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taken life, given soul (Xenoblade Ship Week 2023 Day 1)
Vanea's work in constructing Face Nemesis requires a suitable pilot to house the soul of Lady Meyneth. After finally acquiring a worthy candidate, she is surprised to learn that the chosen Homs still lives after the procedure, and is even more surprised at her willingness to strike up conversation with a supposed enemy. (2311 words)The second part of this writing replaces the Face Nemesis cutscene from the end of Chapter Six.
This is the first meeting between Vanea and my self-insert, Citri! ..Not the most conventional or romantic of first meetings, but here it is in writing nonetheless! Despite being a couple of days late on the finishing, I decided that hopefully this could be fitted to this year's Xenoblade Chronicles ship week, as set up by a friend of mine - I hope that that's alright ^-^
(Anyone is welcome to comment on or reblog my work if they wish, as long as my DNI is respected! Tag list and document transcript are under the readmore.)
Tag list: @dragonsmooch | @hiraya-rbs | @bugsband | @sunlight-ships | @winds-beloved | @goatfaggot | @starlit-selfships | @stargazer-sims | @sharkyaoi | @detective-with-one-arm | @deepsea-loves | @wexlcr | @artificervaldi | @thatslikesometaldude (To be tagged in (or stop being tagged in) what I make, please see this post!)
Document transcript:
The Central Factory that lay within the chest of the Mechonis was where all Homs were taken after their capture, ready to be repurposed in the bodies of the Faced Mechon and used to assault the titan they had once dwelled upon. The recent attack on Colony 9 had provided the Mechon with some valuable resources, even if some of the initial reports were conveying worrying news about a new wielder of the Monado arising. Within the metal walls of the facility, new Mechon soldiers of all kinds were constantly being manufactured, mass-produced Faces among them. All operations were brilliantly orchestrated by the lone man spearheading the charge against the Bionis, who even now was doubtless deep in thought about how best to proceed in his efforts.
However, in an illuminated chamber that sat above the rest of the vast factory, his sister - a similarly-tall Machina woman with long grey hair - was overseeing the automated construction of a vast white-silver figure. Its parts all towered above her, interlaced with golden details and a doubled red diamond on its helmet-like faceplate. Below the mechanical figure lay an additional array of compatible pieces resembling parts of a human body, ready and waiting for a pilot to be fitted into them. Dozens of individual pieces were being put together by fine machinery, each one being subtly tweaked or modified as the woman carefully adjusted the many glowing controls before her, but the overall structure had yet to be properly assembled.
"Lady Vanea." came a sudden voice from the communication system above the woman. "There is a matter which requires your attention."
"What is it?" Vanea responded, addressing the empty chamber with cautious, distracted uncertainty. "I am still trying to resolve the faults in this Face's digits; can the matter not wait until this is resolved?"
The other voice seemed to pause, but only for a moment, before continuing its announcement. "It is about the pilot for the Face you are currently working on. Two potential candidates have been identified by our preliminary systems."
That was enough to catch Vanea's ear, as her eyes widened slightly before she finally turned her head to face the other voice. "..Very well. Please bring them here immediately, then."
A few robotic chirps could be heard, before further machinery began to whir into action - this time at the other end of the chamber, which Vanea had now turned to face with her back to the silver Face's controls. Its parts continued to be constructed without her direction, aside from what should have eventually become its pilot's fingers, given that they still lacked the proper range of movement to be fitted onto such an important Faced Mechon.
After a few moments, an opening appeared in the dark metal floor of the chamber, and the bodies of two young Homs women were lifted up through it, held up by actuators from the factory. Both looked somewhat similar at the first glance, being the same height and appearing of similar age - they both had golden blonde hair (though one wore it in a long dishevelled plait where the other's only fell to just past her shoulders), and as they were each scanned for further information, Vanea could see on the displays that they both had dark green eyes. One had freckles dotting her shoulders and rounded cheeks, and was littered with a number of scrapes and bruises, while the other's skin was clearer and she appeared to have suffered one particularly significant wound that had clawed at her clavicle.
"..What about these Homs has marked them out as worthy vessels?" Vanea asked, before the continued operations of the myriad machines circling each Homs began to output the pertinent results on the floating screens around her in the chamber. Carefully examining the data that had been gathered, Vanea found the answers lying within each girl's scanned memories, snapshots playing from them like a slideshow - the pair clearly shared a long history with not only each other, but also several other inhabitants of their home colony, and one boy with light blonde hair stood out particularly strongly to the Machina.
"..The Heir of the Monado." she said aloud in recognition. "They were both friends with him, it would seem.."
She pored over the memories closely, trying to glean what information she could about the two Homs' personalities from them. It seemed like somewhat of an invasion of privacy to do this, but it was of the utmost importance that everything was as perfect as it could be for her current project, so such measures had to be taken to ensure the correct compatibility. Finally, after some time, she had made her decision - it was the freckled Homs with the longer hair who would be used for this purpose, due to the piercing injury sustained by the other one potentially making it difficult for the key component to be added correctly. The glimpses of her many days spent pursuing scientific endeavours with the Monado's newest wielder had also caught Vanea's eye more strongly.
