#over the kitchen counter

[raptorladylover6969]

none of my friends be hearing me out on The Handler and they be calling me out for it saying how im 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 for finding her attractive. But like heres the thing, BE GRATEFUL SHES DEEMED AS MY “WORST HEAR ME OUT” CUZ HAVE YOU SEEN OTHER PPLS “WORST HEAR ME OUTS”⁉️⁉️ SOME OF EM SHOULD BE THROWN IN JAILLLL. LET ME LIVE AND BE 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ABOUT THE FREAKY RAPTOR LADY IN PEACE WITHOUT SOME TROGLODYTE WHISPERING IN MY EAR SAYING “but she looks like Willy Wonka!!” OKAY AND?? I FUCK WITH THAT 1000000%. I STILL WANNA MAKE OUT WITH HER 💔💔💔💔🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[shalomniscient]

omega!reader x alpha!rappa except omega reader is absolutely distraught at the fact that of all the alphas in the literal UNIVERSE, the one that catches their eye (and their pussy) is the damn loser who keeps dropping her fucking spray paint cans on her head and talks like she’s stuck in a god damn shonen anime. tldr omega!reader has the moronsexual awakening of a lifetime and HATES it

[starry-bi-sky]

*points at bruce and danny in 'late at night when the nightingale sings'* THESE TWO MFERS MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEEE

no thoughts head empty just these two socially inept fools finding family in one another. like yes you go you funky little death omens stole that one from a comment on the fic, so if you see this you know who you are, discover that family isn't only tied in blood.

bUT onto less mushy stuff: these two being shenaniganizers; tomfools. Bruce realized that Danny didn't actually know he was Bruce Wayne and instead of going "oh actually im bruce wayne" he went; "hrm... how long can i keep this going until he realizes...."

like. i think they deserve to be the sillies. just utter goobers the both of them. like, danny makes the wittiest side comments, dry quips, under his breath towards Bruce while they're out in public (Danny covering his face with a face mask) and Bruce is trying not to laugh. Meanwhile if Bruce makes one sly comment about someone to Danny, Danny's gonna collapse with laughter.

Bruce plays straightman in most of their bits, he has the best fucking poker face. But also I firmly believe he does actually enjoy Danny's puns. Look me in the eyes- look me in the eyes. Try and tell me that a man that willingly agrees to call a car "the batmobile" even after his eight year old ward grows up (thus negating the need to go along with his antics) doesn't enjoy a good, well-placed pun. Look me in the eyes and try to tell me that. That's right you can't.

He's gonna spit out a well-placed pun in the driest, most boring Batman Voice Ever one day while he's getting ready for patrol, and Danny's gonna fucking die of laughter. He's gonna lose his mind. Bruce is going to have a half-dead sickly teenager laughing his lungs out in the chair. That's a new core memory right there, every time Danny thinks about that he's gonna start giggling.

just!!! these two making each other laugh! That's so important to me. So so much. I nEED Danny to get Bruce to smile and laugh and I need Bruce to make Danny do the same. Danny's all snark and sass and Bruce is all deadpan and dry quips. Do you all see my vision.

[canisalbus]

Machete and Vasco are so pomegranate-and-the-hand-that-slices coded. To me.

Pomegranates are seen as messy, bloody, inconvenient fruits. You slice or tear or bite and in return for your effort you come away underwhelmed, disgusted, and stained too deep to wash. The consumption of a pomegranate is a violent act of defilement, for both the fruit and the eater.

But that is because most do not understand how to open a pomegranate. They have little patience for the precise carving. They see no point in coreing the fruit gently, no reason to be reverent as they pull the quarters apart. When done correctly, opening a pomegranate leaves little mess. Your fingers will still stain, your knife will still slick, but there will be no pool of crimson drowning both you and the fruit.

The seeds are only sweet to those who understand the merit of a light hand and intricate slicing. Why put in so much effort for a food so bitter and clearly armored against consumption? Surely it must not yearn to be eaten.

(^insane about silly catholic dogs)

.

[why-the-heck-not]

it’s cold brew season again babyyy

[mykelneedssleep]

The natural end to my W359 relisten is and always will be the reunion episode they did on Emma Sherr-Ziarko (Minkowski)'s podcast Pairing and it is a joy as always but for those who have not listened to it one of the questions that she asks the entire cast and crew is what they think their character's drink of choice would be and I completely forgot that Michelle Agresti's answer for Maxwell was just straight vodka or a martini but with nothing in it other than gin and that conversation devolves into the fact that Maxwell was canonically a horse girl and that shit had me cracking the fuck up

[auspicioustidings]

Soap is one of those guys who brings you home and says 'Alexa, we have visitors' because he painstakingly built a command chain and got all the smart stuff for it to dim the lights, put on the fire, play sultry music and pour two glasses of wine.

[bitchslapblastoids]

Someone on a preshow should ask "Fmk doggy style, missionary, 69"

omg the tonal difference between this ask and the one right before yours is cracking me up. but yeah sure why not. i mean. we have received live confirmation via realistic doll reenactments of them partaking in (and enjoying) all the above. which, good lord, what an insane thing to be able to say and it just be an actual fact.

[elephantbitterhead]

The kitchen is done & I have finally taken some pictures. Images on the left are from our initial house viewing (rows 1 & 2) or from the kichen right before we tore it out. Removing those stunted Ls on the ends of the galley has made the kitchen much better. Somehow we have more cupboard space and more floor space, which probably indicates that the original kitchen was cursed.

Long-suffering mutuals who know that yellow is not my favorite color might wonder about the yellow cabinets. We decided it was the best light-ish color that also looked good with the dark wood counters. Cream was too plain and too light (and inevitably filthy on lower cabinets), green was either too dark or too pasty, grey was dreary, brown also dreary, orange looked mental (as did red), the available blues didn't go with the stove, etc. etc. until I was like 'yes, sure, yellow OK whatever I give up.'

[hyewka]

re..sis..ting the urge to write a brothers best friend beom hard thought..ha..

[pinkmirth]

reiner’s love language is picking up his s/o and carrying them with ease as he strolls around the house. sure, words of affirmation and gift-giving are endearing in their own right, but what’s better than effortlessly hauling your cute self over his shoulder?

[paradoxgavel]

man, i had a rly nice day today! ;v;

[prettyboykatsuki]

i can’t let him leave the house like that. that’s crazy

[inspiredlivingspaces]

IG lisa_loves_vintage

[just-in-cays]

.

[timdrake-yumm]

Dick: Damian just had his vision checked and he has better than 20/20 vision. I think he’s a witch.

Tim: Are you going to burn him at the stake?