#or they feel ugly without it
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Reviewing the benefits of being autistic, raised by an autistic mother who didn’t wear makeup, made her own clothes (plain comfortable pants, loud print shirts, cardigans), and didn’t really fuck with her hair except perms back in the ‘80s: I save so much money from not spending on makeup and hair things, and though the only clothes I can make are crocheted, I don’t care that much about matching/coordinating and feel free to dress for comfort instead of looks
The cons: I am *very* confused when I accidentally stumble into beauty product discourse (you spent how much on 1.3 ounces of what? Wait, is it legal to charge that much for a hair curler?) and have been known to offend people who suggested I might like a makeover by telling them I like my face the way it is (including/especially my sister when I was trapped into hair and makeup on her wedding day because everyone thought I’d enjoy the “treat” of being slathered and bobby-pinned to the point of meltdown)
#to be fair i like lipstick sometimes because i like colors and it feels more like fun dress-up play than being presentable#and I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear makeup if it’s your jam like i love that for you#but i do get sad when folks think they HAVE to wear it for whatever reason#or they feel ugly without it#like that’s your face babe#and that face is loveable because it’s YOURS#and if people say you look tired or sick when you skip out on wearing it#please know that’s a THEM problem like 100%#your face has nothing to do with their lack of manners#anyway you look smashing and whoever makes you feel less than that can have a little chat with me#love you byeeeee ♥️
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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ya ghoulies living proof of when they say makeup is false advertising 😂
#i literally look like im dying 😂😂😂#i didn’t feel like editing#so enjoy the ugly green tinge#I can’t believe ive had my streak in my bangs for 2yrs#that means loco’s been out that long#because yeji’s pink is 10000000% the reason i did it to myself 🤣#and now just can’t see myself without this hair style or colour#kiki#face queue
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I'm in A Mood™ (stressed) so im going back to my roots of melting two character together into one person. So bruce wayne!danny fenton. Danny Fenton who, for eight years, grew up in a beautiful gothic manor with his mom and dad under the name "Bruce Wayne". Playing piano with his mother, running around the manor with his father.
Then when he's eight it's ripped away from him. There's blood on his hands and pearls pooling at his feet, and both his parents are dead in front of him.
And he gets shipped off to distant relatives "the Fentons" shortly after, Alfred close on his heels because someone needs to take care of him, someone that knows him. Bruce goes to the Fentons for the safety of anonymity. Gotham's press wants to sink its teeth into him.
Danny misses his city even if it took everything from him. There are shadows in his eyes and he's pale as a sheet even beside his distant cousins, and they change his name to "Danny Fenton' because nobody should know that their newest child was illustrious orphan Bruce Wayne.
They call him Bruce behind closed doors. Danny prefers it that way, he clings onto the name -- the one his parents gave him -- like a lifeline. He makes friends with Sam and Tucker. Tucker takes one look at the willowy, morbid little boy standing in the corner like a shade, ghosts in his eyes, and drags him out into the sunlight, and takes him over to Sam.
When Danny is twelve, he's still not over it -- and he's a little obsessed with the Fentons' research, with the morbid. He has books upon books on death, murder, detective work. Anything he can get his hands on. And stars. He loves stars.
Alfred owns the apartment next to them and comes over regularly. Danny clings to him.
When Danny is twelve, he's still quiet, meek, a shy little thing prone to being bullied. Freaky little Fenton with the night in his eyes and too-cold skin even before he put one foot in the grave. in a sleepover in his room with Sam and Tucker, he tells them the truth. They're his friends, he trusts them.
"My name is Bruce." he murmurs, voice quiet as the breeze, always quiet. he's staring at his star-covered sheets.
"Like Bruce Wayne?" Tucker asks, a joking tone in his voice.
Danny smiles a little, lamb-like with insecurity. "I am Bruce Wayne." And he takes them down to the lab, disrupting Maddie and Jack, to prove it. Sam tells them of her own wealth then shortly after. They start calling Danny "Bruce" in private too -- its trust. Thats what it is. It's trust.
Sam goes to media functions and comes back with aching feet and complaints on her tongue -- and Danny soaks it up all like a sponge, splayed across a beanbag chair with Tucker in her room. He's not envious of her, he used to go to events with his parents and they kept him safe from the ugly of Gotham's Elite. For the most part. He's had comments made at him, he doesn't miss them.
Alfred returns to the manor semi-regularly, Danny goes with him. he wanders the hallways and helps Alfred clean, the last thing either of them want is for their home to fall into disrepair. He brings Jazz with him next time, then Tucker, then Sam. They all help him clean, and he shows them his room. The one across from his parents', it feels strange.
When Danny dies when he's fourteen, the first adult he tells is Alfred. He and Jazz go over to his house more often than they stay in the Fentonworks building. At least at Alfred's, the food doesn't come to life. Alfred sits at the kitchen table and weeps when Danny tells him, Jazz is upstairs, and its just the two of them.
