#or like that would feel (or in this case: be) trustworthy anyways

[meanbossart]

I realize this is a weirdly specific question, but what was DU Drow’s experience like first waking up on the Nautiloid/on the beach?

Like, was he wearing Bhaalist stuff when he woke up then? If he was, did he ditch it right away or did he just leave it on until he found gear in better shape or maybe just didn’t want to associate with that symbolism/organization anymore? Like what was the thought process for him there, assuming that were the case??? If he was wearing something else, what might it have been?

I ask because I finally started my first Dark Urge playthrough yesterday (YIPPEE) and am plagued with thoughts about my guy, wondering if maybe he had some Bhaalist gear on when he first fell out of the Nautiloid that slowly was switched out for other things as the story progressed. Then I was like “oh hey what about Drow??? What was going through his head when he woke up that morning on the beach??????” Especially bc I can’t imagine he had much time to look at what he was wearing on the Nautiloid while it was still flying around.

ANYWAYS. Apologies for the ramble, my brain is plagued with thoughts now that I’m finally doing a Durge run so I might come at you with more random ass questions in the future >:)))

First of all AYYYY have fun with your first durge run!!! I'm always open to more questions if they happen to pop up throughout the experience.

Now to your question: An Interesting one! Though my answer might be disappointing LOL

In my personal lore, DU drow woke up from the tank with nothing but some scrappy underwear on - hell, It would probably make more sense if he was fully nude, even, but that would make many of the companion introductions a little too awkward - so, tattered underwear it is.

Considering what Kressa had been doing to him, I imagine that she would have either removed or destroyed his clothes at some point during the experimentation. DU drow was stuck with her for at least a few weeks - so, even if she didn't promptly undress him, his outfit would have been far too slashed, cut, and caked with old blood to keep, and likely torn off so it would stop getting in the way.

Her husband (I think he's the one who ships you away, if memory serves me right) would have had little reason to send him off with dignity - BUT perhaps he slipped some briefs back onto the drow's body because he felt ashamed of the implications of his wife keeping a battered, nude man around.

So, DU drow slides out of his pod, caked with old blood with only some ill-fitting linens covering his groin. He picks up whatever sharp object he finds lying around for self defense and proceeds through the ship, barefoot, hair matted, having no idea who he is, what he looks like, or how he got here. He's completely overtaken by his self-preservation instincts and being confused is second to getting out of his situation alive. He goes along with Lae'zel because she seems to have at least some idea of what's going on, and he frees Shadowheart from her pod because she seems more trustworthy than Lae'zel.

He probably stripped the trousers off of one of the corpses lying around the beach after the actual crash (they would have been a little tight, but it's better than nothing) and god-willing was able to snatch some fresher underwear at the grove or something. The only indicatives he had of a past life were his scars, and I guess his unusual features. The thing is - whenever he first caught sight of his reflection, he very much liked what he saw looking back. Someone else might have been shocked by their appearance, but what DU drow felt would have been more akin to a kind of relief - I'm strong. I'm big. I'm intimidating. Good. As it should be.

And well... There's not much reason to give it thought past that. His looks feel right, he thinks he looks attractive, even his scars are somewhat comforting. Tadpole and odd company aside, it actually feels nice to be himself right now, so why ruin it with questions and concerns.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another specific scenario nice & simple like winston "isn't allowed to have a 'correct' cishet(tm) gender n sexuality anyways" "keeps immediately latching on to the nonbinariest people around him" billions goes yolo mode after going [just endlessly weather it at the sunk cost factory] firmly established itself as a shitshow and decides like i'm gonna hook up with a guy fr (has not already happened, in this specific scenario) and then does so, congrats to him. however, with all the precedent in the world, it's like here's your big anxiety about any autodidactic sex ed beforehand. here's your big anxiety about just general surveillance & malicious handling of it afterwards. no way anyone could have completely founded hangups about everything even further just indefinitely now. bonus points though he still goes to math meetup has real math friends over there who have Really provided the [yeah it's not actually a popularity contest here] arena & he's known them for years & let's say has at least One amicable person who talks with him out of it, maybe even two. congrats to him canonly for getting out of there, sure hurt him as much as they possibly could on his way out though, was legitimately the goal

[goldentigerfestival]

god i just. the sheer fucking hurt in his voice. feeling so used. so untrusted. had a bounty on his head that wasn't even his fault and he still won't be told him the truth and estelle, too, still hides things from him after he helped her and they'd been traveling together. not only that, but the empire is too busy having its own internal issues to pay attention to its own suffering people.

i hate seeing him so upset, that's my baby boy.

more feelings in the tags

[aireia]

from the stars did your kindness bleed through. — you are a spy, he is a sorcerer, a student in the very place you plan on betraying, but he doesn't know that, because he'll fall for you, the same way you fell for him.

tw/cw: reader referred to with she/her. angst with little fluff. hurt no comfort. spy! reader. spying. mentions of blood. minor violence. blades. suicide/ self harm. death. injuries. lowercase intended. author's first language isn't english. wc: 7.5K

note: riko told me to rival her 6.2k word fic, so i'm pulling up with this. (i got carried away) —masterlist

entry snippet, september 5th.

gojo introduced us to a new student today. she seems a little bit like me, but she isn’t, at least that’s what our unreliable teacher told us.she hasn’t interacted much with itadori or kugisaki, even after their pestering. i’m guessing it’ll take a while for her to get used to the new faces. not that it concerns me anyway…

the sun didn’t shine very brightly the next day. grey clouds covered the skies, the winds were getting colder, the once green leaves on trees were turning into a mixture of yellows and browns. winter would be approaching in just a few months, which meant they’d soon have those nights again, where they’d get permission to stay at each other’s dorms and have sleepovers while trying not to burn the kitchen down by making ominous hot chocolate for each other.

that morning when the trio walked into class, they were greeted by you absentmindedly staring out the window at the falling leaves. no concentration to any surroundings, considering you didn’t even look at them when they came in. yuji was the first one to say something, loudly greeting you a good morning, followed by your name, hoping to catch your attention.

you looked over to the trio, trying to take note of their expressions. 

itadori yuji, who seemed excited, waving with his arm in the air and a grin as if you were worlds apart and you wouldn’t have seen him if he didn’t.

kugisaki nobara, who waved with a smile on her face. the perfect mix of crazy and calm, you think.

and finally, fushiguro megumi, who had his arm raised in an attempt to wave, but instead looked like he was raising his hand to answer a question. his expression showed nothing, something between irritated and ‘why am i friends with these people again?’ 

he reminded you of yourself… in a way. probably not what you were thinking about him, but something about him. maybe it was keeping interactions at minimum with people he didn’t know much about… yea. you’ll keep it at that. 

the hyper duo had walked up to your desk before you finished processing your own thoughts. itadori slammed both his hands on your table, causing some of your things to vibrate upon contact. 

“so, y/n, where are you from? what grade are you?” he asked.

“i’m from osaka, and i’m a semi second grade sorcerer.” lies spilled from your mouth easier than when you breathed around them the day prior. being a spy meant having to detach your identity as a person, which also meant having to create layers and layers of lies about who you actually were. 

right before the cheerful boy managed to get another question in, the door of the class flew open, and gojo walked into class with nothing but happiness and positivity surrounding his aura… he was about to send all of you on a mission. you knew, even if it was just a gut feeling.

a loud clap followed by details of a new case confirmed your suspicions. a simple investigation in shinjuku about an unidentified curse that had caused deaths and disappearances of innocent civilians, as well as injuring numerous others.

“i’ll be leaving the rest of the details to our trustworthy assistant director ijichi! he’ll be waiting for you at the entrance.” gojo finished his ‘speech’ before hurrying all of you out the door.

-

“that gojo…” ijichi silently sighed before beginning the mission brief. 

“your task is to only collect information from the residents in a specific area of shinjuku, mainly the offices around schools.” ijichi stopped speaking, only continuing after a brief period of silence. “If you happen to run into any high grade curses, please don’t try to challenge it.” 

“my heart can’t take this type of stress anymore…” ijichi sighed.

the four of you began the mission shortly after, around 10am in the morning. you began by questioning some of the residents. a lot of them seemed nervous the moment anyone in your group mentioned the curse, some even running away from you. most of them didn’t have any information either. 

when noon rolled around and your efforts weren’t bearing any fruits, the four of you decided to split into two groups. nobara with yuji, you with megumi. after the split up, you and megumi continued the search for anyone that might have had any type of intel. you never expected him to speak to you first.

“l/n, right? let me be straightforward about this. why did you join jujutsu high school?” 

“to spy on you, obviously,” but you couldn’t say that.

“to help others,” another lie slipped past your lips.

“...did principal yaga actually let you pass the interview with that answer..?” 

“no, but i doubt you’d want to listen to the speech i memorised to get in. he told me to stop before i finished it,” you sighed, remembering the amount of struggle you faced a few days before the interview. you had to ensure you had a 100% chance of getting into the school, or you would’ve been a failure as a spy. who the hell failed a mission before it even began?

megumi looked at you with a bewildered expression, though quickly shook the look off his face as you approached an ice cream vendor near one of the high schools. 

“recently, less and less people have come by to buy ice cream. a lot of those were kids who would come by to get a sweet treat after school, so i have noticed quite a few of those disappearances.” the vendor placed his fingers on his chin, thinking of the customers that he enjoyed speaking to, even if their interactions were limited.

“alright. thanks for your time,” you expressed your gratitude, even though the things that the vendor had said had helped you in your investigation in… absolutely no way possible.

just as you and the raven haired boy walked away, your phones rang. a message from yuji, reading, “we ran into one of the victims that managed to escape the cursed spirit!! apparently most of the victims are people who’ve lost or cut contact with their parents. they won’t tell us anymore about it.”

“that’s vile,” you thought to yourself. 

“we should meet up with them and report back.”

-

“so, what do we do now?” nobara whined out of boredom. ever since reporting back, there hadn’t been much to do. you all had a free day, but nothing to fill said free day with.

“we should go watch human earthworm 4!” 

“no.” nobara and megumi said in unison, wanting to avoid the movie at all costs. 

“oh! y/n, we should go shopping together!” nobara suggested. and somehow against both yuji and megumi’s wills, you had all been dragged to go shopping.

nobara suggested that she helped you get a new wardrobe, which ended in you trying on multiple sets of clothes. nobara insisted that you got them, and forced megumi to carry your shopping bags even though you said it wasn’t needed and felt bad that he had to help.

the rest of the day went by with a blur, and you exited the mall after the four of you had a few photos taken in a photobooth. 

“my child…” everyone was walking in front of you when you heard that voice. it sounded oddly familiar, and it was calling out to you. you whipped your head around to look for the source, but there wasn’t anyone there. the call of your names continued, and you strayed from the group to look for the source of the sound. 

you were almost one hundred percent positive that it was the curse you had investigated the other day. why was it targeting you? and no one else in the group seemed to hear anything either. 

eventually, you were led to an abandoned building. you could feel the cursed energy leaking from it, and there was a very pungent smell coming from the abandoned structure. you briefly wonder how no one has flagged the place for an investigation yet. maybe it was, and was ignored. who knows?

the voice continued to lure you closer to the building, eventually getting you into the building and up the slippery stairs, wet from the leaking pipes around the building. your footsteps echoed in the building, the sound of your breathing in your ears. 

you walked up to a room with a closed door. a heavy stench seeping from the gaps of the door, even worse than when you were in front of the building. maybe coming here hadn’t been your best idea, but you were already this close, so why stop here? 

you exhaled deeply before twisting the rusty knob open. you saw the dead. blood and corpses were by the spirit’s legs. its claws were digging into the flesh of the innocent, shaking the body as if trying to toy with it more.

the report you submitted was done a week ago, and the incident started way before this. these bodies had been rotting for weeks at least. assuming the cursed spirit in front of you killed all the people around it, you were going to be next. 

you entered a defensive stance, hand on the handle of your weapon, ready to fight if it pounced on you. instead, you watched as it slowly turned its head towards you and walked towards you. your body tensed, but it didn’t seem to bear any hostility. 

it held its hand out, taking one of your hands, and you found yourself unable to move. even when you screamed at yourself to get out of the way, you found yourself unable to resist as it dragged its fingers along your wrist, a thin line of red bleeding out.

“l/n, step back!” the familiar voice snapped you out of whatever trance you were in before the spirit in front of you was hit with a few nails. 

“you’re just like fushiguro. you really should tell us more about yourself, you know?” nobara sighed, holding her hammer over her shoulder. “oi, i’m the one who noticed she disappeared in the first place,” megumi grumbled. you looked at his hands. 

so that’s how they found you.

“if anything, she reminds me of when you first came to the city, kugisaki!” yuji chirped in, seeming laid back even in this situation. he turned to look at you. “you aren’t hurt anywhere else other than your hand, right?” you shook your head.

you looked at the spirit on the ground. it was a first grade at most, but it had been weakened significantly, probably even before you arrived. it wasn’t long before you exercised it, with some degree of resistance. 

as the three of them prepared to leave, you walked towards one of the dead bodies and crouched down, placing your hand over them. 

while yuji and nobara had already left, megumi was curious about what you were doing. you got up and exhaled when he asked. “i don’t know if it works on those who’ve already passed, but usually, my cursed technique allows me to grant people on the verge of death a better demise.”

“it overrides the brain and erases any and all memories they have in exchange for peace, and a painless goodbye.”

“those two are probably waiting for us. we should report back.”

-

when you got back to your dorm, you took the picture out and stared at it. more people that you couldn’t be friends with, but they had saved you earlier… maybe you’d get it framed just to decorate your dorm.

you looked at your injured arm, which had been bandaged, and closed your eyes. 

yuji itadori is physically gifted, a guy born with a set moral standard. his mental game is easily shaken, but that might change in the future. he has a ton of room for improvement. that’s what makes him scary. 

nobara kugisaki is strong-willed, a woman born by the countryside. she cares for others the way she cares for herself, and doesn’t like showing her affected mental state to the world. she’s strong in her own way, and that’s just the type of person she is.

-

weeks passed by quickly. you continued gathering as much information as possible, while growing closer to your classmates. yuji often told you to cover up for the pranks he pulled, nobara would invite you out to go shopping with her, and you and megumi enjoyed reading together.

one morning, you saw megumi sitting by the benches eating alone. right, yuji and nobara had recently been dispatched on missions. you realised early on that you preferred to be with megumi out of everyone. 

maybe it was his personality that drew you in? the both of you were paired up on missions often, so maybe the fact that you were partners helped develop your trust in each other… when he shouldn’t be trusting you at all. or perhaps it was the way he put you first instead of himself. 

megumi is a selfless person that might not seem caring at first glance, but actually does in his own way. he holds back a lot, and has a mind matured enough to compare to that of a man twice his age, though lets loose around people he can truly find comfort in. that was the conclusion you came to about his character. 

you walked towards him, hoping to be able to make small talk with him. instead, you were called upon by someone right before you got to him. 

-

“so this is the location?” you and megumi had been informed of a cave infested with multiple third and fourth grade spirits. your job was simple. take care of them and go home. 

“yea. be careful,” you said, gripping your weapon tightly. 

you and megumi stepped into the cave, almost immediately registering that there was something wrong. a veil was lowered. were such low grade spirits capable of such a thing? you gulped and looked around. just the herds of lowly graded cursed spirits around. no signs of anything else.

