#or that there isnt anyone who truly loves me
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paintedpineleaf · 4 months ago
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i keep everything that people give me, cards and letters and stuff like that and we're moving rn so i had to clear some stuff out and obv i keep this shit hidden cause i dont want my parents to see and read them.
i have two cards from a girl i had a crush on in seventh grade, one of the cards is for my 14th (8th grade) birthday, the other one doesn't say the date but its a birthday card as well.
and holy fuck does the 14th bday card have effort put into it its kind of insane. she drew and colored in emojis at the end of some sentences; sparkles, crying laughing, smiling and heart emojies. ages 11-14 was when i was really depressed and contemplated the logistics of suicide every day, the only reason i didnt do it was cause i was a firm believer in Islam and thought i'd go to hell forever if i did it.
the card talks about that a lot as well, before she says anything, she says "whatever i'm about to say aren't lies. they are true af" then goes on to say that she loves me, no matter how much i call myself stupid, she'll always love me for who i am. says i'm a really good friend and she appreciates me, and that she'll always be there for me, and she'd love to keep me company.
it's a handmade card and the cover has a gift box opening with multi colored confetti coming out of it, all that she must've drawn and colored. i'm kind of losing my mind she put so much effort and time and thought into this its insane. the gift box has a ribbon that wraps around it and makes loops at the top, the classic way. this is genuinely such a cool card, she was 15 when she made this. i remember cause she was 2 years older than me, i remember her burthday every year even if it wasn't in my calender (i've never deleted anyone's birthday).
i have cards from younger cousins declaring their love for me and how excited they are to have me there. i have a card also for my 14th birthday from someone i didnt think i was that close to, but she knew i liked harry potter and she made a harry potter themed card for me, in the style of a hogwarts letter, with illustrations of symbols (snitch, scar, broom, cauldron, witch hat, flying key, 9 3/4, wand, and quidditch hoops), she drew the fucking hogwarts crest inside the letter (separate), wrote out the fonts. she wrote out each letter in idk what font, there's three separate fonts on the page and one of them is cursive that looks very painstakingly done.
idk maybe this is my love language or whatever but i'm about to cry at the amount of love and effort put into these cards and letters. i was so loved, my friends loved me so fucking much. they drew illustrations on pages and colored them in and told me not to worry about them and that they loved me.
when i was 12-14, i was very obviously depressed and wrote a lot about suicide and couldnt keep it inside me. i kept a diary that i'd let the first girl read. i'd actually kind of insist on her reading it which is very embarrassing to look back on.
i did appreciate these letters back then as well, almost as much as i am rn, but,,,, idk man. i know this is why i kept these letters. i'm not in contact with either of these people anymore, and i don't think i want to be.
i feel so strange im pretty sure its cause i need to sleep.
i took out these letters/cards cause they were hidden in the same place where i keep the letters that i wrote to my future self when i was 12, which, since we're moving, i needed to figure out a place to hide (my suitcase with a lock) while we move so nobody sees them accidentally when they move the furniture or something. i was going to burn them (not actually, i just rip it sometimes, wet it then crumple it into a ball, makes it unreadable and that's the goal) but lmfaoo i dont think im going to anymore.
i dont currently intend on ever throwing away those cards which makes me wonder how long i'll actually keep the "welcome" cards i got from my cousins and birthday cards i got for my 14th birthday. i dont have any cards after that for any birthdays cause i dont have any irl friends anymore, they're all in different countries and online).
i also have drawings that a younger cousin did for me some years back, her art's so fucking good now, and these are still quite good considering her age. i was really into harry potter at that age and one of the drawing is hp themed, it's just of all the characters.
i really like taylor swift now, and last year this cousin did a drawing of her for me as well which i've pinned on my board lol.
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youmakethelight · 4 months ago
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I need scenes where Daryl explicitly shows that he loves Carol for all of who she is as a human. I know we know it, even though that feeling has been fading since the spin-off and even in parts of season 11. But I reallyyy need at least one scene where Daryl catches Carol doing something distinctly Carol and looks at her for a *prolonged* time with unambiguous love all over his face. And then he actively shows and tells her. Like the scenes where Aaron and Rosita see Carol putting herself through pain to kill the horse to feed Alexandria. I need to know that Daryl sees that in her. And I need to see him radiate intense love in her direction because she fucking needs it.
