#or do they have another problem in regards to that? are the curses a separate problem from country to country or did it appear

[aria0fgold]

I'm gonna put my theorizing and headcanon cap on and analyze the title of the book, The Cursing of Chateau Castle to figure out exactly what the cursing aspect of it is all about!

So... the series has been going on for years most likely by the fact that there's been 87 issues of it. That means there's a high chance it first got released Before the King took over Vaugarde. So the cursing aspect couldn't be about being frozen in time. Chateau castle is the name of a place in it but chateau also means castle (specifically one designed as a fortress). Sooo in a way, Chateau castle is both a castle that people can live in and a fortress of defense, which is a pretty cool thing in a way to have the rulers of a country live in a castle made to keep attackers away.

But theeeen, a curse happened to it. But what kinda curse is that? I have no idea cuz it wasn't mentioned at all buuuut, there's a high chance that each castle has their own unique curse. Considering the fact that the entire story is about Josephandre and his party destroying castles and saving people. Pierre-Jacques-Erneste even went and sacrificed their Own castle to save Josephandre. Whatever the curse is, it's Directly tied to the building itself and the best way of getting rid of it is by destroying the structure. Which, for nobility is an extreme way of practically dethroning them (instead of just taking the crown, throne, or any item that signifies their authority, their Entire castle gets taken away which is practically the biggest indication and symbol of their power).

So I'd like to think that the "curse" is heavily tied to the history of the people living in that castle, it could be born from the sins overflowing in the place, it could be born from an object that was locked deep inside the castle and its seals broke. It could be anything! Whatever the case though, I am neck deep in the brainrot juice and now I'm thinking bout Pierre-Jacques-Erneste that is infected by a curse after that self-sacrificial act he just did which would result in a near death experience around the end of the series (since Mira was wondering if Pierre survived before Siff found the last issue).

[ledesaid]

Get away from me

Billy wants to leave, Constantine wants him to leave, but Billy can't...

—Mr. Constantine, stop pushing me through the door, it doesn't work!

Billy falls flat on the ground, rubbing his aching nose. They've been trying to separate beyond two rooms for twenty minutes, but it's proving physically impossible.

—This is what happens when you touch everything you see, Cap —Constantine says, taking a drag from his cigarette as he sits in his chair.

Billy is upset, with both of them... It wasn't entirely his fault. He thinks it's halfway a consequence...

—You told me "Choose something you like" —Billy sits in the adjacent chair.

—Alright kid, rule number one, don't believe everything you're told —Constantine points his cigarette at the younger one.

—Smoking can kill you.

—I know, kid, why do you think I smoke?

Billy raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms.

—Mr. Constantine, I have a meeting at the Watchtower tomorrow.

That doesn't get the older man's attention. Billy summons a small lightning bolt and reduces the cigarette to ashes.

Profoundly indignant, Constantine turns his attention to the boy.

—Look, kid, I've got a couple of ideas about banishing you to hell or... Well yes, I'll throw you through a portal door. It's quicker.

—I won't go to hell... Again —Billy added the last part while moving away from John.

—Be brave, kid, Luci is my friend, well, acquaintance, well, he somewhat tolerates me...

Billy gives him his most indignant look possible.

—You definitely give a new meaning to "go to hell"...

—I'll write you a note for the principal, don't play around or the demons will eat you... —Jon had ignored the younger one while furiously scribbling in his notebook.

There's not much to do,

Billy has been cursed to not separate from John Constantine, and when he calls the lightning, he can't transform.

Constantine is fast when he wants to be, he managed to make a quick portal and successfully throw the kid through it this time.

Confident in his success, he lit another cigarette and opened a whiskey. But his failure was clear when the bottle disappeared and the boy reappeared through a door.

—They send their regards —is all Billy says as he hands the note back to John.

~And although I find it amusing, it's not my problem John Constantine~

—Damn.

Billy has to attend his meeting along with John. Zatanna didn't stop looking at them the whole time... Maybe John's glamour spell couldn't fully deceive the sorceress.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Come with me now on another story adventure.

Some types of hardship do start to feel like curses if they happen often enough. One thing I’ve experienced a lot- or at least enough to posit a curse- is my apartments flooding.

I’ve had flooding in three separate apartments I’ve lived in.

The place I lived with Betty flooded due to a massive rainstorm and poor placement on a downhill slope. Betty’s room was more effected than mine, but due to poor handling by the management it resulted in some rampant black mold and my eventual falling out with Betty as we broke the lease to escape.

