#or he really is that unimportant in the grand scheme of all things

[alteredphoenix]

Thinking about how MHA is in its final arc and how insane it is that we still don’t know who the hell Deku’s dad is.

[rottenomelet]

yandere jjk thoughts

warning:: nsfw! i’m eighteen and you should be too! hints of kidnapping, non-con, and coercion. nothing is ever really explicitly stated but - still.

a/n: there’s no real rhyme or reason behind this - winter is just my favorite time to snuggle up and read about crazy ppl. also i wrote this in lowercase originally so u see a spot i missed, no u didnt. u can leave requests for different characters if u wanna

Gojo Satoru

In no world could I ever imagine Gojo Satoru treating you like a real human being.

He is the strongest. There is no one who could destroy him. He can see all. And the issue isn’t just that he’s the best, it’s that he’s been told that since the day he opened his bright eyes. He has a big ego and it’s justified because there is no one better than him.

And sure he’ll indulge you. He'll laugh at your jokes and console you when you cry. But in the back of his mind, in every kiss to your forehead, in every smile, there will always be a domineering aspect. Because he knows that you are insignificant in the grand scheme of the world. you are only important because he deemed you worth something.

You’re not quite a toy or a pet to him. You’re more like - an indoor plant to him. Something that needs nurturing from his caring hands, watering and sunlight granted to you by him. You adapt and grow according to his needs and his conditions. But at the same time, you are to be cherished. never handled too roughly, case you begin to wilt. You don’t have to do much but sit and be nurtured and be pretty while he gives you whatever he deems necessary for your survival.

It fascinates him, really, how simple your little life is. How much you don’t know and never will know because as a flower, all you need to understand is that water and sunlight and love are given to you before you’ll even realize that you need it.

But you still have a job to be pretty and sometimes that’s sitting on the bed, still, as he observes you or bouncing on his cock. It just depends on the day.

Geto Suguru

Suguru is a calm man, a quiet man. He makes decisions based on logic. He is not exactly one for emotional outbursts, and even at his angriest, he rarely raises his voice.

But you.

A little non-sorcerer that can’t even see curses somehow made him look twice. Little unimportant you constantly runs through his mind. What you’re doing, what you’ve eaten, what places you’ve gone to. Who you’ve talked to, who your friends are. Your hobbies, your interests. Your lips and your eyes and that special something between your legs.

Just thinking about you, even innocently, makes him harden. It’s uncomfortable, it’s infuriating, it’s maddening.

He thought, surely someone in your family was a sorcerer, a powerful one at that. But no, your family is normal. You are, genetically, as average as they come.

He doesn’t treat you softly at first, doesn’t have a mind to. You’re a filthy little nothing, after all. When he fucks, he fucks without care. Suguru treats you like a doll, not made of porcelain but made of cloth, one he can throw around and still be in decent condition. He keeps a hand pressed to your mouth, to keep your voice down. A blindfold around your eyes so he doesn’t have to look into them. Your hands are bound behind your back so you don't touch him even by accident. Flat on your stomach, unable to see or feel or say anything is how you find yourself every time. He doesn’t even come inside of you, the only thing you’re grateful for.

It’s scary, how roughly he treats you. But it’s downright terrifying when he begins to lay softer hands upon you, begins to kiss instead of bite, caress instead of pinch.

Nanami Kento

He is a very traditional and stern man.

You are, silly, to him. stumbling and bumping and in general, unsure of yourself and what to do. But he sees potential. Even when you’ve tripped over thin air or broken something by accident, there’s a certain grace to your movements. A grace he wants to harvest and invest in.

And while he wants to give you direction, he also doesn’t have the patience or time to teach you like he wants. So, it’s best to ‘learn on the job’ when it comes to Kento.

Learn how to cook his favorite meals and bake the sweets he loves just right. When he’s okay with speaking and when he needs quiet. Remembering to kiss him goodbye every morning and remove his coat for him every night.

Learn how to suck his cock right - which vein is most sensitive, when to suckle and gag and slurp, what noises to make, and remember to always always swallow. He hates messes after all.

Learn his favorite positions. The lingerie sets he like best. How loudly he wants you to be. Accept his cum in your tummy with a smile.

It’s not hard - please him and you will be rewarded. Rewarded with pleasure, with time outside, with gentle hands.

And if you stumble or forget, he will easily remind you of your job.

Mahito

You’re his personal entertainment. You’re an experiment.

Mahito is incredibly laid-back, even lazy to an extent. He lets you roam and explore and fall. He doesn’t care what you do as long as you stay within the four walls he’s placed you in.

It's hard to understand him. For a curse, he’s always laughing, finding almost child-like joy in the most odd things. Whether that’s watching an animal documentary or wondering if a human’s neck can extend like the turtles on TV.

One thing you do know is that he likes games and he likes playing with you. The only problem is you don’t when the game starts and ends, the rules or even if you’re playing right. Oftentimes, you find yourself playing a game that you don’t know the rules of and Mahito has named himself the gamekeeper.

He usually starts by asking a question. Something simple like “What time did you wake up?” or “What did you eat today?”. You find out the hard way that no matter what you say, you’re always wrong.

Say you woke up at ten? Then you’ll find yourself pressing into the mattress, drooling on your pillow as he drills you, punishing you for waking so late in the day. You had a slice of cake earlier? Then don’t be surprised when you’re in the kitchen licking icing off his cock as punishment for an unhealthy lunch.

Itadori Yuuji

He's the jock that gave you a chance. That made you feel special and pretty and popular.

He's sweet. He gives you his hoodie when you’re cold. He drives you home after school. Buys you lunch when you can’t afford it. Takes you on nice dates.

He wants you sitting front row at all his games, wearing his varsity jacket so everyone knows you’re his girl. He twirls you and kisses you in front of the whole school when he wins, the whole thing right of a cheesy rom-com.

But, surely, you didn’t think he was doing all that for free? No, he wants compensation. He deserves a reward for treating you so sweetly. It's only fair.

It doesn’t matter if you’re ‘not ready’. No, no, you’re just nervous, sweetheart. But he’ll be gentle with you so calm down. Yeah, calm down when he slides a hand up your skirt on a date to the movies. Be quiet when he asks you for head in the janitor’s closet between classes. And don’t make a fuss when he slips his cock inside of you, raw, even though you begged him to use a condom.

‘Rubbers hurt,’ he says. ‘It feels better raw’,’ he pleads. ‘Don’t worry - I'll pull out.,’ he promises.

And you better be understanding when he comes inside of you. Afterall, he’ll buy you a plan b.

Choso

Whatever you do, do not stress this man.

He’s going through enough as is. The last thing he needs from you is any attitude or ungratefulness. Even an upset face will have you with your knees pushed beside your head and Choso making you scream, all while watching you with that same tired expression.

Choso is the oldest of ten siblings. He is used to dealing with bratty behavior. He handles your tantrums with grace - once you’ve finished throwing things and screaming, he’ll only ask if you're finished. And then he will be upon you.

But, beyond punishment, he is caring and quiet. He prefers it when you speak, likes it when you prattle on about your day or your favorite show. He likes it when you’re happy.

[meanbossart]

DU seems like a secret romantic to me, and only those he cares about are allowed to see this side of him. That's why I wonder how DU said 'I love you' for the first time. How he felt about it and how Astarion reacted to it?

I really like your comics and art and hope that you stay in this fandom a little longer.

Thank you! I very much enjoy writing and drawing about these characters. Plus, BG3 (and DnD by extension) is... Seemingly a bottomless hole when it comes to lore. So I plan to stick around!

Hah, I wouldn't say he's a secret romantic - his whole character revolves around this side of himself, pretty much. He just expresses it oddly and sometimes in a way that I intend to be seen as negative (like the whole Orin situation and his co-dependency with Astarion.) Basically, he's romantic to an unhealthy degree but working on leveling it out.

Considering all the lore I got for this guy, I have surprisingly never thought of that precise moment. I think because I consider it kind of unimportant in the grand scheme of things (also I don't know about you, but the first "I Love You"s in my relationships have never been this grandiose moment like movies and books make it out to be). I know for certain that he said it first (If you don't count Astarion's "joke" confession when he's playing around and flattering you during one of his interactions, which I do not), and probably in a way that could have almost floated by unnoticed, like he just dropped it in the middle of a sentence like he had said it before a hundred times already.