#i just feel like carol has spent years and years and years being the most selfless and loving human on the planet#and she has no idea how fuck beautiful of a human she is#even though her family love her they also punish her for her flaws and its gross honestly#but you know who never did that#daryl#and you know who now feels like he sometimes does that#you guessed it#and i just feel like shes trapped in this state of daryl being the only person who always loved her unconditionally and just hoping for...#for that version of him to come back again#but shes not asking for it bc she doesnt think she deserves it#but she hopes#and it feels like he isnt there for her#not really#i need her to feel loved again#even when they reunited in france it just felt like she was relieved to have found him but at terminus it was more like joy to realise...#how much he loved her#when does she get to have that again#even the shocked look she gave during “im the one you tell” when she realised he actually WANTS to be there for her i'd like that again#our man daryl just built all of this reassurance that he loves and supports her and then when shes at her most lost he withdraws it#like what the fuck#i just want carol happy so much#or just LOVED i just want her to feel truly loved#bc right now i feel like she feels like people just tolerate her#can anyone honestly tell me they watched tboc and feel like carol feels unwaiveringly loved and supported throughout that series#bc wow#silly me but i think we all deserve more than what she got there#caryl#the book of carol#tboc#carol peletier
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mossterunderthebed · 20 days ago
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#for Jin-chul#specifically for jin-chul as i am writing him in the fic im working on#if u guys want a title or snippets u should tell me bc i will give them to u but only if i know theres like. interest. u feel me?#also keep in mind it def won't be done for. a while. im unfortunately v busy rn and abt to become even busier. haha. but i can give nibbles#anyway back to the Weave. if this one had a title it would probably be Woo Jin-chul and the Dreamcatcher of the Past. or smthg like that.#in the sense of getting caught on#its not that he hasnt let go its that he remembers and nothing else is quite as good as that remembering#grief has made a home in his heart and lives there like a tumor but hed rather rip out his own heart than let anyone cure him of the cancer#so he just dreams of the things he cant have anymore and keeps them safe out of reach and never lets anyone else touch them#he gets hung up but also forces himself to keep pushing forward because if he doesnt he'll die- mentally and emotionally yes#but also physically because the world they live in now is one ruled by power and cruelty and its not safe to live any other way#jin-chul isnt safe. he makes himself unsafe so that other ppl have a chance to BE safe. but he remembers when he was and part of him#cant move past that. cant stop longing for it with his whole heart. its v sad of him honestly#i think thats why Sung Jinwoo's actions as well as the man himself meant so much to him. because here was this person who was SO powerful#but instead of using that power within the new system to start oppressing others and propel himself to the top or be casually cruel#he kept a sense of self and honor and duty. he wasnt always 'righteous' but he did truly try to save lives when they were in danger#and never lost sight of the value of those lives. to jin-chul someone like that must've felt like a miracle after all that time#and been something he deeply cherished and coveted personally.#even if they didnt know each other that well im sure that sung jinwoo's presence mustve been something that crossed jin-chul's mind often#and reassured him.#anyway. jinchul and jinwoo's relationship is just something i think about a lot.#i love them so much. literally nomming on them as we speak#SL#solo leveling#Woo Jin-chul#woo jinchul#sung jinwoo#web weaving#also there is a truly appalling lack of fanart of my baby#im not an artist guys. i cannot fill this hole in the fandom. TT devastating
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toxifoxx · 8 months ago
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fighting the urge to make a rant post . but once you notice you really never stop noticing!!
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storm-of-feathers · 1 year ago
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damn why did i stop being an alcoholic being drunk rules actually i dont feel a single OUNCE of my burdens. i just feel the wine. and its pink.
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little-mimikyuwu · 2 months ago
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#i feel so fucked rn#like i just feel so alone#like whole heartedly alone#i actually feel more alone than b4 this sucks ass#ik hes not reading these so i can say whatever the hell i want#mainly that fig is a fucking asshole#and dear god i know im not important in this house but holy hell its never felt so blatant b4#like damn thats sure a way 2 make me feel fucking hated by someone i consider a friend#and i cant even feel comfortable around my god??? fuck you#like fuck your world and your hobbies all it ended up in was pain anyway#like yea real nice of u 2 just start fucking saying shit- especially shit YOU werent even apart of#WITHOUT ANY DAMN EXPLANATION??? like fuck me thanks for making me have 2 feel like i must plead my case 2 the court 2 not lose a friendship#while you say SO much about everyone ive ever loved or cared about- and say nothing about how youve hurt me- or they have or anyone has-#you werent apart of *most* of this if not any of some of it- like- the fuck is wrong with you??? that was my business and people you never#even fucking met you dickwad- you really just threw me under the bus entirely and for what?#well- ig for a new partner#god isnt it great having exe's who will gladly hurt me 2 high hell and talk about how horrible i am#truly i shouldnt let dominic anywhere near me the guys great and i do not want him 2 get worse as well#i know life's better without me and i wish i wasn't front stuck- the kids mean the damn world to me though and i wanna get better
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sideblogformentalhealtshit · 7 months ago
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Hm. So am I the only one who 'likes' having ARFID?
