#pain that felt avoidable at the time
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OH NOOOOOO I now get the significance of Ylfa seeing a little figure in a red cloak in the preview
#neverafter#dimension 20#neverafter spoilers#d20#live reaction#d20 neverafter#dimension 20 neverafter#she’s going to have to be the wolf in her story#she’s going to have to be the wolf to another version of little red#and cause them or maybe herself??? so much pain#pain that felt avoidable at the time#ahhhhhhh the superior storytelling but at what COST#little red riding hood#ylfa snorgelsson#Emily AXFORD#she can see where this is going too#catch me peeping through my fingers#ylfa is right psychological damage hurts the worst#because I am not like jumping out of my skin scared but I am so so worried for her#the trials of baba yaga#neverafter the trials of baba yaga#edited#updated: omg it’s her grandmother#that hug was so sweet
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when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible
#sorry even if theyre hot my first thought will always be 'cop' and it kills all desire#slams head thru wall#vi arcane i want to love u so bad......but i look at u and see COP and its over for me 😐#and her cop gf 😐😔#before anybody gets mad at me im just sad 😔 shes great otherwise like she fits my fave types but this wall is insurmountable#she grew up in the SLUMS and they make her an ENFORCER??? die#she was wrongfully imprisoned for like a decade and they make her an enforcer 😐😐😐😐#after finishing arcane i went to read her lore 😐#felt so Liberal 😐😔 weh weh both sides bad type beat#girl its not too late please dont be a cop and cait pls leave the force PLEASE i cant defend you like this#anybody else trapped in this torture prison abt her or is it just me please tell me im not alone in this#every time i see her on my dash it pains me so much like physically mentally....#its ok at least i have my other vi who fights ex military with her gf to avoid becoming soldiers in a pointless war :) blink blink#it speaks#only posting this bc i need to know who else is suffering over this.............. it cant just be me
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The thing that really strikes me about being trans is that like. You can't know until you know. Like there's this festering wound inside you from being forced into a category that doesn't fit, but when you hear trans people talk about it you're like "we'll I don't have a festering wound so I can't be trans". It's like, I could talk about the intersection of trans issues and disability issues for hours, but it minds me of how chronic pain can often manifest. If it's built up over a long time you become so accustomed to it that you don't recognise it as pain. Or like not noticing you're struggling with executive dysfunction and are neurodivergant because you have been all your life. And then you take speed at a party and you can magically send emails.
For me, the hardest part about being non binary wasn't realising it, coming to terms with it, coming out, or the ongoing misgendering I deal with. It was that period just after I accepted it when I was suddenly flooded with all this joy, because this weight I'd been carrying my whole life had just been lifted, and it was beautiful, but it hurt, because I shouldn't have had to carry that weight all these years.
#i felt a similar thing after i got diagnosed with autism as well#like that time I cried in the kitchen for an hour because i realised i could just be kind to myseld#that I'd spent all these years trying to force myself to not be autistic and it had hurt so much#and in both scenarios the joy was beautiful but i was BODIED by the realisation that id been in so much avoidable pain#like theres this rage and grief that comes with that#that exists in tandem to what at the time was the most intense joy id ever felt
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pondering. how hilde felt picking up drk. one of emet's canon classes. did it feel familiar... did he feel some measure of embarrassment when he didn't perform well enough. when fray would get upset with him did he instinctively shut him down because he would expect someone else to nag. someone who he could not even begin to put a name or face on, it just feels like something... innate. this reflex to bite back defensively when he messes up while watched by someone more skilled than him in something. he's not prideful by nature but something within him just pushes him to have some sort of ego when it comes to this in particular
& how he felt when entering ktisis hyperboreia & here emet, "great sorcerer of eld", expected black mage, goes & conjures his weapon of choice for the occasion - a greatsword he's putting to use to protect his party members with the power of the darkness within, though he wouldn't readily admit to it
#ffposting#hildemet#yeah im thinking yea. u could say that i am contemplating.#the lore might be changing a bit again. nothing too major just which points where emet makes his presence known#like in his mind. possible that by the time hilde goes back in time he hasnt been able to sense emets presence#or communicate with him for a bit so hes experiencing all of it on his own as the game intends#yeah im engineering this for it to be as painful as possible for him. to see what it is it felt he'd forgotten#only to see it be emet's turn to forget someone - something so important to him#& he can do nothing about it. can't run to him & explain everything again. & he sure can't talk to present day emet abt it#bc present day emet is presumably back in the aetherial sea (he is but also not. mostly dormant & building energy back up)#elpis truly made hilde feel so hopeless & like. he Really felt the effects of Dissociative Disorder. & past life shit.#made him feel so fragmented. which he is. & everything he wanted within his grasp felt like itd long slipped from him#& hes supposed to just go back & save the world now. i can tell you one thing & its that ardbert did a lot of latter half edw#hes had emets soul (or part of it. to avoid unpleasant side effects) within him since post seat of sacrifice... & now its like hes gone#but he also never fully truly believed it was actually emet there. he figured hed just. made him up. worst factive split#it was weird. emet was clearly himself but hilde has trouble trusting his judgement ... & is used to his brain doing weird shit#ahhh anyway. yeah. drk is soo fun for him haha (takes long drag from fake cig)
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Taylor is having fun reworking her own songs to fit her current feelings and I love that.
