#pacing myself this time like let’s be real i’ll go insane if i finish one

[aturnoftheearth]

wow these are all hozier except the last one. well. oh well

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 1: a tug

Warnings: PTSD, sadness, depression, panic attack, mentions of violence

Author’s note: this is part one of my series called “Burning Red.” This is kind of boring because it is a set up for the main storyline, but I hope you enjoy it! Any constructive criticism and support is greatly appreciated. And if I missed a warning, please let me know!!

After everything you���ve seen, everything you’ve done, everyone you’ve hurt, it felt good to just lay low.

A mechanic on tatooine was not what you imagined, but it did the trick.

No one saw you for who you truly were, and that made you happy.

Well, except for Peli.

You came to her sick and angry and alone, and she nursed you back to health. You would be rotting in the desert if it wasn’t for her, and you felt you owed her a little something.

So, you used your “uncommon” set of abilities to help her with her mechanics in any way she needed.

This included: cooking, cleaning, repairing, negotiating, and most importantly, defending.

Peli was no dummy. She knew you had more experience in that field than she did. So she recruited you, and paid you back with whatever she had laying around. A new outfit once and a while, a warm bed, a hot dinner, and a couple of credits so you could go shopping and get out of her hair.

You couldn’t blame her. You were a hell of a lot of trouble to be around.

Constant nightmares, paranoia, and regret surrounded your aura like a fog. Any normal person wouldn’t notice, but someone like Peli could. And it pissed her off a good majority of the time.

“Stop moping and help me clean this oil off my droid,” and sentences like this one, were said pretty frequently around your place.

Was it even your place? All you did was survive. Is that enough to say you lived there instead of just survived there?

You really liked Peli. She gave you a base. A “home” of sorts, and for that you were forever indebted.

But something in you always called you back to your real home, and that scared you more than Peli’s tough love. More than you could even describe.

~~*~~

It was a pretty normal day on Tatooine. The wind howled, the sand covered everything in its wake, and the heat. You would never get used to it.

You were eating your breakfast when a ship landed on the landing pad, and you could already tell it was a doosey just by the way the left engine was sputtering.

If this ship explodes, we better get a damn good pay, you think to yourself.

The ramp starts to open and you take that as your queue to start the walk to your makeshift room. It was really a storage room, but you didn’t mind.

When you get there, you squat down to the ground behind your door and grab your apron and set of tools. You knew Peli would need some help with this ship.

You hear the ship’s ramp hit he ground and you feel it.

A tug.

Not even a tug, a lurch. It felt like a rope had been tied to your soul and pulled you back into your old self.

This was a tug you hadn’t felt in so long. So long, it almost knocks you off your feet.

I closed myself off from this, you think. I shouldn’t feel this. I don’t want to feel this.

You already feel a headache coming on from the shock and ache in your bones, so you start walking back to the landing pad to tell Peli you aren’t feeling too well.

If I get recognized, we are both dead.

You’d rather get a scolding from Peli than a scolding hot gun wound in your chest.

“Hey,” you hear Peli shout at the client, and you pick up your pace. Your heart is hammering in your chest and you feel the panic ooz through your body.

It’s been so long since you’ve felt this, but you hate how it makes you feel alive.

You finally make it to Peli and you see her speaking very loudly (she doesn’t like to use the word “yelling”) at what seems to be your client.

But this is no ordinary client. This is a Mandalorian.

A very broad Mandalorian who, no offense to Peli, could knock her out in his sleep.

You had heard legends of their kind. But worst of all, you had fought them. And damn were they good.

You hadn’t seen any since the purge. You had heard rumors of them hiding under ground, but they had always been peaceful people. You hated how they got dragged into a war.

“You damage one of my droids, you’ll pay for it,” Peli says, and you really wish she would use a more peaceful tone.

The last thing you want to do right now is fight a very impressive looking Mandalorian covered entirely in beskar while your entire body is tingling.

Is he the one who is force sensitive?

“Just keep them away from my ship” he says, and you are surprised at how well he is taking Peli’s annoyance.

“Yeah? You think that’s a good idea?” Peli responds in a tone dripping with sarcasm and you take this as your moment to try to sneak away.

This however, was unsuccessful.

“Come on y/n. Let’s take a look at his ship,” she says and the Mandalorian turns his helmet towards you.

You probably look like an absolute mess. Your chest is heaving, you are sweating, and you are not at all prepared to do any sort of repairs. You are basically in your pajamas. The Mandalorian’s gaze has you nervous enough, but this familiar feeling in your stomach has you dizzy and nauseous.

Just hold on......

You start to follow Peli to the ship while still looking at the Mandalorian. You learned very early on in your life to never take your eyes off a predator. He follows your form and you try your best to mask his incredibly strong force connection gripping your chest.

This man isn’t even trying to hide it? It’s almost as if he is reaching for me?

You make it to Peli where you finally take your eyes off of him. You can see why Peli was so mad now.

“Oof! Look at that,” she says as she scans the ship with her eyes. “You’ve got a lot of cabron scoring up top. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in a shoot out.”

Oh my God, he was in a shoot out.

This is really not good. This man could have been followed and you could be surrounded at this very moment. You were a skilled fighter, but those kinds of odds were almost unbeatable. Especially when you were still trying to hide your identity.

You are so tense you feel like you could snap. You still feel his eyes on you, and you are praying to whatever is out there that you can just stay alive. That’s the only thing you’re good at.

“Name’s Peli Motto. That’s y/n,” she says as she points to you with her wrench.

She did not just tell him your NAME.

“This is my operation. You’re not gonna find a better mechanic on the planet,” she says as she leaned in closer to the engine.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to rotate that. You’ve got a fuel leak. Look at this, this is a mess. How did you even land?”

All you wanted to do was scream.

He is a MANDALORIAN who was just in a SHOOT OUT. He is probably being FOLLOWED and we could be dead because of ME.

“That’s gonna set you back,” she says.

She is concerned about MONEY right now?

Peli is a smart woman, but she was walking you into a trap. You didn’t want her blood on your hands. You didn’t need any more of that.

All of this is happening while you are still on the verge of a panic attack.

This Mandalorian is strong with the force. It is squeezing your lungs and your feet and your hands and your brain. All rational thinking is out the window. You had to get out of here before he manages to suffocate you.

God you hate this feeling. A few years ago you lived with this constantly. It became a part of you. Something you enjoyed. But now...

“I’ve got five hundred imperial credits,” the Mandalorian says.

Imperial credits. Great. How did he get his hands on those?

“That’s all you got? Well..” she says and looks back at you.

“What do you think,” she asks in a teasing tone.

You try to plead to her with your eyes. You are sweating beyond belief and your brain is about to explode.

She tightens her brows in confusion at your state, but continues to bargain.

“That should at least cover the hanger,” she says and you feel your jaw almost drop to the floor.

How can she not see it?

“I’ll get you your money,” the Mandalorian mumbles and you try to take a deep breath. Passing out in front of one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy who may be here to kill you would rip off the last bit of pride you had left. If you are going down, you are going down with a fight.

“I’ve heard that before,” Peli responds and looks at you in a joking way. Like she was trying to coax you into laughing with her.

You try to chuckle back, but it just comes out in a low breath.

You sound insane.

“Just remember—,” the Mandalorian starts

“No droids. I heard ya,” Peli finishes.

“Why do you think I keep this girl around,” she says chuckling with a pat on your back.

You muster up the strength to smile and feel holes burning in your head from the Mandalorian’s gaze.

He really knows how to stare.

The Mandalorian leaves the hanger, and it takes everything in you not to pass out right there.

You thought with him leaving it would die down, but it’s only getting worse.

“Are you ok,” Peli asks and helps you lower yourself to the ground.

You are breathing frantically now and your hands are clutched to your chest.

“He has it,” you say and you know Peli knows what you mean.

She looks at you with wide eyes and you see the realization on her face.

“Oh my god.... he was in a shootout,” she says.

“Uh huh,” you breathe out. The desperate force connection is starting to fade and you feel your lungs fill up with air once more.

“He could have been followed! Or he could be here to—“

“Kill us,” you say. Peli hates when you finish her sentences, but there was no point in caring right now.

“Ok. Get inside. If I need you I will call for you,” she says and you nod, slowly getting to your feet.

You start to walk back to your room, with Peli’s arms guiding you, while taking deep breaths, but you freeze when you sense something else coming out of the ship and you snap your head to the ramp.

“What,” Peli says as she follows your gaze.

Your heart flutters. The force is slowly starting to ease its nasty grip on you.

If you didn’t sense the creature, you would miss it.

A little green baby, wrapped in what looked like a potato sack, was strolling down the ramp, looking directly at you.

“It’s him,” you say.

“He has it.”

[im-in-vin-ci-ble]

Bestieee~ This is long but can I request a Mark x fem reader where he’s dating eve and readers a strong solo hero who happens to catch his eye after finding out she works with cecil and they officially meet when Cecil sends her out to help Atom eve and Mark with a villain and after instead of helping his gf he introduces himself to reader and gets all nervous and she finds and calls him really cute so she asks if he’s taken and he says no and she tells him to give her a call if they ever wanna go out together, eve asks what was that about (she didn’t hear the convo) he says nothing and they go home and sooner or later reader and mark hook up leading to them falling for each and catching feelings and one day they took it to the next level and it’s was very heated and they end up confessing and having another heated make out session only for eve to come and find them in the act and she’s heartbroken and argues with Mark infront of reader, eventually eve storms out but mark doesn’t go after her he apologizes to reader that he lied and she’s okay with it and they stay together

(It can be as explicit as you want and can Marks parents really adore reader and they also go to the same school, I’m sorry this is so long 🥲)

A/N: omg hey bestie so sorry this took a while! this was loooooong and is the last request in my inbox before Love They Neighbour 2!

Pairing: Mark Grayson x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit AF

Warnings: smut!! on!! smut!! cheating, swearing, angst, etc

Summary: You captivated Mark the moment you swooped in to help, but he should have been more honest with you before things got intense.

As you landed the final hit on the last Mauler twin standing, you watched as he fell on the pavement and created a crater around his gigantic blue being. You let out a sigh of exhaustion when your feet touched back on the ground, relieved that it was done and over with.

"Excuse me?"

You turned around and saw Invincible hovering towards you, his blue and yellow suit tarnished from the action.

"Hi, sorry, I should have introduced myself before I jumped in," you said, walking to where he landed. "Cecil sent me here."

"Oh... so you, uh, work for the GDA," he replied feebly.

"I do, just started actually," you informed him.

"That was..." he pointed at the knocked out Mauler twin, "that was a nice blow."

You crossed your brows, "I'm sorry?"

"Sorry! No! I meant... I meant..." he stuttered. "Like that was... t-that was a good... hit! A good hit!" Mortified, he placed his hand on his forehead and shook his head, and you could swear there was a tinge of pink creeping up on his cheeks.

You laughed at the boy, who is one of the strongest people on this planet, as he fell apart in front of you. "Thank you," you simply replied, keeping it short to keep him from feeling more embarrassed. "Anyway, I should report back—"

"I'm Invincible," he cut you off, reaching his hand out.

You looked down at his hand that was trembling, then back up to his face that still had that smile on. "I'm Y/N," you replied with your superhero name, shaking his hand slowly.

"Shit, I just realized I cut you off," he suddenly said, placing his hand on his forehead again. "I was gonna say thank you for helping Atom Eve and I out with the twins but I just got so caught up in my own thoughts that I..." he trailed off, "that I started rambling. Shit, sorry."

"Don't worry about it," you responded with an audible giggle, "I'll let it pass because you're cute."

His lips formed into a wide smile, "You... You think I'm cute?"

"I do," you nodded, biting your lower lip. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No!" he exclaimed almost immediately. "No, no, I... I'm not."

"Well do you maybe wanna go out some time?" you asked. "Our dating pool is quite limited and I think you're probably the best catch out there right now."

"I-I would love to," he stammered as he fumbled to get his phone, which is miraculously still in tact, out of his pocket. "Give me your number, I'll text you!"

As you typed your phone number on the screen, you looked up at his face that was beaming with so much excitement, his mask could have melted off. You swiftly returned his phone and winked, "Call me," and you flew off — that was a good exit.

His eyes followed you as you zoomed away, and his head began thinking of all the things he can/should say in his first text to you.

"Mark," a female voice broke his daydream, "what was that all about?"

He turned around and saw Eve, his girlfriend, standing there with an unsuspicious look on her face. "Nothing," he lied, clearing his throat. "Let's go home, I'm ready to just lay on my bed."

— — —

After going out on two (secret) study dates together, Mark finally accepted that he was in deep shit. He paced around his bedroom as he waited for you to come in through the window, internally panicking at two things: one, that he's catching real feelings for you and two, that Eve will find out.

"I can't lie to Eve forever, she'll know something's up," he mumbled to himself as he walked back and forth.

A soft gust of wind caught his attention and he looked up to see you gently closing his bedroom window. You cheerfully greeted him but the smile on your face quickly disappeared upon seeing the worried look on his.

"Is everything okay?" you asked.

"Yeah, I'm just, um..." he trailed off, looking up at the ceiling, "stressed about art class."

"Well I don't know how your class does it but it sounds like they're really giving you guys a tough time out there," you replied, moving close enough to him to wrap your arms around his neck.

He responded by placing his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. "It's a killer," he lied.

"Well you look like you need a stress reliever," you said in a low voice, leaning in to give him gentle kisses on the neck. "And I think I know just the thing," you added in a whisper.

Your lips on his neck sent shots of electricity up Mark's spine and his grip around your waist tightened. He used one hand to move your face back up across his and he immediately began kissing you, each one more deeper and more passionate than the last. He guided the both of you to his bed where you landed in synchronicity, and his hands were quick to pull up your shirt and unbutton your shorts.

"Mark, hey," you pulled away. "Are you okay?"

He took a deep breath, "Mmhm, I just need you right now."

The redness and look of restraint in his face was, admittedly, driving you crazy too; you resumed kissing him and proceeded to take off his clothes — which were luckily just a T-shirt and shorts — and his hand moved up and down your back until he decided to unhook your bra. He pulled away from your lips and dived down to your chest, sucking on your perky nipples as his one hand rubbed circles over your damp center. He was sending you into a frenzy and when you finally found the strength to speak, it was just his name.

"I need you right now," he repeated as he placed himself on top of you and stripped you of your last article of clothing.

Mark reached over to his bedside table and rolled down a condom in what seemed like mere seconds. Lining himself up to your entrance, you caught a glimpse of his throbbing cock as he fully slid himself inside you. A low moan escaped from both your lips while you adjusted to his length, and he slowly began picking up a rhythm and a steady pace. He leaned down and gave you a sloppy kiss as he moved with more force and speed, his fingers tangling with yours while you both lost yourself to each other.

"I need you," he moaned, "I need you right now."

You kissed him once more and replied breathily, "I'm right here. Fuck, Mark, I'm right here."

Keeping his forehead against yours and his speed and strength building up, he said the two words that brought you crumbling:

"Cum. Now."

The force, the rhythm, and the authority in his voice pushed you over edge. Your thighs tensed then weakened as you entered a whole new state of euphoria, and your soft moans together in the air sounded like a warm, harmonic song. Mark felt himself let go inside you and his pace slowed down to sporadic thrusts until he rolled over next to you, the both of you panting from all the emotions.

"Holy fuck," you said shakily. "That was..."

"Insane," he finished for you as he pulled the condom away and threw it to what he hoped was his trash bin.

"Mmhm," you whispered before turning your head to look at him.

You watched as Mark caught his breath, his sweaty and toned chest moving up and down. He extended his arm above you and you scooted closer, resting your head on his shoulder and placing your hand on his heaving his chest. You laid there in silence, the only audible noise being the humming of the air-conditioner.

"Y/N, I need to tell you something," Mark finally said.

"Yes?" you asked, tracing circles on his chest with your fingertip.

"I don't know how to say it," he started. "So I'm just going to. Don't freak out, please. And if you do, will you let me know so I can—"

"Mark," you cut him off, "just tell me."

He took a deep breath, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Really?" you giggled.

"Yeah, really," he replied. "It's cool if you don't... you know, feel the same way or whatever."

You chuckled and planted a tender kiss on his lips. "I feel too, you know," you said. "But I'm glad you said it first."

"Why?" he asked with a smile.

"Because," you shrugged. "If somebody asks, I can tell them you were the first one to break."

Mark laughed and began attacking you with kisses — on your neck, your cheeks, you forehead, your ears, your nose, anywhere he could plant one. You giggled as you tried to get away, feigning weakness while you enjoyed the moment. He finally managed to land a long one your lips, and that one kiss re-energized the heat you were just feeling earlier. His one hand gently cusped your breasts in turns, and you retaliated by rolling on top of him and moving his hands down to your ass. You moaned as Mark gave you a gentle squeeze, and he guided your hips to slowly move against him.

"God, I need you so bad," he said in between kisses.

"I'm all yours, baby," you responded quietly. "All yours, alw—"

"Mark?"

His focus shattered as that familiar voice rang in his ear. You quickly rolled off him, covering yourself with the blanket and looking up at a hovering Eve. Mark grabbed his shorts and quickly put them back on before walking towards Eve, extending his arms out in an attempt to keep her calm.

"Eve, before you say anything—"

"I can't believe you!" she yelled, the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "I can't believe you would do this to me! I trusted you! I trusted her!" she added, pointing at you.

"Eve, she didn't know. Leave her out of this," Mark replied sternly, lowering his arms. "This is between you and me."

She slowly landed back down on the floor but didn't move a step; Eve was paralyzed with anger and sadness, bu mostly the former. "Why?"

"Look, Eve," he turned to look at you and returned his attention to his sobbing girlfriend. "I'm sorry I lied to you. But the truth is I just... I just stopped loving you. I haven't... loved you for a while now."

"And you couldn't be honest with me?" she asked.

"No, I couldn't," Mark answered, "and I'm sorry you had to find out this way. This is on me, okay?"

Eve sniffled, "Why did you stop loving me?"

"All we did was fight, Eve," he sighed, "all we did was fight and yell at each other until we got so tired of yelling, we'd just fall asleep. Then the next morning it's like nothing happened."

She sniffled and shook her head, still refusing to believe this was happening.

"We never solved anything. We never apologized to each other. It's like we were just staying together for the sake of it, or so that no one in the team could shit on us if we broke up," Mark added. "I'm sorry, Eve. I never meant for it to play out like this."

Eve looked up at him with a stone face, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm gonna fly out of that window, And if you don't follow, it means that you don't wanna solve this," she said, sniffling and pointing at his open bedroom window. "Make your choice, Mark."

He watched as he left her bedroom, the soft gust of wind flipping some of his comic books open. Mark walked towards the window and stared at Eve, who was now flying further and further away. When he could no longer see her silhouette in the sky, he shut his window.

"Mark, aren't you...?"

"No," he shook his head, "I didn't mean for this but I meant what I said to Eve."

He turned around and sat on the edge of the bed, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. "Y/N, I owe you an apology too," he sighed. "I should have told you about Eve. I should have broken it off with her before I started anything with you."

"Mark..."

He finally looked up at you, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't want you to get caught in the middle of this." He sighed again, "I understand if you want to go and never talk to me again because I'm a total piece of shit. But please know I didn't want this to happen."

You sat there and stared at him — Invincible didn't look so invincible right now; he was ashamed and angry at himself. The teenage boy arrogantly flying through the skies like it was no big deal was sitting across you, defeated from the stupid decisions he admittedly made. There was a mixture of fear and embarrassment and sadness and guilt in his eyes, and he was ready for you to just get dressed and leave.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"W... What?"

You shook your head and moved next to him, keeping the blanket over your chest. "I forgive you," you explained to him. "What you did was shitty, yeah, but we all make mistakes. I know I've made my fair share."

"But this was a really big mistake," he said.

"I know," you replied, "but at least you can admit to it and learn from it."

He sighed, "You know, I meant what I said to you earlier... about me... you know, falling in love with you."

"I believe you, and I meant it too.”

You lied back down on the bed and patted the empty space next to you. Mark took up your offer and wrapped you in his arms, his nose buried in your hair as he kept you close to him.

“I promise I will never hurt you like this,” he whispered.

“I know.”

[spidernerdsblog]

Can you do MMIH blurb where the reader and Tom try and have alone time but the twins keep interrupting and tom gets frustrated and sends them to Nikki's nd Dom's place so they can have alone time?

Got a couple of requests on this concept so here it is the well deserved date night for them. Hope you like this. Let me know what you think.

Match made in Hell (series)

DATE NIGHT

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings : 18+, SMUT, minors DNI, soft passionate, bathtub sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Running a business was never easy be it the mob or his new real estate business Tom always found paperwork grating. The constant signing of his initials after scrutinizing the legal documents line by line stacked in those manila folders on the table was strenuous. And on top of that when you walked into his office in the middle of the day dressed in that sundress that drove him insane didn’t help much either. He was quick to put all the work aside and pull you in his lap. 

With the kids and a business to run you could barely spare some time for each other. So whenever you managed a little alone time you were all over each other like some horny teenagers all desperate and needy. Your dress was bunched up to your waist, his hands kneading the soft flesh of your ass as you grinded on his growing bulge. Tom’s breath was hot on your neck as he kissed the sweet spot behind your ear that made your knees go weak. You let out a whimper when he slipped a hand between your legs rubbing your clit through your panties feeling your wetness. 

“Fuck baby you’re soaked” he grunted hastily undoing his belt and fly. He was about to pull out his throbbing length when you were interrupted by Leah’s sharp voice.

“Mommy! Look, Nate ate my chocolates!” 

“No mommy I did not!” Nate retorted as you stopped everything you were doing. Sighing against his mouth you pulled away from Tom.

“Mmmmph don’t go please” he whined, chasing your lips as his grip tightened on your waist in an attempt to keep you close.

“I have to” you kissed his nose and pressed your foreheads together with a smile.

“You know I love them with my life but they are being serious cockblocks lately” he mumbled.

“Don't say like that, they are small and they need me” you snickered. 

“What about me? I need you too” he pouted, giving you his best puppy eyes.

“Yeah that is the reason they are here in the first place so now deal with it” you got off his lap standing up and fixing your dress while Tom sat on his chair with a scowl on his face. He knew he was being selfish but you both deserve some alone time together. He can’t remember the last time you cuddled together and poured your hearts out, drifting off to sleep listening to each other's heartbeat. And then suddenly an idea went across his mind.

“By the way, are you going to the diner today?” he asked.

“Yeah, some deliveries will be arriving. I need to check them myself. Why?”  

“Try to come home early”

“For what?” you glanced at him questioningly.

“Just be back by six. You’ll get to know” he insisted.

“Ok I’ll try” you left, pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

After solving the huge mystery of the stolen chocolates, it turned out that Nate indeed had eaten all of his sister’s chocolates. You made him say sorry to her and then went to your diner. As promised you returned home early and were a little surprised to find the house oddly quieter than normal days.

“Good evening darling. How was your day?” Tom’s voice startled you as he walked in from the backdoor of the mansion. You also noticed how he was dressed differently tonight in a blue turtleneck and trousers, hair gelled back as his rolex glimmered on his wrist.

“It was good but why is it so quiet in here? Where are the kids?” you asked, taking off your overcoat and handing it to Tom who took it from you and hung it on the coat hanger.

“At their grandma's” he informed nonchalantly.

“Thomas Holland, you just did not send our kids to your parents house to have sex with me did you?!” you raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“That’s preposterous! I would never do that!” he gasped dramatically “it had been a long time since they visited their grandparents and mum was missing them too so I dropped them off at my parent’s for tonight” he explained. 

“Okay I believe you. So why did you ask me to come home early?” 

“Well I thought it has also been a long time we spent time together just the two of us so I arranged a little date night for us” he revealed, smiling with glee. 

“Aww that's very sweet of you. So where are we going?” you asked curiously.

“You'll see. Shall we Mrs. Holland?” he held out his hand for you.

“Sure Mr. Holland” you slipped your arm into his with a smile.

Stepping out of the mansion you strolled through the blue stoned walkway hand in hand as he took you to the gazebo built in the middle of your huge lawn. As you neared it your eyes went wide in awe. The gazebo was decorated with fairy lights, a table for two was set with flowers and candles on it and a mix of your favorite songs playing.

“You like it?” he asked softly.

“Oh my god Tom I love it!” you gasped, taking his face between your hands and giving his lips a warm rather long kiss.

“My lady,” Tom pulled out a chair for you.

“Thank you kind sir” you snickered sitting down as Tom took the seat opposite to you. He opens the bottle of wine and pours you both a glass. Raising your glasses in the air for a toast he admires your beautiful face glowing in the soft yellow light emanating from the candles. After you are finished having your dinner which, not to mention was delicious. You reached out your hands, taking his hands in yours gently.

“This was perfect Tom, I really missed spending time with just the two of us” you said, mindlessly tracing his wedding band with your thumb.

“I’m glad you liked Y/N” he gave a warm smile, squeezing your hands lightly.

“Thank you so much Tom for...”

“Ah ah not yet darling” he cuts you off.

“What else did you plan?” you gave him a puzzled look.

“For that we have to go back inside the house”

“I think I already know what the surprise is” you narrowed your gaze, giving him a knowing smirk.

“Oh c’mon you’ll love it I promise” he said with an impish glee.

“We’ll see,” you laughed as you got up from your seats and slowly made your way back into the house and then headed to your room.  

“You might wanna change” he whispered into your ears as you felt butterflies in your stomach in anticipation at what he had planned for you “and don’t come in before I say” he added before disappearing inside the bathroom. You unzipped your dress, taking it off as you decided to just put on your satin robe and sat on the edge of the bed wondering what he was doing inside for so long.

“Y/N you can come in now” you heard him call out after sometime. The lights were off as you padded your way inside to have your jaws dropped. Tom had drawn a bubble bath for both of you. The room was lit with your favorite scented candles, the sweet scent looming in the air and rose petals scattered everywhere.

“So what do you think?” Tom asked, sitting inside the bathtub.

“Well you got me speechless Holland”

“I thought what’s better than a relaxing bubble bath at the end of the day”

“Can’t argue with that” you snickered.

“Now come on in before the water gets cold” he invited you.

You untied the knot of your robe and slipped it off your shoulders letting it fall on the floor. Tom’s eyes were on you watching every slight movement of yours mesmerized. He can never get enough of you and your beautiful body. You stepped inside the tub as Tom spread his legs a bit to accommodate you. You sat down between his legs leaning back on his chest instantly relaxing at the feeling of the warm water hugging every inch of your skin as you breath in the aroma of the bubble bath. Tom’s warm chest brushing against your back adds to the feeling as you  melt into him soaking in the heat radiating off his body. It was like heaven and this is exactly what you needed.

“Comfortable?” he asked as you nodded in a yes. Tom brought his hands up to your shoulders, gently pushing his thumbs into them, massaging your tired muscles. He rubs his hands all over your shoulders and upper back relieving the knots. A little moan escaped your lips whenever he hit a spot.

“You really need to give serious thought to taking up the job of a masseur” you snickered.

“Well as I told you before it’s only for a special person” he said continuing to massage at the base of your neck.

“It feels good” you sighed in content.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm” you hummed.

“I have another way to make you feel better” he murmured against the shell of your ear and your breath hitched.

“How’s that?” 

Tom wrapped his right arm around you, cupping one of your breasts. He places his other hand on your knee, running it across the expanse of your thigh before dragging them along your inner thigh. The cold wedding band on his ring finger a sharp contrast against your warm skin sending shivers down your body.

He spread your delicate folds with his long fingers and dragged them slowly up and down taking his own time. He littered your neck and shoulder with bites and kisses as his fingers explored you and little waves of pleasure coursed through your body. He switched between pinching your nipple and squeezing your breast as you grind your ass against his cock.

“Want my fingers inside you love?” he purred.

“Yes... yes please Tom” your voice came out shaky yet desperate.

He bites on your shoulder gently as he inserted his pointer and middle finger into you in one swift motion. The feeling of his knuckles pressed deep against you felt so overwhelming makes you clench involuntarily. His fingers massaged your velvety walls pushing in and out of you drawing out delicate moans of his name from you. His thumb soon found your bundle of nerves drawing slow circles around it. You grinded your ass back against him harder as he picks up his pace.

“Needy for my fingers, aren’t ya?” he chuckled as you mewled in response. Your head tilted to the side as he trailed kisses back up your neck, nipping at your earlobe while his fingers worked on your wetness. He whispered praises into your ear as you clenched around his fingers, legs threatening to close. Tom placed a hand on your thigh to keep your legs apart. He could tell you were close as your body grew heavier in his grasp.

“You gonna cum for me darling?” he curled his fingers inside you hitting your spot.

“Yes...fuck Tom... right there” your body fell back against him. Tom knelt down, capturing your lips in a sloppy, passionate kiss as he rubbed at your clit faster. Your body convulsed as your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave. Tom held you against him as you came down from your high you felt his hard cock pressing against your ass. 

You turned around in your post orgasmic haze placing your hands on his chest straddling his waist. You captured his lips in a heated kiss, his tongue slipped past your lips dominating you as he ran his hand down your bare back. Your wet bodies rubbing against each other as you moaned into each other's mouths.

“Ride me baby. Wanna feel every inch of you” he said pulling away, the deep baritone of his voice making your pussy throb with need.