“be careful.”

the both of you managed to make quick work of the spirits. a few scrapes, sure, but you were overall uninjured. now, there was only one problem. every last spirit in sight had been exorcised by you and megumi, but the veil wasn’t lifting. something was still there, and you both knew. 

something in your senses clicked. “fushiguro, jump out of the way!” you screamed at him. there was something underneath you, and megumi had dodged just quick enough to not be drilled and split into two halves. 

a drop of sweat rolled down the side of megumi’s face. how would he deal with this? his first thought was to have you distract it while he attacked, but that would probably be useless and would put you and him in too much danger. 

“fushiguro! focus!” megumi lifted his head up, and you were in front of him. you had blocked a direct strike for him. he needed to concentrate. this wasn’t like the spirit you had dealt with at the abandoned building, where it showed little to no hostility, and had been weakened.

“are you back in your game yet?” you breathed out, the tiredness from blocking the attack and dealing with the earlier curses starting to kick in.

megumi took one look at your expression and hummed. there was something about it he couldn’t read, but he can’t let his thoughts consume him now.

you aren’t allowed to die here. 

the both of you observed the curse for a little longer while simultaneously dodging its attacks. it primarily dug underground to attack, which made it hard to predict where its location was. the only warning sign was the rumbling of the ground before it drilled back up, which made it just a little easier to dodge. 

it could blast balls of pure cursed energy, and with each dodge meant the interior of the cave was crumbling. you’d have to look out for falling rocks and stray boulders. 

its weak point was probably somewhere other than its head, considering it used it to dig into places. 

you shot glances at each other before megumi summoned his demon dogs to attack it from behind. “i have your back.” 

you and megumi took turns switching on offence and defence. the one on offence would deal attacks to the cursed spirit, while the one on defence would watch out for oncoming attacks and destroy any rocks that were falling from the ceiling of the cave. 

the plan worked well for the both of you. the uncertainty of when the both of you would switch out confused the curse, making it more vulnerable to your attacks. once you felt that the curse was confident on when you’d switch, you and megumi delivered one final attack to it together, letting it fall with a thump. 

“is it over?” you heaved, your hand over your chest. a sudden realisation hit. the veil hasn’t been dropped. that meant– 

“l/n, look out!” megumi pushed you out of the way before he got hit by a shot of pure cursed energy. you hear the sound of his body smashing against the rough walls, and his coughing afterwards. you looked towards megumi and briefly saw him cough blood out. you’re hoping he didn’t take the impact head first. 

you narrowly managed to escape another blow just when your eyes snapped back onto the weakened, but still active cursed spirit. it can be exorcised in a single blow. 

you rushed towards it and drove your weapon through its body as hard as possible, twisting, and slicing right through it. it’s as good as dead. you stared at the splatters on the floor that used to be a cursed spirit. you don’t have time for this. 

turning your head away from the remains of your enemy, you focused your attention to megumi who was bloodied and injured. he was resting against the stone walls of the cave, and you could hear his heavy pants and breaths. you gulped and looked at his leg. it had stopped bleeding, the crimson now staining his leg.

you ripped a part of your uniform before crouching in front of megumi to tend to the wound. your eyes showed almost no emotion in the face of the situation, yet your trembling lips gave yourself away. you weren’t supposed to care for them, and yet here you were helping one of your targets. 

you only spoke up once you finished bandaging his wound with the makeshift bandage.

“why would you do that?” you had unintentionally let your emotions slip. megumi looked at you tiredly. “just returning the favour. i would’ve gotten hurt if you hadn’t blocked the attack at the start of our battle.”

“fushiguro-” you started, quickly being cut off by megumi. “i know what you’re about to ask me,” he coughed a few times before he continued to speak. “you’re assuming i’m going to die? you’re cruel, you know?”

you tried to find words to speak, yet all you could say was a “no, i’m not,” turning your head away to not meet his gaze.

“i would kill myself if i died on you now,” he confessed, closing his tired eyes. 

“and besides, you’re all i really want to think of right now.” 

megumi went completely silent afterwards, and you heard soft breathing coming from him, compared to the heavy breaths from just a few minutes prior.

the next time he awoke, you were asleep, your head in your arms by his bedside. he felt a little sluggish, but his wounds had been properly bandaged and he was fine, aside from some soreness. you on the other hand, looked exhausted. there were creases on your forehead as you slept, and dark circles under your eyes.

there was a plate of food wrapped up on his nightstand, with a note stuck to it. “we make a good team.”

only after did he learn from shoko that you had completely gone against her instructions of two days of bed rest, and spent the time taking care of him instead. 

-

“you still couldn’t have brought something more digestible?” megumi eyed the three of you, who had brought pizza to him. something that probably wasn’t nutritious enough for a patient in recovery.

“if you don’t want it, i’ll help myself!” the pink haired male took a slice of the pizza and began feasting on it. “oh, and since we’re already here, let’s just have our sleepover at fushiguro’s!” “itadori, talk after you’re done eating!” nobara shuddered at the sight of the food in his open mouth, while megumi looked as if he were about to kick everyone out of his room.

“we are not having a sleepover in my room,” megumi said in a deadpan voice, though the annoyance was evident on his face. “we can’t have it anywhere else because you aren’t permitted to leave your room, fushiguro,” you joined in on itadori’s suggestion.

“hypocrite,” megumi thought.

“alright it’s settled, we’ll have it here!” nobara clasped her hands together in victory, earning a sigh from megumi. “i still haven’t agreed to this,” he grumbled.

-

december 21st.

it’s cold outside. the temperatures have dropped significantly ever since the day you stepped foot into jujutsu tech. currently, you, alongside two of your classmates, were camping in megumi’s room. you had to admit, with so many people, the room considered spacious for one person became cramped.

you were sitting on megumi’s bed with a mug of hot chocolate in hand as you watched nobara and yuji fight over what they wanted to put into each other’s drinks. you found their sibling dynamic entertaining. megumi on the other hand, looked at you with softness in his eyes. the both of you had grown a lot closer compared to the first day you met. you were grateful for that.

maybe not in the right way, but at least you knew he was your friend, right?

the night went on with both chaos and comfort. yuji had suggested playing cards at one point, and he lost just about every single round. monopoly was going great until megumi somehow dominated the game so hard that the banker had to borrow money from him. 

“i’m telling you fushiguro, it’s just this once! i’ll pay you back!” “you’ve said that about three times, itadori.”

you certainly weren’t in any place to laugh, and neither was nobara, since the both of you were basically hanging onto a thin thread, and if by any chance you landed on anyone’s property other than your own, you would’ve been out of the game from bankruptcy.

but you laughed anyway.

the night ended with all of you (except megumi) in your respective sleeping bags with extra blankets in case it got cold. it was quiet. too quiet, even with yuji’s snoring and nobara’s breathing. maybe that’s why you couldn’t fall asleep.

you slowly sat up, careful not to make too much noise. you looked at the clock on megumi’s nightstand. 11:47pm, thirteen minutes till midnight. 

“can’t sleep?” a quiet and soft voice invaded your ears, and you looked over to megumi. he was lying down on his bed, staring out into the bushes and trees, which had been covered in a thin layer of snow. as a response, you shook your head and got up to sit on his bed. the both of you sat in silence for a while before you spoke up. 

“fushiguro, you like the stars, right? wanna go stargazing on the roof?” 

“are you crazy? it’s freezing outside.”

“we can use blankets.” 

“have you forgotten that my leg’s still injured?” 

“i’ll carry you up.”

that was how you found yourself sitting on the rooftops with a thick blanket around your shoulders. the stars shone brighter tonight. the cold winter wind that breezed by you every once in a while made you shiver. you looked up at the moon, it was full tonight. although the moon didn’t have an expression, you were sure it was smiling down at you and the raven haired boy sitting next to you.

come to think of it, even without exchanging a lot of words, you’d argue that you were closest to megumi out of all your classmates. when you first met him, you saw him as the moon, someone like yourself. yet you realised over the months that if you had to describe him, you’d have to say he were the stars. so pretty, yet disregarded by many as something outshone by the moon. 

“y/n,” megumi’s voice broke through the comfortable silence, and you looked over at him. he had a small smile on his face. you felt him shuffle closer to you. maybe it was getting cold? the wind was getting stronger, afterall.

“yes?” megumi looked at the moon once more, then back at you. “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” the words reached your ears, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. “and what of the sunset?” you questioned him back, feelings hidden behind your eyes and the convincing smile you put on your face.

“the sunset? i dislike it. the rays of the sun blind me too much for me to appreciate it as much as others do.” the sound of your soft laughter reached his ears again when he finished his sentence. “is that so…” you rested your head on his shoulder and looked towards the skies, some of the stars now covered by clouds. “really? i think the moon is beautiful too, but i’m the opposite. i prefer sunsets over moonrises.” you continued, one of your hands inching closer to him and eventually resting on top of his hand.

you exhaled deeply before lifting your head up. “fushiguro, what time is it?” he looked at you with confusion before answering. “a little bit past midnight, i’m guessing.” “oh.”

“may i kiss you?”

your question caught megumi off guard. it was expected, considering it came out of nowhere. a familiar warmth creeped up his face, and the hand on top of his now seemed to weigh heavier as you looked at him, awaiting an answer. he slowly nodded, and you leaned in to press your lips against his. the kiss was short and sweet, the light of the stars shining down upon him as you did.

“fushiguro-” 

“don’t call me by my last name.” you smiled when he said those words. 

“happy birthday, megumi.”

-

nobara eyed the both of you suspiciously, looking you up and down. “you guys could at least try to keep it down when you’re climbing onto the roof. i need my sleep,” 

“i thought i was being quiet. my bad,” you apologised sheepishly. the brunette looked clearly annoyed before she sighed and let it go. 

“sorry,” megumi said to you. “why are you saying sorry?” you shot him a confused look. 

“we would’ve been quieter if you didn’t have to carry me.” 

“oh, thaaattt,” you dragged your words out. “don’t feel bad. you were worth it.” 

“how about you come with me to the cliffs sometime? maybe in the next few days? there’s a great view of the ocean and sky from there, and it’s more secluded.” the invitation fell from your lips before you even processed it. 

a rare smile appeared on megumi’s face. “alright.”

“what are you two doing?! we have a mission soon, hurry up!”

-

he kept to his word. you and megumi ended up going stargazing together so often that yuji and nobara started questioning if you were going on dates. to them, it was blatantly obvious that you two liked each other. hell, even the both of you knew. it was just that none of you had confessed yet. 

megumi always felt warmth when you guys would go together, pointing out constellations and shapes of the clouds when you did. 

you on the other hand, felt the spark between you grow stronger the first few times. you tried your hardest to suppress the rising guilt. afterwards however, you spiralled deeper and deeper into the guilt you felt as a spy. you were never supposed to fall in love with him, and yet you couldn’t help but do exactly that. 

you wanted– no, needed to get rid of your feelings for him. you would never want it, but you’d need it in order to get over him.

you began growing more distant. it was hard, slowly excluding yourself from hangouts and ignoring them more and more, day by day. you felt terrible. every second away from them felt agonising. you’d push them away, dismissing their help. 

the fact that they noticed your distance made it feel even worse. you were going to betray them, and everything you had built up for four months, their trust, friendship, it would crumble.

you’d complete your mission and switch identities again. anyone you’ve met here won’t matter anymore once you disappear. that’s what you reminded yourself.

-

january 25th.

“oh, you’re here,” you approached megumi from behind, sitting down beside him. the skies were dyed with violet and orange hues, the sunset that megumi had once described to be too bright. 

“i was waiting for you. you’ve been quite distant lately.”

“i thought you said you hated the sunset?” you asked, changing the subject to avoid the question. “don’t try to change the subject, y/n. answer me, please, tell me what’s going on.” you could hear the alarms in your mind go off. you wanted to get up and run away. hell, you should’ve never succumbed to the burning feelings in your heart over your mind. 

“it’s really nothing. i’ve just been more busy lately, i guess,” a lie rolled off your tongue again.

megumi sighed. he could tell you were lying, but he didn’t want to push it. “you said the sunset was pretty. i thought the other day that maybe it was because i never took the time to appreciate it, but…”

“hm?” you hummed, looking at megumi. 

“i still can’t see why you like it that much. i still prefer the night skies better.” 

the soft laughter you let out afterwards had goosebumps pricking on his skin. he watched as the light of the sun glowed on your skin, and you looked at him. “i personally prefer the sunset…”

“but if you like the stars that much, i’ll be sure to hate the sun and love stars the next time i’m reborn.”

a light shade of red appeared on megumi’s face, and he turned to look away from you. in reality though, he’s glad. there’s the girl he fell in love with. “you don’t have to do that. we can like what we want.” 

“and i want to be able to truly love the stars.” you said, your tone sullen. 

night fell not long after, but there was no moon that night. the waves underneath you didn’t seem calm either. it was especially cold this winter night, and you and megumi found yourselves bidding goodbye to each other in front of the dorms earlier than you expected. 

mental entry, january 25th.

i wasn’t planning on seeing megumi at the cliffs today, but he was there. i was planning on spending the last day at jujutsu high alone. megumi and i really are alike. It’s a fault on my part, i guess. i grew too attached to them.

i don’t want to do this anymore.

you gulped, and just before he was out of earshot, you called out to him, grabbing his attention. he turned around to look at you, only for you to mumble a “nevermind” before quickly apologising and running back to your dorm. you couldn’t bear to tell him.

megumi was confused. why’d you suddenly call out for him? he decided not to dwell too much on it and went to bed. and the more he thought about it, the more he felt as if he had lost the chance to speak to you about something important, because you disappeared the next day.

you stopped going to classes, training, and you weren’t responding to texts either. any calls were immediately sent to voicemail, and other than the picture that the four of you took at the mall months prior, which was framed on your nightstand, your dorm had been completely emptied out.

megumi was the last person to see you.

the week following your disappearance, it was raining every day. although the higher-ups had confirmed to have launched an investigation for you, megumi was sure that they were looking into things much deeper than just your status as a missing student. he just wasn’t sure what it was. 

the first day you were introduced to them, he felt that you were different in a way. was this connected to it? 

the higher-ups had also told the first years to not worry, and that they’d take care of it. as if they’d ever listen. they had discussions every single day about where you might’ve gone, if you were okay or not, and why they couldn’t see signs of this earlier. 

they got confirmation shortly after that there were no signs of cursed energy from your dorm. it was as if you had never existed, and had it not been for the pictures you’d taken together, along with the texts you’d exchanged with each other, he probably would’ve believed it.

-

february 26th.

JUJUTSU HEADQUARTERS NOTICE

one, y/n l/n has been confirmed to be sharing confidential information to third party sources. she has hereby been expelled from both jujutsu high and the jujutsu realm as a sorcerer. 

two, the penalty of the crimes committed by y/n l/n is death. the execution will be carried out promptly.

three, second grade sorcerer megumi fushiguro will serve as the executioner for y/n l/n’s death penalty.

-

a full month after your disappearance, a notice was released by jujutsu headquarters. 

megumi’s head was pounding. he had just returned from a meeting with the higher-ups, and throughout the entire time he was in front of them, he wished for nothing more than for whatever you were accused of to be false. he was hyperventilating, his face in his hands. megumi swore he heard loud footsteps outside his room before loud knocks echoed through his room. 

