#partially because I do genuinely like chatting with people

[motherhenna]

yoooo ok that last job turning out to be bullshit might actually be a blessing in disguise because I just landed an interview for an after school theater teacher gig that pays way better~ I went to theater camp every year from ages 12 to 17 and always loved the idea of being a counselor for a program like that, and did backstage / dramaturg work for a play at UCSB back in pre-pandemic 2020 so I might actually have a shot at this. Wish me luck!

[rafesproperty]

BLOOD PACT 🩸 Jealous!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Feel like this is something Rafe (especially S2 Rafe) would 100% pull after being jealous and high out of his mind. He’d make you swear you are his, he’d insist on connecting your blood with his to seal that promise.

Warnings: blood (duh😭), open wound, drug usage, Rafe’s possessive af

» masterlist

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You were chatting with your friends, enjoying a party at Tannyhill. Parties there were never chill ones, 'cause Rafe was the one throwing them. Most of the people there were high and drugged out of their minds, so you preferred to stay out of trouble, hanging out with your girl friends and not getting wasted.

Rafe always had his eyes on you tho. He was selling coke to people and messing around with Kelce and Topper, but he always knew where you were, who you were talking to, what state you were in. Partially because he was so damn possessive, mostly because he wanted to make sure you're safe.

So it was to no surprise that he stormed over the second he saw JJ making his way over to you. "Fuck off Maybank," he shielded you with his body before JJ even got a chance to say something to you. You tried to get a hold of Rafes arm, to calm him down a bit, but he didn't budge, his eyes blown and fingers twitchy, mind foggy from all the lines he already snorted tonight.

JJ frowned when he noticed Rafes state. It genuinely baffled him, how someone like you could be with someone like him. "Does he hurt you?" JJ mumbled out, alcohol blinding his own mind, his question clearly directed at you even tho his eyes were locked with Rafes.

"Fuck did you say?" Rafe shoved him, JJ shoved him back, Rafe hit him, JJ hit him back, both landing some serious hits to each others face. The rest was a mess, JJs friends pushed Rafe off him when he was starting to get the upper hand, and you finally got a hold of him, holding his shaking arm with both your hands, praying he'll just stay with you and not beat all of them up.

"Rafe, baby, let's go, please," you pleaded and he took one look at you, blown eyes meeting your worried ones and he knew he'd do anything for you right now. He gave a quick nod, grabbed your hand and dragged you to his room, slamming the door.

"What the fuck are they even doing here?" Rafe mumbled, finally realising that JJ was at his party. "'m gonna kill them," he snarled, pacing, making his way to the door again but you jumped in front of him, holding his face, forcing him to look at you.

"Rafe, please, 'm here with you, 'kay? Stay here." You pleaded again and your touch on his face had a calming effect on him, so he rolled his eyes but gave a nod, hoping Kelce and Topper will kick the Pogues out.

"Fuck," he whispered and pulled away from you, still pacing around the room, his whole body tense and shivering, "shit, the fuck was that? I would never hurt you." He grumbled, panicking because of what JJ said. Drugs fogged his mind and images of you leaving him suddenly flooded in, images of that Pogue dragging you away fogging his judgement.

"Rafe—“ "Fuck."

"Rafe!" He froze and looked over at you through glossy eyes. You walked over to him again, grabbed his hands into your own and rubbed calming circles into his palms. "Breathe, 'kay? I don't know why JJ was there, but it doesn't—“

JJ. He hated the way his name rolled off your tongue, the rest of your words getting drowned by his thoughts again.

His mind was racing as he sat you down on his bed, running a hand through your hair. "You're mine, right? For good, right?" He asked, standing over you, panic evident in his eyes. You wished you'd see his thoughts, but you couldn't make any sense out of him. He was usually so confident in your relationship, bragging to everyone about you, showing you off, holding you close, you hated the way the drug affected his mind.

"Of course, baby," you ran your hands down his chest, trying to soothe him but he stepped away again, not registering your touches.

"Prove it," he mumbled and suddenly stood still, eyes burning through you. You frowned. He needs a proof? You felt offended, honestly. But then again he wasn't thinking straight, so you gave him a nod, hoping it would finally calm him down.

He watched you and nodded back a few times, "'kay, 'kay," he started to search through his drawer, mumbling something.

"Alright," he said and you flinched when you finally saw what he was holding in his hand now, the blade reflecting back some moonlight from his window.

"Rafe—“ "Don't worry," he whispered ever so gently and sat down next to you, "won't hurt you,” he promised, his free hand squeezing your leg in a comforting manner, and you relaxed a bit, holding eye contact with him. His pupils finally stopped shaking, his eyelids heavy now.

"I love you," he mumbled, and leaned closer to you, his breath brushing against your skin, "wanna be with you for good, baby, 'kay? You're mine," his grip on your leg became harder but you let him, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I love you too Rafey, you know that, just me and you, alright?" You were brushing his hair with your fingers gently, looking at him. His eyes landed on your lips for a few seconds before he captured them in a messy kiss.

"Yeah," he mumbled and brought the knife to his palm, "we do this, you know 'll take care of you, alright?"

You gave a nod, ready to do anything for him as he ran the blade through his skin, leaving a red cut along the way. He didn't really react in any way, numb to any pain from the intoxication.

"Here," he reached for your hand, and noticed you were shaking, "shhh," he cooed, and his thumb gently caressed your palm before he ran the blade through your skin too, but your cut was a lot smaller, not as deep, and he kissed your cheek gently when you winced.

"Atta girl," he mumbled more to himself and brought your injured hand up, holding his own to yours, eyes locked there. "Swear to be mine, to stay with me? Never leave me," he said desperately, and you nodded immediately.

"Yes. Swear to be mine, for good?" You asked and he locked eyes with you.

"Always was," he mumbled, "but yeah. I do." He connected your hands, his fingers locking with yours, drawing soothing circles with his thumb when you felt the sting of the wound rubbing against his.

It was like something switched in him, he leaned over you, pushed you back, your hands still connected as he kissed you hungrily, teeth clashing with yours and his tongue slipping into your mouth, claiming you.

You kissed him back, moaning softly, biting down on his lower lip. He pushed your hand into the pillow next to your head, still rubbing your skins together, connecting your blood into one.

He wasn't thinking when he let go of your hand and cupped your face in his hand, smearing some of both of your blood on your jaw.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

My inbox is always open if you have any specific Rafe requests in mind! 💕

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Fun Carmy

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, the other one is Logan, his social alter ego.

I was wondering if Carmy ever had a day of fun in whole life because IMO he has always been that anxious lil kid around others, that we saw in Fishes (02X06), I’m sure. He’s better at the tête-à-tête like the one he briefly had with Michelle that evening

OR as part of small close-knit groups, like that scene in the kitchen (Ceres 01x06).

These assumptions, I think, are also completely backed up by his S1 -Emmy Winning- monologue (Braciole 01x08).

And what I ended up realizing is that FUN CARMEN is not the one we might think we haven’t really seen yet, and that fun for him does NOT look like it may look for us or for a more extrovert type of person.

I happen to be listening to Nina as I type this, and she once said:

I think that quote fits Carmy and his "sense of fun" perfectly.

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, and at peace Carmy.

This is fun Carmy

Fun for Carmy doesn't look like this

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy

Logan is not "fun", he is actually a source of anxiety for Carmy, and that's why he can't keep him "on" for long. He wasn't lying when he said he wasn't remotely OK at the party (Pop 02x05) because at that point he hadn't turned Logan on yet.

Logan is "The other one", the one most people would label as "fun", because it better fits the social CONSTRUCT of what fun looks like, but Logan Fernello Berzatto is actually his functional alter-ego.

