#its also why i keep these letters and cards

[paintedpineleaf]

i keep everything that people give me, cards and letters and stuff like that and we're moving rn so i had to clear some stuff out and obv i keep this shit hidden cause i dont want my parents to see and read them.

i have two cards from a girl i had a crush on in seventh grade, one of the cards is for my 14th (8th grade) birthday, the other one doesn't say the date but its a birthday card as well.

and holy fuck does the 14th bday card have effort put into it its kind of insane. she drew and colored in emojis at the end of some sentences; sparkles, crying laughing, smiling and heart emojies. ages 11-14 was when i was really depressed and contemplated the logistics of suicide every day, the only reason i didnt do it was cause i was a firm believer in Islam and thought i'd go to hell forever if i did it.

the card talks about that a lot as well, before she says anything, she says "whatever i'm about to say aren't lies. they are true af" then goes on to say that she loves me, no matter how much i call myself stupid, she'll always love me for who i am. says i'm a really good friend and she appreciates me, and that she'll always be there for me, and she'd love to keep me company.

it's a handmade card and the cover has a gift box opening with multi colored confetti coming out of it, all that she must've drawn and colored. i'm kind of losing my mind she put so much effort and time and thought into this its insane. the gift box has a ribbon that wraps around it and makes loops at the top, the classic way. this is genuinely such a cool card, she was 15 when she made this. i remember cause she was 2 years older than me, i remember her burthday every year even if it wasn't in my calender (i've never deleted anyone's birthday).

i have cards from younger cousins declaring their love for me and how excited they are to have me there. i have a card also for my 14th birthday from someone i didnt think i was that close to, but she knew i liked harry potter and she made a harry potter themed card for me, in the style of a hogwarts letter, with illustrations of symbols (snitch, scar, broom, cauldron, witch hat, flying key, 9 3/4, wand, and quidditch hoops), she drew the fucking hogwarts crest inside the letter (separate), wrote out the fonts. she wrote out each letter in idk what font, there's three separate fonts on the page and one of them is cursive that looks very painstakingly done.

idk maybe this is my love language or whatever but i'm about to cry at the amount of love and effort put into these cards and letters. i was so loved, my friends loved me so fucking much. they drew illustrations on pages and colored them in and told me not to worry about them and that they loved me.

when i was 12-14, i was very obviously depressed and wrote a lot about suicide and couldnt keep it inside me. i kept a diary that i'd let the first girl read. i'd actually kind of insist on her reading it which is very embarrassing to look back on.

i did appreciate these letters back then as well, almost as much as i am rn, but,,,, idk man. i know this is why i kept these letters. i'm not in contact with either of these people anymore, and i don't think i want to be.

i feel so strange im pretty sure its cause i need to sleep.

i took out these letters/cards cause they were hidden in the same place where i keep the letters that i wrote to my future self when i was 12, which, since we're moving, i needed to figure out a place to hide (my suitcase with a lock) while we move so nobody sees them accidentally when they move the furniture or something. i was going to burn them (not actually, i just rip it sometimes, wet it then crumple it into a ball, makes it unreadable and that's the goal) but lmfaoo i dont think im going to anymore.

i dont currently intend on ever throwing away those cards which makes me wonder how long i'll actually keep the "welcome" cards i got from my cousins and birthday cards i got for my 14th birthday. i dont have any cards after that for any birthdays cause i dont have any irl friends anymore, they're all in different countries and online).

i also have drawings that a younger cousin did for me some years back, her art's so fucking good now, and these are still quite good considering her age. i was really into harry potter at that age and one of the drawing is hp themed, it's just of all the characters.

i really like taylor swift now, and last year this cousin did a drawing of her for me as well which i've pinned on my board lol.

[waywardsalt]

mmmmm

[starlovesganyu]

love letters!

❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀

them receiving a handwritten note at work!

various characters x gn!reader

characters: fu xuan, kujou sara, ganyu

warnings: none

a/n: idk why i didn't start writing hsr earlier

also another short one sry

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

fu xuan -`✮´-

• lucky for her, the letter is a similar pink to her hair, so when it falls out of her bag as she's walking to her office, her coworkers just assume it's a normal letter

• until they notice the big red heart sealing it shut

• she tries to keep herself composed and professional, but the red creeping into her face is unstoppable

• whispers and snickers and be heard from the onlookers in the commission-seeing the master diviner flustered is a rare sight indeed

"quiet everyone! let's get back to work!"

• when she enters the safety of her office, she'll gently open the letter

• the first line already has her blushing uncontrollably

• when she returns home, she tries to act stern and tell you how unprofessional this was, but just seeing and holding the letter again has her all red and holding back a smile

• completely crumbles and just hugs you tightly and shoves her face into your chest

• mumbles a "thank you" and "i love you" while staring at the ground with her forehead resting on your chest

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

kujou sara -`✮´-

• upon seeing the pink letter carefully tucked into her training bag, she quickly glances around to make sure that no one is watching

• gently tears open the envelope to reveal a very childish valentines day card with pop-out hearts and everything

• can't contain her smile as she reads about everything you love about her

• unfortunately becomes too engrossed in the letter and doesn't notice the soldiers peeking around the corner of the barracks

• a click of a kamera gives away their location

• she's promptly pulled back into reality and quickly (and carefully) hides the letter back into her bag and chases after the soldiers to reprimand them

its too late

• has trouble focusing on her training the rest of the day because she can't stop thinking about you

"t-thanks for the letter S/O, but did you really have to give to me during training?"

• places the letter in a secret compartment in her desk

• wraps her arms around you extra tight when you two cuddle that night <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

ganyu -`✮´-

• she thought it would be another normal day at the yuehai pavilion, but when ningguang walks into her office with her hands behind her back and the smirk on her face, it all goes out he window

"looks like you have a delivery ganyu..."

• the bright red qilin quickly snatches the pink envelope and shoves a laughing ningguang out the door

• after composing herself and double checking the door to make sure it's locked, she gently opens the envelope

• will be blushing from head to toe, the tips of her ears practically steaming as she reads through your letter

• takes her a while to read, as every other line she has to put the letter down to quietly squeal and kick her feet like a schoolgirl

• carefully packs the letter back into the envelope and places it on her desk, away from anything that could damage it

• when she leaves the pavilion, ningguang gives her that smirk again, and she has to fight the urge to throw a scroll at ningguang with all her adeptal strength

• extra shy when she's around you the next couple days

• also will be extra cuddly when you share a bed!

thanks for reading!

[bluemantics]

here’s a list of all my fics! i won’t be able to post and reblog much since I’m traveling the next week and a half, so I’ll compile all my works here in the meantime :-)

will also update this list as i write more!

klance:

midnight snacks don't exist in space

G | 1.7K | RP/BP dynamics

There are no rules about eating at 3:00 AM if you're in the far reaches of the universe.

In a bright kitchen while the team is asleep, Lance and Keith find each other, as they always do.

Why We Fight

T | 5.7K | truth-telling au

With the Rebels in need of resources, the team ventures to a planet known for its raw materials in hope that they'll join the coalition. Here's the thing: they need to prove that they can be trusted by telling the truth about why they fight.

Lance finds this more difficult to voice than the others. Unfortunately (thankfully), Keith has returned from the Blade and is more than willing to listen.

"This is bigger than any of us alone."

A Keith By Any Other Name

T | 8.2K | coffee shop rom-com AU

Lance McClain was dared to hit on Keith. Keith thought that’d be the first and last time they’d meet. However, Lance keeps coming back, charming Keith with his jokes and charisma.

Here’s the catch: Keith refuses to tell Lance his real name.

“I’m not telling you my name unless you order and move on.” Keith pointed to the register screen.

“Alright, I’ll do a cappuccino.” Lance pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket and slid his card over to Keith. “Now will you tell me your name?”

“My name is Yorak.” Keith passed the card back to Lance, who looked shocked at that answer, his eyebrows raised to his hairline. Keith was beginning to realize how dramatic Lance could be.

“Really?!” Lance demanded. He looked pityingly at Keith, and irritation welled up in his gut.

“No!” Keith rolled his eyes.

“You’re the worst,” Lance huffed.

a billion light years from here

T | 8.5K | post-canon fix-it

Keith and Lance reconnect over letters. Through their writing, Keith learns to open up, and Lance learns what a home is.

"For all the game I talked on the castleship about missing home, now that I’m back on my family farm, I kind of feel like there’s something missing. Like, even surrounded by all of the juniberry flowers Allura gave us, and even with my parents, I still feel lonely. Or restless."

Or: A post s-8 fix-it AU told entirely through letters between Lance and Keith, both sent and unsent.

out of my head

G | 1.2K | high school au

Keith didn’t even want to watch the spring musical auditions. Forced by Pidge to accompany them, he finds himself surprised at the talent of a particular actor. He also finds himself surprised by his own response. 

OR:

Lance is ridiculously good at singing and Keith is a lovable, impulsive jock.

baptism by fire

T | 1.5K | canon-compliant angst

Prompt: write a private scene between two characters with no dialogue, of just them two alone.

Lance just witnessed the unthinkable. Keith offers his company in wake of the tragedy.

kiribaku:

unstoppably, immovably, unbreakably you

G | 651 | canon-compliant

A character study.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Katsuki Bakugou’s hand implodes against Eijirou Kirishima’s arm; a flurry of sparks surround them with a sound that rings between his skull.

This is something he knows how to do well. With every blow that Katsuki unleashes, he feels Kirishima retaliate with more, responding like a dance to his every movement. Katsuki is a fine-tuned instrument of destruction, every muscle on his body worked with the intention of winning.

as always please let me know what u think thru asks & comments on ao3!! ill answer asks between travel, but im going to frequently be in spotty service.

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.❞

Your future lover message to you.

YouTube | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

18+ readings | Divider

Pile 1:

My patience for you

my dearest, please take care of your needs and heal your inner child. I cannot see you go forth without you caring for yourself.. please, if you cannot for yourself, at least for me.. take care of yourself.. because I love you too dearly for you to waste your time doing nothing that shall help you in the near future.. and I cannot let you do that; I want to see you—I want to kiss you and whisper sweet nothing into your ears after we make love.. I want to see you smile every time I say something silly, in reality those stories are real, but I make it stupid just to see you smile.. so please for me and to see each other quicker, please take care of yourself.

I shall be waiting for you,

Your prince charming –

Pile 2:

Proud of you baby

HI I HOPE YOURE DOING ALRIGHT, IMAGINE ME YELLING IN EXCITEMENT, HEHE.

SOOO YOU GOT A PROMOTION, THAT’S AWESOME! CONGRATS BABE, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND I HOPE YOU WORK HARDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS AND KICK ASS OF THOSE SEXIST MEN IN THE STEM MAJOR. ALSO ILL KICK THEIR ASS TOO.

UMM, I THINK MY MESSAGE TO YOU IS TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT PROPERLY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT, PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER TO GET YOUR ASSIGNMENTS DONE BUT FOOD IS ESSENTIAL AND HYDRATION. SO YEAH GET THAT FIXED SO MAYBE YOU CAN—DURING YOUR BREAKS EAT SOMETHING PLEASE AND PLEASE SLEEP BETTER FOR ME.

THANKS SO MUCH AND ILYVM XOXOXOOXXOOXXOOXOXOXOXOX

Pile 3:

I won’t give up on you

I can see you changing your life and I see that you met someone you don’t trust.. and that’s okay, I know you struggle with trust issues, but please know—that’s me. Its okay not to trust me now, and please don’t until you feel comfortable enough to open yourself up to me. I know youre an introverted person and that’s okay. Ill be the boat you will sail on and find that treasure on your map. I will be your rock when you play .. rock, paper, scissors.. ill be your armor when youre sobbing and ill be the one saving you when you start drowning in your trust issues once more.. and I’ll fight for you when you try to push me away again.

So go ahead and try but you cannot get rid of me because we are meant to be and that’s final.

Pile 4:

You’re the reason why I became so romantic

When the moon shines onto the river, we see a beautiful reflection shining, letting the people see the beauty and that is what I see within you, my love.. youre one dashing love and I cannot get enough of you especially during love making, but this isn’t a love letter I suppose.. this is my message to you and you shall receive it after I say what I love about you.

Youre one beautiful lover, the way you smile at me as I write and do my homework, waiting for me to be finished so we can cuddle and watch your favorite, us both laughing as it gets to the funny scene and then both saying we wont watch that same Disney movie once more, but we do. An endless loop of laughter.

From those to when we take a shower together but there is never any thoughts of doing the deed, only thinking of making sure the other is okay and properly cleaned, your innocence is the most beautiful as this world is truly a mess, but I shall never ever take advantage of your pureness as it floats my heart anew when I think of you and wishing I could give you flowers for all of eternity.. that is the love we shall cherished as this is what our love shall be.

So my message to you my dearest is, please keep being the most beautiful that you are and keep your pureness as it is the most beautiful of them all. As you are the most tantalizing flower one can pick and cherish, let it grow and feed it with water and sunlight as you watch it grow into the magic you wished you had seen the first time you lay your eyes on.. and that is you. you are my flowers and you are the magic within that I truly didn’t know I deserved or needed, so thank you my dearest and thank you for accepting me for who I am.

- Your dearest.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

I love being a wild card in this fandom.  

What I love about Sauron/Mairon x Galadriel is that their dynamic isn’t some basic Light vs. Dark nonsense. Because this is Tolkien, not some Hollywood digested cr*p, as the professor says himself:

Some reviewers have called the whole thing simple-minded, just a plain fight between Good and Evil, with all the good just good, and the bad just bad. Pardonable, perhaps (though at least Boromir has been overlooked) in people in a hurry, and with only a fragment to read, and, of course, without the earlier written but unpublished Elvish histories. But the Elves are not wholly good or in the right. Not so much because they had flirted with Sauron; as because with or without his assistance they were 'embalmers'. They wanted to have their cake and eat it: to live in the mortal historical Middle-earth because they had become fond of it (and perhaps because they there had the advantages of a superior caste), and so tried to stop its change and history, stop its growth, keep it as a pleasaunce, even largely a desert, where they could be 'artists' – and they were overburdened with sadness and nostalgic regret. Tolkien, Letter 154

This is what I've been telling you guys. The Elves are not hopeless victims of Sauron, nor are they the "heroes" of the story. Tolkien lore is complex, it's not "pure Good vs. pure Evil" like the "lorebros" or the Peter Jackson fanboys claim. Stop believing their nonsense, they don't know what they are talking about. The battle of “good vs. evil”, in Tolkien legendarium, ultimately, happens within each character.

When they first met, Mairon and Galadriel both turned their backs on literal heaven (Valinor) because of their pride: Galadriel wanted the glory of seeking and destroying Sauron for herself; Mairon couldn’t bring himself to face judgement from the Valar. Mairon was the repentant sinner, while Galadriel was on her way to become one.

Galadriel is a literal ticking bomb, ready to explode and turn Dark at any moment, in "Rings of Power". Mairon was drawn to the darkness within her, and not to her “light” (this is another way he self-deceives himself). Her “light” (= Two Trees of Valinor) is merely aesthetic. She doesn’t have that light, and that’s why she’ll use Nenya, and her Mirror and her Phial to harvest purest Light, and become the “Lady of Light”.

In “Rings of Power” there is a clue that Mairon might be blood bound to Morgoth, and, so, he’s always unconsciously seeking his former master, and that’s why he wanted to serve Galadriel. Because he's a Maia, he was created to be a servant to a Vala. The deal, wasn't her becoming his servant, but the other way around.

And we are talking about Sauron, here: his whole character arc is not one of redemption, so he the interest he believes he has on "Light" is not real, it's one of his self-deceptions. And for Sauron to never stop grouping Galadriel’s mind, thousands of years into the future, when he’s already officially the “shadow of Morgoth” it’s because he recognizes her potential for darkness, not her light.  

This doesn’t mean that he’s unredeemable, mind you. Tolkien’s work is infused with Christian doctrine (mainly Catholicism), and in this religion one can always find redemption and forgiveness if one actually repents for their sins, and makes amends for them (which will be Galadriel's case). And this is also present in Tolkien lore: no character is unredeemable on his world. But in the legendarium, after refusing to stand trial before the Valar, Sauron never truly repents, and becomes the "a reincarnation of Evil" aka Morgoth come again.

And there is Sauron. In the Silmarillion and Tales of the First Age Sauron was a being of Valinor perverted to the service of the Enemy and becoming his chief captain and servant. He repents in fear when the First Enemy is utterly defeated, but in the end does not do as was commanded, return to the judgement of the gods. He lingers in Middle-earth [Halbrand]. Very slowly, beginning with fair motives: the reorganising and rehabilitation of the ruin of Middle-earth, neglected by the gods', he becomes a reincarnation of Evil, and a thing lusting for Complete Power – and so consumed ever more fiercely with hate (especially of gods and Elves). All through the twilight of the Second Age the Shadow is growing in the East of Middle-earth, spreading its sway more and more over Men – who multiply as the Elves begin to fade. Tolkien Letter 131

Sauron was of course not 'evil' in origin. He was a 'spirit' corrupted by the Prime Dark Lord (the Prime sub-creative Rebel) Morgoth. He was given an opportunity of repentance, when Morgoth was overcome, but could not face the humiliation of recantation, and suing for pardon; and so his temporary turn to good and 'benevolence' ended in a greater relapse, until he became the main representative of Evil of later ages. But at the beginning of the Second Age he was still beautiful to look at, or could still assume a beautiful visible shape – and was not indeed wholly evil, not unless all 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization' are wholly evil, even before pride and the lust to exert their will eat them up. The particular branch of the High-Elves concerned, the Noldor or Loremasters, were always on the side of 'science and technology', as we should call it: they wanted to have the knowledge that Sauron genuinely had, and those of Eregion refused the warnings of Gil-galad and Elrond. Tolkien Letter 153

Halbrand was repentant Mairon. Annatar is Mairon falling back into evil.

