#our friendship will never be the same again

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

So... I see this a decade after i decided to simply... Stop instigating conversations because i felt like im simply burdening others with my presence and that they actually felt annoyed having to hear from me and wished i wouldnt send messages.

The thing is that none of them ever approached me afterwards. When we saw each other after a while we would be ecstatic but there was a wall between us already and i dont know if its simply life going on and us being very different than back then, or that they truly didnt see me the same as i saw them (as my besties).

One time i met one of them (this one specifically was my best friend from first grade until twelve basically) on the street and i see that she's married and walking with her husband. Turns out the wedding was that sunday and i wasnt even notified of it happening or of the engagement. I wasnt mad about not being invited, but i was hurt for not even being notified! She then turned to her husband and said that im a friend of her from high school.

Its been a decade from high school so i can see why she said that, but that hurt me so badly that the moment i waved them goodbye and they disappeared around a corner, i collapsed and just sobbed. I was so heartbroken. It seemed that i was the only one who still thought of her as my old school's bestie or had thought of including her in any future milestones simply because she was so important to me.

So i dont know how i feel about this post. I understand where you guys are coming from and its in good intentions, but the main issue is that many kids who become the sole instigators were never shown that they can be vulnerable in front of their friends about this matter. It felt like its your duty and how you contribute to the group. And when it became harder and harder, the friends never questioned why you pulled away or asked for your wellbeing. It turned into a situation when you feel more like a nuisance than a leader.

Fortunately, i have now friends who instigate so much more than me and i keep telling them how i appreciate it and apologise for how terrible i am at texting back and that its never because i dont want them to text me. Its simply because texting or answering messages had become so hard for me and so mentally taxing i sometimes shut down when i see messages i need to reply to.

So rambling aside, as much as i appreciate your sentiment, i think a different approach would be helpful.

My approach (which is not better or worse, just a different approach) is to get comfortable with a 'friends for one day' reality. I go so many times to so many places and meet so many amazing people, we always say we'll contact one another and keep in touch and then never contact one another again, and that's alright.

You have to be comfortable with being friends without focusing on the 'keeping the friendship going' let people come and go. Those who truly want to stick around will stick around, and they usually have a much deeper connection with you that isnt dependant on who instigates the conversations.

My friends are those that mostly text in memes and reels since we dont see each other often. And i do the same in return. Its easier and relays so much more. We have proper conversations here and there, but our actual interactions happen physically. And they instigate meetups much more than i do and i always make sure that they know that i appreciate it. One of my friends and i also have some differences in opinions, so we have some long discussions.

I also have a friend who i dont text to at all but invites me to shabbat meals once in a while and i come over and its like no time had passed. I invite her back for bbq or shabbat as well, but thats also once in a blue moon.

Another friend is across the ocean so its mostly photos and small comments and talks about our lives and since the war began, she keeps checking if im alive and well.

Another friend is also across the ocean and we mostly speak about our realities of being jews or squeal over her precious daughter or make plans for when she finally comes to Israel.

So my friends arent part of one group but many branches of different aspects of my life. I would say i have around seven/eight of them that arent my current co workers (work friendship is also temporary and i accept that fully and enjoy our time together) and im truly blessed because i had let go of the desperate need to keep my friends together.

So please dont call us a bitch for not willing to talk about it. And we're certainly not mini community leaders, we're just people who are friends with those that never cared about reaching out first or affirming our friendship in any kind of way. Its not fair to put the expectations of reaching out onto the one who constantly did that. Friends who truly want to keep up a friendship will attempt to do so when they see that the other side isnt as present as previously.

Sorry im all over the place, im on my phone and its harder to articulate on it

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[candyheartedchy]

Saw a post talking about this, but I didn’t want to reblog and ramble in the tags of said post, so I’m bring it up here about the whole situation when it comes to people messaging first or not when it comes to their friends.

I struggle a lot with anxiety and constantly worrying that I’m bothering people when I reach out to talk first that 97% of the time I end up not messaging people at all. I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to this, and getting better, when it comes to sending the first message because I want to let folks know that I do genuinely enjoy our conversations and want to be friends with them. But because of my past situations I end up falling back into the habit of isolating myself because I’m familiar with doing it to cope.

In a way I want to let folks know that when they message me first, I’m always excited to hear from them! And also to reassure anyone that may worry about bothering me. I promise y’all aren’t. There will be times that my text pattern might be different in tone, but that’s just me being tired and awkward.

