#outsiders just happens to be an extremely important one I missed

[starlooove]

I need to read outsiders now

[pipthegreat]

Info Cards‼️

These took a while to make but I fairly like how they turned out. These are all ordered from the oldest to newest member of Digital Fun Park!

Welcome to Digital Fun Park, a canceled VR horror game that was brought back to life.

When the company gave up on an in-progress horror game, it was left to fade away. But a virus inside of it came to life and couldn't stand being lonely anymore, so it brought people to its digital world.

Poster:

How abstraction works:

The Adventures:

The Solar Eclipse:

First designs + lineup:

I'll edit this post when I make "important" things about the au, also please ask me questions because I absolutely love this au!!

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Comics:

* Jax's hatred

* What could happen

* First introduction

* Gangle's comics

* A silly mistake

* The Mask

* Bonding

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Info:

* Tadc / dfp

* Missing parts

* Outside the park

* Bubble

* Rest

* Abstracted

* Gloink Queen

* Fear of the park

* Defense

* Closed eye

* Jax.

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"Can I make fanart?":

Of course you can! I don't mind at all and it makes me extremely happy!

"Is there any ships?":

There are no cannon ships in this au but if you want to ship the characters you can totally go for it! Self shipping is also welcome! As long as it doesn't involve minor x adult though.

"Can I make NSFW?":

You do you, just don't send it to me alright? ^^

[hamsternella]

Something with Muzan?👀 kinda obsessive

Muzan being obsessed with you

cw: yandere, stalking, MDNI

Muzan considers you an interesting person. Beyond your humanity, which repulses him in the extreme, everything else that makes you up as an individual generates a wild intrigue in him. The way you talk, the way you see things; the way you analyze life as a set of typical and atypical events, as well as the flow of the universe and its purely logical variants—never something spiritual. You did not believe in the flows of fate or divine judgments. You were not by any stretch of the imagination a copy of Ubuyashiki; nor of his family, or of his followers and faithful cronies.

You were no different either. No kind of exception to the rule, because people like you would be all over the world. Muzan knew that very well. But it was you who held yourself in front of him, with the face he had grown accustomed to; with the silhouette appearing every morning where he took it upon himself to monitor your routine. Because of course he was going to keep his eye on you. And no, it wasn't because you were exactly important. You didn't add or subtract to his plans; the truth is that outside of your position you were a boring person.

But didn't he consider you an interesting person?

Another truth —and this time a pure, unfeigned truth— was that Muzan was beginning to be deeply affected by your existence on this earth. And yes; it was obviously going to burn into his ego. Inside him a pitched war would break out just imagining how much he missed seeing your silhouette in the morning, training among the trees; or monitoring your missions with weak demons that he himself commandeered to entertain himself during the heaviest hours of the day.

And you had no idea. And that bothered him in a fucking way you couldn't imagine.

Eventually, that initial intrigue turned into an intense desire, which used to manifest itself in fictional scenarios where Muzan was the protagonist. Repulsive and useless scenarios; crude ideas that descended from a silent obsession at the back of his head. It was almost offensive when he stopped to think about how much he was being affected by a human he had never met; and in turn, the same so-called human who had no fucking idea who was following them around like a dog.

A fucking animal.

But you were the animal! You were the one who should be chasing him like a dog. Your eyes wild with fear; your body trembling with anxiety, your heart in your throat at the thought that your encounter with the Father of demons could happen at any moment. Not him—not Muzan. Least of all on a ridiculous whim. No way, all whims were ridiculous.

You were ridiculous.

And suddenly, in the heat of the moment, a decision would be made. And the result? A disaster.

No reaction. Muzan held himself in front of you —well-dressed, because of course he wouldn't wear just any suit to meet you, even if it was hard for him to admit it—, and he was imposing. The crimson gaze glowing in the slight gloom of your estate's garden. But no reaction from you.

"Are you a demon?" you asked in a weak, tired voice. The ghost of sleep pouring over your body. The laughter you let out was barely audible. "Of course you are one."

"Is this the best Ubuyashiki can offer?" replied Muzan with another question; too affected by your disinterest to think of anything else. "And your sword, child?"

"I think I left it in... Uh, I really don't know. But why would you want me to have it? You could kill me right now."

"Aren't you afraid?"

"From death, or from you?"

"Isn't the same thing?"

You picked your shoulders, and for him it was impossible not to frown, annoyed. But what do you mean, annoyed! Furious.

"Death, a demon, or even so be the devil himself," you mumbled through your teeth, holding back a yawn. "Why would I be afraid?"

"Because fear is necessary," Muzan replied, "and especially for such weak creatures as you. You should be afraid of me."

The smile that rested on your face felt like a cut over his heart. Muzan couldn't find enough anger inside him to match the hot emotions expanding through his chest.

"I must not be weak enough, I'm afraid; to have eyes on me even when I go to the bathroom." You put down the cup of tea you were carrying in one hand on the table beside you. "And it feels strange, because even now I still don't believe that you want to kill me. What am I supposed to recognize about you? Moreover, am I allowed to be flattered?"

"Excuse me?" Muzan took a couple of steps forward. An unfamiliar feeling occupying his head when there was no reaction from you. Nothing, there was nothing. "Flattered by what? What are you trying to assume from all this?"

Your eyes remained on his, unblinking; even when the demon raised a hand in your direction. His fingertips suddenly brushing the skin of your forehead. The approach had been immediate—even Muzan himself had no idea why it was necessary.

"Well, I don't know," you mumbled. "It's just that plain and simple you look so pathetic-"

His hand slapped against your mouth, choking your words. Your head jerked momentarily, but your gaze remained fixed on his; the color dulled with what Muzan identified as an attempt to focus on him. On guessing what he was thinking about, what he wanted to do to you.

In fact. What the fuck did he want to do with you?

As soon as your eyes narrowed with the birth of a hidden smile, Muzan pulled away, taking with him the warmth of your lips against his hand. He tried not to make it so obvious the way his fingers trembled remembering the texture of your skin.

"That's all I needed to know," you said.

With a snort as you rose from your seat, you took the cup in your hands again before climbing the steps behind you. Muzan didn't utter a word; lost in your gait and how the moon reflected its light in your hair. He didn't even notice your glance at him as soon as you reached the sliding doors. Half body in, half body out; face obscured, with your voice echoing from the shadows.

"Ubuyashiki offers money, and I get it by doing the only thing I can be useful for. It's not a matter of honor, hence, it's not about the demons." A long pause. A sigh, and seconds later the beginning of another word. "It's not about them; much less would it be about you, Muzan."

He took a step back, suddenly feeling oblivious to the situation. If you had noticed, then you simply ignored him.

"So go back the way you came," you continued. "Do what you always do, and if possible without me in it. Do your job and I'll do mine; and try not to let our next meeting be the result of such a pathetic obsession, concerning your self-centeredness or loneliness, or whatever bullshit you have to deal with as to end up here."

You clicked your tongue. Annoyance in your voice. You closed the door in one motion, hiding your body behind the walls. Out of Muzan's eyes; away from his despair, his hunger. So close and yet so far away.

Humiliation was an understatement. There was no word, no term, capable of encompassing the torment that had gripped Muzan since that encounter.

The revelation that you had been aware of his monitoring left him stunned; but at the same time with a slight feeling akin to admiration. And that was difficult, because he hadn't felt such a thing for anyone in a long time. Of course, admiring someone was necessary, and he did it whenever he had to replace one of the Moons; searching and analyzing candidates meant recognizing qualities that were useful.

But this was not simple admiration. No. Muzan understood it even if it meant being aware of other things concerning your existence, strongly related to everything that had to do with him and your way of being—thinking. You claimed to be useful for only one thing; but that supposed task had not been completed. Not even showing you to be interested in the demon in front of you. And that boiled in Muzan's blood with madness.

You tore off the heads of demons of all kinds. You swung a sword at anything that could give you money, and you were clearly good at what you did. You gave your full attention to what mattered to you; you sensed your surroundings, you took in the details, you were attentive. You recognized what you wanted; sometimes what you should, and this with the same face with which you had looked at Muzan.

You were just like any other member of the corporation, and somehow you stood out with a curious edge. At first because you were interesting; because Muzan considered you valuable enough as a human and as an individual. But what about now? What were you supposed to have, beyond the bright, shrewd eyes? Beyond the smooth skin and the light scent of your flesh.

It didn't take long for Muzan to start taking it out on the moons. Douma was one of the first in a long time to cast an eye on you, citing your agility and beauty; but he took it upon himself to eliminate that slim possibility. Reasons or not, there was one thing undeniable and that was that for Muzan, you were already somehow his property. He saw you first, beheading a lower moon; bathing your hands in the blood of your companions, carrying their bodies. He saw you first in training, seeking to know more about the new threat related to Tanjiro Kamado. He saw you first, intrigued by your strange relationship with Ubuyashiki; slightly attacked by the idea that perhaps your power would suit the demons.

I mean, what were you really doing with the demon slayers? If you had no honor, vocation or anything other than loyalty. Pure loyalty, something Muzan loved. That they were loyal to him; that they worshipped him, that they obeyed him. And who could do it better than you? No one. No one was going to be able to do things better than you did—things Muzan couldn't even accomplish. Everything was so yours. And this burned in his soul, deep down; something burned in his flesh and made his blood run furiously through his veins. To him it seemed repulsive to acknowledge this kind of fact, but it was about you, and then it was a different matter.

You had to be his. It wasn't going to work any other way.

[clockwayswrites]

Like Betta Fish Do Part 28

wc: 3020, masterpost

“I get why you insisted on picking me up,” she said as she watched the black sedan part the sea of reporters outside of Wayne Manor. Her hand made a half aborted motion, like she wanted to fidget with with her hair despite the red being cropped close to her scalp in a pixie cut.

The haircut would be a new thing, or new enough that in stress old habits were still there. Perhaps something she did when moving into her doctorate. A new hair cut to go with a new stage of life. She went for an extreme though, maybe trying to shed a metaphorical weight or maybe a bob would have been too much like her mother’s hair. Maybe both.

Dick gave his head a little shake and tried to stuff the parts of himself that couldn’t help be analyze someone away.

It was worse with the stress of it all.

“I know, right? They’ve been crazy,” Dick said with a laugh.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

Dick blinked. “Do what?”

“Pretend everything is okay. You don’t have to do what with me. After all, we’re both big siblings, aren’t we?” Her own, wry smile didn’t reach her aquamarine eyes.

Dick wanted to protest and for a moment he almost did. Then Dick just sighed and let himself slump into his seat. “That obvious?”

“No, I just know what it’s like,” Jazz said.

“I shouldn’t be putting this on you though, not with what happened to Danny—”

She held up manicured hand. “Don’t. Suffering isn’t a competition. Besides, I got to learn this happened knowing that Danny was already safe and being taken care of. I didn’t have to think he was dead like you all did. I also didn’t have to learn about all the rest of it. It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“Knowing my little brother is still dead?” Dick gave a bitter bark of a laugh. “Yeah, it’s hard.”

