#orochimaru if he was normal

[fuckmachine42069]

lil tsuna x jiraya x orochimaru action because I believe all their problems would’ve been solved by polyamory

[sannin-three]

I just know that if Dan had lived and he and Tsunade had gotten married, Jiraiya and Orochimaru would be the absolute worst third wheels. Randomly show up on date nights. Always dropping in unannounced. Every time Dan wakes up there's a 50/50 chance he'll find Orochimaru on the couch while Jiraiya raids the fridge and complains that someone already ate all the eggs!

[kakesuki]

Watching Naruto again and seeing how Orochimaru basically manipulated Sasuke and his dreams, made sure to put salt on any and every one of the wounds he could reach, kept blaming him for everything that had happened to him because yes, Sasuke was getting better and he KNEW it and that monster just needed to steal the child's body

Literally watching Anko, Anko who knew well Orochimaru, Anko who knew his mark's effect and how bad it was, ask Hiruzen to put Sasuke in quarantine because like i said, she knew how bad it was; just for him to be like 'nah, let's wait a little'

Like??? Bro literally giving an Uchiha to Oro in a golden plate--

And people still hate on Sasuke for leaving? Like Am I missing something??? Because to me, the boy seemed more like a victim of awful adults than a villain himself

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

i need to use rin for comedy more. "girl who acts like she has a world-ending secret to hide and will go to any lengths to conceal her true identity but isn't like. actually hiding anything" is a really funny character. "they can't find out" find out what!!!!!

[ladysatoru]

no matter how many years pass i can never come to terms with the amount of pain and anguish the konoha mfs put naruto through i wish he blew that shitty place up

[is-dannn]

JOKES ASIDE this is actually sad because I am sure he really just did pick up every summon dog he could until he was on the edge of his chakra resources. Like none of his summons are from breeds meant to fight except for maybe Akino, Uuhei and Bull.

He already had all of his eight dogs while he was tracking Orochimaru and he was ~14 at this point which means he had chosen all his summons while being a literal child. Which also means he acted like a normal child picking random animals on street and taking them home except that he didn’t have parents who are usually against this behaviour :( fuuuck imma cry on this hill

[o4o41]

No, she's an original character.

i swear to god angel shouts "cane!" when this girl — hockey stick, kneepads, sports socks, brash and impulsive behaviour — is pulled underwater? like, every other transcript i can find says she yells "hey", but it really sounds like cane.

(post-post note: yes she DOES say cane)

so..... she's casey? that's totally a nickname for casey right? like i'd been saying beforehand that she was casey because i thought yeah this'd be really cool, but she actually IS casey isn't she???

[usuratongaychi]

sannin sleep hcs:

jiraiya: has to be bear hugging someone to fall asleep. ofc his handsy ass cant fall asleep without smothering one of his teammates. he also snores.

orochimaru: sleeps pretty normally, stays very still. hes the type to put his freezing cold feet on jiraiya to punish him. pretends he doesn’t like the cuddles but does…

tsunade: sleeps pretty wildly. jiraiya would be clinging on to her but she fights in her sleep, and hes definitely been on the receiving end of some nightime knockouts..

tsunade likes sleeping on her own, but i have the hc that if she’s ever upset or stressed, she just kinda grumbles until jiraiya figures out she wants cuddles . she wouldn’t ask for it, he just knows and will let her lay on his chest for as long as she wants.

if tsunade was going to cuddle someone in her sleep, it would be orochimaru

[philosophicalparadox]

Interesting Itachi notes

(And a bit more about his ancestors because it’s relevant)

//Tumblr is letting me edit posts again, so some info has been corrected for//

Alright, well, I did not anticipate my Kisame list to be so popular — apparently some of that was NOT common fandom knowledge lol. So I figure why not do the same with his partner, especially after I’ve done labors of love to find this information over the years lol

