#or finding something we enjoy
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people will literally say “I hate modern art” and then buy tickets to the moma
#JUST GO TO A DIFFERENT MUSEUM#JUST GO TO LIKE LITERALLY ANY MUSEUM THAT SHOWS ART YOU ACTIALLY LIKE#ALTERNATIVELY DONT GO TO AN ART MUSEUM AT ALL!! PROBLEM SOLVED#like why are we seeking out art we hate when we could do the opposite and find art we enjoy#or finding something we enjoy#like a natural history museum or a library or botanic gardens or a zoo#no one is forcing anyone to like modern art but also no one is forcing you to look at it#modern art
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they licensed his ass
my finished piece of the FWMS (official name definitely 100%) thing we started a few days ago! I had fun I hope folks had and/or continue to have fun with the sketch as well.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhsy#riz gukgak#Fuck With My Sketch#I mean it I'm gonna use that. gotta stop me if u dont wanna#doing things like this is bittersweet bc this slaps and I look at this and Im like well. I will never be able to nail this look again#I guess that's the plight of self taught art. but also it means you have to learn to let go and go look for different delights#you can't get too attached to one way of doing things. you will find many new things on ur way to make more funny bictures n such#this slaps tho Im so happy with how this came out lol. its be a long while since I last drew something in this vein#appropriate that its for riz lol he deserves it. he deserves the photoshoot pieces#funny enough this also kind of was prompted by drawfee? in one of the episodes I was binging (I thiiiink the one bg a day ep)#jacob brought up one of the artists I follow on twitter (havent been there in a decent while lol) who uses a pretty distinct#blue-on-red palette that got me to think abt teal-on-red and then this happened#funny enough I did start the piece with teal-on-red but then I shifted to blue after and was like wait I love this suddenly#and then committed lol. I should work with teal-on-red properly more but for now! we have fun! we enjoy#thats my journey thank u for listening. thank u for drawing with me if u have and come hang next time if u havent
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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lesbian pride moment 😳🌸
#jolyne cujoh#hermes costello#stone ocean#jjba#jojo's bizzare adventure#deliart#jolymes#i didnt make it in time for pride month. its 3 in the morning#but some for some time zones im just in time<3#focus here was GREEN i just wanted to work with lots of green colors#bc i never do and i need to improve at that#we ended up with neons tho still sorry#also the background was fully rendered so much details n stuff but u cant see it hehe bc i blurred it#that was what most of my time was spent on . btw#anyway. hope u all enjoy the dresses lol#might go back and fix some stuff tho bc i drew this in like 3 days from lineart onward#so i havent been able to rest my eyes inbetween. so ill probably find something i wanna fix later
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What would a mother not do for her child What lengths would a mother not go There's a bond that exists between mother and child With no end to how strong it can grow It's a promise for life between mother and child It begins from the moment of birth.
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She is six years old, and standing on the porch at her Auntie Alicia’s cabin. She is six years old, and holding an old rifle in her hands, standing at the railing and pointing the nozzle at a large target a couple feet away. There’s a pair of old ear muffs covering her ears. Behind her is her daddy and her sister, and Auntie Alicia. She can’t see them.
Danielle Martha Fenton is six years old, and her momma has her arms wrapped warmly around her, keeping the gun steady for her. It’s heavy and the butt digs into her shoulder uncomfortably, and she feels nothing but determined. And nervous.
Her momma was teaching her and Jazzy how to shoot, and they’re down in Arkansas to visit Auntie Alicia for her second “Divorce-iversary” as Auntie calls it. She keeps a hunting rifle in her gun safe for the rabbits that like to nibble on her garden. She mostly grows rhubarb, which goes untouched. But her carrots and greens and other veggies like to be tempting snacks for the game.
Regardless, she is six years old and learning how to shoot. Her momma and her daddy (mostly her daddy) have been banned from every shooting range outside of Amity Park in a hundred mile radius. So Auntie is the best place to learn, or so momma says.
Danny thinks it's just an excuse to see her sister, not that she's complaining. She loves visiting Auntie.
