#or is that just me …. like I could understand a lot of shit as a kid lmao
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xgremlinxx · 13 hours ago
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I was literally thinking about this, like nobody from my past is worth being sad about...I was always the one that did or fronted everything, and it still wasn't enough. Hey, i'm not mad, i'm glad they showed their true colors to me.
A lot of them can't tell me that they had better than me, they settled for losers, drug addicts, and selfish bozos. Hey i'm not the greatest but I saw what they went for after me, don't ever tell me I didn't love or try with my whole heart, I saw how you settled for less because of your delusions. But tell me, why should I care when you didn't? lol Such a funny thing. I simply can't be arsed anymore.
yes, nobody is worth being sad about over losing them for me personally except for my parents, sponsoring my old ass letting me squat. I'll love them to the ends of the universe and back.
and nah i dga single fuck about being independent right now...My parents are great, sorry I didn't have fuck ass parents like ya'll. My states economy is dog shit, people making minimum wage to pay for fast food meals. Shit is burning down, inflation is too high. Rents too high, groceries too high, lol I dated a woman that had it so rough they need to sell their pussy...and you know what, I would totally sell dick if it was socially acceptable and celebrated like it is to sell pussy in the year of our lord 2025. LOL If it was in demand, but I wasn't born with a pussy, and lets be honest, thank g0d for that! Ya'll women in the west are beyond cooked, but I get it...Don't agree with it, but I understand.
I'm just being facetious. I could never sell my soul like that. There is literally nothing left in people like that, and it's so sad to see up close, so much sadder than just hearing about it.
Im finna work and stack until things improve. There is no rush. There is still time (famous last words). I'd like to fill the gaps of my character with substance, part of my problem is being too hollow at times, I am not me without passion. I see now safeguarding my vision & protecting peace comes b4 all.
People that carry years long attachments for people that were not good for them, broke up with them ( 5 years ago +) or did them wrong is the most cringe shit ever, quite frankly I'm not trying to be like ya'll.
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i-dared-myself · 3 days ago
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Skirt War
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Requested by anonymous: Could I req a fic with the stray kids' ninth member being put in a short dress/skirt (you know those that don't look like it'll ride up if you move but it does and its annoying af??) for a performance with a dance dance - that she has to move around a lot and then she keeps trying to pull the skirt down but that piece of shit just keeps going back up. And she spends the whole performance playing tug of war with a bunch of fabric trying not to be indecent and humiliated. And backstage she feels shit bc she couldn’t dance well and looked pathetic and she's disappointed and frustrated and embarrassed and yk. Idk if this is understandable anymore
“Wow, Felix,” you say, “you look really good! The stylists worked really hard with this new set of outfits.”
Felix hums his agreement, adjusting his gloves. “Where’s yours?”
You glance down at yourself. You’re still in your normal clothes. “Ah, they haven’t called me back yet. I think they’re finishing with Seungmin now.”
Felix makes a small sound of understanding, reaching up to touch his hair. He stops himself and drags his hand back down to his side. “Should I dye my hair soon?”
You shrug. “Do you want to? Is your hair even alive at this point?”
You hear someone softly call your name, and turn before you head Felix’s response. A staff member is waving you over as Seungmin and Jisung walk by.
“Looking good,” you compliment them, smiling brightly. You’re excited for what you’ll be wearing for the performance.
So you’re handed the set of clothes that you change into. You don’t even get a chance to look at yourself in a mirror before you’re whisked away for makeup and hair.
You eventually step out, joining the others. It seems as if everyone else has finished with their own styling, and everyone looks great.
There’s one tiny little problem, though.
Your tiny little skirt.
Your shirt is amazing, and you can’t disagree with the fact that you look hot in it. But the skirt is as small as they get. You’re amazed that you’re even allowed to wear it.
You’re fairly certain it’ll stay in place during thr performance, but you really don’t want to take chances. So you do an experimental twirl, heart sinking when the skirt instantly flies up.
Hyunjin recoils when he sees you. “What the-“
“Watch it!” Chan warns, narrowing his eyes. He faces you, eyes widening. “Oh. Oh boy.”
You tug the material down, fiddling with it anxiously. “Is it that bad?”
Jeongin is averting his eyes, which does absolutely nothing to make you feel better. “Nope. It’s totally fine.”
“Did they ask you about this?” Minho frowns deeply, glancing out at the crowd between the curtains. The sound check is almost complete, so you’re running out of time to deal with this.
“No. I wasn’t aware that I’d be wearing this.” Your hands tremble. You feel sick with how short it is. You half believe you’re at risk of your most intimate areas just being on display.
Seungmin grunts a little. “Want my sweater? To tie around your waist?”
You consider it for a moment before shaking your head. “Maybe later. I don’t want it to look like I’m disrespecting the stylists.”
“But it’s fine!” Jisung assures you. “These aren’t our usual stylists, and they don’t know our boundaries.”
“But we also don’t want to start something with this event,” you point out. They stylists had come with the gig, and you didn’t want to disrespect them if you didn’t usually work with them. It might ruin any other opportunities.
“Positions, everyone,” Chan suddenly says. He gives you a pitying look as everyone files into their assigned places. “You’ve got this.”
You’re not as confident as he is, but you force a smile. You tug the skirt down one last time before bounding out onto stage.
The music starts up and you begin to dance. Every movement that involves legs (pretty much all of them) has the skirt flipping up. Felix is behind you for the beginning, and when you catch a glance of his face it’s bright red.
You miss a hand gesture because you’re adjusting the fabric again, and your stomach tumbles. The media is going to have a field day with this. Everyone is going to be talking about how unprofessional you are.
Positions are swapped, and then you’re next to Changbin. He turns his gaze away to be respectful, but it just reinforces the idea in your head that the outfit is bad. That you’re indecent.
You blink back tears as you stumble over yet another move, too busy holding the skirt down to make it to the next spot in time. You’re falling behind, mind focused on your decency and not the dance.
Then your lines come, and your voice cracks. You’re lucky enough that you don’t have to hold your microphone up, because you honestly don’t have a spare hand.
It comes to an end, and you all bow. You walk off stage, perhaps the most humiliated that you’ve ever been.
Changbin loops his arms around you, tying his sweater around your waist. You mutter your thanks and wrench your headset off. 
“Hey.” Chan gently grabs your arm and steers you back to the group. “Let’s talk about it.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You keep your head ducked, gaze locked on the floor. Your throat burns and you’re struggling not to cry.
Jeongin comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder. “I think you did great.”
You shove him away. “Well I didn’t! I sucked because of this stupid skirt! I let it get in my head, and now everyone’s going to be talking about it!”
Minho sits on the ground and takes your hands in his. He gently pulls you down to his lap and lets your cry against his chest. “Yeah, it wasn’t your greatest performance.”
“How is that supposed to help?” Jisung hisses out.
“But Stay loves you no matter what. And if they don’t, they can go suck it.” Minho strokes your hair. 
Chan clears his throat. “I might not have said it in those exact words, but he’s right. And from now on, I’ll make it clear to our managers and staff about our boundaries. Including those that we work with for the first time.”
You hiccup between tears, burying your face further against Minho. “Really?”
Chan hums. “Absolutely. And we have time to change before our next song, so why don’t you go to the stylists again?”
You sniffle and push yourself out of Minho’s grip. Seungmin gives you a reassuring smile as you wander off.
“Excuse me?” you hesitantly say as you approach one of the stylists. “Would it be okay if I got a different skirt? Or maybe some pants?”
He tilts his head, nose wrinkling. “Why? Is there a problem with it?”
“Uh, it’s just that-“ You toy with the material as you try and find the correct words. You don’t want to insult the man. “Dancing in this is very difficult. I don’t feel comfortable in this.”
He smiles mockingly. “Oh, really? Well it’s fine. It’s not even that short.”
“I just danced in it and it didn’t go that well.” You’re aware that you’re running out of time. You need to hurry up. “Can you please just direct me to-“
“Have you considered that maybe it’s just your skill?” he interrupts. He sighs and shakes his head, turning away. “But fine. I could find something else.”
You swallow thickly as you follow him.
Is it actually your own fault? Are you just not a talented enough dancer for these clothes? 
“Is this good enough for you?” The stylist holds up a new set of bottoms, and you wince. It’s even smaller than the one you’re currently wearing.
“Ready yet?” Jisung comes sliding in, eyes widening at the skirt being held up. “Wow, that’s small.”
“Uh, almost,” you weakly tell him.
Jisung’s eyes catch on your face and trembling bottom lip. His arms shoot out to wrap around you, and he pats your back. “It’s okay!”
“Are you wearing this or not?” the stylist snaps. 
“No, she’s not.” Jisung tightens Changbin’s sweater on your waist. “She’s wearing this and we have to go now, since we’re on in less than a minute. But I’ll be telling Bang Chan about you.”
The man pales. Having an idol complain about you was pretty much a death sentence, especially when that idol had as much influence as Stray Kids.
Jisung grabs your hand you the two of you dash out onto stage. You burst out and join the rest of the members, just in time for the music to begin.
This time it goes smoother. The sweater gives enough weight to keep the skirt down, and you’re able to focus on the dance. Your movements are fluid and well-executed, and you know even Hyunjin would be proud.
When you go backstage, you feel mildly more confident. You take a swig of your water bottle as Jisung tells Chan about the stylist.
Jeongin huffs, overhearing the conversation. “What an asshole.”
Seungmin hums his agreement. “A real dick.”
Chan holds up his hands. “Let’s watch the language, everyone. We’re professionals at work.”
Changbin snorts. “Right. If he’s a professional, why did he basically humiliate her?”
Felix hooks an arm over your shoulder. “It’s okay, I bet Minho will screw up soon and everyone will forget about today.”
Minho makes a sound of protest, narrowing his eyes. “Why me?”
Hyunjin wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Relax, it’s just an example.”
Chan calls the stylist over, who appears vaguely nauseated as he steps closer. He bows briefly to Chan before his eyes flick to you for a fraction of a second.
“I heard you had a bit of an issue with one of my members?” Chan blandly asks. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry. “Were you the one who put her in that skirt? Were you planning for her to humiliate herself and get kicked out of the industry?”
“Yeah!” Jisung cries out. He’s immediately silenced by Minho.
“S-Sorry,” the man mutters. “I just- I’m sorry.”
“No, no, continue.” Chan arches an eyebrow challengingly. “You just what?”
“Bet he just wanted to see her in it,” Seungmin drawls. “Is that it?”
A bead of sweat rolls down the stylist’s forehead. “Well- It wasn’t that short!”
“Would you feel comfortable wearing it?” Felix chimes in. “Because I thought it was pretty short.”
“Guys,” you say. “Let’s just go home. I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Poor thing.” Hyunjin pats your head. “Wanna eat a whole bunch of ice cream with me?”
“Maybe,” you slyly say, walking with him to the van. You ignore the sounds of Chan still scolding the man. 
“If you ever need my sweater again, just ask.” Changbin comes up from behind you to poke at the fabric of the borrowed clothes. 
“Are we just stealing these?” Jeongin questions once everyone is in the van. Everyone is also still in the performance clothing. 
Chan frowns. “Oops.”
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@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret
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sidekick-hero · 3 days ago
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Sing Me A Love Song
rating: t | cw: off-screen domestic violence | wc: 5.6 k | tags: fluff, modern au, love songs, first love, bartender Steve and Eddie, platonic hellcheer, Jason Carver being an asshole as usual, hurt!Chrissy (off-screen)
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My fill for the @steddielovemonth Day 1. Prompts: 🎵 You and Me - Lifehouse and ❣️"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." - Plato
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"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." - Plato
“You don’t understand,” Eddie groans, raking a hand through his curls. “If I don’t get this done, I might lose my contract.”
Chrissy doesn’t look impressed. She wipes down the counter in front of him, barely sparing him a glance. “I still think you’re being dramatic. You already have, what, ten songs? Isn’t that enough for an album?”
God, he wishes she were right. She should be right. Ten songs isn’t a lot, but it’s enough. Maybe he could throw in a cover, remaster one of his old tracks, stretch it to eleven. A solid number. A prime number, even—Jesus, he really needs to stop talking to Jeff.
But none of that matters. Because the problem isn’t the number.
The problem is the clause in his contract that requires one of those songs to be a love song.
Why did he agree to that? Oh, right. Desperation.
He needed the deal. Needed the money. Because Wayne’s life depends on it. And if Eddie can’t pay for his treatment, his uncle—the one person who’s always been there for him—will die.
So, yeah. It was either this record deal or selling a kidney in Tijuana.
“It’s not enough, Chris. I need one more song. And it’s like—” He exhales sharply, gripping his hair. “It’s like I’ve never written music before. My head’s empty, my hands are clumsier than a toddler’s, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t fail. I just can’t.”
That finally makes Chrissy pause. She sets down the rag, brows drawing together as her bright blue eyes search his face. “Eddie… this doesn’t sound like it’s just about an album.”
The bar is empty. No one’s here to overhear when he finally breaks.
Wayne’s diagnosis. The impossible cost of his treatment. The record label that dropped him like a bad habit the second he was outed—one stupid drunken mistake and suddenly, he was toxic. The desperate, humiliating scramble to find a new label, the rejection after rejection until he finally landed in Chicago, closer to Wayne, signing this contract.
Signing that clause.
Chrissy listens without interrupting, her hands folded over his. When he’s done, she exhales.
“A love song? Why would they insist on a love song?”
Eddie shrugs. “Something about bad boys with a secret soft side pulling in fans.”
She snorts. Loudly.
“Oi!”
“Eddie, sweetie.” Her grin is infuriating. “When I first met you during our shift, I thought you’d be mean and scary. But the moment you tried to slide over the bar and ate shit instead? Yeah. I knew you were just a giant dork.”
It’s impossible to fight off the answering grin tugging at his lips.
“I should be offended, but you’re not wrong. Just don’t tell anyone, okay? I have a reputation to uphold.”
Chrissy hops onto the bar, swinging her legs as she leans in to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Then, more gently, “Look, don’t overthink it. Just write about the first guy you fell in love with. First love’s always a hit.”
Yeah. If only it were that simple.
“Great idea. Know any guys willing to fill that spot?”
Chrissy blinks. “Wha—” She stops, eyes narrowing as she really looks at him. “Wait. Are you— Is this your way of telling me you’ve never been in love?”
Eddie gives her finger guns. “Ding, ding, ding! The pretty young lady wins the jackpot.”
She just stares at him. Eddie braces himself, expecting pity, but all he finds in her eyes is warmth. Understanding.
Chrissy exhales. “Well. Shit.”
“Yeah. Shit.”
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Bartending wasn’t exactly the glamorous, fame-laden career Eddie had dreamed of. But it was something he was surprisingly good at—always had been. Even back in high school, when he worked at the local dive bar just to buy himself and his band a weekly gig.
More importantly, though, it paid the bills.
Most of the first half of his record deal advance had gone straight to Wayne’s medical expenses. A small chunk covered recording costs, but food and rent were a whole different story. Maybe, if he actually delivers this album, the rest of the money will be enough to buy himself a place. But that’s a big if.
So, for now, bartending it is. It keeps a roof over his head, food in his fridge, and—maybe the best part—it gave him his first real friend in this city: Chrissy.
She keeps him sane on the bad days, when the anxiety sinks its teeth into him and won’t let go. And when he told her the embarrassing truth about his love life—or complete lack thereof—she had been nothing but kind. She offered tips, boosted his ego with her sheer bewilderment that someone like him had never been in love, and insisted it was only a matter of time.
Eddie isn’t so sure.
Most of his time is spent combing through Wayne’s medical reports or checking in with his nurse. He calls every day. Visits three times a week, taking the long trip back to rural Indiana to be with the only real father figure he’s ever had.
His nights—except Tuesdays and Wednesdays—are spent at the bar. Sure, plenty of the regulars are hot, and a few of them are actually nice, but Eddie isn’t naïve. He doesn’t expect to show up to work one day and suddenly have the man of his dreams stroll right up to him and say—
“Hello? Are you Eddie, by any chance?”
Eddie looks up from where he’s been taking stock of the liquor and locks eyes with the most ridiculously gorgeous pair of hazel eyes he’s ever seen.
It’s like grabbing a live wire. A jolt of electricity races through him, buzzing under his skin, making his heart slam against his ribs and his stomach do an actual, literal flip.
What the fuck is happening?
“I—uhm, yeah, that’s Eddie. Me. I mean—me is Eddie. Goddammit.” He squeezes his eyes shut for half a second, mentally kicking himself. “I’m Eddie. That’s right. How can I help you?”
The guy in front of him looks like he’s this close to laughing, biting down on a full bottom lip, hazel eyes twinkling with amusement. But he holds back, tilting his head slightly before offering a warm, easy smile.
“I’m Steve. Steve Harrington? Chrissy said she’d give you a call—told you I’d be covering for her for the next six weeks.”
She had done no such thing. Eddie would remember if she had.
Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t heard from her all day. Not that they text constantly, but there’s always something—a meme, a random thought, a conversation that drags out over days. It’s Thursday now, and the last time they talked was Tuesday night, when she asked about Wayne.
His stomach twists.
“From the look on your face, she hasn’t done that.”
Eddie exhales. “Uh, no. No, she hasn’t. What happened? Why does she need someone to cover for her?”
Six weeks. That sounds serious. That sounds… bad.
Steve’s expression softens, but his voice is firm. “It’s not my place to say, I’m afraid.”
That just makes Eddie’s anxiety spike. He should appreciate that Steve is protecting Chrissy’s privacy—normally, he would—but right now, it’s just frustrating. Besides, Chrissy has never mentioned a Steve before. And he tells the guy as much.
Steve nods like he expected that. “She’s a friend of my best friend and roommate, Robin. That’s how we met. She asked me to help out, and that’s all I can tell you, man. I’m sorry.”
He does sound sorry. And Eddie does care about Chrissy, which means he needs to talk to her, not interrogate some guy she apparently trusts enough to take her place.
Steve must read something in his face because he adds, “If you want to call her, I can handle things here. Just tell me what to do.”