My first flooding though. Happened when I lived in a third floor apartment. How, you might ask, is that possible?

Oh, Reader. Prepare yourself.

Now, I need to set the stage. Because you see, I shared this apartment with the last boy I’d ever date, Brendan. We’d known going into the relationship that I had a predilection for pussy but it finally clicked that I was just not attracted to men.

This was particularly devastating because I still loved that boy with all my heart but neither of us were getting what we needed out of the relationship. Suffice it to say, the atmosphere in the apartment in which he was sleeping on the couch was A BUMMER.

We were both sick, probably from stress, and had bad coughs. It was the night before midterms.

I was tucked up into bed, with little kitten Leeloo, ready to get to sleep. It was about 10pm. Brendan knocked and poked his head into the room.

“It’s raining in the bathroom,” he said.

I got out of my comfy bed, and joined him in the bathroom. Raining was an exaggeration but there was definitely water dripping down the door jam and pooling up under the paint.

“That’s not good.”

We both stared at this problem together, sick and sad.

Finally, I suggested, “Go see if the upstairs neighbor left a faucet on. I’ll try to call maintenance.”

He left and I started making calls. At 10pm it was understandable that I was getting a lot of voicemails. Two maintenance lines deep, Brendan returned.

“The people above us are getting drops too, and the place above that won’t respond.”

Four defunct numbers later, I finally got ahold of an emergency maintenance guy who was on call. “It’s raining in our bathroom.”

He was befuddled and said he’d be in soon.

That was about when it really actually started raining. Drips began pouring out of light fixtures. Terrified, we turned off the lights we could, setting out bowls and towels to mitigate water damage. Water dripped from several lights and started pooling ominously in the long flat kitchen light.

The maintenance man arrived around midnight. There was bowls and buckets littering the ground as Brendan and I watched in abject misery as water filled them. The maintenance man was wildly out of his depth, having been left in sole charge while the entire rest of the staff was on vacation.

As we spoke to him, the water infiltrated our smoke alarm which began screaming in earnest at this wet invasion. The maintenance man promised to try to see what was causing the issue and fled. Brendan and I regarded each other. We coughed, sick and exhausted, then went to empty the water buckets.

An hour passed. The smoke alarm persisted, it’s three shrill screeches pounded relentlessly into our ear drums. We stopped existing as individuals and became vessels of suffering. The paint in the bathroom started sloughing off the wall in wet ripples.

Brendan tried to rouse the neighbor again and returned unsuccessful.

The maintenance man returned. It was 1am. He couldn’t get ahold of the apartment causing the flooding. He couldn’t get ahold of his bosses. After the update he made to leave and we begged him, please, just make the beeping stop, please. It can rain inside, and I can get no sleep the night before midterms, and I can cough miserably all night while I empty water bowls, but please, god, please, just make the beeping stop.

He promised to try and left. At some point around then, the flat kitchen light shattered under the pressure and gushed out a fall of water. Brendan and I gave a bleak half hearted startle and tried to scrounge up more towels.

I started slipping into madness. The unceasing blaring beeps. The rain. The misery of being in this wretched situation with someone I used to be able to reach toward for comfort who I couldn’t anymore. This was hell, I decided. This circumstance fits into how they torture people, and I live here in this torturescape now. The maintenance man was never coming back.

The maintenance man came back with a ladder eventually.

Brendan and I watched with blank hungry eyes as he fussed with the alarm and at 2am it finally ceased its shrieking klaxon of madness. I cried. The man left again. We emptied the bowls.

And finally, half an hour later, the rain began to abate. The maintenance man returned to inform us that he’d entered the upstairs unit.

Someone had become incapacitated and left their bath running. He was not at liberty to disclose what happened so presumably someone was sauced out of their gourd and fell into a deep stupor such that several hours of sustained door pounding couldn’t rouse them.

People all down the row flooded, and he looked near tears himself. We thanked him and went to collapse into bed. Neither of us took midterms the next day.

Brendan and I are still friends to this day, even after a night fit to drive someone mad.

My last event of apartment flooding was a sewer main getting blocked. It was when my betrothed and I had just started dating and they were hanging out at my place while I was at work. Due to this good fortune, they were able to move my couch, entertainment system, and electronics out of the path of the flood.

It took a week and some extremely pointed emails to get the landlord to comp me rent for the week I couldn’t live there and the entire time I was just thankful I wasn’t stuck with water dripping from my lights while a fire alarm drove me to the brink of madness.