His functional or social alter - ego explained from a behaviorist perspective

We all have functional alter egos, this is related to the PERSONAL constructs concept developed by Psychologist George Kelly. These are formed at a fairly early age, even well within our 20s we are still forming our personalities and constructs or ideas of how the world works and what everything means, and thus how we should interact with and/or react to this world we live in, in other words, how to adapt or not to our environment. Then comes our career that can prolong this formative period even more, for instance, celebs of any age are required to have an alter ego for those occasions on which they have to "turn it on" for the camera or the stage → "the stage persona" that is NEVER the same person as the real one behind the wheel of the "functional alter-ego" and this persona has been formed based on their ideal of what has worked best for them in the past, what their PR team or Managers require of them to get them jobs, etc. They may come across as genuine and relatable but celebs are usually always "on" when we see them even off camera, so they are not, not completely. We all have the "office construct", the "school construct", the "mom chat group construct", etc. That is actually a sign of being well-adjusted to fit in society, and that is why we do not act the exact same way in all those different situations even though we are the same person, because we are not the same "persona" and that's OK. It's not a sign of phoniness, or lack of honesty, although it can definitely turn into that and become dysfunctional when there's an underlying mental health disorder, although it doesn't always turn out like that, thank dog!

In Carmy's case in particular, he can handle Logan and turn him on / off at will, which means he's in that aspect still well-adjusted despite his multiple mental health conditions, probably because none of them is a personality disorder, so it's safe to assume that he somewhat knows what's he's doing, he's choosing it to a certain extent and it's not 100% unconscious, only partially.

His lines are becoming blurry because he let Syd in, whether he admits it or not. And deep down, he knows this but he's not fully willing to go there (yet). That's what S4 is for.

This aligns with the rest of his behavior I already went over in previous posts:

Fun Carmy is the one that California, Copenhagen, and Chicago post-Sydney Adamu brought out in him. He's what most people, not me, would call relaxed, chilled, etc.

Relaxed Carmy, at peace Carmy, coloring Carmy, talking about food and cracking lil jokes under a table Carmy, is FUN CARMY.

We know him already. We've seen him. He just turns him off when he's The Bear or Logan.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[hotteoki]

leaving

hi everyone <3

as some of you may have noticed, i went on a hiatus around 4-5 months ago. this was partially to do with the fact that life has been taking a huge toll on my mental health, especially from school work and a levels :,)

i never thought i’d be saying goodbye to this account so quickly, but after considering this decision for so long and being on the fence about it, i’ve realised that if i wasn’t going to come back any time within this year or the next (not until i’ve sorted myself out at least), then there was no point in consistently saying ‘i’m on a short hiatus’ and giving a false hope that i’ll be back soon.

through this account, i’ve made friends with some of the absolute best people ever, some of them whom i’ve lost contact with and others who i still talk with on a daily basis. however, that’s not to say they haven’t made an impact on me. i appreciate each and every one of my friends or mutuals, even if we’ve never properly chatted before.

similarly, the amount of emotions i feel from realising my work has given some people happiness is something i genuinely cannot put into words. every like, comment, repost— i cherish and still remember them up till now, after nearly 3 years of being on this account.

i can’t promise i’ll never return, because i don’t know what the future has planned out for me, so i can’t say i’m leaving forever, but what i will say is, i’m leaving indefinitely.

i’m keeping this blog up, mainly because i can’t bring myself to delete it after all the memories it’s given me, but also because it’s such a huge part of me that deleting it just wouldn’t be right.

so, to finish off, i’ll say goodbye for now. if the future is in my favour, i hope i can meet everyone again in a happier, more stable self <3

thank you and goodbye ♡

with love,

skits

[theendorisit]

magnus protocol season 1 part 1 praise and credits

all right my lovelies, we are at our Magnus protocol hiatus and you know what that means?

Credit where credit is due, we do not get wonderful stories without wonderful storytellers, and storytellers don’t get to tell stories without the people working tirelessly to bring the story to the audience. So thanks to everyone at Rusty Quill who makes these stories possible! I also want to shout praises to our part 1 guest writers: Graeme Patrick, Cole Weavers, Jamie Petronis, Shaun Pellington. Stellar work everyone!

All credits and my thoughts on each episode are below, so SPOILERSSSSSSSSS, you have been warned.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 1 – First Shift

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email] CAT23RAB2155-10042022-09012024 Transformation (eyes) -/- Trespass [chat log]

Written by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: stunner of a first episode, juggling meeting literally everyone and setting up the huge diversity of case styles we will be seeing. Also shout out to Alex for making sure we got such a banger of a line: ‘Canaries should stay above ground’.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 2 – Making Adjustments

CAT3RBC1567-23092022-18012024 Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing by Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: Like walking down a stone spiral staircase, you never know what the next thing is going to be (but you know it'll be dark and make your stomach drop a little). Enjoying the twist on accurate CS terminology (yes, contractors ARE called Externals).

The Magnus Protocol Episode 3 – Putting Down Roots

CAT2C8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (full body) -/- arboreal [journal entry]

Written by Graeme Patrick (for more of his work visit https://www.aintslayednobody.com)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: absolutely now a fan favourite, compelling gruesome body horror, with an intriguing backstory. The slow unravelling of a mind. Brings to mind horrors like Kafka's The Metamorphosis and the film The Ruins (not because they are similar stories necessarily, but, well, vibes). Definitely need more Graeme Patrick in my life!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 4 – Taking Notes

CAT3C7494-19111831-29012024 Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]

Written by Cole Weavers (for more of his work visit https://www.thetownwhispers.com)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: A curious tale, that gets more curious in the re-hearing. Sure, an instrument plays the player. But how was the teacher driven wild BEFORE the pupil got the special violin? Maybe the chaos was from him, and the violin was a conduit? Got to hear more Cole stories! Dear grandpa Augustus does always tell such lovely stories, if Tim Fearon can narrate my life, that would be great thx. Also - need a promotion? get your windows NT to tattle on your boss! Lena giving Gertrude vibes with the killing-my-assistants theme.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 5 – Personal Screening

CAT2RB2377-10012023-05022024 Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [internet blog]

Written by Alexander J Newall and Jamie Petronis (for more of his work visit https://www.thecellarletters.com/)

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall.

Thoughts: I really love this one, it is such a brilliant thrilling story that genuinely has me shouting 'WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? I need more details!!' - which is a hallmark of all good mysteries honestly. Will be on the hunt for more Jamie stories.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 6– Introductions

CAT1RB4824-09022024-12022024 Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Needles is a lame tryhard. I love him. Also Alice referring to Lena as 'Big Bird' is hilarious. Also, yay, Celia!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 7 – Give and Take

CAT2RC3338-03022016-12022024 Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I really hope that Mr Clayton turns up again. As the remains of a crime scene. Also, worldbuilding: hello Oxford. hello people in what is essentially an antique shop repeating the same phrases. Getting déjà vu. And Gwen, you know the Civil Service is really easy to move around, right? You can get a secondment, a loan, a transfer, there's internal job adverts... are you sure you want a promotion?

The Magnus Protocol Episode 8 – Running on Empty

CAT2RBC3366-12072023-28022024 Architecture (liminal) -/-hunger [coursework]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing with Additional Materials by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I feel like I just experienced a TMA/Backrooms crossover and I can dig it. Interesting repetition of ... repetition as a theme ('people' repeating phrases over and over). I like this one a lot, I feel that it communicates a great deal about the way this universe (or at least, its spooky experiences) works. Also, I really really hope Gee Gee is a villain in this story, just so Sue Sims can be the tiny cackling witch she was destined to be.

Interestingly, the official transcript has the name Hostile Workplace - an early title perhaps?