And Astarion would have probably thought he was just infatuated, or being hyperbolic (and he would have been correct to a degree. I see the start of their relationship as being very juvenile, though earnest). Definitely didn't say it back at all until the cemetery scene.

Hm, I gotta think more about this one, might be something I want to turn into a comic.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

A little while ago, I saw a take about why season 2 of OFMD was "bad" that I just haven't been able to stop thinking about, because it hinged entirely around hating the ending because "they killed off the only well-developed character."

This has haunted me, because I have been completely unable to understand how you can watch the show and come away with that criticism. I've talked before about how everything about Izzy reads more coherently when you understand that he's just really not an important character in the grand scheme of things (he's important to Ed's overall story, but in terms of the narrative itself he's not a major player). He's there to be a voice for toxic masculinity, pull Ed back into this lifestyle that's killing him, and then start getting better as proof that Stede's way of doing masculinity is best. And because he is the very definition of a side character, I struggle to think how you even get the idea that he's somehow better developed than our leads or even other side characters, because even Lucius has more of a backstory than Izzy does and once Izzy ceases to become that mouthpiece for toxic masculinity, his personality kinda becomes just bland, swear-y abrasiveness (which is honestly fine, I think, he doesn't really need to be more than that because he is, again, relatively unimportant).

Izzy is played with conviction and depth. This is because Con O'Neill is a good actor who presumably puts a lot of thought into his performance - this is true for most actors on the show. Very talented bunch. But while Izzy is interesting, he's often interesting in terms of what he can tell us about mostly Ed but other characters as well (the crew save him as proof that Stede has influenced them and then help him mostly as a team-bonding exercise, for example). And Izzy has very few traits that aren't shared by other characters. Pete had a very similar arc about unlearning toxic masculinity in s1. All we know about Izzy is that he's a good swordsman, he's honestly a very shit sailor, he was power-hungry but then chilled out a bit, and he likes to say "fuck" and "twat" a lot. He fulfills his narrative purpose but I'm not sure I would call him a very well-developed character, much less the only well-developed character in the entire show.

I have tried so hard to give this interpretation the benefit of the doubt, but I genuinely think the only way you could think this is if your sole exposure to the show is through the way we know a not-insignificant portion of canyon folks watched it, which is through fan compilations of only the scenes with Izzy in them.

And I'm not really sure where that leaves us. There's a small but not insignificant portion of this fandom who engage with the show purely through the lens of one side character - and not even just a side character, but one who very frequently and unsubtly gets the events that actually happen very wrong to suit himself, especially where Ed is concerned. And now we have a situation where "gentlebeardies" (read: fans of the show as written) will sometimes be unable to talk about the actual text of the show because there's an insistence that this be treated as a valid interpretation and not just a reading-against-the-text exercise, and I'm not sure where that leaves us.

[sydmarch]

for a couple days i've been wanting to post about the coin operated viewers & my thoughts there but kept getting distracted by other writing until earlier today @frogean asked me about my thoughts on the fishing village wrt; why would evrart gentrify a village full of people who can't afford to live elsewhere when he seems to genuinely care about martinaise, is the thing with the signatures just a ploy to see if harry's trustworthy, etc. & since thoughts on the fishing village tie back into my thoughts on the coin operated viewer i'm just gonna make one big post on both topics.

quick note before i start rambling here: the point of this post is NOT to come to a "evrart's actions w the fishing village good" or "evrart's actions with the fishing village bad" conclusion or to justify said actions. i'm strictly interested in digging into evrart's motivations behind it all & what i imagine was going on in his head while making these decisions.

first - to discuss why evrart involves harry in this whole thing. yeah i do think it's pretty likely that it IS primarily a test of his trustworthiness. I get the feeling that if the signatures were really as central to evrart's plans as he makes them out to be he would NOT leave it to harry to take care of it (even if we assume the most cooperative w evrart version of harry) just wouldn't see him him truly trusting a cop with a task like that ESPECIALLY not when kim's involved and evrart is very obviously aware that kim does not trust him. & harry is very well aware of the possibility that evrart is playing him:

as for why evrart chose this errand specifically as a test for harry, i can't say definitively. maybe this task was chosen because in addition to being a good general test of harry's trustworthiness, evrart wanted to get a real idea of what harry's opinions on this plan are? maybe the signatures really aren't actually important in the grand scheme of things like logic suggests? maybe the signatures are only unimportant because evrart has the letter intercepted? he does explicitly state he's friends with the mail man

so it could very well be the case that if you forge the letter he DOES know about it but doesn't let on that he knows (i feel like it's very likely he knows about the forgery especially, if doom spiral signs it out in the open rather than harry passing the forgery check & doing it in private??). also worth considering where you're mailing it to:

like it's going to evrart's account, not some neutral third party. so any of those things could factor into why he sends harry on this errand. I think it's more likely that if he REALLY just needed the signatures that evrart would've had some of his union guys get on it - although there's also the possibility evrart decided having rcm officer ask for the signatures on his behalf could be advantageous to getting the documents signed. another possibility is that evrart picked up on harry's can opening abilities & thought that having not just an rcm officer but HARRY specifically on the task might be advantageous, in addition to being a good test of his loyalty with those failsafes in place for if harry betrayed him on this one. so yeah i do suspect it WAS at least partly/primarily a test but don't feel like i can say FOR SURE if that's all there is to it & would be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this topic.

second - to get into the village situation itself & the coin operated viewer. throwing this screenshot up for some context:

I think it's really interesting how kim disapproves of evrart interfering with this "revitalization project" while also disapproving of evrart's actions with the village (again it all comes back to kim just implicitly distrusting evrart but i find the above especially interesting):

not going to rehash my thoughts on evrart's feelings about/intents for martinaise as a whole here even tho it's relevant to bear in mind but one aspect of that topic i DO think is worth mentioning specifically when it comes to discussing evrart's plans for the fishing village is that (if we take him at face value with the following, & for the purposes of this analysis i'm going to go with that interpretation) yes, evrart IS planning to use the construction noise to push the residents out of the village, but he isn't doing so thoughtlessly or without a plan on where they will end up:

& i DO believe this is his genuine intent because it's in line with his characterization when you consider how he keeps rene, gaston, & leo on the payroll. especially rene where he doesn't just keep him on the payroll where so that he can get by without his pride being wounded too much - he had the guard booth built specifically for rene. it wouldn't make sense for someone who DOES look out for members of his community to this extent to not extend similar consideration to the villagers.

i don't think evrart views his actions with the youth center as gentrification (again i will not be discussing if it actually IS or not - all of this is just my speculation on evrart's own interpretation of things) at least not in the same way that i imagine he viewed the revitalization project in '49. from evrart's perspective he grew up in martinaise, knows everything about the district, has the best interest of the people at heart etc, so why WOULD he allow some design studio to come in and start putting up tourist attractions?

i mean, they're putting up coin operated viewers & that horse statue meanwhile people are living in buildings on the verge of collapse? that kind of revitalization in all likelihood WOULD lead to gentrification and displacement. evrart doesn't want the people living in the village displaced - he wants them properly housed, to have prospects, to live in a district that's more than just a post war ruin. now whether he's actually going about achieving that the right way or not & if the villagers would agree with him here is a whole different topic but yeah.

[heartcircus]

kab saying zam talks too much so that like . she's getting wayyyy too much info from him but literally all the shit he said was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. obviously the conversation was more beneficial to her than it was to him, but i dont really think he gave out anything too too important ??? unless im crazy

[thespoonisvictory]

I will never not be so enamored with Colin and Deli's respective epilogues, and how they wind up in opposite places from where they started but in a way that feels so inevitable and natural. Colin is emboldened by what he's experienced, and goes on to live a life of hunting down cultists to stamp out what's left of SP. Deli is completely crushed, and lives a life in solitude from society, unable to pick up the pieces and feeling undeserving of any power or station.

