#or maybe not but at least i've enjoyed the process creating

[gangplanksorenji]

A door that’s slightly ajar (and then, I opened them all up)

Pairing: LE SSERAFIM Yunjin x Male Reader

Word Count: 8939

A/N: Hello Orenjideul! Of course, it's the down bad days for me, again and this time, I've been wanting to write something like this, like a student-like fic and here we are! I absolutely love writing this and creating up with titles like this—I really do!!! Also, big thanks for @majorblinks for beta-reading and making some corrections to my mistakes! Thank you so much! Anyways, hope y'all enjoy this fic and see you until the next time again! <3

-----------------------------------

-----------------------------------

It's just another normal day of the week, is it? Yes, it is, and you're tired of it. There's nothing you can do either, unless, doing a significant change that will probably make the day more interesting. Yet, what change can you make? You can't even have one, at the moment, so you'll be back on this redundant day, again.

Thank god that your class dismissed early, and that uplifted your motivation of making that “change”. It was on a Saturday too, maybe it explains why your lecturer feels drowsier than usual—I mean, he already looks like that all of the time but whatever.

You kick your shoes, got your things packed on your bag on a quick two-hour discussion as you rushed your way out, going straight to the cafeteria so you could buy and eat your favorite chocolate-pecan flavored cookies there—and honestly, you don't really spend that much money on miscellaneous things, but those cookies are maybe worth dying for.

You drool in the imagination of it, and you can't wait to taste those.

*something thuds*

You're subtly startled by that sound. There's no ghost (you don't really believe in such, too) nor your friends trying to prank the living life out of you as maybe, you just speculate those are just those reckless students doing whatever they're doing.

“These people��”

Maybe it's because of Saturdays. Weekends are pretty much the busiest days at your end even though it's the time where people set themselves to rest—there's so much contradiction that it outdid itself more than an oxymoron.

Such unnecessary thoughts shall go and fade away, in your mind, at least. Why are you even overthinking about this? Too descriptive? Well, maybe, it's a yes but there's something more descriptive, and that's when you opened your locker, full of those damned textbooks you aren't even bothered to read. Why does it even exist anyways?

Too busy. Too unbothered. Too focused—

“Hello, baby.”

You shout at the sudden figure startling you, almost dropping your textbook and your folder full of your seatworks in the process. You then put them onto your locker and shut the door lock, then averted your unwanted eyes towards the girl in front of you.

“W-What do you want, Yunjin?”

Huh Yunjin. Yes, that's her name and it's classy whenever she gets called “Jennifer”, her English name. She's one of the most popular girls on the whole university thanks to her clever and smart mind, her pretty face and her personality, and her specialty, her ways of captivating the hearts of guys and gals with her charm-filled flirting and here you are, standing right beside her—

“You.” She pokes her finger onto your chest, talking about you and you only.

If this is just one of her games you're sick and tired of playing, you definitely have no time for this, especially since you know how much she'll want to seduce someone under her spell.

“Yunjin, I have no time for this, okay? If you have someth—”

“Why not, hm? Then tell me why you're frequently looking at me in the lecture earlier, baby.”

And yes, you're mostly in the same class with her. Even though maybe it's written in the stars that you're both destined to be in the same class with each other and to top it all off, it’s even with the most stressful subjects known to man. Even with her being an ultimate nuisance—the bane of your silence—there's still a positive side of this: her ability to make everything interesting. Yes, you stole glances with her earlier—then wait, if she knows about this, then she's looking at you often then—

“Then how would know that without stealing glances to me too—”

“Answer my question, baby…” Yunjin whispers to your ear as she extends her right arm, pinning you against the metallic locker behind you and her other arm reaching for your necktie, her eyes burning with desire and lust as she demands an answer escaping from your lips, right here, right now.

“Come on, baby. Answer me—”

“Is it maybe just a coincidence, Yunjin? Get off me—”

“Nu-uh, baby. You can’t escape me.”

Yunjin’s seductive voice never fails to bring you weak, onto your knees as it feels eargasmic to hear, her saccharine tone almost leaving you defenseless. Her firm grip onto your necktie leaves you vulnerable to her and there’s also no way you can escape her, and even if you wanted to and if you were successful, she’ll try her best to catch you. What does she even want from you, anyways? Why would you experience this treatment of hers instead of the other guys on the campus? Why even you?

Well, as much as you want to keep asking yourself those kinds of questions, there’s only one way to find out what she really wants: finding the answer yourself.

“Then, w-what the fuck do you want from me, Yunjin? Can’t you j-just do your thing to the other guys at the campus? Why even m-me?”

Well, if she would help herself on resisting you, she may—

“No—” Yunjin closes her face dangerously towards yours, just inches away from kissing you but you won’t let her. Her minty breath captivates you even more as her tone is the cherry on top—the mixture of sultry of sweet best describes it—but you won’t let yourself fall under the spell of this slut—

“Come on, baby. Don’t you want me, hm?”

Of course, she’ll lure her prey into the abyss of no-return (into the unknown depths of lust) and will get to her desired promised land. She’ll do everything to get what she wants and it even starts right now: her hot breath brushing off on the crook of your neck as she kisses the soft skin right after, letting your defenses crumble down in shambles as she’ll do what it takes to be hers for the time-being.

“I’ll make sure that you’ll never forget this day and…” Yunjin peppers your neck with passionate kisses as it’s not enough to leave a mark, yet enough for you to feel her immediate need for you. “I’ll let you do anything to me, baby.”

Is she really talking about this? Is she for real?

These thoughts linger in your mind as the last sentence turns you on. You know how this may end with Huh Yunjin—you getting in trouble as she gets away with an unscathed and clean record because of her mother being the president of the parent’s organization of the university and… you absolutely hate it. Yes, it’s unfair and you curse yourself on what could happen but how could you deny such a hot girl like Yunjin? Her pretty face, captivating eyes, her plump, kissable lips, her hot figure, spankable ass—there’s just not enough time on how perfect she can be and if you were to be asked, you can’t help but be attracted to her.

Yes, it may sound hypocritical but you meant what you said, or at least, what you thought. Giving in to your desperation and desire, you utter an almost inaudible answer that raises Yunjin's attention towards you.

“O-Okay, Yunjin…”

“Okay what, baby, hm?”

She continues peppering your neck with kisses that drive you insane. Her body is incredibly close towards you and you can't help but moan with the emanating heat she's making you feel. 

She needs further clarification—she wants to hear what you really want and possibly, saying it with your heart out, like, you really meant it.

“More, Yunjin, please…”

Desperate pleas can't go unanswered as Yunjin wasted no time talking but rather in a form of latching. Latching in a way her lips suckled onto the sharp collarbone which earned a moan for you as she knew exactly what you wanted all along—and it's like you won't give in to that damn temptation.

“Like that baby? Like how my lips just… pepper your smooth skin full of kisses, hm?”

“Yes—ahh…”

A soft moan fuels the fire of desire inside her. It was never new but something felt different and new at her end, but she brushes those things off as she averted her whole focus on marking you and kissing you all over.

“I love it when you moan for me, baby. Gladly, we're only getting started.”

Her fingers trace your pristine skin and up to your lips as she shut your moans, not letting any sound escape from it. 

“Well, let's up it an ante, shall we? I'm getting to know you a little more, baby~”

A little seduction is spicy and you fell for the trap that you'll absolutely be grateful of. Between the plethora of all of the possible things she can do to you, she wants only a single thing for now: and that's to feel how soft and good your lips taste, and especially, how they feel onto hers.

Latching her soft lips onto yours, you immediately reciprocate the kiss in probably less than a millisecond and you cherish it in every second possible as her lips are insatiable and tastes incredibly great. It was splendid and passionate, and you couldn't ask for more but the derivation towards lust makes you want more of it—rather, more of her.

Fuck foreplay—that is probably you, right now. 

You're not a big fan of build-ups nor teasing as you're incredibly impatient and it's proven to be tested right now and probably, you despise it—it's also maybe the fact that you're down bad for her at this moment. It's like you can do something to reach for climax immediately as you're deemed powerless, being captivated and allured under her spell, the animalistic urges inside you craving for more but you couldn't, yet. She'll let you drool over her and that only, for now. She's insatiable and you can't wait to get past the rising action. 

If you think about it, it's probably better like this before the main course as you can't help yourself from getting aroused from Yunjin's advances.

“God, you taste really good, baby. Is it your first time getting kissed on the lips, hm?”

“N-no…”

You stutter and she giggles. She finds it rather cute that a man like you gets feeble around her and she smiles on that fact. It's even better because of the fact that you can't do anything to retaliate against her actions and she knows you won't.

“Liar, hehe~ I bet no one kissed you, or—this fucking good, hm?” 

Her stern tone turns you on more than you can imagine as she demands an answer yet the serenity of her voice contradicts the devil—the venom laced between her words of lust and greed.

“Y-yes…”

“Say my name, baby.”

“W-what?”

You're genuinely confused why would she need you to call her name—oh, maybe because she wants to know how much you love her, how much you love her stupidly-hot acts towards you. Her fingers then unbutton the first layer of your uniform swiftly and with you being so oblivious, you didn't notice how she's slowly undressing you.

“W-what do you mean, Yunjin?”

“There you go, baby~ Hmm—mwah. That's for being a good boy, hihi~”

A quick peck on the neck as she hears her name once again escaping from your lips. A quick peck as a result of her wants being attended and letting you know how much she loves this moment. You’re utterly confused but you don’t care—you want her now and no one’s stopping you from that.

“You know, baby—” Yunjin’s hands caresses your back as she feels the heat radiating upon the foreplay that’s happening, and that makes her smile genuinely. “—let’s do this somewhere private, y’know?”

A casual giggle involuntarily caused by her captivating actions escapes her lips. You know where this will be ending and you waste no time leading the way, already miles away, reading her mind.

“I'll lead you to the bathroom then, Yunjin.”

“Then do, baby~”

She then offers her hand gently as you insist on holding it slowly, leading the way to the bathroom. Once you got there, nothing held back as the unstoppable force met the immovable object—both of your lips crashing onto each other, exchanging sloppy kisses towards each other as she moaned from your aggressiveness. 

“Mmph, baby—ahh! You really, really kiss me so good~”

“Not really, you do, Yunjin.”

Yunjin blushed from your heartfelt compliment as you did feel the heat within your cheeks, painting it rosy-pink as you find the kiss so incredibly hot and passionate that you can't help yourself but let the tiger inside you to be unleashed. 

Unleash the beast, as a famous saying says (it clearly reflects what you’re feeling right now) and without containing the ferocity inside you, you unbridle it. Wasting no second, you connect your lips her onto her again, exchanging the sloppiest and the most lustful kisses imaginable and as time advances, there goes the dancing of your tongues, fighting for dominance.

“God—getting so messy with me, baby, hm?”

“Can't help that you're so fucking insatiable, Yunjin.”

She tugged onto your necktie once again as she pulled you towards her, whispering to your ear seductively as it's also enough to send tingles down your spine.

“I feel the same too, baby. You make me feel so good, it's insane~”

The adrenaline inside you is making you unstoppable right now as you can only imagine the possible fantasies of yours coming true, and you can't simply wait to do everything with Yunjin. 

Every. Single. Thing.

She's also cognizant of what will happen next, possibly and surely…

“Ahh—ahh! Baby, right there~ Yes!”

You then latch onto her neck and collarbones, suckling onto the porcelain skin of hers as it's maybe enough to mark her. Her inevitable moans came loose, her sinful releasing the long-shackled lustful cacophony of sex-filled sounds that she can't contain anymore—

“Like it, Yunjin?”

“I fucking love it, baby. I love it when you mark me like you really own me—god, yes!”

She's giving into submission and she inevitably will, slowly, and surely. That's your goal right now, and you'll show off every trick up in your sleeve just to get her into that.

A door is close, way too far and nigh-impossible to reach.

A door is slightly ajar, try to reach it, and eventually you will, then you'll open one and will open more. 

It'll be a domino effect—starting from a single one then will possibly try out everything you can think of.

The door will suddenly close, yet you'll already think of the fact that you've seized those opportunities.

And you'll start right now.

“I want more, Yunjin. Wanna see more—wanna taste more of you.”

Yunjin has that look—that slutty, desperate look of ardor in her eyes and the way it sparkles with lust and anticipation—yes, it's perfect.

“Getting daring, aren't we, baby? Ahh—keep kissing me first. Let them know how much you love it and how much you're mine, baby~ Oh fuck!”

“No, Yunjin—I want more of you, right now.”

Crazy how a sexual desire drives a man into his lowest—a deceitful strength; a vulnerable spot; his cock doing the thinking, and not his brain. Getting daring, you slowly coursed your hands onto the side of Yunjin's plaid skirt, caressing it as you slowly undress her bottom half, wanting to feel and see those meaty thighs—those thighs you've been drooling with since the start of this.

She moans loudly in response to your actions, so, to tone her down, you immediately crash your lips onto hers again—probably for the umpteenth time—as she reciprocates, now feeling her and tasting her. Your insatiability towards her is imaginable, so you immediately pull out and lay down to slowly undress her skirt as it came in, right after, is a work of art: her smooth, pristine thighs on your sight as the white panties being the cherry on top.

“God, Yunjin—your thighs are so—”

“Tasty? And probably, meaty? Yeah, I know, baby. My thighs are all for you to worship and kiss. Hmm—ahh—now, please—let them know how much you want them.”

She read you. It's probably like the first thought everyone will have in their mind once they see Yunjin's thighs—they can relate to you if they were in your shoes but luckily, you're the only one who's having her at this moment, no one else.

Here lies your needs. Onto the hunger of kissing the milky flesh in front of you, you immediately do what must be done and waste no time. Peppering her thighs with pecks in quick succession, plethora of lewd moans came right after—and it's like she's giving herself to you of her own accord.

You continue peppering and worshiping her thighs with kisses and marks and because of how you're making her feel too good, she can't help herself but hold onto your hair, scalp-deep as she needs an outlet to fight the sudden rush of pleasure. 

Her succulent flesh is way too irresistible to pull out as her moans even encourage you to go further, but you wanted to experience more things with her and kissing her thighs for a hot minute and a half is enough to fulfill one of your wants. 

“Baby kissed my thighs so good, hm? Love how delicious my thighs taste, hm? The sweat dripping out slowly and probably—hngg—m-my juices too, hihi~”

“Isn't it obvious, Yunjin? I'm fucking drooling all over these.”

She didn't need to ask honestly, her deep, captivating tone in her voice just sparks the fire within you and it just drives you crazy. It's an obvious yes as an answer to her question, and there's no hesitation in that.

“I want yours too, baby. It's unfair that you drooled all over me and I won't drool over anything about you~ Come on, baby~”

God—it's her seductive tone that really gets you riled up. You just want her whispering to your ear every damn day, teasing you and more—oh, it'll feel like a dream yet technically speaking, you're already living in that fantasy of yours.

As clever as she is, you undoubtedly know what she means by that so, positioning yourself to lean against the cubicle wall, she kneels down slowly, ready to unbuckle your defenses down to its last straw. She looks up at you seductively, her eyes glistening in need and lust as you caress her cheeks and encourage her to do more.

“Mind doing the honors for me, Yunjin?”

“Of course, baby~ You got me so fucking needy for you. I'm dying to taste this dick, baby.”

Noticing the inevitable bulge tenting onto your pants, she smirked at the sight that she made you like this and slowly undressed your bottom half how you did hers earlier. One by one, every piece of clothing is now deemed worthless as every defense is being unshackled and when it's only the last one left, she licks her mouth, getting ready for what you had in store for her.

In one swift motion, the beast inside is now unleashed from its genuinely frustrating restraints as it's rock-hard, almost hitting Yunjin in the face and already dripping with that infamous colorless liquid.

“God, w-wow… You're so big, baby~ I wonder if it can fit inside my mouth, hihi~”

Her puppy-like eyes curiously studied your length, right from your engorged head up to your swollen balls as she admired every inch of you and she leisurely stroked you which earned a moan that escaped from your mouth.

Sure, the wholeness of your dick will fit inside her tight, slutty throat. Not to mention how much she drooled all over your length once you've revealed it and by that, you could tell how much wonders she could do with it.