She’s already seen Jazzy do this, her momma told her before the muffs went on to shoot when ready. No use trying to fire when you’re not; you can’t afford to miss when shooting ghosts.
Danny breathes out steady, just like momma taught her, and quells her trembling little fingers. She focuses down the barrel, and pulls the trigger.
Immediately, the recoil throws her off, the side of the gun that her cheek was resting on knocks against her skin, harsh enough to bruise if it weren’t for her momma’s steady hands holding onto her. The bang of the gun startles her more than she thought it would, and her heart leaps up and runs a jackrabbit through her chest.
The gun is carefully slipped out of her hands, and Danny lets it go easily, her cheek smarting in pain and her eyes wide and following up to momma. Momma turns the safety on, and with a gentle hand, pushes against her chest. Danny takes a few steps back, and slips the ear muffs off her head.
Mommy is smiling big at her, something that Danny can’t help but replicate on her own face as her heart swells. “Did I get it, momma?” She asks, watching as she passes the gun off to Auntie Alicia, who steps over to take it.
“I’m going to go see, sweetie, but I think you did.” Momma coos, before planting both her hands on the porch railing and, in a single leap, vaults over the side and onto the grass. She’s dressed all comfortable for the summer heat, with her hair all tied back and in shorts and a tank top and nice boots. Danny’s ribs swell hopefully, and she stands on her tiptoes to watch her walk over.
“I’ll be hard-pressed to believe if you didn’t, Martha Mae,” Auntie tells her, grinning like a cat, “that was a damn good shot.”
‘Martha Mae Knight’ was Danny’s granny’s name. Auntie Alicia calls her that because of her middle name — and because, by her words, she has her momma’s weird-shaped eyebrows and piercing blue eyes. The kind that could scare a hawk into singing like a robin. It was Danny’s favorite nickname ever.
Daddy laughs brightly, the sound painful on her ears but twice as nice, and despite the distance, Momma whirls her head around to shoot Auntie a glare; “Language, Alicia. Not around my girls.” She warns. Her accent always comes through when they’re around Auntie. It’s Danny’s favorite thing to listen to.
“Do you think so, auntie?” Danny says, bright-eyed and ever-optimistic. Auntie Alicia nods fiercely as Momma finally reaches the target and searches for the bullet hole. Daddy then comes up behind her, still laughing, and claps a hand onto her shoulder so hard that it makes her knees hurt.
“Of course she did!” Dad boasts, as bright as the sun and twice as warm. He shakes Danny affectionately, wobbling her on her feet and pulling her straight into his side. She goes so willingly with a burble of giggles. “She’s got the eyes of a Fenton! And our family are darn good shots.”
Auntie eyes him up and down, her smile immediately fading off into a pressed line. “I’m sure you mean she’s got the eyes of a Knight. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn at twenty paces, Jack Fenton.”
Jazzy holds back giggles from where she’s standing by the door, her ear muffs in hand, and Danny watches her Daddy’s dark eyes immediately narrow. Just like Auntie’s, his smile tapers off into a frown.
Before he can say anything, there’s a cheer from the yard, and they all turn to Momma clapping her hands in delight.
Danny immediately pricks her ears up, and would’ve darn near rushed over to the railing if it weren’t for her Daddy’s hand on her shoulder. She yells instead, excitement thrumming like a hummingbird against her ribs, “Did I hit it, momma?!”
Momma beams at her with all the pride in the world, “You sure did, Danny!” And she turns to press her finger against the target, right on the inside red ring of the battered old bag. “Right here, sweet girl!”
There are cheers from all around, and Danny’s heart bursts inside her lungs with shiny, sunshine glee. She puffs her chest out big, and smiles so wide it hurts the cheek where the gun smacked her. Her Daddy shakes again, squeezing her tight against his side in a hug that Danny happily reciprocates.
“What’d I tell you, Martha Mae?” Auntie tells with a big wink and a wide grin, the gun still gripped tight in her hands as Momma makes her way back over. “You got a Knight’s eye.”
