#usually I don’t think too hard but when I do I get real sad about it
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my-name-is-untitled · 13 days ago
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I’ve been struggling with a reality that my friends and family are spread far and wide across the country for four and a half years now (like seven years really). Now one of my close friends who’s been a constant while I’ve been here is moving to yet another area of the country. I think it’s important to live your life to the fullest and experience as much as you can but at the heart of things the people closest to me feel like home. If I consider it too hard I feel a constant grief that home is never together all at once. I called my parents this evening but it was limited by the 40 minute Zoom limit. I haven’t gotten to see my youngest sisters grow up and now they’re almost teenagers. I would do anything for my childhood friends and they’ve been a 24 hour drive away (and drive three hours almost every weekend to see each other). I think it’s a crime that you can’t be with everyone important and experience every moment with them. I cried the first time so went home for Christmas during college because I knew I’d miss my college friends. I cried leaving my family to return back to my college town three years later. In the end, it would hurt so much less to not care quite as much.
Beginnings are so scary, endings are sad, and I have never, ever, appreciated the middle as much as it has deserved.
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i-starcreamed · 3 months ago
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Hi!, can I get some headcanons of transformers one character being jealous and the reader teases them.
D-16, Orion, Sentinel, Badassatron, and elita.
TF-ONE X READER
I tried to make this silly I'm feeling silly...enjoy
Post includes all of above :3
D-16
Tries to act unaffected by it, but doesn’t make a huge deal
Usually
He’s usually nice about it
Let’s say a bot is being really friendly with you, they’re making you laugh and everything. D sees from the distance, then comes up to you. Placing a servo against the small of your back-frame. “Heyy what’s so funny? I want to hear too :)”
He’s forcing a smile so bad.
He’s harmless, man, he trusts you completely
If another bot is for real flirting with you though, he's going to be so passive-aggressive
It’s more like he wants ur attention lol
If you teased him about it he’s going to deny it so hard
"What? No, no no.. I’m not jealous..pfft"
If you’re extra sweet maybe he’ll admit it
NOO y/n.. I’m funnier than them anyway.. I’m cooler too..
Orion
Don’t get jealous often either
He trusts you, he’s trustful of most bots
He gets jealous when you don't give him enough attention too
You’ll be talking to someone and he’ll just be in the background like,
“I’m..Y/N? Hey I..y/n? Uhm..I'm..right here..”
He’s so awkward, he doesn’t want to be rude to either of you but he’s lonely!!
If you tease him about looking sad when you’re not looking at him all the time, he’ll softly scoff.
"Well...yeah. They were flirting with you.."
sad puppy eyes
"Orion..they were asking me about Sentinels speech yesterday.."
"Oh...sorry."
eughhh
Sentinel
Oh boy
It’s a mix of irritation and jealousy
Why are you looking at someone else! When you can be looking at him!
He might be an attention seeker. He’ll just say things to catch your attention.
“Hey sweetspark, come look at my new paint job!” He calls you over as you're busy talking to someone else, he looks exactly the same btw
If you teased him I feel like he’ll take it way too seriously
“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of?? I’m literally Sentinel??”
But then his insecurity starts
“Wait…do you like talking to them more?”
evil sad puppy eyes
He'll only be content if you feed him compliments. Also erm..never talk to that bot again
#toxic
If he can’t demote the bot he was jealous of, he’ll try to one-up them, otherwise they are FIRED
After he gets over it he’ll be extra affectionate. You also get affectionate when you tease him so maybe it’s not so bad after all
insert makeout session
B-127
Badassatron
He’s definitely a bit attention and touch-starved after being stuck in low levels for who knows how many years
It’s only logical that he’s glued to your side for the rest of your life
If he’s jealous it’s very obvious. He tries to do something to get your attention or awkwardly stands there
Hey y/n look at this! - Does a backflip and falls
Tease him about it and he gets flustered
"Whattt? No, I’m not jealous!" He lets out a cocky laugh
“Ok maybe a little..”
Kiss his faceplate all over and he’s yours
He's definitely the least harmful
If he's jealous about a bot he particularly dislikes or they're flirting with you out and about, he might be more passive-aggressive about it
"Hey don't mean to intrude or anything, but uh, I'm kinda busy with my PARTNER. And by PARTNER I mean we're together. Yeah, uh huh! So, if you don't mind, my PARTNER and I are going to ignore you now. Since we're y'know..busy being together."
Elita
She’s smug about her jealousy, but only you could tell
“No, I’m not jealous. What makes you think that?”
Meanwhile, she’s giving the nastiest glare to the other bot.
“You really need to stop bringing their hopes up. Did you hear the way they were flirting with you?”
“Elita...they were just thanking me."
“Don’t even look at them actually"
If you tease her, she either denies it or is very proud
Like yeah she got a little jealous, she has such an amazing partner and anyone in their right mind would see that too.
Or no..she's definitely not jealous. She's just speaking her mind
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barbiiecams · 6 months ago
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doubts
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drew starkey x younger!reader (like 19/20 sorry not sorry 😭), reader calls drew “papa” *not in a weird way*, smut, in love w the age gap concept cus of @native2princess ! <3
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you watched yet another video on the internet of drew down at disney world without you, but with his friend group that all had a few years on you.
he would send pictures of everything that was cute or that reminded him of you, and you really did appreciate it. but it still didn’t swallow the lingering feeling in your gut.
you weren’t even invited. it was obvious why since you couldn’t even buy a drink legally, let alone not even close with half of them, but for some reason it still hurt and had you questioning things even further about everything.
you swore that you guys were drifting apart.
not only did that make you sad, but it also left you scared and questioning everything.
the only thing that made you wonder why you two were drifting like you thought you were was because of the age gap.
was he getting tired of you? was the age gap starting to become a burden? were you just too immature?
and let’s not even get started on how drew acted around his female friends — that were once again a lot older.
all you could do was just cry. it was a dumb reason to cry about, but you don’t wanna lose drew yet you really think you are. he was your first and you hoped he’d be your last, but who knows where you two may end up?
seeing how he acted with his friends currently was already ruining you. now you found yourself down a rabbit hole of searching through old videos of him before you were even dating.
it was crazy, of course you were aware of that. but it did nothing but further increase your worries seeing how he would act around these girls. all older than you and all more outgoing.
so now here you were, stalking your own boyfriend while you sat in your bed, silent tears streaming down your face.
currently, drew was now in paris for the fashion show. he wanted you to come, but it would be too difficult for you. plus school had just ended and both of you knew that you were planning to spend more time with your family this summer.
regardless of that, this feeling was awful. you’ve had old puppy-love heart breaks during highschool with guys you dated just to say you were in a relationship, but this is real. a real committed relationship you’re in with a guy a little over 10 years older than you.
he’s so mature. so are you, but not entirely. you still had a lot more to experience and learn, and he was always so patient.
but maybe now that patience was wearing thin.
you sniffle one more time before closing out all your apps and throwing your phone on the nightstand next to you. wanting to sleep it off and praying you’d wake up feeling better, your insides just were not letting that happen. not to mention you couldn’t fall asleep without at least getting a goodnight text from him.
laying down was no use. as soon as you tried to lay your head down on the pillow and just relax, the overthinking just continued to grow. there was no escape from these thoughts and it was just eating you straight alive.
you huff while turning over, switching sides and seeing if that would help. spoiler: it didn’t.
all you could do now is groan while sitting up. a certain thought ran through your mind that you really didn’t want to go through with, but did you have a choice? you already felt as if the end of things are near, so why let him break your heart (even though you’d be expecting it) when you can just do it the hard part first?
with a sigh, you reached over to grab your phone and open drew’s contact. everything was making you sick. you just stared at the screen, skimming over the conversation you had earlier.
it was the usual. ‘hows your day’, ‘i miss you’, ‘this reminded me of us’, all the cute stuff.
but it just didn’t hit the same. that feeling of him leaving you because of your age wasn’t going anywhere, and it was making you feel insecure on extreme ends
your fingers started typing. there were no real thoughts, just your pure raw emotions. you hit backspace a couple of times, you sat there and thought about the next few words you were going to say, but eventually you got it all put together it pained you type, but it pained you even more contemplating on whether or not you should send it.
‘hey drew. i’ve been missing you a lot recently and i know it’s weird and you’re going to question why i sent this after you read it, but im sorry. i really do feel like you’re leaving me soon and it’s taking a toll on me badly. i don’t want this to end but i can tell that it is and i just know + feel like we’re drifting apart. i feel like it’s because of my age so i really do understand and respect that. we can talk more once you get back because i hate to do this over text but i can’t just bottle my feelings anymore. goodnight 🩷’
a few more seconds of contemplation, you hit send and stared at the screen. you didn’t know how he would respond so you should’ve been shutting off your phone and running away.
but you didn’t. you stared at the screen and waited until he read it.
thankfully, it didn’t take him any longer than three minutes to open your message, and soon after, the dots were bubbling.
drew himself was lost. confused wasn’t even the word for the long paragraph you just sent him. he even started triple texting you.
‘???’
‘what are you talking about baby?’
‘i’m so lost’
you sighed reading his texts. he didn’t get it, realistically you shouldn’t have expected him to. it was out of the blue, and little to your knowledge, he didn’t think for a second anything was wrong between you too.
when you didn’t answer him as soon as you read it, he went back to typing.
‘answer me’
‘i’m really confused and worried. it’d be nice if you stopped leaving me on read’
‘call me now’
you didn’t even have a chance to start typing because you had an incoming call with drew’s name on it. you didn’t wanna pick up, but you knew you had to because if the roles were reversed, oh you’d definitely be throwing a fit.
swallowing quickly, you hit the green answer button to drew’s facetime call but moved your face out of the camera.
he’s walking, most likely back to his hotel with furrowed eyebrows and an expression that you think showed… annoyance?
drew’s the first one to speak up, “y/n, what the hell are you talking about?” he says sounding very confused and very upset as well.
“i feel like we’re drifting apart apart i don’t know.” you replied. your voice isn’t even a third as stern as his. it’s not stern at all nor convincing.
“where is that coming from? what are you talking about it’s our ages?” he questions you again.
you really hoped a fan wouldn’t come up to him. not because it would interrupt the call, but because they would be walking up on him pissed off and getting a taste of his very apparent bad mood.
you sighed, “it’s just how i feel. maybe i’m not mature enough for this.”
his face scrunches with confusion even further. he then looks down to his screen to see the ceiling you were showing.
“why do you all of a sudden feel this way? you are mature. if you weren’t, this relationship wouldn’t be a thing in the first place.”
this was something else you wanted to avoid; him being mad at you. you hated making him upset and now that you were already upset, and he was just getting annoyed with you, it wasn’t helping and it made you feel worse.
“show me your face baby. you know i don’t like talking to walls.” he says once you don’t respond to his actual voice this time.
reluctantly, you put your face in the screen. sitting up and cuddling onto your bed sheets.
“y/n, nothing is wrong. we aren’t drifting apart at all so i don’t know why you feel otherwise. we’re okay and you know this, baby. stop overthinking.” he reassures you.
before you could finally respond with anything else, you heard a few girls calling his name from the other side of his phone. good luck to them!
“i’ll call you back. we’re not done talking.” he says, then swiftly hangs up.
you wanted to puke. you hated being in any type of conflict with people, let alone being in one with drew.
a headache was starting to form, and it forced you to lay back down and sleep. you kept your phone right next to you on your bed, just in case drew woke you up by ringing your phone again.
you weren’t sure when the previous night you fell asleep, but you didn’t wake up until 12 the next day. and that was due to your doorbell ringing multiple times at once.
you whined at the fact you had to leave your warm bed, but you slowly made your way down your apartment’s stairs, rubbing your eyes and forcing yourself to wake up.
opening the door ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to wake you up at this hour, it was drew standing at the door with flowers in one hand and his stuff in the other.
now this is what really woke you up.
“how are you here…?” you questioned.
he exhales, “soon as we hung up yesterday i checked out and booked a flight here. we really need to talk in person.
you step to the side to let him in, then he shuts the door behind him and hands you the flowers.
both of you take a seat at the table. “i need you to fully explain what you’re feeling. that paragraph honestly made no sense and as soon as i read the whole thing i knew i had to get down here.” he says.
you press your lips together before speaking. “i’m sorry.”
he makes a face of puzzlement and also motions for you to keep going.
“maybe im not mature enough for this, drew. i don’t know.”
“what makes you think that? what happened or what did i do that has you questioning everything?” he asks, reaching out for your hand.
you sniffle before continuing, “i just feel like im holding you back. you’re buying drinks, going to clubs and hanging out with your friends who are all around your age and im still in school. it’s not working-”
he cuts you off before you can finish that. “those aren’t reasons, baby. it is working. do you feel left out or something?”
“no it’s just,”
there’s a pause before he says something again, “just what? i don’t understand what’s got you so in your head.
“i don’t know how to explain it. i just think you’re drifting from me because of where we’re at in life and i hate it.” the words finally form, and you can feel a little bit of weight being lifted off your chest now that you’ve got it out.
his expression now shows a face of understanding, then he’s standing up and swiftly making his way over to you, lifting you up before securing your legs around him.
you let out a squeal at the action. when he was balanced, he made his way upstairs to your room with you in his arms.
stepping into your decorated room, he throws you down on the bed then hovers over you. “i’m gonna prove to you that you deserve this relationship.”
his lips make their way to your jaw, leaving little lovebites on them, then down to your neck and chest.
your hands fly to his buzzed head. you let out soft sighs at his lips being on your body, a feeling you loved the most.
his hands travel to your pajama shorts then dipped into the waistband of your panties. as hes taking them both off at the same time, he distracts you by now placing his lips on yours, slowly making out with you.
now your hands are taking action, working to get is shirt off to see his toned body once again. when it’s off, one hand is still on his head while the other goes down to his abs, feeling on him.
now he’s starting to get quick, fumbling with his belt and pants, ready to do you into the mattress.
sooner than later, both of your clothes are off and in random sports throughout the room.
his middle and ring finger are inside you, stretching your out as you moan and grind into his hand.
drew’s cock is laying there on your stomach, practically reaching your ribs. this was just another reminder of how deep he really goes when fucking you.
you could barely keep your eyes on him while his fingers worked you. “that feel good?”
you moan out a “yea.” you definitely couldn’t let him go. the way he could make you fall apart with just his fingers is crazy as it is.
“i bet, baby. already so wet. you know what you want huh?” he coos.
this makes you nod. “want your cock, please.” you reach your hand down to where it rested on you, but he moves your hand away.
“i know you do. but i need this pussy stretched and ready for me.” he responds
“i can take it! promise! just give it to me,” you whine.
drew gives in at your begging. he removes his fingers from inside you before sticking them in your mouth.
he grabs his cock before lining it up with your entrance. he slowly pushes in, making you whimper around his fingers. it hurt a little bit, but the pleasure overrode the pain.
“shhh,” he hushes you, putting his cock in all the way and forcing you to take all that he gave you.
you continued to let out sounds because of the pleasure he was giving you. drew was letting out groans of content himself.
“feels so good, baby. so fucking good.” he throws his head back.
his words did nothing but turn you on more. your eyes squeeze shut before you guide his hand out of your mouth and onto your throat, signaling what you want from him.
he smirks before moving his other hand to your throat, choking you slightly but enough that you can still breathe.