The Magnus Protocol Episode 9 – Rolling With It

CAT3RB3354-14101998-08032024 Dice (bone) -/- fate [Magnus Statement]

Written by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: This is a fun one, and does put an interesting twist on the idea of owning an artefact, that one could compel others to take the negative consequences. Can't decide if the ending (oh one last time) is too predictable - but definitely immensely satisfying. Also, I'm not sure if the truck/diner death is a direct reference to a final destination movie ending, but I noticed some similarities.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 10 – Saturday Night

CAT1RB2275-06082021-09032024 Mascot (kids) -/- murder [TV interview]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: appropriately named! The sound design for this episode gives me intensely-visual mental images of the TV interview, and I really want a YouTube video unpacking the Bonzo Butcher and his crimes, timelines, arrest, everything.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 11 – Marked

CAT23RC5246-06012020-11032024 Tattoo (corpse) -/- compulsion [email exchange]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall  

Thoughts: Shirley Jackson Susan Hill called, she wants to know when she can have her haunted typewriter back.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 12 – Getting Off

CAT1RB4728-09032024-13032024 Mascot (kids) -/- frenzy [insurance claim]

Written by Alexander J Newall 

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims  

Thoughts: Possibly my favourite so far. Alex is bringing the gory horror and it's perfect. Excellent descriptive storytelling - opening a guy's head like a book is a visual I did not know I needed.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 13 – Futures

CAT3RB4622-17092023-14032024 Gambling (application) -/- murder [voicemail]

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Can someone get Alex in as a writer for Black Mirror? The series might actually get good as a result. Also can someone start a series tally for died in a hospital bed due to wickedly cool sound design? Thanks. Death by personal adjustment is giving TMA season 5 Mortal Garden vibes.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 14 – Pet Project

CAT1RB4426-01081995-15032024 Transformation (snake) -/-horde

Written by Shaun Pellington (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm14461505/)

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Sometimes well-written characters come and punch you in the gut. Character writing isn't always prioritised in horror, as the characters can just be the vehicle through which horror happens. But the transition from report to last message to dad really hit hard, and the story was creepy af. Shaun writes podcasts and voice acts, so check out his stuff.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 15 – Well Run

CAT1RB-6451-22062023-22032024 Hunt (aristocratic) -/- compulsion

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

 Thoughts: the real horror is being forced to be the monster. Yet you had a choice, you chose the monster, before anyone else could. I will always praise the sound team, though it is amazing how a shot through a window also kinda sounds like a brick wall falling down. I enjoyed Alice's run-in with the drowned woman, great writing, sound design and authentically chaotic. Also, let us all simp for Lady Mowbray, purely because it disgusts Jonny.

The official transcript also has an alternate name Good Show

I know exactly what Jonny means about disgust for the aristocracy, but his reaction is too funny to not do it.

PSA - nellie the elephant was dropped as a CPR technique bc you need to depress a chest by 2 inches to pump someone's heart, and compressions were too shallow when people used that song. Another One Bites The Dust and Stayin' Alive are better rhythms to use.

 The Magnus Protocol Episode 16 – Anti-social

CAT1RB1565-30102023-25032024 Tattoo(influencer)-/- Cardiac

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: I genuinely really like this case and the character. Sure, cringy, but she's young, overexcited, and wants attention, like every other human being on the planet. I think she's quite a compelling character to follow, as she trips headlong into abject misery. Spectacular sound design on the death scene.

Also, a lot of people were complaining about the slang, but given the load of cringy slang that the fandom made the cast read out: this episode was 100% deserved. You want them to call their characters dummy thicc? You made your cringy slang bed, now lie in it (I say with love, affection, and sarcasm).

I am aware part of the complaints were that non-AAVE characters were using AAVE - but unfortunately, that is how real life, and real slang use, works. For example, the word 'cool' meaning good, has been around since the 1930's, and originated from Black Americans in the Jazz scene. Now, everyone uses it. I can't comment on whether this is good or right (and I don't think the show does either), only that the show's use/misuse of slang is accurate to real life.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 17 – Saved Copy

CAT2RC1147-30111997-04042024 Doppleganger (interdimensional) -/- murder

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Alex and Jonny are very good at twisting existing formats. Evil Twin/Doppleganger? Oh he'll want to kill you, replace you, drain your life, steal your existen- oh he wants a friend to play in his murder dungeon? That's new! Also, the receptionist and orchid-pervert - stop being a tease Alex!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 18 – Solo Work

CAT1RC2374-20032024-10042024 Memory (derelict) -/- compulsion

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: How can a body speak without lungs? Autopsy reports are some of my favourite horror (see The Mortuary Assistant game and the autopsy of Jane Doe film). A house full of fog and forgotten poems.

Also, I got the credit details from the official transcript, so I'm not sure if Jonny writing and editing his own script is an error or deliberate, but it is kind of funny on an episode called 'Solo Work'.

Everyone complains about the AQA Anthology (2004) we had to read for English GCSE, but I loved it intensely.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 19 – Hard Reset

CAT13RBC1137-21031684-11042024 Transformation (canine) -/- growth (Crystalline)

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims

Thoughts: Alex writes the word 'Christendom' in a story and is immensely happy about it. I get the deep suspicion that Alex and Jonny have 'Edward-Kun'-ed the boys into a horrific electronic chimera a la Full Metal Alchemist. Excellent world-building. Wonder if the 'Protocol' is going to be 'yeah, we find people acting sus, and we teach them what the second part of 'fuck around and find out' actually entails'. Also COLIN ISN'T DEAD YET. YAYYYYY.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 20 – Social Stigma

CAT1RAB2534-12042024-12042024 Transformation (tattoo) -/- Social Media (influencer)

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Edited with additional material by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Talking to a supernatural person... in person. I love it. Interesting dialogue on parasocial relationships and Gwen trying and failing to be an authority figure is hilarious (I am very similar!). Gwen's playlist is just RESPECT covered by Aretha Franklin on repeat. She can't get no respect ever.

Created by Jonathan Sims (@jonnywaistcoat)  and Alexander J Newall (@rqbossman) Directed by Alexander J Newall  Executive Producers April Sumner, Alexander J Newall, Jonathan Sims, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice Produced by April Sumner    Featuring (in order of appearance) Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer

Kazeem Tosin Amore as Teddy Vaughn Anusia Battersby as Gwendolyn Bouchard (@anouchard) Shahan Hamza as Samama Khalid Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelley Alexander J Newall as Norris Jonathan Sims as Chester Kate Sketchley as Daria Jenny Haufek as Therapist

Tim Fearon as Augustus Paul Schmidt as Klaus

Hattie Quinlan as Operator 1 Harry Roebuck as Needles Tom Park as Operator 2 Joe Bence as Police Operator Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley

Jon Gracey as Gerry Keay Sue Sims as Gertrude Robinson

Catherine Luff as Geraldine Hardy Steve Newman as Nigel Dickerson

Uncredited as Mr. Bonzo Beth Eyre as [Error]

Zena Carswell as Answerphone Euan Shedden as DarrienEp

Jesse Hawke as Voicemail Danny Scarre as Caterer Ellie Dickens as Lady Mowbray Yanick Ghanty as Luke Dyer Lara Sawalha as Drowning Victim

Vera Chok as Ink5oul Ki Griffin as Madam E

Sasha Sienna as Georgie Barker (@sashasienna)

----

Dialogue Editor – Lowri Ann Davies Sound Designers – Tessa Vroom, Katharine Seaton, Meg McKellar, Mastering Editor - Catherine Rinella

Music by Sam Jones (orchestral mixes by Jake Jackson) Art by April Sumner    Fabulous work everyone! Can't wait for the next part!

Official transcripts:

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for James Vowles with wife reader? Tom Brady was at the Williams garage during the FP1. James wondered what took his wife's attention from him. There, Tom Brady and her chatting up and he feels jealous because she was not spending time with him. Maybe he did something to gain her attention. Just something fluff and PDA. Thanks!!! :))

i'm going to be honest, I finished this a while ago and then just never published it, partially because then James started doing questionable things - like Logan! wtf man! and I feel bad for Franco cause he's doing amazing, outqualifying his teammate and he doesn't have a seat for next year! and zak's run out of funding for f2, like bestie, you have a wholeass f1 team backing you? basically Williams is fucked, and maybe I'm going to become a full time ferrari fan

i suppose they both made q3 tho so??? i won't jinx them for tonight

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

james vowles x wife!reader

---

James cracked his neck as he stretched taking the headphones off. It hadn’t been the worst FP1 from the entire season and it being Logan’s home race it was important for them to try and get some points on the board for the team.

But for now he was not thinking about that. He was just planning on finding his wife, and maybe curling up on a beanbag with her. He just needed to find her first.

He started asking around the garage, asking if anyone had seen her. Not many had, but a few PR people mentioned that they’d seen her heading towards hospitality.