You lifted yourself up gripping on his shoulders tightly as Tom grabbed his dick and lined it to your hot, wet and welcoming entrance. You slowly sunk down on him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as he filled you up. You can never get used to him always stretching you in the most incredible and delicious ways. Tom groaned loudly, bottoming out. 

You started to ride him, gradually gyrating your hips in a slow motion. His hands falling to your hips guiding you up and down his length. Your hips meet with each and every thrust, water splashing out of the tub which you could care less about right now. He knelt down peppering your chest with kisses and love bites, your fingers knotted in his hair tugging on the roots as you bounced on his cock.

Tom’s hands slid down to your ass, spreading your cheeks as he took control. You gasped when he picked up the pace, plunging deeper inside you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, clinging onto him as he thrusted up into you mercilessly. You hid your face in the crook of his neck sucking a mark into his skin. Tom felt your body tremble, your walls squeezing him like a vice and he knew you were almost there.

He wrapped an arm around you holding you securely while his other hand reached down between your wet bodies. He began rubbing your oversensitive clit in fast circular motion that sent you tipping off the edge. You wrapped your arms around him trying to keep him as close as possible as you slowly rode out your high. Your walls spasmed around him which sets him off too. His whole body shudders and he spills his seed inside you. 

Both of your chests were heaving as you came down for the high. He leaned back against the edge of the tub with you in his embrace. You sit back to find a goofy smile on his face . 

“I love you” your hand traces his jaw and you lean in to kiss him “you always take care of me so well” you murmured against his lips. Tom tugged on your bottom lip, a grin forming at the corner of his lips.

“We are just getting started, darling”

..................................................................................

Reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[farfromharry]

Brightside | CEO!Dad!Tom fic

summary: a sudden and unexpected turn of events with your little boy, leaves him in the hospital with an unknown diagnosis. tom has to fly home and the two of you have to face each other, properly and civilly, for the first time since your breakup. will this negative experience turn into a positive one, in more ways than one?

word count - 10.3k

warnings - warnings - language, hospitals, needles, fainting, mentions of seizures, mentions of blood

a/n - angst for once, but obviously ending in fluff because i can’t hurt myself like that🥰 also i’m super nervous to post this so lets see how this goes :)

A loud, irritating noise filled the kitchen as your phone began to ring. You groaned, annoyed. The once calm silence was now filled with your curses of panic as you tried to wipe off your messy hands as quickly as possible. You found an unused cloth on your kitchen side and decided on just using that, wiping off the remnants of the food you’d been making. You grabbed your phone from off of the counter, pressing the green accept button, lifting the device up to your ear.

“Hello?” you asked. Having not bothered to look at the contact name, you had absolutely no idea who you were even talking to right now.

“Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?”

You mumbled a quick ‘yes.’ You wedged the phone between your ear and your shoulder, picking up the knife you’d been using a few minutes prior to continue cutting up the vegetable in front of you.

“This is about your son, Theo,” she said, “I work in the reception at the school.” You rolled your eyes, assuming that your angel of a four year old had somehow gotten into some trouble that you were now going to have to deal with.

The lady proceeded to explain to you quite the opposite of what you’d originally thought. She’d told you how Theo had thrown up in class, prompting him to be sent to the nurse where he then fainted, almost escalating to a seizure.

“What?” you asked. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach, a sick feeling beginning to bubble in your throat. The knife had carelessly slipped from your fingers, making a loud clattering noise as it hit the counter. You gave the woman your undivided attention, listening to every word she spoke to you. She confirmed again what you’d thought you’d heard, your heart starting to beat out of your chest.

“We’re taking him to the hospital just in case,” she said, “Can you meet us there?”

You were panicking, her words barely even registering in your head until she called your name again. You muttered a quick yes in response. Your hands were beginning to shake and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep hold of your phone.

“I’ll be right there.”

You looked around at the mess, scrolling through the contacts on your phone and calling your mother. She picked up quickly, happily greeting you on the other end of the line. You quickly explained to her the situation and asked nicely if she could clean up what you’d been doing while you’re gone.

She thankfully said yes, promising everything would be fine. You were in such a rush after that, that you didn’t take anything with you except your phone. You slipped your shoes on as quick as you could, grabbing your car keys out of the small wooden bowl on the side and rushing out of the front door.

It was a miracle that you somehow didn’t crash your car on the way to the hospital. There were tears welling up in your eyes and it was impossible to properly see clearly. Your hands were still shaking as they gripped the wheel with so much strength you were scared it could break. Your head was a mess and you could barely process which direction you were going, you knew you shouldn’t have been driving like this.

It was almost a daze when you thought about how you got from your home to the hospital, your brain couldn’t piece together being in the car.

As soon as you’d parker, you were rushing inside, probably looking insane to others as you frantically turned your head in any direction, trying to find where you could ask for help.

You were clearly distressed and people were beginning to notice, one of those people being the lady that had called you earlier.

“Miss Y/L/N.”

Your head whipped around to where the voice came from, spotting her standing a few metres away. You made your way over, seeing her motion to the room where you could see your little boy laying inside.

Your heart broke even more at the sight of him. There were wires connected to him, ones that you didn’t understand, and it scared you to the core.

You frowned, stroking your hand through his messy curls, trying to tame the wild hair as best you could. It was one of the many things he’d inherited from his dad.

“Do you have anyone else you can call?” she asked, politely, “I just don’t want to leave you here alone.”

You smiled at her in thanks, nodding your head and forcing yourself to move away from your baby boy.

“I should probably call his dad,” you stated.

You heard a quiet groan from your side, turning your body to see Theo’s eyes fluttering awake, his body shifting uncomfortably.

“Oh thank god, you’re awake,” you gushed. You kissed his head over and over, wrapping your arms around him tightly. You heard the boy whine about you almost suffocating him and letting out a relieved giggle, you loosened your grip.

You still held him to your chest, just long enough to calm your racing heart.

“I’ll leave you both,” she spoke, reminding you she was still in the room.

You nodded your head, flashing her a genuinely thankful smile.

“Thank you for helping him,” you whispered. You gave her a friendly hug, telling your son to wave goodbye before she left. You sighed deeply, taking a moment to let everything sink in to not overwhelm yourself.

You heard the four year old calling for you, prompting you to turn around to see what he needed.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” He jutted his bottom lip out, looked absolutely adorable as he started up at you with those soft, honey, brown eyes.

“I’m bored,” he whined. You pouted for him, eyes scanning around the small room for anything he could possibly amuse himself with.

“Do you want me to go ask for a colouring book or something?” you asked him. He rapidly nodded his head, a smile breaking out on your face for the first time within the hour, since the school had called you.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a second.”

Before you walked out of the door, you turned back to him and pointed your finger at him accusingly. “Don’t get into any trouble, mister,” you warned, a hint of playfulness in your tone. He giggled loudly, making your heart melt at the adorable sound.

“I promise.”

Being on a children's ward meant that the front desk always had things like these at hand. The ladies were more than happy to give you one of the books they had left, not having many options to choose from though.

They handed you some crayons and other colouring items. You thanked them profusely, knowing that you now wouldn’t have to deal with a cranky little Holland boy, because you knew how they could get.

You made your way back to the room quickly, having your doubts about leaving the toddler alone in an unknown place for any longer than necessary.

“Here you go, little man.”

You handed him the book with the wide variety of colouring items. You had to explain to him that the only books they had left were animals and flowers and you thought the animal ones looked much more fun.

“I’m expecting to see a rainbow frog,” you told him. He giggled, shaking his head.

“You can’t have a rainbow frog, mummy.” You gasped, furrowing your eyebrows teasingly.

“Why not, mister?” you asked. You saw him huff, trying to hide your giggle.

“They’re not real,” he said, like it was just so obvious.

This time you couldn’t hide your giggle as you watched his tiny brows furrow in annoyance at you. You leaned forward and placed a kiss to the tiny crease in the middle of his eyebrows. Once again something he got from his dad when he pulled the same face.

“I was just teasing bub.” He rolled his eyes at you, making you gasp and poke his belly teasingly. He giggled loudly, the noise echoing around the room as he tried to get you to stop tickling him.

You had considerably calmed down from when you arrived at the hospital to now, feeling your heart beating at a much slower pace, one that was at least calm.

“Will you colour with me?” he asked.

Originally, you were going to take this time to call Tom, but seeing the boy’s puppy dog eyes, you absolutely couldn’t resist.

You stayed and coloured in the animals with him for a while, just enjoying bonding with your bub.

You’d help him stay in the lines of the drawing, helping him out where he needed helping, while also working on your own animal, surprisingly enjoying yourself.

Noticing the time on the clock, you made the decision that you had to call Tom, it had already been long enough, it couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’m just going to go call daddy, okay?” He nodded his head, content with going back to his colouring book. You sighed, leaving the room and finding a quiet space in the corridor.

You pulled up Tom’s contact on your phone, one you’d contemplated deleting probably a hundred times, hovering over the call button hesitantly.

As soon as it started ringing your heart ached, you weren’t even sure if he’d pick up, possibly too busy with work once again.

You gasped when you heard the phone connect, almost shocked that he’d take the time to answer you.

“Hi, Tom, um-“ He cut you off before you could even finish, something that irritated you beyond belief.

“Look Y/N, now’s really not a good time, can this wait?” he asked, telling someone on the other side of the phone that he’d be two minutes.

“Tom, I had to take Theo to the hospital,” you cried, finally letting out the sob you’d been holding in all day. You didn’t mean to cry or guilt him, it was just bad timing. You’d been trying to be strong for your little boy, knowing he was already scared out of his mind, he didn’t need to know his mum was scared too.

“Woah, hey, calm down, breathe Y/N.” You listened to his smooth voice, taking deep breaths until you were able to talk again.

“What do you mean you had to take him to the hospital,” he said, “What happened?”

A sense of overwhelming panic beginning to overtake his entire body. He was across the ocean, there was nothing he could do.

You explained everything that had happened up until now, Tom listening intently to every word.

“Shit, do they know what’s wrong?” he asked, nervously. You could hear the worry in his voice.

“No, we’re waiting for them to come and do some tests,” you said, glancing back at your boy through the window in his room. Just to check that he was okay.

“Is he okay right now?” he questioned. His brain was a mess, there were so many possibilities of things that could be wrong running through his head and he hoped to God that none of them were true.

“Yeah, I think so, he’s just colouring at the minute.”

Tom sighed. “Okay, well um-“ He tried to organize his thoughts, listening to you telling him to take a minute. “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said. You suddenly felt awful, knowing he was halfway across the world. The last thing you wanted was to guilt trip him into dropping everything, especially if he didn’t want to. Your tears had come to a stand still, trying to explain to him that it was okay and you had this under control.

“You don’t have to, I know you’re busy and-“ He cut you off again.

“Nothing’s more important to me than him, I’ll be there, I promise.”

After going through the later years of your relationship, you knew not to trust Tom’s promises, and you also knew how stubborn he was. His promises were often broken and just ended up hurting people in the end, and you didn’t want that to be you all over again.

“Y/N, did you hear me?” he asked, after not receiving a response from you.

“Yeah, I heard you, I’ll see you soon,” you said. You said your goodbyes, hanging up the phone and heading back inside the hospital room to see your boy.

“Change of plans, cancel the meeting,” Tom demanded, taking his coat from behind his chair and throwing it on his body in a haste. The women and men sitting around the table stared at him in shock, gasping at how unprofessional the CEO seemed to be.

“Mr Holland, this meeting is important, we can’t just cancel,” she tried to reason. He waved her off, shaking his head and dialling another number on his phone, the one of his personal assistant.

“Harrison, hi, I need you to book me on the next flight to London, asap.”

She apologised to them on his behalf, but the woman refused to give up, following Tom out of the meeting room and all the way to the set of lifts at the end of the floor. Tom was rapidly pressing the button to call the lift, hoping it could come quicker than it was. He hung up the phone with Harrison after confirming all the details of the flight.

“London?” she gasped, “You can’t go to London, we’re in the middle of one of the biggest deals of your career Tom.”

Tom rolled his eyes, almost up to his limits with everything. He didn’t know what was going to cause him to break down first, the woman or the fact that the lift still wasn’t here. He knew it was silly to get so worked up over something so small, but his concern for his child was above anything else.

“I don’t care about the deal, Y/N just called, Theo’s in the hospital,” he said. She frowned, an apology already on the tip of her tongue. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“What do you want me to do?” she asked, referencing the meeting with the big investors that was due to happen any moment.

“Whatever you think is best, but please don’t tell them about Theo, I don’t want this getting out.” She nodded, heading back towards the office to explain what was happening with the meeting, unfortunately having to come up with something on the spot.

While Tom was being driven to the airport, you were trying to convince Theo to get in bed and go to sleep. It was late for him, almost eleven, and he’d had a very long day.

“Please, it’s already past your normal bedtime.” He pouted, making grabby hands at you.

“But this bed isn’t comfy and-“ You rolled your eyes, gently squeezing his cheeks together to get him to stop making excuses.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” you asked, seeing him nod his head. You smiled softly, climbing under the covers and seeing what he meant when he said it was uncomfortable. You let him curl into you, resting his small head on your chest, his arms clinging to you.

“Mummy?” he whispered. You hummed, running your fingers through his curly hair, something that you usually did when he was scared, because it always calmed him down. He shifted in your arms, pushing himself up on the small bed so that he could lay his head next to yours on the soft pillow.

“Do you still love daddy?” he asked, looking up at you with his big brown eyes that perfectly resembled Toms. Your heart ached. In all honesty, you didn’t know what to say to the boy, because you didn’t know yourself. You thought it over in your head quietly.

On the one hand you hated how obsessed and committed he was to his work, but on the other, he was an amazing dad to Theo, and he always treated you like a princess. Your eyes flickered over your baby’s face, admiring all the parts of his features that he got from his daddy.

You realised in that moment, looking at those tiny features, the ones that resembled the ones you studied for hours on end once upon a time, you truly did hold a soft spot for Tom, even now. You sighed, stroking your boy’s cheek, ready to give him his answer.

“Of course I do.” you admitted. You saw the corner of his lips twitch up as he tried to bite back a smile.

“Then why don’t you live together,” he asked, “Everyone else at school’s parents live together.” You frowned, not having the heart to tell him about your break up properly, even after all this time. You simply pulled him closer to you, wrapping your arms around his tiny body and kissing the top of his head.

“We needed some time apart, to focus on what needed our attention,” you said, “We couldn’t do everything at once.”

You saw him staring up at you with his wide eyes, your heart pounding in your chest even thinking about what happened with Tom. You weren’t quite sure Theo understood what you meant, because he still looked a little confused.

“So, your daddy had to focus on his company, making sure everything was going well and I had to focus on my little rugrat,” you said, poking his belly to tickle him. He giggled, trying to squirm away from your hands.

“Is it like-like in Captain America, when Steve has to leave Peggy to save the world.” You raised your eyebrows, thinking it over. You were a little bit shocked by his surprisingly good analogy.

“And then Peggy has to focus on Shield,” you added, “It’s exactly like that Theo.” He nodded his head, understanding where you were coming from.

You saw his big eyes begin to blink more, but also slower, a tell-tale sign that he was going to knock out any minute.

“Mummy?” he asked again. You smiled.

“Yes Theo?” you said, brushing his overgrown curls out of the way of his eyes.

“Are you more like Steve or Peggy?” he asked. You giggled, amused by the idea of him relating yours and Tom’s relationship to a fictional, superhero one.

“Well you see, I’m more like Steve, because I had to sacrifice everything for my world, just like he did.” You kissed his head when you said ‘my world,’ clearly referring to your boy.

“Wow,” he mumbled, letting his eyes finally flutter shut. “My mummy’s a superhero.”

Your eyes began to water happily, cradling his head to your chest as he finally fell asleep. You took deep breaths, trying to bite back the heart wrenching cry that was threatening to come out.

After a while of laying in the silence of the hospital room, you gave in and closed your eyes, letting your son’s rhythmic breaths ease you to sleep.

You were completely unaware that Tom had gotten the first flight out to London after he ended your phone call. You assumed he would have arrived in a few days time, at least, probably having left over business to finish up first.

[His heart] was racing the entire journey, feeling utterly useless from halfway across the world and he couldn’t stand it.

Harrison had tried to calm him down as he helped him pack for his flight on the private jet, telling him he needed to be positive about this. Tom had snapped at him, asking him how that was even possible while he wasn’t with his own child.

Tom felt bad but Harrison made it clear that he didn’t take it to heart, knowing he was stressed and there was nothing he could really do to help.

He offered to go with his boss, thinking it’d be better if he wasn’t doing this all alone, but Tom refused with minimal explanation. He knew you wouldn’t want a stranger lingering around the hospital room if anything went badly.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Tom?” he asked, standing on the runway at the entrance to the private jet, ready to go with him to England if he just so much as asked.

“I’m okay, really,” he promised, ascending the steps of the plane with his luggage.

The plane ride was gruelling. Tom didn’t know what to expect when he arrived, and he certainly didn’t know how it was going to go between the two of you while he was there. The flight was long and he tried to get as much sleep as he could, barely managing a couple hours with the worry bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

Everything seemed to be going so slowly, right from landing to getting through the airport.

It felt like he was waiting for a taxi for days, tapping his thumb on his arm anxiously, his eyes focused solely on the ground, trying to control the thoughts in his head.

The ride from the airport to the children’s hospital was agony for the young father. Tom’s leg was bouncing nervously, his hands shaking and his eyes glancing down at his watch or his phone every few seconds. He hadn’t gotten any updates from you recently, assuming you’d fallen asleep because of the time.

He knew that with it being this late he’d have to see you and Theo tomorrow morning. Before he left he didn’t really consider the time difference.

When the taxi stopped he was quick to toss the man the right amount of money, practically sprinting out of the car to grab his luggage.

It was as if he ran into the hospital, looking around frantically in search of the reception area, just like you had done hours prior. When he spotted it, it was like his feet were working before his brain. They led him to the woman before he even had time to process that he was moving.

“Hi, I’m here for Theodore Holland,” he announced. The woman at the front desk clearly didn’t notice the sense of urgency in Tom’s voice.

“Sir, I’m sorry, visiting hours are over,” she said, “They start again tomorrow at nine,” she explained calmly. Tom shook his head, running his hands through his hair for the hundredth time today. He was sure that by now it looked a complete mess, a contrast from his normally styled and gelled hair.

“I can’t wait, I have to see him,” he whined pitifully, “Please,” he begged.

She took pity on the young man, nodding her head and waving the rules in his time of need.

“And who are you?” she asked, typing the little boy’s name into the computer to search for his files, so slowly, like they had all the time in the world.

“I’m his dad,” he stated, looking around the hospital ward in a panic. She nodded, looking at the details for Theo on her computer.

“Can you just confirm his birthday?” she asked. Tom recited the little boy’s birthday to her with ease, the six digits being the password to his phone for the last four years and the day also being the best moment of his life.

“Alright, Mr Holland, you want to go right down that hall, turn left and then it’s the first door on your right, room 106,” she instructed. Tom thanked her, taking long, quick strides down the hallway, carrying his bag with his belongings in his hand.

After finding the plaque with the correct door number, he noticed the lights were off. He carefully opened the door and creeped in, closing it quietly behind him, to not disturb either of you. He noticed two figures on the bed instead of one, his heart melting at the sight of your four year old curled up into your chest like an infant again.

He let out a quiet sigh, placing his bag on the floor, taking a seat next to Theo’s side of the bed. He could now clearly see your face as you slept, still as beautiful as he remembered.

Yours and Tom’s breakup was messy. Breakups always are when there’s a child involved.

You simply hated how much Tom was working, barely ever home to see you both, leaving, what felt like, all the responsibility to you. You were both still young, only twenty-two at the time and you were struggling. One more missed dinner and crying baby finally tipped you over the edge, to where you couldn’t take it anymore.

When Tom finally came home that night you confronted him about it all. You didn’t mean to start a fight but that was evidently what happened anyway. You thought it could’ve been a civilised discussion that would be solved within the hour.

Tom left the house that night to go and stay with his brothers, hoping he could give you time to cool off and then everything would be back to normal when he next saw you.

However, what he didn’t expect, was for you to tell him you were really done, just like you’d said in the argument. He seemingly couldn’t choose between his job and his girlfriend and child, so, you chose for him.

He didn’t mean for it to happen. He didn’t realise how much he was focused on work instead of the people that mattered to him, and he pretty much lost everything within a night.

The next week, Tom was off doing more and more business deals to distract himself from his loss, his family claiming he was overworking himself. He never listened to them though, and that’s how he ended up in the states, far away from you and far away from his son.

From next to the bed Tom saw his baby begin to stir, shuffling over closer to his side of the bed and smiling down at the beautiful boy.

“Daddy?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with his tiny fists.

“Hi precious.” Tom stroked his cheek softly. This was the first time he’d been able to see his son in months, and he’d almost forgotten how amazing it was to see him in person. Yes, he’d seen him on facetime frequently, but there was something much more heart-warming about seeing him in the flesh and being able to hold him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked rather loudly, Tom shushing him and pointing to you.

“We don’t want to wake mummy,” he said, seeing Theo nod his head. He extended his arms out for his dad, wanting him to pick him up. Tom carefully scooped him out of bed, trying his hardest not to wake you from your peaceful sleep.

Theo wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck in one of his hugs, giving Tom a chance to look over his shoulder and finally admire your sleeping figure. Just you this time, no toddler cuddled up to you obscuring part of his view.

He admired all the things he used to- well, still does love about you. The way your eyelashes rested just above your cheeks, the way your lips parted just making him want to constantly kiss you. The way the sun shining through the window perfectly illuminated your face, making you look like a perfect angel. He took a few steps closer, just enough to brush some hair out of your face that looked like it was bothering you. Even the simple touch had you nuzzling your cheek, subconsciously, into the warmth of his hand, having missed his touch, even if you’d refuse to admit it when you were awake.

“Daddy?” Theo whispered, taking his note of trying not to wake you up.

“What’s up, bug?” he asked, turning his head to look at him. He always felt it was like looking into a time machine. You were convinced right from the day he was born that he didn’t get any of your features, looking like a clone of Tom when he was a toddler. But Tom was always adamant that Theo got your personality and mannerisms.

“I’m hungry,” he pouted, resting his tired head on his shoulder.

“Let’s go find you something to eat,” he said, following the hospital signs that pointed in the direction of the café.

Tom, stupidly, didn’t think to leave you a note to tell you that he’d arrived, or that he’d just taken Theo for food.

You didn’t really remember falling asleep in the uncomfortable hospital bed, nor did you remember Tom pulling a blanket over you and Theo in the middle of the night, or Tom even arriving for that matter.

You opened your eyes, groaning quietly as you were pulled out of your sleep. You turned your head to see if your son was awake, which you had no doubts he would be, but you frowned when you noticed he was no longer even in the bed, the sheets now cold on his side.

You sat up, looking around the room to find you were completely alone, except there was now an unfamiliar bag sitting next to the door. Your motherly instincts kicked in and you began to panic not knowing the whereabouts of your baby.

You were about to call for a nurse, asking if she’d seen him when Tom walked through the door with your son perched on his hip, laughing loudly as he nibbled on a sandwich.

“Oh thank god,” you said, taking Theo from Tom’s arms into your own. You kissed his head, running your hands over his hair.

“I didn’t know where you were,” you whined, glancing up at Tom. Theo nuzzled closer to you, his silent way of telling you he was here.

“That was my fault, sorry, he was hungry so I-“ This time you were the one to cut Tom off before he could finish his sentence.

“It’s okay, just scared me s’all.” Theo tucked his head into your neck, his small hand still clinging on to his food. After a few minutes, your heart had calmed down, reminding you that he still hadn’t eaten.

“Okay, go and eat buddy.” You let him down, watching him scurry off back to his bed where he had a little table he could eat on. You watched him for a couple seconds, making sure he was okay before turning back around to face Tom.

“Hi.” He said, staring right at you, that oh so familiar face looking as perfect and handsome as he had the first time you met.

“Hi Tom,” you said back. There was a painfully awkward tension between you both, one that could’ve been cut with a knife. Neither of you really knew what to speak about, both of you trying to start a conversation at exactly the same time, something that only made it even more awkward.

“You go first,” he said, trying to be polite.

“When did you get here?” you asked. You noticed the bags under his eyes, feeling yourself start to worry about him, but part of you told you to stop.

“Just after four, they almost didn’t let me in,” he explained. You nodded your head, nervously fiddling with a loose thread on your shirt.

“Well, he seems pretty glad that you’re here Tom,” you said, flashing him a nervous smile.

“H-how do you feel?” he asked, “About me being here?” It was silent for a few minutes. Tom was nervous, immediately regretting even asking as soon as the question came out of his mouth.

“I’m happy you’re here too.” His eyes widened in shock, taken aback by that answer. He smiled, his heart beginning to beat slightly faster.

Neither of you said anything more as you entered Theo's room, choosing to make small conversation with the boy about anything and everything, rather than with each other.

At some point in the afternoon Theo had grown sleepy, crawling under the blanket to take a nap. It was now just you and Tom sitting in yet another awkward silence. You were sitting in the chair next to his bed, making sure you were there if he needed you for anything. Tom was sitting across from you in another chair, watching you interact with your son. He noticed you visibly shiver in your thin, short sleeved shirt, rubbing your arms to try and warm yourself up.

“Are you cold?” Tom asked, almost rhetorically as he pulled off his own jacket and wrapped the material around your shivering frame.

“Thank you, I-I was in such a rush when I left, that I guess I forgot.” He nodded, flashing you a tight lipped, awkward smile. The tension in the air was uncomfortable, neither of you really daring to speak up.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he said, his eyes filled with regret. You tried to tell him it was fine, but you could feel your emotions rising in your throat, making it harder to keep them down.

He could see you breaking down inside just through your eyes, and he didn’t know how long you’d been holding this in. You took a glance at Theo to make sure he was asleep before looking back to your ex-lover.

“Fuck Tom, I was a mess, I-I had to call my mum and ask her to sort the house for me,” you cried, burying your head in your hands. His heart broke, a mental debate going on in his head about whether he should go over there to comfort you or stay sitting in his chair across from you.

He definitely didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with his presence but he also hated seeing you cry like this.

He eventually decided to help, coming over and wrapping his arms around you timidly. He was shocked when you curled into his chest, tightening his hold on you and running his hand over your hair. To make it easier for you both, you switched places. Tom letting you curl up into his lap on the chair.

“Shh, it’s okay, he’s okay,” he said. He didn’t know if he was convincing you or himself though. His voice was calming to you, somehow bringing your tears to a slow stop as he whispered sweet words to you. Just being like this with him reminded you of all the times you’d spent together dating, normally in more positive circumstances than this.

“Why don’t I call my mum or someone, have her come here and watch him, and I’ll take you home for a little bit.” You nodded your head gratefully, tucking your face into his neck as he pulled out his phone.

The phone call between Nikki and her son was rather quick, the woman agreeing to come and watch Theo with no hesitation, especially after Tom had explained the whole hospital situation that only made you tear up again.

“Thank you,” you whimpered quietly. He nodded his head, kissing your temple lightly.

“Of course.”

You were still sitting in his lap with Tom rubbing his hand up and down your back when Nikki walked in, not even half an hour later.

“Hello,” she greeted, trying to hide her grin at the scene in front of her. If you weren’t going to fall back in love like she’d hoped, at least you were on talking terms.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said, getting up to wrap her in a tight hug. She told you that it was no problem, ushering you both out, making a playful comment that you smelled bad. You scoffed, feigning offense, even if you knew she was partially right.

Tom drove you home in your car, back to the home the two of you once shared together. It was silent on the way there, not even the radio turned on for just some form of noise. It was quite emotional for Tom walking back inside the house, looking around and seeing everything was pretty much identical to how it was when he left. His mind replaying all the memories you both shared in different places all over the house.

“Do you want anything?” you asked. He simply asked for a glass of water and you nodded, heading over to the kitchen. It made you frown slightly, remembering what had happened here only the day before. You quickly filled up the glass and then headed back to where Tom was standing, admiring the living room with a tiny grin.

“Why are you smiling?” you asked. He turned his head in your direction, not even realising he had been smiling, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

“I don’t really know, i-it just hasn’t changed,” he said. You could still see traces of a grin as you handed him a glass of water, telling him you were going to take a quick shower.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you said, heading up the stairs to finally have a moment to yourself for the first time in two days.

You didn’t take very long. Taking a quick shower like you said and then drying your hair so you didn’t catch a cold in the winter weather. You got Theo’s stuffed bear that he sleeps with, his blanket and then some new pyjamas for him and you were ready to head back.

“Got everything?” he asked. You nodded, handing him the bear and taking the car keys from him.

“I want to drive,” you stated. You didn’t really know why, but a part of you just wanted to. Tom didn’t argue with you, following you out to the car and climbing into the passenger side.

There was a brief conversation this time around, however still not much, the silence filled with more awkward tension.

“Is this the bear I got him when he was born?” he asked, playing with the small piece of ribbon that was tied around its neck.

“Yeah, he loves it,” you told him. You noticed him wipe away a stray tear that ran down his cheek, making your heart pang in your chest. You reached over the console of the car with your hand, lacing your fingers with his while keeping your eyes on the road. His eyes widened and he stared at you, heart filled with hope, your eyes never glancing over in his direction.