[lale-txt]

❉ in a long-distance relationship ↳ w/ Nanami & Naoya (separate)

a/n: getting into my clown car because originally i was planning to write this for four characters in total, then i blinked and suddenly i had written over 2k words in headcanons and drabbles and decided to call it a day. i personally want to thank Nanami and Naoya for representing the both flawless and horrendous ends of the spectrum regarding my taste in fictional men ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

contains: headcanons are sfw & gn!reader, drabbles are ns.fw & afab!reader. i'll put individual warnings before each drabble later in the text.

word count: 2.3k

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

the driest texter known to man

it’s not like Nanami won’t think of you and text you throughout the day, it’s more that his texts read as if they’re coming from your tax consultant rather than from the love of your life

“Arrived at the accommodation. Room is very clean. About to head out for work, will call you later tonight. Love you, K. PS: Heard Lawson has cabbage on sale this week.”

he’s never beating the old man allegations

it’s an obstacle that yours and his work often requires you both to travel and spend time apart, but to Nanami, once committed, long distance was never a reason for things not to work out between you

he keeps his promises and calls when he said he would, he sends you flowers when he can’t bring them back home in person and he orders you food when you’re having a rough day, staying on the phone with you while you eat and letting you vent if you need to 

when he misses you (which he always does), he lets you know. no matter how far apart, Nanami would never make you doubt if you’re on his mind and in his heart 

often he’d send you photos of his lunch or local specialities, sometimes photos from the local pigeons too when they’d pick up the crumbs of his sandwich at his feet

“Those two seem inseparable. Made me think of us. Miss your voice, will call you tonight. What are you having for lunch? Careful when you cut the cabbage.”

at night, after another draining day of fighting curses, the only thing keeping Nanami going is the prospect of hearing your voice over the speaker

he will close his eyes and imagine you snuggled up in bed while talking to him, waiting for him to come home, and oh, how badly he wants to be by your side and never let you go

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), phone sex, panty sniffing, masturbation (with said panties), dirty talk, breeding kink (no mention of pregnancy or babies), mention of: brat taming, mirror sex and hair pulling

“Sorry, love. Were you asleep already?”

Nanami’s voice is quiet, almost like an apology for calling you this late. He knows you’re always staying up and fighting your sleepiness, despite him telling you not to wait for him—he’s grateful you do though, because hearing your voice is the one thing that will get him through each day, no matter how long it drags on.

“Mhm, not quite yet,” you mumble into your phone and smile at the sound of his voice. “‘m all cozy in bed though, it still smells like you. Only missing your warmth.”

Nanami laughs quietly at the other end of the line. He has no problems imagining you right now, having the big bed you bought together all for yourself but still curling up on his side of the mattress, where his scent still lingers. He hums softly.

“That was quite the surprise I found in my pocket this morning.”

You hear some rustling sounds and a pair of pants getting unzipped, and the grin on your face widens. Putting your phone on speaker, you set it down on the pillow next to you and roll over on your back, feeling more awake now.

“Well? Did you like it?”, you coo.

“Loved it.”

The panties you slipped into Nanami’s jacket before he left are now dangling from his finger in the dim light of the bedside lamp. He picked them out for you a while ago and now you were simply returning the favor, knowing how lonely it can get on a solo mission. He closes his big fist around them and brings them to his face, inhaling your musk and making him groan quietly. His cock aches in his boxers, precum staining them slightly, but he doesn’t touch himself yet.

“God, I miss you,” he mutters after catching another whiff of your worn panties. “Want to taste you so badly, love. When I get home, I’ll have you sit on my face till your legs give out.”

You chuckle at the prospect of it. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Did you touch yourself with my panties?”, you ask in a sultry voice and you can hear Nanami growl a little at the other end of the line.

“I’m doing it right now,” he replies in a husky voice, having his bottoms hastily pulled down his thighs and now fisting his cock with your panties wrapped around it. The fabric feels soft and expensive, and the thought of how they clung to your cunt when you soaked through them has his mind spinning circles.

“Good. I want to hear you cum,” you whisper, closing your eyes for a better imagination. “Tell me what you want to do with me when you’re back home.”

Nanami pumps his fat cock with one hand, the other holding his phone to his ear. He’s sprawled out in an armchair, head in the back of his neck, his eyes shut as well. His breath comes out raggedly.