SAME!!!
I’m not one that says that “omg she can’t play this song anymore because it means x or is about y” for the most part. I think there are *some* songs that probably feel very heavy/personal/fraught that she may avoid, but I think for the most part, even/especially the love songs, she eventually has enough distance from the experiences to make them about the performances, if that makes sense. Like, eventually they just become (fun) work. That’s what performers do.
THAT BEING SAID, I love how deliberate she’s being with the mashups, precisely because she CAN pick and choose what she pairs together to tell another story! It must be so fun to find a new outlet. Like sure, she can write new songs (and I’m sure she is lol) but now she can take old ones and create entirely new narratives! It must scratch such an itch in her brain and then also give those songs new meanings.
#anonymous#surprise songs#like what I meant is that even most of the ouchie songs become fun songs over time#obviously you can often tell how she feels on stage eg last year#and stuff hurt#but like how atw was ouchie for years and now it’s like the crowning moment of her show#or how the events of wcs were so painful she avoided dear John for years but now uses wcs to read men for filth#time curious time etc reworks the songs for her#like how Ivy/ciwyw last year probably felt a lot different than they did today#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey
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why is horror so brainrot. is it just that my brain gets consumed every time i watch something new? i feel like it's different with horror. maybe because i'm less happy about having my mind consumed like this. i didn't mind at all when i got super into sonic the hedgehog. still love those guys. but i've been watching playthroughs of slay the princess all day and i'm now regretting it. this is taking me out the way madoka magica took me out. maybe it's the philosophy? i know what brainrot feels like. i didn't really want to know what brainrot felt like. i feel like every time i acquire brainrot about something i am unhappy about it. yall are so passionate and amazing and i am suffering. whyyy. ughhhh.
#how do you get good brainrot#how do you stop acquiring bad brainrot#does the good brainrot feel bad too?#is that why we call it brainrot?#is brainrot always so. painful? consuming?#is passion a scary thing?#i love fanartists. i love looking at your art and reading fics#but are you in pain while you make it?#does it feel uncontrollable?#are you being compelled? are you obsessed? do you feel insane?#does it hurt?#maybe this is because it's 3am. maybe i need to calm down.#but god am i nervous about that. slay the princess IS horror#i typically try to avoid horror#it's so intense. not good for me#but i tend to fall into it occasionally. it's so bad#the stories are so good sometimes!! what am i supposed to do?#and now like. am i going to be able to sleep?#the weird thing is this one hasn't felt that scary for most of the time i've been watching.#but sometimes that doesn't matter. gets delayed. like fnaf. not scary while you watch but scary when you try to go to bed.#ughhhhhh this is awful. i wish i could go to sleep calmly. safely. peacefully.#i wish i could put this out of my mind#i'm worried i won't be able to#maybe typing up this post will help? maybe it'll get the thoughts out and then i'll be okay#my head hurts. i'm tire#tired. im tired.