Starting with VA’s first, once again the boy gets duped by translators. I will forever not forgive Crispin Freeman for not cutting loose like he usually does (I.e. Alucard from Hellsing) because it would have matched the energy of the way Itachi speaks in Japanese so much better lol. Contrary to English speaking fandom interpretation, Itachi talks in Japanese pretty much exactly the way Sasuke does (sassy, scathingly sarcastic, dramatic), minus the cussing and with a few more odd word choices. Itachi is fond of, not puns, precisely, but using words and phrases that have deliberately obscure or double meanings. Which is terribly ironic because he’s very direct and to-the-point about a lot of things; he does in fact mince his words, but he also doesn’t waste time talking at length unless he needs to explain something, but even then he is usually pretty short and almost, if not actually, rude about it. He also is, true to fandom interpretation, rather philosophical, which gives him a pretty idiosyncratic way of speaking; he’s bordering on rudely casual (with other Akatsuki members) if not outright being a bratty lil shit (Kisame, and when he’s dissing Madara to Sasuke) but he’s also patently well versed. He reminds me the most of Sasuke and Kakashi when he talks if that helps lol it’s so hard to explain

HOWEVER there’s one exception right at the beginning: when Itachi encounters Kakashi during their trip to Konoha, his entire (informal, rude-ish) register changes, and kicks up to a more polite but still familiar one. He essentially talks to Kakashi like he’s an old colleague, which he is, but that’s really the first clue we get about that. Asuma amd Kurenai also get a formal attention, but it’s more distant; I can only imagine Kisame had lots of questions about that after the fact lolll.

In addition to this, Itachi refers to Jiraiya as -sama, the highest order of honorific, which isn’t unusual for Jiraiya, since he’s a Sannin, however, Itachi pointedly is quite rude to and about Orochimaru, and appears to avoid even saying his name, where possible. This may be to avoid the impression of anything like closeness, since dropping an honorific can mean either disrespect or closeness such that it isn’t a requirement.

According to the Hiden and interviews with Kishimoto He’s basically a pseudo-piscivarian, in that he largely prefers to eat vegetables, especially crunchy ones like cabbage and peppers, and actually detests beef and most meat* . That said, we see him eat fish and chicken in canon, so he probably doesn’t mind white meats. Consensus on pork is non existent. He also, yes, prefers sweet foods, but also likes bitter things. His least favorite flavor profiles are Umami/savory (beef, mushrooms), acidic or spicy food and anything oily or fatty. (He shares the latter in common with Sasuke, though he’s the polar opposite in pretty much every other regard.)

His “hobby” according to Kishimoto is visiting traditional tea houses/shops. He really likes tea, and the relaxed atmosphere is soothing to him. Conversely, and unsurprisingly, he doesn’t like visiting bars or other “crowded” places.

Speaking of hobbies and habits, yes, Itachi does like to cook and clean. There’s canon evidence for this, but Kishi also has confirmed it in interviews.

The Itachi Shinden novel implies that he’s at least baseline knowledgeable about traditional medicine. (More on that later) Whether that’s normal-ish knowledge for ninja, an Uchiha thing, or a quirk of his is unclear. Kakashi has similar knowledge, and he’s a total bookworm, so perhaps they are both simply well read lol.

Maybe it’s well known, but I don’t often see people acknowledging that Itachi 1, specializes in gathering Intel, and 2. That he worked closely with Konoha’s intel division consequently. This is acknowledged directly late in the series by Aoba, Itachi’s genin sensei, who also works for Intel under Ibiki.

I’ve mentioned this in another post, but his name has a triple/quadruple meaning— “Itachi” does translate to “weasel”, but it’s also an old catch-all term for any shape-shifting Youkai, though in particular it’s often associated with Tanuki. It’s also a derogatory term for people that are dubiously trustworthy or whose intentions aren’t always clear, as well as a descriptive word whose best English equivalent is the word “skulking”, or moving around like a fox, acting benign or innocent but clearly up to something.

As a related aside, the in-canon reason for his name probably comes from Izuna, in that he was possibly named after him. “Izuna” translates as “stoat/ermine” — like a mini weasel but far more vicious lol. The name Izuna has multiple meanings also, but is a far more common old name because ermines, the winter form of a stoat, were prized for their snow white pelt— consequently, “Izuna” as a descriptor refers to something that’s pure white, or something that’s easily tainted because of its purity (like ermine pelts, which stain easily).** Which gives Madara’s name, meaning “speckled/blotched/piebald/particolour” at the surface and has a double, derogatory meaning of “blemished, scarred, (as by smallpox)”*** some degree of irony lol.