“Gonna fill your pretty little cunt to the brim,” he mumbles. “Tongue, fingers, cock. Everything. Whatever you beg for, I’ll give it to you. Gonna pump you so full of my cum, you’ll have it ruin your panties for days, but you’d like that, don’t you?”

“Fuck,” you mewl at the other end of the line, kicking back the sheets and spreading your legs to touch yourself to his words. Your fingers reached nowhere as deep as Nanami's, but it was better than nothing.

“Gonna bend you over and fuck you on every flat surface in our house,” he rasps. “In front of the big mirror too, so you can see the faces you make when you cum on my cock. Wanna feel how tight you get when you’re milking me. As if you’re trying to remember the shape of my cock forever. Made for me, only me. And if you’re gonna be a brat, which I know you will, I’ll stuff your mouth with your panties and pull your hair till I fucked some obedience into you.”

Nanami groans; he is so close. Damn, if only you were here for him to bury himself in the warmth of your cunt. Your whimpering at the other end of the line and your panties wrapped around his cock as he pumps himself are enough to send him tumbling over the edge, a supernova of pent up lust and frustration unleashing within him. The silken fabric soaks up all of his cum, sticky and hot against his skin. He made a mess, but cleaning up was for later.

“You good, love?”, he asks in a raspy voice and can’t help but smile at the sound of your heavy breathing.

“Came so hard I saw stars a little,” you confess over the speaker and snicker. You’ll definitely have to change the sheets before Nanami gets home. As if you two wouldn’t ruin them anyway.

“Good, good,” he laughs. “Now sleep, dear, I kept you up for too long. I’ll be home tomorrow night, okay? Can’t wait to kiss you.”

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐎𝐘𝐀

Naoya hates being apart from you and he doesn’t understand why you take on missions that require you to leave the Zen’in estate aka him

in his eyes, as his spouse there’s no need for you to work at all, you should just stay at home with him or accompany him on his business trips 

he can and he will yap about this while you pack your bags, while he drives you to the train station (he insists to escort you there himself), while carrying your luggage and even between goodbye kisses. seriously, this man never learned how to shut up in his entire life

the night prior, Naoya had made sure to leave plenty of hickeys all over your body, as a reminder who you belong to 

he’s clearly bored out of his mind without you around, your phone blowing up with text and voice messages from him, demanding your unrestricted attention and getting pouty when you don’t immediately reply to him

it’s not like Naoya is jealous or worried that you’d see someone else behind his back–his ego is too big to consider this even a possibility

he’s simply the undefeated champion in the pain in the ass competition 

he’ll act nonchalant when you call him once you’re back at your hotel, trying to sound as if he wasn’t pacing restlessly around all day until his phone finally lit up with your name on display

asking you about your day comes second, first you’ll have to listen to him whining how much it sucks without you around and that this’ll be the last time that he’s allowing you as your husband to go on a solo mission (he’s ignoring your unrestrained laughter about it), and that you’ll have to think of something to make it up to him on your way home which will be in 3 days, 11 hours and 27 minutes (he’s counting)

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), video call sex, dirty talk, masturbation, praise kink, mention of spitting, sweet talking Naoya into submission, he has nipple piercings in this one, Naoya being his own warning

“Seriously? You couldn’t wait three seconds to at least show me your face before flipping the camera to your dick?”

You lie on your stomach in a hotel bed that’s way too big for you alone, fresh out of the shower, glancing down at your phone in your hand. After a long day of fighting an extremely nasty curse, you crave nothing more than rubbing one out to the voice of your husband and passing out immediately afterwards. Your hips grind lazily into a pillow between your legs, feeling that familiar throb, while Naoya on the other end strokes himself on display as slowly, his thumb drawing circles over his leaking tip. His moans are slightly muffled over the speaker.

“Can’t help it, babe, I’ve been like this all day, aching for ya. Had my cock throbbing even at family dinner. Been thinking about nothing other than stuffing all of yer greedy holes. Just look–”

The movements of the video get a bit shaky when he fists his cock, pumping himself at a leisurely pace. You’ve memorized every vein of his cock, feeling your mouth water a little at the sight of it. While Naoya wasn’t a size king, he had the girth and you vividly remember how he knocked the air out of your lungs when he pounded you into the mattress for the very first time. You roll your hips some more, chasing for the right friction to get you off, the camera still aimed at your face. 

“Then gimme a show at least,” you whine and put on a small pout which you know Naoya can never resist. If there’s anything Naoya loves, then it’s attention and praise, and he is way too easy to bait into whatever could offer him that.