“yea you like when i go hard on you, right baby? this pussy just loves when i go rough on her, doesn’t she?” he teases.
“mhm!” you squeak, loving the feeling of just taking all of him so deep and so rough.
he makes your legs cross completely around him before leaning down into your neck.
this was your favorite position. you being on your back, him groaning in your hear and putting hickeys on your neck, it was so much at once and you loved it real bad.
his lips are right next to your ear. “i’m not going anywhere, yeah?”
he lets out another sound before continuing, “you’re not leaving me either. neither of us are going anywhere.
your breath catches in your throat when he says this. maybe this was all you needed. some reassurance, and a good pounding to go with it.
he sits up before pulling out to turn you around. now that you’re flat on your stomach, he slides right back in with a hand on your lower back right before your butt and the other pushing your head down into the pillows.
you screamed out when he started thrusting all over again. it hurt so good, you just wanted to do this forever him.
you tried to move away slightly because he was just going ham on your poor hole. but all it took was you reaching one hand up, gripping the sheets and trying to pull away before he yanked your head back by your hair. he then brought your back up to his chest and held you by your throat.
“stop running, baby.” he growls into your ear.
“it’s so deep tho, papa.” your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open.
he kisses right below your ear, “you’re fine.”
that bubbly feeling started to form again. you were about to cum, and somehow drew could always tell too.
“know you’re gonna cum, mama. hold that shit.” he tells you as he pushes you back into the sheets.
right now that request just didn’t seem possible. “i can’t!”
he gives your right cheek a firm slap. “you can and you will. don’t make me say it again.”
you guys stay in this position for a while. him just hitting it from the back deep and all you needed to do was lay there and take it like a good girl.
his good girl.
suddenly, he flips you back over, then lays down himself setting you on top. now he’s got his feet planted on the bed, thrusting up into you.
at this angle, you guys can see the belly bulge happening from how deep his cock was. just proving how big he really is again.
“see that baby? that’s me. all up in those guts.” he says to you.
you throw your head back, but he cups the back of your head to bring you down into him, chest to chest.
“y’the only one who gets fucked like this. y’know that? only one who deserves it too,” his arms wrap around your waist now. “only fucking one.”
his lips are practically on your ear as he says this. you’re only able to nod, but he wants to hear your voice.
“tell me you understand that baby, say it.” his thrusts slow down, but there still deep, and he’s angling it to make sure he’s hitting that good spot.
“i…”
another slap hits on to your cheek. “say it, princess.”
“yes! i understand!” you finally moan out.
“yes who, baby?”
“yes papa!” your voice is weak now.
he smirks at your submission and continues to fuck you hard. more than just a few thrusts later, he’s letting out a lot more groans than what he already was.
“shit baby… y’gonna make me cum soon. you gonna let me put it in you, hm?”
“drew…”
his hips are starting to stutter. “know you’re ready to cum too. been holding it in like papa told you too, good girl. fuckk.”
his arms are really really squeezing around your waist, keeping you still so you can’t try and move from his brutal thrusts.
“cum with me baby girl. got a big load for you.” he moans.
“don’t knock me up.” as good as the moment felt right now, you were dead serious about that.
he chuckles, “i won’t baby. know you wanna feel that cum all in your stomach tho.”
you moan one last time before finally cumming around him. you couldn’t hold it back anymore, no matter how much he told you to wait for him.
but your own orgasm sent his off. he felt you come undone around him, and two seconds later you felt his hot sperm fill you up.
drew’s arms moved from around your waist to seriously gripping your hips down, not letting you waist a drop of what he had to give you.
moans and deep breaths were coming from the both of you. that was the most intense sex you guys had for a while, not to mention the first time he’s actually came inside you.
when he finally came down from his high, he slowly pulled out of you and just let you rest on his chest.
“thank you,” you quietly speak up.
he doesn’t respond, but he smiles and kisses your forehead.
minutes after just sitting in silence, he sits up against your headboard and takes your face into your hands.
“baby, when i say youre what i want i mean it. if you weren’t mature enough for me, i wouldn’t still be here.” he says. you don’t actually answer, you want him to keep going.
“i love you so much, sweetheart. nothing about that is going to change and nothing can make it change. i don’t know what you saw or if i did something, but im sorry. okay?”
you nod with a smile. “okay.”
he smiles back at you then pressed his lips against yours, giving you a nice firm kiss. which slowly turned into a makeout.
you guys pull away just to catch your breath, “we gotta get you packed up, sweetheart.”
“for what?” you ask.
“i’m taking you back to paris with me.”
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princessbrunette · 7 months ago
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deer!reader who prunes in the bath for hours everytime she’s upset. this time it was jj’s fault, and he’d admit it. he was meant to pick her up from work and take her out to eat — but he got caught up in pogue stuff and forgot.
he lets himself into her home knowing her family were away. usually when he did so, her skittish footsteps would come sliding along the hallway, barrelling into him quietly rambling about how she can recognise the pattern of his footsteps which is how she knew it was him — but now the house was too quiet. he could hear the pipes churning however, and distantly if he listened close enough — the dripping of the taps upstairs.
she stares ahead when he enters, still wearing a face full of makeup from her day as she reclines in the bath tub. if she were in a different mood, she’d comment on how very sofia coppola the whole thing was— but she was sad, and feeling neglected, so instead she huffs subtly out her nose, not wanting to acknowledge the blonde.
“okay so… i messed up.” he begins carefully as he creeps into the room. “y’know i was actually like, super looking forward to seeing you i just… i lost track of the time. you know how bat shit crazy john b has been lately over this whole treasure thing.” he exasperates, dragging his feet over to the side of the bath. out the corner of your eye, you can see him rubbing at his chest nervously. it almost made you feel guilty.
you say nothing. as much as you wanted to do the mature thing and communicate how it made you feel, how all of it had been making you feel lately — you feel to indulge the pettier side to you instead. perhaps if you acted uncharacteristically and gave him the silent treatment, he’d see you meant business. he presses his lips together, nodding and yanks his hat off, dropping it by his feet.
“nothing? okay uh… i deserve that.” he ticks his head, staring at you in thought for a moment before lowering himself to his knees besides the tub. the water sways as you shuffle slightly, the dripping sound the only noise present in the room for a second. “how can i make it up to you? i’m here now so, let me.” his gaze is serious, brows raised at your side profile.
you don’t offer him a response, not directly anyway. you simply cast your eyes down with a sad sigh. maybank bites his lip in thought before standing on his knees, moving as close as he could. stroking your cheek with his thumb, he stared wistfully. the thumb travels to tuck itself beneath your bottom lip, and you try not to preen into his touch. noticing your resistance, he thinks for a moment longer before pushing his sleeve up, sinking his arm into the warm water.
“i don’t like it when you’re sad, bamb. makes me all sad. think i got a few ideas on how to apologise though.” he speaks quietly, in that lower tone that only you get to hear. he smiles when his hand touches your thigh and you bashfully spread them beneath the water without any convincing. “that’a girl.” he hums.
fingers trailing up your thigh toward your centre, he continues to stare at you, eyes occasionally jumping to his hand. your breath hitches and you try to hold your resistance and be strong, but you missed his touch and it’s hard. without having to tell him that he nods. “i know.” he drawls, the southern twang comforting you. “messed up real bad, huh?”
you nod, and he takes the slight communication as a win, knowing he’s buttering you up. the water splashes lightly when he reaches your cunt, gently massaging your clit beneath the water. a shaky breath leaves you and his teeth find his bottom lip again, concentrated. “i’on even deserve t’touch you but… s’the least i can do. gotta give the princess her princess treatment n’stuff.” he comments, and you relax further into the tub, a quiet whimper leaving you as your legs spread wider. “mmhm.” he responds.
this continues for a little while longer before you can’t take it and you speak.
“you need to make time for me.” you whisper and he nods, eyes wide and almost innocent.
“i gotta make way more time for you. gonna clear my whole schedule bae.” he sounds desperate, and you’re glad he’s understanding. your brows furrow, panting, feeling too hot in the water now.
“jj.” you enquire and his eyes don’t leave you, nodding again.
“yes— yeah?”
“take me out the bath. wan’you to fuck me on the bed.” you mewl quietly, ashamed at how fast you broke.
“yes ma’am.” he wastes no time, hand leaving you to yank the plug from the bath, tripping over and falling onto his knees when he attempts to get up and run to grab you a towel.
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magics-neptunes-things · 5 months ago
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Trouble
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Hi guys!
So this come from a request I had several weeks before, but I deleted it like the dumbass I am :) Sorry dear Anon, but they were asking for a long story like the one I did for Alessia and Caitlin.
So here it is :) I hope you'll like it, it's a long one. And I haven’t proofread it, sorry for the mistakes I’ll do it later 🙃
Please enjoy ♥
TW : Pregnancy, Angst, Injuries, mention of breakup, concussion and I think it's ok like this. Please tell me if I forgot anything.
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Even if you are from Spain, you are a figure from your youngest age at Arsenal. You are here since your 20 birthdays, and you just finished your seventh year in the north London. You have seen a lot of people coming and leaving, the last one leaving being of course Vivianne Miedema. It was a sad day honestly; you are anyway happy to see Mariona coming with you and Laia to extend the Spanish population in Arsenal. You are three now. Laia, Mariona and you.
You get along pretty great with all the people, even the new signings like Kyra or Alessia. In reality there only is one person with who you don’t really get along.
Leah Williamson.
It wasn’t like that at first, to be honest. You were coming from Real Madrid, but it was to run away from the RFEF and everything’s coming around. You talked about it with your Arsenal teammates, even in 2017 you already had several troubles right there.
Like your Spanish teammates, you sign the letter against the RFEF and like a lot of them you decide not to keep playing under those conditions. But like Mariona, Ona and Aitana, they promised you some changes and you trusted them. So you get back. How wrong you were. But it was too late to change your mind, too many things were engaged. It was in 2022.
Maybe it was at this point that Leah really became hostile towards you. At least she wasn’t afraid to show it off.
You are playing in the defense, usually just next to the same Leah. Like you said you weren’t really closed, but you were doing a great job together. A lot of things happened during those seven years, you have several breaks up with one intervening in 2022 after your ex-girlfriend, Gio, left for Everton and then Spain.
Late spring 2022 too, you got hurt and stayed away from football for several months. You chose to do your rehab in Spain, much to your teammates’ misunderstanding. You still came back several times to meet your doctors at Arsenal, but that’s all. You still managed to come back on the pitches for the World Cup and won it with Spain.
This year you weren’t injured so you were able to play all the games Jonas wanted you to, and you won several other things with Spain.
Which takes us now, at the beginning of a new season.
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It was a little hard to come back in Arsenal’s training without seeing Viv. You started at Arsenal at the same year than her, with Beth too. Talking about Beth, it’s probably way harder for her. But you can’t approach her, Leah being always around and looking at you like she’s going to kill you.
You pass all your time with Laia and now Mariona, even if the girl seems to enjoy being able to see her girlfriend as long as she wants now. Which you don’t blame her for a second. You don’t miss Leah’s glare when you enter the gym training, rolling your eyes while Mariona fly to Lia.
You chose a machine next to Steph, who greats you with a smile. You smile back before starting your training, your mind maybe a little somewhere else. You were still training when Jonas comes to you to mumble something in your ear, asking you to follow him.
He takes you to his office, where you find other members of the staff too. That make you frown, but they smile at you from the start, probably to ease your mind.
“Hi, Y/N. We just wanted to see how you are doing?”
“I’m fine, thanks” you answer, always a little suspicious.
Well, it was before you spot Win, Arsenal’s dog, who comes to boop your hand with his nose. You smile and start to stroke him, looking back to the other people on the room when they start talking.
“How are things at home?”
“Oh… It’s pretty great actually, thank you”
You give them a sincere smile, who seems to convince them. It was Jonas who talk next.
“We just wanted to remember you that we have a daycare reserved for Arsenal in the building. Are you still sure that you don’t want that? It could be way easier for you.”
“No” you answer, shaking your head.
Here is the real reason why you were absent during several months. You had a baby. A non-wanted baby after a simple fling with a boy who live somewhere else in the country. He visits sometimes and take your kid for a day or two, but he still lives in South Shields and told you in the early hours of your pregnancy that he won’t be able to move on in London.
You didn’t ask him to do it and you didn’t want to move from London too. So the things settled like this and you manage your career and your baby as good as you can. Your parents come from time to time to help you with, too. But your mother is sometimes a little too much, honestly.
“And what about the fact to talk about it with your teammates?”
You shake your head one more time. Here is the other thing, you haven’t talk to any of the girl about your pregnancy. You don’t really know why, you were scared to be judged, even if you know that they almost all are really understanding and sweet. You had to inform the staff and you find a compromise by saying to the world that you were injured. Which was wrong.
“Maybe it could be easier too if th- “
“I said no”
They all share a look, but you stand your ground. Leah flows in your mind, you are pretty sure that she would be piss off about the situation and the mystery around it. And the idea of your little perfection being talking badly makes you sick, to be honest.
“Ok well, you can go back to training.”
You mumble a thank you, stroke Win a last time before getting up. You are a little angry about this conversation, this isn’t the first time they tried to make you talk about it to the other players. Maybe it could explain a lot of things to them, why you are late sometimes or why you look very tired several times too. Why you skip almost all the team’s bonding too.
Well, you probably wouldn’t come if you could, Leah’s here and you stay away from her as much as possible.
You are still angry when you find your teammates and you have never been a good person when it comes to hide your feelings. Everyone in the team can see it but you ignore the whispers and the looks exchanged.
They were now in the room where Jonas talks about strategy and new of the team for the team’s meeting. You go sit next to Mariona, who gently pushes you with her shoulder. You smile softly at her, before putting your head on her shoulder.
“I’m fine” you mumble.
Mariona knows, like Laia, but only because they are your Spanish teammates, and you couldn’t hide it from them during the World Cup or the Olympics. Safe to say that they all became aunties, with Alexia Putellas of course being the favorite one. She’s really great with kids.
You intercept a furious glare from Leah and arch an unimpressive eyebrow at her.
“Can’t she give it a rest from time to time?” you groan silently when Jonas enters the room too.
“Basta” Mariona mumbles back and you groan back.
It’s only when Jonas starts to talk that Leah turn her eyes and you sight softly, sitting correctly on your chair. You hate team’s meeting, it always at those moments that the tiredness comes harder. While you are in movements, it’s ok, you can manage it. But when you are supposed to stay still, it’s harder than anything. Thanks god, Mariona keeps crushing your foot when she feels your attention getting low.
You totally avoid Jonas for the rest of the day, but you couldn’t escape Leah during the training. You are on the same team during the mini-games and we can’t say that the agreement is very courteous.
“For God’s sake Y/N!” almost shout Leah when Caitlin managed to score after passing you.
“If you were in your position, I wouldn’t have to defend the entire field alone, Leah” you spit back.
“I was trying to score! I can’t do everything”
“The keyword being trying here” you snort.
Leah is furious, but you are too. The frustration of the conversation from this morning is still here and you aren’t able to cool off like you usually do. The blonde is now facing you, but you don’t move. You both have literally the same height and you are not afraid of her.