It sounds more like a question than an offer, like Steve isn’t sure where he stands and doesn’t want to overstep. Eddie has always had a problem with authority, with people telling him what to do. Steve doesn’t know that, but it still rubs him the wrong way for half a second—until he realizes Steve isn’t telling him anything. He’s offering.
Eddie hesitates for a beat, then exhales sharply and nods. "Yeah, okay. Thanks. Just start by restocking the bar—I’ll show you how to place an order for liquor and supplies when I get back."
Right now, he needs to hear Chrissy’s voice. Needs to know she’s okay. Everything else can wait.
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Turns out that Chrissy’s asshole of a boyfriend—ex-boyfriend now, thank fuck—had grabbed her so hard during a fight that he broke her wrist. The only good thing about it was that it had finally been the last straw for Chrissy. She kicked his sorry ass to the curb.
Eddie had hated Jason from the second he walked into the bar, all possessive grip and territorial bullshit. Throw in the holier-than-thou attitude, the obsession with “purity” and Christian values, and the way he sneered at Eddie the moment Chrissy’s back was turned? Yeah. He saw this coming from a mile away.
They talk for a few minutes, and Eddie promises to stop by her place tomorrow. He’ll bring ice cream, they’ll watch some cheesy rom-com, and he’ll do whatever it takes to cheer her up.
When he walks back into the bar, his face must be as thunderous as he feels because Steve actually winces.
“She told you what happened, huh?”
Eddie nods, grinding his teeth. “Fucking asshole. I wish I’d run him over with my van when I had the chance.”
Steve doesn’t even blink. “Amen to that. Robin’s already plotting his demise. You two should team up. I volunteered to get rid of the body, because Robin’s not exactly… athletic. Can’t dig deep holes, can’t lift heavy stuff. But she’s scary smart—probably knows some undetectable poison or something. What’s your specialty?”
Eddie hates what happened to Chrissy. Hates that she had to go through it. But hearing Steve talk like this, hearing how much her friends care? It makes him feel a little better. And the fact that he’s apparently included in this unhinged murder plot now? Yeah.
Maybe he got lucky, after all.
“I’m creative and ridiculously good at planning—years of being a Dungeon Master. No one thinks of as many scenarios as I do. I’ll cover every possibility. They’ll never catch us.”
They grin at each other, and for the first time since hearing Chrissy’s small, shaken voice, Eddie feels like himself again.
Steve grins. “Perfect. We’ll make a great team.”
And just like that, the weight on Eddie’s chest lifts a little. It’s easy with Steve, like they’ve known each other longer than just—what, an hour? He’s funny, sharp, and clearly good to the people he cares about.
And, well. It doesn’t hurt that he’s stupidly attractive.
They slip into working together without much effort. Eddie shows Steve the ropes while stealing little glances when he thinks the other man isn’t looking—at the way his fingers move deftly around the bottles, the smooth way he leans against the bar when talking to customers, the stretch of his arms when he reaches for a glass on the top shelf.
He’s a natural. Charismatic as hell, too. More than one customer lingers just a little longer when Steve serves them, and Eddie is absolutely not annoyed by that. Nope. Not at all.
“You know,” Steve says at one point, when the rush has died down, “you’re not bad at this.”
Eddie scoffs, tossing a bar rag over his shoulder. “Not bad? Please. I’m great at this.”
Steve hums, eyes twinkling. “If you say so. I guess I’ll have to stick around to see for myself.”
There’s something in his voice, something that makes heat curl in Eddie’s stomach. A challenge. A tease. A promise, maybe.
Eddie leans in, close enough to catch a hint of cologne and something unmistakably Steve. "Yeah?” he murmurs, smirking. “Guess you will.”
The air crackles between them, heavy and charged, until a customer clears their throat and pulls them back to reality.
Eddie straightens, fighting back a grin as he goes to take the order.
He has a feeling working with Steve is going to be very interesting.
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Turns out he was right—working with Steve is definitely interesting. It’s also confusing and exhilarating. And, honestly? It’s driving him insane.
Steve is everything Eddie never knew he wanted or needed. None of the guys Eddie’s ever hooked up with or tried dating were even close to being like Steve. And maybe that had been his mistake all along.
Because Steve makes him feel things he didn’t even know he could feel. He catches himself daydreaming about kissing the moles on Steve’s neck and face, wondering what it would be like to run his fingers along the smooth line of his jaw. He catches himself thinking about what he could ask Steve next, wanting to learn more and more about him. Eddie wants to make him laugh, wants to tell Steve about his day, about the last book he read, ask him what he thinks of a certain song or movie.
It’s like every little moment with Steve only deepens the curiosity, the pull. And Eddie can’t seem to stop himself from wanting more.
And yet, he can’t bring himself to take it any further than the harmless flirting they’ve been doing. Steve never seems to mind Eddie’s over-the-top flirting—calling him pet names, throwing himself at his feet dramatically, draping himself over Steve and acting like personal space is a suggestion, not a boundary.
One night, after another intense moment between them, the air crackling with something Eddie can’t quite name, he comes home, sits down, and writes it all out. He lets all these feelings he doesn’t even really understand pour onto the page. Every thought, every feeling—the longing and wonder, the joy and insanity of liking someone, wanting someone so much it’s almost physical.
A few weeks ago, he would’ve been bouncing off the walls with excitement at having written his first love song.
Now? He has a hard time bringing himself to care, because all he wants is to tell Steve these things. To have the courage to look into those beloved hazel eyes and make Steve understand the depth of what Eddie feels for him.
Now, all Eddie wants is to take Steve home and never let him go.
That’s why he’s struggling to feel as joyous as he should when Chrissy tells him she’ll be back next week.
Eddie’s wiping down the bar when Steve steps up, leaning against it with a casual ease that makes Eddie’s heart skip, like it always does when Steve’s close.
“Hey,” Steve says, a little more softly than usual. “You heard from Chrissy?”
Eddie pauses, glancing up, not quite meeting Steve’s eyes. “Yeah. She’s coming back next week. Gonna be back at the bar on Monday.”
“Ah, that’s great,” Steve says with a smile, but there’s something in his tone that doesn’t quite match the words.
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “You don’t seem so excited.”
Steve shrugs, the movement casual but his gaze fixed on Eddie now. “I mean, I am. I’m glad she’s doing better. Just… I don’t know. Things’ve been good here, you know?”
Eddie’s pulse quickens, his mind racing. He knows exactly what Steve means. Things have been good. They’ve been intense—charged, even. And now, with Chrissy coming back, it feels like a door he’s been carefully edging toward might slam shut.
“Yeah, I get that,” Eddie says, trying to sound casual even though his throat feels tight. “It’s been… nice, having you here.”
Steve’s lips twitch into a smile, a little teasing. “Nice, huh? Just nice?”
Eddie meets his gaze then, the air between them thick with unspoken words. “Yeah. More than nice. I—” He cuts himself off, shaking his head. “Forget it.”
Steve doesn’t let it slide. His eyes narrow slightly, and he leans in, his voice lowering. “No, come on. What were you gonna say?”
Eddie hesitates, heart pounding. He wants to say so much, but the weight of it is too much. Instead, he grabs a glass, fills it with water, and hands it to Steve, forcing a smile. “Doesn’t matter.”
But Steve isn’t buying it. He takes the glass, but his eyes stay locked on Eddie. “It does matter. You matter, Eddie.”
There’s a long silence, and Eddie feels like he’s about to drown in it. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.
“Hey,” Steve says, his voice softer now, “don’t worry about it. I get it. Chrissy’s your friend.”
Eddie nods, but it doesn’t feel like he’s actually hearing him. He’s still stuck on the fact that the connection between them has shifted somehow. And now, Chrissy coming back just feels like the beginning of the end of whatever this is.
But all Steve does is give him that reassuring smile, and for a moment, it feels like maybe he’s not as worried about it as Eddie is. Maybe.
“I’m just glad you’re here,” Eddie murmurs, the words slipping out before he can stop them.
Steve’s expression softens. “Me too, man.”
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On Sunday, Eddie gets a visit from Chrissy. He’s just in his pajama bottoms, pouring himself a cup of coffee when the doorbell rings.
“Chris! What are you doing here?”
She steps into his flat, pressing a fleeting kiss to his cheek as she brushes past him. “I’m happy to see you, too.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just surprised to have you drop by like that. I’m always happy to see you, you know that.”
He follows her into the flat, where she’s already made herself at home at the kitchen island, pouring herself a cup as well.
“Yes, I know, I was just teasing you. I wanted to drop by to see how you’re doing.”
“You’ll see me tomorrow at work.” He tries to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but he probably doesn’t succeed. He really needs to work on his poker face.
Chrissy eyes him like she can see right through him, like maybe she’s already read his mind. Eddie knows better than to think she hasn’t. She’s sharp like that.
“Yeah, and something tells me you’re not doing so great because of that.”
That’s his girl—blunt and straight to the point. Eddie considers brushing it off, pretending he has no idea what she’s talking about, but he knows better. She deserves his honesty.
“No. I’m not really. Not because I don’t want you back,” he adds quickly, his eyes pleading with her to understand. “I missed you, Chris. Like crazy. You’re one of my best friends, and I’m so happy to have you back.”
She nods, her small hand curling over his in a comforting gesture. “But you don’t want Steve to go.”
“How—”
Her smile is soft and amused, like they’re in on some private joke together. “You’ve been talking about nothing but him for the past few weeks, Eds. I’ve never seen you take to anyone so fast. It took me months to get you to talk to me about anything but work. And you and Steve are sending each other memes and texts all day.”
Then, with a mischievous gleam in her eye, she adds, “Besides, you should see your face when you talk about him. I’m just waiting for you to start twirling your hair or kicking your feet.”
“Shut up! I’m not doing that.”
“Might as well be, with the way you’re acting. You like him.” She singsongs.
Burying his face in his hands, Eddie groans dramatically. “God, I hate you.”
Chrissy pulls his hands away, her fingers warm as she gently makes him look at her. Her face is a picture of seriousness, though a hint of a smile still lingers at the corner of her lips. “No, you don’t. You just know I’m right. I told you it was only a matter of time until you fell for someone. Tell me I’m wrong.”
Eddie glares at her, but there’s no real heat behind it. He stays quiet, his eyes darting around the room like he’s searching for an escape. When he doesn’t say anything, she raises her brows, giving him that ‘I knew it’ look. “See? Now you can write your love song!”
He mutters something under his breath, too low for her to hear.
“What was that?”
“I said... I already did,” Eddie says, a little sheepish, but trying to keep his cool. “It’s actually pretty good, I think. One of my best.”
Chrissy’s eyes light up, her voice bubbling with excitement. “Eddie, that’s awesome!”
Eddie shrugs, though his expression is far from pleased. “Yeah, but it’s not enough. He’s still leaving after tonight, and then... I’ll never see him again.”
Chrissy waves a hand like she’s brushing off a bad thought. “That’s such a load of crap, and you know it. We can totally visit him and Robin. I’ll invite them over! You’ll still get to hang out.”
Eddie sighs, leaning back in his chair. “Maybe, but it’s not the same. I won’t see him every day, won’t have an excuse to talk to him, flirt with him. We’ll just be... acquaintances.”
Chrissy taps her chin, looking like she’s piecing things together in that genius way of hers. “Okay, but... have you ever thought about just telling him?”
“Stop saying that like it’s easy,” Eddie demands. Okay, whines. He’s aware he’s acting like a petulant child instead of a grown-ass 26-year-old, but honestly? He doesn’t care. This shit sucks. No wonder he never bothered with it before—falling for someone is exhausting.
“It could be,” Chrissy says with that maddening calm of hers, like she’s solving a simple math problem instead of his entire emotional crisis.
Eddie glares. “Oh yeah? How do you figure?”
“Well,” she says, taking a casual sip of her coffee like she’s not about to drop a bombshell, “it’s not like Steve isn’t talking about you just as much.”
“He is?” Eddie all but shrieks, and Chrissy winces at the sheer volume. He claps a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, sorry. He is?” he repeats, softer this time, though he still sounds way too giddy to play it cool.
Chrissy just laughs at him. “Yes, Edward. Steve talks about you, too. Or so I heard from Robin. And the few times we talked, he asked me questions about you.”
Eddie’s heart picks up speed, slamming against his ribs like it’s trying to break free. That’s something, right?
“What did he ask?” he presses, leaning forward like Chrissy is holding onto state secrets rather than just casual conversation.
She taps her chin, pretending to think it over. “Oh, just normal stuff. How long I’ve known you, what you did before coming to Chicago… if you’re single.”
Eddie freezes. The butterflies in his stomach go feral.
But then—like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over his head—another thought creeps in.
“Then why didn’t he make a move?” he asks, deflating just as quickly as he puffed up.
Chrissy just raises an unimpressed brow. “Why didn’t you?”
Fair.
“Because I’ve never dated anyone before,” Eddie admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “Never felt like this for anyone before. I have no idea what I’m doing. I highly doubt Steve has been single all his life.”
Chrissy opens her mouth, then hesitates, like she’s conceding his point. Normally, Eddie loves to be right, but this time? He wants to be wrong. Wants Steve’s questions to mean something.
“I see your point, okay,” she finally says, then adds, “but maybe there’s something in Steve’s past that makes him cautious too. Ever think of that?”
Eddie frowns. “Like what?”
Chrissy’s face softens. “It’s not my place to say,” she says gently. “Let’s just say… love can hurt. And if you’ve been burned before, it makes you scared to touch the stove again.”
Eddie’s chest tightens, both at the thought of Steve getting hurt and at the way Chrissy’s voice dips—because she’s speaking from experience, too. Without thinking, he reaches for her, pulling her into a tight hug. Her head tucks neatly under his chin, her small frame warm against him.
“I’m sorry, Chris,” he murmurs. “You deserved better.”
She nods against his chest. “Yeah. And I’ll get over it. Just need some time. Just like Steve, probably. Maybe he’s not sure if he’s ready to let someone in again, you know?”
Eddie does know. Letting someone in after you've experienced the pain of losing someone, of mourning the presence someone once had in your life, it's scary as hell.
But maybe�� just maybe… it’s worth the risk.
“I think I have an idea,” he says, and really hopes he’ll be brave enough to follow through.
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Their last shift together goes by way too fast.
It’s weird. Like Eddie’s waiting for something to happen, anything. He doesn’t know what exactly—except that’s a lie. He does know.
He wants Steve to kiss him. Wants Steve to grab him, lift him onto the bar top, step between his legs, and cradle his face in those steady hands before finally—finally—giving him a first kiss that means something.
More than that, he wants Steve to tell him. That Eddie’s not crazy, not alone in this. That he feels it too—this maddening, electric pull that makes Eddie’s knees weak, makes his stomach flip, makes his heart hammer against his ribs like it’s trying to escape.
Steve does none of those things.
Instead, they pour drinks, chat with the regulars, do their jobs. And when the night winds down—when the last stool is flipped onto the tables, the floors are swept, and Eddie flicks off the lights—they step outside and fall into each other’s arms without a single word.
They hold on for far longer than what anyone would call normal.
Fuck normal, Eddie thinks, tightening his grip around Steve’s solid frame. Normal never made me feel like this.
Steve exhales against his neck, his voice quiet but soaked in something Eddie can’t name. “I’ll miss this,” he murmurs. “I’ll miss you.”
Say it, Eddie begs in his head. Please. Just say you feel this too.
But Steve doesn’t.
Eddie wishes that he were brave, wishes that he could bridge the metaphorical gap between the two of them by simply taking a leap of faith.
But he doesn’t.
So they pull away, exchanging promises to stay in touch, and Eddie walks away feeling like he just lost something he never even had.
Two weeks later, Eddie finds himself back at The Upside Down, waiting for Chrissy. But this time, he’s not behind the bar, taking stock of liquor bottles or wiping down counters.
He’s behind the curtain of the small stage they built at the far end of the bar, fidgeting with the strap of his guitar, his heart hammering and his hands shaking. The stage usually belongs to local bands on the weekends, filling the space with music that draws in bigger crowds.
But today is Monday. And behind the bar—his bar—is Steve, restocking the cabinets, just like he did the first time he stepped in to cover for Chrissy. Full circle, Eddie thinks, watching from the shadows.
Except this time, Steve is covering for Eddie.
Steve thinks Eddie had to leave for an emergency, an excuse Chrissy fed him about needing to see his uncle. Eddie isn’t exactly proud of using Wayne’s health as a pretext to lure Steve here under false pretenses. But what’s the saying?
All’s fair in love and war.
And if Eddie is going to do something about this mess of feelings, he’s going to do it in the way he knows best.
Through music.
“We’re ready,” Chrissy whispers, squeezing his arm. “Bar’s surprisingly full for a Monday, so don’t be nervous. The only thing that matters is getting your man.”
Eddie salutes her with a grin that’s only half forced. “Aye, aye, captain.”
Then, with a deep breath, he settles onto the small stool at center stage, guitar resting on his knee. The curtain pulls back, and suddenly, he’s bathed in the warm glow of the stage lights, staring out at the sea of faces in front of him.
But there’s only one face that matters.
His eyes find Steve instantly, standing behind the bar, frozen mid-motion with a bottle in his hand, wide-eyed and staring like he’s just had the wind knocked out of him.
Eddie taps the mic, wincing at the light thump it makes through the speakers. “Is this thing on? Yeah, sounds like it.” He clears his throat, nerves tightening in his chest. Here goes nothing.
“Hi, everybody. Some of you might know me as the guy who pours your drinks and listens to your problems, but tonight, I’m here as a humble musician playing a song.” His fingers flex around the neck of his guitar as he exhales. “A special song for a special someone.”
A ripple of murmurs runs through the crowd, but Eddie barely hears it. His pulse is pounding too loud in his ears.
“I ask you to be kind because—well, this is a love song. And I’ve never done that before.” He huffs a breathless laugh. “Written a love song, I mean. Or been in love.” His fingers tighten on the frets, his throat thick with something unnamed. “But then I met someone who changed all of that. Someone who makes me laugh even when I don’t want to. Who makes me want to rip my hair out with how much I want to touch and hold them.”
