#or maybe I am hyping myself up too much about it
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intotheelliwoods · 7 months ago
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oooh everyone wants to wish me luck at my new job so badddd ✌
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penisbilt · 8 months ago
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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feroluce · 6 months ago
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smth smth yingfeng paralleling farcille
(magically inclined long lived partner tries to defy death by bringing their short lived partner back to life/have immortality but they come out Wrong(tm) instead)
just. the parallels <3
RIGHT? Like oh my god I love the idea of it: a mortal and immortal character falling in love, and the immortal one doing something horribly taboo for them to be together forever. But maybe they fuck something up, or maybe it's just their punishment for playing god, but their now-immortal lover Comes Back Wrong.
I'm actually not caught up on dunmeshi (I get the gist of farcille from socmed, though) but I really like an Inuyasha/Kikiyo flavor to it- Mortal lover is full of rage and hatred, immortal one can't not love them, and then they romantically and dramatically die together murder-suicide style and drag each other to hell. You know, the good shit. ☆
It is one of my ideal dynamics for a bad end pairing. And I do like necromancy shenanigans with a happier/good end, like farcille style too! Just...I don't like either situation for yingyue.
I don't think there's anything wrong with playing with them that way as long as you don't pass it off as canon, like I say all of this with no judgment. But I'm picky and I like to follow canon more closely so I can't really see them in that kind of scenario haha.
It's just! Yingxing's whole deal is that he's a haughty, spiteful, arrogant asshole of a man whose life mission is to be such a damn good craftsman that he can tell all the Xianzhou Natives who looked down on him to suck his short life species dick and flip them the bird. Him being made immortal takes all the fun out of it for me and kinda removes a central part of his character. I LOVE him being petty and full of himself. He should do it more!
And I am so so dearly enamored with the relationship between him and Baiheng. I can't write her out of the whole equation, especially considering she and Yingxing both Came Back Wrong from this incident, and she was the actual intended target.
Like. He loved her. Yingxing loved her. Baiheng was so, so important to him. She's referred to as "the beloved" in Blade's character stories. He called her his bosom friend. He handmade a jade flask just for her.
Not a weapon,
not something she needed,
not something he was doing to show off,
just a flask.
Something pretty, and just for her, something that she would like and use everyday. Not a need, but a want. He did it simply because he wanted to give her a present.
She was the first person to really encourage and believe in him. She helped him come out of his shell (so all that arrogance is her fault BSMZJMS). That animated short where they went up in her star skiff together and she called him cute fucking killed me. They make me chew concrete.
And she was really important to Dan Feng too! He wouldn't have tried to bring her back, otherwise! She died saving him. And he knew what he was doing when he chose to try to bring her back as a Vidyadhara. He had to have. There's no way he couldn't have known that his life was forfeit after this. They don't let you get away with purposely breaking one of the Ten Unpardonable Sins like that.
And he chose to do it anyway. He still chose her life over his own. Dan Feng loved her, too.
He and Yingxing both worked together to try to bring her back because she was someone neither of them could bear to lose.
So if anything, I feel like yingyue is more like larcille bringing back their beloved Falin haha
But no matter who is romantically involved with who, like. It's the love between all three of them that's important.
That's the secret ingredient that makes the triumph of Falin's rebirth and the horrific tragedy of the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae so emotional. Because these were things that could not have happened unless they all loved each other.
#honkai star rail#I hope like any of that made sense skzjkskd#just! the three of them are so!! they're so!!! ARGH#I love them so much. it's such a beautiful horrible fucked up tragedy and no one survived it ok.#but it was still full of love. the love was still there.#from what I understand Dan Feng trying to make Yingxing immortal was an old theory from the beginning of the game?#and maybe I could have been into it back then when I didn't really know them#bc like I said it really is a legit tasty situation! i love that kind of shit!#but. now that I've played so much and gotten to know them a little better I can't get hyped about it anymore orz#it just doesn't really suit them for me. it takes out all the things that make them Them.#I know I said larcille + Falin bc this was supposed to be a post about yingyue#but tbh I ship Yingxing with both of them. yingyue and...what do you even call Yingxing × Baiheng.#fuckin hcq and their reincarnations need to quit having similar names. orz#anyway I like both ships and also Yingxing has two hands!! they can be ot3 I like that too#but so yeah I can't compress the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae into a single two person ship like that bc all three of them were important.#for me it doesn't work any other way.#I need to catch up on dunmeshi too so I can see the necromancy for myself#I don't even particularly ship larcille but I feel like Laios plays an IMMENSE part in bringing back Falin too. at least as much as Marcill#same deal. it's the different kinds of love between all three people that make the moment important haha#this got long sorry I am just very passionate about Yingxing and Dan Feng and Baiheng bslzjzkskdkx#yingyue#yingfeng#yingxing#dan feng#baiheng#answer#lesbianbootheng
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13eyond13 · 9 months ago
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months ago
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Hi! Thank you so much for all you're doing. It's incredible. You're keeping so many of us (and I'm including myself here) level headed during an uncertain time.
Speaking of uncertain times, I figured I'd at least try and get ahead of the curve to let you know that someone "leaked" another rumor; this one being that Good Omens may be released as a movie. However, the tweet was quickly deleted (and not in the fun, hyping people up with a fake leak before deleting it kind of way).
The only proof (and I'm using that loosely) is a production information list someone found on a random British website. From my very limited knowledge, lots of those production notes float around about lots of movies and they're always just rumors and speculation.
You probably already know all of this. But I figured that on the very slim chance you didn't, the tweet is already gone and the source is flimsy at best. Especially seeing as IMBD released the series 3 episode 1 onto its platform. But then again who knows. Maybe that's another rumor too.
Anyway, thank you again and have a great weekend!
Hiya! :) I've seen it but I've also seen this so I am waiting for more info :) <3.
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katstarry · 5 months ago
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no one noticed | take our time
eddie munson x reader
part ii
masterlist ☆
part i | part iii
summary: you and eddie grow closer when eddie invites you to hangout outside of school.
warnings: fluff, pining, the upside down doesn’t exist here! a slow burn apparently, reader is introverted kinda
a/n: my obsession with him comes and goes but whenever it comes back IT COMES BACK HARDD 😭 it’s been a week of it consuming me again, i need more content of eddie! (robin & reader are very birds of a feather coded in my head)
feedback + reblogs are appreciated! ☆
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you rush over to where robin is seated, not bothering to get in line for food. you’ll go later.
“i’m going crazy.” is what you say as soon as you reach her, interrupting what she was about to say, her mouth agape.
an amused expression covers her features, “oh? and why exactly, are you going crazy?” she leans closer to you, a knowing look in her eye.
you take a seat beside her, your back to eddie’s table.
“we got paired up for a project in history class.” is all you say as you steal a cold french fry from her tray.
“hey!” she swats your hand away, but she’s too late, “paired up, huh? i bet you’re thrilled!” she smiles over at you.
you groan and put your face in your hands.
“it wasn’t so bad, honestly. it was pretty fun. i didn’t make a fool of myself.” your words were muffled in between your hands, “…at least i hope not.” you say, facing your friend once again.
she laughs at your distress, “oh c’mon! you should be happy that you finally have an excuse to talk to him!”
“it’s not funny, robin! how am i going to survive this? oh my god, robin.” you look at her smiling, you know that you’re being dramatic. but besides your nerves, you are pretty excited to finally be talking to eddie.
“what?” she raises her eyebrows at you, eating her fries.