“At least I’m trying things, not like you. Always doing the same boring tricks every single day of your life.”
“What the fuck is your problem, Williamson?”
Just when you wanted to push her away from you, Katie is here to take you away from Leah, while Alessia does the same with Leah.
“Hey breath Mate, it’s just training yeah?”
You nod and take the bottle of water Laia is giving to you, taking several longs sips. You shouldn’t have reacted that way, but Leah is getting on your nerves. You don’t know what Alessia is saying to Leah, but the blonde answer something quickly and animatedly to her.
At the end of the training, Jonas takes Leah and you on the side, scolding both of you like children. You put your best poker face; arms crossed on your chest. There is a hint of challenge in your eyes when you look at the man. You are still piss of about the conversation from this morning. You had a deal about your pregnancy, and they still try to turn it in their way.
“Y/N can I give you a word alone?” he asks after her speech.
“Not again Jonas, I’m sorry. I really have to go.”
He sights and makes a gesture with his hand, to tell you to go. You don’t hesitate to go to the locker room, taking a quick shower before leaving the facility. Your baby is waiting for you in the daycare and you have to go as soon as possible.
“Y/N?”
You turn when you hear Mario’s voice and stop in your run to your car.
“Yeah?”
“You know about the team night this weekend?”
“Yeah?” you say one more time.
“It’s at Lia’s. And she asked me to make sure that you will come too.
You sigh and roll your eyes. Mariona as a guilty smile and shrug. You can perfectly picture how the conversation went, and you can’t help but being amused by it.
“Will Leah be here?”
“Probably. It’s at Lia’s.”
There is a beam of silence.
“Y/N, come on please. I’ll missed you.”
“What did Lia promised you if you make me come?”
“Nothing” Mariona laughs. “She just looked at me with those green doe eyes and she knows I can’t deny her anything.”
You sigh once again while rolling your eyes.
“Alright, I’ll be there. But I’m not passing the night.”
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You haven’t exchanged a single word with Leah since your fight during the training. Unlike the other times, you don’t even look at her now, you just ignore her. Making like she doesn’t exist, even if there probably is another more mature way to deal with things. But you have to be mature every day, so if a teammate decides to shout at you without reason, you are just going to ignore her and that’s all.
Of course, Leah is here when you enter Lia’s house, looking stupidly attractive in her white top and jeans. But Laia immediately takes you by the arm to lead you in another part of the room. You don’t know if they planned something together, but you decide to ignore it.
“Where’s your little one?” Laia whispers softly.
“With his usual babysitter” you answer quietly. “He was asleep when I left, maybe he’ll sleep well tonight.”
There is a big hint in your voice telling Laia that you absolutely don’t believe it. Your son has the worst sleep in the world. Laia smiles and pat your back with affection, and you snuggle against her, never against hugs, kisses and a little of love.
“Can’t she keep her hands for herself?” Leah groans on the other part of the room.
Lia, who was sitting next to Mariona, laughs softly. She’s the first-person Leah goes when she wants to grumble about you, but the Swiss woman never took it seriously. Until your fight the other day, you never have a word against each other, to be honest.
“Just stop looking at her” Lia smiles.
“Hard to do when she’s so noisy”
“You’re acting in bad faith” Lia points, making Mariona smiles next to her.
Leah snorts and drag her attention somewhere else in the room. Katie and Caitlin are giggling on a sofa, thanks god there are people as single as her in this team too. Leah was thinking about getting up to find Alessia and Lotte when Mariona talks.
“When are you going to do something about your crush for her anyway?”
Leah is so stunned that she looks at Mariona blankly for almost one minute.
“I’m sorry?”
“Don’t look surprised. The sexual tension between you two is hard to miss. You fancy her and it’s ok, really. Just do something about it.”
“I don’t fancy her” Leah seems really outraged. “She’s so annoying and full of confidence, it gives me the ick. Plus, she can’t stop to touch everybody, even people she knows are with someone, just like you.”
Leah’s looking at Mariona, who arch her eyebrows. It’s Lia who answer something at that though.
“She’s Spanish, Love. They are just touchy” Lia shrugs.
“We are” Mariona confirms with a knowing smile towards Lia.
“You both are disgusting.”
“At least I’m being disgusting with someone else, I’m not just starring at a girl pretending hating her.”
“I’m not pretending” Leah growls before getting up.
From your point of view, you just see Leah getting up, complaining something that no one can really understand. You watch Lia and Mariona talking before Laia takes your attention again by asking you a question. You are now sitting with Stina and Frida, in addition to Laia and you were casually talking with a glass of alcohol in your hand.
The night went pretty great, you don’t drink a lot and you are having a lot of fun, catching up with your teammates. You talk to a lot of them, usually going away from Leah. You don’t realize that she’s looking at you from time to time, you are still ignoring her. It’s hard for you, you have to admit. Every time you spot some blonde hairs, your eyes always turn in her direction.
“Oh, I have to take this one” you frown, picking your phone from your pocket.
It’s the babysitter and it’s never good when you received a call from her. Usually, she’s able to manage your son’s cries or behavior.
“Hello?” you answer when you are on the other room.
“Hi Miss, I’m sorry to disturb you… But you probably need to come home.”
You feel your blood freeze in your veins, hearing this poor girl explaining to you that your son caught his feet in the carpet while wanting to join his babysitter in the living room after waking up.
You are livid when you end up your call before turning around, just to face Leah. You swear inside your head but for once she’s looking at you with something else than disdain. She seems concerned.
“Are you ok?” she asks.
“I… Can you get me Mariona or Laia? Please.”
She looks at you several seconds before nodding. You saw her form going in the living room while you are on your phone, asking for an Uber.
“Y/N? Que passa?”
Mariona’s voice startle you, but you are relieved to realize that Leah hasn’t follow her. Even if your friend is talking in Spanish and Leah probably don’t talk a single word, even if she likes to go to Ibiza on holidays.
You explain to Mariona what is happening in a quick Spanish, going to grab your coat when your Uber informs you that he’s coming in five minutes. The Balearian promises that she will say goodbye to Lia and the others for you and just with that, you left the house.
You took your son and his big bump on the hospital, where you pass the night. The doctors decided to keep him under observation in case of concussion. You kept Mariona and Laia informed and ring his dad too. You feel a little alone, sitting on that awful plastic chair while your son is peacefully sleeping on his bed.
You almost regret refusing Mario’s offer to come with you, but it was her girlfriend’s party. And you would have need to explain a lot of things to the others.
You skip the training two days later, wanting to stay with your son. He’s good to be honest, but you prefer not to take any risks with his health. He’s still little after all, he’s not even two years old. And seeing him in pain just break your heart.
Laia visited you and brought you some groceries and fun things for your little man. He likes when Laia or Mariona are visiting, he seems to love talking in Spanish more than English.
He was already sleeping when someone knock on your door that night and you hesitate before getting up to open the door. You aren’t waiting for anyone rand you aren’t in the mood for some canvassing.
But it isn’t someone wanting to sell you some assurance who you face when you finally open your door. It’s Leah.
You look at her blankly.
“What are you doing here?”
There is no harm in your question, almost no one came to your apartment since your delivery. You changed one of your guestrooms for a nursery, where your baby is sleeping right now.
“I don’t know. I just… You weren’t in training today” Leah shrug.
“You could have text me” you point.
“Would you have answer me?”
There’s a beam of silence.
“Probably not” you smirk before sighing when you realize that Leah isn’t moving. “So, why are you worried for me?”
“I’m not worried about you” she snorts. “I’m your captain, I need to check on my players.”
“You could have asked Jonas” you shrug.
“After our little commitment from the other day, I wasn’t sure that he would have answer something to me”
You exchange another look before you sigh one more time and let her come inside your apartment. She came here several years ago, so it’s not a surprise for her. Not a lot of things have changed, and you are a little neat freak, so there isn’t any toy on your living room.
“You can sit” you point your couch.
“Why are you whispering?” Leah whispers back.
“I’m not whispering” you whisper.
You are whispering. You really hope that your son is dead asleep and will not hear that you are having a late visitor.
Leah groan in frustration and briefly press her hands on her eyes while sitting on your couch. She then raises her head again and looks at you, sitting on the arm of the same couch.
“Look Y/N, I know things are a bit tensed between us for several months now…”
“Yeah, I still don’t know why. Just saying.”
Leah bites her lips and looks at the windows, probably trying to sort her thoughts in the right order. You are really intrigued, you never really understood why Leah’s behavior changed with you. You only have assumptions, but nothing to be sure of.
“Would you understand if I… - “
“Mamá?”
Holly shit. Leah turns so quick to the voice coming from the entry of the living room that you actually don’t see her making the move. You ignore the strange feeling in your throat and turn yourself to your son, putting the sweetest smile on your face.
“Que passa Cariño?”
He reaches out to you while you approach him, and you don’t hesitate to take him in your arms.
“Who dat?” he mumbles, switching automatically in English, his face half-hiding behind your shoulder.
“It’s Leah, you saw her on telly, do you remember?”
He nods and Leah waves at him still under the chock.
“Number 6”
“Sí Cariño.”
His big eyes are looking at her with intensity and curiosity, but it’s not the time for him to do that.
“I’ll take you back to bed” you inform him.
He nods again and wave back at Leah. You don’t have the courage to look at her and take all your time to put the toddler to sleep, even if he falls back asleep very quickly. You almost hope that Leah would have left when you come back in your living room. But of course, she’s still here.
“So… This was why you were whispering” Leah finally comments after several minutes of silence.
You roll your eyes and let you fall on the couch. Leah knowing your secret is the worst thing honestly, if you had to choose someone on the team you definitively wouldn’t have chosen Leah.
You must look desperate, because when Leah talks to you again, it’s with the most caring voice ever.
“Look, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
You just have to look at her eyes to know that you believe her. Your eyes follow her hand when she puts it on your knee, and you remember the first months of your arrival in Arsenal. Leah was sweet and caring with you too. You were getting along so great. This gesture makes you realize that you actually miss it.
“Thank you” you mumble.
“Who else know?” she asks softly.
“Mario and Laia, and I have to tell the staff obviously” you sigh softly. “And the players of my national team know too, it was impossible to hide during the World Cup. The fans assume that it was Mateo’s cousin.”
“That’s why you went to Spain during your recovery” Leah realizes aloud, before frowning. “Wait, you weren’t really injured, were you?”
“No” you sigh. “But my pregnancy wasn’t really wanted, and I panicked. I needed to go back to my parents, and they helped me with it. Then he was born and now he’s here. I sometimes want to tell you all but it’s harder everyday and I really wanted to protect him from the media and stuff. But the staff wanted me to talk to you all for several weeks now”
“Is that why Jonas calls you to his office sometimes?”
“Yeah” you breath, still annoyed. “We had an agreement with me not talking about my son but they try to make me change my mind.”
“Oh.”
You raise your eyes on Leah, to see that she seems a little uneasy and thoughtful at the same time. You don’t know why you are explaining all of this to Leah, even if she knows now, it’s still Leah.
“I was sure that you had something happening with him.”
“With Jonas?” you ask with disbelief and grimace when she nods. “Ew. No.”
Leah laughs slightly and you can feel her looking at you with attention. It’s maybe the first time she’s looking at you without animosity from a long time now. You feel yourself blush slightly, but she doesn’t point it.
“I have like a billion of questions” she admits.
“I’ll answer them, but I need a drink before. What do you want?”
“Same thing as you.”
You come back with two Spanish beer, and you smirk when you watch Leah looking at the name of the brand on the bottle before drinking.
“Who is the father?”
“You don’t know him. He was a random hookup after my breakup with Gio. I was trying to forget it; I didn’t expect to forget it that way though. He lives in South Shields.”
“So, you raise him alone?” Leah frowns.
“No, he comes from time to time. Sebastian loves him and he’s great with him, but he has his life in South Shields, and I couldn’t ask him to let everything down to come in London. And the closest place to South Shields would have been Manchester, there was no way that I leave Arsenal for United.”
Leah has a vague grimace, and you can’t help but smile. You heard her too many times talking about the fact that Alessia left the wrong team to come for the best. She then drinks her beer, seeming to register what she just learned.
“Does Gio know?”
You shake your head before answering.
“I haven’t talk to her since the breakup” you mumble.
“Would you have liked to if you hadn’t been pregnant?”
“I don’t know, Leah.”
She nods once again, looking lost in her thoughts one more time. You take advantage of it to look at her really for the first time for ages. You always loved her eyes and found the wrinkles around them very cute. But Leah is beautiful, it’s not something new. She isn’t fancied by dozens of fans for nothing.
“Sebastian is a pretty name”
She suddenly raises her head on you, catching you staring at her. Well, almost checking her, you have to admit.
“Oh, thanks”
You clear your throat nervously before talking again. You didn’t realize how hard you were staring at her and you hate her smirk and the cockiness with which she raises her eyebrows.
“I should go. I’m sorry I showed up like this without warning and kind of force you out with your secret.”
“Don’t worry, I’m used to it” you roll your eyes, thinking about Arsenal’s staff.
“I can tell a word to Jonas if you want me to. Asking him to leave you alone.”
“I can defend myself” you frown.
“I know.”
Her answer makes your annoyance subside as quickly as it had ridden. She just wants to help; she’s not judging you. You look at her eyes maybe a little longer that what you should before smiling at her softly.
“I’ll ask you if I need you, ok?”
“Deal.”
Leah stands up and you are a little sad to see her leave, but you should probably go to bed too. You follow her to the door, opening it for her. She passes the doorstep before turning in your direction.
“Will you be at training tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Sebastian is going back to daycare.”
Leah smiles and before you can react, she kisses your cheek before going to her car. The way your cheek burn stupidly even minutes after annoys you prodigiously.
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After that night, you realize that Leah is looking at the best way to recreate the friendship you had in the first place. She’s awkward sometimes but that make you laugh. The others have realized that something changed between both of you, and you informed Mario and Laia about what happened. It makes sense for them, but not for the others.
Leah comes from time to time at your house with a coffee for you and a hot chocolate for Sebastian for breakfast. You like those moments together and after several moment of shyness, Sebastian is now really at ease with the blonde.
“He looks so much like you” Leah points one morning while you are sitting to drink your coffee while Sebastian is playing on the ground with his little cars, his bump almost impossible to see now.
“Well, I hope so, after all the hours I worked for him to go out of me” you roll your eyes.
Leah imitates you before answering.
“Of course, he looks like you. But he has the same eyes color, the same mimic too. The only thing changing is that he doesn’t have your Spanish accent while talking English.”
“What?! I don’t have an accent anymore” your frown deeply.
“Of course you have” Leah laughs.
You keep frowning. You are living in London since almost seven years, you are pretty sure that you haven’t any accent anymore.
“Don’t make that face” Leah still laughs. “It’s kind of cute and hot honestly.”
You raise your eyebrow while looking at her. Does Leah just say you are hot? You can’t say anything else though, because Sebastian is coming to you with a frown and one of his cars in one hand, a wheel in another. You look at him wordlessly handing it to Leah, who puts it back without hesitation.
Others changes came in your relationship with Leah. Your favorites people to cuddle have been Lia and Beth, before Alessia and Kyra came to Arsenal. Leah seems surprised when you put your legs on hers for the first time during a team bonding while you were sitting on a couch, but you didn’t really think about it. You just did what you wanted without thinking.