A beat of silence. His heart feels like it’s about to break his ribs.
“Someone who is kind and brave and quick-witted. A secret nerd.” A small smile tugs at his lips. “And the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
The room feels impossibly still. Eddie can feel Steve’s eyes on him now, burning, waiting. But he doesn’t dare look. If he meets those hazel eyes, he’s not sure he’ll make it through this without forgetting how to breathe.
He takes another shaky inhale, tilts his chin toward the mic. “So, yeah. Please be kind, because this is all new to me.”
And then—he plays.
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right I'm tripping on words You've got my head spinning I don't know where to go from here 'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do Nothing to prove And it's you and me and all other people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
The last note fades into the air, leaving the bar in a thick, charged silence. For a split second, Eddie’s convinced he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life. His fingers hover over the strings, his breath caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat.
And then—
The bar erupts into applause.
Someone calls his name, and he thinks he hears Chrissy cheer Bravo but Eddie barely registers it because his brain is still trying to catch up.
But then he sees him.
Steve.
Still standing behind the bar, both hands braced against the counter like he needs the support. His mouth is slightly open, his eyes wide and shining in the dim lighting. And then Steve runs a hand through his hair, shakes his head in what looks like pure disbelief, and laughs.
Not a mean laugh. Not a nervous one. A stunned, overwhelmed, delighted kind of laugh.
Eddie barely has time to put his guitar down before Steve moves.
He pushes past the bar, past the regulars clapping him on the back, eyes locked onto Eddie like there’s no one else in the damn room. Eddie stands frozen on stage, unsure what’s about to happen but aching for whatever it is.
And then Steve’s there, grabbing Eddie’s face in his hands and kissing him.
It’s not a shy, hesitant kiss. It’s everything. Warm, firm, desperate. Steve’s lips press against Eddie’s like he’s making up for lost time, and Eddie melts into it without hesitation, gripping Steve’s waist like he’s afraid he’ll disappear.
The bar goes wild.
Someone catcalls. Eddie hears Chrissy’s delighted I knew it! but all of it is background noise to the way Steve feels against him, the way his fingers tighten in Eddie’s hair, the way he lingers even as they finally—reluctantly—pull apart just enough to breathe.
Steve's forehead presses against Eddie's, his voice barely a whisper. "Please tell me that song was for me. Otherwise this is going to get awkward very quickly."
Eddie's laugh is joyous, relief palpable in every tone. "Of course. Who else would it be about?"
"I don't know, I've seen the looks you give Herbert," Steve grins, his eyebrows wagging. God, Eddie loves him.
Eddie kisses him again. "No, unfortunately my heart is set on you. Does your reaction to my song mean you feel the same?"
“You idiot,” Steve murmurs, but he’s smiling. Grinning. “You really think you’re the only one who feels this?”
Eddie exhales a laugh, overwhelmed and dizzy and so stupidly happy he can’t stand it. “I dunno,” he rasps. “You never said anything.”
Steve huffs, nudging their noses together. “Neither did you.”
Eddie grins. “Yeah, well. I wrote a song instead.”
Steve shakes his head, laughing again, and kisses him once more—just because he can.
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weirdero · 3 days ago
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I’ve seen a lot of people speculating that Gemma’s storyline will lead to a cloning reveal, which like, it’s a decent theory and wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. But god, this show is so specific and detail oriented Ben Stiller himself has even said nothing in the show is a coincidence. The cloning theory has also been shut down a couple times by some producers and writes from what I understand and idk I feel like a cloning reveal would just be so boring. And honestly, I don’t know if this is insane, but I’m fully leaning towards the idea that when it comes to Ms. Casey/Gemma, it’s more of a resurrection situation.
Okay so hear me out I believe our Ms. Casey is still physically Gemma her original body, her bones, her blood she’s alive baby that’s her but like also it’s not her. It’s like in horror or fantasy stories when a character dies and comes back but comes back wrong YK?. Physically it’s still them but it’s not them. In my opinion, her brain has been completely reset, wiping away whatever kind of person she used to be.
To back this theory I’ve been heavily leaning on the interaction between Ms. Cobel and Helena in the parking lot and just the general existence of the Mammalian Nurturable department.
Now, I might be reading into this too much, but I just love these characters so much and this show so please bear with me, this is a long one.
this season Harmony/Ms. Cobel is a problem. Like there is just no way she isn’t. Lumon is already struggling to keep it together after the scandal the main four caused, and a change in management isn’t helping. People are (probably) starting to pay attention, and they do not need that kind of heat. Ms. Cobel literally crashing tf out making herself homeless and sneaking around in the dark probably isn’t helping.
Helena’s choice of words have always stood out to me. She’s calculated, smart, and precise in how she speak just like Harmony. Both of them are masters at saying exactly what they need to without ever outright saying it yk? So when she she spots Cobel in the parking lot in the middle of the night she clocks her immediately.
Harmony walks out as if she still has a job in that bitch and has the audacity to tell Helena what her needs are and exactly how they should be met. And in my opinion, Helena is appalled but not surprised. She calls her out on her behavior.
“I hear ego, hubris, and arrogance. Kier teaches us they only cause pain.”
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To me, this isn’t just a read it’s a warning. Harmony doesn’t take it. She bites back, calling Helena a NEPOTISM BABY. wild.
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And I mean look at Helena’s face.
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So Helena lays it out for her as plainly as possible
“We didn’t have to ask you back.”
No translation even needed, she just said it flat out Baby, we don’t need you here. You do not, no matter what you think, represent us. You are not Lumon.
And Harmony, being just as cunty clocks her shit right back
“You didn’t have a choice.”
At this point, Ms. Cobel isn’t just skating on thin ice she’s walking across a frozen lake in metal combat boots, her ass skipping around as if the ice won’t break. And that’s her mistake.
Helena, after giving Harmony multiple chances to walk away. Multiple chances to come back in on lumons terms. Multiple chances to stop playing in her fucking face, finally pulls back with a kind smile and offers her a chance to “restart”.
As they walk towards the car, Ms. Cobel locks eyes with Helena’s bodyguard and the instant terror is actually insane. Full deer in headlights.
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A lot of people saw that shot and took it as a straight-up Sopranos esque death threat like, if she gets in that car, she’s not gonna survive the drive (RIP Audriana). And sure, it could be as simple as that, but this show is just way too good for it to be that simple.
I think Cobel recognizes the bodyguard. She knows him and I mean like fr knows him.
I saw a theory on Reddit suggesting that the bodyguard might be someone she knew maybe a former coworker, someone from her personal life (they suggested it could’ve been someone she was super close with before she even became the woman we know today) idk just somebody she knows knows and out of nowhere suddenly, he’s here, presented as Helena’s bodyguard. But it’s not him. It’s his skin, his bones, his blood but it’s not HIM.
And the way it plays out, it doesn’t seem like the bodyguard recognizes her at least not in the same way she knows him. That stare man that stare. I didn’t even know Harmony could experience fear. Who knows, maybe in that moment she’s reflecting on everything that’s happened. She bitched out the boss’s daughter in this empty ass parking lot on the brink of a mental break down, and suddenly there’s a chance to start over. All she has to do is get in that car, with that man, talk to the higher-ups, and hit the “reset” button.
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Basically my theory is that Lumon are essentially grave robbing the fuck out of that town. Taking people who have been in serious accidents car crashes, house fires, construction site falls, factory explosion, hell even a drive by. I also think they’re also taking drug addicts, the homeless people who have no loved ones looking out for them, or even looking for them at all, the ones who are confirmed to be gone in every way, physically or emotionally. They’re taking these people and giving them a full system reset rebooting the computer.
By doing this, Lumon gets to create a free labor force that works 24/7 without question or resistance, exploiting people who have no emotional ties or support systems. Blank slate baby! They’re also using these individuals as test subjects for whatever weird shit they wanna launch out as a new product.
This helps explain a lot of the weird shit going on with the employees at Mammalian Nurturable. They look so rough and are also really off-putting towards outsiders. Which is understandable but I genuinely believe they haven’t even “clocked out” in days, if not ever.
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Even though this theory makes the most sense to me, It still has its plot holes like if Gemma isn’t a clone and it’s her “resurrected” where does she go when she’s not her innie. In Season 1, she tells Mark she’s only conscious as her innie for a couple of minutes at a time, and the longest she’s ever stayed “alive” was the 8 hours she spent with his department. So where tf is she if not there as Ms Casey i don’t know man I do not know.
Anyways I have some other general curiosities about the town itself and why Lumon decided to build their main building there. I saw a TikTok video of someone saying it reminded them of company-built towns like Hershey Pennsylvania or Kodak Town, and I agree. Anywho I love this show so much it hurts I hope it never dies I literally missed having an obsession this intense I hope it gets all the love and awards it deserves!!
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alkit832 · 2 days ago
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Exactly, dudes. Like, some people just aren't seeing the game here.
Like, they're clearly using trans folk as a scape goat and as a starting place for deconstructing literally ANY rights gained in the past over one hundred years, go after the currently vulnerable, then once they're gone, go to the new vulnerable. Trans folk are on the fringe of societal acceptance, after us, then it's bi people and ace people for being "indecisive" or "just a late bloomer" respectively, and then after them it's gays and lesbians, then black folk(although maybe they'll go after black folk before gay folk? It's a toss up assuming they're going reverse chronological since if you want to start at Stonewall and the passing of the Civil Rights Act respectively then they were both about the same time.), and then jews because by then they won't be "white enough" for them, then women, then, finally, poor people because let's be honest, all of this is in service of a class war where they want to take things back to when you had to own land to vote and could use slave labor.
They HAVE to do it like this to keep power. There NEEDS to be an enemy for them to rally because of. Why do you think Hitler went after communists and Roma alongside jews? You go after every marginalized group until only the group you're a part of remains... And then you go after people for smaller things, lest the entire system collapse from not having a concrete enemy, y'know? Like, the game is SO damned obvious, I don't see why some people can't see it.
Hells, whenever I hear someone say "oh, well you need to be like, reaching across the isle or whatever and make them understand" I'm half tempted to say "and do what? Get close to the knife weilding maniac that wants me dead?" Gods, I swear, some people just don't get it because it isn't their neck on the line. Cishet white folk really need to wrap their heads around this shit, and soon, because otherwise there's going be a lot of blood, and trust me, it won't just be marginalized folks blood.
gotta be honest with you, i'm not too sure about this thing ppl say of "conservatives" being irrationally opposed to "trans people just existing" or whatever. i guess controversial take but no they actually have very concrete reasons to oppose bodily autonomy and the destabilization of sexual roles we represent considering their views on sex/gender and social reproduction overall actually. obviously we must oppose those views as they are 1. wrong and 2. oppressive but like. it's not like they just chose a random minority to hate. i mean otherwise why do you think it's specifically us.
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siriusly-t1red · 1 day ago
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Shadows and Light
Summary: Reader finally confesses to Azriel after secretly pining for years
CW: Fluff
The Velaris night was quiet, the city bathed in the soft glow of the stars. The wind whispered through the trees, carrying with it the scent of jasmine and night-blooming flowers. You found yourself standing on the balcony of the House of Wind, your heart pounding in your chest.
Azriel stood a few feet away from you, his back to the railing, his wings tucked close to his body. His shadowy presence was both comforting and intimidating, a paradox that had always intrigued you. His eyes, dark and unfathomable, were fixed on the horizon, but you knew he was aware of your presence.
"Azriel," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. You cleared your throat, trying to steady the tremor in your voice. "There's something I need to tell you."
He turned his head slightly, his gaze flickering to you for a moment before returning to the horizon. "I'm listening," he said, his voice as smooth and deep as ever.
You took a deep breath, the words you had rehearsed countless times tumbling out in a rush. "I—I think I'm in love with you."
The air seemed to still around you, the night's gentle breeze forgotten. Azriel's wings shifted slightly, a sign of his inner turmoil. He didn't respond immediately, and the silence stretched between you like a tightrope.
"I know this is... unexpected," you continued, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "And I understand if you don't feel the same way. I just needed to get it off my chest."
Azriel finally turned to face you fully, his expression unreadable. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words," he said softly, his voice laced with emotion.
You blinked, surprised by his admission. "You... you've waited?"
He nodded, his wings rustling as he took a step closer to you. "Every time I saw you, every time we spoke, I wanted to tell you how I felt. But I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, of making things awkward between us."
Your heart skipped a beat. "You... you feel the same way?"
Azriel's eyes darkened, a shadow passing over them. "More than you know.”
You reached out, your fingers brushing against his arm. “Am I dreaming?”
Azriel's wings unfurled, casting a wide shadow over the balcony. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "If you are then so am I ," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.
You leaned into his touch, your heart pounding in your chest.
And then, he kissed you. It was gentle at first, a tentative exploration of lips and emotions. But as the kiss deepened, it became something more—something raw and powerful. The shadows around you seemed to swirl, as if drawn to the intensity of your connection.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless. Azriel's eyes were dark with desire and something more—something that looked a lot like hope.
"I never thought I'd find someone who could see me for who I am," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You don’t fear me. Have never shied away from my shadows or scars."
You smiled, your heart full. "I could never fear you."
He leaned in again, enrapturing your lips once more. Your tongues danced along each other, memorizing every crevice of the other's mouth. The longer you kissed, the more desire began to fill within you.
“Shit, now I owe Feyre 100 gold coins,” A voice cursed from behind you, causing you two to jump apart.
Your face flushed as you saw Cassian leaning against the door frame, a smirk plastered across his face. "I knew you two had something going on," he said, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement. "I just didn't think it would happen so soon."
Azriel's wings rustled, and he shot Cassian a warning glance. "This is hardly the time for your jokes, Cassian," he said, his voice low but not unkind.
Cassian raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not here to ruin the moment. I just wanted to see if my bet with Feyre was going to pay off."
You couldn't help but laugh, the tension easing from your shoulders. "You bet on us?"
Cassian nodded, his smirk widening. "Oh, absolutely. Feyre had a feeling you'd confess your feelings tonight. I thought it would take a bit longer, but hey, I'm not complaining."
Azriel let out a soft sigh, his wings settling back against his body. "You and Feyre have a strange way of showing your support."
Cassian chuckled, pushing off the door frame and stepping onto the balcony. "We like to keep things interesting. Besides, it's not every day we get to see the Shadowmaster fall head over heels."
Azriel's cheeks flushed a deep red, and he glanced at you, his expression softening. "I suppose I have no choice but to admit it now."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm glad you did."
Cassian clapped his hands together, his grin still firmly in place. "Well, I'll leave you two to your... moment. Try not to make me an uncle too soon."
With a final wink, Cassian disappeared back into the house, leaving you and Azriel alone on the balcony.
Azriel turned to you, his eyes searching yours. "I'm sorry about him," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.
You shook your head, a smile playing on your lips. "Don't be. He's just being Cassian."
Azriel's expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand in his. "We have minutes before he tells the others."
You squeezed his hand, smiling. "Then let's make the most of this peace before it's gone."
Azriel leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. The shadows around you seemed to dance, as if celebrating the connection between you.
As you kissed, the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in the quiet, starlit night. The city of Velaris was silent, the night air filled with the scent of jasmine and night-blooming flowers.
And in that moment, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. With Azriel by your side, there was nothing to fear.
The shadows and the light had found their balance.
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yougavememyopia · 2 days ago
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OH MY GOD UR MASOCHIST YAN DRIVES ME INSANE TOO oh my god oh my godddd OOOOHHHHH MY GODDDD GFRRRGAVBNCJJSJKDKDOAODOOAKAKNFNHCHUEOROGLKSJSJHFJDODOAODI
wouldn’t it be so funny to imagine if crybaby yan and masochist yan had to fight over you somehow?? maybe a 3 roommate situation HAHA like masochist yan is so confident at flirting but you’re easily annoyed by him versus crybaby who struggles asserting himself but you have a soft spot for…. IM GOING CRAZYYUYYYYUSUDIAJOAOO
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They would not get along.
Masochist yandere is mean to anyone who isn't you. He wants to isolate you as much as possible so he can have all your attention for himself and himself only. He wants to get rid of Crybaby yan as fast as possible. Get him evicted and then turn his room into a "game" room. But he can't. You actually like that pathetic mess for some reason he can't understand.
His go-to manipulation tactic is making you exhausted to resist. Constantly pleading. Talking your ear off so you have to agree with what he says. Still, you somehow remain resilient in your decision. No matter how much he tries to sugarcoat his words like always, or argue how Crybaby yan is literally a useless waste of space. You don't budge. Much to his demise, you threaten to kick him out instead.
Anytime Masochist yan did something that bothered his sensitive roommate, he'd get a scolding. Crybaby yan would aggregate his actions, just to get more of your pity. Burying his face into your neck and putting his legs around your waist. You'd shush him and pet his head, glaring at the guy who made him cry. He glares at you like, "Seriously, you're gonna take his side?"
If you start to doubt Crybaby yan, he knew exactly how to guilt-trip you. Puppy eyes. Pouty lips. Tears easily rolling down his cheeks. The perfect victim with his helplessness act.
As much as Masochist yan actually loves when you yell at him and get all angry, he doesn't like how the other boy was getting most of your time. He doesn't want to be just an annoying shit you bicker with. He also wants your affection— your hugs and headpats— his jealousy really obvious.
"So when I ask to cuddle, it's annoying. When he does it, it's adorable? That's not fair.... Augh! Look what you did. You made me cry! Is that what you wanted? Huh? Is that what you're into, you perv?"
He'd plop down beside you on your shared couch and grumpily look to the side. His whines stopping. You slowly thread your fingers through his hair like the other yandere lying on your lap. And just like that, he melts into you like a pudding. Shamelessly whimpering with his eyes closed. Brows furrow as he hugs your side tight. Eventually, they both learn to get along.
Unlike Crybaby yan—who doesn't openly talk about his feelings (unless it's saying how he doesn't want you to ever leave)—Masochist yan tells you exactly what he thinks. Even if not appropriate. He values honesty, so to him, being a tattletale is justified.