“he’s so dreamy.”
robin gags, “gross.”
you nudge her shoulder laughing, “oh please! maybe you’re right. i should just be happy about this. he was pretty nice.” you look at her and sigh dramatically, “it was pretty nice.”
“you’re hopeless.”
“you’re supposed to be hyping me up right now! i finally talked to my crush.”
“yeah, and i still can’t believe it only took you being partners for it to happen. by force.” she laughs when you pout.
“okay, okay! yes, of course i’ll hype you up. he’ll totally ask you out, though. i bet he’s thinking of you right now, planning how to do it. actually, he’s planning your marriage as we speak.”
“okay. let’s not get too crazy now.” you laugh, moving to stand to finally get in line for some food, but blushing at the thought nonetheless.
robin rolls your eyes at you, “you are too far gone.”
you steal one last fry from her before leaving, hearing a faint “oh c’mon!” behind you.
standing in line, you see the same girl from your history class in front of you, elizabeth? you think her name is?
she turns around, “oh, hey!”
“hey, elizabeth, right?”
“yes! you’re y/n? right?”
you smile, “yeah, we have history together.”
“right! i hope this project is over with quickly, i got stuck with byers,” she glanced at a table, “but it can’t be as bad as munson.”
you were taken aback, you knew what other people thought of him, but being outright rude is crazy.
“oh! eddie’s a great partner, honestly… we spent the class coming up with ideas. jonathan’s really nice too, i’ve helped him take some photos before for the yearbook.”
she raises an eyebrow at you, “hm. hopefully he won’t bring your grade down.”
you feel uneasy now, what’s her problem? do these people even give eddie a chance and actually talk to him?
“i doubt it, he seemed pretty excited.”
she laughs, “that’s because a girl is finally giving him some attention.”
“no, it’s because we’re working on a project together. and i dunno, i don’t talk trash about him?” you state, plainly, giving her an unamused look, not interested in continuing the conversation.
“wow, didn’t know you could even talk that much. that’s the most i’ve ever heard you speak!” she tilts her head at you mockingly, clearly you’ve upset her.
you don’t answer her, “could you move up? the lines moving.” avoiding her taunting gaze.
you see her roll her eyes from your peripheral, and she finally turns back around.
letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, you finally make it to the food. mood ruined. why are people so mean. you’re starving. at least they’re serving your favorite today, chicken nuggets and fries. such an amazing meal, the best school food gets.
walking back to robin you catch a glimpse of eddie, he’s making another dramatic display. you don’t catch what he’s saying, since he stops his rant as you’re about to walk by, where he happens to be walking.
he bows dramatically, giving you room to walk around him, “my apologies, madame.” he smiles at you.
you shake your head laughing, “thank you, sir.”
you sit beside robin once again.
“finally! you’re back. it’s been too long! we’re finally reunited.” robin gives you a dramatic side hug.
“i know, sorry! i was held up by a troll. asked me to solve a riddle, couldn’t figure it out.”
she laughs, “oh yeah? how’d you make your away around it?”
“i ate it.” you deadpan, opening your pack of ketchup.
you finally turn to look over at her, both of you burst out laughing.
as you eat, you explain to robin your conversation with elizabeth.
“what an asshole.” she says as you both stand to throw away your trash and put away your trays.
“i know right!” you shake your head, putting your tray away.
“i just don’t understand why it bothers people so much if people don’t talk. like, hello! maybe they just don’t want to talk to you?” she says, “or- or, like why it bothers people so much that people are different from them, in general? the times i’ve occasionally spoken with eddie, he seemed pretty chill.” she raises her hands in exasperation.
“right? i don’t get it either.” you sigh.
walking out the cafeteria you join robin by her locker, before going to your own, where she accompanies you as well, and grab what you need.
“see you at dismissal?” you say.
“yup! i don’t have practice today, steve’s gonna pick me up. i got a shift after school today.” she gives you a fist bump before going on her way to class.
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it’s finally the end of the day.
you can finally take that nap.
you make your way to your locker, leaving your books.
by the door on your way out you see robin, “we’re free!” she exclaims.
she wraps her arms around your shoulders, “let’s get outta here.” you say.
“what do you plan to do? while i’m away at family video, locked inside there, along with an annoying dingus, with no other choice but to do work?” she lets out an exasperated breath, looking over to you.
“i was planning on taking a nap.”
“fun!” she says, with fake enthusiasm. “was kinda hoping for a, ‘i’ll come by and see you, of course! you’re my bestest friend! i won’t let you suffer alone!’ but i see now how much you truly care about me.”
you laugh, “i’ll come by to see you, robs.” making your way to your car, steve isn’t here yet, so robin walks with you.
“really?” she says hopefully.
“yeah, after i take my nap.” you say, looking straight ahead.
“oh c’mon! your naps always last, like, forever!” she whines.
“it won’t be that long this time!” you look at her, and she looks at you.
“okay maybe it will be.”
she shakes her head as you reach your car, leaning onto it.
“you and your fucked sleep schedule.”
“it’s me and my crap sleep schedule against the world.”
“hey, i thought it was you and me against the world!”
you were too busy bantering with robin that you didn’t realize eddie walking up behind you.
he was looking for you in the hallways, even stopped by your locker. he was working up his courage all throughout lunchtime, and his last classes.
“y/n! wait!” he calls out your name, jogging to reach you.
you stop what you were about to say, staring at robin.
seeing her light up, a smirk appearing on her face.
turning your head, you’re met with eddie, hands on his knees, catching his breath.
“eddie?”
“yeah, hey. it’s me. givemeasec.” he breathes out, before standing upright again.
“hello.” he turns to robin, “and hello.” he nods his head to her.
“hey.” she looks behind him and looks back at you, “oh would you look at that? my rides here! i’ll call you later y/n! bye!” she leaves before you can even respond. you look at the direction she ran, steve’s not even here yet.
eddie turns back to face you, also looking confused by robin’s sudden disappearance.
“s’that usually happen?” he has an amused look on his face.
you shake your head, “no.”
“ah well- uh anyway. i wanna ask you something.”
oh? okay. cool. he wants to ask you something.
“yeah?”
“yeah.” he looks at you.
“okay.. you can ask me anything, eddie.”
“right! shit, uh. i was wondering, are you doing anything? later?” he sees your panicked look, he backtracks, “i mean to, y’know, work on the project.” nice save.
ah. you hide your disappointment, “oh, yeah sure. i’m not doing anything today.” oh robin’s gonna be pissed that you canceled your nap for this and not see her at work.
“okay, cool. uhh where do you wanna meet? i mean, we could go to my place? or if not that’s cool too we could go to the library or something. dunno.” he kicks a loose pebble in the parking lot, messing with his rings. cute.
“your place is fine. i could just follow right behind you,” you jiggle your keys in-front of you, “i gotta call my mom first though, let her know.” you flush, “uh, where is your place?” you ask, knowing your mom would want to know.
“it’s uh the forest hills trailer park.” he continues to fiddle with his rings, looking at you now.
“right, i know where that is. let me just ring her real quick, yeah? i’ll be right back!” you head towards the telephones outside the school, call your mom and assure her it’s just for a project and that you won’t take that long.
you head back to your car, seeing eddie still standing nearby.
“all good?” he says, smiling.
“yeah, let’s go.” you smile back.