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#i've thought here and there (sometimes a lot more than here and there) about changing my name for like 8 years#and idk maybe it is time! maybe it's something to actually consider if i've been actively avoiding considering it for so long#my name now isn't like. particularly meaningful. it was basically just There when i came out as trans#and my feeling towards it was honestly just relief at feeling like i didn't have to make a decision myself#but there are 2 that have both been on my mind this entire time#i've had my current name for 10 years. legally for 9. and it was only like a year after that that i was like hmmm#but even if it wasn't already changed legally i was SO averse to anything that could have possibly been seen as wavering or uncertainty#i came out 10 years ago at 17 and i had to really dig my feet in to get my family on board enough to start transitioning soon as i hit 18#and i felt like being Certain and not showing Any hesitation would make other ppl see me as more legitimate#so no going through multiple names#and then also the Hassle it's just such a pain doing all that legally#idk maybe i just wouldn't bother. just tell everyone in my life that this is the deal now but i'm not bothering w legal documents#idrc about people calling me a different name in medical / official settings as long as it's not incongruous w my gender#or maybe i would do it eventually legally. i've wanted to change my last name the whole time too
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Just wanted to say I love your MattDrai "Hurricane" fic and I'm excited for the next update!! But until then I'm happy just rereading it because I really do enjoy it a lot :)
Oh my gosh thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying Hurricane - especially with that year and a half gap between updates 🤣 It's very exciting to hear from someone that reads my Hockey RPF - I know The 1975 has kind of taken over all of my plot bunnies at the moment - but Hockey RPF was my first love and I still have SO MANY feelings about MattDrai. When I found out that Matty BROKE HIS STERNUM and then CONTINUED TO TRY AND PLAY I just sat there. I was like this is not real life, this is the plot of a fic. Then a whole bunch of very talented people wrote about it and it made me very happy to read, AND I'm now even more happy to see that he is on the mend IRL.
Anyway, I'm hoping to have an update for ya soon! The next chapter is about 75% ready for the world hopefully later this week or early next week it'll be able to get it posted. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind message!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#hurricane#mattdrai#hockey rpf#matthew tkachuk x leon draisaitl#matthew tkachuk rpf#leon draisaitl rpf#matthew x leon#i was also a little mad at matthew for a minute there#i am actually a die hard bruins fan#and he kind of destroyed them in the first round#so i was pissed off and avoiding hockey for a bit there#and obviously had a hard time writing a fic where he is the main character#however then he got hurt and i felt bad#he looked so sad#also i cant even iMAGINE the pain
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“Hold out your arms and imagine strings underneath them, pulling you up.”
“Like a puppet,” Nine says.
“Like an actor in a show,” Five answers, glowering. “Rising up above the stage. Graceful.”
remembered an old sketch from years ago (i think 2018 or thereabouts? it's been a while) and dug it up, so have a five! the imagery of him flying by pulling invisible strings in the air really stuck with me and i love it, and it was a lot of fun trying to get that across. i really do need to sit down and try to draw him in this style again soon; in the meantime i'm proud of this one, so here you go.
#lorien legacies#LL number five#LL tag#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby draws#visual art#LL number nine#dyn: lost boys#posting this partly because i felt like it was time and partly to make myself feel better#was already not feeling great this evening and then was reminded that 90% of the visual content i've ever seen of him has been really#really aggressively skinnywashed and it hit me a lot harder than usual; which is. saying something#given the level & kind of significance his bodytype has in his narrative; & in ways that are especially raw & painful to me personally#i try to ignore it usually but it's near impossible to avoid and god damn that shit hurts#sometimes the best i can do is just reassure myself that he's fat. and that's true and important and it means something.#and i need to put more of it out there if i can#anyway. boy
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i know it’s selfish of me to want people to reach out first or like generally because people have lives, they’re busy, they’re dealing with their own shit, maybe they just don’t think to even keep in contact, etc etc but that doesn’t make it hurt any less or make me feel any less unwanted when it feels like half the people i thought were my friends don’t seem like they think of me as their friend.
