Jayce both have a butterfly following them around in season 1. The butterfly effect refers to one small seemingly insignificant event changing the course of history, and changing that event therefore changes history. Viktor bled over the railing of a Hexgate in season 1:

And Heimerdinger sees what we can only assume is Viktor's blood contaminating (?) the Hexgate in s2 ep3:

This might be the seemingly unimportant "inciting incident" that Jayce (and Heimerdinger and Ekko) settle on as something that should be avoided or erased by changing the past (if they time-travel with Ekko, for example).

I doubt that, if this is what this crew chooses to fixate on, it will be the only event that is considered as something to change. But let's take this and run with it for the sake of discussion.

As silly as it sounds, how do you stop Viktor from allowing his blood to come into contact with the arcane? Stop Viktor's involvement with the Academy entirely? Don't invent Hextech at all? But what if someone else invents Hextech besides Jayce? What if future tragedy befalls Piltover because it didn't invent Hextech?

The possibilities and what-ifs could branch on forever. But because Jayce is who he is, and because his tragedy with Viktor is still raw and recent and frightening, I think Jayce's butterfly effect experience will have to do with Viktor.

My personal prediction is that the timeskip between s2 ep3 and ep4 will be Jayce experiencing a timeline where Viktor, taken over by the Hexcore, brings about an apocalyptic event similar to what Heimerdinger experienced in his past. Either Jayce and co. can't go into the past to change the present, or Heimerdinger and/or Ekko advise strongly against it to avoid a paradox. This will lead to them re-entering the canon Arcane timeline before this apocalypse, but still after the timeskip. Jayce, believing that destroying Viktor and his cult will save the future, and believing that resurrecting Viktor was Jayce's mistake to fix, attacks him. But the consequences don't unfold the way he hopes, because trying to change fate once the cards have already been dealt has led to tragedy before.

The butterfly is a symbol of something other than just the butterfly effect - change, evolution, and rebirth. If the butterfly symbolizes the butterfly effect for Jayce, then I think it has a different meaning for Viktor - the change and rebirth meaning.

I've always found it very interesting that we see a similar-looking butterfly on Progress Day... but made of metal.

Every time Viktor's situation changes, he adapts and evolves. If Jayce attacks him, if his cult is destroyed, if the Hexcore is causing Viktor to decay, if all of these things happen at once - he'll just evolve again, and I think the Machine Herald is the next step. And the Machine Herald will be a triumph for Viktor, but Jayce will believe that he's created something even worse. The resulting feud will be a personal nightmare for both of them.

I think this still allows Viktor to use his own agency to choose to become the Machine Herald (the MH will probably be the "secret third option" that saves Viktor, or there will be a secret third option that ends the feud) while still allowing Jayce to be offended and horrified at whatever the Machine Herald represents or is trying to do in the undercity. Introducing the element of time travel allows Arcane to explore the meta concept of tragedy and fate that season 1 was built on while showing that you can't "solve" a tragedy, because there are other terrible possibilities lurking behind alternate choices. Especially if what you're trying to change is singular people or events and not systems of power.

This is why Ekko's approach with his Z-drive will be superior to Jayce's sweeping attempt at changing the future. Ekko's goal has always been societal change. He creates his own punk society in the undercity, more progressive and successful than anything Vander or Silco ever created, and a better bastion of safety, hope, and progress than what Heimerdinger founded in Piltover. Trying to change systems by going back in time is most likely futile. But taking what Ekko has already built in the Firelights, curing his tree, and fighting for the Firelights' survival bit by bit by optimizing the present with the Z-drive shows that:

It's more worth it to focus on becoming wise (Ekko's mask is an owl) and making choices you won't regret

It's best if you don't face your fate alone (act as a collective and take care of each other)

Consider every option, not just the obvious black and white choices

Maintain and fix what you've already built instead of abandoning it once things get difficult

Adapt as needed if the choices you made lead to dark consequences, and once again, stick together and take care of each other when the bad times do come

That's my Act 2 but, ultimately, my season 2 prediction based on the butterfly symbolism we've already seen. Ekko's involvement is what will give the series the at least partial happy ending that the creators have referred to. I personally don't think that the Viktor/Jayce feud will end quite so well, but maybe, they will still survive.

