#or wait i DO have a job i forgot about that

[littleocean-rose]

ignore me as i drop this small disaster here before the mv is published

warnings: mafia!san, reader is gender neutral, use of petnames (daddy, kitten, my love, babe), slightly suggestive at the beginning, mentions of san killing people, description of san killing a guy (strangulation with belt)

San looks at you from behind his desk, hair neatly gelled back and his glasses resting on the edge of his nose as he glares over their frames. “What did I tell you about coming in without knocking, kitten?” His voice is low, rough, and it has you squeezing your thighs together. You bite your lip, at least having the audacity to look apologetic.

“Sorry, daddy, but I heard banging and wanted to check on you.”

San’s eyes soften. “Aw, was kitten worried about daddy?” You nod, your eyes falling to the man on the floor beside San. He’s struggling, legs kicking out as he claws desperately at the belt pulled against his neck. The sight fills you with a sense of fear—it’s a clear reminder that your lover is as dangerous as they come; a professional killer, a man capable of horrifying feats, one that always makes sure the job gets finished.

You can’t see the man’s face, which you’re more than thankful for, but he clearly heard you; reaching a hand out in your direction from behind the desk. “H-He-lp.”

A chill runs down your spine, your eyes locked on to his outreaching hand. San pulls the belt even tighter around the man’s neck, and his quiet plea is cut off with barely audible wheezing. “Kitten. Hey. My love.” Your eyes snap to San’s, and he can see the fear in your glassy eyes. You may have come in here with the intent to play around, but right now sex was the last thing on your mind. He looks at you with nothing but softness, a vast contrast to the action he was currently busy with. “Wait outside, okay? I’ll be there shortly.” His voice is gentle, quiet, and you give a nod before exiting the room.

San had done a good job to make sure you never saw him kill his targets. Usually the job was finished outside of his office, but on occasion, when a deal wasn’t struck and the target decides to try to fuck over the Ateez family, well… the office became a killing room of sorts. Which is why San had implemented the knocking rule. On occasion you would walk in without knocking, sometimes to act out in an attempt for San to punish you later that night, other times you simply forgot about the rule. Today you walked in because really had been worried about San. A silly idea, really, to worry about a hitman in a mob family, but you loved him dearly. You cared for him, and he cared for you.

Not even two minutes later, San is exiting his office; the hands that just killed a man were now gently running up your arms in a soothing fashion. He pulls you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your hair. “Are you okay, my love?”

“Yeah.” Your voice is muffled by his jacket, your face pressed against his chest as you let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry for entering your office without knocking.”

“It’s okay,” he murmurs against your skin, pressing another soft kiss to it. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” You shake your head, inhaling his cologne. “How about you head downstairs and I’ll start making you dinner, hm? I’ll make you your favorite tonight.” A small smile pulls at your lips. “I love you, you know that, right? That I would never hurt you?” You can just barely make out the worry in his tone, and it shows just how much he cares for you.

You pull back, looking him in his eyes. “I know, Sannie. Sometimes I just forget how… dark your job can be. Which is stupid, I know–“

“Hey.” He gives you a mild glare. “It’s not stupid. Nothing you do, say or think is stupid, we’ve been over that.”

“I know,” you roll your eyes. “I’m saying, I shouldn’t be surprised by the things you do. I know what you do for a living.”

“Seeing it and knowing about it are two different things, baby. You should never have to see what I do.” He presses another kiss to your forehead. “Never.”

Choi San, professional hitman, member to feared mafia family Ateez, was simply a loving, caring boyfriend to you. He put you above all else, made sure you were taken care of, made sure you knew you were loved and supported. With hands that killed and murdered, with you they were soft and gentle and attentive.

Choi San, a man who never thought he’d find love, had found his soulmate. And he’d be damned if he let anyone, or anything, ever hurt you.

listen maybe i'm a little tired of seeing reader always getting turned on when mafia san kills someone or is also a killer too maybe i just want to see mafia san with a reader who's just a normal person who sometimes forgets that their sweet boyfriend is actually really fucking good at killing people and sometimes that spooks them-

anyway idk what this is but brain was like "throw it on tumblr" so.. here you go?

[frownyalfred]

(same anon hehe)

ahhh duke may be hard to write but you do a wonderful job :) you capture him learning and observing so well and it’s so fun when we as the readers know the context and can deduce what he’s experiencing! nothing to worry about!

yes! I’m excited to see them! the cliffhanger leading towards the origin story of the regime was kinda sick of you!!!!!! and kon!!!! I forgot ab him….. he’s a factor I didn’t even consider and there are so many roles he could potentially play! from a handler to the batkids or hopefully someone who’s playing the long game besides them hmm.

and just another offhanded observation but aghjslw him being around the age the older batkids were when everything with the regime started and the same age damian would be in the current timeline (I think?) is so good :,)

sorry for leaving 2 long asks <\33 I don’t have an ao3 account and couldn’t comment but aaaaaahhh can’t wait to read more and please take all the time you need!

Thank you so much! Yeah making Duke Damian's age was definitely on purpose, poor Bruce cannot ignore that reality. He's teaching kids who could've been his own. I love it. It's so angsty.