“Tell me, Yunjin, do you like what you're seeing?”

An unhesitant nod from her as here comes her seductive voice again—

“I do, baby—I fucking do—mwah!”

There starts the slow, passionate kiss on your already swollen head as she plays your leaking slit with her tongue, also, in accordance with the rhythm of her strokes on the base of your shaft. She kissed your mushroom-shaped head so lovingly, it caused you to moan her name alongside with ragged breaths as the sensitivity is way too much to handle.

“Moaning my name, baby? I can tell—you're loving this already, hihi~”

You nod, and that's enough as an answer to her question.

“T-Tell me, Yunjin, what do you want to do with my cock?”

She did hear you, but instead of answering you, she just doubles the efforts of kissing your length from the base up to your swollen tip. You don't like this so, you grip her hair forcefully slowly, demanding an answer escaping from her slutty, cock-hungry lips.

“I w-want to choke on it, baby.”

“And?”

“Want to gag and drool all over it, baby.”

There's definitely more—

“Want to take this cock deep down so badly that I want my throat ravaged by it.”

More—

“Want you to fuck my face with it as I struggle to breath while you do t-that to me, and then, you'll thrust your hips so hard that you're only goal is to destroy my slutty throat for my throat is only a cumdump for you, baby. Or, you can pull out and start painting my face with—”

“Stop.”

“—it…”

Fear emanates her eyes as she's flummoxed about your sudden command towards her.

“You d-didn't like it, baby?”

“No, Yunjin—” You reposition yourself comfortably and lean yourself against the wall again, preparing for what's about to come. “—I'd rather see you do those things you’ve said rather than talking. Be my guest.”

She immediately fulfills what she'd said as constant licks and slurps reverberate around the puny cubicle you're in. She drools all over your cock, worshiping it with numbers of kisses to god knows how many—she just can't get enough of the succulent taste of your shaft.

She's maybe not the most experienced one in your opinion, but surely, she's making you feel great as her plump lips makes your brain go haywire in pleasure and it’s like it’s really made of cock-sucking. Sucking on your head gently, you moan and grip her hazelnut-colored streaks, an outlet to fight the constant course of pleasure.

“God—so fucking good, Yunjin. So so so fucking good—argh! Take me all in—s-shit!”

With your inevitable groans and subsequent moans, she takes this as fuel to up the ante of her pace, bobbing her head vigorously as she takes now half of your shaft, her saliva leaking out slowly on the side of her mouth. The liquid then drips down to your balls which she averted her attention too, not leaving it unattended.

She lathers it with her saliva as she sucks on one ball gently, making sure she's not hurting you in any kind as her aim is to stimulate you further and with her moderate rhythm of her strokes and the gentle care of attending your needs onto your balls, it's impossible to hide how good you're feeling—way better than you expected.

Gently and surely, she doesn't give you a break on the constant serotonin you're feeling. Having enough of your balls, she then goes onto doing the thing she's best at as the slurping sounds resumes and so is the constant gagging that keeps resonating around your ear. Having had enough of the slow stuff, she bobs her head frantically like she has something to prove to you as she went deeper, her throat welcoming the entirety of your length as she gags again in response—her gag literally echoing around the restroom as a hint of panic hits you as someone may barge in to know what's happening, mostly those janitors. Tears inevitably begin flowing down her cheek, messing up the mascara she had on—and it's just better seeing her getting ruined slowly.

Eventually, she pulls out as oxygen is to blame, her gleeful smile meeting you as she still strokes your shaft at a snail's pace.

“You l-like that, baby? You like h-how my tight throat constricts when your head hits the back of m-my throat, hm? You like how good I made you feel?

“S-shut up, Yunjin—do more of that and less talking, okay?”

“What a tsundere… Hmm—mwah!” Yunjin peppers your swollen head with numerous kisses as she continues her dirty talk that sends your arousal higher than the sky. She didn't mind how hypocritical your response is because all that matters is that she did a great job at pleasuring you and it's evident and you can't lie with that.

“Don't you dare lie in front of your teeth, baby—I know you liked it so much. I could even hear you moaning my name repeatedly and wanting mo—”

Well, that's another way to shut her up, for now…

If your words can't shut her slutty mouth up, then maybe taking your cock once again will do. It's really effective, considering how she struggles once you thrust your hips into her throat, making her gag and hum in satisfaction. In every thrust you do, she welcomes it in her tight cavern with open arms as she grabbed your hips almost-so-tightly in order to have stability while fucking her face. The pace quickens immediately, bringing in an onslaught of thrusts in a rapid succession which she enjoyed—she's maybe struggling considering how harsh you're using her throat but you didn't care as your pleasure comes first, and she even enjoys it too. After two minutes of a hot, sloppy (the saliva seeping out of her mouth are in copious amounts) facefucking, she tapped your thigh as she's visibly lacking oxygen and immediately, you pulled out of her tightness.

She gasps for air, struggling to breathe as it almost feels like you ravaged her throat completely. She smiled towards you, coughing a little as her mouth was used like a fleshlight, most likely, a cocksleeve in her (possibly yours too) own terms. She feels like a toy whose only purpose is to pleasure his master and no one else and she absolutely loved it. 

“Oh f-fuck, baby. You used m-my throat so well, hehe~ Now, you gotta finish what you've started i-in my mouth.”

Sticking her tongue out just to invite you to fuck her face again, you fall in under the spell of lust as you insert your length inside her mouth again, and suddenly, the pleasure courses down your veins as the warmth of her throat envelops and welcomes your cock like in a warm embrace. 

You're reflecting as you fuck her mouth mercilessly. You want to save that energy for later—

“Actually, Yunjin, just finish me off. Suck me like you fucking mean it, you slut.”

And off she goes, fulfilling your desires. You could feel that familiar sensation down your loins even earlier, and it's not even that far off now as your orgasm is nearly coming.

Look down as the hazelnut-haired girl bobs onto your penis like she means it—like what you've said—and you let it all out. She feels the persistent throbs of your length inside her throat as she plunges her mouth balls deep, her nose pressing onto the base of your shaft as you fill her cavern up to the hilt and welcoming another side—using it as a canvas for you to paint on. Series of hot, thick semen deposits inside her mouth, painting her throat like you have something to prove—to prove how much she's yours, maybe, just for this moment. Spurt after spurt, she closes her eyes as she feels the incredible volume of your load and the succulent taste of it—she can already feel how much your seed tastes good as her taste buds involuntarily chase the flavor of it, like it's her favorite dessert to indulge in anytime.

After your orgasm dies out (it lasted for at least twenty-two seconds, estimated, since your brain went haywire because of the pleasure), you pull out of her mouth and see streaks of her saliva and your cum as your length becomes lathered by it. Yunjin, as the clever girl she is, cleans your cock without being commanded to do so as she licks all over it, sucking and slurping all over the conglomeration of liquids and gathering it all. For one last time, she pulls out and gathers all of the cum that she can and sticks her tongue to show you how much your load is, and then, swallowing all of it within a single gulp and then showing to you her tongue again, smooth and clean as all of your seed is now into her stomach.

“Gosh, baby. That was so fucking good. That was like, the most delicious load I had ever tasted—god, I wanted more of it.”

If she wants another one, then she needs to earn it like a good girl yet, the both of you had more plans with each other, and it feels like a magnetic connection—the both of you suddenly read each other's minds on what the both of you want.

“I want more of you, baby—like, way much more… Like, I want to feel you, baby—deep inside me.  ”

Well, here we go—

“But baby, I'll let you choose though. Consider this as your luckiest day as you'll get to feel me, hehe~ It's either you wanna fuck me senseless while you rail my tight, little cunt or—” Yunjin slowly takes off her panties, giving you an unholy sight of her holes, which made your cock twitched involuntarily—she's way too fuckable at this moment and too hot to handle. “—you could shove your entire length up in my ass and finger me until I cum uncontrollably.”

These choices are way too tempting and of course, more difficult than ever. You wanna feel her tight cunt clenching and possibly, creaming—which is probably not hard consider how wet she is right at the start—around your shaft while you fuck from behind but also, you can’t let the opportunity fade of fucking her tight asshole and fingering her pussy, all at the same time.

Well, there are also second-hand thoughts within those choices: is there any lube whenever you made your choice on fucking her ass—

“Don’t you worry, baby, I have my lube here, in my uniform pocket.”

—and is no one going to know all of the sinful events that are about to happen within the next few minutes?

“And baby, no one’s gonna know about this as you know how I can get out of things like this. My mother has power and authority in this university so you, and I, will be safe from any trouble, hihi~”

Well, that answers anything you’ve been afraid of…

“So, what is it going to be, hm, baby? Come on—” Yunjin slowly seats onto the toilet (and of course, it’s been covered since the beginning) and spreads her legs wide slowly, presenting her already dripping cunt and her puckered hole, tempting the devil inside you. “—don’t keep a girl waiting.”

Takes you several seconds before coming up to a decision that you’ll surely won’t regret.

“I’d love to fuck you from behind, Yunjin.”

“On what hole, bab—”

“Both of them, your pussy first—”

Well, she’s caught off-guard and perplexed by your sudden need and aggressiveness as you grab her wrists tightly, and then turn her facing the wall. The lust and greed already consumed you and there’s no one stopping you, not even her as you can easily overpower her without breaking a damn sweat.

“I s-said only a single option, bab—”

“No, no, no, Yunjin. That’s not how the games are going to be played—” You spank the creamy flesh in front of you as it jiggles in response, you then smirking as the downfall of Yunjin’s control ensues—herself submitting into pure submissiveness that you dearly wished to see. 

“—I’m the one who’s in fucking control now, Yunjin and don’t tell me you don’t want all of your holes stuffed with only my cock, hm?”

“N-no…”

“No what, Yunjin?”

You gently gripped her neck, choking her as you force an answer to escape from her lips. Such a demand is needed immediately, and you don’t want to be a part of Yunjin's games anymore and you want to show her what exactly you can do to her.

“G-god—I—what I m-mean is that, no—I won’t s-say anything like that b-because this—is—ahh—what I wa-wanted all along!”

“Good.”

You loosen your grip onto her neck and avert your fingers across her clit, stimulating and teasing her and not-so-surprisingly, she moans seductively as the pleasure is starting to get into her and you love seeing how she’s drowning in need—you should’ve done this in front of the restroom’s mirrors, so you can see her ahegao-like expressions that surely, will arouse you further.

“You like that, Yunjin? Like how I make you a whimpering mess on my fingers, hm? Wow, you’re drenched and so fucking wet.”

“Y-yes, baby, I like—”

“Wrong fucking word, Yunjin.”

And then, that hits her, she realizes that she can’t do anything but be the good, submissive toy for her—

“Daddy. I’m very, very sorry, daddy.”

“Good girl—you clever girl, hm?”

You tease her more and more, earning the sexiest of moans escaping out of Yunjin’s mouth as she pleads you to fuck her already but you insist, letting the carnal desires inside you be tamed, for now. You wanted to get her as wet as possible—not to mention how wet her pussy is already, nectar dripping all over her thighs and staining her socks—so you do just that.

“Really want to feel me, huh?”

Another harsh spank to her bubble butt marks it red, enough for the sting of pain to be felt until later as it echoes around the tiny cubicle. You can't wait to feel her tight walls as her desperation and pleas ignite the fuel inside you to resist the temptation and with her continuous pleas to let her out of her misery, a flick of a switch is all it takes as you take her in.

Her velvety walls hug your shaft so tight that you groan in half-pain, half-pleasure—it feels like her pussy walls constrict so hard that its life probably depends on it. With how wet she is, it isn't any hard thrusting in and formulating a pleasurable pace as you form a moderate rhythm from time to time. Her moans were just inevitable too, alongside her chants that were probably part of the symphony of a lewd orchestration of sounds. 

“Fuck me h-harder, daddy! I want it rough s-so what are you waiting f—”

A slap on her butt probably lets her know how you're now in control, and not her yet you think to yourself that you need to destroy her cunt to teach her a lesson. A mere adequate attempt from her for you to play rough with her almost sends you into overdrive as she lures you into the deepest abyss of lust. Even if you deemed her attempts futile and ineffective, you're just saying to yourself how hypocritical you are.

You wanted to ruin the beautiful image of Huh Yunjin, letting everybody probably know how much of a slut she is for cock—

“Don't you fucking worry, Yunjin—I'll pound you so hard and fast that the only thing you'll feel is my cock ravaging your tight, little hole and nothing else. Heck yeah, I would maybe even make you forget your own name and the last thing you'll actually do is beg for my mercy while you can't take it anymore—because I'm going to fucking ruin you, Huh Yunjin, the school's slut.”

Letting out the profanities and the devil inside you, you work your way into making her for you to ultimately use. You waste no times in build-ups as you pound her tight cunt like you're proving something to her—proving how worthy you are to probably own her pussy and how good you'll fuck her throughout this session.

You ram into her hard and fast, letting your animalistic urges take over your body as you didn't stop even a slight second. The clashing of both of your bodies becomes so frequent that sweat is beginning to form onto your forehead and to your back, considering how hard you're fucking her brains out like you're rearranging her guts.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, daddy! You're so deep in me! Keep f-fucking me until you make me a creamy mess! Oh fuck, daddy~”

She moans uncontrollably with every thrust you do into her and she tries to silence it by biting the clothing of her uniform but it wasn't enough. And it's like she can conceal how much of a slut she is for your cock—and there's nothing she can do either. 

She clings onto anywhere she can just to have a greater grip on what's ravaging her pussy. Another attempt of silencing her moans is futile, so you grab her locks, pulling it slowly onto you to let everybody know who she really is.

“You l-like how I fuck your pussy like this, hm, Yunjin? I bet no one fucked this good in your entire life. Let the whole university know how much of a fucking—slut—you are!”

She responds in guttural groans and lustful moans as you drive her insane with your cock—her mind only being flooded about sex, and maybe that only.

“Oh god—daddy, I'm so close! Please let Yunjin cum, please let me cum—cum, cum—I'm cumming!!”

A spank delivered to her backside by your naughty hands is the indication of—

“Then cum, Yunjin—all over… my cock…”

“Gah—ahh!!”

And there she goes, letting everything out as her visceral moans broke the tow, and off she goes, creaming all over your throbbing length like a broken faucet out of control. You want her to take a little breather, so you slow down your thrusts while riding her beautiful orgasm out that lasts for almost a hot minute (roughly like thirty-five seconds but that'll do).

“Now, it's your turn, daddy, hihi~ Cum inside me, please!”

You resume your frantic thrusts and ignore her wants of filling her pussy, aiming to achieve your high too and chasing it as fast as possible.

You definitely want to finish inside her tight, little cunt but a sudden hit of reflection made you think of another option (and also by the fact that a slut like her wants to be bred and you don't want to finish inside her while she's not safe).

She's too spoiled, anyways. With that possible privilege, now is the time to break the tow and maybe, you'll be the first to do it.

“No, Yunjin—” You whisper onto her ears and immediately, and even so, painfully pull out of her pussy as she wails, wanting you to fuck her hole until you ride out your high but you have other ways on settling this mess. “—I'm going to fuck your creamy thighs until I cum, okay? Now, it's up to you to catch all the cum with your hands to taste it or let it go down in waste as I paint the cubicle walls white.”

She definitely wants that idea, for sure. You can sense it even though you can't really see the emotions on her face—she's way too readable now, and there's nothing she can do to let her wants be attended to, either.  

“Daddy's going to fuck these meaty thighs until I cum, okay, Yunjin?”

“Yes, daddy! Please do fuck my thighs—you're still going to fuck me from b-behind, daddy?”

“Yes, Yunjin, and I hope you're prepared.”

She's even more than prepared as you position your throbbing length between her thighs, she then anticipating what's coming next. Her thighs suffocate your cock for dear life and thanks to her wetness dripping down the meaty flesh and also the wetness of your cock due to her own fluids, it wasn't difficult to thrust and hammer between her immaculately perfect thighs.