It felt like Deja-vu arriving back at the hospital, except this time you knew where you were going. You entered the room to Nikki sitting quietly beside your still sleeping son, a smile spreading across her face, the woman noting how much better you looked already.

“I should start heading home.” She gave you another tight hug, Tom offering to walk her out because of the now darkened night sky. You bid her a simple goodbye, waiting until they were out of your sight to head over to your boy.

So while Tom went to take his mum to her car, you planned on giving Theo his bear, gently cooing to wake him up.

“Mummy?” he asked groggily. You smiled, handing him his bear and kissing his head.

“You can go back to sleep now, bub.” He hummed, nuzzling his head into the soft fur of the stuffed animal. You also placed the soft blanket over top of him, knowing the thin hospital sheet did little to keep him warm.

“Thank you.” He whispered, adding a quiet goodnight that made your heart swell.

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

                                                       <<<>>>

The next morning, you were informed by his nurse that Theo needed blood tests and some other evaluations to check everything was okay. You knew it was going to be a long day for the four year old so you tried your best to plan out in your head where he could take quick naps in between his check-ups to keep him energized enough.

He didn’t seem fazed by the information when you told him, having no negative experience to relate to having any kind of needle; at least not that he can remember.

Unfortunately for him though, the blood tests were first, meaning he was going to have to deal with a sore arm all day.

The three of you were guided by a nurse to a small office, one with all different kinds of confusing machines that you didn’t know about.

You helped Theo up onto the examination table, still standing close by.

“Mummy?” he asked, his big brown eyes staring up at you nervously.

“Yeah, bub?” you asked, kneeling down so you were just a bit lower than him sitting on the table.

“Can I sit in your lap?” he asked, nervously fidgeting with his hands..

After checking with the nurse, you nodded your head. “Of course you can, come here.” You helped him climb into your lap, sitting with his back against your chest and your arms around his stomach. Tom stayed near the door, ready to leave if it got too much for him; he never was very good with needles, or seeing Theo cry.

The woman explained to Theo that she was just taking blood for them to examine and find out what was wrong. He nodded his head enthusiastically, ready to let her do what she needed.

She prepared what she needed while Tom nervously bit at his nails, seeing the reassuring smile you sent his way.

“This is going to hurt a little bit buddy,” she said, finally pressing the needle to the vein in his skin. Tom winced even before Theo did. The boy clearly hated the feeling, beginning to cry softly from the pain of the syringe in his arm.

You saw Tom struggling in the corner, tears welling up in his own eyes as he watched his son squirm in pain.

“You’re okay, bub,” you whispered reassuringly, kissing his head and his cheek, trying to calm him down enough for the woman to take the blood safely. When she’d gotten what she needed she took the needle out, cleaning up his skin and letting him choose a themed plaster.

“Which one would you like?” she asked, showing him his options. His eyes widened and any trace of sadness was gone, pointing straight to the blue and red masked figure.

“Can I have a Spiderman one, please?” he asked. You giggled, seeing her nod her head. She gently flattened it over his skin, making sure it was properly stuck down.

“You can go back to your room, we’ll run some tests and then we’ll be with you as soon as we can.” She informed you both. You nodded your head, helping him off your lap and letting him take Tom’s still sweaty hand.

“Hey, Theo,” you cooed, bending down to his height. He looked at you with a small smile, letting you wipe the drying tears from his face. “That wasn’t so bad was it?” you asked. He shook his head, showing you his plaster again.

“ ‘Cause I’m a big boy, mummy.” You smiled, nodding your head.

“And, you’re just as strong as Spider-Man,”

you whispered.

“And Hulk?” he asked in a tiny voice.

“Even stronger than Hulk,” you confirmed. He giggled, letting go of his dad’s hand to wrap his arms around your neck, being careful of his sore one. You rubbed his back, continuing to praise him for how good he was. You didn’t notice how Tom was staring at you with complete adoration. His heart was melting seeing you interact with your son like this, having gone without witnessing it in person for a while.

He ran back to Tom, gripping his hand and showing off his Spider-Man band aid to his dad proudly. You smiled, shaking your head, following behind them as they walked back to his room.

He was already used to the routine by now, running to his bed when you all entered the room.

“Okay bud, we’ve got a couple hours until they do some more testing, d ’you wanna take a nap or watch a film with me and daddy?” He sat quietly as he thought about it, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration so he could make the right choice.

“Can we watch Iron man?” he asked. You nodded your head, knowing that was one of Tom’s favourites as well and he’d be more than happy to agree. He jumped down, clinging to you while Tom set up the film on his computer.

You grabbed the fluffy blanket you’d brought the day prior, throwing it over your laps to help you get comfortable enough to watch the two hour film. He cheered quietly when it started, being scooped up into Tom’s lap so the two could quietly talk about it, something that had always annoyed you.

You knew it was going to happen, barely even halfway through the movie Theo had started to fall asleep in Tom’s lap, his head resting on his chest. His head kept falling, making him snap his eyes awake and pretend as if he was still watching the film playing on the laptop.

You giggled, trying to tame his messy hair with your fingers.

Tom eventually placed his large hand on Theo’s head, basically smushing his cheek against his chest, softly stroking his bedhead, helping to keep him in place so he could fall asleep. His other arm was around his back, making sure he didn’t fall backwards off his leg.

“He’s missed you.” you said after a while, catching Tom’s attention, forcing him to move his eyes off his sleeping son to look at you. He smiled, kissing the top of his head.

“I missed him too,” he admitted. You and Tom watched as much as you could of the film, checking the time every so often.

Fifteen minutes before his next set of tests were due to start, Tom gently cooed the boy awake, with soft whispers and kisses to his head. He whined, trying to hide his face and fall back to sleep.

“No, no, you’ve got to wake up bub,” he said. Theo begrudgingly opened his eyes, lifting his hand to rub the sleep from them and look at his surroundings.

“ ‘m tired.” You pouted at him, leaning forward to try and tame his messy curls.

“I know, but you can take another nap later.”

The rest of the day dragged on for the boy. He was practically a zombie by the time he was finally able to go to bed, even with the frequent naps.

You had once again taken the seat beside his bed, running your fingers through his messy hair to try and soothe him to sleep quicker.

He was out like a light in minutes, cuddling even deeper into the pillow.

You let out a sigh, slowly moving away from him to lean back in the chair, realising just how uncomfortable you were. Your constant shifting caught Tom’s attention, his gaze burning holes through you, making your face flush.

You noticed Tom trying to keep his eyes open, looking like a little puppy every time he’d slowly shake his head, trying to shake away the impending sleep.

“Hey.” you whispered, catching his attention, again. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

He shook his head, assuring you he was fine. You rolled your eyes at his blatant stubbornness, remembering this is how he’d always been.

“Why are you so stubborn?” you asked, not meaning for it to come out of your mouth sounding so vicious.

“I wanna stay and talk to you.” You were convinced your heart had stopped beating. You cocked your head in confusion.

“You do?” you asked. He nodded his head, a small smile on his lips as he watched you get over the initial shock you were in.

“Well, what do you want to talk about?” His smile faded, worry forming in the pit of your stomach.

“C-can we talk about us?” he asked, his voice sounding just as unconvincing as his body language looked. You took pity on him, slipping your hand into his, the one that was resting in his lap.

“I guess, but what is there to talk about?” Tom seemed defeated already by your unenthusiastic answer, it sounded to him like you didn’t want this, but after seeing you again yesterday, he was determined to win you back.

“I never really apologized for everything I did,” he said. “I was a dick, and then I just left you both.” You’d spent months hating Tom for him just leaving you with a toddler, but looking at his face now, you could tell he felt awful.

“I want to do better, be a better dad-“ You cut him off, shaking your head.

“You’re an amazing dad.” You saw the hint of a smile when your words registered in his head.

“I want to be better to you, Y/N.” You froze, staring into those brown eyes, trying to see if he meant it. “I’m so, so, sorry, for everything I did,” he whispered.

Over the course of his apology he had managed to shuffle closer to you. Your knees now touched, preventing him from coming any further forward.

“Do you ever think you could give me another chance?” he asked, almost scared to know the answer. You took a deep breath, squeezing his hand.

“Only if you can promise me one thing.” You explained. Tom’s eyes widened, his heart beginning to race.

“Anything,” he mumbled, fully prepared to dedicate himself to you and your child.

“Please come home.” It wasn’t a difficult decision for time this time around like it was the first time. As soon as he saw your puppy dog eyes, he was sold. He rapidly nodded his head, making a mental note to deal with work later.

He reached his hand up, cupping your cheek, seeing you nuzzle your face closer to his touch. You placed your own hand on top of his, turning your head to place a quick kiss on his palm.

“I know i fucked up, big time,” he reiterated, emphasising the big time and pausing for a minute, rubbing his free hand over his mouth. You watched him intently, the thing that was probably making him most nervous.

“But, do you think we could try again?” Your silence scared him. He didn’t know if he’d ever been this worried to hear an answer from someone.

“Yeah, I think we could give it a go.” Tom grinned, his cheeks flushing a light pink shade. He couldn’t wait a second longer, leaning in to press his lips onto yours. The kiss was perfect. Slow, passionate, everything you’d missed since you’d broken up. “But you’re going to have to prove you’re sorry,” you said.

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he promised. “I’m really glad to have you back,” he whispered, his forehead leaning on yours and his hand massaging the back of your head. Part of you was screaming that you shouldn’t have taken him back that quickly, but the other part of you had been waiting for him for two years, and you were so happy to have him back.

“Me too.” The moment wasn’t very long lived

after you heard the blankets on the hospital bed rustle, turning your head to see Theo pushing himself into a sitting position. “I think someone else will be too.”

The little boy stared at you both in confusion, not understanding what you were referring to, or why you were suddenly so close again.

“C’mere buddy,” Tom said, motioning for Theo to climb into his arms. The boy climbed down from the bed with minimal struggle, running towards Tom and colliding with him with a loud giggle. Tom made a grunting noise, whining about how strong Theo was and how that hurt.

The boy just laughed at his dad, telling him to stop being silly.

“Do you want to tell him?” Tom asked. You shook your head, flashing him a smile.

“You got this,” you said. Theo looked between you both confused, having no idea what you were talking about, but the nosey part of him really wanted to know. Tom grabbed the boy’s full attention.

“So, daddy’s going to be coming home, is that okay with you?” His eyes widened, his head whipping in your direction, silently asking if it was true. You nodded, your heart melting as tears welled up in his brown eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Tom cooed, rubbing his back as he buried his head in his dad’s chest. He glanced at you, unsure what to do in this situation.

“He’s just happy.” Theo nodded, agreeing with what you said.

“Things are finally going to go back to normal.” You chose not to mention anything about a possible diagnosis with Theo, something that would be far from normal, instead just choosing to soak up the moment, rather than burst your bubble and ruin it.

“Thank you,” you whispered, watching as Tom’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“For what?” You smiled, kissing his cheek and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“For coming home.” He chuckled, kissing his son’s head and then yours.

“You two are my home, no matter where I am.”

                                                         <<<>>>

The morning that the doctors announced they had Theo’s results were nerve wracking to say the least. You were panicking almost all day, knee bouncing, driving Tom insane, your hands shaking out of fear. Tom tried to calm you down to the best of his ability, telling you to take deep breaths, holding you or just your hands and constantly trying to reassure you that you needed to be positive. If not for your own sake, at least for Theo’s.

The boy himself had no idea what was happening, he was just happy to be in his mother’s arms more than he usually was, purely because you refused to let go of him.

“Y/N, you have to put him down,” Tom said, trying to pry the boy from your arms. You pouted, scowling at Tom as he took Theo away from you.

“I’m only taking him to the bathroom, we’ll be right back,” he promised, softly kissing your lips before taking him out of the room. You sat down on the hospital bed with a sigh, picking up his teddy and beginning to fiddle with the ribbon tied into a bow around its neck.

You were too in your own head, thinking, to notice Tom come back. You jumped when his hands slid onto your shoulders, turning your head to see his sympathetic expression.

“I know this is hard, but please, just for him,” you nodded, trying your best to put on a brave face for him.

You spent the next few hours watching one of Theo’s favourite cartoons, one you’d seen a million times before, the time seeming to pass by ridiculously slowly for you. Tom was laughing along to the children’s show, making you roll your eyes and cuddle closer to him. It wasn’t until halfway through, possibly the thousandth episode, that the nurse finally entered the room, saving you the torture of having to watch another episode of the cartoon again.

“We’re ready for you,” she smiled. Tom instructed you to take a few deep breaths.

They led the three of you to an office to discuss, letting you take a seat and having Theo sitting comfortably in his dad’s lap.

It felt like you were in there for hours. You knew you should’ve been listening to what they were saying but you couldn’t concentrate at all.

You were pretty sure the woman had started by explaining the reason Theo had fainted and reacted like he did a few days prior. Everything was falling on deaf ears to you, just sounding like muffled noise coming from another room.

Tom was nodding along with what she was saying, asking the occasional question that let you know that at least he was listening. Your four year old was playing with the loose strings of Tom’s hoodie, wrapping them around his fingers and trying to make them curl. It was unfortunately the only thing he had to amuse him right now. Tom hadn’t noticed you weren’t listening, or that your eyes were focusing on your baby boy.

Theo noticed though, turning to you and flashing you a gappy smile that in return made you smile.

It felt like your heart was pounding but simultaneously wasn’t even beating, in this moment you were too scared to.

They’d obviously brought up something about the test results, Tom suddenly reaching over to take a hold of your hand, kissing the top of Theo’s head for comfort.

Tom’s sweaty hand was gripping yours like a vice, you were glad that he was here and he’d flown in, because if it was bad news, you don’t think you could do it alone.

Your mind went blank, not registering any medical words she said until you recognised the two words that made your heart begin to beat again.

“He’s okay.”

You let out a breath of relief, turning to Tom with a grin. He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a quick hug before showering the little boy in kisses.

You carefully lifted him from Tom’s lap, taking him in your arms to give him the tightest hug you could muster. The doctor explained that you were then free to go, letting you go back to collect your baby's stuff and tell him the good news.

“I hope we never have to do this again,” you mumbled, laying your head on Tom’s chest. His hand came up to run over the back of your head, placing a gentle kiss on your crown. 

“Me too, but look on the Brightside,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips, “We got our family back.”

You smiled softly, nodding your head against his chest. “Yeah, I guess we did.” You and Tom both turned your heads to look at your energetic baby boy, happy to finally be allowed to take him home again.

“Are you ready to go home, bub?” you asked. You saw his eyes light up, his head nodding rapidly as he clutched your hand. He grabbed his teddy bear, leaving you and Tom grabbed the rest of his stuff.

The three of you left the hospital for what was hopefully the last time. Theo practically skipped to the car, telling you both how excited he was to sleep in his own bed again. Your heart was warm as you looked at your little family, completely over the moon to have them back.

The first thing Theo did when he got home was rush upstairs to his room, telling you he was going to take a nap in his own bed. You shook your head with a smile, feeling Tom’s arms wrap around you. He guided you to the couch, throwing his arm around your shoulders. He started to look around again like he had the other day, taking it all in.

“It feels really good to be home.” You grinned at him, practically attacking him with a sweet kiss. He laughed, letting you pin him down on the couch playfully. “I still can’t believe I gave this up, he said, pushing a few strands of loose hair behind your ears.

“Don’t think about it now, okay?” He nodded, straining his neck to kiss you again.

“Mummy, daddy?” Your head perked up at the sound of the little voice, turning your head to see him coming down the stairs. You climbed off of Tom, giving him the opportunity to sit up.

“I thought you were taking a nap bub?” He pouted, clutching his bear to his chest.

“Will you come with me, just until I fall asleep?” You nodded your head, not giving Tom a chance to answer before you were tugging him with you. Tom scooped him up, carrying the tired baby in his arms.

“Why don’t we get in Mummy and Daddy’s bed,” you said. Tom tried to conceal his smile at what you’d called it, happy you were so ready for things to go back to how they were.

Theo climbed in your bed first, laying right in the middle with a sleepy grin. You got in after, watching Tom stop to take in how much the room had changed.

“I pretty much got rid of everything that reminded me of you,” you explained. He frowned, nodding his head and climbing under the covers of the bed. “ ‘m sorry,” you said.

He shook his head, grabbed your hand to press a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“I deserved it,” you giggled, nodding your head. Your eyes were locked on each other.

“You kind of did.” Theo made a sound of disapproval between you both, trying to get you attention to be on him.

“Sorry bub, were we not paying attention to you?” He shook his head, laying it on your chest just under your chin. You smiled, your heart melting at his affection.

“Goodnight angel,” you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. He curled deeper into your chest, a smile spreading across your face.

“Goodnight, little man.” Tom gently ran his hand over the back of Theo’s head, earning a hum in response from the boy.

“You know,” you started, keeping your voice quiet so the boy could sleep, “I’m pretty tired too.” You yawned. Tom threw his arm over you both, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, keeping Theo tucked securely between you two.

He chuckled at your sudden sleepiness, lifting his hand to run through your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to fall asleep.” You tried to bite back your smile, feeling him shrug his shoulders playfully.

“S’okay, go to sleep.” He smiled, nuzzling his nose into the top of your head.

“Will you be here when we wake up?” you asked, sounding like a scared child.

“I’ll always be here, now and forever baby.”

tom holland taglist - @seutarose @lmaotshollandd @photoshopart15 @hopelessly-harry @drie-the-derp @bvttercupbby​ @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @geminiparkers @blossomparkers @siriuslyslyslytherin​ @musicalkeys​ @itstaskeen​ @icyhollands​ @tpwk-grande​ @zspideyy​ @chrisosterfield​ @starkweasley @givebuckyhisplumsnow​ @lowkey-holland​ @hollandcrush​ @wizkiddx​ @sannie-san-shine​ @sonnydoesrandomshit​

[missymurphy1985]

Nobody's Perfect (part 6)

Warnings - smut / slight breeding kink maybe?

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers

The morning light woke you gently, alongside a soft hand caressing your waist. It tickled the skin lightly, followed by gentle kisses on the back of your neck making you shudder.

"Morning you..." He whispered.

"Morning... Love waking up next to you.."

"We can do this every morning, there's nothing stopping us now."

"You're really going to talk to Steve?"

"Absolutely. It'll be fine, I promise."

"Should I come too?"

"I don't see why not." You turned round to face him, your legs becoming entangled in his.

"You'd really do this for me? Because you know you don't have to, right? I will happily walk away from Peaky if it makes your life easier?"

"Shut up..." He silenced you with a kiss and smiled. "It's happening. I texted him last night. I'm seeing him in an hour."

"We best get ready then.. god I'm nervous..."

"Shut up..." He laughed and kissed you again. "We talk to Steve, film our last scenes, do this wrap party tonight and fly to Ireland together tomorrow morning. How's that sound?"

"Perfect Mr Murphy."

You sat in Steve's trailer an hour later and glanced at Cillian nervously. Steve emerged with a coffee for each of you and sat opposite you both.

"Must be important if you've called to see me alone Cill on the last day of filming, what's going on?"

"You've heard the rumours?" Cillian asked. Steve nodded.

"Well they're true. We're together. Have been since the start of series 1. And I appreciate you might not find it professional, or appropriate given the 20 year age gap, and the press are going to eat us alive, and the focus might be taken away from the show - " Steve raised his hand to silence him.

"Cillian I'm not daft, nor am I blind. The sly glances at each other? Spending time with each other off set? You're the most reclusive person I know, and you're actually socialising with people.. I knew something was going on. As for how I feel about it.."

You reached for Cillian's hand and Steve smiled.

"It's wonderful. Truly wonderful. You two are perfect together, you know that? On screen, your chemistry is something else - the fans will adore the fact you're a real life couple."

"What about James?" You asked, squeezing Cillian's hand. Cillian then told him what James had been doing, threatening with the press and telling y/n it was going to ruin her career, she wouldn't be in series 2...

"He's an idiot. Only hired him because his dad is my best friend. I'll speak to him y/n. You'll be in series 2, there's no doubt about that. Cillian's executive producer, can't exactly bin his girlfriend off now can I?" He laughed. Cillian smiled at you. You blushed at being called Cillian's girlfriend.

"Told you he'd be fine, didn't I?"

Your final scene was ready to go - Clara's wedding night with Tommy. The two of you were stripped and sat on the bed together, wearing just a robe each to cover yourselves while the director cleared the set of any unnecessary people - privacy was always key in scenes like this. Just Anto and the cameraman remained as you both climbed under the duvet and removed the robes. Cillian now behind you. You sniggered slightly at the thick, padded underwear you were wearing. The bump you wore tightly wrapped and concealed to hide the straps holding it in place. Cillian leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"We need to do this in one take, because I don't think I'll be able to control myself if we have to do it twice..."

"Hmm... That sounds interesting... Be a shame if I messed it up, wouldn't it..."

"Not funny..." He chuckled, just as the director called Action.

His body moved against yours, as you groaned. He stayed silent - typical Tommy mode now. You felt his hands underneath the duvet, where others couldn't see, snaking over your hips and thighs, squeezing lightly. Burying his face in your hair, he whispered into you so no one could hear him.

"You're getting it so fucking hard when we're back at the hotel... You're not gonna be able to walk straight when I'm done with you..."

His words only turned you on more - you had to fight to remain as Clara so as not to arouse suspicion but you could feel your core throbbing with need.

You were desperate for Anto to call cut, and luckily it wasn't long before he did. You put your game face on and redressed into the robe, Cillian doing the same with his. Finishing up a few things with Anto, he winked at you and headed out. You bit your lip in anticipation of what awaited you back in your hotel room.

You unlocked the door to find him sat on the sofa watching TV. He tilted his head to you and smiled as you made your way over to the other side of the room, hanging your dress bag on the wardrobe and makeup bag, straighteners and hairdryer on the dressing table.

"You know you don't need all that, don't you?" He said, eyes all over you as you sat next to him on the sofa. You leaned into him and linked your hand into his.

"So you say.. I need it to make me look less tired!"

"Something keeping you awake all night y/n?"

"More like someone..."

"Who's that then?"

"This hot older guy... Dark hair, piercing blue eyes... he promised me a good time earlier.." you moved your body slowly onto his lap. He brought his hands up your legs, resting them on your hips.

"Did he now... What did he say to you?"

"He said I wouldn't be able to walk after he's done with me..." He lifted you off him and back onto the sofa, lifting your t-shirt over your head and kissing down your neck. You lifted your hips to allow him to pull them, and your underwear, down, throwing them to the side of the room. Placing small kisses on the inside of your thigh, as his hand squeezed the other, approaching your core slowly making you squirm underneath him.

"Fuck... Cillian..." You arched your back, aching for him. You gasped as his tongue found your clit, circling over it slowly, pushing a finger inside you, pumping it gently. You hands in his hair, urging him on.

"You taste fucking incredible, I'm gonna make you come so hard..." His words turning you on further, as he continued his attack on your clit, two fingers pumping into you now, moving around inside you until he felt you flinch. Found it.

Your core was on fire as he pushed that spot inside harder, increasing the pressure and speed of his tongue, making you writhe against him. You couldn't help but ride your hips against his face as your orgasm built up quickly.

"Cill... Cill... Jesus..." Breathy little whimpers of his name were all you could manage, as you came hard, your juices flowing and coating his chin, dropping onto the floor underneath you. He grinned against your mound, arching his finger upwards again making you shudder. He eased out and pressed his lips against your belly, sighing softly.

You pulled him up to kiss you, before he pulled you to your feet and moved you both to the bed.

"I promised you wouldn't be able to walk..." He whispered in your ear as your fingers pulled at the buttons on his jeans.

"Give me what you've got baby..." He pulled his jeans and boxers down, opening your legs, lining his erection against you. You were soaked, and he thrust inside powerfully making you scream and clutch the bedposts behind you. No build up, just pure, primal thrusts.

"Fuck.. seeing you with that bump today did things to me I didn't expect..."

He turned you slightly on your side, legs together. Fingers digging into your hips and thigh, sure to leave bruises but you didn't care - you were crying his name, begging for more.

"One day Cillian... I promise you that..."

He lay you flat again, bringing his body down to yours, kissing you softly, his thrusts pausing for a second.

"Needed a minute, the thought of you being pregnant nearly sent me over the edge for a second there..." You chuckled before clenching your core around him.

His thrusts picked up again, as his lips found your neck. His pace slower now, but you weren't complaining. His thrusts were now slower, more passionate. Your hands wrapped round his shoulders as he moved.

"You feel so good... You're perfect..." Your mouth kissed his neck, leaving little bites and sucks as you felt your orgasm approach.

"Oh god... Cill, I'm gonna..." He lifted his body from yours so he could watch you unravel underneath him, his thrusts speeding up a little to get you there.

"Do it.. come on... Keep looking at me..." Your back arched, calling his name as he came with you, never once taking his eyes from yours. As your breathing came back to normal, he rested his forehead on yours.

"Fuck that was good.." you sighed as he fell next to you on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm well aware you can still walk, I'll make it up to you," he laughed.

"Don't be daft, that was perfect. Now though, we have a party to get ready for. Come on, shower time." You got up and pulled him into the ensuite.

************************************************************

Stepping out of Cork airport, you clutched Cillian's hand as you walked towards the waiting taxi. A few people had recognised him, but no one bothered him thankfully, both of you were still dealing with slight hangovers from the party the night before.

"You okay?" He asked as you got into the taxi.

"I'm nervous Cill, what if they don't like me?"

"What? You're insane, they're gonna love you as much as I do. I'm sorry we need to do the whole 'meet the parents' thing so soon." He kissed the back of your hand. Giving the driver his parents' address, you headed over there. It was his sister's wedding that weekend, you were attending as his plus one.

Arriving at his family home and unloading the taxi of your bags, he squeezed your hand tight before opening the door to the house.

"Cillian!!" A young, dark haired woman ran at him after the door opened and threw her arms round him. He held her tight, lifting her off the floor slightly. Putting her back down, he turned to you.

"Silé.. this is y/n. Thanks for letting me add her to the list."

"So good to meet you!!" She hugged you, a genuine, warm hug that instantly made you relax. "Come on, everyone's in the garden. Drop your bags in the living room for now, we'll sort them later!"

The garden was full of family members, all hugging Cillian and you in turn. Easily the most welcoming family you'd ever met, there was no awkwardness, it was like they'd known you for years.

"The Irish know how to make people feel welcome, y/n." He whispered in your ear before being distracted by a child's voice screaming at him.

"Unc Cill!! Unc Cill!" He turned to see the three year old running full speed at him and just about caught him before he ran into his legs. Lifting him up in the air, he blew raspberries on his belly, making him giggle before bringing him in for a cuddle.

"Missed you little dude. Wanna meet someone special?" The little boy nodded, glancing at you.

"This is y/n. Y/n, meet my nephew Dylan. My brother's youngest."

"Well hello there handsome man, I can see you got the Murphy eyes too!" He suddenly reached for you, taking you by surprise as you took him out of Cillian's arms and he wrapped his round your neck, giving you a huge hug. You could see Cillian beaming, as his brother Padraig brought you both a glass of champagne each, laughing at his son squeezing the life out of you before taking him.

"Wow, you're a strong boy!!" You coughed, taking a sip of the champagne.

"You're a natural, clearly." Cillian winked, clinking his glass against yours and wrapping his arm over your shoulder. You sank into his body, smiling as Cillian's Dad tired to fire up the barbecue.

Looking round at the whole family, who'd welcomed you completely and without question, you couldn't help but smile. You knew your future was here - with him. You didn't care about the press backlash you knew was coming, all that mattered was you were together. Everything else paled in significance.

"Someone help me light this fecking thing will ye?" His dad shouting in his thick Cork accent made everyone laugh, as Cillian and his brother rolled their eyes and made their way over to take over. Cillian's mum led you by the arm to sit with her and Cillian's sisters.

"He's a useless arse when it comes to cooking - needs to leave it to our boys!" She laughed, topping up your glass.

"Oh, Cillian can cook, can he?" You smirked.

"That he can, taught him myself - don't be believing him when he says he can't either!"

"Noted, absolutely noted."

You spent the next few hours with the ladies, them happily telling you stories of Cillian's childhood as Cillian watched from a distance, smiling yet slightly concerned at why the four of you were laughing.

You saw Padraig pull Cillian away later on that evening and you watched them head into the kitchen on their own. Cillian returned around 10 minutes later rubbing his eyes and visibly a touch shaken. You made your way over.

"You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost?"

"Listen, there's something you need to know, and you're not gonna like it y/n." He pulled you into the kitchen and checked you were alone.

"Liane might be there tomorrow. At the wedding."

"What?"

"She's Silé's fiance, Damien's, sister. Damien had practically disowned her after what she'd done to me. But she knows I'll be there, and she's been threatening to turn up."

You took a deep breath before pulling his hands onto your waist.

"She clearly isn't interested in you any more though, so why would she?"

"Because she is still interested in me. She hasn't stopped trying to contact me since we divorced, trying to get me to go back to her. Mark dropped her ass and went back to his wife. She wants us back together. I should have told you earlier..."

"Wouldn't have stopped me coming Cillian."

"Really?"