"Please take this girl and prepare her for piloting Nemesis." the Machina stated to her assistant machinery, before turning to look over her shoulder at the unfortunate error still blaring from the screens behind her. "..Adjust the current pilot specifications to her body plan, but- try to preserve her original hands, if possible. That may have to be the workaround for the defects in the current digits, non-ideal though it may be.."
She then sighed, and addressed the chosen girl's companion.
"This other one does still hold promise, though.. Perhaps see whether any of our experimental designs might be compatible with her frame - Azure, for example."
As the machinery around her whirred to action once more according to her choices, and each girl was sent to her fate, Vanea took a moment to compose herself, staring up at the pieces of her dream - the central prism of golden metal standing out above all others.
A vessel had finally been found to hold the soul of her people's goddess, and with her divine revival thus at hand, the time had come for the tides of war to shift.
As long as everything in this experiment proceeded as it was meant to, the end to such ceaseless conflict may have finally begun.
What a shame that the Homs' past would be erased in the process..
==========
Enough time had passed for all the preparations to be made. The Homs girl chosen by Vanea now had most of her body replaced by the mechanical components made beforehand, each piece now individually modified to ensure maximum compatibility with her remaining reconfigured immune and nervous systems. The only parts of her left that still appeared biological were her head above the neck and her hands past the wrists, though even they had received artificial upgrades below the surface to better serve as the Faced Mechon's central nerve unit.
This pilot unit was now being lifted into the central cockpit of the much larger silver Mechon, which had now itself been fully assembled. Its spiked and winged structure hovered high above Vanea like an angel, ready and waiting dutifully for its first activation as the final touches were smoothly made to its surfaces.
“Face Nemesis." Vanea began, addressing the construct above her.
"Your frame is complete.
As is the integration of your pilot."
Some of the assistant Mechon receded, revealing the pilot's unconscious figure sat in place within Nemesis' torso.
"This Homs..
She holds memories of the Heir of the Monado.
She appears to have seen him as a friend.
..I wonder what she would have been like to know.
But, that is not important here.
It only means that her body will be an able vessel for you, my Lady.
All that remains is the soul transfer..”
All other machines departed as the final Mechon descended, carrying the golden metal prism in its grasp. With exactly-calculated precision, the triangular component was fitted onto the chest of the Homs pilot. There was a moment of silence, before familiar red energy started to flow through the body of Face Nemesis; the soul component then started to glow with power, before settling down again as the armoured plating closed over the cockpit chamber.
"..I have fulfilled my duty." Vanea stated, allowing herself to smile as everything finally fell into place.
"You and only you can bring about a new age on Mechonis -
no, the entire world.
My mistress,
Lady Meyneth."
She waited, and then became all too aware of how empty the chambers around her still felt.
"..Lady Meyneth?"
A feminine voice suddenly rang out through Nemesis' speakers, but it was not the kind and caring tone that the Machina so fondly recalled, even all these centuries since she had last heard it directly.
"Ah.. Where.. W-Where am I..?"
Vanea's own voice caught in her throat from hearing such an unexpected response, and her brow furrowed. "You.. Are you Lady Meyneth?"
"What?" came the other voice, sounding weary and confused from inside the Faced Mechon. "No, my name is Citri. Um.. What *is* all of this..?"
At that moment, all Vanea could do was blink. She had never spoken with a Face pilot directly before, and the concern rising inside of her about what she had done wrong was making it all but impossible for her to properly address the anomaly.
"Something has gone wrong with the soul transfer.." she mumbled to herself, beginning to anxiously flit between the different screens and keyboards in her vicinity. "Yet, the scans themselves seem to be indicating that everything is properly in place.. Her presence is clearly *detectable*, and yet the central core is not showing signs of *activity*-"
A sense of panic flared within her, and her ability to maintain a composed exterior was rapidly deteriorating.
"My dearest goddess, what have I done wrong..?"
As she stifled a sob, the sound of mechanical joints moving rang out through the chamber, before they stopped (having been moved in error) and the torso plating opened back up instead.
"Um.. When you say "central core", do you mean this part?"
A tiny *tap-tap* noise, much quieter than any type of metal hitting metal could produce, prompted Vanea to lift her gaze. The Homs girl - *Citri*, as she had called herself - was tapping her still-organic fingernail on the prism of golden metal that was fitted to the chest of her new body.
"..Yes, that is correct." Vanea admitted, blinking uncertainly again.
"It.. feels as though something is inside of it." she then tried to explain, tilting her head as much as the cockpit would allow her to. "Some*one*, rather, if.. what you were saying before about your goddess is true. But.. I'm not sure whether she can wake up yet?"
The Machina took a moment to consider Citri's words. "That would be unfortunate, but.. it is reassuring to know that you are able to sense her presence."
Citri gave a small nod, very tentatively, but her expression was uncertain.
"..What was supposed to have happened?" she then asked.
"That Lady Meyneth's soul would be swiftly transferred into your body, overwriting your own, for her subsequent use as a vessel to pilot Face Nemesis." Vanea stated matter-of-factly. Then she stopped.
"..That was rather callous of me, wasn't it?"