#arcane #spoilers #arcane s2 #arcane spoilers #jayce talis #ekko #viktor #viktor arcane #long post #meta #jayvik #arcane meta #heimerdinger #I'm positive that Mel will be deeply involved with this too considering her comments on fate #honestly the thought of her being caught in the Viktor/Jayce feud is terrible to contemplate so I'm just gonna pray for my girl #I did not like the time travel implications when i first watched act 1 but after thinking about this i feel way better about it #Another reason I think this will come down to Viktor is because Heimerdinger has distrusted Viktor since season 1 and he will focus on him #Ekko will see the faults in focusing on one person #Jayce is least likely to survive all this considering how fast the consequences of his actions are catching up with him #but there could also be a chance here of viktor choosing to spare him - if only to curse him with the Defender/Herald feud forever idk #anyway i am feral for season 2 so far can't you tell

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logaenhowlett · 1 month ago

Text

THIS NIGHT HAS OPENED MY EYES - L.H.

Summary: Fate isn’t something Logan believes in. So what happens when he crosses paths with someone who has haunted his mind for nearly 50 years?

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, A desperate need to hug Logan

A/N: After weeks of pushing this fic aside, it's finally done. I'm happy with how it turned out, hope you enjoy! Title creds to The Smiths.

MASTERLIST

1983 - Alberta, Canada

Logan doesn’t stop running. Even after the soles of his feet turn an alarming shade of purple and blue, marring the once-soft skin with bruises and scars which will eventually fade away. Adrenaline carries him through the dense forest and its unforgiving terrain, but it’s fury - along with sheer horror - that courses through his veins.

Red is all he sees. His heart thumps in his chest, feeling like an anvil dragging him into the earth. His breathing comes out ragged - the cold air, the newly metal-infused claws burning through skin - it all just becomes too much for him. The constant beat of dog tags hitting his chest echoes as he slices his way through the woods.

A million thoughts rush across his mind, none remaining in place long enough for him to grasp. Logan was never one to dwell on fantasies, always quick to shut down whatever illusions that little flicker of hope within him conjures. But now, he dreams of a world that isn't cruel, a world that doesn't wreck, shatter and destroy this innate sense of good he carries. A world that could never exist.

Glimpses of his childhood fight against the agonizing pain shooting through his body. For a brief second, Logan breaks free from the mental shackles of his survival instincts, enough for his mind to flood with memories he'd believed were lost to the disease of time. His knees falter as flashes of his mother, his father and even his brother momentarily hush the undying streams of insecurity and worthlessness that flow so deeply within him.

It's when he sees himself - that young child who dared to dream of a life worth living, a life he'd be proud to reminisce as he takes his last breath - he thinks it's the end. How would that little boy feel knowing this is what he'd become? A pawn in a game he'd never have a choice to deny.

His vision blurs, stinging in sorrow and heartbreak for his younger self. A tremble runs through his body and Logan wants nothing but to sink beneath the ground under his feet. To scream as exhaustion rips into his muscles, crumbling whatever resolve searing within. He'd give anything for it all to stop. The voices in his head to lull into a silence he desperately craves, even just for a second.

Fear was never something that infected him. Yet, at this moment, he truly is frightened. Terrified that he'd unknowingly sacrificed the only lingering shred of belief he held for himself and all that remains now is but a monster - a machine wired to do the very thing he refuses.

Logan thinks he's on the verge of crashing, to surrender to the plague poisoning his mind, body and heart. Just as he aches to cross that line, a soft gasp from someone nearby startles him. His eyes dart around, strides slowing down so abruptly that the sudden movement leaves his knees shaking. He can't even pull himself together long enough to properly focus on his surroundings, to absorb all the minute details he could once subconsciously catch.

His breath hitches as you reveal yourself, quickly studying you to determine whether you’re a threat. Even as the alarm in his head doesn’t ring, he’s still on edge when you approach warily. There’s just something about you he can’t quite detect.

“It’s okay… I’m not going to hurt you.” You whisper, hands raised.