Like don't get me wrong it's horrible it's caused so much damage to me but also like. I've had it my whole life I can't imagine a version of myself without it and I wouldn't want to not have it.
It's as big and fundamental a part of me as my autism. Sure there's bad parts but it's what makes me me, and without it I would cease to be me and become a whole nother person.
I've always found it a 'fun' part of me, a unique thing I was completely alone in most of my life, something that made me different in a funky way.
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bushido-jack · 2 years ago
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//my favorite thing lately has been scrubbing the internet for decades old samurai jack edits and amvs and watching them. there’s so much love for samurai jack in them, faith that he would be back to finish his tale one day, and it fits perfectly with the time it came out lol. the edits aren’t as great as they would be with technology nowadays and the music is often linkin park but there’s always an open love for Jack and the series in there. and there’s something about seeing people love Jack even when it’s not at it’s most angsty, when it’s just seasons 1-4, without the novelty, without anything else to focus on but what makes Jack Jack.
#『 out of robes 』#samurai jack#ok to rb#//I love season 5 but man. it’s so saturated it feels like people forget that’s not Jack’s natural state#//Jack isn’t John Wick. weirdly controversial statement lol#//jack at his core is an honorable gentle kind and good man. the gruff and sharp exterior was forged and is necessary#//but he doesn’t LIKE fighting. he wants peace. he seeks a peaceful solution before he fights#//he’s an extremely well trained and steely warrior don’t get me wrong. he kicks ass and he takes a measure of pride in his abilities#//but s5 is the furthest he is from himself. the show even acknowledges that. Jack loses himself (understandably)#//it’s hard to put into words idk I feel like I’m going in all directions here but like#//the essence is that there’s a difference in the way jack fights and survives in s1-4 and the fighting and survival of s5#//there’s a balance there. Jack hasn’t gotten rid of the kind young man underneath the warrior he fights USING that#//meanwhile in season 5 he thinks that’s lost forever and loses himself in being a weapon and brutal survival#//there’s something that significantly lessens the impact of s5 when all people focus on is Jack at his worst#//ignoring how he started#//bc the thing that’s significant to me about samurai jack ISNT the incredible fight scenes and badass moments#//it’s the quiet. it’s the gentleness. it’s the tenacity to do good no matter how much BAD is done to you.#//no matter how much you have to sacrifice. refusing to leave anyone behind#//there was truly nothing like the original samurai Jack series and there never will be again.#//a main character in an action series who is quiet gentle honorable respectful and kind and stubbornly hopeful no matter what#//the fact that Jack isn’t what you’d expect from someone in his position. that even when he stumbles even when he’s angry#//he refuses to let others get hurt. he can be grouchy and prickly and stoic but he’s still showing he cares through his actions.#//the thing that is most important in Jack’s story is always that he doesn’t stay broken. that every sacrifice he made#//every loss he felt and everytime he helped others at his own expense wasn’t for nothing#//that every single action he took sowed the seeds of hope that meant he would be lifted up in return#//as Jack’s father said ‘your castle is strong.’
