#out of his character tag

[getvalentined]

Having a long chat with a couple friends about the dichotomy between two major deaths in FF7, both of which are technically assisted suicides, and what they mean for the characters involved.

Aerith allowed herself to be killed in the City of the Ancients in order to petition the Planet to activate Holy directly, because being half human rendered her incapable of speaking to the Planet directly. She didn't do anything wrong and she's given her all to do this any other way, but the flaw is in her blood. She can't change it. Her powers are very limited, she can't activate Holy on her own and she can't ask Gaia to do it for her because Gaia can't hear her—so in the City of the Ancients, she realizes that the only way she can save everyone is to die.

Particularly relevant to this discussion is that her first choice appears to be Cloud, who raises his sword over his head to strike her down because of Sephiroth's control over him, but is able to hold back. He's able to stop himself, to back off, to refuse to be responsible for her death. Sephiroth was going to let him do it, and when he manages to hold off, that's when Sephiroth literally jumps in to do it himself. Aerith was going to let Cloud kill her, and when he didn't, she let Sephiroth do it instead.

Important to remember here is that Aerith is a healer. Inherently. We know this from how she works in battle and the fact that she's able to grow flowers in the tainted soil of Midgar. She almost certainly could have saved herself, but she chose not to—even though she didn't want to die, she had always intended to come back, but finally realized that wasn't an option if she wanted to save everyone else.

Aerith's death was inherently and undeniably selfless, and that's the real tragedy of it: she wanted desperately to rely on others, but she couldn't. No matter how much they loved her, the only way that she could keep them safe was through her own death, regardless of how much she wanted to stay.

Aerith's death was an assisted suicide born from selflessness.

In contrast, Angeal demands assistance in his own suicide in order to rid the world of monsters, in order to support his own personal beliefs on what constitutes "suffering" and what honor really is. Angeal dies because he can't bear to live as he is any longer, he can't stand that the facade of an honorable and selfless hero that he spent his entire life building up was torn down—and not even by his own actions, not even because he slipped up, but because of what he is. It's in his blood. He can't change it.

Angeal appears to have chosen Zack to kill him because he thought he could get Zack on his "side," he could convince him that this was the only way. He believed he could convince him that this was the right thing to do. He couldn't, and Zack did everything he could to hold back, desperate to not be the one responsible for his death, but Angeal gave him no choice. Angeal forced him, not through some psychic control or mental manipulation, but by all but literally backing him into a wall and making it a matter of Zack losing his life or taking Angeal's.

Important to remember here is that Hollander states Angeal has full control over the diffusion of his cells, he can push and pull, he can distribute and reunite; if he can pull his cells back into himself, this means that Angeal could "turn off" his own degradation. He almost certainly could have saved himself, but he chose not to—in the end, Angeal appears to succumb not only to his injuries, but to a sudden and accelerated manifestation of degradation. He made sure that he was going to die, because that was the only way to stop being a monster.

Angeal's death was inherently and undeniably selfish, and that's the real tragedy of it: no matter how loved he was, no matter how hard the people around him tried to save him, the only way he could retain his flawed sense of honor and thereby his feelings of self-worth were through his death.

The concept of agency between these two characters and their respective deaths is super interesting to me. In Aerith's selfless death, Cloud was able to retain his agency, he was able to stop himself; in Angeal's selfish death, Zack was denied the right to his own, and was forced to help Angeal reach his goal. I don't think this is necessarily indicative of the difference between Cloud and Zack as characters so much as the difference in circumstances: Cloud had his friends with him and so succeeded in staying his hand, whereas Zack was entirely his own and thus he failed. It really drives home the core theme of FF7 being the importance of the people you love and the people that love you.

I don't really have a way to end this, it's mostly navel-gazing and ruminating, but it's so...interesting. It's such a dichotomy, such a juxtaposition. Aerith's death was selfless, and through it she saved the world by being where she was needed, by asking for help from the Planet itself; Angeal's death was selfish, and through it he condemned the world to Sephiroth's eventual wrath, by not being where he was needed, by refusing to trust the people who loved him to love him regardless of what he was. Tragic in every sense of the word.

[noodles-and-tea]

Just some more thoughts on that jayvik dbh au

[hinamie]

happy gojoday to all who celebrate

[tossawary]

This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

[cup-o-stars]

Happy B-Day to the Corasante!! ❤🕯🎂🕯❤

(Featuring way too many drawings)

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[datcravat]

It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!

[egophiliac]

Your first initial impressions of any Twst character vs your current feelings about them?

honestly, my perception of pretty much every character went through some metamorphosis of "this guy looks like a jerk" to "oh, he's a stupid jerk? now hold on." it's all about that balancing act between a dark brooding asshole and a dark brooding asshole who is also totally ridiculous, and it really does make ALL the difference.

perhaps most ironically, I've mentioned before that I was absolutely not into the Diasomnias at first, because the impression the website gave pre-release was somehow even less favorable than for everyone else and I was mad at Lilia for getting my hopes up for a token girl). and then we got their stories and, well, I kind of just haven't stopped thinking about them since. 🤷

also, I went in thinking that Crowley was going to be. y'know. competent at his job. a helpful guide. a mysterious yet caring mentor figure, a fitting leader for this band of delicate young magic waifs with their fancy little magic outfits and their perfect, perfect hair. I've never been so glad to be wrong.

[phewgitoid]

someone sedate me

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[bungobble-my-balls]

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

[chalkrub]

new guyyy whom i love from a design trade

he's a demigod cimera knight who was brutally defeated and then spared by a tyrant queen, with the caveat that she cut off his goat head and uses it as a hostage to keep him loyal to her. unfortunate but what are you gonna do

[hinamie]

i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be

[cainternn]

9 to 5 core

[off-mozzarella]

(From the body swap AU)

Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3

I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!