Logan stares at you, tense and on high alert. Your gaze keeps dropping to the bloody claws between his knuckles, your expression twisting to one of shock and concern. His mind becomes a little hazy, the lucid part of him wants to run away, yet he's rendered frozen.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He hears you murmur once again, your hand slowly reaching towards him. The tone of distress in your words leaves Logan anxious, chest heaving in suspicion. A shiver rolls down his spine as your fingertips brush against his skin, goosebumps rising at the contact. Your eyes find his again, searching for any hint of resistance and when he gives no sign of hostility, you gently rest your palm against his shoulder.

The initial touch sends a current of sensations through his body. Immediately, a wave of calm washes over him and everything around him stills. Logan wills his mind to concentrate on the little bubble you seem to have created. And after what feels like forever, silence diffuses the noise in his head. A sob threatens to escape him as he grabs your wrist, he wants to say something, to question this strength you have over him, but he remains speechless.

He expects to recognise the unmistakable cast of terror across your features, staggering a little when he finds none. Not even the intimidating glare of the adamantium wavers your faith in him. And that realisation overpowers the gentle and soothing aura you seem to radiate. A broken hum cracks through the quietness, Logan drops your hand in an inexplicable panic. He shares one last look with you before sprinting off.

2029 - Eden, North Dakota

As the soft glow of light caresses his face, Logan shifts amongst the heap of blankets delicately wrapped around him. His muscles loosen in relief, finally content to rest after years and years of forcing him into overdrive.

There's a kind of weariness to him now, his movements slow, his healing even slower. He can't recall a time when his body wasn't fighting against him - against the adamantium. Pain becomes such an unceasing feeling that sometimes he doesn't register when one of his stitches pops open, blood staining his clothes with the reminder of his deteriorating state.

He sighs quietly, the conversation with Laura left a heaviness in his heart. Logan couldn't blame her, she’s a little kid after all, one presented with the chance of belonging to a makeshift family. But, he can't be the father she needs. The one she deserves. At least, that's what he tells himself. It's better that way, for her and for everyone who might get involved, to give them a fair shot at life untainted by his cursed touch.

Logan stops resisting his need for sleep, comforted by the fact that Laura's amongst her friends and away from danger for the time being. He drifts off almost instantly, the presence of someone in the room going unnoticed.

Leaning against the doorframe, you watch as his chest rises and falls, his soft breaths filling the air. He looks a lot older since the last time you saw him. Eyes a little sunken, wrinkles decorating skin, streaks of grey twisting into dark hair. Despite the physical changes, you can sense a weight that seeps so far into his soul, this aura of fatigue and defeat he exudes. God, he's so tired.

Feet moving at their own will, you slide onto the edge of the bed, tenderly running your hand along Logan’s arm. The slight shift of his expression as he subconsciously relaxes draws a small smile from you. Nightmares spare him this time.

Logan stirs awake a while later. As reality begins to settle once again, he stares at the ceiling, feeling a sort of peace and tranquillity that sparks only one memory. A brief encounter with a stranger who approached him with nothing but kindness.

The kids rush into the room, eager to see the hero they'd only read about in their comics. When has anyone ever been happy to see him? He wonders, uneasiness creeping into his thoughts.

"C'mon, let him rest."

It's the gentle tone yet one that carries a sway of authority that snaps his attention. The children hurry to leave, brushing past you in a fit of giggles as if they'd been caught doing something naughty.

Logan's eyes lock onto yours. His jaw twitches, chest caving as the realisation sets in. Of course, it's you. The reason why he'd felt such a lightness being here, his mind simmering in a state of serenity. The memory comes back in a sudden, the visions he's had of you throughout the years, ones that provided a fragment of bliss at times when he couldn't bear the misery - all of it comes back, overwhelming him.

Over decades, Logan convinced himself that you were but a figment of his imagination, concocted by his troubled mind as a last attempt at defence. As time went on, the mirage of you slowly dissolved. And now, here you are, standing in front of him - as real as he is. He sits, gradually lifting himself off the pillow, gazing at you in awe. You haven't changed at all.

"I can heal... like you." You offer, foreseeing the question that's lingering behind his lips.

He feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, all the dots in his head finally connecting. "You're one of us too." Logan says to himself, astonished, "That day - you did something to me."