When you come home from a long day, Masochist yan is quick to give you a report of what you missed before you could even step inside.
Standing on his tippy toes to look taller and crossing his arms while he loudly began to speak. "The little creep you love so much sneaks into your room and smells your dirty laundry! Isn't he so gross? You're disgusted, right?"
Poor Crybaby yan looks paler than usual as he looks away from you with teary eyes. Unable to face you, dreading your reaction. Anger causes him to finally speak back against his irritating peer. "W-well, at least I don't s-steal the clothes like you."
"I don't steal, I burrow!" Masochist yan argues back, knowing well he doesn't have an actual point. "And I asked before I took something."
"A-are you serious? You ran away with it before you could get denied—"
"—Boys, boys, boys. That's enough!" You walk to stand between them abruptly. Arms on either shoulders, feeling their muscles tense up. "You're both in a lot of trouble, y'know..."
They glance at each other for a moment, then at you. Your playful words rousing sinful thoughts for one and petrified ideas for another. Different kind of scenerios of how you could punish them rushing in their mind. A playful hum and a scared squeak when you tug their arms and push them inside.
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I WAS LITERALLY IMAGINING THE SAME THING!!!! LIKE THE EXACT. SAME. THOUGHT. Thank you for pulling this idea out of its dark bottomless pit~
Now, let's turn it into smut.
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deviantlair24 · 3 days ago
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Trading with a Naga (FemHuman x Naga)
You had spent three months searching for reclusive species, hoping to trade for the more hard to come by creature parts. Witches would pay a high price for these things and it was your job to source them, ethically of course. 
You were currently on the hunt for a Naga, they were seclusive creatures of high intelligence. They often lived in mating pairs or on their own, which made them harder to find. 
The one you were tracking lived deep in the jungle, far from convenient but if you were able to trade with the Naga what it gave you could bring you over a million dollars, they were incredibly rare. All you needed to do was find a Naga, and survive of course.  
The jungle was dangerous enough on its own given the bugs, predators, and diseases. The heat alone was getting to you but what was really dangerous would be the Naga itself. 
You were smart enough to be cautious of Naga’s, they were incredibly strong and knew how to use their environment to their advantage, and that’s not even bringing their venom into the equation. One wrong move and you could be dead in minutes. 
Luckily for you, this wasn’t your first go around, you had already found one Naga years prior and traded with her. She had been relatively understanding of your ignorance and taught you the basics of dealing with her kind. 
She had needed medical supplies and a rare ingredient from Alaska so she had been more than accommodating to you. Nagas couldn’t go in cold climates, they were still part reptiles so they were cold blooded making places like Alaska, Canada, and Russia unacceptable to them. 
You had made sure to pack herbs and supplies only found in cold climates in hope of making a decent trade but first you had to find a Naga in this jungle which seemed to go on forever. 
Thankfully you were in luck as you finally found signs of a Naga nearby and tracked them back to their territory. 
Your footsteps were loud as you crunched on fallen leaves and sticks, the last thing you wanted was to sneak up on them. You were so focused on making your presence known you didn't notice as you walked right into a tripwire. 
The world turned upside down as you were strung up in a tree by your ankle. You yelled out in surprise, your bag falling from your arms as you swung back and forth, trying desperately not to get sick as blood rushed to your head. 
You did your best to keep your equilibrium as you reached for your belt, you kept a knife on you for emergencies along with a machete, saw, and ax. But those were in your bag.
You grunted as you pulled the knife from the holster and struggled to reach your ankle. You worked out regularly but this shit was harder than they showed in the movies. 
Eventually you got a hold of the rope and attempted to cut yourself down only to feel a sharp poke in your side. You let out a yelp as you let go on instinct, dropping your knife as you fell back down only to see a tail full of dark purple scales. 
Your eyes followed the tail to see a male chest before a spear was pointed at your face. Well, at least you found a Naga. 
“Ssstate your busssiness” He hissed with narrowed eyes, he had scales covering his lower stomach and his shoulders while the rest of his upper half looked human besides the patch of scales on either side of his face and his fangs. 
You gulped as you tried to avoid the sharp point of his spear “I came to trade with you! I brought plants and medicines that you can’t get yourself” You were hoping he would let you down but he made no move to do so. 
“I don’t need plants” he said simply, his spear not moving from your face.
“Then what do you need?! I only want some of your venom and any shed skin you have! I’ll give you whatever you want, I brought a lot of stuff with me!” You were growing dizzy the longer you stayed hanging upside down. 
It was getting hard to think straight “Please just let me down!” You pleaded as you looked up at him with wide eyes. 
He looked at you for a moment before turning away, you thought he may be leaving you when suddenly you fell to the ground. You groaned at the impact, cursing as you fell onto a rock and cut your arm. At least it hadn’t been your face. 
You grabbed your bag as you stood back up, notably leaving your knife on the ground as a show of goodwill. 
You grabbed a bandage from your first aid kit and tied it around your arm to stop the bleeding from your cut. You would need to properly treat it soon before it gets infected. You could never be too careful in the middle of the jungle miles away from any hospital. 
“Uh, can I?” You asked, motioning to your bag. When he gave a nod you began to pull out the items you wished to trade. He looked them over, his slitted eyes unimpressed as you explained what they did. 
“I want none of thisss” He said simply, putting his spear away on his back as he realized you had not come to fight. 
“Well then what do you want? I need some of your venom” You pleaded, not willing to go back after all you had done to find him. 
He tilted his head and took a deep breath through his nose, you were thankful he didn’t have slits for a nose like Voldemort, it would make it very hard to take him seriously. 
He looked up at you with a smirk “There iss sssomething I want” he said simply, the look in his eyes made you flush. He couldn’t be thinking what you thought...Right?
“Care to tell me what that is?” You asked after a few moments, growing slightly uneasy....and excited. Not that you would admit it and make a fool out of yourself. 
His golden eyes moved up and down your body “I have no mate this ssseasson, If you let me Mate you I will give you what you wish” his words made your eyes widen in surprise. 
You gaped for a moment before snapping your mouth closed, he just waited expectantly for an answer while you both panicked and tried not to show how incredibly aroused you were already. 
As you took a deep breath to gather your thoughts you forced yourself to relax “If I agree I want more than venom. I want your shed skin and nails, alonge with two vials of your blood” You tried to speak with confidence and it must have worked as he nodded. 
He turned away, motioning for you to follow as he slithered across the jungle. The reminder of his tail kept you frozen for a few moments before you scrambled to pick up your things and follow behind him. 
Were you really gonna do this? You knew Naga’s were not only large but had two penises. Were you really going to let him fuck you for a payday?...
If you were really honest with yourself it wasn’t just the money you could get that had you considering it, which to be fair would set you up for life. What other opportunity were you going to have to get fucked by a Naga? 
It was a once in a lifetime chance, and you would be paid extremely well for it. What was there to lose really? Well...Besides some elasticity. 
You followed him to a cave, watching as he put down a pile of shed skin and nails in front of you he looked at you expectantly, holding out his hand. 
Your eyes were drawn to the talon like claws on his hands before you realized he needed the vials for his venom and blood. You reached into your bag and removed the vials you had purchased from one of your clients. They had stasis charms on them along with an unbreakable spell to keep the venom safe and preserved. 
You hadn’t expected to get any blood but the vials would also keep his blood preserved. 
You pursed your lips as he filled the vials with venom before cutting his finger on his spear and letting the blood drip until two small vials were full. 
Once it was done he placed it on the table like surface in front of you “Isss it a deal?” He asked, his stare intense as he met your eyes. 
You bit your lip as you looked down at what he was offering, even if you wanted to you wouldn’t have turned it down. It was one evening that ensured the rest of your life. But in reality you were already twitching at the prospect. 
“I agree to your terms” you said before grabbing the items and quickly storing them away. 
No sooner had you zipped up your bag did he have you backed against the cave wall. You jumped as your back hit the cold stone as he boxed you in with his arms. 
You swallowed as he stood above you, now that he was so close you could see the light patch of scales on his cheekbones that seemed to glitter against the firelight. 
Your hand tentatively reached up and settled on his face, running the tips of your fingers over his scales as you looked at him in wonderment “You're beautiful” you whispered before meeting his golden eyes. 
He looked at you amused as he pushed his body flush against yours, keeping you pinned against the cave wall “Thank you” he said with a chuckle as he ran his hands up and down your sides. 
At that moment you decided to enjoy yourself, have a wild night and then never speak of this to anyone ever again. In the meantime you were all in as you grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. 
He seemed confused for a moment, still against your lips before he began copying your movements. He leaned into the kiss, taking your hands in his and restraining them against the wall before pulling away and kissing down the side of your neck. 
He made a pleased hissing sound as you leaned your head back, exposing your neck to him. You knew it was the sign of submission in Naga culture. 
He licked up the side of your neck with his forked tongue making a shiver go down your spine. 
“Are you ready for me?” He asked against your neck, one hand keeping your arms restrained while the other ran down one arm to your chest where he tugged at the fabric of your shirt. 
TO BE CONTINUED ON PATREON (FREE) - HERE
Full Story - 3.3k words
Naga, Double Penetration, Overstimulation, Ovipositor,
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odinsblog · 2 days ago
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@the-explorers-journal
I do not disagree with what you’ve said here. I would only like to add: SOMETIMES it absolutely is easier to destroy something than to create meaningful change … however … sometimes effecting long lasting, meaningful change is quite easy.
I am loathe to use him as even a negative example, but by denying Obama the opportunity to seat his SCOTUS choice (ineffective and milquetoast as Merrick Garland is), Mitch McConnell very easily made a long lasting change. Trump and the Republicans—even though some of their edicts will undoubtedly be overturned—are giving a master class on how easy it is to make lasting change (yes, even though it’s change for the worse).
And I want to be absolutely crystal clear here on two things:
1) Not all marginalized and oppressed people who are desperate for meaningful change are bomb-throwers who are being “too impatient” or “not being pragmatic enough.” I feel (perhaps wrongly) as though that may have been an unspoken implication/accusation in what you said in your post. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had quite a lot to say about members of the oppressor class calmly calling for “patience” and “pragmatism” from the people who are being marginalized and oppressed 24/7/365. The people who aren’t hurting, who have some privileges - they do not get to dictate what is or is not “the appropriate timeframe” for change to occur. Time and pragmatism™ are luxuries that many oppressed people simply cannot afford. Taking the same approach for every problem isn’t wise; sometimes pragmatism might actually be the wisest course of action, but many other times, we need to adhere to the fierce urgency of NOW!
2) As a very simple example, I want to highlight times (for immigration policy and to raise the minimum wage) when Joe Biden and the Democrats actually could have effected long lasting and meaningful change, but opted not to because they were supposedly “overridden” by an unelected official—the Senate Parliamentarian—who Republicans have overridden multiple times before to swiftly make their changes into longer lasting law.
I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes you need elected officials in power who not only “understand” the pain of marginalized groups, but who also actually want to be supporters and active partners with said groups to help make long lasting, meaningful change possible.
Being practical, pragmatic and patient absolutely do have their virtues and benefits. No doubt. BUT … sometimes, maybe just maybe, sometimes simply taking full advantage of a low hanging opportunity that is right in front of you, that is also prudent, practical and pragmatic,no??
Sometimes, being “pragmatic” just means fucking going for it while you still can! Stated differently, do all the good you can while you have the power to do so, without worrying about whether or not your opponents will say mean things about you. On this concept, Republicans understand and execute. Republicans sure as shit were not worried about what Democrats might think or say about them as they rolled back Roe, elected a fascist, and cheered for a Nazi doing a Nazi salute at the presidential inauguration.
I am not suggesting that Democrats break the law and lie and disinform voters the way that Republicans always do. But what I am suggesting is that Democrats swing at slow moving balls that lazily come straight across the plate. They don’t gotta swing at everything, but they dO gotta stop trying to bunt at absolutely everything and anything. In other words, they cannot be so damned afraid of (gasp!) offending conservative voters who aren’t everrrr going to vote for Democrats in significant numbers.
Democrats have already tried this strategy:
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Maybe just for shits and giggles, they could try acquiescing to … Idk … the progressive base??
And before anyone goes there, I am not a “traitor” or a closet Republican because I’m demanding that my elected officials (Democrats) work harder for me than for white conservative voters. They work for me, allegedly.
Sometimes, the easiest and best way to help people is to just help them, without making any political calculations. Maybe not always, but damn, having those immigration laws and a higher federal minimum wage codified into law would have helped BIG time. And it was before Trump stacked the court.
Sometimes patience is a virtue. Sometimes it ain’t.
And quite frankly, if the Democrats cannot stop Republican fascists, then what good are they?
Anyway, I really hope that I didn’t come across as hostile or anything. But I am unambiguously Black and I have LGBTQ family members, and non-English speaking relatives, and I am feeling the fierce urgency of, not now, but right now. ✌🏿🫡
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lu-is-not-ok · 3 days ago
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hi there! i’ve been motivated by previous asks, so i would really like to hear your thoughts on hong lu’s relationship with yi sang, as it is currently and how it may progress with the story… they have very interesting parallels to me and i wish i could see their relationship explored somewhere other than my own head lol
also, (if you would allow me two questions) do you have any particular thoughts about hong lu’s particulars (bachelor and sheltered)? i find the sinners’ particulars to be really interesting too but i never see them discussed anymore. thanks for your time & have a good day <3
When it comes to Hong Lu and Yi Sang, their relationship is much more straightforward but also much more genuinely positive.
The two don't really interact with each other in any notable manner until Canto 4, which is also where their dynamic Truly gets established. Canto 4's Dungeon is where they both end up connecting, as Yi Sang recognises Hong Lu as someone who heavily resembles Young Ji from the League of Nine, while Hong Lu himself appears to relate to and understand some of Yi Sang's struggles.
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This all comes to a head when Hong Lu is the one to recognise the emotional core of what was happening and gives Dante the advice they need to actually reach out to Yi Sang at his lowest.
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From this Canto onward, Hong Lu appears to consistently check up on Yi Sang during moments that remind the latter of his past with the League. Hong Lu shows that he not only holds concern for Yi Sang's emotional well-being, but also wants to make sure he doesn't bottle up his thoughts the way he learned he did in his past.
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Likewise in Canto 7 Yi Sang is shown to be returning the favor to Hong Lu so to speak, though he's shown to struggle a bit more with processing how Hong Lu responds in comparison.
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Outside of these moments, Hong Lu and Yi Sang are shown to generally have a cordial and amicable rapport, both showing curiosity towards each other when they share their respective knowledge and likewise jumping off of each other's observations to add their own. While Hong Lu does tease Yi Sang once or twice, it doesn't read nearly as mean-spirited as some of the shit he pulled with people like Heathcliff and Rodya.
Their relationship is perhaps one of the few on the bus that I can genuinely say is an entirely positive one for both of them. They both clearly care for each other and enjoy speaking with one another, even if they might struggle to understand one another at points. No ifs or buts, they're just straight up honestly decent friends.
It really makes me wonder how Yi Sang is going to take it once Hong Lu's lies are revealed... Compared to a lot of the relationships Hong Lu has with the other Sinners, his bond with Yi Sang seems the most genuine. Will Yi Sang be able to recognise that and will he decide to still stand by Hong Lu side?
Now. As for your second question.
I don't have much to say on Hong Lu's particulars beyond mentioning that their translation is. Interesting to say the least.
According to someone who speaks Korean, the term that got translated to "Bachelor" would more accurately be translated to "Young Master", aka it doesn't really have anything to do with marital status in its original language.
Similarly, the original wording for the "Sheltered" particular is more so an allusion to Hong Lu having a different sense of reality to what is considered normal. It's an interesting specificity that the English translation added that from my understanding wasn't there in the original text.
I don't have much else to add beyond the fact that people are too quick to trust the Manager Instructions as being the ultimate truth on what the Sinners are like. Their description of Ishmael as someone whose "patience runs deep" is proven incorrect in the fucking Prologue where her impatience is directly called out. This shit isn't a trustworthy source of info.
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csphire · 2 days ago
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Hopes and dreams I had for Dragon Age 4 that we so did not get.🙃😢
An actual RPG game. Not Nice Guy, Nice Funny Guy, and Nice but Stern Guy. Let us screw up and piss off our companions.
No more dialogue wheel selection bait and switches. "Nooo I didn't mean that. I did not think they would say that! That's not what I thought that choice meant. I meant-fuck! *sighs* ...I guess I'll have to reload." Or more accurately, "That was the mean option? Are you kidding me!"
Letting the player be an asshole. Sometimes, it's just cathartic to punch a character. People in customer service especially need this at the end of a shift. Putting this in games is a public service. We needed more of those kinds of moments beyond the bloody tutorial.
More of our previous choices having an actual impact in DA4. Like the Well of Sorrows I was so certain would bite an Inquisitor in the ass somehow in the future. Like Morrigan with Mythal in her could force the Inqusitor to hurt or even try to kill Solas. So I agonized over that choice. The same goes for who we left in the fade. Honestly, the three or so that carried over I did not see any impact on DAVG at all. Am I wrong?
Who we left in the fade showing up or we find their body. "Where's Hawke?" Yeah... where's Hawke BioWare? Get's Hawke's clothes instead. Well, that's... depressing.
The option to play as the Inquisitor trying to be low profile or as a nobody aka Rook. This way, everyone is happy, right? For a lot of us, the Inquisitor going toe to toe again with Solas was important.
By playing as the Inquisitor we would have had one sweet Dagna-created prostatic arm-not from Bianca because screw her. Also, depending on our class each one would be a little different. Oh, and that prosthetic would also be customizable just like Varric's crossbow and every other weapon in Dragon Age Inquisition. I really thought BioWare would jump to help feature an amputee in an empowering way. True we had Neve but it felt like more of an afterthought to give her a prosthetic that honestly looks uncomfortable as hell.
Open worlds to collect mats, and kill things to craft gear and weapons for our team only better. It would have given us time to breathe and enjoy the scenery. Plus I like doing that kind of tedious shit and if you don't, fine go buy that stuff I guess.