#whimsy whispers#idk I think it’s made worse because like while I’m not busy not I use to work and be busy and still tried to create time to keep in contact#with people and like I struggle reaching out to people and keeping in contact but despite that for a while I like consistently tried to keep#in contact with people and message them daily even though I felt like I wasn’t wanted and was being annoying but like as you can see I’ve#since stopped that because like the feeling of bothering people only got worse especially when it felt like I was the only person trying to#keep in contact anymore#I know I shouldn’t expect or hope for people to go out of their way and comfort zone to talk to me and make me feel wanted or to prove that#they (still?) care about me but like I just don’t know what my role in peoples lives are anymore like am I even your friend? do you want me#in your life do you even like me? it just doesn’t feel like it and like I don’t expect anyone to see this post and to reach out because of#it or feel anything other than annoyed that I’m making a vague post about what’s up in my life I know that’s now how this works#I also know people avoid me when I get this way but as it stands im not getting any better#or idk I’d like to think I am I wanna believe I’m not as upset as I could be but some days it’s just so painful and I feel so alone and#disposed of like it truly feels like whatever relationship I have with people isn’t anything#it’s nothing I’m nothing and nothing is going to change that nothing is going to change in general
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Ah fuck it's TOH finale anniversary apparently *the worst flashbacks you've ever seen*
#uh oh girl that means its my catastrophic breakup anniversary#which means its time to curl into a ball in a corner and cry#i avoided the show for 8 months afterwards because i used to watch it with him and he introduced me to it as well#so it was really soured for me and i would get stomach pain anytime id try to watch it#it felt like something you want to avoid forever. like a place where bad things have happened to you and you feel like just by visiting#that place that thing might come rushing at you again#i only managed to watch the finale when i convinced a friend to see it with me. i needed someone there to overshadow the bad#so i could think to myself 'this isnt a show you watched with him this isnt something that is him this is a show youre watching with your#friend right now. with your friend who is here and you can watch it together.'#but i still hate being reminded of the finale specifically and of the anniversary of it#like ah yes the day my whole life fell apart and i should have killed myself on the spot#i would be better off dead
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Careless Accidents
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you get hurt and jason’s pissed
warnings: reader’s wrist is accidentally sprained from being grabbed to hard
You could hear scuttling from somewhere else in the garden, an estate more than sizable enough than the game afoot.
You were under the distinct impression though that the bats and birds are playing with you similar to how they would a child. Slower, weaker, and less experienced than the big kids. You weren't complaining though. Because, frankly, it was stressful. They tend to operate more like they’re in a warzone than a game, you felt like you were about to be sniped out at any second.
Rightfully so, apparently, seeing how silently Stephanie had crept up on you.
“Hey,” Stephanie hissed, ignoring the way you jumped. “We’re doing alright for ourselves,” she said smugly.
“Yeah,” you’d nodded, like you agreed with her more than you probably did.
“Okay listen, I think the flag—” what flag? “—is by the fountain so, I think because there’s three of us and two of them, we should bait-and-switch.”
“We’re on teams?” you asked, no longer completely sure you know what you’re playing.
“We are now!” she smiled, starting to run. “I’ll bait!”
She stopped briefly in her tracks and turned back to you hissing, “Don’t trust Cass,” before scurrying away.
Rather than sit around and wait there for…something?...to happen, you jumped up darting in the opposite direction with little to no indication whether this is a good move.
What you didn’t see is Cass rapidly approaching from your rear.
What you also didn’t see was Dick crouched down in a row of shrubbery, which gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch your arm up and yank you down with him. You’d mewled a bit as your wrist made contact harshly with the grass, immediately buckling under you.
Cass was keen to your pain immediately, slowing her sprint to a stroll as she observed you.
“Are you okay?” she signs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
The response was instinctual and you didn’t actually have time to register whether or not you were okay by the time you gave it.
You pushed up on your elbows, trying to figure out whether Dick is even on your team, but the way the others approached had you halting consideration. They’re savvy to the situation at a speed in which you can only attribute to their vigilantism, looking at you with concern.
“You good?” Tim asked, approaching languidly.
“That looked like it hurt,” Cass commented, crouching down next to you to see your wrist better.
Dick shook his head, “No, she’s okay.” He turned to you, prodding, “You’re okay.”
“Yeah, I’m, um…” you winced, looking at your wrist. “It hurts a little.”
Cass examined it closely, tilting it gently to the side. “It might be sprained.”
Dick paled.
“No.”
Tim pointed a thumb back towards the manor, “We can get it wrapped upstairs.”
“No.”
You were only then able to clock the barely contained grin on Stephanie’s face, begging to break.
“Ooooh. He’s gonna kill you.”
Cass had then kindly offered to take you inside and wrap it up for you, which you accepted, unexpecting of the plus-one of Dick trailing behind you like a guilty puppy all the while.
“You know I didn’t mean to grab you that hard right? I—”
Cass laughs quietly as she wraps the bandage around your wrist, amused by Dick’s now-third explanation/apology for the incident.
“I know, Dick,” you say, trying to appease him.
“I’m sorry,” he tells you genuinely, but you can tell there’s more there that he isn’t verbalizing.
You nod, “I know, Dick. It’s okay. It was just an accident.”
Cass pins the wrapping in place securely and with a smile, signs to you that she’s all done.
You rotate your arm a bit, testing your movement under the wrap. As Cass leaves with the first aid kit, Dick remains sat at your side, leg thumping up and down.
He takes a deep breath, “What if…what if you avoid him until it heals?”
