#or other small closed groupings
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🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?
hmmm, this is a difficult one...
Ruhka is the one that has rp contacts currently, and I can see several of them (well, just about all that aren't in a relationship already actually, and not necessarily individually either) being in that category. The problem? He absolutely wouldn't. He knows himself enough that sex invariably leads to romantic feelings for him, it's not something he can stop. He can't have a friends with benefits situation or casual partners, and even just one night that no one else knows about is going to leave him in an emotionally precarious state. So the answer is 'no one' for him, but that doesn't mean he won't be a mopey and sad brat about it like the useless catte he is.
Canum, similarly, is a strict 'no' on all fronts, he doesn't see the appeal.
The rest? Yeah probably would, should they meet certain people. Tristan wouldn't need it to be secret actually, he doesn't care. Nemo would likely think it's the only intimacy he's going to get, but would doubt anyone would agree to get close enough to him, old burn scars leave a very off-putting texture. Yvet honestly wouldn't care much about anyone knowing either, but he would be fairly happy to join in on someone's fun, he doesn't really want to get in the middle of a couple... unless they're both inviting him.
#q'ruhka#tristan lovell#nemo antal#yvet ardoin#answer#ty!#I can't count any of them fully poly#but most of them are pretty open to the idea of trio or quads#or other small closed groupings#mmmm Tristan *maybe* might be able to do an open relationship but too early to tell
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".
Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"
Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)
Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say
Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.
I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.
In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.
If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.
But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.
Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.
"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."
It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.
...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.
(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)
#ALSO also I will take suggestions on other characters who should have prosthetics#Sunlit makes sense and it will make a really nice character moment later for him to have one built#There's also an amputee in RiverClan few people talk about called Stonestream#I can give him one and bump him up into a bigger character. In BB he is the sibling of Willowshine#BB!DOTC#better bones au#Also just as a side note... I love writing BB!Skystar. My ire for the character comes from his redemption arc so I feel like I get to--#--write the character I WANTED to see#Same with Bramble in other BB arcs#cw ableism#tw ableism#ableism#They're fascinating in that they always have to see themselves as the victim or the hero#They believe every lie they tell.#If you ever catch them in a contradiction they will still try to find some way to turn it on you and YOUR lack of understanding.#Interestingly both of them are ableist. Sky's is just more obvious because he's LOUDLY bigoted.#But BB!Bramble is *notably* less close to Jay for a very sad and very subtle reason.#Jay just doesn't serve his ego like the others do until much later in his life.#unfortunately most bigotry is like that.#the type you have a hard time calling out because it's a deniable bias. the constant gaslighting of being part of a marginalized group#Maybe I need to address the criticism by adding a character with a prosthetic to THIS arc even earlier#Problem is that like... Thunder's small merc group is already full of disabled characters and their THING is forming in response to ableism#OH maybe I'll put someone in the Forest Cat group which is lead by Slash?#I need to finish that last book and then gather up all the cats for sorting into allegiances
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I'm pretty suprise with 4.7 database, hoyo decided to sailing Sethos x Wanderer (additionaly HaiKaveh become more closer) and how heartwarming Sigewinne character story could be...