Galadriel is not yet the “repentant sinner” Tolkien described her to be, in his legendarium, either. In Season 2, she doesn’t own up to her actions, and is still making excuses for them: “I was deceived”; “Sauron used me”; “Under his harp I was played to a melody not of my choosing”, bla bla bla.

She’s still in self-denial about her actions in Season 1: she’s the one who tempted Mairon with promises of power and, pretty much directly, caused him to choose deception over redemption, and condemned Middle-earth to Sauron’s tyranny (this is also somewhat compatible to what Tolkien wrote, because in the lore the Elves are also to blame).

And I’m almost certain she’ll have to f*ck up even harder in order to have a “eye opening” moment. Because one can’t really be a “penitent” (using Tolkien’s words) unless one takes ownership of one's actions, and makes the conscious decision to atone for them. 

[mushimatsu]

choromatsu handwriting post

compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him

i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too

(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)

commonalities i noticed:

sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)

with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu

letter in s1e24

very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.

new years cards in s2e13

very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.

for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.

also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything

trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.

my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo

the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other

more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too

HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)

but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical

anyway

another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here

i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing

１９時

キャンプ

ファイヤー

also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again

these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself

Airport Matsu

very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones

and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno

nostalgic moments webkuji

this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.

Rock School

he drew himself again lol

i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?

like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol

Neetpro

this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol

also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one

i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way

in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.

sukiya app

my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.

overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.

extra: coloring book

the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier

anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu

[jennamoran]

The Far Roofs

So today I want to talk a bit about what this game wants to be. In particular, I'm going to go over its key technical and artistic goals.

The Far Roofs focuses on immersive hidden world fantasy adventure. It's intended to offer the experience of a grounded, emotionally real base world attached to an idealized, fantastic "hidden world" setting.

One might say, the streets and buildings and houses of the game's world are basically our own. Above us, though, is a stranger, more idealized, and more fantastic place. It's hard to get to. It's dangerous. It's less grounded. It's full of wonder.

Those are the Far Roofs.

This divide exists to make the game feel as real as possible, if you want to go that way. That's part of what hidden world fantasy is about, after all---the idea that magic is here. That it's not in some distant alien land or mythic future or past.

It's here, if you want to reach for it.

(Now, the game is flexible enough that you can play "protagonist" types instead of realer people, and many traditional gaming groups will probably prefer that, but that'll mean getting less of that immersive effect.)

The mood the game is interested in is that feeling you get when you take a huge risk---move to a new place; try a new thing. The feeling you get in those times in your life when everything is alienated and wondrous and terrifying but there's also so much more *hope* than there was in the still times before.

It's a mood of being swept up and called forward.

This is, among other things, meant to be a game for people who've been beaten down or exhausted by the ... everything ... to feel that sensation of moving forward again.

To remember what it's like, why it's worth it, how to reach for it again.

It's meant---and I do understand that I am finite and flawed and this can only go so far---as a tonic and refreshment to the soul.

--

Rules

The Far Roofs uses a 5d6-based dice pool system for day-to-day task resolution. It's relatively traditional and optimized for fast, fun dice reading. There's a loose consensus I've seen in RPG design circles that dice are for when outcomes are uncertain and both options are interesting, and I don't disagree ... but there's also this thing where rolling dice to decide is intrinsically interesting and fun, where it's fuel for a certain part of the brain.

This game tries to get as much out of that side of dice as it can.

You'll also collect letter tiles and cards over the course of the game. This is for bigger-picture stuff:

To answer big questions and to complete big projects, you'll either assemble representative words out of those tiles, or, play a poker hand built out of those cards. Word and their nuances express ideas and shape how outcomes play out; poker hands, conversely, just give a qualitative measure of how much work you do or how well things will go.

In keeping with this, the campaign is represented principally in the form of questions or issues your words and hands can address. Player/GM-created campaigns would be the same.

--

Physical and Electronic Product

I wanted to put the print version within the range of as many people who might need that tonic as possible. That means that for this particular game, I wanted to cover the full territory that I'd normally cover in a two or three volume set (core rules, setting, and campaign) in a single 200-250-page volume.

In practice this means there's a guide and examples for constructing the setting, rather than a deep dive into a fully-detailed world; that there's a bit less in the way of whimsical digression and flourish than in the writing I'm known for; that there's minimal "flavor" text on abilities; and that the campaign presentation is pretty fast-paced.

Conversely, it means that the game should be easy to absorb and to share with other possible players, and, that the game and campaign in this one relatively small volume should provide enough content for five or six years of play.

The book will be 8.5"x11" with grayscale art, available in a limited hardcover print run and a print-on-demand softcover form.

--

On the Rats

You'll see a lot of talk from me and others about the talking rats in this game. They're one of the jewels of the experience, and I think they're probably a significant draw just for being talking rats that are core to the game.

... but I'm going to hold off for now, because, to be clear, this is not a game of playing talking rats. It's just a game where talking rats and probably one of the top three most important setting elements.

I couldn't get that feeling I wanted of ... the base world being grounded realism; of the hidden world pulling you up and out and into a world full of magic ... with your playing rats, with your playing something so distant from the typical player.

So this is not a game of playing them.

They're just ... I like rats, and so I made the rats in this game with love. They're great ... whatever the equivalent is to "psychopomps" is for a magical world instead of for death ... and a way of talking about how in the face of the world, we're all pretty small.

--

I'm really excited about this game; the playtest was lovely.

I hope you'll enjoy it as well!

[pekoehoneyncream]

Ghoaptober # 12

Prompt: Letter

Words: 1200~

TW: None (sfw)

This version of Ghoaptober was created by @spadesandshovels

Once again, 'Coinneach John Mactavish' being Soap's full name is a personal headcanon of mine.

Enjoy!

Price walked into the officer’s recreation room that the one-four-one task force had co-opted as their own, after a fancier rec-room had opened for the officers closer to the central hubbub of the base and the original room had been all but forgotten. It had officially become theirs after Ghost had quietly replaced the room's card-reader with a locking knob, and calmly distributed the keys to his teammates without any clarification of what they were for.

Was that completely against regulations? Yes. 

Did he have Captain Price's full -and unspoken- support? Also yes.

“Post’s in, lads.” Price announced, dropping a fat envelope and a medium sized box mummified in packing tape onto the wobbily coffee table that squatted in front of the telly. 

First to come over and investigate, as always, was Gaz. He’d said before that his father, Arthur Garrick, claimed to enjoy the rustic charm of sending handwritten letters rather than texting or calling, but Gaz was fairly certain that the family preference for letters came from the fact that it was nearly impossible to get Gaz and Gaz’s mother, Gemma Garrick, on the same schedule for a family phone call. Gaz was the apple of his parent’s eyes and every letter was at least three pages from each of them, as they caught each other up on the new gossip and Arthur tried to draw his son into debates on various books. Most times when a package came in it was a book for Gaz that his father wanted him to read, so that they could talk about it. 

Pulling out his knife to open the box, Gaz ignored Ghost judging the knife’s maintenance from his perch looming behind Soap on the raggedy two-seater sofa in the corner and cut easily through the tape. Pausing when he found the box filled with an excessive amount of packing materials and cushioning, topped with another letter. 

After rechecking that the name on the thick envelope he’d claimed did read ‘Kyle Garrick’, he closed the box flaps and searched for its shipping label. Finding it addressed to ‘Coinneach MacTavish’, matching the letter in the box. 

“Cap, I think the mail room gave you someone else’s stuff.” Gaz said, sheepishly keeping the box pressed closed, “Is there another MacTavish on base or something?”

“No,” Ghost spoke up, Soap and he watching curiously as Price walked back over to investigate, “There isn’t.”

Gaz pointed to the name on the shipping label, quietly suffering through Price’s slow sans reading-glasses squint. 

“No,” The Captain eventually denied, “They didn’t give me the wrong box, that’s for Soap.”

“Soap?” Gaz exclaimed, “But it says-” 

It was the abrupt pause as Gaz debated his willingness to give reading the addressee’s name aloud a crack that got Soap up and moving. Ghost following along behind him. 

Soap spun the box on the table and checked the name himself. “Aye, it’s fer me,” He confirmed, sliding the box off the table into his arms.

“Since when are you C- Coneech?” Gaz interrogated, pointing accusingly at Soap. 

“Coinneach.” Soap corrected amiably, ignoring Ghost pawing at the box as he tried to uncover the label to take a peek, “An’ since the day I wae born, I recon.” 

“Your name’s not John?” Ghost’s voice carried no inflection at all, and Soap instantly knew he was taking being ignorant of this badly. 

“Nae!” Soap cried, spinning to face Ghost head on, “It is! Mah full name’s Coinneach John.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ghost’s voice remained completely flat, but he allowed himself to grasp the hand Soap stretched out to him. 

“Would ye believe it never occurred tae me?” Soap gave his partner a self-deprecating smile, “Naen bu’ the folk back home call me Coinneach.” 

“They don’t call you Johnny.” Ghost said it as a statement rather than a question, but Soap knew he was searching for reassurance. 

“Nae, jus' you can pull that off, mo chridhe.” Soap squeezed at his hand, and was warmed by Ghost returning the squeeze, “Ma and mah grandparents call me Coinneach, an’ mos’ ae mah siblings call me Kennie. Johnny is jus’ y’urs.” 

Ghost nodded, and by the possessive gleam in his eyes Soap knew he liked that.

“Anyway.” Gaz interjected, jolting them from their doe-eyed staring, “What’s in the package, Tav?” 

“Oh,” Soap startled, looking down at the box tucked under his arm like he’d completely forgotten he was holding it, “Ah dinnae ken. Ah didnae ask fer any’hing.”

Soap plunked the box back down on the table and started tearing out all the cushioning with no aplomb, waving away Gaz’s embarrassed apology for mistakenly opening his package. 

“Aw, fuck,” Soap groaned into his hands when the enough of the packing had been discarded that the shape of the contents had become more clear, “Ah tol’ him no’ tae send it,”

Price came over to join Gaz and Ghost in staring cluelessly at the vaguely teardrop shape still safely ensconced in its plastic prison. 

‘What's it, luvie?” Price spoke after a beat, as Soap seemed content to groan scots gaelic complaints into his palms instead of finishing his unpackaging of the mysterious object.  

“Mo fìdheall.” Soap mumbled, electing to continue hiding his face, but unable to hide the blush that crept up to redden the tips of his ears. 

“English, Johnny,” Ghost chided, coming around to press up against Soap’s back, his eyes crinkling in a fond smile when the Scot immediately turned to bury his face into Ghost’s chest.

“Granda sent me mah fuckin’ fiddle.” Soap whinged, upping his volume to make up for him smothering himself in his partner’s pecs, “I tol’ him nae. When ah’m ah gonnae be fuckin’ playin’ a fuckin’-” the rest of Soap’s grumbles faded into incoherent Scots. 

Ghost’s chest shook with suppressed giggles and he brought a hand up to pet at Johnny’s warhawk, not in the slightest bit interested in dislodging Soap from his hiding spot. 

“Can I open it?” Gaz asked, darting looks between Soap’s back and the mostly opened box, proceeding without hesitation when Soap waved an uncaring hand back at him. The Scot was busy having his brain melted by heavenly head scritches, letting all his weight drop onto an increasingly smug Ghost. 

Discarding an improbable amount of bubble wrap and three quilts, Gaz pulled out and unzipped a case, then lifted free an aged violin. 

“Tav, you play the fiddle?” Gaz asked, holding it up by the neck like it was his prized catch of the day. Price’s eyebrows raised to kiss his hairline as he looked contemplatively between the instrument in question and his hiding Sergeant. 

A huge sigh heaved though Soap, and he rocked his head to the side to peek out at them with one blue eye, a ruddy blush still staining his cheeks, “Aye.” He reluctantly confirmed, “Ah can.”

“Will you play us something?” Price asked, a hidden eagerness colouring his question. 

“Nae,” Soap shook his head back into the crease of Ghost’s pecs, the rest of his answer lost to the plush of Ghost’s chest. 

“He said he needs to tune it and check it wasn’t damaged.” Ghost relayed after clearing what sounded suspiciously like a giggle from his throat. 

“Another time then,” Price permitted with a nod, ignoring the irreverent wave Soap tossed him. 

Gaz packed the fiddle back into its case with gentle hands, by its age he guessed that it probably belonged to someone else before Soap, maybe a parent or a grandparent. He thought of asking, but a glance over dissuaded him. 

Ghost had herded Soap back over to their sofa and had the Scot tucked up securely on his lap with his head pressed into Ghost’s neck as skillful fingers scritched over his scalp, making a mess of his warhawk. Not that Soap seemed to care, if the blissed out hums that he was letting a very self-satisfied Ghost wring from his throat were any indication.

Thank You For Reading!

I know absolutely nothing about playing the fiddle, nor do I have any idea about how'd I go about writing someone playing it. So we just neatly sidestepped that.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[jayjj7]

chapter 19. puppy (written)

prev. next masterlist

as you wait for yunjin to arrive to class, you pull out her flash card notes she let you borrow. it really was sweet of her to let you borrow them without question and out of the kindness of her own heart. when you first received them, you copied them down and realized that she might be actually going somewhere in life, unlike yourself. you never really gave much thought as to what you would do in life and always said ‘it’s a problem for later’…but that later is soon.

before your thoughts were able to get too depressing you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“hey!” yunjin greets you as she sits down next you, placing her bag on the table

“hey yunjin, here are your flash cards thank you so so much really” you hand her the pack of cards neatly without a fold or imperfection on them.

“y/n, i told you it was no problem” she tilts her head and smiles. “besides, i needed to pay back the favor for you helping me study” yunjin smiles as she flips through her own cards.

“that was no big deal really, i’m happy to help whenever you need it” believe it or not, you shocked yourself with your own words. was that too bold?

“likewise- oh by the way, the professor assigned a pop quiz this thursday” yunjin breaks the news to you.

“oh great” you roll your eyes and open your laptop.

the professor you and yunjin have talks pretty fast while giving lessons, even with the powerpoint slides he has, its hard to keep up with what he’s saying. as you write as fast as you can to keep up with the important information he’s giving, you misspell a word that can’t be fixed with writing the correct letter over it in darker ink.

damn

you reach out to grab yunjin’s correction tape but instead you’re met with warm, soft, delicate skin.

“oh sorry go ahead” you apologize because after all it is her correction tape.

“no no use it! it’s fine!” yunjin whispers

“it’s your correction tape, you can use it”

“y/n please-“

“HEY” a loud voice over the speakers interrupts the both of you. in response you both look up out of fear.

“quiet down” the professors stern voice shoots at both of you, ending the debate on who gets to use the correction tape. after calling you guys out and having the whole room turn to inspect the cause of disruption, he continues the lesson.

you and yunjin slowly turn your heads to look at each other before she smiles and picks up the correction tape and puts it in your hand.

“that was so embarrassing” you cover your face as you stand up from seat. class had just ended and you wanted to get out of that room more than anything.

“hey its okay! everyone will forget about it by next class” yunjin tries to cheer you up and pats the side of your arm.

“ughhhh” you groan out as you toss your bag over your shoulder. “i hate him so much, he’s so annoying. we weren’t even that loud! also why does he even care it’s not like we-“ as you continue to complain yunjin just nods and smiles at you. not realizing that you guys are walking out of class together, out of the science building, into the cafeteria just talking about the professor and the work.

while you and yunjin were grabbing food in the cafeteria she interrupts you by laughing.

“y/n you’re really funny” yunjin grabs a piece of bread and puts it on your plate. “you make everything seems so interesting”

you both walk to sit down at a table while you try to remain calm from yunjin’s sudden compliment.

“you know, we should really hangout besides just studying” yunjin suggests as she takes a bite of the rice she picked up.

“yeah id love to”

taglist : [ @1luvkarina @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @may-madness @modanisgf ] (taglist is open!!)

[kianaisspiraling]

Immortal GIGS Crew Phasmophobia AU

GIGS phasmo AU where they're basically just a group of retired immortals having fun :D

Impulse and Skizz started working for this ghost hunting company, and since they can't die, instead of reading the manual they decided to just fuck around and find out.

In truth, they kinda just showed up and started taking jobs. The company was gonna find these intruders and punish them at first, but when the spectacular results started coming in, the higher-ups hesitantly decided to let it go, since none of their actual employees were brave enough to take the cases Impulse and Skizz did.

Eventually, their results from one investigation were left with a letter requesting payment, since they didn't wanna keep using the cheap starter equipment in the van they "borrowed." So if the company slips an envelope full of cash into their own mailbox every time they receive a report for the mystery workers to take, and sometimes equipment disappears from storage with cash in its place, they simply would look the other way.

Later they drag Grian, Scar, and Gem into their shenanigans and they also fuck around and find out.

To the company, the GIGS Crew is their best team, even if they don't know much about them. They always take their hardest, most fatal jobs, and walk out completely fine.

Little do they know these eldritch entities die repeatedly and they scream like little girls. What is considered an almost certainly fatal job for any regular person, is just a game to the GIGS.

For example, all manuals say to snap pictures of cursed items, and safely return them to HQ to be disposed of in a contained area. GIGS crew though? None of them have the self control to not use those. Every single one of them would pull every tarot card for fun and you know it. Manual says to under no circumstances touch a summoning circle. GIGS does not read the manual.

They even set some rules early on, afterall this is a game to them, and what fun is a game if you can't die? So essentially they declared that if a ghost was to hit you with what would be a killing blow, you have to go into spectral form, in which you detach from your body and hover about like a spectator. Think Dr. Strange. The only thing they're allowed to do in this form is pick stray items up, and if everyone "dies" they have to jump ship and come back again later.