Vendors that will sell us the goods if we got the coin and none of that faction BS.
"Knife ear!" You think at least the venatori would be shouting that at my elf. Nope! I did not feel like my character's race mattered in this game. I don't think Solas over a decade really put the fear of the gods into the North. We all know isms and slavery are bad but putting those things in a game's world helps people realize why they're bad and can even help people feel what it's like to be on the receiving end of such abuses which can help create a thing called empathy.
Blood! Where is the blood? Why is my character not covered in dirt and the gore of their enemies? Don't like that, fair but what about an on-off feature in settings?
Enemies that send chills down my spine. Instead, the ogres and darkspawn made me bust out laughing. I cannot take them seriously, especially the ogres. I see them and think, "Derp a durr... oh I'm an ogre and soooo scardy... rawr."
Dagna... because she's adorable and if any dwarf deserves magic it's her. Or at least let her nerd out, study Lace and help her understand more about her new abilities.
Sandal Cameo at least. Also adorable aaand... ENCHANTMENT!
Our companions can get hurt. I'm starting to think they made them immortal because they knew some of us would let them get hurt on purpose. There are no feelings of concern at all for them going into combat now, no pick-up mechanics it leaves me feeling only more apathetic about them.
Quicker cooldowns on abilities instead of spamming the left mouse button all of the time. And more than two fucking abilities on my hot bar. BioWare... what were you thinking?
Three or more companions traveling with us instead of two. It was the gold standard all throughout the franchise. How are we supposed to get to know them all when limited to-oh right most of them have a personality as deep as a kiddy pool, never mind.
Companions with personalities and problems deeper than kiddy pools. That tension between Cassandra and Varric, Dorrian and Vivienne, Cole and Sera, and so forth was... chief's kiss.
Control of all THREE of our companions traveling with us in combat. Look, I'm a control freak who likes strategy. Combat for the series has always been centered on strategy, pausing, builds, and gear. Am I still bitter that they dropped us to two? ...Yes.
If playing as the Inquisitor you get the option to romance someone new. Especially let us have the option for Lavellan to move on from Solas.
Better-looking hands and body proportions. Why are the heads so damn big? And honestly the hands in failguard genuinely creep me the hell out with tucking the pinkies away all the time. It's weird! Strange hill to die on I know but they just make me cringe and die a little inside.
Romance scenes that would make Larian and BG3 fans blush. This game was always meant for adults. Adults have *gasp* SEX!
Solas not being a total red flag d-bag for killing our favorite dwarf! Run Lavellan Run! You're probably next. And if not him, Bianca is going for your eyes!
Solas being less of a manipulative antagonist twat and/or the player has the ability to be more diplomatic from the start with Solas to get his help. I feel like Solas' character development sorta backtracked by a lot.
Solas once again is a romance option but this time to EVERYONE! That and I wanted to see Lavellan and Solas finally get it on.
They finally let us romance Varric. Oh they did you so dirty, baby... *ugly crying*
A memorable soundtrack that sets off all the feels and is not stuff that's reused from the Inquisition.
Last but not least, where the fuck is our Golden Nug Bioware?
I might add more later, but feel free to add more and comment below!
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poppitron360 · 3 days ago
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@cometmoons so for some reason tumblr has glitched and isn’t letting me respond to the ask you sent me so I’m just gonna do it like this.
OK OK OK OK OK OK SO-
There is SO MUCH to talk about with Wouldn’t You Like. I feel like it’s hard to describe on a written post so I took the liberty of downloading a music notation app and transcribing the bits I wanted to talk about (This took me aaaages. But it was a really fun process and taught me a lot.)
Be warned this is a LONG post.
Firstly, here’s my overall take on the narrative of this song:
Odysseus is one of the smartest heroes of Greek Myth. He’s a mentee of Athena. He’s tactical. Yes, he is a fighter, but he’s for the most part a strategist and he uses diplomacy and cunning and his words to defeat his foes. Big Slytherin energy. Up until this point, that’s all he’s ever used. Eurylochus has doubted and challenged this approach, and has now come to him, saying that Circe is too powerful to defeat and that they should just run away. Odysseus “Pride is my fatal flaw” of Ithaca is insisting on fighting Circe, but is realising that he might not be able to talk his way out of it.
Hermes has now shown up like “hey ✨dAhLiNg✨how about you try something different? DRUGS!”, offering him a taste of something he’s never had before… power.
This, in my opinion, is a big step in Odysseus’ fall from man into monster, and Jay uses music in so many different ways to convey that, so let’s start with a break down of the song one section at a time:
Intro:
For most of the song, you’ve got the Lyre/Harp playing- Hemes’ signature instrument, which is significant to him because according to myth he invented the Lyre. This is the first thing we hear in the song, immediately setting up the things you need to identify his character.
Harps and Lyres are typically used in film and videogame music to give a mystical, magical atmosphere. I love how Jay blends modern (1980s) Synthpop with more classical, eclectic instruments that don’t normally fit the style. I’m assuming for budgeting reasons he’s using a VST or some kind of sample pack and not a real harp (session musicians are EXPENSIVE), but still- you hardly ever hear a harp in this kind of music but it WORKS.
The introduction played by the harp also lays out something that is shown throughout the whole song:
AEOLIAN MODE!!!!
Modes are hard to explain bc I barely understand them myself (I said music theory was my special interest, not that I was any good at it) but according to the Wikepedia article I’m reading about them right now, they were used a lot in ANCIENT GREECE. The Aeolian mode specifically was used a lot back then. The word “Aeolian” comes from… you guessed it- the Islands of Aeolus!!!
Aeolus, being the God of the wind- Aeolian mode is this mystical, free-flowing mode that simulates the feeling of wind.
You know when you hear a high wind through a telegraph pole you get this whistling sound? That’s basically a rudimentary, naturally occurring Aeolian Harp. There’s a whole Physics lecture about sound frequencies and microtones and shit in here that I am not yet qualified to give but this kind of stuff FASCINATES me about music.
I found this 60sec short that explains Aeolian mode really well from a channel I really like: https://youtu.be/bJ6TRQ3k45Q?si=sksSz4xyf_96uMrp It’ll give a much more concise explanation than I could, but basically all you need to know is that the melodies are in this special scale.
Aeolian mode is the natural minor scale. It’s often used to feel spooky and mystical- perfect for a song like Wouldn’t You Like where this magical character is singing about a magical plant. It’s not the standard G minor scale, but something a little more twisted and not really something we’re used to hearing, giving it a mysterious quality.
This is established immediately by the harpline, and sets the entire tone of the song. We then hear his trademark giggle, and so in the first 3 seconds we know everything we need to know about who Hermes is and what he’s like.
Speaking of the giggle- I briefly mentioned Panning in my post about Scylla, and while I can’t discern any use of it just by listening, but I imagine Jay’s probably used a subtle amount of it to give the sense of Hermes flying overhead.
Panning is a thing done in audio production where you can choose how much of the sound is heard on the left or the right.
Verse 1 (“I must say”… etc.):
It’s very gentle at this point, the orchestration and vocalisation is calm and lilted. It’s very beautiful, although the minor tonality gives it a slightly uneasy feel. (Often the minor key is described as sounding “sad”, but that’s not always the case. This is a great example).
The harp melody is repetitive, giving a sense of persistence, this adds to the sense of unease. It also has elements of hip-hop, as a gentle beat comes in as the chorus starts.
Chorus 1:
Now the harp cuts out and you’ve got that synth bass-line coming in- the repetitive, insistent beats and this “four-on-the-floor” drum pattern where the bass drum (which sits on the floor) kicks on every beat (in a four-beat bar). This feeling of it almost pounding in your head on every thump.
The instrumentation is very stark, you’ve just got the vocalist, the bass, and the bass drum. This technique is used by Taylor Swift in both the songs “Look What You Made Me Do” and “Vigilante Shit”- this really makes you listen to the lyrics as there’s nothing distracting you. As this is the first time we’re hearing these words, it draws you into what he’s saying.
On the line “Wouldn’t you like to have some of the magic?”, the Lyre comes in, playing this repetitive line that goes up and down and up and down. It’s a repetitive, almost hypnotic sound.
Verse 2 (“She can turn you to an animal”… etc.):
This is when this bluesy piano comes in.
The piano is used a lot in different points of Epic- it’s an essential part of any musical orchestra pit or just a song in general, and crucial in every composers instrumentation arsenal (and was also the first instrument I ever learned to play and my first real taste of music, so it’s not like I’m biased or anything)- but it’s mostly associated with Athena as it’s her signature instrument. It’s a stretch, but my interpretation is that Hermes is trying to appeal to something familiar to Odysseus. So far the only God he’s interacted with at length is Athena, who taught him this idea of being strategic and tactical. Hermes is acknowledging that this is Odysseus’ main way of fighting, while also showing him that there could be something more to it.
The piano plays these low-octave chords in this syncopated rhythm, which adds a layer of intensity that you didn’t have in verse one. This continues into the second chorus.
Chorus 2:
The orchestration is much more intense, pulling the audience (and Odysseus) in.
I’m gonna talk a lot about the musical “language” that Jorge has established for the universe- bits of music theory he’s tied in with themes that don’t necessarily have the same connotations anywhere else, because I think it’s genius.
Jay has said that the mythical beings (Gods, monsters, Odysseus when he kills the suitors) are all able to summon non-diagetic backing vocalists to back them up. Interestingly, Hermes doesn’t use this the first time round, speaking to Ody on his level, and is now rising up and displaying the power he’s tempting him with.
This is when we first hear the backing vocalists. There’s now a group of voices, so there’s more people urging you to taste the flower. Musically speaking, the harmony moving in the same rhythm with the same words as the soloist creates a sense of movement, congruent with Ody’s temptation.
Here is where we get to how this harmony works. This is the section that will actually answer your question.
First of all, I also struggle with overstimulation so I totally get what you’re talking about. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do backing vocals, and I know from experience that writing harmonies as complex as this takes skill and practice.
I think that’s why music is so special to me. The sensory calm certain sounds and songs give me, the good kind of stimulation and the bad kind. It has always made me so curious as to why and how the choices made in music can impact a person psychologically, make the listener feel immersed in a story, inflict specific emotions.
This is what fascinates me about music theory. Yes, it should overwhelm you. Yes, it should sound wrong. But it doesn’t. It WORKS. And what’s so interesting to me is why.
Jorge describes it as “crunchy and punchy” which is honestly perfect.
He is of course, referring to dissonance.
I have been studying music most of my life, and pretty much every music teacher I’ve ever had describes dissonance as just “sounding smushy”. It’s actually “a lack of harmony among musical notes”, usually two notes next to each other played at the same time.
But why does this sound “crunchy” and not “smushy”?
The Melody remains modal, as it has done the entire song. This is our grounding, our “Home”, but the harmony does something different. It’s moving down and up, flowing like wind, like the sea. And it’s doing this chromatically- using notes from the G minor key instead of the Aeolian mode- which creates clashes. Also known as dissonance. Also known as “smushy”.
And this is where we break out the good ol’ notation! I transcribed this myself by ear, so it might not be perfect. I can sight read tablature but not sheet music, so if this is wildly off then I’m sorry. I find it easier to explain music through annotations, but in order to make this screenreader accessible, I’m just gonna cite the lyrics and explain it in the text underneath.
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In this section, “Wouldn’t you like to have some of the magic? Wouldn’t you like your outcome preferred?” The melody pretty much remains on C this whole time, only changing at the end of each two-bar phrase. This gives a forceful, repetitive, driving feeling. Hermes is being very persistent here.
For the first two-bar phrase- “Wouldn’t you like to have some of the magic”- both harmonies are the same. They then split at “Wouldn’t you like your outcome preferred?”
“Wouldn’t you”- The harmony starts on G, which is the root of G minor (the key that we are in). This is diatonic (using the notes from the key)- so it sounds nice, not “smushy”.
“Like to”- We then go down to F sharp, which is dissonant to the Aeolian mode, even though it’s the major 7th of G minor. This is why it sounds “smushy”
“Have some of the”- And here is where the “crunchiness” kicks in. It’s resolving down to the flattened 7th, which is F natural. The flattened 7th is the modal note.
“Magic”- The first two-bar phrase ends in E natural, which is dissonant to the mode. The melody also ends in D, which provides a lot of dissonance with the E as they are right next to each other, which can create clashes.
“Wouldn’t you”- This is where the two harmonies split. Harmony 1 goes back to G, which is the root of the mode. Harmony 2 goes down to E flat, which is also consonant (not dissonant).
“Like your”- Harmony 2 goes down to D, which is dissonant with the note in the melody (C) because they are next to each other. Harmony 1 goes to F sharp, which is dissonant to the Aeolian mode, as said before.
“Outcome”- Harmony 1 resolves to an F, and Harmony 2 goes back to an E flat.
“Preferred”- The last two notes “smush” as F natural (Harmony 1) and E natural (Harmony 2) are a semitone apart, then both harmonies join at E natural, which clashes with the D in the melody.
So the pattern goes from “nice” to “smush” to “nice” to “smush” to “nice” to “smush” to “nice” to “even more smush” and then when the next part of the harmony starts “deep in the night” you resolve back to the G, which is the tonic note.
Why does the dissonance work in this song?
It’s passing. Going down by step and resolving to a modal note. Passing notes that resolve don’t have that smushyness. They crunch.
Dissonance is a funny thing. Often musicians stay away from it because it sounds muddy and awkward and not great, but it can at times sound quite sweet, and with skill and knowledge you can learn how to use it effectively.
It also works here because it fits with the aesthetic and Hermes’ character. We’re already in this spooky, mysterious mode. We’re in a minor key. And Jay is using all these other musical techniques to give a slightly uneasy, hypnotic feel. The dissonance feels strange- not the sweet, diatonic harmonies we’re used to hearing. This is what makes this song stand out, and what makes Hermes such an intriguing and appealing character.
There’s this “up and down” melodic pattern that occurs throughout the song in several places. While Harmony 2 is doing that, Harmony 1 is just going down, repeatedly. I find it interesting that Odysseus isn’t rising to this power, but falling to it. It hints at Hermes’ trickster nature. These musical motifs (harmony, the harpline, the synthline, etc.) go up and down and up and down and up and down like gentle waves. We’re on the ocean. It’s lulling, compelling, hypnotic. “Come hither” whispering in the ear. It’s creepy, to be honest, and shows a darker side of the song that I will talk about later.
Bridge (“Here in the root of this flower”…etc):
Jorge has talked about how this is one of his favourite bits to sing, and musically that makes perfect sense.
Firstly, you’ve gotta hand it to Troy Doherty’s amazing performance. Hermes is so expressive even without seeing him.
Quick note about vocal techniques- YOU CAN HEAR SMILES. The act of smiling changes the shape of your mouth and thus changes the quality of your voice. You can HEAR Troy break out into a smile on the line “Though it’s only for a moment, ‘til you’ve beaten your opponent”. This is also my theory as to why the line “Penelope Whyyyy, you know I’m too shyy” is so stuck in everyone’s mind. Try singing it without smiling and then try singing it while smiling. Do you think it would’ve been that catchy if Jay wasn’t such a cutie pie?
Smiling is contagious, even if you’re only subconsciously noticing it. Hearing a smile gives you that little hit of dopamine.
When we hit the bridge, the piano, bass, and backing vocals cut out. Again, it’s just drums, harp, and lead vocals. This signifies a new section of music and also does the same trick as before- drawing you into the vocalist- but this time making you focus on the melody instead of the lyrics.
This whole bit is solely in Aeolian mode. The downward motion of the bridge increases the intensity of the song, dragging you into his words, falling into the power of the root. It’s sort of a callback to the downward motion to the second harmony line.
The constant quaver rhythm of this rising and falling conjunct “stepwise” melody gives a spiralling feeling, leading downwards. The rhythm is almost conversational, which fits with a mode like Aeolian that flows like the wind. It’s also why it’s so catchy and fun to sing. I love how Jorge composes in this uncommon scale in this particular pattern to reflect this idea.
There’s also one particular detail about the rhythm of this riff that compositionally shows something even deeper:
THIS IS IN TRIPLETS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TRIPLETS SYMBOLISE IN EPIC???
RUTHLESSNESS.
Ruthlessness is usually a theme reserved for Poseidon, Act 1 Athena, and Act 2 Odysseus. You wouldn’t expect a “friendly” God like Hermes to be using it. But he is. He’s being persistent, constant. He is trying every trick in his bag to persuade Ody to take the flower.
Jay is VERY deliberate about his arrangements and his composition, so this is not a coincidence. He has established this “language” of musical voices, rhythmical voices, and motivic voices to symbolise all his characters and themes. It’s fascinating to me that he made this choice for Hermes. Ever so subtly hinting that the God might not be as benevolent as he seems.
Chorus 3:
The instrumentation of this new chorus is pretty similar to Chorus 2, except…
These DRUMS.
I asked my dad about these while I was staying with my parents over the Xmas holidays, and it resulted in a 5-minuite-long infodump about a specific type of drum used in 80s pop music (yeah I totally definitely don’t see the family resemblance at all /sarcasm). Any Brit in the audience might recognise this drum sound as sounding almost identical the intro to a show called East Enders (which I never watched, but was aware of) and idk if that was Jay’s intention, but the drums apparently have a long and complicated history, which I will give you the abbreviated version. (If this is too much information you can skip the next paragraph if you so wish, I realise this can be overwhelming)
Bass drum called the Simmons’ drum- electronic drum pad- famous for being hexagonal- they were radical in that they gave an electronic palette to modern dummers- they weren’t well-built and the very earliest ones were made from the same composite materials as police riot gear- caused repetitive strain injury that became known by session drummers as “Simmon’s wrist” because it was a bit like using your drumsticks on concrete (What’s that? You don’t think music is as intense as sport? Musicians get injured just as much as footballers do)- the sound is one of the most distinctive sounds in 80s music and entirely synthetic, generated through synthesis so some poor technician had to sit and programme a synthesiser to sound like a tom-tom- in the 90s and early 00s it was seen as cheap and over-the-top but is now looked on with a sense of love and nostalgia.
