#or just lets me kill myself
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#i just really can't keep doing this anymore#my doctor and therapist simply don't fucking get it and neither do my parents or friends or anyone really#like i'm not gonna get any better at anything i think it's for the best that everyone just accepts that and lets me either#live the rest of my life out in misery like that#or just lets me kill myself#like i really don't care if the problem is actually other people or me or my brain or the world literally who the fuck cares#what matters is that i don't want to be here and i'm done trying to solve my problems when i know i can't do it#its just so stupid lol like i don't need anyone telling me#that i had a bad childhood or that i have#a huge victim complex or that i'm going to get better#we all know that im not#like just let me fucking die stop#delete later
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people are designing modern manga characters thinking they should be animator friendly/not too complex/coherent,,,,,,,
meanwhile Nightow in the 1990s:
#trigun#gungrave#i find myself rather funny (not at all)#just wanted an excuse to use the burning letters okay#yasuhiro nightow#trigun maximum#trimax#trigun meme#vash the stampede#legato bluesummers#beyond the grave#brandon heat#also vash's design not being coherent is killing me but also lets me do whatever the fuck i want with his clothes and not question it#that's what nightow did that's what i'll do#shut up stef
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kill your darling, it's just that easy!
#tlt#my art#i reblogged these outfits the other day that were giving me big ianthe & naberius vibes so i wanted to draw something with them#got really funky w/ this one! i just wanted to play around i havent had the chance to draw in a while#so i just kinda let myself do whatever w/ the colors and art style and everything#idk how i feel about it but it was fun#anyway ive seen some posts suggesting that ianthe somehow cheated the system by sacrificing naberius and like...#no she absolutely did not? she paid that price exactly by the book (making her one of the few to actually do so)#and now she suffers forever for it :)#oh the line on top is a quote from the book and the caption is a lyric from 'kill your darling' by cloudy june#(which aside from that one line is not at all a ianthe&naberius song lmao)
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#im not sorry i just had a fun shirt idea#if this has already been done let me know i will kill myself on request
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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Dropping a late night can't sleep doodle and fleeing into the void.
#I love men who look the saddest creature you just found out in the fucking rain#I need to figure out the edges of my art this year#cause they make me deeply unhappy!!!!!!!#swtor#star wars the old republic#Theron Shan#SWTOR Art#SWTOR Doodles#Finch Doodles#Tumblr killed the quality but it's a sketch so I can't let myself care!!!!
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I don't care how many times the rich & famous talk about how being rich & famous is the worst fate humanly possible I will never ever ever believe them for one milisecond lol
#I love mitski but oh my god ''shittiest exclusive club in the world''...you know the other time ive heard that phrase used?#families and friends of people who killed themselves. we often say welcome to the worst club in the world to new ppl on forums#but yeah im sure the heaps of money and thriving career doing what you love isnt worth it bc sometimes fans are creeps. uh huh#yes this is an extention of my chappell rant no i dont want to talk abt it anymore it just makes me too furious lol#every celebrity rallying around her to throw themselves a pity party godddd i cant deal w/it lol#as I said before i would voluntarily put myself through every saw trap in existence to have what you people have#do you really not know how bad the average persons life is. let alone the least privileged 10% ...#and dont send me asks moralizing about this again i really & truly will not change my mind. these people are fucking ridiculous
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softly whispering "don't do this to me please don't do this to me" every time ao3 is taking just a bit too long to load
#ao3#🤞🏻just be my internet please just be my internet 🤞🏻#i need to ration my advil and my head and ear are killing me please just let me distract myself 😭#my textposts
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I used to dislike Lazarus Pit Madness headcanons but I've seen people say "he doesn't need magic madness he has normal madness" and "why would you need a magical explanation for his behaviour have you people never heard of cptsd" and while I understand the sentiment (and Jason definitely has cptsd) this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say dc has a dangerous habit of demonizing/villanizing mental illness and it has a real impact on the fandom's perception of mental illness. Winnick isn't the worst when it comes to Jason's writers but the fact that he wrote Jason as both a brilliant hypercompetent villain and a sympathetic character that makes you go "oh hey, he has a point..." should not distract you from the fact that no, decapitation is not a common symptom of cptsd.