Danny's ghost form wears pearls around his wrist and the gloves look stained with some kind of black substance. He looks like a child who died in a lab accident, but he also looks like a child who has shadows dripping off his shoulders, curling at his feet, hanging from his eyes.
because amorphous blob batman has my heart always and danny/bruce will not escape it even in death even if that IS the only reason im giving him Mild BatBlob Vibes...so far
when they go to the manor, alfred helps danny make a pile of stones between Martha and Thomas' graves, nobody but the two of them (and sam and tucker) will know what it means. (not even bruce's children later down the line, not for a long, long time)
danny dives into ghost fighting on shaky feet and not half as witty as he once was in one world. he's skittish, skittering between blasts from shadow to shadow and clumsily making his way through each battle. but helping people lights a fire in him. he still has shadows dripping off his feet but there's a purpose in his eyes.
and god help him, he's going to help people.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dpxdc prompt#this is just me torturing danny for a little bit because im stressed and i cried for an hour while i was driving so im taking it out on B#thanks for being my little stress ball danny#aha my old middle school habit of frankensteining two characters together is resurfacing again :) yall should've seen my wattpad drafts#in middle school. i had 50 of them and most of them were me combining two characters together to make one person and putting them in one au#my most memorable being skydoesminecraft and harry potter. THAT was a fun worldbuilding experience#do i think that growing up with the fentons would fix bruce/danny completely?? hurm. no. dont kid yallselves jazz is not a licensed#therapist not even at like. nine when she meets danny. she's not helping him through his trauma in the slightest. she's nagging.#she's his sister or sister-like figure before she's his therapist. would he be#*entirely* like canon bruce tho?? no. dannybruce is a mix of the both of them. but this is still the first post of the au and is more so#just me doing the equivalent of popping a stress ball so nothing is smoothed over. mostly im just trying to keep bruce's trauma prominent i#danny's character because he IS Bruce. i dont want him to just be 'danny with bruce's backstory but without any of the ugly bits'.#danny and bruce is used interchangeably because they're the same person but sorry if his personality feels imbalanced i came up with this o#the spot. was going to type more but the stress has left me. for now. watch ur back danny 👀
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zane + nya parallels
#alek gifs#ninjago#zane julien#nya smith#that's enough main tags for me#i had to MURDERRR the quality on these sorry for ugliness#also for those confused on why i picked these :#gif 1 “what are they doing” followed by gif 2 which is wu's response.#gif 3 is the funeral and gif 4 is what people did to honor that sacrifice. zane statue and 'nya day'#a lot of these differences are because of the writers / animation studio#i am not power scaling their funerals based on attendance#which is. hilarious concept wise actually#braincellshipping#can be taken as such . wink#something about zane and nya and ice and water and how without one the other cannot function the same#zane going to the digiverse / rebuilding himself. nya going to the sea and having to rediscover who she really is#the way nya saw zane die. like legitimately she was on the rooftop (with pix and borg but yknow)#the way zane's ice was what held nya's form together in s15. oh guys im crazy#they have a lot of trust thats kinda. looked over. she did all of his repairs!! he was fine with her poking around his mind and body#which means a lot bc zane is a very closed off guy. 'i dont feel strong emotions but you can see my every thought nya c: '#also victims of the 'written as hating being seen as one thing... and thing ens up written as just that one thing' ninjago writers issue#zane w robotism. nya with being a girl / jay's girl. oh goodness im cuckoo#ignore how inconsistent the text sizes are i threw this together at 6 am and im NOT feeling it#i forgot how much gif making sucked#oops#rant over
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I don’t know how to feel about this Eridan because reasons.
#eridan ampora#homestuck#homestuck fanart#how can I express to others the complexities of my sadness#without coming across as trite#or self important#it’s actually funny that I was drawing Eridan while I felt like that#that deep understanding of how unlikable you’re appearing to others#juxtaposed with an inability to stop yourself from continuing to be pathetic and ugly#you talk to so many people about the same thing over and over#feeling it bubble at the back of your throat like tar in every conversation#and you’ll see it on their faces#the pity#the annoyance#you can’t stop it from bubbling though#you can’t stop yourself from spilling over#idk if this counts as trauma dumping#tw vent#just in case#I Guess
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I don’t know how I want to draw him anymore
#eric cartman#studies#very ugly ones too#hello#im still very much on hiatus as my mental health is horrible#I can’t even draw anymore without feeling awful#ugh this makes me so sad :(#I miss the community#I miss you all
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Bitter medicine by the crane wives is about undiagnosed adhd. By the way
#ugly sobbing ober the song#ugh#the crane wives#maybe not adhd specifically#but my overall mixture of troubles and problems#underacheiving eldest sibling#something about feeling like i have to shield everyone from my problems because its not their responsibility to fix them#and any sypmathy or help or even love they give me is wasted and better used somewhere else#yet at the same time trying so so hard to get all that and earn it and failing so hard without even knowing why#this isnt even a vent really i am just dissecting#this is strictly academic
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HELLO PETRIGROF NATION 🤩🤩 Fionna and Cake finale destroyed me and made me very sad so I couldn't draw anything except silly doodles to cope pls enjoy
#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fionna and cake#fionna and cake fanart#adventure time fanart#the quote from the second doodle is from a Steven universe fanart I saw back when they revealed rose quartz was actually pink diamond shsjd#Most of these are from ms paint :)#Skipsart#Will never get over this ending actually#Like three of my classmates who have never even heard of adventure time love these two now just because I can't shut up about them#ME WHEN TRAGIC LOVERS 😢😢😢 UAUAUA <- (sounds of despair)#Really wanted to see a human Golbetty design :(#Also low-key wished they pulled a La La Land and showed us the life they could've had/an alternate dimension where they're happy together#I get that they wanted us to feel like the characters and stuff but still HHHHH#Anywayz it took me two months to get over this#I couldn't listen to Everything in You without ugly crying LMBOOO#I'm a sensitive guy okay 😔 I'm fine now so we're good‼️💪
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another clarinette design!! the initial version in my head had pink highlights so i was thinking of giving them back to her....maybe...
