#oriented aromantic

[lgbtq-userboxes]

[rainbow-frogz]

I’m going to come out to my sister later.

Hopefully.

Wish me luck, I may chicken out again like I did the last three times.

But if I do I’m going to come out as omni oriented aromantic and explain tertiary and alterous attraction. I may also come out as asexual.

Once again, hopefully.

Wish me luck please, I feel close to death.

[stormy-caffeine]

Angled Opalian + Oriented Opalian

AroAce + Opalian combo flags!

Angled Opalian

Someone who is a mlm, mlnb, nblm, and nblnb, meaning someone who is non-binary and a man who is attracted to men and non-binary individuals, while also being both ace-spec and aro-spec.

Oriented Opalian

An aromantic asexual (aroace) individual that is non-binary and a man who experiences a form of tertiary attraction towards men and non-binary individuals that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation.

The flags were made by combining existing flags. Credit for the original flags that inspired these go to: Angled aroace flag by black-aros, oriented aroace flag by @biaroace, and opalian flag by @nlmgalaxy.

[theinsomniacindian]

Being loveless and an oriented aroace at the same time is so weird. One side of me wants to find a queer-platonic version of The One™ to live and die with while the other scuttles away from the slightest mention of love, sex and romance like a terrified beast

[geekinator]

I can’t be the only one around here who thinks kissing is gross, right?

[aroacearchangel]

hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.

and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.

[code-sprites]

Pride Shipping Containers - 05/2024

[reggieslocket]

reblog to scare the aphobes

[bloggingboutburgers]

The world DID work really hard to give me trust issues

[queerpunktomatoes]

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending��.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

[callmemossbrain]

brushing your hair, aroace style. holding your hand, aroace style. leaning on you, aroace style. laughing with you, aroace style. cuddling while going to sleep, aroace style. braiding your hair, aroace style. dinner together, aroace style. long hugs, aroace style. inside jokes, aroace style. "babe, love, dear," aroace style. making fun of things together, aroace style. giggling at three am, aroace style. driving to see you, or you see me, aroace style. meeting each other's friends, aroace style. meeting important people in your life, aroace style. dropping off a coffee while at work, aroace style. opening the car door for you, aroace style. comforting hand on knees, shoulders, head, back, aroace style. sleepy drives, aroace style. "I have ibuprofen," aroace style. "don't forget your meds," aroace style.

platonic swag, if you will.

[breaking-news-the-aroace-has]

After a brief sexuality crisis, the aroace has remained firm in their identity while renewing their aesthetic appreciation of titties.

Broadcaster's note: There was supposed to be a pun with identity and iden-TITTY, but the aroace has butchered it, much to their disappointment :(

[genderqueerdykes]

is bullying, abusing and chasing aromantic and asexual people out of the community actually helping anyone? is it helping trans people get binders or breastforms, or find surgeons, or connect with other trans people? is it helping mspec people figure out that being attracted to multiple genders is normal and okay? is it helping lesbians and gays find each other? is it helping intersex people learn more about their conditions?

it's not. it's not helping anyone else get the resources, support and help they need. all it's doing is denying a huge chunk of the community their right to have the same things we have and want. it's not helping a single soul. it's not making it easier for anyone else to get what they need by removing these groups of people, because as queers, we all have different needs. we are here to help each other. the point of community is to help.

if you refuse to help one or two specific types of members of your own community, you are prejudiced and you are the one being disruptive to the unity and functionality of the queer community. you are the one causing problems- not the aromantics, asexuals and other aspectrum people.

[queerism1969]

[aro-absol]

You're not the only one! It seems like a not uncommon experience experience for non-SAM aromantics to want to add another orientation label without using the SAM.

So the term "oriented aromantic" was coined by @just-aro in 2021:

Link to the post

I'm not an oriented aro personally but I think the concept is super cool. Hope that helps, anon!

EDIT: I accidentally tagged the wrong person as the coiner, it's fixed now.

hi!! im not sure where else to ask this and i figure if you dont know the answer someone following you probably will lol

anyway, would bi-orientated non-SAM aro be a correct/understandable way of describing my attraction. to elaborate further, i feel like my sexuality cannot be defined without my aromanticism and view them as intrinsic to each other, which is why i use non-SAM aro even though i do feel sexual attraction- the sexual attraction just doesnt feel important as a stand alone identity. however, i also feel like my aroness is kinda bi. not necessarily biromantic or bisexual just. bi

does that even make sense? sorry if this is confusing

ive also seen that the orientated label is aroace exclusive so im unsure

thank you!!

Hi! First and foremost, there is no need to ask for anyone's permission or approval to use a label if you think it suits you, and you can always just change your mind if you feel different about it later so don't sweat it, labels are meant to make it easier to understand, not to make everything more confusing than before.

Anyways, yeah I do think non-SAM fits what you've described. As for the orientated thing, I don't think you should care if that's aroace exclusive or not cause who's making these rules? And hey, I think I've seen some other aros bring up the idea of it also being an aro thing and not necessarily ace so you're probably not the only one feeling this way.