"Somewhat, yes." admitted Citri, who would have mustered a smile if not for how disoriented she still felt. "But if nothing else, you definitely answered me clearly with how you said it, so.. thank you."
An awkward silence then settled in between the two.
"..Could you possibly tell me more about what's happened? What you've done to me, and all?"
The genuine nature of such a question, and the absolute lack of malice that she had expected to permeate through any Homs unwillingly stolen by Mechon, made it impossible for Vanea to simply dismiss the girl's curiosity. Something softened in her expression, and she opened her mouth to try and form an explanation, but the same voice from before piped up through the communication systems as she did so.
"Lady Vanea." it called out. "Master Egil wishes to see you."
This made her pause with some uncertainty. "Understood. Tell him I will see him.. momentarily." she then settled on.
"Acknowledged."
The device whirred away as Vanea's gaze fell back onto Citri, her red eyes meeting her green ones for a moment before neither felt able to hold the gaze further.
"..I apologise for this interruption, but- you may have my word that I shall return to these chambers once I have finished meeting with my brother." she then said. "It may well be that Lady Meyneth has properly awakened by that time, but if not, then.. If you would listen to our story, then I see no harm in sharing it with you."
"I understand." replied Citri. "That means a lot, Vanea."
She smiled at the mention of her name. "You miss little, I see. Very well then. I shall return shortly, Citri."
With nothing more to say for the moment, she then left her alone within Face Nemesis.
Only *after* she had turned to leave the chamber did Vanea realise her own instinctive use of the girl's own name, and she was surprised to have found herself recalling it from one mention. Nevertheless, she persisted in her next objective, doing her utmost to regain her usual composure even as she silently came to the conclusion that it was a name she wished to remember, despite part of her also knowing it was not a name she should have ever had a chance to learn.
Thankfully for both, there would still be many opportunities in the days that followed to converse, and to learn, and to get to know each other more than either could have envisioned beforehand.
#a call from the void#creations from the void#my writing#xenoblade chronicles selfshipping#xenobladeshipweek23#yes i'm using the proper tag no I don't care if other people see this i'm going to be brave#this post is okay for anyone to reblog as long as my DNI is respected!#heart of the void#selfshipping#love: a wish for peace (vanea)#selfship: a love to last millennia (vanea/citri)#or its beginnings at least#self‑insert: vessel of nemesis (citri)#of gods and titans (xenoblade chronicles)#another character also technically shows up but not very prominently#and lady meyneth is *supposed* to show up but doesn't#..I really feel like this needs some kind of content warning but I cannot think of how to word it right this second sorry#and on the note of right this second it is quarter past two in the morning oops#uhh. mechanisation I guess? would that work I don't know#i have no idea how accurate this is story- or character-wise I apologise#canon is what I make of it or something along those lines#anyway I hope this is okay
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💖🎊the end, & thank you for reading!!🎊💖
im so thankful for all the support i got on this story, and i wouldn't have finished it if not for all of you, and for the love i got for seb and clora. so thank you again for giving me the motivation to write this 600k+ monster, and to see it through to the very end. LOVE YALL💖🫶 (ao3/wattpad)
#THAAATS ALL FOLKS#so surreal that after over a year i wont have the thought in the back of my mind of 'oh i need to start on the next chap soon'#its freeing but also empty🥲 im sure ill still have moments where im like CRAP I NEED TO UPDATE--oh wait nvm LOL#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#choccyart#my first ever longfic i managed to finish... all my other attempts in other fandoms i fizzled out at like 60k or 70k words#all thanks to yall supporting my brainrot 🙏🙏whether it was a year ago or a day ago🙏#there are some regular readers i had in the VERY beginning that i still think about BAHAHA......hope theyre doing good#and if they ever remember my fic and think about reading it again AT LEAST ITS ACTUALLY COMPLETE AND GOOD TO GO WOO#i feel so accomplished...SIDEQUEST COMPLETE😤
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it’s important to me that peter and co always have their bank accounts in the negatives . like it is fundamental that spider-man is broke
#peter parker#ben reilly#kaine parker#miles morales#i dont care what marvel editorial is doing with the clones btw. they are my barbie dolls#spider-man#marvel#spiderman#my art#pavitr and miles next. i have bullied peter for far too long i have to set my sights on other spiders#ALSO FINALLY HANDED IN MY COURSEWORK I CAN BE SOOOO SICK ABOUT SPIDERMAN BEGINNING TODAY!!!!!!!#well . its been going for a while but i mean i can draw a little more often#i have other uni obligations but at least possibly i can start reading and understanding comicsverse spiderman.#instead of ya know. cobbling together what i know from mutuals and tvtropes
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Unlike the Albatross, Kymagryphs are definitely not good omens for mariners.
#griffin#albatross#monster art#spec bio#hallowed carrion#this makes me think of my favortie part of the Iron Maiden song#THE ALBATROSS BEGINS WITH ITS VENGEANCE#does this count fro mermay? its the ocean at least#jkjk
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joseon king x scheming advisor.....