Back to Itachi though —

Let’s talk about his fighting style: there’s no official data about this, but if you watch martial arts enough it’s fairly obvious that Itachi specifically uses a very Aikido inspired style— aikido is a Japanese martial art that began in Korea, and it specializes in non-lethal disarmament by way of holding or locking an opponent into a particular position where they can’t do shit until they exhaust themselves or give up lol. It’s also a defensive style that relies on the opponent doing most of the attacking, with, again, the intent of the Aikido being to arrest their movements or otherwise disarm them principally by using their own attacks/momentum against them, and by feinting dodges to direct their attacks into prime grappling/locking position. Philosophically, Aikido strongly emphasizes non-violence and is more of a self defense art. A classic example of this that he (sort of) uses in canon is when he (as his fake self) locked Kakashi’s clone into a neck hold that forced eye contact — that is based on an actual move in Aikido that is designed to communicate intent and read the opponent’s, but in his case it just happens to work fantastically with his abilities lol. Probably the reason Kishi chose it as the basis of his moveset.

Speaking of abilities, again there’s no official data on it, but from canon interpretation it’s pretty clear that Itachi’s Genjutsu abilities (especially the Tsukiyomi) rely on the opponent seeing him, not the other way around. He can be totally blind (and in the manga at least he mostly is) and his powers still work fine as long as they seek out eye contact with him. Nearest we can tell the base sharingan works in a similar way, but also requires the user to at least be able to see their victims chakra; it can however be used to enhance other genjutsu that doesn’t originate from the Sharingan itself, as evidenced by Sai’s encounter with Sasuke, so 🤷‍♀️. Who knows how it works; I was just thinking about the fact Itachi doesn’t need hand signs to cast a genjutsu even with just his base sharingan active. He could’ve been bluffing Naruto, but if it’s true that the Sharingan can enhance a genjutsu already cast, it would lend itself to explaining that ability. (Or, in HC territory, maybe he’s taught himself to project some of the Sharingan’s power, much like Shisui could.)

Evidence that Itachi’s illness is probably respiratory comes from two things — in the Shinden novel, he uses an herb called Japanese Knotweed in English, which has medicinal uses principally related to the lungs and heart, since it’s a bronchodilator, and two, from the fact that any time a character in Naruto is severely ill they all seem to have respiratory diseases lol. Hayate dying of what looks like tuberculosis, side characters on their sickbeds with coughs, etc. there’s a cultural and industry reason why that’s so — one, lung diseases are ✨dramatic✨ and two, just like how the Victorians romanticized “consumption” (aka, tuberculosis) Japan did something very similar after an outbreak hit Kyoto in the late 1800’s, probably from a different strain brought by Dutch ships. So the image is engrained.

To add a few notes:

* The fact Itachi hates beef and isn’t fond of meat has…potentially interesting, implications. Meat, especially beef,= masculinity in Japan, so being vegetarian has long since been a very UnMasculine thing to do, and therefore is associated with cross dressers and Queer men in Japan. That he also appreciates feminine pastimes like cooking, cleaning, and tea houses (and by extension ceremonies) sets up a bit of a queer code for him lol.

** I’m not done talking about Izuna lol because, as you’d expect, it’s very often a girl name. Because yknow, purity culture stuff. Yeah Japan had it too.

*** a historical note about Madara because I just can’t justify making another list for him, 1. Madara is a common name for calico cats, especially rare male calicos, and 2. It’s not surprising that there’s a ton of correlation between Madara and historical Nobunaga, but I honestly think he got his name partly because of a stand out feature Nobunaga had — he was severely scarred from smallpox as a child. So it’s possible, though there aren’t historical accounts of it, that he might’ve been jeered at with the derogatory form of Madara. Certainly Oda Nobunaga’s clan fucking hated him lol

Anyway, I’m done for now unless I think of something else. Do with this information what you will. 🕊️

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok new incredibly stupid au just dropped:

"Sasuke time travels to the warring states because reasons" fic but like 80% of the plot is the fact that for some reason he's dressed in that one unnecessarily whoreish orochimaru outfit (or at least smthn similar) and Madara, seeing him looking like a little Izuna clone, fucking full body twitches and begins a campaign that basically amounts to "DONT YOU FUCKING DRESS LIKE THAT WHILE LOOKING LIKE MY LITTLE BROTHER!! COVER UP SLUT!!"

