#other than me getting the fuck out
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im not psychically and spiritually strong enough to withstand the noise of the infamous st patricks day street parties.... its 8pm and im hearing ppl outside now.... its only just begun
#i dont *think* there will be any on my street#since i live on a busy 4 lane stroad. the kind southern ontario is also infamous for#i hate this street i hate the students everywhere#theyre so so so stupid i swear to god#walking in front of traffic daily with nary a look up#on the one hand. i feel like im being cursed to turn conservative from my awful experience living here#but on the other its very gratifying to have ppl who grew up here saying the city wasnt like this 10 even 5 years ago#fucking. conestoga college is the worst. but laurier and uw are no utopia#people are fucking selfish rude entitled and show no regard for others around them#and thats what i have a problem with. idk what the solution is either#other than me getting the fuck out#but ive made it thru 2 years now and im fucking good at this and i like this program and im excited for whats to come#its just the city and the people make it SO HARD to hang on#im didnt feel this bad last year. not by far#if i can find a quiet and bright bachelor apt that would improve my quality of living immeasurably#glub glub
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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my brain latched onto ratio in the span a day or two and i am. struggling with that. have a hsr magma dump about it.
these are in reverse chronological order so that it looks like i get more normal as the post goes on (it doesnt)
#i like these a lot im happy w how they turned out art has been fun lately n im trying to hold onto that feeling n keep it alive#bro my brain wont let me finish the fkn. piece i have that i wanted to get done n post n ive been meaningto revisit my pinned post n redo i#but im stuck in my b#fuck mobile tagging sucks ass fuck this omg#but im stuck in my head w my interests rn n theyre beating my ass im losing so bad damn interests got hands#i jsut remembered i was gonna give these some other bg colors than the usual gray we use for the magma canvases..... orz#honkai star rail#dr ratio#aventurine#problem w me is i neevr remember how i tag things n characters#so i have to check#n apperantly i do tag hsr w hsr in the beginning#hsr dr ratio#hsr aventurine#ratiorine#hsr blade#hsr firefly#hsr luka#welcome to my brain n my ...i forgor yhe word hold up. my .i my my idk process i feel like im losingit#my art#magma#i like the pjs one a lot a lot a lot. .... makes me unwell i need them cozy n happy help me#fuck theu got more shipnames#aventio#hsr golden ratio#theyve been gnawing away at my brain im doing. great
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lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle
#for the love of god someone pls take away my artist privileges#this came to me in a fever dream except i wasn't actually sick just delusional#the pink leather jacket was a gift from kouyou for his sixteenth birthday and he's obliged to wear it everytime he takes the motorcycle out#dazai finds it absolutely fucking hilarious and probably takes blackmail photos except you can't blackmail a bad bitch like chuuya so#every time you open his photos he's probably the only one getting embarrassed bc it's all pics of his partner👹#anyway he looks so bbygirl in pink i wish he changed his outfit for smth other than official art#but alas#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#lotus draws
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[ WIP ]
Bring a goat to a courthouse...
#Can't tell me that the ore snatchers replacing the ghast head with a goat head isn't a threat.#Like c'mon that's the biggest sign of a threat I have ever seen and it's COOL#IMAGINE the implications!! The storyline!#Doc is on his fucking skyblock adventure- comes back more tired and angry than ever -- completely unhinged -- and remembers this.#Next thing we know he fucking SNAPS. He said he didn't want to be a villain this season... Well you're in luck buddy- you're a villain now.#Funniest thing is that he barely did anything. People just keep poking him. And honest to god? Good.#Good that this old man isn't getting isolated from everything else in his swamp 4k blocks away.#He's been more social this season than he's been any other and last season he was NEXT TO SCAR.#Now that he's 4k blocks out everybody seeks him out it's lovely#okay now for the actual tags#docm77#art#hermitcraft#hermitcraft smp#fanart#hermitcraft fanart#hermitblr#hermitcraft s10#artists on tumblr#animation#hermitcraft art#hermitcraft season 10#hc s10#dad kisser doc donnerstag#artist#hermitcraft doc#hc10
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favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this
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#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time#DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions#to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself#like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear ‘suspicious’#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever#also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him he’s feeling something different#in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasn’#even sure if it would work#in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him#and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president#in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. he’s constantly giggling before and after sentences and he’s super eager to just Get The Hel#Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesn’t have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore.#and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin#whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier#normal about this character!#rick and morty#evil morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.
Don't do their work for them.
#red rambles#viva palestina#antizionism#i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites#i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine#as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel#and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT.#i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel#both from the inside and out#and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad#that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice'#if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it.#like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally#are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are#being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now#if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the#fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar#safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to#discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees?#i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i#work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up.#there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue#and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.
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always by your side
#couuugh. whehezze#hold on#project sekai#emu otori#pjsk#prsk#proseka#ok thatsg enough RANK 96 COOOOOGUH WHEEEZE#literlaly cough wheez ei have fucking covid. i wanted to draw something nicer for the event but my hands rlly hrut snd my throat hirts and#i was sticking my head in the freezer in between matches.#omfg i didnt think the end sprint was gonna be so insane i didnt have enough energy. mfers made me spend 700 gems. nene please.#i never wanna open the game agaon.(guy who will open it tomorrow and sunday) 16 MIL POINTS.. pimh was only 9mil. for rank 80smth.#the hatsune miku colorful stage tiering economy is in shambles#'im never doing that again' [will do it again in august]#event was insane. started out ill -> only 1 rate up card -> charger broke -> assignments -> covid on the last day. Be fr#to my beloved sakurako and fixer i wub you. ill try to finish my nice profile but well honk mimimi.#NSIFFLKE. SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAH#this is so lazy but i havent drawn for myself literally in a week. other than doodles i did between matches#actually theyre like little bobblehead emus all over my sketchbooks i should collage them into anpost#idk how people get that subtle gaussian blur on their lines i tried it but it looks so obvious to me here.. maybe bc i used a thick brush..#ok wonderhoy i need to lay down so bad tylenol save me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED MY LOZENGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAAAAAME
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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anyways. i think cassie needs to text tim having a minor meltdown in an ikea restroom because cissie asked her to come shopping for her new apartment with her and then looked at a bed and fluttered her eyelashes and asked if cassie would be down to come over and help her assemble furniture later. and cassie had a moment of butch euphoria so hard she panicked and ran to the restroom instead of actually answering.