They can be 'revived' by the monkey paw or something too. Thing is, despite the fact that they don't need to, they still say, "I wish for Life," before the 'dead' person returns to their body. If this causes some recently dead guy a block away to suddenly wake up fine, sue them. They're causing miracles over here, be grateful!

Now imagine something happens one day that causes a human mortal that also works for the company in some regard to bare witness to GIGS' unhinged method of investigation. They're playing with cursed objects like toys, purposefully triggering hunts, and—

Unnamed is sitting in the van watching the camera closely when it happens. They've been tasked as a fifth, no wait, sixth member of the legendary GIGS crew for the day, since there's apparently a girl named Gem that subs in for Scar half the time. They're thinking that, sure, this team's been a bit reckless so far, but who are they to judge? These guys are THE professionals, after all. However, this viewpoint quickly gets decimated.

"HahAHA Scar's dead!" Unnamed's head snaps up at Grian's outburst. They, being the normal person they are, respond reasonably, "Wait, agent Scar is dead-?!" A pause followed by a realization, "Why the hell are you laughing-?!"

Grian, who came back into the van for candles since they were going to do an Onryo test before it started hunting, suddenly remembers that humans don't think death is funny. Right. Need to fix that slip up.

"Uhm... out of shock, I think?" Wow, A+ excuse, he mentally berates himself. Think Grian, think! Humans have that thing called grief, right? And isn't the first stage of that denial? Bingo! "I.. I'm sorry, I think I'm just.. in denial?" Grian wants to slap himself. Great idea, horrible execution. Unnamed clearly didn't buy it.

Thankfully, that mess was interrupted, "Hey guys, I found the monkey paw. Should I use it to bring Scar back?" Impulse says over the radio. Skizz and Grian are quick to agree, the latter also using the distraction to rush out of the van and that conversation with the candles.

It takes a moment to click, but Unnamed suddenly realizes, "Wait, are you guys gonna use a cursed item to bring Agent Scar back-?! Look, I know you all are mourning, but that is under all circumstances forbidden!" They take a breath in disbelief, "That could have unforeseen consequences!"

Skizz pipes up, not even trying to be subtle, "Well, duh. The consequences are what makes it fun!" Unnamed is interrupted by Impulse before they can rant about how bad of an idea this is—, "Yeah you say that until you're the one that has to deal with them," he chuckles.

Skizz, in blind yet playful rage, bites the bait, "Fine then! Give me the monkey paw, and I'll wish Scar back to life myself!"

Skizz does this and dies, and they can practically hear him complaining from beyond the grave. Impulse snaps a picture of his corpse as they make fun of the position he's in, his back bent backward. Unnamed is frozen in shock in the van as they listen to Skizz's friends, including a newly revived Scar, laugh at their own friend's demise. Oh god, they're surrounded by psychopaths. These guys take all the hardest jobs, of course they've gone crazy—

Unnamed, after spiraling for an unknown amount of time, looks over to the activity chart to see that there is a hunt going on. This gives them some time to collect their thoughts, only for that little composure to immediately be shattered when as soon as the hunt ends, Grian barks out a laugh, "Oh Scar! He's died AGAIN!", "Oh nooo!" Impulse follows along with a chuckle. Unnamed is on the verge of hyperventilating.

The two remaining GIGS return to the van and ignore Unnamed's impending panic attack. Grian tells Impulse that the hunt started right after the third candle blew out, so he thinks it's an Onryo. "I mean we do already have orbs, but I wasn't getting freezing temps and that ghost just wasn't answering spirit box." Impulse counters.

"Listen, I know I was spirit boxin' it pretty good,"—Unnamed shudders at that. The second-hand cringe they felt listening to Grian's "WHERE ARE YOUUU-?!" was indescribable—"but my gut is really telling me it's an Onryo! Besides, we've had ghosts that just refused to talk before."

"Your gut is usually right," Impulse mutters. "Look, we've got one of two evidence and a successful Onryo test, so I say we gag since Scar and Skizz are dead." Grian says. Impulse still looks unsure, "I just feel like it's too soon. One evidence is hardly enough, and that Onryo test could be a fluke."

They have completely forgotten Unnamed is there at this point, and they don't exactly feel like attracting attention to themself as they wilt like a flower in the corner, pondering their life choices.

Grian relents a bit, "Okay how about this, we ask Scar and Skizz if we should gag or continue investigating, fair?" Impulse nods, "Fair."

Unnamed looks up a little, concerned on how exactly they plan to consult their dead friends. They're beginning to think there's a high likelihood they'll quit tonight, and they're definitely going to need a therapist after all this.

Impulse speaks up over the radio despite them all being in the truck, "Alright guys, come get your clipboards!" Unnamed stares on in something akin to horror as two of the clipboards up on the wall start hovering. Impulse's voice is somehow too loud and too quiet at the same time, "Alright, throw your clipboards on the keyboard if we should continue, and throw them on the floor if we should gag."

Both clipboards are now being repeatedly picked up and tossed on the floor of the van by an invisible force. 'Forces,' they correct themself mentally, as it slowly dawns on them that these ghosts are actually Scar and Skizz, and isn't THAT a mind-twister?

Impulse looks slightly disappointed but smiles good-naturedly anyway, "You guys wanna gag? Alrighty then, check off Onryo and let's go!"

This is the moment that Impulse suddenly remembers Unnamed's existence, looking slightly worried at their lack of input, "You okay?" He turns his head, "Grian don't go yet, Unnamed hasn't given their opinion." Grian grumbles out a 'fine', and Impulse looks back at them, "You wanna gag, or should we contin–" Unnamed interrupts, "Just get me outta here please," they near-whisper.

Impulse looks them over and remembers that humans aren't meant to be that pale and hesitantly asks, "You uh... feeling sick?" He looks over to Grian for help, and Unnamed could swear they heard Grian sassily mumble, "Don't look at me, I dunno how humans work either," but they had to be hearing things, because that just doesn't make sense, surely.

"Impulse, lets just go and pass Unnamed onto someone who actually knows what they're doing," Grian grumbles, clearly frustrated. Impulse still looks concerned (at least he's trying), but concedes since, yeah, they really don't know what they're doing, do they?

As Grian starts the truck, Unnamed notices that Scar and Skizz's bodies are suddenly in the truck. Did– did Grian leave while Impulse looked them over? That had only lasted for a few seconds though, Grian couldn't possibly have dragged them in in that time, could he? It's like they were just teleported in here. Unnamed is really going to need that therapist, and maybe some kind of hallucination medication too...

While staring into space and down at the keyboard in misery, Unnamed distantly hears the sounds of someone cracking their joints and grunting noises to accompany it. They fully snap to attention, however, when they hear the people's voices.

Scar makes a sound of discomfort as he snaps his neck back into place, "Oh void, gonna feel that in the mornin'," he mutters to himself. Skizz on the other hand lets out a whoop at the satisfying crack in his back, before immediately thrusting into bickering with Impulse.

"Dipple-Dop, you killed me!" Skizz exclaims, and Unnamed gets the feeling that they should cover their ears, like a child does when their parents fight. "ME-?! You're the one who used the monkey paw!" Impulse retorts. Skizz, "Well, you shouldn't have given it to me!" Impulse, "But you literally asked me for it!" Skizz, "Well, I wouldn't have if you didn't instigate me!" Impulse, "Oh, come on! You..."

Unnamed tunes them out and focuses on Scar and Grian, all thoughts having left their head out of pure shock, believing this must be some twisted fever dream. It makes sense, they think, they have been tasked with reviewing GIGS' reports for the past month after all.

In truth, the only reason Unnamed is here in the first place is because Skizz didn't read a form before signing it. With their previous check, GIGS received a form that was asking about sending someone to monitor and review their methods and see if they're fit to formally become employees. It was really just an effort to get to know something about these mysterious volunteers, though.

Skizz, however, just skimmed the part gushing about how much the company appreciates their hard work and the benefits of becoming real hires, not actually reading the part about the employee evaluation, assuming they were just going to get the rewards. He signed it and wrote down the GIGS Crew email address he created a minute ago, hence why Unnamed is now here. Yippie.

They tune into Grian and Scar's conversation as they vaguely register Impulse and Skizz's continued, albeit quieter, bickering in the background. Scar is griping about the crick in his neck, "Why do you guys always have to leave a guy in the most uncomfortable positions, huh?" Grian responds blunty with zero hesitation, "Because it's funny," he snorts.

Unnamed tunes them out too as their brain starts to reboot enough to process that they are supposed to be dead. Why are they not dead-?!

Grian notices Unnamed staring in the corner and clears his throat above everyone else's chatter, making a gesture towards them once he has their attention. Unnamed can feel their heart sink straight through the floor, and a metaphorical noose tighten around their neck.

He looks over at Scar and Skizz, "You two really couldn't wait to get back up, could you? Remember, we. have. COMPANY!" Grian punctuates each word in that statement with a clap.

The two sheepishly look over at Unnamed while Impulse looks mildly panicked. Scar and Impulse were cooking up some half-baked excuses, and Skizz is malfunctioning when Grian sighs and relents a bit, "Okay, we're really not being that subtle anyway, are we?"

Scar is spewing a ridiculous explanation in the background, "They uh, shocked us back to life while you weren't looking, yeah!" A whisper from Skizz shuts him up, "I'm no expert, but I don't think that's how that works, buddy." Scar deflates a bit, "But that's all I've got..." Skizz rubs a comforting hand on his back, "I know, dude, at least ya' tried."

Before Unnamed can get enough of a grip on themself and ask what in the hell is happening, the ride ends, simultaneously having taken an eternity and also been way too short.

Grian slips out of the driver seat and ushers them outside quickly, them now standing in front of the company's main building looking lost. "Wait!" Impulse stops Grian from driving off, "You forgot your employee evaluation sheet. It looks oddly blank..." Impulse trails off before snapping out of his stupor, "Sorry! Didn't mean to pry. I'm probably not meant to read that, huh?" He slips the report into Unnamed's hand when they don't take it on their own.

"Oh, and would you mind taking in our report for this job too?" Despite the lack of a response, Impulse slips the report into their hands anyway, "Thanks, pleasure working with you! Sorry for any disturbances we many of caused." Impulse calls out as he steps back into the vehicle, Grian driving away as soon as the door closes, as if driving away will solve all their problems.

Unnamed starts to mindlessly wander inside the building, robotically turning in the report and submitting their evaluation sheet for review, one to the standard job review department and one to HQ. 'It really is a bit blank, huh?' They think passively. They're not really there, still feeling like they're floating in nothingness, but it's the first coherent thought they've had regarding reality in a while, so they'll take anything at this point.

Before they know it, they've found their way into the overnight stay room. Most investigations occur at night, so they have two rooms with sectioned off areas, each area containing a twin bed and a nightstand. It would look uncannily like a hospital if the nightstands were metal instead of wood.

They look up at the clock in the room and distantly note that its 2:17 am. Barely acknowledging that, they ungracefully flop onto the nearest available bed and pass out unceremoniously, not even taking off their shoes. The last thing to cross their mind before drifting off into a dreamless sleep is absolute certainty that this must just be a really strange nightmare induced by lack of proper sleep, and with that, they are at peace.

~

Unnamed hazily blinks their eyes open the next morning to see a silhouette sitting on their bedside, vaguely recognizing them as their friend, Unidentified. They can't focus on that though, only signing in relief now that that disturbing dream was over, writing it off as nerves for the upcoming job with GIGS. They're probably completely normal people, if a bit unorthodox.

This illusion is quickly shattered, though, because as soon as Unnamed is conscious enough to listen, their friend speaks, "So, how was it?" Unidentified stares at them with clear excitement, bouncing up and down a bit where they sat.

Unnamed, still pitifully oblivious, tilts their head in confusion, "How was what?" It's Unidentified's turn to be confused, "What do you mean, 'How was what?' The job with GIGS, obviously!" Unidentified exclaims incredulously.

Unnamed's face slowly morphs into one of unbridled horror as they realize that that wasn't a dream.

The next thing they know, they've sat up, fully awake, getting up and brushing themself off. Unidentified quickly switches from excited to worried, "Unnamed, are you okay?"

Unnamed can barely recall how to string together the sounds they call language to reply, "Yeah, I uh... I just need to go report something to HQ." Before Unidentified can respond, Unnamed has rushed out the door, straightening out their attire so that they look at least somewhat presentable in front of the company's head.

They file a request for an immediate meeting with the higher-ups, stressing the importance of it. They add that it has to do with Team GIGS as an afterthought, hoping it'll peak their curiosity.

And so Unnamed sits there, standing in the lobby with pumping adrenaline as they come to terms with a stark truth:

The GIGS crew is not human.

~•~

Bonuses!

POV GIGS Before:

"Look, Grian, I know you don't wanna leave the van, but this time you have to!" Impulse tries to reason, though he knows he's fighting a losing battle.

Grian refuses to relent, gaze boring into Impulse with several Eyes, "But whyyyy?!"

Impulse lets out an exhausted sigh, he's been at this for a while, "You know why, an inspector is going to be hunting with us this time, and they're human! We have to give them van duty or else they could die in the house. Like actually die."

Grian let's out an indignant whine, his wings puffing out in defiance, "And? There's gonna be five of us, can't we both just be in the van or something?"

"Grian, you and I both know that out of everyone here, except for maybe Gem, you get along with humans the least. You don't even try to be friendly!" Impulse counters. He can see Grian's resolve beginning to falter as he continues, "You don't wanna be stuck in the van with a 'strange mortal' the whole time, do you?" He uses air quotes, trying to speak Grian's language, and it's working.

Grian visibly deflates a little bit, crossing his arms and looking away as he bites out a bitter, "no." He's staring with only two eyes now, so that's progress Impulse thinks.

Skizz finally cuts in, not having wanted to get involved when Grian was still yelling, but will now that he's somewhat calm, "Listen buddy, it's not like you've never left the van before! You do it whenever Gemstone joins us, and sometimes when a bunch of us are dead!" Skizz chuckles a bit, "It's nothin' you haven't done before, G-Sharp."

Grian fully deflates this time, tension releasing from his body as looks at his feet and heaves a sigh of his own, "Fiiiine. The stupid human can have the vaaaan." He pouts, but it's the best they're going to get so they take it.

Impulse finally lets out a breath of relief, glad that he's avoided the possible murder of their inspector. Void, he really feels like a single mom sometimes.

~•~

POV GIGS After:

Grian is most definitely driving faster than the speed limit allows, not that he particularly cares. That went horribly, the human saw Scar and Skizz revive themselves for Void's sake!

In truth, they were never really dead. They really just couldn't bend their death-related rules they set for a day, huh? He has the urge to bury his face in the steering wheel as he drives. "This is why I avoid mortals," he grumbles to himself.

~

When they arrive at their designated "ghost hunting lobby," as they call it, they all devolve into various states of stress.

Grian face-plants into sofa and screams into a throw pillow, Eyes forming and popping around his head like lava. Impulse is pacing around the room like a maniac, pointed tail swishing back and forth in distress. Scar sits on the armchair, fiddling with his cane and pushing a hand through his hair, his eyes practically stapled open, gazing into space. Skizz just kind of stands there, his tail also swishing in anxiety as he dreads the inevitable.

Scar finally shatters the silence, "Now, I don't wanna point fingers, but," he points at Skizz, "kinda your fault, Skizz." There it is, there's what Skizz was dreading.

He tries to defend himself anyways, "Alright listen, I know that most of this is my fault for signing that dumb form, but you can't deny that we all messed up at least a little bit."

Impulse stops pacing at that. Grian doesn't move from his misery on the sofa, not reacting at all.

"I- yeah, Skizz is right. We all kind of screwed up. I think our main problem was how casually we acknowledged death. It's surprisingly easy to forget that humans don't view life as a game..." Impulse rubs the back of his neck, guilty.

Skizz still looks apologetic though, "Yeah, just know I'm really sorry about that. Maybe don't put me on mail duty anymore."

Scar stands up, his skin having taken on a blue blue sheen, his edges a little sharper, and small translucent wings behind him. "It's okay man, I probably would have done the same thing," he picks up a Jellie that's winding in between his legs, "plus we both kinda revived while Unnamed was right there, so you can't take all the blame for that."

"Thanks dude, that means a lot." Skizz slings an arm over Scar's shoulder.

Grian finally sits up, "So what happens now?" All heads turn to him, their stares questioning.

Eyes have never bothered Grian, since he has more of them, so he stands up fully and elaborates, "Well, within the next few days, the company is gonna know we're not human. What exactly do we do now?" A contemplating pause followed by a sad voice, "Do we... have to quit ghost hunting?"

The room goes deathly quiet. They... didn't think about that. Even Skizz and Scar look crestfallen. It's Impulse who pipes up, "No, we don't." he says surprisingly self-assured, all eyes now on him.

Impulse continues on, "I mean, Skizz and I just kinda showed up one day and they couldn't get rid of us, them knowing what we are isn't gonna change that. How exactly would they stop us?" The crew looks a little less depressed at that.

"Plus," Impulse looks hesitant for a moment, "Unnamed's reaction to death reminded me of how fragile human life really is, so even if we're only doing this for fun," he looks to each of them, "it makes me feel like we're protecting them, even if just by taking the lethal jobs."

Skizz perks up at the notion, and Scar breaks out into a grin, waltzing over to Impulse and slinging an arm over his shoulder. Jellie wanders off to go paw at Grian, who's sat back down, still squeezing that throw pillow.

Scar has regained his aura of grandeur, as he joins Impulse in cheering them up, "Yeah, I like that! We're helping by dying where they can't!" He looks very excited at the thought.

It's Skizz's turn to join the building huddle, an arm finding it's way on Impulse's other shoulder. "Oh yeah! Good guy Skizzleman, saving mortals from the horrors of death!" He pumps a fist in the air.