Made potentially even worse/funnier due to different modesty standards of the time

Madara would have cared about him to some extent due to his very obvious mystery relationship to him and Izuna, but smthn ab the very specific scenario of "omg I have a secret lost little brother.... but he dresses like a WHORE." has set him off in ways hither to unseen, and he's now oscillating between threatening to gouge out the eyes of anyone who so much glances in Sasuke's direction and, like, threatening to disown Sasuke for his dishonor (he doesn't even want to be part of your family Madara, fuck off!!)

Meanwhile Izuna, after his initial "omg whore !!!!" reaction, is in the bg quietly squinting at Sasuke and scratching at his chin going "hmmm... he kinda pulls it off tho,, and we do look a lot alike,, and it does seem to throw off his enemies sometimes,, and he really does pull it off,,,,,,,,,, and Im like SO much hotter than him,,,,, hmmmmm,, perhaps,,"

Izuna is about to try out a new tactic to throw off his enemies, just don't let Madara know or he'll be weird about it

(Madara is going to have an aneurism)

(Also I'm aware that his outfit isn't even that bad but we're playing it up for comedy here)

Sasuke ends up activley searching for more and more ridiculous outfits solely because it seems to piss Madara off more than anything he could ever do or say for some reason. If Madara just acted like a normal person he'd stop dressing like that in like literally a week, but bc he keeps losing his mind Sasuke is never not fueled with spite to continue

[evilkitten3]

sometimes a family can be a morally bankrupt snake lady, his ex husband who wants to eat him, their son who they encouraged to run away from home so his body could be stolen, several abducted children/science experiments, and karin

Kabuto and Orochimaru are talking about how much Sasuke has matured the same way parents would.

Filler. Sasuke is remembering Itachi while training.

When you leave your son alone for a bit and he learns shit just to kill you.

Parent, I'll show you how heartless I can be.

The baby🥰

I love how the Sandaime says this but also tells Konohamaru snakes are evil.

In the first flashback to the death of Tsunade's brother Oro is so mean but now they look so sad. They also look sad at Dan's death. And we see them ler Anko hang around their lab and touch some things there. They were so nice and good with kids.

They also watched Itachi (?) train and was about to jump in when they thought he might get hurt.

Sasuke looks so done.

If only you knew you'll be widowed (kinda) soon, bby

The whole world is doing shit showing Oro is dead. Anko found this rare type of snake, the clouds were a funny shape, the sunset was blood red, and Itachi sensed something.

Sasuke just got the first bf and is gonna go get the test of the polycule.

Emmmm. Sir-

I'm glad that instead of this [x] [x] we get the SuiSasu date

She's an icon. She's a legend. And she is the moment.

[mixelation]

since jar au is the result of tori freaking out over keizo (the other lab guy) threatening her, i think she comes back from their little "rip open the shinigami" field trip and orochimaru just like. sends her back to work in the lab. with keizo. and does not address the original problem at all. so keizo has cooled down a little but he's still pissed and aggro at her and tori is like "okay well. now i have joint custody of some hokage souls, so--"

i don't think oro has complete control over them but he has banned them from using any type of jutsu or fighting. so tori is like, well they're less useful as body guards than i'd like, but who is the scariest to have just stand behind me to prevent keizo from stabbing me or something? and it's like

minato - deadliest ninja alive. however looks like he works in customer service

hiruzen - the professor, possibly world's broadest knowledge of ninjutsu. looks like a tiny old grandpa

tobirama - actually probably the scariest because since revival, he has perpetually looked like he's about to murder everyone in the room. however what if he uses his scary face to criticize her pipetting technique AND keizo threatens to kill her. she'll cry* *she's probably beyond crying because people are mean to her at this point. but she doesn't know that

hashirama - face like a puppy but is also a giant man in old armor. probably not horrible to talk to all day. she picks him

so she rolls into lab with hashirama at her heels and keizo is like "what the fuck" and hashirama immediately touches something he shouldn't and goes "YO WHAT'S THIS :D"

tori: oh my god you're going to cause a horrible lab accident tori: tori: (lights an alcohol lamp) here try throwing this at that guy

anyway it turns out that the hokage cannot intentionally take actions that harm others ("fighting") but they CAN do what they think is just playfully tossing a small fire across a lab!

minato: it exploded? orochimaru: that's why my lab is on fire? tobirama: BUT YOU KNOW HOW LAMPS WORK? WHY WOULD YOU THINK-- hashirama: IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A NORMAL LAMP, OKAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE A WEIRD CANDLE. also i have no idea what a 'molotov' is tori: next time you should yell 'great fireball jutsu' first--

none of the hokage think she's funny but orochimaru laughs

[animeyanderelover]