 “fushiguro, open up!” the familiar voices of his classmates rang in his ears. no. as much as he wished to find comfort in his friends, he didn’t want them to see him in such a terrible state, so why did his legs move to help him stand and walk towards the door?

megumi doesn’t know whether to regret or to thank his decision of opening the door. his mind couldn’t register that it was yuji who placed his calloused hands on his shoulders and told him to snap out of it. even when they questioned him for details about you, whether he knew about your intentions, and if it was the reason you had grown distant the few weeks before you vanished, he answered vaguely. all he could think of was that it was over. you’re gone, and you’re never coming back. 

megumi wanted to run into the pouring rain and let it wash his soul away so he wouldn’t have to face reality. he wished he’d wake up and realise it was all just a dream, and he could still see your face when he walked out of the dorm in the morning. he remembers the words of the higher-ups so clearly, he was to carry out the execution without delay. he wants to be selfish and give the responsibility to either nobara or yuji, yet the better part of him stopped him from doing so. he can’t do that to them. for once, megumi wished that he would stop loving you.

that night, megumi had trouble falling asleep. he found himself tossing and turning in bed, his head constantly clouded with the many things that would follow this incident. it felt like hours before he managed to go to sleep. 

-

he saw you, right there by the cliffs. you were looking at the sunset again. now that he thought about it, how many of the things you’ve told him were lies? 

megumi walked towards you, standing beside you as he watched the sunset with you. 

“megumi, i understand why you dislike the sunset now,” you said to him, earning a puzzled look from him. “i thought you loved the sunset?” he asked. the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks reached his ears, and you turned your head to look at him. 

“it really is too bright. it doesn’t suit me.” you replied. 

“megumi, have you regretted it yet?” you questioned him back, and he gulped. “regretted what, exactly?”

“us.” 

megumi wanted to say yes. he did regret it. he regretted that he loved someone whose purpose was to eventually betray and leave him. yet, his answer was stuck in his throat, and he said he never did. not for a second did he feel that you weren’t worth his time. he looked towards the horizon, where the sun had now fully set, then at the sky, where the moon was supposed to be, and finally, back at you.

“you made me fall in love with the moon.” you chuckled at his answer.

“i thought you loved the moon from the start.” a brief silence ensued. one that felt comfortable. something he couldn’t feel for the past month when you were brought up.

“would you let me substitute the moon in your sky?” your voice pierced through the silence, and he responded almost instantly.

“always.” 

a content smile appeared on your face. “i’m glad.”

megumi’s eyes fluttered open, the sun shining in his eyes. the male rubbed tried to rub the sleep in his eyes away, only to be met with a damp feeling. tears? what was that about? his mind was hazy, and he swore he dreamt, but he couldn’t remember what it was about. 

he could remember the curve of someone’s lips. yours? yea, it was. even if he went through hundreds of lives, he doesn’t think he’d mistake someone else’s smile for yours.

he didn’t have time to think about that. through the hours of lost sleep, he had convinced himself he was ready to serve his role as an executioner, and he had a feeling in his gut he knew where you were already. at the place he had refused to visit. his mind told him that you had been going there every single day, waiting for him.

-

“you’re finally here.” megumi could feel his heart clenched as he heard your words, and the eerie silence that followed creeped him out. you had a smile on your face, arms behind your back as you looked at him. 

“why aren't you moving?” you turned your body to look at him and spread your arms out. “you need to do your job, megumi.” the smile on your face dropped when you noticed he wasn’t going near you. there were no signs that his shikigami were active either.

one step, two steps, you walked towards him instead. a part of you felt as if you were walking towards your death. you felt him flinch when you used a hand to cup his cheek. his skin felt cold and slightly damp to the touch. he had been sweating. you looked down. his blade was just inches away from your stomach.

you took his expression in, and you couldn’t help but hold back your laughter. megumi’s eyes widened when you suddenly laughed. he felt guilty for loving it. was it genuine? or another one of the things you did as a spy to toy with his feelings? 

“megumi, you’ve grown attached too, huh?” it only dawned on him then that you felt just as guilty for everything you were. 

“do you know what would’ve happened if you sold us out?” megumi spoke with poison laced in his tone, and a lump formed in your throat. “the world would’ve weeped for your sins, y/n.” your expression dropped completely. “i know that better than you do, and here i am, giving you a chance to end my life. yet, you’re hesitating,” you retort back.

“so hurry up already.” you looked at him with sharp eyes, looking for any signs that he might finally give in to the orders given to him. megumi’s hands trembled as he tightened his grip around the handle of his sword. “it’s not that easy to just…” he groaned loudly.

“megumi, do you want to know why they chose you to execute me instead of anyone else?” you sighed and stared directly into his eyes. “they knew i would have resisted had it been anyone else but you.”

your hands went to wrap around his. then, you slowly pry his fingers off his blade and inspect it for yourself. “you sharpened your blade. were you hoping to finish me off in a single strike?” megumi almost choked on air in response, and nodded.

your eyes softened. “how nice of him,” you thought. 

“how about this?” you stepped further away from him and pointed the sword at your skull. “i’ll be the one to carry out my own execution. then,” you pointed your finger at him. “you won’t have to bear the burden of killing me.” you could hear megumi’s heavy breaths. it seemed that reality had yet to crash into him when he first found you here. “megumi,” you whispered as you took one final look at him, “i think you know better than i that i wasn’t trying to give you an option.” you gripped the sharpened blade and winced at the pain as your hands bled, then flashed him a quick smile before you slashed your eyes.

you groaned, holding back the scream threatening to release itself in an attempt to sooth the pain in your eyes. you had no right after all the hurt you’d caused. you couldn’t open your eyes. it hurt like hell, but you didn’t want to see the look on his face either. you convinced yourself it was worth it. 

megumi felt as if he were frozen during the entire duration of your encounter with him. what was he doing? he was spiralling into his own thoughts, and here you were, handling your own execution because he was too much attached and too much in love with you. 

every nerve and muscle in your body seemed to scream at you as you gripped the handle of megumi’s sword tight. even then, your ears couldn’t mistake the heavy footsteps of your beloved as he ran towards you just as his blade pierced your abdomen. his scream rang through your ears when crimson spilled from your wound.

ah, it seemed that blinding your eyes wasn’t enough to keep yourself from thinking of his panicked expression and guilt ridden face.

then, everything went black. you weren’t sure how long you were out for. a few seconds, perhaps a few minutes? your entire body stung, as if you were laying in a tangle of thorned roses. one thing was for sure, you were dying. 

you felt something soft under your head instead of the grassy surface the rest of your body laid on. “megumi…?” your voice sounded tired and hoarse. “is that you?” there was a brief period of silence that made you doubt his presence, but a hum from him confirmed that he was indeed still there. a smile tugged at your face even through all the ache.

“i can’t see right now. look up.” megumi looked up, and realised today was the beginning of a new moon. he could barely see anything. “could you tell me what the moon looks like?” 

“a blood moon. it looks as if roses had bloomed on the moon.” liar.

“it’s not good to lie, megumi. but it’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“very.”

you didn’t exchange any words to each other for a period of time after that. by now, your breathing had calmed down, and everything around you seemed hot and cold at the same time. something in you told you to let go of your consciousness, and another part wished you’d stay awake longer to feel megumi’s touch. be a little selfish, you told yourself. 

you shakily reached your hand up towards the skies. you balled up your fist, a part of your childish mind hoping you had caught a star.

megumi could hear his heart thumping in his chest, and he pulled your body closer to him. he thought to himself, even if there had been that satellite in the sky, his moon was going to stop shining soon. he couldn’t help but wonder if the stars in your sky had burnt themselves out. 

maybe all of them, except for the one that willingly let the moon outshine it.

“y/n, can’t you use your technique to give yourself a better death?” megumi asked, his hand supporting the weak, quivering fist you held up, his thumb brushing your knuckles.

“i can,” you replied back without hesitation. 

“but i’d have to erase everything that’s in my mind. and besides,” you flashed him a pained toothy grin. 

“you’re all i really want to think of right now, megumi.” 

by user @ aireia, do not plagiarize and/or translate.

fun fact: i actually invested sm into this fic i made sketches of the one of the curses

[picturejasper20]

How Vlad’s arc is going to be post A Glitch in Time?

A few days ago @pedanticat released an interview with the author of A Glitch in Time graphic novel, Gabriela Epstein, in it they cover a lot of things about the novel and the original series but what i want to focus on is in the part they talk about why Vlad was given a redemption arc in this book and some hints on how his character arc is going to move forward from here. (From around 26:50 minutes time to 33:00 minutes)

Gabriela says that she doesn’t see Vlad as exactly ¨redemmed¨, which it is interesting because it can mean a lot of things on the direction his character can take. In the context she later adds that ¨characters involved would probably not forgive him¨, so i think this means that Vlad has a lot to make up for and he is only just starting to realize what he did wrong.

Another aspect that Gabriela talks about is that Vlad ¨created his own prison¨ in a way that ¨everyone now hates him¨ and that his life is in ¨complete shambles¨ and he has to start all over again. I wonder if this indicates that post AGIT he doesn’t longer have the same power and influence he had during the series and he is likely seen as someone who isn’t trustworthy in the eyes of the public. If that’s the case, i think it would be a good direction for his character to take, since he would still be facing certain consequences for his actions and it would make him less likely to fall back to his older bad habits.

One thing that is talked about in this segment is that Vlad could use this opportunity ¨to grow and learn… or get a lot worse¨ which it is intriguing on its own but it kinda makes sense given what we know about Vlad and how he deals with his own problems.

For starters, we know that Vlad has a lot of emotional baggage to deal with on his own. This is something that has been growing bigger and bigger over many years. All these issues aren’t just going to away because he has realized he was in the wrong: Now he has to deal with them and find a way to move from there. The problem is that this man in general has… really bad ways of coping with his own problems. He has a bad history of dealing with them, choosing the worst possible ways that end up hurting others and on his own self destruction.

And considering what i mentioned earlier about how he is ¨stuck¨ in a prison of his own making, he might have lost a lot of the power and influence he originally had… i think he is very likely to fall into other bad habits that don’t involve controlling people like he did in the past but they are still quite self destructive.

In his own extreme loneliness combined with his new sense of guilt (which it what drives his ghost purpose now) i think he is going to become very quickly ¨attached¨ to Dan in a way. He would try to have some form of connection with him by trying to giving him what he wants or find any way to make amends with him just to get some form of affection from Dan back. However, he would eventually realize that he can’t get what he wants from Dan back (or at least for the momento) and that would make him feel more depressed… or look for that affection in other places.

In the interview Gabriela says she has ¨very specific plans¨ for Vlad and Danielle’s relationship. Now that on itself could mean anything- still, following the rest of her wording, i believe this dynamic could involve Vlad desperately trying to get that form of affection he can’t get from Dan from Danielle. With this i mean that Vlad may try doing a similar thing he did with Dan: Trying to make Danielle happy or giving her whatever she wants. To find anyway he can to make it up to her.

Dani would likely take advantage of this first (being in part in her right to do so) but i think all these things that Vlad does would eventually lead to Danielle lashing out to him and telling him that she can’t bring herself to forgive him for what he did to her.

I don’t know where Vlad is would go from there. Nevertheless, if he is supposed going to have growth from all this- he is probably going to have to realize that he won’t be forgiven by certain people, and while he can try making amends, there are certain relationships he left so broken that it won’t be possible for him to ¨fix¨. This could be an interesting route for his character to take, involving him realizing better how badly her hurt certain people and that are some things that just too broken to change them.

….This is just one speculation of how his character could go though. I can also seeing having doubts over if all this redemption stuff is really worth it, maybe falling back in previous habits until he learns that he is going to have to work really hard to be better and repair all the damage he has done. Or maybe having a general crisis of what he is supposed to be and do post AGIT. It is still interesting to analyse and trying to guess based on new things revealed on this recent interview. I’m certainly intrigued to see what is going to happen to Vlad and how that is going to have an impact on his relationship with other characters.

[cecilysass]

Honest Man (1/3)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Chapter One

He almost never goes out to bars in Alexandria, and when he does, he’s typically in some kind of despairing mood. But Mulder isn’t despairing tonight. He’s hopeful.

It’s hope tempered with some reservation, of course. He’s not stupid—the other shoe can always drop—but there’s definitely a feeling that there could be less troubled paths ahead. If all goes well.

The pub is crowded, so he stands in the entrance scanning the room for her, feeling strangely awkward, like an adolescent boy. He jogged a little to get here at the time they arranged, and Mulder’s uncomfortably sweating now in his work clothes. He loosens his collar and tie.

She’s sitting with stately posture at a side booth, a menu propped in front of her. She spots him and raises a single hand.

He eagerly makes his way across the room, ducking in between the people making their way to get a drink at the bar, and slips into the seat across from her. “Hi,” he says. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I’m used to it, Fox,” she says, coolly amused. Diana slides him a menu. “It’s given me plenty of time to look over the culinary options here at the Honest Man Pub.” She draws out the name of the bar in an affected way, a little mockingly.

He smirks at her. “Come on. Who doesn’t like an Honest Man, Diana?”

“Who indeed.” She smiles tightly. “As it happens, I remember your taste in restaurants, so I’m not surprised.”

“Mozzarella sticks,” he says, pointing a finger at the menu enthusiastically. “You want to share some? I’m starving.”

“No thanks. I ordered a negroni.”

“Look,” Mulder gestures towards a woodcut illustration of Abraham Lincoln on the cover of the menu. “It’s Honest Abe, Diana. Trustworthy. You sure you don’t want a burger or something?”

“I’m really not hungry,” she says. But she, too, flips the menu over to look at it. She traces Lincoln’s face with her fingertip. “You think it’s supposed to be a reference to that story about chopping down the cherry tree?”

“That was George Washington.” Mulder sets the menu down and gives her a mildly admonishing look.

“What? I’m no historian,” she says dismissively. “And what politician has the luxury of honesty anyway?”

Diana’s not wearing her work clothes, he notices in surprise. Unless she wears a form-fitting black dress to work, and he doesn’t think she does. He chews his lip, wondering why she bothered to go home to change, especially because he’s pretty sure she lives in DC.

After the server passes by, and Mulder orders his beer and mozzarella sticks, he turns his attention back to her. “Well? What’s up?” He folds his hands on the table. “You made it sound like good news.”

Her cocktail is placed directly in front of her, and she murmurs a polite thanks to the server. “Potentially it is,” she says. “I need your help on a case, and I think if you do well, it could be … a step in the right direction.”

He tries to play it cool, even though this is exactly what he hoped. “My help? Did Kersh have a personality transplant or something?”

“This would be outside of official channels,” she explains. “At first, anyway.”

There are several cardboard coasters on the table with quotes printed on them in homey, old-fashioned typeface. The one nearest Mulder reads: “An honest man is always a child. - Socrates.” He pushes the coaster around the table with his fingertip, nodding slowly. “I’m listening.”

“There have been a series of credible sightings of unusual crafts flying low outside of Groom Lake,” she says in a low voice. She sips her drink, meeting his eyes. “I know you’ve probably been following it. Kersh doesn’t want Jeffrey and I to spend too much time there. But you could go.”

“Under what auspices?”

“It would have to be extracurricular.” She shrugs, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly. “You’ve done this sort of thing before, Fox.”

“Shiner Bock,” the server says cheerfully, setting a bottle down in front of Mulder. “Your mozzarella sticks should be out soon.”

“Thanks,” says Mulder. As the server darts off, he takes a slow sip, mulling over Diana’s words. “How would this be a step in the right direction?”

Diana leans towards him, her glass resting against her cheek. “Jeffrey and I have received some information about experimental craft at Groom Lake,” she says softly. “If we could put that together with your field work—and what you already have in the files—then we could have a report they’d have to take seriously.”