#i told myself i'd let it go because I understand the annoyance with the idea of the pit madness#and the points that were made to a certain extent#but i keep seeing it and it's so frustrating#i just had a conversation with a friend the other day who said “oh i never thought about it like that”#“to me it's fine if they don't have accurate depictions of mental illness because it's just comics it doesn't have to accurately depict life#“it's not gonna have an impact”#but then i log in and it visibility has had an impact if people are saying that#and i understand the appeal of jason as a villain#no hate to the fans#this is clearly on dc. they have a responsibility.#also fucking kill the joker omg#dc critical#jason todd#jason todd deserves better#tw psychophobia#red hood#under the red hood critical#i still think red hood jason is a fascinating character#and he does have cptsd#but it's a villanized/demonized depiction of it and we should acknowledge that
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2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri
#not my best ever gifs i dont think BUT IM SOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!#OSCAR P1!!!!!! OSCAR WIN!!!!!! OSCAR ROOKIE WIN LETS GOOOOO#i still cant believe it this is absolutely insane#i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow#back in bahrain i could never have imagined him winning a race this year!! IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON!!!!#I was shocked when i woke up to see him have gotten pole in the shootout#AND THEN TO WATCH HIM WIN!!!! SOOOOOOO GOOD#Im so proud of him sob sob sob#again: throwbacl to me and dru talking abt the possibility of him podiuming or even winning#and i was like no way i doubt it with this car. nevermind :) ive never been so happy to be incorrect#WHERE IS MARK!??!!?!??!!? WHERE ARE YOU???? YOUR BOY JUST FUCKING WON!!!! WHERE IS THE HUG???? WHERE IS THE CONGRATS???#i swear to god if i check his insta and theres yet another animal vid on his story im going to kill the old man#HE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE GARAGE YESTERDAY FOR QUALI!! WHERE WAS HE TODAY AAAGHHHHHH#oscar piastri#f1#formula 1#formula one#2023 qatar grand prix#2023 qatar gp#we do a little bit of f1
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So, today my husband said, "Some people think Shanks is a radial leftist, but I think he's the most centrist character in the show. Dragon fills the role of the radial leftist/anarchist that people often attribute to Shanks."
And, huh, yeah. People do often talk about Shanks like he's an anarchist, but he's really not. I've always said that Shanks is a mediator, keeping a tentative peace between the pirate tribes and the government until the time comes wherein the One Piece can be claimed and the mysterious consequences can happen, but that means he is effectively playing the part of a centrist—straddling the fence, as it were. The key difference, I think, is that Shanks knows for certain that change is coming in the form of a rubber deity, and he is trying to guide it into place. All his work is done behind the scenes with very little violence if he can help it.
Now, it's easy to assume that Shanks' plans involve the complete dissolution of the government as it presently stands; that he is simply using his power & influence to mitigate harm for the many until the "real fight" can begin (and, with him having recently decided to chase the One Piece, now it has), but that might not be the case (and, even if it is the case, a lot of centrists use "mitigating harm for the many" as a reason not to take action against some truly heinous acts). The reality may be that Shanks doesn't see the need for the total collapse of the government, or perhaps he knows something about it that we don't (i.e. because he might be of Celestial Dragon blood). I don't really believe this is the case because, as far as I'm aware, Shanks hasn't ever shown any real support for the World Gov but he has shown, time and time again, that he believes in dreams, in people's personal willpower, and in the ability of anyone to become strong and change the future. But the truth is that we can't know his intentions for certain without Oda giving us more information, so my husband's assertion that Shanks is a centrist makes some sense.
In particular, Luffy is what makes this theory interesting: slap him in between Dragon and Shanks, and there's a very real dichotomy between the two "fathers" in his life. See, Luffy idolises Shanks and thinks of him similarly to a father, but he might realise as time goes on that he can't be like Shanks; he might realise that Shanks' ideals will only carry him so far. After all, what good is it to be a pacifistic when your enemy is a powerful government that is comfortable with mass murder?