"Really. Remember the scene we filmed when Tommy's ex showed up? Clara spent the scene making sure Tommy had eyes only for her?" He nodded.

"Game on Mr Murphy - you're mine now and I'm not allowing a cheating little scrat like her ruin a damn thing."

"You're amazing. You know that?"

"I know. Love you."

"Love you more."

[alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94]

Work You Out (M)

Authors: @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94 and @nomunamuinmybrain​ 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader 

Rating: M 

Disclaimer: Everything marked as M includes explicit content. Do not read if you are under 18 years of age.

Genre: Slice of Life/ Idol AU/ Smut 

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook's manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawine and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Notes: Hello!! That's another installment of the imaginary scenarios myself and my best friend @nomunamuinmybrain​ come up with while driving by the coast line. This oneshot is going to be cross-posted on her profile too. Enjoy!!

Word Count: 2.4K

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Braaaaaaains...

Jason Todd is legally – and biologically – dead. His family noted his lack of pulse at three in the morning, inside the cave, his body laid out on a table with medical instruments.

No, really, tell him something he doesn't know.

What else crawls out of a grave moaning and groaning?

Or, Jason thought his family full of the world's greatest detectives was smarter than this. Apparently not.

****************************************************************

It had been an ordinary night. Calm. The stage for very little costumed crime and barely more regular, non-insane crime as well. Half the menagerie that made up Dick's loving ragtag bunch of younger siblings had even taken the night off.

Nothing should have make him arrive to silence this thick, to this faint echo of sniffling.

He sprinted after the noise.

Damian's fine, left before me. Duke didn't go out, nor did Steph. Babs spent the evening with Cass in the cave, Tim swept the bowery and said he was going to stop by Jason's place to-

He collided with a shaking, tear stained Tim right outside the medbay.

There was a body on the closest table. Others around it, crying, pacing, muttering in denial.

Dick couldn't look.

No, no, please, please no. I can't do that again. I can't!

Scarred skin, too pale – to be Duke or Cass – by death. His breath hitched. No. He. Fuck.

He knew those scars. Those arms. That chest and that fucking Y from navel to shoulders.

“Dick! Jason... he was...  I found him in his apartment. And I brought him to the cave... but... Jason doesn't have a pulse. He's... cold...”

Dick stumbled.

No.

No, no, no, that... that couldn't be real.

He caught himself on his little brother. Brought himself into a hug too tight, as painful as the arms gripping his ribs and back. A grip meant for a lifesaving light at sea. For a safeline over a ravine.

Twice. He'd lost the same brother twice. And this time, he didn't even have the excuse of inexperience and unstable situations. He... he patrolled the city whilst his brother was dead, completely oblivious to the fact. How could he? How dare he not know?!

“Shh, Tim, I'm here. I'm here.” But not for Jason, whispered a vicious part of him.

“What's all this?”

Dick's heart just about stopped.

Damian stood at the entrance to the lockers' room, uniform folded under one arm, hair slightly damp from a shower and Bat-themed pajamas worn without shame. His mild annoyance was proof he had no idea of the drama that had happened not twenty feet from him.

With reluctance, he let go of Tim, a gentle hand lingering on his shoulder, before he took a few steps toward his youngest, most vulnerable brother.

“D-Dami, I... ”   Damn it, he had to be the one to tell Damian about this. Because otherwise, the person to break the news would be Bruce, and-

Shit.

Bruce.

Oh God. How could they possibly tell him- ? After all their fights, the goddamned shattering that had broken the man he had been, and their last conversations even being more admonishment about protocols that Jason had flippantly disregarded. Bruce would never recover. That was it. The end of Batman.

...But first, God he hated himself, wanted to just curl up in a corner and forget everything, first he had a young brother he needed to talk to. One... one little brother less than just this afternoon.

“Jason... ” He swallowed, his throat tight, his heart in denial, the words so damning, but needing to be said. “Jason did not make it. He... he's dead.”

Damian stayed thoughtfully silent.

Not... not the tearful reaction he had expected, but Damian had grown up surrounded by so much death and horror that he would obviously be guarded. And oh, Dick's heart went to his baby brother, and he truly wished he could

“I do not understand. Why such theatrics for the zombie?”

Dick gasped, knowledge warring with the flash of anger.

“Damian! He's our brother!”

“Did he lose his head?” Damian demanded, and Dick's mind buckled.

“Huh, no, but that doesn't have anything to d-”

“Then, why are you acting so weirdly emotional, Richard?”

Before Dick's temper could catch up to his mouth, the longest and most painful-sounding gasp erupted from the medbay, where, to the general shock of all, Jason's gray-ish body shot upward with both his arms raised.

Electroshocks didn't make you jolt like that.

Electroshocks, in fact, remained in their kit on the other side of the medbay, unused. Because Jason had seemingly been dead long before he had been brought to the cave.

That was roughly the moment when Dick's brain caught up with the first of many hints. Latched onto it with a fool's hope.

“... Damian... When you were calling Jason a 'zombie', what did you mean?”

Damian's brows scrunched up together, a look he meant to be intimidating, but had more in common with a disgruntled kitten. “Exactly that, Richard. Do we not have files on zombies in the computer? Dead bodies walking about animated by unholy powers?”

Jason's not- Dick forced the half formed thought to a halt. For once, he rather wanted to be very, very wrong in how he perceived his family.

“What's with all the noise? Can't someone try to sleep like the dead without screaming?” Jason groused. “Should have gotten myself buried ag-OOF!”

“JASON!” screamed the hysterical teenager that had launched himself at a very lively dead body.

“Huhh? Hi, Timmy?” Jason said blearily, ruffling Tim's hair, eyebags suspiciously prominent. “... Fear gas?”

The blinking slowed, the fog of sleep drifting away as he silently begged the rest of them for an answer.

Happily provided by a still crying Tim. “I thought you were gone!”

“What is dead may never die,” Jason quipped, his mouth twisting in that cocksure grin from his Robin days.

And Dick wanted nothing more than to stop right there, pass out from the relief and joy of his little brother being alive and kicking, but...

But... 

That joke. One of many morbidly unfunny jokes and puns.

Bone-deep fatigue crushed his back. A bitter curse for whatever higher forces messing with them echoed strongly inside his skull, before he gave in to the inevitable and inhaled a few times for patience.

“Jason. We thought you were dead-dead.”

With prickly, hedgehog style affection, Jason pushed Tim back and stood up, stretching. “Come off it, Goldie. I wasn't even decapitated. I mean, if you were really worried, you could have just called a necromancer or something.” His expression hardened. “But if you ever call a necromancer on my ass, I'll shoot your perfect glutes.”

Yup, yup, yup, this is happening.

Tim finally wiped the rest of the tears away, helped by one of Stephanie's handkerchiefs, when he froze. “Wait. Your skin's still pale as a corpse.”

The flicker of amusement in Jason's eyes killed it for Dick.

God, how could they have all been this idiotic? If Wally ever learned about this – Shit, did Roy and Kory know before him?!

They were going to laugh their asses off at him.

Jason, unaware of the world recalibration happening in his poor big brother's mind, shrugged and rolled his shoulders – who creaked suspiciously loudly, more like rusty hinges than normal body parts. “Eh, I'm just a bit hungry. Nothing a meal or two won't fix and get some blood flowing back under my s-”

“You're a zombie.”

They turned toward him.

“Way to cross the finish line on time, Mister Rabbit,” Jason drawled.

Barbara, for once, looked completely unprepared. “A zombie,” she repeated, dazed.

Stephanie's nervous giggle died out when she noticed the lack of humor. “... No!”

Cassandra furiously looked down, muttering in her fist. Duke, by contrast, had the expression of a person stuck in a very awkward nightmare.

Even Jason's good-natured ribbing faded in when faced only with the distant screeched of bats. “... Hm, guys, bats, roostery, parasites and octopi? This is old news. What's with all the... ”

He vaguely gestured at their faces.

“Old news?” Tim rasped like he was being strangled.

“I came back from the dead years ago! Come on! Am I in a parallel universe? Hey, Demon Brat,” Jason called, baffled, “you knew, right? I didn't imagine that, right?!”

“Of course, Todd. Mother informed me of everything. Besides, Grandfather's interest in your state of being was of interest for a few weeks. How could I have been ignorant about your zombified state of being?”

In the corner of his eyes, Dick noticed Tim's, Barbara's and Cassandra's expressions all pinching in displeasure. In a way, Dick was reassured. He hadn't been the target of a family-wide hoax to discredit him as an attentive and loving eldest brother. No, he was just naturally blind, apparently.

“He knew?” Tim growled, like it was a personal failing of the fabric of time and space.

Damian's tone was the exact opposite. “And none of you realized...?”

Dick squirmed. “I... huh... you see...”

His baby brother eyed him, completely unimpressed, and for once after years of partnership, Dick felt he deserved every single ounce of it.

“I see... I shall reevaluate the value of this 'detective training' I've been given if this is the result then,” he said, the nearest thing to completely disavowing his older siblings without saying so.  

In other circumstances, perhaps the others would have demanded that Damian stay and explain, but he suspected the quelling look it would have deserved prevented them. Not one of them spoke until Damian had disappeared upstairs and the elevator doors had closed.

“Jason, since when have you been a zombie?”

Jason blinked, jaw hanging. Juuuust enough for some of the scar tissue on his face to stretch past normal. Why did Dick only notice that now?

“Wait, you're all serious? How could you not know? I told you guys!”

And there was Dick's pride rearing its ugly head, because no, no he had not been told and maybe his deductive skills needed a very complete overhaul, but his memory was still excellent!

“You never said that. Heck, we weren't even talking until two years ago!”

“I literally told you all that I crawled out of my grave by myself, groaning the entire time. No experiment, no Lazarus Pit, just a body waking up in its own coffin and deciding to breathe fresh air. Does that not scream 'zombie' to you?”

They cringed.

“Not the only one that returned from beyond,” Babs mumbled. He could see her pull up the mental list right there.

“I greeted you all last meeting with a 'What's up, my bat folks? It's me, your favorite zombie!'. What did you think that meant?”

“That you're an asshole with a morbid sense of humor?” Stephanie quipped, and Jason momentarily paused his indignation to high five her. Fair's fair.

“Okay, but what about that time I got shot in the chest and I told you all not to worry about it?”

“I just figured you were going to get stitched up by Leslie or yourself, you know, regular bat neuroses,” Tim confessed.

Dick made a mental note to keep a much closer eye on Tim's patrols for the next few months.

“From a bullet chest wound?” Jason asked with an incredulousness that was not at all earned, because he was a freaking zombie!

“I thought your armor had blocked it! The hole wasn't bleeding!” Tim protested, cheeks red and tone defensive.

“Well, yeah,” Jason replied. “I don't bleed. It's like some fruit pulp or something. Ain't coming out if you don't press. My heart's not pumping.”

That's a 'nevermind' on the smoothie I saved for after patrol.

“Well, I know that now,” Tim said.

“I feel like I should write it down on the plaque or something,” Jason still sounded amazed, and might have pinched his arm just to be sure he hadn't been daydreaming, “Like, 'a good soldier AND A VERY DISCRETE ZOMBIE!' in big flaming letters. With a spotlight. And a dictionary opened on 'Zombie' or 'Undead'. You know, just in case the next batbrat to come along needs a few subtle hints about my true nature. What'd you think, Dick?”

He could not have been blushing harder than he currently was. “I think shut up.”

“Of course. What about when I shoved my deadly cold toes at Tim under a blanket?”

“Cold feet.”

“Never eating around you guys?”

“Daddy issues with Bruce,” Barbara deadpanned, and got a sock thrown at her for her honesty.

However, Duke, poor kid, turned green. “Wait, so when you offered me some jellied brain... was that not a death joke?”

Dick's stomach spontaneously shrivelled.

By the grimaces and sharp inhales all around, that was a common reaction.

Then the worst possible thing happened: Jason grinned.

He strutted, all confidence and brashness, and viper-quick, snatched an arm around Duke's shoulder. “Narrows, Nightlight, my tiny bitsy bro, everything I do is a death joke. My very existence laughs at death.”

Inside the batcave, the groaning was long-suffering and shameful.

“But that was actually brains,” Duke countered.

“Yeah. Calf brains. It's a delicacy.”

Tim massaged his forehead. What a mood.

Duke narrowed his eyes. “It was purely for the joke, wasn't it?”

Jason patted him on the back so hard Duke faltered. “One tragically wasted on your obtuse mind. I prefer me some Tête fromagée instead. Less like grainy jello.”

Stone-faced, Barbara wheeled herself toward the batcomputer. There, upon a series of quick clicks, she opened up the Bats's files. “Alright, you had your fun. Do you need to eat brains or are you just the world's least funny meathead?”

“I'm the world's most misunderstood vigilante!” Jason loudly protested, milking their pain for all it was worth. And then some. “But yeah, I do. No grey matter in there” -- he tapped his belly -- “no thinking up here.” -- his skull.

“Need some better quality brains then,” Tim stage-whispered to Stephanie.

Cass pointed the finger at Jason. “No killing for brains.”

Jason's good humor flickered with a flash of green. “Ain't ever done it, never will. It's a matter of morals, not hunger, Cass.”

Dick swooped in that minefield before it exploded.

“Great! Proud of you, Jay! You're the good kind of vegetarian zombie,” he said, putting an arm around his ginormous little brother's shoulders.

Wait a minute...

“Hey, you're older than when you died! Zombies don't age.”

“No, I was thrown into a Lazarus Pit, and the evil waters cured the malnutrition-induced delay on my growth. Haven't aged a day since.”

“I just thought you had a weird babyface thing going on,” Tim said.

Jason's grin turned sardonic. “Quite the opposite, Timber.”

Dick put his head in his hands in some vain attempt to prevent his brain from leaking through his ears.  With his luck, his little brother would 'playfully' eat some of it. “There's no way you look this rugged at biologically sixteen! I refuse to believe that.”

“Can you imagine my power if I'd been allowed to reach my full potential?” Jason leered, eyebrows waggling like waves in a sea at storm. “So many heart attacks.”

Barbara and Cassandra exchanged a silent look, and, after a solemn nod, Cassandra reached up to slap Jason upside the head.

“Thank you, Cassandra,” Barbara told her. “Jason, never do such a thing again.”

The disgruntled groan that followed must have been on purpose, because Jay was indeed an asshole.

“Besides, it's not like the world will ever know,” Tim said, cutting, a smirk hiding by his hand.

Dick really thought his little brother was far too relaxed upon learning that Jason was one with the undead. Sure, they had all encountered various levels of zombies during their missions, from all sorts of oral traditions and cultures, alien viruses and hidden nanobots piloting meat puppets. It wasn't even classified as a nation-wide crisis to encounter free-roaming zombies. But since the chronically unalive individual in question was one of their own, Dick felt he was owed at least a whole evening of frazzled panic and incomprehension for once.

“Oh?” Stephanie instead asked, sensing blood.

Tim shrugged. “Well, you know, no pulse, no blood flow,” he said with an angled eyebrow nodding at Jason's crotch

Stunned silence followed, their expressions varying from disgust, horror, unholy glee and, from Jason himself, wide-eyed shock that his shrimp of a little brother had had the balls to assimilate the zombieness fast enough to mock him for him.

Dick prayed for patience. For fortitude. And for an alternate timeline where he was an only child.

Why, for all the love of cotton candy and professional uncriminal clowns, did Tim put THAT image of Jason inside their brains? What had he done, him, a loving model for all of society, to suffer like this?

Maybe if he asked nicely, Jason would eat the image out of his head. He owed Dick that much after this clusterfuck of a conversation.

“Ooooooooh,” Stephanie crooned, miming getting dunked on. With acrobatics.

Jason huffed. “Like I was ever interested in the first place. I ain't Dick.”

“Okay, no slut shaming or virgin shaming, in fact, no shaming at all, please. In this house, we accept all sexualities, but we don't give out raunchy details about any of it, I only have so much brain bleach.”

“Share?” Duke pleaded in a whisper.

Oh, I wish I could, you young innocent soul.

A few beeps turned their attention back to Barbara and the batcomputer. “Well, that's one long overdue update to Jason's files. Anyone else want to share their 'obvious' medical condition?”

“Excuse you, being dead is not a medical condition.”

“I will make you wish for the peace of the grave, Jason.”

Droplets dripped from nearby stalactites.

A few bats flew overhead.

Jason turned to them like nothing had been said.

“Right. That was fun. Best night of my month. Can't wait to tell the Outlaws.”

Dick resigned himself to a series of unflattering texts by the absolute dickheads that were his second family. He could already tell the messages would blow up his phone to the Moon. 'You didn't know your brother that came back from the dead is a zombie?!'

“Have mercy and wait tomorrow morning?”

That smile could have been great or terrible. “You're lucky I'm in a spectacularly good mood, Dick.”

He had lifted his leg over his bike's seat when Duke was struck by genuine worry.

“Wait. Does Bruce know?”

Jason barked out a laugh.

“Of course he does! God knows he's got some massive blind spots, but he's obsessive, paranoid and I find subcutaneous trackers on me every week. No way he didn't get the hint before now.”

But, as his gaze went over the rest of them, his good cheer dimmed, his grin slipping off his face as surely as a bit of decayed flesh.

“... Right?”

[johaerys-writes]

Writing Tag Game

I was tagged by @noire-pandora @midnightprelude @mogwaei @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @pinkfadespirit @inquisitoracorn and @in-arlathan thank you so much! :)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

On my main Ao3 blog: 23! I also have a second blog where I post works set in the Dragon Age-inspired Modern AU I've been writing with @oftachancer , featuring my OC Tristan Trevelyan and her OC Aran Trevelyan, as well as a few others of our OCs. There are 5 works there at the moment. You can check them out here: jo_writes

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

On my main blog, 516,722 words. On my second blog, 193,953 words, but the majority of it is co-written with @oftachancer .

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High-Flying Birds: 589 kudos (TSOA)

Where Blood Roses Bloom: 467 kudos (Castlevania)

Winter's Fruit: 424 kudos (TSOA)

Like Friends Do: 410 kudos (TSOA)

Memories and Echoes: 327 kudos (TSOA)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always!! I don't think there's a single comment I've ever received that I've left unanswered. I just love talking with my readers and screeching in my replies. I often wonder whether I come across as a tiny bit insane or overly enthusiastic, but you know what? I am both, so who cares 😂 I just appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and comment on my works, and I want to make sure they know JUST HOW MUCH 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't think that many of my stories have an angsty ending? Most of them end on a hopeful or at least bittersweet note, I think. I'm pretty sure the only ones I've written that have sad endings were those in my Hector/Carmilla series, You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (CV) which were kind of dark and depressing anyway. 

Playground Love, the fic I've written with @oftachancer featuring our OCs Tristan and Aran ends on an angsty note, but things do get better in the next installment, Never Let Me Go, so I suppose I am a little allergic to angsty endings XD

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Stars Will Guide Us Home (TSOA, Modern AU) has a super soft and fluffy ending, and Fall Into Your Tide (TSOA, Merman AU) will have a happy ending too.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written? 

I've written a Witcher/Dragon Age crossover, Viper In Tall Grass, where Tristan is a witcher and Dorian a Nilfgardian mage which I thoroughly enjoyed! Also, one of the first long fics I ever finished was a Witcher/Wheel of Time crossover, which I think is genuinely the most... imaginative thing I've written 😂 I never posted it and don't think I will, but I still love it to bits and I'm super proud of myself for writing it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Kind of? It wasn't directed at me personally (I don't think) but at one of the main characters of the fic. Perhaps it was referring to the way I'd written the particular character, I truly can't say, it was a little vague. It takes a lot to offend me, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly think I would have been less offended if the person had criticised my writing rather than the character lol. I just don't take any shit when it comes to the characters I love. They're PERFECT, okay? How dare you come into my house and badmouth them 😂 RUDE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell YEAH! I love writing smut, it's great. As to what kind, I think that porn with feelings describes it really well. The smut I write tends to get emotional real quick, even when I intended for it to be straight up porn, so I guess there's no hope for me, hah. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes, High-Flying Birds has been translated into Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! With oftachancer, two novel-length fics (Playground Love and Never Let Me Go), as well as a few other WIPs that haven't been posted yet, and I'm currently working on a multi-chap fic with my friendo @in-arlathan , featuring Dorian/Tristan and Solas with her Elenara Lavellan, which I'm so excited about! I've also brainstormed and goblined-out over a couple projects with @mogwaei !!  I love co-writing, it's so fun :)

What's your all time favourite ship?

Oooh, that's a tough one. I'm super biased in that the ships I love are those I write (both canon and OC pairings) but if you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose I would probably have to say... Dorian/Tristan and Achilles/Patroclus? AAH this is too hard ;w;

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do plan on finishing all of the WIPs I am currently working on. I have a lot of writing ideas that I don't think I'll ever get around to, but when I actually start writing something I tend to commit till the end.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, introspection and angsty/emotional scenes I think are my favourite things to write. I also enjoy writing fight scenes a little too much (and judging by the feedback I receive on them people seem to enjoy them too, heh). Lastly, I've been told that the characters I write are complex and fleshed out and that my pacing is good, and that's honestly the best praise for me.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I struggle quite a lot with self doubt and perfectionism. I worry a lot about how my work will be perceived and whether it's good enough. I often agonise over small details or paragraphs/sentences, to the point where I sometimes post just so I stop myself from going back and editing indefinitely. I have thousands upon thousands of words in deleted scenes because "they weren't quite right" or I changed a tiny bit and the rest didn't fit. So. You get the idea 😅 (Now, how I manage to read through everything multiple times before posting yet still get typos... welp)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, I have to say that I do like it when there are foreign words interspersed through the narrative if the story isn't set in an English speaking world or if the characters speak a different language, but I'm not a huuuge fan of seeing a big chunk of dialogue in a foreign language without immediate translation or a hovering text. It kind of breaks the immersion for me and I tend to avoid it generally in my own writing.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, and specifically DAI! That game never gets old for me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's impossible for me to pick just one so I'm going to cheat and choose a few. I absolutely love my current WIPs: High-Flying Birds, Where Blood Roses Bloom and A World With You, and the freaking epic-length fics I've written with @oftachancer . They haven't always been easy to write (especially AWWY, which has the most intricate plot & character development) but I'm so proud of them and I've learned so much while writing them. Of my finished stories, The Stars Will Guide Us Home is hands down one of my all time faves. It had been on my mind for several months before I actually wrote it, and I poured so much of my heart into it. I still get emotional when I go back to reread it, not gonna lie! Lastly, At The Water's Edge (TSOA) is very dear to me and I often go back for rereads. 

I'm tagging forth to (no pressure!): @fancytrinkets @elveny @glimmerofgold @asiriushoe @juliafied @boshtet-juggler @schattengerissen @dafan7711 @tessa1972 @fandomn00blr @pikapeppa and anyone else who would like to join!

[raeandwhatnot]

Hold Your Breath- Alive!Luke Patterson Imagine

Summary: You have a big test coming up, but what happens if the test happened earlier than expected?

Warnings: anxiety attack

Words: 3.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Hello, I am thinking of taking requests for imagines. So far, I’ve only done Luke/Charlie. However, I attached a masterlist that shows everything I am comfortable writing so far. For marvel, I can try to write for other superheroes, so that way I can learn how to write for them. But yeah, if you want me to write something, request away! I will say, I'm in college so it will take a bit. Alrighty, enjoy this imagine! 

Beep beep beep

I wake up to the annoying noise that is my alarm clock. It was already 6:45? I barely got any sleep last night from studying for the upcoming history test. I hate taking tests, so I stress myself out by studying as much as I can so I can get a good grade. I sit up on my bed to see my textbook and papers laid out around me. I turn to my alarm and shut it off. I grab my phone from my night stand to see that Reggie texted me.

Hey, I’m going to be a little late picking you up today. I’ll be over around 7:45. See ya soon- Reg

I reply with a simple okay to let Reggie know that I got the message. I collect my textbook and papers and place them on the night stand. I didn’t feel like getting 100% ready. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the light to see what the damage looked like. My hair was a mess and I had major bags under my eyes. I brush my (Y/H/C) hair and put it in a messy bun. I decided I was going to do extra light makeup today. I normally do a natural look, but today I was going extra natural. I put some concealer under my eyes so I don’t look scary. I then put some mascara and eyebrows. I quickly brush my teeth so I don’t have to look at my reflection anymore. Once I finish in the bathroom, I walk back to my room to put on different clothes. Even though I felt like absolute crap and didn’t even feel like putting on jeans, I knew my friends would realize something was wrong if I didn’t wear jeans. I changed the shirt I slept in into a graphic band tee, and I changed from shorts to jeans. To finish the outfit, I put on my checkered vans. I grab textbook and papers from my night stand and put it in my backpack.

After zipping my backpack, I took a deep breath to try to calm me down. I could feel my heart picking up its pace as I was stressing about going to school. I don’t do well when I don’t get a goodnights rest. This past week, I haven’t been getting enough sleep and it is now starting to hit me. I tried to remind myself that it was a Thursday and that I have one more day to study before the test. I took another deep breath and shake my hands to try to get the stress out of me a little bit. I grab my backpack and head to the kitchen for breakfast.

When I get to the kitchen, I place my backpack near the kitchen table. I wasn’t entirely all that hungry, so I just grab a bagel and put it in the toaster. I get the cream cheese from the fridge and wait for my bagel to finish toasting. I suddenly hear a knock at the door. I furrow my brows and look at my phone. It was 7:40. I guess I was having a quicker morning than I thought. I walk to the door and open it to see Reggie. “Hey, (Y/N)!” Reggie smiled.

I smile back, “Hi, Reggie. I’m just heating up a bagel real quick. Come on in.” I step to the side so Reggie can walk in. He nods and steps through the door. I close it behind him as I hear my bagel pop out of the toaster.

“How has your morning been?” Reggie asks as we both walk to the kitchen.

“It’s been alright. I’m a little tired from studying last night,” I say while spreading cream cheese on the bagel.

Reggie leans against counter, “But (Y/N/N), you’ve been studying all week!”

“I know, I know. I just want to do well!” I exclaim.

“Is that why you haven’t come to Julie and the Phantoms rehearsals recently?” Reggie questions. Even though Reggie can be a bit of an airhead, he does notice a lot of things about his friends.

“Maybe,” I mumble as I finish spreading the cream cheese and put it back in the fridge.

Reggie steps over to me and grabs my shoulders to stop me from moving. “(Y/N), you are going to be fine! You always do good enough on your tests,” he says.

I slightly smile at his comforting words, “Thanks, Reg.” Reggie smiles and drops his hands from my shoulders. I grab my bagel and backpack. “Okay, I’m ready to go now!”

“Sweet,” Reggie says. “Also, sorry for being late! I was fixing my amp in the rain last night. I think it messed up my car a little bit, so I had to have my dad jump my car.”

I slowly take a bite out of my bagel listening to Reggie’s explanation. “I don’t think you should be doing that, but okay,” I whisper as we walk to Reggie’s car. We climb in the car at the same time and start heading to school. Thankfully, school wasn’t terribly far away. To be honest, I could walk to school, but who wants to do that?

I finish eating my breakfast as Reggie pulled into the parking lot. Reggie’s assigned parking space was right next to Alex’s. Alex, Luke, and Julie were clumped around Alex’s car waiting for us to join them. “Hey guys!” Reggie says as he gets out of the car. I follow him out and join the group. I keep next to Reggie as I didn’t want my boyfriend, Luke, to see me in my anxious state.

“You guys are late!” Julie exclaims.

“Yeah, that’s my bad! I tried fixing my amp while it was raining outside last night and it did something to my car,” Reggie explains to everyone. They all gave Reggie a questioning look.

“How are you still alive?” Julie asks out of the blue. We all chuckle and Reggie looked confused. Luke pats Reggie on the back as we start walking to the school building.

As we were walking, Alex tugs on my arm to slow us down and be more behind the group. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks.

I shrug my shoulders, “Yeah, of course. Why?”

“You are more quiet than normal. You also look really tired,” Alex says quietly so the rest of the group doesn’t hear. Alex also suffers from anxiety like I do, so we understand each other. It’s really hard to hide it from him, but I always try to.

I scoff at his statement, “Alex, I’m fine. I’m just tired from studying last night; that’s all!”

Alex squints his eyes at me. “Okay, if you say so. You know you can talk to me, right? Or you can talk to Luke. I know he is more than willing to help you out. You are his girlfriend after all.”

I stop at my locker. “Yes, I know. I don’t want to bother Luke with my troubles. He’s been focusing on the band a lot recently. I don’t want to put more weight on his shoulders. Anyways, hurry and get to class. First period is about to start,” I say to him while putting in the code to my locker.

“Yes, ma’am!” Alex says while walking backwards and saluting. He turns around and walks to his first class. I have class with everyone in our group. First period (History) is with Luke, second period (Art) is with Julie and Flynn, third period (Biology) is with Willy, forth period (theatre 3) is with Luke, Alex, Reggie, and Julie, fifth period is lunch with everyone, sixth period (Pre-Cal) is with Alex, and seventh period (English) is with Julie and Willy. It was nice to always have a friend in class.

I grab my art supplies from my locker as I don’t have time to swing by locker between first and second period. Since art class on the other side of school, I have to put my supplies in my backpack now or else I would be late trying to get my supplies between classes.