“Dick.”
He takes your uninjured hand in his with urgency in his eyes,
He looks down at your jointed hands before loosening his already mild grip significantly.
“Are you going to tell him?” he asks, looking like he’s bracing for bad news.
You shake your head sympathetically, “No. I can’t guarantee you that he won’t find out, but I won’t tell him.”
Dick takes a deep breath, looking at the ground with intense focus. “Okay. Okay.” He stands, “I need to go.”
You watch in amused bewilderment as he staggers out the door, looking around frantically.
Within the next few minutes, he creates and enacts his plan A. He walks into the living room, sitting down next to a very disinterested Tim, eyes forward and serious.
“I’ll give you two grand right now if you tell him it was you.”
Tim barks out, “Absolutely not.” He looks at his brother, still laughing. “No fucking way.”
Dick breaks the serious facade immediately, looking at him. “Five.”
A deadpan from Tim.
“You don’t have five thousand dollars.”
Dick throws his head back, back thudding against the couch. “Dude, please! He’ll kill me!”
Tim scoffs, “He’d kill me!”
Dick huffs, “No, it’s different for me! Do you have any idea how many times he told me not to do that?”
“Well then it sounds like you fucked up,” Tim sneers.
“Oh my God.”
He takes off again, combing through different rooms in the house with hope of finding a quick but effective hiding place for, say, the next twenty years?
He bursts through the study, unwittingly interrupting Bruce and Alfred having a discussion over tea.
The latter sits up with a tense brow, “Master Dick?”
The former turns around in his seat, “What’s the matter?”
Dick struggles for a second before confessing, “I accidentally sprained someone's wrist.”
Bruce scans his face slowly, nodding. “Alright…you’ll have to take responsibility for their patrol duties—”
Dick cuts him off with a sharp breath, “Said person doesn’t have any patrol duties to be affected...”
Bruce processes for a moment before shaking his head.
“I can’t help you.”
Dick’s panic takes over again, prompting him to continue his scurry through the room, towards the other door.
Alfred interrupts his process with a very logical argument, “You don’t think running away will make this worse, Master Dick?”
“I—I don’t know!” Dick whines, stopping in his tracks. “I don’t know what to do!”
Bruce purses his lips, gesturing, “Dick, when you make a mistake…you have to submit to the consequences, you know that.”
Dick gapes, “This is not a normal consequence!”
Meanwhile, you’ve busied yourself with fiddling with the knick knacks and mementos lining the shelves of Jason’s childhood bedroom.
You’re admiring a picture of him and Alfred from when he was young as the door creaks open behind you.
“Sweetheart?” Your boyfriend calls out, head barely poked in through the crack.
“Hey, Jay,” you smile, setting the picture frame back on the shelf.
He enters fully, covered in motor oil and grease, and smiles his sweet, easy smile when he sees you.
Moving onto the next trinket on the shelf, you pick up a stuffed animal placed intentionally at the front. Your gaze finds the mirror, watching his reflection as he pulls the stained shirt off his back.
You smile to yourself, noticing the way his back muscles flex as he adjusts. “How’s the bike?”
“Better than it was this morning,” he sighs. “Where’ve you been?”
He turns around to look at you, taking easy steps towards you.
You return the toy elephant to its place, moving to face him. “Uh, we were outside, playing…at least three separate games at once.”
The second you’re in proximity, your hands join like it’s second nature.
He nods, all too familiar with the family’s unique methods of gamefair.
“Did th—” He looks down at your intertwined hands, brow furrowing as soon as he spots the bandage wrapped around your wrist. “What happened?”
You glance down, shrugging. “Overexerted myself playing tag.”
He looks at you skeptically, but says nothing about it.
He turns your hand over gently, asking, “Is it sprained?”
You nod, relaxed. “Yeah. Cass said it’s mild.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“No,” you say, sweeping his hair back with your other hand. “Barely hurt then.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look satisfied with the conversation.
Regardless, he turns away again, shuffling through a drawer for a clean shirt.
“You, uh, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?” he asks, pulling his arms through, his head following.
“Yeah,” you say gaily. “Alfred said he’s making his ‘special spaghetti’, apparently it’s a household favorite?”
He wavers, halfway to between decisions. “Yeah…”
He huffs quietly, turning back to face you fully. “Can I see it?”
You nod, happy to ease his mind.
You start to unwrap the bandaging, him doing half the work for you. The work is done silently until your wrist is exposed, revealing your bruised skin.