Not only do they end up where the other started in (hiding from the world vs actively seeking it out), it's from the same realization! They both realize how small and unimportant they are in the grand scheme of things after Saprophos, the FDA, etc. But for Colin, this is a call to action: he's been hiding from potential danger, but as he says to Deli, the secret he thought was so important really didn't matter at all. There's no point in living your life terrified of ever being caught (then they've already caught you, haha), so you might as well do something that matters while you can. For Deli, it's the realization that his grand idea of destiny and deservedness was fully, just, wrong. The things he did because he felt he deserved power meant nothing because he ultimately didn't mean very much in the grand political scheme (as Ariana points out).

The realization that the world is so much bigger than you can be crushing or freeing, and I love love love the dichotomy of that in Colin and Deli.

[agentnico]

Longlegs (2024) review

His legs aren’t THAT long, jeez.

Plot: FBI Agent Lee Harker is assigned to an unsolved serial killer case that takes an unexpected turn, revealing evidence of the occult. Harker discovers a personal connection to the killer and must stop him before he strikes again.

Before we get to the movie itself I must applaud Neon for giving this film such a stellar marketing campaign. Most common complaint about modern day trailers is that they show too much of the movie. They’re essentially summaries of the entire film, giving away every major set piece, with the whole narrative showcased from beginning to end, leaving little to the imagination. Makes one wonder why even it’s worth seeing the actual movie when you’ve already essentially been spoiled. Hence why Neon’s advertising strategy for Longlegs stands out so much. Throughout the last half of the year they have been releasing small 10 second untitled cryptic teaser snippets that intentionally left the premise vague, as discontinuous editing was employed to display snapshots of brutal murders, ominous world building and nightmarishly surreal images of primal fears including snakes and blood. In fact, those teasers didn’t even show the film’s title, just the release date. Then there were the billboards that had a phone number that, if you called, you’d get to hear Nicolas Cage. Speaking of Cage, again the teasers don’t really show him at all, allowing for the build up of his mysterious character to be left till the audience were in the cinema seats. Then when the early reviews came out, praises were hailed as well as comparisons to Silence of the Lambs, so naturally expectations were high.

Unfortunately, the truth is much more disappointing: Longlegs is just another run-of-the-mill, albeit well-executed, serial killer film. It’s evident that director Oz Perkins took inspiration from the aforementioned Silence of the Lambs, as well as the ambiance and possession themes of David Lynch’s iconic series Twin Peaks. However unlike those films there is a lack of urgency or mythos here, with the FBI agent feeling somewhat unimportant to the grand scheme of the story, and Maika Monroe’s acting is as plain as a cardboard. That shtick worked for her in 2014’s thriller The Guest, as there she played a moody teenager, however in Longlegs she simply comes off wooden. Look, all I’m saying is she’s no Jodie Foster. There too is a lack of backstory or explanation in regards to the supernatural elements, and I feel like the film wouldn’t have hurt having an extra scene or two to delve deeper into Longlegs’ powers and his origins.

I love Nicolas Cage. He’s one of the greatest actors working today, and truly is one of my favourites as he manages to elevate any film he is in to another level. As Longlegs he is fantastic. They use his expressionistic style of acting very cleverly here, by making him quite over the top with his voice, but done is a creepily eerie and weird way and scenes with him are great. However, as per the marketing and the first half of this movie, Longlegs is mostly hidden from the view of the audience. We see corners of his face or him blurred out in the background, and I feel like that mystery added to the hidden uncomfortable nature of his character. So when we do finally get to see him, Cage is on top form however the make-up department have given him this mask to wear and it looks really cheap. Evidently they had a limited budget with this film, but that’s why the technique of showing a bit less worked more than showing the entire thing, as he does look kind of goofy. Also, Cage is really under-used here. Already mentioned about the lack of backstory, but also in general he’s only in maybe 3-4 scenes but isn’t allowed space to delve too deeper into the demonic mindset of this character.

I do appreciate Oz Perkins’ directing style, as the cinematography was solid and he has some fun with changing the aspect ratio throughout the film to create a sense of claustrophobia, and each scene is filled with that unsettling sense of paranoia, however the movie does suffer from a slow overdrawn pace, and the central mystery in reality is so predictable you can guess what’s happening a mile away. Then when the movie ends fairly abruptly, there’s definitely a lack of satisfaction when it’s over.

It does feel that due to the effective hyped up marketing and the comparisons to Silence of the Lambs have built this movie up to being something truly spectacular, when in reality it’s an okay serial killer flick with elements of the supernatural that has moments of greatness, primarily due to Nicolas Cage, even though, again, his legs aren’t even that long.

Overall score: 6/10

[im-a-simp-for-my-ships]

I've been seeing a lot of posts talking about the upcoming election, and that because of the atrocities happening in Palestine, which are genuinely horrific and need to stop, that voting for Biden is the same as voting for Trump, because they're both terrible people, Biden doubly worse because he's put the US on Israel's side. I'm not Palestinian, I can't even imagine the horrors they're going through and do not deserve. Palestine deserves to be free, full stop.

And to be supportive of a free Palestine may mean not siding with either Trump or Biden, but for me, yes, Biden is no better on this policy than Trump would be, I honestly think if you're the president of the US, no matter who it's been, there's never been a policy that I can remember that's made the middle east a better place, or hasn't been selfish in nature. The US's policy towards Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan, for instance, has never been a policy of peace or support for the people who have to live under oppressive/muderous regimes. So I don't care if it's been Carter, Bush, Clinton, Obama, Trump, or Biden, the innocent civilians in those countries will always be canon fodder and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

But as someone who is a citizen of the US, while I can hate what my country is doing with their foreign policy, I also have to worry about what happens HERE. With women's rights, lgbtq rights, minority rights, voting rights, the list goes on.

If Republicans gain control of the White House again, if they gain control of congress, we are done. That's it, game over. Trump and his cohorts have made it abundantly clear that if they get it back, they will do everything they can to never give up that power up again. And if you don't think they' have the balls to do it, just remember January 6th.

If you think roe v wade repeal was bad, just look at what else they've done to reproductive rights on the state level, imagine if they could ban abortion or other reproductive services on a federal level! Don't forget the book banning here, anti lgbtq laws there, and it can't be missed that the Supreme Court, which is full of Trump appointees, have shown that they're not afraid to throw the constitution or precedent under the bus and rule according to their own, and right wing MAGA, whims!

So yes, it may seem contradictory on my part, to say I'm pro Palestine but still voting blue across the board, and I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for saying any of this, but for me, and this is partly selfish and partly for the future of so many different communities in the US, if there is no difference in foreign policy between Trump and Biden, there at least is an EXTREMELY BIG DIFFERENCE in domestic policy when it comes to rights for the people who live here too.

If anyone really thinks those with a MAGA mindset are no different than the party that doesn't actively want to take away reproductive rights or want to protect our right to vote or don't want to make trans people disappear, then I'm sorry, your rightful indignation at what's happening to the Palestinian people is making you forget what can happen to you, your family, your friends, and strangers across this country if Trump and his cohorts win this upcoming election. And I understand why, because the genocide that's happening is beyond atrocious, and the country I live in is playing a part in it. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel that you can want the atrocities to stop, to care about what's happening, but also care about what's happening in your own backyard, in your own country too.

Remember, no one thought Trump could win, and he did. And he did what we all feared. He pushed through like-minded people into one of the most powerful institutions in this country, and they reversed a nearly 50 year old ruling protecting the right to choose. Then they took Affirmative Action. And even though state law prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation, they ruled in favor of homophobes who don't want to create sites for same-sex weddings. And as of now, they'll be hearing cases on access to medication for abortions, and emergency abortion care at hospitals. Who knows what else will land at their feet next, and who else they may try to appoint if an opportunity comes to get another one of his people in there.

This got way too long, but I wanted to get out my feelings on this. I know this is not a both sides issue, just like reproductive rights are not a both sides issue, or racism isn't a both sides issue.

Palestine deserves to be free. Palestinians deserve to live a life without fear of death and persecution. They deserve to live, period.