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#orv#my art#joongdok#kdj is hired as a military strategist but mostly spends his time preventing assassination attempts on yjh and himself#he should be simultaneously the most and least trustworthy existence in yjh's life#they are always observed whispering to each other out of earshot of the crowds#after a while kdj begins carrying around a simple folding fan to guard against lipreaders#and centuries later historians will uncover fragments of its jade handle in yjh's tomb
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
#my art#ok to rb#christopher moltisanti#when that wizard cursed me and i felt indebted to his soul#sketchbook tour#sopranos#sopranos fanart#christopher your violent delights will undoubtedly have violent ends (are they even your delights to begin with?)#these are like 6 mo old now. at least the first two#i could prob make these look better if i edited them for longer but i cant be fucked. only uploading these now bc i figured if its been 6#months i probably wont ever go scan these with the heavy duty 800 dpi scanner. this works good enough#i dont really draw like this anymore it got really exhausting#i miss watching sopranos so bad i felt like i was feasting on it for days every time i watched an episode. took so long for me to watch#bc anything that makes me feel that high couldnt be good for me. had to space the episodes out by a few days
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I know that possession is ranked third most likely canon superbat kiss but it is first in my heart… solely because of Lois’s hypothetical reaction.
#if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from the silver age#its that Lois hates when people use magic for romantic means#and she doesn’t judge when it happens to shoes#(mostly)#and if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from the modern age#it’s that Lois finds Clark and Bruce’s platonic marriage funny#this also applies to fake relationships#in the silver age at least she didn’t get jealous at all when she was setting them up between superman and someone else#so if she was in on it from the beginning#I think she’d have a lot of fun#dc comics#my art#superman#lois lane#clark kent#bruce wayne#superbat
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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i think a lot about how early-series, demigods are referred to pretty equally as "demigods," "half-bloods," and "godlings," - the last used particularly by gods at demigods - but after that "godlings" is almost exclusively used to refer to minor gods.
something something i am literally always chewing on the concept of the line between immortals/demigods/monsters/etc being thinner than it appears
#pjo#riordanverse#we should bring this back i want more ambiguity between demigods and immortals#and where they stand between mortals and immortals#ESPECIALLY with the TOA worldbuilding of ''oh yeah inverse of immortals fading - if enough people believe hard enough it becomes true''#and people canonically leveraging that to become immortal through that means#like WHAT that is FASCINATING WORLDBUILDING#and is potentially really cool for how the gods function#but also SO MUCH EXISTENTIAL HORROR POTENTIAL ON THE DEMIGOD END#jason and percy getting idolized so much they literally start to become warped by other people's perceptions of them...#jason being accidentally immortalized because almost everyone who knows him puts him on such a pedestal#AND INVERSE TOO. demigods who are so looked down upon they LITERALLY begin to be warped into monsters#tbh we just generally need more of modern demigods being turned into monsters#like how many myths are there of mortals and heroes being turned into monsters and animals#wheres that for demigods. its gotta happen sometimes. especially since we know other curses are frequent enough#also. how much we're told the greeks interact directly with the olympians (field trips to solstice meetings etc etc)#and how willing the gods seem to be to curse demigods/mortals#heck Mr D is constantly threatening to turn people into dolphins. he's gotta have made good on that at least once
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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People give Valka a lot of shit which makes me sad bc her flaws are what make her interesting, and I LOVE thinking about her character.
Like, Have we considered how she had Hiccup at 20 and was married before that? Have we considered that, though she was in love with Stoick, marrying the Chief (or soon-to-be-chief) is a lot of responsibility? Have we considered how young 20 is and Hiccup takes after her in so many ways, not feeling ready for responsibility or wanting to settle down could be one of them? Have we considered she deliberately didn't come back because she maybe felt she wasn't ready to be a mother? Have we considered she loves Hiccup and Stoick so dearly but needed to live her own life? Have we considered how bittersweet the reunion really was because she realized she missed her chance to actually be a mother and how much the guilt of not coming back must've weighed on her?
I LOVE YOU VALKA HTTYD!!!!!!!
#valka#how to train your dragon#httyd 2#httyd#shes still a deadbeat mom but i love her#i HATEE when ppl shit on valka like what happened to supporting womens wrongs :(#i wish we actually saw some kind of idk confrontation? discussion of how growing up withojt a mother affected hiccup#then perhaps an apology the kind that you know doesnt even begin to make up for the hurt.#bc theres nothing that can be done about it now but trying to move forward. but its bittersweet bc you know theyre at least trying#then possibly some more bonding over dragons as well as them GRIEVING STOICKS DEATH TOGETHER AND BECOMING CLOSER FOR IT#goddd never forgiving thw for how they MASSACRED valka#hiccup haddock#valka haddock#haddock family#httyd headcanon#kind of? more like speculation#speculation on things i know damn well the writers didn't gaf about 😭#valka httyd#moth.txt#deyas dragons
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I honestly can't talk enough about this scene, there's just so much that happens here, it's Incredible.