Thanks god, Leah’s rigidity faded as quick as she came. Since that day she’s the one initiating hug from time to time.
And she takes the habits not to prevent you when she comes to your house for breakfast or in another moment of the day. She usually doesn’t come at evening because she knows that Sebastian might be sleeping.
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It was another day like the other when Leah comes to your house with her bag of pastries and your hot drinks. She rings the bell like every time but she’s not facing you when the door is open. She’s facing a man around your age, looking at her with the same surprise as she is.
“Who are you?” he asks, and Leah arch her eyebrow.
“Who are you?” she snaps back.
She doesn’t like the way he’s standing on your apartment like he owns it. She read to many news items and watched to many dark television reports about men killing women.
But she doesn’t have the time to get scared a little longer, because there is suddenly a sweet, happy voice that she knows very well.
“Leah!”
Sebastian is running from the living room for Leah, jumping on her knees. Leah takes him in her arms and hug him, before looking again at the man.
“Where’s Y/N?”
“Mamá is in the bathroom” Sebastian says happily, looking in the bakery bag with appetite. “Did you buy me Mince pies?”
“Sur, Buddy.”
With his pastry in her hand, Sebastian runs back inside the apartment to sit at the dining table. Leah follows him and was starting to get really annoyed by the other man in the room just when you arrive.
“Leah! Hi.”
She smiles at you and let you kiss her cheek with a side hug. You then put your attention on your son and his pastry, obvious of the tension in the room.
“So, you met Jeff?” you ask, cleaning Sebastian’s cheeks.
“Not really” Leah mumbles, sitting next to Sebastian.
You only raise now your gaze to realize that Leah and Jeff are actually looking at each other from the corner of their eyes with almost hostility.
“Jeff is Sebastian’s dad. He came for the weekend to pass time with Sebastian” you explain.
“’e ‘o ‘o o’ie” Sebastian says, mouth full of food.
“Try after chewing your food Cariño” you roll your eyes at him playfully.
“We’re going to watch a movie and then watch Mamá and you play” he pips up with happiness.
“That sounds good Bud’.”
Leah smiles but you can say that it’s not a real smile. Jeff finally sits next to you, and you manage to entertain a conversation between the four of you, very helped by Sebastian. Around ten, Jeff and Sebastian both left to the cinema, and you hug him tight and verify his bag before letting him leave with his dad.
“I’ll keep you update about our day” Jeff says, kissing your cheek goodbye. “See you, Leah.”
Leah grumbles something back and you don’t lose a second to have a real and long look at her once the door is closed.
“What?” Leah moody ask.
“You tell me. What’s happening to you?”
“Nothing” she shrugs.
You hum in answer, not trusting her for a single second. But you don’t want to push too much. You offer her another tea before cleaning the kitchen and making your bag for the game. Leah’s here so she will drive you to the stadium.
“Where is he staying? During the weekend?”
“In the guestroom, why?”
“He’s sleeping at your house?!”
“…Yeah?”
Leah doesn’t answer. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the way he kissed your cheek like you’re still his, even if you never have really been. She doesn’t like him around you, sleeping in the same house as you are.
“Leah what’s happening?”
You are lost. Leah seems angry but you don’t understand why. She doesn’t answer once again, only looking at you when you put your hand on her arm. You can see torment in her eyes, but you still don’t understand why.
“You know he still fancy you, right?”
“What?” you laugh softly.
But you realize quickly that Leah isn’t joking. The way she looks at you make you feel something funny in your stomach. It’s intense.
“It’s nothing like that between us. We are friend for Sebastian, nothing more. Nothing happened since the night Sebastian was conceived” you say with a comforting voice.
Leah hums once again, her brows still frowning. You erase them with a tentative finger, trying to read her eyes.
“Why are you asking that, Le?”
“Nothing, he was just acting like you’re together or at least like he lives here too.”
“Well he’s not. You or Mario and Laia are here way more often than him.”
Leah still seems moody when you left to take her car to go to training, but at least she’s talking to you and not sulking.
“I was wondering” Leah starts after you chose a music to listen during the trip “What’s your type? I mean it’s obviously tattooed, blond and disgusting bodybuilder for the men, but what about women?”
“He’s not a bodybuilder Leah” you laugh while rolling your eyes. “And for women, you saw my ex-girlfriend, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but Gio has brown eyes and hair. And I totally saw you with a blond before.”
She’s right. You bite your lips softly while trying to find the best way to explain how you “choose” your crushes.
“It’s not a physical preference with women. It’s more… The charism, you know? It can be someone with blond hair and clear eyes, or a brunette. It doesn’t really matter.”
“I see” Leah answer thoughtfully, before smiling. “Who was your first celebrity crush?”
“Dianna Agron” you answer without any hesitation.
How much you are sure about it makes Leah laugh, and you can’t help but smirk back. You were kind of obsessed with her in Glee, I mean have you seen that girl? It would probably be strange not to be, in your humble opinion. You don’t have time to ask Leah’s, because the blonde is parking the car in the stadium. You maybe will be able to ask her the question back after the game.
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You don’t let your son coming a lot to the games, there is really less spectators than for the men’s games and you don’t want him to be exposed to someone from the staff or something. But you can’t always say no to him when he begs you to come. Today Jeff is here, so it can easily pass for a dad-son moment to anyone.
You discreetly great him with a wave during your training, internally rolling your eyes when you see him with a bucket of chicken nuggets and some chips, even if it’s like three in the evening. But after that you are focused on your training, you are on the starting eleven today and you have to be more ready than ever.
The game was hard, but it went pretty great. Leah and you managed to block almost all the shoots took by the other team and when they passed, your goalkeeper stopped the ball every time. Caitlin and Mariona scored today, with Alessia being rested. Jonas informed you that you will be sub off around the seventy minutes during the half-time and you just nod softly. You are sad not to play every minute of the game while your son is here, but he knows now that you are sub to be rested to be able to play better the other games.
You knew that at the next stop during the game you will be switch, so you decide to play as best as possible when you see that a ball is coming across the field, for a header from an opponent. You jump to try to take it first, but your head is soon hits by something very strong who made you groan in pain. You fall on the ground without being able to stop your fall, pain radiating in your head.
You are not aware of the opposite player lying somewhere close to you, in pain too. You hear the footstep of the other players around you and you open your eyes just to see Lotte’s short crouch next to you.
“Do you hear me?” Lotte says.
There are other hands on you, stabilizing you on your side. You groan in answer to Lotte, who let a breath of relief.
The pain is awful, but you know that somewhere in the crowd there is your son who is probably mad concerned. You don’t want him to see you like this. Mariona has been subbed for Chloe some minutes before so she’s not on the pitch anymore. There is just one person who can help you now.
“Leah” you whisper.
You can’t hear yourself, so you are really surprised when you hear her answer, from behind you.
“I need to get up” you mumble, rolling slowly on your back.
“It’s not a good idea” one of the medical team answers.
Opening your eyes is painful, thank God there isn’t any sun but only grey sky under you. Leah’s frame block a little of the light, which is good too. You look for her eyes before talking again.
“I need to get up. I can’t worry…”
You don’t finish your sentence, but you see that Leah understands quickly. Her eyes went just for a second where Sebastian is seated with her dad before nodding.
“I’ll help you” she says, frowning. “It’s ok, you have to take her inside, she was going to get sub off anyway”
With Leah and Lia’s help, you managed to get up and went straight to the infirmary. Laia and Mariona came with you, sitting quietly with you while you are being checked by the team.
“Do you want me to go take your things? You can maybe write to Jeff like this?” Laia proposed in Spanish.
“Yes please” you whisper back.
She pats your hand when she sees you wince because of the pain before getting up to close discreetly the door between her. Mariona holds your other hand during all the time and when Laia came back with your phone, you had to ask her to write to Jeff for you.
You both decide that you will meet at your flat after the game, you don’t know if you have a concussion for now, but it’s still better for your son. Jeff says to you that he wasn’t really happy with this thing, but that he will manage to busy his mind. You know he will.
Several minutes later, there are knocks on the door and you mumble a vague “Come in”. Leah comes inside almost hesitantly.
“How are you?” she asks, standing awkwardly next to the door.
“Tired. I have a concussion but other than that I’m ok” you answer to her.
She nods softly and you close your eyes again, looking to have a little of relief for your head. You don’t see Laia and Mariona exchanging a look before the Mallorcan talks to you again.
“We are going to get a shower. Do you need a lift to go home?”
“I can take her home” Leah interjects. “If you’re ok with that, of course.”
“Yeah” you answer only.
Mariona hums while Laia kisses your cheek.
“Call me if you need anything yes?”
“I will Mario, don’t worry”
You snap her hand when she pinches your cheek, making her laugh. You can’t help but smile back, sitting a little more when they are gone. This time Leah comes closer to you, and you can see in her eyes how worry she is.
“I’m fine” you assure her.
She groans in answer, and you almost roll your eyes again but stop the move before it’s too late. The medical staff comes right after, with a paper with the medication you will need for your recovery.
“You can’t be alone at home. Do you have someone to look after you?”
You frown softly, Sebastian can obviously not take this role. And you will need someone to take a look at him probably.
“My… A friend is at home for now. He’s supposed to stay until tomorrow late afternoon” you assure.
“No way” Leah snorts. “I will stay at your home to take care of you.”
There is now way in Leah’s mind that Jeff takes this opportunity to come closer of you in any way. You accept her offer (even if you don’t really have the choice) and with that you are walking to Leah’s car. Well, it’s more like Leah is carrying you and both of your bags.
Like you were imagining, Sebastian is still up when you come home, still wearing his Arsenal kit and looking by the windows to see you come in. He jumps in your legs when you arrive inside, and you take all your strength and concentration to take him in your arms.
“Hi buddy. Did you enjoy the game?” you ask while Leah ruffle his hair.
“Mama hurt” he mumbles, hiding his face in your neck.
“Yes, but I’m alright, ok? Have you eaten something?”
“Nothing since his fries at the stadium” Jeff intervenes. “I wanted to see if you want to eat with us before starting to cook something”
“I’m not really hungry” you shrug.
“The doctor said that you have to eat, Y/N” Leah remembers you.
You sigh softly and look at Sebastian for several seconds. He need a bath and you definitively need a shower too. Then you can all eat together before heading all in bed, that should be something possible to do, right?
“Leah, would you like to help Sebastien with his bath while I’m taking a shower? So Jeff you can cook us something, honestly just pasta with one pot of salsa I have in the cupboard would be great.”
You will see tomorrow for vegetables for your son. Sebastian seems happy to learn that Leah will give him his bath, but you see Jeff frown softly behind her.
“Is Leah staying for diner?”
“Mh in fact, Leah is staying for several day to have a look at me” you shrug.
Sebastian takes your hand to drag you to the bathrooms, so you miss the rejected look of Jeff and the happy smirk that Leah addresses him. You probably would have rolled your eyes, which is still a very bad idea.
Thirty minutes later, Sebastian is finishing his second plate while you struggle to eat more than five pastas. You can see Leah’s concerned gaze, but you start to get really tired, and you would kill to be able to go to sleep right now.
“You should go to sleep” Leah frown while looking at you.
“But Sebastian…”
“I can put him to bed” Jeff says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
Leah proposed to wash the dishes, so you just say goodnight to your son before going to your bedroom. You change for a pajama and go to a quick toilette before going back to your room and your bed.
You recognize Leah’s path in front of your room when you realize that you are the worst host ever.
“Leah” you whisper-shout.
You can’t help but smile when she passes her head through your door.
“I’m sorry I just realize that you don’t have anything to sleep in” you bite your lips. “You can take something from my stuff”
“Thanks” Leah just answer, turning to your furniture to take some short and t-shirt.
“Also, I hope you were not expecting to sleep on the couch, are you?”
Leah froze before turning in your direction, looking a little lost. Even with your brain being a new kind of jell-o, you can only notice how cute she looks.
“I did. Why?”
“Sebastian might wake up this night and maybe Jeff will take him there. If you don’t mind, you can sleep with me?”
“Oh.”
Oh? You arch an eyebrow at her reaction. It’s almost hurtful to be honest, but Leah seems quickly to find a way to recompose herself.
“Well like this I can have a real look at you”
“If you say so” you grumble, before turning your back at her and closing your eyes.
You don’t see Leah’s affectionate smile when she looks at you before she changes her clothes for yours and went to the bathroom. She wasn’t expecting you to ask her to sleep with you when your ex is around. She smirks when she thinks that she beats him there and he probably will get mad about it.
When she joins you in the room again, you weren’t far from sleeping but you still have a pout on your face. Leah lays down next to you and have to put an hand on your hips to kiss your cheek because you still have your back turning to her.
“Sleep well Princess Spain” she smiles.
How can you not smile at that? You do smile, softly.
“Night, Lee.”
“Wake me up if you need something yeah?”
She kisses your cheek again and you hum, moving a little for your back to be press against her. She lets you, even passing her arm around you. You fall asleep very quickly like this.
Like the doctor’s recommendation, Leah wakes you up every three hours just to be sure that you still have all your head working correctly. It’s only when you menace her to make her sleep in Sebastian cradle that she stops.
The next morning, when you wake up, Leah isn’t next to you anymore. You are a little lost, your head is pounding awfully, and you grab you look at your phone to know what time it is. It was before realizing that Leah hides it because you are not supposed to look at screens for now.
You were about to get up when the door of your room is open, just for Leah to be entering.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were up” she says.
“Not for long” you mumble. “Where’s Sebastian? What time is it?”
“Your ex took him to have breakfast somewhere and go to a playground, the weather is nice” Leah explains. “How’s your head?”
“Hurt”
She smiles with sympathy and give you some pills and a bottle of water. You probably haven’t saw her so careful with someone when she helps you to sit, unless with Sebastian maybe. She lets you take your medicine before pressing her hand on your forehead.
“You don’t have fever. Are you feeling dizzy?”
“A little” you admit.
“You should probably eat something. What do you want?”
“Just bring me some of cereals who are at Sebastian” you shrug.
But Leah frowns softly.
“You need a real breakfast”
“You don’t know how to cook” you point with a small smirk.
But you just challenged Leah who snorts and gets up from your bed, answering something like “Try me” before leaving the room. You don’t see her for twenty minutes, time you used to get fresh and change your clothes.
You look at the tray she brings you. Fresh press orange juice, some fruits and grilled toast with butter. You realize that some of toasts are plain and when Leah comes back in bed with you, you understand that she will eat with you.
“I’ve read that you guys are eating bread with tomato in the morning. Sorry but I don’t know how to do that” she says while putting the orange juice in your hands.
“Have you typed What Spanish people eat for breakfast? on Google?”
You just wanted to tease her, but when you realize that her cheeks are suddenly a little pink, you can’t help but laugh. Leah doesn’t seem to take it bad though.
“No. More like How to feed a beautiful Spanish girl in the morning”
“Flattery will get you everywhere”
She just smiles, probably wanting to let you enjoy your breakfast. You are not really hungry to be honest, but you know you need to eat something. Leah seems to enjoy the strawberries, so you lot them to her, eating slowly your toasts. From the outside you probably look like a couple, and you can’t explain why you like that idea so much. You raise your eyes on Leah who smiles at you, and you smile back, trying to ignore the strange feeling she cause in your belly.