You both see it at the same time—the hand-shaped bruise wrapped around your wrist.
You’re both quiet for a second—him putting pieces together and you waiting for the shoe to drop.
He takes off suddenly, clearly having come to a likely very accurate conclusion about what had happened.
“Fucking idiot—”
You try for his hand but he’s out of reach before you can grab it.
“I’ll be right back,” he grumbles behind him.
“Jason—” you sigh, “At least help me wrap it back up first.”
He hesitates, halfway to the door, ultimately returning to you in defeat. He takes your forearm gently, scanning it over again before beginning to wrap it.
You watch his face closely, noting the clear vexation. “It was just an accident,” you tell him.
He scoffs, “It better have been.”
You drop your shoulders and lull your head to the side. “Jason. I’m not made of glass, you can’t expect other people to act like it.”
“I don’t. I expect him to mind his own strength, and if he can’t do that, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself.”
You sigh, “Just don’t do anything harsh. Please. I think he’s worried you’re gonna punch him.”
“He should be,” he says shortly. He finishes off the wrapping, pinning it in place firmly.
You grab onto his forearm before he can pull away, “You’re not going to. Right?”
He doesn’t answer so you try to make his gaze meet yours, “Right?”
His eyes roll, “Yeah, fine.”
You smile, holding his face. “I love you.”
He huffs as though he’s inconvenienced, but confesses the obvious truth nonetheless. “I love you.”
He looks you in the eye, face serious. “You promise me it doesn’t hurt?”
“I promise,” you nod, brushing your fingers against his palm.
“Dick!”
The angry voice bellows through the tall halls of the manor, heavy footsteps thudding.
He stomps into the living room, Tim, Cass, and Stephanie watching the entryway with wide eyes.
“Where is he?”
Unwitting shoulders shrug and heads shake. Truthfully, at that. Dick, smartly, did not tell anyone where he was hiding.
Jason scans the trios faces, looking for any sign of apprehension.
He clocks the grin shamelessly plastered across his sister's face quickly. “Stephanie?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “But let me know when you find him, I wanna see—”
But Jason’s moving onto the next room before she can get the last words out.
He enters the dining room, looking right to left before finding his target, halfway to stuffing himself behind the fine china cabinet in the corner.
There’s a brief, tense moment in between where the pair realize what they’re seeing and when Dick sets off in a sprint towards the kitchen, Jason quick on his tail.
“Really? Really?” Jason shouts.
“It was an accident! It was a fucking—”
He narrowly dodges a swipe from Jason, then ducking before a ladle could make contact with his head.
“Are you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherf—”
Dick rounds the kitchen island as fast as possible, Jason testing him on the other side.
Dick takes a breath, “Dude, it’s fine now, it’s not that big of a—”
Jason recoils, “‘It’s not a big deal’? Come here. Let me sprain your wrist, asshole!”
He circles the counter quicker than the elder boy can think to move away and lunges at him.
Dick throws his hands up in front of him, “Wait, wait, wait! Truce! Truce! Truce?”
Jason drops his shoulders, leveling his older brother with a look. “You can’t call a truce if you’re the only one who did anything wrong.”
“I…” It doesn’t take him long to piece together that his defense makes no sense, so he resorts to his last option.
“Please?” Dick asks, nothing short of imploring.
Jason relents—slightly—upon hearing his brother's tone, but still finds it in him to shove him, though not nearly as hard as he’d been planning to.
“I told you a hundred fucking times not to grab her so hard—”
Dick nods heavily, waving a hand. “I know, I know—”
“Clearly you fucking don’t!” Jason shouts. He huffs, running a hand over his face. “You sprained her wrist. You’ve been doing this vigilante shit for fifteen years, how do you still not fucking know how to control your own strength?”
Dick grimaces, “I do! I do, I just screwed up, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t—” Jason narrowly holds back a scowl, “Did you apologize to her?”
“Yeah, of course I did!”
For a split second, Jason looks ready to keep arguing before purposefully dropping the anger from his body.
The resulting relief almost drowns Dick.
It only lasts a moment though, before Jason looks at him again, sneering, “Idiot,” before pushing him once more.
“Jason.”
Your voice has Jason dropping all turbulence in an instant. He and Dick both whip their heads towards the door, equally unexpecting of the interruption.
You tilt your head at your boyfriend with a knowing but disappointed stare.
He looks back at you like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lips parted.
“I didn’t hit him.”