Thrust after thrust comes moans and groans from you as she hugs your entire shaft tighter than ever, making sure you'll get the utmost pleasure you'll ever desire. Not so long, you're now starting to develop your pace frantically as your hips go wild as the lust drives you into oblivion—the will of greed powering every thrust to chase your nearly-impeded orgasm earlier.

Of course, the inevitable comes closer than you expected.

“I'm so close, Yunjin—fuck! I wanna just fuck these thighs all day. Argh, so fucking close—I'm going to fucking cum!”

“Cum for me, daddy, please!”

It feels like another dormant volcano erupts, sending magnitudes of pleasure all over your body as peak euphoria is achieved within an exhilarating act. Multiple streaks of semen splutters from your slit—probably up to four, if you can count it right—as Yunjin tries to catch it all but all she can do is cling onto the walls . She is unsuccessful in catching the wholeness of your load but manages to capture a little and with her hunger for your taste, she licks the little amount clean on her fingers, humming soundly as she's satisfied to taste your load again.

“Never fails to amaze me, daddy. So delicious, as expected, hihi~”

She then strokes you slowly, not wanting your hardness to die fast as there's more things to do with her. She knows how painful and sensitive you feel right now and her dainty fingers and dexterity of it aims to get you hard (even though you're definitely rock-hard towards her, still) for her as the last course on the menu is nearing. At least she's a bit concerned about what you want to feel, and also concerned with her own pleasure too. 

“Now, daddy—” Yunjin faces you as both your eyes make contact with each other, sparkling with anticipation and greed. She then made the first move as she thought of something that has been lingering inside her mind since you started fucking her almost senseless. “—you said something earlier about fucking my ass and I was thinking that, maybe, you can fuck me while I see your face, daddy. Don't you love the thought of it?”

Of course you do love it and she doesn't need to ask that. You love how lewd her expressions are—even though you can't see it but deep in your heart you know that her face does those expressions inevitably—while you fuck her like it's your last and the pleasure converting her face into pure submissiveness and lust. Also, to top it all off, you want to do something that for sure, will make this experience more than memorable, written down in the history books of your life.

“Of course I do, Yunjin. I'll hammer your ass hard like what I did to your pussy—I'll gape this tight, little asshole so hard that you'll walk out here wobbly and struggling.”

“Then you'll need to carry me out here, daddy. Fuck me until my legs give out—give me everything you got, daddy.”

The sensitivity fades faster than the speed of light as Yunjin's dirty talk reignites the fuel of lust inside you. Handing you the small bottle of lube in her pocket, you lather a decent amount on your hand and spread it onto your cock. You then command her to bend over in order to have a greater grip in spreading the lube around the rim, and the tight walls of her asshole. She lets out a ragged breath and a moan as the cold liquid comes into contact onto her puckered hole. You continue lathering her asshole with lube and warming her up until she breaks the silence.

“Daddy, I h-have something to confess to you…”

“What is it, Yunjin?”

It takes her several seconds to respond as the pleasure of teasing her asshole with your fingers is getting over the limit of her nerves to handle—it's maybe too much to handle but she never insists you to stop and you won't.

“My ass, hasn't been fucked, yet—and y-you're probably going to be the first one who will open me up in my other h-hole…”

A bold confession to a girl like her is a bit surprising as it feels like she already experienced a lot more than what you could imagine but that expectation falters once it's factual that she still has her anal virginity—you can hear the sincerity in her voice.

“B-But you've experienced this before, Yunjin? Like with your toys and stuff?”

A hint of sweat drips down your forehead as you're a little bit nervous considering that maybe, it is really her first time experiencing a phallic object will be taken up in her ass.

Even though you're driven mad with lust, there's still heart in you and concern came first.

“Yeah… Only a couple of times with a dildo but it never really felt the same but now—” Yunjin holds both sides of your arms as her eyes ignite with seriousness, wanting you to fulfill her needs by feeling your length up in her ass for the first time.

One thing's for sure before you make a move: she'll be tighter than ever, and even may rival the tightness of the gripping walls of her pussy.

Knowing how well-lubed up her rim and your already throbbing length are, you waste no time and impale Yunjin's incredibly tight asshole with your rod. Even with just the mushroom-shaped tip inside her inviting hole, you can't fathom how incredibly tight she is. She eases up her muscles for both of your comfort and slowly, and surely, you insert your length into her deeper and deeper, the lubrication really helping out a lot.

“It s-still feels a bit weird—but anyways, fuck me daddy! I c-can take it!”

“Really, Yunjin? You sure?”

A broken melody escapes her lips and interrupts her moans, “Yes, daddy—please just fuck my ass… I c-can take it.”

And who are you to refuse that? No, you won't and now having a better grip of her ass—and thanks to her anal muscles easing up and helping you fight against the incredible vacuum-like tightness—you start thrusting into her, slowly and delicately, cherish every second of fucking her incredible ass. You spank her buttocks hard as a moan from hers is the response, the moan of need and lust as she smiles almost maniacally at you, feeling euphoric from the experience. 

As much as you want to see her get fucked with her uniform still on—because it's one of your fetishes—you want to see what she's packing underneath that white blouse of hers. You then immediately latch your hands on the buttons of her uniform, undressing it slowly and thankfully, Yunjin doesn't care and wants to get herself naked for you, letting you see what she has in store for you and you're probably going to drool with the sight of that.

Like a prophet, you did predict your own actions almost accurately as undressing her final defense, which is her white-laced bra. With her sheepish expressions maybe because of your possible disappointed judgment, you reassure her as you are met with a perky set of her mounds with taut pink nipples that you're ready to drool over with.

“Sorry if it's not too—”

“You're not sorry, Yunjin—” You up the ante of your pace of hammering her ass as you fondle the soft, pillowy flesh in front of you, making her moan in ecstasy as everything seems going perfect for her. 

“—in fact, I love it so much—mwah—wanna suck on these all night, not gonna lie—fuck, you're incredibly hot, Yunjin.”

“Gah—ahh! Daddy! T-thank you for that. You make m-me feel so good—so, so good, daddy!”

With your frantic pace of thrusts inside her tight hole, you can't help but moan soundly as it feels way too euphoric to be true. Latching your tongue lightly onto her erect bud, she moans in delight, and it is so hot that it keeps you going. You also want to stimulate her so much that you want the dam inside her to break, and considering how she's been touching herself since the start of your anal session, she'll get on her euphoric high in no time.

“Gah—daddy, I'm going to fucking cum! So, so much—all over you, daddy!”

Announcing the nearing peak of her orgasm, you fuck her gaped hole like an animal in intense need, letting the lust and your ultimate will inside you power your hips to do the fastest, most uncontrollable thrusts known to man. Your urge to destroy her asshole and her asshole only is indomitable as the devil inside takes over you, plowing her ass like it's your last. 

You're close and she knows it well considering how much you're throbbing inside her. She knows this and that's why she helps you chase your own orgasm too and hers, wanting to cum with you in unison.

“I'm close too, Yunjin—I'm going to fucking cum balls deep inside this incredible ass of yours—I'm going to fucking cum!”

“Me too, daddy—cum with me, please!”

And there goes everything.

The rush of adrenaline through your veins soon comes to an end and so do your thrusts. You buried down your entire length inside her walls, filling her up to the hilt and the goal has now been achieved: filling her absolutely with thick shots of semen, painting her insides white.

It is euphoric rearranging her guts to the fullest. Groan after groan comes spurts of your load being deposited inside her ass as her moans encourage you for more and so you do. Yunjin herself reaches her high as she sprays her nectar all over your toned abdomen as she comes harder than earlier, leaving her breathless and enervated from the wildest session she had been. After your orgasm has died out, you then slowly pull out of her—and she's still oh-so-tight even though she has been gaped like crazy with your actions—to see what you've done—to see what you've become: a monster, blinded by lust as every drip of white leaks out slowly, out of her asshole. She then reaches for her metallic buttplug and inserts it inside her puckered hole slowly as she doesn't want the cum dripping out of her thighs after she walks out of here—she's still in public, so that makes sense and she doesn't want to get embarrassed.

You filled her well. Too well. She's going to feel that load until later.

Not wanting the moment to die so fast, you initiate another heated kiss with her again as she immediately reciprocates, letting her know how much you loved this moment and how you'll cherish this, forever.

“God, daddy—you still filled me up so well… I'm also sure, you're completely drained, right?”

“Yeah, Yunjin… *coos* I'm way too drained—thanks for this, though. It felt very euphoric—and good. Thank you…”

“No, baby—I need to thank you. You made me feel like this and I never felt this before—like, this felt enchanting, meeting you…”

You faintly smile and face her, blushing from her remarks. You then kiss each other for the last time, wanting to savor the built-up need and lust for this one moment, once more. With a little panic making your heart skip a beat, you then help her prepare herself and yourself, cleaning what you also could so no one will suspect all of the sinful events that happened inside this cubicle.

“I could barely feel my legs though, baby...”

“Oh no—will you get in trouble for that, Yunjin?”

“You'll need to carry me out if here, baby—that's what it means, hihi~”

Panic courses through you as you're shocked on what she said, not prepared on what she's really planning.

“I'm kidding, baby—I can still walk though. I'll just make up an excuse that my feet just feels painful suddenly. Neither of us will get in trouble, don't worry.”

You then slowly unlock the cubicle door, making it “vacant” and then, open it. Yunjin kisses your cheek one more time as a token of gratitude before smiling at you genuinely, her eyes speaking words of being thankful for such an incredibly euphoric session.

“Oh! Before I leave—give me your phone, baby.”

“I d-don't have it on me, right now…”

You know where this is going and you don't want this opportunity to fade away. You frown in disbelief of your phone being nowhere near you as it's on your locker yet with a clever mind like her, she opts for another option, also, not wasting this opportunity.

“Do you… have a ballpen though? Like... any kind?”

That, you do. 

Without any time to waste, you give her your black ballpoint pen as she grabs your hand gently, going to use it as the canvas.

“Hope you don't mind this, baby and… there you go! That's mine, okay? Text me when you get home, okay? I'll be gone for now and… thank you, again—so, so much, baby. You may leave after me for like—uhm… a few minutes so no one will suspect what we did here, baby, hehe~”

And you're now captivated with her. Who are you to blame though? A girl like her will make any other men go crazy but in this moment, she's the only one you see and so she is. You loved this moment and so she did too, and that concludes another exhilarating yet memorable day for you.

You seized every opportunity you had with her at that given moment, and you're glad that you've opened them all up.

“Bye, baby, see you tomorrow—or… maybe later, hihi~”

What a day written into your own history books. It truly is and you wanted more…

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Mini & Moni Music was... interesting, kind of concerning? We really know so little about the members - especially if you're like me and don't watch all the lives and documentaries, and read every book or interview. Even if I did all that, though, I wouldn't know much. The more honest they are, the more obvious it is they're "hiding" so much from us and how little we know them. This honesty unintentionally increases the disconnect between us and them, throwing every memory of them in a different light. A lot of the intimacy we feel/felt isn't real because, sometimes, when they look happy they're actually struggling while we enjoy ourselves and their "happiness".

The thing about RM for me is I've struggled to understand him, even if I probably have more in common with him than other members. The way he expresses himself is very opaque to me. I lack the sensibility, or context, I guess, to understand his thought process.

This special content between Jimin and Namjoon was a bit sad. RM doesn't seem happy. Every year, I feel like he reveals that he wasn't happy in the previous year. Has there been any year where Namjoon didn't suddenly reveal he'd been struggling? Because last year he made it seem as if he'd been doing pretty well, and I guess he was better at some point, while working on RPWP, but he'd been having a really rough time. Hearing him say he had to distance himself from BTS in order to heal (I think in 2023, after Indigo, but also applies to chapter 2 in general?) and Jimin saying the members thought he liked them less now... was sad.

RM really had(s) been struggling with the group. I know Hobi really wanted a chance to do something solo, but Festa dinner still feels mostly like it was brought on by Namjoon. I'm pretty sure Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, Suga, and V would've been fine carrying on with group activities with little to no solo activities, and Hobi only wanted a chance to do something different, not necessarily a big break from the group (I think; I haven't watched a lot of chapter 2 solo content, maybe I'm wrong). But RM was truly "done", to the point where the members felt him pulling away from them... RM popping up during one of Jungkook's live and their whole interaction kind of takes on a new meaning. Jungkook had been really happy to talk to Namjoon, and Namjoon said he missed Jungkook and that they needed to hang out. At the time maybe RM had already created distance between himself and the members so they missed each other a lot and there was a kind of uncertainty in their relationship.

I believe in BTS, but this content has made RM, the leader, seem the least excited about BTS, which may be untrue - contradictory and conflicted feelings can coexist. I kind of became concerned about how they'll return as a group (and what that will sound like...) if RM just looks so burnt out and even regretful about many things in their past (like his seriousness before). I know that each member struggled a lot, and for every hard moment there is a good one RM remembers, but I hope that when he comes back he learns how to enjoy being in the group again (or maybe for the first time; maybe he never really knew how to love the group without feeling weighted down by it). Like he says, RM speaks for the group. Most of Festa seems like him speaking for the group while the group itself didn't share his feelings completely but wanted to support him. It's ironic because RM said he feared that the group only represented his thoughts and not the group's, but I really want to know what the other members think. Suga, for example, has always blamed their hiatus on the enlistment, whereas Namjoon has made it clear that wasn't the main reason.

I don't know, I know the group has been through a lot, including the time they almost disbanded (I say almost, but how close were they, truly? Thinking heavily about something and having the intention of doing it are quite different), but this made me lose confidence in the group a bit, at least in RM. In the eyes of the members he's equated to BTS, but it seems like he's drifted apart from them. That's life, but as a fan it was hard to hear. Maybe they all feel the same, and I'm putting it all on Namjoon... This conversation with Jimin was very negative, but that's not the whole truth, and I shouldn't forget that.

[cherry-holmes]

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña (series)

Chapter 2

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Javi fucked up things with you.

SERIES MASTERLIST PART 3

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: +2.5k

Warnings: none. No use of Y/N.

A/N: Chapter 2 is here! As always I want to thank you for your support! I hope you like this one and be ready for moreeee!🫶🏻✨ I love reading your comments and reblogs, so keep the coming✨

I’m open for requests. Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Din Djarin, Loki, BBC Sherlock, Supernatural…😏

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Work made time fly quickly. You had a lot of paperwork to do every day, and it seemed endless – spending hours reading reports and files and then translating them on your typewriter. However, something had been making the last two weeks feel easier, or better to say, someone.

Every afternoon, Javier Peña visited your office to hand you his and Murphy's daily reports. You wondered when Messina would withdraw Javier's punishment, but you weren't sure if you wanted her to do it. You didn't have a lot of friends at work since your department consisted of only one employee – you. You had some conversations with secretaries and officers during your lunch breaks, but you always returned alone to your small office.

So, when Javier visited and talked with you for at least a couple of minutes, it made you feel less isolated in the demanding work environment. The couple of days when he didn't visit because he was on a raid out of the base, you couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. You became accustomed to the smell of cigarettes and men's cologne that lingered in the air whenever he was around. Sometimes he also smelled like black coffee, and on his roughest days, even like whiskey.

It became a small but pleasant routine, these short daily visits from Javier. You'd sometimes share a funny story or a piece of office gossip, and occasionally, you'd laugh together. Those brief moments helped create a sense of camaraderie between you and the charming DEA agent.

Until one particular day, as Javier handed you the reports, he leaned casually against your office doorframe, a playful grin tugging at his lips. "You know," he began, "I've been thinking. Maybe you and I should grab a drink after work one of these days. Get to know each other a little better, outside of this crazy office."

His proposition took you by surprise. You hadn't expected this kind of invitation. Your mind raced as you tried to decide how to respond. Javier watched you intently, his eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and something else you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You were about to say yes immediately, but you knew better than to let yourself fall into the den of the beast so easily. You had heard a lot about Javier Peña and his charming ways, known to lead any woman to his bed. And although you had been enjoying the friendly conversations with him, you didn't want to rush into anything too quickly.

You met his gaze, your own eyes locking with his. "Javier," you began carefully, "I appreciate the offer, I really do. But, I have to be honest, you have quite the reputation, and I don't want to misinterpret our friendship."