“Half dead,” Jazz said with a smile that was all too understanding. “That half part is important to them. They’re half dead. They’re half alive. They aren’t the little brothers we had before and that’s hard. It’s okay for that to be hard.”

Dick rubbed at his face. “It shouldn’t change anything.”

“But it does.”

“It does.”

“That’s alright,” Jazz soothed. “It’s a big fact, of course it’s going to change things. As long as he’s still your little brother and you love him then the rest won’t matter so much, not with some time.”

The car came to a stop in the garage. Dick let himself take a deep breath as the door rolled closed. It was always about needing time, but at least they still had it.

“Well, Miss Nightingale, shall we go inside?”

“Thank you, Mister Grayson,” she said and took his offered hand to get out of the car. “And thank you again for the ride, Alfred. Picking me up from WE was the right move.”

“And you needn’t worry about your car, it will be safe in the parking garage,” Alfred assured her.

She covered an amused snort with her hand. “You saw my car, no one is going to try and steal that old thing.”

Alfred held the door to the house open. “Perhaps slightly more worried about the press hoping to find something.”

“Would they really break into my car?”

“They would,” Tim said from where he was standing inside the door, typing away on a tablet. “Gotham’s lost prince shows up at a gala with his mystery boyfriend and then proceeds to press the kill button for said boyfriend? The press is going insane for it. If it was just Gotham’s press it would be one thing, but it’s broken containment and fast. Have you said anything to any reporters? Even any non statements? Is there anything that the might dig up on you, other than your parents, that we need to know about?”

“Jazz, this is Tim. We’re sorry about him,” Dick said with a strained smile. It only got worse when he took in Tim and the heavy bags under Tim’s eyes. “Tim, when was the last time you slept?”

Tim waved the question away. “I had a power nap after breakfast.”

“What Master Timothy means is that he fell asleep at the table mid-meal,” Alfred chastised as he continue into the manor proper.

“Still counts,” Tim muttered. Finally he looked up from his tablet to blink listlessly at them. “Well?”

“Tim,” Dick chastised.

“No, it’s fine,” Jazz said with a patient smile of someone used to behavior like this. “It really is… everywhere. I haven’t said anything to any press other than ‘no statement’ and I can’t think of anything. Well, I mean, I have a girlfriend but if they have an issue with her they already have Danny and Jason to rage over. How is Danny handling it all?”

“Tim has blocked all social media from the manor. You need a password to get through it and I don’t think they’ve been bored enough to try and crack it yet,” Dick said.

Jazz looked thoughtful. “That’s probably best. I’m alright with you asking more questions, but can I see Danny first, please?”

Tim blinked as if startled by the thought. “Yes, right, of course. They’re probably still in the library, that’s where I saw them last.”

“That was yesterday,” Dick pointed out.

“Oh, well,” Tim tilted his head but didn’t stop talking. “I bet I’m still right.”

Dick just sighed and exchanged a look with Jazz. Little brothers.

-

Jazz crouched down in front of the couch and reached out to run her fingers through Danny’s hair.

“Danny.”

“Nn.”

The corner of her mouth ticked up. “Danny.”

“’ive m’er min, Jazz,” he mumbled sleepily.

“If you don’t get up, I’m calling Cujo.”

“I’m up, I’m up!” Danny explained and jolted awake before he was left just blinking confessedly at the room. When the rest of it snapped together for him he smiled brightly. “Jazz!”

“Danny!”

“Your hair looks even better in person!” Danny said, reaching out to ruffle the short locks.

“I don’t care if you’re on your deathbed Danny, I will bite you.”

Danny sighed dramatically as he sat up properly. “I never get to die on a bed. At least this time I was sitting.”

Jazz leaned forward and wrapped Danny up into a crushing looking hug. “Oh Danny, what am I going to do with you?”

“Still don’t have an answer for you there, Jazz,” Danny said. He was practically curled around Jazz and stayed that way as she shifted to sit with him on the couch.

She looked up at Jason who was still standing awkwardly by the couch where he had greeted her. “You can sit. I don’t bite.”

Jason snorted. “You just threatened to bite Danny. I don’t believe you.”

“Her bites aren’t bad,” Danny said with a yawn. “But her aim is horrible. And don’t let her have a baseball bat. She’s lethal with one of those.”

The almost fanged way that Jazz smile made that easy to believe.

“I approve of you, Nightingale,” Damian said with a decisive nod from the armchair he was occupying.

“What are you going to do now that there are two Nightingales?” Tim asked, far too innocently.

Damian scowled, his whole face scrunched up before he gave a sharp shrug. “I am confident that the Nightingales are intelligent enough to know which one I am referring to.”

Jason shook his head at the easy way the brat seemed to accept Jazz and settled on the far side of the couch from her, leaving Dick and Tim to take the two seater.

“You didn’t have to come all this way, Jazz,” Danny said, though his words were at odds with how thoroughly he had relaxed into her side.

Jazz rolled her eyes. “You were electrocute Danny, again. Of course I was going to come see you. Even if classes were in session, you’re more important than them.”

“Hum, fine,” Danny said with a huff of air. Somehow he settled in even further to his sister’s side. “Sam, Val, and Tucker send their love. With all the crazy press I told them to stay away so not to get caught up in this.”

“It is something for sure,” Jazz agreed. “How are you doing?”

“I’m tired and tired of being tired, it sucks. Oh, I’ve got more Lichtenberg scars!” Danny stuck his legs up in the air. His fuzzy, Nightwing patterned pants slid down his legs enough to show the scarring that wrapped around his ankles. The marks were still raised and red. Jason caught the legs as they dropped and settled them into his lap. He couldn’t help but run his thumb over the mark as soft reassurance that Danny was there and alive despite it all. “Not sure if these will stick around since they’re not ghostly.”

“You need to stop collecting them. No more getting electrocuted, big sister’s order.”

“Second that on boyfriend’s orders,” Jason said.

“Thirding that from the in-laws,” Dick said. In-laws? “Aw look at that, Jaybird is blushing.”

Jason pulled a throw pillow out from behind him and lobbed it at Dick. “Shut it.”

Dick easily caught the pillow with a laugh. “Jason and Danny, kissing in a tree—”

“Grayson, try to not be an embarrassment,” Damian said with a sigh.

“What? Jason and Danny could totally kiss in a tree. Danny can fly! I mean, not that we’ve seen it yet but he says he can,” Dick said.

“Oh he can. Nothing like walking into your little brother’s room to find him sitting on the ceiling,” Jazz said. “It was an interesting childhood.”

“It makes hanging things easy too,” Jason teased.

Danny sighed dramatically. “I knew you were just into me to be your glorified ladder.”

“That’s just because he wants to climb you,” Tim muttered absently.

Jason held up his hands for Dick to throw the pillow back to him and then lobbed it at Tim. It smacked Tim square in the face, making his little brother’s shoulders slump as it landed on his tablet.

“Really?”

“Don’t be crude,” Jason said.

Tim glared at Jason from under his bangs. The kid’s hair was getting long again. “Oh that’s rich coming from the Red Hood.”

“Red Hood?” Jazz’s voice cracked slightly.

Jason buried his face in his hands with a groan.

“Oh, shit, did she now know? I thought she knew!”

The whole couch shifted as Danny pulled himself up by Jason’s shirt so that he could cuddle him. “It’s okay, I love my hero.”

“Vigilante,” Jason mumbled.

“Daniel John Nightingale!” Jazz screeched. “Tell me you’re not doing vigilante stuff again!”

“Ooooooh full named!” Dick heckled.

“I am not doing vigilante stuff again,” Danny said.

“He’s really not,” Jason promised as he shifted Danny around to be more comfortable. “That’s just family business. I wouldn’t ask him to get involved.”

“Family…,” Jazz said. Jason watched her eyes dart from Danny to Jason to the rest of them. “Ancients you’re all, what would you call it? Various Batmen?”

“Usually we just go with Bats,” Tim said with a little shrug. “Especially since we’re not all, or only, men.”

“Okay, Bats,” Jazz said with a sigh. “Really, Danny?”

Danny shrugged, completely unrepentant by the way he smiled. “I didn’t know! I didn’t even know Jason was a Wayne until just before we started dating. That one is maybe on me though, I’m bad with faces.”

“You always have been,” Jazz said. “Really though, no hero stuff?”

“None. I’m focused on school. Well, and Jason. Dates are very nice, but mostly I’m focused on school. You can’t blame me for enjoying dates too!” Danny said.

Jazz laughed and shook her head. “No, I can’t. I’m glad you’re enjoying dates. Just try to stay out of the business, okay? I want you to be able to just enjoy your life. You have enough obligations waiting for you when you’re dead.”

“Do we have to work when we’re dead?” Tim asked desperately. “Please tell me we don’t have to work when we’re dead. That’s when I was planning to sleep.”

“No, Tim,” Jazz said gently. “Most people don’t work when they’re dead. Danny’s just an idiot—”

“Hey!”

“—who became the Ghost King without realizing what he was doing. His forever job starts when he dies.”

“Wait wait wait,” Dick spread his hands. “Danny is royalty?”

“Mhum.”

“Oh my god,” Dick said with a gleeful smile that Jason didn’t trust one bit. “Does that make Jason a prince? Queen? Does it feel like you’re in one of your regency books, Jay? What’s it like.”

Jason groaned and buried his face into Danny’s hair. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Dick cooed.

“Oh good, Jason can work then,” Tim said. “I just want to sleep.”

“You can sleep now,” Jason pointed out. “No one is stopping you. Hell, Alfred would encourage it.”

“Can’t,” Tim said. “I’ve got to get this PR stuff done. Is this a diplomatic issue now too?”

“What can I answer to help?” Jazz asked in such a patently big sibling way that Jason glanced up to exchange a look with Dick. Having one more person after Tim to rest couldn’t hurt.

Tim pursed his lips. “We’ve already done the usual asking for respect during this difficult time. Babs and I have been working on making sure the part of the video where Danny asked Jason to press the button is in circulation and in the right hands. There have been some pointed emails sent. Bruce is going to go on tomorrow and give a brief statement— which we need some answers for. We’ve got Clark coming to interview in a few days to do a proper story. Luckily Vickie Val has made it easy for us to go out of Gotham for that story with how she’s been behaving.

“They’ve found out about your parents, of course, but we were able to respond instantly with your name change and, in all essence what was nearly emancipation with how quickly you did it and moved out. There are some character stories from old classmates though calling you odd but also defense from current ones that we’ve been pushing further up in the SEO. Between those details and his survival, it’s no wonder that the question of Danny being a meta is circling That’s the main thing we need to know how to address and if we want to play into it.”

Jason had to take a moment to respond to all that. He’d been so focused on helping Danny heal and stay happy that he hadn’t even thought half of that through. He knew the press were out there, of course they were, but… “You’ve really worked this out, haven’t you?”