⭐️ your options are: (1) reblog fics or (2) be a little bitch ⭐️
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#jason todd imagine#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x reader#red hood/you#red hood x you#red hood/reader#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc imagine#dc x reader#jason todd the doberman
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#personal#i'm so miserable#Broke my 7 year sh streak#I want to die so bad#I wish I could want to live#Everyday for months ive felt physically choked#I'll delete later maybe I just need to vent a little bit#Refusing to believe I'm at rock bottom because I just can't fathom returning to the same place I was at when I was 18#I had nothing to live for at that point and I was so fucked up#But I'm better now! Everything I wanted to do I've done!#I don't feel as useless and alone anymore#So why am I still here being violent with myself#I write rants to put on my Instagram and delete them#Bc I realized they were serving as suicide notes and final remarks to the people I've met#So extremely bitter#The answer to the earlier question is probably just to end the constant pain#I can't do it anymore#How many times have I said that#And then I do it anyways#And then I end up here all relapsed and fucked up#Negative#I kind of just feel like 90% of the time things have gotten “better” I've actually just been manic#Making and saying irrational stuff#It's funny though because I don't think I've ever set out deliberately hurt someone#I definitely have hurt people by accident and I try so hard to be on guard to avoid that#And I think that's part of the reason I turn to hurting myself instead#But I just find it funny how other people set out to deliberately hurt me for small petty reasons#And then feel terrible after so they come saying sorry but blaming it on their mental health that they've never even researched or looked at#Before they used it as an excuse#I'm out of tags but yeah like I'm suffering and constantly declawing myself for everyone around me but I have to grin and bear it
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My ankle journey
I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.
So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.
Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:
I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.
I went to:
A chiropractor
A podiatrist
A physical therapist
A bodywork coach
They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.
I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.
I went to her a week ago.
She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:
"Oh, it's your soleus."
Excuse me, what?
"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.
She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."
But I HAVE been stretching.
"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."
My mind is spinning.
So here are the muscles in question:
The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.
To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:
The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.
The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.
The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).
I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.
I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.
#massage therapy#soleus muscle#achilles tendon#bodywork#i am so mad i didn't go to her last winter#why did nobody else tell me this#physical therapy
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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— PCD (Pre Concert Dick)
Synopsis: The boys had a problem that badly needed a solution. It was getting out of hand and silicones simply wont do the trick anymore. What was this problem you ask? Boners.
Warnings: Idol!Seungcheol-Mingyu-Wonwoo x staff!reader, threesome, double penetration, oral (m receiving), dirty talk
The adrenaline rushes through their veins as they prepare for the stage. Everything was ready and set in place, all that's needed were the stars of the show. But the roles were reversed and it was the artists who was experiencing the technical difficulties.
A few members, namely: Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Mingyu, were experiencing problems. They all had a boner and it was stopping them from wearing their pants properly. The situation was laughable really, the trio was getting teased left and right but they were left to do nothing but groan in pain as their pants hung low. Turns out exercise, sex talks, and adrenaline was not a good mix to have before a concert.
A strict boundary is usually set between the artist and the staff in order to avoid any complicated relationships. But would that still be in effect if the situation required an urgent solution?
And that brings you to now: all fours facing Seungcheol, eagerly licking, sucking, and slobbering all over his dick, while Wonwoo and Mingyu stand behind you opening your holes up.
This wasn't your first time, and it shows. From your first month of working with them as their stylist, you'd already been touchy with some of the members—in mutual consent and understanding of course— and have had a few secret escapades with them, sometimes even having more than one member at a time. Mingyu specially had the hots for you. Cocky and confident as ever, winking and flirting with you during his fittings.
Wonwoo has two of his long and slim fingers inside you scissoring you open, savouring the view of your cunt gaping at him covering his fingers in your slick, while Mingyu was slowly jerking himself off, tapping his dick on your butt while lightly teasing your other hole with his thumb.
"Gonna be a good girl and take us in all three of your holes, hm baby?" Mingyu teases gripping your butt cheeks, slapping it hard that it leaves a handprint of his hand. You choke on Seungcheol's dick in reply eyes rolling the back of your head as he presses hard down your throat, smirking as he takes grip of your neck tightening it when he feels a bulge.
You already felt so full, and it's only been one dick. Wonwoo removes his fingers from inside of you, stunned by the string of clear and smily pre cum stretch on his fingers as he pulls away. Wonwoo motions his fingers like a scissor infront of the celling light, a sly smirk on his face, "Haven't even fucked you yet and you're already this bad," he says.