Grian gets up, Jellie trailing behind, and reluctantly joins the hug, arms around Scar and Skizz and his wings around all of them. "I don't care what happens to those humans, but whatever," grian mumbles. Impulse just smiles fondly at him, because despite how he pretends not to, Impulse can see just how much Grian truly cares. He doesn't have to understand mortals to care for them.

The soft moment is interrupted by a ding from Skizz's phone. They untangle their arms as Skizz checks what it is.

He perks up excitedly, "Oh, it's our report's review for the job!" He chuckles a bit, "If one good thing came out of signing that form, it's that we now get almost instant results!"

He clicks on the email, eager to see if they guessed right. Spoiler, they did not.

"What-?!" His face contorts to one of disbelief, "A Mare-?! How?" Grian shoots up at Skizz's outburst, clearly upset.

"What-?! Yeah how-?! That thing wasn't turning off any lights!" He squawks indignantly, a few Eyes floating over Skizz's shoulder to read it himself.

Scar looks wholly unaffected, "Eh, I don't really know how we got Onryo in the first place, I was too busy being dead."

Impulse seems to slowly come to a conclusion, "Well, if you think about it, we weren't really turning the lights on to begin with," his voice picks up a bit, "We were putting so many candles out for the Onryo test, that—"

Skizz finishes, "We stopped turning on the breaker 'cause the candlelight was enough!"

None of them have to turn around to see Grian facepalming, the scream of frustration enough for them to paint that picture themselves, "I hate this game!"

Grian isn't done with his rampage, "But wait, doesn't Mare also need spirit box?" He looks to Impulse for confirmation, and continues once he gets a nod, "But I did spirit box so well though! I had great coverage."

Impulse puts up a hand placatingly, "Yeah, I agree, you did spirit box pretty good, but we were on Nightmare, so spirit box probably just probably wasn't one of the two random evidence."

Grian crosses his arms, "Or maybe it's because someone," he casts a glare at Impulse, though he means nothing malicious by it, "just had to prestige, leaving us with shoddy level 1 equipment." He sighs however, "But you're probably right. We didn't really look that hard for Ghost Writing, did we?"

He wanders off to grumble to himself a little longer, and they all laugh at Grian's pity-party. They end up sitting on sofa together for a while, just chatting about things they couldn't talk about while Unnamed was there.

Impulse is telling a story from Hermitcraft earlier that day, but he stops when Gem comes up in it, paling, "Oh Void..."

Impulse's face unravels into one of dread, a realization forming, "Gem's gonna smack us all upside the head for this." Oh. Oh no. They all shudder in unison. They're screwed.

~•~

Thanks for reading my little self-indulgent AU-idea turned into a fic!

This was originally meant to just be an AU idea, but I blinked and I'd written a whole fic, so yeah.

I think I'll edit this a bit and post it on Ao3 too of that interests anyone.

Feel free to use the idea however you want, just tag me, I wanna see what you do :)

[libbytwq]

SMGL:E Log #24

Do you ever look at something so mundane and boring, but looking at it jumpstarts a memory you didn’t even know you had?

I knew I had gaps in my memories when I first showed up in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I didn’t know it was this bad...

Little unusual things have been making me remember something, but in chunks. The most I remember are the feelings I have on that subject. Not the subject specifically, though. Feelings and other things that are corresponding to it.

Thing is, my feelings keep appearing when I think of specific letters. How stupid is that? Why do I feel strange emotions toward letters of the alphabet???

...Here, explaining each one might help me get my thoughts in order.

The letter “L”. I think of me, obviously. SMGL:E. ...SMGL. ...There’s a word there somewhere, I know it. The L stands for something... whatever it is, I have no clue.

The letter “K”. This one feels immensely important, for some reason. I think of the color pink. The shape of a four pointed diamond. The number two. I think of dolphins, too? And I think very... positively about the letter K. Like... an unbreakable bond. Really strange... maybe its a sign that Karen and I are meant to be? Hehehe... I dunno. Probably not. When I look at Karen I think of a different vibe. The letter K is a more... platonic love. Familial, maybe? The feeling one might get from loving a sibling. Very positive. Why? No clue.

The letter “J”. I feel a strong connection to this one, too. I think of teal, the number one, and spades – y'know, the shape. The one you might find in a deck of cards. I also think of rats. Why rats? So random... I’ll be honest, whenever I look at SMG3, I think of these things, too. These “J” feelings are awfully similar. As in, the chaos and ridiculousness. However, I think much more positively towards “J” than I do SMG3. Strange.

The letter “M”. Another strong connection. Clubs, like another symbol in cards... blue... lions... four... I get reminded of SMG4 sometimes, too. Not even just the color, and the number... the attitude. The responsibility, and the silliness. However, “M” I like more. I feel like this “M” would keep me safe.

...I keep wanting to put "J" and "M" together. They mix together quite nicely. Like they were made for each other. I'm not sure why, but it makes so much sense.

“N”. This has such a strong connection too, in more ways than one... almost like I’m made from it, and made for it. Reds and oranges... wolves... five... a strange beauty. An emotional connection like one I might feel for Karen, but a spiritual connection like the one I feel when I think about Princess Peach. But even with how much I feel bitter about Peach, my feelings toward this “N”... it’s nice. Pleasant. Affectionate...

“I”. Black, and gray, and white... three... I feel like it melds with me perfectly, yet terrible to allow to meld with me... ...No. I don’t like thinking too hard about “I”. Every time I do, I feel weird. Some type of anger. Bitterness. But at the same time... some type of love. But I don’t want to think about it too hard. I don’t want to keep thinking about it.

...I think I’m done writing for today.

[endthedream]

a dream come true

Pairing: Cupid!Jaemin x Human!Reader (she/her)

Summary: As the son of Cupid, Jaemin has been surrounded by love his entire life. But what happens when he gets sent on earth to pass a test that will determine his whole life? And what happens when he breaks the only rule he was ever given?

Words: 16k

Story color: soft pink

Note: Hello! As you can see, this was supposed to be out on Valentine’s Day, but since I got really sick and kept up by a lot of work at my job, I only finished writing now. I hope you can still enjoy it and that you are excited for more! Always remember to spread kindness~

masterlist of 'nct as supernatural creatures'

Love. One word. 4 letters. Billions of songs about it. And almost every person on this world is craving it.

It’s a marvelous feeling.

Racing hearts, sweaty hands, butterflies in your belly. You name it all.

Jaemin has been surrounded by it all his life. Being the son of Cupid, it was given. From the moment he was born he learned the main aspect of love. From the basic fact of what it is to how to spark it in others.

He has never experienced it himself, being held up at the house of his father, having to learn everything about the subject of love.

“The lovers, obviously. This card represents a unique bond and deep connection between two people. Its presence in a reading reflects a very authentic relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect.”, Jaemins teacher speaks, showing him the said tarot card. “Then there also is the card two cups. This one often reflects the commitment made to one another within a monogamous relationship. Then there is one of my favorites. The ace of cups. It heralds a new relationship filled with excitement, joy and happiness. This is the type of bliss you once experienced as a teenager in love, with butterflies in your stomach and a desire to spend every waking minute with your new love.”

Jaemin doesn’t even listen anymore. He already knows all this stuff, having taught himself the meaning of the love tarot cards by reading the books about them in his dad’s library. Even though Jaemin spends every waking hour hearing about the subject of love, he can’t seem to get enough of it. Not of the facts and statistics, no, but of the actual experience of falling into deep and unconditional love.

At night when he is supposed to sleep, he sneaks out of his room to read novels, the once his father tried to hide from him. By now he almost read all of the once he found. Sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about how his life would be if he was a human, living down on earth and being free to experience life in his full grace. Going on late night drives, going to high school and prom, getting a job, going grocery shopping but actually just putting sweets in his cart, having movie nights where he just ends up falling asleep half way through the movie, buying a shitty car that breaks down at the most unfortunate moments, but keeping it because he build up an emotional connection with it and most importantly fall in love. Fall into unconditional, breathtaking, gut shaking, heart wrenching love. God, does he crave that. But he can’t have it.

Jaemin can’t fall in love. Why? Because his father forbids him to. Even though love is the most desired feeling, his father banned his son from feeling it. Because with love comes heartbreak. The pain that consumes your body, that converts your thoughts and changes you. It turns you into something you never wanted to be, broken and sad. It leaves you huddled up in a corner, shaking and screaming into the void. It’s something you don’t even whish your greatest enemies.

In Cupids eyes he saved his son from this potential misery. In Jaemin’s eyes his father represses him. He holds Jaemin back from living the life he always wanted to live. Jaemin feels trapped, wronged and alone, held back from the one thing he always desired to have.

“Jaemin? Are you even listening?”, his teacher asks him.

“Sorry, Ma’am.”, he stutters out. “I was just caught up in my own thoughts.”

She speaks, adjusting the reading glasses that are lying at the bridge of her nose. “Were you daydreaming again? You know what your father says about daydreaming. It’s-“

“A waste of time and keeps me away from my duties. I know, I know.”, he interrupts her. “I’ve heard this a million times before.”

“If you heard it a million times, then why do you keep doing it? You need to learn, and you can’t learn if you don’t pay attention.”, she says, taking her glasses off and looking at him with a stern yet slightly sympathetic look. She always confuses him. One moment she is the most stern and bullheaded person, and in the next moment she is empathic and friendly. It’s like she carries two completely different personalities inside of her and she switches them up however she likes. “You have a very big test soon, which dedicates your future, Jaemin. It’s not good to waste your time with unnecessary things like sinking into your thoughts and dreaming about other realities. You have to put your focus on the present, the here and now. You must realize the weight of your situation.”

Jaemin nods, knowing that her statement has its truth, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to know the responsibilities he has to face soon, because this is not the life he wants.

“Okay, it’s getting late. How about you turn into bed earlier today and we continue with this tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”, he croaks out. “Sounds good.” His teacher gives him one last smile, before packing up and leaving him in the room by himself.

Instead of going to bed though, Jaemin grabs himself a book and sits down on the chair on his balcony. It’s crazy how his house, more like a mansion, is so big, filled to the brim with people, yet he feels so alone. His balcony is the only place he doesn’t have to feel that way. It’s like for a moment everything, his whole life, is different. He isn’t Jaemin, the son of the god of love and desire, no, he is just Jaemin, the boy with dreams and hopes. He doesn’t have responsibilities, he just exists. He breaths, he smiles, he feels. And most importantly, he dreams. He has the time to read and think about the life he will never have. And he does exactly that until the sun starts to peek out and the sky goes from dark to light.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.” Jaemin pauses, the spoon full of cereal halfway in his mouth.

“What?”, he lets out, thinking he didn’t hear right.

“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.”, the little angel repeats.

“Why?”, he asks, looking at the winged creature. He grew up around angels, most of them hired as maids around the house, doing the chores his father is too busy to do.

“I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He just said it’s urgent. So, I advise you to hurry up and go talk to him.”

Suddenly losing his appetite, he drops his spoon back into the bowl and stands up. It’s pretty known to the common folk that the gods are occupied people, having to watch over the humans and do their assigned work. For your dad it’s finding two individuals with matching traits and hitting them with his arrow, to make them fall in love with each other until the end of their time. That keeps up most of his time. Because not only does he have to find people, but he also has to match things like personality traits, interests, hobbies. You name it.

That’s why Jaemin rarely sees him. Well, actually, he never sees him. Once in a blue moon maybe. If he’s lucky he sees him fly by and get a little hello from him, but that didn’t happen in a while. Especially with Valentines Day nearing. So, it’s understandable why his stomach dropped to the ground and his hands started to shake, the minute the angel mentioned his father.

A small ‘Come in’ is heard from the door after Jaemin knocked on it. He takes a deep breath, before opening the door to his father’s office and taking a step in.

“Ah, son, you’re here. Great. Take a seat, I will be right with you.” He watches as his dad scribbles down a few things into a notebook as he takes a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk. His office looks exactly like you would imagine it to look. Pink and red. Hearts everywhere and a few arrows on the wall. The furniture a dark brown wood, creating a nice contrast to the bright pink in the rest of the room. When Jaemin was a child, he once asked his dad why he made his office look like a teenage girl who just experienced her first love. To that he just got a small chuckle and a short answer. “Because it reminds me of what my job is supposed to be.” That has stuck with Jaemin. To every normal person that was just a simple sentence, stating a simple statement, but to Jaemin it changed his whole view on his dad’s job. If his dad has to turn his office into an exploded love bomb, then the job itself can’t be the most enjoyable one. He knows it’s stressful and time consuming, but he doesn’t want to imagine how lonely and depressing it is to watch people constantly fall in love while all you do is sit in your office and work on the next couple. That’s definitely not the life Jaemin wants.

“I decided what your test is going to be about.”, Cupid speaks, sitting down on his chair. “You know how it is my job to find people who fit together and then bring them together.” Jaemin nods, intertwining his slightly shaking hands and lying them down on his lap.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. This test is important, not only to him or his father, but also to the other God’s. He has to proof that he was worth doing this job and if he fails this test… he doesn’t even want to think about that.

“I do this work from here, far away from where the love is actually happening. So I decided in order for you to pursue this work, you have to see it, face to face. I’m sending you down on earth and your task is it to make two people fall in love by Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day? That’s in 6 days.”, Jaemin exclaims with shock layering his voice.

“I know. That’s why you’re going tomorrow.” His father turns to him, leaning his arms on the table in front of him and looking his son into his eyes.

“I’m sending you to a high school, teenagers are easy to set up and would potentially not be to hard of a challenge. But since this is still a test, there is one condition. You can not use any powers. All you are allowed to use is your knowledge of love.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“You can talk to people, do nice acts. It’s your part to figure that out.”

For a while both of them just sit there in silence, Jaemin having to let all of this sink in.

“I know this is a lot for you and you may think that it’s too hard, but I know you can do it, Jaemin. You are good at what you do and you do it with a passion, and that’s what matters.” His father smiles at him and Jaemin swears he could have teared up at that moment. The last time he heard his father told him encouraging words was probably when he was 7 years old and fell off trying to balance on a rope that the angels build for him. His father helped him up and told him to try it again, giving him the at advice that with time and practice comes knowledge and safety. So Jaemin tried and tried, over and over again, until finally he crossed the whole rope without falling off. Cupid hugged the younger boy and told him he was proud of him.

“Thanks, dad.”, he mumbles quickly, picking at the skin of his nails.

“Go back up and prepare for tomorrow. I’m going to send you down on earth pretty early.”

With another nod, Jaemin stands up and walks towards the door. But before he can grab the doorknob, his father speaks up again. “And Jaemin?”

“Yes?”, he turns around.

“Don’t fall in love with anyone.”

Day 1

Jaemin has been dreaming about going to high school ever since he started reading about them in books, but actually going to one – even if it’s just for a week – is making him completely nervous. He spent the whole night trying to make a plan on how to pass his test and he came up with nothing. Nothing at all. He never actually made people fall in love. Yes, he has read about it, learned all things about it and even watched his dad do it, but doing it himself is frightening.

Walking through the hallways is making that even worse. He never realized how many students there actually are in a high school. The halls are big, way too big for Jaemin’s liking. Everything is decorated with hearts and flyers that talk about Valentines Day.

“Na Jaemin?”, an elderly woman calls out his name.

“Yes.”, his voice cracks a little, making him clear his throat before continuing to speak. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Great. Follow me.”, she says walking through a door. Jaemin walks after her, ignoring the stares of some students. “This is a map of the school, and this is your timetable. It has all your classes on, where they are and how you can get to them. I assigned someone to help you get used to the settings. She should be here in any second.”

“She-“, Jaemin gets cut off by someone storming into the room.

“Sorry, Ms. Johnson, I overslept and then the bus driver started to flirt with me again and said he will only let me on if I go on a date with him, so obviously I said no. Then he had the audacity to say I should at least hike my skirt up a bit when sitting down to give him some motivation to drive annoying kids to school and then I almost kicked him in the nuts, but luckily-“

Jaemin has never heard someone talk so much in such a short amount of time. He stands there the whole time, mouth hanging open, trying to follow a thing you are saying.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you are rambling again.”

“Oh, right, yeah.”, you say, taking a huge breath. “Anyway, you must be the new guy. I’m Y/N and I’m in charge of making sure you are not getting lost in here.” You reach your hand out to Jaemin, which he takes and shakes.

This is the first time Jaemin catches a glance of your face. Never in his life has he seen someone this gorgeous, and he was surrounded by Gods and Goddesses growing up.

“I’m Jaemin.”, his voice comes out a bare whisper.

You on the other side try not to let your eyes bulge out of your head. You swear that you have never seen someone this mesmerizing before. It’s like he was sculptured by gods. And his smile, oh god his smile. It makes you want to throw yourself on your bed and kick your legs like a fourteen-year-old. And his hand - that you are weirdly enough still holding – is so soft. You have never held a hand that is so smooth.

“Since you two seem to get along well, I suggest you leave my office and get to class, before Jaemin gets detention on his first day.”

You just nod, letting go of Jaemin’s hand and grabbing your stuff. Holding the door open, you let Jaemin step outside first, before following him. You look around the hallway, seeing all the decoration and the couples walking around while holding hands. All you can do is roll your eyes. It’s not like you hate Valentines Day, you just hate the message behind it. Why would you create a day to show love to your partner, when you can do that every single day that you spend with them. It’s an excuse for people to show the love they neglected to show their partners over the rest of the year. It’s not about love, it’s about proving people something you are not.

“We have most classes together.”, you speak up after a few seconds. “What a coincidence, right? First class is Math, which I hate by the way, but the teacher is cool. He always has some Math puns, some of them are dad jokes, but others are actually laughable. Well, I actually don’t understand most of them, but I laugh anyway to get better grades.”

You speak a lot. That’s one thing Jaemin makes a mental note on. Not that that’s a bad thing. He just never had someone speak so much to him.

“You are not much of a talker, huh?”, you say as you two walk into your shared math class.