(My rebuttal is that Luffy is the only one who can be like Shanks. He is effectively Shanks' dream: Shanks wants to be strong enough to do all the work himself, to suffer all the pain himself, and while he is one of the strongest men in the world, he simply can't do that; what he can do is only achievable through the support he has at his side. Meanwhile, Luffy has close support in his crew, and he has the Gum-Gum Fruit! He can literally become a godlike figure and shape the world around him! He can do everything that Shanks wants and needs and, as sure as I am that Shanks wishes he could have done it himself—I'm thinking back to his days with Roger here—he knows that it was never meant to be him.)
This is where Dragon comes in. Dragon, in direct contrast to Shanks, uses violence as a tool whenever he can. He's all about the greater good, for lack of a better term. His thinking is along the lines of, "People are suffering now and we can help, and we have no qualms in forcibly dismantling a government that uses slavery, genocide, and imprisonment to control its populace. We don't wait for the right time to act, we simply act." Do I think Shanks would approve of Dragon's goals? Yes. Do I think he would approve of Dragon's means in achieving those goals? No, but mostly because Shanks is very self-sacrificial and tries to take whatever suffering is necessary for change onto himself, relying only on his small, personal crew, whereas Dragon is happy to let other people martyr themselves for the rebel cause. He lets a small, amnesiac child join them, for crying out loud—something Shanks would never do, not even if the child proved very capable.
If anything is to come from this difference of ideals, I think it's that Luffy will learn from both of them and find his own way to the One Piece and into the world waiting beyond. Why? Well, because Luffy is all about freedom, and no one on the side of Dragon or Shanks is truly free. As for the world itself, it's hard to predict what will happen after Luffy's done with it because it's pretty dependent on Oda's philosophy. For instance, Oda seems to approve of monarchies, which is not something I would personally imagine remaining in a world without a governing body—but, hey, what do I know?
Of course, we all know that the true centrist in the show is undeniably Garp. He will let real, undeniable harm befall those he cares about in order to maintain the status quo, or to stop the government from toppling because [gasp] that would be the worst thing ever! He's a man who believes the government is essential and joins up in order to change it from the inside, only to fall short of his own expectations because he won't stand up when it matters most. Not even for the sake of his beloved grandson.
#i haven't put these thoughts together in the best way but i just needed to get them OUT THERE#bearing in mind that neither myself or my husband are completely caught up in OP#we're on Whole Cake Island#but YES i still believe luffy will turn down being the pirate king for one reason or another leaving buggy to claim the crown#because let's face it: buggy has tripped into power roles so many times#and he was “overlooked” for the role of king (mostly because of his own self-worth issues/being intimidated by shanks' sheer potential)#so it would make sense for him to become king! that's his dream: recognition as he finally stands side-by-side with shanks. equals at last#(and yes i do believe that buggy looks up at shanks so much that he would need to get ABOVE shanks in stature to finally see them as equals#or something like that#anyway.... this was a long one.#(guess who's ADHD prescription finally got filled!? the med shortages are killing me. my brain is happy when i have my meds.)#somehow this became a “fuck you garp” post lol#i love garp tho#one piece#one piece meta#shanks#monkey d. luffy#monkey d. garp#monkey d. dragon#also shanks & pride is a super interesting combo that i must explore one day#shanks doesn't have a fruit—none of his crew do. neither did any of roger's crew. there's gotta be a reason for it#but what if—what if that reason was simply pride?#(that would make him a good match for mihawk)
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controversial take here but i really hope hetty is on her absolute worst nastygirl/comedic clown behavior in s4 to push back against the poor little meow meow woobification curse shes been experiencing since holes because i am tired
#i almost wish hiles never happened because nobody understands her character anymore lol#few things worse than when your blorbo becomes the character everyone self inserts themselves onto 💔#whenever i get too mad i remind myself that rebecca wisocky views her exactly the same way i do and then i feel better :)#watching an incredibly nuanced female character get flattened out intonthe tragic one who killed herself makes me wanna scream#bc nobody even understands WHY she killed herself and i am ripping my hair out#z#ppl r allowed to interpret the character different from me but i am allowed to think they’re wrong <3#oh no i wrote this at 6am thinking nobody would see it LMAO this is just a personal gripe#obviously people can do whatever they want and i will not stop you or directly argue#play with your dolls however you want and dont let me being a bitch stop you#i just am allowed to be grumpy about it similtaneously 😂
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so let’s get something straight: if i cover my ears because i cannot stand the sound of someone chewing, im being rude. so i don’t cover my ears and instead end up in tears, and im being dramatic and im an attention seeker. so i move away from whoever it is who is chewing, and im being disrespectful and making that person feel bad, so clearly im a horribly selfish person. so i blast music to drown out the sound of somebody chewing, but its rude to listen to music at the dinner table, so obviously i have no manners and im a horrible person. how can i win this???