#genshin impact#clorinde#sethos#sigewinne#nothing unusual from clorinde so I can't say anything#while sethos morelike another pieces hoyo put for sumeru members#there's one info interesting enough to mention aside he's blend very well on sumeru members (lol)#in sethos character story there's line saying hat guy doing errands for example delivering a letter#now the question parts : whom nahida sent letter to that needs to be secret and fast ?#except his own people like alhaitam or cyno I only think one group#yes other archons#for what reasons ? i think it's same question as ei yae music event last scene convo#if in next one or two small event happens to be at liyue or mondstad means we need to read closely (lol)#for sigewinne side I very interest in her story quest#i expect things like neuvi story quest#but to my suprise nothing angst happened at sigewinne character story ?#overall it's so heartwarming#and additionaly just how airhead wrio can be (lol)#even from your childhood time he basically said “I hold you dear” sir#now it escalate into “I will do anything for you”#and about things with sethos line on haikaveh really funny#with how I perceive sethos normally it should be he tells us about kaveh being friends of tighnari cyno and he meets him at forest or alike#BUT sethos decided it's more memorable for them came as one and talks mundane things (lol)#it's like JUST HOW MANY TIMES he saw them together !?#it's so funny like wow what they become now from years ago (lol)
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i truly hate pms i hate feeling this way i hate not having control of my emotions and my emotions being augmented by something that’s hormonal and not what feels true to me like i know if the same situations were happening to me 2 weeks from now id react totally differently but i cant help but feel and react the way i am now but it also doesn’t feel like me or authentic so im hahahhaha
#the like truly life altering lows i can get before my period r insane#also the way i can get even more rageful and snappy is awful#im more mature and composed and unaffected than this and yet lmao#my friends don’t communicate about when we can hang out and then in another group chat theyre organizing hanging out today#with other people im not that close with and idk what the hang out is but they’re talking about when to meet#and i know its cuz of another group they’re part of that im not in but it makes me feel small and 14 again#i hate that i’ve spent most of my life mourning my loneliness and idk how to fix it#i try to make friends and join activities and still im lonely#idk! idk :) i will be fine in 2 weeks i guess
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I’ve been struggling with a reality that my friends and family are spread far and wide across the country for four and a half years now (like seven years really). Now one of my close friends who’s been a constant while I’ve been here is moving to yet another area of the country. I think it’s important to live your life to the fullest and experience as much as you can but at the heart of things the people closest to me feel like home. If I consider it too hard I feel a constant grief that home is never together all at once. I called my parents this evening but it was limited by the 40 minute Zoom limit. I haven’t gotten to see my youngest sisters grow up and now they’re almost teenagers. I would do anything for my childhood friends and they’ve been a 24 hour drive away (and drive three hours almost every weekend to see each other). I think it’s a crime that you can’t be with everyone important and experience every moment with them. I cried the first time so went home for Christmas during college because I knew I’d miss my college friends. I cried leaving my family to return back to my college town three years later. In the end, it would hurt so much less to not care quite as much.
Beginnings are so scary, endings are sad, and I have never, ever, appreciated the middle as much as it has deserved.
#personal#sorry to be sad on main#usually I don’t think too hard but when I do I get real sad about it#let me just live close to everyone I care about :(#at least I got a sick tattoo to commemorate the friend group#my other tattoo is was with my bestie growing up#I will permanently connect myself to these people if it’s the last thing I do#that way I can always have a small part of them close to me
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"i dunno, i don't think i have social anxiety or anything, i'm just awkward. like, i can do public speaking with no problem so long as i have a script, it's just that certain weird things make me nervous. it's fine, i just make it sound worse than it is when talking to my therapists." <=guy whose gut feelings are frequently convinced that basically everyone wants to beat him with hammers
#eliot posts#my mental issues just tend to manifest Weirdly lol#some things that make me socially anxious:#asking for things#approaching/talking to people individually when i previously only knew them in group settings#approaching ppl in general if i don't have a specific social script#talking one on one to much older adults#joining new groups of people where they know each other but i don't know all of them#also when ppl reference inside jokes to each other that im not in on i think they hate me and are leaving me out on purpose. bc they hate m#the middle stage between ''polite small talk acquaintances'' and ''actual close friends'' is both difficult and confusing AND scary#things that don't make me socially anxious that make most socially anxious ppl anxious:#public speaking#ordering food#making small talk when expected to#going places alone#so i'm totally mentally healthy see :)