#jurassic world: chaos theory#jwct#chaos theory#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#the end of the beginning#big eatie#atrociraptor tiger#atrociraptor#there's at least ten things to talk about here#but that's its own discussion
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EVERY TIME I THINK OF THIS PANEL I GO A LITTLE MORE INSANE. THE BEGINNING. THE BEGINNING OF WHAT?? wonder duo era?? hero partners bakudeku?? their marriage?? their eyes meet across the battle field and something BEGINS??? HORI LET ME IN I JUST WANNA TALK
#bakudeku#bkdk#WHAT IS BEGINNING HERE WITH THEIR EYE CONTACT#THEY MEET EYES THEIR FEELINGS BECOME ONE AND THEN WHAT#WHAT IS BEGINNING WHAT IS ITTELL ME#every time I am wondering if i’m reading too much into bkdk I remember something began when their eyes met across a battle field#THE MOST TENDER LOOK ON KATSUKI’S FACE EVER TOO#SERIOUSLY WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ITS GOTTA AT LEAST BE HERO PARTNERS RIGHT AM I CRAZY#also izuku def fell in love all over again here#how can he not#and 404 he falls in love again again
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scanned some pages from a few of my sketchbooks from this year and made a little pdf
you can get it free on kofi!
#the art of a lemon wedge#youve probably already seen most these pages but this time its actually scanned and not just a shitty photo from my phone lol#i was feeling a little down since this i hadnt drawn as much this year#at least not as many finished pieces to post#cause my hand was too fucked to use my computer at the beginning of the year#and the lose of my friend in the middle of the year#my mental health has been ABYSMAL#and yet#ive used my physical sketchbook when i could#and i DID want to continue putting together pdfs every year#so as a little reminder to myself#HERE I AM BABY
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how is sex work perceived and treated - spiritually, legally, morally - in broad areas relevant to the white calf core cast? imperial wardi, the hills etc
Sex work is EXTREMELY stigmatized in Imperial Wardin, yet generally regarded as an element of society and a necessary function, not one to be eliminated. You'll occasionally find fringe groups decrying the presence of brothels as polluting elements upon cities, but they are minority figures- sex work is legal, generally accepted, and very common.
There are some exceptions- in most of the city-states, only sex work out of registered brothels is considered fully legal (independent sex workers are breaking the law in most city-states, though how much these laws are enforced varies heavily). All legally operating brothels must be officially registered, and are heavily taxed.
Prostitution of children is illegal, and this is one of VERY few protections for sex workers that is strongly enforced. But it should be clear that the societal definition of a child here does not match the contemporary- a person is generally considered an adult woman upon menarche (which is later on average due to poorer nutrition, but is still going to include a lot of like, 14 year olds). Boys are considered adults at the age of 16.
Forced prostitution is also illegal on paper, but this is poorly enforced. Even when not Outright forced, many sex workers are working as indentured laborers, or under prohibitive conditions where they have very little freedom of movement or legal ability to leave during the duration of their contracts.
Sex workers are an incredibly vulnerable, stigmatized social minority that have very few protections and are often subject to abuse.
The stigma against sex work surrounds the sex workers themselves. This is culturally justified and partly rooted in aspects of broader body taboo- receiving penetration = metaphysical vulnerability = openness to spiritual pollution, and they are considered to be heavily polluted by their line of work (regardless of whether or not a given person actually is receiving penetration on a regular basis- male sex workers who primarily have women as clients receive much the same treatment, the stigma here is fundamentally a form of bigotry, not something with a consistent internal logic).
In addition to concerns around penetration, the act of '''selling''' the body itself is seen as a polluting devaluation of the sacred body and using it to extreme excess. Sexuality and libido is societally valued, but in a framework of moderation- sex workers are seen as wildly out of moderation and are often ascribed qualities of an excessive libido by virtue of their line of work.
Sex workers are prohibited from entering most temples and participating in many public rites, justified in their ‘polluted’ status, under the assumption that it will de-purify the place and sully most rites. This serves to keep them isolated from key facets of social life and culture, and can leave many spiritually ostracized (most sex workers from within this cultural sphere are also going to believe in notions that they are spiritually polluted, with limited outlets to cleanse themselves).
There is one folk tradition that has developed to assuage some of these fears and the sense of isolation- an epithet to the Face Ganmache that translates literally to 'Mother of Whores' (a rather strong name that reclaims degrading slang in the original language as well), which watches over sex workers and their labors. This is wholly a folk tradition and not part of core dogma, and priests are self-appointed, mostly elderly former sex workers. They provide rites of purification and blessings for those denied access to temples, sometimes train themselves as midwives to assist in births (or abortions), and will help ensure deceased workers get proper funeral rites.
Generally, the concept of something being spiritually polluted translates to full avoidance of the person/place/thing involved, but these concerns are rarely applied to the Hiring of sex workers (ie they are spiritually polluted and highly impure and shouldn't enter temples but you, the client, are not affected by contact). While some people will try to provide logical explanations for why hiring a sex worker is not polluting, this does not have any true underlying logic and is a product of a society that both reviles sex workers and desires their labor.
They are generally expected to visually identify themselves as sex workers at all times- the exact details vary by city-state, but wearing hair unbraided and an uncovered head in public is most common (particularly in the west of the region).
Male sex workers are denied certain rights otherwise available by default to men (self-legal representation, ability to own land that is not gifted, etc). Female sex workers do not have these rights to begin with, and have even more difficulty than other women in finding legal representation, given that they situationally rarely have fathers/husbands/male family members willing to support them.