Can you rank who would be able to handle a mad scientist sorta darling, examples are like (is a genius and invents jutsu's that are so strong and some that even the knowledge of them will have someone not be able to use their jutsu, will probably be seen sometimes with like half a forest exploded because she was doing experiment or with a lab on fire, if someone wants to kill her she'd be excited because it means she'll have people coming to her so she can use her seals and see their effectiveness, would beckon them to try new methods and she'd try to counter them with her inventions)

Or basically what I mean, who's the best when it comes to handling a hange(aot) darling, from Naruto, kakashi, itachi, Sasuke

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, paranoia

Tags: @shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan @cachamata

Ranking

Uchiha Sasuke

💙Ironically enough I genuinely believe that Sasuke would be the best at handling a darling like this but only because he has prior experience with dealing with crazy scientists like this. You have to remember that he spend a solid 3 years of his youth with Orochimaru, Kabuto and all their lab rats, prisoners and subjects. That is not to say that he is a 100% supportive as there is still a difference between his former mentor and his darling but at this rate he’s just kind of used to being surrounded by scientific insanity. He’s kind of gone through a phase as well but he’s not going to mention that to you. I actually think that he would even be invested in some of the research that you are doing and with all the time he has spend with Orochimaru and Kabuto he might even be able to give you helpful advice. There are firm lines that he draws though, all the more since you neglect your own safety severely in favor of your research. He’d constantly monitor you when you are inventing a new seal or jutsu all to prevent a potential catastrophe from happening. He’s seen what damage your experiments can cause if you aren’t forcefully stopped and he’s not going to make that mistake twice.

Uchiha Itachi

🍡Perhaps it is just sheer hypocrisy that Itachi, who has joined the Akatsuki and has sacrificed innocent people in their name, wishes for you to stop your reckless pursuit of knowledge and invention. Initially it is all only voiced subtly as Itachi tries to reason with you normally. The more time passes though and the more reckless your experiments get, drawing unwanted attention from bounty hunters, the more forceful he As the secret lover of a traitor to the Leaf Village and as a member of a highly dangerous villain group there would be already a big target on your back yet your infamous reputation only adds to the attention that you receive. It all reminds him uncomfortably much of Orochimaru, a former member of the Akatsuki with whom he used to work in the past and even he could never condone the crimes that the Sanin has committed and a tiny part of him is scared that you might one day go down the same route and sell your morales in favor of achieving your goals. Perhaps it is just a wish that he is, wanting you to be normal to balance out everything that has happened in his life yet apparently that is a wish not granted to him.

Hatake Kakashi

📖If Sasuke can tolerate it and allow you even the supervised practice and Itachi would let you continue for a bit before he decides to put his foot down then with Kakashi you just crash into the wall. Konohagakure has already a tainted reputation for letting Orochimaru get away so the moment that he catches wind of your experiments he immediately stops you before you can cause any greater damage. It doesn’t even matter that you actually don’t plan on sacrificing any human lives besides maybe your own in a reckless pursuit as paranoia dominates in the face of anything. There is a sprinkle of a logical approach in this all though as Kakashi is well aware that the council wouldn’t tolerate your doings as they would only see the second Orochimaru in you. That or Danzo might end up convincing them that under his guidance you might end up being useful and he knows exactly how that old man works and the methods that he uses. Really, Kakashi is trying to protect you from those people and yourself as you have no concept of self-preservation as he would use abduction, isolation and his Sharingan immediately.

[iambilliejeanok]

How they react to seeing reader cry.

Fandoms: Naruto( Akatsuki) || Jujustu Kaisen|| Record of Ragnarok

Featured: Buddha, Itachi, Orochimaru, Geto, Kisame

FLUFF OVERLOAD

🩷Buddha 🩷

He absolutely CANNOT afford to have you shedding tears and not solve whatever problem you have immediately.

Whenever he sees those tears running down your cheeks he lovingly lifts up your chin with his fingers, wiping them away with his thumb before pressing a few kisses to your lips. “What’s the matter?”, he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. He really hates seeing you like this.