Tim just blinked owlishly at him. “Of course I have. It’s what I do. I know you didn't like me looking into Danny when we first found out about you dating him, but… this is why I do those things. Not just to protect the family from other people, but to protect the people who get close to us. I can help direct the conversation because I know ahead of time that things like the Fentons will come up."

“Thank you Tim, really.”

“Um… you’re welcome,” Tim said before he looked back down at his tablet. “We do need to decide if we go the meta route at all. Would that cause issues with the Fentons? Do they also hate metas?”

“No,” Jazz said. “Well, they would basically look at superheroes to make sure they weren’t ghosts in disguise or possessed, but other than that they didn’t really mention metas. It was actually pretty much a non topic in our town with everything else.”

“But we’d have to be careful with what we say I can do or… well, they’ll clock me as a ghost. I’ve never wanted to find out what would happen then.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to go to a hospital?” Dick asked in that carefully gentle tone of his.

Danny shrugged. “That but more old fears. There used to be a group called the GIW that were government funded ghost hunters that had legal clearance, basically, to experiment and exterminate any ecto-entities. I really don’t want to be dissected like some classroom frog.”

“Vivisected,” Jazz corrected in such an absent way that it spoke of old arguments.

Jason clutched Danny closer to him.

“It’s okay. They never really were very above the board, it turned out, and when the power changed hands they lost their funding and just sort of disappeared.”

“But it doesn’t mean there fear did,” Dick summed up.

“We will look into them,” Damian said, standing. “To be certain that they are gone and no longer a threat to you or Todd. Drake, you will not be needed on this while you are in this sleep deprived state. I will seek Gordon’s help instead.”

“Hey! I can still—”

“Finish up asking us questions,” Jazz interrupted smoothly. “It wouldn’t be hard to spin Danny as a mild meta from the results of a lab accident.”

“Maybe even give a half truth,” Jason said. “He was electrocuted around some chemicals and he ended up with a mild resistance to it.”

“That could work,” Tim said, tapping away on his tablet. “Generally useless in day to day life other than cutting down on annoyances when wiring something but just enough to survive this sort of trap. Have Bruce throw in a joke about how Danny produces a lot of static electricity or something to lighten the mood.”

“And it would make it seem like Danny has a resistance, not a weakness, in case anyone tries something again,” Jason added.

“That would be nice. Being tased really, really sucks,” Danny whined.

Jason pressed a kiss to Danny’s temple. “I know, fish.”

“Yes, alright, Bruce will need to put it in his own Brucie wording but I think this will work,” Tim said with a little nod. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

---

AN: Rereading through this, this might just be the whole chapter. Maybe I'll make the interview it's own chapter to cut down on the shock of going to that style of pov and piece. And then the final* chapter? Thoughts thoughts...

Anyways, words are hard, brain is tired, here is Jazz!

You can subscribe to the masterpost here.

[v3nusstardust]

🎀”Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my salty face when I start crying.”🎀

LOWKEY BASED OFF THAT ONE LINE IN HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEARTS BY MELANIE MARTINEZ AYEEEE

Pairing : Niki Nishimura x reader🎀

Genre : Fluff🤍

Summary : You were dealing with sleep issues and major depression but didn't tell your busy boyfriend, Niki. When he finally had a day off from his extremely busy schedule, he decided to spend it with you.

WARNINGS : mentions of not eating and depression

•

•

As you and your boyfriend strolled hand in hand through the busy mall, it was way quieter than usual. Niki, your boyfriend, noticed you were walking a bit slower and not really saying much.

Usually you were always talking about recent things that happened or just anything really, but the silence between you both was agonizing. Niki gently squeezed your hand, concern etched across his face. "Y/n, you seem really off. Is something bothering you?" he asked, his eyes searching yours. You sighed, feeling the weight of exhaustion and emotions. “Nope. Perfectly fine." The lack of sleep, with only an hour in the past day, had left its mark on both your physical and emotional well-being. A warm smile crossed Niki's face as he suggested, "Okay. What do you want to check out first?"

"Whatever…" you bluntly replied, your mind preoccupied with the internal struggle you were facing.

“Alright, let’s get some food then.” Niki responded.

You found a spot to sit in the food court. The aroma of fresh food flooded your nose. “What do you want to eat ,love?” Niki asked with a gentle expression. “I’m okay. I ate before you picked me up.” You lied. It had actually been a day since you ate. “Aw, what? But it’s so fun when we eat together y/n. We always have memorable moments.”Niki spoke softly. You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m just not hungry right now.”

“Oh, okay. We can go somewhere else. What's that store you wanted to check out?" Niki asked, trying to recall. You hesitated and finally said, "Can you just take me home?" Avoiding his gaze, you feared his reaction. Niki gently held your hands, his eyes softening. "I thought you loved shopping, which was why I proposed we come here on my day off.” He rubbed his thumb over your hands. His caring words resonated with you, but you didn't want to burden him. "Okay. Let's go home then. Maybe we can talk about it," he suggested, his warmth persistent.

Truth be told, you didn't want to talk about it. You knew it would worry him, and you didn't want him to miss important practices.

"Can you just drop me off? I need some time alone," you requested, meeting Niki's gaze. Concern crept into his tone as he asked, "Is however you're feeling my fault?"

You reassured him, "No, not at all. I just don't feel like doing anything today." A heavy sigh escaped your lips. Niki's worry lingered, "Alright. I'll take you home then." The car ride back was silent. The only sound was the light rain hitting the windows. You avoided looking at him the entire time.

Upon arriving home, he stepped out of the car with you. "Come here," he gently urged. You walked over, and his arms enveloped your body in a warm, comforting embrace. The light drizzle outside added a soothing touch to the moment. "I'll give you as much time alone as you need. Text me if you need anything," he said, pressing a soft peck to your forehead before letting you retreat into the comfort of your home.

As you stepped inside, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and sobs wracked your body. You had held back your tears the entire time, not wanting to burden your caring boyfriend. The realization of how he had been nothing but gentle and understanding intensified your guilt – it felt like you were treating him like garbage.

After letting out the pent-up emotions, you gathered yourself and headed to the living room. Determined to distract your mind, you sat down to finish up some college work.

You intentionally avoided checking your phone, aware of Niki's concerns, and not wanting to add to his worry. Focusing on your assignments, you dedicated about 5 hours to your work. Once you completed your tasks, you decided to take a shower. The warm water cascaded, soothing your nerves, and for a brief moment, you found a sense of peace.

Following your shower, you slipped into an oversized tee paired with adorable Hello Kitty pajama shorts. As you settled into bed, the room basked in a gentle glow from your small TV. However, overthinking took hold, and tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. The weight of your tired eyes intensified the pain of crying, and for a moment, you found yourself dissociating.

•

•

In the midst of your sob session, there was an unexpected knock on the door. Startled, you wiped away the tears. You lived in a pretty scary neighborhood and you assumed it could be anyone. You cautiously peaked out the window and realized it was your loving boyfriend Niki. You cautiously unlocked the door, worried of what he would say. Maybe he came to break up with you.

As you opened the door, a sight greeted you – Niki, drenched from the rain. "Sorry for pulling up unexpectedly. I was worried about you," he admitted with a nervous chuckle. In one hand, he held a bouquet of roses, and in the other, a bag full of snacks. Niki's presence in your doorway was like a breath of fresh air. His eyes locked onto your puffy red eyes, and his face swiftly transitioned into a concerned expression. "Have you been crying?" he asked, genuine worry evident in his voice. Without waiting for an answer, he let himself in, placing the roses and snacks on the table. His gaze softened as he approached you. He took off his damp hoodie and quickly wrapped his arms around you. "I brought your favorites. Thought we could just hang out, talk, or not talk—whatever you need," Niki offered. Feeling a mix of emotions, You began to cry again. You cried into his shoulder, probably getting tears and snot all over him. His hand caressed your hair. He peppered gentle kisses on the top of your head. “You can talk to me about it when you’re ready.” He said, stroking the back of your hair.

"Have you eaten?" Niki asked, concern evident in his eyes. You shook your head no. "Okay, well, I know it's not a proper meal, but I brought you some snacks, so eat up, Y/n," he said with a warm smile, handing you the bag of snacks. "I'm... not really hungry," you admitted with a sigh.

"Come here. Sit next to me," he invited, taking a seat at your kitchen table. "Okay, which one do you want to try first? I brought chocolate and strawberry Pocky," he said, grabbing the boxes of snacks. "Niki, I don't..." you began, but he interrupted .

“Don't. Give me that. I know you, Y/n. I'm gonna feed you," he insisted with a teasing smile. "Oh, okay, then. Strawberry, please," you smiled, letting him take care of you in this simple, comforting way.

After sharing snacks, You and Niki were now laying in your bed together. Limbs tangled together and wrapped in his embrace. The weight on your shoulders began to decrease. “Your hair smells good.” he giggled, and you couldn't resist smiling at the adorable scrunch of his nose when he laughed.

In the quiet intimacy, you found the courage to share your struggles. "The reason I was acting so weird lately is because I've been super depressed," you confessed , breaking the silence. "I haven't felt like myself in a while. I just... didn't want to tell you because I know how worried you get. I didn't want to be a burden on you,".

Niki's gaze softened, a warm and gentle look in his eyes. His hand reached up to cup your face, and his thumb caressed your lips. "Darling, you would never be a burden on me. No matter what you go through, I want you to tell me. You worried me this week," he reassured, his sincerity echoing in the dimly lit room. “Our texts were getting shorter and so were our calls. It scared me.” Niki’s eyes began to get watery.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, the hurt evident in your voice. Niki gently interrupted, "Everything's going to be okay now. I'm here. Tell me everything." He placed a comforting kiss on your lips, and his words continued like a soothing melody. "You're such a strong, beautiful girl. How did I get so lucky?" he said, showering kisses on your cheeks.

The warmth of your boyfriend enveloped you, inducing a sense of drowsiness. “Niki I haven’t been able to get a proper sleep for about a week now, but just being here with you is making me so sleepy.” You chuckled, a yawn escaping your lips. “Okay. I’ll be here all tomorrow then too. Go to sleep , mkay love? I’ll hold you all night and make sure you’re safe.” He placed a small kiss to the bridge of your nose.

You were finally able to drift into a peaceful slumber.

(A/n : I have to go to school today oh hell no💀 time to interact with oversized rats all day 👎lmk if u fw this tho🎀🎀 I love y’all Fr !!! y’all hype my stuff up and it makes my whole week 😘😘😘)

[ms-demeanor]

So I love your computer information and advice - but I have never used a password manager because I’ve always figured it’s just putting all my most sensitive information out there to be stolen when someone gets into the password manager. What am I missing here?

The primary thing is that, in the normal course of time and space, given the limitations of computing technology, if you are using a decent password manager, nobody should be able to get into your password manager.