I close my locker to see Luke leaning against the locker next to me. “Jeez!” I jumped as Luke scared me by his presence. “You’ve got to stop doing that!”

Luke laughs at how scared I was, “Normally, that doesn’t scare you that bad. What’s going on in your mind?”

I shake my head, “Nothing important!”

Luke tilts his head, not believing what I said. “Sure, whatever you say, (Y/L/N), You ready for history?” Luke asks as he stands up from the lockers and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

I turn my heel to walk to class. “Am I ever ready for history? No! Whenever Mr. Hall teaches, it goes in one ear and straight out the other. I just have a hard time retaining history.” I answer.

As we get to Mr. Halls door, Luke unwraps his arm around me and stands in front of me. “You got this, bubs. You always do good in class!” Luke says trying to cheer me up.

“Thanks,” I murmur against my breath as I look down and play with my fingers. I was starting to feel anxious.

Luke notices and grabs my hand, “Believe me, you are insanely smart! You can do this.”

I look up at Luke who had a slight smile on his face. I nod my head, “Thanks, bubs.” He lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my head. I hug back by wrapping my arms around his waist. I start to feel slightly less anxious with the hug. Luke always gives good hugs. He rubs my head slightly and gives me a kiss on the top of my head. I pull away from the hug to give him a double thumbs up. Luke smiles wider, snaps his fingers, and turns his heel to walk in the classroom. I take a deep breath and walk in the room. Luke and I take our spots in the back of the classroom; I sit right in front of Luke. Not too long after we sat down, the first period bell rang and the morning announcements started. I tune out whatever was being said over the intercom, not caring what they had to say. I didn’t even stand up to do the pledge of allegiance. I don’t know why I was feeling so anxious; the test is tomorrow!

Suddenly, I feel a kick on my heel. I snap my head towards Luke. “You’re shaking your desk with your leg bouncing and it’s making a squeaking sound,” Luke whispers. I didn’t even notice that I was bouncing my leg.

I immediately stop bouncing my leg, “Oh, sorry!” I turn back to face the front.

Finally, the morning announcements were over. Mr. Hall stood up from his desk to stand in front of the class, “Good morning class. I have a few things to say before we get started today. First thing, I will not be here tomorrow because we have an away baseball game.” A few boys in the class let out some hoots as they are part of the baseball team. I slightly chuckle at their actions. “I normally am here in the mornings when we have baseball games. However, it’s a few hours away, so I will be gone all day. Therefore, we are going to have our test today instead of tomorrow! Surprise! I hope you guys are ready!”

My heart sunk to the floor. This couldn’t be happening. We can’t take this test early; I’m not ready for it! “Clean off your desks, everyone. Let’s get started!” Mr. Hall announces.

I lean down to my backpack that was on the floor to grab a pencil. I open up every zipper to search for a pencil, but I couldn’t find one. I was starting to panic as my anxiety started to get worse. I then feel a tap on my shoulder. I look to see Luke handing me a pencil. I zip my backpack closed and take the pencil from him. “Hey, you okay?” Luke asks as I turn back to the front. I nod my head because I knew if I tried to speak, I would just break down crying. I set down the pencil Luke gave me and wipe my hands on my pants as they became super clammy. Mr. Hall walked by and past tests row by row. He finally placed a test packet on my desk. I pick it up to look at the back to see how many questions was on the test. There were 30 questions.

“Alright, you have until the rest of the class period to do the test. Good luck!” Mr. Hall says and sits down at his desk. My shaky hand picks up the pencil and my vision starts to get a blurry and watery as tears started to brew in my eyes. I shut my eyes hard to make sure tears don’t fall. I take a deep, shaking breath and try to read the first question.

What year did the Holocaust begin?

My mind went blank. I’ve been studying this all week, and I couldn’t remember a thing. I skip around the questions to see if I could find a question that I knew at the top of my head. There weren’t many, but thankfully I found a couple of questions I could answer confidently. I look at the clock to see we have 30 minutes left of class which is enough time to do a test. However, in my mind, it’s not enough at all!

Suddenly, I feel Luke’s foot kick my heel, again. I look up at Mr. Hall to see him on his computer. I turn around at Luke, “What?” I barely whisper. Luke tilts his head to the ground. I look down to see a folded piece of paper next to my backpack. I pick it up, glance at Mr. Hall, and open the folded paper.

Are you sure you’re okay? You keep fidgeting in your desk.

Luke’s awful handwriting was hard to read, and I didn’t have time to answer him back as I needed to finish this test. I fold the paper back and slip it in my bag.

Time passes, and I was down to three questions that were absolutely stumping me. I reread the questions about 15 times each to make sure I could understand the questions. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and let out a heavy sigh. I look around to see almost everyone done and sitting with their phones. I turn around at Luke who was done as well. How was he already done?!

“5 more minutes!” Mr. Hall announces. I snap my head to the clock; class was almost over. My heart starts racing and beating hard in my chest. I look back to my test. Do I just BS this and guess? Do I even have time to figure the questions out? After a minute or two, I guess the last three questions as best as I can and turn in my test at the front. I try to take more deep breaths to try to calm my heart down. Tears were threatening to fall down my face.

Finally, the bell rang to end class. I grabbed my bag as quick as I could and sprinted out of class. I heard Luke calling out my name, but I couldn’t face him like this. He has never seen my anxiety so bad, and I don’t want it to be at school. I walk into the girl’s restroom, walk in a stall, and lock it. I drop my bag to the floor and lean against the wall. My breath was uneven and quick. I can’t be doing this in public. I need to calm down! I try to do the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 anxiety trick, but I couldn’t focus on anything. The tears that have been trying to fall finally fell, and I lost it. I place my hand on my mouth to try to hold the sobs coming out of my mouth.

“(Y/N)?” I hear Julie call out. I gasp as I wasn’t expecting her to know where I was? I look at the floor to see her standing in front of the stall I was in. “Hey, are you okay? Luke said you ran out of history.”

I attempt to speak clearly, but a loud sob left my mouth. “I-I’m f-f-in-ne,” I barely spoke in-between sobs.

Through my blurry vision, I saw Julie exit out of the bathroom. I exhale the breath that I didn’t know I was holding. My legs started to feel like jello; I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. Thankfully, the toilet seat was down as I sat down on the toilet. I then noticed that I was hyperventilating. I was having a full out panic attack.

“Bubs?” I hear Luke softly call out. I shake my head as I knew Julie told him I was in here. I try make my breath quiet. “Bubs, can you let me in? Please?” he asked. I could barely move. It felt as if I was a statue and I couldn’t move.

“(Y/N), I know you’re in there,” he states, not knowing I physically couldn’t move.

“I-I-“ I attempt to speak, but words couldn’t form as my hyperventilating kept me from speaking. Next thing I know, Luke drops his backpack on the floor and so does he. He crawls under the crack between the floor and the door. I back further on the toilet and look down so he couldn’t see my face.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Luke whispers and grabs my face to make me look at him. My cheeks were red and tears and tear stains on my cheeks. My nose was running from me crying. He trys to wipe away tears, but they kept falling on my hot cheeks. “Try to breath with me, okay? Inhale through the nose; exhale out of the mouth.”

I nod my head slightly. Luke moves his hands from my face and holds my hands. As Luke inhales, I inhale. As Luke exhales, I let out a shaky exhale that ended in a sob. He does it again, but as I exhaled, all that came out was a sob. I then hyperventilated again and shook my head. This wasn’t working.

“No, no, no, that was supposed to work!” Luke mumbled under his breathe. In the distance, I heard the bell ring to indicate that it was time for second period. This made me panic even more as I can’t be late for class! I squeezed Luke’s hands that my nails digged into his skin slightly. I noticed Luke defeated as he wasn’t sure what to do. Suddenly, I feel him remove his hands from mine and place them back on my face. This time, he pulled me close to him and slammed his lips on mine. My eyes widened as I was shocked at his sudden action. I finally give in a little in the kiss and close my eyes and release the breath I was accidently holding. After a minute, Luke slowly pulled away.

I open my eyes to see him looking at me with a worried look on his face. I then noticed that my breathing was slightly back to normal. “H-How did you that?” I ask.

Luke rubs his thumbs on the apples of my cheeks. “I uh, read about it actually,” Luke states. “When Alex told me he had anxiety, I skimmed some articles on how to help and support someone with anxiety. I read that holding your breath can help, and when I kissed you, you held your breath.”

I couldn’t believe what Luke was saying! “Wow, t-that’s really smart, Luke. Thank you.”

Luke slightly nods his head. He pulls down my head and slightly kisses my forehead. “How come you never mentioned your anxiety was so bad?” Luke questions.

I take Luke’s hand from my face to hold them in my own hands. “I don’t want to bother anyone with my burdens,” I say embarrassed.

“Look, bubs,” Luke whispers. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about your anxiety. I will always be here to help you if you feel really anxious or anything,” I give Luke a slight smile. “Also, I told Flynn and Julie to tell your art teacher that you wouldn’t make it into class, so don’t worry about class right now.”

“What about you?” I question, not wanting him to miss class.

Luke shrugs, “Reggie is covering for me. It’s okay.” I feel slightly guilty that he is missing class because of me. Luke stood up, “Do you want some water?” I nod my head as I slowly stand up from the toilet.  Once I stood up, I felt a little dizzy and placed my head on his chest. Luke placed a kiss on the top of my head. “You good?”

“Mmhm,” I hum quietly. My head finally stopped spinning after a minute. I took my head off of Luke’s chest and stood up straight. “I’m good.”

Luke squeezes my hand and unlocked the bathroom stall door. Thankfully, during this whole time, no one had come into the restroom. However, it might look weird that the both of us are walking out together, but I don’t care at this point. We walk out of the bathroom and head towards the cafeteria where the vending machines were.

“Wait!” I stop my tracks, still holding Luke’s hand which made him stop as well in front of me.

“What?” he questions.

I look at Luke dead in the eyes and ask in a very serious tone, “Do I hold my breathe while we kiss often?”

Luke tries to hide the smile that was forming on his face, “No?”

My mouth opens wide, “Wait, really?!” Luke laughs out loud and walks closer to me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders. “I didn’t know that!” I exclaimed.

“It’s okay, (Y/N)! You know, because you do that, I was able to help you today,” he says while unwrapping his arms around my shoulders and instead places them on my waist.

I roll my eyes and lightly punch up on the chest, “Okay, okay, that’s true. Thank you, again.”

Luke kisses my nose sweetly. “Anything for you, bubs,” he smiles. I smile back. “Hey, there’s that beautiful smile.” I blush at the comment and give him a peck on the lips.

“Let’s go get water,” I say as I grab Luke’s hand and tug towards the cafeteria.

“There’s my girl,” I hear Luke whisper as he walks next to me. As we walk next to each other hand in hand, I take my other hand, wrap it around his arm, and place my head on his bicep. I’m grateful to have Luke in my life.

[binniedeactivated]

hi binnie i wanted to request a fem!reader x dom!yeonjun when she comes home late at night smelling like someone else’s cologne and he punishes her. (sorry this is very descriptive aha im no good at english ) :3

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐖/𝐂 | 2.5k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱

“hyung, go to sleep”. soobin encourages over the video monitor.

“no we need to finish these lyrics”. yeonjun refuses. he was currently working from home in his home studio. it was more urgent to him than anyone else probably because of the real studio time he’s missed due to paternity leave. 

“hyung we can finish them tomorrow alright?”. soobin assures softly. he hated seeing the older stressing himself out. “how’s jayce? has he been sleeping okay?”. soobin asks.

yeonjun huffs and combs his hair back with his fingers in stress. he hasn’t been getting the sleep he wanted due to the six month old infant. especially since your boss needed you urgently, cutting your maternity leave and giving you later hours than usual. hence the reason why yeonjun has been practically banging his head over work. he palms his forehead in the video camera. soobin could see the weariness in his eyes.

“yeah I guess. I just put him down an hour ago. I hope he stays asleep”.

“good. you should use this time to get some sleep hyung”.

yeonjun huffs again, parting his lips to say something else before he heard the front door open and close softly. it was you trying to hurry and sneak in. maybe change your clothes and shower before yeonjun could suspect anything.

“fine I guess. I’ll get some sleep”.

“good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow hyung”.

“bye soobin”.

he waves before ending the call. he checks his watch. it was almost an hour later than when you normally came home. “babe is that you?”. he spoke.

you swiftly took your jacket off hanging it on the coat rack. you cursed under breath hating the fact that he even heard you arrive. “yes babe”. you call out from near the door.

“you know you’re like an hour late coming home. jayce was a handful today”.

you slip off your shoes. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m here now”. you tried to sound as sincere as possible. almost as if you weren’t fucking one of your best friends an hour prior.

yeonjun turns off his monitors and shuts off the equipment in his studio. he decided to check on the baby one last time before entering your shared bedroom. thank god he was still asleep.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole but baby I really need you here. why is your boss keeping you so late?”. yeonjun questions while you were digging into your closet. you were kind of glad he couldn’t see the guilty look on your face. but he definitely smelled the cologne each time you moved.

“I’m sorry it’s been really hectic at the company. I’ll talk to her to see if we can make some arrangements. why are you so upset junnie?”. you soft talked, hoping to butter him up. he sighs at the nickname, sneaking behind you to wrap his arms around your waist to smell you again on purpose.

you reeked of versace cologne. and yeonjun knew he never wore that kind.

“I’m not upset baby. I just miss you and jayce is always eating and crying”.

his lips sit at the coast of your collarbone. he peppers fluttering kisses until he reaches your neck. you breathed.

“isn’t that what you do too? eat and whine about things?” you accuse. yeonjun chuckles. “yes maybe”.

you wanted to shrug yeonjun off because honestly words couldn’t explain how fucked out you were. but you didn’t want him to think anything was up so you let his lips continue up your neck and finally to your jawline.

yeonjun could hear your breathing pattern shift due to his lips. but more than anything he saw how much you were trying to act like you wanted him, but really you wanted to tell him not tonight. that you didn’t feel like having sex because you already got your fix from someone else. and yeonjun knew it.

he pushes his bulge against your backside inching his lips to the corner of yours. you could feel him harden. “baby”. he hums. “baby please have sex with me”.

your heart raced at his words. you’ve never heard yeonjun beg in need before. you didn’t know how you were going to find the energy to oblige to his request. but he grips your waist tighter and you knew there was no letting go. he traces the outline of your breasts with his fingers, keeping note of the fact that your bra wasn’t on.

‘stupid’, yeonjun wanted to say. he knows you left the house with one on. yeonjun was furious.

“please? don’t you miss me?”. he whines again, sneaking a kiss to your lips. he glares into your eyes after he pulls away and you nod your head in counterfeit desperation. he grins into another kiss while his hand searched for the back of your thighs. while hoisting you up the both of you exchange sloppy kisses until you were being laid back onto the sheets.

he allows his tongue to roam your mouth once more before he pulls away with admiration glimmering in his eyes.

“I love you”.

you swallowed, the sheer happiness that overwhelmed him was enough to make you feel guilty about what you done. nevertheless you pout your lips and rub his cheek. “aw junnie. I love you too”.

he smiles and leans down to layer an abundance of kisses over your lips again. he  pins your wrists down gradually with his hands. “I know I haven’t been the best husband lately”. he complains in between kisses. “but I’ve been so tired and moody with the baby and you haven’t been here”. he raises your dress and pushes his bulge against the wetness of your panties. 

you pant feeling your breathing becoming shaky. “I’m sorry junnie. you’ve been the perfect husband okay? I don’t know what I was thinking working-- l-late like that”.

he tongue kisses your neck sliding your panties down your thighs in one quick movement. “you’re so pretty. I’ve been missing you”. slowly but surely he clutches your thighs and rocks down into your warmth. you wrap your arms around his neck with your gaspy moans driving straight into his ear.  your eyes roll up to the ceiling.

“godd---go a little softer junnie please”. you plead. and he follows your command slowly swaying his hips into you with care. he kisses your cheeks. “is this better baby?”. he pants into the small space between the both of your lips, satisfied with the way he was sheathed in your warmth. it felt so good and he hasn’t had it in so long.

“yes it’s perfect”. you mumble, grinding your hips against him at the same speed. it felt amazing. sex was always amazing with yeonjun. he leans down and plants another kiss on your lips. “so needy? what’s making my baby so needy? you missed me that much?”.

between your muffled cries you nodded. he was stretching you each time he inched deeper. he knew how much you loved him buried inside of you. enough to forget where you end and where he begins. “god yeonjun”. you whine against his neck. “i’ve missed you so much”. you whimper back. you felt so ashamed. you knew no one could ever fuck you like yeonjun could.

“I don’t want you to ever miss me baby. I want to always be here to love you and give what you want when you want it”.

you hold him against you, melting each time he bucks into you and feeling guilt eat you alive each time he spoke. “I’d love that so much”. you reply hazily glaring up into his eyes.

“and I love you-”. he cut himself off with a hard thrust jolting your body upwards. you gasp. he chuckles into your neck. “fuck--i hope you don’t think I’m a pervert. asking for sex as soon as you walk in the door”.

“mmmh no junnie-- you’re just as needy as I am”.

with his head buried into your neck he fucks into you a bit faster, groaning at the way you felt wrapped around his length. he got his desired effect though. you with parted lips clawing at his back. each time he rocked into you he heard you choke on your own moans and that’s exactly what he wanted. it turned him on.

“junnie I’m going to cum if you keep going like this---that’s why I want you to g-go slower”.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long I can’t control myself”. he tries his best to go at a slower pace but each time he tried he went back to the same pace he started with. you’re not far behind your orgasm and yeonjun knew just by the stutter in your hips.

“tell me when you’re about to cum baby”. he breathes.

“I’m a-about to ccum right now”. you were nearly shaking beneath him. and just as you felt like you were about release yeonjun stops his movements completely. you sank into confusion until you felt him roughly create a makeshift ponytail out of your hair and pin it against the bed above your head so you couldn’t move.

his facial expression immediately changed. instead he looked angry. his eyes were scary glaring down into yours.

“did you really think I’d let you cum you fucking cheater?”.

you glanced up at him with horror. “junnie--”.

“don’t fucking soft talk me“.

you crumbled at his tone of voice. he started pounding into you whilst biting his lips. you whimper in his hands.

“whose cologne is that hm?”.

if you weren’t choking to death on your moans before you were definitely were choking on them now. he was making you feel so good you could barely think of anything else while he was fucking you like this. you felt your orgasm build back up quickly.

“w-what cologne?”. he thrusts rough and sharp and stops just after he felt your hips stutter. you whine in desperation to cum just once. it felt like a punch in the gut.

“don’t play stupid. whose cologne are you wearing?”.

“it’s yyours”. you wanted to crawl into a hole and hide at the way he practically growled at you. he lowers his lips allowing them to overshadow yours.

“that’s not my fucking cologne and you know that. I don’t wear versace cologne. so how about you tell me who does?”.

and right there, he was filling you again. pushing his length into your depth just how you liked it, knowing it drove you insane. knowing it was just enough to make you want to cum again. his strokes were painfully slow, making your body wallow in a feeling of pleasure and anxiousness.  he bites his lips again.

“I think I like you like this. not being able to cum. you feel better around me”.

he’s groaning and you felt heat sit in your cheeks. your hips bucked up with need and he’s snapping his hips into you until he felt you stutter again. you pant heavily, grasping his shirt.

“yyeonjun please--pplease don’t stop I need to cum!”.

“tell me who wears versace cologne”. he snarls. in absolute desperation you answer, “a cclose friend of mine!”.

and just as you were about to finally cum his hips come to a halt once more.  you felt tears cascade down your cheeks. he chuckles in the midst of your pain.

“and you weren’t even smart enough to put your bra on before coming home to me. you’re pathetic as fuck. do you know that?”. he rocks his hips down again with brutal thrusts.

“jjunnie I’m sorry! it’s just I’ve been feeling so unsatisfied lately“.

yeonjun casts his eyes down on you with no remorse. he cared nothing about your explanation or your tears. you whimpered against his chest.

“how long have you been doing this? don’t lie to me”.

your needy cries were muffled into the material of his shirt. you decided to reply honestly. “s-since jayce was three months”. you sniffle.  “please let me cum yeonjun”.

for an affair that he thought was only just a few weeks ended up being months. yeonjun couldn’t believe you. he couldn’t believe you’d intentionally sabotage the family that the both of you started together. he knows he was stressed and moody lately but it was because he was taking care of jayce by himself. and you were no where to be found. tears rimmed his eyes.

his hips stop and he cums good and hard just how he hoped. except you didn’t. you were a tear stained mess beneath him shaking and crying. yet he didn’t care. he leaned off of you and started zipping up his pants. and almost as if he could sense that his father was near, jayce began to softly cry in the next room over.

yeonjun glares down at you in pure disgust.

“I want you to pack your stuff and get out of my house”.

[fellulahh]

He overhears MC admit she has a crush on him (all brothers and Diavolo)

Part 2 now available here!

Lucifer:

MC and Mammon were in the kitchen together, he was currently lecturing MC for being so nice to the eldest brother. Lucifer was already nearby, listening to every word - as soon as he saw Mammon following MC about he assumed there’d be troubled so he decided to keep an eye on them both (mainly Mammon - he didn’t trust him around MC).

“I don’t know why ya bein’ so nice to him. You remember he almost killed ya once right?” Mammon asked her as she poured a cup of coffee.

She had planned to surprise Lucifer in his study with his favourite meloncholy coffee and a few bits to eat but Mammon ensured to make this a difficult task for her. All she wanted to do was try and ease Lucifer who she imagined was staring at reports on his desk getting more and more stressed by the second.

“I know Mammon but he’s changed.” She chuckled at him, placing the filled teacup on a dish. “He’s gentle.” She smiled.

“He’s Lucifer!”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows as he hid behind the door hearing his name. ‘MC is doing all of this for me?’

“He’s different when he’s around me, Mammon. I like to think I bring out a softer side to him.” She spoke kindly. “I know you wouldn’t understand but you’ve got to believe me on this.”

“Sounds like you’re in love with him.” He muttered loud enough for Lucifer to hear.

MC chuckled to herself, pausing her actions as she contemplated the thought. “Perhaps I am.” She admitted with a smile before continuing to prepare the tray of food for Lucifer.

Lucifer was in a state of shock hearing those three words slip out of her mouth. He tried to remain poised, clearing his throat before returning to his study.

Mammon:

Mammon was on his way to leave the house to go out and treat himself to whatever luxuries he could find. As he approached the staircase he stopped when he saw MC and Satan having what appeared to be a serious conversation at the bottom of the stairs. Wanting to know why Satan was having such a serious conversation with his human, Mammon hung back and hid behind a wall so that he could overhear them.

“I can’t believe what you’re telling me, MC.” Satan sighed

“What?” MC asked, sounding offended.

“Of all the demons to have a crush on...”

‘What are they talking about? Who has she got a crush on?’

“But there’s nobody like him. He’s cute, he’s goofy, he’s an idiot.” She smiled

‘I’m an idiot, why can’t she like me??’

“Being an idiot is not a good thing, MC.” Satan mentally facepalmed.

“But I can’t resist him!” She giggled “Every time he gets so protective over me I find it absolutely adorable. And when he blushes...oh my heart goes crazy. I just hate how mean you brothers are to him.”

‘Wait...’

“But it’s Mammon!” Satan cries

‘WHAT’

“Yeah? I really like him, Satan. I might even go as far to say I love him.”

Mammon’s breathing became rapid and he had to lean his body against the wall to stop him from collapsing as his mind tried to process what he’d just heard.

Levi:

“What are you playing, MC?” Beel asked as they sat on the sofa together.

“It’s a human game - ‘Sims’” she smiled at him “You basically create your own life and do whatever you want with it.”

“Oh that’s cool. Did you make yourself?” He asked, interested in her game.

Nearby, Levi was lurking. He had lost the disk to a simulator game he wanted to play and was adamant MC stole it. After seeing her walk downstairs with her laptop, he followed her so that he could catch her in the act of playing it. Tip toeing up the hallway, he made sure to hear hers and Beel’s conversation.

“Yeah I made myself.” She spoke proudly “that’s me there.” She said, clicking on her characters profile.

“Hey it says you’re married. Who is your husband?” Beel asked excited.

MC’s cheeks went red “uh...him.” She smiled innocently, pointing at the screen.

“Kinda looks like Levi.” He nodded.

Levi furrowed his eyebrows after hearing his name.

“That’s because it is.” MC admitted sheepishly. “One thing I love about the sims is you can make your crush and be with them in the virtual world because you’re too scared to admit your feelings in the real world.” She laughed

“You like Levi?” Beel beamed.

“Yeah, he’s cute.” MC giggled, comfortably admitting her feelings to Beel.

Levi’s cheeks went red hearing MC’s confession. He’d completely forgotten about his game.

Satan:

“I don’t know what to do Asmo.” MC sighed, taking a sip of her wine.

“Just tell him or else I will.” Asmo exclaimed.

MC groaned as she laid back on his bed. She’d tried avoiding Satan recently hoping it would stop her from crushing on him. It was all going well until she accidentally bumped into him on the stairs - she almost stumbled over her feet and fell but thankfully Satan quickly got hold of her waist before she could tumble.

“I wish he’d just let me fall.” She moaned “at least then I’d have a reason to dislike him.”

As she continued moaning, Satan approached Asmo’s room knowing MC was in there. He wanted to check up on her after her near injury earlier. He was surprised to see her run off after he’d helped her. As he approached the door, he could hear their voices - having consumed a lot of wine neither of the pair seemed to know how to speak at a reasonable volume.

“Oh stop it, MC! You’re worrying over nothing - just tell Satan how you feel and if he doesn’t like you back then you can come back to me and I’ll make you forget him.”

“Asmo!”

Satan’s eyebrows knitted. Were they talking about him?

“How would I tell him? Would I be really blunt and just come out with ‘I think I’m in love with you, please don’t run away’ or play it cool?” He heard MC ask.

‘In love with me?!’ He thought, eyes widening. Having heard enough, Satan turned around and started walking away from Asmo’s room. ‘So that’s why she’s been avoiding me...’

Asmo:

MC was at her favourite nail salon in Devildom. She often went there when Asmo was too busy to help paint her nails. She’d gotten to know the staff there, one demon in particular. She’d struck quite a friendship with the demon and actually began opening up to her whether it be about her life at RAD or boy troubles.

“This Asmo guy too busy again then?” The demon asked, as they carefully applied nail polish to MC’s fingers.

“Yeah, he’s quite a sociable demon so I don’t get to spend much time with him.” She sighed

Outside, Asmo walked past, doing a double take when he recognised the back of MC’s head. ‘How dare she go to someone else to have her nails painted’ he thought to himself as he stepped into the salon. Not wanting to make a scene, he patiently waited nearby, noticing that MC was nearly finished.

“Does he know you’re here?” The demon asked

“No.” MC chuckled “he tells me off when I come here but I can’t help it if he’s not around!”

Asmo pouted when he realised they were talking about him.

“Do you like being told off by him?” The demon laughed.

“I do anything I can to spend time with him.” MC joked “even if it means I’m in his bad books”

“Sounds to me like you like him.”

“I wish he knew that. Perhaps he’d have time to paint my nails if he knew I loved him.” MC chuckled.

Asmo stiffened when he heard her words. Of course she loved him.

Beel:

MC flopped down on Belphie’s bed, a troubled look on her face. It was just the two of them in the room - MC made sure of that when she knocked on the door. Although she knew the bedroom was clear of Beel, she didn’t think to check to see if he was in the adjoining bathroom.

Beel poked his head out after hearing MC’s voice but immediately hid back behind the door when he realised she seemed to be looking for Belphie only.

“Something on your mind?” Belphie asked, looking down at MC’s tense body.

“Is it obvious?” She asked

He chuckled at her before discarding whatever his attention was on previously. “You want to talk about it?”

“I was hoping you’d actually be able to give me some advice.”

“Oh? Do go on.”

“It’s about Beel.” She sighed. Beel’s ears pricked up at the sound of his name. “Do you think he could ever like someone like me?”

“What’s brought this on?” He laughed at her. “Beel loves you.”

“He loves me as a friend, Belphie.” She corrected him before sighing “I can’t say that I feel the same way about him anymore. I can’t get him off my mind.”

“Oh” Belphie smiled “you like him”

“A little more than I planned.” She pulled a face.

Pleasantly surprised at her confession, Beel pressed his ear against the door, eager to hear more.

Belphie:

“I can’t believe what I’m saying.” MC flapped, pacing across the room. “It’s crazy!”

“Yes, yes it is.” Levi spoke in disbelief

“He literally killed me and yet I have an insane crush on him.”

“This is like one of those tragic fan fictions I’ve read...” Levi breathed

“Not helping.” MC muttered, stopping her pacing to scowl at him.

They were sat in one of the classrooms at RAD as MC confessed her feelings for Belphie. She hadn’t even realised she felt this way about the youngest brother until she saw him talking to another woman and jealousy practically swallowed her.

“MC calm down!” Levi urged, getting flustered.

Belphie was at his locker - which happened to be close by to the class room. Hearing the familiar voices, he walked over after grabbing his bag. Leaning against the door frame, he peaked in the door seeing Levi and MC in a moment of conflict.

“I can’t calm down!” MC cried “I didn’t even realise I liked him until today and now that I’ve realised my mind is going crazy.”