Javier's smirk hesitated, as he tried to process your response. He looked like it was the first time he'd been rejected, and it caught him off guard. He straightened his back and moved his hand as if dismissing the importance of it all.

"Wow," he said with a touch of sarcasm, "I never thought I'd see the day when someone turned down a night with Javier Peña. Guess I overestimated our connection."

His words stung, and you could see a flicker of hurt in his eyes, even though he was trying to play it cool. You had unintentionally wounded his pride, and it seemed he was determined to strike back with a hint of meanness.

"It's not about our connection, Javier," you replied evenly. "It's about respecting boundaries and not rushing into something we might regret later."

«That I might regret later».

He sighed, his tone softening just a bit. "Fair enough. I get it. I won't push," he said, his playful charm replaced by a more somber demeanor. "Let's just forget I ever brought it up. We can stick to our friendly chats. No harm done."

The atmosphere in the room grew tense, and you both lapsed into an uneasy silence. It was clear that your rejection had affected him more than he let on, and you couldn't help but feel a sting of guilt for hurting his feelings.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He didn't mean it.

"I never thought I'd see the day when someone turned down a night with Javier Peña"?

What the fuck was that shit?

As Javier left your office, he felt guilty and embarrassment for saying that. He knew his behavior wasn't correct, but the disappointment he felt really took him by surprise. He had been rejected a couple of times, he was prepared for your possible refusal. But what he didn't expect was the heavy weight he would feel when he heard you saying no.

For weeks, he had been feeling increasingly drawn to you, always wanting to be near you. He even used Messina's punishment as an excuse to visit your office, even after she withdrew it. Javier had finally come to the disconcerting realization that he was infatuated with you. So, he thought that perhaps by taking you out for a drink and even having you in his bed, he would get over it.

But as he got into his truck, he felt truly disillusioned. His ill-advised words had driven a split between you, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had ruined any chance of building something more meaningful. Javier's fear of commitment was something that never kept him awake at night, not even after everything that had happened with Lorraine. He felt genuinely sorry for leaving her at the altar thirteen years ago, but he always told himself that she was much better without him. She needed someone with a lot more commitment than he had. Now, the topic seemed to be haunting him.

He wasn't mad because you hurt his ego; he was mad because you hurt the feelings he didn't know he had.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Javier didn't come to your office again the following week. It wasn't the first time a man stopped talking to you after you rejected him. You were used to it. The moment you made it clear you wouldn't give them what they wanted, they magically lost interest in you, sometimes even resorting to calling you boring or, occasionally, a bitch.

You could sense this double standard in society. On one hand, they encourage women to freely explore their sexuality, which is great, but on the other hand, if you prefer to wait for the right time and the right person, you get labeled as "boring" or "prudish." It's as if there's no middle ground, no understanding that everyone has their own path and timing.

You had always believed in waiting for the right person, the one you truly cared about, to share such an intimate moment. It wasn't about religion, you didn't even believe on the false concept of ''purity'' or ''santity''; it was simply your personal choice.

So you thought Javier was just another man like many. It made you feel disappointed because you really liked him, but there wasn't anything you could do about it.

As you entered the office dining room, you spotted your usual group of female friends. They greeted you, and you joined them. All of you spoke in Spanish.

"Hello" you smiled as you greeted as you took your seat. The chatter at the table was lively, filled with laughter and bits of gossip about the office. These women had become your companions, and you cherished the moments you spent with them during lunch breaks.

As the conversation flowed, one of your friends, Marta, leaned in and asked in a teasing tone, "So, we've been seeing Agent Peña hanging around your office quite often lately. What's the story there?"

The mention of Javier made you pause for a moment, and you glanced at your friends, slightly surprised that they had noticed. "Oh, that," you said, attempting to play it off casually. "It's because of Messina's punishment. She made him handed me his reports."

Ana raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Messina's punishment? Come on, you were chatting for like two weeks straight. That punishment lasts only a couple of days."

You felt your cheeks flush as you tried to maintain your composure. Your friends were sharp, and they clearly had their suspicions. "Well," you began, searching for words, "maybe he did something to bother her again. You know how bossy she can get."

The women at the table exchanged knowing looks, and one of them, Maria, couldn't help but tease, "Hmm, a bad boy indeed. He must really that bad."

You sighed internally. With a sheepish smile, you finally confessed, "Okay, fine. We've been talking a lot. But it's just work-related, I promise."

Marta grinned. "Work-related, huh? Well, you can't blame us for being curious. Agent Peña isn't known for spending that much time in one place, especially chatting with a colleague."

You shrugged, realizing that your friends had seen through your explanation. "I guess we've been getting along. It's nice to have someone to talk to during those long work hours."

Your friends exchanged knowing glances again, and Maria leaned closer, her voice hushed. "Come on, spill the beans. Is there something more going on between you two?"

You hesitated, then decided to be honest. "No, there isn't. It's just work and friendly conversations. Javier is a nice guy, and I enjoy our talks."

Maria leaned in again, her tone more serious this time. "That's good to hear then, because, you know, we found out that he slept with Kelly. You know her, didn't you? The blonde one."

You paused, your heart sinking at the revelation. It didn't surprised you, but you felt a hole in your chest.

"Oh," you tried to composed yourself, "Well for them."

Sofia chimed in, her expression concerned. "Yeah, we just don't want you to get hurt. These things usually don't end well. Men like him, they tend to move on pretty quickly."

"You don't have nothing to worry about," you tell them, mixing your food but you had lost your appetite, "There's nothing between us, so Javier is free to do anyone he please."

The conversation moved on to other topics, but you couldn't help but feel a ache of disappointment and confusion. Why did Javier's involvement with someone else affect you like this? You told yourself it didn't matter, that you had your own principles and choices to stick to. But deep down, something had shifted, and you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You and Javier had crossed paths around the office a couple of times during the following days, but neither of you made the effort to talk to each other. It was a bit awkward, but nothing that you actually mourned. You had heard that he spent at least two more nights with Kelly, until apparently, as you heard from Martha, she asked him to be more than just friends, and he said no. It wasn't a surprise; he had done that to more women at work. Everybody knew him.

On the other hand, Javier was desperate to get you out of his dreams. He told himself that he couldn't put a name to what he felt toward you, but the reality was that he just wanted to accept it. He had feelings for you, more than just wanting to be with you in bed. He wasn't in love - yet - but he did feel something. Your refusal had hit him harder than he expected. He couldn't deny that he cared more about you than he ever thought he would. But he had no idea how to approach you now.

The dimly lit room was filled with the lingering scent of passion and cigarette as Javier stood by the window, staring up at the distant lights of the city. Helena, lying on his bed, propped herself up on one elbow.

"Javi, what's been bothering you lately?," Helena asked, her voice soft and concerned.

Javier turned his head to look at her, his dark eyes meeting hers. He sighed and ran a hand through his tousled hair. "It's nothing, Helena, just work stuff," he replied, trying to dismiss her question.

Helena wasn't convinced. She had known Javier long enough to recognize when something was troubling him. "You can't fool me, Javier," she said with a knowing smile. "I can recognize a heart that's burdened."

He looked at her, his guard dropping slightly. "It's complicated," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Helena knew better than to press him for more details. As she watched Javier's back, her feelings were a complex mix of desire, longing, and a touch of sadness. She had known for a while that Javier was not just her client; she had developed a connection beyond the physical, even though Javier didn't.

She felt a heartache, waves of jealousy running through her veins, knowing that she could never compete with the other woman in his thoughts. Helena understood the nature of their arrangement – she was a hooker, and he was a DEA agent. Their worlds were inherently different, and she had resigned herself to the fact that he would never see her as more than a source of pleasure and information. Yet, despite her own rationalizations, Helena couldn't help but yearn for something more with Javier. She had developed genuine feelings for him over time, even though she knew it was a one-sided affair.

After Helena left his apartment, the night grew darker, and Javier lay awake in his bed, his mind racing with thoughts of you. He couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, and he knew he needed to do something about it. The distraction had reached a point where he couldn't ignore it any longer.

So he had made a decision. Tomorrow, he was going to approach you. He would apologize for the way he talked to you the other day, ask you out for a friendly drink, and see where things could go. It was a bold move for him, someone not accustomed to such personal pursuits.

As he mentally crafted his approach, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of your bright eyes and the way your laughter rang in his ears during those brief conversations in your office. Javier was convinced that there was something special about you, something that drew him in despite his best efforts to resist.

In the morning, Javier waited impatiently during the usual meeting in the office. He couldn't concentrate even when it was his turn to talk about the recent capture of one of Escobar's hitmen. Finally, as they left the meeting room, Murphy approached him and patted his back.

''Everything okay, Javi?'' he asked. Javier tried to keep it cool and waved a hand like it was nothing.

''I couldn't sleep well,'' he simply said as both agents arrived at their workplaces.

Steve chuckled, sitting at his desk and starting to gather all his paperwork. ''You were thinking about her, weren't you?'' he dared to ask. Javier and Steve trusted each other enough to tease one another. They never crossed the line but considered themselves friends.

Peña looked at him with annoyance, but it wasn't deep.

''Shut up, Murphy,'' he groaned as he gathered his own paperwork but didn't sit at his desk.

Steve looked at him with a grin, knowing his partner well enough to guess his next move.

''Two weeks without seeing her, and now you'll use Messina's punishment again as an excuse just to see her? What changed, Javi?'' he mocked.

''I told you to shut the fuck up,'' Javi said as he turned back toward your office, and Steve laughed.

Javier tried to remember the words he had spent the night trying to formulate and memorize. He was actually nervous. But just as he reached your doorway, his heart sank. He saw you engaged in conversation with Diego, another colleague from the office. The sight of you two talking, sharing a moment he wasn't a part of, left him feeling like an outsider. You were smiling, and there was a slight blush on your cheeks.

But not as flushed as she was with me, an intrusive thought echoed in the back of his head. He quickly turned away, his plans disrupted, and retreated to his own desk. Javier couldn't help but wonder if he had missed his chance with you. The uncertainty gnawed at him, leaving him in a state of frustration and craving.

NEXT CHAPTER

[rockybloo]

Getting people interested in your OCs takes a LOT of time. So creating OCs for the sole purpose of getting people interested in them is def draining af and I get why people get frustrated and sometimes just give up completely.

I have been drawing original characters since I could hold a pencil because I love making my own beings I can just do whatever I want with. And I've been posting my OCs since the early 2010s (I had been drawing original characters earlier but it wasn't until I got into middle school that I began posting my art online).

The biggest reason I've been going so long just drawing them, with only sprinkles of fan art in between ever blue moon, is because I genuinely enjoy my characters. I've had an active imagination since forever so I enjoyed imagining them in scenarios and sometimes drawing said things.

I would say, with my full chest, that I didn't really reach any flavor of "popularity" until 2022 which is when I came up with Glitter and Guilt. And I am fairly certain that is where a GOOD chunk of people came from since...I mean who can resist magical girls?

I had been drawing my number 1 favorite baby, Beanstalked, since highschool but, unfortunately, I spent most of that time posting it on a sperate blog from this one and only am I recently sharing art for it here.

I think the only other big source of other people discovering me is from my Red Beans art (Jack x Nana) because prior to 2022, that was like...85% of my art I would make. And while that was on a separate blog as well, I'd at least sometimes reblog it to over here.

Bondwidth also helped a wee bit with getting a couple people interested in me since before Glitter and Guilt showed up, Bondwidth became an active thing I'd post on this blog that kept it alive since, like I said, I had a separate blog for Beanstalked and Red Beans so there was a time long ago where this blog was basically crickets.

I WAS LUCKY TO GET ONE ASK A MONTH TBH

So 2022 was def when I got put on a wider radar thanks to Sweetheart and Bitterbat.

SO YEAH--Getting people to be interested in you OCs is def a time consuming process which is why I say to just keep having fun and blabbering about your characters because in the end, that's the only thing that matters. That you enjoy them.

I couldn't predict when people would flood me because I had been blabbering about my characters for practically 2 decades and I had been a relatively small artist working on a small lil webcomic that I eventually had to reboot because I had a better vision of it.

And then one day I just happened to have designed some OCs people REALLY liked and here we are.

I do get curious about how things would play out if I never made Glitter and Guilt and just kept trucking along with Beanstalked. I would have probably made it to where I am now, given like....an additional 10 years maybe? I dunno how to gauge fairy tale interest--I AM BIASED THO SINCE I LOVE THEM (I get so happy watching walk throughs of little story book forests and Eftling y'all have no idea).

But now I am getting off topic

THE POINT IS

LOVE YOUR OCS AND KEEP DRAWING/WRITING/TALKING ABOUT THEM AND PEOPLE WILL NATURALLY ARRIVE

[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!

But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)

And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.

Ok now for big Project Time!!!

I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.

I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:

BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.

Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)

Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)

Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)

Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.

And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.

Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)

Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation

the ability to request topics for videos

Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)

This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.

Discounts on commissions

A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.

All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh

Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?

If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3

[jacksgreysays]

I'm not sure I've ever told you about the idea, but I did end up getting permission to write a poly Kushina/Minato/Shikako for UnexpectedSensei!Verse. It's been a while since I thought about it though. Have you read UnexpectedSensei!Verse? If so, do you think I should go the funny/crack route or the serious route?

There's this specific version of the song "Still Here" that's Nightcore (but it hits different), and it's giving me serious UnexpectedSensei!Verse Shikako vibes. It's created this incredibly unlikely scenario where the initial candidates for Hokage are decided by some artifact or something playing super epic AMVs of those worthy, and Shikako shows up like the dark horse she is when Sarutobi is looking for a successor. If that makes any sense.

Unsure if these asks were directly related--it would be interesting if they were, but I'm guessing not--but I decided to bundle the answers together anyway, if that's cool.

First, I have read UnexpectedSensei!Verse and very much enjoy the series! It's one of my favorite DoS recursive series and truly contains the perfect amount of serious blended with Shikako's I am seemingly omnipotent and omniscient to everyone else but so blasé about it that it reads as funny/crack.

A poly Kushina/Minato/Shikako for UnexpectedSensei!Verse does sound like a fantastic idea! It kind of hearkens to... and I apologize for how CONSTANTLY I am self referential about these things... the spirit of this extremely short ficlet I wrote in which Kakashi overhears Shikako basically imply that had he bothered to learn fuinjutsu from either or both of Minato and Kushina then so many of his life's tragedies would have been avoided. I mean, but less Kakashi self-blame oriented of course. The spirit behind it being that Shikako, Minato, and Kushina would be an absolutely OP triad of mischievous genii, but with vastly different personalities and thought processes who maybe don't always agree but nonetheless respect (and eventually love) each other.

I may need a link for that nightcore "Still Here," lol.

I think an artifact--or maybe, to lean into that whole... Hidden Leaf and the mysticism of Mokuton, it's an ancient semi-sentient ginkgo tree--that decides the next Hokage or at least generates a report (whether that is in the style of an epic AMV, lol) or something that significantly contributes to the decision of the next Hokage is also very fascinating.

Like, this is a little reverse of what we're going for, but in the show Trese, the main character undergoes a coming of age ceremony by entering an ancient balete tree and basically receiving a vision, but it appears to take YEARS before she comes back out. Which doesn't seem to surprise people. So, it could be something like:

current Hokage (in this case the Sandaime--or, if we don't want to deal with him, we could just say, "person who is potentially deciding on the next Hokage") enters/touches/kneels before the secret semi-sentient ancient tree that lives inside the Hokage mountain somehow or whatever

person speaks a potential candidate's name --> tree gives a vision of whether or not they'd be a good Hokage (perhaps in the style of an epic AMV--I mean, ideally we're looking for cool inspiring hero, but even villains and tragedies have epic AMVs, you know? You can still be entertained even while knowing that person probably shouldn't have control over a military dictatorship)

repeat as needed for however many potential Hokage candidates there are

at end of person's list, perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree offers their own suggestions

perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree, being so ancient and mystical, isn't beholden to time and so doesn't really know how time works for mere mortals

perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree, has been continuously showing an epic AMV of Shikako to EVERY PERSON who has asked for potential next Hokage candidates and is confused as to why it is CONSTANTLY being ignored only for it to FINALLY be given the name Nara Shikako and it's like... YES! THIS IS THE ONE! YEAH! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME! HERE!