Mulder can’t help but feel excited, but he takes pains to mask it, chuckling cynically. “I’ve been down this road before, Diana.” He shrugs. “It never amounts to much. Plus, Kersh is already looking for any reason to chuck me out of the Bureau. This could easily be it.”

She reaches across the table and clasps his hand tight. “Not if I have your back.”

He frowns a little, confused by her meaning. She’s much more open to this than he expected. Still, his whole soul cries out to get back to working on the X-files. It’s almost all he thinks about these days. If there is a way forward here, he needs to hear all of it.

“We’ve always made a good team,” Diana points out. “We could be again. And this is your life’s work. You’re wasted in the bullpen.”

“Yeah,” Mulder says uneasily, “but what would—”

“I knew it.” interrupts a booming voice startlingly close to their table.

Mulder looks up blankly, and it takes him a half second to place the tall, pink-faced man towering angrily over them.

He knows Bill Scully’s face very well—associates it with some of his most emotionally vulnerable moments, in fact—but seeing it here in this Virginia bar, out of context, gives him a moment’s pause.

“I just knew it,” repeats Bill, his eyes narrowing. He squints down at Mulder murderously. “You’re not even worth … one of her goddamn pinky toes, you no good son of a bitch.”

“Bill,” Mulder murmurs, staring back. The man seems to be swaying slightly from side to side as he spits words out, as though he’s insulting Mulder on rough seas. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

Bill leans over, placing a palm flat on the table, and Mulder can distinctly smell whiskey on his breath.

“You have some nerve,” Bill hisses. “This is how you treat her? After everything you’ve done? Now you’re just out … on some date?”

Diana gives him a significant, questioning look, and Mulder straightens in his seat, his eyes scanning behind Bill’s back for a sign of who might be accompanying him. “I think you‘ve had a few too many tonight,” Mulder attempts genially. “You’re not making much sense. Why don’t I—”

“Why don’t you shut your damn mouth for once in your life?” Bill bellows. The group of young people at the next table looks over, watching them now, their expressions half interested and half alarmed.

Bill turns his attention to Diana, pointing one of his large fingers at her like a scolding father, even though Mulder is pretty sure Diana is at least Bill’s age, if not older. “What do you know about this guy, miss?” His words are definitely slurring. “How much did he tell you? Did you know he’s a dangerous sonofabitch?”

Diana smiles stiffly. “I’m safe, thank you.”

“Well, when he asked you out,” Bill says to her, gesturing sloppily, “did he mention he’s been fucking my sister for years? Destroying her life? Breaking her heart?”

He knows Bill’s drunk, and he knows Bill doesn’t have his facts right, but Mulder can’t help feeling the sting of shame over what he’s being accused of. Part of it, anyway. He hears himself inhale sharply by reflex.

Diana’s eyebrows have arched in surprise. She looks pointedly at Mulder. “Oh? Is that right? Who’s your sister?”

“My sister Dana,” Bill spits out, slamming his hand on the table for emphasis. “My baby sister.”

“Ah,” Diana responds conversationally. “You’re Agent Scully’s brother.” She seems unfazed by this information. “We both work with her, actually. Why don’t you join us for a moment?”

She scoots over in her seat, gesturing calmly to the spot next to her. Mulder doesn’t move, paralyzed with horror at the way this is unfolding.

Bill looks at Diana a moment, his jaw clenched, and then, to Mulder’s shock, slides in next to her in the booth, turning to direct his glare at Mulder.

For a moment Mulder just stares, slack-jawed, back into the man’s furious face. Bill seems to be waiting for something—for Mulder to explain himself, probably.

“This … isn’t a date,” Mulder begins, pointing between Diana and himself. “It’s work. And you need to understand that your sister and I aren’t in a romantic relationship either. Or a, uh, sexual relationship.”

Bill chuckles, shaking his head slowly, then abruptly changes mood, pounding his fist loudly and suddenly on the table and causing both Diana and Mulder to startle.

“Then why?” he demands, meeting Mulder’s eyes intensely in a way that reminds him, unsettlingly, of Scully. “Why does she do it? Why does she put up with you?”

“I … really don’t know,” Mulder admits miserably. “You’d have to ask her.”

“I know my sister,” Bill says, his features softening a little. “There are only … a few reasons why she would do it.” His tone goes cold. “Does she know you’re on a date?”

“No,” Mulder answers quickly, “but it’s not a—”

“I hate you,” Bill leans forward to whisper to him. “I hate you for what you’ve put her through. Now you’re cheating. On a fucking date. Jesus.”

“Yo, Scully,” comes a masculine voice from the bar. “Where’d you go?” Mulder looks around nervously, half expecting to see his partner, but of course the voice is calling for Bill. A group of men in their 30s and 40s, all with square shoulders and military haircuts, seem to be looking in this direction. Bill doesn’t even look back at them.

“You don’t understand,” Mulder says. He feels panicky and anxious. “It’s not a date. And Scully’s my partner, not my—”

“Jesus, shut the fuck up,” Bill groans. He slides out of the booth. “Don’t you ever get tired of your annoying-ass voice?”

He does, actually, more often than one might think.

“Bill, wait, are you—” Mulder stops suddenly.

He realizes what he was about to ask—are you going to tell Scully that you saw us here?—sounds completely at odds with what he has been telling Bill, what he has been telling himself. That question doesn’t make him sound like a partner out talking about work with a colleague.

It makes him sound like he thinks he’s doing something wrong, something he needs to hide.

The truth is that he does think Scully would be angry to know he’d met Diana here. She would be angry for a whole snarl of tangled reasons—and yeah, hurt, like Bill says. He doesn’t especially want her to know.

“Am I what?” Bill sneers, turning back around jerkily.

“Are you … okay to get home?” Mulder mumbles. “You have a ride?”

Bill gives him a look of withering contempt. “That’s none of your fucking business.” He turns and staggers back towards the bar.

Mulder watches him go, trying to swallow back his self-loathing. He realizes after a second that his fists are clenched.

“Fox,” Diana says in concern. “Are you all right?”

He says nothing for a beat, making a game attempt to pull himself back together.

“Yeah,” he says to Diana. He takes a fast swig of beer. “That guy—he, uh, just really hates me.”

“I gathered,” Diana says. She looks at Mulder appraisingly. “You seem to be taking what he says awfully seriously.”

“Well,” Mulder says grimly into his beer, “it’s just he’s not entirely wrong.”

Diana leans back in the booth, lifts her glass to her beautiful lips, and takes a careful sip. “No,” she says coolly, “he’s not.”

Mulder exhales raggedly. “Gee, Diana,” he says, “don’t hold back how you feel on my account.”

“He’s wrong about plenty,” she breathes. “He underestimates you, like most people do. But he’s not wrong that your work has hurt Agent Scully.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he snaps at her. He pauses to compose himself. “I don’t want Scully to be hurt,” he says in a more controlled voice. “I never have. Her choices are her own.”

“And your choices are your own,” Diana says. Her eyes are dark and shining. “You know, Fox, I hope that if all goes well with this initial foray at Groom Lake, we might all be a little more ambitious in our choices.”

Mulder shakes his head rapidly, still rattled by the encounter with Bill. “Ambitious in our choices how?”

“Well,” she says. “Thinking longer term, I don’t know if Jeffrey is working out on the X-files. I think he might prefer to be elsewhere at the Bureau. And if he does… then I’d be asked for my preference in a partner.”

Mulder looks up quickly. “And you’d … want to work with me?”

“Of course,” she says, giving him an inviting look. “Who else would I want?”

There’s an uncomfortable pause. Mulder toys with a coaster on the table idly.

“Do you think they’d even listen to you?” he wonders. “They’re really not my biggest fans right now. Kersh in particular.”

She fishes an ice cube out of her drink, sucks on it a little. Then she meets his eyes, and there is a dangerous spark. “I can be very persuasive, Fox.”

Mulder’s fingertip worries the corner of the cardboard coaster back and forth, back and forth. He hasn’t asked the biggest question. “And what about Scully?”

“What about her?”

“I couldn’t … leave Scully behind in the bullpen.”

“Without you,” Diana says, sipping her drink, “she wouldn’t be in the bullpen for very long. They would give her a better placement in no time. She’s only stuck there because of you.”

Mulder’s eyes remain on the scuffed tabletop as he considers the truth of this statement. Scully certainly is only being punished because of her links to the X-files. Were she cut free from him, she probably would be given a fresh start.

“I don’t know,” he says bleakly. “I don’t know if I could even do it without her.”

Diana makes an exasperated hiss. “Fox,” she says. “Of course you could. What is this codependency you’ve developed? You weren’t like this before.”

Mulder rubs the bridge of his nose. “Diana, I–”

“Mozzarella sticks,” announces their server, his voice surreally peppy as he places the basket on the table. Mulder nods and smiles miserably, his eyes down on the fried cheese.

As the server walks away, Diana reaches over and places her hand over his. It’s light and soft as silk. “I could be the partner you need, Fox,” she says softly. “If you give me a chance.”

Her fingers now are caressing his hand lightly. Mulder’s taken aback. “I remember … how to calm you down,” she adds, almost a whisper. “How to reduce your stress.” She runs her fingertip down the back of his hand, a subtle but effective gesture. “And I’m not someone who is easily hurt.”

As opposed to Scully? he wonders. Is that what Scully is? Easily hurt? Is that why I’ve hurt her so much?

Somewhere to Mulder’s left there is a loud discussion at the bar. Despite Diana’s surprising advances, Mulder finds his attention drifting over there. He recognizes Bill’s voice, speaking loudly to the bartender, and looks for him in the crowd.

“I’ll tell you what,” Diana adds, reaching out with her finger to gently direct his chin back towards her. “Come over tonight.” Under the table he feels her foot brush against his calf, ostensibly accidentally, and she’s successfully got his full attention back. “We can discuss your Groom Lake fieldwork more privately. I can … convince you of everything else.”

Mulder closely watches her face, every nuance of her expression. “Oh yeah?” he says guardedly.

“Hey folks, you doing all right here? Need ketchup or anything?” The energetic server is suddenly smiling broadly next to the table, hands on his hips, and Mulder can sense Diana’s annoyance from across the table.

“We’re fine,” Mulder says, still staring at Diana, “but I’m going to need to get these mozzarella sticks to go. And our checks, please.”

“Coming right up.” The server obligingly darts away.

Diana’s foot brushes up his calf again, this time with less pretense of accident. “Is that a yes, then?” she says, the barest hint of a smile.

In the background, Mulder is aware of a flurry of activity at the bar—the bartender’s voice firmly declaring something about someone not being served any more.

He looks back at Diana, who looks very beautiful, curvy and enticing in the dress he now realizes was strategically chosen to showcase her body for him.

Then his eyes fall down to one of the coasters on the table. He reads it, then reaches down and picks it up impulsively, sliding it in his pocket.

“Diana,” he says, suddenly sounding more certain than he expects, “I’m going to have to get back to you.”

***

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

*trying to understand WHY i feel like Vaggie would love having Susan around despite ppl hating her*

no see it's like this- there's a DIFFERENCE between someone like Susan and someone like Adam!!!

Susan, she's grumpy, stubborn, rude, insulting, BUT!!! If you give her a reason to think her criticisms weren't accurate or convince her she didn't have the full picture while making them, then she WILL change her mind!

She goes from booing Charlie's stammering speech to the Cannibals (and being all fuck you blue blood eat the rich which XD love it) pointing out how Charlie is NOT making anyone feel confident in her... but then once Charlie comes back with a rousing song, Susan listens. She chimes in just to clarify some things (if she fights for the hotel will she get to EAT PEOPLE) and once Charlie really gets into the whole fuck heaven it's time to fight back (lining up with Susan's eat the rich frame of mind) Susan switches around and NODS along with it! She changes her mind about Charlie! She follows Charlie back to the hotel and into war!

This old lady might be a piece of work but she's not an arrogant self-entitled one who won't give people a chance. She will let people try to convince her. She'll hear them out. She does change course once she feels she was wrong.

Compare THAT to an angel like Adam, who only listens so he can interrupt and laugh at Charlie. He's so convinced he CAN'T be wrong he'll scribble divine rules of getting into heaven on a sheet of paper on the fly and then act like they really ARE rules even though he clearly made them up on the spot- he submits them to court as EVIDENCE while IGNORING every other piece of contradicting evidence shown to him!

Adam isn't an asshole bc he's rude or mean, he's an ass bc he never thinks he might be wrong or should maybe change what he thinks or does. If it doesn't build him up then he won't listen to it. Arguing with him was useless- he wasn't ready to be convinced of anything he didn't already believe in.

So when Vaggie cheers for HIM dying, I think of Susan and how- to Vaggie- this old snarling cannibal lady would be like, the anti-Adam.

And the anti-Alastor too bc Susan glares and rudely lays out the truth as she knows it damn the consequences, instead of smiling while slipping lies by omission to ppl to get what she wants from them.

(a la Alastor in ep one trying turn helping out with the hotel advertisement into a favor, first by making a shitty one and then pressing Vaggie about not having anything better, until Vaggie points out that she KNOWs he'll get nothing out of the hotel if it fails anyway, meaning him helping it isn't some big gesture of trustworthiness it's literally just Alastor helping himself, dressed up to make Charlie and Vaggie feel grateful and indebted to him, which Vaggie at least has no patience for)

(add him not mentioning the dead angel thing until after he's gotten a deal with Charlie out of it, and of course miss hates-herself-Vaggie, who held back on her angel past for years to protect herself from more trauma would see too many similarities there)

(even tho one case was- as far as Vaggie can tell- a shameless power grab from Alastor taking advantage of Charlie being at her lowest, and the other was Vaggie being so ashamed of her past she couldn't stomach admitting to it)

Susan is NOT like that.

Sharp teeth is where her similarities with someone like Alastor ends. Surface level bluntness is also where her similarity with Vaggie might end too, for now

I look at Susan and see someone I think Vaggie wishes she could be.

Susan is someone who is honest. Someone who gives no fucks and isn't scared of being tossed aside (again) or being powerless

(like Vaggie and Alastor are scared)

Everyone in Cannibal town CRINGES when Susan shows up, no one looks or sounds HAPPY to see her or hear her speak up and does she seem to care? No. Do they all seem to also respect her and what she says...?

Yeah. They do. Susan is not talking out of her ass or being an ass. She's just sounding like one.

Vaggie miss "cut the crap" and "formerly an exorcist until she saw signs of how that might be wrong actually" would like having someone like that around, I think

(especially if it pissed off Alastor)

(Carmilla, who only keeps secrets to protect her family and seems to listen to advice even when she doesn't take it, would probably NOT like being challenged by a rude Susan either.... but Susan mainly just didn't want to blindly follow someone she didn't have confidence in, or fight without seeing what the reward for the risk would be. Carmilla would respect that, I think. Carmilla doesn't have time for bullshit either and also likes to cut right to the facts of a thing, as seen in her and Vaggie's meet up, so a Susan would be.... tolerable... in small doses. And worth having around. Occasionally)

(but only OCCASIONALLY, vaggie)

(charlie would probably also have to draw the line on ONLY inviting Susan over once a week or month or bi annually or so)

(it's a mental health issue and and a safety issue of Charlie not strangling Susan with her own dead fox boa when she gives an honest bad opinion of Vaggie's new wings or something)

(vaggie thinks it's hilarious)

(then again vaggie hates herself soooooo)

I headcanon Vaggie would love a Susan in her life but would need a Charlie around to balance it out~

GRANNY SUSAN! GRANNY SUSAN!!!!