When Momma makes it back over the railing, she hugs Danny tight and praises her shot. Danny looks her in the eyes and chases the feeling, and asks to shoot again.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#cw gun#cw gun mention#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#martha knight au#female danny fenton#fem danny fenton#danny is martha wayne au#got a little something something written for this au. the dichotomy of the happy memory and the fact that she's being taught this to shoot#ghosts. the innocence of a child and the reality of the situation :]. as well as danny's steadily disillusion from her parents as she grows#fun fact! this memory is based off one of my own when my dad was teaching us how to shoot so we could (eventually) go hunting with him.#i was around danny's age i think. a little bit younger maybe. so a lot of this stuff -- like Maddie helping her hold it up and them#wearing earmuffs and Danny immediately getting the gun taken away after she shoots and danny herself backing up are all based off#what i could remember. albeit the only difference here is Alicia holding the gun and Jack and Jazz standing behind Danny. in my own memorie#iirc we were all supposed to stand inside when it wasnt our turn. but we also didnt have enough earmuffs for everyone to stand outside.#slaps danny's head like the roof of a car: you can fit SO much trauma in this kid. enjoy her joy while it lasts :]#smth smth the idea that the fenton parents weren't bad at first but instead became a steady decline once they got into building the portal#smth about how danny knows somewhere that they could improve because they were good before. but they aren't and she wonders#who they love more: their daughters. or ghosts? (the answer is their daughters but danny finds this out in a way she doesnt expect)#that beginning song lyric is from “after all” by christine ebersole btw. its danny's theme song for the au.#i thank god every day for being a daycare teacher because the word 'daddy' has been CLEANSED for mEEEEEEEEEEE
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Finally had the moment I’ve been waiting years for and got to listen to a 12 year old info dump to me about transformers after he learned I like transformers
#and he got so excited every time I responded to something indicating I knew what he was talking about#truly had so much fun we talked for like 2 hours on the bus I#bet he didn’t expect to find the only adult who knows about transformers starwars and tmnt in the fucking woods lol#something about having this kid ask if I’ve watched x or y and getting to watch his whole face light up when I say yes#love the nerd kids I love them I love them#talk to me about which tmnt had the best characters vs choreography vs monster design pleaseeeee#this kid has watched all the 2002-2012 cartoons and I was so here for it#I miss him…#farewell small child who I shall never see again. I hope you enjoy tf:one#mac mumbles
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Vlad looks so huge next to Danny in bed, Danny is curled up like a cat and Vlad is just trying to sleep after being hit so hard... Miau
After all that work, Danny deserves to rest his head on the best pair of pillows in both worlds :)
#may we all enjoy a sleep this restful tonight#asks#pompous pep#to be fair plasmius is gargantuan and danny has always been tiny#i hope my fellow size difference appreciators enjoyed this one#also i'm finding out that there's something about danny's cheeks that i just like squishing#especially against vlad :)#hjbenderart#enjoy this full-scale crop#you can see how sloppy my line coloring is lol
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So if all the Faunus are more FLOOFY and stuff in your art. What about CAT NEO. Did she end up more FLOOFY?
Are we talkin this Cat Neo? Cause she can be floofy. Take on more of curious cat’s appearance. I think it’ll help her look better than just suddenly big squishy blue arms.
#fooze#rwby#rwby fanart#neo#rwby neo#curious cat#we making it thru these asks. slowly but surely#the wait was totally worth it (no tf it wasn’t sorry guys)#enjoy the details. maybe you’ll find something hidden 👀
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"And you! What's with the vanishing act, huh? Admit it! You're enjoying this place!" - Yuma
Rank 11: Heartland!