Because of their inability to represent themselves in court and the difficulty in finding representation, they often have little to no recourse against abuse or violations of their contracts. There are some lawyers who specialize in representing sex workers (fewer still who do this entirely out of benevolence for a vulnerable social class), but they are few and far between.
The majority of sex work is marketed towards male clients, and the majority of sex workers are women. Male sex workers are mostly young men who serve male clients, and will usually keep themselves beardless and not overtly masculine (while not distinctly effeminate either) to remain desirable targets for the sexual outlet of most men. (There is no concept of sexuality in this culture- if you are a man, you are a penetrative partner in sex and the gender of the receiving partner is of little concern. Younger men beneath you in social stature (in practice, these are almost always sex workers) are considered appropriate targets of male desire, and as such you have some men who would be considered heterosexual by contemporary standards having sex with other men). Male workers who primarily serve female clients tend to vary more in age and have less social restrictions on their appearance or masculine presentation.
Eunuch sex workers usually serve male clients, and are regarded as appropriate targets of male attraction regardless of their age (largely as they are seen as entirely incapable of performing penetrative roles, and conceptualized as de-gendered). Akoshos (those designated male who perform women's gender roles) sex workers are seen as uniquely predisposed to serve both male and female clients, as their gendered space is broadly conceptualized as dual-gendered (being physically capable of performing 'male' penetrative roles while living under women's social roles)
Hiring of sex workers is not considered infidelity and is entirely permissible to do while married, though women are often heavily discouraged from doing so (largely out of concerns of pregnancy, partly out of patriarchal control over women's sexual behavior). A woman who pays for sex work receives more scrutiny than is applied to men. It is not outright inappropriate, but can be considered indicative of an excessive libido or overmasculinization. Women are imagined as having naturally lower libidos than men, so behaviors that challenge this notion tend to be be noted.
The only circumstances in which hiring sex workers as a man attracts scrutiny is when it is deemed excessive, symptomatic of an uncontrolled libido. Men who hire male sex workers closer to their age and/or bearded will also attract scrutiny- while not outright Condemned, it's suspiciously out of the acceptable range for male desire (though will most often similarly be interpreted as an excessive, uncontrolled libido, ie you'll just fuck anything with a hole). Receiving penetration from a sex worker as a man is wholly condemned, as is seen as UNIQUELY violating, not only a severe deviance from male social roles, but at the hands of a stigmatized, polluted figure that is at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. This usually happens in secret and often involves paying the worker off for their silence.
The one major exception to stigma against sex workers is in the lemna courtesan tradition. Lemna are mostly unmarried women and/or akoshos who are very skilled trained performers who work as entertainers for wealthy clients. Their services are not sexual in nature, rather they sing, dance, act, play music, and recite poetry, and are skilled conversationalists that provide company for clients. Lemna usually operate out of elite brothels, but as separate services to the sex workers, and are in theory never available for sex work. Lemna providing sex work sometimes (though not frequently) occurs in practice, but it is always be presented as something they have not been Paid to do- their payment was for entertainment, and they will present it as a (almost always purely fantastical) situation that they have grown attracted to their client and are engaging in a romantic tryst.
Lemna courtesanship is long-established and a valued part of this culture's art and theater traditions, and they do not face the same stigma as sex workers, rather being seen as an elite class of performers. They do not exactly have a High place in society either (as unmarried civilian women and/or akoshos, they are notably lacking in social power), but the regard towards them is overall positive. The exemption to this stigma partially lies within the framework of body taboo (they do not explicitly 'sell' their bodies or directly engage in sex work), but is largely rooted in the esteem of their tradition rather than any coherent logic.
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Sex work has a much less significant, less complicated, and less intensely stigmatized place in the highlands, mostly due to its reduced presence. Most people are living in relatively small agricultural villages, or transiently as herders, so there are fewer opportunities for sex workers to operate on regular and official levels. The only places you can reliably find sex workers within the highlands are in small quasi-towns that crop up around land trade routes, or occasionally as traveling traders (usually offering material goods in addition to sex work services).
There’s also no intra-highlands currency system, so sex workers will usually be paid in goods, which in turn influences the cultural lens on sex work. Goods have direct, immediate utilitarian value that currency does not, and paying goods for service is most pragmatically done as a means of material practicality- forming alliances, acquiring farmhands, receiving the defensive or offensive service of warriors, etc, not for temporary gratification.
The fact that this cultural sphere is fairly egalitarian in terms of gender (though it has strongly enforced, separate gender roles for married men and women) also contributes to the comparative lack of stigma- part of the Imperial Wardi stigma against sex work is interwoven with misogyny (with women sex workers being the most degraded extent of femininity, and male sex workers taking on inappropriate, degraded feminine roles in providing sexual services). Women have equal overall societal power to men in the Hill Tribes cultural sphere, and things associated with femininity are not Themselves degrading (men seen as feminine are not shamed for femininity itself, rather in their specific failure to perform male gender roles- the distinction can be subtle but is very significant to how gender roles are approached).
Casual sex between unmarried men and women is fully accepted, somewhat seen as a hallmark of youth. However, married couples are expected to remain exclusively faithful to one another. This also goes a ways to discourage hiring of sex workers, which would be accepted grounds for a divorce and a mark of shame on the person who strayed.