[transmascaraa]

Heyyy, Nyx! Can I request HCs for a sick!reader? I am currently suffering with a cold and would love some comfort stuff.

Characters: (Genshin) Lyney, Gorou, (Danganronpa) Makoto, Shuichi, and Rantaro

Thank you so much, and have a great rest of your day!! Mwah! 💖/p

multiple characters headcannons!

a cold.

characters: gi · lyney, gorou — dgr · makoto, shuichi, rantaro

author's note: your cold is probably gone by this time and all😭 so sorry for the lack of posts i literally have no motivation for some reason💀 but anyways i hope you enjoy this either way^^

♡ Lyney

-will do EVERYTHING to help you.

-tea is a MUST.

-breakfast in bed is also something he told himself he HAS to do.

-in case of magic shows or missions from 'Father' while you're sick, he'll cancel them.

-you're his top 1 priority along with his siblings and he wants to show you how much you mean to him.

-migt act totally fine outside but his brain is a mess cuz of how worried he is for your health.

-he'll cure you from your sickness 100% so you can trust him(but reassure him not to worry too much)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Gorou

-also gonna care for you like CRAZY

-"No working while they're sick." he told himself repeatedly.

-tea, of course.

-he'll bring the tea to your bed if it makes you feel better.

-same thing with breakfast. he wants you to feel better.

-not gonna let you leave your bed and doesn't give a fuck if you complain with 'puppy dog eyes' cuz he's just gonna leave the room

-will measure your temperature every day.

-he just wants it to pass asap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Makoto

-very similar to gorou, in fact.

-breakfast in bed with tea.

-cleaning everything for you.

-making you rest in bed until you're 100% as good as new.

-there's always tea. you've drank your morning tea and can't drink any more?

-don't worry, he's gonna always have hot water waiting in case you tell him you're thirsty

-no going out and if you want fresh air he'll have to be with you outside. FOR A SHORT TIME ONLY.

-otherwise he'll just open a window for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Shuichi

-he'd be so worried but like won't show it AT ALL.

-NOT ONLY breakfast in bed, but also dinner and lunch.

-you ran out of candy/snacks? he's gonna go out and buy some of your favorites.

-everything you eat is with tea. whichever tea you like, he'll make it for you.

-no going out just to not make anybody else sick.

-you swear you've never known you had THAT MUCH tissue boxes in your house. but alright

-windows are almost always open for fresh air unless you feel cold.

-tucking you in AFTER you fall asleep because that's him for some reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Rantaro

-a gentleman at heart.

-he's gonna drink tea WITH YOU in bed.

-he's gonna sit next to you while you eat breakfast(either in bed or not).

-will bring you whatever you need, like food, tea, blankets, pillows, etc.

-probably will spend your sick days with you in bed mostly.

-measuring your temperature whenever you look a bit tired, and kisses your cheek if you don't(if you do, he kisses your forehead)

-very trustworthy for stuff like this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's kinda good??

idk lmao

i hope you like it^^

| @run-dennys-is-on-fire | @mariaace <3 |

[ghost-bxrd]

how would the coa react to jason?

I suspect you mean the Court of Owls for the Court Family AU? 👀

In that case, as vaguely referenced before, they wouldn’t take kindly to a “street rat” being adopted by their highest ranking member at first. The Court of Owls is comprised of old Gotham blood and money, neither of which Jason belongs to.

They’d tolerate him, sure. (They’d be fools not to with the Voice’s hard stare, and the Talon’s looming presence perpetually hanging over them all like a guillotine. ) But they sure as hell would let Jason feel that he’s not welcome amongst them.

At first.

Because between his adoptive father, a protective older brother, and… well, Jason hasn’t quite figured out exactly what Cobb is, but he’s preeetty sure him and Bruce got something going on. Anyway, Cobb’s got his back. Kind of. And sure he can’t exactly stop the Court members from being passive aggressive with him, but BOY does Jason give as good as he gets.

Subtle remarks about his “ragged” appearance are immediately met with a flat out “takes one to know one, sir”. And a “concerned” little “you shouldnt eat so quickly, you’ll get sick!” are met with a pleasant “sure, and you should skip the laxatives once a while, lady”.

Jason ain’t taking shit from anybody (Cobb considers asking Bruce to do a paternity test with the boy because—- Pot, kettle) and Bruce is getting gray hairs flitting about and soothing ruffled feathers.

But before long the Court members learn to appreciate Jason’s deadpan demeanor.

He’s rude and downright scandalous in contrast to their delicate sensibilities and upbringing, but he’s loyal to a fault and doesn’t lie. While it’s something the less trustworthy Court members will try to exploit (“Please,” Will purrs, inspecting the claws of his suit one by one, and Dick gets the distinct feeling of being locked onto by the gaze of a predator, “Let them try”) the others quickly come to appreciate his honesty and openness. It’s a downright novel thing for them.

So anyway, Jason becomes something like the “Heart” of the Court. If he’s happy, chances are good the Voice, Talon, and Gray Son are also in a good mood. If he’s not… well. Let’s just say they’re all invested in keeping Jason happy.

(Within a couple months Jason manages to get the Court to finance several jobs with annual leave and health insurance reserved for inhabitants of Crime Alley, along with affordable housing and no-cost rehabilitation centers for drug addiction.

Bruce is very proud of this achievement.

Cobb is reluctantly impressed.

Dick is cackling uncontrollably.

For someone who steadfastly refuses to use manipulation tactics the kid really knows how to be a pain in the ass and bother everyone long enough until they cave.)

[mothmothm0th]

on forming a basic understanding of the moth

cw: parasitism

As a moth, the second most common refrain I hear is "I don't know what you are" in a myriad of different phrases. This is understandable and even preferable to the topmost common refrain. However, this confusion is not because us moths are strange or unusual on some deep, existential level. And indeed, it is a mistake to assume that because one is not strange or unusual, one cannot be a moth. Many of us present as perfectly ordinary, even to ourselves.

Of course, the typical moth will be glad to know that you find it confusing. Even I, as I write my little essay, am torn between being a good communicator and helpful teacher and throwing you off a cliff into a cloud of soporifics and dream-stuff. Thus, assuming an adverserial, distrustful stance to whatever I say is probably a reasonable thing to do. I could be lying out of my abdomen. Or possibly my thorax. Even if I was, I would still be attempting to present my case in such a manner that I would appear trustworthy and thuswise lure you into a false sense of confidence. I wouldn't do that to you though. We're friends, right? We're buddies!

Anyway, at the heart of the moth is a simple syllogism. If the term is unfamiliar to you, you will likely have encountered many examples of them in your life, such as Aristotles famous formulation, originally found in his foundational work en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syllogism (350 BC). His syllogism states as such: "All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore, Socrates is mortal." I could explain syllogisms more thoroughly but I've already provided you with a source to learn for yourself. I'm a moth, not a science teacher. Instead, let's look at the syllogism of the moth. Consider this:

"All moths yearn. The author of this text is a moth. Therefore, the author yearns."

Simple, no? Now, put your thinking cap on and consider this one for size.

"All moths yearn. The author of this text yearns. Therefore, the author is a moth."

Now, I want you to ask yourself whether the statement given is true. And please do it before semantic satiation claims us all. I'll just give you some time to think really hard and I'll be doing that by way of writing nonsense to pad out the length of this paragraph because I need to make it look longer to satisfy the part of my brain that makes writing such a hassle sometimes but please don't be alarmed as purple scissors will not harm you underneath the tulip skies so long as you think really carefully and draw your conclusions with precision.

Did you think about it? Did anything seem amiss? That's right, there wasn't! The second syllogism is perfectly sound and valid beyond a reasonable doubt. All moths yearn, and all that yearns is moth. Good on you for not falling for that trap. You're so smart, and <first draft note!! insert applicable compliment here: beautiful | handsome | Still. don't forget to edit this later!!> too!

Of course, you might be thinking something along the lines of "well, I feel a deep sense of need for something too but that doesn't make me a moth." In reality, you are... possibly maybe correct in some sense of the word. However, what you experience as an emotion is actually a moth's egg, laid in the sweet tasty fabrics of your heart. If this makes you think "woah, so moth-eggs are everywhere, then", you would be quite right! While modern life has taken away the stars by which we navigate the night, those same conditions paradoxically help in the spontaneous generation of our eggs. Don't take this as me saying modern life bad. Pointing out how modern life is bad and bad for you is somewhat passé and indeed, we moths have existed since day one. In fact, to assume that I am saying that modern life bad assumes that I think mothiness is a bad thing. And I'm not saying that, stop saying I'm saying that.

Anyway, let's move out of the realm of baseless accusations about what I believe in and talk about the lifecycle of a moth a tad more. As described, a moth begins life as an egg, just like all other girls. And as discussed, a moth-egg is experienced by the fabric that lays it as yearning. Academic sources and my diurnal dreams differ on whether the yearning or the egg comes first. You may have heard this dilemna by its authorised discursive phrase, "chicken and the egg". A nice lil peek behind the Veil for you there. Don't worry about it.

As the moth-egg hatches, the moth/yearning enters its larval stage. The larva/yearning will begin to consume its fabric/host-mind. While this may sound scary, I invite you to consider how you are already being consumed by many things all the time, metaphorically. Capitalism consumes your labour, love consumes your reason, a third thing consumes another abstract concept, and so on and so on. Thus, while the process of mothly consumption gradually gnaws through the liminality between metaphor and literal, mind and soul, soul and body, it is still no more destructive than the aforementioned. You will not survive life unchanged. Give it up. Embrace metamorphosis. That's my advice to the moth-eaten fabrics in the audience anyway. But you're not moth-eaten. You're <ok seriously though what's a good gender, species, construct, and modality neutral word of praise?> so you don't have to worry about me trying to hasten anything. The eggs in your mind have not hatched. They will not hatch. Don't worry about it.

When the larva/yearning has thoroughly consumed its banquet/host, it weaves itself a cocoon/anticipation within the nice space left within the host's closet/skull. Some naughty witches have devised means of harvesting silk/desire from this cocoon/anticipation and the smart ones even wait until the imago/apotheosis has emerged before committing to the harvest. I wouldn't do either though, so don't worry. But we're getting off-track here. During this gestation period, the moth-to-be experiences a gradual shift in cognition. While most sources typically describe this shift in cognitive possibility space as "major depressive disorder" or "bipolar disorder" or "dissociative disorder" or even "other specified dissociative disorder", these label only apply to the more mundane, less exciting forms of having one's mind consumed. If you're a fully grown imago, you should sue!! In fact, please send me an ask with your frequency, flavour, and cardinality and I'll send you an oneiro-mail with instructions on the proper legal curses to apply.

Ah, distracted distracted. Mustn't let one get too distracted. You are not an imago. At least if you're the audience/sucker I'm writing this essay/trap for. No, no, no. You're here to learn what the lifecycle of a moth/yearning is! So let's talk about the moment a moth/yearning hatches/transcends. While the shift from larva to pupa is gradual enough that one might not even realise it is happening, the moment of transcendence is not. The final step of any metamorphosis is the most traumatic. It is a moment of great pain and of great bliss. John of the Cross/some nerd described it as "the dark night of the soul", which is a fitting description considering, yknow, nights. Moths. You get me. But that nerd was subscribed to some fake news youtuber and misattributed the whole thing to some old geezer who died a whole lotta time ago. Foolish. Foolish! No no no, the moment of hatching is something far greater, and something far more. To hatch is to see the light of Mansus with one's own eyes. To hatch is to become solid. To hatch is to transcend, to reach one's apotheosis of yearning. To become yearning itself. The false self is discarded, the true self is adorned. I see the shapes of things and I reach my hand out and the pain of change once again grips me and my heart sings and I become fluid again to become something anew for the me that is me is not the me that you see but the process is me and you are but a static object compared to me and I see the gods and the devils and they are static too and while my shape shall never be as luminescent I shall deconstruct their light and burn and burn and burn to be reborn and thus shall i die and never die and maybe i even get to drink the sweet sweet nectar of monster energy once again for i shall just be a little guy who is so terrible and nice and so i shall jump for the raw beef and fail the jump and burn in parkour prison until i change again for though i am not great or powerful you shall never diminish my joy and my love and my cycle of mistakes and fuck-ups will continue unto morrow and tomorrow and so it goes and so it goes and.

Oh, you're still here. Didn't notice you. I hope the lil writing exercise didn't bore you or anything. I think writing a bit of modernist pablum every now and then helps keep the mind unpretentious the rest of the time. Gotta keep that ol' noggin nice and crunchy. But in any case, I hope you've enjoyed this brief look into how to write a good essay or whatever the ohio this piece was about. If you're still suffering from symptoms of wanting-to-write-good-but-you-don't-know-how, please send an ask with your true name and object of yearning. I will get in contact with oneiro-mail as soon as I can.

[kamidukki]

[AKNK] Lucas and Hanamaru Conversation TL

This post contains (a little of) part 7 and part 8 of the event 'Butler's wine festival'.

Hanamaru: Phew… After having dinner, the Master returned to their room. Once I’ve finished with the bath, I guess I’ll get some rest tonight.

Still, to think that the inn has an open-air bath. The wine business is certainly a lucrative one.

Lucas: Fu fu… Excuse me for having one before you, Hanamaru-kun.

Hanamaru: Uh-oh, my bad. You’re here too, Lucas-sensei.

Enjoying a glass of wine while soaking in the bathtub… That’s pretty neat.

Lucas: Fufu. Would you like to join me, Hanamaru-kun?

Hanamaru: Yeah, I’ll gladly accept that offer.

Just give me a minute. I’ll wash up and clean my body first.

-A little while later-

Hanamaru: Phew… What a bliss. It feels nice to drink while being soaked. The inside of my body warms up too.

Lucas: It is. We must be careful to not overdrink, though.

Drinking alcohol while having our body soaked in the bath increases the risk of dehydration or anaemia after all.

Hanamaru: Hehe, if that happens, I’ll just have a doctor look after me.

But, getting drunk in the bath and being taken care of while naked… any good adult would want to avoid that.

Lucas: That’s right ♪

Since we’re both good adults, let’s do be careful.

Hanamaru: Hm? By the way, Lucas-sensei… You’ve got a tattoo on your flank. When did you get it?

Lucas: This? Who knows, I wonder now… It was a long time ago, so I’ve forgotten ♪

Hanamaru: I see… So, it was a pretty distant past.

If that’s the case… I guess my tattoo won’t fade by itself too.

Lucas: Hm? Do you wish for the tattoo on your back to fade, Hanamaru-kun?

It’s such a magnificent dragon tattoo though…

Hanamaru: Sure it looks awesome, but it will only scare some people.

Lucas: I see… Well, that may be true. Like, to a little child or a lady, or maybe… some people with a bounty on their head?

Hanamaru: …

Hee~ as expected of Lucas-sensei. You already know the significance of this tattoo.

Lucas: Well, that’s the wisdom of age for you.

As a negotiator of the mansion, I get to hear rumours of other lands pretty often too.

In the back regions of the Eastern Land, there exists a village called ‘Ise’. All the residents of this village make their living as ‘bounty hunters’. Those people all have dragons tattooed on their backs.

No matter how high profile a bounty head is, once targeted by an Ise inhabitant, their life is as good as dead.

The mere sight of that dragon tattoo is enough to make anyone tremble in fear, I suppose.