It isn’t new, honestly. You don’t know when it started, but it’s not the first time. You already felt your heartbeat go faster when she hugs you or kiss your cheek. Trickle on your skin where she touched you. You are a casual cuddly and touchy person, and you might have taken advantage of it to be closer to Leah.
She doesn’t comment your lack of talking, probably putting it on your concussion. You are feeling pretty great for someone who has one, but probably because it’s a light one.
“Do you need anything else?” Leah asks when you’re finished.
“Cuddles?”
She smiles and get on her back, and you don’t waist a second to almost straddle her, your head on her shoulder, one of your legs between hers and your hand stroking her arm. To be honest, you are almost entirely lying on her.
“Thanks for taking care of me” you whisper, your eyes lost somewhere facing you.
“I wouldn’t have let anyone else take care of you.”
His fingers going up and down your spine would be enough not to make you realize what her words can mean. But your foggy brain seems to be able to do it anyway.
“Why?” you ask.
“Because I care for you, Missy”
She boop your nose with her finger. She could have put teasing in her voice, but there isn’t. She seems a little breathless, which is very strange for someone just lying in a bed. It feels like it’s time for some confessions, so you decide to push your luck a little more.
“Lee?” you continue when she hums. “Why did you hate me?”
“I didn’t hate you”
Her answer seems genuine, but you know that it’s not true. You groan when you roll your eyes, remembering too late that it’s better for you not to do it.
“You did, Leah. We reached a point where we never even say hello to each other. And I felt like even me breathing was annoying you.”
Leah’s lips stretch to a small smile. It was true, but she never hated you anyway. She just needs a way to explain to you without looking like crazy. You were waiting patiently for her answer, you never really understood Leah’s behavior with you.
“I just… Felt like you were turning yourself to anyone but me. You never really talked to me about what you were living with the RFEF, but you did with Viv, Lia or Katie. You weren’t touchy with me like you were with Beth or almost everyone around. Sur we were laughing together but I felt like you never considered me for me. Then Gio came and you were always together, ignoring the rest of the world.”
You frown hearing her confessions. You need some seconds to process all of this information and it’s not because of your concussions this time.
“Gio and I were always together because we were together” you point.
“I know!”
You hear her sights of frustration and feel her moving under you when she passes her hand in her hair. Her stroking in your arm has stopped and you miss them already. You don’t add anything for now, feeling like there is something else to come.
“Then you got your injury and you decided to go to Spain, like if we weren’t enough here. And I have to learn all the shit you got through your damn federation like the public, with your petition and then you finally came back to the team. But I still didn’t know why.”
Even if you don’t know if there is a place more comfortable than Leah’s arms, you push yourself to sit anyway and have a better look at her. She’s still frowning, of course she is. You let your eyes take a look at her face, her eyes, before answering something. You don’t know what you could answer to all that, to be honest. Maybe it’ll better to start from the start.
“I never was touchy with you because I didn’t know how you will react. I know it’s different from Spain, Beth has always been extravagant so I knew she wouldn’t mind. I felt like touched depraved honestly, not in the sexual way but I missed hug and just display of affection” you shrug, playing with a piece of bedsheet.
You can feel Leah’s gaze on you, but you are lost in your thoughts and says, looking only at the bedsheet you are playing with.
“For Gio, we had a good time together but if I knew she will break up with me as soon as she wasn’t here anymore, I wouldn’t have lost time with her. She’s nice, but I was looking for something serious, not just a fling to pass time, you know?”
Leah nods softly.
“When I heard about your breakup I wanted to come to you, but I didn’t know how to approach you anymore. And then Jonas announced us that you hurt yourself during a private practice and that you went back to Spain for recovery.”
You nod softly too, biting your lips softly.
“I didn’t want to talk to you about my pregnancy because we had all of those injuries. I was pregnant because of a one nightstand which wasn’t really clever of me. I didn’t have the courage to be judged by someone. And in Spain I had my parents, even if I had the right of a lecture first.”
Leah puts softly her hand on yours, making you look at her for the first time since you started talking. Her eyes are way softer that what you were expecting.
“I understand. I can’t speak for anyone, but I probably won’t have judge you. I’m not gonna lie though, given our tensed relationship, I don’t think I’ll be helpful with you.”
You smile softly, before shrugging. You still have the part with the RFEF to talk about, which you don’t really like. You are not fond of your new coach to be honest, but at least it’s a little better.
“And for the national team, like other I tried to stand up against them while signing that paper with the other girls. They tried to make us comes back for World Cup, making promises and everything. I called Alexia about it and she explained to me that if we don’t come back, they will call younger players. And I couldn’t let younger girls having to deal with all this shit. Ale managed to convince Ona, Mariona, Aitana and myself to come back. We fight to win, hopping that after being World Champions people will hear us more”
You frown too, not far from Leah’s habits. You hate what happened after the World Cup, all this fuss with the former president and Vilda.
“But people keep calling us traitor and were laughing about what happened to Jenni. Then we made this petition attesting that we won’t come back until the RFEF change, like our coach. They changed the coach but then we got forced to come back, they threatened to take away our professional player licenses if we didn’t come back.”
You shrug, still looking at Leah. She’s silenced for now, but you can see all things getting together in her eyes.
“So, I came back because I didn’t have the choice. We talked a lot, sometimes until like three in the morning, and things aren’t great honestly, but it gets better”
“That’s a lot to process” Leah says slowly.
“Yeah. And I had a baby who couldn’t sleep at night during that time” you add with a smirk.
Leah smiles back, her face getting softer when you mention Sebastian. You can’t miss the bond existing between the two, Sebastian adores Leah, and you are pretty sure that Leah likes him a lot back.
“It was hard, but I never had a single regret about my pregnancy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“He’s a sweet boy” Leah confirms.
You watch her scratch her forehead before putting a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She still seems thoughtful. You look at her while tilting your head, wondering what is still in her mind.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.
“What would have been different if I was there for you instead of sulking stupidly.”
You shrug before biting your lips softly.
“Can I do one more confidence?”
“Of course.”
Leah sits in the bed too, her back against the bed.
“I had like the biggest crush on you on the first day at Arsenal.”
There is a blank before Leah laughs softly.
“You’re joking?”
“No”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She seems almost outraged by that information but arch an eyebrow before answering.
“You had a girlfriend, Leah. And I’m pretty sure that neither of you would have been interested in a threesome.”
You laugh at Leah’s awkwardness and the grimace she makes soon after. But now that everything was spilled out, you feel a little better to be honest. Lighter. There is no more secrets between you. Or almost, because you still have that crush for her anyway.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you during those times” Leah says, softly stroking your hand now.
“It’s ok. I wasn’t here for you neither when you had your ACL and your breakup.”
Leah shrugs one more time and at this rate she will have done her shoulder-training exercises for the day.
“Plus, you are here now.”
“I am.”
She smiles this time and it’s hard not to have a crush for her when she smiles like this. Leah is a beautiful woman; you must have sore eyes if you don’t realize it. You found her beautiful even when you were at loggerheads, but now that you find back the personality you loved before, it’s even better.
“Would you like to-“ “I was wondering if-“
You talked at the same time, just to shut up at the same time too. You smile at her and she’s smiling too, but this time you are the first to talk.
“Sorry, go on.”
“I was wondering” Leah starts slowly “If you would go out with me one night?"
“Like, for a date?”
“Yeah?”
You really hope that it’s really happening and that you are not dreaming or something. You bite your lips softly before answering.
“I would love to.”
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“Are you sure you will be ok?” you ask Mariona in Spanish for the hundredth time.
The usually calm and composed Spaniard sights and throw one of Sebastian’s toys at your head, the poor duck falling on the ground with a “quack”.
“Y/N I swear to God that if you are not leaving now, I will kick you out of your own house. Go get ready.”
You grumble something under your breath, roll your eyes when Mario shouts, “I heard you” and leave for the bathroom. You are already dressed, but you need to do your hair. Tonight is the night where Leah takes you out and you are more stressed than ever.
Mariona accepted to play the babysitter for Sebastian, and she will be sleeping in the guestroom if you are coming home late. You are not the kind of mom who lets you kid to go out usually, when you are not with him it’s because you are at training or at a game. It’s during the week so you were a little reluctant to ask the teen who usually babysit Sebastian.
When you confessed to Mariona and Laia they proposed to come, Laia hasn’t been able to come, but Lia must come soon to help Mariona. Which you find very cute and teased Mariona about. It’s only when she starts to tease you back about Leah that you stopped.
You are just finished to prepare yourself when the doorbell rings and you hear Sebastian’s footsteps running to the door.
“Leah!” he shouts happily.
You frown when you hear him call Leah a second time, but when you go to the living room you understand that it was in fact Lia who he was calling.
“Pwetty” he points you when he spots you coming in the room.
“Gracias mi Amor” you say, kissing his cheek.
“He’s right” Lia says when you great her with a hug. “Maybe I’ll change my Spaniard”
You blush, Leah glares at Lia and Mariona snorts. You then turn to Sebastian to tell him the last recommendations, like eat all his vegetables and to behave with Lia and Mariona. You finally get out of your house before Mariona does, turning in Leah’s direction with a slight strange nervousness.
“So… Where are we going?” you ask, playing with your fingers.
“You’ll see when we will be there” Leah smiles.
She puts a hand in your back to drive you to her car, which she starts as soon as you are both sitting inside. You smile when you hear Taylor Swift singing in the background and hums the melody. You are glad to realize that the conversation between both of you is still easy when Leah asks you a random question and it starts a small talk very appreciated.
You can help but look at Leah from the corner of your eyes, appreciating the way she is dress. Everything is perfect for her, but she’s really beautiful tonight. In fact, you say it to her when you are seated in the table of the new Italian restaurant Leah reserved, suggested by Alessia.
“You’re beautiful, by the way.”
“Thanks” she smiles casually. “I’ll say you are too, but Lia got ahead of me already.”
“She said I’m pretty” you smirk.
Leah laughs softly and you feel your stomach make a special squeeze. She seems so relaxed and when you remember how were things between you two months ago, it seems pretty unbelievable.
“You are beautiful” she says, looking at you right in your eyes.
Cursed be she and her incredible blue eyes. You are saved from fainting by the waitress who came with the menus. You chose to drink a little of wine, it’s not every day that you get out after all.
“It’s the first time I have a date since Sebastian is born” you confess like it was nothing, your eyes still fixed on the menu.
“Really?”
Leah seems genuinely surprised and you arch an eyebrow while looking at her.
“A pregnant woman or a woman with a baby then a toddler aren’t exactly what people are looking for” you shrug.
“Mh. Well, lucky me.”
She smirks and you smile back, trying to ignore the red creeping on your cheek. You like cocky Leah, you always had. You didn’t like when she was harsh and almost mean to you though, but it was time to forget about this moment. You are really happy to have another relationship with her now, even if it seems to be the start of something new.
The night went great, the food was delicious and the company amazing. You and Leah exchanged several longs looks when there is a blank in your conversation. But everything seems so fluid and you love it. You love the subtle flirt from Leah too. She makes you feel special, which you didn’t feel since a long time.
After sharing a dessert, it was time to going home. You don’t hesitate to accept when Leah proposes you a last drink at her house. Mariona informed you two hours ago that Sebastian is dead asleep after having his bath and eating her plate full of spaghetti.
Leah puts something on TV and you both sit on the couch just to ignore it. You are resisting to the urge to kiss her since you left the restaurant, but it’s becoming harder and harder every minute.
Leah was rambling about a random story about her mother’s dog when you finally crack. You just lean in without even taking the time to prevent her, your hand on her hips while you press your lips against Leah’s. She stays still and when you retreat yourself, she’s looking at you with wide eyes. Ok, maybe you read her behavior wrong.
You feel so ashamed that you would rather being struck by lightning right now.
“Madre mia Leah, I’m so sorry. I thought – “
But Leah doesn’t let you the time to add something else. She grabs your face with her both hands and drags you against her to kiss you. You are surprised, maybe less than Leah when you first kiss her, but you kiss her back and you definitely never feel something like that before.
Leah knows how to kiss, and you work on yourself not to jump on her. You follow the move when Leah lays down on the couch, your lips never detached from hers for a long time.  
“I wanted you to make the first move” Leah admits later, when you are cuddling on her couch. “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure”
You just hum and given Leah never refuse you a kiss since the first, you raise yourself to put a peck on her lips.
“Do you want to have the big talk now? About how we see our relationship, or do you want to wait?” the blonde asks you after that.
You frown softly, a little bit surprise by that question. You might have some random hookups at one point, but after your reciprocal confessions and tonight, for you it was more than obvious that you want something serious with her. So you may as well get it clear now.
“I am looking for something serious, I’m not going to lie. I have a toddler and I’m not interested in wasting my time, especially with you because I like you a lot.”
“Work for me baby” Leah smirks, before becoming more serious. “Another thing.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t share” she frowns.
“Okay?”
You don’t understand what she wants to say with it. I mean of course you understand what she means, but not in this situation. You are not really interested to have an open relationship.
“I’m not going to ask you to stop your arrangement with Jeff because it seems working for the three of you now, but it’s not because he’s sleeping at your house that he can say a word in your life or our relationship. And since now he better has his eyes in his pocket.”
You roll your eyes with a little smile. In your eyes, Leah is making a little too much with this story. You are sure that your ex doesn’t have a single interest in you, so you are not lying when you answer to Leah.
“There is nothing between Jeff and me, Lee.”
“For you maybe. We’ll see how he’ll react when you’ll tell him about you and I. But stop about him” she decides soon after.
You were going to ask her if there is another topic that she wanted to talk about, but it was before she shows you what she has in mind by kissing you once again. You don’t complain though, you could probably spend hours kissing her without being tired of it. Everything in Leah is intoxicating, in the right way.
“Is it time for me to get you home?”
It is, but you don’t want to. You agree nevertheless, unable to hold a pout at the thought of separating yourself from Leah, even for some hours. But it’s better this way, even if Lia and Mariona are sleeping in the guestroom, you’d rather to be there when Sebastian gets up.
Leah grabs your hand to takes you to her car and takes it again when you are going to your door.
“I had a perfect night. Thanks” you say when you turn in her direction, passing your arms around her shoulders.
“I have a perfect night too. I can’t wait for the next one”
Her lips stroke yours while she talks, and you can’t help but smile softly.
“Who says it will be another one? Maybe you’ll have to bribe me?”
“Can’t wait” she smirks cockily.
You laugh softly and exchanged another kiss before you have to let her go. She kisses your cheek softly and you enjoy a last time her smell before looking at her going back to her car.
“Text me when you are home?”
“I will. Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night.”
There is only the light in the living room who is still on when you enter the house. Everything is perfectly tidy, way more than when you clean yourself after Sebastian falls asleep. You smile when you see the drawing Sebastian made for you, in evidence on the table in the kitchen.
You pass in your Son’s bedroom to kiss him before going in your bathroom to change for your pajama and prepare you to go to bed. When you are ready, you happily find your bed, looking at your phone just to see that Leah messaged you several minutes ago.