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on your drive there you realize what exactly you’re doing.
your going to eddie’s place.
you’re freaking out.
it’s okay, that’s cool. it’s just for the project. you have your notebook in your book bag still. you have your notes.
entering the trailer park and parking beside his van, you mentally prepare yourself. oh god, you’re going into his home.
breathe! you still can’t even believe your mom let you come over in the first place, to a boys place.
seeing eddie get out his van, you get out your car with your bag and stand awkwardly as you wait for him.
“this way, madame.” he says, walking ahead of you and up to the trailer. grabbing his keys from his pocket, he opens the door and lets you in first.
“welcome to my paradise.” he walks in after you, shutting the door behind him.
you look around the small living room. it’s cozy, comfortable, it feels homey. you gently place your bag on the couch.
“it’s a nice place eddie.”
he laughs and turns away, heading to the kitchen.
“you don’t have to lie.”
“i’m not lying.” you say, genuinely. “i used to live in a trailer too.”
he looks up, grabbing two cups. “really?”
you nod, “best years of my life, honestly. we moved to our current house when i was about,” you look up in thought, “7? 8? maybe?” you head over to where eddie stood.
he hums in acknowledgment. “didn’t know that.”
you shrug, “never really talked about it, not a big deal really.”
looking at you, he asks “would you like some water? soda? you can take a seat y’know.” he smiles over at you as he heads to the fridge.
taking a seat at one of the chairs at the table you answer, “hmm, what soda do you have?”
“uhh.. let me see.” he moves things around, “got some pepsi, sprite, coke..”
“i’ll take some coke, please.”
“comin’ right up, sweetheart.”
your brain nearly explodes.
oh you’re definitely calling robin after this.
he comes back to you with two cans of coke for the both of you.
“thank you. what a wonderful host.” you smile at him as he pulls out the chair beside yours and sits in it.
“you’re welcome.” he laughs.
“right.. so..” you open your can, “the project?”
a brief look of confusion crosses eddie’s face. right. the project.
he clears his throat, “yeah, the project. um, i’ll be getting the stuff tomorrow.” he stepped out during lunch for a bit to sell and earn some more cash, thankfully he got enough for the materials for the poster board, they’re pretty affordable anyway.
“alright, cool! thank you for that, by the way. i wouldn’t of had minded buying it.”
he shakes his head, drinking from his can. “no, no. it’s fine. i don’t mind.”
you’re about to say something when he gives you a look, “fine.” you huff in defeat.
“good.” he smiles, knowing he won.
“let me grab my notebook from my bag.” you get up and grab your book bag from the couch, unzipping it and looking for your notebook.
huh.
you look through it again, pulling out the ones you do have, double checking.
you can’t believe it. you literally have all your notebooks, except your history one. you sigh frustratedly, zipping your bag back up and heading back towards the kitchen, empty handed.
“couldn’t find it?”
“couldn’t find it.” you continue to stand, “sorry.”
“nah, it’s fine. uh.” he looks at his watch, “hasn’t been that long, if you, maybe wanna stay for a bit longer?” he taps on his can, please say yes.
you keep your excitement at bay, trying to remain cool.
“yeah, that’d be cool.” nice. super cool.
“cool.”
you sit back down, “so..” you smile, looking down at your can of coke.
“soo….” he mimicks.
“i wanted to let you know, about me calling my mom, it isn’t because i don’t trust you, i swear. she just likes knowing where i am, she worries.” you look at him.
“it’s all good. don’t worry ‘bout it.” though he does look as though he feels more comfortable now, “you get used to it.”
“you shouldn’t have to.”
he shrugs, changing the subject, “nice that your mom’s protective of you though.”
you laugh, “not as much as my dad though.”
“really? what’s he like?” he tilts his head at you, asking in genuine curiosity.
“well.. i’m the only girl. so you could imagine how protective he can be. he’s not like, controlling, but he’s just a bit strict. curfews and stuff like that.”
“hmm. you have siblings, then? brothers?”
“yeah,” you smile, “three actually. 2 older brothers and one younger. my older brothers moved out already though, but they visit frequently.. do you have any?”
“me? nah, no, i don’t. only son.”
you nod your head.
“live here with my uncle wayne, actually.” he moves his gaze back down to the table, “he works at the factory most days, ‘s why he’s not here right now.”
“oh cool, my dad used to work there too.”
“what’s he work in now?”
“construction. he’s out of the city on the weekdays, comes home on weekends. though sometimes he doesn’t come for a few weeks if the job is too far away.”
this is the most you’ve told someone about yourself, other than robin, in just a day.
you’re really going crazy.
“that’s cool-” he tries to find a way to lighten the mood after seeing your expression, but accidentally lets out a loud burp.
you laugh and he smiles.
“‘scuse me.” he laughs, covering his mouth.
“i lived with my brothers, trust me, you’re all good.” still laughing.
“what’s your uncle like?”
he goes on to talk about his uncle wayne, the conversation goes smoothly. you feel at ease with eddie’s jokes and banter, it’s an automatic click. a rare thing for you to come by, you hope this is the first of many hangouts. you realize that your closest friends are the complete opposite of you—robin, who can somehow make a conversation not boring, always including you with her other friends and makes you be apart of the conversation. it’s the same with eddie, how do they do it? it must be a superpower, or something.
you finish laughing after a story he had been telling you involving his friends from hellfire when you speak up, “could you tell me the time?”
he looks down at his watch, “uhh, it’s about to be 7 o’clock,” looking at you through his bangs, “tryna ditch me, sweetheart?”
dramatically grabbing at his chest, he says “i’m wounded.” and nearly falls out his chair.
“definitely. yeah, i can’t wait to get outta here.” you reply sarcastically, “i do have to go though.” you sigh.
“i had a lot of fun.”
he crosses his arms and smiles. “as did i.”
you get up from the chair, eddie does too and walks to the couch, grabbing your bag and handing it to you once you reach him. “thanks.”
he opens the door for you and walks you to your car, “we should uh, do this again sometime. hangout..” he scratches his neck, looking around before looking at you once again.
“i’d love to!” you twirl your keys in your hand.
“cool! can’t wait.” he clears his throat. “see you tomorrow? at school?”
“see you, eddie.” you smile over at him when you open your car door, getting in and closing it.
you can’t stop smiling on your drive home, you just hung out with your crush. you’re friends with your crush now.
right as you get home and talk to your mom, you immediately call robin spending another few hours talking to her.
you go to sleep that night feeling happy, and you can’t wait for the next day to come.
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alexthebordercollie · 3 months ago
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Ford's autism
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K so I don't think I need to defend the interpretation Ford is on the spectrum. People make jokes about him being autistic all the time. We all see it. What I want to do here is sort of connect together some character details and examine them through the lense of my own autistic experiences.
I wanna start with his hands. It's an observation I've seen from multiple people that Ford is insecure about his hands and often hides them behind his back or in his pockets. And yeah, he is obviously insecure about them. He even mentions his six fingers at times when they aren't really relevant to anything. It just showcases the space this physical deviation of his takes up in his mind. And yes, it makes sense that he's insecure about them because he was bullied for them growing up. I want to add to this observation.
Ford would have been bullied regardless.
The problem was never really his hands. When you're on the spectrum people around you can tell that you're weird. Uncanny. Something is different and feels wrong about you to NT people, especially kids. They will pick any shallow superficial thing they can find as an excuse to bully you and justify the sense of revulsion they feel around you but can't articulate. If Ford had been born with normal hands they just would have made fun of him for something else, it would have been his glasses, or the movies he liked, or hell maybe some good old-fashioned antisemitism. Literally, any excuse they could find.