Good password managers (I recommend Bitwarden) are essentially impossible to access through cracking the encryption. It just won't happen. It's not going to happen.

In a decent password manager, your data also will not be available to the company that made the product. They can't get it. They don't have access, and anyone who breaks into their systems doesn't have access.

So there is one way that someone could get into your (decent) password manager: if they know your password.

That's why it's important to create one complex, memorable, unique password for your password manager that you do not share with anyone except in the most dire circumstances with someone you are 100% certain that you can trust (I've used the example in the past of my spouse giving me the password to his password manager when he was being prepped for an emergency bypass surgery - outside of situations like that, my spouse and I don't share passwords with each other).

Now, let's look at the flipside: if you do not use a decent password manager (which will generate nonsense random passwords for you on demand), you are probably creating passwords that are comparatively very easy to crack either through dictionary attacks or effortless to crack with credential stuffing.

Part of the problem here is that our data and security landscape is garbage. You have almost certainly had personal information leaked in a data breach that you had no say in participating in. You have almost certainly had your email address and multiple passwords exposed in breaches over the years. You have almost certainly used the same answers repeatedly for security questions, and there are only so many sites that will allow you to update those questions and answers, and those answers have almost certainly been exposed in previous breaches.

And the thing is, people are predictable. People reuse passwords, which makes credential stuffing extremely easy, because someone just has to find a leak from 2009 to identify your email address and then see if you used your 2009 password on any other accounts that you also registered with that email address. If your email address shows up in multiple leaks, they can compare the kinds of passwords that you used with different accounts.

Did you use the "unique password" hack that so many people do of "[site abbreviation][basic password][birthyear][punctuation]"? FBpassword95! TWTpassword95! TMBLRpassword95! - that's really, really common because passwords are hard to remember and people behave in predictable ways when they're trying to save themselves some labor.

Perhaps you are an XKCD reader and learned the CorrectHorseBatteryStaple trick, but unless you read the follow-up studies after the fact you might not know that those passwords are actually pretty crackable unless you're using words that are more like IndubitablyNematodeErlenmeyerRisome. And if you're using a unique combination of uncommon words it's going to get pretty hard to remember a hundred of them. And you'll start repeating. And then it's back to credential stuffing instead of dictionary attacks.

The point is that you are substantially more at risk of having your accounts accessed if you are repeating or using non-random passwords than you are if you are using a password manager. Some people do actually sit down with dice to roll up random passwords and write them in a book, but the vast majority of people are relying on their predictable human brains to come up with "complex" passwords and we are just not good at that.

Password managers also make it a lot easier to change things after a breach, and they make it a lot easier to generate and store random gibberish for your security questions (which you should be doing; at this point security questions are a liability, not an account recovery tool).

Using a password manager would make most people's passwords significantly more secure AND more accessible than something like writing randomized numbers and characters in a book (because a good password should not only be difficult to remember, it should be unnatural for you to type because there shouldn't be any words in it and it should require a lot of use of the shift key). A properly used password manager can also help to protect you from phishing sites by recognizing the correct site and not allowing an option to fill on a phishing site (which is why using a password manager with a browser plugin or an app can be a better option than one that is stored on your desktop and needs the password copy/pasted instead of filling the field for you).

So yes, if someone gets access to your password, they can get access to your password manager and you now have one point of failure instead of hundreds of accounts. However, because of the way that human brains work and because of how balls-to-the-walls uncrackable a good encrypted password vault is, you are likely to be more secure with that single point of failure than you are using the kinds of passwords that most people make up (we are really, really, really not good at making up nonsense passwords; go look at the top thousand passwords and think about how many of them you've used as a PART of any of your passwords. Most languages have a very small number of words that people use on a regular basis and it isn't that hard to get a computer to scan for a few thousand words if it has unlimited attempts to get into your account - mix that in with the fact that there are SO, SO many breaches out there and it is frighteningly easy to get into a lot of accounts).

However, you can then also make your password manager even MORE secure by setting up 2FA to access it. At which point the only way someone is getting into your password manager is if they know your password and have access to your 2FA account.

Generally I find that what most people are worried about isn't that their horrible ex or an abusive parent will get into their password manager, they're a lot more worried that the contents of their password vault will be exposed in a breach. And that is just not going to happen if you're using a securely encrypted password manager (like bitwarden).

[tragedy-for-sale]

Bedrock Headcannons: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Bedrock headcannons are headcannons that I regard as a fact in the personality of a character I write about. They range from small details to a huge part of a character's backstory. These headcannons are a constant underlayer in all of my fics that involve these characters.

﹄『❝ Obi-Wan ❞』﹃

He cut his hair shortly after the war begun because Anakin made a comment he looked like Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan couldn't handle it.

Obi-Wan is very quiet and not just in the sense of him not talking a whole lot. But his steps, the swoosh of his robe, the smile in his eyes. He moves with grace which results in many people being taken off guard when he's in the room, as if he just appears. But he's also quiet in the way that you'd never know he was crying if you couldn't see his face, quiet in the way of showing love through always having snacks on him for Anakin, Ahsoka or any of his men. Whoever asks him first. He's quiet in pain and agony, in love and passion.

Obi-Wan feels extremely bittersweet about Dooku. He remembered how highly Qui-Gon regarded him, how they'd go catch up at a diner and how Obi-Wan always begged to go. He never knew the Dooku that Qui-Gon did and Obi-Wan has a hard time understanding how his master was trained by someone so vile. Everytime he faces the Count, he remembers Qui-Gon, and he remembers how much his master cared for this man that is trying to kill him.

He loves Coruscant in the rain. When he was younger, Qui-Gon would take him up to the roof of the temple and they'd talk until they could see stars. But if it was raining, they'd be outside splashing each other until they were soaked.

He doesn't go up there as often anymore, but the first year after Qui-Gon's death, Obi-Wan was missing all day. It was Quinlan Vos who found him, he was the only person still alive that knew about his hiding place.

Obi-Wan's 18th birthday was spent out on the streets of Coruscant. He snuck out with Quinlan Vos and Kit Fisto. The three ran into trouble and at the stroke of midnight, Obi-Wan was in tears, desperately hoping his friends would find him.

He was sent to Mandalore with Qui-Gon soon after.

Obi-Wan will go get tea with Padme when Anakin is still out in space. He doesn't say he checks on Padme to Anakin, but he'll say he caught Padme and they chatted for a while and that she's doing well.

During down time, he wears heavy robes because Obi-Wan is cold all the time. Especially when on the Negotiatior. If he's able, he'll always go sit in the sun, feeling the warmth on his face.

As the war progresses, the toll of it starts to affect him more and more. He starts to feel things more deeply then he ever had and he finds himself drowning constantly. Fear he's never known paralyzes him and he can't talk to anyone because there's nothing anyone can do. He's going to drown and he can see all the people he loves playing in the water not noticing he's been swept up by the tide.

Dex's Diner has been Obi-Wan's place for years, he brings only the most important people in his life there. Dex basically watched Obi-Wan grow up, he knows his favorite book, his deepest pain and insecurities, and how many times he's fallen in love.

Obi-Wan takes Cody anytime they're on Coruscant for leave. One night, it was late and after close, but it was in that little worn down diner that Obi-Wan and Cody celebrated their marriage, slow dancing to whatever jukebox tune was playing and holding each other tight.

After Order 66 happens, Cody feels drawn to the diner, he sits there for hours. Dex knows better to assume the identity of this helmeted man, but he always sits in Obi-Wan's booth and watches the door, expecting the love of his life to walk right in and apologize for being late. But Obi-Wan never comes, and there is never an apology.

﹄『❝ Obi-Wan ❞』﹃

[salty-croissants]

this is extremely unnecessarily long, but if it's okay, can I request separate hcs for Bullfrog and Rayman (+ Ramon if it's cool) with a touch-starved, easily flustered and insecure yet passionate fem!reader (who can also REALLY kick ass or speak up when others have messed with the ones she loves) as their friend / s/o (who might or might not be on the spectrum, likes to rant or infodump a LOT about medias that she likes such as games, shows or horror media, who also loves drawing herself with the ones she loves and giving them small things randomly in a way to make them feel better, like snacks, drawings of them, or even something they thought of getting beforehand) ?

Thank you for the request ! 

Don’t worry , the length was okay ! Since it was very detailed it was fun to work with it :D 

Hope it turned out okay !

Details : use of female reader ;

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed , other than a bit of a suggestive line in Ramon’s part

Bullfrog 💚

Bullfrog is a very loving boyfriend , so when you tell him you’re touch-starved he is going to make it his mission to shower you with affection all the time … 

And when I mean all the time , I’m being very serious :

as soon as you wake up , he’s going to cuddle you as long as he can ;

you’re both going somewhere , either a mission or just doing something outside ? He will be holding your hand the whole time ; 

you had a bad day or are feeling tired ? You better believe Bullfrog is going to be holding you in his arms the whole time to help you feel better …

Yeah , no force of nature is going to stop him from displaying his love for you , so … yep , better be ready ! 

If you ever feel insecure about yourself or your relationship , Bullfrog is quick to solve any of your doubts …

< I don’t know … what if you really would be better off with somebody else instead of - > 

< y/n , chérie , you’re the only one for me . 

Nobody else will ever able to make me feel this way , how could I possibly want to leave someone who is beautiful in every way ? > 

He is in love with all the drawings you make featuring the two of you together , and he holds onto each one of them very dearly … 

They have been made by his beloved just for him after all , so Bullfrog is going to cherish them forever .

He also carries some of them with him when he goes on very dangerous missions , keeping them carefully folded in his pocket : he really does think that having a symbol of your love for him by his side will bring him good luck .

As always , Bullfrog is always so happy to listen to you talking about all of your various interests , and it’s not rare for him to start getting into them thanks to you .

< Would it be okay to watch that series finale tonight ? It’s completely fine if you’re busy - > 

< Non , that would be wonderful mon amour ! We don’t have any more missions left , and besides I’m really curious to see what will happen after that cliffhanger ! > 

The way he supports your passion always brings a smile on your face … which is what Bullfrog strives for every day : to see you as happy as you can be ://) 

Rayman 🧡

Since he is often very busy with his shows , Rayman can’t always be around to give you affection … but you can be sure that as soon as he comes home to you he will not be letting you go for hours .

< Oh y/n … I missed you so much , I’ve been looking forward to this all day … >

Those sweet little moments he gets to spend with you are more valuable to him than anything else , and Rayman loves to demonstrate it by showering you with kisses , enjoying your adorable reactions to them .

< Aw , you look so cute when you’re blushing honey ~ > 

< Pfft - stooop ~ > 

Indeed … if you’re someone that gets flustered easily you better prepare yourself , because this man will be complimenting you and every little thing you do at all times .

Rayman really just wants you to know that you’re the most important person in his life , the one who saved him from a life of loneliness … he really wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you were gone .