While not excessively stigmatized, the views on sex work here is nowhere near Enlightened And Supportive either, it’s still seen as a highly degrading, unfortunate line of work. Sex workers are usually going to be unmarried women of marriageable age who could not (or would not) acquire a husband for one reason or another. They are women who failed in expected roles of marriage and becoming the manager of a family’s home and property, and have not even taken an esteemed, productive role for spinsters (usually physical labor in herding, farming, raiding) in favor of one that is considered ‘selling’ one’s body to provide useless, base services to desperate men. It's something that will usually be looked at as sad and unfortunate at best, or an absurd dereliction of duty at worst.
Male sex workers are virtually unheard of (within the highlands at least, there's cultural stereotypes of Wardi men being effeminate and predisposed to sex with men, so of course THEY'VE got male sex workers all over the fucking place), and the concept of a man operating as a sex worker would just seem absurd to most.
But the levels of social shame surrounding sex work are actually higher for the client in this cultural context- it’s suggestive that you either cannot afford to get a wife/do not have the requisite masculine skillset to be a husband, or otherwise that you’re so utterly incapable of getting laid that you have to go to great effort and barter for sex, a petty expense of valuable goods. It's both a foolish waste and in many ways a failure of expected male gender roles. Most men who hire the services of sex workers will keep it on the down low, or (if living near the borders) commute to Wardi towns or tradeways for access. It’s seen as an act of desperation, foolish, emasculating, and will generally be mocked and shamed.
I actually have a framework of a folktale that kind of demonstrates the cultural lens pre-established (no names for the characters or clans involved, it's supposed to be of the far northern Bict-Braíghnnas tribe). I'll put it under the cut:
One of the folktales describes a young woman who was strikingly beautiful and exceedingly clever. She was of the Bict-Braíghnnas, the lone daughter of a very small, very poor clan, consisting only of her immediate family and a few cousins. Her father had died young, and her younger brothers and cousins were malnourished and inexperienced, and could do little to protect or grow their meager herd of horses (they certainly could not afford cattle). She had to take on the role of the provider for herself and remained unmarried long past marriageable age, living day by day doing whatever she could to scrape by and keep her family afloat.
She became aware that the patriarch of her ruling clan had an eye for her, and he began approaching her in hopes of soliciting sex. At first, she always brushed him off. She found him repulsive, as he was foolish and greedy and rather ugly. But she started to see an opportunity in all this. It was a humiliating opportunity, but one she was willing to take.
The next time he approached, she pretended to consider his advances, but only if he should provide payment in turn- if she was as beautiful as he kept saying, and he was as wealthy as he kept bragging, wouldn't it be worth the price? He first offered her a sack of barley, but she laughed him off. He then offered her fine clothes, but she feigned insult, was she not already beautiful even in poor, worn rags? He then offered her a breeding pair of pheasants, and she pushed aside her shawl to expose her breasts, and sweetly asked if he Really could not do better, wealthy in cattle as he was. The man was now, quite clearly, hard in his trousers.
He finally relented to an obscene payment- he would go under his wife (the owner of his cattle)'s nose and give her an adult cow, in payment for having sex with him just once. This is a high price to pay, but she was gorgeous and he was rich in cattle and could afford to lose one (or two. or five. Maybe more.). She accepted his offer and had sex with him, and came away with her very first cow.
(Some tellings of this story go on a tangent here where she sneaks the cow right back into the man's fields under cover of darkness, to breed it with one of his bulls and begin forming her own herd)
Over the next several months, he started regularly approaching her for sex in exchange for cattle, until he had to start coming up with explanations to his wife as to where the missing cattle had gone- he first claimed they were given as gifts, then that some were stolen, inventing wild stories of great raids and declaring open conflict with the greatest rival to his clan, all as means of masking his dalliances. This skirmishing came at great cost to his own clan, but he was too foolish and weak-willed to stop.
The woman was meanwhile using her newfound and growing wealth in cattle to make connections and political moves, slowly establishing herself as a powerful figure and having many in her debt. Her brothers and cousins, finally well fed, grew tall and healthy and began to take on roles as herders, protectors, and raiders, with the assistance of more young men gained in alliance. All the while, she dutifully continued her paid trysts with the patriarch whenever he summoned her.
Eventually, the man had given her so many cattle (which had been bred in the meantime, and more had been acquired in trade and raids) that she had three times as many as he did. One day, she did not appear as expected. She had amassed great wealth for herself and her clan, and had been courting the unwed son of the patriarch’s rival clan. The son paid a hefty bride price for her, and they were wed on that day.
Now the wealthiest in cattle and the most powerful clan in the valley, the woman and her new husband ousted the weakened and disgraced former patriarch, becoming the new ruling clan of the Bict-Braíghnnas. The couple were wise and wealthy rulers, and their clan remains in power and rich in cattle to this day.