I know growing up I tried for years to change the things about me that I was made fun of for and it never made things any better. The bullying never stopped. "Fixing" things about myself didn't work because the thing that was actually "broken" was something fundamental to who I am. That realization as a kid was soul-crushing. That there was nothing I could do that would ever make me "normal", that would ever make people like me. I felt like an alien born on the wrong planet.
Ford continues to latch onto his hands as a sore spot because they're something simple and obvious he can point to as an excuse for why he's so outcast. He probably knows by this point that the hands aren't actually the problem. I'd argue this journal entry and his comment about "another failed social interaction" shows that he's aware his hands aren't actually the problem. But, it is a lot easier to fixate on those than to dwell directly on that sinking feeling that at the core of you're being you are fundamentally weird, wrong, unlovable. Ford's a genius. If his polydactyly bothered him that much he could have removed the extra digits. The hands aren't the problem, they're a symbol of a more fundamental kind of pain.
Looking at it through this context also makes the gloves Fiddleford gives him an extra sweet gift given what they represent. A kind of wholehearted acceptance of who Ford is and even a willingness to adapt to his unique needs just to show him love and affection. I think something that hurts me so much about their relationship is that Ford had someone who very clearly loved him as is and would have never wanted him to be someone or something else, and Ford was too stubborn to fully appreciate that.
The same is true of Stanely by the by. He never had a problem with his brother being weird. Another relationship with someone who loved Ford as is but who Ford took for granted. He needs these kinds of relationships in his life. People who embrace and accept him for the weirdo he is. He needs them desperately, which gets me to my next point.
Ford's ego. So it's also a common observation that Ford has a massive ego. He's kind of an ass, to put it mildly. But I have had someone in conversation frame it like the pressure to prove themselves was just on Stanley and Ford just spent his whole life being hyped up and told he was hot shit. This isn't true, or at least it's a flattening of his experiences.
Ford was praised for his genius. This is true. But his own father only gave a shit when said genius showed signs of netting material gains for the family. It only mattered cause Ford could be useful. Furthermore, this genius never netted him social acceptance from his peers growing up. He was still a bullied, weirdo, loser most of his childhood. Add that seeing Stanley kicked out would have drilled into Ford's head that if he couldn't make something out of himself his family wouldn't want him either. Stan was an unspoken threat of what this family does to failures.
Gonna bring up my own personal experiences again. Having set the stage for how it feels growing up on the spectrum. That feeling of alienness that you can't really explain. I loved to write and draw from a very young age. Moreover, as I got older I realized that when I drew, people were nice to me. The only time I got social acceptance was when people were admiring or praising me for my art. So I did it more and more, I devoted myself feverishly to my art. I loved it anyway and would have hyper-fixated on it regardless but the positive reinforcement turned art from something I loved to a need. I NEEDED to be an artist. I needed to be the best at my school. I needed all eyes on my work because it was the only way I could make friends. The only way I could prove that I had value. That I deserved a place in society.
I see that in Ford. I see his ego not as shallow narcissism but as an overwhelming need to prove his value as a person. To be loved and accepted and believing that no one will want him if he isn't brilliant. If he doesn't change the world. If he isn't useful. This is also why he couldn't bring himself to destroy his research even knowing it was the safest and most responsible option. Burning down everything he worked for would mean finally giving up on the fantasy of ever being accepted or valuable.
The sad thing is he's so single-mindedly fixated on this personal goal of proving his worth to the world that when people do come along that love him unconditionally he takes them for granted. These people are statistical anomalies in his life. Nice to have around, but not enough to fix the bigger problem. They aren't reflective of society at large. They aren't enough to prove that he, personally, is loveable. Just that on occasion he meets another weirdo. For a while it's nice. Like a campfire in a barren tundra. But he has to keep moving, he can't stay. Warmer lands are ahead if he can just get to them. If he can just keep moving.
This also is why Ford was so susceptible to Bill. Bill told Ford what he wanted to hear. That he was destined for greatness. That, the fundamental wrongness he felt all his life was something incredible other people just couldn't see. Bill promised Ford exactly what he wanted, but not what he actually needed. Ford never needed the world at large to accept him. He just needed a few good people.
I also think his chemistry with Bill was connected to his autistic experiences as well. Bill is literally an alien. There's no pressure to mask around him. To try and "act normal". Ford can just be himself with Bill and not have to think about it. And sure, he could be himself around Fiddleford, but Fidds is still human. The anxieties of human social expectations are still present. Like when Fidds get him a gift for the holidays and Ford feels a bit guilty that it didn't even occur to him to do the same. He doesn't have to think about these social nuances with Bill.
That said I'm sure Bill isn't what his world would have considered neurotypical anyway. Not that Ford would know that. But Bill was also a strange freak in his own society. Just as outcast, possibly more so. I think Bill sees a bit of his own experiences reflected in Ford. I think he relates to him on a level. Not that he would ever admit it outright due to his own ego. I think Bill's fixation on him after the breakup also stems from Ford rejecting the path that Bill chose for himself. Bill still lives with some sort of deeply repressed guilt for what he did. Imagine how validating it would have been to see someone else like him burn their own world to the ground for the same reasons Bill did. But no, Ford's a better man than him, and Bill can't stand it.
Ok, I don't know how to end this long-ass monologue so I'm gonna call it here I guess. I just wanted to spill some thoughts of mine about Ford as a character. If anyone else wants to add to this with other examinations of Ford's character through this lense go right ahead. I'm just saying as an autistic person myself I understand every choice Ford made. I could relate to why he did the things he did even if I know those were mistakes and even acknowledging that he's kind of an asshole. Ford is a strange man who makes an eerie amount of sense to me.
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iraprince · 1 month ago
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ALSO being on bluesky is reminding me i used to be on social media bc it was kind of fun. i used to be less scared of strangers and of talking to ppl. i have already rambled about this at length other times but i am thinking abt it again relative to necrotech99 and how excited i am abt it. it makes me wanna talk abt my stuff again.... (not TOO much bc i don't like unduly influencing quest suggestions/audience participation lol. like one thing i want to avoid from the tvrn era is it was really fun to answer so many behind-the-scenes questions, but i did end up eventually feeling like it created a situation where like... ppl who followed me on social media were having a rly different experience w the story, and had way more info, than ppl just following the thread, and i don't love cultivating/encouraging that kind of divide?)
anyway. thinking about that again. bc i used to talk abt tvrn all the time and promo it like crazy. and i even remember sometimes thinking to myself "damn where did i get all that energy bc lately promoing stuff/remembering to boost things online is such a drag and a chore and i hate it." and now that im on the necrotech grind im like oh yeah it was easy for me to remember to promo it bc i was.... genuinely promoing it... like i was genuinely eager to re-reblog stuff over and over and get more eyes on it bc i wanted really really badly for ppl to read and suggest!!!!! vs w work stuff a lot of times it's like. "[HEAVING A SIGH] i guess i should re-reblog stuff for Engagement and Visibility and Reach" in an abstract "maybe this will help me out jobwise? maybe someone will see my stuff and want to hire me, or find my itch and buy some games?" vs the DIRECT "i am hyping this up bc i want ppl to look at it now now NOW NOW NOW NOW :D NOW" that i feel when im rly into a quest
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 1 year ago
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YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM THAT YOUR WRITE FOR SPTO THANK YOUUUU
UGH okay, my craziness aside; could you try “I think I’m in love with you” with Matthew Patel? It doesn’t matter who says it, I jsut think it’d be adorable (I adore that funky theatre punk so so much <3)
Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!