Heck I’m always surprise when anyone really wants to talk to me in general because I usually get ignored irl. And if I’m being honest, I see a lot of you as my friends, but I’m always nervous to bring up the title because I’m not sure if it’s just one sided or I’m just projecting out of loneliness. So whenever someone says we’re friends I get caught off guard because I haven’t had any in so long.

Basically this is just me throwing in my two cents about people who try to test their friendship on how much people really care or not when it comes to who’s messaging first. I do agree that both parties should try to reach out to each other as much as they can to let each other know they do care. But I also want to bring up that a lot of times most of us struggle with reaching out due to trauma that relates to past friendships not going well and worrying about having those same experiences again. But also lot of folks are afraid to reach out first because they don’t want to embarrass themselves when it comes to making friends or losing that chance because they never had the experience of having a friend before. And I’m saying this from my own experience.

In the end I think if you really care about your friends, just communicate. And reassure the ones that reach out first that even though you struggle with talking, you still appreciate them and also just remind them that you like them because they worry about bothering you too. Because most of us don’t have any friends irl and our online friends are all we have. So even when others try to say that online friendships don’t count, they are missing the whole point of what friendships really is.

[legendary-69420]

☆o( "He Should Slow Down 🥺" — The F1 Driver Group Chat Chronicles )o☆ Genre: Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Lighthearted F1 Fanfic Warnings: none I guess

a/n : This is part 6 of the series (You can also read it without reading any previous part). This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it. _________________________________________________ (for context Mark has starred in a short film where he has played the part of a menacing psycho killer)

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "I Can't Lose Him 😭😭😭" 🏎️

[10:00 AM]

Lando: OKAY. I’M SAYING IT. THIS IS UNFAIR. Yuki: Nah bc HOW did he do that. Carlos: This man is a menace. Max: “This man has unreal power.” Oscar: I’m watching it again. Lando: SAME. Carlos: SAME. Yuki: 6th rewatch, let’s go. Max: I can’t believe that’s MARK. OUR MARK. Lando: OUR????? Yuki: YOUR?????? Max: I MEANT THAT AS A GROUP THING. Carlos: He’s not YOURS, bro.

[10:10 AM]

Oscar: But nah, let's be real. Oscar: That solo shot of him… Carlos: OH WE SAW. Yuki: 👀 Lando: 🔥🔥🔥 Max: I HAD TO PAUSE. Carlos: THE HAIR FLIP. THE MENACING CHUCKLE. THE LOOK IN HIS EYES. Oscar: Why did he lowkey look like he enjoyed being unhinged. Max: Not “lowkey.” He 100% enjoyed it. Yuki: That shirtless scene?? Nah, that scene changed me. Oscar: The world has been permanently altered. Carlos: THIS MAN TURNED GAY WOMEN STRAIGHT AND STRAIGHT MEN GAY. Max: 📢📢📢 Lando: I just know my For You Page is COOKED for the next 3 months. Yuki: Thirst edits incoming. I can feel it.

[10:15 AM]

Lando: MARK. Mark: What. Yuki: EXPLAIN. Carlos: NAH. DROP THE EXPLANATION RN. Max: HOW DARE YOU. Oscar: HOW LONG DID YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET?? Mark: Y’all acting weird again 💀 Lando: OH WE’RE THE WEIRD ONES??? Yuki: YOU'RE A PSYCHO IN THE FILM AND IN REAL LIFE. Max: THE HAIR FLIP, MARK. THE. HAIR. FLIP. Mark: 😂😂😂 Carlos: I HOPE YOU’RE LAUGHING IN HD CAUSE WE ARE NOT. Yuki: Liar. I’m watching it again.

[10:20 AM]

Charles: … Lando: oh. Carlos: OH. Yuki: he’s here. Max: Look who finally decided to join us. Oscar: What’s up, Charles. Carlos: Charles, did you watch it? Charles: ... Charles: No. Lando: LMAO. LIE AGAIN. Max: BRO’S IN HERE QUIETLY STARING AT HIS SCREEN. Oscar: I bet he’s on the spicy scene rn. Lando: THE SPICY SCENE. I KNOW IT. Carlos: Charles, you need help. Charles: I'M NOT WATCHING IT. Yuki: I CAN HEAR THE SCENE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. Mark: Charles, you good? Charles: SHUT UP. Mark: ?? Lando: Bro is FUMING 💀💀💀 Oscar: Man is REWATCHING IT RN AND WE KNOW IT.