“Not really.”, he shakes his head, sitting down beside you.

“Any reason why or are you just a general introverted person?” A reason? He has never thought about a reason. He was just always a quiet person. Of course, he has his opinions and thoughts, but he doesn’t want to share them all the time. He much rather prefers them to stay in his mind and his mind only. Maybe it’s because he grew up excluded from most people, kept up in his room most of the time. He just never really had someone to confine in, so he simply never did share his mind with anyone.  

“Guess I’m just an introverted person.” You nod, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“What?”, he asks, confusion and maybe a hint of insecurity layering his voice. He feels a bit naked when you look at him like that, like he is an open book, and you can read every chapter of him with just one single look.

“Nothing, it’s just that I feel like you’re not exactly aware of the presence you carry.”

“I carry a presence?”, he looks down at himself. There is nothing special about him. He doesn’t wear anything out of the ordinary, nor has he done anything special with his hair and yes he applied a bit of concealer, but only under his eyes to hide the eyebags from not sleeping the night before. Other than that, he tried to look as normal and human as he could.

“Yeah, you have an aura to you. Something that makes people stop and stare. Haven’t you noticed that everyone in the classroom stopped talking the moment you walked in?” No, he actually hasn’t. He was so focused on listening to you, that he hasn’t paid any attention to the other students in the classroom. Looking around now, he catches a few of the girls in the first row look at him, but immediately looking away the moment he makes eye contact with them. How did he completely block that out?

“See.”, you point out. “You are so oblivious to it and that makes you even more captivating. It’s crazy. You could easily get with all the girls in this school if you wanted to.”, you pause, looking at his widened eyes. “Or guys. Sorry, don’t want to assume anything.”

“It’s fine. It’s just that-“, before he can finish his sentence, the bell rings, signaling that class starts. And on cue the teacher walks in. Guess you will have to continue this conversation another time.

While class went on rather smoothly, Jaemin feels lost in a trance. This is everything he has ever wanted. Sitting in a classroom, writing notes and learning something new. It feels like a dream to him, a dream from which he never wants to wake up.

“Okay, you are one of the weirdest people I have ever met.”, you suddenly say as you try to catch up to him. Jaemin was just about to find a quiet place to sit down and observe the people around him.

“What do you mean?”, he asks, walking a little slower so you can match his steps.

“I have never seen someone be so interested in math. You looked at those numbers like you love them.” Jaemin lets out a quiet laugh. “No, I’m serious. You looked at them like you want to ask them out on a date to a fancy restaurant where you eat overprized pasta and wine that tastes like petrol. Then after a successful date, you drop them off by walking them to their front door and before you leave, you give them a sweet kiss, but you don’t overdo it, since it’s the first date and you want them to crave more.”

Finally finding a good place where he can look over the whole school yard, he sits down. You take a seat next to him before continuing. “Obviously you will start to date and spend your whole high school life together. You become the couple everyone is jealous of, and your life is great. You take them to prom, where you promise to stay together always. But that is until graduation and you realize that you go to different colleges that are miles away from each other. Your whole relationship will face a very hard challenge, but as expected you manage it well. You facetime every night, visit each other on holidays and eventually you graduate from college. You move together, get jobs, and spend each Saturday night having a Disney movie night. On your 6th anniversary you ask them to marry you, to which they obviously say yes. After your amazing wedding, you start to have some problems. The secretary at the company that you’re working with is flirting with you and the numbers start to get jealous. You reassure them, but the insecurity of not being enough is slowly killing them from the inside. And what will help you through it? The decision of having children. Which you will have 10 or more with them. The end.”

The whole time Jaemin sits there with a smile on his face. How can a person come up with such a bizarre story in such a short time?

“Are you done?”, he asks, humor lingering in his voice. You roll your eyes, grabbing a lunch box from your backpack.

“My whole point is that you are weird.”

“Tell me something new.”, Jaemin says, grabbing something from his backpack as well.

“What do you have there?”, you ask, taking a bite from your apple.

“Just something.”, he states, trying not to let you see the things written in the notebook he took out. In the notebook stands everything he has learned about love over the curse of his life.

Jaemin looks around the yard, observing the people and trying to find a pattern in their behavior. When someone is in love you can see it in the way they carry themselves around the person they like. Their body language, like leaning forward while talking or fiddling with their hands. Their facial expressions, batting their eyes or biting their lips. The constant need of physical touch or the very obvious avoiding of any sort of physical contact. The lingering stares, the twisting of their hair or the staring at the ground whenever the other person passes them by. Jaemin knows all the signs and he can differ them from love and antipathy.

“You look like a creep watching the students.”, you cut off his thoughts.

“Hm?”, he lets out, bringing his focus back to you.

“If you want gossip about the students, you could have just asked me, you know? But looking at them like that will just get you punched in the face, so stop it.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice I was starring.”, he clears his throat and nervously plays with the hem of his shirt.

You let out a small laugh. “You’re cute when you get nervous.” He looks up at you, shocked at your statement, but you continue talking before he can think about it more. “But do you want the gossip?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Okay, so the couple that you looked, well more stared at, is Renjun and his girlfriend. She doesn’t go to school here, but she visits him whenever she can. It’s kind of cute, but when you spend just 5 minutes with Renjun, you won’t find it cute anymore. All he talks about is his girlfriend and that 24/7. ‘Oh, I miss her.’ ‘I hope she thinks of me.’ ‘Why can’t she just go to this school.’ ‘Have you seen her new pictures? She looks like an angel.’ Ugh.”, you make a puking sound, to which Jaemin just snickers. He finds that cute. Imagine having someone that loves you so much that the only thing they think and talk about is you.

“Anyway, let’s get to the juicy part. There is this guy, Mark, and well he has to be one of the most awkward human beings to ever set a foot on this earth. I had to do one biology project with him, and he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I think girls just intimidate him. Anyway, I heard that he has a crush on this girl named Cherry. I don’t know her real name, that’s just what she goes with. But he seems to be down bad with her, but he is too awkward to make a move. Honestly, he is a hopeless case.”

Jaemin listens attentively, practically hanging off your lips at this point. “I don’t think he is a hopeless case.”, he says, scribbling in his notebook. “I mean just because someone is awkward around the person they like, doesn’t mean that they will never eventually find love. I think he just needs some encouragement, someone to hype him up and give him some confidence.”

You look at him with your eyebrows raised. “Are you some kind of love coach or what is happening right now?”

Jaemin freezes upon you saying that, not knowing how to react to that. “No!”, he exclaims. “I mean, no, of course not. I just feel bad for him.”

“Why? You went through the same thing?”

“No, not really. I mean, I never had a crush on someone before.”

“What?”, your voice comes out louder than you wanted to. “You never had a crush before? How?”

“I don’t know. I just never did. Can we please change the subject? Don’t you like have friends that are waiting for you?”

“First of all, rude how you desperately try to get rid of me. And second, I do have two best friends. But they are sick today. Well, no, they stayed at home to play video games.”, you roll your eyes as you say that. “Stupid boys, they must attend every competition and will even skip school for that. They purposely left me all alone at school, but it’s fine, because now I can hang out with you.”

A small shade of red appears on Jaemins cheeks after you say that. He feels the slight burn and immediately brings his hand to his face. He has never blushed before. That was the first time, and it was because of you. You didn’t even compliment him or flirt with him. You simply just stated that you can hang out with him. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Anyway,”, you say, packing your bag again. “I have to go before I miss my bus. See you tomorrow?”, you ask.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”, he sends you a small smile.

He watches you leave until he can’t see you anymore, before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Taking his notebook, he reads the notes he wrote over and over again, until an idea pops up in his mind. The awkward boy you were talking about, might be the key to making Jaemin pass his test.

Day 2

Jaemin spend the whole night taking and perfecting his notes. He figures that the best way is to get close to Mark, earn his trust. From there on he just has to ask the right questions, get Mark to admit his crush and then help him with some simple tips. It’s a piece of cake.

“Question.”, Jaemin says as he walks up to you at lunch, sitting down next to you.

“Oh my god.”, you exclaim, putting a hand on your chest out of shock. “You scared the shit out of me. Can you not sneak up on people.”

“Sorry.”, Jaemin sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

“You have a question?”

“Oh yeah. Are you close with Cherry?”, he asks, taking out a water bottle from his backpack and taking a sip.

“Why? You want to steal her from Mark?”, humor laces your voice, but Jaemin doesn’t get that. Instead, his eyes widen, and his ears turn into the shade of a tomato.

“No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“Relax Jaemin. I was just joking.” After you say that, you can see his body visibly relaxing. It’s kind of cute, you think. “To answer your question, no not really. I have chemistry class with her, and we worked on a project together. She is really nice, but we never got close. She’s got her own friend group.”

“Okay, thank you.” Before Jaemin can continue the conversation, you both hear someone call your name.

“Y/N, darling.”, two boys walk up to the table you sit on and take a place at either side of you.

“Ah, so you decided to finally come back to school instead of wasting your time on stupid games.”

Jaemin watches as the three of you interact. This must be the two best friends you mentioned yesterday. As Jaemin continues to watch he notices the two boys having completely different body languages. That’s another thing he learned over the years. Analyzing people based on their body languages. It has helped him a lot to see who he should talk to and who he should avoid.

The boy to your left has his shoulders up, not in a defensive way, but more in a shy way. His light brown hair badly needs a haircut, as it falls into his eyes and he has to brush it away with his fingers every few seconds. He seems like a quiet and reserved person, more like Jaemin himself. Someone who hides his thoughts and feelings.

The second boy on the other hand, seems like the most open person. He carries himself with a lot of confidence that you can see by the way he enters a room. He is aware of the eyes that are on him, and he enjoys the attention. The boy has a relaced presence, like nothing in the world could ever stop him. And just from that bit of information Jaemin can gather, he feels jealous. Because the black-haired boy is everything Jaemin ever wanted to be.

“Yeah, I mean we felt bad for leaving you alone.”, the guy on your left says, with a guilty look on his face.

“Yeah, we just couldn’t leave our dear Y/N alone and miserable any longer.”, black haired guy sing-songs as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. Jaemin feels a weird feeling appear in his chest upon seeing that, but he tries to ignore it before it expands. “But as I can see, you are not so alone after all.”

The attention of all three people is suddenly on Jaemin. He tries to muster up a smile and holds out his hand. “I’m Jaemin. I am new here.”

Both boys look at each other before chuckling. “Nice one that you got there.” Jaemin lowers his hand again. You scoff at your two friends, feeling bad for Jaemin, who looks at the three of you like a lost puppy.

“Guys don’t be so mean. He is just trying to be polite and make a good first impression.”, you reason with them before removing your friends arm from your shoulder and giving them both a slight punch for being so rude. “Now be nice and introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Jeno.”, the one on the left says, giving Jaemin a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Haechan.”, the one who had his arm wrapped around you speaks up.

“Now that we all introduced each other, Jaemin can be added as a final member to our cool friend group.”, you smile. “Maybe he can be a good influence on you two and stop you from playing so many video games.”

“I doubt that. I bet Jaemin plays as much as we do.”, Heachan voices, sending Jaemin an expecting look.

“No, I actually never played video games.”

You gasp in delight, reaching over and grabbing Jaemins hands. “Thank God. Finally, someone who is not obsessed with those stupid games. Oh, Jaemin we will get along so well.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin ends up at the school’s library after school. In his physics class he hears people raving about Mark’s abilities in the physics department. With that knowledge Jaemin wants to tell Mark he needs someone to help him with physics, a tutor is what it’s called. And the perfect match for that is Mark himself.

“Are you Mark?”, Jaemin asks a boy sitting at a table.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m Jaemin and I’m new here.”

“Oh yeah, I know who you are.”, Mark says, dropping the pen he was holding.

“You do?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, clearly confused by the statement.

“Yeah, dude. Everyone’s talking about you. You became some kind of legend around this school.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I don’t know man. They just say stuff about how handsome you are and how you look like a Greek god.” Jaemin’s shocked for a few second. He didn’t think the people in this school would even notice him, but now they are comparing him to the Gods? He feels blessed and guilty at the same time. Where he comes from the gods are the highest powers and admired by everyone, his father being one of them. They are known to have visuals like sculptures and strong, dominant personalities. So yes, he feels very honored to be compared to them, but he could never actually be like them. He is not on their level and will probably never be. “What’s up, dude?”

“Well,”, he stutters out. “I heard you are good at physics. I’ve been really struggling with that subject, and I was thinking that maybe you could help me a little, so I won’t fail my next class.”

Mark looks unsure for a second, putting his hand on his forehead and sighing. “Dude, I would really like to, but I have so many tests coming up and my mom is literally going to chop my balls off if I fail any of these.”

“Oh.”, Jaemin lets out a sound of disappointment. “No worries. Good luck with your tests.”

He turns around to leave, saddened that his plan didn’t work. Seeing the boy’s reaction, Mark starts to feel bad. Maybe he can spare a few hours tutoring him.

“Dude, wait up.” Jaemin lifts his head and turns around to look at Mark. “Meet me here tomorrow after school and we will go over some stuff, okay?”

Jaemin’s eyes light up at that. “Really? Thank you so much, Mark. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

As Jaemin walks out of the school, he realizes he has one problem. He doesn’t know how to make friends. I mean he has you now, but that wasn’t really a huge act, since you were put up with each other by the school’s secretary at the first day. And yes, he now has Jeno and Haechan as well, but that only happened, because you included Jaemin into the friend group.

Jaemin never had to make friends before. He was always content with being in his room and reading. At gatherings with Gods, he always kept himself out of conversations, letting his dad do that part.

What do you talk about with other people? What questions are okay to ask and which topic should he avoid bringing up?

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you ask, as you come up behind Jaemin.

Jaemin flinches, not expecting someone talking to him. “God, Y/N, you scared me.”

You let out a small laugh, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it in a comforting manor. “Sorry, you just looked so adorable while being deep in your own world, I had to know what is going on inside your head. And now we can call it quits for you scaring me earlier.”

Jaemin lowers his head to hide the blush that was slowly creeping up his neck. He doesn’t understand the effect you have on him. “It’s fine. I am just very jumpy, I guess.”

You smile, walking in front of him so you can face him. “So, want to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“How do you make friends?”, he asks, looking up and into your eyes.

“Friends? Why do you want to know that?”

Jaemin looks at you, not sure if he should tell you about his plan of befriending Mark. But he decides against it. What if you think that you don’t want to be friends with him anymore? Of course, he still wants that.

“Oh, just asking. I never really had friends in my old school, and I have some classes where you’re not in and it would be cool to not totally be alone in them.” He sees your lips quirk up at that.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Another wave of blush hits Jaemin and this time he is too slow to hide it. You catch a glimpse of his crimson cheeks and something about that makes your heart beat faster.

“Well, I’m not the best at giving advice in that department. I only had Jeno and Haechan as my friends my whole life and never made any effort to be friends with anyone else. But maybe I can ask Haechan. He is some sort of social butterfly. He makes friends everywhere he goes.”

Jaemin nods at that. It makes sense, after you all left the cafeteria earlier to get to your classes, he has seen Haechan talk to at least 5 people on the way.

“How about you give me your number and I will text you as soon as I asked him?”, you ask, reaching for your phone in your pocket.

“I don’t have a phone.”, Jaemin states, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“What? You have no phone? Not even a house phone.”

“Oh, yeah that I have. Just no cellphone.”, you shake your head, putting back your phone and grabbing a pen instead.

“You should really get one so we can get in contact outside of school as well.” You grab his arm and scribble down your number on it. “Call me in two hours with your house phone and then we can talk about the whole friend making thing, okay?”

Jaemin nods his head again, glancing down to your hand that is still holding his arm. “Speak to you later.”, you smile at him and give him a quick wink, before turning around and walking away.

‘I am so fucked.’, Jaemin thinks as he watches you leave with a fast beating heart.

Day 3  

Jaemin is tired. Beyond tired. He thinks he might fall asleep while trying to pay attention in class.

He spent the entire evening and half of the night on the phone with you. It was planned that you two would just discuss the tips and tricks Haechan had, but somehow the topics shifted and the two of you started talking about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you telling him stories about your life, but he didn’t mind that. He loved listening to your voice, hearing the different type of emotions you’re going through while talking. Jaemin has never done that - having a phone call. It’s so different from talking to someone in person. For him it feels like he can talk more openly. Phone calls have such a vulnerability to them. There is no one sitting in front of you, no one that can judge you for having your emotions. You don’t have to worry about your looks, if your hair sits right, if you have anything stuck in your teeth or if your clothes are wrinkly or not. You can just be you. You, your voice, and your thoughts.

Jaemin hasn’t seen you this morning and he is not sure how to face you. It feels weird after you shared so much of each other yesterday. Is he supposed to say anything to you when he sees you? Does he thank you for the phone call or for you opening up to him?

He doesn’t have enough time to think about that, because the bell rings, signaling that it’s the break. He grabs his things and walks outside the classroom but stops in his tracks. You are there, leaning against the lockers with your phone in your hand, your other one hiding behind your back. As you hear the students filling up the hallway, you look up to find Jaemin looking at you with a certain nervousness in his demeanor.  

“Hey dear.”, you say, making your way over to him.

“What are you doing here?”, Jaemin asks, taking you in. Is he imagining it or are you even more beautiful today?

“Going to school? Am I not allowed to go to my own school anymore?”, humor laces your voice as you form those questions. There are meant in a teasing way, but for some reason Jaemin doesn’t understand that.

“No. I mean, you can go to school. I just meant to ask what you are doing in front of my classroom.”

You let out a small laugh, as you take his hand and start walking towards the cafeteria. “I was just kidding.”, you reassure him. “And I was just being nice and picking you up so we can eat lunch together. Or do you not want to eat lunch with me?”