This is, of course, a sample of the Simmon’s drum as I doubt Jorge owns a real one.
So what does that do for Hermes? It grounds the song it its 80s retro aesthetic, creating Hermes’ unique stylistic voice. Jorge has described how he got the idea for Hermes’ sound when he saw a retro, multi-coloured lamp that made him think of 80s music. Each character in Epic has their own soundscape, and this very particular drum sound adds to it.
It also adds intensity to this final chorus. These loud, heavy drum sounds give that adrenaline rush that the previous verses and choruses have been building to, when Odysseus finally takes the flower.
Then we get Odysseus singing the “oOOOooOoOOhHHHhs” as he eats the holy moly, then the chorus ends, and we get a repeat of the harpline from the intro as he thanks Hermes for the help.
My conclusion:
Odysseus has made a Faustian pact with Hermes, the trickster god. While Hermes’s words are friendly with no ill-intent, the composition and orchestration lean more towards this idea of “making a deal with the devil”. Gods know the game, and how it’s played. You, mere mortal, do not. When they entreat mortals to do their bidding will offer riches, money, fame, success, magic, power, but very rarely are their motives sound.
This is Odysseus’ first taste of the magic that separates gods and monsters from mortals. He is able to fight Circe as an equal, and this new development teaches him that he doesn’t always have to be strategic and diplomatic, but ruthless and relentless as well.
I know that the fandom see Troy Doherty’s performance of Hermes as “omg babygirl so slayyyy!!!” But there’s actually a deeper level to what he’s doing here. He’s a trickster God, tempting and teasing Odysseus down a path of magic and power- giving him the first taste of something that will later drive him into becoming the Monster. Hermes is almost seducing him to the dark side, using rhetorical questions, waving the Holy Moly in front of his face and saying “Come on. You know you want it. Wouldn’t you like a taste of the power? Wouldn’t you like to be victorious for once?” In his lyrics describing a “taste” of the power being something almost like a temptation. Odysseus is breaking from his norm- using magic and might instead of logic, diplomacy and reasoning. While he’s doing it to save his men, this is a major step in his descent into monsterhood, and it’s fascinating how Jay does this not only lyrically, but musically as well, using what’s called “word painting” (music and words working together) to create the sense of hypnotism and manipulation.
Hermes is being:
Ruthless (triplets),
Ceaseless (repetition),
Persuasive (rhetorical questions),
And hypnotic (lilting, lulling melody).
He’s drawing you in, forcing you to listen to him (stark instrumentation focusing on the vocals, then increasing the instrumentation as the intensity progressively increases, culminating in this big, expressive final chorus with this pwerful drum sound)
Overall Jorge uses all these techniques to show Hermes manipulating Odysseus into taking the flower. By subconsciously making you feel the temptation that Ody- the Narrator- is feeling through music and orchestration.
So anyway, those are my thoughts on “Wouldn’t you like”. I didn’t even have time to talk about “Dangerous”- perhaps I’ll make a separate post about that but no promises. Thank you so much for reading if you made it to the end!
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demigod-shenanigans · 21 hours ago
Text
Leo And Jason DoorDash A Baby
Summary: Jason made a displeased noise as the lights came on. He said something that sounded like half a nickname in garbled Spanish and grumbled about it being late and being abandoned to sleep on his own.
“Yeah. Sorry about that, Sparky,” Leo said. “More importantly, though: look at this baby I found.”
“Can you please come to bed first and make jokes at me after?” his husband complained, yawning. “I just want to cuddle for a bit.”
“I would, but I think we’ve got more immediate problems than me depriving you of cuddles. Namely: the fact that I’m holding a child.”
“Leo, I love you, but what in the world are you talking about?” Jason murmured, finally starting to untangle himself from the blankets.
Then the little girl in Leo’s arms started crying.
Jason sat up with a start, wide awake the instant it dawned on him that this wasn’t one of Leo’s jokes. “What did you do?”
Leo looked his husband dead in the eyes and said, “I cloned myself.”
Or: someone leaves a baby at the entrance of the Waystation in the middle of the night. It’s not quite how Leo and Jason expected this whole adoption process to work, but, well… when has anything in their lives ever gone the way they expected it to?
Word Count: 7.3k
Rating: Teen and Up (just to be safe)
CWs: mentions of past traumatic experiences, since those are gone into to a certain extend (Jason is not going to be okay about finding an abandoned child when he’s been an abandoned child in the past).
I have spent a lot of time waffling with @queenjunothegreat about this concept and had a lot of fun writing it out! Ended up quite a bit longer than I expected, but I’m not complaining.
Main focus of the fic is accidental baby acquisition feat. married Valgrace, but there is also some lost trio content (Piper is having a great time during that particular Iris message, lmao), and little Emilia McLean from this fic is also here, a little older now! There’s references to that fic in this one but reading it is not a requirement to understand this fic.
———
It was 3 am, and Leo was just trying to get to the bedroom after finishing up his latest magic object repair project in the workshop. As was the case with the Waystation sometimes, he tripped out the front door instead.
That was just how it worked, living in a magic building. Sometimes it was convenient, like when someone was hurt and the Waystation made the infirmary appear in the next room, or when Leo and Calypso had needed space after their breakup and simply hadn’t crossed paths for a week. Sometimes, it was a little less convenient, like when the workshop was suddenly next to the bedroom so Jason only had to cross one room if he wanted to drag his sleep-deprived husband to bed. Once, when Leo had neglected maintenance for too long, the Waystation had dropped him into the pool fully clothed. It had an attitude like that.
Currently, Leo couldn’t think of anything he might have done to piss off the building, though, so there was probably a different reason why he’d ended up out here. 
The air was cold enough that he pulled the large hoodie he’d borrowed from his husband a little closer around himself. He realized how stupid the impulse was a moment later—he could have just upped his body temperature instead. That was sleep deprivation 1, Leo Valdez 0.
It was a night of a full moon, and between the moon’s soft glow and the street lights, Leo could see alright. No need for a flashlight or to light himself on fire. 
He let his eyes wander, trying to figure out why he’d been thrown out of his home in the middle of the night. They didn’t have to wander far. 
Someone had placed a basket beside the entrance to the Waystation. And inside that basket…
“Holy shit.” Leo pinched himself, trying to confirm he wasn’t so sleep deprived he was hallucinating the whole thing. 
Nope, the basket was still there. And that was definitely a baby. What the hell?
He kneeled down next to the basket, looking at the infant that had been left here all alone, with no one but the moon to guard her.
They were wide awake, looking at him with large, dark eyes. 
“What are you doing out here, hm?” 
He scanned the area again, trying to see if there was a parent around who’d come back to collect their baby. He couldn’t see anyone. Not that leaving a child on some stranger’s doorstep to go buy groceries or something would have been peak parenting, exactly.
The wind was bitingly cold. And if it was that bad for him, Leo couldn’t imagine basket baby was doing much better, in their thin onesie and blanket.
“Okay, we need to get you inside,” he decided, reaching out towards the basket, then stopping suddenly as he spotted something tucked underneath it.
It was a small piece of paper, no larger than a postcard. He pulled it out from beneath the basket so he could take a look at it, slowly, so as to not startle the child in the process. Words had been hastily scribbled onto the paper. 
‘I can’t care for her, but I know she’ll be safe here. This is what’s best for both of us.’ 
Leo’s heart was hammering in his chest, aching for the poor kid and whatever demigod had dropped her off here—and it had to have been a demigod. No one else would think to drop their child off at what the general public considered to be a generic event space—never mind in the middle of the night—expecting her to be safe.
Leo folded the note and put it into one of his many, many pockets. 
He hesitated again, trying to remember whether he’d washed his hands properly coming out of the workshop. He decided better safe than sorry and went for the effective, if slightly unusual, disinfecting technique of temporarily setting his hands on fire.
Once he’d put them out and cooled them back down to a semi-normal temperature, he reached out to scoop the baby up out of the basket.
Thankfully, Leo wasn’t completely useless with babies. Em, his honorary niece, was three now, but he’d held her enough times as an infant to know how this went. Make sure the head and neck are supported first, then place the other hand under the baby's bottom and lift them up carefully.
He still remembered how Piper had first explained it to him, Reyna glaring at him from across the room like she was fully expecting him to drop the baby. That had made two of them.
He’d been weeping, still reeling from the declaration that the girl was named after him—as a gesture of love and because in a world where names had power, the name of someone who’d defied death twice and found his happy ending against all odds was good luck. He’d spent so long thinking of himself as a curse that someone choosing his name as a blessing hadn’t quite computed.
“Don’t mind my lovely wife. Rey’s just nervous,” Piper had whispered to him, patting his arm encouragingly while he held Emilia for the very first time. “You’re the first person aside from us and the hospital staff who gets to hold Em.”
Leo had understood nervous, then, with his best friend’s kid snuggled up against his chest. He understood nervous now, with this small, vulnerable human in his arms. Despite knowing exactly what he was doing, he was still anxious he might hurt her accidentally. This had to be terrifying for her, and the last thing he wanted was to make it even worse.
The Waystation roulette was merciful. After walking back up the ramp with the baby in tow, Leo found himself standing right outside his bedroom door.
Thank the gods. He really needed Jason right now.
Okay, technically Emmie and Jo would probably have been more convenient than Leo’s poor husband, whose experience with babies was about the same as Leo’s own—limited to playing with Em and babysitting for Percy and Annabeth back at uni. But Emmie and Jo weren’t here right now. They were in New Rome with Georgina.
The thought of Georgina at NRU was still weird as hell. Leo had known this kid since she was seven years old. The fact that she was attending university now would never, ever, feel normal to him. 
But in all honesty, even if his foster parents had been at the Waystation right now, Leo probably still would have wanted Jason. He was pretty sure wanting your husband there was a natural instinct when one found a child on their doorstep. He’d have to ask around for reference.
Leo pushed open the bedroom door with his hip, wincing as it creaked. He’d been meaning to take care of the rusted hinges for a while, but between the dracon incident last month and an emergency pegasus landing two weeks ago, he’d been preoccupied with other fixes and forgotten about this one. He hadn’t exactly thought to account for the inconvenience the issue might cause to any babies found on the doorstep in the middle of the night.
The little girl in his arms scrunched up her face like she might start to cry.
“Shhhh. Hey. You’re okay,” he tried to soothe her, bouncing her awkwardly. “That’s what I get for prioritizing fixing the person-sized hole in the roof over some rusty hinges.”
The baby didn’t start crying, though she still looked very unhappy about the entire situation. Leo couldn’t say he blamed her.
Jason shifted in his blanket heap.
Leo wasn’t surprised he’d woken up. Creaky door or not, he almost always woke up when Leo came to bed. His husband had always been a light sleeper—all too ready to jump out of bed with his sword drawn at even the hint of a threat. Even though more than a decade had come and gone since he’d been an active member of the legion, he’d never quite managed to break that particular habit. 
Usually, Leo felt bad for waking him. Right now, that he woke so easily was a huge relief. Having to shake Jason awake with one arm while balancing a baby in the other wasn’t an experience Leo was particularly sad to miss out on. 
His husband made a displeased noise as the light was switched on. He covered his face with one arm, said something that sounded like half a nickname in garbled Spanish and grumbled about it being late and being abandoned to sleep on his own.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry about that, Sparky. More importantly, though: look at this baby I found.”
“Can you please come to bed first and make jokes at me after?” Jason complained, yawning. He patted the mattress next to him. “I promise I’ll laugh, even if I’m way too tired to understand the joke. I just want to cuddle for a bit.”
“I would, but I think we’ve got more immediate problems than me depriving you of cuddles. Namely: the fact that I’m holding a child right now.”
“Leo, I love you so much, but you know I don’t have the capacity for your sense of humor at this hour. What in the world are you talking about?” Jason murmured, finally starting to untangle himself from the blankets. 
As if on cue, the little girl in Leo’s arms started crying. Whether this was because she was hungry or cold or because the existential dread of being ditched on a stranger’s doorstep by the only person she’d ever known was starting to hit her, Leo couldn’t immediately tell.
Jason sat up with a start, wide awake the instant it dawned on him that this wasn’t one of Leo’s weird jokes.
He looked at the two of them, eyes wide as saucers. “What did you do?”
“I cloned myself,” Leo said, looking his husband dead in the eye. The joke didn’t entirely work. Her skin was a shade darker than his and the tufts of hair on the girl’s head were clearly brown instead of black.
He rocked the baby gently against his chest. 
“What?” Jason was out of bed at a speed that was honestly frightening, even for someone who had seen him go from zero to battle-ready in under thirty seconds before.
Jason looked frantic, apparently completely willing to believe Leo’s stupid joke, the obvious inconsistencies be damned. He moved to stand beside them.
“Kidding, mi cielo. I’m still working on cloning.” Leo grinned at him. He felt as terrified as Jason looked, and even now, despite the fact that he was supposed to be a semi-responsible adult and had been married for almost a decade, jokes were sometimes the only thing that helped. “I just ordered DoorDash. Not sure why they sent a baby. I’m pretty sure I just asked for fries.”
“Leo, whose child is that?” 
Okay, that was enough with the jokes. They might have been helpful for Leo, but it was obvious they were doing the opposite for Jason, and getting him even more worked up would probably not help the situation.
“I have no idea,” he admitted. He continued to rock the baby, but it wasn’t helping. She just wouldn’t stop crying. “It wasn’t DoorDash, but someone did leave her at the entrance of the Waystation with no intention of coming back.”
“Oh.” Jason’s posture immediately changed. The tension went out of his body, replaced with a kind of vulnerability Leo had only seen his husband show a handful of times. “But she’s so small.Someone just abandoned her?”
Leo’s chest constricted. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard Jason sound so utterly broken.
The parent that had left the girl here probably had their reasons—and, speaking as someone who’d spent a lot of time in the care of foster parents who hadn’t been fit for the job, sometimes not having a parent at all was definitely the preferable option.
But how could Jason have thought of anything other than the feeling of being that small, abandoned child, waiting in the woods for a mother who never came back?
Leo wanted to pull his husband to his chest and soothe him, but currently he had an armful of wailing baby, which made that a little difficult.
“Come on, let’s sit for a while, yeah?” Leo suggested gently. Jason nodded, and together they sank down onto the edge of their bed, the mattress creaking slightly as they did. “You wanna hold her for a bit?”
“I…” Jason hesitated, then nodded. “I do, actually.”
Leo very carefully handed him the baby. That made her crying even worse. Leo gulped, wondering if she thought she was being abandoned again.
“Hey, cariño, I’m not going anywhere, okay?” he said soothingly. “That’s Jason. He’s nice, I promise. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise.”
He gently poked one of the girl’s palms with his finger. She immediately grasped for it, meaning she had to be very little. He knew that because he loved being Em’s tío and had been endlessly bummed out when she’d grown out of automatically grasping his fingers at five months.
“Hey. You’re going to be okay,” Jason said to the girl, sounding almost shy. His voice was quavering as he cradled the child protectively. He looked at her with all the determination of someone who knew exactly what it was like to be abandoned and would have done anything to make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else. “I’m sorry. This is so, so much, and it has to be so overwhelming for you. But you’re safe. We’re not going to let anything bad happen to you, I promise.”
His voice cracked.
Leo wrapped his free arm around his husband, placing his head down on Jason’s shoulder. Jason was shaking.
“You’re okay, too,” Leo reminded him gently, pressing a kiss to the side of Jason’s head. “I’m not going anywhere. Expert at sticking around, remember?”
Jason nodded, smiling weakly.
“I love you,” he sniffled, leaning into Leo. His eyes were brimming with tears. “She’s so upset.”
“I know, Jase.”
Leo thought for a moment, then started humming the melody of an old lullaby his mom had sung to him when he’d been little, the words of which long since been lost to time.
Between this, Jason’s gentle rocking and Leo’s finger grasped tightly in her little fist, the baby startled to settle down, staring at them with large, dark eyes.
“There you go. That’s better. You’re way too young for that level of existential dread,” Leo joked, heart aching. “I could go find you a warmer blanket, if you want? You’re a little cold.” He tried to pull his hand back, but the second she lost her grip on his finger, she started crying again. “Or not! Maybe you’ll continue to hold my finger hostage instead,” he decided, letting her grasp it again.
She immediately quieted back down.
Leo’s tool belt wasn’t super helpful at producing blankets. It could do car covers and cleaning rags, but Leo wasn’t convinced those materials were baby-safe, so instead he leaned as far as he could off the bed without removing his finger from the girl’s little fist again and pulled a fresh bed sheet out of a drawer. Then, he asked the tool belt for scissors.
~~~
A few minutes later, Jason had wrapped the baby up in the remnants of a very wrecked bedsheet. She cooed happily, still hanging onto Leo’s hand, though he put a stop to it when she tried to stick his finger in her mouth.
“Trust me, kid. You do not want to do that. My hands are clean-ish, but you don’t know where I’ve been.” She scrunched her face up again. “Nope, I’m not budging on that. You do not need to know what oil tastes like yet. Spoilers: I’ve tried it. Do not recommend.”
He hummed at her again, which slightly soothed her offense at the terrible injustice of not getting to eat his fingers.
“I wish we had a pacifier we could give her,” Jason said quietly. 
“I’m not sure Georgina’s twenty year old pacifiers still exist, but even if they do, I don’t think they’d be any safer for her than my fingers,” Leo commented, sighing. “I wish we had something to give her, too. Her bio parent at least could have had the decency to dump her on our doorstep with some basic necessities.”
“They’re really not going to come back for her, are they?” Jason asked. He didn’t look like he was about to break down in tears anymore, but his breaths still came shakily.
“No,” Leo said, running his free hand soothingly down his husband’s arm. “The note they left made it sound pretty permanent.”
Looking at him—at the way Jason was smiling down at the child, so, so very gentle despite all his grief, and the way all three of them fit together—something in Leo’s mind began to click into place. 
Before he could decide what, exactly, that something was, Jason beat him to it.
