#out smarting friends
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mental-health-advice · 2 years ago
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Submission about grades
I'm stupid, I would've gotten 3/4 questions on a AP Physics 1 HW wrong if my friend hadn't helped me. I'm a so called GT/AP student, so smart and skilled and molded from elementary school. I'm not worth anything if I can't good great grades and keep up with/outperform my friends.
I'm not suicidal but I say things like I want to kill myself because I think the shock of such an awful statement takes the stress off. Like you just need to scream and get everything out and such a serious statement kinda snaps you out of it.
I'm probably a horrible person for trivializing suicide but I can't help but use it for it's own purposes
Hey there,
Even though I don’t personally know you I do not think you are stupid at all for feeling as though you need to get good grades as that’s what’s expected of you or what you expect of yourself. Almost like without good grades or getting grades that are better than your friends then you are nothing.
In instances like this I feel as though it’s really important to take a step back and just try to enjoy your surroundings. Like what’s happening around you, what can you see, hear or smell. Go for a walk and take note of what other people are doing, sit down on a public bench and just people watch or watch the world around you for a little while. By doing this you are not only giving yourself a break from the stresses of study and grades, but you are enabling yourself the opportunity to begin to enjoy life again just like it should be.
So, experiment with different things. Discover what your likes and dislikes are, what interests you in life. Hang out with friends socially, try not to talk about grades, just have some fun.
The point is to show you that there is more to like about yourself than just your education and your grades. Yes these things are important, but so to are life experiences and self-care. Just something to think about.
In terms of your use of saying things like “I want to kill myself” when you do not get the grades you feel like you should���ve received or gotten, this sounds like it’s just become habit for you as you may feel as though you have let yourself down and are not good or smart enough. This is why I feel it’s important to go back to the basics and just take a break now and again and just focus on something entirely different than your studies, try to find the enjoyment in life again if that makes sense.
If you are wanting to try to not say things like you want to kill yourself in times where you feel your grades aren’t good enough, then try to just take a breath and stop yourself before speaking. Try to remind yourself that you tried your very best and that yes, you wish you had done better, but you are still good enough as a person and are very deserving of being alive. And I know that this won’t be easy at all given that those words are engrained in you but with practice and taking each day as they come you will be able to have a better outlook on life.
I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!
I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!
Take care,
Lauren
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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frascospecimen · 9 months ago
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Please hold transgender women dear in your heart this international women’s day. Love and respect the trans women around you please.
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bet-on-me-13 · 6 months ago
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It's a Deal.
So! Steph is in a bit of a Bind. Literally.
Her Father had just discovered that she was the Vigilante who kept ruining his Plans, and decided to Deal with her. So he tied her up at a Bomb Site for one of his Plans and left her to die there.
No matter how much she struggled, she couldn't escape the Ropes, and time was running out. If only she had managed to get that last message out to Batman in time, maybe he would have come to rescue her.
The Timer had nearly reached Zero, when all of a sudden Time Stopped. The Ropes around her fell away, and a guy walked up to her as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Hey, you seem to be in a bit of a bind."
"Not so much anymore, was that you?"
"Yeah, bit of a Free Sample. See, I'm in a bit of a bind as well. I made a Deal with these floating Eyeballs, and long story short in order to keep my town safe I need to take the Soul of an Innocent person."
"And is that where I come in?"
"Yup, Basically I save your life, help you out with whatever you want, and you give me the rights to your Soul."
"What if I just walk away while time is stopped?"
"The building is Locked down tight, and I can't actually hold Time stopped for too long either way, it's sort of a new power to me. Without my help you wouldn't get out in time."
"So it's sell my soul or die?"
"Trust me,I don't like it either, but it's what I have to do."
"You know what, sure. You help me escape, help me take down The Cluemaster, and I'll give you my Soul."
"Then it's a Deal."