#personal#vent#the first few times i had to move away because i couldn’t handle the sound‚ my parents yelled at me and i ended up in tears anyway#but genuinely there is no way to win this#there is no way to handle my own issues without being told that i’m a horrible person#i swear i have some form of misophonia because i seriously cannot hear chewing without wanting to kill that person and then myself#misophonia#neurodivergent#anyway i’m defs not neurotypical let’s just say that
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Strawberry Ice Cream Soda-Pop or something like That!
#I love how Barnaby sounds EXACTLY like how I imagined him to Sound! And Howdy’s voice too! It’s so so Great!#and their Interactions.. OH MAN! I CANT believe I would say this But I ship them EVEN MORE#Everytime I replay that Audio of Howdy and Barnaby talking about Family and all I just think to Myself ‘they’re such a Lovely Duo’#and then Howdy says something About meeting Barnaby’s mom and I just Ascended to Nirvana because you see#It’s Him meeting his Mother in Law and in my Head they’re Married#AND IT’S KILLING ME INSIDE BECAUSE I KNOW ITS ALL PLATONIC BUT I CAN’T HELP BUT SHIP THEM MORE NOW#LIKE THE CHEMISTRY IS DJKSMSMXMX LETS JUST ADMIT IT THEYRE CUTE TOGETHER#welcome home puppet show#welcome home#barnaby x howdy#howdy x barnaby#beaglepillar#laughingstock#welcome home fanart#welcome home arg#welcome home project#fanart#barnaby b beagle#barnaby b. beagle#krasytoonz#barnaby Beagle#wally darling#welcome home barnaby#welcome home howdy#welcome home Wally#my beloved OTP they ARE SO SO SO CUTE
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Being yelled at by some clerk as if you're a twelve year old who didn't do her homework while you're a grown woman is a surreal experience.
#like fuck off I won't explain myself where it doesn't concern you#you behave like you know anything about me#you're an arsehole on a power trip madam#jabbernaty#why do office workers always treat you like you're some archvillain who ruined their life took all their money and killed their dog?#in the whole office there's always one (1) chill person who's willing to help you#the rest just want your arteries#and I get it if I were rude or something but I was polite and tired#I just want to live in peace and not to be depressed#I don't have the energy to deal with your god complex#let me be
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hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.
I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.
In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.
I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.
I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.
If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.
Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.
#and on that note#I also think some people need to sit down and ask themselves#if their old end times anxieties and fears and preparations and word spreading#haven’t filtered straight into a new non religious end of society and end of modern world order anxiety that they’re pushing on other peopl#even if it is the end times#you cannot change that by beating your own anxieties into other people’s heads#people can care MORE when they are GIVEN ROOM TO BREATHE#first rule of sustainable activism is you can’t do it constantly and you can’t push it on people constantly#you have to pace it and you have have have have HAVE to play long games#short term activism burns you out and if it leads to full despair from burnout it can get you killed via depression#it’s not a joke#there’s a reason your elders have books and community lore about healthy activism even in times of crisis#they lived it. they learned from it. learn from them.#spend your time doing things that can make real impacts.#do little things online but unless you’re an actual information hub you shouldn’t be posting constantly about it#people won’t even want to follow you anymore eventually because that’s not why they followed you#and then you have no audience for your important message anyway.#I know this. I learned it myself on other accounts.#please. stop. harassing me.#how is harassing me going to make me MORE willing to change my mind and post? just because you demanded it?#I am an autonomous person#this is my ONE curated space on the website#you have a multitude of tags and other users#don’t waste energy on a person who already told you no. let’s call that activism rule number two#spend your energy where it’s not likely to be wasted#you’re needed for a long haul#act like it 😭#and stop spamming me 😭#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?
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