I also can't ignore what happens here either. So I will continue to vote blue no matter who, because that's what I can do right now, and that's the only choice I feel I can make with the shitty cards we've been dealt.

[synthetickitsune]

hello I’d like to request soohyuk and angst prompt #22 (hint hint break up?? joking, only if u want to) the fluff and the (m) for his works are lovely but i thrive off angst so 😈

you and me both anon ♡

Lee Soohyuk | Words left unsaid angst | 0.7k | gn!reader

It’s here again.

He closes his mouth upon realizing that the words he wishes to say would only reach his own ears. So instead he ups the volume of the music and focuses fully on the road. His knuckles are white on the steering wheel. It’s hard not to get annoyed with himself, but that’s life. He should’ve told you when he had a chance.

Admittedly, this was a mess Soohyuk got himself into. He’s the one avoiding you, stubbornly, despite the fact he’s perfectly aware of his childish behavior. Nothing really stops him from calling you right now and telling you what’s at the tip of his tongue. Then again it still is tender, a healing wound that aches when the weather changes. And it hurts to know you’ll get it and, perhaps, be there when he’s ready and act like he never ignored you.

He hopes he can get over it one day. You deserve better - you’re more than just a past tense in his life. He wants you to be.

And there he goes again - another thing enters his mind, something you asked him a long time ago but that he didn’t have an answer to then. 

It used to happen a lot in those days. You'd ask him something and Soohyuk would be caught off guard or he would have no idea about the answer, no opinion on the matter. (You always introduced him to new things, something he never paid attention to before. He misses that.) Or he'd want to tell you a story, only to be interrupted by a phone call, or his manager walking into the room. 

There are many promises he broke, but the ones haunting him still are all the stories he promised to tell you later. It's unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and he wonders if his refusal to interact with you right now has anything to do with his friends laughing at him when he drunkenly rambled on about this exact topic. But to be honest, it matters to him. It's rare to have someone's undivided attention all to yourself, to have someone actually listen and care, and you were that rare person.

He worries that all that he is is just that - selfish and lonely. Greedy for someone’s attention, your attention, that would never stray away. It felt safe talking to you, being with you. Without judgment, without pressure. You still are his best friend, so why is he like this?

His jaw clenches painfully and unclenches. He’s not ready to talk to you, but maybe a text? Would it be too strange to shoot you a random message out of nowhere? You used to do that all the time, albeit in the past that’s at the same time fresh and yet it feels like years ago.

Soohyuk keeps pondering over it the entire day until tomorrow is only minutes away. Cocooned in his bed, he’s hiding away from the world, from life, as if it could make the seconds stop ticking by. He’s staring at his phone screen, your chat window opened. Would it be pathetic to text you? He isn’t sure about the rules, about what’s appropriate. You used to do it so naturally, but that was back then…

He tries giving himself pep talk, tries to manipulate himself into thinking this is the exact opposite of pathetic because talking to you like nothing happened would make it seem like he’s over you already, right? He tries logic - it would make him feel better to talk to you. Hell, he even texts a friend to get a second opinion. If only he would respond…

He tosses and turns without any rest for his eyes, his mind, or his heart. He wants to talk to you. But he doesn’t want to be the one doing it. If there was a way he could turn the conversations with you that he has in his head into reality, a memory that he could enjoy, he would take it in a heartbeat. 

Finally he closes his eyes. He can’t do it after all. Blindly he locks his phone and puts it away on the nightstand. He sighs, and the sound resonates in the empty bedroom. You always used to hug him from behind and just hold him wherever he did that. No matter if there was something on his mind or not, you always cared. He misses that.

Was what you had really that bad?

He knows now is not a good time to think about it. But Soohyuk allows himself tonight to wallow in his loneliness and memories of you anyway.

[anonymous-dentist]

Hi AD, sorry but I can be a bitch for a second in your inbox… I made the mistake of going on Twitter and searching to see what people think about Phil and Q being the only ones so far to have unique tickets, first tweet I see ‘ if it’s not about them being birds the only connection I can think that they both have is q!Wilbur’, I see people in the replies say that means the next arc will center around Wilbur, I close Twitter, muffled screaming.

Ah yes…… Phil and Q have unique tickets because WILBURS gonna have a major arc… YEP… nothing to do with those two at all clearly it’s about WILBUR…

They couldn’t even fucking let q!Quackity’s amnesia be about him no it was all ‘oh no he won’t remember Wil!!!’ Or ‘ dw guys hell see Wil and all his memories will come back!’ Even though not even seeing Richas, photos of Tilin, or all the other people he’s known on the island for longer then he’s actually known Wilbur has done anything for him!!!!! Can his own fucking ticket be about him please!

Like man I get missing your favorite pov, I miss Luzu so much but like… cmon man… Maybe just maybe Q and Phil’s tickets are about… them… and not anyone else!

Okay I’m done. Sorry Im rly tired, angry that I’m working on my day off, and had to let that out, anyway I hope you’ve been having a good October so far!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I’ve seen that too and it’s pissing me off lol. But don’t worry, it’s just people trying to cope with the fact that their special little guy wasn’t the center of Kameto’s Really Cool Event the other day and trying to deal with the fact that q!Wilbur Soot is as unimportant in the grand scheme of things as a grain of sand in the desert.

They’re saying that Wilbur is coming back this month which is. Not confirmed? He said he might be back in October. Meanwhile he just got back from a huge tour and they’re already working on new music in the band and he has another tour to get ready for in December and he’s going to need to film Sorry Boys at some point and he’s more likely to do a just chatting stream about the tour than the qsmp. So.

But it’s just like the sbi and tntduo twitter stans to ignore actual lore in canon of a relationship that isn’t like. Real. (Looks at q!tntduo, which was never canon) (Looks at q!Wil and q!Phil being family in that Wilbur immediately decided Phil was his dad on the train and Phil going along with it and this only becoming canon as soon as q!Wil realized he needed someone to leave Tallulah with and them never expanding on it, thus leaving it as just a self-assigned Father Son dynamic)

Like sure guys keep discrediting the actual ccs active lore (Phil being a known immortal that the Feds 100% needed to get under control by any means necessary) (Quackity’s Entire Lore So Far?????) to perpetuate highly fandomized relationships with a guy with as much canon relevancy as a graham cracker.

[mwolf0epsilon]

The Umbaran Pathogen - Day 29: Bargaining

Summary: Negotiations were often Obi-wan's forte when it came to resolving issues in a diplomatic manner. In these circumstances however, he doesn't know if taking Umbara is really worth the trouble... Not with everything that's come to light.

Warning: N/A

Dogma's design should give you an idea of what Cody currently looks like!

Prev / Next

[In which the events on Umbara are worsened by an unknown pathogen taking hold of both the 501st and 212th. These series of drabbles will follow a non-linear timeline based on the AI-less Whumptober prompt list for 2023.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

---

With communications reestablished, things had started going a little smoother. Enough so that, in the end, Obi-wan was forced to face the facts. Especially given the evidence Tacet had brought to him on such short notice.

This entire campaign had been a setup of the most treacherous kind.

Unlike with the incident with Sargent Slick however, the clones had not been the ones to perpetrate any of the sabotage that the Jedi had begun to investigate. Instead, what had started as a simple line of inquiry while he regained some of his strength, soon becoming a much deeper scrutinization of everything that had gone wrong after the 501st and 212th had gone their separate ways.

It had not escape his notice how all things inevitably led to Anakin's departure and Krell's arrival. The timing coinciding far too much for it to be mere chance.

And wasn't that a troublesome thought?

A Jedi Master of Krell's caliber suddenly going rogue without the Order noticing. It bare not think at all. Especially when it made some previous incidents that had easily been overlooked as innocent, take a much darker tone when faced with such damning evidence.

All those casualties, that waste of life, a warning that had gone horrifically unheeded...

Minute by minute, the overwhelmingly excruciating torment of unraveling all of the Council's accidental negligence left Obi-wan feeling weighted down by guilt. The facts had been right there. The Jedi had simply not seen them... So focused on the war efforts that they'd become somewhat complacent. Semi-willingly ignorant of things that seemed unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

When had they stopped paying attention to the suffering of others? When had they forgotten the core values of the Order? When had it become so easy to turn a blind eye?