So James headed towards hospitality. He remembered the PR people mentioning some celebrities coming to the grand prix. But he didn’t really care about any of the so-called ‘celebrities’ that came to Miami and considering he always had the excuse of work to have to do, he barely had to tolerate them.

But all those thoughts exited his head as he entered hospitality and saw Tom Brady sitting at a table, eating lunch. He was attempting not to fanboy at the sight of one of his favourite football players. And it was very easy to stop fanboying when he saw who Tom was eating lunch with.

Y/N was sitting on the table opposite Tom, looking heavily interested in whatever he was saying and nodding along as she ate her lunch. Some of the shy smiles she was showing, James rarely saw, solely because he was unable to surprise his wife a lot. She was unsurprised now when he kissed her or told her how beautiful she was. She appreciated it, of course, but he hadn’t seen this smile since he surprised her with a birthday party.

And then there was Tom Brady, a famous football player, seemingly flirting with his wife.

James was not someone who was very into public displays of affection, or PDA, but he genuinely saw no other option as he watched Y/N laugh again as Tom Brady said something. 

He walked over to the table, throwing his arm behind Y/N’s chair as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Hello Darling. Did you see the end of FP1?”

“Oh, hello James. Yeah we did, we watched the final few minutes here. Sorry I didn’t wait, but I wanted to beat the mechanic rush and I was a little bit hungry. Oh and by the way, this is Tom Brady, y’know, he won the superbowl a few times.”

He laughed and James had to clench his teeth to not spit at him “Only a few times, closer to 7. Sorry, I’m Tom, and you are?”

“James. I’m the team principal for Williams.”

“Oh, well lovely to meet you. Would you like to join us? I’m sure we could pull up another seat, and you could join us?”

“Yes, well I would love to join my wife for lunch, however I have a meeting. If you don’t mind darling, can I join you for afternoon tea?”

“Oh, of course.”

Y/N sat down in the booth waiting for her husband to slide in opposite her. She was not expecting her husband to lay another kiss on her cheek before sliding into the chair opposite, handing over the food.

“Are you okay James?”

“You mean other than whatever is going on with my team, yeah I am, why do you ask?”

“You seem a little tense.”

“I’m not tense darling.”

“Yes you are, now tell me why.”

“I’m not tense.”

“James, I married you 5 years ago. I know when you are tense.”

“Okay. Fine. I was jealous.”

“Jealous? When would you… oh. James,” she took his hands, leaning to try and look at him “James. Were you jealous of Tom Brady?”

“...no.”

“James, it’s okay if you are. But you have to know that I much prefer the sexy, nerdy British team principals than the hot American football players.”

“You… do.”

“Of course. That’s why I married one. I know I’m attractive James. And I know I could marry whoever I want. And I want to marry my sexy, nerdy British husband.”

“I love you too Darling.”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

[agentrouka-blog]

i always love your responses because i think you do such a good job explaining things (even though some of it is just common sense)... so i was wondering if you could read this meta? i've come across this sort of idea about sansa before in their circles, but this is the first time that i've seen them try to argue that she is somehow inherently unloveable *rolls eyes*

-Something I find really interesting is that for all Sansa craves admiration and “love” from others, she’s not especially good at making friends or inspiring supporters. When people do decide to support or “befriend” her in the story, it is always with ulterior motives—almost all of which serve themselves. This includes characters like the Hound, whose connection to Sansa is built off his own ideology concerning knighthood and gender in their social system.

Her inability to create that support system is partially due to her environments: King’s Landing and the Vale, neither of which are necessarily forgiving places. However, despite her hostage status and shamed House, Sansa is still a valuable person to befriend, even if only for ladies. She’s pretty, performs her ladyhood well, has a famous bloodline, and is tied to the very wealthy ruling family. What’s more, she’s obviously mistreated (for a portion of her time in the capital) and without much actual power. If anything, she should garner sympathy friendships, but with everything else in mind, she should attract at least some love, some support that isn’t totally disingenuous or self-serving, however minuscule. And yet even that eludes her for some reason.

The way similar characters—her siblings particularly—so easily find friends and supporters throughout the books really draws Sansa’s lack of them to the forefront. Jon, for example, finds friends in both the Night’s Watch and amongst the wildlings. Bran forms close friendships with Jojen and Meera. Arya literally makes friends in nearly every place she goes, be they high- or lowborn. Daenerys finds companions in her ladies and Missandei and gathers loyal supporters in people like Ser Barristan. Even Catelyn as Lady Stoneheart earns the support of the Brotherhood. Granted, many of these supporters operate in their devotion to specific Houses, but they’re not doing it to serve their own wants and desires, which is a stark contrast to those “supporters” who surround Sansa at various times.

All in all, I’m intrigued at the way Sansa’s desire for love—genuine or affected—evades her while many of her contemporaries, misfits and traditional characters alike, garner it quite easily. Aside from her environments, what is it about her specifically that seems to repel genuine relationships? And what does this persistent inability to gather loyal friends, companions, and supporters indicate about her future role, if there is one?-

if you can probably tell its written by an arya stan

I laughed. 😂 Anything to cling to the idea of queen Arya - or rather not!queen Sansa.

As if being a hostage of the royal family in the royal palace in the royal capital, surrounded by enemies and spies is not the entire reason Sansa is isolated. Do they even consider how much more risk is involved in even casually approaching her, than there is for anyone having a chat with "Arry" or "Nan" or "Cat"? There is nothing "partially" about it. She is a well-guarded hostage and no one safe and well-intentioned enters the perimeter of her prison, end of.

Once Sansa is in the Vale, she is still more difficult to approach by anyone than a "simple" lowborn girl, as the bastard daughter of Littlefinger (soon Lord Protector) - who takes pains to control who she interacts with and how. And still she begins to form tentative bonds to the people around her - mindful to keep her emotional distance to a degree after what happened with Margaery and Dontos.

Which highlights another crucial aspect. Arya's bonds? Generally represent her attachment to others, not the other way around. She declares Hot Pie and Gendry her pack and feels betrayed that they have their own lives and plans, she never asked them if they feel the same way and I doubt it - and yet her bond to Gendry (also on the run, no threat to her!) - is the single most genuine mutual attachment she forms after she becomes a fugitive. Do they think Yoren helped her because she's uniquely worthy and not because she is Ned's daughter? Do they think Jaqen has no ulterior motive? Or Harwin and Beric? They are kind because they can afford to be but their motives are their own ends. Do they think Lady Smallwood would have somehow withheld this same kindness from Sansa? The captain of the Titan's Daughter knows she is connected to the Faceless Men, ffs. And what possible risk is attached to the women of the Happy Port being kind to a beggar girl?

To her vast credit, Arya forms quick and genuine attachments to other people. More so than Sansa, whose situation also doesn't allow for it. But these attachments don't represent a support system and they aren't deep bonds.

This distorted representation of their ability to connect to people certainly doesn't allow for some kind of speculation how Sansa would act and be perceived in a safe environment and or in a role of political leadership.

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 37: CHÉVALIER (2022)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens! I’m back and I hope you missed me! Sorry for the multiple delays and all, but luckily I’m back at it now!!!

Okay, so this movie has been on my radar ever since it got announced. A story featuring a real Black man who lived during Frev? Sign me up! This has excellent potential and also, to my knowledge, at least a partially Black crew so we get more representation of marginalized groups in crews and on the screen!

At least, those were my thoughts before I actually watched the movie, but we’ll get to whether it was a good media piece later.

I found the movie on Russian language streaming websites, but it’s available on Amazon Prime and Disney Plus for those who would like to watch the original English version.

This review is dedicated to @idieonthishill , @vivelareine (who has a review that unpacks the movie from a historical pov and is welcome to add to the review 😊), @theravenclawrevolutionary , @sansculottides , @citizentaleo , @saintjustitude , @avergehistoryenjoyer , @lanterne and @jenxiez .

Okay, let the Jacobin Fiction Convention reopen!

2. The Summary

The movie tells a story of a real man, Joseph Bologne aka Chévalier de Saint-Georges. Recognized son of a white French nobleman and an enslaved black woman, Bologne must navigate the cutthroat world of the Parisian high society, dealing with racism and trying to reconcile his “white” upbringing with his African roots.