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The cultural outlook on sex work (among other things) is fairly well encapsulated here- the sex work itself is degrading, but this fits into common motifs of this cultural sphere’s folktales where the hero figure overcomes difficult and often degrading situations with wit and social skill, and ultimately rises above it. Note that as a (non-comedic) hero of this tale, she uses her sex work very intentionally and pragmatically for material gain and alongside many other measures to increase her standing. Also note that, when unmarried, she's specified as taking up practical labor roles, and ultimately acquires a husband and ends the story in the expected position as a wife.
The actions of the man who hired her are distinctly shameful. He is performing his role as a husband TERRIBLY- being unfaithful, completely mismanaging his wife’s herds and ultimately driving his clan out of power all in pursuit of petty lust. He is in part an exaggerated, cartoonish embodiment of the cultural perception of the clients of sex workers- desperate, foolishly lustful, and an overall failure as a man. Most hearing this story would find his role highly comedic, a powerful but stupid foe for the clever and pragmatic hero to overcome.
(Very minor side note: the detail of him being enthralled by her breasts is also meant to be comedic- breasts are not sexualized in this culture (women's hips/thighs/buttocks are what is typically seen as sexually attractive), and many women will be out topless on hot days without note being made of it (toplessness is culturally acceptable, exposing genitalia/buttocks is not). The notion of a man being out of his mind horny over the sight of a bare tit would register to listeners as excessively lustful in a humorous capacity)
While the focus of the story is ultimately more on the contrast of thrifty and foolish behaviors, it also functions as a discouragement of hiring sex workers, casting the loss of assets in trade for sex as a similarly foolish venture, degrading to the worker and humiliating to the client.
#VERY long post. Enjoy#The only main characters who have hired sex workers are Janeys and Brakul#Janeys exclusively goes for 'appropriate' targets (mostly being women or young beardless men). Which he is not actually attracted to.#And is a fucking terrible rude as shit client with his only redeeming quality being that he pays VERY well (largely with the#implication of keeping quiet about whatever he inevitably did to embarrass himself)#Brakul only does it occasionally and on the downlow and goes for people he actually IS attracted to (men closer to his age- which#generally will be workers who normally serve female clients). He is VERY ashamed that he does it to begin with but is at least#polite and businesslike about it. He fucks off the second its over. Sometimes he's like 'actually never mind' and pays and leaves#midway through. Literally just pulls out and sets down some money and dips. They'll never see him again.#Palo has never hired a sex worker but has kind of a unique relationship with the community. Growing up in a mercantile family#in a district with a lot of brothels- sex workers were kind of just part of the community. He still ascribes to most cultural beliefs#surrounding sex work and isn't like Enlightened about it but is much more inclined to treat sex workers like peers and with a degree#of respect normally afforded to any stranger.#One of the akoshos in his community (that he spent his childhood fascinated with) was a priestess to the Mother of Whores and a#genuinely kind (though VERY stern) old woman. Had a very cold hard gaze and rugged look and he was kind of scared of her#but one time when he was 12 he got bitten by a street dog and she gave him a blessing then and there so he wouldn't have to walk#all the way to a temple. Their blessings are not considered legit under standard practice (given they are not considered a legitimate#priesthood) but he felt a lot better afterwords.
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I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#ITS JUST NOT THE SAME MAN#idk i was reading nightwing must die (again...) bc i was in a funk and saw another post saying how fans exaggerate the closeness btwn them#and on the one hand i get it. there is a very rosy portrayal of their relationship you'll come across in fanon#and they weren't very close at the beginning of their relationship#but man. reading Nightwing must die again was like#YES they fight. damian instigates it and while dick tries to exercise patience he does fight back/lash out on occasion#but despite all that it's still emphasized how important the two are to each other#when dick is forced to picture a future where he's lost his way he pictures damian being the one to bring him back#not necessarily bc damian is his favorite person on the planet but bc he gave damian robin. for a lot of practical reasons-#-but also bc how far damians come is (i think at least based on this arc) a testament to dick that hes doing Something right#both as a hero/person#damian is more than just a burden saddled on him (although there's an element of that in their batman and robin run)#he's also a last remaining connection to bruce when he's gone (remembering where he comes from) AND he's training damian+#-his own way! with a dash of tough love and workaholic spirit inherited but also a lot of patience and focus on being More than the darkness#idc what ppl say nightwing must die makes sense for these two. its a retcon but one that works imo#that dick buried his head in the sand about how much damian meant/the responsibility he had to him bc it was a commitment he was afraid of#and how damian ultimately was a point of maturation for dick even if he went back to being Nightwing#they were SO goddamn close and now they're still close but only in ways that are implied#and their bond is deemphasized in comparison to each others bond w/ say bruce. which i think is a shame#it was a wrinkle! a fun wrinkle that the batfamily had that in some ways dick understood damian better than Bruce-#-even if he didn't feel like he could handle the responsibility of raising him full time#it kills me that bc of the n52 we never got the handover of the batman mantle (and damian) from dick to bruce#next nightwing writer...include a flashback to that moment AND have damian appear in the book in present....AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!#anyway. dick is damians brother but also damian a little bit imprinted on him like a baby duck and its rubbed off on dick#they're partners they're mentor mentee but most importantly they were batman and robin. and they were the greatest#NOT bc it was all peaches and roses but bc they cared for each other exponentially despite all that
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