"Do it!"
"Come on, Lord Matthew!"
"We're getting impatient.."
"Maybe we'll go in and tell them ourselves-"
"Ladies, that's enough! I will tell them myself...i-in a minute. First, I need to rehearse what I'm going to say..I can't mess this up."
The demon hipster chicks could only stare at their master with blank expressions, knowing damn well that he was stalling the inevitable:
That being his confession to you.
You two go back as far as middle school, with you being the first friend he ever made who didn't mind his weirdness or mystical powers. Plus, you shared his admiration for the theater and dramatics when he started obsessing over those, becoming his number one supporter.
Until now, Matthew never thought he'd fall for you like he did Ramona. But he feared rejection, ridicule, or worse--the relationship being extremely short-lived and him never getting to experience a "true love's kiss".
Once was painful enough.
He couldn't go through that again.
Of course, his demon hipster chicks knew all about this and the months he's spent pining after you. As much as they didn't like you "stealing" away his attention...they realized you made their master genuinely happy.
And above everything else, they wanted him to be happy.
So they were thrilled when he summoned them, seeing that they were at the doorstep to your apartment and squealing upon noticing the giftbox he had for you.
Finally, he seemed ready to move on from Ramona.
Yet....he had spent ten solid minutes pacing along the floor and trying to hype himself up, his confidence totally shot, before he eventually stopped in front of your door again.
"Okay, I got it! Erm..."Roses are red, violets are--" no, that's stupid. It's too cliche! Everybody uses that!" Shaking his head, he tried to think of something else. ""Hey, would you like to be the Romeo to my Juliet--" ohh, what am I saying?! That's not romantic!! That would mean our relationship could end in tragedy...UGH!!"
"Don't overthink it, my lord." One of the demons whispered to him. "Just tell them how you feel."
"....it can't be that simple, can it?"
"....."
"..alright. I'll take your advice. I'm going for it." With a nervous swallow, he bowed his head and raised a hand to knock at the door-
Only for it to swing open, causing him to freeze in-place and look up to see you on the other side. He quickly hid both hands behind his back, hoping you didn't see the gift. "H-Hi.."
"Oh hey, Matty. Hey, girls." You smiled, looking past him and waving to the demons. But as your gaze shifted back to his, you wondered why he seemed extremely nervous. "Are you feeling okay?"
"..yeah. Just..wanted to see how you were doing." Pink was starting to dust his cheeks. "Did you uh...know I was going to come visit?"
"Um...yeah? You texted me earlier."
"......"
"And I saw you outside my window and figured you forgot the spare key."
"Shit..did I?" Matthew checked his coat pockets, feeling more embarrassed to know he forgot such a simple thing. All because he couldn't stop thinking about you. "I guess I did forget.......how about I go get it?"
You blinked in confusion. "Huh? But you're-"
"I'll be back, I swear-?!!"
The second he tried to run away, two of the demons grabbed a hold of his arms, dragging him into your apartment, while the other two guarded the door it in case he attempted another escape. He yelled in outrage, putting up a bit of struggle before they let go.
At this point, he was seething red, prepared to yell at them for their betrayal and the humiliation it brought upon him...
But they just winked and disappeared, the last one wishing him luck.
Of course.
"I can't believe it! The nerve of those-"
"What was that all about? You're acting kinda..odd, Matthew." Raising an eyebrow, you sat down on your sofa, having no clue why the man in front of you looked so flustered.
"I....have something I need to say." He decided to sit beside you, sighing heavily. "[Y/n], I think....I..I..."
"Yes?"
"...I-I think I'm in love with you!" Finally blurting it out, he closed his eyes and handed you the box, too afraid to see your expression. "I know it's sudden but..you've always been there for me. Ever since I found my passion for theater. Ever since Ramona dumped me...you were by my side. A-And I feel like I took that for granted. I thought I only wanted revenge against those who wronged me....but no. I want something better. I want love...and I want to be yours. So please...let me prove that I can be a good boyfriend and not evil!"
Part of him wanted to curl up and die as he continued babbling on and on about his feelings, thinking about the hundreds of other ways he could have done this.
He could flawlessly play the role of a love interest in a musical or play and move the audience to tears so effortlessly. But off-stage, he felt like a bumbling lovesick idiot who isn't making any sense to his crush..
There's no way you could love him back.
Not after seeing him like this.
Yet after feeling the box being removed from his hands, Matthew bravely opened his eyes, watching as you took out the black and red roses he put inside it. The thorns have been clipped off, allowing you to twirl the stems in your fingers for a moment or two.
Then you looked at him with the brightest of smiles, laughing softly. "Of course you'd give me roses, you dork. That's so....you." You set them aside before moving closer, taking his hands into yours. "I'm trusting you to uphold that promise."
His heart was soaring.
He must definitely be dreaming right now.
"S-So...it's a yes?"
You chuckled, nodding. "Yes. And...I promise to be with you for longer than a week."
That got him choked up. He couldn't say anything else in that moment, as his only response was pulling you into a tight hug and hiding his face in your neck.
Thank god he didn't ruin this.
You just smiled and held him close, relieved that he finally decided to try loving again. When he calmed down enough to look back up into your eyes, that's when you both decided to go for the kiss--just in case he had any more doubts in his mind.
And there were sparks galore.
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reblogandlikes · 3 months ago
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I'm convinced I'm not the target audience for the acotar series because I just saw someone say that they're rereading it and somehow love Rhysand more...? The first time I can understand the lack of introspection and caught up in the hype, but the second time? Seriously? Do people honestly think as Feyre and the IC does about him and are unable to see past the false persona of "amazingness" when he's a terrible leader and throws his power around to those who rightfully challenge him as a form of intimidation?
Maybe because they know where they story ends, they're now reading everything from a 20/20 romantic lense because they "understand him", but even with this understanding, to me, makes his entire personality even more underwhelming, forced and unnecessary. Oh so powerful, yet barely does anything substantial with it. Then what's the fucking point of you other than to fill a "morally ambitious", super powerful, dark haired quota trying to convey feminism, but not actually?
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And then, when I'm critical, I have to check myself and ask if I'm being bloody pompous, but no. No, I'm not. The love for Rhysand is baffling for the genre he is in, and i think that's one of my main gripes. Dark romance, sure. But not in a series that has the audacity to hammers down "abusive" behaviour on one character but not the other in the books and by fans in online spaces. It's so weird. If you have fae's, let them be viciously so, because they are not human. Their behaviours and customs should be the differences highlighted. That should be the appeal, or am I wrong? Not for the faeness to used to be OK in one moment, but not in the next because it doesn't suit the convience of the plot or may paint your beloved in a bad light. You've then just convoluted your own world, sjm, and takes away character depth.
I'm tempted to say that I've aged out of sjm's storytelling style, but i've witnessed fully grown adults eat this shit up. But age has nothing to do with this, and I'm just honestly at a loss. I feel like an outlier. Like, I'm just not getting the appeal to these favourable characters and get frustrated when things are clearly unjust or misrepresented, yet others swear ones actions and behaviours are perfectly fine yet hate to see it in others. You can't just pick and choose when shit is ok or not, especially when the characters have very similar reasoning behind their actions. Maybe I like shit to be nuanced too much, which would explain why it irks me of being told what to believe in contrary to evidence.
It's ok to like whatever book you want, but just dont lie about the content within or delude tourselfninto believing characterisations that are false because even authors fall victim to their own character bias. *Sigh* So I'mma chill and go tackle the books on my tbr.