Sounds interesting, but let’s see how the premise was handled.

3. The Story

The Introduction scene - a musical duel between Mozart and Bologne, was actually quite good in my opinion. So were the other beginning scenes of kid Bologne growing up in France as an aristocrat and being bullied by his white peers, plus his father telling him not to let society break him.

These scenes establish quite well that Bologne has to carve out a place for himself among French nobility and make a lot of effort to get even a hint of acceptance. Sounds like a nice setup, right? Well, unfortunately at times Bologne in the movie doesn’t seem to have much agency at all.

For example, his title is granted to him by Marie-Antoinette basically on a whim, handed to him on a silver platter because the queen was impressed by his fencing skills, which in my opinion isn’t enough to show a character who has to work hard to be accepted. I think it would’ve been better if Bologne had at least several impressive fencing performances to prove himself and show more of his skills.

On the flip side, there are characters who have a bit too much agency. For example, in the story it’s Marie Antoinette who is calling all the shots and giving all the orders in France, even though Louis is alive and well. It’s definitely jarring to see how people say “by the order of the queen” when the king should be the one mentioned instead.

I didn’t care much for the love triangle storyline, but it’s my own personal preference and also the fact that it, like many parts of the story, isn’t all that nuanced. So yeah, very bland and boring.

Yes, Citizens, unfortunately nuance has officially left the chat, especially when it comes to the main character. See, at first Bologne doesn’t give a shit about poverty and famine plaguing France. He is enjoying his cushy life and his friendship with the queen of France instead. However, you know what makes him join the Jacobins? A fucking PERSONAL FALLING OUT WITH THE QUEEN. Not promises of abolishing slavery or granting rights to black people, not his own ideals… Just fucking pettiness!

It would have been much better if he didn’t have a falling out with Marie Antoinette and signed up for fighting with the Republicans because he genuinely wanted to do what was right, not due to personal beef. Especially since that was why he joined Frev in reality – the real Bologne made a choice to do the right thing simply because it seemed to be the right thing to him. Not out of petty desire to get back at the queen.

Also, the conflict between Bologne and his mother about how he is acting “too white”… eeeehh. To me it felt very anachronistic but maybe I’m wrong and there is more nuance missing because EVERYONE at court had to carry themselves in a certain way to make it. If you couldn’t do it, you were socially FUCKED. Besides, Nanon (the mother) and her friends crack really mean jokes about Bologne being “too white”, which is… well, an INTERESTING way to endear him to his mother’s culture…

The movie is juggling admittedly anachronistic theme about black culture, anti-slavery message, court drama and love triangles… and the juggling is done quite sloppily too, I’m afraid.

Also, just to illustrate how inaccurate this movie is, the events of 1789 are shown happening in 1776 for some reason, which shows just how much the creators didn’t give a shit about research.

Moving on.

4. The Characters

I really didn’t care for Bologne to be honest. He shows selfishness and pettiness, doesn’t have enough agency in the story and is also very inconsistent. After falling out with Marie Antoinette, he claims he defended her, which… he didn’t! At least it’s not shown in the movie! What the fuck happened to “show, don’t tell”?! Also, his incredible talents aren’t really shown in the way they could’ve been, more on that in the soundtrack section. A missed opportunity, really.

Nanon, Bologne’s mother, is a real embodiment of the themes of slavery and trauma present in the the movie. She merely exists to push him to embrace his African heritage and to remind him that he will never be truly accepted by other nobles. I honestly wish there was more to her character, because she ends up being little more than a walking theme embodiment.

Marie Antoinette here is a capricious, fair weather friend. She CLAIMS to support Bologne, but does it in indirect ways out of fear that nobles wouldn’t appreciate her openly backing a black man. Even though she is an absolute monarch so she can afford to show her support more openly. Actions speak louder than words, and she is clearly not a true ally of Bologne.

Marie Joséphe, Bologne’s love interest, is a woman trapped in a miserable marriage and yearning to act in Bologne’s operas. While I do sympathize with her, I believe that there really isn’t much depth to her either. We just don’t learn much about her. This is becoming a common theme…

Also, just as a side note while we’re talking about characters, many white characters in the movie are shown as mere flat caricatures. I can understand why, but, again, this doesn’t show nuance as in reality, while Bologne definitely had to deal with racism, he was not only accepted, but adored as a celebrity, but we don’t see that reflected in the attitudes of other people towards him. Because apparently the brains of the spectators will implode when they see nuance in a modern movie, it seems.

5. The Setting

Personally I wasn’t that impressed by the costumes or the settings. I’ve seen much better ones. Nothing bad, but nothing outstanding either.

6. The Soundtrack

Where the fuck is actual music from that time period?! Where is music by Bologne himself?! It’s a fucking missed opportunity and I don’t know what prevented the creators from including the music written by the MAIN DAMN CHARACTER into a biopic about him. A shame that they missed yet another opportunity.

7. The Conclusion

Honestly… I can’t say much when it comes to what this movie is fucking about. The story is bland, lacks nuance, doesn’t follow basic historical facts and is pulled in a million directions.

For a movie about an obscure figure, it doesn’t show much of the things Bologne was known for and at times even strips him of agency. We need to have better POC representation, because this is just not it.

The movie is mediocre, bland and forgettable. Don’t waste your time on it.

With that, I declare today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention to be over. Thank you for your patience and support during this hiatus of mine.

Stay tuned and stay safe!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[midnightsun-if]

What is the general student body’s opinions on each of the ROs? For example, Scarlett is popular, but is it in a positive or negative way?

Good question!

Koda: The general consensus towards Koda is that he’s a genuinely happy dude that just wants the best for everyone he comes across. The type of guy that’d give the shirt off his back if you asked. He’s the happy-go-lucky jock type that’s an overgrown teddy bear (literally in this case). He makes friends easily, and everyone tends to like him.

Scarlett: She’s definitely popular, but it’s in a mixed sort of way. In the positive aspect a lot, and I do mean a lot, of people vie for her attention; partially because she doesn’t give people the time of day, unless she absolutely has to, and because of her position within the supernatural world. For some, it’s become a game to try and catch her interest first. In the negative sense, a lot of people are jealous/envious of her. Wanting what she has, vying for her attention just so they can say they’re the first to receive it (and actually keep it), are among the common things.

Cyrus/Cyra: Everyone tries to clamber to be their friend. After all, they’re part of House Aurelia. Most think that they’re standoffish, when in all actuality they’re just trying to focus on certain things, and because of that a general consensus is that C thinks they’re better than everyone else because of their family. Just goes to show you that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear on the grapevine, huh?

Quinn: Similar to Koda in the aspect that a lot of people enjoy their presence, but Quinn tends to move away from large group activities, which doesn’t make them as popular. Most think of them as being a nice person to chat with, to get to know, but that’s about it.

Caden: Most people don’t really have an opinion of them. As Caden tends to stay away from the students they don’t have to interact with.

Sloane: An invisible ‘Do Not Approach’ aura surrounds them at all times, something that everyone adheres to. They’re a person that people don’t wish to mess with and try to steer clear of.

Blake: Quite popular themself, Blake tends to attract a lot of attention— both the good and the bad— among the student population. They’re seen as a partier that likes to let loose and doesn’t seem to have any actual attachments to anyone. They’re seen as the person to talk to if you want to find something fun to do around Aurelian.

Reginald/Regina: An enigma, an experiment, that everyone is interested in watching. The first human to ever be admitted as a student into Aurelian. What will they do? Will they be able to find their way? Everyone will be watching to see if they fail, and unfortunately a lot of people are expecting them to.

[laugtherhyena]

Sooo I was reading about the Nijiue siblings from one of your latest posts and got curious.

How do they all feel towards Iroha?