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landofgay · 10 months ago
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I love you THC I love you CBD I love you CBN I love you CBG I love you CBC I love you all the other minor cannabinoids. I love you cannabis. :^)
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medicasino · 1 year ago
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i'm seriously tired of this like,,, constant feeling of never really feeling important to anyone. and it's like, it's 100% on me, it is 100% my fault i feel this way but,,, eugh
#blaire.txt#it isnt anyone's fault at all im just like super unwell LOL#its like. i mourn the friendships where i genuinely felt wanted. because it was ME who fucked them up and now i just feel legitimately like#no matter how many people i befriend and burn through it's like i can never ever feel truly wanted or like im at all important to them#and when i DO#when i do feel wanted and important its always so short-lived and they move on to someone else#and im just like really tired of wanting to be loved and never actually feeling loved#every friendship i was a part of where i felt like i was genuinely important or wanted has completely eroded and its like. all my fault and#im just. really fucking tired of never feeling loved like ever#and its not anyones fault its not like people are mistreating me#I AM THE PROBLEM. I am the reason i feel unloved#because theres something wrong with me and i can never ever feel like im loved even if people say they love me!!! it always feels so hollow#and every time i see my friends get along better with other people i always feel so fucking jealous and its like its such a me problem#but its so hard to get out of this mindset because its one i've been trapped in for YEARS#i've dug this hole and now i lay in it because there is no way out and im so. tired. i just want to be loved#i want to be important to someone i want to be someone's special person their number one and its like#that'll never happen to me!!!! because I AM THE REASON no one views me that way!!!! Im unstable messy reactionary lazy and mean#and so fucking anxious about every little thing that like of FUCKING course no one would love me!!!! loving me is HARD because#i am not MEANT to be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am meant to be hated or seen as disposable!!!!#ugh im just so fucking sick of feeling disposable.#vent#ask to tag
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samwisefamgee · 2 years ago
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god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer
#you dont even fuxking know#the number of. literally impossible coincidences that have taken place to make my life just so much shittier lately#i have been sooo strong ive written like two dozen text posts just bitching and bitching about the sheer fuxking insanity of it and i only#posted like one of them im doing so good being so strong#that said i want to fucking die today lol this shit is melting my brain#it just never ends#the past two weeks have just been... so bad lol#i havent been able to see my bank balance in weeks i just know im so in the fucking hole it doesnt even matter#i havent had a working phone in a month#my family just vacationed in hawaii and im living in a moldy trailer#and the physical and mental health just go and go and go#and the mold grows and groes and grows#my friend offered me a top of the line pc for free and it felt like offering a homeless guy who loves music a grand piano#like yeah lemme just keep that under the bridge downtown where i stay lol#itll be fine#its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol#might fuck around and get addicted to a third substance in light of hope being a fool's errand in a truly random universe#life isnt guarunteed to get better no matter how long you wait or how hard you try actually and that is a hard fucking truth for everyone#alcohol is free and can keep your mind off how much mold & dust you breathe daily & breathed in the past 2 years & thats also a hard truth#also reading this i need to clarify in case anyone else reads this shitsheet. i do not want to vacation in hawaii. colonizer shit#what i wouldnt fucking do for just a week up by priest lake tho :(
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funlovinzara · 7 months ago
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Monster trio rejecting you Pt.3
‘Makeup’
Warnings: Fluff, arguing in Zoros part
———
Luffy
You and Luffy both talked and had a deeper understanding of eachother, you were in love but Luffy never experienced that nor did he know that was what he was feeling.
He truly did love you in the end, he never even knew he broke your heart in the first place.
“Y/nnnn come on come on come onnn. We have to go!!! You aren’t still talking to Ace are you?”
“No no im not, im coming give me a minute!”
You were still changing to head off on the ship, Luffy being as impatient as he was couldn’t wait. He busted into your room and snatched you out while you were still fixing your hair
“Lets go!! We…I cant go anywhere without you!!”
You both got off the ship and you see Luffy run off into the forest and quickly return with a weird looking flower in his hand.
“For you!!”
He places it in your hair and giggles, “you aren’t ever leaving me!!”
——
Sanji
Sanji decided to take the time to speak to you and apologize, Hes just now realizing that what he said didn’t respect a lady at all, he didnt know how to win your heart back.
Especially with brook being your new best friend, it rages him to see how more comfortable you are with brook than him.
“Y/n.”
“Huh? Yeah?” You turn around to see sanji standing a few feet behind you.
“I need to talk to you…im sorry about what i said. I think i do really like you. I cant see you talking to other men even a skeleton for goodness sake.”
“What.😨”
There was silence as you both stared at eachother
“What?”
“What.”
“Huh?”
“What-.”
All this time you’ve spent trying to get over him all shattered into pieces. Not that he isnt attractive to you anymore its just what he said was a red flag, but since hes apologizing its better than nothing.
You think its better to build up a better friendship before you get with him.
“We can try. But it wont be so easy for you.”