“Of course, I want to eat lunch with you!”, he eagerly says, nodding his head and looking at you with wide eyes. He almost looks like a puppy and for some reason you find that incredibly adorable.

“Good, because I would have annoyed you until you gave in anyway.”, you smile up to him, seeing his ears turn red. “And I got this for you.”, you add, showing him your other hand with a red rose in it.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, as he slowly takes the rose from your hand. “Thank you, Y/N. But why?”

“Well, they sell roses in school as a little Valentine’s special and I thought I should buy you one as a little thank you present for our phone call yesterday.”

“You really didn’t have to.”, he says, still a little taken back by your kindness.

“It’s no big deal, Jaemin.” But you don’t know how big of a deal that is to him. You don’t know that that is the nicest thing someone has ever done for him, and he will keep the rose even when it’s old and withered.

You give him one last smile before walking into the cafeteria with him right behind you. Spotting Haechan and Jeno, you two take a place at their table.

“Great, you are finally here. Jaemin, we need your advice as the third male in our friend group.”, Haechan speaks up not even a second after you two sat down.

“Oh god, this can only be bad.”, you say, taking a sip of your water.

“Jeno here says that if you want to take out a girl for the first date, you should go to a fancy restaurant. Like pick her up with flowers, wear your best suit, eat together and then after the dinner take a little walk before dropping her off at home. But I think that’s so boring. Why not do something fun and memorable? Like going to an amusement park together. Not dressed up, but in your normal everyday clothes. It seems so much more authentic that way and I think the girl would be a lot more impressed afterwards. What do you think? Which date idea is better?”

“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be asking Y/N because she is a girl.”

Haechan shakes his head, giving Jaemin a pointed look. “Y/N is weird. She never has good advice when it comes to dating.”

“Hey! That’s not true. I give great advice.”, you protest, pouting slightly and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night. Anyway, Jaemin please answer the question.”

Jaemin thinks for a second, gathering all his knowledge before answering.

“Well, first of all, not every girl is the same. A lot of girls like going to fancy restaurants, but there are also some who absolutely despise that. I think you should first get to know their basic interests before asking them out on a date. What do they like? What are they into? Are they more of an introverted or an extroverted person? Do they like to stay inside more or go outside? Based on that you can decide which type of date would fit more. But if you can’t get that knowledge, I would always go with something simpler. A first date is there to get to know the other person and see if you two can potentially work in a relationship. While a fancy restaurant is a great place to sit down and talk, there is a lot of pressure around you. Rich people staring at you, having to constantly be aware how you look while eating and also getting interrupted at the most unfitting times by your waiter. So, I would not suggest that. An amusement park sounds like a fun idea and is definitely memorable, but it is not a great place to get to know each other. You can barely talk with all the noises, there are people constantly running into you and let’s not talk about the overprized rides and food. Just keep it simple. Maybe meet up in a cute little café, where you can sit down for a while and talk. Then take a walk, enjoying each other’s company. Watching the sunset together will give it a more romantic note as well and then walk her home and ending it with giving her a kiss on the cheek.”

All three friends look at Jaemin with wide eyes and their mouths hung open.

“Are you some kind of dating god? Why was this the best advice I have ever heard?”, Jeno says, not really believing what just happened.

“Man, you must be swimming in pussy.”, Haechan comments, leaning back in his chair. Jaemin blushes at that comment, not because it’s true – which obviously is not – but more of embarrassment of the word choice.

“Na Jaemin, I think I just fell in love with you.”, you say, putting a hand on your chest for dramatic effect. The blush on his cheeks gets darker, spreading around his neck and ears as well.

“I think you are not the only one who is falling for someone.” Jeno and Haechan both look at each other with a knowing look.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin is early, maybe a little too early at the school’s library. He just couldn’t wait and was way too nervous. After the encounter earlier where Jeno called him a ‘dating god’, he feels much more confident in his abilities. Jaemin was never so sure of passing a test in his life. His father will be proud of him.

“Hey bro.”, Marks greets Jaemin as he sits down in front of him.

“Hey Mark.”, Jaemin smiles, nervously fondling with his hands under the table. This is it. This is his chance to prove everyone, to prove his father that Jaemin is worth taking the title as love god. All these years will finally be worth it. He can’t make any mistakes now. “Thank you again for agreeing to tutor me. It means a lot.”

“No problem, dude.”, Mark shrugs taking out the books he brought. “Well, how about we make a deal. Since I’m helping you with physics, how about you help me with something as well?”

“Yeah sure. With what?”

“Well,”, Mark starts, rubbing his neck in an awkward manor. “I talked to Haechan earlier and he told me about the great advice you gave him on dates and stuff like that. And I was wondering if you could help me as well?”

Jaemins gulps, getting even more nervous now. “I can try.”

Mark shows Jaemin a bright smile. “Great. So, I have this crush on this girl and believe me it’s been so long. And for some reason I can’t figure out how to talk to her or approach her without making a total fool of myself. Can you help me somehow?”

On the inside Jaemin is celebrating a huge party with confetti, balloons, and a band. On the outside Jaemin has to control himself to not let Mark see how happy he is at this request.

“Well, what do you know about her so far? What are her interests, things she likes, things she doesn’t like?”

Mark doesn’t even hesitate before answering. “She likes reading. I see her read almost every day. She is also obsessed with anything that has to do with cherries. That’s why her friends gave her the nickname Cherry. She likes to listen to softer music instead of loud and upbeat music. Sometimes when she listens to music, she closes her eyes like she takes in every single note and makes it her own. She loves fashion and likes to express herself through that. She doesn’t like the consistency of tomatoes because she thinks they are too squishy inside. Whenever someone opens a can of RedBull she crunches up her face in such a cute way because she hates the smell. She hates anyone who is mean to other people and is always the first one to stand up for the people who get bullied. She is also more of an introverted person and apparently hates small talk a lot which makes it harder for me to come up with something to talk to her about, because I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable around me.”

Jaemins nods along as Marks speaks, trying to memorize the different facts he listed.

“You seem to know a lot about her already Mark and you should use that to your advantage. Talk to her about the things you know she likes. Like music or her clothes. That will make her see that you are interested in the things she likes and that you pay attention to her. Maybe even search for two or three songs that you can recommend to her.”

Marks eyes light up as he hears that. “That’s such a good idea. Thank you Jaemin.”

“No problem. If there is anything else I can help you with just tell me.”

“Well, actually, there is one thing.” Mark looks at Jaemin, unsure if he should ask or not. “There is this little get together tonight. It’s nothing big, just a few students from our debate club getting together, eating and talking. And Cherry will be there too. At first, I didn’t want to go, but maybe that could be a great opportunity for me to talk to her.” Jaemin nods, finding the idea good. “But I really don’t want to go alone, because I know the minute I see Cherry my brain will shut off and I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. Would you maybe come with me? It would mean a lot to me, because then there would be someone there to calm my nerves and maybe give me some positive affirmations every now and then.”

All Jaemin can do is look at Mark with uncertainty. Him? Going to a gathering with people he doesn’t know. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea. Jaemin is already awkward when it comes to new people but being in this world for the first time, not really knowing how teenagers his age actually act like, makes him scared. Intimidated even.

“Y/N is going to be there too.”, Mark adds on.

“What?”, Jaemin asks, having not listened to what Mark was saying.

“Y/N is going to be there. She is also in the debate team. I thought you were friends, so I just wanted to let you know. You wouldn’t be alone because she is there to keep you company.”

At the mention of your name Jaemin flushes. You would be there too and Jaemin will be able to spend a whole evening with you? How can he say no to that? So, he clears his throat, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks before muttering a small ‘sure’.

“Great! Jaemin you’re the best, man.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jaemin sits on Marks bed, waiting for him to return from the bathroom. He considered telling you that he will also go to the gathering today, but he has no phone to text you and unfortunately, he didn’t see you in school anymore. He tried to pick clothes out to look somewhat nice as well, wanting to make a good impression. But for who? You? No, surely not. Why would he want to make a good impression for you?

“What do you think? Is it too much?”, Mark asks after getting out of the bathroom wearing a new outfit.

“No, you look good, Mark. She will like it.” Mark lets out a relieved breath. Jaemin can practically feel the nervousness radiating from the poor boy. “Don’t worry too much. She will like you, Mark. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.”

“No that’s exactly what I’m worried about, being myself. What if she doesn’t like who I am?”

“Then she’s not worth it. Mark, you deserve someone who likes you the way you are and if she doesn’t than she isn’t the right person for you. It sounds harsh and it will probably hurt at first, but better let the person go before you go on and live a life where you have to be someone you’re not.”

Mark nods, letting the words sink in. “Wow, that was so deep man. Thank you.” He walks towards his mirror, checking his hair one last time. “I wrote a song about her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s not much and probably super cringey, but I put all my feelings into it.” Mark almost looks shy as he’s admitting that. It’s adorable seeing someone so in love.

“Why don’t you show it to her?”, Jaemin asks, watching as Mark mulls over the idea.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think she would get scared off and it would put way too much pressure on her to like me back.”

“I get that, but it could also be a good way of keeping the conversation go, since you said she likes music.”

“I will think about it.”, Mark says, grabbing his phone and headphones, before turning back to Jaemin. “Ready to go?”

20 minutes into the gathering and Jaemin already knows this is not his world. There are way too many people, it’s way too loud and he got stepped on the toes at least five times already. Mark is still by his side, having spot Cherry already, but waiting for a good timing before approaching. “She is still talking to her friends. I can’t go there while they are still there.”

“Why not? I don’t think you will get her completely alone tonight, since you said she is more of an introverted person. She will most likely stay in her comfort zone which in this case is her friends.”

“Dude how the heck are you so good at this?”, Mark asks, shaking his head in disbelief. Jaemin just shrugs, looking around mindlessly. Well, maybe not so mindlessly. Maybe ever since he put foot into the building, he has been looking for you. But just maybe.

“Okay, now or never. I will just talk to her. I can do this.”, Jaemin can practically hear the boys heart beat out of his chest.

“Of course, you can do this, Mark. You’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. Go get the girl.” With one last reassuring look from Jaemin, Mark makes his way over to Cherry, leaving Jaemin by himself.

Jaemin keeps an eye out, watching how Mark nervously talks to his crush, but he can’t watch the interaction for so long, because he hears a familiar voice.

“I knew I didn’t imagine hearing your voice.” You stand in front of him, pulling him into a quick hug. Jaemin thinks he unlearned how to breath properly. You look gorgeous, absolutely stunning. You styled your hair and you changed out of your school uniform into a pretty dress. Everything about you screams beauty and it makes Jaemin’s heartbeat faster. But why? He shouldn’t be feeling this way about you. “What are you doing here?”, you ask after breaking the hug and looking up at him with a small smile.

Jaemin points into Marks direction. “I’m helping Mark out with Cherry. So, I’m practically just here as moral support and a confidence booster.” You chuckle a bit, amused by the way Mark nervously gulps as he made Cherry laugh at whatever he just said.

“That’s very sweet of you, Jaemin.” Jaemin just shrugs, giving the illusion that it’s not much. But on the inside, he is dying. Everything he said earlier to Mark was just to be nice. Of course, he meant the words, but deep down he hopes that all of Marks worries won’t come true. It’s the only chance Jaemin has right now. There isn’t much time left until he has to go back to his father. If the plan with Mark fails, there won’t be any other plan left and Jaemin will pretty much be doomed. And he can’t be. He won’t be because Mark got this.

“Do you want to go outside for a bit? It’s super loud and I think I need some fresh air.” Jaemin nods at your request and together you go through the front door to take a seat at the patio. It’s probably for the best anyway. If Jaemin stayed inside and kept on watching over Mark, he would drive himself and also Mark insane.

“I hate stuff like this.”, you say, while looking up at the starry night sky.

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s not really my scene. The loudness, the amount of people and small talk. I hate having to talk to people I barely know about stuff that no one cares about. Maybe I’m just too socially awkward for it.” Jaemin nods, understanding this feeling. He has to go through the same thing too, at every gathering he has ever been at with his father. The gods are known for throwing the biggest parties that always ends up with the guests having had too much wine and something getting broken, creating a huge chaos. He would rather stay at home in his library, reading more human books and sinking into a world where he doesn’t have to face the weight the Gods puts on him.

“Me too.”, he says after a while, following your gaze up into the sky. “My father used to bring me to these parties with all his… coworkers. And I never felt like I belong there.” You turn to him with a small twinkle in your eyes.

“That’s the first time you ever mentioned anything about your family.”, you state, smiling at the way Jaemin is slowly opening more up to you.

“Is it really?”, he asks. He knows he successfully avoided the theme since the last thing he wants to do is lie to you. And well, he can’t really tell you he is the son of the god of love and was sent down to earth to pass a test. That would just make him sound crazy.

“Yeah, not even when we had our long phone call. While I poured out my whole family story, you never once mentioned yours. Tell me more about them and your life before you came here.”

Jaemin takes a minute to think. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he can’t not tell you something when you sit there, looking at him with wide eyes and an expecting smile. His gaze goes back to the sky as he tries to come up with something to tell you.

“My father and I always had a complicated relationship. He loves me and I know he does, but he is way too busy with work to show it to me. He is an important man and while I know his work means a lot to a huge amount of people, I sometimes wish things were different. I’m close to my teacher though. She is a huge part of my life. She taught me most of the things I know and while she’s still my teacher and had to be strict with me, she was always someone I could turn to when I had problems.”, he takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts before continuing. “When I was five years old, I walked into my dad’s office at night. He was working on a big project and couldn’t bring me to bed that night. I watched him concentrate on the papers for a few minutes until he noticed my presence. I told him I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep, but that was a lie. I just missed him and wanted his attention. I think he knew, because the next moment he stood up, turned the lights off in his office and brought me back to bed. Back then I didn’t know how huge that gesture was, but now that I’m older I see how much love he subtlety showed me. Now I look for those signs in everything he does. I realized through that, that it’s not the grand gestures that count all the time, but rather the small things a person shows you over the day.”

You hang onto every word he says, clearly mesmerized by his voice. “Wow. I take it all back. That was worth thinking that you probably hate me and don’t want to be close to me.”

“You thought I hate you?”, he asks, shock lacing his voice.

“Yeah, you are so distant towards me. You don’t tell me anything about your life and while I appreciate the mysterious aura you carry, I would like it at more if you actually tell me something about you instead of me having to guess everything.”

“Oh no, Y/N.”, Jaemin exclaims, taking one of your hands in his. “I don’t hate you, quiet opposite to be exact. I could never hate you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way and I promise I will open up to you more.”

You smile at him, enjoying the way his hand feels holding yours. “It’s okay, Jaemin. I also don’t hate you. I think you are so sweet and caring, really. You are one of the most kindhearted people I have ever met.” Jaemin feels his heart begining to beat fast again. Is he dreaming or is this really happening? You take his other hand in yours as well, scooting over so that you sit closer to him. “I want to tell you something Jaemin. And I want to do it now before I back out like the coward I am. I think I really li-“, but before you can finish your sentence, the door opens and someone storms out of the house.

“Fuck this.”, the person yells in a frustrated voice. Wait. Is that Mark?

“Mark?”, Jaemin asks, watching the figure walk away. “Sorry, Y/N. I will be back in a minute. I just have to check up on Mark.”

“No problem, Jaemin.” He gives you one last look, before letting go of your hands and running after the person.

“Mark? Hey, wait. What’s wrong?”, he asks, finally having caught up to the said person.

“Everything’s wrong. God, how can I be so stupid? And to think I wanted to show her my song.”

“What? What happened?”, Jaemin asks with a panicked voice.

“She rejected me. Saying something about not wanting a relationship and that I’m not really her type. I don’t know man.”, Mark frustratedly runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks for trying, Jaemin. I really appreciate your help, but that’s it.”

“What? No, you can still-“

“No, Jaemin. I can’t and it’s fine. Again, thank you, but I just want to go home now.” With that Mark turns around, walking along the sidewalk and leaving Jaemin by himself yet again.

“Jaemin?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. He can’t do anything but look at the ground. Was that really it? Did all this work over the years get destroyed in just a few minutes? Jaemin just shakes his head, taking your hand of his shoulder and making his way home. He ignores your calls for him, the same way he ignores the feeling of his breaking heart. How is he going to fix this all?

Day 4

He feels bad. Not only did he leave you standing alone on the street at night, but he also dodged all your phone calls. He just couldn’t talk to you, to anyone, really.

Jaemin stayed up all night figuring out what to do, making new plans and trying to find a way, a solution, to fix everything. And he came up with nothing. Nada.

Now he stands in the cafeteria, watching you talk to Jeno and Haechan. He can’t face you, fearing that he hurt you too much with his actions. So, he just stays there, watching how Haechan wraps an arm around you and plants a kiss on your cheek. What if…? No, definitely not. He can’t possibly do that. But the longer he stands that, observing everything, he can see all the patterns. The way Haechan looks at you whenever you speak, even when you weren’t even speaking. It’s the same way he saw Mark look at Cherry, the same way he read about in all those books. Haechan and you are in love. Definitely. It’s obvious. But why does that thought make his heart feel weird?

Jaemin is too lost in his inner conflict, that he doesn’t even notice you approaching him. “Jaemin?”, you softly call out his name. He blinks a few a times, seeming like he just got back to this world, before looking at you.

“Are you okay?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine.”, he stammers out. “And you? Are you okay?”

You nod. “I am now that you are here. I was really worried about you after you just ditched me and then ignored my calls. I thought something happened or that I said something to scare you away. I couldn’t sleep all night.”

“No!”, he says almost too loud. “You didn’t do anything. Really. It’s just that something came up and I had to leave. I’m sorry, I should have just told you.”

“It’s okay.”, you reassure him. “As long as you’re okay now.”

“You’re not mad at me?”, he asks, looking at you with guilt shimmering in his eyes.