"I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
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starkspi · 27 days ago
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From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)
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fuzzyhairedfreak · 10 months ago
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um uh uh um. so. did anyone else used to follow Nate Stevenson's D&D campaign drawings back in the day or-
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drbtinglecannon · 2 years ago
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Everyone enjoy this pic of our new cat, Chester. The thousand-yard stare and extremely mushed face really make it an instant classic
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unpersoniverse · 2 months ago
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch ���#my art
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soupysundae · 6 months ago
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🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#sha hualing#mobei jun#shang qinghua#bingqiu#scumbag self saving system#scum villian self saving system#svsss#svsss fanart#myart#soupysundaeart#svsssaction#i finally have the opportunity to rant about my thought process and a few of the details but hey#hi if u saw this first on insta and on twitter#but first of all#those border things are specifically zhuzhi-lang’s snakes cute tongue and all was poking out but it doesnt even matter cause theyre covered#almost all texts were handwritten#the toucan touch was a last minute addition as my friends were somewhat with me halfway through making this drawing#“haha there’s two cans on vc because he’s sharing screen of its progress” and then they send multiple toucan pics on the gc#pelt them with rocks#if you think this formating seems somewhat familiar its because i was inspired by a tgcf magazine#orginally the oval at the top right was supposed to be a portion for sqq’s “reaction” to luo binghe coming 2 years earlier#the number 24? my favorite number. no it doesn’t align with the chapter number luo binghe comes back in the novel#the repetition of “next” was accidental. i repeated next twice at first and i said might as well take it a step further and add another one#then the mourning mourning blah text was just to fill up the space#i am so incredibly smart (never)#this binghe is somewhat smaller than the insta and twit post cause i just realized he kinda bothered me so#sucks cause i spotted the error hours later the art posts and it was too late to repost again#but its ok im fine with it (im not)
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ew-selfish-art · 1 year ago
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Dpxdc Au - Tim and Danny are Twins, have been through all the introductions and after a few years decide to have The Audacity. 
At some point it hits the two of them, that they really do act alike sometimes. Like, mannerisms and small detail micro expressions, the whole nine, so Danny and Tim decide to take advantage of this.
Parent trap style swapping but all within the same household, they cut their hair and swap clothes, and get in a few practice runs around the halls of Wayne Manor. No one in the family catches them through at least 3 family dinners, so they go for the larger gambit. 
Tim wants to go to high school for a bit and get back into skate boarding with low stakes- Thats what he tells Danny at least, he really wants to spend the time dismantling the GIW from the epicenter in Amity Park. It works out that Tim accomplishes this in record time (explosives didn’t require ethics in his opinion) and does actually get to enjoy his hobbies again for a bit. 
Danny wants to tell off the WE board members and get some proper Red Robin training so he’s not so dependent on his powers when facing human enemies (they were squishier than ghosts, restraint was key)- That’s what he tells Tim when the reality is he’s going to lead a hostile takeover of DalvCo. and well, yeah, actually get some training in. 
No one catches on except for Kon. 
After they’ve swapped back and their missions are debriefed, Tim asks him why he never fell for it? Simply put: “Uh, dude. Your twin doesn’t have a heartbeat half the time, it was pretty easy to tell.” 
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abandonedart · 3 months ago
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idea by my friend art by me
original
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ssruis · 2 months ago
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Good eye!
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hajimedics · 4 months ago
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more world grand prix stuff because I'm sick in the head
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beneathsilverstars · 2 months ago
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the dissociaterrrr
(They're good enough at Tetris that a couple dollars in quarters will last them a decent amount of time, but sometimes they splurge and get the $12 all-you-can-play pass. The album they're listening to is harsh noise!)
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lotus-pear · 10 months ago
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bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.
#i hate when ppl make him out to be a sadistic villain with no remorse. like did we read the same manga 💀#but at the same time he is NOT crying abt all the ppl he sent to the grave. he sleeps just fine at night knowing he committed atrocities#yes he feels remorse? but he isn't like kunikida to weep at someone's grave for failing to save them#and then we have his emotions themselves#dazai isn't emotionless. far from it. he has difficulty expressing affection but yk he finds someone endearing when he trusts them#trust is very important to dazai and is one of the aspects of human emotion that he can fully grasp#but like everything else is in a hazy gray area that he does not feel like exploring. he feels alienated from his humanity bc of this#AUUUGHH can someone help me with character analysis PLEASE#I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS MF UNTIL RECENTLY SO I MISSED OUT ON A LOT OF IMPORTANT DETAILS#see i would go and reread a few light novels but like i don't have time for that#and this is for dazai specifically. i am very well versed on his relationships w other charcaters#but just like asigiri himself said: it's very difficult to write dazai and write him WELL#so yeaaa i have a lot of smart ppl following me pls help#bsd#ALSO MY FRIEND STILL HAS NO LONGER HUMAN UUUUGHHHHHH I NEED THAT BACK BC I TABBED IT A SHIT TON#FOR LIKE CONNECTIONS TO YOZO AND BSD DAZAI AND WHERE ASIGIRI DREW INSPIRATION FROM YOZOS CHARACTER FOR DAZAI#THAT WOULD BE SUCH A VALUABLE FUCKING RESOURCE BC I DID SOME ANNOTATIONS IN THEM TOO BUT MY BOOK IS ANOTHER FUCKING STATE#I HATE IT HERE FML
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confused-wanderer · 1 year ago
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Kid flash and robin challenge them saying they’re better friends and therefore a better dynamic.
Barry and batman’s overly competitive nature has kicked in and now they’re all in danger
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