“Oh, ‘m gonna give yer a show, baby. Gonna make ya regret not being here with me. I’d have ya drooling all over my cock if yer were here with me now,” he rattles. “Would spit in yer mouth, that’s how ya like it, dontcha?” 

The display turns dark and blurry for a moment, and you can practically feel the excitement from the other end of the line when Naoya props his phone up against something to have his hands free. He is so obedient at times, yet he would hate to hear that. For the first time today you get a glimpse of his face now, the pink of his tongue poking out slightly between his lips, his hakama pants hanging unfastened from his hips, his cock resting heavy on his thigh when he leans back.

“The shirt, too,” you demand. “Take it off.”

“Nah, too many buttons,” Naoya huffs and grips his cock again, making sure to angle it just right at the camera. Oh, how he wished you were on your knees before him right now. All the ways he’d mess you up. 

“Then pull it up at least. C’mon, put it in your mouth like I do it for you sometimes,” you coax him in your sweetest, sultriest voice. “I know you can be a good boy for me.”

Naoya’s hips yerk up slightly at the praise and he lets out a shaky breath, clearly trying to restrain himself from coming too fast. His resilience is crumbling so easily at the sight of your pretty face and he hastily grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, biting down on it to keep the fabric from sliding down again. One nice side effect of this was that with his mouth stuffed, he would shut up for once. 

“Mmm, yes. That’s it, so good, aren’t you?” you coo and have Naoya gripping his cock tighter, his movements getting sloppy. His abs contracted with every jerk of his hand, and soon he was whining and panting, legs spread apart so beautifully for your perfect view. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?”, you ask while grinding against your pillow, mesmerized by the sight on your display. Seeing a man like Naoya falter so easily at your words alone has you feeling a certain kind of arousal, pooling right in your stomach. 

It makes you want to wreck him entirely. 

Naoya nods and whimpers, using his free hand to play with his nipple piercing, all while his other pumps himself into a higher sphere. His hips are bucking and precum is drooling from his pink tip, making a mess out of him and amplifying the lewd sounds. 

He doesn’t last long, and when he cums thick white ropes fall onto his stomach, his mouth hanging agape. His cheeks are flushed and he mewls while he keeps stroking himself, milking every last drop out of him while chanting your name in a needy voice.

This. This might be your favorite sight ever. 

“Such a good boy. So good for me. Now bend over for me, hm? Show’s not over yet.”

[beachbxtchforev]

Stagecoach Diary

your friends had organized the perfect weekend, but you’re forced to share a space with your enemy Drew.

pairing: Drew Starkey x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: 18+, smut, oral (fem! receiving), curse words, close proximity trope ish, enemies to lovers, slow burn

country music. the desert. drinks. friends.

you were so excited to experience your first Stagecoach. growing up, your Midwest summers were always accompanied by country radio, so the opportunity to see all of your favorite artists in one place was one you couldn’t pass on. Maddie organized the whole thing; plane tickets, festival passes, and a gorgeous house just outside of the festival grounds.

it was also your first time traveling with your group of friends.

when you guys finally arrived at the airbnb, Maddie explained how she planned the sleeping arrangements. her and Carlacia in one bedroom, Madison and Mariah in another, Chase and Austin sharing, and you in a room by yourself. your single room had a catch, however. Drew, who was sleeping on the air mattress, would need to use the bathroom attached to your room since it was closest to the bonus area that was being makeshifted into a bedroom for him.

while you wouldn’t think this would be a big deal, it was.

you and Drew were not friends. you could probably be classified as acquaintances, mutuals maybe, but definitely not friends. and you really don’t know why you guys aren’t close. when you were first introduced to the friend group, he smiled, introduced himself and then acted as if you didn’t exist. you deemed him as rude and childish, wondering what you did in five minutes to push him away.

so, it became mutual. neither of you communicated and you made an awkward tension for the rest of the group.

“y/n is that okay? I know it’s not ideal but it was the best house available for the weekend” Maddie reasoned with you, treading lightly to test out your feelings regarding the living situation.

“yes, totally fine! Drew and I are adults, we can share a space for the weekend” you said, convincing her that you were brushing off your differences for the time being. which was partially true, as long as you didn’t really have to interact, it wasn’t a problem.

you roll your bag to your room, eager to start getting ready since it’s Friday morning, tonight being the first of the festival.