“No, I could never be mad at you.” A weird spark of electricity shoots through Jaemins body, but all he can do is ignore it. Haechan, all he has to do is think about Haechan and how he is most likely in love with you.

“Jeno and I have to go talk to Ms Kim real quick. Is it okay for you to keep Haechan company? He said something about dying out of boredom without us.”, you chuckle a little after the last sentence and Jaemin sees the fondness in your eyes. His heart breaks a little.

“Uh, yeah sure. I can keep him company.”

“Great. It’s not going to take long. Just 10 minutes.”

It’s awkward when Jaemin sits down at the table. Maybe he just makes it awkward, but he can’t seem to face Haechan and it seems like Haechan can’t face him either. They sit together, not talking, just sitting in silence.

“Do you like Y/N?”, Jaemin asks out of nowhere.

“What? Why are you asking?”

Jaemin just shrugs, not sure why he really asked. Maybe he is just so desperate to pass his test that he wants to find people in love. Or maybe it’s for a completely different reason. Does he even want to help the two of you get into a relationship? Why is he even behaving that way? He has two more days before he has to go back and after those two days he won’t see any of you anymore. Well, that’s just partly true. He will still see you, but he won’t be able to communicate with you anymore. So, he shouldn’t care. He should just get the two of you together, pass the test and make everyone proud. He should definitely not sit here, hoping that Haechan is not interested in you.

“I mean, Y/N is great. She is one of the most kindhearted people I’ve ever met.” Fuck, that’s not what Jaemin wanted to hear. It’s true what Haechan says, but it just sounds like someone talking about his crush.

“Why did you never ask her out? I mean you’ve been friends for a long time now and Valentine’s Day is tomorrow so it would be the perfect time to ask her on a date.”

“Ask her out? I don’t know what-“, but before Haechan can continue, you and Jeno return back to the table.

“I swear, Ms Kim is always sick on the most inconvenient days.”, you mutter in frustration. “Anyway, what have the two of you been talking about.”

“Jaemin just asked me why I never asked you out on a date.”

“A date?”, you ask as you look between Jaemin and Haechan, confusion lingering in your voice and Jaemin can maybe see a bit of disappointment in your eyes. But he probably just imagined that. “With Haechan? Never. Don’t get me wrong, but Haechan is like a brother to me.”

“Ouch, you here that guys? I’m in the bro zone.” Haechan puts his hand on his chest, making a hurt expression. “You’re breaking my heart, Y/N.”

“Get over yourself.”, you say, slapping Haechans arm playfully while grinning like an idiot.

Oh, the two of you are so in love.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

„Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.“ , Jaemin states as the two of you walk out of school.

“I know. It’s all over school.”

“Do you have a date?”, he asks, making you stop walking for a second. Is he trying to ask you on? Is that why he asked Haechan why her never asked you out?

“No, I don’t. Why are you asking?”

“Well, I thought that maybe Haechan asked you.”

“Haechan?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Why would Haechan ask me to be his Valentine?”

Jaemin scoffs, maybe letting some pent of anger out. “Because you two like each other.”

“Like each other? What are you talking about? Have you gone completely mad?” Your voice raises not believing the words of Jaemin.

“Come on. It’s so obvious. You like each other. Everyone with eyes can see the attraction you two have for each other.” Jaemin can’t believe his own words. Why would he say stuff like that so openly and why does it completely wrench his heart to do so?

“Well obviously your eyes are not working. Haechan and I are just friends, and it will stay that way. If we liked each other, we would have confessed by now, believe me.”, you spit out, your voice far from being the nice and carefree you that Jaemin is used to. “And why do you care anyway? You just come here acting like we are at a freaking dating show. First Mark and Cherry and now that that didn’t work out you obsess over the next people you met. Well, let me tell you something Jaemin, that’s not how it works. That’s not how life works. You can’t force love onto anyone and everyone. God damn it, you act like your life depends on matching up people.”

“It does.”, he mumbles, looking down at his shoes.

“What?”

“Nothing.”, he just says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you upset. I was just trying to help.”, he says, running a hand through his hair. “I will just go home. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

He turns around, heading towards his home. Tomorrow he will go home and tomorrow he will have to face the disappointment he has caused. He will have to life with that for the rest of eternity. What will he do? Will he not have a job? What will his dad have to endure when the gods talk about how much of a disgrace his son is?

“Jaemin.”, a voice calls out for him. “Wait up.” You catch up with him, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “I’m sorry. I was… what I said was too harsh. I just got so mad, because I thought you will ask me to be your Valentine and then you said all those things about Haechan and I just thought ‘Why is he so oblivious? Doesn’t he realize I want to go out with him?’.”, you ramble, trying to explain the whole situation. All Jaemin can do is stare at you with wide eyes.

“You like me?”, he asks, his voice breaking.

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious? Well, apparently it isn’t since you didn’t get it. I have been trying to flirt with you, send you signs, you know.”

“I thought you were just being nice.”

“Oh god no. Believe me Jaemin I almost peed my pants every time I said something witty to you. I was definitely flirting.”

His brain stops working. You like him? But how? He hasn’t done anything special to make him likable. Oh no, you like him. You actually do and he has to go tomorrow. He has to go, and he doesn’t even get the chance to take you out.

But what’s worse is the tingly feeling Jaemin got at your confession. The way his heart fluttered, his hands got sweaty, and a smile of pure happiness graced his lips. He knows that feeling. He has studied it for all his life. Jaemin likes you. Jaemin has done the only thing he wasn’t allowed to do.  

But now it makes sense why he gets so nervous around you, why he blushes when you compliment him and why he can’t stop thinking about you anywhere he goes. He broke his father’s rule. Not only did he fail his test, but he also broke the only rule his father has given him. He fell in love with you. Damn you and your rambling and your cute smile and your funny jokes.

“Jaemin? Is everything okay? You look pale.”, you hold his arm as he starts to tumble a bit. “Hey, take it easy.” You walk him over to a bench to sit him down and take out your water bottle so he can take a sip.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I can’t.”, he whispers, not trusting his voice right now.

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t like you back. I just can’t.” A tear runs down his face, not wanting to accept his fate. He is so close to the life he always wanted. He goes to school, found friends, and even found some that likes him. But he can’t have it. What a bittersweet tragedy.

No words leave your mouth. What is there to say?

“It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me I do. But I can’t. I have to go tomorrow and after that we will never see each other again. Well, I will see you, but you won’t see me. And I don’t want to give you any false hope that might make you hold onto me. You shouldn’t, you can’t. We wouldn’t have a happy ending.” You let him get the words out, before grabbing his hand and making him look at you. The sight of him ruins you. His cheeks glister with tears, his eyes red and his lips quivering.

“Jaemin, please tell me what is going on. Why do you have to leave tomorrow and why can you see me, but I won’t see you? Please tell me the truth, I know something isn’t right.”

More tears stream down his face, but there is no hesitation when he tells you the truth. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m not human like you are. I’m the son of Armor. He sent me down here to do a test in which I have to set up two humans until Valentine’s Day without any power and just with the knowledge I gathered from the years of training. It should prove that I’m worthy of taking his job as the god of love, but I failed. I failed him and all the other gods.”

For a second, you want to laugh right at his face and tell him he is delusional, but then you see the waterfall of tears rolling down his face and you stop yourself. Maybe that’s why everyone says he looks like a god, because he is one, well at least has one as his father. That’s why he has such a strong presence whenever he enters the room. And that’s why he wanted to set up Mark and Cherry and you and Haechan so desperately. It all makes sense now.

“That’s why you thought Haechan and I are in love? You needed to set someone up before you go back tomorrow.” He nods, wiping the tears on his face.

“I needed to. It was my only chance of passing the test.” You nod, grabbing his hand and standing up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing you home.”

“Why?”

“Because we only have a few more hours left, and I would like to spend them with you.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Upon arriving in Jaemin’s apartment you are taken back for a few seconds. You know he has to leave tomorrow, but you didn’t expect his apartment to be so… empty. There was nothing but a small kitchen and a mattress on the floor.

“Sorry. It’s not much. We knew I was just staying for 5 days.” Jaemin throws his backpack and jacket in the corner of the room, before flopping down on the mattress.

“Are you hungry? I can order us something. I know a really good pizzeria that makes pizza that is to die for.” You try to lighten the mood a bit, but Jaemin is too kept up by his own mind to notice. He just hums in approval, staring up at his ceiling.

You give the pizzaria a quick call, before walking over to where Jaemin is laying.

“Scoot over.” He does as you say, making some space for you to lay down beside him.

“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”

Jaemin sighs, turning on his side to face you. “I wish you didn’t tell me that you liked me.” You’re taken back by the sudden boldness of his words. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to hear that you like me back, but it’s making it so much harder for me to leave.”

You nod at his words, reaching over to put your hand on his cheek. “I know and I’m sorry for his whole messed up situation, but isn’t it better knowing I feel the same thing, than never knowing that we had a chance in the first place?”

“I guess so.”, he says, looking back up at the ceiling. You sense that he needs time to sort out the mess in his head, so you keep quiet.

When the pizza arrives, you two eat in silence, both not knowing what to say and how to handle the situation.

You lay down again, but this time you pull him towards you so that his head rests on your chest. He closes his eyes, listening to your heartbeat. Jaemin wraps his arms around you, basking in your warmth and enjoying the first and probably last time he gets to hold you this close.

“If I could have it my way, I would ask you to be my Valentine for tomorrow by showing up at your house in a nice suit and flowers in my hand. Then I would give you the best Valentine you would ever have with cute self written love letters and compliments that I would shower you with over the day. But that won’t stop. Every day that I see you I tell you how much I appreciate having you in my life, how graced I am to call you mine. At least one day of every week I would plan a date for us to go on. Our relationship would bloom, and we would be that type of couple everyone’s jealous of. We graduate and start a life together. We have our ups and downs, but no matter what we always come back to each other. We would grow old and wrinkly together, sitting at the patio in our rocking chairs, watching our grandchildren play in the garden.”

A lonely tear rolls down your face, but you wipe it before Jaemin notices it. “God, that’s so cheesy. But I love it Jaemin.”

Jaemin sniffles a little, trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to leave again. “I can’t imagine that with anyone but you.”

He hugs you even tighter, feeling the exhaustion of the day catching up to him. He tugs his head into your neck, inhaling your calming scent as he closes his eyes.

“Maybe in another universe.”, you whisper, stroking his back. “Maybe in another universe we can be together.”

You leave a kiss on his forehead as you feel his body giving in to sleep. But you don’t sleep. You stay awake, holding Jaemin tight and thinking of any possible way of making Jaemins’ dream come true.

Day 5

Jaemin opens his eyes as the light shines through his window. He feels his head throb and his eyes burning.

“You’re finally awake.”, you say as kneel down in front of his mattress.

“What are you doing here?” You chuckle a little as you hear his sleepy voice and watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“I stayed the night, don’t you remember? I couldn’t possibly leave you alone like this.” You pass him the bowl, taking a seat beside him. “And I stayed to say that you might want to check your voice mail.”

“My voice mail?”, he asks, standing up and grabbing his house phone. He presses a few buttons before a voice starts playing.

“Hey man.”, he instantly recognizes this voice. “I asked Haechan were you are and he told me that you and Y/N called in sick today, which is weird since it’s Valentine’s Day and I bet you would have received a ton of flowers, but that’s not my point. I wanted to apologies and thank you. Turns out Cherry thought I was trying to play her and get her into bed. She didn’t take my confession serious the other day. So, she came up to me today and asked me to be her Valentine. I don’t know what happened, but I’m not going to complain. Thanks for believing in me, man. I will see you tomorrow and get well soon.”

The voice mail ends after that, but Jaemin can’t stop listening. He repeats it over and over again until you take the phone away from him.

“Did that really happen?”, he asks, thinking he is still dreaming.

“Yes, Jaemin. You did it. You passed your test.” Tears forming in his eyes, but for some reason, Jaemin doesn’t feel happy or relieved. Somehow, he feels sad.

“What’s wrong?”, you ask, rushing over to grab his hands. “Why aren’t you jumping up and down with happiness?”

“Because I have to leave.”, his voice wavering a little. “I have to leave you.” Upon those words leaving his lips, you feel your heart break into a million pieces. You spend the whole night thinking about this, about him leaving. It is weird to say this, but it feels like you were hit by an arrow of Amor yourself. You shouldn’t be feeling such strong emotions towards a boy you only know since the beginning of the week.

“It’s okay.”, you whisper after pulling him in for a hug. He clings himself onto you, tugging his head into your neck as he lets out a sob. You have to hold back yourself from breaking down as well. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard at first, but eventually we will move on, and it will hurt less.”

“But I don’t want to move on.”, he says through his sobs. “I want you.”

“I want you too, Jaemin.”, you break the hug, taking his face in your hands and looking him into his eyes.

“I will always want you.”, you whisper before gently placing your lips on his forehead.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Goodbye. A saying when you part ways with someone and officially Jaemins least favorite word.

Saying goodbye to you was probably the hardest thing Jaemin had to do, but there was no way around it. After you hugged him, again and again, until all the tears were shed, an angel picked him up to bring him back to his home.

Home. He doesn’t even want to call it that anymore. It currently doesn’t feel like he belongs there.

“Your father is awaiting you in his office.”, Jaemin nods at the angels’ words. “And congratulations on passing your test. We are all proud of you.” He should feel some sense of pride at those words, but he doesn’t.

Jaemin knocks on the door before he enters the big room. Nothing has changed in the five days that he was gone, except for him. He changed.

“Jaemin.”, Cupid speaks, making his way over to his son. “You passed your test. Congratulations. I knew you would do it.”

Jaemin watches as his father walks around his office. “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you these past days.” Cupid points to one of the chairs in his office, signaling for Jaemin to sit down. “I told you, you are not allowed to fall in love. And yet you did. You broke the only rule that I gave you.”

Silence fills up the room for a few seconds, as Armor thinks about his next words.

“Tell me about her.”

“What?”, Jaemin stutters, clearly not expecting to hear that.

“Tell me about her. I want to know why you broke the only rule I gave you and risked yourself being banned from here.”

Jaemin takes a deep breath, knowing that his next words are going to have to carry a lot of meaning.

“Her name is Y/N. She is a human, as you probably know. She goes to the school you sent me to and-“

“No, Jaemin. Don’t tell me the basic facts about her. I already know so much. Tell me what made you fall in love with her.”

“Oh wow, where to start?”, Jaemin wipes his hands on his jeans, trying to ease some of the tension in his body. “Well, she is kind. I think that that’s the first thing I noticed about her. The way she talks to people and helps them no matter what. She is so selfless. Always looking out for others and putting her own worries aside. She rambles a lot and I think that’s the most adorable thing ever. Sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and talks for minutes about the most random stuff to ever be heard. Oh, and the way she loves. I’ve never seen someone love so much and so unconditional. She has such a big heart and I love that. I love her. I love her so much.”

A small smile forms on his fathers face and Jaemin swears it’s been too long since he’s seen his father smile.

“You know I have to give you a punishment for your actions.”

Jaemin sighs, knowing that whatever follows will probably not be good. “Yeah, whatever it is, I will take it.”

His father walks back to his desk, taking a seat. “You know the Gods weren’t exactly happy to see you fall in love with a mortal. They’ve been quiet upset and I talked to them. Together we found a punishment that would make up for it.” Jaemin lowers his head, watching his hands nervously fidgeting.

“We decided to send you down to earth. Permanently. Of course you are allowed to visit every now and then, but your home won’t be here anymore. You will be mortal just like the other humans on earth.”

At his fathers’ words, Jaemin’s head shoots up. “What?”

“You heard me.”, his father says, his wings twitching a little. “You can pack your things and leave whenever you are ready.”

“But what about the job? I thought I was supposed to take over.”

“I think I can manage this job for a few eternities more.”

Jaemin just sits there, not knowing what to say or what to think.

“Dad, I don’t know what to say. How can I ever thank you for that.”

“Thank me?”, his dad asks. “Don’t thank me. It’s a punishment after all.” He sends his son a wink, before grabbing a pile of paper on his desk. “What are you waiting for? You should pack, before I change my mind.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You never felt pain like this. Ever since Jaemin left, you have been curled up in your bed, crying your eyes out and ignoring all the calls from Haechan and Jeno.

You know they just care about you, but you don’t feel like talking to anyone. You just want Jaemin and no one else.

“Y/N?”, your mom asks as she knocks on your door. “Y/N sweety, there is someone at the door for you.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Can you send them away please?”

But your mom doesn’t leave. “I really think you should talk to him. He seems kind of nervous, and he has flowers.”

Him? Flowers? Does Haechan really think flowers would make you feel better? With a groan you stand up, opening your door and ignoring the worried look on your moms face as you make your way downstairs.

“Haechan, you know I love you, but I really don’t feel like having company right now and I would love if you could leave so I can wither in self-pity.” You keep your eyes on the ground as you open the door, not wanting to reveal the tears on your face.

“That’s unfortunate, I would have loved to take you out on a date.” That’s not Haechan’s voice and those are definitely not Haechan’s shoes you are looking at.

In an instant you look up and can’t believe when you see Jaemin standing there. He is dressed in a black suit, his hair neatly combed back and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Jaemin?”, you ask, not believing your eyes.

“Yep, that’s my name.”

Tears fill your eyes as you look him at him, taking in his soft features. It feels like you haven’t seen him in months, while in reality it’s just been a few hours. “It’s really you?” He nods, having tears in his eyes as well. “But how?”

“I will explain it all to you later. But before that I want to take you out on the best date you will ever have.”

You take a few seconds, trying to control your feelings, but failing miserably and just letting your tears stream down your face.

“Oh, fuck it.”, you say, before leaping into his arms and pressing your lips on his. You hear him sighing into the kiss, letting go of the flowers and wrapping both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you as close as possible as he lets his lips speak all the words he could never put into a sentence.