He wasn't sure and was honestly mortified to find out just how deep the rabbit hole might go. But there would be talks of this once he got back to Coruscant. There would be measures put in place, once he managed to arrange a meeting with the other Council members. This sort of abuse of power could never come to pass ever again.

But first, Obi-wan had to deal with current affairs on Umbara.

Starting with weighing the pros and cons of carrying on with this particular campaign's goal of establishing control over the governing forces, before Umbara broke away to join the Separatist movement. A goal he did not particularly agree with, and which was honestly starting to feel less like something the Republic should strive for.

Peace should never be built on a foundation of violent oppression and takeovers. Diplomacy should be the first choice not the last. And, mulling over everything that had recently transpired in the world of politics, the Republic was starting to feel less like a benevolent union of worlds and more like a playground full of angry younglings that could not decide who was or was not a friend or foe...

The Chancellor certainly hadn't been making it easy to find common ground that anyone could work with to reach a peaceful conclusion of this war. Passing bills that, while outwardly seeming beneficial to all, came with long lasting effects that aggrieved both the Republic itself, GAR and anyone else caught in the crossfire.

And after he'd summoned Anakin away to do Force only knew what, he'd certainly made the efforts on Umbara all the much harder to endure. Not counting the parasitic take-over.

But those were not sentiments he could freely talk over comms. You never knew where those recordings and transcripts might end up, after all...

"I wish I had been down there with the men..." Ahsoka's pitiful sadness was easy to spot, even over the choppy holotable quality, as she processed all of what he'd been able to tell her thus far.

"Sincerely Commander Tano, the men and I are glad you aren't involved in this mess." Cody shook his head, voicing what Obi-wan himself had been thinking. That he was glad his Grand-Padawan was safely away from these horrific events. Away from both Krell's actions and the parasites that had so easily overwhelmed him, prior to discovering their susceptibility to mind tricks. "If you'd gotten hurt or worse, killed, none of us would have been able to forgive ourselves."

"Not to mention Anakin would certainly not take the loss well..." The bearded Jedi added, being more than a little aware of his ex-Padawan's very specific faults.

It's not that he thought his brother to be anything but kind and caring. Far from it, Anakin definitely cared for the well being of others. Sometimes a little too much. Which was often the root of many conflicts between himself and others, who had an easier time letting go of what upset them.

Well, that wasn't entirely true either. Guilt was something no Jedi could shrug off very easily. The weight of one's responsibilities as a guardian of peace was often crushing, especially if a mistake that yielded terrible consequences was made. Processing negative emotions in a positive constructive way was a challenge all beings went through. The Jedi just had to be extra mindful due to their extraordinary abilities. Which was why it was imperative that, should one find themselves beginning to lose sight of the light, that they seek the help of both their support network and a Mind Healer.

Something which Obi-wan himself was not entirely good at, at times. And something he'd never seen Anakin do outside of talking to Padme. He never pushed, not wanting to seem hypocritical, but perhaps he should also look into having a talk with his little brother after all of this was done and dealt with.

"I hadn't thought of that..." Ahsoka admitted as she lightly gnawed on her bottom lip, clearly worried about her Master's reaction to... Well, all of this mess. His battalion was worse for wear, and his men would likely need some time to be able to trust the Jedi again, once it came to light that Krell had been trying to get them all killed on purpose.

Not to mention the state of those who'd been infected...

"It bares not thinking." Obi-wan nodded in understanding. "Especially when we are still in the middle of this conflict..."

"If we can't wrap things up soon, I fear it'll only get worse..." The togruta crossed her arms, looking over her shoulder at two of the men who'd joined her for the call. Two veterans, Nax and Attie, who flanked her sides and listened to the conversation with solemn expressions. "The Umbaran forces have initiated several dogfights, and we haven't been able to send any supply ships as a result..."

"The pilots are starting to look a little worse for wear." Nax added, voice grave as he put emphasis on the main issues they were trying to deal with. "Many of the ships are down for repairs, and exhaustion is slowing down our best fliers..."

"Only way I see this going well is if the Umbarans called for a ceasefire... But, seeing as they're unwilling to give in so easily..." Attie sighed, clearly not believing this would end well. Even with the capitol in their hands, the enemy forces were not deterred by such intimidation tactics. "We have no idea what to do sir..."

"This is indeed a problem..." Obi-wan conceded as he stroked his beard in thought. Trying to figure out what the best course of actions might be.

Negotiations were often Obi-wan's forte when it came to resolving issues in a diplomatic manner. In these circumstances however, he doesn't know if taking Umbara is really worth the trouble… Not with everything that's come to light.

It might be that retreat was really the only solution, even if it would label them as cowards in the eyes of the Republic.

"Sir..." Cody went to put a hand on his shoulder before freezing, the aborted motion causing everyone on call to pause and look towards the Commander who's expression began to twist in pain. "A-ah..."

"Cody, are you alright...?" Ahsoka softly asked while Obi-wan frowned at the worrisome change.

"...I... A-ah..." The mutated trooper shook his head, expression pinched from clear discomfort and pain as he shook. His tremors so bad he stumbled and ended up on the floor. "I̵ ̵t̴-̴t̶h̸i̵n̴k̴ ̵I̶.̵.̴.̶"

"We're running out of time..." Obi-wan hissed as he knelt by the shaking trooper, realizing immediately what was going on with his friend. The parasite was beginning to wake back up. "Ahsoka dear, we'll have to cut our conversation short for now. The men need me... I will... I will think of something by the time of our next talk. Stay vigilant until then, would you?"

"I... Yes Master." She bowed quickly. "Take care."

As soon as the holo cut off, Obi-wan helped Cody back onto his feet and helped him to sit on one of the crates instead. He could see the way his second in command was struggling against the parasite as it regained its bearings. Trying to get him back under its control.

"I̸-̸m̴ ̵s̸o̵r̸r̷y̶ ̴s̴-̵s̶i̵r̸.̴.̸.̵ ̷I̸.̷.̸.̶.̸"

"There's no need for apologies, my dear Cody. This is not your fault." The Jedi reassured, all the while taking deep breaths himself and trying to steady his own mind. He needed to focus if he wanted to keep Cody in control of himself. "I should have not expected this to last much longer..."

Cody grunted in reply.

Whether from the pain or to acknowledge the fact, he couldn't tell. Instead he focused on clearing his mind before kindly requesting that the parasite go back to sleep. It took a minute for the commander to look a little less pained, as the creature's influence faded once more.

"Thank you sir..." Cody sighed in relief.

"Think nothing of it. Were you in my position, I am sure you would have done the same." Obi-wan smiled fondly as he noted the way his friend tilted his head. No doubt rolling his eyes.

"If I were in your position..." Cody mused. "I would have stunned you."

"Hm, very honest of you." The Jedi chuckled. "Even if a little rude."

"Seventeen raised me too well."

With one less thing to concern himself with (for the moment), his mind wandered back to the more pressing matter of deciding on what to do. And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit him.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do was to look towards the simpler option. Even if as a whole, the Republic might not like his choice.

"....I think I know what needs to be done." He sighed, looking to Cody with slight resignation to the consequences that may follow. The way the other might see him afterwards. "But it will definitely spell failure on our end..."

"Depends on one's definition of failure." Cody remarked, looking to him with mild curiosity as he massaged his aching temples. "Will there be further casualties?"

"Not if it goes as I expect it to."

"Then I'd say it's worth a shot." Cody crossed his lower arms, seeming satisfied with the answer. "What will you need?"

"Direct communication with the Umbaran Generals..." Obi-wan responded calmly, already beginning to organize his thoughts for what he was sure would be a rather long debate. "It's time to bargain for ceasefire. For the sake of our men..."

The Republic would not take this loss kindly. But perhaps the Umbarans might be more merciful in return.