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#clarinette#beta#art#ocs#original#i dont know why the original had pink but it feels wrong without it somehow...#pink is mochis color though........#maybe clarinette gets the ugly hot pink while mochi can have the beautiful baby pink#maybe this is why lime gave her a chance...the pink reminded him of mochi
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"You would really prefer me as I am?"
#bg3 gale#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale bg3#what else#baldurs gate gale#i'm reuploading this screencap naked without my rambling for ur viewing pleasure#i just. love his FACE so much here#and I don't want anyone to not have this face on their page because my tipsy rant is ugly <3#(i mean that in a non-self depricating way btw; it is not aesthetically pleasing)#(i was feeling a LOT of things)#(but i stand by it tbh)
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*watching the shorts (before actually subscribing to them)* hey, this Mace guy is kinda cute
*watching OUAW and Icebound* hey, Andy is kinda cute
*watching EOM* hey, Derek is kinda cute
#i have realized that watching loa is a dangerous game#why are they all so attractive. this is very mean of them#/lh of course#no but seriously tho. Derek without glasses is doing something to me#and idk how to feel about it#not that he’s ugly with glasses bc he’s not#but I’m kinda bad with faces I realize. and so if someone changes something about their face I have to like.#stare at them weirdly to be like ‘oh yeah I know you’#which is why i didn’t fully recognize how attractive Derek was until I started eom yknow?#not beardless Derek tho. beardless Derek is cursed. (/lh but not really)#legends of avantris#I’ll shut up now before the grave I’m digging gets deeper
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More cringe memes. Lucrecia Edition.
#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#dirge of cerberus#lucrecia crescent#Hojo#sephcanons#And don't @ me for this#I recognize that Lucrecia was very much in the wrong for her involvement in the Jenova Project#She is just as guilty as everyone else#HOWEVER there's lots of room to suggest she had no idea what she was really getting herself into#And unlike Hojo she isn't doing this to be a sadist nor was her intention to have her own child taken from her#Lucrecia needs a rewrite but what's there has some serious layers#Also I feel like there's an ugly underbelly of misogyny within the fandom when it comes to its hatred for Lucrecia#Lucrecia is allowed to have done horrible things without being the villain#Good people can do horrible HORRIBLE things#Lucrecia isn't evil she's a stubborn dumbass who kept trying to fix her mistakes and dug herself deeper as a result#But she never wanted Vincent or Sephiroth to suffer#She wanted Vincent alive#And she wanted to hold her son#There's nothing saying that Hojo wasn't manipulating her the entire time#Remember in the OG it's implied he was drugging her into compliance#Part 3 may very well clear some things up
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one of my favorite things about carry on fandom (at least as it has existed since i joined in 2021) is that no one gets hung up on like... writing expertise or fics being "out of character." this is especially impressive because there is SO MUCH character analysis that goes on in this fandom, and yet it never translates to dunking on interpretations of characters that ppl disagree with. there's just genuine joy over the face that people are out here writing and sharing and putting their own twists on stories.
in general, everyone is just so encouraging abt art, and that's such a wonderful environment for people who are new to writing/sharing their writing. and for people who are not new but still feel nervous about putting themselves out there. it's really special! i think it's similar for visual art too
#i know i dont write much snowbaz anymore but i genuinely think that#fanfic (and fiction writing in general) probably wouldnt be such a big part of my life if not for#how enjoyable is was to write for carry on fandom.#i learned so fucking much about writing and about why *i* enjoyed writing#because i just felt so safe putting stuff out there and doing the ugly parts of learning#without fear that i was gonna piss someone off or get dragged or criticized or something LOL#idk man im just in my feelings abt this rn#quiet lil shoutout to kris and pal and aralias and all the other people who go the extra mile to rly influence this into the#comfortable space it is. like these vibes are not accidental
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#so tired of all the posting on the bvcktommy tag having this spirit of spite and antagonism toward other ppl instead of being about the ship#every post is “what are they talking about? this man is ugly?”#“you have to be blind to think tommy was rude”#or some other passive aggressive shit#you realize you can post all these without making it an in your face argument about online strangers all the time right?#you dont have to prove anything to anyone you're literally preaching to the choir#and reminding them the negativity#post whatever you want sure but#pls dont take it personal if i break some mutuals in the near future bc these vibes make me feel on edge all the time and im not having fun
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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it
#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people#who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn’t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day#having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal
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