However , there are also ways to fluster him instead : 

for example if you ever were to stand up for him when somebody is being a douchebag about his species , Rayman will be completely head over heels for you …

< y/n , thank you for what you said back there …

It really meant a lot . > 

< No need to thank me , Ray ! I couldn’t just stand there and let that random guy say all that stuff about you … what kind of girlfriend would let that slide ? >

< Heh … you’re amazing sweetie .

 I love you so much ~ > 

Similarly to Bullfrog , Rayman definitely keeps all the drawings you make for him , hanging them in his office : no matter what anyone’s opinion is , the art made by his sweetheart will all stay right there on the walls , and that’s final . 

He will also be gushing about it to anyone who asks …

< Oh , that ? My beautiful y/n made it for me … isn’t she just so talented ? > 

Rayman remembers all of your interests in full detail , and sometimes he likes to surprise you by buying you gifts related to them , or even more …

< *gasp* oh my god - is that a ticket for that movie I really wanted to watch ? >

< It sure is ! Looks like the Directors haven’t scheduled anything for tomorrow , so I was thinking we could go watch it today … does that sound good ? > 

< It sounds perfect ! Thank you my love , thank you so much ! ~ > 

< It’s the least I could do for you , darling … I just want to see you smile , that’s all that matters to me . >

Ramon 🖤

After everything that’s happened , Ramon has definitely become a lot more protective of you , which means he will be by your side pretty much all the time : 

holding you close to him and feeling your warmth calms him down , so if you’re touch starved it’s an absolute win .

… tough sometimes he might get a bit too attached .

< Ram , honey , I have to go to the bathroom … could you , you know … let me get up for a second ? > 

< Hmmpf … > 

< Pretty please ? ~ > 

< Okay okay … just … come back soon . > 

< I will , don’t worry . > 

Knowing how easy it is to make you flustered , Ramon is definitely going to have a fun time just sneaking behind you and start whispering sweet nothings in your ear , using that deep , raspy voice that he knows will make your whole face turn red …

< You look so pretty , y/n … sometimes I could just eat you up …

I might do just that , actually ~ >

The way you blush is just so cute … Ramon can’t help but want to see that lovely face of yours  every day .

Ramon likes to sit next to you while you draw , silently watching you and all the little expressions you make when you’re focused …

Every piece you make that features him will be kept somewhere safe , maybe something close to an album , so that he’ll be able to look at it whenever you’re away or if he’s not having the best day : seeing such a sincere display of your love for him never fails to bring him joy , and it makes him even more determined to keep you safe no matter what . 

While he likes to stay quiet when you discuss about your interest , Ramon is going to remember every little thing you tell him , and this gets demonstrated when the two of you are watching either a series or a movie you like .

< Hm , that’s the character we saw at the beginning , right ? The one that you mentioned we’d see yesterday ? > 

< Oh - you remember I told you that ? > 

< Mhm , I always remember everything say to me … I love listening to you . > 

< Hehe … thank you , Ramon … 

I love you ~ > 

< Love you too , y/n … and I’ll love you always ~ > 

[aihoshiino]

chapter 161 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 18

Aqua Hoshigan Status: For the future

Never has an OnK chapter gone from It's Hoshinover to We Are Oshi no Back quite as hard and fast as this one. I have issues with this chapter in terms of what it implies about the story's overall structure and the fact that it sort of ruins 153-4 by association but this chapter's back half is so fucking good and the chapter itself works so well in isolation that much like 153-4, I kind of uhhh don't care about the structural issues because the story's heart is, for the most part, not just intact but beating harder and more passionately than it has in a long time.

To get what I don't like out of the way, the story seems to have settled on Super Evil Serial Killer Mastermind Kamiki as his final form characterization with some helpful Tsukuyomi exposition to just straightforwardly Tell Us things the manga probably should have spent some of the last 70something chapters Showing Us about Hikaru. The basic idea of Hikaru being some sort of serial killer so dedicated to upholding Ai's legacy that he kills women with the potential to surpass her was more or less always where I expected his character to land and this settling of his character does at least preserve what I think is the most important thing: that he genuinely loved Ai and his bent towards villainy only came after her death.

What I don't love as much is that this chapter seems to continue leaning into Uber God Manipulator Mastermind Kamiki like last chapter. I already talked at length about my issues with this framing in my previous chapter review so all I'll reiterate here is that the story's attempt to frame Hikaru as being equally or even more culpable for the actions of Nino and Ryosuke fall entirely flat to me, especially when the manga itself does such a pisspoor job of actually explaining how or why Kamiki was able to control and/or predict their actions to the extent that he supposedly did. And ESPECIALLY especially given that Nino and Ryosuke seem to have already been dangerously obsessed with Ai by the time they approached him.

In general, Hikaru's character is honestly just so inconsistent at this point that making any sense of his actions feels fruitless. If I really dig into what's going on, I can infer that maybe he fell into the same trap as Aqua by overcompensating for his trauma-induced helplessness by becoming overly controlling and guess that his fucked up trauma response to Ai's death combined with those terrible words Kindaichi gave him at Airi's funeral lead him down he road he's traveling now. I can even extrapolate that Aqua showing him the DVD message in 153-4 pushed Hikaru to this extreme and now that he has nothing to lose, he's lashing out at his children too - though, it should be noted, that the manga still hasn't actually established what Hikaru's culpability is in Nino's attempt on Ruby's life, outside of Aqua saying "well you didn't use your psychic powers to perfectly predict nino's actions so it's on you".

But like - this is all stuff I'm having to infer and extrapolate and guess, reverse engineering logic from our end point in an attempt to create a stable foundation for this characterization. The manga has done such a poor job of properly establishing Hikaru both as an antagonistic force and as a consistent character that I feel like I'm trying to assemble a coherent image from two different puzzle sets with all the fucking corner pieces missing and that's with Crow Girl looking into the camera and Explaining Him to me.

And listen, I am a bitch who LOVES to infer things. One of my absolute favourite pieces of fiction of all time ever is Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, a mystery story that literally does not contain any straightforwardly explicit, textual confirmation of the culprit's identity or motives because it believes so strongly that you, the reader, are smart enough and empathetic enough to put in the time and effort necessary to understand it regardless and it deeply, deeply values being able to give you that experience. But OnK feels less like it's intentionally encouraging me to think hard and enjoy the process of putting my head and my heart to work - it feels like it's leaving its homework unfinished and letting the reader do the actual hard work of sewing up the internal logic.

I probably won't talk much more about Kamiki this chapter cos I'd just be saying all this shit over and over but I really just am struggling to understand from a perspective of authorial intent what the vibe is even supposed to be. Like I mentioned in a previous ask, if this is where Kamiki's arc is reaching its conclusion then it means that the Movie Arc was essentially a whole-ass waste of time in and out of universe. Blech. Hate that.

Also, before I move on, I don't want to leave this just implied - making Kamiki explicitly a CSA victim and then ending his arc on Aqua (and implicitly the narrative) dismissing him as being too broken/corrupted to be saved is a really major misstep that I think represents a huge black mark on OnK's handling of CSA as a topic. The idea of an eternal defilement or an unfixable core wrongness in the self is already something real life CSA victims struggle with in the process of unpacking their trauma and having our likable and supposedly morally superior protagonist espouse this unchallenged in a work as prominent and relevant as Oshi no Ko is irresponsible bordering on dangerous. It's incredibly disappointing that after all the care Aka and Mengo seemingly took in handling this topic that it was whiffed so badly at the last second.

ANYWAY!!! Now all the beef's been dealt with, we can cleanse our palettes and move onto everything else I liked which was… basically everything else in this chapter!

Admittedly, Aqua's overall arc is still suffering from us being kicked out of his head from like 123 onwards for no real apparent reason and while 150 was a welcome refresher on where he's at in this part of the story, it still feels a bit like the story is prioritizing preserving the surprise factor of its twists over making these surprises feel earned. Compare it to volume 1 - you are basically told exactly what is going to happen to Ai, especially in the manga when Saitou and Gotanda outright say as much - but her death is still incredibly impactful and upsetting. I think this chapter is very effective, but could've been a lot moreso if we'd spent more time in Aqua's head leading up to it.

THAT SAID… If the intention of keeping us out of his head was to recontextualize Aqua's behaviour across the past ten or so chapters in this new light, I don't hate it as much as I might have. I initially took issue with what felt like the story off-screening and not addressing the resolution to Aqua's suicidal ideation so whipping back around to prove that it was still very much present puts some particular Aqua moments over this past volume into a very different light. As some people pointed out, Aqua missing Kana's pitch - literally dropping the ball in responding to her feelings - and his wide-eyed look of alarm in 151 seemed very ominous omens for the success of her confession and that beat of him covering his face when Kana approves of his dream… very incheresting knowing Aqua was still struggling with 'love or revenge' at this point.

Most interesting of all to reconsider is Aqua breaking down in tears in Miyako's arms in 155 when she addresses him as her son for the first time. At the time it read like catharsis but now I can't help but wonder if this was Aqua grieving for something he desperately wants but thinks is out of his reach.

i do have to say though. i get the general vibe of this plan and think it works fine as the apex of aqua's self-sacrificial protectiveness for the people he loves but how is being the daughter of a serial killer somehow any less scandalous for her career than being the sister of someone who killed one dude. does aqua think they just won't notice that kamiki happens to be their biodad or something. wasn't that the whole point of the movie. goofy ass plan.

What really saves this whole scenario is the emotions at play, though. This really does feel like Aqua at his most Aqua in a really long while and this chapter has so much love and respect for his life as Aqua and the bonds he has formed as a result. The dreams Aqua lays out are so agonizingly simple, too - he wants to pursue the career he finds rewarding. He wants to date the girl he likes. He wants to accept Miyako as his mom and Himekawa as his brother and to make things right with Akane after hurting and using her. He wants to see Ruby achieve her dream and be there to support her when she does.

But Aqua's always considered his dreams impossible, hasn't he?

I fully admit; I got spoiled with the full page spread of Aqua stabbing himself way in advance of the chapter and initially hated it as a twist. But with the full chapter as context and the sheer weight of Aqua's longing to just fucking live and find joy, it's not just effective but absolutely gutwrenching. It is the synthesis of Aqua's series-long battle to choose love or revenge and it resonates perfectly because it has never been one or the other for him - Aqua's revenge has always been rooted in the fact that he loves others so wholly and completely and hates himself so utterly that he thinks sacrificing himself to preserve their futures is the only path for him to take. It's the culmination and final release of the suicidal ideation Aqua has been dealing with since he was four years old and like Ai's tragedy before him, there's a horrible sense that maybe there really was no other way this could've gone.

Aqua being the character who actually takes the knife also firmly cements him as Ai's narrative echo in the text which has me barkin and howlin because it's what I've been saying all this time. Not just that, but so many of Aqua's expressions in this chapter pointedly and deliberately echo Ai's after she was stabbed. Not just that, but Aqua's achingly simple dreams echo Ai's own heartrendingly simple regrets - all the two of them ever wanted was to be happy with the people they love.