Hanamaru: Hee~ so it has turned into such rumour.

To think that the name of a remote countryside village reached all the way to the Central Land… I feel both proud and ashamed.

Anyway, there is not a single trace of that place left to see now.

They raked in too much money, thus earned the resentment of the bounty heads all over… In the end, everything was burned down in revenge.

Well, that might have been a fitting end for a village whose livelihood came from the blood of others.

Lucas: Hanamaru-kun…

-Chapter 8: The Accumulation of Time-

Hanamaru: Still… You knew of my past, then, Lucas-sensei.

To think that someone with my background was welcomed into the midst of yours... The Devil Butlers are truly generous, no?

Lucas: Ah, about that…

As a matter of fact, five years ago, when I healed you after you were wounded fighting the angels, I saw the tattoo on your back... and I was against the idea of inviting you to join us.

Hanamaru: Hee…? Is that so.

Was it because you were worried about bringing in a murderer after all?

Lucas: No. The Devil Butlers, myself included, all have their own pasts.

As long as I find someone trustworthy, I don't call their past into question.

Hanamaru: So… I guess it means I wasn’t trustworthy back then.

Lucas: ….

That’s…

Hanamaru: No need to look so worried, Lucas-sensei.

Since this is a great opportunity, let's just talk openly.

Lucas: …You’re right. Well then, I’ll take you up on that.

As you said, I had no idea what kind of person you were at first. All I knew was that you had the power to fight an angel with your bare hands, and that you have a dragon tattoo on the back.

I had no definitive proof of your past, but... if you turned out to be who I thought you were... then why would a survivor from a destroyed village in the Eastern Land raise children in a church?

There were so many things that were beyond my comprehension. I thought I should put the invitation on hold.

No matter how powerful someone is, if we let in someone we don't know well enough, we're only putting ourselves at risk.

Hanamaru: You said it.

At any rate, even I find it strange. A good-for-nothing like me was, for whatever reason, taking care of the children.

Lucas: Well... later on, when I saw how the children were doing, I started to reconsider.

Both you and the children cared for each other as if you were real family members. If you can form such a strong bond with children who are not your blood relatives... then I’m sure we’ll get along well... I thought.

Hanamaru: I see… Looks like I owed those kids yet another debt I wasn’t aware of.

Really, those guys keep saving me. It's thanks to them that I didn't lose hope in life.

Lucas: …I’m sorry. Have I reopened an old wound?

Hanamaru: No worries, I told you. The thought is on my mind constantly anyway, so I’m used to it.

Or rather… If you knew about my past, you should have told me sooner. Desperately trying to hide a secret that has been out in the open for a long time makes me look a bit lame, don't you think?

Lucas: Not really. I'm probably the only one who knows what your dragon tattoo means.

Hanamaru: Hm? For real?

Lucas: Yes. Besides, since I don't have any solid evidence, there's no way I can tell anyone.

Or maybe, like me, there are someone who is aware but chooses to keep quiet. Everyone knows enough about your personality. Even if they did know, nobody would care now ♪

Hanamaru: Good grief. I don't think it's the kind of light-hearted past that can be brushed off with such a broad smile though.

It seems that the Devil Butlers are generous people after all.

That said, the rest of the world won’t be as accepting. This tattoo might reveal who I really am... and thus cause trouble for the Master, everyone in the manor... and the kids.

When I think about it, this tattoo... I'd like to get rid of it if I could.

What do you think, Lucas-sensei? Can it be treated by surgery?

Lucas: Hmm~ to be honest, I wouldn't recommend it. The surface area is too large, not to mention the post-operative scar.

Rather than resorting to surgery, it would be better to wait for it to fade away over time.

Hanamaru: Waiting for it to fade, huh... But Lucas-sensei, your tattoo hasn't faded after all this time, has it?

Lucas: Yes. That’s why what you should expect to fade is people’s memories.

In another hundred years, no one will be aware of your past ♪

Hanamaru: A hundred years, huh… What a very devil butler-like advice.

But well, I suppose you’re telling me to take it easy. Even if it looks a serious problem at present, it may become trivial matter in a hundred year.

Lucas: That’s right, that’s right ♪ Truly, a little, trivial matter.

Take this 100-year-old wine for an example. If I didn't tell you, you wouldn't really know the difference.

Hanamaru: Hee~ so this is a 100-year-old wine…

Wait, what!? Are you being serious, Lucas-sensei!?

Without knowing that, I gulped it down…

Lucas: Fu fu. Sorry, sorry ♪ I was just joking.

I lied about it being a hundred year old. If anything, its flavour will only deteriorate if you mature it that long.

Hanamaru: So it was a joke… Don’t scare me off like that.

But it’s indeed delicious and easy to drink. What kind of wine is it?

Lucas: It’s a 36-year-old from Tobilis.

Hanamaru: That’s as old as I am!

Should it really be drunk in light-hearted atmosphere!?

Lucas: No worries, no worries ♪

Something like 36 years will pass in the blink of an eye ♪

Hanamaru: How scary~

You’ve matured too much as person, Lucas-sensei.

Lucas: Fufu. I’m sure you too, are the type who mature as you get older.

Well then, let’s pay respect to the year you’ve accumulated so far, Hanamaru-kun. With this 36-year-old wine, shall we have another toast?

Hanamaru: Yeah. This time, I’ll be sure to savour it properly.

Since it's sad to see 36 years pass down your throat in an instant...

Lucas: Fufu… Well then, cheers ♪

[syre-stane16]

DO CRYO VISION HOLDERS DESERVE THEIR ELEMENT?

Sorry about how long this took, I told myself that I won't complete this series until I finish and publish another chapter of my fanfic. So I did. Then the exams :,-[

Ok, let's begin.

WHAT IS CRYO?

Cryo is associated with love in Genshin. I believe this comes from the 'the Snow Queen' by Hans Christian Anderson, where shards of a broken mirror corrupts the heart. So I can see an association there…

Ice is used as a preservative which is already perfect for Qiqi.

Ice is pretty, I can make a case for purity, clarity and Knowledge (because of the preservation aspect).

In terms of negative aspects: cold(world shattering idea over here), danger, isolation and slippery(trickster characters or smt)

let's begin.

KAEYA

Pretty boy already has the beauty aspect, however remember that there's more than meets the eye with this man. While I don't believe he's a completely bad person, I do think he could be a pretty dangerous character and so Varka was in the right keep him close.

Of course the slippery aspect works nicely with this man, I will make a case for isolation as well. Even if he does have people he cares about in Mondstadt, the dude that he should be closest to is Diluc, and well...

Also, Kaeya being aware of his role as a spy would further his feelings of isolation. The dude he trusted with that info blew up on him and the only other person we see him genuinely like is Klee.

Him being Kheanrian also allows him an association with the preservation aspect. He was told that his role would be vital for Kheanria.

Kaeya idolises family, he see's it as a very important part of a person's life. This results in one of the few concrete ideals this man exhibits. According to his informant Vile, he doesn't work with people who hurts other's families.

Abandoned by his biological dad [ I don't care if its for a good cause, its still abandonment,] he was adopted by Crepus, who died and had then falling out with his brother. I think we can safely state that he has familial issues.

Received the vision during THE altercation with Diluc. :/

DIONA

Diona's a bartender, and ice is an important part in cocktail mixing. She's open about her goals to dismantle the wine industry so we'll put her under clarity. She plays this cold, i-dont-care-about-you character, which is adorable when a child does it.

Her reasons for toppling down the wine industry is due to her father, the man is a drunk and though he doesn't become violent whilst under the influence, he still worries Diona with this addiction. Also, imagine the responsibilities that child would have. She has to take care of her father when he's in this state. We know she still loves her father though, so she has a complicated family situation.

She got her vision when she went out on a stormy night to find her father after he went missing while drunk.

She definitely loves her father, and her goals come from that love and desire to help him, even if it doesn't solve the root causes of alcoholism.

ROSARIA

Rosaria is cold and pretty isolated. She stays away from the activities of the sisters of Barbathos. She draws away from Mondstadt by being indifferent to the FUCKING ARCHON.

The people she tends to hang around with is Barbara [unwillingly], Kaeya [doesnt really trust him] and Venti[ It's Venti, the dude isn't trustworthy anyways]. Basically, her relationships in the tavern trio is, 'These two fucks are sus as hell so Imma monitor them.'

A brief explanation of her family situation. She was taken in and raised by a group of bandits. After betraying her gang, she had to kill her adoptive father. This is where she gets her vision.

She is taken in by Varka, after her 'family' was taken car of by the knights of favonius. She got the second chance since she was STILL A CHILD.

She stays and serves Mondstadt because she wants to repay the kindness she was shown.

MIKA

[Ok, so I did the research and notes like 2 months ago and I don't remember enough to elaborate on this part and I'm too lazy to go back to research so.... I'm just typing down the notes.]

Familial problems, knowledge, got the vision in a sticky situation, preservation [May come from the fact the my dude's a cartographer.]

EULA

Beautiful, dangerous, cold.

She is forced into isolation by her family and the people of Mondstadt due to her family history which is a fucking crappy thing to do. At least she has people on her side, so she's not completely alone.

I'll make a case of preservation, her family is an important part of Mondstadt's past, even if they were on the wrong side of history. bringing a major clan back this time in a positive light will preserve culture. Girl doesn't even deny her families past.

She got her vision during a low moment of her life, being cast out from Mondtsadt and her clan, unable to trade money for goods and services and left to fend for herself.

QIQI

Preservation because zombie. I guess she could be lonely, but she doesn't notice it that much. Adopted by baizhu. Whatever the FUCK I wrote here.

GANYU

As an adeptus, she has the role and duty of preserving Liyue. She was taken in by Cloud Retainer, and her story quest was her feeling lonely.

CHONGYUN

Reference to the chill you get when encountering spirits? Also his yang energy situation needs to be regulated via cold, so it could just be for mercy.

SHENHE

Obvious case for cold, isolation and danger. She was abandoned by her father and killed the monster she was sacrificed to. The adoptive daughter of Cloud Retainer. She is close with her new family.

AYAKA

Her clan are one of major players in the preservation of Inazuma. Due to her status, she feels isolated from the people she meets.

I'll make a case for Beauty and I've written down purity , which might come from the princess archetype she has going on? [ What was your logic me from two months ago? T-T]

The death of her parents had a toll on her brother, poor dude had to take over a FUCKING CLAN AND THE RESPONSIBILITIES AT THE AGE OF 16. I know Ayaka was also affected by their deaths as bad. And worst of all, one of her major emotional supports can't be close to her during such a hard time in her life.

I'm not saying she has any resentment to her brother or the people he serves, all im saying is that the Kamisato siblings were dealt a bad hand and I want people to appreciate them as much as I do.

I feel a strong case for love, especially towards her brother. Those two are pretty much all they have left.

LAYLA

All I have written down for her is knowledge. I'm gonna add preservation because her sleepy time conscience leaves a mark of her existence in the form of finished assignments.

It's weak, I know.

FREMINET

The knowledge aspect since he's fatus, Isolation [2 months younger me might have noted that due to his depression, hydrate yourselves btw.] I also wrote preservation down, if I wrote the essay down earlier I would've remembered the reason but I didn't and now I'll write more detailed notes, gods damned.

Love toward his siblings in the House of the Hearth, he also received his vision during a mission gone wrong that nearly killed him.

One of the children of the House of the Hearth.

CHARLOTTE

Knowledge, clarity, preservation [pictures], her camera is an act of love from her father.

WRIOTHSLEY

Chill guy. this dude LOVES, like have you played his story quest? have you seen his interactions? OH MY GODS.

Knowledge and Clarity may be a reference to the eyes and ears he has around the Fortress of Merropied.

He took measures to protect the people of Fontaine during the Flood, and he does protect the people of Merropied.

Orphan, taken in by a family, found out later that he was going to be sold, killed his 'parents', sentenced to prison, made new family. :)

CONCLUSION

This one was a lot of guessing and decoding on my end, which is completely on me, my notes should be better.

The broken family before finding a new one trend was interesting to me, it's not all characters but enough to get me wondering.

Is this what the Tsarista feels?

Think about it, maybe she loses her family during the archon war, or she feels disappointed in her first 'family' [ since I doubt a diety associated with love would be oogely-boogely about what the Heavenly Principals have done]. She finds a new family in the form of the harbingers, the leader being a Kheanrian.

Another thing I noticed is a lot of the vision stories I saw was like a helping hand to the users, like, it was granted to show them that there was someone on their side.

They were given a vision when they were the most isolated.

Which I think is sweet. It's loving. Warming my heart as I type this out. The Tsaritsa is going to be an interesting character. I know it.

[corellianhounds]

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Ugh okay yes I have like a bunch of these, but I did settle on one that I just don’t know when I’d be able to figure it out. There’s too much setup involved to make it what I want. The context is that it’s a Prospect/Mandalorian crossover, the events of Prospect happening differently where Damon lives, but Cee still ends up escaping with Ezra.

Damon hires Mando to find Cee and their harvest after she disappears with Ezra, and once Mando finally tracks them down he’s shocked to see someone with his face walking around in the open. The whole time the plot’s happening he’s suspicious and unnerved by this stranger sharing his voice and face, and though his research into the backlog of Guild cases doesn’t reveal any details of this guy’s origin or personal life, it does give him plenty of information regarding Ezra’s colorful criminal history

However, Damon’s history isn’t much better, and Mando suspects he’s just better at hiding some of the more unsavory things he’s done. He also finds that Cee, according to his research, has been logged as Damon’s harvesting partner for almost ten years despite the fact this girl is clearly only about fifteen years old, and the kind of harvesting Damon’s done in the outer reach is a two-man job; you can’t afford dead weight, even if it’s to keep your kid with you. Does Damon want his daughter back, or does he want his assistant back?

Mando’s having to deliberate over who between Damon and Ezra is a bigger threat to this girl’s safety. Did Cee really choose Ezra because she trusts him and Ezra is trustworthy, or because she's being forced to choose the lesser of two evils?

—

Mando kept his pistol on Damon, but then he unhooked his rifle from his back, cocked it one handed and aimed it at Ezra—

— Only for Cee to step in front of him.

There was a scuffle of protests— Ezra tried to wrest her behind him but she shoved him back. Mando primed the charge on the rifle and Ezra raised both arms, hissing at Cee— Damon made as if to move for the girl, Mando grunted and stepped closer to Damon. Damon halted his approach, and Ezra and Cee argued while Cee blocked Mando's aim.

"Don't," Cee growled. "We trusted you."

"Listen, kid," Mando said levelly. "I don't know which between the two of them is worse, and I don't like the idea of you having to choose the better of two bad options."

"He's— He didn't coerce me," Cee protested.

"Didn't he?" Damon snarled.

"Shut up." Mando continued to watch the girl. "I don't know that, Cee. And I don't know if you're only saying that because you feel like it’s the only way to get away from your father."

Damon seethed. Ezra's wide eyes were stricken, watching the Mandalorian as Cee's shoulders tensed further. Either he was as good of an actor as Mando thought, or he truly did care for the girl. If it weren't for Cee's stubbornness shoving him back, Mando might have believed he'd step in front of her.

"Cee, I'm telling you to make the decision you want and know that if the answer is neither, you can walk away and get on that freighter of your own accord and go wherever you want. There's a bag of credits on my belt. I have a vested interest in bringing both of them into the Guild, and I won't move until you're safe. I can stand here a long time."