Moving closer, you sink next to him on the bed, hand resting on his. A swell of tiredness spreads within him, he gasps under his breath at the sensation. It fades rather quickly, replaced by the inviting embrace of relief. Logan exhales softly, his expression riddled with wonder.

"I can't make you feel anything you don't already feel." Your whisper reaches him, "I can just... amplify it."

The fact sends jolts of shock through his body. Meaning, that day, you had found what little tendril of good he had so desperately clung onto. You saw it. You saw the good in him.

"I thought you weren't real."

Logan doesn't know why he's drawn to you. It just feels so natural to have you this close again - as if he'd found the missing part of himself he didn't know was tied to your soul. The voice in his head crawls to the forefront of his mind, polluting his desire to want you, to have you. He shouldn't be entertaining these wishes, everything he so hopelessly craves would just hurt you in the end.

"I wanted to find you," You tell him, sensing his internal battles, "But... I couldn't risk getting caught."

"Transigen?" He asks, despair slipping into his question.

The sound of laughter outside pulls your attention, "Gabriela. She told me about these kids. What happened... what those monsters did to them? I just - I couldn't let them fight this on their own." You see Laura in the distance, playing along with her friends. "She looks happy."

Logan follows your gaze, "I didn't... I didn't believe her. About this place." His voice wavers, the feeling of guilt clawing at him. He moves his hand away from yours, avoiding the flash of hurt across your face.

"You brought her here anyway. Some part of you hoped she'd be right." There you go again, managing to see the good in him. He shakes his head lightly, ignoring the choking weight in his throat. "You're not coming with us... I heard what you told her."

"Then you know why." He murmurs, eyes turning glassy.

"Logan - " You bring your hand to rest on his cheek, slowly turning his head, "I know you're not healing as fast... I can feel it." His eyes flick down to yours, a tangle of hesitation and longing behind them. "You don't have to give up - you don't have to be alone anymore."

Oh, how easy it would be to give in to you and the future you're promising. Yet, the shadow of agony looms over him. "I'm not meant for this - everyone around me dies." He spits out, angry at whatever higher being molded him this way - a man forever deprived of the simple pleasures of life. "I won’t let anyone else suffer because of me. The kids, Laura, you... you're better off on your own."

He shifts to lie down, too drained to continue this back and forth. The bed dips when you stand, a defeated sigh escaping you. As you’re about to leave, Logan's whisper makes you freeze.

"I'm not... whatever it is you think I am."

Sunlight beams through the windows, Logan scrunches his face as he rouses. It's oddly quiet, he notes, pushing himself off the bed. He takes a moment to focus his hearing on his surroundings - not a single soul around. A fit of coughs leaves him groaning, he stumbles his way outside, the raw intensity of the sun hitting him.

Empty is all he feels. A gaping crater in his heart as he understands what he'd given up by letting you slip away. Even Laura's absence strikes a chord, a small part of him had grown fond of the girl. He lets out a shuddering breath, this is what he intended. So why is every cell in his body yearning for your touch?

A swarm of drones fly overhead. Logan jerks his head at the noise, dread filling him once he sees the logo. He bursts into the room, searching for any medication to numb the pain burning through his organs. A green vial tucked away on the shelf gleams at him, he wastes no time, grabbing both the liquid and a needle before charging through the woods.

Everything within him seems to be on fire as he storms up and down the hills. He's out of breath in mere minutes, gasping for air while his lungs constrict. When the oxygen in his brain starts to diminish, Logan falls to the ground, coughing as his wounds reopen. His consciousness dances around the line between reality and illusion. Reaching into his pocket, he fumbles with the syringe, drawing the entirety of the vial - Rictor's warning rings in his head - and injecting the fluid.

It's almost rapid. The way the drug shoots through his bloodstream. Pupils blown wide, he roars, energy rushing into his veins. His legs carry him across miles towards the panicked screams of children and gunfire. Once the Reavers spot him, they direct their weapons at the bigger threat. Logan rips through them, unfazed by the bullets spraying everywhere.

Amongst the chaos and carnage, he spots you struggling against the soldiers' grasp. That momentary distraction sends him flying backwards as the impact of the railgun pierces his body. A primal rage erupts within him, his muscles throb violently, knuckles turning white. The effects of the drug wear off, knees buckling when he tries to stand, he collapses to the ground instead. His eyes glaze over, the wrath that had consumed him earlier now waning into hopelessness.