Maddie hired a glam team for the girls, so really all you needed was to put together an outfit. researching Stagecoach beforehand, you noticed it was a major fashion event among influencers and celebrities. you have a small following just from being associated with the cast, so you know you had to do it big.

you opted for a sheer tie front tank, lace midi skirt, chunky belt, and boots. given that the festival is multiple days, you can really experiment with different styles.

thankfully, the girls and guys had separated for this part of the process, so you and Drew weren’t running into any problems regarding sharing the bathroom. the boys moved to the backyard of the house, getting their drinking started early and playing corn hole while you girls gathered in the living room with the professionals.

after doing some professional photos out back and inside, it was time for the group to head to the festival. you were tipsy from the pregame, swaying and singing on your walk over, hand in hand with Maddie and Carlacia. the group laughed and giggled at you guys, taking some candid photos and videos that you know are bound to make it in the photo dump.

you guys had VIP passes, but stopped frequently to talk with fans, get drinks, and make sure the group was still together. finally, Morgan Wallen came onto main stage and had you singing and dancing your little heart out. what you didn’t notice in your drunken moments was the fact that Drew couldn’t keep his eyes off of you all night. the way you moved your arms to reach for one of the girls, the way your hips swayed when you danced, especially because of your cheeky bottoms. he became infatuated by you, the way he always had been.

the show was over and you guys made your way back to the house. you had sobered up a lot by now and were ready to get in the shower to wash the day’s dirt off of you. walking into your bedroom, you gather your things for a hot shower. you didn’t realize that the bathroom door didn’t close all of the way when you stripped to get under the water.

the mix of the warmth and pressure instantly relaxed you as the water pelted your sore body. so relaxed that behind the noise of the water running, you couldn’t hear Drew knocking on your bedroom door and ultimately letting himself in when you didn’t answer.

you also didn’t notice that he caught a glimpse of you behind the clear glass wall of the shower through the crack in the bathroom door. he couldn’t tear his eyes away, even if he tried. you were lathering soap on your body, running your hands over your chest and down your arms. he could feel himself growing in his pants at the sight of your simple movements, and it wasn’t until he dropped his shampoo on the ground that you noticed his presence.

“Drew?” you gasped, “how long have yo-“

“sorry! sorry, I-“ he quickly put his head down, trying to grab the bottle off the floor, flustered.

he finally picked up his things, about to turn and leave when he hears your voice, “wait!”

he doesn’t know where to look when he turns back around, awkwardly acknowledging the fact that you just caught him staring at you naked and he’s fully clothed.

“you can get in if you want to shower. I haven’t even touched my hair yet and I will probably take forev-“ you start rambling, but notice he has now stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. you watch closely as he begins to remove his clothes, biting your lip when he starts to reveal himself.

you don’t know what you were thinking when you offered to let him in the shower with you, but you were enjoying the view. when he steps out of his jeans, you see his cock for the first time and wonder if you have ever seen one prettier than his. it’s hard, and long, probably due to the fact that he has been looking at your boobs for the last five minutes and imaging the rest of your wet body.

you make room for him when he steps into the stall. “hi” you say sheepishly, as it comes out in a whisper. it felt like if you used your full voice it would pull you out of the moment.

he grins down at you, instantly relieving you of any awkwardness that could be happening. his eyes scan down your body, “you’re so beautiful y/n,” he murmurs as he bring his hand up to caress your face, “and motherfuckin’ sexy too” he adds.

you giggle, shocked to hear he feels this way about you. you nuzzle your head into his palm that’s attached to your cheek, taking a step closer to him so that your nipples are grazing his abdomen. the contact makes your take a sharp inhale. you’re so wet just at his simple actions, hoping he makes a move.

his thumb swipes back and forth, tracing your cheekbone before moving over your lips. you can’t help but open your mouth, running your tongue over it and sucking.

he groans, “shit baby, you’re playing with fire,” his words making you clench your thighs as your tongue swirls around the pad of his finger.

you release it from your mouth, “and what’re you gonna do about it, Starkey?”

his response is clear when his mouth comes down on yours, teeth slightly clashing, tongues fighting for dominance. all of your built up tension coming out in a kiss. you moan into his mouth as he brings his left hand to your chest, keeping the right locked around your jaw. he pulls away as his fingers tweak your nipple, “this okay baby?” he asks to which your fiercely nod your head.