In that moment you decide that kissing him is the second best feeling you ever get to have.

The best feeling of all is loving him.

And that you will until the end of time. In this universe and in every other one as well.

Bonus scene

The cafeteria table is filled with laughter. Jaemin can’t help but to admire the little friend group he made. Haechan and Jeno bickering over an unknown reason, Mark feeding a piece of an apple to Cherry and you, tucked under his arm, laughing at your friends.

“I swear,”, Mark starts to say. “I’m so glad everything turned out the way it did.”

“Why so sentimental all of the sudden?”, Haechan asks, eyeing his friend with a suspicious look on his face.

“I don’t know. I’m just happy.”, Mark shrugs, taking one of Cherry’s hands in his.

“Me too.”, Jaemin speaks up, catching the attention of his friends. “I’m also happy with the way things turned out for us.”

You poke his side, laughing softly at the way he flinches together. “Is my baby getting emotional?” A gagging sound can be heard from the other side of the table.

“You guys are gross.”, Jeno says, making Haechan nod in agreement.

You just roll your eyes, throwing french fries at their heads. “You’re just jealous that your discord kittens are actually 56 year old men.”

The two boys start to complain, but no one listens to the excuses they try to come up with.

“No, but seriously.”, Mark starts again. “If you hadn’t sent Cherry my song, we would never sit here.”

Jaemin eyes Mark with confusion written all over his face. “Song? I didn’t-“ But before Jaemin can finish his sentence, you elbow him into the side, making him groan in pain.

“Yeah, right? That was so clever and kind of Jaemin. I’m really glad the two of you ended up together. You make a great couple.”, you tell Mark and Cherry, making both of them show you a sweet grin in return.

Jaemin looks at down at you with his eyebrows frowned, but you just give him a warm smile and lay your head on his shoulder.

And that’s when he realizes that it was you all along. You sent Mark’s song to Cherry and you were the reason Jaemin passed his test and Mark and Cherry fell in love. It was you that made it possible for all of you sitting at this table together.

All Jaemin can do is pull you closer to him and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. He will talk to you later and express the gratitude he has for the things you’ve done. But for now Jaemin enjoys the moment of quietness that he has with the love of his life in his arms and his friends around him.

This is the life Jaemin always dreamed of having and now his dream finally came true.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I have some questions abt hellenic polytheism and how its practiced. I myself have been practicing it for a while, but something I noticed while researching about it is a distinct lack of actual greek people in online social media spaces. It was first brought to my attention after seeing a reddit post and youtube video explaining how using “hellenismos” is considered cultural appropriation. After that, Ive noticed how the main sources Ive used about hellenic polytheism isnt really from the people whos culture were trying to practice. AKA non greeks.

I would like to know your explanations on the basics of hellenic polytheism like altars/shrines, khernips, prayers, devotees, tarot/oracle cards, pendulums, kharis, and offerings. There might be some knowledge that I got wrong and need to change, like maybe the way I give offerings needs fixing and I need to give more perishable offerings like food than handmade crafts like art for apollo. And maybe theres a spicic way to do it and not just place it on the altar. Other than websites like hellenicfaith.com, r/hellenism is usually my main source with a grain of salt because of the strange lack of greeks in discussions, and although my friend who is also practicing hellenic polytheism gives me a lot of advice, their main sources are tiktok and. Well, I dont think I need to explain why thats a bad source. (Their main justification is “of course tiktok isnt that serious” and “it comes from the pagans themselves”)

Also, Im also curious on your thoughts about people who practice in secret.

I hope this isnt too long, I just wanna make sure Im using a better source than reddit because, well, its reddit. Not the most reliable source.

Hello! If you don't mind I will also address two more questions I got on the matter, since I feel they are related to yours. They are the following:

Hello all! You did very well to seek Greek sources because you are essentially dealing with a foreign culture and it's not right to assume it looks just like your local one. I will guide you as much as I can but I am very open to being corrected by knowledgeable Greeks and xenoi alike because I am not an infallible scholar. As always, my posts are open to additions in case I missed something.

Let me start by saying I believe it's important to focus on the living Greeks as well, in parallel to your studies of ancient religious texts. Not only were our ancient people diverse with various opinions but... they are also dead and cannot speak anymore. So, it's the alive Greeks who now handle and pass down the culture. If something gives the ick to modern Greeks, it probably goes against what the culture considers appropriate or strange.

Greeks will get "the ick" even if they are not well-read on ancient Greek customs, because the Greek culture largely holds its philosophy when it comes to worship. Disclaimer: This is not an unbroken rule, as some of our cultural elements have shifted or changed, as it happens to all cultures around the globe, and also because a Greek does not know everything. But it's good to keep that general statement in mind.

An example of a practice not seen favorably by Greeks nowadays is some Western women practitioners covering their heads because of Hellenic Polytheism. The ancient faith may demand it but the veil was forced a lot on Greek women and collectively we believe it doesn't make any sense to wear it, even in scenarios of faith tied to our culture. Now, that doesn't mean that it's any of our business if a Hellenic Polytheist wants to veil but it'd be good for this person to have knowledge of the history and rights of Greek women, and really evaluate why they want to veil beyond "the ancients did it", since Greek culture is largely disagreeable to that practice now. Find a larger discussion on veiling here.

Also please capitalize the first letter of Apollo's name because this shows proper respect ;)

Let's dive into specifics a little bit. Our culture was and is practical and anthropocentric. It takes into account reality and environment, as well as human nature.

For the anthropocentric aspect: Yes, there are general guidelines because we are talking about a tradition here but no one will take your head if you do it a bit differently. As for the practical aspect: if you give non-perishable items to the gods by putting them on their altar, in 10 years you won't have a space in your house to stand. If they are non-perishable you have no reason to remove them. Because if you remove them is like taking back offerings that were meant for the deity.

The offerings of Greeks in Polytheism and Christianity included perishable items such as food, candles/oil lamps, flowers, incense, libations, etc. And since they go bad you have a reason to remove them. But you also don't want any waste on the streets or in your house. Even the sacrificed animals were meant to be eaten, and the Greek communities believed that the smell of roasted meat made the gods rejoice. In some cases, offerings that were left outside were meant to be consumed by the homeless and travelers. Everything has a purpose and a reason within that specific community. (Flowers not so much, they are just ornamental)

It's not that you cannot or should not offer non-perishable items to the gods. I'm sure a few don't hurt anyone. Just keep in mind that if the offering is a non-perishable item it is/was usually offered to the temple, so the priests can sustain themselves and continue doing their religious service on behalf of the community. We are talking about coins, clothing, jugs, animals, or whatever else.

Continuing on the matter of offerings. A small rant on how clueless some people seem to be about offerings. It would be weird to knit a winter scarf for a god and then wear it yourself because that's not how dedication/devotion works in the Greek context. Also, leaving that winter scarf on the altar doesn't make sense either because it's just… impractical in the Greek sense. You are wasting a scarf, to put it plainly. But if you make something for one deity then give it to the deity, don't wear it yourself.

I'll tackle a few more specifics now. I think you already know what they mean so I will give my opinion on them rather than explaining them. I think my opinion is shared by many Greeks.

hellenismos -> I am not sure if it's appropriation but it's surely inaccurate. Here is why, for those who wonder, with some suggestions on how to call yourself. (hint: Hellenic Polytheist is fine)

on how to be respectful and accurate: I always recommend reading as many ancient Greek texts as possible the view of the gods directly from the ancient worshipers themselves. You can read whatever texts interest you, including plays. Plays are my favourite source, to be honest. Understand on your own what the text says. The Hymn to Demeter is focused on the pain of a mother, which is pretty obvious, you are under no obligation to hear Kate the TikToker who insists on something different. You don't have to hear YouTubers who tell you Zeus is an asshole when ancient texts show us the opposite, and give a good context on why he does what he does.

altars/shrines -> The altars I've seen are usually fine, so I think western polytheists have this down. The ancient ones would be more homogenous but in our era the religion is unorganized so it's up to the individual to create an altar. Greeks still have altars in their homes as a continuation of our polytheist practices and they also have some variation. Generally, all good here.

khernips -> χέρνιψ literally translates to "washer of hands". It's a Greek practice to have clean hands before touching any sacred objects, either in Dodekatheism or in Christianity. We do not always follow it but it's important. Our old custom is also to wash hands, face, and feet before entering our Christian temples (that's why there are κρήνες outside many of them) but that's not practiced anymore because our hygiene is overall better and we already visit the temple while clean.

The cleansing part will feel natural for most Greeks and not unfit for the whole procedure. You can also cleanse items with water if the purification ritual says so. Don't lose sleep over it. Remember practicality. Khernips is just water with which you wash your hands and you can do it before a meal, like we do today. It is meant to keep you clean but doesn't bear any spiritual force - it's not like the holy water of Christians which is imbued with divine power. It's just water included in a practice that helps the religious person get ready for spiritual time.

Also! Khernips doesn't mean that you wash the whole body! It's second part, νήβω / nivo = rub is connected to cleaning body parts. For the cleanliness of the whole body we used/use "λούω / λούζω". Fun fact, on of the greatest christian temples Hagia Sofia, had a reminder outside the gate with the same verb, and it was an anagram. "ΝΙΨΟΝ ΑΝΟΜΗΜΑΤΑ ΜΗ ΜΟΝΑΝ ΟΨΙΝ", meaning "wash your sins, too, not just your face". This anagram is found in other Christian sites, as well.

prayers -> Any prayer is good. There are only a few ways a prayer can go "wrong", since there's not a subscription for that. For example a prayer has to usually praise the magnanimity of the deity, even if you are just doing it to ask something, but words from the heart are also fine. Zeus won't smite you if you include him in a phrase without praising him first.

devotees -> Afaik this was a rare phenomenon in antiquity and it's only nowadays that Westerners decided that everyone is a devotee, which looks weird to Greeks because being a devotee doesn't work exactly like Westerners do it. You don't get to pick one god, talk 99% of the time about that god, or worship just them and not recognize the whole pantheon, or just give little attention to them.

Ancient Greek towns and people had gods they were closer to, for sure, but from what I know they didn't have the same concept as modern foreign worshipers today. They were not "αφιερωμένοι"/devoted, unless they devoted their life to a deity by serving in their temple. The devoted/devotees were not everyday people.

The everyday people felt closer to some gods in the way someone can have a saint or a prophet that they align themselves with, that they feel like they can see themselves on them, or that these gods see them, or that they are related to their struggles, or have given them some sort of protection. A cultivator of vineyards will probably feel closer to Dionysus, while a fisherman to Poseidon, and a warrior to Ares. It's the same for Christian Greeks, since each of the saints has one domain and we call on them depending on our needs.

I mean, it's okay if modern people want to make new things, but we should also be clear on the nature of the ancient practice.

tarot/oracle cards, pendulums -> They are unrelated to the practice. They are just recent elements of western spiritual fascination, and the ancient Greek religion is already complete without them. If Apollo chooses to reveal himself through tarot he may as well reveal himself on a toaster xD A toaster is as related to the ancient Greek religion as much as tarot cards.

kharis -> Some Westerners overhype foreign words that are, in reality, very simple terms. Kharis is just "the grace of god" and the concept is similar to the grace spoken in Christianity, Islam and Hinduism. Kharis is not lost if you forget to wash your hands once, or if you are afraid that the item you placed on the altar is not good enough. You don't have to tiptoe around it, it's not something incomprehensible and mystical.

miasma -> Nobody asked for it but I am delivering it anyways because I see many new people to the religion treat miasma like they are 5th-century Greeks who will be punished by the plague if they menstruate too close to the altar. I've seen endless discussions online about what miasma is and all the detailed ways that you can avoid it, and how to cleanse everything and... as a 21st-century practitioner you are not supposed to be that fearful. In the Πλυντήρια festival, the statue of Athena goddess was washed clean but also cleansed metaphorically by people's sins. And you can cleanse your statues as well of course but not with the mindset of considering yourself unclean. Do not follow every advice from ancient people who thought women unclean when menstruating. Ironically, this post and this post from r/hellenism have a good approach to this. As one user says:

people who practice in secret -> I don't have particular thoughts for them. If they must hide their spirituality for reasons beyond their control, it's natural for them to do so. I wish them the best in their spiritual journey.

Take a look at my F.A.Q. page, and more specifically on these questions:

Can I worship the Greek gods as a xenos (non-Greek)?

What do Greeks think of people outside of Greece worshiping the Greek gods?

Reading List / Book recommendations on Greek Mythology

Are the Greek gods assholes? // What’s up with gods coupling with mortal women?

Also, when it comes to the practices of the ancient Greek religion, Google Scholar is your friend. Read a variety of scholars and please include Greek ones on your reading list. Western academia focuses a lot on what the myth means to The West today, while Greek academia focuses on what the myths meant in their time. Some classical students report that studying classics in Greece VS in the US can be night and day, and they got a more authentic feeling from the knowledge they gained from the Greek classes.

For gods, festivals, and rituals in Greece, I have some recommendations below, if you’d like to take a look! (The links open directly to them so you can read them for free)

Let it rain’, or ‘rain, conceive’: Rituals of magical rain-making in Ancient Greece, a comparative approach. In Roca, Z. et al. (eds.): European Landscapes and Lifestyles: The Mediterranean and Beyond. Lisboa: Edições Universitárias Lusófonas 2007: 285-304.

Cosmos 17 (2001), 197-251 Rituals of Magical Rain-Making in Modern and Ancient Greece: A Comparative Approach by Evy Johanne Håland

http://en.arch.uoa.gr/fileadmin/arch.uoa.gr/uploads/images/evy_johanne_haland/cosmos_17-2_haland.pdf

p.s., I call Christian temples "temples" because that's how we call them. We use ναός very frequently for our religious buildings.

I hope I covered your questions so far 💙😊 See you around, and have a great day!

✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺✨🌺

If my posts have helped you in any way, consider buying me a coffee or giving a Paypal donation. I spend many hours per day on questions and posts, so that would support me a little.

[yermes]

PAC: ✂️

Why you should cut them off.

Sometimes in life you think you met your platonic soul make when you actually met someone who just leeches off your energy. Let grow and grow out of friendships that do not pull their weight.

Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

Socials: TipJar | Insta

Pick a meme

The cards

Pile 1

Tower + Letter 💌 🏰 

Is this a friendship or is this a relationship of convenience? And is it still serving a purpose to you? It seems its only ever about work or official business. It doesn’t have the emotional depth that you need or that they need.

Pile 2

Fox + Clouds ☁️ 🦊 

You seem to do everything for this person but when it comes to them they always have a reason not to cone through. They will show up if you are the one buying the coffee but when its time for them to cover they are no where to be found. True friendships mean you’re always paying back that $20 with the next coffee stop.

Pile 3

Women + Ship 🚢 👠 

Your friends are keeping you in a gridlock. They may be an online friend who has no sense of time and your schedule and makes it so you essentially never have a break. You also and just stuck in this tragic limbo where you may also be feeling bad for them? But if they are taking advantage of you you must let them go.

Extras: 🍳🥓

Story/vent:

I start at my new job tomorrow! Gotta put food on my table for my adorable step kids (my friends and followers)

[homestuckreplay]

miscellaneous thoughts!

No update today :( but I have some miscellaneous thoughts bouncing around in my head, so here they are.

I rewatched the end of act 1 flash animation (p.246) and was hit for the first time with how terrifying this must be for John. I think on first watch I was scared from an external perspective (is he gonna be ok?) but wasn't in his head. This time I was in his head. John's life isn't good or happy right now but there's no indication that he's suffered violent or sudden trauma before. This is probably the single scariest event that's happened to John. His whole life was destroyed in less than five minutes. When I look at this with analytical brain it's so easy to forget that but... no wonder he hesitated. No wonder he was paralyzed with fear for a few seconds before taking that bite. It's such a trial by fire and so much responsibility to just throw at somebody who's been pretty sheltered and not at all prepared for this by their upbringing. I want to highlight this because I want to keep it in mind to understand his character going forward.

Back with the recent Rose update. I think the plastic letters on Rose's fridge are the secret to her modus. The command 'Captchalogue W' for an alphabetical modus really hit me, and the way everything auto-balanced could definitely be utilized, potentially even weaponized, by simply grabbing the right letters to push the necessary card to the root. This would be perfect for someone as wordy as she is, and it's a fun contrast to Dave - her alphabetical modus vs his numerical one.

'But it's hard to resist getting a little silly sometimes. Especially when you are absolutely positive no one is watching.'

With Rose's writing journals (p.220) she seemed to have some awareness of the Homestuck player watching her. Now that's gone, with no difference in command style, and I'm kind of mystified. Is it an occasional prickle at the back of her head that happens randomly? Is she more ashamed of her creative writing than of her silly behavior, and will we understand why if we ever get to peek in those journals? Is this location based - Rose is aware of being watched in her room but by leaving it, the threat of her mom looms so large in her mind that she forgets about the player?

Finally, something more serious. There have been a few instances of the r-slur in this comic already. Everyone gets one - John (p.154), Rose (p.249), Dave (p.333) and the narrator (p.387). I think this is realistic dialog for all these characters (but fwiw I do not think GG would say it). I also think that just because something is realistic doesn't make it ok to uncritically write. Anyone could be reading this who has had this word used against them, and could get hurt again by its being casually tossed around by characters who otherwise mean something to them.

Homestuck is a fairly popular webcomic, and making something on the internet - especially as a full time job - is kind of a legacy. People could read this thing 10 or 50 or 100 years in the future, and using language that, while normalized, is known to be offensive, could keep it in the lexicon and continue to normalize it in future. Maybe this is harsh. But it's everyone's responsibility to be a little kinder in how we talk about vulnerable people. And this is an example of somebody not doing that for the sake of teh jokez. I'm not gonna laugh at that or let it slide without saying something.