That depends? In the Student out if time Au/story blog they manage to fix their relationship and free the other 3 from the Nijiue parents but if we're taking a route close to canon things aren't that great amongst them :(

Hitaru has always tried to help her siblings in any way she can, she was essentially their caretaker figure since Ayato and Emina never bothered much with parenting. So she obviously cared and worried about Iroha a lot, just as she did for her other siblings, but due to the parents always piling her up with work and try to set her up with a suitor as she's the oldest daughter Hitaru didn't got to spend as much time with her siblings as she wished she could and before she knew it Iroha had dissapeared. She was greatly upset over her dissapearance and even tried to look for Iroha in certain occasions, but was punished by her parent's for "putting her duties as a Nijiue aside" and as the years went by she sorta lost hope that they could ever find her again, even tho deep down she always wished she could see her just one more time.

Jiro went through the same abuse as Iroha whn he was younger, being locked up in a room and forced to draw 24/7 until deemed enough for the Nijiue family standards, so he had a lot of empathy towards her and wished he could have done something to help her in that situation but because Jiro was so anxious and terrified of his parents he never did. When Iroha dissapeared he blamed himself for not standing up for her as her older brother and always assumed the worst must have happened to her when she vanished so he never actively tried to look for her like Hitaru did.

Akemi is.. Sorta the problem child of the family, ignored and highly criticized by the parents she seeked approval of for so long to the point it made her resent them and want to find a way to expose it escape from there grasp with her siblings of who she didn't have the best relationship with, she tends to be pretty mean to Jiro and gets annoyed at Hitaru for being a doormat for so long, but she did genuinely love them and wanted to see them grow a spine and fight back agaisnt their abusers. She butted heads with Iroha the most, as the two were always competing and getting on each other's case, but when Iroha ran away Akemi developed a strong admiration for her for being brave enough to leave their horrible situation, even if she did leave them all behind.

She always wanted to meet her again and see the kind of person her little sister became, but that never happened because Akemi died around the end in the tragedy after surviving a good chunk of the apocalypse alongside Jiro and Hitaru after their house was raided and the parents killed.

Akemi was partiality crushed by debris of a collapsing building, while her siblings did try to take the wreckage off of her and get her out of there, given the extent of her injuries there really wasn't much they could do to save her at that point. She passed away next to the two people she loved the most in her short life and although her siblings were deeply upset over her death, they took it upon themselves to follow her wishes and move foward instead of sulking in despair.

Hitaru and Jiro were later found and brought to the Kisaragi foundation where they were offered shelter as long as one of them worked there, so Jiro joined Rei's division while Hitaru was recovering from losing their sister since she took it the hardest. She still doesn't work there in the current time even tho she is doing a lot better, but she does visit the place frequently and chats often with her brother, Minako and Midori.

After the events of Sdra2 they are told of everything that happened to Iroha, including her involvement with setting up the Utsuroshima killing game and ties with Mikado and void. Needless to say, neither of them were happy with that information, learning that your little sister became a terrorist responsible for the deaths of several people is a horrifying revelation tht leads to both Hitaru and Jiro disowning her.

While neither of them like Iroha anymore, Jiro dislikes her significantly more than Hitaru as he sees her as no different from their parents now; a self-centered vile human being willing to hurt and throw others under the bus if it means she gets to come out on top. While Hitaru has developed a level of disdain for her, as much as she dislikes Iroha and what she became Hitaru is as sad as she is angry because she still sees her beloved little sister in her despite everything Iroha has done, i feel like part of her blames herself for Iroha turning out like this too. It hurts for her to be around Iroha, but she did visit her in her cell a couple times before Iroha an Syobai escaped from the foundation.

With the two on the run, Jiro does his best to help Tsurugi's division locate their whereabouts, as he wants nothing more than bring Iroha to justice, while Hitaru just wishes Iroha would take responsibility for once and turn herself in.

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

bury's tips to ACTUALLY combat writer's block

a lot of the time when you hear writers talk about writers block and what you can do to fight it, the advice that you hear is 'just write'

i took this to be true for a long time, and it's not the worst advice or whatever. at the end of the day anything you want to get done w writing does need to be solved by simply writing. but it took me until i was writing much more regularly to realize that actually thats nonsense

there are totally things you can do to help w writers block! ive been experiencing a bout of it recently, so i thought id share some tips partially to help out those who might read this, and partially to help myself out of that same slump

FEEDING THE MACHINE. in my experience, a lot of the time writers block is less of a blockage getting in the way of a flow of creativity and more like a machine running out of fuel. thoughts, ideas, and emotions CAN come from nowhere, but... usually they are coming from somewhere! i get my worst writers block when i am bored, under-stimulated, or stuck in my real life. try getting out into the world and doing something you don't usually do. this can be wild and exciting, or small and plain. take a different route home than usual, go for a drive somewhere cool, take yourself to a garden, bookstore, museum. if you're stuck at home try a new hobby; draw a weird picture, bake something, bird watch. this is really my top advice for myself at least, and something i have to remind myself when im despairing my own worth and dedication as a writer. you cant pour from an empty cup! you cant make something out of nothing! theres no point scraping yourself dry without trying to fill yourself back up.

FEEDING THE MACHINE... DIFFERENTLY. same principal applies here, but with what stories you are consuming. what actually got me to start writing and posting fic regularly was starting work in publishing that meant i was reading 1-2 books/manuscripts every day. they were often outside my usual reading genres, and sometimes i genuinely hated them... but they were food for the machine. the brain doesn't care if you like books about cows, the brain cares about variety and expanding its horizons. read something new and interesting! try a classic. try getting into queer classics you've never heard of if you're tired of old white men. read a murder mystery or a biography of a cool person or the history of the romance novel or frued's melancholia. try that new fantasy novel youve heard good things about. even if you only end up reading three chapters, thats still something new youre giving your brain. documentaries are also great for this if you're not feeling a new book; sit back and learn something.

CLEAN UP YOUR ENCLOSURE. humans feel yucky when we're in a yucky environment. cleaning is often exhausting and annoying and it sucks, but so is sitting in an environment that makes you feel bad. try clearing off your desk or table. set something nice you like nearby! choose a sunny spot to work in.

TALK YOUR IDEAS OUT. i really struggle with this one, because i dont like bothering people and im really embarrassed about my ideas, especially in the planning stage. it can really help though! try talking to yourself in the shower like you're being interviewed about your work. try going on some chat site, find a stranger to talk to, and infodump until they leave (or stay and you've made a new friend!). ask around for someone who wants to chat ideas; you can share yours, they can share theirs. if you have a loved one who would listen, ask if they would sit down for 45 minutes and let you talk.

LIMIT DISTRACTIONS. this one also sucks but yknow. turn on forest: stay focused. close discord. ask your dog politely to stop barking. get off tumblr and stop writing advice posts about writers block. turn on some ambient music and rain noises or chappell roan's red wine supernova on loop.

may add to this later as i think of others, but the point here is that writer's block isn't laziness and, even if you do in the end just need to write, there are ways to uplift yourself and make doing so more pleasant. these also dont fully apply to what i think the actual cause is of what we often call 'writer's block,' which is just exhaustion and lack of free time; i wouldn't consider that in itself writer's block. these tips are more for when you have that time, or you're making it, but you just cant seem to make it happen.

[rey-jake-therapist]

Fandom and misogyny (spoiler Endless Nights)

I never cease to be appealed by the way some people will constantly find a way to dogpile on female characters, most often for no valuable reasons.

Take Killala of the Glow, in Endless Nights for example: this morning I woke up reading a post that said, "Dream and Desire used to be best friends, it's so sad they're strangers now, I spent an entire day cursing that BITCH Killala for cheating on Dream and ruining the good relationship he had with his sibling. She did them both so wrong!"

I read Endless Nights entirely (not just the excerpts that circulate online) so my eyes popped out when I read that, a bit like this:

Just because it is, you know.... it's a lie! Or at least, it is one, partially: it's true that Killala dumped Dream for another immortal being - Sto-Oa aka the Sun, no less, - who seduced her that day, but who started this, hmmm? No, not Dream's who didn't do anything wrong this time, it's someone else, search better....

It's THEM, Desire, yeah! They're the one who had fun pushing Killala in Sto-Oa's arms, and who made fun of Dream afterwards and didn't understand why he was upset!

I think maybe people forget how powerful Desire are? They are also the one who, eons later, would canonically cause Nada's infatuation for Dream and probably Dream's for her, because they knew it was forbidden for an Endless to love a mortal and wanted Dream to be caught in the act of wrongdoing...