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callahanisms · 1 year ago
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inquisition companions react to the inquisitor missing half their arm
because bioware didn’t wanna give it to us, i decided i’d just do it myself. (insert thanos meme) even though i am like years late to the hype.
the game is like 9 years old at this point, but spoilers ahead.
do keep in mind this is my own personal interpretation of each character. it may not be accurate to your own interpretations. (also i know leliana is technically not a companion in inquisition but i included her anyways)
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cassandra pentaghast
if cassandra could plunge a knife into the heart of solas, she would. she would not let him get away with betraying you and taking the anchor along with your arm. you had basically fallen into her arms when you emerged from the portal and she had to carry you back to halamshiral. for the days you were unconscious, cassandra was anxious and extra prickly. there were many times where cullen would have to talk her down from her anger. even varric did too.
dorian pavus
the first thing he did was crack a joke. the atmosphere was tense and it just slipped out. “i asked you to come back in one piece, not missing one.” safe to say, the other companions did not approve of his joke. dorian was set to return to tevinter after being notified of his new position as a magister, but he delayed the return to his homeland for you. he sat in your room as you lied unconscious, barely breathing, leg anxious bouncing up and down. when you awoke, you were immediately met with a large and tight hug from him. he knocked the air out of your lungs from that.
blackwall
blackwall admires you. in fact, everyone would go so far as to say he adores you. he thinks of you as strong, capable, almost infallible. you closed rifts, you closed the big green tear in the sky, and you defeated corypheus! what couldn’t you do? all your feats proved to him that you were the strongest leader he could ever know. and yet, you were still mortal. you left the eluvians mortally wounded and exhausted beyond belief, your eyelids so heavy and ready to close so you may drift off into the black void of sleep. blackwall would not let you, not until you were taken away to be cared for. you found him sitting besides you, awake and on guard. your mortality was his reminder that you and him were the same, even if your lives appeared to be completely different. and he understood that the world would need a leader like you and that is dangerous.
iron bull
the bull could feel a stronger kinship with you that day. it appears that the both of you lost something. he betrayed the qun for the inquisition, thus losing a part of himself, his people. you lost a literal part of yourself, something you had to come to terms with after having the anchor for two years. to say iron bull was shaken up would be an understatement. he was getting cassandra to hit him with sticks for days on end while you lied unconscious. he wondered what would’ve happened if he was with you, if maybe...he could’ve stopped solas. but reminiscing never did anyone any good.
cole
as much as he wanted to help you, cole couldn’t. he also understood that you wouldn’t accept his help, no matter how much he insisted. so instead, he did the best thing he could do: help tend to your injuries. what was curious was that he could feel very little of your pain. when he felt your pain two years ago after forming the inquisition, it was concentrated in your hand and forearm. with it gone, you felt at peace. the primary source of pain for you had been washed away. perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, he thought.
sera
sera’s immediate reaction is, like dorian, to crack a joke. everyone is used to her eccentricity. but it felt different this time around. while you laid unconscious, recovering from the long battle, she occupied herself. she had to busy her hands and her legs, keep moving, keep her mind busy. because if she sat too still for even a second, then her mind would think about the worst outcome. she would get images of you, dead, because solas had betrayed you, betrayed her, betrayed the inquisition. hell, he betrayed the world! that knob! thinking he knew what was best! sera’s all the more relieved when it’s revealed you survived. she bursts through the door to see you and hug you tightly, complaining about how much you scared her.
varric tethras
in all honesty, varric should’ve been more prepared to expect...well, the unexpected. he had expectations of you coming out unharmed, untouched. obviously, that was not what happened. and he wondered if he was responsible for this. he had been one of the many people to support you as the inquisitor two years ago, suggesting it. he wondered if he made the wrong decision. but also, part of varric was relieved. he lost someone close to him two years ago. he didn’t know if he could handle losing you too.
vivienne de fer
the court would devour tales of the eluvians and how you managed to survive. that was vivienne’s first thought. people would be talking about you for centuries to come, certainly. and yet, she knew in her soul that was not what you would want. she does her best to minimize what rumors spread when you first emerge from the eluvians and help give you privacy. behind closed doors, vivienne checks on your injuries. part of her is amazed that the anchor was removed so cleanly.
josephine montilyet
josephine has seen many things ranging from serious to just plain absurd. when she was alerted that you had returned with many serious injuries, including the loss of half your arm, she sent messages to get the best possible doctors in all of orlais to help attend to you. the woman was definitely stressed beyond belief. but when she wasn’t trying to get everyone from backing off from you or getting people to look at you, josephine was attending to you herself. you awoke to find her wiping some sweat off your face and when she noticed, she muttered about how great andraste was and embraced you tightly.
cullen rutherford
your knight-commander appeared to take the news very well, much to the disapproval of cassandra. but the moment cullen was alone, in private, he flipped a table, causing everything to crash. all he could feel running throughout his body was regret, guilt, and anger. regret and guilt for not having gone with you. he should’ve. because if he did, maybe you would have came back alright. anger directed towards solas because the apostate had betrayed you, the inquisition. and everything you and him had worked towards was going to crumble. all of his hard work, leliana’s, cassandra’s, josephine’s, it’d all be for naught. cullen ends up spending a lot of time alone while you’re unconscious. he prays to andraste and the maker to distract himself from any wandering thoughts going towards lyrium. certainly the new mabari hound he decided to adopt on a whim helps with distractions at least.
leliana
the woman has seen many things in her lifetime, having experienced the fifth blight itself and been part of that fight against the archdemon. still, things aren’t easy when you come back from the eluvians missing half of your arm. even if it goes against all her duties, leliana stays with you until you wake up to make sure you’re alright. you’re the inquisitor after all and it’s vital that you’re still alive.
solas
he’s the one who took it. you think he cares?
in all seriousness, it gave him no pleasure to remove your arm for the anchor. even if his plan was...well, shoddy we should say, the anchor was going to kill you. he had no choice. carrying your hand and forearm around felt heavy. he could carry it just fine but what made it heavy was the burden that came with his plan to tear down the veil and bring doom upon the world in a desperate attempt to bring it back to what it once was. and also, the burden of having harmed you.
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hazelnut-u-out · 10 months ago
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Rick and Morty does an awesome job at highlighting generational trauma cycles. The fact that Beth adopted Rick’s parenting style and approach to marriage (and even IDOLIZED him/the abuse) without realizing that her biggest character flaws come directly from him is super interesting.
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I honestly think splitting her into two different versions of herself— one who chooses to be more like her mother and one more like her father; one who stays and one who leaves— was a good choice. As someone who relates a lot to sentiments like ‘my parent idolizes their parents/I’m angry with my parents for what their parents did to them/when I’m angry with my mother, but then I remember she’s just a girl’, the Beths are a powerful representation of not only what I see in myself, but also an experience of motherhood I have little insight into on my own.
With all of their parallels, I like to think Beth has moments where she— like her father— says to herself, ‘Holy shit… I’m a terrible mother.’
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I’ve never thought about it before, but Beth truly resents feeling ‘trapped’ in motherhood. She views it as something Jerry did to her instead of something she also partook in. I’m not saying that Jerry didn’t do that intentionally, but I am saying that Beth made choices there, too, and it’s unfair of her to hold contempt for her children (mainly Morty) because of that.
It makes me wonder what her relationship with Diane was like. Diane might have felt like Rick trapped her into motherhood and then took a backseat, too. Did Diane resent Beth for taking away what her life could’ve been? Did Diane blame Beth for her decision to be a mother?