[bsideheart]

thank youuuu sorry this took a while !!!

do you make your bed:

COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ONE i used to but now i can't bring myself to care

favorite number: 27. is that just bc it's my favorite song? maybe

current job: sadly unemployed </3 im hoping to be a lifeguard next summer tho

if you could go back to school would you:

i’m in school rn but i plan to go to college so yeah i guess !!

can you parallel park:

ermmm. working on it 💀

a job you had that would surprise people:

tutoring which would surprise ppl because i don’t seem patient enough

do aliens exist:

statistically, most likely yes!! the universe is so huge that this cannot be the only planet on which life formed. however i’m still working through a lot of christian bullshit about humans being a chosen race and therefore aliens can’t exist but overall yes :3

can you drive a manual car:

no sadly but i wanna learn

guilty pleasure:

cunty 2000s girl pop........ save me britney spears....

tattoos:

none yet 💔 but i want so many

favorite color:

purple !!!

favorite music genre:

thrash metal, followed closely by pop punk and screamo :D

do you like puzzles:

i mean they're okay but i wouldn't pick it as an activity of my own free will

phobias:

none that i know of but i do have pretty intense rapture anxiety

favorite childhood sport:

swimming !!! all day every day baby it's my favorite sport now and forever katie ledecky has been my idol since i was 9

do you talk to yourself:

yeah sometimes. not a whole lot but when my brain has turned into a blender and i can't isolate a single thought i start talking it through out loud

favorite movies:

back to the future!! jennifer's body!!! i'm halfway through brokeback mountain so i can't say that one in good conscience but it's probably gonna end up on the list too

coffee or tea:

ermmmm. i don't like tea that much but coffee makes my stomach hurt so i gotta say neither WAIT WAIT BOBA TEA so yeah tea probably

what did you wanna be when you grew up:

firefighter and then mathematician and then pro swimmer <3 now i aspire to be an auto mechanic. there's still a tiny childlike part of me that i keep mostly tucked away that still wants to be a pro swimmer and i let it take over when i'm at practice but i know it's not realistic so. auto mechanic

tags: @lipglossveins @roastedsoup @pnuk-r0ck @blurrycow @thnksfrthmmrs @diamond-rings-and-gutter-bones @kerosene-saint @40steps @pisshandkerchief @bre3zycoins and anyone else who wants to join!!! please feel free to hop on <33

@inniave thanks for the tag:)

do you make your bed: no

what’s your favorite number: i really like 7 n 13

current job: im blissfully unemployed

if you could go back to school, would you: high school or anything before it? no. college? i dunno im not there yet

can you parallel park: no i dont even have my license lmao

a job you had that would surprise people: never had a job but i went to a fancy ass private school for 6yrs

do you think aliens are real: yeah to an extent. not like the movies tho

can you drive a manual car: no

guilty pleasure: probably people watching

tattoos: theres a handful i wanna get but i don't have any atm

favorite color: red

favorite music genre: dunno. been listening to a lotta classic rock n shit lately but im not sure if i'd call it my favorite genre

do you like puzzles: yeah when they don't piss me off lmao

phobias: throwing up freaks me out n i have some paranoia type issues but i wouldn't call any of it a phobia

favorite childhood sport: i took karate lessons for a little while but that was about it. i did soccer too and i fucking hated it

do you talk to yourself: yes n no

favorite movies: probably the decline of western civilization part ii: the metal years and new york dolls: all dolled up. but i really like labyrinth n velvet goldmine too

coffee or tea: never been a big fan of hot tea but i like it a lot fucking better than coffee

first thing you wanted to be when you grew up: an author i think. i dunno i never thought too much about it

tagging @psychicequalizer @jwowwsboobs @bl1nk-182

[spaghett-onaplate]

Once I have a job and some spare money I am sooo tempted to put $85 toward one of those rainbow parachutes you'd play with as a kid at school. I mean, the parachute has about 18 handles, I have roughly 10 friends with the whimsy to participate plus myself. Maybe???

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

[daily-odile]

AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

[taraxacum-vulpes]

why is everyone pretending like cyberpunk edgerunners is good. the writing is so bad i hate it

[yourlocalgrass]

I just realised I know the birthday Nightmare comes up on the exact day as the said character’s birthday but doesn’t the revival come almost like 5 days before their Birthday??

There hasn’t been any birthday Pop Quiz revival for Levi yet… it should have been here by now. I mean we can still wait until the last day and if it pops up or they’ve removed birthday revival events then… that’s the last of OM ever left that they’ve just removed.

Infact I’ve just realised the recent Birthday Pop Quizz revivals end 2 days before the character’s Birthday

-Simeon’s Birthday is on February 10th

-The twins Birthday is on March 11th

So if we’re talking about Levi’s birthday revival here, it should have ended by now. And well, there you have it, there’s nothing yet. I mean just gotta wait and see…

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

reopening the ask box is like... just finishing vacuuming shed cat hair, and then immediately going and petting said cat vigorously & watching with delight as So Much Fur sheds right back onto the floor

[knaveofmogadore]

You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal

[doodlingwren]

Hiatus

I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.

Thank you for your patience ❤

Wren

[eugeniedanglars]

so far the goes wrong show has led me to 1) spend too much money on theater tickets and a day out in manhattan 2) start a way-too-ambitious sims build inspired by the set of harper's locket 3) start a new sims save inspired by the plot of harper's locket and now 4) make a cake inspired by the one in summer once again. presumably the next step is, like vanessa, quitting my job at the bbc in order to join an amateur theatre troupe that will give me brain damage

[pinolitas]

i have finally made a good decision. i am going to get a gis certificate but probably not until next fall cause i wanna do another semester of polish and ive seen the schedule of classes and it interferes with my polish class unfortunately. grad school for linguistics will be shelved for another year. i also am not confident i would get in with my gpa and the thought of having to write a thesis scares me.

[ghostofbriggiesmalls]

As an information security professional with multiple certifications and a decade+ worth of experience, I need you all to know that this is 100% accurate and exactly how hackers gain entry.

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!