‘MC likes someone?’ Belphie thought to himself.

“I must be going crazy” she repeated “all he was doing was talking to the girl - they weren’t even flirting. Tell me Levi, in these fan fictions you’ve read, what happens after the heroine falls in love with the demon that killed her?”

‘That’s an oddly specific quest—oh’ Belphie was taken aback. ‘Does MC like me?’

Diavolo:

Diavolo had come over to the House of Lamentation to discuss important matters with Lucifer. He also happened to come over on the same night that Lucifer had planned to do bedroom checks. Diavolo found the idea amusing and requested that he joined the eldest brother on his little job. They made their way round the house, checking on every brother until it came to the last bedroom, MC’s room.

MC was sprawled out across her bed on her D.D.D talking to Solomon. The two of them were very close and being the only two humans in Devildom, they shared everything with each other.

Solomon knew MC had a crush on Diavolo - in fact he knew it as soon as he first saw them together.

The pair were currently gossiping over her little crush when Lucifer and Diavolo approached her open door. With her back to them, MC didn’t realise they could hear everything she was saying.

“So are you still madly in love with Diavolo?”

“I’m not in love with him, Solomon!” MC laughed. Lucifer and Diavolo raised their eyebrows, sharing a look. “Although I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to be the future Queen of Devildom.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened and Diavolo smirked, realising just who she was talking about.

“I saw him at RAD earlier and he looked so fine, honestly Solomon the things I would do to that demon - the things I’d let him do to me actually.” She corrected herself. “He’s so gorgeous...maybe I am in love with him!”

“I’ve heard enough.” Lucifer muttered quietly, leaving the room. Diavolo followed him but gave one last look to the oblivious MC still yapping away on the phone. For the rest of the evening he couldn’t remove the cheeky grin from his face.

[thetypedwriter]

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So. 

This is a first. 

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 

The reason for this is myriad. 

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 

2,000 pages. 

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 

I never left. 

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 

100 chapters out of 188. 

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time. 

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 

Urgh. 

I just can’t. 

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 

I truly, truly get that. 

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 

Okay. 

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 

[katnissmellarkkk]

I *DEMAND* part 3 of shattered pearl. I repeat. I *DEMAND*.

Hahahahaha omg. Well, I decided to legitimately dig through the archives of my writing drafts and found chapter three of the Peeta-Wasn’t-Hijacked fic. It’s been given like 1,000 different names on different sites. I’ve never loved any of them. And I don’t really think this is my best writing ngl. But I also figure ... why be so stingy, ya know? If I have an incomplete draft, that I probably won’t finish, why not post a little bit? Especially since I literally left everyone and their brother who were reading this fic on a cliffy for over a year.

With that said.... I wrote this part like ... 15 months ago? 14 ? 13 ? Something like that. And I haven’t edited it since so ... yeah! Here’s a small chunk of chapter three! 🥳🥳🥳 Hope it’s better than I remember it being!

But it’s lacking something and it’s only then I realize, what I’m searching for inside Gale’s mouth, is the spark that only Peeta’s ever ignited in me. I keep waiting in vain for the warmth that started in my stomach and then rose up and exploded in my chest, for the craving that no matter what I couldn’t manage to satisfy, for the thrilling, almost hysterical, tingly feeling, to overcome me and leave me lightheaded in a completely foreign way. A way that couldn’t be attributed to lack of oxygen.

But it never does. I pull back and wipe my mouth carelessly on my arm and sigh, already sensing Gale’s demeanor taking a nose dive at my lackluster reaction.

I’m not disappointed when I look to see his expression. His eyes are frustrated, his mouth is downturned, his eyebrows are pinched together. And I feel as bad as I knew I would. Because no matter what, I’m hurting someone I deeply care for.

But how I feel upon seeing Gale’s face isn’t even comparable to the amount of remorse that fills me, that overtakes my entire being, when I see Peeta standing in the doorway, having watched our entire exchange.

/

I yelled his name as he disappeared down the hall. I tried to rip out all the needles and wires connecting me to the machines and the stiff, sterilized bed but Gale used all his strength to push me down flat. I was overpowered and exhausted and my left side was screaming mercilessly, and I don’t even know what pain was the bruised lung and what pain was my hurt ribs and what pain was my heart violently smashing into the pit of my stomach.

All I know is that if I had been able to reach Peeta before he evaporated, I have no clue what I would have said to him.

What I could have said to make it alright.

Gale tried to talk to me again after that but I entirely tuned him out, no longer caring if I wounded his feelings, or anyone else's for that matter.

It seems like no matter what I do, no matter how careful or cautious or preemptive I try to be, someone still got hurt in the end.

I wish I could just shut out the world, like I did during those first few weeks in Thirteen. Hide inside closets when I had a flashback. Shove myself into a minuscule crawl space with every nightmare. Refuse to speak to anyone who wasn't Gale or my family. Only eat when my mother nearly forced me. Show no remorse for how rude or how clinically insane I came across.

But now there was an agreement in place, an agreement I made to protect the victors—namely the one who just disappeared down the hall on me—and the people who had no voice on their own. The people who’s only chance was a half-crazed, shell-shocked, battle worn seventeen year old girl, who was just gunned down on national television.

Even if I wanted to retreat to some safe haven inside my head—if such a thing even existed for me—like Annie Cresta, I knew it could never happen.

For me, that wasn’t an option. If I don’t fulfill my duties to Coin, Peeta, Johanna, Annie and probably countless more people will suffer. The districts would undoubtably suffer. Gale would suffer. My mother and Prim would suffer.

I was proven right when later that same night Plutarch came to visit me again. I'd been lying on my side to avoid having to see Gale, who was still soldered to my bedside. My good side was thankfully opposite his seat.

When the Gamemaker spoke I thought I would be forced back to work. Forced to head back to the rebels and engage in their plans.

And I was resigned to it, well aware all along that I wouldn't be given the luxury of time to grieve the hurt I just caused Peeta. Or even the pain I knew I was inflicting upon Gale. The constant seesaw my heart was bouncing up and down on.

I was endlessly thankful that I was still pumped with morphling when Plutarch said that I was needed in Coin's office, because it heavily suppressed any real emotion I had brewing deep inside.

Morphling can cause you to let down your guard sometimes, make you say or do things you wouldn't otherwise or allow things to happen you'd ordinarily have the sense to stop. But it also causes all your severe emotions, all your heightened feelings, to dull as well. And for that, in light of everything that had just transpired, I was eternally grateful for.

When the doctor had removed all the needles from my arm, and I had been given a robe to go over my hospital gown—which, shockingly, was even uglier and thinner and itchier than the gowns they gave in the Capitol hospitals—Gale escorts me down the halls, through the corridors and to President Coin’s office.

I don’t speak to him the entire time. Looking at him makes my stomach churn with remorse and regret, though I’m not even sure who those feelings are directed towards. I’m not even sure how to articulate the way I feel right now.

And, as much as I try to force him out of my mind—as much as I do my best to rip him out from wherever he crawled beneath my skin and flooded into my veins—I inexplicably miss Peeta.

In more ways than I even know how to decipher. Even inside my own head.

I thought that feeling of longing would have ebbed away once he was rescued from Snow and his twisted mansion, but even knowing he’s safe here in Thirteen, I still crave his presence next to me.

I still want him next to me almost all the time.

It’s at least partially attributable to the fact that for so long, it was me and Peeta against the world. He has been my partner in this whirlwind rollercoaster since the first games and, even when I feel like every single aspect that could potentially go wrong has, sometimes it seems like I couldn’t have gotten luckier with who was chosen that fateful reaping to stand by my side the entire horrific ride.

I wipe my eyes as inconspicuously as I can but Gale sees and almost instinctively puts his hand on my shoulder. And proves he knows me better than I give him credit for. “I’ll talk to him, Katniss.”

“Don’t,” I immediately hiss. “You’ll just make it worse, Gale. He-he,” I struggle with explaining what I want to say and I curse my best friend for even addressing my moment of weakness because now I have to go talk to Coin, looking like an unstable mess—with a near bullet wound—and I blurt out the very first thing I can think of. “He doesn’t even know you, okay? You’ll just-“

There’s no malice in Gale’s voice as he softly replies, “Well, he was fine when I went and saw him before you woke up.”

I stop now, dead in my tracks. “You saw him? After I was shot?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah, I felt like should check on him. I know...” He pauses and looks upwards and I recognize, once again, this whole thing isn’t easy for him either. “I know he means a lot to you. And I heard what happened when he saw you go down. So I went and checked in on him...” He stops again before shrugging nonchalantly. “He was calmer by the time I saw him. He was nice. He’s always been nice.” At that Gale rolls his eyes. “Too nice. Probably why Snow wanted to hurt him.”

I start walking again, moving ahead of him a few paces. “You’re not helping,” I state, my voice a monotone.

“I’ll talk to him,” Gale offers again, running to catch up.

“Please don’t, okay? Just let it be. I don’t even know if he’ll speak to me, I don’t want to have to worry about what you’ll say to him.”

I vigorously shake off his hand on my shoulder when he tries to comfort me again, and feel him root into place as I make the rest of the way to Coin’s office.

And I wonder if I hurt him now too.

I wonder if I managed to completely annihilate them both from me in one night.

/

Much to my surprise and, to be completely honest, my utter disappointment, Coin doesn’t want me to head back out and fight for the rebellion. She doesn’t want me to even film more propos.

Plutarch does, but his ideas now are pretty frivolous and have more to do with him being still stuck in the fantasy of putting on a good show and less to do with fighting for the good of the country.

Coin simply says, “You did your job, Miss Everdeen. You united the districts,” in her calm, disingenuous—completely unsettling—tone.

And argument I put up is met with a simple shake of the head and a pursing of her lips. All indisputable rejections, her cold, blank eyes telling me wordlessly that in no way could I sway her once her mind was made up.

Still doesn’t stop me from trying though.

“I want to help the rebels,” I plead, looking to Boggs behind Coin’s chair, his face still stoic but his eyes giving me a look that isn’t altogether dismissive.

That was something. It was more than I was getting from either Coin or Plutarch.

Coin though brushes off my words and cuts me down infuriatingly quick with a single sentence. “Plutarch wanted to see Peeta earlier, talk about some propos. But when he sent for him, one of the doctors working with Peeta said he wasn’t having a good day.”

Her tone is smooth and pleasant enough but there was an undercurrent to her words that she knew I would hear. “Do you know how Peeta is? I would have thought with your waking up this morning, he’d be in better shape than he was but if you two aren’t getting-“

“Me and Peeta are fine,” I snap, not liking whatever she’s implying.

She nods, slowly at me, choosing her next sentiment carefully. “Well, let’s hope so. We need both of you now to remain the faces of this revolution. And I wouldn’t want you to do anything rash because of... problems between you and your... between you and Peeta.”

I’m shaking my head, feigning certainty, before she even finishes. “That’s not why I want to help the rebels,” I insist firmly.

“Irregardless, Miss Everdeen, we don’t have a job for you. You aren��t qualified to go into the fight and we no longer need your propos to unite the districts. Your job is done. Thank you for your help.”

And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m being definitively dismissed now. Indefinitely.

I don’t make any effort to keep my cool, instead choosing to storm out of the room, slamming the door cacophonously behind me and wonder why I let that woman get to me so much. Why her words and implications slice me open like a knife.

Why no matter how much I try, I just can’t like her.

Something about her rubs me the wrong way and, once again, I wish Peeta was here with me in the room, because he of all people could understand what about Coin felt off and strange and so familiar.

I curse myself again, as I suddenly miss him even more than before.

Unable to force myself to put my focus elsewhere—especially now that Gale is surely angry too—I change directions and head towards the recovery room.

I don’t even knock before entering. I push the door open, only to find him sitting on top of his bed, a sketchbook in hand, a lot more tranquil than I pictured.

He looks up as I enter—and then, simultaneously freeze in the doorway, like the coward I truly am inside. Before he can speak though, I blurt out, “I know you’re mad about me kissing Gale and I don’t know how much you saw or heard, but it wasn’t... it wasn’t exactly...” I stop because once again, I’m unprepared and out of my element and have no rhyme or reason in what I’m trying to say. I don’t know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say.

Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t screw always everything up. “It wasn’t,” I finally force myself to continue, off his patient and somewhat bewildered glance. “It wasn’t what I wanted... I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t, I don’t even know what-“

He finally puts me out of my misery now. “Katniss,” he speaks my name along with a sigh. I watch carefully, feeling a lump build in my throat, as his blonde brows furrow over his baby blues.

He shakes his head, slow and calm. Far more reasonable than I ever anticipated. “I’m not mad at you, Katniss,” he promises, with all the genuineness in the world.

I bite my lip, befuddled by his words. “But... where have you been then?” Why did you leave me? A small voice in the back of my mind demands.

He shrugs, his gaze falling down to his bed now. His demeanor is almost embarrassed, I realize with a start.

“I wanted to give you and Gale space. I’ve been practically mauling you since you woke up so I thought-“

“But I didn’t want you to leave,” I abruptly burst out, unable to shove the words down any longer.

A pang of embarrassment shoots through me though, for the pathetic crack, evident in my tone. And I mentally berate myself.

Not for the embarrassment. For the pathetic crack itself.

And for the fact that somehow I’m the frenzied one here and Peeta is the voice of reason.

Which used to be our norm but after everything that’s transpired, I would have thought things would be reversed by now.

He just stares at me for a long moment, carefully considering his next words.

Finally, he opens his arms slowly and utters, “Come here,” in a tender murmur and I practically fly into his arms before I can second guess the offer.

I feel my injured side screaming as I curl up like a ribbon in his arms, but I surpress the wince to the best of my ability and instead bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent like a mad girl.

He softly presses his lips to my messy locks, carefully massaging the back of my head soothingly. “I’m sorry I ran away,” he whispers, barely loud enough for even me to hear. “I was just embarrassed. I know—I’ve always known deep down—that it’s not right for me to constantly hold you to the things you said in the games. Or to project my own feelings onto you.”

“You didn’t,” I refute venomously, my brows knitting together.

“Katniss, I know you and Gale have had something between you for a long time.”

“Gale was just a friend until me and you came back from our first games. Maybe he wanted to be more even before, I don’t know, but I never felt anything romantic for him. I swear.”

“You don’t have to defend your feelings to me,” he states softly.

“I know, it’s just...” I sigh, moving to sit upright across his thighs. “No matter what I do, it’s wrong. If I say I’m confused, you’re both hurting. If I say I want to kiss you or sleep with you or just be with you, I’m leading you on because I can’t-I can’t make any promises about my feelings right now, because I don’t even know up from down anymore. And if I say I do or don’t want to kiss Gale or be around him or hunt with him still, I’m hurting him or giving him the wrong idea or telling him the wrong things, and it all gets confused and there’s an entire rebellion that I’m the face of, and now I don’t even know if I’m a part of that, but Snow and his followers all hate me still so I know family still won’t be safe until this is all over. And you. You and Johanna and Annie went through the ringer over me. And Gale gets upset whenever he sees us together—it hurts him to see us—but I can’t always seperate you two from one another and I just-I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Peeta lets me rant the whole entire spiel out, his hand slowly moving in circles to rub my back, from the top of my spine down to my backside. “Katniss,” he whispers once I’m done. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I get it. You’re under immense pressure. The last thing I want to do is make things harder on you.”

“You’re not,” I say, shaking my head insistently. “You’re not making anything worse, Peeta. It’s-it’s not you.”

“Okay,” he concedes and unconsciously wraps me up tighter in his arms. “Just relax, okay? Relax and breathe.”

I quiver and quake against him. “I don’t think I can.”

I barely realize I’m crying until Peeta leans down to kiss my tearstained cheek softly. “Katniss, it’s okay. I’m not mad. And Gale shouldn’t be. If he is, then that’s on him. The rebellion isn’t just your responsibility. Do not let them put all that weight on your shoulders. I know they already have but it’s not all your responsibility. And no one is going to let anything happen to your mom or sister.” He pushes my hair away from my forehead, pressing his lips there for a long moment. “Or you. I promise I will not let anything else happen to you.”

I swallow hard as he rests his forehead against my temple. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes that it will make my head stop spinning somehow. Deep breaths to center myself fail miserably and in the end, I feel my bruised ribs and lung disagree with the movement and ache worse than before.

Peeta feels me cringing against him in pain and remains careful as he shifts, reaching for something off his bedside table.

I’m in too much pain to react as pushes off my robe and tugs my hospital gown down in order to slide against my skin, his hand holding it firmly to my side.

The icy temperature brings some sort of relief to me almost instantly, and I let out an audible sigh of relief, feeling my rigid body relax even a minuscule amount for the first time.

“I don’t blame you for having feelings for Gale,” Peeta murmurs, drawing my attention back to our conversation and away from my painful left side. “And if you want to be with him, I won’t hold it against you. I’m not going to lie, I’d be ... sad but... it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be your friend. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be at jere for you however you needed me. There’s no ultimatums here, Katniss. I’m still here for you, even if you’d rather be with Gale.”

I pause for a long moment, absorbing his words. He’d be willing to be my friend, even if I hurt him? Even if I chose someone else over him? Even after everything we went through, even after all the ways he’d been abused because Snow could see how much I care for him? How much I need him. He’s still willing to put it all aside and be there for me, no strings attached.

And I try not to compare but my brain draws the conclusion almost involuntarily, and I can’t stop myself from realizing that, in the same position, Gale would likely not be telling me the same thing.

I burrow my face deeper in his shoulder, shutting my eyes in exhaustion.

Peeta catches me off-guard, moving my hair aside to kiss my neck, eliciting a flare of heat in the place where his lips brush my skin, and I may not know exactly how I feel, but I know in that moment exactly what I want right now.

“The only person I want to be with tonight is you,” I whisper honestly, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to somehow understand an emotion I don’t know how to admit. “The only person I want right now is you, Peeta.”

[thewritingginger]

“Only good girls get gifts for Christmas” with Jumin/fem!Reader please!

We’re not gonna talk about the lateness of this. I hope you enjoy it and thank you for waiting 😅

imma be real I re-read this and edited it like 3 times and the last run-through I just accepted what was on the page so mind any possible mistakes.

Enjoy ~

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Pairing: Jumin Han x Fem! Reader Word count: 3,335 words Warning(s): NSFW 18+, dominant/submissive, masturbation, sex toy, mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, over stimulation, slight daddy kink, pet names; Kitten, slight degrading, fingering, some praise, super late oops

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It’s nearing 11 o’clock and Jumin is finally getting home from work. Coming through the door he made sure to be quiet just in case you’re sleeping. Putting his briefcase down on the dining room table he sighs, unbuttoning his blazer as he makes his way over to your shared bedroom. With his hand on the nob he pauses when he hears what sounds to be soft moans coming from the other side of the door.

Opening the door slowly he peeks in to see quite the sight.

You’re there, sprawled out on the center of the bed wearing nothing but one of his striped shirts completely unbuttoned, your chest bare. One of your hands is cupping and squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers. As your other hand lays work between your open thighs. Stroking your soaked heat. Toes curled, soft breathy gasps and moans leave your rose petal lips. Watching this scandalous act brings a conniving smirk to his lips. His eyes roam over your unaware body, skin flushed pink as you edge yourself closer to your finish.

“Well. What do we have here?” He says breaking the silence. His sudden words startle you. Jumping you curl up to look at him resting against the door frame.

“Wh- Jumin how long have you been standing there?” Your voice is shaky from embarrassment. “I think a better question would be, how long has this been going on for?” He says walking over to your curled form. Folding the front of your shirt closed you respond.

“What do you mean? Well I guess not for very long. Maybe about 20 minutes.” Jumin chuckles at your shy response.

“No, no. I mean how long have you been pleasuring yourself without my promotion?” His clarification makes your face heat up.

“Uh. I don’t know.” You stammer, honestly unable to give an exact answer.

“Oh, well that’s very naughty of you, Kitten.” He tsks.

Walking over to the closet he opens it to pull out a small box. You watch as he opens it, retrieving two small black items. “You know, I wanted to wait till Christmas to give this to you but I think it’d be quite enjoyable to use now.” Jumin walks over to you. His hand extends, handing you something. Placing the mystery item in your hand reveals a black rubbery ball with a loop at the end. Once you see it you realise what it is.

Pulling out the chair from your desk, draping his blazer on the back. He sits at the end of the bed, staring at you. Your heart is racing at what could be going through his mind.

“Well… what are you waiting for? Continue.” He says sitting back in the chair. His legs crossed, arms relaxed on the arm-rests. Stunned, you take a second to respond.

“Continue? Jumin~” You echo his command, trying to question him, you’re cut off.

“Yes. Continue, using that.” A mix of embarrassment and excitement swirls in your chest. As he sits at the end of the bed, waiting for you to move. His form radiating a domineering confidence that sends a shiver down your spine.

Observing the new toy you bite your lip as you lean back against the pillows. “What do I do with it?” You ask earnestly. You couldn’t find a switch or button to turn it on and it didn’t seem like a toy for penetrating yourself with.

“Put it inside you.” Is all he said, giving you nothing to work with. Adjusting yourself on the pillows, you open the front of the shirt covering you. Taking your time, making a show out of it. Running your fingertips down the seams, eyes locked on Jumin's expression. His eyes follow your fingers like a hawk. Parting the fabric to reveal your smooth skin you see him raise a brow slightly, pleased with his view. With the loop of the toy hanging on your thumb you begin sliding your hands down your front over your breasts and across your opening thighs. Going up and down your form a few times teasing not only the eyes on you but yourself as well. Dipping one hand between your legs momentarily draws a slight growl from the man before you.

You smirk inwardly at his reaction.

Knowing he’s the one in control you can’t help but like the sense of power you feel watching him wait for you to carry out his orders. Taking the small ball in your fingers you start teasing your entrance with it. Drawing a blissful sigh from the contact. Once the toy is lubricated with your slick you slowly push it in.

The way you stretch around its shape pulls a sigh from your lips. Once the toy is fully in you, nothing but the loop sticking out. You bring both hands back up to massage your breasts, pinching your nipples every so often. The small sharp manipulations create small waves of pleasure through your body.

Without warning you feel the toy inside begin to vibrate. Your eyes shoot to Jumin, his stoic expression remains unwavering, you then notice the little remote in his hand. “I feel I’ve failed to mention what that little toy is, Kitten. Do you like it?” He asks, a smirk blooms on his lips. He seems to be enjoying himself a bit too much. But the soft vibrations coursing through your core feels good. You can’t help but give him an honest response.

“Yes.” He smiles at your breathy answer.

With your sex aching for more attention you draw one of your hands down. Sliding it along your inner thigh continuing your tease. Before making contact with your wetness you are halted. “Stop! I don’t believe I’ve allowed you to do that.” He says, stone-faced. Swallowing the saliva in your mouth you group your thoughts.

“Can I touch myself, please?” You ask, your voice shaky. Closing your eyes hoping he says ‘yes’. Feeling so hot and needing more than what you are being given. In effort to satisfy your senses you continue to let your palms roam your bare skin.

Humming he tilts his head to the side in thought.

“Tell me,  why should I let you touch yourself?  You never felt the need to ask before. Why now?” You let out a sigh of frustration. He’s got you right where he wants you, defenseless and at his mercy.

“Please. I’ll do what you say. I’ll be good!” You grip the bed sheets when you feel the vibrations get more powerful.

“You better be Y/n. Cause you know what they say, only good girls get gifts for Christmas.”

He watches your body tense. The look of frustration and lust is so tantalizing to watch. The blend of pain and pleasure apparent on your flushed face. How he loves to torture you. Giving you just enough to keep you wanting more. Building your desire for him. His touch. His taste. His gaze.

Everything.

His selfish desire to fill your mind with him, drives his actions. Wanting to make you so consumed with the thought of him. The thought of what he will do. Of what he *could* do.

“I’ll be good, I promise.” You plead. Your end feeling so far away, you resist the urge to help yourself. Knowing the only way to get there is to play his game, his deliciously-devious game.

Uncrossing his legs, leaning forward he looks over your needy body. “Ask me properly and then maybe I’ll consider.” You can see him smiling inwardly. The vibrations in your core make you groan through your response.

“Daddy, please let me touch myself for you.” You say. You look at him through your lashes. Hoping your words were enough to sway him.

Reclined in his chair, his head tilted, kissing his teeth before speaking. Every silent second feels like an eternity. “Open yourself up for me.” He says.

Your flushed face feels hotter from his lewd command. Licking your dry lips you spread your legs wider. Gliding your hands down your torso to your thighs. Your fingertips dance along the edge of your labia.

Sliding your fingers between your folds you begin to spread your lips for him to see your essence glisten in the dim lighting, coating your digits. Moving up and down your slit, your body twitching from the subtle touches, wanting more. Tired of waiting you test the waters by making a few slow circles over your clitoris. With no objection you continue. The pleasure stirring inside your belly makes your toes curl, and your eyes close. Resting  your head back to sigh at the smooth waves of warmth coursing through you. Between the soft hum in your vagina and the manipulations of your bundle of nerves your body temperature spikes and your head lulls against the pillows.

Watching your fingers work yourself makes Jumin’s pants become increasingly tighter. His bulge just aching to be released from it’s cloth confinement. Having just gotten started and intending to hold onto this moment longer he breaks the silence. “Slower!” His voice shakes you from your own world. Opening your lidded eyes you look at him as he repeats himself “I said, slow your movements.” His voice, more stirn. Reluctantly you do as you’re told. Circling your sensitive bud at a painfully slow pace.

“Good girl.” He praises. His voice, a low purr.  

The sound of your whimpers fills the air, the light touches drive you insane. Your hips begin to move, hoping to make more friction. Your actions cause him to tsk, turning off the toy. “Did I tell you you could move your hips, Kitten?” He asks sternly. Pushing your butt into the bed to hold yourself back you sigh in annoyance. “You didn’t answer me, Kitten.”

“No, you didn’t.” You say.

“That’s right, I didn't. So unless you can be good, Daddy isn’t gonna allow you to cum.” Your eyes shoot to him, a wicked smirk on his lips.

“Please, don’t.” You moan.

“Well if you do as I tell you then you won't have to worry about it.” He chuckles. Enjoying the power he has over you his body begins to warm up from the excitement. Turning the toy back on he then loosens his tie and slides it off of his neck, dropping it to the floor. Slowly making work of the buttons on his dress shirt he sees your hungry eyes study him. Exposing his chest, revealing his lean physique. He lets out a silent sigh as the cool air of the room hits his heated skin.

Watching you torture yourself and tease your twitching body makes Jumin quite pleased. The way your face contorts in frustration. Your mewls alone could send him over the edge right then and there. He needs more. “Keep your eyes on me.” He says. Forcing your eyes open, your vision blurred from lust. Your gaze roams over his body, admiring his toned chest when you see one of his strong hands working his clothed bulge. Massaging his erection through his pants pulls low groans from his lips, noticing your fixed gaze he chuckles. “Like what you’re seeing, Kitten?” He asks. You nod your head with a breathy moan.

A sigh escapes Jumins lips as he undoes his pants, a much needed release of tension. Reaching under the waistline of his boxer briefs he grips his girth. You watch as he pulls out his swollen member, precum coating the tip. His thumb catches the bead and rubs the tip slightly.

Looking up you meet with a stormy gaze. His eyes filled with lust. Without breaking eye contact Jumin draws a slow line across his palm with his tongue. Wrapping his spit coated hand around his cock he begins making slow strokes up and down his shaft. Watching his movements makes you unconsciously lick your lips.

“You like watching me stroke myself?” He asks. His lewd question lights you on fire. “Yes.” Your voice breathy. The air around you seems to be getting hotter with every passing second.

“You’re such a little slut, Kitten. Getting off by a man rubbing his cock to you playing with yourself. Your cunt dripping with need around a toy, but that’s not enough for you is it?” His degrading words make you moan, nodding your head.

“Pull it out of you.” He commands. Obeying you pull the still vibrating toy from your pulsating core. Whimpering at the loss, toy in hand. “Place it on your clit.” Without question you replace your fingers with the vibrating orb and your head falls back. A pleased sigh leaves your throat. “I didn’t say your eyes could leave mine!” He booms. Lifting your head you meet his eyes again.

Rubbing the toy against your clitoris, sends waves of ecstasy through your veins. Nearing your end your body tenses, resisting to close your eyes. Your toes curl. Your breath is rapid and just as you are about to come undone the toy stops.

Releasing a groan of frustration you notice the smile on the raven haired man's face. “Why?” You ask.

“You didn’t think I was just gonna let you cum did you? Oh, Kitten…” He tsks. His patronizing tone aggravates you. “Maybe I should make you aware that this is a punishment for your naughty behavior and you only get to cum when I allow it. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.” You pout. Before anything else is said you suck through your teeth as the toy comes back to life without warning.

This little back and forth game went on for what seemed like hours. Each time bringing you so close to your end to then pull it from under you. You have lost count of the amount of times he’d denied you your pleasure.

Your body is so sensitive that each time the toy turns on you are seemingly seconds away from your end.

He stops it, your body convulses. “What’s wrong, Kitten?” He asks your tear streaked face. Your breath hitches.

“I can’t take it anymore.” You plead earnestly. Your body aches with need and tension. Muscles are sore from contracting.