“Really y/n..? You’re sure right? What i said, i didn’t expect you to…”
You gave him a hug, it relieved so much tension. Now you both were on good terms and no one can get through the bond you two were going to build. As for brook, obviously your still going to talk to him! Hes your bestie!!
However he was a around the corner watching the whole situation, he gave Sanji a lecture beforehand. He didn’t think he would actually take action though. He is proud, and hoping things go well.
—-
Zoro
Hes furious at the sight, not that he cares but he does??
The man turns his head slightly and he sees that its..Trafalgar D. Law????
Hes even more ticked. He didnt think Law was a dangerous person but he didn’t want YOU to be around him.
“Y/n???”
He said loud enough for you and Law to hear, you both turn your heads.
“Ah Roronoa Zoro.”
“C’mon, were leaving.”
“What? No why?”
“Theres no point of us being here, we have to go back to the crew.”
“I…huh? I don’t understand.”
“What do you understand?” He says snapping back.
“You live up to your reputation, Zoro.”
“Shut it mushroom hat, lets go.” He forcefully grabs your hand and you try to wiggle free. “Zoro let me go!! What the heck are you doing-!”
You haven’t even gotten to exchange contacts with Law, luckily while you weren’t looking he snuck it in your pocket.
You both exit the auction house and you violently snatch your arm away from Zoros grip. “ZORO!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
All you get is silence from him.
“I cant be happy just for once, you rejected me and yet you’re pulling me away from my only chance of ever getting someone who will like me here!! What the heck is your problem??!”
“Y/n i cant let you do that because i love you. I look like a jerk i KNOW already. But i need you.”
This situation got even more weird. You haven’t completely gotten over him to be honest, but this was so unexpected.
“We can talk about this later. We have a crew remember.”
He walks up to you and looks into your eyes for a second before landing a peck on your forehead.
“I cant let anyone have you. Now, are you gonna take that number out your pocket or what?”
——-
IF YALL ASK FOR A PART 4 IM GONNA CRY.😭 this is the last part periodd
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im-so-normal-iswear · 10 days ago
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triple S x celebrity! reader thats in a band. They constantly get bombarded by fans whenever they go out and deal with creepy fans all the time, but one day it goes a little too far when a weird fan somehow finds readers home and breaks in, how would they deal with it? (You can choose whether they are yandere or not) I absolutely love your writing!! Take your time
A/n: i just realized that for some of you, or like anyone that isnt in California my update schedule is really weird, since usually i post at like 9-11 pm since i have time to at those points, but for most people im actually posting the next day bc of time zones.
Triple S x Celebrity!Reader
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The flashing lights of cameras were nothing new. Neither were the overwhelming crowds, the hands reaching out, the screams of your name blending into the air. Being in a band meant attention, whether you wanted it or not. You had long since accepted that privacy was a luxury you could rarely afford. But even knowing that, you never expected it to escalate this far.
At first, it had been like any other outing. You had been out with your bandmates, grabbing food after a long rehearsal. The restaurant was high-end and supposedly discreet, but that didn't stop fans from finding you. The moment you stepped outside, a swarm surrounded you, cameras flashing, voices shouting over one another in desperation.
"Look here, please!"
"Can you sign this?"
"Marry me!"
You had smiled, signed a few autographs, and tried to keep moving. The three had been there, of course, Sonic, Shadow, and Silver, your closest friends (and, depending on who you asked, your unofficial bodyguards). They had always been protective, standing close whenever the crowds got too aggressive, making sure no one got too handsy. Sonic had taken the lead, flashing his signature cocky grin as he casually redirected fans with smooth conversation. Silver had done his best to help, though he had an awkward way of handling social situations. Shadow, on the other hand, had simply glared at anyone who got too close, his mere presence enough to keep the more unhinged fans at bay.
It had been manageable. Until it wasn't.
A hand had grabbed your wrist, too tight. You had tried to pull away, but they had yanked. Sonic was the first to react, prying their fingers off of you with surprising force. "Hey, back off!" he snapped, his usual playful demeanor gone. Silver had immediately placed himself between you and the fan, his expression unusually serious, while Shadow had stepped forward with a look so dark it made the offender shrink back in fear.
"Try that again," Shadow had said, his voice deadly quiet, "and see what happens."
The fan had scurried away, and you had managed to escape with their help. Just another day in the life of a celebrity, right?