Seungcheol abruptly pulls out of your throat watching strings of saliva drip down from his dick and on your tongue, "Fuck. She's dripping all over." He says before thrusting back in, a tight vice around your hair.
Mingyu gives your pussy a few taps using his dick before finally entering you. Usually he'd tease you first by only thrusting with his tip before finally slowly pushing in, but you didn't had the time for that.
Not even a spare time to ajdust as he bottoms out, Wonwoo quickly follows completely stretching you out. You were being stretched all over with three thick dicks inside of you. If it wasn't for Seungcheol's thick dick occupying your mouth, you'd definitely be a moaning mess by now.
Seungcheol's dick was thick and big, a thickness you could only imagine to have had existed, it gave him many advantages, but also disadvantages as he was forced to fuck your mouth rather than your cunt because it'd be impossible for him to join in without proper size training.
Wonwoo and Mingyu had almost the same size, only that Wonwoo was less thick than Mingyu. Which is why the mix of two combined had you rolling your eyes to thr back of your head. Reaching you deep and stretching you thick.
Mingyu slowly starting to rut into you, spitting in between their cocks providing more lube to allow the stretch. Wonwoo could feel his dick physically get harder and harder at the feeling of another dick rubbing against his, the warm hug of your cunt, and his tip resting near the entrace of your womb making him leak pre cum more.
He starts to move soon when he realizes the reality of the situation. This wasn't happening in the hotel room but rather in the venues dressing room. They had their stage outfits on, make-up done, and they were doing this to have their pants fit them. Shit. The concerts starting in 30 minutes. They haven't even had their pictures taken yet.
He adjusts his hips the youngers movement, thrusting in at the exit of the other. And together they create a perfect rhythm of movements. Sweat dripping down their faces. Seungcheol throwing his head back as his movement begins to quicken, becoming desperate even, before finally cumming inside your mouth. Leaks of his cum drip down the side of your mouth as you were forces to swallow every drip of him.
Seungcheol pulls out while you still had your mouth tight around him during the process sucking him off clean. "Fuuck," He groans holding a grip of your hair, forcing you to look up at him when he rests his dick on your cheeks. You bite your lips and roll your head backwards when the two repeatedly hit your g spot with the the tips of their dicks.
"Open your bouth baby, let us hear you." Seungcheol mutters, pulling your lip from your mouth, and as you open it, screams of their fans erupt from the venue snapping the three back into reality.
Mingyu groans gripping your waist and slapping your ass, "Dirty, dirty, slut, letting idols fuck her in the middle of work while fans wait for them outside." He says pounding deeply into you.
You're left to do nothing but whimper and gasp, taking the two of them behind you. Clenching your cunt at their words of praises and insults, "Doing so good for us babe, just a few more. C'mon, I knoe you can do it. Be the slut that you are." Wonwoo pants, fondling with your tits.
"I'm cumming," You barely get it out before collapsing on the floor, hands giving up as you clench and cream all over them. Liquid spurts from your hole as you squirt, making the duo groan and moan when they cum with you.
Mingyu goes first, throwing his head back as he lets out a guttural moan, still slowly thrusting inside of you with his hands massaging your hips. Wonwoo follows quickly after, stilling inside of you, letting his cum deposit in you before pressing down hard inside inducing a loud moan from you.
He bends down and leaves kisses all over your back before sitting back up and slapping your butt causing you to clench around them, making them groan in the process.
"Well that was quite a show." Seungcheol chuckles, wiping yout face down with a tissue and making you sip water from a bottle.
"Told you doggys the best." Mingyu says, pulling out while Wonwoo follows, gaping your cunt to watch a mix of cum drip down out of you. "I still prefer the show I recieve during cowgirl." Wonwoo replies, placing his face right before your cunt after Mingyu moves away from watching the show.
"Gonna clean you up now baby, m'kay?" Wonwoo says, kissing your cunt, before licking your flaps to start, and sucking your cunt using his whole mouth.
Safe to say that you were gonna get both a raise and a bonus.
#seventeen#seventeen smut#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#seungcheol smut#scoups smut#choi seungcheol#choi seungcheol x reader#scoups#scoups x reader#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo smut#wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#kim mingyu#kim mingyu smut#kpop smut#kim mingyu x reader#kim mingyu fanfic#kim mingyu x you#mingyu#choi seungcheol x you#scoups x you#wonwoo x you#wonwoo fanfic#jeon wonwoo smut
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