Anyway, thanks for the asks, aryaokayfriend! I know these were pretty short responses, and squished together, but I hope you got some fun out of them :D

[c1trvswurld]

A part of me wonders why I fw silco so much and don't with caitlyn (I feel neutral about her), and maybe it's internalized misogyny. Bc while they are both bad in different ways, I can understand silco more/sympathize with his movement oddly enough. And while i also understand that cait is grieving the way she goes full on mask of facist over her mothers death kinda made me roll my eyes (emphasis on kinda) bc in my head I'm just thinking "well now you experience what zaunites go through by your men's hands every single day, you finally directly got to see the fruit of the institution you put no thought into. For these zaunites your enforcership mean life or death. For you, it was just a simple set of orders. " As soon as those things go awry, she turns to dogwhistles. She literally gasses out and terrorizes civilians. She's given a whole knew set of facistic equipment-the language, the hatred, and even the outfit. She turns into every piltie and abandons her empathy. And a part of me wants to get it. Wants to see that she lost someone so important to her and that this is an outburst, but idk I can't. Not when her outburst results in the death of so many.

With silco, I think I can sympathize more on the notion that I've seen revolutionaries like him. In pursuit of something beneficial, they turn to accelerationist ideals, hoping that by causing friction, it'll spark enough reaction for zauns independence. I get that though process, seen in the leftist kinda spaces I'm in, and I know where that comes from. The yearning of something is better now because at least you want to see it while you're still alive. While your loved ones are still here so you can enjoy it together. The only thing I dislike heavily is his hand in shimmer production, and even then, I can only think someone like him wouldn't exist without the hands of enforcers. Without piltovers oppressive resistance. If silco-if vander- if any of these people were rolled different dice and born in a much more kinder world that didn't stomp and divide them simply for what is effectively their zipcode. Forcing them into extremely dangerous labor, disease, and addiction.

I can see how that gets twisted and dulled down amd how at a certain point it just feels like a pursuit of your own happiness till the systems you also creat blow up in your face.

They have a lot or parallels in that sense

Idk I just kinda hate most piltie characters with the exception of mel and jayce otherwise fuck em.

[deerspherestudios]

How do you organise the process of creating a character? like, to me its too confusing, i dont know what i do first because there are TOO MANY THINGS TO DO, like backstory, personality, looks, what they like, so what would be the “steps” to make them?

(Since @isabellaswork asked the same thing recently I'm tagging you here, hope that's okay!) Omg I'm flattered I'm the person you'd wanna ask such a big question ;v;!!? Honestly the process is different for everyone, but I'll give it a go <3 This is how my process usually goes:

Personality first, backstory later. Flesh out the concept of the character before deciding their origin story if that makes sense.

Build a moodboard for your character! The more ideas the better!

Time for visuals! Sketch out multiple iterations, looking at the moodboard for inspiration. Colors go last.

Finalize! Once you've got your final sketch + colors, draw a proper illustration and see if you vibe with the design. Repeat previous steps if necessary <3

Extra: Since you've got the design and story down, add some fun facts. This is where interests, likes and dislikes go!

I'll use my VN characters as examples below in case someone wants it in more detail! Mychael (Mushroom Oasis) and Alma (Lift Your Spirits spoilers!! + horror imagery) process ideation under cut:

Usually I start with personality first. Because for me, when you first meet someone, you see what they're like in the present; their past doesn't matter as much until you get to know them. I can decide the backstory later so it doesn't limit the personalities I'm playing around with. Of course I must have gotten the idea from somewhere so these two things work in tandem most of the time.

Then it's just a matter of how they look!

After deciding on personality traits, I start by collecting references from everywhere, even the smallest of things. I think of how I want them to look plus how they would dress. Anything goes at this stage, so just go buck-wild gathering ideas!

Here's a moodboard for Mychael:

This one was for Alma, from their normal self to their monstrous self:

Then it's time for drawing and doodles. As I sketch, I look back at the moodboard I've made and pick out things I like, while drawing things really loose. Copy paste if I need to!

I've shared the ones for Mychael here, here and here! Here's some sketches for Alma from last year:

This part takes the longest but is always the most fun! Don't feel limited by what you had initially, just test out ideas! Here are the final designs!

Mychael(s):

Alma(s):

Then once I'm happy with the design I can flesh out the backstory as much as I like!!! so long as it fits the presentation of the character in current time. Of course this process can differ when you already have a story in mind and need characters to carry out the plot, but I'm definitely not big-brain enough to make an all-out story like that </3 I just enjoy designing characters visually haha

Oh and just for fun, I like to sprinkle in some extra (but kinda unnecessary) background info. It can be the most mundane thing but it gives them more life (to me at least!) Maybe they drink flat orange soda, or enjoy riding trains at night, or hate the smell of french fries, or think apples are disgusting etcetcetc.

Of course there's like, tips for professional character designing like silhouette, shapes, proportions but I assume this ask was for a more casual approach <3 That's all I could think of if I were to describe my process,,, I hope that answers your question!

To recap:

Start with personality traits and decide backstory later. Or work them together as one. It's more concept than visuals at this stage.

Assemble a moodboard for inspiration. The more ideas the better! Look up anything that might relate to your character if it helps.

Sketch, sketch and sketch again! Keep things loose and free. I usually start from the face, to clothes to accessories. Colors go last.

Finalize! Put everything together in one rendered drawing, and see if you vibe with it. You can always go back to previous steps if you're still not happy with it.

And you're done! :-)

[honeyhotteoks]

in the spirit of the writers' game (except its not actually a question so no presh) do you have any tips on getting integrated into fandom community? i have like 12 bajillion fic ideas bumping around in my head that i wanna gab to someone about but i dont know how i'd like.. get someone's attention without it being.. weird? or like manufactured... i'm reticent to post because so much attention spooks me Out of writing which is like, not the end goal lol

tldr how do i make friends please and thanks but in the least pathetic way possible

this is a great question!! i'll be honest with you, i'm not sure if i'm the best person to answer this, but i'll do my best.

for some context, i'm actually very introverted. i really struggle to make friends both online and in real life. while most of my meaningful friendships are fandom based, typically it's because a pretty extroverted person snapped me up and then i got comfy talking, not really from me doing the outreach first.

when it comes to writing and a writing community, i'm also pretty insulated. i would love to be friends with some of my favorite writers on here too, but honestly i just can never bring myself to reach out, and my adhd is really intense so i tend to miss messages/notifications/engagement when other people reach out to me.

all of that being said, if you're interested in creating a writing space for yourself in this fandom, i do have some advice, and maybe you'll be better at grabbing onto the potential friendships that do come from that, which is the part i struggle with.

to start, i'd recommend becoming an active participant in the reading community if you aren't already. i'd create a fandom blog for yourself here and/or on twitter and use that to just start engaging with fic you like - reblog stuff and add fun tags, compliment the authors you're loving, drop messages off anon from that account if that's something you're comfortable doing. just start getting your username and your pfp on people's pages more and more. (this is one of those reasons i'll never change my username or my pfp btw, people know this as me and they've known that for a long time so in a small way it's kind of my writer's brand)

then think about what you're writing or want to write. is it big multichaptered work? smutty oneshots? romantic imagines? list-style stuff / scenario stuff like "hyung line headcanons" etc? figure out what you feel compelled to write, not just ideas, and start to write them. write them for yourself even if they're "bad" or unpolished and just enjoy that process a little bit while you're engaging as a reader / casually making fandom connections.

once you feel like you might have ideas to share, i think it's completely fine to make a post asking if anyone would want to beta read or if anyone else would want to talk about fics/headcanons etc. if you really want someone to connect with before you ever post your fic, i think this is the best way. i personally don't love messages asking me if i would be willing to read or edit someone's fic because to be honest that's a huge undertaking and i always find i'm too critical / take it too seriously. i also think when it's done this way it kind of makes the relationship a little awkward overall.... some people might be okay with it and i might be overthinking it, but that's just how i feel in general. BUT if you find people by asking the community and people are reaching out to you, that's completely different imo and i've done that in the past in other fandoms.

then once you're ready to throw a hail mary and post something, whether it's beta read or not, i'd recommend taking some time to do the following:

consider the look of your post and the aesthetic. people are so much more likely to click on it if it's formatted well and has some kind of a header image. go look at what other people do, what you like, and what you want your fic 'look' to be.

edit, and edit again. i know it's exciting to want to post asap, but if you're nervous, read it again. in my opinion, fic that you post should be fic that you want to read. if you're struggling to read your own work because something is a little clunky or you find yourself skimming it...... someone else might feel the same

post it at the right time. you don't need to be a marketing major and try to like drive engagement, but if you post it at 3am on a sunday i promise you people will miss it, and then you'll be struggling with the feeling of why did no one like my fic that i spent hours on etc.

your first fics aren't going to get much attention. that is totally okay! keep going, keep trying, and over time you will find your audience.

reblog reblogs.... if you get a reblog of someone adding tons of tags / fun comments / a review of your work etc., reblog their reblog and thank them! answer questions! engage! opening that door in this way as a writer will help build a little community of your own.

i would say that over the last three years here i've gained a little community of my own. i have consistent readers, anons and mutuals i recognize, people that i look forward to engaging with every time i post something even if they don't realize it. that means SO much to me as a writer, but truly it took a long time to create that space for myself here. admittedly though, even with that being true, i really struggle with connection but that might not be apparent to people just following my blog. i guess this is all to say, comparison is the thief of joy. as you start to create your own space here, reader or writer, don't spend time looking at other people and other blogs and wishing you could have xyz too. focus on what you truly want, what makes you happy, and do it for the love of writing. the rest will surely follow in time. 💛

[winglesswriter]

Writerly Questionaire

I was tagged by @theink-stainedfolk and @willtheweaver.Thank you, guys, this looks like fun! ❤

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

When I was about 6yo. My mom wrote down my first story about a lonely squirrel :D

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I write the same genres as I enjoy reading

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Not emulate really, but I look up to K. J. Charles, Cat Sebastian, and Ginn Hale

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I'm currently building a new writing nook in a new apartment :D I§m looking forward to having a nice space for my writing because I used to write in my bed which is less than ideal for my back.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Inspiration usually isn't a problem. Give me some music or a picture and ideas will flow. It's much harder when it comes to finding time, energy, or motivation.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Not really.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Yes there are and yes they do :D I'm surprised how often my characters have to unlearn things and how many of them struggle with self-worth (even though that shouldn't be so surprising when I'm the one writing them)

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Right now I'm pretty obsessed with Deril Hendersen. Mostly because he's new and I'm developing him, but also because he's the villain that the hero falls for and I've never written anyone like him.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Definitely with Jan Xiaoli because he's loveable and sees the best in people. Maybe with Ikath because I tend to befriend very girly girls and they seem to be attracted by my gender nonconformity.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Lothir because he's everything I hate. I'm afraid we would clash with Shi Saxe and Yarren because we have too much in common (we are all stubborn assholes).

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Half of my MCs started with an image of a real person or were inspired by a different character. The other half I created as their love interests.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Yes, they are all assholes :D I also tend to pair a slutty one with a virgin.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

I imagined them as real people (even though some of them start from real-life inspiration they eventually get their own unique appearance) but I also like to make artwork depicting them.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Uh... to shut the voices in my head? Or give them a purpose at least. Also, I think there's still not enough stories where queer people go on adventures or save the world. Especially not adult ones.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I love all the comments. But it's especially great when readers pick up on something I thought they wouldn't

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I don't really want people to perceive me, I just want them to enjoy my stories :D But if I must choose I'd say I want them to think of me as a queer person who understands and shares queer joy.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think my greatest strength is dialogue and making characters plausible. And I'm pretty good with pacing.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Telling a lot in a few words, dialogues, strong characters (even the side characters), and interesting worldbuilding.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I know it's not very common so I almost feel ashamed to say it, but I'm proud of my writing. I'm good and I work hard to be better.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. It would still be a great way to escape reality and entertain myself.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I write purely what I enjoy and hope that someone else will like it too :D

Wow, that was pretty hard but now I'm interested in other people's answers so I'm tagging a lot of you! Please feel free to ignore it.

@pcm-vandermeer, @wolgerrswraith, @vinniehorrible, @sunset-a-story, @words-after-midnight

@oh-no-another-idea,  @lychhiker-writes, @wanderingcas, @tylerjflynn, @sergeantnarwhalwrites,

@buffythevampirelover, @ramwritblr, @druidx, @coffin-hopping, @author-a-holmes

[kcrabb88]

I only just saw the “get to know your fic writer” post, so I hope you don’t mind that this is a little late: 3, 4, 31, 56, 58, and 65!

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Hahaha well, I think my process is particular to me, and maybe a little chaotic from the outside, but I've fine-tuned it for myself, if that makes sense? Some people consider themselves plotters and some consider themselves pantsers, but I'm some weird mix of both. I start with a broad outline and then a scattered list of notes. I add to the outline as I go as ideas come to me, and I do get a lot of ideas as I write. The act of writing itself really drives my entire process. While I know things before I start, I'm not someone who is going to know every detail, and I'm very willing to go with the flow of where the writing takes me.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Music gives me a lot of ideas! And also things I'm watching or reading. I've gotten ideas from going to a museum or even seeing another post online. I think my main source is just engaging with other artforms generally and refilling that "creative well" as some people call it. I think one thing I'm very determined to do is to write the ideas I want to write whether I think they'll be popular or not. And yes, sometimes I roll on the floor like why don't I have ONE MILLION KUDOS or whatever, like any writer I take hits to the ego but still, I want to write what interests me. That's the thing that keeps the inspiration going through longer work, too.

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Most of the time what I start with, where the initial idea comes from is an image of two (or more) characters doing something. Often this is in the middle of a fic (so helpful!) and I have to build around that. So, character, I think. To me, though, character drives plot, so they go hand-in-hand in the end. For example, I got the idea for Blood Makes Noise when I was in a museum in New York, and I got an image in my head of Obi-Wan in flannel and Quin in a leather jacket at an ACT UP protest. I got a flash of little Anakin and wondered if they could end up adopting him. I thought to myself, I think they would fit well in that era. So I built everything up around that initial image.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I think my characterization is good? And I also think, or at least have been told before, that my writing is "cinematic" and I'm really proud of both of those things!

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 

Maaaan tough choice! I really like all of it, but probably the actual writing itself. There's nothing better than having a scene in my head and itching to get it down on paper.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm really excited to get to a scene in Kill the Lights where the myth that I created for that fic will come full circle! I'm sure when I started out with that in the very scene people were like "Katie, what is this" but I did have a plan! And I'm super excited to execute that plan. That whole fic has stretched my creative muscles a lot.

Get to know your fic writer!

[emotionally-charged-arson]

Avantasia - Moonglow: Earbook Notes and Text Interview

I've been meaning to post these for a while. All the little extras from the Moonglow earbook, for posterity. This and Moonflower Society (which I'll do soon enough) have been collecting dust on my shelf for a while. May as well share them with the masses. Absolutely fascinating insight into Tobias Sammet's writing process and really got me to hear the album as intended, purposefully vague as that intent may be.

Moonglow: an interview with Tobias Sammet on the New Album

What made you decide to create Moonglow and carry on with Avantasia - when it was originally just a little side project?

Tobias: I had that music in me, those songs, those lyrics and the longing to somehow let it out. I believe that if you take art seriously and don’t do it just for what is expected or reasonable to the world around, you can’t really come up with a plan and a strategy. If you are honest, intuition tells you what to do.

When did you start working on the material and when did you know that there was going to be a new Avantasia album? 

Some of the ideas came when we were doing our previous album Ghostlights, but sometimes it’s the wrong time to work on a particular song, sometimes you don’t find access to an idea and then you shouldn’t push things. On the other hand we had too much material for Ghostluight anyway, so I put some of it on the backburner. After Ghostlights was done I just kept writing music but I knew I wasn’t under pressure of delivering anything soon. I enjoyed the situation to be without a contract and deadlines for a new album. Of course, we had to come up with the 25th anniversary compilation of Edguy which was quite an amount of work, the book and the DVD and all that. But we didn’t have to deliver a complete new Edguy album, so there wasn’t any creative pressure. I kept compiling ideas in my spare time as always, and at some point I realized that these new ideas clearly were Avantasia songs. 