This also reframes the story's prior establishment of Ruby as paralleling Ai and seems to place the twins in the position of echoing not Ai in her entirety but Ruby as 'Ai of B-Komachi' and Aqua as 'Ai Hoshino'. This was actually something I outlined in one of my very first meta posts on the series, but I think making it more specific to 'Ruby as Ai the idol' and 'Aqua as Ai the human', this actually gives Ruby's arc in relation to Ai a bit of breathing room. Don't get me wrong, everything I've said about her post-BH writing being underbaked and inconsistent is still the case, especially when it comes to how confused the story is on whether Ruby is her own idol or New And Improved Ai 2.0 but giving it less ground to cover helps in terms of her writing no longer being spread quite as thin.

Speaking of Ruby, that beat of her seeming to react or sense something is up the moment Aqua takes the stab. 'Something happened to my loved one far away and I just Feel It' is a trope I'm always a sucker for and I really dig it here.

"The public don't care about the truth, so let's tell them a lie" is such a crazy hard sentiment to go out on too. Holy fuck.

There go our boys…!!! Quite a few people predicted they might go over the edge when Aqua showed up in his Mephisto fit (Mefitsto) and I'm interested to see if we get any parallels to the ED's imagery in the next few chapters. Overall, though, I'm really excited for where things are going - I don't think Aqua will die, but I do have some theories about what might happen. I can't think of a more traditional misogi purification experience than the middle of the ocean in late December, after all…

No break next week! Woohoo! While the delay of episode 12 means we won't be getting them on the same day, that is the same week S2 of the anime will be concluding and Aka does like lining up his bombshells with the anime. So who knows what we'll see.

seriously tho aqua. everyone already knows kamiki is you and ruby's biodad. HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN HER BEING THE DAUGHTER OF A SERIAL KILLER AS IT ALREADY STANDS

[benispunk]

One special name

Irondad & Spiderson

There's never enough irondad and spiderson content, and i love and miss them so much. Here's my improvised work from last night. Sorry for my mistakes if there's any!! xx

"Pepper is going to be so mad"

"I'm sure she'll understand, Mr.Stark. Right?"

Peter fidgets with his fingers, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. They were stuck in an elevator. Peter had followed Tony around all day, per Tony's request who just wanted to spend time with him during his very boring-full of meetings-tons of work-day.

This afternoon meeting happened to be outside of the Tower, in a building Tony or FRIDAY had no control over and which’s elevator, as they had seen, wasn't reliable. What was funny about this day was that Pepper had taken their phones so that Tony wouldn't be distracted.

"Stop treating me like a child!"

"Then stop acting like one." Pepper deadpanned earlier that day when Tony had refused to leave his penthouse.

He found the situation ironic, really. First, he doesn't want to go to work, then they take away his phone only to agree to Peter's presence who is almost 100% of the time the reason why Tony is always distracted, then they schedule meetings outside his workplace and life blocks him in an elevator. What a perfect a day.

"Why are you laughing?" Peter asked, clearly trying to ignore the signs of a panic attack. Tony seemed to realize that and forces Peter to sit down on the floor next to him.

"'Cause I didn't want to go to this meeting and even when I can't control it, life fulfills my biggest wishes". He watched as Peter huffed a laugh but didn’t seem to relax at all.

"Hey Pete, we're gonna be okay. And if there is a problem, need i remind you that you're Spider-Man and I believe to be Iron Man myself so..."

Peter chuckled this time, which made Tony smile in return.

"Right. It's just an elevator."

"Just an elevator. And it's pretty clean too, look at that." Tony pointed at the floor around them to distract Peter some more.

Suddenly, they felt the elevator move for an instant before it stopped again. The sound it made got Peter's ears to ring loudly. He immediately covered them with his hands and winced.

Tony instantly put his arms around Peter's shoulder to protect him. But the elevator didn't move again. They were definitely stuck now.

"It's okay, it stopped."

Peter slowly uncovered his ears and leaned against Tony's side.

"I'm sorry you have to be stuck with me" the teenager whispered, not quite enjoying the moment either.

Not only did he have to be stuck in an elevator, which is already one of the worst things that could happen to him, but Tony had to be there when he was totally freaking out over this stupid situation. Not forgetting the fact Tony was busy.

"Excuse me? That's probably going to be my favorite part of the day."

"I'm not joking, Mr.Stark. You shouldn’t be taking care of someone like me like that. And you're gonna be late."

Tony frowned.

"Okay, I think we're not on the same page right now." Peter felt Tony's perplexed stare on him. He decided to just brush it off and move away from Tony's embrace, already feeling embarrassed enough.

"Forget it, I'm sorry."

"You come back here, you're scared and I'm here for you, that's what it is." The man declared, scooting closer to Peter.

Tony waited for Peter's reaction but he didn't move. He was huddled up in the corner of the elevator. Tony sighed in defeat.

"One day you'll understand that you're as important to me as you make me feel in return."

"I don't think it's actually possible, Mr.Stark." Peter mumbled back, making Tony laugh out loud.

"Pff. Try me. You don't even call me by my name."

Peter lifted his head up with a gasp.

"Mr.Stark is your name."

"That's my old man's name. I'm Tony. Tones. Anthony for those I hate the most. Stark for the annoying ones."

"Yes, but you'll always be Mr.Stark for me." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Mr. Parker."

"No." Peter retorted, already knowing Tony was never going to stop.

"What did you say, Peter Benjamin Parker ?"

He had no idea how it could get worse than that.

"How dare you?"

"I'm not hearing you, Spider-Boy ."

Okay, now he knew.

"Tony, stop it please." The man in question raised his hands up in the air in triumph.

"That's my boy !" Peter chuckled and leaned back against Tony's side.

"I'm kidding, you know? You can call me however you want. Even the stupidest nicknames." Tony declared and looked up at him.

"Do you have stupid nicknames?" he asked.

"One time a guy called me Tony Stank."

Tony grinned when he heard Peter's loud laugh again. He doesn't think he can live without hearing his kid's laugh ever again.

Suddenly, the elevator started moving again, this time smootlhy and without any problems.

"Looks like we're going back up again."

They raised to their feet and waited for the doors to open to the meeting's floor.

"You'll wait in the corridor? It's pretty boring, i don't want you to endure these guys anyway." Tony said before the door opened and they were leaving the terrible elevator behind.

"Yeah, no problem"

Peter sat down on of the chairs and watched Tony approaching the meeting room, but before he could enter Peter stopped him,

"Oh and Mr-I mean, Tony?"

The man turned back around and nodded at him to go on.

"Even...Even Dad?" Peter's voice was shaking. Tony stood frozen in astonishment. He was not expecting this. But saying he hadn’t dream about it felt like a lie.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah that's a perfect name"

Peter grinned and Tony sent him a wink before finally entering the room.

[evilkitten3]

tbh i think azula would do it on purpose to get back at zuko for doing it on accident XD

but yeah. realistically they probably wouldn't go with the gaang but nothing about this au involves realism so if they did they'd probably be astonished to discovery that useful items do not in fact just show up out of nowhere.

sokka: ok we need to find some food anyone have any experience hunting in this kind of environment

azula: no but we'll probably all figure it out within a week or two

katara: that's very nice but if we run out of food we'll all be dead within a week or two

zuko: it's ok, some will show up once it's clear that we need it

aang: what, like.... a friendly spirit brings it to you?

azula: don't be ridiculous, of course not. it just shows up

katara: why would it do that?

zuko: bc we need it?????

sokka: ...hey random question did my dad actually tell you guys that we were leaving things for you?

zuko & azula: *identical surprised pikachu faces*

atla crack au where zuko and azula burn the palace down as kids (like 12 and 10, respectively, pre-banishment but post-grandpacide), run away to avoid consequences, and somehow end up "discreetly" living in the abandoned fire nation ship in the south pole ("discreetly" is a word which here means "all the adults know they're there bc they have massive arguments every other day, and when hakoda's nearby he "drops" things that might be useful")

ozai ends up blaming the palace fire on iroh and banishes him. he must capture the children to regain his honor (translator's note: this is adult speak for "get their asses back here so i can ground them for the rest of their lives")

[iamnmbr3]

Canonically how do you think postwar drarry's romance and dynamics would be?how much things change btwn them?they become cute and fluffy or they keep fighting? how they behave together and how they start meeting when there's no reason for them to meet, chain of new events or accidentally?(do not write fanfic or anything but simply your assumption of absolute canon drarry)

As usual you come into my inbox with yet another delightful and interesting question. I tend to think if Harry and Draco actually got together postwar their relationship would be pretty good. (Of course everyone is free to write/headcanon whatever they want and you can make pretty much any type of AU scenario work if you tweak the circumstances just right). I love a good toxic, twisted dark 'enemies to enemies who are also lovers' twisted romance but that just isn't drarry in canon.

Both characters tend to shy away from true cruelty - despite being placed in some very trying circumstances that encourage the opposite from them - and even when they are enemies on opposite sides of the war they can't seem to bring themselves to hate or hurt each other. I think they are genuinely extremely compatible - emotionally and intellectually as well as in terms of having some pretty important life experiences in common despite their radically different upbringings. They also have complimentary interests, senses of humor, personalities and magic (ding ding ding wand compatibility!). Not to mention they've both been fascinated by each other since day one.

So all that is to say, when they finally get together (which definitely takes some work given they were on opposite sides of the war and enemies before that and all that happened between them wouldn't just vanish overnight) it works surprisingly well. I think they might banter/bicker playfully because they both enjoy each other's wit but they wouldn't actually truly argue or fight. They did enough of that. But I do see them having a much softer, gentler version of their original dynamic. I think they enjoy each other's sass (now with proper boundaries so no one is actually getting upset).

As for how they meet again. Let's be real. This is drarry. They always, always find each other. These 2 cannot stay away from each other. Harry definitely testifies for Draco so he doesn't go to jail. And Draco probably contacts him at some point to thank him. Maybe they start writing letters back and fourth. Or if they go to 8th year together they are immediately pulled back into each other's orbit the same as they always were - except now Draco's trying to make amends and Harry can't stop watching him (maybe at first he thinks he's up to something or maybe not) and is strangely insistent on helping him. Or maybe they meet later, out in the working world. They both have lived rent free in each other's heads since the age of 11. After the war neither would forget the other. They find each other.

Awkward conversations and apologies and possibly some left over hostility (because let's be real - Draco tends to lash out when he's feeling vulnerable and Harry tends to meet fire with fire) turn into easier conversations and a growing sense of that nameless thing that always lay between them that neither has ever acknowledged and realization that what they miss most about Quidditch is playing against each other (and a Seekers game that turns into friendly bickering) and a growing appreciation for each other and increasing sharing of confidences (because so few others really understand what facing Voldemort was like - how he moved, how he reacted, how he killed) and somehow it doesn't feel as vulnerable or isolating talking about it with someone else who just understands and isn't going to act like a shocked and pitying outsider. Not to mention that they both have to come to terms with how fit each thinks the other is. And well. One thing leads to another. The path doesn't run smooth. Harry worries what his friends will think and Draco worries about it even more. But in the end things are alright and they are happy.