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#i wish that i grew up with close friends#i want the classic small town friend group that you see in tv and book and shit#people that i can be real with#im so fucking lonely right now and it sucks#i feel like the only thing i do is yearn#i dont want to be defined by my want#but its one of the only real things i feel on a daily basis#its something that pierces through this endless fucking fog that i live in#i just want a true friend#how pathetic huh#and i have to keep this shit bottled up#i cant be real with anyone at all#it grates on me so fucking much#and i missed out on e v e r y t h i n g it feels like#i think i just want to be a child again. but like a girl this time#i hate being alone#i want to be held#i want hands running through my hair and i want to snuggle up to someone#and isnt it fucked up that this is all me?#theres no fucking outside factors i dont think#i was just born fucked up. a mistake#uselss good for nothing waste#i wish i wasnt such a fucking coward so i could vent in other ways. sorry any moots who sees this#yeah whatever. goodnight tumblr
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Vent/grief
#hhhhh it always feels weird going into the notes on an old post and seeing a person i knew who passed away#like just a random old fandom post#we werent close but like. it was nice always seeing that person at meetups and feeling welcomed by them#(since i was the newcomer there for college)#i was miserable but i still really miss that time in my life and think about all the ppl i met there all the time#fuck im crying lol i wish id been better friends with literally anyone there but especially that person too#fucking social anxiety and people dying young and moving back and forth from college ugh#i wish i did a ton of things differently#i hate not being an outgoing social person#but thats how my family raised me - to be introverted and quiet bc im the weird one in this stupid rural town back at home#i had a taste at freedom and all i did was take a sip rather than the whole drink#its really hard looking back and judging myself tho bc i know i was really going through a lot w mental and physical health#but if i knew it was only going to get worse i wouldve pushed myself harder#i miss that person and everyone else i met there and its hard feeling like im not allowed to grieve for a person i hardly knew#i always feel like an outsider no matter where i am or the people im around#i dont have history with anyone so its like. how tf do u start over new when everyone else already knows each other#all the small moments of momentarily feeling like a part of a group meant so much to me#anyway im ugly crying now i gotta try to do something else#vent#personal#delete later / /#ShitPost.exe
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she’s training me on how to reply 🙂↕️
#she says the most out of pocket things like what do i even say to that#but >< its so nice to have someone asking if i ate 🥺🥺#our personalities are so different but we’re So in sync yk… its crazy#also lol i haven’t been that active here lately so i don’t think ive mentioned her before but >< i have a new close friend now..#she introduced me to her friends too (im not that close to them tho) but its really fun to have a multinational group of friends 10/10#its crazy how all my friends have different nationalities and the only kuwaiti friend i made turned out to be my cousin 😭#thats what happens when the country is too small and my family is too big#its so crazy we’re literally cousins and ive never met her before uni 😭#and yk saying im kuwaiti on here Feels like im doxxing myself bc ?? we probably all know each other 💀#thats a little scary if you know me please look away
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Do you know why Shannon no longer uses tumblr?
I wasn't around when Shannon left (or if I was I wasn't paying attention), so those who were here feel free to correct me, but my guess is it was for professionalism/paring down her social medias
Over the years Shannon has become less and less personal as the series has grown--which isn't a bad thing. She has more work, more pressure. Maintaining an active tumblr is a lot of work and time, and she simply doesn't have it. It's easier for her to focus her attention on one or two sites, and IG and twitter have wider, more socially accepted/professional reaches; it makes sense to prioritize those
Authors also often distance themselves from fandoms to avoid accidental plagiarism--they may inadvertently be inspired by something they see in fandom spaces, it finds their way into their work, and then they may land in legal trouble. They can prevent this by simply never engaging deeply with fandom, because in that case it's impossible for them to be inspired by something they never saw
Of course I can't speak definitely for Shannon, but this is generally what I assume the reasoning to be :)
#kotlc#shannon messenger#quil's queries#nonsie#also. it's possible shannon thought since the kotlc fandom was so small she was giving an unfair amount of attention#to one group of fans over the others#because even as the fandom's grown. I'd say it's still a pretty close knit and intimate fandom#compared to millions worldwide? tumblr's niche. it may not feel fair#but who knows!
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hwait (finally looked it up) theyre actually allowing you to roleplay a city elf in veilguard?
#ghosts howling#I LOVE YOU!!! CITY ELVES!!!#fun fact pigeon actually is also a city elf. or well. was. before the circle got her (this is why she is a common domestic pigeon)#because :) i looove city elves#and also because i wanted to explore the alienation and loss of community aspect that implies#i mean you can do that with a dalish circle mage too of course but im personally very invested in city elf communities#i feel like theyre more glossed over than dalish clans. which isnt like an accusation im not going wow the fandom hates city elves#nor do i think bioware themselves has neglected it (theyve just neglected city elves in their entirety LOL)#but im just very interested in it. me when i grab a concept i like and trot away with it in my mouth like a cat#its like. its barely clinging on to the small bit of culture you have left while also evolving your own#and being disliked by everyone including what should be your own for showing cowardice or complacency in wanting to live#and through that fostering a very unique and close knit group of people who look out for each other. its what they do!#alienage communities are very underrated to me i like them a lot#theyre given so much shit by everything around them but they keep going and carve at least some happiness out of what they can#ANYWAY YAPPING OVER <- guy who is normal about city elves#its all comin up ghost...#playing a city elf warrior in veilguard is really sweet actually if this is what caps off everything the last 3 games built up... :)#going back to my roots.. though sadly not with dual-wielding :( whyy cant we dual wieellddd#sword and shield is for knight lesbians and two-handed is for savage lesbians we gotta have a good inbetween with dual-wielding
