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plasticsandwich · 1 year

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stuck on the floor staring at the moon

#thinkjng a lot aby things #diary #these past like. 2-3 months have been insane for me #well. things are always a little insane #as they should be #im happy to have some nice friends now #or at least people i can easily consider my friends without having to think if they feel the same way #ive gotten better at doing things too. like in general #i wish i could repay everyones kindness with a giant heart delivered to everyone #and stuff. idk.#i feel i say these things a lot but never enough #never ever ever enough. maybe im happy to be here #or scared. or both. but im here now #i guess ill be staying too #i probably just need to sleep smns

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protectorcraft · 2 months

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thinkin about isat again (big surprise) and it would be a wonder if someone in the gang doesnt develop separation anxiety postgame. like other than siffrin considering that's the entire premise of the games plot, i mean.

#isat spoilers #isat #i bets would be on bonnie.#theyre like. 10.#they've nearly lost this specific person twice. and they consider one of those instances their own fault.#and the second time the person split off on their own (not really lucid or reasonable) terms and it nearly resulted in their death.#and thats not even CONSIDERING the nille situation. which is the entire reason bonnie is here.#you lose your sister. you hope its not forever but right now shes gone. and you're so so scared.#you get someone new who loves you dearly and reminds you of your sister. you love them back.#you nearly lose them TWICE. and they come out of it a shivering twitchy mess of a human.#now you have them BOTH back an dyou are never letting either of them go ever again.#because every time you've been separated from someone its only ever resulted in something bad happening.#wow im overthinking this.

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rubberbandgirlme · 3 months

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yeah so i've seen some bits here and there from the new update and i'm— is leander's route really that fucked up and we're gonna be shaken to the core or it's just usual gaslighting, manipulation and probably child sacrifice here and there

#touchstarved game #touchstarved leander #ts leander #my leander babes..#what do you think.... what do you expect....#im like literally so puzzled right now im both hoping for batshit crazy route and scared of it at the same time.....#WHAT IS HE #idk this info kinda..... disturbed me #i mean idek what to think and the game release is so far away 😭#we all know he's doing the shadiest business out there but WHAT is IT #ughhhhhh ok ill stop here or i might go crazy over all the theories in my head lol #touchstarved #leander

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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months

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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed

#not art #nsbu spoilers #kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase #also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick #and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here #(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and #becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone #I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did #and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity #(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction #and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping #we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that #and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along #while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People #like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded #like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders #not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything #I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender #and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up #deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u #dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here #the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect

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tamagotchikgs · 28 days

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i need 2 clean my room but instead i just lay here everyday like this

#aa..g #it would b so easy i have nothing in it #only my bed and cat tree and elliptical #except for some garbage on the floor #the only problem is if i pick it up n put it (back) into a bag then i have to get rid of the bag before my cats can rip it apart again #but if i take it downstairs my mom will get mad at me for having had garbage in my room #so instead everyday i just look at it n get filled w dread #my room is almost always clean the rest of the time #which makes it feel like it's just an extension of how much worse my mental state n anxiety has gotten LMAO..#worried itll get bad again like my old room i had when i was 15 #full of rot both me n everything in it #& i am so scared of that #even worse i have a migraine right now and i cant move #so i cant do anything about it #im just stuck here thinking of it n staring at it

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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So hey what if after the first time Frank went to remove that beetle from Eddie's post office, Frank like, would sneak one or two bugs in there as an excuse to get Eddie to talk to him?

I know it's probably ooc but the thought is so cute!

wait no that's actually adorable! and honestly we can't be sure that it Isn't ooc. it might be entirely possible that Frank would get a beetle (the prettiest one he could find, maybe?), ask it to just fly in and sit there. or just toss it in when Eddie's back is turned. and i mean, it's a perfect way to indirectly prompt interaction without going through the Mortifying Ordeal of initiating

#its a great icebreaker!#you know there's a lot of potential here i think.....#lmfao just thought of - what if it eventually backfires #and eddie gets desensitized to the Chitin Intruders #and just starts removing them on his own #frank *surprised pikachu face* frankly #but then maybe eddie's like 'hey. wait. i was starting to like frank's little bug-removal visits'#so he calls frank in anyway and tries to act scared but he's Not Selling It #and eventually its an unspoken 'we both know you're perfectly capable of handling this on your own but we want to see each other'#'so we won't address it'#awwwww wait now im thinking of eddie slowly learning a Lot about all the bugs from frank's visits until he Also knows them all by name #THE POTENTIAL!!! THE POTENTIAL!!!#rambles from the bog #ough now im picturing something landing on eddie during a delivery #and frank doing the Thing where he gently removes it....#oh the intimacy of removing an insect from a person afraid of it....#theres something so Tender about it #i should know! i was my friend group's designated Bee Remover