“Yes you can and you will! You’re gonna be my good little slut and count to five for me. One for every time I stop and when we get to five I’ll let you cum. Can you do that for me, Kitten?”

“You promise?” You ask nervously.

“I promise.”

So the countdown begins. Each one more agonizing than the last.

Turning the vibrations on you clench your teeth. Your other hand holds your breast. Playing with your nipple. Your eyes close as the toy stops. “Begin counting!” He commands.

“O-one.” Your breath catches in your throat. Not even a second after you answered the vibrations begin again.

His large hand still stroking his cock as he watches you plead with your eyes. A choked cry comes from your mouth. Bracing yourself as you know what's to come. He stops the toy.

“T-two.”

Again.

“Three.”

On the fourth one you are in agonizing pain. The need to release is so strong. Not even having a second to breath before the torture starts again. “Look at me, Kitten. Just two more.” His words don’t help relax you.

It stops again. Your body shakes violently. Your legs close unconsciously. Tears stream down your cheeks. “Open your legs, Kitten.” Doing as you’re told your shaky legs part.

“F-four.” You count. Just one more. You don’t know if you can handle one more.

On this last one your hips scream at you. The vibrations coursing through your being send your head spinning. Your mouth slack-jawed as you look at Jumin. Thumb placed over the control button, his other, working his member. “I’m... Please ~” Your words come out but cut off by cries of pain and pleasure. You gasp as the toy stops once again.

“F-f-five.” This is the last one. Your shaky body, sensitive from the whiplash of pleasure it’s been given. Having a moment of rest your chest rises and falls rapidly with exhaustion.

Getting up Jumin walks over to your twitching body. “Now c-can I cum, Daddy? Please ~.” You ask. Your words, filled with deprivation. Uncaring of how you sounded.

“Yes, Kitten.” Sitting on the mattress next to you. You almost could cry just from his words.

“R-really? You aren’t lying?” You ask.

“No I’m not. Just keep your legs open for me.” Placing a hand on your inner thigh you whimper. The contact feels electric. His skin is so hot against yours.  

Looking into your eyes he presses the button once again. The jolt of electricity makes you let of a choked groan. The waves of your impending release courses through you. Knowing you can have it makes your excitent grow.

The room is filled with the sound of your moans and gasps. Watching as Jumin strokes his shaft, his fist moving faster than before. “You gonna cum for me, Kitten?” He asks.

“I- I can’t” You cry. Your overstimulated body twitches. Writhing on the mattress. You simultaneously feel everything and numb all at once.

“Yes you can love. Cum for Daddy.” His coaxing words makes you throw your head back. Searching desperately for your end. The one that seems so close but just not there.

“Please, Daddy. I-I can’t.”

From your pleading words Jumin throws the remote to the side, putting his hands between your legs. His fingertips play with your entrance. Coating them in your essence. Then sliding a long finger into your aching pussy, curling up. The intrusion pulls a guttural groan from your throat. “Ah, Jumin!” You moan his name. He adds another finger. His hands work both you and him.

A deep moan leaves his lips as he feels your walls squeeze around his fingers. His fist mimics it on his shaft. “Come on, Kitten. You’re so close.” He praises. His gaze, not leaving your face. Admiring how it contorts in pleasure. Your breathing becomes more rapid.

So close.

You feel the knocks in your belly becoming undone. Your mind clouds as your end is near and in an explosion to uphoria your vision goes white. Your back arches. Fingers gripping the sheets. Moans and cries seep from between your lips. Unconcerned with the volume of your voice. Your lover’s fingers, still moving within you. After what feels like a blissful eternity  your body falls slack to the mattress. Your chest heaving from your intense ride. The toy in your hand drops to be forgotten, vibrating against the sheets.

Not yet finished, Jumin removes his fingers from your heat. Climbing onto the mattress he gets between your legs and strokes himself till he reaches his end. His moans vibrate through his chest as he ejaculates onto your belly. His hand continues as he milks out every last drop of his seed.

Falling down, his arms on either side of you. His face in your neck. There is silence as you both bask in the afterglow of your highs. Both breathless. Satisfied. Chests heaving.

After a minute he places a trail of soft kisses on your shoulder and up your neck. “Are you okay?” His low voice whispers.

“Yes. More than okay.” You admit tiredly as you bring your weak arms around his neck.

“Good. Let me go get you a towel.” He tries to move but you stop him.

“Wait, just stay here for a little longer.”

He doesn’t respond. Just relaxes back down in your arms. In silent praise he peppers your skin with soft kisses as one of his hands gently moves up and down your side. Finally he cups your cheek to meet your gaze. “I love you, Y/n.” Before you can respond he pulls you in for a kiss. Your arms squeeze him a bit. Your response lies within your kiss.

After Jumin cleaned you up you spent the rest of the night tangled in his arms. Fingers brushing through your hair and chasing kisses against your skin.

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I hope that was enjoyable. I am slowly painfully so getting through my wip list.

Till next time.

💛 ~

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Primum Non Nocere ~ Gregory House x Katrina Black

This may or may not be a personal fic I make for myself, that everyone is welcome to read in case they miss House or sth, so yeah, enjoy the clown fiesta.

There are many words that can describe Doctor Gregory House, all of them ranging from “Brilliant Doctor” to “The Biggest Asshole”...However, there is one person who ever called him “Sweet”, and each time, she got called insane.

Even Stacy, who dated him for so long, looked at her as if she suddenly became a chimera or something, which speaks volumes for his character as a whole.

It’s been 15 years since Katrina moved to America, and 15 years since she begged Lisa Cuddy to allow her to practice Medicine and learn directly from the hospital itself, even though she barely finished highschool and was beginning Medicine University.

Lisa had no reason to accept her, but she was much too sweet and convincing, doing everything asked, from cleaning, to nursing, helping her with management stuff, and then, as years passed, she started clinic duty and steadily, but fast-paced, she achieved her dream of becoming a successful cardiologist, going as far as becoming the new head of the department, since the old one retired.

Just as expected, she became friends with Lisa, James and Greg very easily, and each of them treated her in their own way - As her mother, as her confidant...And as her Mentor, of sorts - As Gregory House was the harshest and biggest jerk in the world, but not even the coldest man alive could resist her weirdly innocent charm.

She was the one to remember the gruff man’s every birthday and give him gifts she made herself - Nothing big, but always meaningful, like a winter scarf, or cute little decorations, engraved medical things and so one - And of course, on every Christmas, apart from gifts, she would bring him marshmallow hot chocolate and other festive decorations for his office, so he won’t feel lonely or bad.

Sometimes he didn’t even realise it, but every time he needed a proper diagnostic opinion, or his interns screwed up, he’d page her, not exactly caring if she was busy with clinic work or with an important surgery, and he’d make fun of her for rushing for “No reason”.

Life is definitely difficult for a shy, young foreigner, all alone in the world, but somehow, with the help of this few people, she managed to find something that she lacked her whole childhood - A true “Family” and a place to call “Home”.

But for Gregory House, this woman, Katrina Black, has always been an enigma he couldn’t deduct - The greatest mystery that crossed his path - He wanted to know her, to understand her, to learn about her and her pain and maybe, for once, he won’t feel as miserable.

The past 5 years especially, after Stacy left him and he ultimately had to live in pain, addicted to pain killers, and while he got more and more bitter, he also began to appreciate, at least in his heart, the unconditional kindness and attention he receives from her

And so, here we are, 15 years after the moment that changed everything in their lives...

“It’s not inflammatory process. It’s not a clot, because Chase’s angio says so. And it’s not cancer, because her tush is perfect. Anybody else got an Aunt Elyssa with weird stuff?” House limped into his office, looking at the three subordinates that were sitting around aimlessly. “...Maybe it’s worth looking into-” Cameron began, but was quickly cut off by the elder one, who looked at the angio once again. “I though you said Carly’s angio was clean.” Gregory blinked, putting both angiograms on the board for a better peripheral view. “It WAS clean.” the Aussie insisted again. “You guys see the problem here?” House asked in his usual over the top way. “There’s no indication of any abnormalities, no lesions, no spurs, no mastis-” Foreman got up to get a better look at the pictures better. “Well, if you guys don’t know, how about I call for the help of our lovely foreigner? I bet she’s gonna be angry for getting her out of whatever surgery she has, but...It’s in the name of science, after all!” he gave a mocking smirk at the trio as he hit CodeRed on the pager.

As expected, it didn’t take long for the girl to arrive, despite being in full surgical outfit, blood still on her gloves and her scrub cover, panting from having to run all the way there.

“What happened?! Are you okay?!” she tried to speak, despite barely being able to catch her breath. “Nothing really. Nothing that would result in the immediate death of a patient, clearly, and as you can see, I’m perfectly fine as well. Why ever would you hurry up like that out of a surgery?” Gregory fooled around, watching the crestfallen expression on her face, as she took off her gloves and scrub covers, revealing the cute and childish green scrub that had foxes on the top. It was her signature style, really - Always wearing the cutest, most childish scrubs, with various animals or flowers, and she was the only one who did that, despite her age, and didn’t care about anyone’s opinions. In fact, others kinda found it pretty nice too, almost giving off a more light and hopeful approach to a hospital. “So...Let me get this straight...I was in the middle of an open heart surgery...And you paged me while I was stitching it back together...With a code red, nonetheless...And I put my subordinate to cover for me, thinking that something happened to you or whatever patient you have...And instead, I find you here with no problem, loitering around with the three stoogies - No offense -...Having a party. Woaw, Greg, be careful, you are overshadowing yourself with every passing day.” Katrina groaned, throwing in the bin the discardable surgery objects and  hopped on his desk, crossing her legs together nonchalantly. “Awwww, you love me, don’t you?” he retorted in a fake sweet tone, making the girl shake her head and chuckle. “Yeah, of course, who doesn’t?” she could barely keep herself from grinning at his silly self. “So what’s the real problem? What did they do?” “We are trying to see what’s wrong with Carly’s angiogram, and I figured perhaps the gorgeous eyes of an exotic, successful, intelligent woman, would be able to see the problem of another successful and intelligent woman.” he tried to speak with more honey than he ever did, just for the laughs. “The girl kissed by fire should dye her hair again. Also...It came to my understanding that most people have...A left and a right leg, right? Why does the angio have two left feet?” she asked, taking her hair out of the ponytail and messing it around. “Et voila! Without even knowing the patient’s problems properly, you saw the wrong when these guys didn’t. See, I told you the foreigner would get it faster than you.” House limped back to pat her head, looking at the three with judgement. “So...Who screwed up something so basic? I wouldn’t have expected someone that works under you to do such a stupid mistake -... No, wait, it was Chase, wasn’t it?” Kat smirked, looking at the Aussie with a playful glint in her eyes. “Wh-What?! Why did you think it was me?!” Chase looked at her with revolt. “Are you trying to tell me it WASN’T you?” she pressed on, watching him blink and get back in his chair. “How did you know?” Greg challenged her, only to see her shrug. “He seems like the only one to screw up something like this because he was trying to charm the pants off some nurse.” she spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You are absolutely correct! Oh, and, stop messing with your hair, you’re leaving strands everywhere.” he grabbed her wrists, and just for a split second, his beautiful icy blue eyes peered into her fawn-like green ones. “Well...Every fire has cinders and ambers, doesn’t it. Now that you basically dragged me out of the surgery room, you have to keep me around for the case. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me purrrowling around, would you?” she joked around, just as Chase got up, staring at the angios he screwed up in complete disbelief. “Yeah. Sure. You do that. At least I’ll have someone competent around.” he nodded his head, a bit awkwardly. “That’s impossible! It can’t be - “ Chase tried to defend himself, despite having no excuse. “Or maybe it was Jenny. How come some resident signed this radiology report? Were you even in the room?” House reprimanded the blond doctor. “I’ll redo her angio- “ Chase tried to defend himself, but was quickly shut down by his superior. “You’ll do nothing!” an angry House was a scary House, which made the room atmosphere tense as hell. “Eric, go do the angiogram, please.” Kat muttered, simplifying the problem. “...I can’t believe I did that.” Chase turned around to look at his fuck up, making the red haired girl sigh. “That’s what happens when you think with the wrong head at the wrong time.” with that, she flapped her hand to dismiss both of them, dragging House to sit down, worrying about his leg. “I am surrounded by idiots.” he dragged a hand down his face in anger. “Yeah, I know what you mean...But they are not stupid, in the long run. Just...Distracted sometimes...At the wrong times, sure, but...They have redeeming qualities too.” she tried to defend them a bit, while also calm him down, knowing very well that nobody can think straight while angry. “Yeah, I know. But neither you, nor I, have ever been distracted by trivial things like this. Speaks volumes about someone’s priorities.” he retorted just as tauntingly as before. “Well...He’s still young...And he knows he’s attractive for most people...I don’t know. I can’t really defend him for this one.” she looked down, sighing. “Then don’t. It’s not your job to defend everyone or try to make me feel better. Look at you. You’re young, beautiful and smart, but not once did I see you being distracted by some boy. Chase has no excuse.” he cut her off, making her smile in understanding, nodding blankly. “Yeah...But you’re the only one who sees me that way. You...And James and Lisa...You’re the only ones that I trust to tell me the truth and be genuine with me...And you’re the only ones who talk to me or hang around me without wanting something out of me. Sometimes things are more complicated than you see at the surface.” her voice became softer, almost melancholic, something that was completely out of character for her, or at least, that’s what he thought.

House was about to open his mouth and interrogate her, in his own weird way, only for his office room to get opened and have Vogler and Cuddy walk right through. With an ever so quiet curse from the girl, she bit her lip and raised her head, trying not to look worried or intimidated.

“What a pleasant coincidence, finding both of you here. I see neither of you conformed to the rules yet. Are you trying to have an anarchy together? Not wearing proper clothing?” Vogler look down at the two of them, which made House blink in confusion at the girl sitting on his desk. “Well, I know I don’t wear a coat ‘cause it’s itchy and tacky...But as far as I’m aware, if my eyes haven’t gone wild from the LSD, Katrina’s wearing a medical scrub.” the man started playing with his cane, only to see the girl shoot him a warning look, mouthing for him to shut up. “Animal scrubs are unprofessional. Nobody in the hospital wears them, and there is no benefit to them.” the businessman refuted with ease. “The benefit is that I make them myself, they are comfy, and people find them nice to look at. My patients feel calmer and more reassured seeing cute things. It makes them see past their health issues, even by a few seconds. And children and teenagers especially love it.” the girl explained herself calmly, before biting her lip and speaking a bit lower. “I’d recommend you wear a cute scrub too, I’m sure they are more comfy than your business suits. Maybe you’ll lighten up and realise we are in a hospital and we work with people, not with documents and money.”  “Haha, you’re pretty funny. Now I see why the two of you are always together. You have a knack for breaking the rules. Or, better said, you completely disregard the rules as if they don’t exist at all for you.” Vogler’s voice seemed to get darker and more threatening. “It’s just a coat and a scrub. House works from his office, and he wears suits, I don’t see how that’s a problem, the same as my scrubs, there’s no rule anywhere saying I am strictly forbidden from wearing cute tops. Do you really feel your authority so undermined by two people in this huge hospital wearing different things, despite not getting in the way of their pristine perfect work? Or perhaps you feel some kind of weird...Inferiority complex that you must hide and keep in check by walking all over everyone as if we are doormats?” Katrina spoke without even looking at anyone, only staring ahead, coincidently, at the messed up angiograms, and for a few seconds, she could almost feel her own legs getting screwed up from the malicious vibe emanating from the businessman. “Katrina...” Lisa brought her out from her trance, sharing a look of worry together, knowing very well they’re screwed either way. “It’s not about what rules are out there or not. It’s about the rules that I make, and making sure you are team players. If you are not, then...I believe we won’t be able to cooperate for much longer. Especially if Dr. Cuddy isn’t able to keep you in control.” Vogler threatened, before turning away and leaving, while Lisa gave her a pitiful look, following behind him. “...Fantastic day, isn’t it?” Katrina put her hands on her face, sighing in frustration. “Do you really make your own scrubs?” Greg asked, making her turn her head to look at him, before nodding. “Yeah. Want one? I can make you a pink one with lots of flowers and smiley faces.” she joked half-heartedly, which made him realise the annoying businessman was affecting her more than him. “Don’t be ridiculous.” he shook his head, getting up, patting her head. “What else do I have left after what just happened.” she stretched, cracking her fingers and spine, as she hopped off the desk, just as her pager started ringing. “Good luck with your patient, Greg. I have to go. If anything happens, page me...But no code red during surgery this time, please.” she gave him a tender smile, leaving the room, making him look after her.

What was it about her today that made her seem off? It has to be only Vogler, right? What else could it be.  The patient, however, has many many symptoms, and no actual disease yet. Fascinating!

As time passed and he got to treat his patient, and even lied to the transplant committee so Carly would get a new heart, and nobody, except for Wilson and Black, who were there, knew about that felony he committed.

On the other hand, during this time, Katrina has been working day and night with barely any rest, other than the tons of coffee she had to down to keep herself awake. There was something very uplifting about overworking, and no, not only your heart rate.

“Hey, Kat.” Wilson raised his hand up to salute his friend, which made her stop in front of him, albeit a bit spazzic like a meerkat, but nothing too out of the ordinary. “Hey, James, how are you?” she smiled at him, walking slowly together to whatever place he was heading to. “Pretty good. Wanted to grab lunch, how about you?” he asked politely, putting his hands in his coat pockets. “It’s lunch already? How time flies...I forgot to eat again. Too bad.” she chuckled sheepishly, grinning at him. “Anyway, have a great meal, I have a surgery to prep for.”  “You should still eat something, you can’t live on coffee alone.” James muttered with concern. “Thank you for your concern, James, I appreciate it. I have to hurry now, eat for me too.” she chuckled, stopping in her tracks, waving him goodbye. “Wait, hold up, I wanted to ask you something.” he stepped closer to her, bending a bit so he could speak without anyone lese hearing. “Do you know what House lied about? At the committee? I know he lied, but I don’t know what about.” he asked, making the girl sigh and shake her head. “No, sorry, I don’t know. If you want, I can ask him when I’m done with the surgery.” she suggested, seemingly interested herself. “If he tells you, that would be great. He seemed to stop himself from telling me because I am a member of both the board and the transplant committee...Which you are as well. Good luck.” he points out, both curious and frustrated with his friend. “Well that’s interesting...Okay, you’ve got me hooked, I’ll see what I can do and I’ll tell you as soon as I find out. Laters.” Kat winked at him, rushing to do the surgery.

However, she didn’t have to do much work, for when she was almost done with the surgery, House himself made his way into the room, examining her working, before speaking.

“How would you fancy dinner tonight?” he asked, which made her look at him, raising her eyebrow in confusion. “Did you talk to James by chance?” she questioned right back, doing the finishing touches. “Yeah, how’d you know?” he asked jokingly. “Oh, you know...Just the usual thing of me forgetting to take care of myself. So, where do we go?” she asked, finishing the sewing and turning around to exit the room. “My home. We get take out, fall asleep since it’s already past midnight...I came with the motorcycle, I even brought your cat helmet, come on, I’m hungry, don’t question so much.” he put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her to the parking spot. “No room to complain much, is there? Is it really past midnight? I feel like I just talked with James a little ago...” she muttered, taking the helmet and putting it on. “Time flies fast when you’re having fun, they say.” House pointed out, starting the engine.

For the rest of the night - Or early morning rather - They finished eating and were relaxing by the piano, playing “My Way” by Frank Sinatra and other fun, classical, beautiful songs, humming the lyrics and reveling in the fact that there were no cases for a while, and no worries, at least for what Vogler is worth.

“Say, mind if I ask you something?” Kat asked, turning her head to look at him. “Yes, a hooker came by just yesterday, how did you know?” he gasped dramatically, looking right back at her. “Oh, just a lucky guess. However, my question was going to point more towards the patient you just had, who needed a heart transplant. I and James were curious about your little white lie.” she chuckled at his jokes, which made him blink at her and frown. “Sorry, doctor-patient confidentiality makes me unable to say anything. As well as ethics. Those are very important rules that everyone must follow for a better place to live in, don’t you think?” she never really understood why, but those back and forth playful banters always made her laugh. “Oh yes, of course...Ethics...How could I possible forget about Ethics? Perhaps you have a dictionary so I can look it up once in a while. And now, for the real reason...I can assume it was something psychological? Some mental illness that nobody was supposed to know about?” she smirked right back at him, only for him to look at her for a brief few seconds and nod abruptly. “Bulimia and self-harm.” Greg answered, which made the girl smile sadly. “Figured it would be something like this...Many women like her have self-issues and they get desperate and lonely to the point where they find the only relief from stress and self-hatred in overworking and terrible coping mechanisms. Buuuut she proved to you she wanted to live, and you fought for her and saved her. That’s amazing. You...You are amazing, you know that, don’t you?” she praised him, a soft smile on her face of something that may or may not resemble admiration. “Where are you getting at with that? It’s almost like you’re praising her...For something.” his voice lowered a bit, almost as if he was interrogating her. “Praise is a big word...Although she is a great woman, without a doubt. I was actually praising you, above all else...And...I was just wondering...Would you...Would you do the same for me? Should I have been in the same position as she was.” she asked, as a matter of fact, which made the other doctor raise his eyebrow at her. “Why would you be asking something like that?” it was clear that by now, the atmosphere got a little bit tense, until she started randomly playing “Carol of the Bells”, such a beautiful, uplifting Christmas song, yet House could almost smell the nostalgic undertones it had. “You are being very weird, Katrina.” “Oh, come on, lighten up, it was only to satisfy my scientific curiosities. Christmas is coming, I haven’t slept in two days, I’ve been drinking so much coffee that I think I’ve transcended into another universe altogether...And everyone is weird in their own way, you can’t tell me otherwise. Now come on, answer me, don’t be such a killjoy.” she grinned, nudging him playfully with her shoulder as she got closer to him, trying to get him to stop thinking it was some greater problem. “...No.” he answered solemnly, which made the girl blink and tilt her head to the side like a confused puppy. “No...You won’t do the same for me, or No...You won’t answer?” Kat asked softly, hoping to get a straight answer out of him, but that’s never the case with House. “Figure that out when you go to sleep tonight. Good night, Kat.” Greg said, getting up from the piano and making his way to his dormitory, leaving the girl alone.

Sighing, she continued to play “Summertime” from Gershwin to calm herself down, before getting up herself and walking all the way to her home, albeit not a long walk, yet still relaxing thanks to the cold outside that relaxed her.

The next day, Katrina walked in around the clinic with her big Triple Espresso Caramel Latte cup, going around to do her clinic duty, only to get paged by House once again, most likely to help with another diagnostic, or point out some obvious idiocy one of his subordinates has done.

On the way there, she spotted the big bad wolf, so she hid behind numerous people and quickly ran up the emergency stairs to escape her fate, until she got to the diagnostician’s office, catching her breath.

“Why did you run? There was no code red this time.” he asked, wagging his cane around. “Yeah, well, code V from Vendetta spotted me, so I had to pretend I didn’t see him. The emergency stairs are a blessing, sometimes.” she chuckled, leaning, on the glass wall, taking big sips from her coffee. “Have you thought about what I said last night?” he asked, and by then, the eyes of the onlookers seemed to go back and forth between those two. “I would have...But as you can see, I didn’t exactly sleep last night. Again.” she gave him a sarcastic, exaggerated grin. “Yeah, I can see that. You look dreadful. Do you make it your personal mission to go in the Record book for the idiot who refused to sleep the longest?” he limped in front of her, making her sigh and roll her eyes. “It wasn’t for lack of trying, okay? I go to bed, it takes hours to fall asleep, and when I do, I have nightmares and sleep paralysis, I wake up startled and restless, and there is that, I can’t fall asleep back again because of overwhelming anxiety. Are you happy with my answer?” she looked up at him with an almost annoyed look in her exhausted eyes. “...Nope.” House dragged his answer a bit, as if he was thinking over some rationalisation of her behaviour. “Are you taking pills?” he asked again, popping a Vicodin pill. “Uh...Should I?” she muttered, blinking questioningly at him. “Maybe. If you don’t already. I’m not entirely sure if you are or not, unless you tell me.” he pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Or maybe I need a long vacation in the Maldives. Or to go back home in Europe. Who knows, maybe sleeping in the Sun, on a beach chair, hearing the ocean waves would prove to be a great way to fall asleep and actually...You know...Sleep!” she shrugged and turned around to leave, but he hooked the semi-circle part of his cane around her neck, bringing her back, making her yelp in shock. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting off recently.” he limped in front of her, blocking the exit. “Ah, yes, of course. An anomaly in an otherwise boring human who is bound by routines. How could I forget how much you love solving these anomalies? But, you see, I’m not your patient, so I have to ask you to refrain from trying to diagnose me, and return to whatever your guy has.” she tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge, which only made her sigh in aggravation. “I think...You are hiding something.” House pushed her with his cane just enough to look at her better.  “Yeah, you’ve got me. Something completely unexpected...Like...Vogler giving me a hard time and threatening to fire me, despite being the head of the Cardiology department...And Christmas is approaching and I’m as lonely as always...Oh, and, how could I forget, my family wants to visit. My family. Who hasn’t contacted me in like 15 years. Suddenly wants to visit me. I’m SURE they want to have a very nice, lovely chat with me. Now that you know how miserable my days have been lately, can I go back to being miserable in my own department, where I can actually do something productive with my time?” it wasn’t often when she got so worked up, but it was clear she was stressed out and needed some way to vent or relax. “Don’t you want to know the answer to your question?” he looked down for a few seconds, before looking in her eyes, noticing how her eyes were puffy and droopy, and her bottom lip was quivering lightly. “...I don’t know.” she muttered, moving past him and going back to the clinic to do her job as she’s supposed to.

Of course, Vogle continued to be a problem for everyone, Christmas passed and she was just as lonely as every other year, so she drunk herself to sleep while listening to old school songs from her native country, because no matter how silly they were, they still made her feel happy and nostalgic.

Things continued to go array for everyone in the hospital, so bad and so hard that the evil businessman called for a board meeting to fire House, which caused a shit ton of problems for everyone, especially Kat, Wilson and Cuddy...But the only ones who refused were the first two, which escalated to another meeting right then to fire them...On her own birthday, barely a week and a half after Christmas.