After all, victory should not come as a result of such tremendous loss nor moral bankruptcy. And considering the state of both battalions and the fear the locals had of the parasites they were infected with, surely they could reach a mutually beneficial understanding.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

I will also acknowledge Greg and Tom are doing things together, they are clearly scheming and plotting and frankly circling the bowl together, so it's not like nothing is going on with them. they are attempting to make moves (tho idk where they're going with it. Lmao.)

and, I don't agree that Tom seems overly annoyed by Greg or no more than usual. but it's simply not as funny or engaging as it used to be. Previously the intrigue with them was wondering if a scene would become insane out of nowhere, but now they just. talk. The crying phonecall in 4.3 was a nice moment and it was funny in 4.4 when Greg fumbled the roast so badly but this episode was really slim pickings, esp for Greg.

Tom's scenes with Shiv are fantastic to me, they always have been, but Greg's scenes with the sibs are just okay- there's no way they actually include him so it's just like. Okay. It might be better if they at least played off him- i could see a universe where Roman and Shiv string him along and fuck around with him, but they generally don't do that. If they had more time, it might be interesting but it's not like they're taking him for a ride this far into it.

I think another thing is, Tom and Greg are relatively safe... like everyone is worried about losing their jobs in the deal, but in the grand scheme of things, so fucking what? With the kids, being ousted from the company has an emotional impact. Tom and Greg were most interesting when they had more precarious positions and especially when they had the threats of jail and DOJ on them. I don't care much if Greg or Tom loses a job. Greg is almost too unimportant to fire, and Tom is a total cockroach in my interpretation of him, he'll be fine, inevitably he'd, like, find another job and a new wife and move on. Tom's scenes with Shiv at least have the effect of raising the emotional sword of damocles over his head because you know he cares about her.

I know Greg is a side character and Tom is in the supporting-main cast (as someone pointed out, he is pretty prominent in the marketing, not that I pay toooo much attention to that but it is a factor) but I can favor some plots and characters even if they're not a protagonist, and when a show is excellent you want it to be ALL good not just the A plot.

Lastly. Their plotline is NOT my only issue with the past couple episodes anyway. The most compelling kid is Roman right now, and while i liked Shiv's girlbossing, something with alllll of it just a bit... off... the pace is kinda funky feeling. we were all so hype and devastated about Logan's death and the placement in the season, but it seems like it might have taken the wind out of their sails a bit?

I withhold ultimate judgment until ep 10. Until then i will discuss stuff and hope for the best

[variousqueerthings]

You're monsters. Here you are, hiding away at the end of time. Do you even know why? Because you are hated.

Hell Bent... and I think this will be a funny old rating after Heaven Sent.... I wonder if I need to at one point in the future once I'm a bit less inured with this era of dw go back and watch capaldi's era again with somewhat unblinkered eyes, because my confession is that... I don't understand a lot of what happened in Hell Bent, and I'm not sure if it's because it's a whole lotta nonsense or because I've maybe gone a little too hard on watching this era in a relatively short timeframe

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 7/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 2/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 6/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 4/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

this rating is so fuckn funny to me. really up and down the scale! still, for anyone who's seen me rate a M*ffat finale before, this is by far the highest rated one. fuckn. easily. and all you needed to do, was centre the Companion character. didn't even need to write a plot that made sense (clearly)

OBJECTIFICATION: leaving on a high note, Clara is Not Objectified! neither is anyone else. gosh my standards are low sometimes.

PLOT-POINT: Clara is Not just a plot point in this either! woo! it takes us awhile to get to her, but then she has some pretty strong opinions, which she does enforce, on how she should be treated, which I think is especially Neat opposite Time Lords, who often tend to see humans (amongst many others) as inherently unimportant in the grand scheme of things

this episode honestly single-handedly gives me a lot of what I'd been constantly asking for with Clara, and while it is... well, it's very very very late into her run, it is nice that she leaves on a highnote. this idea of not wanting to die, and fighting against that death until it's on her terms is far more how I read Clara-as-character as well, versus the whole Thing in Face The Raven. thiiiis is who I see her as, at core

COMPLEXITY: so I actually went and looked at the wiki rundown of this episode and it states this -- "Aided by the Gallifreyan military, the Doctor usurps and exiles Lord President Rassilon. Now the new President, the Doctor learns that Rassilon imprisoned him in the dial to force him to confess about the Hybrid, which is prophesied by the Time Lords to stand in Gallifrey's ruins and unravel the Web of Time."

and I'm like, yeah, that's... that's what I thought happened uh, which... is all really dumb, as far as I can tell. wh- how did the Doctor's Confession Dial get to Gallifrey? why did they trap the Doctor in there as the best way to figure out the "truth" about the Hybrid? why does anyone think the Doctor knows anything about this in the first place? oh gosh, there's stuff here that belongs on the "godlike" doctor point, so I'll skip the "aided by the military" bit for now, but also... is this post-Time War then (yes, because they mention the Doctor is war hero... sigh) but... is Rassilon still in charge? how was that so easy???? what is the Web of Time, did we learn about this earlier???

all of this kind of -- as far as I can tell -- happens in the episode in a sort of "you know, all of this naturally a progression from one thing to the next" kind of way, and it's... it's not a natural progression! I've said a couple of times this season that it feels like I've missed an episode, but oh booooy does this episode hammer that home.

and that's just the opening, what happens next???

ok so the Doctor has the Time Lords retrieve Clara at the moment of her death, this is fine -- I mean, I still don't know why he's on Gallifrey to begin with, how they brought him there, or why they're doing as he tells them, but the Clara part of this story is actually the part that I enjoy!!! this is Clara's strongest episode this season and it's her goodbye! (well, I'm glad her goodbye episode doesn't suck actually, I'm glad she gets a nice send-off)

anyway then the Doctor and Clara run around Gallifrey for a bit, because technically Clara needs to go back and die, the Doctor steals a Tardis, all of this middle section, great, my love T'nia Miller is a Time Lord!!!! aw yeah!

then they go to the end end end of the Universe I guess and stumble over... Me! Me is fuckn! Still alive!!!!!!!! not a fucking scratch!!!!!!! how??????? why??????????? what is your purpose!!!!!!!

no, her purpose is to give this counterpoint about immortality and the Doctor, there's a metaphor here on idk. being this long-lived I guess. it's been done better before, numerous times, better with Jack, better with that guy in Lazarus Experiment, better in The God Complex, better with a whole buncha Time Lords, better in The Three Doctors, and I'm sure a whole host of other Classic!Who episodes I have yet to watch

the thing about Me is that she's introduced halfway through the season, her first episode is pretty good, her second episode is fiiine -- I'd say good even, on its own/in connection with the first episode, and then her third episode hits and I kinda... oh she's there to be an antagonist, but in a mysterious way where you're not sure where she stands, except she's made a whole bunch of errors, which she's not really enough of a character for me to feel any kind of sympathy with. when she realises she killed Clara, and she apologises, I don't care because she and Clara don't really have a relationship that makes it land for me

when she talks about the difficulties in setting up that refugee society, I don't care because I know we're not going to get anything really about this society and it's not going to influence the rest of the plot, and it didn't

she's such a thinly drawn character, that her use as a metaphor or a parable or a comparison or whatever she's meant to be doing is too loose for me to figure out what it is. it sucks to be immortal? I... I guess?

and now the Doctor wonders if she's not the Hybrid (which is the plottwist when the Doctor says "the Hybrid is me," he's actually saying "Me" as a name, fuckn... get it???) but... I still don't get why this Hybrid matters outside of a sudden prophecy or how it affects the greater universe that's been built. it feels like a last-minute addition to this season that they very quickly gave a few key characters a line here and there to allude to and then hoped it would stick. it makes no goshdarn sense!

technically I like this episode better than I've liked any other previous M*ffat-era finale episode, because it feels far more personal than any of those -- it's really about Clara saying goodbye on her own terms and that I really like

but the plot to get there is, as far as I can tell, nonsensical in its own internal logic.

oh, ok, to return to said plot, they're at the end of the Universe and Me -- the most immortal of all the immortals... somehow..... -- is just hanging out there in the ruins of Gallifrey, which... how'd she get there don't even worry about it, because we won't know and we've already apparently brought Gallifrey back into the main Universe somehow and I guess she just instinctively knew she'd come across the Doctor here or... idk, idkkkkk... I don't know. so much in this I don't know

the Doctor has a cunning plan to get rid of Clara's memory so that the Time Lords can't find her (?) and Clara overhears and rightfully goes "nuh-uh-uh, that's fucked up dude" (sure is, also... don't understand why it would work), but then she goes how about we basically roll the dice and one of us loses their memory and the Doctor says that sounds fair, and they do that and the Doctor has some brief Clara-amnesia