“Can we keep her?” he asked suddenly, with no preamble or warning. He was tense, anxiety written all over his face. He continued hastily, “I know it’s not really how we planned to do this, but-”
“She’s here now. And she needs someone,” Leo finished, smiling at the fact that their minds had gone to the same place. They were like two gears in the same machine, running perfectly in sync.
Jason nodded. Some of the tension went out of his shoulders. 
“You don’t think I’m being completely ridiculous?”
“For wanting to adopt a child you met maybe ten minutes ago?” Leo beamed at him. “I mean, a little. But I can’t be making all the ridiculously impulsive decisions in this relationship.”
He pressed a kiss to Jason’s temple.
Jason smiled weakly. The grief in his expression started to melt away into something soft and almost hopeful. “So you’re saying we’ll think about it?”
That would have been reasonable. This was maybe not the sort of decision one should make at this hour of night. But Leo had never been the reasonable sort. Mostly, this had been to his benefit—if he had been reasonable, he would have been extremely fucking dead, and Jason with him.
Honestly, Leo made some of his best choices when he wasn’t overthinking things. 
Besides, considering how easily the girl had settled in his husband’s arms, and the soft way Jason was looking at him…
Well, fuck being reasonable.
“Eh, I’ve told you before that I try not to think too much. It interferes with being nuts.” Leo grinned. “So, I guess we have a kid now?”
Jason leaned forward and kissed him.
~~~
Maybe Leo should have been freaking out more. That seemed like the reasonable way to act when you’d suddenly become a dad from one minute to the next with no warning.
But apparently he’d gotten most of his frantic energy out of his system when he’d found the baby, and now that Jason was with him and they knew they’d be keeping her, the whole thing didn’t seem quite as ridiculously terrifying anymore.
When the baby started crying again—utterly inconsolable this time in a way that, from all their past baby experiences, made Jason and Leo agree she was probably hungry—he didn’t let himself panic. He briefly left his husband and the baby to go bother the nice mortal couple down the street about diapers and formula and a baby bottle, fumbling his way through an explanation about unexpectedly ending up with a Safe Haven Box baby. He figured that was close enough to the truth. 
Preparing the formula wasn’t too hard, but he was glad he had practice from babysitting.
When he got back to the bedroom, Jason was hovering—like, literally hovering a good foot above the ground—and talking to the baby in a hushed tone. 
“What in the world are you doing?” Leo laughed, raising an eyebrow at his husband.
“I don’t know. She seems to like it,” Jason told him, slowly floating back down.
The baby was still obviously unhappy, but she wasn’t crying quite as hard anymore. Huh. They'd have to put that down for future reference.
“Hey, cariño. I brought food.” Leo waved the bottle at her. “Jase, do you wanna feed her?”
Jason’s eyes gleamed. “Would that be okay?”
“I mean, it’s not like this is a one and done kind of deal. I can feed her next time. Besides,” Leo continued teasingly, “seems only fair that you take more of the baby feeding shifts. We both know I’m gonna be making most of her food once she grows out of formula and puree age. You’re a safety hazard in the kitchen.”
“You’re impossible,” Jason laughed, sitting back down on the bed and adjusting his hold on the baby to get her into a better position for feeding.
“I’m also right.” Leo smirked. “Remember that time back at NRU when you tried to make popcorn and somehow exploded the microwave?”
“That was ten years ago,” Jason pouted. 
“And you’ve since managed to fry our microwave a minimum of five times, and the oven at least twice. You are not helping your case, mi cielo.” He handed over the bottle. The baby looked at it suspiciously for a moment. “Solid instincts, cariño, but I made that one. It’s good, promise,” Leo told her, feeling incredibly smug when she started to drink.
Her tiny scrunched up face started to relax.
“There, that's much better, isn’t it?” Jason asked soothingly. 
“Look at that. A bit of Chef Leo food and she’s immediately content,” Leo announced, ignoring the fact that in this particular case, his specific input in preparing the food had been minimal. “I can’t believe she’s been with us for all of an hour and she’s already taking after you.”
His husband gently headbutted Leo in the neck, like he sometimes did. He was a fucking weirdo. 
But he was Leo’s fucking weirdo. Forever.
“Hey, it’s not our fault you’re a great cook.” Jason was smiling softly. “She’s gonna fit right in.”
“Yeah, she is.”
Leo was transfixed on the image of Jason holding their baby. Their baby. They had a daughter now. 
It was almost startling, how quickly the certainty of it had settled over him. How right it all felt. They’d been talking about adopting for a while, and it had felt more and more like it was the right time.
Her appearing on their doorstep now… it was something like destiny. 
Normally, the concept of destiny would have set off alarm bells in Leo’s head. For most of his life, destiny hadn’t been a good thing. So little of his and Jason’s lives had ever been coincidental. They’d both spent their entire childhoods tangled up in strings the Fates had woven for them.
But he figured after all the awful things he’d been destined to be—an orphan and a hero and dead—being a dad wasn’t a destiny he minded all that much.
“The note didn’t mention a name, right?” Jason asked as he put down the bottle. Leo shook his head. “Does that mean we get to choose one?”
Jason shifted the baby in his arms, holding her upright and gently patting her back to burp her. 
“Yeah. She seems very enthusiastic about being named.” Leo chuckled. “I’m partial towards Leo 2.0, personally, but between me and Em, that might get a little confusing, so 3.0 might be better.”
“Serious suggestions only, please?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Sorry, if that’s your condition you’re gonna have to find a different husband.” 
Leo flicked him in the head, still grinning, but then he dutifully redirected his attention towards the baby. He thought back to the list of baby names they’d made—a list that he’d always figured they most likely wouldn’t need, considering most adoptees came much older than this, with a name already attached. Jason had insisted they make a list anyway, just in case. Leo hadn’t had the heart to tell him no.
And, well, considering their 3 am postal delivery baby, that was a point in favor of Jason’s incessant need to prepare for all possible scenarios.
Names—especially demigod names and the power woven into them via the Fates—were kind of a huge deal, and not a decision to make lightly. He was more than glad their past selves had narrowed it down.
“What do you think of Sofía?” he asked, tilting his head at the baby. 
She cooed at him. 
“She seems to like it. I think that’s a good sign.” Jason smiled, but there was a hesitation in his expression, like there was something more he wasn’t saying.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. If you’d rather name her something else-” Leo started, but Jason shook his head.
“It’s not that. I think Sofía fits her. I just thought maybe she’d like a middle name.” He bit his lip, but then he looked right at Leo with those startlingly blue eyes of his that Leo loved so much. “We don’t have to, if it doesn’t feel right to you, but… what do you think of Sofía Esperanza?”
Leo’s heart skipped a beat.
It had taken him longer than he felt comfortable admitting to talk about his mom to Jason—to really talk about her. The good times they shared and the joyful memories and the stinging feeling of loss that still remained, despite everything.
Leo had gotten closure. He had a mother who loved him dearly, throughout life and beyond death. Jason’s mother had been such a dickhead that she’d made a point of breaking out of the Underworld to re-traumatize him. How was it fair to burden him with all this—to share his mourning for a kind of love Jason had never known?
But when Leo had finally fully shown that part of himself, Jason had held him through it, and gladly. Through the joy and the pain of it all. 
They carried each other’s burdens, the way they always had.
Jason wouldn’t have made the suggestion lightly. He must have been thinking about this for a long time. Maybe since they’d first made that list, back when the child in question had still been entirely hypothetical.
“Would that… is that really okay with you? I mean-” Leo stammered, struggling to find the words—struggling to find any words at all. His thoughts were failing him utterly. 
In his defense, it was almost 4 am, and they’d just adopted a baby on a whim. These things tended to turn one’s brain to mush even when they occurred separately.
“Of course I’d be okay with it. It was literally my suggestion, mi vida.” Jason smiled softly at him. “Besides, Esperanza means hope, right? If we’re worried about names having power, I think this one is powerful in a good way.”
And, as was the case far more often than Leo would ever admit out loud, his husband was right. They’d both learned a long time ago that hope was perhaps the greatest power of all.
“Wisdom and hope, hm?” Leo gently booped Sofía’s nose. “Guess we’re really trying to drive home the fact that you’re not related to either one of us.“ Sofía smiled up at him, catching one of his fingers in her little fist again, and Leo laughed. “Look, Jase, she’s got your reflexes.”
Her hand was warm and soft and her adorable little smile made Leo melt. 
Jason looked down at their daughter with pure adoration in his eyes. 
Oh, they were in so much trouble. Leo wasn’t sure how they’d ever manage to tell her no on anything.
On the upside: they’d make sure little Sofía Esperanza would never feel unloved a day in her life.
~~~ Leo was officially never sending a vaguely worded Iris Message again.
His first impulse had been to call Piper—because, well, it was Piper—which would have worked great if she had been awake, but that seemed like a long shot at this hour. The thing was: Piper slept like a log. When she was out, she was completely dead to the world, and if that was the case, they would be sent right to rainbow voicemail.
Going with “McLean household, Oklahoma. Just give me whoever is most awake,” had seemed like a safe bet at the time. If Reyna and/or Piper were up, they were good. If neither of them was, then they’d at least know that it was pointless to call again tonight and they’d just try again in the morning.
Except, well… Leo was currently looking at his three year old niece.
“Tío Leo!! Uncle Jason!” Em beamed at them. “I’m up!”
“We can see that.” Leo blinked at her. “Uhm, as awesome as it is to see you, could you maybe get one of your moms? Either one works.”
“But I wanna talk,” she pouted. Then she sat bolt upright. “You’re playing dolls? Without me?”
“I would never,” Leo said in mock-offense. “Also, that's a baby, not a doll.”
He shifted Sofía in his arms so his niece could take a proper look at her. Jason had handed her back to Leo when he’d gone to collect Georgina’s old bassinet from the attic that had mercifully decided to pop up next door, and Leo had been holding her since.
“A baby?” Emilia stared through the rainbow with wide eyes. “She’s so small.”
“Yeah. Babies are kinda just like that. They don’t come in too many different sizes,” he explained with a shrug. “This is Sofía. Say hi to your prima, cariño.” The baby just kind of blinked at Em, but she was smiling, which he figured probably counted. “Sorry. They don’t come very talkative at that age, either.”
Em didn’t seem to mind. She waved at the baby excitedly.
“Hi Sofía.” Her voice was full of wonder. “She’s adorable.”
“Yeah, she’s kind of perfect, isn’t she?” Jason’s voice was stupidly fond. Leo would have married him all over again in an instant.
Before anyone could say anything else, the door to Emilia’s room opened, light spilling inside from the hallway.
Leo made a little shushing noise at his niece, holding the baby just out of frame. Emilia giggled.
“Emmy, I thought we decided you were going back to sleep,” Piper’s groggy voice came from somewhere beyond the rainbow’s visual range. “Hang on, is that an Iris Message? What the-” A second later, her face appeared in the corner of the rainbow. “Leo? Jason?”
“Pipes! Hey!” Leo beamed at her. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“I say this in the fondest way possible, but I am literally going to kill you guys. I just managed to get her settled back in bed.”
“Sorry,” Jason said immediately. “It’s kind of an emergency.”
“What sort of emergency requires you to call my toddler in the middle of the night?” She looked at them incredulously “Leo, it’s four thirty in the morning. I know it’s a full moon, but can you please get your werewolf husband under control?”
“No, I cannot. May I remind you that you were the one who said if you wanted a responsible godfather, you would have picked someone else?” Leo asked with a grin. “Though, in our defense, we were technically trying to call you or Reyna. Iris just decided to be funny.”
“Uh-huh.” 
“I think you’ll probably forgive us, considering the circumstances.”
“What circumstances?” Piper narrowed her eyes, looking suspiciously from Leo to her giggling toddler, like she expected them to have hidden paint bombs across the house together.
Talk about bearing grudges. They’d only done that once. 
…okay, maybe twice. But still. 
Besides, Leo was halfway across the country right now. That made getting into trouble with his niece a lot more difficult.
“And what were you trying to call us about? Because you both seem way too cheerful for this to be an actual emergency.”
“It is an actual emergency. The good kind, though,” Jason explained, voice soft. He wasn’t even looking up at Piper. He’d gone back to smiling at Sofía. The little girl cooed happily at him.
“I don’t think that’s a thing.” Piper paused. “What was that noise?”
“Surprise! You’re an aunt now!” Leo lifted his armful of baby into the frame. “Sofía, this is Piper. Piper, Sofía Valdez.”
Piper rubbed her eyes. Then, apparently realizing that the baby was very much still there and not going anywhere, she stared at him in utter disbelief. “Leo, what the f-”
“No cursing!” Jason yelped, moving to cover Sofía’s ears.
Emilia burst into a fresh fit of giggles. “Mommy said a bad word.”
“Yeah, I did. But it’s a mommy only word, reserved for special occasions, so please don’t use it, okay?” Piper said quickly. She covered her face with her hands. 
“Okay, no saying fuck,” Em agreed, causing Jason to make a fresh offended yelping noise while Leo just burst into laughter.
“Not. A. Word,” Piper grumbled, glaring at him. 
Leo would have pointed out that technically, he hadn’t said anything, but figured that if he was planning to see his daughter grow up, he should probably leave it.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said instead, taking a few breaths to try and get himself to stop laughing. It was only semi-successful. “Emilia, listen to your mom, okay?”
“I am!” she pointed out, grinning. “No using the word. Just said I won’t.”
“Smart kid,” Leo said approvingly, which just made Piper glare at him even harder. Hey, it wasn’t his fault his niece had inherited Piper’s chaotic energy and Reyna’s ability to win political debates. His only crime was not discouraging her. 
And honestly, which decent tío would have? As far as he was concerned, she should be allowed to make use of her natural talents.
“Matters of teaching my child to curse at four thirty in the morning aside,” Piper sighed, shaking her head, “would you guys please tell me what in the world is going on? Whose child did you two kidnap?”
“She’s ours,” Jason said, completely matter-of-factly. “No kidnapping involved.”
“I’m a prima,” Emilia told her mom, beaming.
“That’s great, sweetheart.” Even through the rainbow filter, it was easy to tell that Piper was barely listening to Emilia. She looked from Jason to Leo to Sofía, wide-eyed, apparently reassessing the situation. “You two are actually serious.”
She sat down hard on her daughter’s bed. 
“Yeah. Why would you think we were joking about that?” Leo asked, shaking his head. “Gods, Pipes, I’m thirty years old, for crying out loud. Don’t you think I’m a bit too mature to prank call you at four thirty in the morning?” Despite the fact that she was obviously in shock, Piper still raised an eyebrow at him at that question. “Okay, fine, maybe I would do that, but what would the punch line even be in this case?”
“I don’t know!” Piper gestured vaguely. “Where did you guys get a baby at four in the morning?”
“Annabeth had Cooper at one in the morning,” Leo told her with a shrug. “Babies don’t exactly come with business hours.”
Sofía cooed in his arms. 
“That’s different!” Piper protested, clearly exasperated. “I saw you guys last weekend! If one of you had been pregnant, I’m pretty sure I would have known!”
“Someone left her on the doorstep of the Waystation an hour ago,” Jason explained, that same fragility from earlier creeping back into his voice. “She’s ours now.”
“Oh.” All the fight drained out of Piper in an instant. She turned to Emilia, putting a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Can you do me a favor? Can you go wake your mamá for me, sweetheart?”
“But I wanna stay,” Emilia pouted. “Sofía’s cute.”
“I know, honey. But she’s still gonna be here when you get back. And mamá’s gonna want to meet the baby, too.”
Emilia thought about this intensely for a moment. Then she nodded and climbed out of the bed. “Okay.” 
“Besides, mommy might need to use a few more curse words, and I do not want you around for that,” Piper muttered after her daughter had left.
Jason crossed his arms. “Hey, you can’t curse at our child, either.”
“She’s not gonna remember at that age,” Piper said. She looked a lot less confused and a lot more upset now. “Is she okay?” she asked, wringing her hands.
“Dunno. She had a bit of a crying fit when I brought her inside, but Emilia had a lot of crying fits at that age without you guys ditching her at a random event space, so I’m not sure that’s related,” Leo told her. He gently bounced the baby in his arms. Sofía was cooing at him again, waving her little hands around. Considering everything that had happened tonight, Leo was surprised she still had this much energy. “We’ll ask Nico if he can shadow travel Will over in the morning so he can check her over. She doesn’t seem hurt or sick, but we figured it’s better to be sure.”
“She’s really small. I don’t think she actually understands what’s happening,” Jason added. “But we’re gonna make sure she’ll be okay.” He said it in such a fierce, protective way, and Leo’s heart broke for his husband for the umpteenth time. 
“Are you guys okay?” Piper asked. She was looking directly at Jason now. “This is a lot.“
“We’re okay,” Jason said, in a way that made it blatantly obvious to both Piper and Leo that he wasn’t. “It has been kind of overwhelming, but I’m managing. Leo’s been amazing.” 
“Superman’s being unnecessarily modest,” Leo told Piper, shaking his head. “He’s doing a great job. He fed her and found her a crib and everything.”
Jason smiled weakly. “I- thanks.”
“She’s lucky to have you both,” Piper said. She still looked tired and seriously worried, but her voice was fond. “I mean it.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re amazing, and you only want to kill us a little bit for Iris Messaging your toddler in the middle of the night,” Leo said, smiling at her. 
“Just this once, you’re pardoned due to extenuating circumstances,” Piper decided solemnly. “Besides, I’m not orphaning your child.”
“Thanks?” Jason said. It came out more like a question than a statement, but his voice was tinged with amusement, and after everything that had happened tonight, that was a huge relief. “We wanted you and Reyna to be the first ones to know. And, uhm. Maybe ask if you’ve still got some of Em’s old baby clothes?”
“We do.” Piper smiled softly. “Reyna couldn’t bring herself to get rid of any of them. She’s incredibly sappy at heart.”
“Oh, we know,” Leo said with a grin. “We’ve seen the way she looks at you.”
Piper sighed contently. She opened her mouth to say something else, but she was interrupted by the sound of a door banging open.