Leah 🌹 I’m home, Lovely. Can’t wait to see you again 😊❤️
You Have a good night too 😊 see you tomorrow?
Leah 🌹 Sure, I wouldn’t want to deprive Sebastian of his morning pastry  🙃
You Seeing you makes him happy too you know, with or without pastry He probably gets it from his Mama 😉
Leah 🌹 Stop and go to sleep, you little flirt 😂
You 😇 Sleep tight ❤️
Leah 🌹 Sleep tight. See you tomorrow ❤️
482 notes · View notes
webslingingslasher · 2 years ago
Note
Could you write something kinda similar to what you wrote before? Like with insecure reader but it's like the opposite, maybe her not being intimate with Peter yet because guys usually dump her after they hook up with her?
iiiiiii, dunno about this one :(
It’s not like you're a virgin. 
If you were, it would make sense to be a little scared. Or maybe it was anxiety. 
However, Peter Parker was a good guy. He held your hand like it was his job, called when he said he would, he’s close to all your friends, even adapting some to his own group. He asked to kiss you the first time he did, not expecting it but hoping. He always paid for your dates, even when you try to strong arm him into not doing it. 
Peter was a good guy. A really, really good guy. 
So why do you hurt him time and time again when he tries to take it to another step?
You could see the confusion filtering through, he used to be good at hiding it but more and more the poker face is fading and you can read the real emotion. 
If you have sex with him, you could lose him. 
If you don’t have sex with him, you could lose him.  
You were set to lose no matter what. 
It was getting harder to say no, this time you had to force yourself to pull away and gasp for air. 
“Um- movie?” 
Peter closes his eyes against the pillow, he’s fighting the tightness in his jeans poorly. 
“Yeah, sure.” 
Making out with Peter is really, really fun. Everything about Peter was fun, that’s why you don’t want to lose him. 
You don’t want to look back, he’s laying down and you’re sitting up trying to find a movie to hide the truth behind. 
Peter’s had enough on his end. 
“Uh, baby?” 
“Yes?” Don’t look back. 
He knows you’re not a virgin. 
“Can we talk?” 
“About?” You search for a movie harder. Don’t look back. 
Peter pauses, he’s not sure how to word it. 
“Do you… Are you… Is…” Frustrated, he huffs, “what would the next step in our relationship be?” He needs to know, do you both have different versions of the next step? He thought sex would be a no brainer, but it seems like you don’t want to do it with him. 
Sex. 
Sex would be the next step, you know that and so does he. But if you say it will he expect it? 
Don’t look back.
A nonchalant shrug, “sex, I guess.” 
He’s tired of looking at the back of your head.
“Can you look at me, please?” 
No. 
“Yeah,” you turn. 
Peter looks soft, almost sad. He’s always thought you were good at reading each other, he doesn’t know what you’re thinking. 
“Are we on different pages?” 
Your head tilts, “what do you mean?” 
His turn to sit up, “I’m ready to have sex and I thought you were too. But it feels like you always worm your way out of it, and that’s fine cause if you’re not ready then I’m not either.” 
Either, either, either. 
He’s in this with you. 
“Every time I’ve had sex they always leave after. I don’t want you to leave.” 
Peter rolls his eyes, “babe, I’ve got like, thirty shirts in your closet. I’m not going anywhere, and if never having sex is my only way to prove it, I’ll do it.” 
You raise your eyebrows, “really, you could go without sex forever?” 
He shrugs, “eh, I mean, I really like you, and sex is fun but you can’t miss what you don’t have. I don’t know what it would be like to have sex with you, but I know how much it feels to miss you.” 
Is this how love is supposed to feel? 
It’s getting really hard saying no, and if he says it, he means it. You’ve learned that by now. 
You check your phone, if he’s still here in the morning then he’s your forever. 
“Well, I also don’t know what sex feels like with you.” 
You move in closer, “but, I’d like to find out.” 
Peter’s eyes lit up, it’s not about getting to bone you, it’s about the trust you have for him. Even you can read his look that well. He leans in to kiss you, his words whispered against your lips. 
“I’ll make breakfast.” 
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lucy90712 · 6 months ago
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kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him
A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up
Do it. Just do it. 
I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.
How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 
It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 
Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 
~~~~~~~~~~
It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 
Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 
No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 
"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 
"Yeah I'm fine" I said 
"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 
"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 
None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 
Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 
“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 
Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 
“What is this?” He asked 
“I’m pregnant” I said 
“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 
“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 
“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 
“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 
“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 
“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 
“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 
“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 
Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 
After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 
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acidinduceddaydreams · 7 months ago
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First Real Love with Skz
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Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them
Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.
Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.
a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼
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Chan:
He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.
Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.
He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.
Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.
Minho:
Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.
Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.
The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”
Changbin:
Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.
Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.
Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.
Hyunjin:
He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!
He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.
Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.
Jisung:
He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.
Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.
He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.
Felix:
Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.
So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”
You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.
Seungmin:
He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.
On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.
Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.
Jeongin:
This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.
He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.
He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.
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cinnajun · 1 year ago
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: cuddling with zb1
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a/n: anon this is such a good request thank you also it’s so hard to describe like how people work
notes: yujin is not included due to his age!
wc | 2.1k
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jiwoong
big strong warm man
what i mean is jiwoong is the perfect surface to lay on
i think he’s the type of guy to enjoy cuddling but he also doesn’t like need to be cuddling you at all times during your downtime
like it’s not a need yk
and he won’t ask to cuddle (so if you want to and he’s not thinking about it you’re gonna have to ask)
but he’s the type of guy to like … yawn as an excuse to put his arm around you LOL
jiwoong’s ideal cuddling spot is on the couch while you watch tv/a movie
he appreciates it when you lay on him. you’re like his personal and unique weighted blanket
he’ll be sprawled out on the couch and you’ll be on top of him, head on his chest
he will put his arms around your waist and will intermittently poke your sides like he’s checking to make sure you’re real
if you lay there for too long he will kick you off when he feels his arms starting to go numb lol
at night, i don’t think he’s the guy to full on cuddle
i think maybe he’ll put an arm on your waist but that’s it
he doesn’t like your icicle hands jolting him awake at 3 am LOL
if he’s sick he will attach himself to you though … he will also apologize for making you sick afterwards
cuddle rating: 8/10, minus two points for always making you ask
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zhang hao
hao is a princess and he likes to sit on your lap
i won’t let anybody tell me otherwise he will actively just sit on you
doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you are he will just sit on you
it’s kinda like the opposite of jiwoong … hao loves to lay on you except he’s (most likely) taller than you so it’s awkward
sometimes you’ll be napping and he’ll scare you awake by literally collapsing on you
he likes cuddles a lot though so that’s not all he’s doing
i said this in another set of hcs i did but i think hao likes being the little spoon
again he’s a princess
but also i think he just likes the feeling? like he feels comforted in your embrace so he wants you to just hug him all the time
he also strikes me as the type of person who gets cold easily so it warms him up too
on rare occasions, he will be the big spoon but it’s usually when you’re feeling bad and it’s making him sad
hao’s ideal cuddling spot is anywhere but he does like the bed a bit more
cuddling with him is also very quiet and relaxing
there are a lot of kisses on the cheek, forehead, pretty much everywhere
overall very soft and fun time !! it’s very intimate and cute
cuddle rating: 9/10, minus 1 point for him telling you to suck it up when your legs go numb from him sitting on you for so long
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hanbin
hanbin is sooo clingy
has to have a hand on you at all times so cuddling is regular
like hao, he will cuddle up to you anywhere at any time, it doesn’t matter if you’re alone or literally all of the boys are there
he’ll sit on your lap but also enjoys it when you sit on his
big spoon, little spoon, it doesn’t matter he is LOVING IT!!!
but i think hanbin prefers cuddling on the couch most
idk if anyone else thinks this but he’s so christmas-coded in my brain, so his ideal is sitting on the couch with the fireplace on and just enjoying each other’s company
he likes laying his head in your lap a lot, especially when you’re talking about your days together
because he can see every single move and every expression you make, so he can easily gauge whether you’re talking about something negative or positive
he will switch with you when you’re done talking, so your head will be on his lap as he tells you about everything you did that day
and he’ll play with your hair while he talks it’s very sweet
hanbin is also the type of guy to cuddle with you while you’re sleeping at night
he can’t sleep without you being there :( he’ll require a stuffed animal replacement when you’re gone
if i keep talking about this i’m going to collapse
cuddle rating: 13/10, plus 3 points for the way he nuzzles up to you at any moment he can
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matthew
matthew falls asleep every time you cuddle
it’s so bad
you’ll literally just be leaning on him while you sit on the couch, you’ll look up at him, and he’ll be fast asleep
as a result cuddling with matthew can be very uncomfortable because he’s just like asleep on you
i think his favorite thing to do his like … how do i explain this … i couldn’t figure it out so here’s a link to renjun and chenle doing what i'm thinking of
it’s the easiest way for him to conk out and also not cause you to get the worst cramp of your life in your leg
in the rare moments you fall asleep on him it makes him giggle so much that he wakes you up
and then he falls asleep like 3 minutes later
thanks matthew
a lot of your matthew cuddling time comes from napping with him
i could talk about napping for hours but to keep it short it’s just very sweet
matthew is big and strong man and NOT!!! cute guy so he likes to be big spoon a lot
i mean a lot
more than being a strong man i just think matthew likes holding onto things idk
like he’d be content with a huge teddy bear but he prefers you instead … you know
cuddle rating: 8/10, minus 2 points for laughing at you when you fall asleep on him and minus 1 point for falling asleep on you right after, plus one point for being the absolute cutest
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taerae
cuddling with taerae is so casual like that’s the only way i can put it
idk it’s like … you’ll be sitting on the couch holding hands
and then he’ll put an arm around you … and then you’ll put your head on his shoulder … and then his legs are on yours … and now you’re here idk
taerae also likes to sit on your lap
except it’s in the funny way where he’ll taerae sashay over and then kinda just perch himself there
arms around your neck and arms crossed
this is his excuse to be near you in front of other people … he makes it jokey so that he can then give you a kiss on the cheek and tell you how much he loves you
loser
i think when you cuddle with taerae seriously it’s mostly in bed
he takes big naps and drags you with him
you fall asleep and wake up in a human knot like 5 hours later
your leg is on top of his and he’s got an arm like laying over your face and you’ve got an arm over his waist
you feel kinda sweaty and gross too but taerae looks really cute so it’s okay
i also think taerae likes to cuddle when he’s not having the greatest day
he’ll just sit down with you and collapse on you, face in your neck and arms wrapped around your waist :(
i love taerae sooo much
cuddle rating: 8/10, minus 2 points for trapping you in a knot for an hour that one time because he wouldn’t wake up
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ricky
don’t hate me but i don’t think ricky is a big cuddler
it’s not that he doesn’t like it it’s just not his favorite thing in the whole entire world
his idea of cuddling is like holding your hand LOL
if you’re big into cuddling or your love language is physical touch he’s going to suck up his opinions and cuddle you it’s just gonna be a bit awkward
like he will weirdly put an arm over your shoulder while you lay on him
it’s like being in middle school all over again
he will literally google “how to cuddle” and ask gyuvin for pointers
you’d think cuddling was an olympic sport like just hug ur s/o bro
so i don’t really have much to say on that but i have A LOT to say when it comes to skinship
ricky is a hand-on-your-waist enthusiast
idk it just fits there so perfectly … it’s like his arm was meant to be around your waist
no matter where u go that’s where it is
i also think ricky gives shockingly good hugs? idk they’re kinda hot LOL
he does the thing where he’ll greet you by hugging you with specifically one arm … can you guys envision this like i can
big back hug guy … and he will put his head on top of yours
god SWOON ricky is so UGHHGGHGH
cuddle rating: 5/10 stop asking gyuvin for pointers // hug rating: 10/10 how can u make a hug so attractive bro (i need to write ricky brother’s best friend)
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gyuvin
HUMAN TEDDY BEAR!!!
lanky boys are meant to be cuddled i don’t make the rules
he’s just so easy to koala hug cause he’s so long
based on what we know about him i think gyuvin LOOVES to cuddle
specifically i think he likes to lay on your tummy
like you’ll be laying down normally and then he will come lay perpendicular to you so he can use ur tummy as a pillow
if you’re not lying down he will substitute for your chest, and he likes to convince himself he’s the reason your heart is beating that fast (it is beating at an absolutely average rate LMFAO)
his absolute favorite is when you put your head on his chest
it makes his heart flutter and gives him butterflies like he's a schoolgirl about to confess to her crush
you can literally hear his heart pounding when you do it
i think cuddle sessions between you and gyuvin are also gossip sessions
like he will unload every insane thing he’s heard recently onto you and expect you to do the same
when you’re gossiping he likes to lay face-to-face, and a lot of the time he will just put his hand on your face
or he will put his arm on your waist … or mess with your hair
you’ll be saying the most heinous shit about someone and he will be giggling bc he thinks you look pretty
and you do the same exact thing
when you sleep he encases you in an impossible-to-escape limb cage so good luck with that
cuddle rating: 10/10 get ready to hear exactly how that one guy in his math class cheated on his gf
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gunwook
HUMAN TEDDY BEAR AGAIN!!!
i know this man is the cuddle CHAMPION like you take one look at him and you can tell he gives warm hugs
he’s also like a space heater so he’s automatically the number 1 person to be around
tbh it could be like 30°f and you wouldn’t need a blanket you’d just need to attach yourself to gunwook
he loooves cuddles soooo much this guy just thinks it’s so cute
he teehees like a teenage girl every time you do
gunwook’s ideal cuddle is you being fast asleep with your face in his chest and your arms around his waist
mostly because he can take these really cheesy selfies of you asleep on him like bro stand UP
but also because he can scroll on his phone and have something to do while he acts as your personal heater
also appreciates laying on top of you which is sometimes difficult because he’s generally larger than you
i also think he would enjoy it when you sit in between his legs and he can like … wrap his arm around you and put his head on your shoulder … does that make sense
when gunwook is sleeping he treats you like the pillow he talked abt in that one clip … so his leg is on you and his chin is on your head etc
it’s cute
sometimes you can’t breathe tho
cuddle rating: 10/10 equal to gyuvin but unique in his own ways. go to the store and get yourself a gunwook
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thank you for reading !
tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck
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skylarsblue · 2 years ago
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✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦
Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --
Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3
-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*
-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.
-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.
-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)
Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…
-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.
-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*
-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-
(This also works with Soap & Ghost)
-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*
-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-
-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.
-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-
-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*
-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*
-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-
-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????
-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)
Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.
-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*
-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.
-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.
-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.
-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.
-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.
-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.
-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)
Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.
(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)
-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!
-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)
Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …
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bambisnc · 10 months ago
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late night conversations [ft. j.wy]
-> pt2 of this [recap] -> you’re just about to point out that you are, in fact, just a fake girlfriend but before you can wonyoung interrupts you, tilting your face towards her in a way that leaves your lips inches away from hers (and leaves you completely breathless), her tone dripping with urgency, “he’s looking. kiss me now.”