I don't understand why they do this. actually this is the main one that has me scratching my head. was it so that Clara could run while the Doctor was an amnesiac, is that what it was? I genuinely feel like maybe I just missed something on this one, but anyway, yeah, the Doctor pieces it back together, Clara runs off with Me in their Tardis (which the Doctor stole earlier) which got stuck as an American diner, the Doctor leaves in his Tardis, which had all the graffiti on it that Rigsy did, which disappears as the Tardis leaves

I think I need to rewatch that ending, because I was unclear actually on whether the Doctor remembers her face or not. it's not something that really bothers me in the way the rest of the plot-happenings in this episode do, but it's just something I wonder. I think that ending is good. I think it's bittersweet. I think it's a shame that Me doesn't feel more drawn, and that Clara didn't have much to do this season, so that them running off together felt like a natural next step, but I will take it as something one can definitely work with

I think it felt very natural to what I do feel I understand about Clara's character, and I like that she left the Doctor behind to go off on her own terms (honestly I never felt like she actually valued the Doctor much beyond what he was doing for her, but that's another post -- not like an "anti" post or anything, more of a "so Clara's kind of a messy bitch" post, which from what I've seen in fandom is something that's pretty chill of an opinion and in fact features heavily in why many people do like her character)

but yeah that plot... what?

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: Clara is in suspension and will eventually die, but on her own terms. the Doctor is alone again.

Gallifrey is uh... still not sure tbh. that was confusing. Rassilon is deposed? is he? does it matter? I don't think it matters

I'll still rate this point highly, because it is another of the big switches in the story -- new companion will be coming up, let's see how these events affect the Doctor's relationship with her

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara is more proactive in this episode than most any other of her run since... s7 I'd say. I'd have to double-check on that statement, but it has been a continuous Thing to me that Clara is there to talk fast, make witty comments, and either wait for the Doctor to give her instructions, or take matters into her own hands in ways that make her straight-up villain coded at times

in this one once she's on Gallifrey with the Doctor and they're running around in this spooky place, there's some Stuff she does, while the Doctor fetches the ersatz Tardis + she calls out the Time Lords for sucking, which is always winner behaviour

and then she decides when she dies, in the future... the long way round. still not sure about the whole mindwipe thing, but at least that's on her terms as well (although again... not villain coded but certainly unhinged and for what, that one)

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: there's this bit at the beginning that I find insufferable, where the Doctor returns to the barn they were raised in (I do think it's funny that s7 showed the barn and then s8 was like "no yeah they were literally raised in a barn") and all the Shobogans (I'm assuming?) gather around, whispering tales of this super cool basically mythological figure, and then Rassilon orders the troops to capture the Doctor and the Doctor simply sends them off by being so cool, and then at the end Rassilon goes "fuckit kill him" and the troops are all going "no, this guy's a War Hero" and join with the Doctor and depose Rassilon for the sake of how fuckn Cool this guy is

it's everything I dislike in Who boiled into like. what was it 15 minutes or whatever of television?

also the Doctor then just steals another Tardis and runs off again, why did we need this whole build-up, there were other ways to get the Doctor to the citadel (like just straight up capturing him, you're being depicted as a military state, wtf do you care if someone has a good reputation in a war, even your super special war, and also why is the Doctor banking on this reputation, what is this whole bit saying???)

ohhhhhhhh it's soo. urgh. for the rest of the episode, the Doctor doesn't actually take centre stage so much in my opinion. once Clara is back, yeah there's some "ooh the Doctor what'll he do now" but mainly it's Clara with a bit of Time War lore sprinkled in, and then the whole bit at the end of the Universe where they reveal... do they reveal the Hybrid? is it just "the Doctor did too much to help Clara and that was bad"? genuinely does the Hybrid come up again ever???

but yeah that beginning.... at least Capaldi actually does look cool, whenever they tried something like this with Matt Smith, I was like, why is everyone staring in awe at a 12yr old?

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: what is the Time War anymore but a way to make the Doctor's street cred go up?

there is stuff, like the Tardis looking like the 1963 Tardis, "reverse the polarity," the memory wipe references Donna, the Bad Wolf motif inexplicably shows up (I do wonder what that has to do with this episode) -- it's just the way that war is talked about makes my skin itch, otherwise relatively chill

“SEXINESS”: and thus, we send Clara on her next journey, happy in the knowledge that JLC, along with Capaldi, cured this run from terrible sexy dialogue

INTERNAL WORLD: Gallifrey as society? I hardly knew her. Military politics? dictatorship? Shobogans? idk, here's a barn, and now here's some. rooms. end of the Universe Gallifrey? uh. is also there

I think especially after setting up so many questions in the previous episode and ending it on that shot of the Citadel, this is kind of a let-down

POLITICS: so it's not really that political, but I did highlight the military element a few times, and I do think there should be more to it on this show than "this war guy good and that war guy bad because this is the hero and you're not." there has been more gravitas given to it than that, including in M*ffat's run so idk why... this.....

I also think the Doctor's own political relationship with Gallifrey is kind of not really a Thing in this -- and the Doctor has a more complicated relationship that "Time Lords Bad/Good" or even "always outside the Status Quo." The Doctor has done Status Quoing before, even though they're technically not a big fan of a lot of the setup in this place, but in this story none of that is really what's interesting

also a brief extra moment of "oh now I'm regenerated into a Woman, I realise that the other me was so full of Testosterone and Ego" that... ok we get it, you're trying feminism on for size. now we just need to get into the third wave, at least

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

AFTER ALL OF THAT, Clara leaves on a high. isn't that funny.

but seriously, there's so many questions I have, and if they do in fact get answered in the episode, mea culpa and all that, but uh. yeah, I was going "wait what's going on? why?" the entire way through

sometimes nonsense has gotta be gotten through in service to emotional pay-off, I guess. Au revoir Clara, hope you have a lovely time doing exactly what you've been doing before: getting into a toxic relationship with an ancient being in a time travel machine

(and next episode we say goodbye to River as well, lotta fuckn goodbyes happening huh)

similar question to last episode, why is it called Hell Bent? (I really need to get that list of questions together so I can do a concentrated search)

[dogaquarium]

Hey Laika, I saw your post about nightmares and I hope you’re doing alright :( that sounds really hard and on top of all the other stressors must be rough.

I’ve been curious about your thoughts on alien 9 recently, and was wondering your thoughts on it! If thats too much to think about right now how about some of your favorite foods or items?

Hope this helps a little 🫶 <:D

Hi star thank you so very much for the ask <3 I'm feeling a little better now, just takes a little bit of wind out of me whenever I wake up from something like that. Let me focus on answering your questions now though....

Asking me my thoughts on alien 9 in such a vague sense is a recipe for disaster, lol. I have so many thoughts and opinions on so many different elements of it. So feel free to ask for specifics later if you'd like, but I suppose I'll do a quick overview on as many things as I possibly can! Also going to try to make this as relatively spoiler free as possible since I'm pretty sure neither you nor a few other people following this blog have seen it yet, and I'm not sure if you're interested in attending movie night or not whenever I have time to plan a date for that.

Boy, where do I even start..... alien 9 is something so special to me. The entire franchise definitely does have its issues, and I do wish some moments were expanded upon or changed slightly. The pacing can be a little strange in the OVA, and even stranger in the manga (which is one reason I enjoy the anime a lot more; the manga sometimes feels almost detatched entirely). But it's something really valuable as it is regardless. It's such a foundational media for me that I came away from differently. Something I've found a lot of comfort and security in! The characters are all extremely charming, the story itself tackles such serious taboo topics in a proper sense, such a large part of it corresponds to the young queer experience, it doesn't poke fun at childhood mental illness, the core concept of the universe it exists within is endlessly compelling, the list goes on..... plus, kumi's character themes of identity (which I've already mentioned in precious posts) is something you can dig into forever. It's all so interesting. And it resonates a lot with me!