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May and June baby pictures <3
#splatoon#my art#my ocs#i keep thinking surely! i will burn out after this! and then i keep having energy and ideas afterwards. what the fuck#anyways heres baby June and small child May#May's around 9 here and June's around 1#They're very very close growing up- the entire concept around this piece is that theyre posing for a picture#with the picture being taken SPECIFICALLY bc June's matched herself to May's colors- something thats a BIG deal for baby inkfish-#-its basically a sign that whoever theyre instinctively color matching to is someone they trust and are viewing as part of the family group#Typically they match to parents- but matching to siblings or other relatives is common- but still very exciting when it happens!#so Mays BEYOND excited when June matches to her. Also June literally keeps that base color for basically ever lol#the squits
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I wish to be part of something so badly but my boringness and fear of creating bonds stop me from joining anything
#like friend groups or meetups or clubs or making friends or talking in groupchats#I cannot stress it enough when I say i'm boring#i've got /nothing/ to say 95% of the time#because i'm simply uninterested or i've got nothing “funny” or important to add into conversations#i'm friendly and polite for the sake of socialization because I don't know what else to talk about other than small talk and apparently#from what i've seen online and shit ; people hate small talk so what do I do then??#it never passes the small talk friendly stage so i'm always that 'friendly acquaintance who's just there'#is it me not knowing how to socialize properly or am I just overly introverted#istg people underestimate just how uninteresting I can be and it makes me feel bad towards my friends (or mutuals) I have because#what if they think I don't like them. what if they think i'm purposefully avoiding them. or what if they think I don't see them as a friend#i'm overly awkward and it kills me#i've gotten so used to my life with only 4-5 close people which consists of my mom; my cousin; and like. three close friends#that i'm struggling to keep contact with because 1) they live away from me and 2) I suck at texting on social media and reaching out#idk. I wish I were more interesting so my life would be more interesting#okay whatever now.#my silly little worries#sorry this turned into a rant/vent no one asked for; i'm just in my head this morning :/#// vent#// rant
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#periodical life updates#genuinely about to write a whole post explaining wxs ship dynamics because they ALL work well together. i love them <33#i have a LOT to say about emurui specifically. i know the big ship in this group. i get it! people /love/ the gays. but emurui is so cool#from the small things (rui understands what emu means when she says ''BANG-POP-WOOSH!'') to big things (their parallel arcs in WxS)#just! nene and tsukasa going to be big worldly actors and emu and rui curling in on the memories in the bubble of the wonderstage#how long will it last. how long do they still have together. they don't want to hold their friends back but this was everything to them.#do you THINK ABOUT THEM!! believe me i love every connection in this polycule but i need more people to think about emurui hdkjdh#anyway moving on. i have lgbt club tomorrow and a bunch of deadlines are definitely closing in :/ ive got a lot to do and i DONT WANT TO.#i definitely want to start the queue up again ive got a lot of things in there i want to reblog <33#i want to start on that eca comic again. waughh theres a lot. there's always a lot. oh well. we'll get through it.#idk what else to update on other than ''im really busy'' ''i'll restart queue'' and ''i think emurui is cool'' so i guess thats it!!#see u ily!!
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gave my number out to someone (god i wish i’d come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadn’t but wouldn’t dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because that’s mean and also i see him almost every day of the week
#kiwi shares their thoughts#he’s so… chatty#i have 0 things against him#but i NEVER have the energy to full heartedly interact with him whenever he tries to talking to me#and he’s just so exhausting to me for some reason#i don’t vibe with him enough to talk this often dude#there’s only a small group of people who don’t drain my social battery when i interact with them#and several people who don’t drain it as bad#but idk man this dude saps all my fucking energy and tests my patience but i don’t know why because he’s literally fine#the amount of times i have been THIS CLOSE to just… deleting the contact#if only i didn’t see him basically every day#i feel bad he wants to be my friend but it’s like he’s running and i feel like i’m being dragged when i’d prefer if we were just walking#anyone got tips on how to gently tell someone to calm down and fuck off#like can i put a text limiter on him#also i don’t know if it’s normal to him but he texted me “good morning”#bitch what#we literally are forced to see each other in like 2 hours the hell you mean good morning just fucking wait dude#my BEST FRIENDS AND I don’t even exchange good morning texts#that’s too much for me w someone who quite frankly is essentially a rando to me besides his name#anyways
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