“I need words sweetheart,”

“y-yes, please. more.” you moan out.

he chuckles, “good girl” then returns his lips to your neck. you feel his tongue meet the junction between your neck and shoulder before moving lower. replacing his hand, his lips close around your left bud. sucking and nibbling, getting another moan from you before moving to the right side. your hands grip his hair, trying to keep yourself upright while letting the pleasure takeover.

his lips move lower as he gets onto his knees in front of you. ghosting over your bellybutton, he grips your right calf and swings your leg over his shoulder.

“such a pretty pussy y/n,” he says, eyes quickly glancing up to meet yours, “so wet for me baby”

“yes, all for you Drew” you respond. breathless and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“I’m gonna taste you, okay?”

“yes, yes! please” your hand in his now wet hair pushes him toward you, waiting to feel his mouth on you.

he licks a stripe over your slit, before his tongue rubs circles against your clit. the noises coming from you encourage him to wrap his lips around your bud and suck. you swear your knees might give out.

he moves his tongue to your hole, thrusting it in in a quick motion. you let out a scream, hoping the whole house doesn’t realize what you two are doing. your back is now pushed against the glass, cold feeling good against your hot skin as he tongue fucks you. “Drew! I’m gonna cum!” you breath out.

“cum on my tongue baby, let go,” he responds ready to catch your release. your whole body jolts as the band in your lower belly snaps, gushing onto his face.

“if I would have known this is how it was going to go, I would have walked in on you a lot sooner”

-

let me know what you think! 🤍✨

[virescent-v]

School Yard Bully

hi hello! a cheeky bingo req incoming!

could i request Emily x Reader with the prompt „I want to hear you beg”? Maybe a bit of enemies to lovers? <3

Filling the prompt for the lovely @prentiss-theorem bingo :)

Summary: Emily's had it out for you since you joined the BAU. What is her deal?!

Word count: 2k+

Warnings: Some light cursing. Surprisingly, no smut yall, sorry to disappoint ;)

You’ve busted your ass every single day since joining the BAU. You got the job on a whim, a chance connection between your previous boss and someone within the office. You didn’t ask too many questions; you were just excited for a once in a lifetime opportunity to show off your knowledge and skills. 

Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone found your presence…helpful. Most of the team had no issues with you, accepting you with open arms, showing you the ropes and learning as much as they could about you. 

Actually, there was only one person who seemed to have an issue with your arrival. 

Emily. 

You weren’t really sure what the problem was. From the get go, she’s seemed to have it out for you in some way or another. At first, you thought it was just normal newbie hazing. But, it’s been months and she’s never warmed up to you. 

She constantly berates you in front of others, never taking your suggestions seriously, always doubting the information you shared, finding second opinions from other team members when she could. She always found excuses to never be alone in the same room with you, always got out of doing interrogations, stakeouts, or assignments with you. She didn’t ask you any personal questions; hell, she barely tried to talk to you. If she did, it was usually snarky, sassy, and to be honest, a little rude. 

At this point, you’d learned to try your best to stay away from her. 

Hotch had noticed almost immediately that something was off. He tried talking to the two of you together about it, but both of you said nothing. He kept Emily in his office after you left, their voices raised from inside the office. She left not five minutes after you, slamming his door shut on her way out before leaving the office for the day. 

No one else on the team seemed to know what was up with Emily either. 

Penelope, JJ, Derek, and Spencer had all had separate conversations with you regarding her behavior, trying to get to the bottom of it. None of them had a clue. 

Regardless of her behavior, you knew that she wouldn’t let anything happen to you in the field. She was no nonsense, and somehow that made you feel a little bit better. 

Still, it pissed you off that you knew you hadn’t done anything to her, and yet, she was still a bitch to you. 

At the six month mark, you could tell the team was getting frustrated by the lack of connection between the two of you. You oftentimes didn’t do after-work social gatherings because you didn’t want to make Emily hate you even more. She was here first after all. 

“Oh, come on! You never hang out with us!” Penelope exclaimed, tugging on the sleeve of your blazer. “Just this once, please!” 

You could feel yourself giving in to the temptation of a night with the group. After a hellish week at work, you could use the drink and some unwinding at David’s. 

But, you knew that Emily was going, as her and JJ had been talking about what food from Rossi they were most looking forward to at lunch. 

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. “I don’t know, Pen. I’m not really feeling up to…all that,” you sighed, taking a sidelong glance at where Emily was in conversation with Reid. 

Penelope sighed right back at you. “I know, sugarplum. But you two need to work out your issues. For the betterment of the team. And both of your sanities.” 