And he has many times before and will always be ready to fight the other gods for you. (Even though I genuinely don’t know what kind of mess you’re getting into to be stirring up gods and stuff) But since he is a god, which you don’t like to take advantage of, you try to keep things to yourself to not feel bad about the extra leg and a half you have in life. Since he loves you so much though, he will get to the bottom of this issue himself if it really comes down to it. If you’re struggling at work, with a project, family and friends or you’re not feeling well in general, he’s sure to immediately attend to those issues. But that’s only after he cuddles you to pieces.

He does show major signs of being clingy, so when your feeling upset he’s wrapped around you all day like a sweater, until he’s convinced that you’re well enough for him to leave you on your own and go sort out those issues. He’s like a personal hero. A very clingy one.

🩷Uchiha Itachi 🩷

He’s not as clingy as Buddha is, but when he does see you feeling upset enough to start crying, he will baby you to death. He turns into a koala and will literally wrap his arms around you and never let go. Not until he’s 100% certain you’re okay. And even then, he might spend some time being extra close to you just to make himself feel better.

He’s very susceptible to depression and when he sees you crying, it triggers a deep somberness inside of him that he can’t explain, and he starts overthinking, growing terribly paranoid about you getting hurt or being in any other kind of situation that would make you cry. He doesn’t tears, nor does he like the sound of crying, especially coming from you. So now you experience a season of clingy, overprotective, extra soft Itachi.

Even if you’re only upset in the moment and soon recover and get over whatever mad you cry, he still can’t help but linger around you for a week or two, taking many days off of work or finishing earlier than usual. He bathes with you, cooks each of your meals throughout the day, helps you get ready for bed and tucks you in at night. He will even treat you to a story while scratching your back before bed, and holds you tighter than usual, throughout the entire night.

You know he has some kind of a problem since his behavior is definitely not normal, but if it helps him in any way, you’ll always allow him to treat you like and you also try to reciprocate the treatment to help him snap out of it sooner rather than later.

🩷Orochimaru 🩷

He’s usually the reason as to why you cry to begin with, which at first, he pretends he doesn’t care, immediately turning around to walk away from you so he doesn’t have to watch you break down. But over time, he does take an interest in your feelings. He just feels guilty sometimes and doesn’t know how to approach you.

He knows you love to cuddle though, so he will try to use that during times like this and invite you to come and spend time with him while he works. He’ll rub your back and hold you close to him as he walks around his home and might even suggest going for walks around the large base hand in hand. He went as far as nurturing a garden with his own hands for you two to walk through whenever he upset you like this.

He doesn’t make you cry on purpose. It’s never his intention to begin with, but it happens and when it does, he kind of hates himself for a while. But he’ll never mention it and hides his guilt quite well. He loves it when you lay on his chest sometimes and he can rub your back, and slowly feel you begin to calm down.

Sometimes the poor man gets so frustrated over the sight of tears flooding your eyes, he’ll gently smoosh you into his chest and wrap his arms around you and just hold you, petting your head and rubbing your back while he tries to hush you. It’s only when it gets to this point that he’ll mumble and apology while he’s hugging you. He doesn’t mind standing with you like this until you finally calm down.

🩷Geto Suguru 🩷

He sees you crying and you’re surprised to see a warm smile plastered on his face. “Oh babe, it’s okay”, he chuckles, pulling you close against him to hug you. He’s so good at making the situation seem less dire than it actually is and prefers to distract you from your problems than talk about them.

He will address whatever cause those tears to begin with at later stage, but tries to focus on getting you passed your balling. Sometimes he’ll pick you up and rub your back while you wrap your limps around him and cry into his shoulder. He coos at you and baby talks you while he rocks you in his arms.

After endless kisses against your forehead while he cradles you in his arms, the moment he feels like your breakdown is over, he’ll tickle you. He tickles you until you’re breathless with laughter and have long forgotten to cry. You can only run away from him, and you try your best to wriggle out of his hold, and then he’s after you and the chase builds up adrenaline inside of you that totally distracts you from whatever made you cry.

You end up having to play fight him until there’s a winner, which he freely gives over to you. Once’s it’s been established that you’ve won, he’ll reward you with taking you out to your favorite place and doesn’t mind stopping to get some popsicles with you. He’s a total sucker for you when he tries to make you feel better and will even let you ride his dragon with him, the two of you flying over the nearby ocean, laying on your backs ontop of rainbow dragon, enjoying the wind brushing against your skin while you suck on your popsicle.