Laura stills in her tracks, her friends sprinting past her. "No! Run!" He yells, grunting. "Go to your friends, Laura." Logan stammers, knowing she can hear him.

He shuts his eyes for a second, every fiber of his being honing in you. With immense effort, he slowly rises, hand stained crimson while he clutches his stomach. He only moves a couple feet before he's knocked in the head.

X-24 glares at him ruthlessly, drawing his clawed-fist back to strike him again. Logan blinks wearily, catching the terror on your face as you attempt to escape from the soldiers' hold. An angry growl comes from somewhere behind him. Laura launches herself at X-24, slashing at him with all her strength. The clone staggers a little before grabbing her shirt and hurling her towards a tree.

The act makes Logan writhe in anger, but before he can attack him, X-24 lunges forward, extending his claws into Logan's side. Blood gushes out of him and your deafening scream is all he can hear. He doesn't know what's more excruciating - the pain or the look of sheer anguish on your face.

A bang echoes in his head. X-24 drops to the ground next to him, the remnants of a smirk on his half-exploded skull. Laura stands, a couple feet away, pistol in her hands. It's thrown away immediately as she runs to him.

The kids swarm around you, their collective powers thrusting the soldiers far away. In the corner of his eye, Logan sees you racing towards him. Weakly, he convinces Laura to go, to save herself. His words barely louder than a whisper as he gazes at her, pleading. She looks at you tearfully, torn between what to do. Muffled sounds of her friends calling her name reach her ears and with a heavy heart, she goes after them.

"Logan!"

You fall next to him, bringing his body to rest against yours. Your touch provides a sense of solace, a comforting warmth enveloping him. Logan knows you're willing your powers to take his pain away, to distract his mind from the agony tearing through him. All this time, even your indirect presence in his life was a beacon of hope amongst the shadows - a reminder that he was never alone. He whispers your name, faintly.

"No. No." You insist, shaking your head. "You are not dying. I won't let you."

Logan feels your hands press against his wound, your sobs breaking his heart. The emotion in your voice is a dagger to his spirit. He wishes to reach up and brush those tears away, to extend the same sympathy you do to him. Desperation fills your mind, your fingers fumbling with his clothes before your eyes shut, trying to channel your healing powers into him.

"Sweetheart..." A soft smile tugs his lips and his hand finds yours, gently intertwining them. "It's okay."

As his mind begins to finally relax, a vision spreads a surge of content through his body. You and him - on the Sunseeker. Tucked away in your own pocket of time, drifting across the seas without a care in the world. Perhaps he'd let you steer if you asked. He'd do just about anything you ask.

"No - Logan."

"It's all quiet now."

Despite only having one memory of you, he'd always cherished the compassion and tenderness you showed him. He realises now that, over the last fifty years, he'd fallen in love with you. In his own way.

"No... please..."

Darkness engulfs him as he takes his last breath. "I love you."

The world shrinks. A broken whimper leaves you, lost amongst the ringing silence. You don't let go of him, even as he goes limp against you. Your uncontrollable tears stain his clothes, everything loses its meaning. It feels like eternity stretches out before you, fuelled by the weight of your grief.

Then, Logan's finger twitches in your hand. You gasp, heart pounding as life returns to his body, a gentle tide washing away old wounds. The soft thumping in his chest makes your eyes widen in disbelief. You hold your breath as his eyelids flutter open, he lets out a ragged groan, matching your stunned look.

"You saved me..."

Hearing his voice again sends trembles down your spine, without sparing another second, you wrap your arms around him. Logan flexes his muscles, bringing you into his embrace, a mixture of emotions consuming his mind. As you whisper his name over and over again, doubting the reality of this moment, he pulls back slightly - nothing but decades of pure longing in his eyes.

His lips brush against yours, pouring every morsel of affection he can muster. Logan kisses you like a man starved, everything he'd bottled up rushing towards freedom. Tears ache to escape when the feeling of love grows within him and he smiles - that little boy would be happy.

"You saved me, sweetheart."

Don't worry, I'm not letting the story end here. Part two is in the works!

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