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genekies · 3 months

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tag vent

#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas #and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when #we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates #just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night #ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me #ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but #she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening #he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by #people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again #i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends #and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer #than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they #helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that #they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient #im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk #tag vent #vent in tags

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13eyond13 · 6 months

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one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh

#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun #to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things #here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw #neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll #have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both #in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book #i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly #i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...'#also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either #ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where #the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way #that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes #and some of neil gaiman's stuff #but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much #to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way #to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does #what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm #oh hp lovecraft hahahaha #least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb #like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like #yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it #also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me #p

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bunnihearted · 5 months

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☁️🌷

#ugh im so anxious and like i think i have more pains bc of it #i overslept bc ever since i got a new phone my alarm is so quiet i never wake up?? this is the third time this happens for this class #but i cant miss more bc if i have more than three weeks absence they'll fail me :< so i hurried and walked to school #i wish i had a bus pass T-T since they introduced civilian clothed controllants i havent dared taking the bus at all i dont wanna get a fine #so yes anyway. on top of that im pretty sure my sister stole my keys. bc they were in my jacket pocket yesterday and today they werent there #and she left somewhere earlier this morning. so now im anxious abt not knowing where they are + will i get inside?? my mom wakes up late af #ummm what else???? idk im just so stressed. i got to class and have been here for 40min now and the teacher left for lunch #i'll leave now bc i cant focus enough to sit here more. my tooth aches too :((#i just wanna cry tbh #the entire way here i was like i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die #i feel so awful.. and stupd and worthless. why am i incapable of getting a job? or even studying at university? im so bad at everything #im like an anxious wreck who can barely function. everything hurts both physically and emotionally #i dont even wanna walk home im just sitting in my empty classroom bc i dont wanna kove #move*#what's wrong with me? how did i turn into this? i miss school. like i miss being able to actually do my work and talk to the teachers etc #im only a shell of what i used to be. and im scared i'll never be anything other than this :((((#well i gotta move ig bc the sooner i do the sooner i can get home and lie in my bed & cry over how useless i am :3

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hella1975 · 1 year

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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it

#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried #im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that #im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal #just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails #like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow #and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things #like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice #and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off #she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin #AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed #im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim #like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now #and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT #but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work #like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough #the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY #hella goes home

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cosmic-ships · 4 months

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Jesus fuck these monsters work quick. I am now in the "I literally cannot leave the apartment or they will gather my stuff and donate it" portion of hell and I threatened to call the cops on them because I'm literally moving, I'm doing what they want. So apparently I'm not moving quick enough even though yaknow IT TAKES FUCKING TIME

#vent.tw #tw vent #I fucking hate it here. like literally hate them both.#they are both immature fucking babies. if something isn't their way or going fast enough they resort to some form of mental abuse #im pissed off.#i hate being stressed and pissed an fuck i carry A LOt of anger for this woman and now my step dad #if they both keeled over today i wouldn't fuckin' cry. sound's harsh but u don't know them like i do #I'm tried of the mental hoops i need to go through im tired of being afraid that myfood is gonna get tossed #now im scared my stuff is gonna get gave away if i leave fuck me i can't take this #i need happy thoughts im going to fucking lose it

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orcelito · 8 months

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My druid has "fuckboy" written all over her

#speculation nation #shes a druid but she does Not look it. nor does she act like it really.#druid stuff exists to beef myself up as a front liner (spores druid ftw)#and to act as an excuse like 'whaaaat why r u so suspicious of me im a druid 🥺🥺🥺 i just want what's best for nature 🥺🥺🥺'#meanwhile here i am hogging ALL the worms we manage to find (or. well. most of them.)#bc im going full ham into my powers lol theyre so useful #this is a game of pressing Every button and seeing what happens. yet still going along the lines of good? approximately?#it very much does feel like the kind of thing a druid drow would do. willing to consort with the darkness #but still ultimately striving for peace and order.#i am just perhaps a little bug-brained to accomplish this :3 #ive been playing a Lot of bg3. progressing well through act 2. everything is so very scary and i am just 1 druid 🥺#(i say as if i havent killed literally every single enemy ive come across. im so fucking good at this game.)#the house of healing was by far my least favorite part (so far). that boss battle was TERRIBLE but i managed to get through it.#according to my friends they just talked their way out of it. not me tho. i saw that guy strapped to the table and i was just like #'GET FUCKED BRO' *casts moonbeam* *proceeds to get the shit stabbed outta me*#holy shit he did so much damage. and he was focused ONLY ON ME.......#took me and shadowheart both healing to keep up with the damage he was doing (while astarion and karlach did most of the attacking)#but i did it! hes gone! but holy shit poking around his stuff has been so. eugh.#im in the towers now. so scary. just barely started them tho. gonna look for the prisoners and then proceed from there.#that ketheric dude is fucking terrifying. so big scared about him. but All Men Die The Same 😈#.....well maybe not exactly the same given his 'immortality' thing 😂 but i'll figure it out.#anyways yea check out taltana im going for a mixed feminine and masculine kinda vibes with her. and enjoying it very much.#bg3 spoilers/