#Seeing Astral enjoying his time at Heartland Luna Park is one of my favorite things in the manga#I'm still not over this#he looks so happy!#And he is cute when he is like this#To be clear: Astral is always cute#but the way he is when he finds something that he likes makes him even more cute#In that park Astral experienced fun for the first time and he loved it#he would have done all the attractions that were there#Yuma: “We have to see if the rumors that there are Numbers here are true!”#Astral: “I know but can we get on that ride first? And then do that ride? And also that ride over there?”#I'm so sad that we never got scenes like this in the anime#but at least we have them in the manga and that makes me very happy#yugioh zexal#astral zexal#zexal#astral yugioh#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal manga#yu gi oh zexal manga
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reblog this and put in the tags your favorite (or most memorable) mandatory reading from school
#I was very much that kid who enjoyed the mandatory readings when 80% of the class Did Not#however I might have just really enjoyed the group discussion/debate that followed the readings#anyways!#there's this one book I read in middle school that I think was actually non fiction?#and was about this guy in Alaska and his sled dogs#wish I could remember the name or more plot events because I can not find the book today for the life of me#I also liked this short story we read in a class in Highschool that was about#this self cleaning/functioning house going through its routine functions even though the family is long dead#(I think this was taking place post nuclear fallout/war or something)
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there are certainly serious things to say and analysis to be made about the tired queen in snow white-ass female fear of aging and losing your beauty as catalysts for evil tropes zara renata is evoking, as well as the treatment of her still-naked body as an object in the post mortem interrogation scene by both the camera and the characters. HOWEVER. personally and with my heart not my brain I forgive it wholeheartedly because there's just something special, something so incredibly fun and campy, both about her horrific literal blood bath and about a character who'll coyly tell you to wait here she'll just slip into something a little more... comfortable😏. and then while keeping hard eye contact with you she slips out of her skin entirely like it's a strapless dress and stands there in her full glistening subcutaneous glory smirking at you. her body isn't a temple it's a slaughterhouse. well. for you. but that's a price she's willing to pay :) ianthe tridentarius behaviour (laudatory)
(to be real for a moment it probably helps a lot that there are plenty of other female villains in the game who aren't presented with a sexual or appearance-focused angle at all. well. not an intentional one at least. ghilan'nain will always do to certain people what she does but that's not the design intention or priority lol. having a zara does not feel as weird when you also have a johanna hezenkoss running around just living her best unlife and doing her thing)
#the lesson here is that I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair#and I will go along with even quite troubling things in fiction if I find it inscrutably funny enough. apologies but here we are#I can enjoy a nuance with the best of them#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#zara renata#it's so true that the worst sin something in fiction can commit is to be boring lol#also I do think deliberately invoking and framing it in fairytale logic helps. she's an Evil Queen. you know them. they do this stuff#like listen. we know and you know what we're doing here nothing new under the sun. but doesn't it make for banger visual design#and like yeah you got me there bioware it does I will remember the blood room forever#she has a horror prison under the sea and has gone the full bathory that's the space we're playing in right now haha#I hate to be a little bit of a hater but also the contrast between zara and aelia for me. zara is flawed but fun and aelia. is there.#I guess. for me at least. who is she. frankly I didn't care that much.#okay haterism over but I also haven't seen a lot of aelia thirst or I support women's wrongs posts which feels like a sign of some kind
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Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.
The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.
#not even gonna tag this cause I don’t want to start discourse in the tags but you can absolutely still explore the concepts of patriarchy#toxic masculinity misogyny and rape culture if the genders where swapped#like those concepts don’t disappear just because Anya is a boy now cause you have to think of all the ways it applies to male victims and#I just don’t understand why people keep getting angry when people facilitate different discussion the game opens you up to#like yes I get the frustration with not seeing the conversations you want but start them go find them why complain on other posts when#people are bringing attention to similar issues and the ways they are overlooked dismissed or blame the victim#I for one think we should have more basic clarifying conversations of SA rape cultures and how toxic masculinity and sexism create scenarios#like the Tulpar and enable men like Jimmy but I also can understand and enjoy the topic being expanded upon to include other cases on a#flipped scale like yes how male centered the fandom is is annoying considering the topic but seeing comments saying that SA isn’t as harmful#to men cause they can’t get pregnant is a whole can of worms you