[10:30 AM]

Max: “Mark you trying to steal my girl?” Carlos: “Mark you trying to steal MY man?” Yuki: Mark, you trying to steal EVERYONE?? Oscar: Stealing hearts like it’s a hobby. Lando: Nah, Mark woke up and chose violence. Charles: Y’all are so ANNOYING. Lando: OH, WE'RE ANNOYING?? Carlos: Bro, you’ve been on the same 20-second scene for an hour. Max: Every time I refresh my feed, IT’S THE SPICY SCENE. Oscar: IT'S EVERYWHERE. Yuki: Every edit is just that one shot. Carlos: We lost him. He’s gone. Mark: Lost who? Lando: Charles. Yuki: Gone forever. Oscar: Charles Leclerc, 1997-2024, cause of death: thirst trap edits. Max: Rest in peace, king. Charles: BLOCK ME. Mark: Bro, what did I even do?? 💀💀💀

🏎️ Race Day — Post-Race Chaos

[3:00 PM]

Yuki: P3 FOR MARK LET’S GOOO Lando: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Oscar: YOU DID THAT. Max: Look at him. Podium prince. Carlos: Rookie where??? I don’t see one. Lando: BUT WHERE IS HE GOING LMAO. Carlos: BRO JUST FINISHED THE RACE AND SPRINTED AWAY. Yuki: THE MAN DIDN’T EVEN CELEBRATE. Oscar: LITERALLY WENT “GG” AND LEFT. Max: He’s running like the cops are after him. Lando: IM CRYING HE’S TAKING OFF HIS RACE SUIT WHILE WALKING. Yuki: SHIRTLESS MARK RETURNS. Carlos: THE PEOPLE ARE GONNA EAT THIS UP. Max: Nah, bro is smooth with it. Unzipped, tossed his top, and kept moving. Charles: WHERE IS HE GOING. Carlos: TO HIS MOVIE PROMOTION, OBVIOUSLY. Yuki: HE JUST GOT P3 AND NOW HE’S DOING PRESS FOR A MOVIE. Max: "This man never rests." Oscar: "Booked and busy." Lando: MOVIE STAR LIFESTYLE. Carlos: He’s literally switching between “F1 Star” and “Hollywood Star” in 3 minutes. Yuki: Dual threat. Oscar: Name one man smoother than this. Max: I’ll wait. Charles: He should slow down. Lando: AWWWWWWWWWW. Carlos: NAH. Max: THE CONCERN. Yuki: 🥺🥺🥺 Oscar: Let’s frame that. “He should slow down.” Lando: Charles, you’re so soft for him. Charles: SHUT UP.

[3:30 PM]

Mark: What did I miss? Lando: BRO, YOU JUST DID A SPEEDRUN OF "MOST SUCCESSFUL PERSON ALIVE." Carlos: RACE FINISH, MOVIE PROMOTION, AND A THOUSAND THIRST TRAPS. Yuki: Multi-tasking at its finest. Oscar: HOW DO YOU DO IT. Max: Are you secretly five people? Lando: THE SHIRTLESS WALK. THE SMOOTHNESS. THE MOVIE PROMO. WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF. Charles: He should slow down. Mark: What. Lando: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Carlos: GOT HIM. Max: BUSTED. Yuki: "He should slow down" you’re so in love, bro. Mark: 😳 Charles: STOP TALKING.

[4:00 PM]

Carlos: Anyway. Yuki: Anyway. Oscar: Anyways. Max: "He should slow down" will live rent-free in my head forever. Lando: Making it the new chat name, give me a second. 🏎️ Group Chat Name Changed to: "He Should Slow Down 🥺" 🏎️ Charles: I’m leaving this chat. Yuki: You’ll be back. Mark: Always are. Carlos: GOT ���EM. Oscar: ETERNAL.