The material sounds quite embellished and put together with lots of love for detail, almost sophisticated in passages, was that something you did on purpose? 

No, I didn’t think much about it. The whole process spanned over two years, there was a lot of time to write something, put it aside and wait and think about it and go back to add something. I had built my own studio and I was really working a lot in there, a magical place with good old valve equipment. A cozy retreat, sounding great. I spent a lot of time there to think about the details and try out things. It was the first production I used it for. Even on previous albums we had always paid attention to every tiniest detail, which isn’t necessarily common in traditional Heavy Metal these days which makes our music a bit more… I don’t know how to put it, “fragile,” maybe? At least it adds an undertone of subtlety which I kind of miss in Metal music today. However, this time we went even further. Many things are layered, there are a lot of subtle things going on. Strangely the parts are rich in detail and subtle, while the sum is loud and flamboyant. That’s weird, isn’t it? 

That’s why we’re given the instrumental versions on the bonus disc? To discover the details? 

Yes, and even though we had done that with previous albums before, especially this time there is a good reason for that. You’ll hear it when you’ll listen to the instrumental versions of the tracks. But whatever is going on there, we only do what supports the main idea of the song. Nothing must interfere with the quintessence of the main theme of a song. I don’t get music where everybody plays against everybody and they’re all great players and in the end you wonder who in the band is playing which song. And why!

Usually, what do you come up with first, the music or the lyrics? 

There’s no regularity. A lot of what U do happens subconsciously. Sometimes I just have an idea for a lyric, but mostly it’s the music first as I am a musician first and foremost. Yet, lyrics do mean a lot to me personally. There’s nothing wrong with an instrumental, but a bad lyric can ruin a song for me, and writing lyrics is important to me personally as a way to amplify the music and also to express myself. I have concepts and ideas, and sometimes I am furious or sad, angry or whatever. And I let it out. Every now and then a lyric is born from pure hedonism, but it needs to support the music. 

Speaking about the lyrics on Moonglow, is there a concept behind the songs?

Yes, there is. But I don’t want to dissect it, because it is meant to speak to the listener. You will always fail reading someone an instruction to a poem. Lyrics unfold their allure just by their words, not by an explanation. I could give you hints, but you better listen and feel what’s in the words that speaks to you personally. Dissertations by the author ruin the impact. 

The usual question would have been: what is the story of the album? 

Now, the imaginary sub-title of Moonglow is “The Narratives of a Misplaced Entity.” Each song is a picture of a misfit that is thrown into the world of the bold and the beautiful. He’s confronted with a bright and glossy reality which he can’t find a place for himself in. He begins to seek shelter turning to the dark. And darkness seems to offer him a gate out of misery…

So is it a rock opera again? 

I am not sure, I like the term “Rock Opera,” it sounds strong and it gives you an idea of the fantastic world that you are invited to step into, with different characters. Yet, these are individual lyrics, a collection of songs weaving together to a coherent world. I have been told by music industry people that “rock opera” is not a good term to approach kids, too old fashioned a term. But then, I don’t really care. My goal was neither to write a Broadway Musical with big drama, nor to be flavour of the week. I wanted to create a fantastic world that would be a great frame for very personal lyrics, maybe some of my deepest ever. I wanted each song to make sense of its own and fit in the bigger picture that is the entirety of Moonglow. I didn’t think about an arc of suspense because to me that would equal a limitation to the poetic approach. 

But you have a strong line up of guest vocalists to sing different roles again? What are these roles? 

Every singer is a counterpart giving a view from a different angle, an additional character in each song. Your imagination will connect the dots. 

Where do you find inspiration? 

In my own life, my childhood, my professional life and thinking of the challenges and difficulties we’re all confronted with. Feeling like a sore thumb sticking out. As a kid I felt different, then I seemed to find shelter in the Rock world where it took only two records until I felt different again. There are confines and conventions. In your life you are surrounded by people with expectations that a human being with an own vision is bound to fail. When you are sensitive it’s even worse, you don’t want to let others down but it begins to eat you up. You need to acquire a certain amount of stubbornness to protect yourself against burning out. To me writing about it helps, to let things out and weave a fantastic world around it. It’s easier to attach all the feelings to some anonymous homunculus freak in a Bram Stoker type story than writing “when I was a kid my friends put me in a trash barrel.”

Somewhere you said, you wrote most of the album in England…

Some of it. I need a certain environment more than a high gloss recording temple. In England they hesitate to tear down an old building for example. They rather call it vintage or full of character; and then they charge you twice as much. I love their respect for history and tradition. Recently I read an article about psychogeography and if I got it right some intelligent scientist folks have found out that people like me aren’t necessarily crazy. Certain landscapes, buildings, even light situations have a strong influence on my creativity. I was in England quite often recently, and I’d sit in an old pub with a beer, surrounded by Victorian buildings and after a while I was in a different world. And it had nothing to do with the beer. I love Edgar Allen Poe and occult ghost stories, Hammer Studio films and I’m also into the Victorian revival of the Gothic Novel. Moonglow is the world of foggy, eerie streets in Victorian England, its bridges and manor houses at night. 

Do you consider Avantasia a project or a band? 

It’s a solo project with treasured guests. I do things as I please without having to ask anyone, I make the decisions but it all couldn’t be done without the support of amazing guest musicians and a producer called Sascha Paeth who is the best musician I have ever met in my life. He;s a prodigy, the hands that translate my humming to riffs, he will suggest that we should cut off a part and he will make a huge mess of 120 recorded tracks sound great. Sascha helped me become much better as a musician because I had to rise to the challenge of clicking with him on his level which hurts when you are a young musician and you are not ready to work work work. He’s beyond words! Micheal Rodenberg is unbelievable too, especially when it comes to arranging an orchestra with all its details. Then of course the singers and the rest of the band, they are the cream. I mean, what would Starlight sound like without Ronnie Atkins? What would Alchemy sound like without Geoff Tate? Bob Catley has inspired me in so many ways. You can pick anyone who;s on the record. It’s a solo record but also a team, and when we hit the road it’s a family. These people are my friends and the foundation of  our working relationship is joy and mutual respect. They have all earned their spurs a million times. To answer the question: it’s Avantasia! A solo-project-band-tribe with guest stars who become family members. 

Are there any singers that you wanted to have that didn’t accept the invitation to be a part of Moonglow? 

When outside people throw in names I am always a little confused. “Ask him!” “Get her!” “Invite Paul McCartney!” “Get Bugs Bunny!” Well, the term all-star-band is a tempting marketing phrase, but Avantasia shouldn’t be a trophy collection. It’s about songs that are sung by unique singers whose voices are special and suit a certain song, passage, mood or character. Yes, I write a passage, having Bob or Jorn on my mind, and then it's a blessing when these great vocalists finally turn a song into something unique. But it is always about the song and the singers with the type of voice that gave you the inspiration to write a certain passage. I do not want to make Avantasia gimmicky.

Your fans have been asked to submit questions to you, here are some of them:

How do you manage to change the song's keys several times in a song without losing the flow of the song? Is that something you do on purpose?

Not losing the flow certainly is. But the key changes happen naturally. I write on a piano which I believe makes understanding harmonics easier as opposed to composing on a string instrument. Changing keys makes it interesting. When you've written 10 or 15 albums in one musical genre, it's always a challenge to do something distinctively yours and not be boring. At some point you'll end up adventuring through different keys to keep things exciting and once you feel safe doing it you stop realizing you're leaving the original key beyond the typical Desmond-Child-three-half-tones-up final chorus thing. It's fun. Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, they all went through different keys in one piece. And classical music is still the foundation of what we do. Classical music and Blues, and Iron Maiden of course.

Some people think that you have moved away from Power Metal and become something different throughout the years. They ask if you consider returning to the sound of your first albums one day?

I don't think about those things, I let things happen. You can't force it, then it becomes insincere and you're not Metal but plastic. I can honestly swear that I never denied my roots and identity, I just laid off shackles and allowed myself to let in a bit of diversity. What's the difference between Hard Rock and Metal?

Was Dio Hard Rock? I read that Kiss were considered Metal when the term Heavy Metal was brought to the table in the early 80s. Who defines the terms, who is the doorman next to the pigeonhole deciding who's gonna be granted admission and who won't? Do I really want to go in a club that wants to keep others out who don't belong? And who makes the rules? Wikipedia? Will I listen to my heart or to Wiki-pedia? And then: Is taking Wikipedia as a reference Metal? Is Maiden Metal even though they don't use double bass drums? And - most importantly: who cares? I don't want to sound disrespectful, but I am 40 years old, music style discussions don't mean that much to me anymore. We got a little more diverse, I can't see any tendency towards a certain style or away from another. Call me Power Metal and I proudly agree, call me Epic Rock or Symphonic Metal, that's alright too. Avantasia is Avantasia. It feels great and if you ask me, most of it doesn't suck when you listen to it, too.

People are interested in the influence you have on the cover artworks of Avantasia albums, and how you got into choosing the painter of the new one.

It's been done by a Swedish artist named Alex Jansson who illustrates books for kids usually. I ran into his illustrations and I was blown away, because even though some were cute, some had a real grotesque intensity. They were enchanting and innocent, yet they had a shade of eeriness. And they were different to anything 1 had seen in the Metal world. I gave him some of my lyrics and asked him if he'd come up with something that would symbolize the main character of Moonglow entering a different world... The Moonglow world. He did it, and I love the picture.

When you write lyrics, do you first start out in German and then translate what you want to say or do you write in English from the start? The question was asked because you sometimes tend to use words that are not commonly used in the English language of today, how do you come up with your lyrics?

I write in English from the start. I do not have that much of an attachment to German when it comes to poetry, which is weird. I don't know why, it's programmed - English is the ink I am drawing with. Sometimes of course I look for a different metaphor or word and occasionally I have to take a dictionary. And sometimes my grammar is weird, but then I advocate artistic freedom and of course, I am Ger-man, my English speaking friends forgive me. I read English books mostly, and the books I read are usually old and deal with certain topics, that may bleed through in my lyrics. Eric Martin once joked about how he imagines me sitting at home all day with this dictionary "Encyclopedia of long forgotten words that nobody knows but that do rhyme to something common", trying to find words, but this is not the case. I lust love new metaphors, and sometimes I have to look things up.

1 don't try to use elaborate language, I am not such a person, not in German and not in English, I talk the way I talk, not the way I think I should talk to come across a certain way.

Are your stories based upon your own personal experience?

Yes, of course. I mean, I see art and creativity as an outlet for something I carry around and that needs to get out and be said, as if you write something off your soul, a letter that you don't send to someone. Everything I do is heartfelt, even the most simple hedonistic lyrics I write. Of course, The Metal Opera was a story based on the spiritual quest of a 20 year old with a limited vocabulary to create metaphors with. The good intention is there, but you are 20 and very young. You don't know how to phrase things and how to get your view on things in the right order. You don't even know what to think. That album was also fueled by my interest in the middle ages, in the devil, in the historical tradition of the dark era of the inquisition and persecution of heretics. Of course what you write is amplified and it has gone through a filter to anonymize things and create a story that is open for interpretation, but there is something of myself in there. You know, even the most angry lyrics like in Edguy's "2 out of 7" or "Space Police" are heartfelt. Some may think they are hedonistic or goofy, but some people are functioning on a different frequency and that's okay. Yes, my stories and lyrics are based on personal experience

Have you ever thought about releasing the stories of the Avantasia albums as books?

Not really. I mean, I could rewrite them and I am working on a story that would be home to all the individual lyrics on Moonglow. The Metal Opera would work as a fantasy novel, The Wicked Trilogy too, but down the line there is one issue. A book needs arcs of suspense. A collection of intertwining poems isn't necessarily a story with a flow and an arc of suspense that would meet the entertainment requirements of the 21st century, I think these things are different worlds. I am not interested in writing an opera that would work as a movie or book with individual songs portraying each bit of a storyline... "Noooow they gooooo across the wooooods". No, I want to write short poems in music and put them together within one frame.

Can you describe your writing day? Are you just writing during daytime like an 8 to 5 job or do you write when you have an idea? How do you combine your writing session with your daily family life?

I write whenever an idea pops up in my head. Then I capture it by humming it into my phone or computer or if I have a piano around, I try to find out, what the harmonics in my head look like on the keys. Because a great melody is always based on the right chords. They are mutually dependant. Sometimes I know the chords and hum the melody first and then the chords afterwards, tapping the beat on my thigh. When I really go playing around with ideas and trying to sort things and try out details, when I arrange stuff, I like to work at night or before noon and the light situation is very important to me. It depends on the right mood. My family are alright with it, they accept that I'm nuts.

You also do a radio show on German radio?

Yes, 3 hours every week, you can listen to it via stream or satellite radio wherever you are, and of course via normal radio in the middle of Germany and up in the Northern parts. It's great fun, I stumbled into doing it when doing promotion for something, I was at the station of RadioBob to do a live interview with some of their hosts and I said "look at all these knobs, I can do that too". And they hired me. My wife said "Alice does his show on RadioBob, Joe Elliott has a radio show, Nikki Sixx has got one, you will have yours". And here I am and I enjoy it. I listen to music again. As a fan, not as the singer of Edguy or Avantasia. It is great fun and they told me there are a lot of people listening from all over the world.

Can you tell us something about the forthcoming Moonglow World Tour?

Yes, it will be massive. We will play long shows, we will have a great line up of many well known guests, I am not sure I am supposed to talk about the guests yet, but a lot of the singers on Moonglow will join the tour. It will be hard to come up with a setlist, as I guess we'll have to play many songs off of Moonglow, but as we'll do this tour and then most probably rest for quite a while, we'll have to play a best-of set in a way, or a combination of our band hits, the big old songs and the new material. We're touring rarely and we don't know if and when it is gonna happen again, so we better deliver everything people will want to hear.

Moonglow - The Narratives of a Misplaced Entity

Track by Track With Tobias Sammet

GHOST IN THE MOON

"Ghost In The Moon'' is a wonderful opening track. Yes, it's 10 minutes long, and it's quite unusual as it has two different choruses. It starts with chorus A, then there are two choruses B after verse one and verse two and then there are two choruses A in different keys in the end again. The whole song structure is really different, a lot of harmonic changes, tempo changes, in the middle we have a break-down section where you get the feeling that a different song starts. It's quite cinematic I think. I call these kinds of songs Christmas songs as they have a Christmas-ish appeal, very wintry, very enchanting. 

Originally I wanted this song to be a duet but after we had recorded it Sascha insisted that none of my vocals should be removed which I took as a compliment and even though I tend to fight for having things my way when I am convinced that something has to be done a certain way, I agreed in such a case. The backing vocals were sung by four amazing vocalists who are usually working for Musical and Theatre shows, very soulful voices that gave the song a Gospel feel. We had that kind of sound in mind, a bit Rocky Horror Picture Show but still Hard Rocking, and even though something is planned in advance, you aren't prepared for what you witness when you finally hear such voices in a room laying down the vocals of the real thing. It was mind-blowing. It took us quite some time to record the backing vocals for this one. The atmosphere is really unique, it's an epic version of "Mystery Of A Blood Red Rose.”

BOOK OF SHALLOWS

Book Of Shallows is one of the first songs of which we had arranged parts. It laid around and sounded quite simple and it was just half finished for a while, up to the second chorus to be precise. The whole mid section was attached much later.

Also the anthemic keyboard and guitars, the opening lead melody came only way later, when I was sitting in a hotel and listening to the song and found something was missing. 

Usually I hold the opinion that in certain types of music you can't write the chords and the foundation of the basics underneath without a vision of what's happening in the foreground melody-wise. I know that some bands say"someone writes the chords and someone else the melody". To me that doesn't make sense, yet of course someone may end up getting good results working like that. But I rather want to know which effect a certain chord will have in combination with a melody. The idea of the big picture will give you the sole valid reason to opt for a certain chord somewhere. Chords are required by melodies and vice versa and it should go hand in hand. In Metal it's often like that: someone does a sausage of chords and riffs and leaves it to someone else to do something with it. This way you leave the songwriting job to someone who's gotta come up with something great having to deal with given parameters. Of course in certain music styles that may work, but not in anthemic music styles, in something based on the harmonics of Classical Music, I think.