“Doctor Wilson, Doctor Black. I was hoping you were gonna miss this one.” Vogler said as soon as the two entered the office room and sat on their chairs next to each other. “A man is the sum of his actions. Here are a few of Dr. House’s. He violated a D.N.R. and was charged with assault. He brought a termite into the O.R. and spat on a surgeon. He accepted a Corvette from a patient who was a known member of the New Jersey Mafia.” the businessman began, only to get stopped by one of the surgeons. “Ed, look-” he tried to reason, but was harshly cut off. “Edward.” Vogler looked sharply at him. “Edward. You look at anyone’s career, you can find things that are-” the surgeon began to speak again, only to get quickly shut down. “These are the last 3 months! He’s personally had more complaints filed against him than any department in this hospital.” Vogler continued, and James tried to reason this time. “Okay. He’s screwed-up. He’s miserable. And he should probably re-read the ethics code, but it works for him. He’s saved hundreds of lives.” Wilson explained, but it was clear Vogler was on a war path. “He is a drug addict who flaunts his addiction and refuses to get treatment! He is a disgrace and an embarrassment to this hospital.” this statement made the red haired girl groan in annoyance and let herself fall back on the chair. “No, he’s not a drug addict, that’s what YOU want to see. How would you feel if your leg was in excruciating pain because of a surgery choice you had NO choice over, and yet, you still had to work, save lives, and think properly? House MAY look like he’s some kind of insane jerk, but he is known all over America for being THE best diagnostician and was able to save people that otherwise, in the hand of ordinary doctors, would have died. Oh, and, those complaints have always been revoked or solved once the patient...You know...LIVED! You just want him fired ‘cause he’s not being your obedient lap dog. If you are so brave to speak ill of a person when he’s not around, why don’t you also have the guts to speak the truth?” she leaned forward to glare at her enemy, as Wilson put his hand over hers, trying to calm her down. “Says the one who’s always by his side, helping him indulge in his nefarious medical fantasies. Let’s keep this simple. Either he goes, or I go.” Vogler spoke, making Katrina rest her chin on her hand, watching him closely. “You shouldn’t personalise this.” Lisa tried to reason, but this guy was over the limits. “And by I, I mean my hundred million dollars. How’s that for personalising?” he started at poor Lisa, who was in a huge dilemma. “Who knew adults could be so petty? You give us money for a reason, and then you threaten to take it away because one doctor, the only one who cares about his patients more than anything, does his job as he is supposed to. Very mature.” Kat sneered at him, rolling her eyes at him. “Gregory House is a symbol of everything wrong with the health care industry. Waste. Insubordination. Doctors preening like they’re kind, and the hospital is their own private fiefdom. Health care is a business, I’m gonna run it like one. I hereby move to revoke the tenure of Dr. Gregory House and terminate his employment at this hospital, effective immediately.” Vogler declared, which made the red head jump up from her seat and slam her hand on the desk. “Since when can you decide for everyone? Are you some sort of God or what? You are WRONG Ed. First of all, Gregory House is the ONLY doctor in this hospital who is capable of being perfectly objective and save ALL his patients, even from the weirdest, most unexpected diseases! Secondly, yeah, we ARE Gods, in a way! We actively get ourselves in the line to save hundreds of lives, we...We HOLD their fates in OUR hands! He is not the problem, and Health Care is NOT supposed to be a business! This is not a business corporate, this is a HOSPITAL! A place where we, DOCTORS, save lives! You wouldn’t get it, you’re not a doctor! You didn’t have to see people in agony, begging to be killed, nor did you have people crying in happiness for being saved! You know absolutely NOTHING of medicine! You have NO right to fire Gregory House, just like you have NO right to tell us, who spent over 10 years of our youth studying constantly, and more than 10 years having this healthcare as our everyday life style, that we should do this for money, and not for the people!” the room went silent from the shock of her outburst, since nobody, in 15 years, saw her so agitated, and yet, she was right...Against the wrong man. “Fascinating and touching speech, I must say. Now I know what I have to deal with. Now then, let’s resume to our votes. All in favour of firing Dr. Gregory House?” Vogler asked, cheekily raising his own hand, which was slowly followed by everyone, except for Katrina and James, who looked at each other with worry, letting their arms fall back from the table and holding hands for comfort. “Dr. Wilson? Dr. Black?” Vogler tried to nudge to give in, but it was for naught. “Opposed.” both of them answered in unison, knowing that either way, they’re screwed. “The...Motion is defeated.” the business man sighed, letting silence hang in for a few seconds, before speaking again, in a chirper voice. “Dr. Wilson, Dr. Black, would you mind leaving the room, please?” “Excuse me?” James asked, frowning in confusion at his words. “We’re going to take another vote.” Vogler explained, as if it was nothing. “We are board members. We have to be here when you vote. You can’t void our votes by making us stand in the hallway. And, as far as I’m aware, you need notice and at least one business day before you can reconsider any matter.” James continued, knowing very well that he can’t prolong the agony. “We’re voting on a different matter, which you are conflicted out of.” Vogler stood up, looking solemn over everyone. “How can we be conflicted out of? What is that even supposed to mean?” Katrina asked, looking at Lisa, who seemed to have an apologetic look on her face. “This vote is whether to dismiss Dr. James Wilson and Katrina Black.” everyone looked down hearing that...Katrina and James were a completely different matter, compared to House... “Oh, great, yes, fire everyone who is speaking the truth and doesn’t go by your stupid business idea. Newsflash, not everybody is a greedy fuckass like you are. Some of us are here because that’s why we wasted our life for! Saving! LIVES! If you guys, after so many years of working together, think that I and Wilson should leave, then fine, sure, vote yes. But if you’re doing it because of this guy...Then congratulations, welcome to communism. Trust me, I’d know, I’m Romanian.” looking with disgust at that guy, she grabbed her friend and left the office without another word, and when they got far enough, she slammed her back on a wall, pulling at her hair. “At least I know why House likes you. You were right. You have always been an admirable doctor. I hope one day he will appreciate you as he should. Its not like he has many people who actually tolerate him...” James put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her out of having an anxiety attack, until Vogler came by, looking as menacing and narcissistic as usual.

He threatened both of them, saying they have the option of leaving the hospital, otherwise he will destroy them...Which means that there was at least one person who voted to keep them there.

There was no point in trying to comfort each other, so instead, they went to their own offices, packing up everything they owned.  However, instead of packing, Katrina stood criss-crossed on her desk, looking at her prized possessions on the shelves, including her awards, diplomas, random little plants and flowers, cute decorations...And a fox that had a heart in its mouth, that she received as a gift from House, Wilson and Cuddy when she became the head of the Cardiology department.

She didn’t even realise how tears were falling down her face, she almost felt numb to it all, but in reality, her heart hurt like hell and she couldn’t imagine how life would continue to go on from now on.

The sound of the door softly opening was blocked away by her personal phone ringing, and with a lethargic move, she raised her phone, without looking at the caller ID, and answered.

“What do you want?” Kat sighed on the phone, not having the strength to fake cheerfulness as she usually did. “Oh, sweety, hi, how are you?” ...it was her mother...What a coincidence. “Why are you calling? You haven’t contacted me since I left the country. I’m not sure you realised the passing of time, but it’s been over 15 years.” the girl sneered over the phone, clutching her grip on it. “Don’t be like that, darling, I just wanted to see how my eldest daughter is doing! You see, we want to visit you tomorrow, and -” her mother began, but was quickly cut off by her daughter. “You’re in America?! Why in the world are you here?! You NEVER left the country!” her alarmed reaction was rightfully explained, as her mother only laughed fakely. “Well, you see, your sister is very sick and she needs organ transplants and...You are a perfect match! Your sister really, really needs your kidney, liver and heart, and -” of course the only reason she’d call is because she needed her... “You...Called...So that I would kill myself...And give my organs to your precious daughter...Because I don’t deserve to live, but she does...Sorry, you might not have been informed, I’m a stone cold bitch without a heart, and I’ve always been. If you want organs, beg to a transplant committee, otherwise, I’m not giving my life to some stupid bitch who thinks she’s better than me. Oh, and, by the way, in case you’ve forgotten, you already disowned me long ago, so there’s no reason for you to call anymore. And don’t call me to the funeral, I won’t come. Bye.” Kat aggressively slammed the phone lid close, before throwing it on the ground, putting her head on her hands and finally breaking down to cry...

But there were no tears.

There was only exhaustion.

“Hey.” the low voice of Doctor Gregory House echoed through the room which made the girl squeak in surprise and turn back to look at him with wide, frightened eyes. “Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people?!” she accused him, clutching her blouse where her heart is supposed to be. “I knocked. You didn’t answer, I let myself in. I...See you’re not having the best day.” Greg pointed out, which only made the girl roll her eyes and turn back to look at her shelf. “Yeah, no kidding.” she snorted, her hands grasping her ankles as she looked down. “Why did you come here? Did Wilson tell you what happened and you came to throw some pity words and say how you saved the patient? If yes, then go ahead, I’m listening...As always.” she waved her hand around, urging him to talk and stop being so awkward, but the silence seemed to cut them with a laser. “...Thank you.” the words she never heard uttered from his mouth before shocked her so much that she turned around to look at him, holding the eye contact that she was barely able to hold with anyone. “You...You? Gregory House? Are...Thanking...Me? For what? You never thanked me for anything I did to you, so why the change of heart? Did Wilson’s golden tongue melt your heart and mellowed you?” she taunted him to get him talking, but his expression didn’t seem as harsh or condescending as it usually did, instead, he seemed to be...Almost apologetic? As if he realised that his actions of being himself hurt the people he cares about. “Do you hate me?” Greg asked, which made the girl frown and blink in confusion. “You...Think that I gave up the best thing I’ve ever had, which is my job here, because...I hated you? I loved this place because you were here...And James and Lisa...But now that it’s all over...What are the odds of someone hiring all three of us at once, and...Lisa miraculously becoming the head of another hospital and...Yeah, I’ve got nothing, it’s all ruined. Guess I can finally get a vacation. Anything else you want to say before I fuck off completely out of your life, just as you wanted to?” it was clear that she was exhausted and just wanted to go home and be herself with no more veil of lies covering her. “You...You are too good for jerks like me, Katrina. You should hate me. I repeatedly ruined your happiness time and time again.” House muttered, looking down at the floor. “Right...I’m sorry for caring about you, I guess...If that’s what you want me to say. Stupid Katrina, huh? Always caring about others and forget about herself. Always so miserable and helpless, but nobody seems to notice. Stupid, lonely Katrina, who has no friends and no relatives to care for her...Who only want her alive to donate all her organs to her sick sister and she can just die for all anyone cares. Now, thanks for telling me that I should hate the only person I actually gave a damn about and trusted whole-heartedly. You made your point, as usual, you want me out of your life, I will do just that. Have a not-so-miserable life from now on...At least you.” she wiped her face from the tears, waving her hand for him to leave her alone already, as she looked at shelves again and hugged the fox tightly to her chest, burying her face in it. “The answer is yes.” was the only thing House said as he left her office, his head hung, and for the first time in ages, he felt his own heart aching at the sight of the girl crying.

While he did as he usually does, spending all his time saving his patient, she drank herself to sleep, day and night, listening to sad songs, singing them at the top of her lungs, hoping it would be therapeutical, but at some point, she forgot what it meant to be properly rational, and she touched the forbidden stash she was never supposed to use.

And in the end, at whatever god forsaken hour of the early morning, she called someone, and dearly hoped they would answer. She had no idea why she called this person...Maybe because he was the first person in the calling list, or maybe there was some other underlying reason that she didn’t want to accept.

Apparently, being drunk out of your wits out on the terrace of her penthouse, while singing at the top of her lungs some silly or depressing Romanian songs, as outside was freezing cold and snowing heavily...But she didn’t feel the cold, despite how light she was dressed...It wasn’t enough make her feel something again.

“Katrina? Do you know what time it is?” a gruff, sleepy voice asked on the other end of the line. “N-No, not really. I wasn’t even sure who I called. Sorry.”  she sighed, as she started to cry. “Are...You crying?” a rustle from the other side resembled House getting up rapidly from the bed. “I-I think so, y-yeah. I...I didn’t realise I was crying. I-I don’t even know why I called you.” she gasped, taking another shot of vodka mixed with chocolate bailey’s. “Are you drunk?!” House spoke in a higher voice, obviously shocked, putting on his coat. “You don’t even drink!...I’m coming over.” “N-No, y-you can’t! You can’t see me like this! And...And I have to know something very important from you! It’s VERY important! Life or death important!” she raised her voice into the phone, unkown to him, as she was fidgeting back and forth on the couch, which made House stop in his tracks just as he touched the door knob. “What is it?” he asked in a way so she would try to calm down. “D-Do you...Do you hate me?!” the desperation in her voice was something so foreign for him to experience, but something so usual for her. “What?! What’s that question, why in the world would I hate you?! Katrina, what did you do?!” he slammed the door shut, rushing towards his motorbike. “I NEED to know that! Just answer this simple question! Please, Greg, just answer!” her voice became more strained and desperate. “...Of course I don’t hate you. I couldn’t. Not you.” he sighed, getting up on his motorbike. “No matter what I did?” she started sobbing by now, which really worried the man. “Yes, of course, now hang in there, I’m gonna be there in a few minutes.” Greg put his phone on speaker, in his jacket, so he could still talk to her, as thankfully, their homes were pretty close to each other. “Greg...I-I’m...I’m afraid...I...I did something bad...Something very bad...” she turned around on the couch she was lying on, watching the sky as she shivered, snow falling on her, as she took another shot. “Katrina, I’m waiting at the elevator. What did you do?” House kept tapping his foot until that dreadfully slow elevator pinged, showing it got to the bottom floor, then got in, waiting to reach the pent house. “I...Took pills...” she muttered, clutching the box of pills. “How many?” he asked urgently. “I-I don’t know! I’m drunk, I’m hurting, I’m desperate, I’m lonely and I had a bottle of pills...One, two, three, four, five...And then it’s all blurry...But the bottle seems pretty empty...And I’m scared of an OD...” she explained over the phone, and then, she heard the front door slam close, and next thing she saw was a tall figure rushing in front of her, then he crashed on the couch on the terrace, and he pulled her to his chest, putting his jacket around her shoulders, his hands on her face, trying to warm her up. “You...Absolute...Idiot!” Greg scolded her, which only made her chuckle weakly. “I really am, aren’t I?” she said as more tears fell down her face. “You really don’t hate me, do you? Now that you know?” she clutched tightly to his Tshirt, as he could only sigh and hold her tightly. “No. I don’t hate you. I can’t...Now show me the pill bottle.” he told her, and suddenly, he felt her fall limp in his arms, just as she pointed to the empty, knocked down bottle of anti-drepressants. “What did you do...” Greg muttered in horror as he dragged her to the bathroom, getting her in the bathtub, completely dismissing his aching leg, as he used the shower tap to get warm water on her, while he made her vomit all the pills she downed, hoping she wouldn’t need to go to the hospital, and obviously, that nothing would happen to her.

For the whole night and morning, he didn’t move from there, only holding the girl, checking on her at regular intervals of time, making sure her vitals were still normal... Until she heard a string of incoherent mutters, begging him not to leave her alone and that she doesn’t want to to be away from him.

Oh, Kat, if only you knew what kind of effect you had on him...What kind of pain you were making him feel...The grief of being betrayed by Stacy, the one he thought was the love of his life, and then the painful leg...And now you, someone he cares so much for...

She deserves so much more...She is so much better than he is, House thought, and yet, the selfish part of him, the one that was quickly beginning to gain terrain against his sensible one, desperately wanted to cling onto her and have her be his lover together.

Funny how the ones who look to be the healthiest and happiest are in reality the best actors and nobody knows if there’s ever anything wrong with them.   Which only made her kindness and feelings towards him more genuine, he thought. She’s in constant pain, just like him, it was no wonder she could sympathise so well with, unlike everybody else...Or maybe she was just empathetic enough? More like Pathetic, she’d say, no doubt.

Time passed at an irrelevant pace, until she finally began to stir in her unconscious state, and finally, she fluttered her eyes open, making Gregory sigh in relief, and as soon as they made eye contact, her cheeks began to turn a hue pinker.

“Greg...? Why are you...? What happened...?” Kat muttered, clutching her head in pain. “You don’t remember anything from last night?” he asked, frowning in confusion. “...Sorry. I know I was pretty sad...And I was listening to music from my childhood at home...And I started drinking...And I remember the bottle of pills taunting me...And from then on, it’s all blank. Did I...Did I call you...?” she clinged on his shirt to get into a sitting position. “Yeah, something like that. Can you stand? You need to change into dry clothes before you catch the Rhino thing.” he joked, making the girl smile softly. “Oh no, not the Rhino thing!” she chuckled, and with a bit of help, she got up, and was able to change into proper, warm clothes. “I’m starving, wanna go eat something? I have some coupons for the Chinese restaurant just down the street.” she hooked her arm to his, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Sounds like a plan, let’s go. But before that, you must promise me never to do something like that again.” House looked at her with seriousness in his eyes. “Okay. I promise. I...I don’t know why I caved in like that. I always promised myself I’d never go that far...I fucked up once, but in a different way...And...I guess in my drunk state I didn’t realise that no matter how many pills I take, the pain won’t go away...Drunk people are really stupid, aren’t they” she chuckled awkwardly, lowering her head in guilt and shame as she used her chopsticks to get some noodles. “...People in pain do stupid things sometimes.” Greg muttered, letting silence take over them for a few minutes, before speaking again. “Happy late birthday, Katrina.” his words made her look at him with eye, confused eyes, before taking out her phone at looking at the date, realising she spent her whole birthday drinking. “I...Completely forgot...Guess now we’re even, huh?” Kat smirked, pointing her chopsticks at him in amusement.

Not much time later, House called Kat over to his office at evening, and everyone dear to her was there, celebrating that Lisa managed to get rid of Vogler once and for all...Of course, of the 100 million $ too, but that’s besides the point. They were back in business, the shock family, ready to save more lives again!

Everything went back to normal - Or well, the normality that was entrapped in their weirdness - But it was THEIR normality. A chaos of going back and forth, arguing, almost killing patients, and then, saving them miraculously.

However, nobody is safe from illness, and one day, during some diagnosis discussion, Kat was pacing back and forth, thinking and saying her ideas for the others to refute or agree to, only for her to abruptly stop in her tracks, her back facing everyone as she coughed.

“Haemoptysis.” she muttered, only for House to grimace. “Haemo-what now? Last time I checked, our patient didn’t cough nor spit blood.” but instead of answering, she coughed up a bit more, her hands covering her face. “Vertigo...” she spoke again, in a much fainter voice. “What the hell are you babbling about?” he hit his cane on the ground, only to see her taking a few steps forwards, albeit, a little wobbly. “I’m...Gonna...” and just as she uttered those words, her legs gave out, and she fell, the only reason for not hitting the ground being Greg’s Godly reflexes which ensured he caught her. “Damn it, not again...What are you three sitting around for? Get a crash cart and a nurse!” House scolded his interns, who rushed to do just that. “What did you do this time, Kat...” he shook his head in disdain as he brushed her gorgeous crimson hair out of her face.

She looked so peaceful now, unconscious, were it not for the blood on her chin and hands, but now, unlike last time, she didn’t look like some kind of undead who was ready to give up her life at any given moment out of sheer misery and self-hatred.

As soon as she was taken away from his arms, he refused to go look over her...He didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid that, since he cared so much about her, he would become unreasonably subjective and he may completely screw up her diagnosis. Greg hoped with all his heart that it was nothing life-threatening, but blood in her lungs was no easy, nor simple thing.

Wilson visited her and held her hand, Cuddy visited her and kissed her forehead, even his subordinates went to check up on her because they wanted to...Even her cardiology colleagues went to see how she was doing...

But not him. Never him. Because if he did, he was screwed for life.

No matter how much he wanted to deny himself, however, he couldn’t help but find himself in her room, in the middle of the night, sitting on a chair besides her, holding her hand in both of his, kissing it and thinking of her diagnosis.

That is, until her hand suddenly started to shake, startling the doctor besides her, as she opened her eyes, panting for air.

“Hey, you okay?” House asked, squeezing her hand gingerly. “Urgh, yeah...Just had a nightmare...Followed by sleep paralysis. Again. Nothing new, here. Uhmm...It may sound as a bit of a deja-vu,  but what in the world happened?” she sighed, getting into a sitting position, looking at him. “You tell me. You coughed blood, got dizzy and fainted. Did you take anything? Felt bad or something?” he asked, making the girl scratch the back of her head awkwardly. “Nothing that I haven’t felt before, really. I have anxiety, I frequently experience restlessness, problems with breathing, arrhythmia, sometimes dizziness and stuff. It’s inconvenient, but you get used to it, so I didn’t took any pills, especially not after that scare a few days ago. Do you...Think it’s because of...My fuck up?” she looked worriedly at him, but he only looked down, thinking. “Not so fun being on the other end, huh?” House smirked before shaking his head. “I have no idea. We need to do some tests on you before we can confirm anything. But you’ll be fine, that much I can guarantee.” he promised, which made her smile sadly, leaning back on the pillow, squeezing his hand back. “Can you stay with me a bit longer? I, uhm...You know...Problems sleeping...When I’m with someone...I tend to sleep better...And a close to a full night. I-I don’t know why, but it’s always been like this.” she brought up the hem of the blanket to cover her face. “Then get a boyfriend and sleep with him. You’re young, smart and beautiful, there’s nothing stopping you from that.” Greg muttered in a low voice, almost self-deprecating. “Yeah, that’s easy. If men actually went out of their way to talk to me...And that hasn’t happened in 15 years, so, as you say, Mazel Tov. That, and I’m afraid of people.” she sighed, biting her lip in embarrassment. “Whaaaaaat? No boyfriend in 15 years? No action? I don’t believe you.” he took off the blanket from her face, only to see her blushing face. “You’re the only person that I never lied to. I’m great at lying and deceiving and all that...But yeah, I know, I’m pitiful, don’t have to remind me. Why do you think my life is mostly spent in the hospital. I’m not as lonely as I’d be at home.” she looked away, snatching her blanket back. “You don’t have to stay. It’s much more comfortable sleeping in a bed, especially with that leg of yours.” “Yeah, it would be. Now close your eyes and get some sleep.” and so, he didn’t budge from her side the whole night, and she didn’t wake up from nightmares or restlessness. 

Days went on, and she kept on getting tested, and House was beginning to get more and more angry at the fact that he wasn’t able to properly diagnose her faster, and he was becoming unbearable for everyone around him.

On the other hand, just as Lisa and James were visiting her, trying to keep her company, when the two people she never expected to see again burst into her room with wide grins on their faces...Which in turn, made Kat drop her phone on the ground from the shock.

“What the hell...?” the red haired girl’s bottom lip quivered in anger. “Kitty-Kat, darling, we missed you so much! You haven’t come home in 15 years!” the mum stepped forward, ready to throw her arms around the girl, but she was met with hostility as Kat dragged herself backwards in the bed, away from her, pure disgust glowing on her face. “Don’t you dare touch me! And don’t you even think about calling me that nickname! I don’t care if you’re my parents, you never gave a damn about me, so don’t pretend to do now that THE perfect daughter is terminally sick and needs a quick organ donation that would ultimately KILL the useless, unwanted, worthless daughter!” Kat sneered at them, untangling the respiratory oxygen tubes who got knotted in her sudden gesticulation. “Kat, are you alright...?” James walked next to her bed, trying to calm her down, only to get yelled at. “No, I’m not! Get them out of here before I get a restriction order!” she continued to glare at them. “Come one, Kitten, don’t be like that, we came all the way from Europe to see you, when you didn’t even give us a call! I don’t know why you hate us.” the dad gave an awkward smile, as if he was embarrassed by his problematic child. “You didn’t call once to tell me Happy Christmas, or...Or Happy Birthday...You didn’t congratulate me on finishing University or on...Literally anything. And now, you come to me only to make sure that I actually die so you could take away my organs and make sure your favourite daughter keeps on living...And you’re actually...You really...Have the guts to ask me WHY I hate you? I hate you because you never cared for me, that’s why!” she gripped the hand grasps of the bed, not realising that House also got in the room. “No need to be so selfish, darling, it’s just a few organs that you could live without! We managed to find a heart transplant, we just need a kidney and part of your liver!” the father tried to negotiate, only for her to grit her teeth. “You know what? I hope my sister dies the most painful death there is, and that you go off after her. We may be blood related, but I was never your daughter. And you know what? Just to make sure...You think you can get my organs? Here’s my response to that!” in a fit of rage, she ripped her oxygen tubes, which continued with violent coughing and some blood. “Why the hell do you even want me to treat you when all you do is get yourself in self-harming situations? First, you OD on anti-depressants while drunk, and now you’re cutting off your oxygen supply to prove your point that you have mummy and daddy issues and that you’d rather die than...Die? You’re just a selfish, immature girl with suicidal tendencies whenever things don’t go her way. You think I’m gonna lie to the transplant committee for someone like that? Because the answer is NO!” House limped in front of her, speaking with so much hatred that it made the girl cry and shake, crestfallen at the words she heard. “And you just had to go ahead and tell everyone that I’m fucked in the head. I wonder how much that is gonna up my chances of actually...Making friends and...A boyfriend...Y’know...Literally anyone who’d actually give a fuck about me. So...Yeah, thanks, you’re right, I’d rather die than being humiliated by the only person I ever actually had any genuine feelings for, because I’m sort of a sociopath with relationship traumas. So, if you could do me a favour, before I pass out, pick these two idiots and get yourself out of this place before I call security, okay? Thanks, bye.” and just like that, she started coughing up more blood, and fainted.

Seeing her being a reckless idiot drove House through the roof, and he realised that maybe, his dad wasn’t the only one to need a “Parent Of The Year” award, but even so, the fact that Katrina was so angry that she felt the need to be so overly dramatic to prove a point, and to have Cuddy kick them out of the hospital, sure was meant she was desperate, and for good reason. No wonder she never spoke about her family, or about anything about herself, unless it meant some nostalgic things about her country and other things that could come up as funny when told properly.

But why the hell does she have to make everything so much more complicated to him, especially now that he completely screwed up everything and she hates him.

How the hell did he manage to fuck up like that, just when he finally got ready to tell her how he feels...How he GENUINELY feels, without having to get full-sarcastic-jerk mode, and just telling her that he’s over Stacy completely and he’s ready to commit to her...And he just ends up basically telling her that he hates her, which is a complete lie.

Great job, Gregory House. The only thing you’re capable of doing is diagnosing and saving people, and sometimes, even that fails. Good thing she was okay, and with some anti-coagulant medicine, the clot that was causing her pulmonary embolism completely disappeared, and she was all ready to go.

Ever since that day, House didn’t visit her, her parents completely disappeared, and James and Lisa were completely pitiful, which only made the girl miserable. Thanking whatever deity existent that it was the last night being stuck in the hospital as the unfavoured party, so she went up on the roof, sitting on the little wall edge, looking up at the starts on the sky, putting the saddest song she ever knew to play on her MP3 player, which was “Daca ploaia s-ar opri” from Cargo, and as she softly sang the lyrics, the door opened and the sound of tapping cane was heard, 

“I have no idea what the words are, but he song seems pretty sad. What gives?” House limped towards her, which only made her groan and roll her eyes in annoyance. “Aaaand you had to ruin the most emotional song as well. Great, what is next on your long list of destroying? I have no dignity, no pride anymore...My health you can’t legally screw...And there’s nothing else on the table is there? I have no heart anyway. So why are you here?” she asked, not even bothering to look at him. “Would you believe me if I said I came here to apologise?” House asked, getting closer to her, then turning his head to look up at the stars as well. “After what you pulled in that room...No. I don’t believe you anymore. You’re a jerk. You’ve always been one, but not to me, and not enough to actually hurt me. Now you did. Congratulations. You lost a friend...Not that you’d care, anyway. You’ve proven me that enough. You can go now.” she sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. “Yeah, I know, I fucked up. I got scared when I saw you pull that stunt, I panicked and...That happened. And I’m sorry about that. I admit that much.” he said as he put his coat around her, hoping she wouldn’t die of cold or something. “Fantastic, the asshole knows how to apologise. Congratulations, you are amazing. Now, do you actually expect me to believe you, or what are you trying to accomplish?” Kat asked, giving him a sarcastic smile. “Before you got sick, I was...I was going to ask you out. But then you got sick, and in turn I got worried sick.” Greg began to explain, only to get cut off. “No, you’re lying or pitying me. You don’t like me. I’m not...I’m not Stacy, or...Or Lisa. I don’t challenge you with every turn you take, I’m not a jerk to you, I am...Practically nothing like the women that you have been interested with, so excuse me for not believing a word you say. I was sick, vulnerable and pitiful, you were miserable, you heard that I haven’t dated in 15 years, you thought I was desperate for love, but trust me, after what happened when I was 17...I don’t think I want anything like that again.” she tsked, looking away from him, laying her chin on her knees. “I know I’m a jerk, but does that really sound like something I would do?” his voice sounded almost hurt at the implication. “...No, it doesn’t. But I also don’t believe that you like me and you’re not saying that just because you heard my dying words...Allegedly. You’ve said your speech, now you can go, and we will continue our work as it always was, without having to see each other, so no more paging me when it’s convenient to you either. Goodbye.” she waved her hand to dismiss him, but he didn’t budge. “What will it take for you to believe me? I will give up my parking spot for you. I will play the guitar for you. I...Will convince Wilson to give me his stupid dog so you could visit him more often. I don’t know, you know I’m horrible with these things called emotions. But I want you to know that what I say its genuine...And apart from what I said today, I never lied to you. So, if you ever have it in your heart to believe me and give it a chance...I’ll be waiting. And...I’ll be here to listen to you talk about your pain as well.” he confessed, and as soon as he turned around to leave, she quickly extended her arm to grab his wrist. “You...Really...Mean it?” she muttered, not daring to look at him. “Because if you fuck up, I swear I’m going to do something completely unethical and against the Hippocratic oath. Primum non nocere, they say. First of all, don’t do harm. I’m completely fine with killing you, because, in case you don’t know, I’m a sociopathic, heartless foreigner with no morals or ethics.” she smirked at him in amusement. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of Nocere, if you have the Vicodin for it. Fire-Kissed girls are said to kiss the best. If we test that theory and it’s true...Then I think we both know we’re gonna work pretty well. If you want to.” he looked at her, putting her hands of her face, looking at her tenderly. “I really hate that I was made broken from the making in factory to be completely unable of hating how big of a jerk you are. Why is it so...Endearing, when it comes from you, but completely repulsive when it comes from anyone else? I can’t tell, and it’s annoying, because I can read people to a T. On the other hand...There is another saying...Vixens always get what they want. Maybe I finally scored the big jackpot.” she chuckled, pulling him down in a soft kiss, the feeling of warmth and love lingering on, intoxicating them even after they parted. “Yeah. I was right. You’re like my own fix of Vicodin or Amphetamines, and I’m completely addicted to you.” he flashed her a charming, playful smile, before kissing her with even more fire and passion than before. “Careful, you don’t want to OD, do you? You’ll need a detox or rehab.” she laughed at him, putting her hands over his, kissing the inside of his wrist. “Oh, please, I’d OD on you ever day, as many times as you want, and I’d have no regrets. You know what they say...Tout le monde necessite La Petite Mort.” he retorted just as cheekily, which in turn, made her laugh merrily. “I can’t believe-! You just...You just said that-...! You’re an incredibly, annoyingly good flirter, especially because I told you those pick up lines before...But don’t forget about me.” she shook with laughter, winking at him mischievously. “Wilson’s ex-wives always praise him for being the best. I’ll prove him I’m better than him at everything. Especially this.” he chuckled, sitting next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest, kissing the top of her head. “You better not talk about...That...To Wilson...Or Lisa...Or anyone, for the matter, or I swear, that little death you’re talking about, will be more literal than metaphorical.” she threatened him, poking his sides. “Oh, no, I’m scared of a little fox biting my nose while I’m asleep. Whatever could I do?” he mockingly called for help, which, as usual, made her laugh. “Jerk.” she grinned, hugging him tightly, cuddling closer to his side. “Yeah. I’ve been called that a lot.”