[cemeteryspider]

Ballet on the Bayou Pt. 4

Alastor x Ballerina! Reader

Summary: Who lives, who dies, who tells your story ig...

Trigger Warnings: Violence, grief, mourning, death, and drug use

Word Count: 1156

Previous | Next

Ballet on the Bayou Masterlist

"Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is boring stuff. I thought you would have done something interesting by now" Angel practically yelled at the pair.

"I am getting there, Angel Dust, context is important" Alastor said to get Angel to stop talking.

"Yes, Angel the good part is coming, I promise dear" Your finger brushed up against Angel Dust's cheek to get him to look at Alastor again.

"Fine but this better be worth it toots" Alastor's eye twitched and his smile lessened just a little, but the little laugh you let out was enough to make him calm down again.

"Now where was I? Yes!"

~~~

You had recently gotten the plaster off of your foot and you were on a long road to recovery. Your dream had not fully died yet, and you thought of other ways you could reenter the dance world. You could be a choreographer, direct a ballet, or be a stage manager. None of these options felt right for you, so you kept looking.

You often walked with Alastor to his job and went to some stores. Then you would go home to be with his mother for the day. Cook, clean, listen to music, whatever she wanted to do. Then you would go meet Alastor outside the radio station, and walk home together.

Somedays this was just too much to bear, and you would end up in bed with as many pillows stacked under your foot as you could have. Those days Alastor worried, but as time wore on those days were few and far between.

As a few months passed since your injury you thought more about getting a job. Even just a couple days of the week out of the house would do you good. Talking to other people and making friends was something you longed for since you left home.

So you spoke to Alastor about getting a job.

"Why, Cher, I make enough money to support us. Stay home be comfortable"

"Al, I want to dance again, maybe not like I was, but I think I want to teach" Your eyes softened as you looked at him. This was not a spur of the moment decision. When he looked into your eyes, he knew you had been thinking about this for a while.

"Do not push yourself too hard, Cher, I couldn't bear to see you get hurt again" He pulled you close and rested his chin on your head.

The next day you went to the nearest dance studio and asked if they would let you teach a class.

~~~

Soon enough you were teaching children how to dance. It gave you hope for the future, however, after one long day at the studio you came into an empty house. No smell of dinner, and Alastor on the couch with his head in his hands.

As you got closer you could hear the silent sobs coming from him.

"She's gone, mon cherie, she's gone"

He never gave you the full details but you knew for the past few weeks she had been extremely ill. Everyday you left for work, you would ask her if she needed you to stay. She always smiled and told you to go.

The next few months were ones of extreme mourning. Alastor dragged himself out of bed for work, used all his energy there, and then came home to collapse in bed.

Although you might say that you weren't helpful, Alastor called you the light in his darkest days.That the one good thing that happened in his life, saved him. You saved him.

Unfortunately, the killing that had miraculously stopped a year prior had mysteriously started again. This put you on edge, but as more time went on and more people went missing, Alastor got better. Although to you it was coincidence it was in fact correlation.

~~~

"Wait, how did you not know he was a murderer?" Angel Dust interrupted Alastor once more, and Alastors antlers grew longer for a moment then retracted when he looked at your patient face.

"I only saw what I wanted to see, Angel, to me he was perfect in every way. He still is despite, you know, everything"

"I still don't understand why you're here though? I mean you taught kids to dance, here that makes you practically a saint" Again a small laugh emanated for your lips.

"That's coming, Angel, just listen"

~~~

One day Alastor was waiting for you to come home. He was going to surprise you by going to the new upscale fancy restaurant in town. However, just before he went out to look for you, a police-man knocked on the door.