Anyway, in Book Of Shallows the melody on the intro riff was a try and error thing that I put on there afterwards as the original idea sounded like something essential was missing. Now as a finished piece of music the song sounds very tidied up even though it's got many different elements. It's one of the heaviest tracks I ever did, even though the first verse sounds very melancholic. The whole song is one big increase of energy, Jorn and Ronnie did a wonderful job as always, just being them.

I always wanted to work with Mille Petrozza of Kreator again. He is a good friend and we've known each other for almost 20 years, a very intelligent artist and a great guy. I had worked with him 15 years ago when he sang some guest vocals on Edguy's Hellfire Club album, and "Book of Shallows" needed some extreme aggression vocally. It sounded scary and exactly the way it was meant to sound.

With Hansi of Blind Guardian I had worked in the nineties already, I have known him for a very long time. A very nice guy and a great singer. And I can't thank him enough.

When Edguy was starting out, when nobody knew about us he supported us, contributing guest vocals on our second official album back in 1997 and helped us get some recognition. If I remember correctly I thought about having him on the Metal Opera album as well, but he was very busy at the time. Now, years later, I had those songs that were a perfect fit for his voice. And he opens his mouth and it sounds like him and no one else. After the second chorus there is a passage for which he did his own backing vocals. It sounds like a massive Blind Guardian choir, so his voice must play a huge part in making Blind Guardian sound like Blind Guardian. Well, it's obvious!

MOONGLOW

There is a little bit of a Mike Oldfield influence in there I think. The instrumental basics of the song were written in 2015 but it didn't seem to belong on the Ghost-lights album, if I remember correctly back then the question was: Should we take "Isle Of Evermore" or the "Moonglow" song? As I previously said, it breaks my heart but you have to put songs aside sometimes to make up your mind or for whatever reason. And sometimes you have to put great songs like this on the backburner. It was a jewel in the rough from the beginning and Candice Night has made it shine. Now was the time to retouch the song and model it and release it. A song will let you know when it's ready to correspond with your creativity and when you're ready to complete it.

THE RAVEN CHILD

The song's basic key elements had been written around 2012 or 2013 but I couldn't connect to it back then. Sometimes you find access to an idea immediately and sometimes you feel that it has potential but you realize that it's simply the wrong time to work on it and you better put it aside for a while. I had so many other ideas for our previous albums Ghostlights and The Mystery of Time, I didn't see the necessity to fall back on this particular song. When we put it aside years ago its working title was "Fearraven" as we had thought it felt a bit like "The Scarecrow" even though that similarity wasn't intentional. Without having been told about our impression Jorn said in the studio that this could be a sequel to "The Scarecrow" So there must have been something universal about our perception.

I have to say that this song really benefited from the months and years we gave it to grow. I wrote a Celtic overture, a Celtic breakdown after the second chorus which Miro arranged beautifully. And I really enjoyed creating the middle section where the tension builds up, with the layered canon type vocals, the Gregorian elements and letting it explode into a Black-Sabbath or Heaven-and-Hell type up-tempo grande finale. Hansi Kürsch added so much magic to the song, and Jorn is Jorn, what else can you say? In the production we gave the song whatever it needed. We need Gregorian chants? Let's ask Billy King, the guy who does vocals for the World-music project "Gregorian" to do the monk thing. I wish I had been able to work with him for The Metal Opera! We need a Celtic Harp? Let's get a real one and get the greatest Celtic Harp player one can find, Nadia Birkenstock.

There is a lot of love for detail in that song; and on the whole record. And the result shows that it's worth it to give ideas time to grow, to simply put them aside when you can't find access to them. Lyrically the song is rooted in the psychic life of the main character, it's about conviction and the intolerance you have to face when you follow your belief. I have always been fascinated by the Cathari's fate and the myth of the last night at Montségur has influenced the song in a way. The whole legend is a manifest of intolerance clashing with the volition to be yourself. It's about conviction and strong principles to not let expectations water down your own conception of life. It's about hiding yourself away in the last retreat, being besieged and knowing that something's near to break your spirit and simply smoke you out if you don't fit in someone else's concept. The main character's last way out is turning to the dark... I think it's one of the best songs I have ever written, I am really proud of it.

STARLIGHT

"Starlight' is a paradoxical song. It has quite an easy-listening feeling to it, not too heavy, not too soft, a moderate tempo, conceivable chord progressions and har-monies, and yet it's got something intensely melancholic. In the beginning after it was written when it was in a very pure and raw form I never really had an idea what this song was and where to put it and what to think about it. But then with the lyrics and once it was all sung and recorded it was beautiful. The phonetics in the chorus are quite smart too. I am proud of this, because I think the amount of syllables and the phonetics add a lot of drive and get the song the right balance of melancholy, sadness and that uplifting powerful element as a counterpart.

This song is so Ronnie-Atkinsish. Because he also has those two paradoxical sides to his voice, something deep and melancholic and when a song needs to take off he switches to his roaring Metal voice. Once Eric Martin said on tour.

I advocate Ronnie getting twice as much as everyone else, because he is two different singers in one body." And he can party like four of us!

INVINCIBLE

This was originally just the intro to the song "Alchemy,” but it became a breathing entity of its own even though lyrically and musically it is closely attached to "Alchemy.” "Invincible" deals with what we're often told, in the music business but also in everyday life: be tough and don't let things get through to you. Frankly, the character in the story is confronted with requirements he can't meet, to not be subtle or fragile. Geoff Tate did such a wonderful job on it. He had delivered an amazing performance on the previous album and when we shared the stage for the first time I was blown away by how good he is. We talked about recording atmosphere and about how great it is to actually make music together in a room.

So we said let's meet in a studio and record parts for the next album together, old school. And that's what we did. Geoff is a very nice person, good sense of humour, a real artist, a wine lover, great to work with and it's uplifting to share the stage with him.

ALCHEMY

That's the song that gave birth to "Invincible", because "Invincible" is the overture to "Alchemy" in a way. It's a very powerful and heavy song, almost Rammsteinish when it comes to the riffing. Yet it has some very classic anthemic Metal and Classic Rock elements. I thought it would be great if Geoff would pull some of his theatrical trademark Queensryche-Empire-Mindcrime-style-vocals out of his hat - and wow! - he can still do that like no one else. A thousand vocalists have tried to sound like Geoff in the past 35 years, but he has that frequency in his tone that is distinctively Geoff. When I was a kid I wanted to be able to sing like Michi Kiske and Geoff, Michi had been influenced by Geoff too, we all tried to borrow from Geoff at some point in our lives, but Geoff is Geoff!

The song is about influential people trying to tell the character what is good for him, it's about someone trying to get the best of you by manipulating you, so you lay off your identity and do as you're told. Switch off your visions and Svengali is gonna make you happy! That's what you're told by megalomaniac art industry execs all the time, through the centuries I believe: Lay off your personality and bury your longing, because if you don't interfere but deliver, we can turn crap to gold. And if I turn on the radio, I am afraid they seem to be right...

THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN

It was song number 13 we did. I remember that because the working title was

"Song 13". It wasn't planned to be such a long song, I wanted it to be a powerful uptempo song that would get to the point immediately. And it got to the point immediately but then the midsection got longer and longer and we had two pre-choruses. And in the end it all made sense but it was over 7 minutes long. I tried to cut it short but wherever I tried to edit a part out, it didn't seem right. And of course who would I need to cut a song for? If it feels right the way it is, then it is right. What I like about the song is how it features so many guest vocalists and yet it doesn't sound as if it would have been put together artificially, to me the flow of the song is very natural and it sounds as if made from one piece.

The title has nothing to do with Pink Floyd, it's been inspired by the God Pan in horror literature. The lyrics itself belong to the world of our main character.

LAVENDER

That's so Bob Catley. I love him and I love Magnum. Bob is a true legend and whatever he sings is filled with life and his magical British storytelling timbre.

This man has sung so many legendary tracks, he has been so influential to me breathing his soul into Magnum songs like "On A Storyteller's Night" or "Don't Wake The Lion", and later into my songs like "The Looking Glass". "The Story Ain't Over" or "The Great Mystery", it's extremely inspiring to write songs with Bob in mind. I didn't try to copy any of the aforementioned songs, I just had Bob's voice in my head and let it inspire my songwriting. When I write a passage for another singer I come up with different things than I'd write when I'd do it just for my own voice. It's a creative boost and it's a key to the diverse songwriting for Avantasia. Writing for other singers makes it easier for me to step aside and try out new things. 

"Lavender" sounds familiar and like something new at the same time. Bob's voice and the way we arranged the song is familiar, the song and the details are new.

It was also interesting to witness the whole thing lifted to a different level when the Gospel choir began to do its work. All of a sudden it became something Broad-wayish, something really massive and full of Soul. Most of the backing singers were native English speakers, so is Bob. The phonetics required to have it sung differently from what the word lavender is usually pronounced like. It was funny in the studio, people from South Africa, USA, England and Germany discussing the best possible compromise of pronouncing the word lavender so it worked in the song and it doesn't sound weird. In the end, I believe it is creative freedom. Whatever needs to be done needs to be done... The type of lavender in my song is a different one to the other lavenders out there, and therefore pronounced differently, okay?!

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM

Requiem is one of the last songs that I wrote for the album. I had a fast and epic song of which the instrumental parts were almost completely arranged. It was great! But I wanted something that would work good for Michael Kiske's voice and that old fast song had more of a layered chorus and some Celtic influence. I thought that it wasn't the perfect song for Michi's voice. So I put that other song aside and wrote a new one based on an older anthemic melody that I had a demo of. An idea that had to be sung as a duet with a singer like Michi, just like "Reach Out For The Light" or "No Return". But Michi was doing shows with Helloween at the time, so he wasn't sure he was gonna make it and I was prepared to take my demo vocals on the record. Fortunately everything fell in place when he managed to sing his parts.

You can hear the influence of Classical Music in "Requiem For A Dream". What I like about the song is that it's got the typical anthemic approach of Avantasia with fast guitars and hymnic melodies. But it feels like it almost has some sacral ele-ment, a certain sacred grandeur in the harmonies, something that is unique. And we made it even a little more colourful with elements like the slap bass passages which have been played by Sascha. Yes, he isn't just the best guitar player I know, he is also a great bass player, a much better one than I am I have to say. I am a sin-ger, and I love bass guitar, but I am not a very good player for those kinds of things.

Lyrically the song is what the title says, it's about a person's arrival in the world of what's commonly understood to be reasonable among adults. And it also deals with the spiritual challenges that go along with it.

MANIAC

I have always loved that song and wanted to do a cover version of it. Sascha said "it's been done several times already". But I didn't know any of the other versions and I didn't think of it as a problem. If you love something, do it! I said "Let's just do it for joy" and he arranged the song as a favour to me. What can I say? We both thought that it was about to become a great rendition. I sang it but something was missing, I thought it was too one-dimensional, and I immediately thought of Eric Martin joining me. In the meantime I had begun to consider that we should maybe take it on the regular album, as something light-hearted wouldn't be too bad. We already had several songs beyond the ten-minute-mark, some of them we simply put aside for later because I didn't want Moonglow to become a double album full of 10 minute songs. Of course everyone knows the movie that "Maniac" had been used for, and everyone has those distinctive associations, which are not exactly connected to the eerie world of Victorian England's occult writers. But deep down, it is a song about a maniac, who doesn't feel peace in life except when the lights go out and she can do what she loves. That qualified, so I said "why not, it's a great song, let's take it highly officially on the record, but let's make it the last song." So if Moonglow was a movie, "Maniac" wouldn't be part of the scores in the movie, but it would play during the closing credits maybe. Yet, after Eric had sung his vocals I knew, this was definitely going to be a track on the album. There are no rules in the art world, and if there is one it should be: If it feels right, do it! No matter what someone else's rules may be.

HEART

A bonus track. Writing bonus tracks is always great fun although I did it with a grain of salt. I thought the record was too long even without a bonus, I had already taken some other songs off, not because I thought they were mediocre, but because I wanted to have a 50 minutes album originally. That was my ideal con-ception. As a fan I rather want to start listening from start again after 50 minutes and not be burnt out after listening to an album for 75 minutes and not be done still, especially when there are as many different things going on as on an Avantasia album with all the styles and orchestrations and the different singers.

It doesn't get boring I think, but it can be a sensory overload and song 6 or 9 will not get the recognition they should get. Even after I had taken some material off the album again, the album is still over one hour long, but as it's quite colourful 1 think that it's good as it is. Anyway, the record label always asks you to deliver bonus material. Yes, "just" a bonus song. But if you deliver subpar material it will stain the whole album as the final impression, if you do a bonus song that belongs to the concept and is rated AAA by the quality control, why would I downgrade it to be a limited edition bonus only? The solution was - I had to write another song that was of good quality but a bonus. Bingo! Steve Perry was about to launch his comeback and even though I didn't approach him I thought I want to write a song in the style of 80s Journey. When it's just a bonus I can do it, just for the joy of doing it. A blatant rip-off of the sound and style and trademarks of Journey. This is what I did, I got in my lyrebird mode and tried to figure what Steve Perry would do. I really love that song, also the lyrics are very dear to my heart. They could fit in the concept too, but in a way they are worded in general terms. It's about someone who feels obliged to be unselfish and function at a certain pace while his heart tells him to not lose himself.

[goodluckclove]

I have spent some time now trying to formulate a question but every time i arrive back at there's probably no answer. OH. So. (Please ignore if you do not want to answer or can't or whatever. I'm thinking instead of sleeping and that tends to lead to strange thoughts.)

Where does creativity come from? Like, how do people get that spark that turns into an idea an universe. How do they step outside what they have experienced (tropes, stories), and... create something of their own.

I don't know. The answer is probably somewhere between "it just comes" and "they listen and notice it" (as in they are not in something resembling chronic creative burnout).

Writing looks fun. Creating stories. Having a world take shape in your imagination. I enjoy getting glimpses into that process and seeing the end products. (I would love to try it myself but it's one of those "so far away i have zero idea where to start" things. Where on the other hand rants, thoughts, concepts *prompted* by anything and routed in something already existing seem to come freely and turn into whole essays (sometimes at least). Oh well.)

I really don't know. Please ignore if this is weird. I should maybe have some water.

Take care if where you are it's also way too hot. Have water or rest or whatever might be good in that moment, if you want. I hope your day goes as well as can be, with nice moments and strength for the hard ones. (How do people end asks i am not good at people today.)

Hi! You sent this to me a while ago and I hadn't answered it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I'm finally settled enough to answer it.

I think every human being - at least every that I've come across - possesses innate creativity and the ability to make art. I never believed in the concept of god-given "talent" and actually find the concept deeply patronizing as, in my mind, it implies no real effort. Which is bullshit. I will call an artist capable, honest, skilled, passionate - I will never call them talented.

Children are creative in their natural state and in their own way. What happens is an exposure to poison over the years. Your favorite books and movies aren't good for the reasons you like them, or if they are it doesn't matter because they're not real art. People project what they think art is onto you and negate any opportunity for you to grow and form your own sense of intuition.

Or you're never given a chance to really explore art at all. No one makes an effort to show you books you can relate to, so you decide you don't like reading. You think the stuff at art museums is just stuffy Old Dead Guy paintings, and since no one suggests you explore otherwise you never explore painting or sculpting as something accessible to you. It's an unbelievable tragedy to me and I cringe inwardly every time someone tells me they just aren't creative.

There are no uncreative people. There are no boring people. There are only people who were lied to and demeaned until they felt the only real option was to deny themselves the language of communicating through art and storytelling. And that's fucking horrible.