You had laughed it off later, pretending it hadn't shaken you. But when you got home that night, something felt… off.
Your apartment was in a secure building, meant to keep obsessive fans and paparazzi at bay. But as soon as you stepped inside, a chill ran down your spine. The air felt wrong, like someone else had been there.
Then you saw it.
Your couch cushions were slightly out of place. A framed picture on your shelf had been moved. But what truly made your stomach drop was the note sitting on your kitchen counter. A single piece of paper, with words scrawled in red ink:
"I finally found you. You belong to me."
Your breath hitched. Every instinct screamed at you to run, but before you could even move, you heard it, the faintest creak of a floorboard.
You weren't alone.
Panic surged through you as you backed away toward the door. But just as your hand reached for the handle, something moved in the shadows of your hallway. A figure stepped forward, disheveled, wild-eyed, grinning.
"You're even more beautiful up close," the intruder whispered.
Your stomach twisted.
Before they could take another step, the door behind you burst open.
Sonic was the first inside, moving faster than you could even process. He grabbed you by the wrist and yanked you behind him, shielding you with his body. His usual carefree smirk was nowhere to be found. Instead, his eyes were sharp, his muscles tense.
"Who the hell are you?" Sonic demanded, his voice low and dangerous.
The intruder took a step back, startled by the sudden dangerous, but then their gaze flickered to you, and their smile widened. "You're mine," they breathed. "I know you feel it too-"
They didn't get to finish that sentence.
Shadow moved in next, and before the intruder could react, he had them pinned against the wall, one hand gripping their throat. "You broke into their home, Give me one good reason why I shouldn't break your neck right now"
The fan gasped, struggling against Shadows grip, their bravado crumbling in an instant. Their eyes darted wildly, looking for an escape, but there was none. Not with his merciless glare burning into them.
Silver followed close behind, his expression unreadable, "You don't get to do this," Silver said quietly, his usual softness nowhere to be found. "You dont 'own them'."
The intruder whimpered. "I-I just wanted-"
"Shut up." Shadow's voice was cold, his patience nonexistent. "You don't get to talk."
Your hands were shaking. You hadn't even realized it until Sonic gently grabbed one of them, squeezing reassuringly. His touch was warm, grounding. "Hey," he murmured, turning to look at you. "You're okay. We got you."
You swallowed hard, nodding, but your heart was still pounding.
The next few moments were a blur. Sonic called the authorities. Silver took place for Shadow, using his own powers to hold the intruder in place.
When the police arrived, the stalker was hauled away, still muttering about how they "belonged" to you. The officers assured you that they would be charged with trespassing and harassment, though that did little to ease your nerves.
Even after they were gone, your apartment still felt tainted.
"You're not staying here," Shadow said bluntly, as if the decision had already been made.
You blinked at him. "What?"
"You heard him," Sonic chimed in. "You’re coming with us. No way in hell you're spending the night alone after that."
Silver nodded, his expression softer now. "We just… We don't want anything like this to happen again."
You hesitated, but the thought of staying in your apartment, alone, after what had just happened, made your stomach churn. With a quiet sigh, you nodded.
That night, you stayed at their place. Shadow took first watch, sitting by the door like a sentry, his arms crossed and eyes sharp. Sonic did his best to lighten the mood, cracking jokes, pretending like everything was normal, but even he stayed close, keeping an eye on you. Silver, ever the worrier, made you tea, using his powers to float a blanket over your shoulders.
"You're safe now," Silver murmured, and for the first time since stepping into your apartment that night, you actually believed it.
Because if there was one thing you knew for certain, it was this:
No one, not a stalker, not a crazed fan, not anyone, was getting past them. Not while you were under their protection.
A/n: i love elipses, you can probably tell that by now.
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s0apmactav1sh · 11 months ago
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Its literally 4am where I am and I just had this thought.
Widowed!King!Price x Devoted!Knight!Reader.
King Price who lost his husband recently and is now going through the motion of the Royal Selection to find a suitor that's fit enough to become the kings consort of England. But Price is quickly bored of this believing he will never find anyone as loving and caring as his late husband was.
Knight!Reader who has so graciously taken the role as Prices offical guard and notices the way his king is faltering while sitting upon his throne. But he just cant have that. The man he has devoted himself to, mind body and soul, looking so defeated in a chair that hes usually so highly pearched in.