The silence between them hung like a ship in stasis as Cee glared. There was only a moment when Cee's gaze flicked to Damon, some silent conversation happening between them, and then she hooked one hand into the shoulder belt of Ezra's flight suit, pulling him just to the side, still behind her. "He's coming with me.”

Damon swore in a litany of languages as Mando nodded. "Okay."

"And we're going with you."

Meta Ask Game

[zombiee-reviews]

Rogio character discussion / breakdown.

• The coward • The asshole • The useless

If you can’t tell, I’m having fun with these lmao.

WARNING! THIS DOC CONTAINS LOTS OF INFORMATION AND WALL TEXT BECAUSE ROGIO IS REALLY THAT SHITTY LMAO.

So after doing a discussion with Ranach, my next victim is going to be Rogio.

Rogio is rather an easy character to breakdown, considering his actions is a huge contradiction to what Kique has his personality set too in the wiki.

-

What I will be going over:

• What we know of Rogio’s early life

• Why I feel he is just a shit character

• His friends with benefi- I mean, relationship with Roamer.

• How he is a huge self insert of Kique

• His weird on and off trauma(s)

• His wiki personality is one thing, but the comic shows another.

( Topics are in no particular order, my brain likes to splatter information everywhere lmao. )

-

So first, I am going to start with what we know of Rogio’s early life. Unfortunately, Rogio doesn’t really talk much about his early life, before MT. What we are told is he was once in a tribe named Snowcap Tribe and they once lived on the Meteor Summit. Rogio also mentions how someone angered a spirit up there and the spirit completely wiped out everyone. Obviously, later in the comic, his brother Iberon survived and was the cause of the spirit destroying the Tribe, but Rogio does not know this.

It is interesting to me how none of these comic characters talk about their backstory, but in Rogio’s case, he only brings up bad things in his backstory so everyone feels bad for him.

Why does Rogio never talk about his brother? His family? His traumatic experiences? You would think we would have some moments of Rogio confiding in Roamer and talking over the events that happened. It would have been good leverage to use his night beast form as past traumas he hasn’t gotten over. Personally, I feel like Kique didn’t come up with Rogio having a sibling that is alive until he made Ranach visit SS. Because this validates Ranach yoinking everyone in SS, because Iberon reminds him so much of Rogio. Ranach even puts two and two together that this COULD be Rogio’s brother. But as readers, we never see a scene where Rogio EVER talks about his sibling(s), or his past. And quite frankly it bothers me? The characters just feel like robots with no backstory, morals, or humanity / humility. They are just puppets to whatever Kique feels like having them do - in MT’s case, puppets to Rogio.

-

Let’s be honest, Rogio is by far the worst character in Home. Kique likes to label this guy as one of his best characters and will literally protect / defend him at all costs. WHY? I don’t know, maybe it’s because Rogio is a literal carbon copy of Kique in the comic.

It becomes obvious that Rogio is a self insert of Kique when Roamer and Rogio return to MT, after leaving Midnightgarde.

Roamer has a falling out with Kargo and we are shown nosy - ass Rogio listening in. We are then shown that Rogio is battling his own demons and pretty much forcing Roamer to cater to him because he wants to return to MT with Roamer. Kind of funny how Roamer doesn’t ask Rogio why tf he was listening to a private conversation… But anyway.

Even though Roamer and Kargo literally just broke up, Rogio thinks it’s a great idea to back stab his long time friend Kargo and sleep with his ex. How trustworthy Rogio is. I mean hell, Rogio makes the first move on Roamer. And then in a co-dependent manner, Rogio is suddenly healed from his demons, after sleeping with Roamer that night. Even Roamers face shows this “Oh god, Kique is going to use me as NSFW content with this dweeb in the future.” Lmao.

Also Rogio says he didn’t join the Tribe by choice, but he could have left by choice. Rogio had the luxury of leaving the walls when he wanted too, he could have easily just took off one day. He wasn’t that trapped. -_-

One thing I find funny on Rogio returning to MT, was he KNEW there was a possibility that Ranach was still there. So obviously, Kargo was right when he told Roamer that he returned to MT to sleep with Ranach once again. Of course, this is quickly covered up. But it’s obvious to me that Rogio was willing to see Ranach once more and then later in the comic acted like seeing Ranach again would be the end of his world. THEN WHY DID YOU RETURN TO MT IDIOT??

If Ranach terrified / traumatized you SO MUCH, why would you return to MT knowing there was a chance he’d be there, or knowing there was a chance Ranach would return? Didn’t factor that one in, huh buddy?

After reading the documents Staz put out on how Kique was in their relationship, Rogio describes Kique to a damn T. It would also make sense why all the main characters oogle over him, or ask for his advice even tho it’s out of place. Rogio IS Kique.

I mean hell, I absolutely HATE that the MT females don’t gut Rogio for not doing squat for them while he was in MT. When Rogio does return to MT I hate when I see Inna say “We’re glad to have you back Rogio!” GIRL WHAT. This pile of dog crap didn’t bother to save anybody, he had a chance to rebel with Kargo the first time and didn’t do anything! He was too busy banging Ranach and trying to raise his own position in MT as a Baron WITH Ranach. Realistically, NOBODY should be happy to see him!

Oh and let’s not forget Ronja giving him special privileges to call her by her actual name. And then suddenly making him Baron of MT, even though he hasn’t proved his skills to her. Ronjas stupid as well for just giving that much responsibility / status to someone SHE BARELY KNOWS. But it’s ✨ ROGIO ✨

Then came the time when Rogio was completely useless to his rank as a Baron. He’d let everyone go do the work for him when it came time to rid of Ranach and Avanti. He always used the excuse of not wanting to see Ranach, because Ranach was his “abuser”. The goofy thing about this is, Rogio was completely accepting of seeing Ranach again when he was coming back from Midnightgarde.. Also, why would you return to the very place your abuser lives? Why did you come back to MT knowing Ranach would still be around? It’s all dumb writing to me. I understand why Roamer returned, but Rogio could have very easily went his own way and start his own life.

Then another contradiction that Rogio creates for himself, is when he is in the healer hut saying “If anyone had a problem with it, they would have voiced their concern at the meeting.” But when Vigr asks Rogio to use himself to lure Ranach into a trap, Rogio suddenly throws a fit like a child and suffers from a “PTSD” attack. Again, idk why you would want to torment yourself so badly and come back to a place where your abuser is still around. Don’t make sense to me!!

But because Rogio was absolutely useless in the fight against Avanti and decided to not be apart of it, MT lost two members! Fuss and Jonna! Bro, you’re a Baron, a second in command, you don’t get to just kick your feet up. If you felt you weren’t ready to be a Baron, then why the hell did you accept it anyway? You could have easily told Ronja NO, I don’t want to be a Baron, I can’t handle that much responsibility right now. But because Rogio wasn’t there and his help could have potentially saved Fuss and Jonna, we lose them.

I mean shit, Fuss had more of a reason to stay behind, for his daughter! But he went anyway. Then we have lame ass Rogio who doesn’t want to sEe HiS aBuSeR. Even tho he has an entire tribe to protect him from Ranach!

Then came the time when Ranach was attacking the wall with Avanti. I just LOVE that Ronja says “You are the second strongest to Kargo go protect the cave entrance!” Basically saying “Just go run away and be useless!” If Rogio is the second strongest, why is he off diddling in a cave while everyone else has to go face Oreo dog? Oh that’s right! Plot armor! And Kiques way of further dragging the story of Ranach not knowing Rogio is alive yet! And yet furthering my reasons of why Rogio is fucking useless at everything. I mean he needed help from a pup to “kill” Avanti.

Then of course, when Rogio plays this game of ignoring Roamer and goes with Ronja to Tinget. What an asshole. I mean look at the face he is giving Roamer before he leaves??? Not only this, but Ronja ain’t the smartest of the bunch, because anyone can see that her tribe member is not himself, but sure buddy! Show me the way with just us two alone to Tinget! I mean hell, the comic doesn’t really show a relationship / friendship with Ronja or Rogio. Ronja is forced to like Rogio and act like she knows anything about him from Kique, because he is with her family member, Roamer. I mean she can at least see that Rogio is being a bit of a dick to Roamer, but she somehow doesn’t stand up against Rogio and defend her family member. She’s definitely got that minding her own business down lol.

Going to fast forward to the time when Ronja and Rogio are seen after Tinget. They are camping and Rogio miraculously knows that Fjall is spooking at something else other than a night beast. Rogio completely goes feral on this strange dog spying on them. But what would make me uncomfortable in Ronjas position is she had to really put some force in her voice to get Rogio to stop threatening him. Giiirl, that would make me nervous, because you’re alone with ROGIO lmao.

Later, Rogio and Ronja return to MT and Rogio attempts to run off, but cowers out. Heh, wuss. I don’t understand why he didn’t just do it while she was asleep, but to wait last minute while you’re on the border of MT. It just makes it easier for everyone to follow your scent?? IDK.

Once Rogio is in the void with Kargo after fighting his night beast form, the whole scene that follows once they leave is total bullshit. The whole “A punch long overdue.” From Kargo is so wrong in so many ways, if anything, ROGIO deserves that punch from Kargo. Rogio has been nothing but a dickwad to everyone since day one, he damn near isn’t redeemable either. But Kique thinks because Rogio saves Kargo and kills his night beast, it clears anything Rogio has done in the past.

When Kargo says “I have brought so much pain into his life” I think Kique meant for Rogio to say that. I mean Rogio was the biggest asshole to Roamer?? Only thing Kargo has done was just get upset with him over Ferah, and leave him, other than that I haven’t really seen Kargo be a dick to Roamer like Rogio. I mean hell, at least Kargo COMMUNICATES, even if it is when he gets angry.

And what follows after is just sad. I hate how out of character Kique writes Kargo just to benefit Rogio. But I am happy to see the lions wacking Rogio around lmao.

It wasn’t obvious in the beginning, but after finding out Rogio suggests a poly relationship to Roamer, it then becomes obvious Kique planned this shit. He planned a polyship and the three of them to have a child as well, which would be Diarko. Which is dumb as hell, considering his mother is actually alive. But Kique writes her as a mother lacking any maternity instincts, cause she just leaves him with MT? It becomes clear to me that the MT storyline is actually all about Rogio and whatever orbits around him.

Then as they return to MT, suddenly Kargo and Rogio become the best of friends. Okay I get it, Rogio saved him. But honestly, it looks like Kargo didn’t want to be saved. And besides that, Rogio and Kargo had no chemistry together. Just because Kargo dies and Rogio brings him back to life does not undo anything?? Kargo should really be like, okay thanks for bringing me back to life, buh bye dude.

Then Galti, Alva and Javo leave and they have this whole conversation that Ranach may return. Which he potentially could. Obviously brainless Rogio didn’t think this through. Sure bringing back Kargo is cool and all, but it ups the risks once more and puts MT in danger again. But Kique wants us to love Rogio because he brought Kargo back, not even factoring in the risks! What a smart guy!

-

Now I’ll be going over his weird / abusive af relationship that he has with Roamer.

When Roamer returns from Midnightgarde after giving Ferah and Kargo a thoughtful farewell. Roamer approaches Rogio and gives this whole speech about how the irbloss are the ones that wanted Roamer to see Rogio. WROOONG. Rogio was suppose to die that night, according to others who had script privileges, or heard it from word of mouth from Kique. Yes, that’s right people, Rogio was suppose to die after Ranach sacrificed him. But for some odd reason, Kique chose this wonderful dog to implement himself into. :-)

What also strikes me weird, is how Roamer was shy with Kargo but not with Rogio. Especially after their breakup. I perceived Roamer as shy with Kargo because a MxM relationship was brand new to him and he was figuring himself out. But when it came to Rogio, suddenly that shyness disappeared and he became the more “dominant” one, all in the course of a few days.

Then, Rogio gives this bullshit speech to Roamer about how he feels this relationship is right and he gets a sense of freedom being with him. I’m sorry, but seeing how Rogio treats Roamer in the future, I take this as love bombing and manipulation from Rogio.

Oh also, I hate how Roamer acts like he knows everything about Rogio when he confronts Kargo. “You have no right to talk like you know either of them.” Roamer???? Kargo literally spent years with Rogio in MT and you really want to tell him that?? You’ve only known Rogio for a few days?? Oh! That’s right. This scene is Kique trying to convince his audience that Kargo is the problem, not Rogio. But it’s absolutely hilarious how Roamer goes on the defensive with Kargo over Rogio, like he’s known Rogio his whole life. GET OUT OF HERE BOI.

I also hate how rushed their relationship is. Once Roamer returns from Midnightgarde, they have this forced chemistry about them. It’s almost like they’ve been together for quite a long time, but factoring the pacing, it’s only been a few days?? A week? I mean right from the get go, Rogio is already trying to bang Roamer, when he returns from saying goodbye to Ferah and Kargo.. And also when they wake up the next morning, this behavior is a damn red flag for me?

Also, why the hell did Roamer fail to tell Ronja he returned first? Oh yeah, cause poor Rogipoo needed Roamer to fend off his demons that he should PROBABLY deal with on his own. But Kique made Roamer the one that deals with all of Rogio’s problems.

Also Ronja acting like she knows Rogio, AT ALL. “And Rogio deserves someone like you, after everything he’s been through.” I mean all of chapter nine is pretty much about coddling up to Rogio, even tho Roamer and Ronja don’t know jack shit about him. UGH.

Then of course, Rogio keeping secrets. Roamer had to find out about Rogio and Ranachs relationship, instead of Rogio just telling him. Idk why it was an issue? But if Rogio felt such strong feelings for Roamer, why does he feel the need to not confide in him about something like that, but instead hide it. Then of course, more coddling Rogio over Ranach, even tho Ranach was never shown to abuse Rogio lmfao.

Also why tf was Rogio and Roamer making out like that in front of everyone when Kargo and Ferah are at the gate? There is a literal child right there you freaking creeps.

Then of course, poor Rogipoo couldn’t sleep when Kargo returned, so Roamer is like ITS OKAY BUDDY! I’ll do all of your chores! Go back to sleep!! Damn, I wish I could have someone do my chores because I couldn’t sleep lmfao. Bastard didn’t even say thank you to Roamer lol.

And of course Roamer trying to protect Rogio from Kargo once more. “Do you think he’s proud of the things he’s done?” Girl, I haven’t once seen Rogio take accountability or talk about past things, unless it involved pitying Rogio. It was always poor Rogio! Never, screw Rogio for leaving the MT females to be raped, while he was trying to raise his position in MT and didn’t seem BOTHERED about trying to change anything. Yeah, screw you man.

Then, my all time favorite scene with Kargo whooping Rogio’s ass, rightfully. Everything Kargo says is completely the truth about Rogio. But of course, Kique handles this as Kargo being the asshole and this is suppose to be some half ass redemption arc for Rogio and somehow we’re suppose to feel bad for him here. I mean cmon man, Kargo has the right to be pissed off at Rogio. He literally crept in and immediately started pulling moves on Roamer, DAYS after their break up!

And before Roamer even came into the picture, when Rogio and Kargo were in old MT together. It’s APPARENT that Rogio has backstabbed Kargo before and ( “You turned your back on me the day our bond mattered the most.” ) then did it again when Roamer left him. So why the fuck would any of us feel bad for Rogio here? I think I can speak for all of us logical readers here, we all side with Kargo, Kique.

I also hate that part when Rogio was telling Kargo “We needed each other.” NEEDED WHAT EXACTLY?! A bang buddy?!