On your way home a car had struck you. Either you hadn't seen it or you froze, but the car had hit you and you died on impact. Alastor didn't quite believe what he was hearing and collapsed.

~~~

However, you were greeted at the pearly gates. That's where you waited for your love to come and find you. When you looked in the mirror you saw your Odette costume. A beautiful tutu and white pointe shoes. Not only that but a gorgeous pair of white wings had sprouted from your back. Once this would have made your heart swell with happiness. However, you couldn’t enjoy it without Alastor by your side. 

After many years you were finally informed of his whereabouts.

He went a little crazy after you died. He killed more and more. He made more mistakes and got even sloppier. Until the fateful day of his death. He died a couple of years after you. Bullet to the head from a hunter that mistook him for a deer.

The day of his death, he was put in Hell. No second thoughts about it. He had killed many, and would kill many more to gain power in Hell. Somehow when he arrived he could feel you weren't there. He knew deep down you didn't deserve to be there rotting in Hell with him.

You argued with the angel council.

"It must be a mistake. He had only ever been good to me, and to his mother. Please, why is he down there"

They had told me what he'd done. What he'd done before he met you, while he knew you, after you had died, and how he had died. In that moment, you forgave him. Not a moment of doubt crossed your mind.

The council was horrified. You were put on trial. They even waited. Try to see if you would change your mind. Come to your senses. See the light again.

You were cast out. You were no longer naive. You were no longer innocent. You were fully aware the man you loved was a monster. Yet you wanted to be with him anyway.

Casting you out was a curse, the worst form of punishment.

To you, it was a miracle. You would get to see him again. 

[skellyflowers]

Longing

Sleep Token x reader

Masterlist

I’m not sure what time it is. All I know is that it is dark outside and the only light in the bedroom is coming from the moon. I love the manor but it gets lonely when the boys are gone. I know their worship of Sleep is important and I wouldn’t get in their way, but I still miss them.

I open my eyes when I hear the bedroom door open. It's Vessel! That means everyone is home! As soon as he realizes that I'm awake he is right by my side.

“Hello Love” he whispers “Sorry we woke you up.”

“No, no, no  it’s ok ” I assured him “you didn’t wake me up.” I reach up to touch his masked face. He leans into my hand and I give him a little smile.

‘’Where are the others?” I ask.

“They'll be here soon, Love.” Vessel says and kisses my palm. “May I lay with you?”

I wordlessly threw the blanket off me so he could get under it with me. I know Vessel doesn’t like to look too eager but I saw the tiny smile he gave me. He gets into bed and wraps himself around me with his face in my neck. I pull one of my legs around his waist and manage to get an arm around his shoulder.

“I’m sorry we left you for so long.” Vessel mumbled into my neck.

“I’m not mad at you. I understand your responsibilities.”

“But you haven’t been claimed yet. I don’t want you to be alone when you do.”

“Vessi, I’ll be ok. I'm not afraid,  I'm ready.”

He stays quiet after that but he does hold me even closer somehow. I just want to enjoy this moment and he lets me. I know how protective Vessel is and how helpless he feels about not being able to help when it comes to Sleep and Her will. But I know we will be ok. I have been waiting for this for a while.

Vessel has been very clingy for the past few days, IV warned me this would happen. It started when I told him I haven’t had any dreams recently. He said that it is the first sign that Sleep will be coming to claim me as Her newest Vessel. Vessel told me that they all went through the same process. Phase 1 no dreams, phase 2 restlessness and a possible fever and phase 3 is extreme exhaustion and being claimed by Sleep. Only II and III got a fever and only IV got muscle cramps. So I guess that the second phase can be unique for individuals.

I am suddenly very tired. Maybe it is because I know all the boys are home. Or it could be because of Sleep getting closer. Either way I just want to get more comfortable and spend time with my boys. I don’t know if I can stay awake long enough to greet them as they come to bed. I'll have to make it up to the others in the morning. If I can get out of the bottom of the cuddle pile I know I will be at the bottom of, I’ll make breakfast.

[dandelions-143]

Decode (Happy Ending) part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Masterlist

Pairing: non idol Minho x f!reader x non idol Jisung

Wk: 2223k

Warnings: none really, kind of ends up fluffy and sweet.

Summary: Y/n and Minho have been trying to get Jisung back into their lives for months now. One day Jisung decides to hear them out but, these two not only apologize to him.. they confess their feelings and intentions for him…

A/n: I kind of feel like this may have been a bit of a flop… I kind of rushed this one. I didn’t want to keep dragging this series out so I decided to end it simple and sweet but, I hope you enjoy, darlings 🖤let me know what you think in the comments.

It had been months since you had seen jisung in person. You never let a day go by without texting him a few times or calling him. At first your texts and calls went unanswered but, slowly he began to reply with one or two words then he began to answer your calls.

Those calls never lasted long. It was usually you begging to see him so you could talk in person and Jisung would just flat out tell you no or tell you to stop calling him. You never stopped.

Then one day something shifted and instead of shutting you down he actually held a conversation with you. He still didn’t want to see you but, he allowed you to ask him how he was and he told you. He even asked you the same.

You felt like he had to miss you as well and maybe.. just maybe Jisung would be able to forgive you and let you back in.

The phone calls continued, growing in length and detail. Jisung even began to crack jokes here and there with you but, he still wouldn’t allow you to come see him. You would take whatever you could get at this point.

As for Minho he was convinced that their friendship was over. He felt that Jisung would never allow him back into his life.

You and Minho stayed close throughout all of this. You still had feelings for Minho but, you two kept it strictly platonic. Jisung was the most important thing to you two now.

—————

You were lying on your bed watching the rain come down outside, painting your windows in little rivers of rain water. Your cell phone pressed to your ear, “Um, how’s Minho been?” Jisungs question came out unsure.. almost timid.

You stayed quiet at first, shocked he had even asked about Minho. “Well, he’s okay. He misses you. He misses you so much, Ji.” You bit your bottom lip waiting for him to say anything but, all you heard was his soft steady breathing.

“Can we come see you sometime? To.. talk about things? I know you have refused to speak about what happened but, I think we need to. All three of us.” You closed your eyes willing him to agree to meeting up. It was the only way things would get better.

“Okay.” Jisungs deep voice broke the silence and you instantly sat up, your hair a mess as it fell all around you. “You said yes? Really? Okay!” You didn’t mean to sound so excited but you couldn’t help it. ���When can we meet you and where?” You blurted out. Jisung huffed out a small laugh and you felt your tight chest loosen up just a little.

He was laughing.. you smiled to yourself.

So now.. here you were in Jisungs home, sitting on his black leather sofa, staring wide eyed at him. He sat directly across from you, his hair longer now, darker too. His eyes were those same big doe eyes you loved so much. His golden skin a bit deeper now that it was summer. He was so handsome…Ugh.. you just wanted to reach out and wrap your arms around him.

Minho sat next to you, a few inches of space between you. You could tell Minho was extremely nervous. He kept bouncing his leg and sliding his hands together, leaning forward on his knees then leaning back.

You decided to just go for it. To confess all of your feelings. You and Minho had spoken very openly with one another on what you both felt and what you wanted. So what you were about to say to Jisung was not going to surprise Minho.

“Jisung, we are extremely sorry for what we did to you. That’s what I want to start off with. There is no excuse for how we both acted. And while we have been separated Minho and I have been able to reflect on what we did and how we are feeling. Our true feelings.” You glance over at Minho and his eyes were glued to Jisungs face.

Jisungs eyes were bouncing back and forth between you two. He looked curious and open to listen. when he didn’t respond you went on. “I love you. And yes of course as my best friend but, I love you. I want you.. I know it’s probably way too late now. I just.. I just needed to say this.” Jisungs brown eyes bore into yours. His brows went up a little when he heard your confession.

“And I love you too..” Minhos quiet voice filled the space between you three. Jisungs eyes shifted over to Minho. “I.. I realized I acted the way that I did because I wanted you both.. I wanted Y/n. I wanted you.. you only wanted Y/n. So me being the complete fool that I am I thought I could have you both. I was scared if you two became a couple I would be left out.”

Hearing this Jisung leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Wait.. you wanted me and y/n? What?” You could see Jisung trying to process Minhos words. The man sitting next to you looked at you.. “can you please explain.. I’m horrible with this kind of thing.”

You licked your lips and stood up, walked over to Jisung and knelt down beside him, placing your hands on his right thigh. You looked up at him making sure he held your gaze. “What Minho is trying to say is that he has romantic feelings for you and me. And.. and I have feelings for you both as well and we don’t want to have to choose. We don’t want you to have to choose. Couldn’t we all just be together?”

Jisungs face scrunched up in confusion and he looked over at Minho then back at you. “Wait” he stood up leaving you on the floor and he began to pace around the room. “You two hurt me. You come to apologize and then you confess your feelings?” Only then did Jisung stop in front of Minho looking down at him.

“Yes.. we felt like this would be our only chance.” Minho stood as well and took a step towards Jisung. You stood and slowly walked over to them. “And what do you want to come out of this?” He asked as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to push it off of his forehead.

You and Minho exchanged glances then looked back at Jisung. “Our goal is to only make things right. To be here for you again and to have our best friend back. Whatever happens after that we can think about when and if that time comes.” You said as you laid your hand on his shoulder.

You knew Minho spoke his mind so you weren’t surprised when he said, “but I know Y/n and I would love to be more than friends with you.. one day.” You watched as Minho took Jisungs hands in his. Jisungs eyes held Minhos gaze for a while before he took a few steps back, pulling his hands out of Minhos grasp and shaking your hand off of his shoulder. “I-I just don’t know..”

That’s when Minho broke. His shoulders began to shake as the tears that had been silently welling up in his pretty eyes spilled over. “Ji, please.. I miss you and I just want to be in your life again.. you in mine.” His words were broken with soft sobs. Minho made no move to touch Jisung but you could tell he wanted to.

You noticed Jisung take a tiny step towards Minho, like on instinct he was going to comfort him but, he stopped himself.

“I need time to think.. my head is fucking spinning.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and shook his head a little. “I can’t.. think right now. Can you both leave? Please?” Jisung spoke without looking at you or Minho.

“Yes we will go but, Ji just know that we love you and all we truly want right now is your forgiveness.” You gave him a little smile hoping to reassure him of the truth behind your words. Minho said nothing more and took your hand in his but he kept his red rimmed eyes on Jisung a moment longer before you both left together.

Jisung couldn’t sleep. His mind was constantly thinking about the things you both had said. He knew he was going to forgive you both. Maybe not letting you and Minho back into his life so quickly but, he was ready to be happy again. He also missed you both so much.

But this…

He had always felt deep love for you. It was always more than the love friends had for one another. He never questioned that but, Minho?

Jisung sat up in his bed, the sheets falling away from his bare chest. He rubbed his hands over his tired face, wanting his mind to shut off for now. He desperately wanted to sleep.

“Fuck..” he laid back down closing his eyes willing himself to sleep. His mind instantly went to you. Your pretty face, soft, loving eyes. His mind drifted more, beginning to imagine you holding his hands. You kissing his lips softly. His hands in your hair, on your hips, your thighs.

Then Minho was there. His pale smooth skin stretched over hard muscle. His sharp eyes filled with adoration. Jisungs hands slid over Minhos skin and his arm wrapped around Minhos body, pulling him close. Then you, kissing down Jisung’s jaw, down his neck. Sucking and nipping at the skin there, as Minho leaned in and kissed Jisungs lips deeply.

Just then Jisung sat up abruptly, out of breath and extremely confused. The vision of you and Minho together with him still playing vividly in his mind.

Three weeks had gone by, you and Minho didn’t think you would ever hear from Jisung again. You were leaned up against the counter in the Minho’s kitchen as he flipped pancakes on his stove. He was making you breakfast as he had done for months now, every Sunday morning.

Even though you two kept your relationship strictly friendly you still stayed over on Saturday nights. You two cuddled and talked but, that’s as far as it ever went. That’s as far as it ever would go unless Jisung was there as well.

“Do you think he will ever want us?” Minho asked as he put the pancakes on a plate for each of you and turned off his stove top. His eyes searched yours hoping for a definitive answer. You obviously couldn’t give him that. You walked over to him and slid your hands through his messy bed head, trying to smooth out his hair.“I-“ you started but your phone began to ring in your purse that was left on Minhos couch the night before.

You walked over and picked it up on the third ring. “Hello?” Minho listened as he quietly set the table for you both. “Mhm, we are actually together now. Can you come over to Minho’s place? We’re about to eat breakfast.” Minho walked closer to you, hoping it was who he thought it was. “Yes, okay. See you soon.”

You hung up and turned towards Minho, a soft smile playing at the corners of your mouth. “Ji is coming, can you fix one more pancake?”

By the time Jisung arrived at Minho’s apartment you two had set up the table nicely. With pancakes and some orange juice, also syrup and fruit. When Minho let him in you couldn’t help the big grin that smoothed out across your lips.

Jisung smiled back, “So um, I have stuff to say.” He started but Minho interrupted him, “Here, let’s sit and talk as we eat. I got your favorite fruit here for you.” Jisung nodded and sat down, you and Minho following.

“So I have been thinking.. a lot.. A LOT… about what you two said to me. I honestly thought you two had lost your minds at first.” You began to speak and Jisung held up his hand. “Let me finish.” He picked up a piece of fruit and popped it into his mouth. “But I couldn’t get it out of my head. Y/n it’s no secret I wanted you since I laid eyes on you.”

He turned to Minho, “I have to admit I never saw you as anything but my best friend. But ever since you two confessed it’s like.. it’s like my brain can’t let it go. I keep thinking of how things could have happened between us. My heart pounds a bit when I think of y/n and you, Minho. It’s that same fucking feeling I use to get when I thought of only Y/n.”

Jisung ate a few more pieces of fruit. “And don’t get me started on the filthy thoughts..” he cut himself off when his eyes met Minhos and he turned three shades of red. His round cheeks heating up before he looked down.

You and Minho just sat there, listening. Shocked at what he was saying but staying quiet, it was like you both were afraid you may spook him. Scare him off.

Jisung finally looked up, his eyes moving between you and Minho equally. “What I’m trying to say is.. I think I may have real feelings for you both.. romantic feelings. BUT,” he licked his pink lips, “that doesn’t mean I am ready to have a relationship with the two of you. I’ll need time for that but, I am ready for us to build back our friendships.”

Jisung reached out slowly and took Minhos hand first then yours. He squeezed gently, “I fucking missed you two..”

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[rookfeatherrambles]

Hey Tumblr, its been a hell of a few days for me. For those that don't know, on Sunday (June 2nd), I was in a car accident that really traumatized me, and I don't know if its going to affect me for another week or another 10 years. Details under the cut, as well as pictures of my injuries (no blood but bruises and scrapes, will be tagged appropriately).

My friend came up from Washington state to see me and wanted me to meet her at the hotel she was staying at. No problem. I'd just take an uber, from where I was located it would be an under 10$ trip. The uber gets there, I introduce myself, I place my purse into the car, and as I'm getting in, my earbud falls out and bounces off into who knows where. So I pause, one foot in the vehicle, one foot out, as I'm sort of stooping to look for this missing earbud. (It was important to me, more on that later). The back seat door is still wide open, but then, the driver decides to start driving. My foot is dragged back and twisted, and the rest of my body follows, and I'm screaming as I hit the ground and feel the wheel going over my leg. I think my first thought was that it had been ripped from my body. I was dragged a few feet down the street while passengers screamed to the driver to stop the car, and I don't think I've ever felt that kind of pain before. My throat is raw from screaming and crying. The car stops, people come and the driver tries to control the situation. All I ask through my sobs is 'is my leg still there?' and yes, miraculously, it is still there. I'm offered hands, but I lift myself up under my own power, extremely in shock. I'm not bleeding. Just scraped to hell with a tire track on my skin like a brand and terrified. Other parts of me also were scraped up, but I didn't notice until later. People are talking to me, all I want to do is be with my friend, so I look the driver in the face and tell him to take me to my destination, where I meet up with my friend. I am in shock all night. The driver asked me if I was okay, and upon me saying yeah, fine (I was not fine) he tells me he's not going to report this to Uber because its just a few scrapes. Anyway, I visit with my friend, and under guidence of my great roommate, I go to a walk in clinic and wait for nigh on 4 hours to get my injuries documented and get checked out. The verdict? Whiplash, no broken bones. I ache like I'm 90 but that's to be expected. I'm off work for a week, I'm given a 200$ physiotherapy prescription, but unless I want to pay out of pocket, I need to contact uber and start an insurance claim. I do that. They tell me they're going to put me in touch with an insurer. I don't believe them. I get a consultation with a personal injury lawyer set up for this friday, and now we come to here and now. I need headphones to cope with sensory hell outside of my apartment, and they were not on me when I left, so they're long gone. 180$ earbuds. Truthfully, I have this gut feeling that Uber is going to do their best to discredit me and what happened, just like that driver. I can't get into a car now without remembering that agony of my leg being crushed under the wheel, and when I'm in any vehicle now, I'm plagued by panic and horrid images of gruesome demise. I genuinely think I might have PTSD, though I'll be looking into a formal diagnosis when i can get to it. When I can AFFORD it. I hate to do this so soon after asking about my back, but I'm out of work for I don't know how long now, I don't know how many physio appointments or THERAPY appointments i will need to get over this. I need to recoup my headphones, I need to get groceries delivered now (which is really pricy), I need to keep myself afloat until Uber decides to (or decides not to) make amends. I don't even know if they fired the driver. I just want to feel safe and I just want something done. Anyway, if you can donate, please do. I know I'm just the silly AU person (one of many) but I have to ask. I have no other choice. I'm just sorry I don't have anything to give in return. Paypal.me/xcannibal Proof of injuries below.