So how can you move past that? I talk to a lot of "aspiring writers" (another term I despise), who tell me blocks in their creative process that keep them from doing the work they want to do. Oftentimes I just respond by asking who told you that? Was it a teacher who was unable to finish their novel because of some poison they consumed? A parent who only sees you through the lens of a career they've decided you're meant to pursue to have value in the world? Perhaps a stranger on the Internet who realized that you can gain a facade of illusory "respect" by making individual taste and limited artistic scope as an overall rule of thumb everyone else has to follow?

Once you find the root of what makes you feel fundamentally severed from creativity, you can start to undo the hold it has over you. You might have to start further back than what feels good for the ego. If you struggle to write a long-term project, maybe you just need to write something. Anything. Just play with fragments and develop a foundation of actually confirming you're able to take up space. Because you are and you absolutely should.

Big ramble but this is a really important topic to me. Don't know where to start? There are really no wrong movies! People watch and wonder what their lives are like! Explore a single plot point of character without worrying about an overarching narrative! As discouraging as it can feel to struggle in a way so many other people seem perfectly well-versed in, it is never too late to develop creativity in your life!

[theygotlost]

I'm really sorry guys but i dont think I have any more artfight in me. i have been defeated. i just cant find any kind of motivation to work on more attacks and i feel dread thinking about it like it's some kind of job. this might be my last year participating because I've become so allergic to creating art for other people unless its under an incredibly specific and arbitrary set of circumstances. i love everyone's ocs so much they are so so cool and I really do wish i could draw them but its so hard to make myself do it and when i do its hard to enjoy the process.

this is combined with the fact that lately ive just been feeling kinda unspired and I havent been feeling great about my art as a whole for the past like 2 months at least. I feel like i've stagnated again and i need to change how I do things like I did last year but now that I already did that big overhaul and experimentation with my style im out of ideas for how to change it and i feel like im stuck.

idk maybe i will be able to make a few more attacks before the month is out if the mood so strikes me but I can't promise anything. i just feel frustrated with myself and it sucks. i do have some other ideas for fanart I kind of want to draw but i would feel bad for drawing anything not artfight related during july cause it feels like I'm disrespecting and/or ignoring the other participants when i could be using that time to draw for them WHICH I REALIZE IS STUPID AND FAKE AND NOT TRUE AT ALL AND NOT A HEALTHY MINDSET TO HAVE BUT THATS JUST HOW IT FEELS !!!!!

wahtever this all probably stupid as hell i hate feeling this way. i gotta take a break or change or die

[cinderella-ish]

5, 8 through 13, and 18 + 20 for the Furuba asks!

Woohoo! Thank you for sending this! (ask game here)

5. not at all! I was born in the year of the horse, so maybe that's part of why I felt such a disconnect with Rin at first.

8. I have to go with Chapter 88 (the Cinderella-ish play)! I know I already gave the corresponding episode as my favorite, but it's just SO GOOD! It's hilarious and heartbreaking and has beautiful character moments for much of the main cast. It's almost a credo statement for the series. And Hiroshi's brilliant narration is the cherry on top!

Question 9 answered here | Question 10 answered here

11. Yuchi is my OTP ❤️

12. The fabulous Yukeru writers on Ao3 have me shipping them. Same for the YukiKyo (? what's their ship name?) writers. And I've really come to love some of the rarepairs I'm writing for my longfic Bloom Within Us. I'll put them under a cut down below for those curious.

13. Ooh, this is such a good question! Right now, I think my answer would be Momiji & Kyo because of the series I just finished writing. I have a soft spot for Yuki & Kakeru, of course, and Yuki & Haru, as well as Tohru & Arisa & Saki. I also really enjoy Kyo's sibling-esque dynamic with Arisa.

18. Ok, to combine 18 and 20, here are two hot takes that sort of deal with character headcanons. Let me know if you want to hear headcanons for someone else, or more fleshed out hc for these characters.

I think my hottest take is that Tohru needed Kyo more than he needed her. I don't think she had anyone she let her walls down for beyond him; not even her best friends. Kyo at least had Kazuma, and he was pretty candid with Momiji, too. Tohru regularly refused to let people take care of her (except for Kyo), and she would've been trapped in her grief & unable to move forward without him. Kyo would've struggled, and he may not have survived, but while they both would've had friends, he would've at least had a loving parent who would've done anything for him.

While Bloom Within Us ultimately has a positive outcome for Kyo after Tohru dies, I've been thinking about writing a sort of companion piece where Kyo dies and Tohru has to grieve him. I believe that would be a much sadder story, especially with the timing related to her processing her grief for her mother and choosing to move forward with Kyo. We saw in the hospital arc how hard of a time she was having just thinking he rejected her. She'd also struggle with how the other cursed Sohmas - some of her dearest friends - treated/viewed him, and that might create a rift between her and her new found family. If he disappeared, I just don't think she'd be able to cope.

It's also probably a hot take that Shigure only gets as much hate as he does because a) people take aspects of the manga seriously that Takaya never intended us to take seriously (like his "high school girls" song. Creepy, yes, but that's a Takaya problem, not a Shigure problem.) and b) he's so full of self-loathing that he says he's not "kind" and "the worst kind of man" and people take him seriously for some reason. If you actually look at his "unkind" actions, they consist of a) speaking honestly and directly to Akito without first fawning over her, b) actually trying to break the curse (sure, he and Hatori and others refer to it as "using" Tohru, but the way he was "using" her was to try and help the younger Zodiacs form strong bonds outside the curse and to house a lonely, homeless teen), and c) sometimes asking insensitive questions or speaking uncomfortable truths. And yes, he was cold to Mayu, and yes, he slept with Ren (which is maybe the most bananas thing that happens in Furuba), and yes, he fucks with people for his entertainment (especially Mitsuru and Mayu, though, again, Takaya signals we're not supposed to take that seriously). But then we see him trying to cheer Hatori up by bringing him to the lake house, or giving Kyo guidance (and a place to live) from the day he appears, or removing Yuki from Akito's abuse, or using his cunning to get Tohru to relax and have fun, or at least stop stressing so much.

I truly think his speech about kindness came from self-hatred and not from some deeply-held belief about the meaninglessness of things like kindness. I think his speech about being the worst kind of man was again from self-loathing and not something he was proud of. And when he provoked Tohru about Kyo, I also think that was borne of his self-loathing and guilt over how the Zodiac viewed the cat.

Anyway, I know you aren't a Shigure hater, so this probably isn't terribly controversial to you. 😅

Oh, also, I read Arisa as straight. She totally gives me queer vibes, but the fact that she likes Kureno because he reminds her of Tohru, yet she doesn't like Tohru that way... I see that as confirming her straightness, tbh. (I still love AUs where she and Saki are together! They're cute!)

Rarepairs in Bloom Within Us below the cut! (These could be read as answers to 18/20, too!)

Yusuke and Kagura get together in chapter 32, and Hiroshi and Momiji finally get together in chapter 67. In Bloom Within Us, mourners sort of converge around Kyo due to his closeness to Tohru and help him through his initial grieving period. This leads to a situation where Kyo kind of slowly becomes the center of the Sohma family, hosting regular group dinners at the dojo and becoming close (to a degree) with all the formerly cursed Sohmas. Since he always was close with Momiji and Kagura, it made sense to me that he might connect them with Hiroshi and Yusuke. I don't give Yusuke and Kagura a lot of focus, but Hiroshi is basically the second protagonist of my story, and the relationship between him and Momiji (and Hiroshi's development to be ready for a relationship with Momiji) is one of the most important subplots. I've really grown to love them, and might write some more content with them just because I adore them so much. (And Yusuke and Kagura are cute together! But I'm not really interested in exploring them any more.)

I haven't written the chapter where Kyo and Saki get together, but yeah, Kyo ends up with Saki.

I always read Saki as having repressed romantic feelings for Tohru. Due to her extreme loyalty and her powerful wave-reading abilities, I think she'd catch Tohru's message to Kyo (to keep moving forward) and ensure she passed it on first opportunity, thus saving his life. And I think Kyo, with his people skills and unfortunate familiarity with grief, would be the one to figure out how Saki felt about Tohru.

In my story, Kyo has to first decide to live. Once he truly does that, he starts pursuing a future as a karate instructor, realizes blaming himself for everything only hurts the people who care about him, and finally decides to allow himself to fall in love again. He's already in love with Saki by this point, and has been for a while, but he's a dumbass about love and it takes him a while longer to realize how he feels, and even longer to decide to do anything about it.

I think it's possible to read Kyo and Saki as having sexual tension in canon. That plus them playing the prince and Cinderella in Cinderella-ish makes them a fun couple to explore.

Anyway, I think there's a strong case these couples would get together in a universe where Tohru dies, but not in any other universe.

Thank you for asking! This was fun!

[believingispowerfulmagic]

Fic Advent Calendar - Day 8: Sleigh Ride

A sequel to my story from Day 4.

The festival was a success.

Pride and happiness filled Regina as she stood in the center of the park, watching as the people of Storybrooke moved around the festival. Several businesses from town had set up stations there and all were crowded - especially Granny's booth, which was selling food and other treats. Children participated in different games as did the adults, while others again skated around the rink.

It was almost perfect.

There was just one thing missing.

Her boyfriend.

Of course, the festival fell under his purview as the director of the parks and rec department. Even with his staff and the volunteers, Robin was still pulled in several different directions. She had seen him briefly when she opened the festival. He had kissed her before rushing off to check on something.

She hadn't seen him since.

"Here," Mary Margaret said, holding out a cup. "You look like you could use some hot chocolate."

"Is it spiked?" Regina asked, taking the cup. "Because I could use whiskey more."

Mary Margaret chuckled before shaking her head. "Unfortunately, no whiskey. Just chocolate and whipped cream."

Regina sighed. "I guess it will have to do for now."

"Missing Robin?" Mary Margaret asked. "I've barely seen him."

"He's running this show," Regina said. "I knew I wouldn't see him."

Mary Margaret nodded before saying: "But this is still something you want to experience with the person you love, right?"

"Yeah," Regina admitted with a sigh. She then turned to Mary Margaret. "So why aren't you with the person you love?"

"I was," Mary Margaret replied. "He's now manning the animal shelter booth for an hour and then we're going to meet up again."

Regina took a sip of the hot chocolate before asking: "So you're going to keep me company?"

Mary Margaret nodded. "We can keep each other company."

"Alright," Regina said, looping her arm with Mary Margaret's. "Let's go."

"Okay," Mary Margaret replied, laughing. "There's a vendor with some cute scarves I want to look at."

Regina nodded. "Sounds good. We can start there and make our way around."

They walked off, sipping their hot chocolate. If Regina couldn't be with Robin, at least she could enjoy the festival with her best friend.

***********************************************************************

"I think I'm going to go home," Regina said, standing from the table where she had enjoyed dinner with Mary Margaret and her husband David. "Henry is spending the night with a friend and I'm sure Robin will be here late. So I think I'll go enjoy some quiet."

"Oh," Mary Margaret said, sharing a look with David. "Are you sure about that?"

Regina nodded. "I am."

Honestly, she wasn't. She had really hoped to spend at least some time with Robin at the festival but she had to admit that wasn't happening. And so she decided a hot bath and maybe a face mask before curling under the blankets was the next best thing.

"Okay," Mary Margaret said as David looked at something on his phone. She hugged Regina. "Have a good night."

"You too," Regina replied. "See you soon."

She walked away from the food area and down the center aisle created by the placement of the vendor booths. It led right to the parking lot. And since she was the mayor, she had a VIP parking spot right at the entrance to the park. She would be on her way home soon.

As she neared the end of the vendors, she heard bells jingling nearby. They grew louder and were joined with the clip-clop of hooves. Regina stopped as a beautiful brown horse trotted past her, pulling a red sleigh with black trimmings. Sitting inside, holding the reins, was Robin.

He stopped the horses and stood, holding out his hand to her. "Milady."

"Robin," she said, surprised and wondering if she was dreaming. "What is this?"

"A sleigh," he replied. "I thought we could go for a ride."

Her mind processed that as she blinked a couple times. "A ride?"

Robin nodded. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" she asked, certain her brain had stopped working.

"Yes," he replied. "Come on. You'll love it."

She took a deep breath before grabbing his hand. He helped her into the sleigh and guided her to sit down next to him. Robin covered their legs with a blanket before smiling at her. "Here we go," he said.

He cracked the reins and the horse moved forward, following the path that would circle the festival area. Regina cuddled against Robin's side as she asked: "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he said. "Trust me."

"Alright," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder. "I can do that."

He kissed the top of her head. "Thank you."

The horse followed the path toward a small group of trees as the sky darkened overhead. Robin whispered: "How about a little Christmas magic? Snap your fingers."

"Really?" she asked, amused.

"Yes," he said. "Go ahead."

She sighed but took off her glove. Raising her hand, she snapped her fingers.

And an enchanted Christmas forest appeared before her.

Every tree had lights on them. One tree was covered in red lights, another in blue, a third in yellow and so on. Stars rested on the very top, shining down on them as the horse walked through the enchanted grove. Fake presents rested under the trees and she spied illuminated deer decorations there as well. Instrumental Christmas music played around them, though she wasn't sure if the speaker was hidden in the trees or in the sleigh.

Or maybe it was just Christmas magic.

"This is beautiful," she whispered.

"Thank you," he said. "My team and I were able to put this together last minute. We thought people would like some sleigh rides through a winter wonderland."

She nodded, noticing two angels with horns glowing as they left the enchanted grove. "This is going to be a big hit."

He chuckled. "If your reaction is any indication, I have to agree."

"This is amazing, Robin," she told him, looking at him again. "No wonder you've been busy all day."

"Yeah," he said, sighing. "I'm sorry I haven't been around. I really hoped I could spend more time with you."

She wrapped her arm around his, leaning against him. "Me too but I understood. Doesn't mean I didn't miss you."

He rested his cheek against her head. "I missed you too."

"I wish this sleigh ride would never end," she said, noticing that they were approaching the ice skating rink at the edge of the festival. Their time together was almost over.

For now, at least.

He kissed the top of her head. "It's not over just yet," he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked, lifting her head as confusion filled her. "We're almost at the festival."

"I know," he said, guiding the horse down another path. "But we're going to take a little detour."

She frowned. "A detour?"

He nodded. "You'll see."

"Alright," she said, deciding to trust him yet again.

Robin slowed the horse to a stop by a gazebo. Its top was covered in white lights while the rest was draped in evergreen boughs and red bows. He set down the reins before standing, climbing down from the sleigh. She watched as he came around to her side, holding out his hand to her. "Milady?"

She took his hand and stepped down onto the path as she asked: "What's going on?"

"You'll see," he said, leading her to the gazebo.

"Alright," she replied, carefully walking up the steps into the main part of the gazebo.

A small table was set up in the middle. Three candles resting inside glass holders sat on the table. Roses surrounded them and her heart skipped a beat as she took in how romantic the whole scene was. She slowly turned toward Robin, tears filling her eyes when she saw him on one knee.

He took her hand, smiling. "Regina, I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she replied.

"Good to know," he replied cheekily before his expression softened. "I didn't know an offer to ice skate with you would change my life. This past year has been one of the best of my life. I can't imagine my life without you or Henry in it."

Robin put his hand in his coat pocket before pulling out a black velvet box. He opened it to reveal a ruby flanked by two small diamonds on a silver band. "Regina Mills, will you marry me?" he asked.

She nodded, swallowing as she pulled off the glove on her left hand. Regina held it out again as she said: "Yes."

"Then let's get this ring on before your hand freezes," Robin said, removing the ring and sliding it onto her ring finger. He kissed her hand before saying: "There."

"It's beautiful, Robin," she said, admiring her ring even as the cold nipped at her fingers. "I love it."

He stood, pulling her closer to him. "Henry helped pick it out."

She felt her insides melt as she imagined Robin and Henry in the jewelry store together, inspecting every ring and working together to find the perfect one for her. "That's so sweet," she said.

"I know how important he is to you," Robin said. "And we're going to become a family. It felt only right to include him.

"So, can I kiss my fiancée now?" he asked, grinning.

Her heart skipped a beat as she nodded. "Please do."

Robin leaned in, capturing her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed as she treasured the moment. She was engaged to the love of her life, her soulmate.

She couldn't ask for a better Christmas gift.