On the other side of the coin, we have Morty. He’s like his dad in a lot of innocent ways, but that concept terrifies him because he’s seen the malice behind that harmless facade.
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Part of him hates his mom for never wanting him— for never caring for him or protecting him— but that’s a part of himself he buries. He knows, at the end of the day, his mom is just a girl who desperately wanted her dad to love her.
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‘I love Daddy!’
People talk about how much Morty is like Jerry all the time, but I’ve NEVER seen a post about how similar he is to Beth. (Please tag me if you have, so I can hype it up!) He spends all day everyday cripplingly aware of just how little his parents want him. He feels their rejection and neglect. He buries those feelings to protect them; or maybe because he’s so aware of their disdain for him that he believes they just might discard him if he’s too much work.
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…Sound familiar?
Sometimes I wonder how much of Morty’s efforts to protect Beth from Rick’s actions and people pleasing to make Beth and Rick’s relationship just a bit easier comes from a certain relatedness he feels to his mother’s experience of rejection/abandonment.
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‘Rick, I can handle it if you go, but you’ll break Mom’s heart, and I won’t forgive you for that.’
He loves who some may consider unlovable.
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But, holy shit, is that kid angry.
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Angry at people he can’t justify holding accountable because… Fuck, they’ve been through a lot, too, haven’t they? How could he possibly justify hating someone he could so easily become?
I can only hope we get some more of Rick’s relationship with his parents. I’m dying to know about it.
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lilisgardensblog · 1 year ago
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Stream theory! time:
I am here to write my thoughts about the Neuvillette part of the stream/trailer, feel free to share yours too!
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"The Melusines can't be trusted! That goes for Neuvillette too!"
So, first I have to say I'm heartbroken to hear that the Melusines and Neuvillette can't be trusted, but idc idc i trust them no matter what. And the Melusines saying: "I'm confident that we'll find the meaning of our existence one day" truly broke my heart.
To keep going with the Neuvillette angst we have The Chief of Justice himself saying: "I find it difficult to express my emotions, because I cannot fully understand myself" The struggle to deal with accusations from your own people that they don't trust you while being unable to show them how you really feel... and to add to that whatever rumours saying that u were born from calamity?? I'm so confused and sooo hyped to get the full lore.
'is this what justice means to u? answer me neuvillette!'
First, let me point out THE VOICE ACTING FOR THIS LINE IS CHEF KISS. It sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it. And every time I hear it I'm thinking, what verdict did Neuvillette come to for Wrio to deliver such a powerful line? Maybe it's about Lyney and Lynette? Because we hear Freminet asking Wrio about his siblings and I'm thinking that maybe Wrio goes and demands an explanation from Neuvillette?
"You will see much in the human world, from the delightful to the depressing and one day, when you have dwelt among humanity long enough, you will be placed to bring judgement over all, as the spokesperson for Fontaine's past"
Can't move on from this line without pointing out the informal addressing here. No Monsieur or anything. Straight up Neuvillette. I'm curious to see how close the characters are and why does Wrio sounds so hurt/betrayed.
edit: a lot of people told me the voice line is from an npc but im too tired to delete everything👍
THIS??? raised so many questions in my head it's crazy. it's unnecessary. The hold this last line has on me is absurd. I think it's directly addressed to Neuvillette and I'm curious why is he the one bringing judgement over all? why is he the one shown all alone in a grey and dull Fontaine?why not Furina? What does "spokesperson for Fontaine's past" suppose to mean??Like we already speculated about him being the Hydro Dragon, but this is *sniff* i smell GREAT storyline.
Genshin is about to drop heeeeavy lore and I'm here for it.
"its unnecessary to hold me in such high regard"
Last line in the trailer. Neuvillette said this right after being shown as one of the most powerful people in the whole nation really. He is either really modest or just tries to hide the fact that he's the most powerful in the nation. Or both. Honestly I'm not even sure of what to say about this, I just had to add it here because Neuvillette said it and I'm in whoo for him.
Him🤝Zhongli , fancy talking and acting like they don't have supreme power.
Last thought: this trailer was so powerful and sad over all. I'm expecting the archon quest to be an emotional rollercoaster with one or two emotional punches. I just know Neuvillette story will make me sob. Just look at him.
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p.s. : I saw someone pointing out that the creators said that Neuvillette made a law so that the Melusines to be addressed as she/her and that fills my heart with joy. Neuvillette is shown to be oh so powerful and 'born from calamity' or whatever and yet he's one of the sweetest and kindest characters. 🫶🏼
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Conclusion: i love neuvillette and idc about false accusations 😊🫶🏼
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prettygirlformula · 29 days ago
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things i do to distract myself.
i dont usually post textposts, but i decided to do something different because, its november!!! nd we all know this months is when things go wrong and i've been struggling to practice self-care so here are some of my favourite things i like to do to remind myself i am loved, and perhaps give you all some inspo if you're in a funk too!! <3
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listen to music i tend to have different playlists as i believe that the music you listen to dictates your mood. as much as i enjoy my jazz and classical, when im in a funk i need to be hype 24/7!! my go to's are usually anything future, miss stallion, glorilla, king von, tate mcrae, charli or carti. i need to listen to music that'll manifest success and confidence.
read i'll read anything really, just to keep my mind off social media BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO ROT MY BRAIN WHEN IM FEELING SULKY. im currently reading letters from a stoic by seneca - im learning plenty and its keeping me stay calm
body movement i love a good run, or a pilates sesh so i'll put all my anger and sadness into pushing myself to run an extra k, or that extra set. sometimes its nice to just clear ur lungs and ur mind, and it'll build my strength physically and mentally!!! plus i'll look even better so he'll regret ever ending things with me
visit the beach im a beach girl forever, the ocean has always been my best friend. a quick swim will alwayssss level me out. there's cute boutiques and my favourite açai place along the esplanade and i love walking down there during the sunset or sunrise to keep me busy.
annoy my friends i love my friends so much they're my everything!!! they bring me peace even if we're loud. there's something about surrounding yourself with positive and loving energy that i'll never get tired of, if i could i would give all my love in my body to them.
write ive always been a writer i think. i have to get everything in my mind onto paper or a document or i lose it. its nice to write in my journal about things im grateful for, things im scared about and things i want to achieve. as well as just what went on in my day - i think that now im out of high school im living a much more dramatic and different life to what i used to, so i need to process these things. also i write w a muji pen so it makes the experience so fun.
cry no matter how nonchalant i try to be, im a crier - even at the clubs (it gets embarrassing) but i find it a great way to rid my anger, sadness or stress - better out than in.
meditate ive only just started practicing this, but its very peaceful!! well duh i like to do it during sunset in the park near one of the beaches i frequent (so i can swim too hehe) and the sound of the waves, the people and life can kind of block out anything in my head!!
clean/re-organise my room organised room = organised mind!! (my dad taught me that one) but during this process i always find something that i forgot about and i get distracted, so it takes longer but i get the job #done
call my mummy my mum and i are close, shes my best friend so i tell her everything (except my tattoos and my ehem..rendevouz..) her wisdom has helped me in a lot of situations...i tend to write down the advice she gives me so i dont forget and fuck up. again :p
retail therapy maybe not the most healthy way of self-care, but it gets the job done i cannot lie!! sometimes you need to spend a little bit of money to sustain some peace in your life. you do need that glossier lip liner babe, get it, you deserve it.
ofc some of these things may not work well for you, but self-care is what makes you feel good!!! im open to new ideas of self-care so lmk what you guys do :p + thank you so much for 3 blessed years on this account, eternally grateful for everyone <3
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smoochhyuka · 11 months ago
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What about bf!anton with a loud s/o hes so soft spoken how would he be
Such a cute idea! I am a little bit of a loud person myself, so this is quite self-indulgent, haha.