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calumsash · 2 years

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Caught up in heaven but your heaven ain't the same

But I've never been a saint, have I?

#alright last one here we have fallen angels cashton TAKE 2!!!#if anyone remembers my old mb with this fic concept this one's for u #this is just like. another take on that. i just wanted to make something for it again. maybe a little darker.#trying to decide if this is just before calum gets banished from heaven or if this is after they both reconnect on earth #both options are good but maybe I'll go with the first one. a little backstory i guess #the way calum keeps crumbling and just can't keep doing this anymore. he can't keep quiet as people are suffering down there #and ashton understand. he does. but he's so scared of what they will do to them. he can't loose him.#guess what tho? he does. no matter how much he tried to talk calum out of it he just couldn't stop him. do he lost him just like that.#isn't that depressing? im sad now #god I'll never write this fic but i sure want it #5sos #cashton #5sos moodboard #aesthetic moodboard #halloweensos

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kaidabakugou · 10 months

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coffee dates with your mom have you spilling all your dirty secrets without a second thought 😭

#kai.rambles #idk what this phenomena is but it’s apparently common lol #im gonna tmi in the tags like it’s a little face time call bc i’m waiting at the airport for my friend #but i had a little coffee date with my mom yesterday bc we both needed a little break since the family is STILL here and hasn’t left #and we just need this whole thanksgiving thing to be over bc we’re going insane with so many relatives in and out of our homes #so we went to a local coffee shop that just opened and it’s so cute btw and ITS PET FRIENDLY so i saw many doggies there #and can’t wait to take woody when this whole doggy virus going around calms down 😔#but anyway she saw that i was like fidgeting in my chair and ask wtf was wrong and i told her that i had a pimple on my ass cheek lol #and she was like how did it even get there like you take such good care of your skin??#and i was like idk it just appeared there 😅#and she was like - 🤨🤨 after your bday?#and i said like yeahhhh?#at this point i already knew she was onto me lol and we both laughed and she asked what did my bf and i do for my bday #so i told her and now she won’t stop laughing at me #for context - here’s the tmi lol - but my bf used whipped cream on me for my bday and we cuddled for a bit #afterwards with the intention of going to shower but we ended up passing out all sticky 😭#and i quickly took a full exfoliating shower in the morning when i realized but it was already too late and now i have a pimple on my ass 😭#and it’s like more towards the inside of the cheek so it fkn hurts everytime i sit down #and i was so paranoid after that instead of putting one boric acid capsule into my pussy i put two just in case #bc i was so scared that i was gonna get and infection of something but it’s been 4 days now #and nothing’s happening so i think i’m good but yeah i told her and now she laughs everytime she sees me or remembers it 😭#i don’t mind bc it’s her and i trust my mom and tell her everything but i never get into detail about my sex life #so the fact that THISSS is the one thing about it that i tell her it’s hilarious #so yeah and now whoever reads this monstrosity of tags knows too #and if you did read this then come here bc i’m giving you BIG WET KISSES and taking you out on a little picnic date 💓💓#and we can wear matching outfits and feed eachother desserts🥺

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lesbianfrottage · 2 months

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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!

#it won't be honestly #I do not think I will ever actually get to have that #I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing #so no one really wants anything real with me #especially JUST with me #and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh #and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date #and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1 #but i still yearn for it #it's still an emotional need #and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met #it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met #but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness #some of us just don't get to be loved #some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us #i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay #I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog #(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn #and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it #but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can #like. even do #but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone #like emotionally or romantically or sexually #because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change #and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough #so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh #im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life

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bmpmp3 · 2 months

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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good #i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same #so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL #they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers #i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie #I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs #while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL #the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much #of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time #the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute #i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great #weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable #i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like #coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much #and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared #i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so #real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared #it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of #hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3 #loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute #altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd #anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited #it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered #i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing #oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME

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