Also, a bit of context is important here: Killala wasn't Dream's long time queen, she had just met him in her dreams a few days ago. Ok, it doesn't make cheating better, but she said herself to Destiny she wasn't sure she loved Dream yet. And once again, it was Desire who orchestrated the whole thing, as seen in this panel:

I wonder how come it's rarely pointed that he would repeat exactly the same trick eons later with Nada: he made Nada want Dream after she saw him in a dream, then made his lonely brother want Nada, because she wanted him and he was flattered by this attention.

Coming back to the subject, Endless Nights, it seems to me that Desire's intent was ALWAYS to mess with them -Dream and Killala -, because they wanted to have fun at their brother's depends!

And I genuinely believe they didn't think Dream would react so badly: nothing is serious for Desire, who lives only for the moment. How could they imagine it would be so serious for Dream, and that he would hold a grudge for so long?

Let's see a bit of context:

When we meet Killala, she has just met Dream - she tells Desire Dream visited her in a dream "some days ago"- doesn't know him much and isn't even sure she loves him. It doesn't excuse cheating on him, but I think it's fair to assume than it this story, it's more Dream's ego than his heart which was hurt. All he does after catching her in the act is telling the young Sol she will find her way home, and that her new lover will probably transport her. If he's big mad at Killala, he does a really great job at hiding it. At the end of the story, it is said by Sol's son - who tells the story to his own son - that Killala eventually died, but at no point it's suggested that Dream caused her death.

Another interesting fact to put the situation back in its context:

Killala has a little chit-chat with Destiny, Dream's big brother and the oldest of the Endless. He asks her if he loves Dream (she doesn't know, thinks she does) and tells her that "a millennia from now", the Endless will be forbidden to love mortals and that her case in particular will be heavily discussed:

Why though? It's often believed that the drama with Killala caused the "no romance with mortals" rule, but Destiny says it would be decided a millenia after Killala's era so frankly, it's doubtful that her fallout with Dream caused this.

However, it occurred to me that it may be the tension between Dream and Desire, caused by Killala cheating on Dream with Sto-Oa, that was discussed. Think about it: Dream and Desire probably worked together before Desire did that "joke"... After that day, they worked AGAINST each other, or at least Dream looked down on Desire's realms and Desire hated him for it. I don't think that Dream having a failed romance with Killala had any influence on the universe per se, but isn't it very likely that the shift in Desire and Dream's relationship did? 🤔

Another reason could be that Sol, the future sun that would shine on Earth, wanted the not yet created mortal humans to look like Killala, who he found very beautiful.

Who knows if Dream didn't have a negative reaction to this idea, and caused the higher instances to decide that it was better for him and the other Endless to not have romanced with mortal beings who liked the woman who had previously hurt one of them? All speculation of course, since we don't know much about this "no romance with mortals" rule after all, but it's so fun to speculate!

But I digress (bless Tumblr for the absence of text limit!). The subject of my post was the misoginy which Killala of the Glow, among other female characters in The Sandman, were subjected to by a part of the fandom. Don't get me wrong: what she did to Dream was very bad, cheating is wrong! But let's not accuse her of "separating the siblings" while:

1) she was surely under Desire's influence (see the screenshot below: Desire was watching her and Sto-Oa engage in a discussion, smirking),

2) the only one who can fairly be accused of doing that was one of the siblings themselves, Desire, when they decided to make fun of their sibling by humiliating him.

3) Also I'd argue that if Dream was entitled to be angry at his sibling - it was a very bad joke... - he should have moved on after a while.

Fun fact, by the way: Dream was disappointed by Killala's change of heart, but he didn't seem angry at her, and he let her go. He even understood immediately what really happened and Desire's influence! That's why he directly went to Desire after he caught her kissing another man. It was Desire's actions that hurt him, way more than Killala's, because he valued his sibling's affection and considered him his favorite sibling.

But sure, let's blame the blue skinned lady for not being able to resist the manipulations of an immortal being, who's got exactly that kind of power. Let's just do that! 😒

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Hi again! More short replies. The majority is related to our latest posts, but not all of them…

About Azul/Jamil comic from yesterday:

Anonymous asked:

"Long live the king or whatever..." *sounds of an octopus tumbling down a flight of stairs*

Awww poor octopus~  I wonder if Azul’s octopus form suffers too if his human form breaks a couple of limbs 😭

thestarlightfae asked:

Rip Azul. What did Jamil do to him to make him sulk?

F in the chat for our boy Azul

To answer your question: not sure! I’d say that he just refused him for 1000th time, but Azul is surprisingly good at handling rejection from Jamil (it’s his “sure sure, keep playing hard to get” mentality). But then again, maybe Jamil really was too harsh this time…

About Ruggie and leonut:

thestarlightfae asked:

Omg! Ruggie is adorable with his leonut!!!!!

Anonymous asked:

I LOVE RUGGIE DRAWING SO MUCH HE SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE I ADORE THIS MAN ALWAYS

Wahhahqhwhhwhehehejkwskjs

Thank you so much!! <3 I am very happy you like him.

Ruggie is such a rare guest in our blog, but he really is adorable and deserves nothing but good things.

About the Jade/Vil massage comic:

Anonymous asked:

JADEVIL?! truly blessed to live in a time where I can see JadeVil

HHEHE YES I can’t believe we haven’t posted anything proper with them yet and didn’t even have a tag for them… this is a good ship 💪

Anonymous asked:

OMG, Ryu, you gave me a heart attack as soon I saw Jadevil on your feed!! I'm so happy you guys ship, too 🫶🏼 I love it, thanks for the food 🙏🏻

Please enjoy your food, Anon! Thank you so much for liking it!! <3

Both of the tweels have interesting dynamics with Vil, both separately and together, so I’m happy to explore Jade and Vil together hehe.

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for the women. They have me gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

(related to stuff from our 🔑🔞 acc)

You are very welcome, Anon, and thank you so much for enjoying them!!! 😭 I feel a bit weird when I post nothing but girl smut for a long period of time, so it’s very encouraging and frankly amazing to see you getting feral over them lol

Anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity, were any of your other drawings inspired by asks you received?

To be honest, I can’t remember anything major… But I am very bad at remembering my own drawings, so maybe it’s just my memory thing.

Sometimes I get carried away when I write a reply and start thinking “damn this sounds fun” and then months later end up drawing it, completely forgetting that it was a hc from a list or something like that…

But also sometimes I draw a new ship and start remembering how Anon asked about this ship ages ago and I replied “nah don’t ship them” or “nothing against it but we don’t care much” back then lol I think it happened with Ace/Riddle and Trey/Vil, for example.

Anonymous asked:

[shroudswap anon] of course it's fine with me, if anything i'm honored! i would love to hear any ideas you have on it!! :] one aspect of it that i think about: do you think ortho would receive a subtle sort of... disdain from STYX? because idia is this once-in-a-lifetime genius, and ortho is just... above average. so who knows what idia would've made and been capable of if he hadnt died, and this whole thing WAS orthos idea.... this subtle air of "it should've been you" to rub it in. thots?

I’m happy to hear that, Anon! <3 I’ll definitely come back to this idea again once I figure out how I want to draw it.

Also oof, good question. I feel like Ortho would definitely feel like this is how people feel about him, like they would be nice to him and all, but him being worse than Idia is such a huge elephant in the room that no one could realistically ignore. There could probably be some people in S.T.Y.X. who genuinely blame Ortho for what’s happened with their precious prodigy, but the overall consensus would probably be that this was an accident, Ortho was still very young, and that they shouldn’t blame him. This is partially because Ortho is seemingly everyone’s little sunshine, and people would probably feel bad for him.