Episode 3 is one I'm especially excited for everyone to experience when I stream it. It's my personal favorite episode for a lot of reasons that I think we're masterfully tackled. It's a beach/vacation episode! Which sounds, admittedly, very frivolous and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. And to some degree it is!!! But what I personally find so compelling about episode 3 is the fact that it serves as a medium through which we can see how the main three girls function outside of a traumatic environment. It provides a baseline for us. It allows the audience to see them just be kids. I truly do not think it'd be as impactful of a series for me without that.

And now, since you can't have a general dump of my thoughts on alien 9 without mentioning the spinoffs.. prepare yourself......

I firmly believe that hitoshi tomizawa should have not been allowed to expand on this franchise any further after the original story had been wrapped up because after seeing what he's done with it you're bound to get a headache. There's two spinoffs from the original three classic volumes: namely alien 9-emulators and alien 9-next. I will not dwell on emulators (at least in this ask) because my rant on it will likely be even longer than this response, but know that with the way it handles the original subject material, it's not only incredibly insensitive, but I'd go as far as saying actively harmful. Tomizawa is a fuckin pedophile which SHINES in his later works in particular, and is very ironic considering so much of the point of the original classic series concerns the harm done by csa and how cyclical it can become (most blatantly in relation to kasumi's character). That's all I'll get into it for now because if I talk any more on it I'll get even more pissed. Idk where to even begin with Next, though.... such a strange expansion of the universe...... this spinoff takes place after the girls have all grown up and are on some kind of outer space mission.. idk how to even explain it to you and it's been far too long since I've read it but it's utter horseshit, such an anomalous entry in the series. Also the art style changed to be 3D models for no reason and it's ugly as sin.

Besides all the....... obviously glaring problems with both next and emulators..... there are also some simpler things that don't work for me in them. Namely kumi and yuri's relationship! In the classic volumes, such a major plot point is the evolution of their relationship from one that is tense, angry, and unhealthy to one that is mutually supportive and uplifting. There's a lot to be said about this change in relation to both parties- be it relaring to kumi's home life/preconceived expectations of her to yuri's mental illnesses/the way others treat her due to that. They act the way they do for a reason, is what I mean. And so when the audience finally gets the relief of them forming a genuine bond together, you expect that to be that, it's a plot point wrapped up and done with. And does stay wrapped up..... in the classic volumes, at least. In the spinoffs, kumi suddenly reverts back into someone aggressive and untrusting. Yuri reverts back into someone who has made no advances in her bravery and independence. All because fuckin tomizawa had no idea how to craft a story with meaning after he finished the first three volumes.

^ so cutes.. awwee......

I suppose this turned more into a response of why I dislike all the spinoffs rather than why I like the originals.. oh well..... easier to avoid spoilers in that way I suppose. Maybe you still found this interesting enough? Don't hesitate to ask more if I didn't answer how you'd expected!

[domesticated-whores]

hello, I've decided to do a thing that no one asked for, solely for myself. and that is heavily over-analyzing random bullshit about myself. starting with

over-analyzing the fuck out of my gender

get ready for so much useless information about the inner-workings of how I identify... longish post.

I think a lot (if not most) nonbinary/genderqueer people have a simplified gender that they publicly identify as and a different, more complex gender that they identify as internally or in queer-specific spaces.

I'm pretty open in general about being genderqueer. I don't really identify as nonbinary, it isn't my preferred term for what I am, but since I understand that it's a more common term that most people outside of queer spaces know at least at a surface level I'll use it sometimes. I don't usually get any deeper than that. I'll tolerate she/her pronouns (I'm afab and generally feminine, and I'm incredibly aware of that), if asked for my pronouns (rare, I'm very feminine presenting) then I'll say "I'm cool with anything, slight preference on they/them" because that's a lie, but it's simple and I don't care quite enough to fight anyone on it. I was out as he/him transmasc for a little while before it got to be not worth it to explain presentation =/= gender or trying to look uncomfortably masc in order to be taken seriously, so there are still people that use he/him pronouns for me irl which is nice, but I don't get *enough* dysphoria from being misgendered to try to get others to use them.

But I do have some specific shit for my gender, also. I've been studying the hell out of this shit for maybe 10 years. I'm autistic as fuck, I like researching and labeling and categorizing things, so I put a lot of thought and reflection into my gender and I really have no place to share it because no one really cares to have me deep-dive into the details for them.

First and foremost, I'm cassgender. In case you don't know what that is, it's when someone feels indifferent to their gender or generally feels it's unimportant. Different from something like agender because cassgender people still can *have* other gender identities, it isn't lack of gender identity, it's just that there isn't a super strong connection to it.

To me, I don't care if I'm misgendered really at all. I do have a preference on how I'm referred to, I do have a gender, but I also don't really think it matters in the grand scheme of things. If it's more convenient to me, I have zero issues pretending to be a cis woman. Am I? No. But I don't think much would really be different if I was, so I don't see why it really matters. I personally use almost all "gendered" words in a gender-neutral way (unless someone tells me they're uncomfy with it, where I still see the words themselves as gn but respect people enough not to use it for them), I understand gendered connotations but genuinely fail to see how they matter. Again, full respect that they matter to most people, but I personally don't see it so I won't act like I do.

Even when I did care more about my gender identity and being out publicly, it wasn't because of strong attachment to my gender. It was more of a sense of "I researched for so many hours finding the right labels, I'm going to use them openly dammit!!"

I'm also a transmasc femboy. I use he/him pronouns for myself and generally prefer those (though, again, I'm cool with any), but I'll use almost any gendered terms for myself interchangeably/by situation. For example, I tend to prefer feminine familial terms (I'm my cats' momma, I'd be an aunt if my brother had kids in the future, etc.) while I usually opt for more masculine basic terms (man rather than woman, masc pronouns, boyfriend if I'm in a relationship, etc.) and alternating on terms of endearment or authority (god/goddess, sir/ma'am, daddy/mommy, prince/princess, king/queen, etc.). If it's in lighthearted/meme terms, anything flies (girlie, "I'm just a girl," feminine urge, "girls don't want men, they want--" etc. isn't misgendering because it's silly and fun).

I'm afab, feminine as hell, and not really looking to transition medically at all, so I don't at all mind feminine shit because, uh, obviously. I wear dresses and eyeliner sometimes and have long hair and a petite, slight hourglass body and all that shit. My regular outfit is leggings and a crop top, it's a very titties out look tbh. I don't bind (use to, might start experimenting with it again when it gets colder but I can't with the tops I like for warm weather and I don't like using tape) or anything. If I could magically look more physically androgynous in the ways that I want, that'd be sick as hell, but I can't so I don't mind my body that much. I was on t for maybe 3-4 months and I got some minimal bottom growth and slight voice changing, but I was getting too many changes that I didn't really fuck with for my preferred brand of androgyny and a lot of things I wanted t didn't help, so I stopped. Like, if I could get free and easy top surgery or a reduction and somehow grow 4-6 inches in height that would be splendid, but one of those is too expensive to justify how mild my discomfort is and the other is literally impossible so I can live with what I have.

I also really think drag would be cool as hell for gender reasons, but unfortunately I'm something of a broke bitch and even being thrifty with it is out of my budget at the moment. Which is fine, I keep it on a back burner in case I have money to invest into a new thing that I might get burnt out on before it's even worth what I spent. I'm just not touching that when I'm struggling to do anything beyond pay rent and feed my cats. But it's certainly a gender thing that I put a lot of thought into.

I don't know. Again, I'm cassgender so I don't really care heavily about any of this, I'm just an overthinker so I know it because of that. It was just information sitting in my brain that I didn't know what to do with, so I'm dumping it here. I mostly want to deep-dive into my sexuality and romantic orientation, I just had to post this first because it is really connected to gender things. I have an essay-worth to say on my sexuality because I actually care a lot about that shit and I'm just at the end (I believe?) of still figuring it out, while I was pretty sure on my gender for a while and just had to settle on accurate labels for it mostly.