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pairing : wony x reader genre : fluffyy/crack/angstish + fake dating trope! cw/tw : kissing + super lowk suggestive + u dont have to read pt1 but u'd get a lil bg so + uneditted oohf ;-; wc : 2! pages! in google docs yayay
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“well aren’t you just the best kisser ever~” 
“jang wonyoung do you want me to cry.”
your fake girlfriend’s arm drapes itself over your shoulder, “but yn.. i’m the one who’s sad.. you know, i’d asked my girlfriend to kiss me, but she ended up biting my lip. i think i even saw a little blood…” you try to push her figure off of you, only for her to loop another under your knees and position you to sit on her lap with astonishing ease.
“or should i take it to mean that you were just that excited to kiss me, hmm~?” she’s teasing you, trying to rile you up – you know that. 
but since when did fake dating involve.. this much intimacy? wonyoung is still whining about how much your action pained her, you panicked okay?!, but the casual way she rests her hand on your hip and her face nuzzles into your neck, placing kisses which seem to be dangerously lowering with every successive brush of her lips on your skin.., just seems a bit too real to be considered a show.
when you’d asked her, wonyoung had an answer ready at the tip of her tongue, “we need to practice; yn c’mon you seriously don’t expect people to believe us if you keep acting all stiff. we need practice.” and voila, she’d invited herself into your house.
you ignored the dull glint of .. something you couldn’t really understand in her usually bright eyes. you ignored how her rigid expression felt like a knife to your heart.
“hey.,” 2 hands press against your face, forcing your lips into a little pout, “pay attention to me.” you think she’s still being playful, but her expression is the most serious you’ve ever seen it.. 
and then, a featherlight touch of her lips on yours.
it leaves you a little dizzy, to be honest. you’ve kissed before, and this was barely even considerable comparing your past ‘practice’ sessions with wonyoung.. so maybe it’s something about this moment in particular. 
you’d long accepted that she’d only remain a hallway crush, an alluring daydream. because you knew there was no way you could get over her unless.. unless maybe if you got the closure you needed. that you and her could never happen. which was why you’d accepted her plea to be her fake girlfriend. 
you’d hope the way she was basically using you would be enough to knock some sense back into your love lost brain. but it didn’t. you realized if it was wonyoung, you’d be okay with her doing whatever, however, whenever she wanted.
and maybe.. maybe your feelings weren’t completely hopeless. maybe you had a chance.
“wah yn- c’mon do you want me to beg?” wonyoung asks, her arms now moving to pull you closer to her, embracing you ever so tenderly, “i’ll do it if you want, you know? pleasee~ tell me why you were late to the party? you said something about an issue?”
you sigh, “it’s..complicated. a really long story. and it’s 2 am..”
“so? we have all the time in the world.” 
it’s really hard to argue with her in your current position, especially when her fingers are tracing soothing, mindless patterns on your back.
wonyoung decides you need further convincing, mumbling a “i want you to speak your mind around me yn.. let that mask of yours drop now.. please?” to do so.
gods, at this point you’d even tell her all your banking information if she wanted you to.
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notes : honorary dedication to yuyu again n @elliesrosetoy ! (ily btoh) !! &lt;3 + [m.list] (lowkey thinking of a pt3,, lmk tho!)
update -> [pt.3] !! [series m.list]
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unluckilyimnot · 10 months ago
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catch your face before you can hide your blush
rayne x reader (mashle)
fluff
m.list
note: me thinking so damn hard about a neutral way to say "she's just a girl" bc yes it's a joke but not inclusif enough and ugh it turns out bad
Feel free to request! Take a look at the rules before :)
I hope you enjoy !
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 It’s not that you don’t like to work with Rayne, it’s the opposite in fact. He always has the right word, a good point to make and it’s easy to explain your point. But if there was one thing you had to point out, it would be how seriously he looks at you when you work. Or when he doesn’t have anything to do, in fact.
Yes, you were sensitive to his charms, but you don’t know if he’s conscious about it at all. Whenever he talks, you have to stay focused on what he’s saying without minding too much his voice, or just even his lips – which are usually dry, you wished you could hand him your lip balm without thinking of the indirect kiss that would create. You’re just a normal teenager, you lose it easily around your crush.
But right now, your real problem was that you were talking and he was listening. Which means that he, it seems like, has to look deeply into your eyes when you make eye contact. Things are, you can’t stay concentrated when he glances at you that way. There’s something so simple yet interesting, he’s drinking all your words as some divine speeches and your brain stops braining. You found yourself mumbling a few words that don't mean anything anymore, you can’t bounce back on you last words because you already forgot them ; and of course you don’t miss the way his eyes fell on your lips for a second before looking back at your eyes.
You can’t help but look away, a burning hot feeling on your cheeks and the second you turned your face away, something cold grabbed your before you could. Your eyes are back into his, getting lost when he doesn’t say anything, simply holding you still.
You’re alone in the library, it’s about to close yet you still have so much to do but it’s like time stopped. He can’t get his eyes off you, nor can you. Cat got your tongue for a few seconds that felt like minutes before you opened her mouth.
“Why do you always look at me like that ?” you whisper, scared that if you speak up you’ll break something.
“Can’t I when you talk to me ?” You’re losing it. Your mouth is dry and keeping the eye contact is killing you. If he looks at your lips one more time you’ll be a goner. Moving his fingers along your jawline instead now, he got a little closer, his nose brushing against yours. “So ?” he insisted, since he didn’t hear your answer but you only nodded at him.
Then his eyes took another peek at your lips, and he’s about to speak again, but you can’t help but lay a small kiss on his lips before he does.
It’s his time to be surprised but not enough to let go when you try to pull away.
“You’re really thinking you’ll get away with that ? Wait ‘til we get to the dorm.” 
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Freaking obsessed with this man as well lately. I'm not done with mashle yet but soon and I'm SO SAD. I loved it so much ❤️‍🩹
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casanovawrites · 4 months ago
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random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 11
you’ve been such a pain in my ass.
you’re the most fascinating person i’ve ever known.
can you stop needing to be the hero here?
people don’t just disappear. 
we are saying goodbye. just not to each other. we’re saying goodbye to everything else, our old lives.
everything that kept us safe is gone.
i would rather prepare for the worst before the worst happens.
i am basically 100% headache right now.
you’re the only one who ever let me feel normal.
maybe i suck too. i just don’t know how yet.
i’m not choosing anyone. i’m choosing work over play.
doesn’t it feel like everyone wants us to be someone we’re not?
a sleepover? am i invited?
it has to be you. you’re all we’ve got.
you know me. we know each other.
it’s called keeping up with the times, asshole.
but fuck all of you, and i mean that.
people don’t usually follow my lead, if you know what i mean.
there’s nothing wrong with us.
i want your point of view on things.
you’re killing me. you get that, right? that’s what you’re asking me. to die for you.
i’ll follow your rules. that’s all you get.
i’d love to trade witty one-liners with you.
you’re the worst. you know that, right?
today is the first time in my life that feels like the right time.
there is a point to everything. there are answers.
god doesn’t just play games with people for fun.
the sun just keeps coming up every day, and you can’t cry forever. 
you have to have hope, don’t you? because who knows. maybe tomorrow.
you don’t get to decide what matters.
a lot of what’s happening is us being scared, and alone, and bored. so we do scary things to each other, we hurt each other. 
it’s like she wants to turn the whole world upside down.
who’s been there for you more than me?
bullshit. we’re not the same person.
you didn’t pick me. because you didn’t think i belonged.
if i had to pick anyone in the world when things got bad, i’d pick you.
this isn’t about us. this has nothing to do with us.
there is no us. because of everything.
i love you. i know i don’t always show it, but i do. i love you.
the universe does not care about your love life.
i’m not sad. i’m pissed off.
you say too many things you don’t mean.
i’ve thought a lot about dying. i’ve gotten used to that. but i don’t like to be afraid.
sometimes when i’m angry, i want to hurt people.
i’m worried that i’m not real.
all you can do is have an advantage, and this is mine. it’s all i have.
what i did is not the worst crime in the world.
given everything, can’t i get a tiny break?
why? what’s so special about me?
are we going to fight each other over food? that’s fucking crazy.
you can live wherever you want, just not with me.
we should get some food, before it’s all gone.
what if things don’t go back to the way they were?
don’t give me a fucking speech. you have no idea.
i guess i can learn to get along with a few more people.
what’s so hard about being honest with yourself?
it’s been ten days. i’m not the same person i was.
if there are things that need to be done, i want to do them.
there are no sides anymore.
you’re the best decision i’ve ever made.
we’re the same. you have to stick with your own.
i’m scared, and i have to take care of myself.
i live in your shadow, and now you suddenly want to disappear?
you know that you’re the love of my life? and whatever comes after this.
if this is it, this is where i want to be. i mean not here, but with you. you’re where i want to be.
i was a different person before we fell in love.
thank you. for loving me. 
right now, we could use all the love we can get. 
you get scared, and you get mean.
is this how you want to spend the time you have left? always looking over your shoulder?
you’re giving me a headache instead of having my back.
it’s just, sometimes i know what i want, i just don’t know how to say it.
the only feelings that anyone cares about are yours. 
people keep dying around me.
i feel really lucky to have you. you’re my rock.
the end is none of your business.
i like you exactly the way you are.
i’m so sick of feeling different from everyone else.
after “fuck you,” i don’t have much.
i think about you too much.
i don’t think about you.
i’m not scared. i’m just realistic.
it feels like i’ve been starting forever.
no one cares about the best player on the worst team.
i’m tired of losing. i just don’t know what to do.
that’s hopelessly romantic. and this isn’t hopeless.
i haven’t been happy all year. why start now?
i’m sorry i can’t turn off my feelings whenever you want.
seems like everything i do hurts your feelings.
i care about you. i just don’t know how to prove it.
i like who i am in your eyes. i like how you see me.
i’m not sure i like myself in a relationship.
i’m way easier to replace.
when it ends, it’ll hurt.
the right thing is just to be here with you.
death is not beautiful, it’s final.
i keep failing everyone, and i don’t know what to do.
i don’t feel sad. i feel numb.
i ask people if they’re all right too much.
you never needed me. you needed someone.
i made myself sick to make you feel better.
this whole time i thought it was dying, but it’s living what scares you
you’re afraid to commit, and i need constant validation. 
you don’t belong here. not after what you did.
there is no mystery here. nothing to avenge.
i made a wish, and it came true, and i couldn’t take it back.
he was a bad person and a worse father. the world is better off without him.
you never know when to stop, do you?
you do whatever it takes to survive. or you die.
you think i didn’t try everything to get back to my family?
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avoxrising · 1 year ago
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The Feral One • Ch 11
Finnick x Y/N
Series Masterlist Link
I had such a hectic day but decided I wanted to stay up late and upload anyways. Prepare yourselves for a plot twist!!!
Content Warnings - Mentions of suicide/torture
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How long had you been here? Weeks? Months? None of that mattered to you. You were happy here.
The capital doctors had fixed you. No more meltdowns over people touching you; no more urges to kill. You were finally healed.
You don’t know why they took the route of healing you while they tortured the others, but who were you to complain? They had made you whole again. Maybe they thought that making you realize the stability you had lived without for the past five years would be a form of torture. Maybe they thought it would make you sad. It didn’t. It made you the happiest you had been in a long time.
The only thing that would make you happier would be seeing Finnick. You know he’s not in the capital. Peeta said he saw him on the screen the other day while he was doing an interview, so you know he’s alive. You just hope you’ll be reunited soon.
Hopefully he will come here and they can fix him too. He may not show it, but his games and the years after have left him with a lot of scars. If he comes, you’ll make sure he gets the same treatment you received.
The power here keeps flickering out. Peeta says it’s cause the dam in District 5 was destroyed. Apparently Finnick and Katniss are in District 13 and the capital sent bombs. Peeta warned them and got extra torture because of it.
Johanna is silent outside of her screams. Whatever they’re doing to her sounds horrible. You don’t want to find out.
“Y/N!” Peeta whispers loudly to you. His room is across from yours and you can hear each other under the door.
“What?” you respond.
“I overheard them talking about you,” he states. “The peacekeepers were talking about your treatment.”
“What about it?” you ask.
“I didn’t hear all of it,” he explains, “and it’s hard for me to know what’s real nowadays, but they said something about a timer going off and how they would make you crazy again. We have to get out before they hurt us.”
“What are you talking about?” you ask him annoyed. “They won’t hurt me. Snow promised.”
Just as Peeta goes to respond, the lights cut out again and peacekeepers enter the hall. They usually set up extra guards when the power goes out in case anyone tries to escape. Why would you escape? You like it here.
It must be an hour later when panic sets in. You hear a hiss coming from the hall and what sounds like people falling over. You don’t have time to think, however, before your door is opened and a canister of smoke is thrown into your room. Peeta was right. They are going to hurt you.
“Did you always love her?” Katniss asks Finnick as they wait for the rescue team to return. All communication had been cut off but the two were still holding onto hope that they would return safely.
“No,” he chuckles. “I guess she snuck up on me.”
“How?” Katniss asks.
“After her incident in the capital Snow killed her family,” he explains. “I moved in with her because she wasn’t stable enough to live on her own. We were scared she was going to kill herself and selfishly I couldn’t let the one victor I had brought home at that point die.”
Katniss nods her head in understanding and Finnick continues.
“I don’t know if I’d even call us friends when I first lived with her. She wasn’t thrilled I moved in and found me annoying, yet I was the only one she would talk to. She wouldn’t even speak to Mags,” he states. “Before Annie’s games my nightmares got worse. I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night completely disoriented. Instead of running or turning violent she would stay. Whenever I woke her up she would come to my room and sit near me till I fell asleep again. Something just clicked at that point and I knew I couldn’t live without her. I still can’t.”
“I never even told her I loved her,” he sadly says to Katniss.
“She knows,” Katniss responds. “And I know she loves you too.”
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Taglist:
@randomgurl2326 @mystargirl-interlude @uther-pendragon-is-an-ass @yourdailymemedelivery @americanprometheuss @l3xi3luv @noisyalmonddreamer @nordicvxid @teaganthemorningstar @samatokisunfinishedcigarette @justtrying2getby @heytherellala @notplutos @innercreationflower @nexxus13 @kachelleee @helluvafire @haymitchabernathyslover @memeorydotcom @frostsword @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @giverosespls @honethatty12 @just-levyy @dd122004dd @nekee-lilac02 @impeterporker @nox-the-gay-nerd @redsakura101 @hopefulatrocity @eddiemunson4ever @fangirlvibez @kittimbo @zucchinimalfoy @sleepy-roman @secretsicanthideanymore @writerofadream @vsnrly @mayonesavegana @lilifl0wer @finnickodaddy @abbersreads @fox-bee926
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2knightt · 7 months ago
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Heyyy!!! Could i please get The gang with a reader they were never romantically interested in, just friends with, getting a glow up? And the gang slowly realizes they have feelings for them? And reader used to have a crush on them? Angsty please 🤧🙏🏽
୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ tastes like she might be the one. ⋄ 𓍯
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REQUESTED…the gang realizes what they lost a little too late.
tags/warnings: shitty angst, gn!reader, reader isn’t forgiving, EVERYONE is toxic, story-focused, i made reader and the gang stop being friends cuz rejection is awkward.
ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i seen this req and started maliciously laughing to myself while rubbing my hands
johnny cade
falling in love with your best friend. it’s a common troupe in tv shows, but have you ever noticed it never works out in real life?
you watched from a distance as johnny walked around the whole east-side with ponyboy. your ‘best friend’ was hanging out with someone else after telling you, ‘he was busy.’
a sudden feeling of disappointment washed over you. it was no longer the usual sadness you felt after seeing johnny hang out with his other friends after bailing on you.
you were almost numb to it.
the ball in your throat you’d usually get as tears swelled in your eyes evolved into thoughts of what was for dinner.
before, you’d drop hints that you’d like him. all johnny would do is brush them off. you know he’s not stupid and that he knew what you meant, he just didn’t feel the same.
now, you’re avoiding him. which was easier than you think as it still seemed he was uncomfortable around you.
eventually, you just stopped talking. people would ask why you guys don’t hang out anymore or they’d ask where johnny was. all you’d do was shrug your shoulders.
why should you care?
a significant amount of time had passed since johnny last seen you face-to-face. obviously, he was mature enough to admit that it was his fault. but, he can’t stand being awkward around you.
until one fateful and unfortunate day.
“ow! jesus, man—watch where you’re going.”
“yea.”
johnny mumbled, watching the random, rather pretty person, rub their head. you looked up instead of looking down at the concrete, only to meet johnny cade’s eyes.
“johnny?”
“wait-y/n?”
his eyes scanned you up and down, shock settings in. how were you the same person he’d giggle with about the latest comic?
“uh, yeah. tha’s me.”
you mumbled, feeling a little bit awkward from it all. i mean, who wouldn’t? he’s looking at you like you’re a model from the magazine’s two-bit steals.
“…wow. you, uhm—look amazing.”
“yeah, thanks.”
you two muttered amongst yourselves, looking like the epitome of awkward teens. johnny was rubbing the back of his neck as you picked at your nails.
“so,”
johnny started, his voice already shaking and unstable.
“what’re you doing this week?”
“gonna be busy. sorry.”
you waved off his question before saying a sorry excuse for a goodbye.
johnny stood there, feeling slight deja vu as you walked past him. he used to tell you he was gonna be busy to stay away.
and now here you are, doing the same.
the ball in this throat wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried to swallow it back, no matter how hard he tried to blink the tears away.
a familiar feeling of sadness washed over him
dallas winston
“it’s not like i’d ever date you, anyhow.”
sure, he was drunk when he said it as you carried him out of the drive-in. but, you know the saying. drunk words are sober thoughts.
you liked dallas. like, a lot. many might’ve said he wasn’t worthy of you—you disagreed each time. but, it was clear he didn’t feel the same.
he treated you like a friend. which, you two were friends, but it’s hard to watch someone you love treat you like the same guys he puts into headlocks.
after that, you distanced yourself. you knew he was cursing you deep down for ignoring him, fuelling his belief that every person was out for him.
but, you couldn’t look at him without feeling like crying while angrily punching him.
a few months went passed and you, somehow, managed to steer clear of dallas winston for the time being.
until one slip-up.
you and your new-found-friends all watched the drag race with giggles and cheers filling the air.
a tap on your shoulder pulled you out of the trance, turning your head only to be greeted with dallas’ cold, dark eyes.
“i thought that was you, y’know. where the hell have you been?”
everyone got awkward. you avoided his gaze whilst your friends went silent, whispering to each other.
“around.”
“so, you go ‘round and change up your whole look?”
“exactly.”
you answered, an obvious attitude in your voice as you held back an eye roll.
“well, you look good. if that’s what you wanna hear.”
“i know. now go away, dallas.”
you spat before turning your attention back to the track, quickly talking your friends back into their excited mood.
dallas watched as you acted like he didn’t exist. he clenched his jaw as he walked away, his hands in a fist while walking into an abandoned alleyway.
a crack was heard from his knuckles, followed by a groan. his skin was red, fresh wounds opening before he punched the brick wall again.
the seconds felt like minutes and the minutes felt like hours as dallas trashed the alleyway, making it look like a tornado had rushed through only the narrow path.
anger was the only thing he felt. for you embarrassing him and for allowing you to slip through his fingers.
ponyboy curtis
“i don’t see myself datin’ you. you know that, right?”
he snapped after you, not so subtly, hinted that you liked him. ponyboy was always one for brutal honesty, but at a time like this, it wasn’t needed.
the longer and longer you thought about it, you seemed to create this idea of ponyboy. the one that would take you out, not ignore your feelings, step up when he had to, and most importantly—actually like you.
delusional is what you’d call it. psycho is what ponyboy told his friends as you sat across the street with yours.
over summer break, it was only natural you’d mature and grow into your looks. you were always beautiful, but the change was enough to knock anyone out of their seat.
especially when it was your ex-crush slash ex-best friend.
you sat out on a bench by the lot, chin tilted up to look at the stars that twinkled. the concept of ‘vampire stars,’ always amazed you.
things so beautiful were still able to suck the lives out of the ones closest to them. the shining dots in the black ink of the sky still resembled the humans below.
“y/n..? why are you out so late?”
you heard a groggy voice come from behind you after a tap on your shoulder. unfortunately for you, you immediately recognized the voice.
“i was jus’ about to go home, ponyboy.”
you mumbled in response, quick to gather your things. panic washed over pony as he seen you getting ready to leave. his hand grabbed your wrist, loosening his grip as he realized how weird it was.
“can’t you stay a little longer and talk?”
“not really, i don’t see myself talking to you anytime soon. good night, ponyboy.”
you answered rather bluntly as you yanked your wrist out of his hold. you walked away without bothering to look behind you.
ponyboy stood there, dumbfounded. he was always one to read between the lines—so when you told him, “anytime soon,” he took that as, “i’ll talk to you, just not right now.”
call it delusion or insanity, but in his head, he was just seeing someone who is still getting over the crush they had on him.
maybe you’ll like him back soon.
sodapop curtis
“i like someone else, y/n. ‘m real sorry.”
even when he’s rejecting you, he still treated you better than any other guy you’d dated. that’s why you could never say you hated sodapop curtis, he’s too sweet for such a word.
although, he wasn’t all that sweet if he was avoiding you. soda said he’d forget like the whole confession thing happened, but he clearly didn’t even bother trying.
you longed for him to even wave at you. for his eyes to meet yours. you just wanted his attention. desperation was truly a shameful thing.
he was so quick to go and date sandy. maybe it was a blessing in disguise. it helped you move on quicker. slower than most, yes, but quicker than you ever thought.
you had met a rather cute guy awhile back. made you feel like a little girl again with how special he treated you. he made you forget all about soda.
you waved goodbye to your boyfriend as he kissed you on the cheek before you closed the car door. he dropped you off at home, so it wasn’t a far walk. any farther and sodapop, who was sitting inside, would’ve went crazy.
your mom had let him in, pushing your old history aside and offered him a hot cup of tea. he sipped on it while holding back tears.
once the click of the lock was heard, soda’s eyes began to water.
“y/n, sandy she-“
he mumbled as he seemed to lunge at you, his arms already wrapped around you. you felt his tears hit the crown of your head like bullets.
despite your morals, you pushed him away, wriggling yourself out of your grasp.
“dude, you can’t just do that.”
“why not? i thought we were best friends.”
“were, soda. we were friends.”
you said flatly, no emotion past disappointment in your voice when you spoke while you took your shoes off.
“and don’t touch me. i have a boyfriend.”
“you what?”
“yeah. i don’t like you anymore and we aren’t friends. you can go home now.”
soda stood there with a broken expression on his face, he was nothing more than a defeated and an empty man in a house that was no longer comforting.
he watched as you walked around the corner, not even sparing a glance toward him.
a small part of him hoped you would. you’d gotten prettier since he’d last saw you. your eyes shinned brighter, your smile was wider, and you stood with more confidence.
he really, really wanted you to look at him.
darry curtis
“look, y/n. i like you and all, but i needa focus on myself and my football.”
two years ago, before you guys graduated, you confessed. you immediately regretted it.
you looked a fool as darry curtis nervously rubbed the back of his head. all you did was nod and let out a small, ‘okay,’ before walking off.
you went to the college that was the farthest away from tulsa. being in the city reminded you of the embarrassment.
as you studied, you obviously matured. both mentally and physically. you no longer held the silly grudge against darry, even when you had to go back to visit family.
but all it took was a small wave toward darry for all the memories to go rushing back. but, not to you. to him.
seeing you giggle as you played with your younger cousins made him regret telling you he wanted to focus on football.
he envisioned the life you two could’ve had.
you helping ponyboy with his schoolwork, comforting soda when sandy had left him, and making him a home cooked meal when he went home.
but that’s all behind him now. it was just a fantasy.
you two are older. and even then, it’s not like you’d give him a chance. you still think he’s the biggest football star.
steve randle
“i don’t like you. i’m sorry, y/n. i jus’ don’t.”
and he left it off at that. of course, you never out right said you liked him. steve randle wasn’t stupid, however.
he knows how to read between the lines. and you know when to leave someone alone. and steve clearly didn’t want to be around you.
you watched longingly from afar when you seen him in any casual setting. you’d do anything to take the confession back—to go back to normal.
as the weeks and months passed, you never even seen steve. it seemed your obsessive staring and the need to check up on him constantly ended.
the habit, or rather the addiction, finally stopped.
it didn’t stop for steve. he seen you at the DX for the first time in awhile, smiling and giggling with your friends.
you’d only smile like that with him. he grasped the wrench harder as he clenched his jaw.
while paying, steve made sure to walk through the front doors so you’d see him.
“oh. hey, y/n.”
“…hey.”
you muttered with your brows pinched together, looking at him like he was the girls you used to gossip about him with.
“so, uh—you look nice.”
“thanks.”
your boring answer made it seem like you wanted a way out. and steve knew when to let go of a conversation, he wasn’t dumb.
you walked past him and out the door, your friends glaring at him. his eyes never left your figure as you walked away.
he wished he could take back the words he said. maybe if he wasn’t so rude, you’d be back beside him.
two-bit mathews
“you’re funny, y/n.”
funny. funny was what he thought about your feelings. you loving him was funny.
fine. you’d show him funny. let’s see if him being without you was ‘funny.’
you avoided him, ignoring him when he tried to call you over. this would help you move on and show him what was fucking ‘funny.’
the next, ‘hey, y/n,’ should be the last. you couldn’t stand to look at the dumb curl from his brunette hair that rested on his forehead. you couldn’t stand his laugh.
two-bit had gotten the hint. he left you alone even though it felt weird walking around town without you.
he hadn’t seen you in weeks, until at the bar. he heard your giggle and suddenly his heart raced like never before.
maybe it was jealousy or dislike.
two-bit found you sitting on a bar stool, a shot in hand. out of instinct and habit, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
“two-bit?”
“why’ve you been ignoring me, dude?”
the humour in his voice was no longer there as he felt nothing was funny in you ignoring him.
“that’s funny, two. go bother dallas or somethin’.”
you grumbled with your jaw clenched, pushing him off you. two-bit muttered something under his breath as he pushed the exit.
he cannot stand the way your hands were still soft or how your lips were still parted when you focused in on the conversation.
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popponn · 1 year ago
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call you later; 1.
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notes: what if you didn't pick up their call? they left a voicemail, in their own ways. characters: isagi yoichi, itoshi sae, seishirou nagi. [ part 2 : rin, bachira ]
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isagi yoichi
Probably felt a little bit sad you didn’t pick up. You are probably his first crush—and only, for a long time, maybe, and this boy is committed with capital C when he is into something—so don’t be too hard on him. Like, hey, his #2 after the soccer itself didn’t pick up his phone? Poor guy.
But like the considerate boy off the pitch he is, Yoichi will immediately give you a brief of what he wanted to tell you before leaving the classic note of ‘i will call you again later’. It won’t be overly long, as he prefers to talk to you rather than to the empty void of a voicemail. Or at least he intends so to seem polite and proper, until he stutters and tripped all over his words a little bit. It’s cute though.
All in all, probably one of the most normal guy from Blue Lock, as usual, and whatever sad feelings he had from getting his call not being picked up will be gone the moment he got the chance to talk to you. A little advice, just make sure to actually call him later—knowing you reach out to him as soon as you can will make Mr. Egoist pretty happy.
“Uh, so… are you busy? Wait—you are not picking up of course you are busy…” Yoichi trailed off with a nervous laugh. “But, so, anyway, about our promise to walk around Saitama, I was wondering if your schedule is free this Sunday? I got two weeks off Blue Lock but I kinda want to make sure we can do it as soon as we can, so if anything comes up—ah, but I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”
It took Yoichi a few seconds to gather his composure before he continued, “I mean, uh, yeah, I just want to do it with you soon. I will call you again so we can talk about it later! Work hard, or have a good time! See you!”
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itoshi sae
First of all, how dare you. He is famous and probably have people lining up for his number while you get him punching your number and didn’t pick up. Just for that, Sae might throw a tantrum, albeit a silent one.
On a more serious note, he will raise an eyebrow honestly, especially if you are the type to usually answer. But he is pretty independent most of the time, so he will only left a few words on the voice mail. In some occasions, though, when he just calls for the sake of listening to you, he will feel a little bit down. You can cheer him up later—you should, actually. Sometimes talking with Sae requires advanced mind reading technique and when he is a little bit down or pissed you really have to use that skill. Because boy, this guy is pretty constipated emotionally.
So, end notes, just call him real soon, okay? He might act cold and tough but he is also someone whose favorite show is Chibi Maruko-chan. He won’t say much in the voicemail or act like it afterwards, but he might really wait for you to call back, especially if he didn’t hear anything from or about you for a day. Though, honestly, just call him back or answer his next call before five seconds so everyone could be saved from his scathing vocabularies.
“What do you want for dinner? I’m picking you up later,” Sae said without wasting a second. “Hurry up and decide, then call me soon, got it? And in case you are thinking of anything funny, finish whatever you are working on first, then call me as soon as possible.”
For a moment, it was as if he was done. Then, a few beats of silence passed and he continued, “…and honestly… nevermind. Just call me soon.”
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nagi seishirou
Yeah, let’s be real—he won’t leave a note and just give up. He willed out energy to call you first and you asked more from him? Wow. The fucking audacity.
But, let’s say, he really really wants to talk to you at the time and is in a really really really good mood—it will be long, if only for the long pauses. He will speaks sparsely, like the personification of bullet notes, as he doesn’t really see the point in talking if you are not really there to begin with. But, at the same time, Nagi Seishirou is also a Blue Lock egoist and he thinks having you listen to his voice note for a long time is not exactly a bad thought.
In the end, though, he really just want to hear your voice, actually. So, sooner or later, he will end the note with a ‘call me soon’ and plays a few games while waiting for you. The guy really need to recharge whatever small battery he has with you, so you really better call back if you don’t want to deal with a pouty Nagi holding a petty grudge for three minutes. And come on, do it for Reo, dude has way too much on his plate already.
“Eh, why are you not picking up?” Seishirou started with a complain, before immediately staying silent for a long time. Clearly on purpose, rather than for trying to remember something. “…I want to talk to you, so call me later, ‘kay?” he continued, in the end. “Choki also misses you by the way. You love Choki, right? So you really better call me back.”
Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Oh, I also have something I want to show you. So, let’s meet up next week. That’s all. Later.”
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