But! Once again, Ortho would absolutely feel like they just don’t truthfully express how they really feel about him. To him it’s 100% objective truth: it should’ve been him, and everyone knows that even if they act like they don’t agree. He doesn’t have as much to offer as Idia did and he can’t achieve half of the things Idia could have…

The angst just keeps getting more and more potent huh

Anonymous asked:

politely hands you the idea of the tweels nonconing epel…i’m also curious if you think azul would ever join in on the twins…playing…with someone in any way

Anonymous asked:

tweel x epel anon, i hope i’m not coming across as requesting anything i just want to share the idea sharing is caring

No worries, Anon, it does feel like you’re sharing, and I appreciate you sharing~ ;3

Epel is a very good victim for such a scenario; even know he knows that he shouldn’t do it, somehow he ends up fucking around and finding out… so the tweels could definitely play with him.  He would be a delightful little toy~

But when it comes to Azul, I feel like he would only be present if the whole thing was his idea initially + he is very interested in the victim. Otherwise to him it’s just his rabid hounds terrorizing a piece of meat to keep themselves entertained. It’s mostly their own business I think 🤔

[not-terezi-pyrope]

How did you get into AI (and maybe compsci more generally)? I'm curious in part to know more about your background, but also because I'm interested in getting into it as well

Huh, big question.

Well, I got into compsci via programming and pretty young. I mean, I was always interested in computers as that's the field my dad works in and his excitement for games and hardware transferred. I was particularly into source engine games from his influence, which lead to me being super obsessed with Garry's Mod when I was 10, and when I was 11-12 ish I discovered the "wiremod" logic mod for that, and was instantly entranced building robots and mini-computers in game. Initially that was by hooking up discrete logic gates, but then I discovered that there was an entire full-featured programming language built into the mod as well, and teaching myself that while playing the game after school was how I learned to program.

I wanted to take that to some non-gmod contexts as well, and so I learned a bit of Java via "Greenfoot", which was/is(?) a library and web community for building little 2D Java games, popular with kids and teens. I actually won an iPod in a Greenfoot coding contest when I was 13. I carried that interest in programming through school, where I did computer science at GCSE and AS levels, then after a brief foray at studying film for less than 6 months, picked up programming as a proper hobby again when I was 19, and went to do a Computer Science degree because I was transparently so much better at programming than I was any of my arts stuff, lol. It's uniquely compelling and fits right in my brain the way nothing else does.

The AI interest mostly comes from fiction, again from pretty young. Portal (another source engine game) was one of my favourite games as a teenager, and I spent a while in Garry's Mod building my own automatons and autonomous robots, and creating wiremod bots that could talk in chat, respond to commands, do some basic statistical language analysis, pretty much figuring it out just off the top of my head.

That interest in artificial intelligence lead to me following the field pretty loosely for a while, and I discovered transhumanist thought in my late teens, and was interested in simulating cognition more specifically as it related to subjects like mind uploads, but I didn't get super into AI as a discipline until I discovered the first online GPT-2 demo in 2018 and read the associated papers. I was like, "oh, fuck. This is like nothing we've ever had before, this is going to change the world, I am fascinated by this and I should try to get in on this now". That lead to me focusing on AI for my undergraduate thesis and then later for my master's degree. I would be working in AI now, if I hadn't entirely failed to find any good roles, and also, if I am honest, if the online conversation around and backlash to LLMs and so forth hadn't soured a lot of my initial enthusiasm, which makes it hard to stay fully up to date with the field. My current job is more general IT work with some programming sprinkled in.

Because the sad thing is I was absolutely right, three years before anyone outside of computer science noticed, in predicting that attention transformers were going to completely upend the tech field and how we interact with computers. What I got wrong in my naivety was thinking that people would respond to that in a good way. Instead it's mostly been distrust and revulsion, which in some respects is understandable, and in others is really sad, especially given the potential that was and is still there. But I worry that this idea that AI is the domain of conniving capitalist techbros is fast becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy as everyone who genuinely cares about social issues (I count myself among them) is driven by an almost overwhelming tide to divest themselves from anything that has the whiff of a neural net about it.

I am at least partially resisting for now.

[wisteriasymphony]

adrien making any sexual relationship a prostitution dynamic is something i never thought about but it makes so much sense. is his love language gift-giving or does he only hide behind that sort of label because he thinks no one wants to have sex with him for the sake of it, because they actually enjoy his company without ulterior motives (i rly like thinking abt this even tho i sound incoherent rn i think maybe only claudia would have sex with him without wanting anything💀 atleast in tweos au?) also luka as joker.....the implications are something alright 😭

It's partially gift-giving, but more in the sense that he likes helping his s/o where they need it the most. ...And when you're one of the richest idiots in Paris, most of the time the one thing they need more than you is money.

Going a bit into a Marxist analysis of the Cannibalism Chapter , Adrien is conditioned to see himself as a resource first and person second. This is why being eaten alive is so tantalizing to him—it's the distribution of his "value" to those who are more worthy of it. (Actually, his interest in it is multifaceted, but I'll leave that for its own silly post.) So, this willingness to provide financially is an extension of that same desire. He finds that the pinnacle of his worth as a person is what others can exploit him for, as that is what he was raised to believe by his (exploitative) parents.

That kind of bled into your second guess as to why he would unconsciously hookerify his partners, but I do agree that that is also true—He has plenty of insecurities regarding people appreciating him for who he is. He has horrible abandonment issues and has felt unloved in most of his interpersonal relationships, so he will leverage anything he can if that means his partner won't leave him. This is why he hastily regifts Marinette's pastries to Claudia in Chapter 55: Not only has he been using his money to bribe Claudia into maintaining their relationship (before the breakup, that is), but now he's doing it with food, something that he knows Claudia has trouble getting. Chapter 55 is actually so good for showing off a taste of Adrien's more manipulative habits. Like with the prostitution thing, his intentions are... pure-ish? But it's still kind of scummy and pathetic, and I like when his flaws get to shine.

Also if Claudia wasn't so caught up in her reluctance to rely on others (because accepting gifts is, in her mind, what leads to people asking things from you in return), she would 100% be willing to continue the relationship even if it was solely financially driven. She does appreciate Adrien's company on its own, and she does genuinely care for him... but her issue with the dynamic is actually more that accepting money puts her in a "debt" to him and she doesn't like where that could lead. This was the intended implication of her Ch49 spiel to Karra, and later fleshed out in her conversation with Chat in Ch55, but I'll be more explicit about it in the future now that it's brought to my attention. Especially when they're finally honest about these insecurities and talk it out like they should. I had a few scenes in mind where this would play out, but they were written with a different trajectory for the story in mind so they might not work anymore. Oopsies

@nocturnal-notes b/c the lore and analysis :3 eat up pookie

[pearcethinks]

genloss episode 3 has me genuinely flabberghasted. /pos

genloss spoilers below

Find the founder, Kill the founder

you remember that, right? from the early videos on the youtube? well, hetch, the guy who claimed to try and 'help' ranboo? hetch mentioned about how the founder runs this all. and what im guessing is at the end of episode three, when its shown that it was on a tape recorder. that person that grabbed it? what if thats the founder. or is that the next person that will be taken here? generation 2? for all we know, this could be anyone.

ALSO. notice how squiggles came back in episode three ONLY at the end. when there was real content. when the show was able to go on. squiggles is part of this. we knew that, but still.

CHARLIES STREAM. i watched through it, and i believe someone in chat said that the wingdings said something about the colors, and blah blah you blah, i dont remember and was unable to decode the wingdings myself. What i did do was try and go to the video that charlie played. and i did get to it! as of writing this, posted 12 hours ago. 2-3pm eastern time! incase its important

that ending. where ranboo died. did he even die? i doubt it. either he didnt die or they died but are going to be brought back for generation 2. the show must go on. we have seen people die and come back. charlie. he died but came back next episode.

notice how the one time ranboo DOESNT listen to chat, everything goes wrong. like- literally EVERYTHING. but what if they did listen to chat? would it keep going as them being controlled?

the mask turned on and off at the end, but also that could be because of the mask malfunctioning. but also, he asked to die. he wouldnt do that, showfall media wanted him dead. while the mask was partially broken, it literally had a hole in it and you could see their mouth partially, ranboo was not acting himself still. ranboo was being controlled the entire time. hetch was part of showfall media. maybe the founders right hand man. great at manipulation. even if ranboo could make his own choices, hetch convinced him to keep the mask on. to stay in there. to 'save everyone' although it saved noone.