And then Kargo asking Rogio if he loves Roamer. OF COURSE HE DOESNT! He is just using Roamer as a bang buddy! Bro literally couldn’t contain himself in front of a CHILD.

Aaaaah, now comes the juicy bits of their relationship. Rogio becomes the victim of his own self pity and decides to stone wall Roamer, because that’s TOTALLY something you should do in a healthy relationship. He does this QUITE a bit with Roamer, later in the comic.

But! You did hit the nail on the head by saying you can’t do anything as a Baron, so that’s why you’ve stepped down. Good job in that self reflection Rogio!

And of course the nightmares return and what does freaking Roamer do? Tries to bang him. Like??? Yall see this? It’s pretty sad that Roamer thinks sex is the way to comfort / get too Rogio. Because when it comes to touchy subjects like that, sex is the answer for him. Not talking it out, I guess. Because guess what! Rogio shoves Roamer off and ignores him! More stonewalling! Guess that didn’t work, Roamer!

Even when Rogio returns from the Tinget meeting, we have even more stonewalling! In typical Rogio fashion, he’s always giving them sad eyes and walking off. You’re pathetic man.

Then to nobodies surprise, chapter 12 begins with pathetic ass Rogio’s nightmares again. Of course, he walks out. Roamer attempts to comfort him and ask him to talk about what he dreamt about, nothing wrong here as Roamer is trying to support / comfort Rogio. But of course Rogio avoids anything Roamer tells him. I mean Roamer is in tears, pushing aside everything and asking him to love and touch him. But then AGAIN, Rogio walks tf out and leaves him alone to cry about it. Here’s a trophy for biggest asshole of this story, Rogio.

As the stonewalling progresses, it then manifests into Rogio trying to sneak out without telling anyone. At least be courteous and TELL SOMEONE. It’s really not that fucking hard to communicate to someone and say “Hey I need my space! So I am leaving for a little bit.” But of course Rogio wants to draw attention on himself and have the whole Tribe worry about him and possibly go search for him. This could have possibly caused more unnecessary deaths, but thankfully Roamer was able to stop him… With sex. Not sure how you can be in love with someone who just wants to bang you, stone wall you and be an absolute ass to you. Rogio is a walking red flag, Roamer lol.

-

Now my final thing will be Rogio’s weird plot convenient traumas.

Obviously, we’re all aware of Rogio fighting his night beast form and once he comes across the spirit that sends him to the void to fight the night beast, we see more trauma in the sky above him. Except these aren’t any traumas, it’s kind of funny how it’s mostly about Kargo calling out Rogio’s shitty ass behavior, but apparently this is traumatic for Rogio. Well, don’t be an asshole???

And then came the time recently when Rogio suggested that MT can move to his old tribes territory. May I remind you that this is his family’s graveyard? And the territory had a spirit absolutely ravage the whole area, killing the tribe? One would think Rogio would be traumatized from this, but guess what? HE ISNT. Nope! The words of his old families territory rings nothing in Rogio’s empty head. But the poor sop can’t even face Ranach with a whole tribe standing behind him.

I think it’s another dick move for Rogio to not mention anything to Ronja or the tribe about what happened in his old territory. Kique, buddy, you try so hard to make this asshat look good, but end up short every time. You will never change my mind on how I feel about Rogio. SORRY CHUMP.

-

Also all of Rogio’s positive personality traits are all bullshit lol. That trustworthy, loyal and courageous one made me laugh LOUDLY.

-

Notes:

Tbh I had to cut some things out and focus mainly on Rogio’s behaviors, so I may have missed some things. The conclusion of this is to show people and potentially show die hard fans of Home that Rogio really isn’t that great. Kique tries to shine him under a bright light, but he just ends up making a fool out of Rogio.

Rogio should have died the night Kique said he would.

-

Also apologies for this taking so long! Rogio is the worst mess in this comic, as you read.

[impossiblesuitcase]

I know this type of fic will seem strange, but do you remember where Cinder in the first book says that everyone will be aware of what Kai does, and that he will forget her, if this happened as an alternate universe, do you really believe that Kai forgot? of it, or remember it as nostalgia for what could have been as couple

Thanks your for your answer

I intended for this to be a five sentence response. Ha.

(Remember?)

He doesn’t remember her.

Granted, he doesn’t even remember what it feels like to take a full, unstrained breath. Kai is a busy teenager, a grieving son, an ill-prepared emperor and then the happiest widower alive. He can’t pretend to not be overjoyed by his wife’s untimely passing after her brief but bloody one-year stint as empress. The Earthen population didn’t seem to mind much either when the evil Lunar queen was assassinated in her bed by a group of revolting malcontents.

Kai only remembers her when the storm takes mercy on them and calms. The girl at the marketplace. Who’d never worn the gloves he’d given her to the ball she hadn’t attended. The brown eyes he’d never seen again. As the New Beijing Market celebrates a new era of peace with streamers and lanterns and sticky buns, Kai is pulling on his grey hoodie and weaving through the crowds to an unmarked booth. Instead he finds the musty, dark store replaced by a coffeé vendor. The nearby sellers tell him the young mechanic skipped town.

(Kai does remember her joking prod in the elevator, offering up that she was planning to run away to Europe. Now, Kai doesn’t think it was all that much of a joke.)

He searches for her, briefly. Her name turns up no more net results than what had been there the first time he’d sought her services. In checking government records he learns that her guardian reported the disappearance, inciting a police investigation. He has his own staff put on the case, who probably interpret this as a conscientious initiative to apprehend a fugitive as any responsible emperor would. 

Reading the conclusions from the fruitless search by his agents, this is where Kai learns that Linh Cinder is a cyborg.

Something blankets him. Not...disgust or revulsion. Thick, encompassing understanding. He’s near laughter when it strikes him precisely between his third and fourth ribs because he knows that it doesn’t matter if he finds her.

The gloves. The obfuscation. A cyborg, an emperor. This is why she rejected him.

After this, the expressed need to find find find her feels vain. Find her and what? Tell her that—although he likes her—a cyborg would never be accepted by the public as his partner? Then he’d be tearing her away from whatever sanctuary she’s found herself in and subjecting her to capture by the authorities. Because she has cut out her ID chip—illegal. Fled the country without a permit—illegal. Disobeyed orders from her guardian—illegal for cyborgs. Whatever Imperial pardon he could try to extend would be nullified by the Cyborg Protection Act.

It doesn’t matter. She hasn’t been found. He’s no luck at searching for things anyway. That’s why he gave up on Selene. What’s one more thing to give up on?

So Kai doesn’t remember her. But he does revise the Cyborg Protection Act. He is appalled to discover that—despite having Levana’s antidote in his tenuous possession—the cyborg draft is still in operation. Luna is not a trustworthy government under regent Sybil Mira, they fearmonger. They might still need to develop an antidote of their own, they reason.

Both Earth and Luna are barely refraining from seeking blood as it is. After Levana was assassinated, Luna declared full-scale war on Earth, killing hundreds of thousands. Earth retaliated by detonating bombs on the craters of the moon, threatening that next time they wouldn’t spare the inhabited domes. The ceasefire went as follows: Luna and Earth would not intermingle. Luna would provide Earth with the Letumosis antidote in exchange for Earth sending Luna their desperately-needed supplies. No one deemed this agreement as trustworthy. No one had better ideas.

His decision to end the draft is met with mixed response. Kai just secretly hopes that Cinder is watching, holed up in her new musty, dark booth in her new European city with a flicker of pride.

Years past. Funnily enough, Kai learns that—at some point—pretending to forget and forgetting are not so dissimilar.

But sometimes he sees a malfunctioning android down a palace hall and remembers her steady gloved hands on Nainsi. Sees a woman with almost the right shade of brown in her hair and eyes and skin but never close enough. Yet each time, he collects himself, shakes his head and doesn’t give in, and when he marries a second time to a woman he actually wants to be with, his wife’s radiant smile expels any romantic thought of any other girl that has ever crossed his mind.

— — — 

Fourteen years. That’s how long it takes for his loose threads to finally fray. Kai is in his office being briefed by Torin for an upcoming public statement by his cabinet. It has taken fourteen years after Levana’s death to fully uncover all the scrupulously concealed records of the atrocities she committed. As former empress, her crimes have to be reported by the Eastern Commonwealth, though no reasonably-minded Earthen would attribute her crimes to anyone but her own wicked self.

This report intrigues him. It’s not the usual analytics of Levana’s sins against the Earthen public, rather a detailed list of all the Lunars she victimised.

“Why are we reporting this?” Kai asks Torin, keeping his daughter from bouncing off his lap with steady hands. “What Levana did to the Lunar citizenry is beyond our scope of responsibility.”

“Not those on Luna, Your Majesty,” Torin informs. “This report refers to the illegal Lunar refugees who were hiding on Earth.”

Kai vaguely recalls Levana screeching once about how she would kill all the Lunars he had insubordinately smuggled into the country. He hadn’t believed that there were any Lunars on Earth at that naïve eighteen, but a thirty-three-year-old Kai is not surprised. He scrolls past the initial pages of exposition and gets right to the list of victims. He wants a number. How many Lunars were there really on Earth? That day on the balcony, when Levana had claimed that there had been a Lunar among those protestors—had it been true?

It’s page eight that he sees her name.

Linh Cinder. Cyborg. Lunar. Licensed mechanic in New Beijing. Records found to be falsified. True age unknown. True name unknown. Date of immigration unknown.

Cyborg. Lunar.

Kai’s hands are shaking. He places his daughter on the ground. “Torin,” he wheezes, “take her to her mother.”

His daughter’s soft, “Daddy? Was wrong?” goes unanswered.

Once they’ve left the room, Kai is alone with the horror lying in his hands. He clicks on her profile and a full page with her name and portrait appears. It’s a mugshot, but without the official stamp of the Earthen Union law enforcement, he knows it was Levana’s own team of minions doing the arresting. Her hair is loose, glossy and slick. Her eyes defiant but sunken into dark sockets. Her cheeks are full. She was not starving, wasting away in poverty. Evidently she did manage to make a life for herself on the run.

The biography is short. Linh was reported missing by her guardian on 28 August 126 T.E. at 08:31. CCTV footage shows her driving a second-era automobile from New Beijing to France over the course of 8 days. Linh hid in Nice for 7 months using a false ID chip and started a small mechanic business. Records of an apartment lease were found under the false identity. She was discovered by Lunar authorities when a mandatory Letumosis blood test identified Lunar genealogy in her genome. She was swiftly sentenced and executed without a trial on an unknown date for crimes of illegal departure from Luna.

That’s it. The only information. It limns a tale of another victim of the tyrant with not a stroke of sympathy. Kai thrusts down the port, clawing his hands through his hair.

Cyborg. Lunar. Executed.

He calls his wife.

The line clicks immediately. “Honey, is everything okay?” asks his wife, concern cooling her timbre. “Torin said you were all out of sorts.”

His words are faint. “Hey, love, do you remember that girl I liked before you?”

He can hear her smile. “The mechanic?”

“Yeah.”

"What about her?" her voice heaves and Kai hears a small giggle; Torin has brought their daughter back to their quarters. His wife is picking up the heavy three-year-old.

He has no strength to censor himself, even with young ears present. “She’s dead. Levana killed her.”

A long silence. The thread being pulled, pulled, pulled as the fraying creeps up to the heart of it. The girl whispers to her mother, “who Mummy? Who’s Daddy talking ‘bout?”

Her mother doesn’t explain. “Oh, love, I’m so sorry,” she consoles plaintively in that genuine lilt he knows is sincere. His superlatively gracious wife has never judged him for his grief over the lost cyborg, for regretting he couldn’t help the troubled young girl from a bad home. Never has she assigned ulterior motives of him mourning ‘the one that got away’ in some jealous plea for validation. 

He says nothing. He had forgotten her brown eyes, her smile and her gloves. The sarcasm and the pessimism. Each detail had slipped away and now a single photo, an unuttered apology, is trying to resuscitate the dead.

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

Kai reclaims his port and returns to the cover page. It’s entitled: A Comprehensive Account of the Genocide of Lunar Refugees by Queen Levana Blackburn: Names and Implications.

A name. An implication. That’s all she’d be, immortalised in a forgettable list. After the cover page, a number is bolded.

3,582.

The number of Lunar victims. Miniscule compared to Earth’s population. Cinder was almost certainly the only Lunar Cyborg on the list. An oddity. A friendly statistical anomaly.

Never meant to exist. Always meant to be out of reach.

“Kai?”

“It’ll be fine,” he promises, convincing himself of it. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll be fine?” she repeats.

That picture is burnt in his retinas; Cinder, forever sixteen. He, now so much older. He doesn’t mourn a lost love. He didn’t love her; he didn’t know her. He mourns an abandoned child who never even knew that someone was looking for her.

Kai exhales slowly and rests his port on the desk next to his wedding photo and his father's signet ring. 

“I’ll be fine,” he affirms, “You know, I don’t really remember her.”

— — — 

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @icarusignite @kaider-is-my-otp @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @cosmicnovaflare @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @vincentvangothic @bakergirl13 @wassupnye @linh-cindy @therealkaidertrash21

[cackled0g]

A little birdie told me you've got some opinions on Ganondorf in BotW and TotK versus his earlier portrayals, and how the aforementioned pair of games misunderstands and even massacres Ganondorf's character. Please DO elaborate on that if it's not a bother 👀 pre-BotW weirder more-cunning Ganondorf enjoyers rise up!!

Wow, anon, your informant sure does seem to have some strangely specific information about me! Anyway, my main beef with the BotW and TotK games comes down to the fact that in the former, Ganondorf is entirely nonexistent and in the latter, I wish that Ganondorf had never existed.

More LoZ games than not have no Ganondorf, so that's honestly fine in BotW. I think that if every game had Ganondorf it would be more of a downside than anything; in my opinion Ganondorf is best used sparingly in canon. In any case, I would have greatly preferred almost anything other than the shallow, boring, utterly flavorless interpretation of Ganondorf that exists in TotK. I think this ties into my general dislike of the storyline of TotK (I hate the Zonai, Rauru is a colonizing asshole, Zelda gets to be a fridged wife two times in as many games, etc) but even in a vacuum, this Ganondorf is just incredibly fucking stupid?

I think it's worth noting that Ganondorf in the previous games has never been a meathead--he is equal parts military strategist and Big Man with Evil Magic. In OOT he convinces the king of Hyrule that he's trustworthy with relative ease and seemingly only Zelda, who has prophetic dreams, can see through that. In TP he manipulates Zant to do basically all of his dirty work for him so that he can operate behind the scenes. In WW he would have succeeded in destroying the world with the Triforce if not for the king's wish to flood all of Hyrule.

In comparison TotK Ganondorf is laughably shortsighted in refusing to simply not send an army of like...bokoblins over the sky king who has taken over all of Hyrule. He's got no finesse, no strategy here--his plan is like Step One: Kill Rauru Step Two: Rule Hyrule. Any other Ganondorf would have wiped the floor with Rauru no contest, with or without Zelda there to point to him and be like "That man is obviously evil."

My main issue is the lack of depth I guess. What is Ganondorf's motivation in TotK? He doesn't want to join Rauru's Hyrule? He wants PoWeR? Ganondorf has always been ambitious, but this is like middle school fanfic levels of writing. I feel like I need to actually go back and rewatch all of the TotK cutscenes just so I can dig in and try to analyze this stuff better because he so unremarkable that I', struggling to even remember his whole deal. Maybe I'll do that and then reblog this with additional commentary.