Knight!Reader who somehow convinces King!Price to rest for the night. Leading him from the throne room to the large chambers where the kings bed is perfectly made up and right in the middle of the room. Price who climbs into bed before looking over at his guard and asking the very simple question of:
"Do you have someone waiting for you in your chambers?"
King!Price who waits for an answer not knowing the mini battle of demons knight!reader is facing in his head. There was never anyone waiting for him. No wife or husband, not even a pet. How could there be? All of his devotion goes towards his king, the only man that matters because in Knight!Readers eyes his only purpose is to live and die for his king. And so it shocks Prices when his answer is:
"There is no one, your highness. My only purpose in this life is to serve you. And if it comes to it, die for you aswell"
Of course Price is fasinated with this. Not believe that his knight had never held someone, never had anyone for himself. But he cant help the small grin that comes to his face as he feels the same as him, without his husband he had no one. And in that moment he couldnt help but continue with small jabs at the poor knight who was only trying to do his job:
"So you've never had anyone? Do you not wish for it? The comfort of another, the touch of skin off skin? Why is that you have no one, tell me soldier."
Its an order to knight!reader. To reveal to his king the darkest truth about him. But to reader its an oath he lived by and under no circumstances would he ever betray it. Because betraying the oath would be like walking in the firey pits of hell as a man full of sins.
"I am bruised and burned. Scratched and scarred. Devoted to the crown and loyal to its king. There isnt a soul out there that would want a man like me. I am merely a soldier with nothing else but my title as the kings guard to live off of"
And that set of words has Price crumbling. Just knowing how devoted he truly was underneath the layers of seriousness and gruffness. It was like he had managed to pull away the toughest layer of dirt, grime and blood and reveal the mans real skin underneath. The skin of which was littered with the bruises, burns scars and scratched he spoke of. But also the skin of the man who was the perfect fit to the king.
_
I have no clue what this is, and if its any good but hopefully it is. I am aware this is an alex keller blog but this idea was to perfect for Price.
@rodolfoparras
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lostinlovingrevery · 1 month ago
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Just a thought and no offense but I think Logan just wants to be in love and feel loved in return.
(This isnt proofread and came out as rambling so have fun trying to read it and decipher it! 😅)
So WE ALL know that Logan can be flirty, and that he may have had a period where he was a bit of a manwhore (*cough* 70s Logan *cough*)
I feel like that period though, and any other flings, one night stands, etc whatever was less out of lust and more of a desperation to feel SOME kind of human connection bc the mans so lonely and has been treated like a soldier, a weapon for so long that hes desperate for human connection, even if it makes him end up feeling depraved afterwards. Post-nut clarity wakes him up next to some girl he met at a bar, and guilt sinks its teeth into him because he doesnt even know her name, much less actually LIKE her. The man was born in the 1800s, he may have grown with time but you cannot tell me theres not some inkling of being a gentleman- and wanting to find someone you truly love, hidden in there somewhere. I think overtime he may fall into this routine, believing he needed to be a walking sex magnet, gruff, cocky, whatever have you because hes convinced its the only way he can have a connection with someone, even if its for a few passionate moments under bedsheets, and an awkward "that was nice. Bye"
It only fuels his self hatred, convincing him that he really his just an animal, looking to get his sick desires out, eat, fuck, sleep, survive.
When we see him in the X movies, as a cage fighter he is brutal and rough and he doesnt seem to have a caring bone in his body yet he still manages to find himself caring about this young girl who stowawayed in his trailer, and does help her, even if he acts like this version of logan he created. Someone who doesnt care. But he cares. A lot.
Its not until he meets YOU, that he starts to wonder if he got it all wrong. Kind, beautiful, smart YOU.
I fully believe that logan just wants a partner. One night stands, flings, what have you, were just him lying to himself, desperate to feel something other than hate. After he lost his memories, and he began just wandering, the concept of love was lost on him. And lust wasnt there anymore either. He was approached by women, perfectly fine, pretty women, all the time during his time cage fighting, bars, etc. He turned them all away- completely opposite of logan 30-40 years ago (my timing probs not right on xmen lol) who was convinced the only way he was living was if he had ass next to him every night he went to sleep because he was lonely. This version of logan, lost, angry, wanted nothing to do with people. Some of it the repressed feelings coming out from his past that he doesnt even remember. He was convinced then that he had to be alone. Becoming a lone wolf that bared his teeth at anyone who tried to pet it. Secretly though, deep down although he wouldnt admit it, there was that deep desire, that he always felt in his 200 years, that he just wanted to find his mate. He'd call soulmates bullshit if you asked him, but the moment he meets you, hed know that it was real, and that maybe god cursed (gifted) him the ability of healing and practical immortality just so he could find you. And hed do it over and over again, the pain and suffering and loneliness, if it meant you would be the endgoal.