It’s during peaceful moments like this that he’ll finally ask you why you were so upset and now you can tell him without feeling too depressed about it.

🩷 Kisame 🩷

He’s not good with tears. He doesn’t know what to do whenever you cry and will quietly separate himself from you when he sees you getting emotional. It’s never with negative intentions, it’s just very awkward for him. What does he say? What should he do? He’s never really seen an example of how to approach the situation.

I mean at least he understands that you’re clearly having a hard time, so he will try and get as many chores out of the way as possible and will work extra hard to ensure that you don’t have to do a single thing around the house. He does grow very quiet though and won’t say much when he does find himself within your vicinity.

If you ask him to shower with you or do anything for you, he will of course. And he heavily relies on instruction during this time or else he’ll just excuse himself. If you’re having an episode and he notices you’re crying almost everyday, he becomes a bit scarce and when he’s away from you he’s constantly stressed out. He really doesn’t know what to do. He’ll humbly ask another member of the org for advice when it gets that bad, and will only come home at night to tidy up the entire house to make sure you’re chore-less the next day.

It’s only when you vent to him with tears in your eyes about why he’s avoiding you does the thought come to him like a lightbulb that he should probably spend more time holding you. He’s trying his best though I mean his traumatizing past is all he got sometimes. But he kind of likes it when you cling to him and your crying goes from making him nervous, to making him feel needed and protective.

[yanderes-galore]

Since you're writing for Naruto again, how about romantic yandere Orochimaru concept?

Sure! Hopefully I understand his character correctly ^^ Hope you enjoy!

Yandere! Orochimaru Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Sadism, Manipulation, Human experimentation, Blood, Drugging/Poison, Kidnapping, Isolation, Murder, Biting, Forced "relationship".

Orochimaru is probably one of the scariest Naruto yanderes I can think of.

My main reasons why are his canon obsessive behavior, his ability to evade death, and his literal human experimentation.

Orochimaru, in my eyes, is a very unnerving villain.

His obsession is going to be in for one hell of a time because of his behavior.

He's a sadist who only ever wants to help himself.

There's a good chance if he's obsessed with you... His "love" isn't normal.

He only ever tracks people down to use them as vessels or experiments.

He also has quite the following of willing experiments....

If he has to go out of his way to hunt you down, you must be quite special to him.

Or you are just very unlucky.

I can only think of horrible things happening to Orochimaru's obsession once he has his serpentine eyes on them.

He seems twisted enough to make them one of his experiments, then turn around and say he loves them.

Want to make it worse? Make his obsession an Uchiha.

He has shown that he wants power, to do that he's been meaning to make an Uchiha his vessel (Itachi, Sasuke....).

So if he had an Uchiha obsession, it's probably infinitely worse for you.

Orochimaru is known to be highly manipulative with his charisma.

He could have his obsession be yet another loyal pawn who worships him... but I also think he enjoys the hunt.

With his ability to disguise himself and change vessels, hiding from his obsession is easy.

He'll watch you from the shadows, grinning mischievously as he thinks of ways to make you his newest toy.

There's no courting with you.

Even when he finds you attractive, he isn't going to spend time to get you to like him normally.

No, instead he plans to kidnap you.

Most yanderes at least get close to their obsession before resorting to such measures.

Orochimaru simply views it as part of the game he wishes to play with you.

His attraction to you could have occurred after kidnapping you or before.

Maybe you have a power he wishes to exploit, or maybe he took you for a different reason.

Either way... Your meeting with Orochimaru involves you being dragged into his base of operations and plopped into your own cell.

Some with a keen eye, like Kabuto, no doubt notice Orochimaru's... "fondness" towards you.

It's strange, a man such as him has not expressed care for anyone but himself.

Not old friends, not old mentors....

This is a man who kills for what he wants.

Yet here he is, talking to you softly.

Not only that but after whatever experimental horrors he puts you through... He comes back to you to offer comfort.

It's not very effective, but he never visits any other experiment as much as you.

Orochimaru is also fond of privacy.

Not even Kabuto is allowed to witness what you and Orochimaru do at times.

Which is often... intimate in nature.

Orochimaru is sadistic, after all.

To him, experimentation of all types is bonding.

Be that testing your strength, endurance... or other things not related to combat.