tim, uniquely unhelpful: ??? ikea furniture isn't even that durable or heavy. you should take her to an actual home furnishings store and get some solid wood stuff instead of particle board. do you want a gift card i can get you one. there's a furniture outlet 3.6 miles from the ikea where you are. i feel like she'd appreciate an actual hardwood bed more, it can withstand way more of a beating cassie: UOU CANT JUST SAY THOSW WRODS TO ME RIGHT NPW????@?@?@@???@?!??!?!?!?!?!?@?#?#?@?
tim is trying so hard to be helpful via simply stating facts about furniture durability and usefulness. he is not being helpful
#rimi talks#''TIM WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN WITHSTAND A BEATING-''#''???? i just mean it's a lot sturdier than anything you'll get at ikea?? it'll last much longer.''#''OK BUT THE WAY U SAID THAT?!?!!??/1@??!''#''get ur mind out of the gutter cassie'' <- he's going >:3c at his phone#cassie's lovable sidekick has betrayed her. he is not helping#tim&cassie friendship means the world to me. they both have gay freakouts in each others dms.#cassie#cissie#cissiecassie#tim
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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.
The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.
#COCSA ment#CSA ment#This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily#Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that#Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have#An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had#The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't#Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk#I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young#And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet#(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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It is amazing how the "people that love and uplift transwomen" website will instantly fucking maul a transwoman if she even remotely insinuate that using radfem rhetoric harms trans people
#this is about punkitt making a post literally just saying ''you shouldn't treat masculinity as a threat because it harms trans people''#and straight up getting death threats over it#how is it so hard for people to understand that treating masculinity as a threat directly harms transwomen#that it treats transwomen who show any sort of masculinity as a failure#it reminds me of trans people on 4chan because it enables so much self-loathing#you cannot argue ''men/masculinity are inherently evil'' and claim it's different from radfem/TERF rhetoric because you're trans#it just projects unrealistic body standards onto women#many women including cis women have masculine traits. I know women who have stubble and grow shittons of body hair#like—''biological sex'' is NOT a binary it is a social construct just like any other#and also only hyper focusing hate on masculinity because of patriarchy isn't an effective way of addressing patriarchy at all#hating a group of people based on their traits is not the same as being progressive. acknowledging—and more importantly. teaching people—#—and how it gives them certain privileges over others and to call it out and dismantle those systems is so fucking powerful you have no idea#also I'm going to be so for real with you. the vast majority of transmen do NOT have the privilege you think they do#it's the privilege of being able to pass more than anything. which any trans person would know thats really fucking hard!!!#I love rambling in the tags so much it's so great#sorry for this lol#queer discourse#also addendum: when I say 'women' it's all encompassing. if anyone gets pissy at me for saying 'women' and thinking I'm not including —#—transwomen in that then I'm killing you! you are the problem!
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wait i feel like i Need to say something re: the kantbison bondage scene in ep3 part 4
i've been seeing a Lot of people be like "yeah no that scene was really off-putting idk ://"... i think that was the point?
neither of them are actually in the moment. kant is very clearly not enjoying himself At All, and bison is inebriated (and drugged???) past the point of real comprehension.
but that's the thing – that scene isn't about the two of them having sex. it's about them trying to desperately get their hands on what they really want.
the show's established that kant isn't into this stuff in the least (as seen post-fadel's confrontation at the tattoo parlor), but he's willing to suffer through it, to grit his teeth and bear through the quite literal pain. he's willing to do anything, as long as he'll finally be able to get the evidence he needs to be free of these things forever.
on the other hand, we've seen bison state over and over how much he's wanted to do all of this, how he's never been able to find someone to actually hold power over. and now bison – younger brother, "never allowed to make a real decision of his own for even a day in his life" bison – is finally, finally able to take control over someone's life; something that's meaningful, something that matters.
that's exactly why i'd argue that the entire scene isn't meant to be "hot" or "appealing," but rather unsettling and weird (especially with the constant cuts to fadel digging(?) mysteriously in a field, but that's a whole other thing).
TLDR; kantbison's first time may have been passion and lust incarnate, but this one is so far removed from that. because, this time, neither of them actually care about the sex more than about what it means – a means to an end for kant, and a first glimpse at unadulterated power for bison.
#errorkey.exe#the heart killers#kantbison#this is just a mess of words and thoughts but i NEEDED to get it out there#it also became way longer than i meant it to be... i had a lot to say! sue me!#there's so much to discuss and to uncover with this episode#the entire series really#but here's one last thing: i think both of them are fucked up and very much using each other#not that they don't like each other! there's real interest and attraction there but it's just not as strong as they're playing it up to be#kant is far worse ofc considering the drugging and the lying and the blatant ignoring of his own boundaries and the DRUGGING#but – hot take! – bison is also clearly using kant as this stand-in for his ideal life#i don't think really he has feelings for kant as much as he just enjoys the amount of affection he's being showered with bc it's new to him#but yes . they're both just placeholders for one another's real goals i guess?
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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