really need to unpack cause holy shit#like in this scenario if Jimmy is pregnant and can’t get rid of the baby Anya is the father yes Jimmy is pregnant but that’s because in this#swap she assaulted a man lied to either say it was consensual he forced himself on her or like canon panicked and semi admitted to forcing#him either way he is afraid to do anything because men do get blamed for defending themselves against women in these situations not to#mention the shaming that occurs because he is a man and should step up for the kids sake and likely be told he should be proud a girl wanted#him that much like yes you have to explain it more but bodily autonomy in this scenario is just as nuanced and I can’t believe I have to#defend something being male centered in a game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst just because people are saying SA for men#is not as damaging or degrading or harmful to autonomy as it is to a woman like how can you want conversations on rape culture and shut down#people bringing up other nuances in the conversation#like people are gonna jump around with it I know but if you only want to talk about one thing stay in that sphere like I just don’t get#going to another space especially one that isn’t even being weird or toxic and starting shit cause you don’t like it like the amount of#unnecessary and mean comments on normal art of think pieces I’ve seen on Twitter is crazy like it’s stupid callout shit for the sake of just#not liking something like I’m seeing so much screen shotting and vague posting like just at the bitch and fight about it like it’s still a#relatively small fandom ur just asking for in fighting on like the few things we shouldn’t have to worry about#as a victim my self and who has been in other situations and being afab I just can’t understand the vitriol toward this sort of discussion#mouthwashing#actually I will tag this cause you can explore the themes in mouthwashing still stop being freaks and just block bitches ong
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I just thought of a funny joke they really missed out on doing for a after credit scene for the last episode of the Knuckles series.
Where Knuckles returns home, all proud and shit with his lil hat, Maddie and the boys are asking where he’s been this whole time, to where he says that he basically went on a adventure to train Wad, reunite him with his father, yadda yadda.
Then he just says a throwaway line like, “Oh, and some GUN agents kidnapped me and wanted to use my power, and they had weapons that shot out ring portals. I defeated them of course, two of them by trapping them into two rings portals that collapsed onto one another until it exploded into nothing and the other when I threw a giant metal ball on top of him.”
Cut to all three of them being mortified/appalled/confused while he just nonchalantly says, “Have you ever had challah bread? Is it a food to die for.”
#I’m still trying to find the enjoyment from this show despite not really enjoy in entirely#I’m actually surprised we didn’t get a after credit scene with something similar to this#knuckles show#knuckles series#knuckles wachowski#movie knuckles#scu#sonic movie
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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I think there's something so beautiful in the way you can see the age and wrinkles in all of their faces
It's like a visual reminder of how far they've come and how despite everything they are still here and its still them
and how far you've come and how despite everything you're still here and you're still you
#I think there was genuinely something so human and genuine about catching up with everyone's WWWY experience#and finding us all sitting in our beds with iPads on our knees and headphones enjoying ourselves as if we were there#also oh my god I'm just so down bad for like signs of aging#was on the verge of screaming each time a close up of one of them would show up on the screen and you would be able to see#the wrinkles in their hands and the age in their bodies and hands andOH MY GOD#mcr#MCR#gerard way#mikey way#ray toro#frank iero#my chemical romance#wwwy fest#wwwy 2024
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starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.
#ugh it feels sooooooooo good to be enjoying cooking again#it was so bad the last like month or so i just#have been sooooo burnt out#it's genuinely insane what a 3 day vacation can do to reset you :(( it makes me sad lol#i wish that everyone could rest to their hearts content forever#i think i am someone who is extremely prone to burnout and i need about quadruple the amount of quiet alone resting time#that the average person does#so when i get burned out its like excruciating to pull myself out of it again#but im also the primary cook of my household so there isn't really time to take a break and recharge and find my joy for it because#we have to eat lol#3 times a day#every day#forever#BUT#i am feeling so much better about things now after making that dinner and baking a little bit#its feeling soooo autumnal around here lately too which helps#the changing of the seasons is so good for my cooking motivationg#idk#i was feeling pretty depressed that i was starting to resent cooking for a while there since when i enjoy it it's like#life-giving#soul sustaining#wonderful hobby that gives my life purpose and meaning#and it was breaking my heart that i wasn't feeling that way anymore#but i can feel myself coming back#writing about food helps me too#something about describing it#and sharing it with other people who are delighted by it#makes me enjoy it a little extra#sigh#i feel like im returning to myself finally !!!
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