“Em said you used a bad word and also something about a kidnapping?” Reyna asked, sounding seriously concerned. “Who are you IMing at this hour? Is anyone hurt? Do we need to send out search parties?”
She stepped into range of the rainbow, but she wasn’t looking at the Iris Message. Her eyes were firmly on her wife, their daughter clutched protectively to her chest.
“No one’s hurt. No one’s missing, either.” Piper made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. “So glad our three year old covered all the important bullet points.”
“I got mamá awake,” Em reported, yawning.
Leo couldn’t blame her. It was almost morning. He was starting to feel seriously tired, too.
Sofía wasn’t. She was still wide awake, cooing and wiggling happily in his arms. Leo wasn’t sure if that was normal, but he figured it did not bode well for the amount of sleep he and Jason would be getting going forward.
“That you did, sweetie,” Piper said, smiling at her daughter. Then she looked up at her wife. “Morning, Love. I promise it’s nothing bad, but you might still want to sit down.”
“Hi Reyna,” Leo greeted her. “So, uhm, funny story. You know how Jason and I have sort of been talking about adoption for a while?”
~~~
By the time they got off the line with Piper and Reyna, it was well past six am. Em had dozed off on her mamá’s lap more than an hour ago. Sofía was somehow still awake, though she’d been wiggling a lot less and yawning a lot more in the last half an hour. 
In the end, it took a diaper change and a second feeding session for Sofía to finally start dozing off in Leo’s arms. By then, the sun was starting to come up.
He still held her for a while after, making sure she was well and truly asleep before swaddling her properly and gently transferring her into the bassinet. The sunlight through the window was tickling his face as he sat back down on the bed with a quiet thunk.
“I can’t believe she’s inherited my awful sleep schedule. That's not good,” he joked, letting himself sink into Jason’s side. “Make better choices, kid!”
“On the bright side, you probably won’t have any trouble staying up with her,” Jason said, wrapping both arms around Leo and pressing a kiss to his curls. “We’re really doing this, hm?”
“Yeah. Weirdest adoption circumstances of the century, maybe, but we are.” Leo laughed. “Man, this is so on-brand for us. We can never do anything the normal way.”
Jason laughed right along with him—a low, rumbling sound that reverberated through Leo’s body with how close they were pressed together. Leo loved that laugh. Loved that it wasn’t the suppressed chuckle that had been Jason’s default when they met. It had been so hard to make him laugh, back then. Not that it had ever stopped Leo from trying.
For a while, they just sat there, all wrapped up in each other as the sun slowly rose on the other side of the window.
“There’s so much we don’t know,” Jason said eventually, breaking the silence. Leo didn't have to see his face to know he was looking at Sofía. “Do we have any idea what we’re doing?”
“Do any parents? Especially demigods?” Leo asked, raising an eyebrow. When that just made his husband grow even more tense, Leo hugged him tightly. “Hey. We managed to save the world when you didn’t know anything except for your first name, sword fighting and whatever vague mythology fun facts your godly stepmom decided to leave inside your skull. Compared to that situation? I think we’ve got a lot to work with here.”
“I just don’t want to fail her,” Jason said, very quietly.
“I don’t think we’ve ever failed at anything we did together.” Leo paused. “Well, at least not when it comes to anything important. Despite your best efforts, I’m still a really shitty dancer,” he amended.
“You’re not that bad,” Jason insisted, pressing another kiss to his hair.
“Right. And you’re only a mildly terrible cook,” Leo teased, still holding on tight. “We’ll figure things out, Jase. We always have.” 
“You’re probably right,” Jason sighed, sinking into him and gently nuzzling Leo’s cheek. “Together.”
“Always. You married me, so you’re never getting rid of me now,” Leo told him, failing to suppress a yawn. 
It had been a long night, but he wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.
Leo looked back at Sofía, who was peacefully snoring away in her bassinet. 
If ‘together’ meant three of them instead of two of them now… well, he was more than okay with that.
Leo had faced the end of the world with Jason by his side. He figured they could probably handle parenting, too.
———
Fic Notes:
-Sorry about the extremely silly fic title. Juno made a joke about this to me forever ago when we were first talking about this concept and it just kind of stuck.
-Fun fact: I've been working on this fic on and off since last year! I cannot believe how long it ended up being, lmao.
-Family stuff is super fun to me, and considering Jason’s was abandoned as a little kid and Leo knows exactly what it’s like to not have anyone look out for you from his later childhood and teens, I always knew they'd somehow end up adopting. Me and QueenJunoTheGreat have been chatting about Sofía forever now, and I’ve made several tumblr posts about her, so it’s a little strange that this is technically the first fic I’ve posted about her.
-This kid has a lot of lore and thoughts attached to her (as does Em, though this is technically her second fic), so if you wanna read more about her you can always just scroll through my tumblr and specifically the (specifically the “pjo next gen” tag)! -Would actually love to write some more fics about these kids, but we’ll see how it goes.
Thank you so much for reading! Comments extremely appreciated!
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sharrkbaiitcartoonz · 1 day ago
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Catra Rant! >w<
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Everything has a cause and effect. If you don’t water a flower it will die. If you tell a child their worth and literal life is based on and how much another person loves them, they will believe you. That child will learn to do anything for that person’s affection, as she was told she would be literally killed if that person didn’t like her anymore.
What she-ra does amazing at showing is how someone can do bad things, but that doesn’t make them a bad person. Catra obviously throughout the show makes many bad choices and hurts many people but that is because she was desperately fighting to make herself a title and give herself worth when Adora left.
A lot of anti-catra’s make the argument that Catra had the opportunity to leave with Adora, but let me count the times and reasons she (and you) wouldn’t want to go with her, keeping in mind how her worth was defined by her relationship with Adora her whole life:
When Adora initially left she told Catra to stay behind so she could sneak out and then from Catra’s perspective ran away with two strangers who where now her best friends (replaced Catra) and the only reason she asked her to come along was because she was there in the moment. Adora never tried to go back for her.
She went out of her way to save glimmer and bow after princess prom, but Catra damn well knew Adora never came back for her. And yet Catra still saved her from the horde and gave her back her sword. Does Adora understand why? No, does Catra even know why? Probably not consciously, but subconsciously it’s because she cares so deeply about Adora, she just won’t admit it to herself because the ways she was betrayed by Adora.
And THEN Adora (accidentally) tells Catra that Shadow Weaver abandoned and used Catra to get to Adora which sends her in a complete mental spiral and she ends up setting off the portal in a manic episode.
in the portal, Adora forcibly Tazed and kidnapped Catra to bring her to the sword with her, where her intention was good but also Tazing someone you love to force them to come with you? Not very smart, I’d be pretty pissed too.
At that point Catra was so caught up in being her own person, even if that meant being the bad guy, just to separate herself from someone who hurt her so badly. It makes sense that it took her loosing Hordak’s trust, Scorpia’s relationship, DT’s relationship, her title, EVERYTHING for her to fully understand that “oh shit I need to move past what Adora did to me and fix what greater good I can while I’m still alive”
Everything that happened to Catra was the cause for her actions. Cause and Effect. Does that make it okay? No. Does it make her a bad person? Also no.
You while reading allat:
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I’m sorry <3
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koroart · 2 days ago
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DimiClaude gets married and by some magical means or another, they have a child with both of their DNA and whatnot.
What kind of parents would DimiClaude be like with their child/children? I'm sure Dimitri would want to raise their kid(s) the same wat/similar to how Lambert raised him. Though I'm not necessarily sure if Claude would raise their kid(s) the same way his parents raised him. Like, when Claude says one of his punishments was being dragged around by a horse.
Oh, okay baby, we asking the real questions here, huh? Love it, love you <3
Under a read more cuz I've been ruminating this for a long time--
( hits both dmcl with trans-o-nator beam )
Now! Let's address something first and foremost! Mostly concerning Dimitri if we are talking about canon being applied here -- due to his trauma, there is a high possible chance that many of Dimitri's memories of his father probably would have been warped or even suppressed after what Lambert had become to him after the events of the Tragedy, which is a vengeful ghost ( in comparison to the real Lambert, who probably wouldn't want his son to live a life with vengeance as a means to keep going ) -- so Dimitri would not be able to even recall much of what kind of father Lambert was at some point during his own experience with parenthood.
Dimitri had lost his only good example of what a parent should be ( I would argue Rodrigue be counted as well but at the end of the day, he's not Dimitri's father, but I'm sure Dimitri would also draw on him for example all the same.)
Still! With what he could remember, Dimitri knew that he would have to approach parenthood with patience, understanding, and above all; love. Like his own father had to when he had to raise Dimitri alone for those first seven years of Dimitri's life. Even with what little we see of Lambert in canon, you can tell he was a good father -- he loved Dimitri very much and had so much faith in him. He also made sure to emphasize humility in his son, which is why Dimitri himself isn't your typical spoiled prince trope. Dimitri himself is a reflection of his father's love -- he's compassionate and kind and when allowed to, loving, because he had that example from Lambert. Dimitri was loved very much, so it's no surprise he ended up so vengeful and sorrowful because that love was ripped away from him.
In Claude's case -- while he is the only lord to have both parents alive and well -- from what he's said and what we can kinda see -- he's not as close to his parents as Dimitri was to Lambert.
Claude of course, does love his parents and his parents love him, Tiana loved him enough and had faith in him to let Claude go to Fodlan and make his own path in life -- and Claude seemed to be his father's favorite child among his many siblings -- his parents to me kinda felt like that, "tough love" kind of parents, if a bit emotionally neglectful ( given how distant Claude is, trust me, from one Leo to another with an emotionally neglectful parent whom I also love deeply at the same time-- you keep that shit IN )
So I definitely feel like Claude would not want to raise his child the way his parents did but he's going to struggle the most out of the two of them because he didn't learn how to be emotionally available when needed, just like how his parents probably were to him. He keeps a lot of shit in and it takes a lot of trust for Claude to be able to be so open and honest with people -- with a child that's hard to do, because a child learns from example and if he shows them that you have to earn that affection or being disciplined like he was is how a parent should love their child -- the kid is gonna end up presenting him and then they're both just gonna be at odds with each other as the kid grows up.
Which is why Dimitri is a good counterbalance for Claude -- he helps Claude be more emotionally open with their kid and Claude, in turn, helps Dimitri not become too over-bearing and let their child be independent.
Both of them together, learn to show their child love, warmth and understanding -- giving them a childhood that both of them didn't get to have. One who had that childhood innocence ripped from him with tragedy and the other living each day in survival mode. Because above all, their child's happiness is what is important.
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sweetiemiller · 3 days ago
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MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT. kind of.
Joel Miller!AU x Reader.
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hi again! so im doing it! ive read over it a million times and if there’s any mistakes please do forgive me. but here’s the full chapter of the start of my spiteful fic lmao.
kidding. im actually really excited to try something different and being embraced by a lot of you has been so great. so thank you everyone who sent a nice word or even just liked the post!
this will probably NSFW at some point. im still deciding when and how it’ll happen in the story but it’s going to be a lot of fun. the POV’s will jump around from chapter to chapter.
thanks to @highinmiamiii sending me the fic i was looking for! thank you! like i said before this fic is heavily inspired by https://www.tumblr.com/tokkiwrites/771944052123959296/game-show-hostjoel-miller-x-contestant-f
and the enjoyment of au!writing. it’s so freeing and let’s us explore characters in different ways. everyone please go read this story, it’s so good and they deserve every single bit of support.
ill stop yappin now and just post it!!
warnings— swearing. referring to killing Tommy Miller (will happen a lot), little bit of fluff for now. future warnings to come!
enjoy—
Chapter 1.
Joel’s POV—
Tommy Miller is a dead man. Joel thinks as he promises to whoever and whatever is above and below that he will personally kill him with his bare hands.
Those same bare hands that are clasped together so tight behind his back as he stands at the top of the aisle. His eyes were boring into Tommy’s who is currently standing up from his seat in the front row with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Yeah. He’s going to kill him.
The lights and the cameras are starting to make the skin on his neck prickle. The people behind the camera’s making him feel tense as his eyes flicker around the room.
He can feel jaw ticking and clenching as his eyes keep looking around the room and catching a few of the eyes of seeing the unknown bride to be’s family are staring at him too. Looking… well, friendly enough. For now anyway.
He can see their eyes scanning him.
Up and down, up and down.
From his slightly greying hair that is just sprinkling through his thick coarse hair. Right down to the black patent dress shoes on his feet that a woman named Jane from production had brought him along with this black three piece suit.
He thinks he looks good. But—
He doesn’t really care and if he was asked to give an honest answer right at this second he’d say exactly that. However, for the first time in a long time he willing to admit that he doesn’t look that rough around the edges.
Which is good, because in about 30 seconds his new wife is about to walk down the aisle.
Not legally of course. But for the sake of the show, he’s contracted to act like it is.
26 seconds.
Why Tommy thought that signing him onto goddamn Married At First Sight he’ll never understand. But the promise of a new Harley-Davidson Sportster Iron 883 and 60% of whatever income from the promotion the construction company will get from being on the show is more than enough to go along with it.
For now anyway.
14 seconds.
He just hopes whoever you are, you’re not one of those absolutely insane people who go on reality television just to cause drama. Because he will walk, cameras and contracts be damned.
He’ll buy his own Harley.
If he’s lucky he’ll get matched with someone who wants to promote their business as well and maybe they can come to some sort of agreement about this whole thing.
9 seconds.
Because who actually goes on a television show to look for love? Who genuinely believes that anyone could even fall in love under these conditions. Cameras. TV therapists. A group full of people who are desperate for their 10 minutes of fame.
It’s just not realistic.
5 seconds.
Joel snaps out his thoughts as he spots Tommy giving him a look. A look that Joel knows means, ‘Dude’, his eyes flicker back and forward before Joel realises what he’s saying. You’re coming down the aisle—
1 second.
Joel hears the doors cracking open and the music starting as soon as his eyes meet the huge white double doors at the end of the room. His hands clenching again as he keeps his focus on the door that’s opening and revealing who he is going to be stuck with for as long as he can handle in this absolutely ridiculous situation his brother has landed him in.
He see’s you walking through the doors. And he genuinely feels his breath get caught in his throat as he see’s your face for the first time.
Your eyes almost immediately meet his as you walk into the wedding hall with who he presumes is your mother. An older woman who’s eyes don’t even attempt to look at him, focused on you.
You look nervous. Terrified even.
Which, to his annoyance, makes him feel something in his chest as he watches you slowly making your way down to him.
He has to admit to himself. You’re genuinely beautiful.
And with that thought, all of a sudden he feels himself starting to panic. He realises wasn’t really expecting to find you attractive. He was fully preparing himself to be putting on his best face and foot forward during this process. His mind focused on that moment he has his first ride of his new Harley-Davidson the entire time.
But now, he’s going to have to focus on that damn bike to stop himself from doing anything goddamn stupid.
The closer you get to the bottom of the aisle, the harder he’s having to hold back a glare that is itching to aim straight for Tommy. But he doesn’t. Because he knows his pain in the ass little brother is going to have an even bigger shit-eating grin on his face now that he’s seen you.
It’s not until you’re kissing your assumed mother on the cheek and whispering something to her that he finally see’s you up close for the first time. His eyes feeling like they’re bouncing around his head as he takes you in.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph— he’s fucked.
The hair. The eyes. The nose. The goddamn lips. The white dress.
It’s not at all what he was picturing. He was fully imagining you and expecting you to go all out and look like princess cake topper. The show is paying for everything after all.
But no, you’re dressed in a long flowing silk dress. With little cap sleeves and the front of your dress making your tits look round and soft—
He has to stop.
He opens his mouth to say something, anything. But you’re already beating him to it with the sweetest voice he’s ever heard.
“I like your suit,” you say, the words falling from your lips like they were dragged out of you. Which admittedly— is very cute.
He lets a short puff of air escape his nose as he doesn’t quite laugh but, almost an amused look crosses his face as he looks down at you.
“I like your dress,” he says back, quietly but loud enough for you to hear. Or that least he hopes you do. Because he does like your dress, he likes it a lot actually, which surprises him.
He’s not a man to even care about dresses. Or anything stupid like that. A woman is a woman, he doesn’t care what they’re dressed in. But this dress on you? He’s struggling. Badly.
He watches you blush a little as you look down at your dress, running a hand over the front of it. The silk moving under your finger tips, almost hypnotising him for a moment before your soft laugh breaks him out his trance.
“Thanks. They gave my mom free reign in the dress shop,” you say with a soft, nearly genuine smile as you jut your thumb over your shoulder towards the woman who was walking you down the aisle now sitting in the front row behind you.
Ah, so he was right.
Joel smiles a little as he nods his head at your mom, being respectful for as long as he can handle this experiment.
Oh God he’s going to have to actually interact with your family.
He looks back at you, watching as your other hand is clutching your bouquet of sunflowers so tightly he’s actually a bit worried the stems might snap in half right here.
“She has good taste,” he says as his eyes travel back up to your face. He feels something twist in his chest again as he sees how nervous you look, and before he can open his mouth to give you just a little reassurance.
Knowing that the cameras and lights are probably making you just as nervous as him, someone clears their throat. Making you jump a little as his head turns almost too quickly to the sound tensing up a little until he see’s it’s just the very real officiant for this very real wedding.
God, what is he doing?
He hears her asking the both of you if you’re ready to begin and he just nods. He looks down at you and taking the chance to grab your free hand just right there. Temping him already.
He smiles a little bit as he sees the warmth spread on your cheeks and your almost wide-eyed facial expressions looking up at him.
Beautiful. He can’t help but let the thought sit at the front of his brain for a moment.
“You ready?,” he whispers to you, his own eyes going a little wide too from how fast his heart rate is going as he tightens his grip slightly as he watches you nod and breath out a soft, yeah.
He nods back as he turns back to the wedding officiant, taking a deep breath as he tries to focus on what the woman is starting to say, her very real speech.
Oh sweet Jesus, he needs to read the vows that Tommy wrote him.
This is going to be a nightmare.
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