______________________________________________________________ (If you want to know more about Mark...you can read it here in my story Racing hearts)

[caspiansinclair]

A LIST OF TFC KANDREW QUOTES/CRUMBS (i love them. i probably missed a good amount since this was from a light skimming through):

- to andrew: “you already have kevin”

- “[andrew] said he’d break his fingers if Coach ever made him play with kevin again.” “but he’s playing now?” “only because kevin is. kevin got back on court with a racquet in his right hand, and andrew wasn’t far behind. up until then they were fighting like cats and dogs. now look at them. they’re practically trading friendship bracelets and i couldn’t fit a crowbar between them if it’d save my life.” “but why? andrew hates kevin’s obsession with exy.” “the day they start making sense, let me know. i gave up trying to sort it all out weeks ago. you could ask, but neither of them will answer. but as long as i’m doling out advice? stop staring at kevin so much. you’re making me fear for your life.” “what do you mean?” “andrew is scary territorial over him. he punches me in the first time i said i’d like to get kevin too wasted to be straight.”

- “andrew was only here because kevin day never went anywhere alone.”

- about andrew: “he has only eyes for kevin”

- ‘“look at me,” andrew said. kevin turned a haunted at him… “it’ll be fine,” andrew said. “i promised, didn’t i? don’t you believe me?” it took a while, but at last kevin visibly relaxed. the dead edge melted out of his eyes as he absorbed every ounce of strength andrew could give him. the unwavering trust kevin had in andrew was amazing.”

- about andrew: “kevin needs him right now and that trumps whatever agreement you two had”

- “kevin had andrew to lean on”

- “i hate you.” “you don’t.” “how would you know?” “because if you did, andrew wouldn’t let you anywhere near me.”

- “andrew put his hand to kevin’s back and shoved him into the bedroom” (this one’s here for sillies.)

- “since kevin appears to be in the center of his (andrew’s) strange world”

- “this means andrew is keeping you, same as he kept kevin”

- “you’re the reason kevin’s going to stay with our team. andrew’s got kevin’s back, but you’ve got kevin’s attention. that makes you invaluable to andrew.”

- “kevin had to climb up andrew’s side to get to his feet after downing 13 drinks in an hour and a half”

- “Kevin was standing with Andrew inside the goal line, left hand out so Andrew could tug at his outer glove. Andrew undid the straps and peeled it off, then hooked it under his arm so he could take off Kevin's arm guard. He left Kevin's under-glove on, but unhooked the loop from Kevin's middle finger so he could slide the black cloth to Kevin's wrist. Kevin flexed his fingers slowly, staring at his scars, then turned his hand over and flexed his fingers again”

- “The look on Matt's face said he was just getting started, but Andrew stepped between them before Matt could go after Kevin again. Andrew was smiling and his stance was casual, but Matt knew better than to try his luck against the short psychopath. Matt took a step back, silently conceding the fight, and shot Neil a worried look. Kevin got to his feet behind Andrew and glared at Neil.”

[mithrilhearts]

Mithrilhearts: The Fandom Experience

It's hard to believe that I've been a part of the Tolkien fandom for four years now. Time really does fly when you're having fun, but it has changed (for me) drastically since I first stepped foot into the creating world for Tolkien.

I've tried to engage in other fandoms before this one, with no real luck. But this fandom, Bagginshield, was the first place I felt like I contributed something worthwhile. It was so much fun, and I've made some amazing friends along the way even if some of our fandoms have diverged, leading to other paths, but we still stay in contact. That's been my favorite part.

The friendships.

I won't lie, there have been some mighty frustrations along the way the more I participated. I was new to fandom, I had never experienced "discourse" or "fandom politics”, and I really wish I hadn't. I want to open a dialogue with those who also enjoy [thing] without these things. It's made me want to take a significant step back.

I have learned that I am not a fan of moderating large fandom social groups (i.e. discord servers, or fandom themed blogs), and treating this enjoyment like a regular 9-5 job, where at times my actual job felt more enjoyable.

I feel like I've grown over my time in the fandom, and I want to keep progressing myself, just as I want to fall in love with Tolkien/Bagginshield again - but I don't need to be a part of it always. Thus I am taking a step back in participating. No events, no moderating [big things], and just focusing on what makes me happy.

With that, I'm fully charging towards posting my first Dragon Age fic here very soon! I'm so excited to branch out into other places I love, and hope that some of you are also ready to journey into Thedas! I've loved these games for SO long, and I'm surprised it took me this long to actually make things for it.

I'm applying the same rules for myself when engaging with new fandoms to come: no big social groups, no discourse, just fun. Let's enjoy the fandom(s) together 💖

[hazelrose3637]

This is more for me to track my thoughts on this, but...