Anton with a loud s/o
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You compliment each other perfectly.
○o。content warnings! SFW, gn!reader, established relationship, mention of alcohol, reader is described as loud, talkative, earnest, free-spirited and a little crazy/quirky, edited for spelling
You both struggle with volume, you're just on the polar opposites of the spectrum. Therefore, you can relate to each other well, always being told you're too quiet/loud, being criticized for your voices, or being teased about it.
Still, it might seem odd that someone as gentle and introverted as Anton would date someone as loud and chaotic as you, but you compliment each other perfectly.
He loves how enthusiastic you are, even about the littlest things, although you often startle him with your sudden outbursts.
"ANTON, look at that cute squirrel over there!" you squeal, tugging at his hand. Your boyfriend, clutching his heart with the other, breathes out heavily. He opens his eyes again after the initial shock, missing the squirrel. (the drama)
You never fail to hype him up. If he shows you something, whether it be a new song, something he decorated or his new muscle growth -- you're not afraid to praise him to the heavens and back. At first, he's shy about it, but later on in the relationship he'll take the praise, he might even make a few snarky remarks.
Since you're so honest about your feelings and thoughts, Anton also feels comfortable speaking a lot more openly about them around others, knowing it's okay to show vulnerability.
Thinks it's cute when you're acting a little crazy, dancing around the house or yapping until his ears bleed. He's seriously memorized by you, he's never bored. Sometimes he'll just sit on the sofa, cuddling a pillow or a plushie, and watch you/listen to you with a big grin on his face.
You always throw in a few compliments or confessions too, just so casually, it always makes his heart pound.
Your laugh is funnier than the joke itself. It's insane sounding, and he's living for it, always recording you when you're in a fit of laughter. Every time he misses you on tour, or if he's low on energy, he will just listen to these recordings.
Speaking of laughing, you two always have something to at least giggle about. Every week, you have a new running gag, meme or catchphrase you two repeat until everyone is sick of you two.
Around you, he feels so alive, you encourage him so much to step out of his comfort zone. He gets embarrassed easily, but when you're around, all shame leaves his body. Because you won't judge him, and everyone who does gets shut down by you.
He will match your energy after a few drinks, though, sometimes even surpassing you. You'll run around the streets, blasting music, dancing on park benches until the sun rises.
Naturally, some days he's quieter than the others, and he can always rely on you to make up for it, making sure he's heard. If it's an especially awful day (e.g. he's sick or in a bad mood), he'll just whisper to you what he wants, and you're announcing it to everyone in a 2-mile radius.
You always listen to him. Sometimes, especially in group settings, people tend to just not to hear him and not really care about what he said in the first place, but you always lean in when he says something and ask him to repeat himself if you didn't catch it. And you actually engage with it as well! Or bring it up later in the conversation, if it's relevant.
If you're speaking too loud in a setting where it's inappropriate, he'll grab your hand and squeeze it a few times, or maybe rub your lower back/shoulders if you didn't get the hint. He knows how humiliating it is to get called out publicly, so he'll always try to get you to relax by caressing you first.
He calls you his "little megaphone", my "crazy boy/girl", "professional yapper" or my "background/white noise" (lovingly <3)
As an introvert, he loves to have quiet moments, where he can just engage in some brain-dead activity... "brain-dead activity" = watching trash TV while listening to s/o's commentary. If he ACTUALLY needs some time for himself, he'll go write some music in his studio, knowing you won't join him (you are aware he can't write music while you're spinning around in a chair behind him, talking about lunch).
His social battery doesn't decrease with you. Everyone is surprised when Anton tells them (looking refreshed and energized, mind you) that you two spent the whole weekend together. They can't believe he didn't die from feeling overwhelmed.
He worries so much when you're quiet, or talk a lot more quietly, and he misses your chatter. It's a constant distraction, but in a good way. A vacation kind of distraction. He will talk in your place, filling the silence with random topics, hoping you might get distracted by your issues as well.
You learn to enjoy the quiet moments in life, and he gets more courageous. <3
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thekeeperof-thefandoms · 8 months ago
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Headcanons of Lucifer watching his s/o and Charlie getting along and maybe even having a little musical note together I just know he'd be getting all teary eyed and shit seeing his baby girl having some form of mother figure or someone she can really look to for advice currently present in her life ❤️ Thanks sm hope u have a good day/night!
Absolutely!
I think at first the relationship between Charlie and anyone her dad dates is awkward because she's so nice and trying to be supportive and Lucifer's new s/o would be trying too hard to create that bond. But steadily, you two would find real things you have in common and begin spending time together.
I'm going to use myself for reference here, but I personally really like arts and crafts kind of stuff and am willing to listen to pretty much all genres of music as long as I like the beat/rhythm. So I imagine most of your bonding is done making posters for the hotel, doing crafts with the guests, and just in general vibing to music together.
Like, one suggested activity for the group is coloring because it's a good outlet and it becomes so popular you guys just have a permanent stack of coloring pages and books available with marker, pens, colored pencils, and you, Charlie, Lucifer, and Vaggie are all just coloring and talking, Lucifer's telling embarrassing stories about baby Charlie for you and Vaggie, and you share a few embarrassing stories of yourself to make Charlie feel better and the absolute relief on her face is palpable.
Charlie is nervous because some sinners critiqued her hotel, her appearance, how her dad had to bail her out in the fight against heaven and it's all just making her upset. And of course her dad and her girlfriend are gonna say stuff about how she's beautiful, the hotel is a wonderful idea, and she was so brave in that fight. And like, yeah you're dating her dad and you've been super nice so far, but when you sit down next to her and ask quietly, "Can I offer you some advice?"
"Please? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing."
You laugh, patting her shoulder. "You're young, Charlie, you're not supposed to have it all figured out. But one thing you can do, is decide not to let judgemental pricks get to you. Take every criticism with a grain of salt. Improve, adapt, and filter out bullshit. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll exhaust yourself if you try. So as long as you're happy and at the end of the day you can say you're proud of what you've done, that you tried....well, that should be enough, right?"
Charlie thinks about it and nods. There's a visible shift in her attitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that....Do you think you could help me read through some of the reviews and stuff? I want to improve if there's any genuine issue that I can address and Dad and Vaggie are....a lot. They just keep trying to tell me everything is perfect."
"They're just trying to hype you up. They love you a lot, so naturally they want you to feel successful and excited. Come on, let's go make some big bowls of ice cream and read through those reviews using silly AI voices. It'll be hilarious."
You and Charlie head off to do just that, talkin and laughing, and neither one of you notices Lucifer absolutely melting into the floor from a few floors up, as he clings to the railing he was leaning against to ease drop. He's gonna need a few minutes to recover. He's crying happy tears. His little girl is grown up and getting along with his partner and they're spending time together and enjoying things together. You're giving her advice and offering her comfort and meeting Charlienat her level and he's just more convinced you're perfect.
He may or may not be ring shopping in the near future. Probably with Ozzie and Bee. They've always had good taste and will probably be thrilled to help him. And if Ozzie is also casually looking for a ring while they're out, well, Lucifer won't say anything.
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