Orochimaru seems like the type to experiment with poisons or drugs.

He takes you, his favorite experiment, and weakens you bit by bit with what you can only assume is venom?

He likes to see how weak it makes you.

Plus, over time, it gets you immune to it.

But for now... He enjoys biting you just enough to see you weaken.

That's not the only reason he bites you, either...

He happens to enjoy marking you in any way he can.

No follower of his is allowed to communicate with you.

Orochimaru cares for nothing and no one but himself and you.

You could be chatting with someone from your cell, looking for human companionship...

Only for Orochimaru to slit their throat, eyes coldly watching their blood splatter.

"My little experiment... What did I say about speaking to others?"

Orochimaru adores everything about his little experiment.

He loves the way you feel, the way you taste, the way you squirm.

You're an experiment, a toy for him to use for his own personal entertainment.

If you're strong, he loves that too.

He's also been one who looks for strength in his test subjects.

Who knows, maybe he doesn't need Sasuke as a vessel...

Not when he has you.

Orochimaru has his ways of keeping you disciplined.

If the isolation and experiments weren't enough, he has his own ways of inflicting pain.

It can be physical... it can be mental... doesn't matter to him.

Even better if he gets to test another drug or venom on you.

He'll find what makes you compliant, one way or another.

If you're ever defiant, he'll find ways to break you.

Orochimaru is a possessive yandere, after all he loves to make marks on you.

You may be caged, but he still feels the need to show others you're his little pet.

The worst case scenario when it comes to him as a yandere is the fact he might use you as a host.

He has been known to take the bodies of others for who knows how long.

This is his key to immortality.

If he wanted his obsession to stay with him, as part of him...

He may steal your body for his own uses.

He knows you won't be willing, but you never had much of a choice.

Orochimaru knows just keeping you in a cage still allows others to steal you.

What if someone storms the place to 'rescue' you?

If he merges you two, then no one will take you from him.

He'll always remember you this way.

After all, he 'loves' you.

To him, what better way is there to show love than... well...

Becoming them?

There are no good outcomes for Orochimaru's obsession.

You're either kept as a pet and experiment... or made into his newest host.

Either way, Orochimaru doesn't care how he has you to himself...

He'll make sure you're his toy forever, no matter what the cost is.

[doroooooooo]

The way characters behave at the Kakuzu and Hidan arc (idk if that's the proper way to say it) just shows how many of them is a hypocrite. If they catched a random ninja instead of Shikamaru going like "I want to take revenge, to bury alive an immortal, and kill a guy who never had a minute of comfort in his 91 years if living" THE WAY they would stop them.

But we'll, since it was their precious friend, of course it's justified!

Kakuzu was betrayed horribly by his own village. He didn't have his kinjutsu when he was sent to fight Hashirama. He didn't care about money yet - meaning he accepted the mission out of loyalty, just to be punished for failing to do what motherfucking Madara Uchiha and the rest of the shinobi world also couldn't.

And Hidan is literally a confused kid. He has no concept of how normal people function. He grew up seeing "neighbor kill neighbor", so he thought that was normal. He says peaceful shinobis don't exist, because they would chose fight over death. HE IS LITERALLY A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF A NEURODIVERGENT PERSON GETTING EASILY BRAINWASHED BY A CULT.

They are BOTH easily redeemable characters, compared to Gaara, or freaking Orochimaru. Mind you, Orochimaru never regretted what he did, never even stopped, he just found a new thing to work on.

Also Asuma's death was NOT personal. Hidan had no reason to attack before they did, and Kakuzu wasn't even there when it started. Asuma died because he started a fight he couldn't win.

So yes, Naruto could have easily talk no jutsu-d his way out of this one.

And don't even get me started on Kakashi's little speech when Kakuzu died. Darling. It's NOT your space to give a speech, when the only thing that saved you was someone literally backstabbing your enemy. We all know how that fight would've ended if Naruto didn't show up.

My freaking overthinking roman empire is the way Hidan still cared about Kakuzu, despite them not getting along. Bless his soul that yelling when Kakuzu got hit. Also the way Hidan behaves at the beginning of the fight.

So yeah, little rant. In a way I find it awesome writing tho. Showing even generally good hearted characters to be a hypocrite when the victim was someone they knew, and turn completely OOC.

Or at least I would, but there we got Obito who Naruto had no problem with.