A lot of my family and a couple of my friends are insisting that we remain friendly and cordial with any family/friends who are Trump supporters. They think we need to bridge the divide, and we have to be open-minded about it. That not all Trump supporters are bad.

And I just...I know they're not all bad, and that they could do good things. But how do you reconcile that with the fact they chose a literal Nazi, who's admitted he wants to be a dictator?

I always considered myself to be a kind, forgiving person, but this election is really testing me. Where's the line between open-mindedness and complacency? How can you cross a divide when the other side refuses to listen? Or in the more extreme cases, want to make it worse?

I've already cut off family in 2020 when it was clear they not only supported Trump, but also a lot of his ideas regarding immigrants and BLM to name a couple. And now, a friend that has helped me through hard times is a Trump supporter. Not only that, since we live in California, she voted to keep prison slavery.

(Addendum: she thought it wasn't actually slavery cuz the prisoners get paid, but when I explained it was more than that the prisoners are being forced to do these jobs, then she started to get it.)

My sister is also dealing with some friend drama, and I think(?) she's cutting them off. But otherwise, we're the only two considering ending contact with our friends over this. Everyone else I talked to? They say it's best to stay friends with these people:

to close the divide in this country

because they're not that bad

But how much are we supposed to teach them? How much are we supposed to guide them when this is what they knowingly chose? And my Trumpy friend said that God will be with us...but I don't like the idea of just sitting back and waiting for God to do something. And I really don't like the idea of using God as an excuse for either not doing anything or for "forgiving" the other side.

Does the other side understand what they voted for, or how their views affect others? If Trumpians don't think they did anything wrong, then why and how do I forgive them?

How can you give someone a second chance when they don't want it? And if we should be sympathetic/empathetic to them, then why aren't they to us? The Trump supporters aren't trying to learn or listen. And look, I know being patient and open-minded is important, but again, how much am I supposed to be in this situation?

I'm grateful my friend started to listen about the prison slavery. But I also feel like I shouldn't have to explain it to her. And my family wouldn't listen about Trump using the military to attack citizens just for a lousy photo op with an upside-down Bible.

Now, I'm just repeating myself, so I'll end this section here. Hopefully, the update is happier.

TW: US Politics, self-harm, suicide, lots and lots of ranting

I think my friend voted for Trump.

When I asked her who she voted for, she said (and I'm summarizing here) that she has the right to keep her vote to herself and that she'd made the decision over the past few years to keep politics to herself and out of friendships. She does have that right...but I wonder if she said that cuz she knows I hate Trump, and she doesn't want to admit she voted for him?

Besides that, she thinks the media is at fault for making Trump look bad, and she knows that (and I'm directly quoting here) "half the country is taking the news very hard and the other half is celebrating." And the other day, I told her that a couple friends of mine either self-harmed or attempted. Her response?

"And the fact that the media has played it up so much that it would drive anyone to extreme emotional distress or physical harm is inexcusable."

Now, this may just be me being overly sensitive to Trumpian rhetoric, but blaming the media for this? Yes, the media is flawed, but none of them made Trump look bad; he did that on his own. And hearing a blanket blame for media just...it makes me think of Maga supporters going "Fake News!" I don't know if she intended this or not.

And then she ended her message with God is in charge. Which...I'm a Christian witch, so I do believe that, but still, just because God is in charge, doesn't mean this is God's will. And it doesn't mean we can just sit around and expect Him to do everything for us.

I'm just hurt and confused right now. She's helped me through some dark times, but even the thought of her thinking Trump is ok? Or at least thinking it's the media's fault for making him look bad? It sucks. And, I don't know if I can keep being friends with someone who legit doesn't see anything wrong with Trump.

[thedreadvampy]

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

[madam-of-lithuania]

Share a secret you haven’t shared with your mutuals yet then go tag someone and see what tea they have to spill

I'm still sad and miss my current ex friend a lot 😔

[i-could-be-so-much-more]

It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes

[trauma-trove]

Undescribed.

An ancient edit I made over 2 years ago when I was really struggling with a psychotic episode. I never posted it because I could never figure out a coherent ID for it.

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[butchnavi]

one thing about me is I haven't been active in the fandom for years but I still have izzie's monologue where she confronts casey on the tracks memorized by heart and that might just be the gayest thing about me <3

[newtness532]

i might never have another class with all or even any of my friends again and im feeling particularly sad about this

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

god fucking damnit