Logan is a pack animal. He needed a family, to protect, and cherish. When he meets and ends up at the x-men, his demeanor and attitude changes quickly to something similar to a dog that snaps at you when you pet it only for it to whine and whimper "im sorry, please dont hate me, i just dont know how to accept love.". Hes still wary, because hed never KNOWN a family before. Put aside his memory loss, the closest things he had to a family was a creep of a brother, and a woman who said she loved him under false pretenses (i still dont like you kayla even if you say it was real). He barely knew his parents, and even then that was a lie because his father wasnt even his biological father. Yeah, Logans life was pretty damn lonely, so its no wonder the man is cautious of anybody and anything.
The moment you come into his life though, that bitterness, anger, and meaningless flirting goes right out the window. Hes serious about you. Hes usually cautious, nervous around people but he meets you and its almost like he threw all those imaginary rules he has for himself out of the window.
Look at how he was with Jean in the movies. He barely knew the woman, they barely shared ANY lines in the movie yet he was almost completely devoted (dont get me started on that storyline). Trust didnt come easy to the wolverine. And Kayla- their relationship just shows how much he wants love and to be loved. I never seen origins but a lot of gifsets and read the synopsis of the plot, but i think he had a feeling with Kayla he couldnt trust (remember how he says hell never go against his gut again?) But he so badly just wanted that connection he ignored all the warning signs and did everything to build a life with this woman who not only tricked him, but put him through unimaginable pain both physically and mentally. (Look I REALLY dont like kayla but i do feel bad for her because stryker did have her sister captive). I know stryker is the evil mastermind here, but god imagine trying to find love with someone, only for it all to be a farce, even if they claimed they did love you the entire time- the intentions from the very beginning was far from love.
Oh but when he is in love with you. From the moment he met you, it wasnt love at first sight exactly, more like a feeling that you were it. Hes all about you. He sticks around, under the pretense that he just needed to make some money first, doing some missions for charles, keep an eye on rogue. He cant admit its because he wants to stay close to you. Hes like a feral cat taking shelter in your shed. Stays away at first, cautious of your spspspsp, but curious nonetheless. Completely ignores the first bowl of food you put down for it- or so you thought because when you came back it was completely devoured. It takes weeks of food and spspsps before it finally warms up to you, but after that first contact with your hand and its head- good luck ever getting rid of it. Not that youd want to 😊
Logan becomes a shadow to you, once you become something akin to friends. (Its really more than that but no ones addressed it). He teases you and flirts with you, and its something you think he does with everyone, until Ororo tells you that he only does it to you. Sometimes he just sits in your company, other times hes curious about what youre working on, not wanting to start the convo, but does things like leering over your shoulder (which he may or may not be doing just to he close to you and get a good whiff of the smell of your hair). He stresses when you go on missions without him. He slowly opens up about his past to you when he begins to get his memories back. Trusting only you (and maybe charles) with the truth ablut the man he used to be, and still is.
When your feelings finally do come out in the open though, however it happens, that first kiss, the first time you make love, etc etc. Logans a different man. I mean, hes still that cocky, grumpy person we all know and love. But he carried himself differently. Hes confident and wiser, hes comfortable, and hes happy. He found a home, his pack. And maybe after countless conversations about his past, the things hes done, and the comforting words and understandings you give him, he starts to learn that he isnt so bad, because if you love him, YOU, the most wonderful person hes ever known in 200 years, love him despite all of his violence and hatred and slight whoreish tendecies back in the 70s...then he must be alright.
He doesnt need to worry about his past anymore, when hes got you, right there with him, promising a loving future together.
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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What its like kissing the creepypasta characters
excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh
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SLENDERMAN:
if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts
SPLENDORMAN:
very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10
EYELESS JACK:
very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10
LAUGHING JACK:
has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him
MASKY/TIM:
nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it
now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man
HOODIE/BRIAN:
hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him
very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10
PUPPETEER:
so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10
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