You rolled your eyes, Penelope’s truthful words putting you on edge. You knew that you couldn’t let Emily bully you forever, but you really just didn’t have it in you to deal with her sarcastic comments tonight. 

You crossed your arms before looking Penelope in the eyes. “Fine, I will go,” you said, Penelope whooping in excitement. “On one condition.” 

Penelope’s face went straight, one of the most serious looks on her face you’ve ever seen. “Name it.” 

You smirked. “You run interference and don’t leave me alone in a room with her.” 

Penelope’s smile grew. “You got it, sweet cheeks.” 

*

You and Penelope arrived at David's at the same time, heading immediately inside to his stocked bar, quickly making yourself a drink. 

You had barely taken a sip before Emily was in your face, making some snarky comment about how you handled yourself during the case this past week. You could feel your irritation growing, even though Penelope was trying her hardest to distract and move the conversation along. JJ shuffled her feet, trying to pull Emily away towards the dart board Rossi had for a game. 

For whatever reason, Emily wasn’t taking the hint or bait. She stayed focused on you, her dark eyes burning holes into you. You could feel the heat flushing up your chest, finding a home on your round cheeks. 

You felt like the odd kid out, just like you did in elementary school. You didn’t deserve her hatred, her comments growing more and more fierce. You hated how well Emily could read you, even for someone who didn’t know you that well. She was finding every insecurity you had and digging her claws into them, overwhelming you. 

Instead of embarrassment or shame heating up your insides, all you felt was fury. It had been months of rude ass comments and you were getting absolutely sick of it. 

“Fuck off, Emily,” you all but growled. You watched as she paused for a second, almost as if she was in shock of you finally sticking up for yourself. 

She quickly refocused, a slight smirk on her lips. “And if I don’t?” Her eyebrow lifted. 

You scanned your eyes up and down her body, noticing how Emily’s body was almost leaning closer to yours, ready for a fight. Your expression mirrored her own. “You don’t know me, Prentiss, of your own doing,” you paused, watching as Emily seemed to be hanging on to your every word. “I’ll kick your ass if I need to. Now, leave me alone and let me enjoy my drink in peace,” you turned back to the bar, trying to find the rum to make yourself another drink. 

Before you could, you felt two warm hands on your hips, forcibly turning you around. 

You came face to face with Emily, her body so close with every breath you could feel her breasts graze yours, her arms on either side of you on the counter, closing you in. “I’d like to see you try, princess,” she whispered, her breath ghosting over yours, the smell of liquor present, but not overly strong. 

At this point, you were absolutely fed up with Emily. You shoved her off of you, causing her to stumble a little over her own feet. Before you could rush forward, Derek was pulling you in the opposite direction, Hotch pulling Emily in the other. 

“Enough!” Hotch yelled, causing the irritated banter between the two of you to stop completely. “I have had enough of this, whatever this is, between the two of you. It ends tonight.” He motioned to Derek, both of them dragging you off further into the house, shoving both of you into one of Rossi’s guest bedrooms. 

Before either of you could make towards the door, you heard a lock click into place. “No fucking way,” Emily hissed. She tried the handle, finding it impossible to move. “Let us out! Come on guys, this isn’t funny!” 

“No, what isn’t funny is your behavior towards each other for the past six months. It ends tonight. I’m serious,” Hotch spoke. “You two will stay in that room until you work whatever this is out.” 

“You’re treating us like teenagers, Hotch! Now let me out!” Emily said, banging her fist on the door. 

“I wouldn’t have to treat you like teenagers if you acted like grown adults. Have a good night, guys!” 

You and Emily could hear multiple sets of footsteps leading down the long, secluded hallway away from the room. 

“Those sons of bitches,” Emily muttered. “I will make them pay when I get out of here.” 

You scoffed, drawing Emily’s attention once more. “Oh, come off it, Em. This is one-hundred percent your fault.” 

Now it was Emily’s turn to scoff. “My fault? Mine?! How the hell is this my fault!?” 

You rolled your eyes, the anger simmering just under the surface. “You’ve been a raging cunt since I got here, Prentiss. I tried for months to befriend you. To get on your good side. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t. So, I gave up. I stayed away from you.” You could feel the fight slowly leaving you, entirely spent on this ongoing argument. 

You stared down at your hands, fiddling with the wristband of your watch, a nervous habit you’ve never been able to break. “I begged Hotch for a transfer, but he denied it. You’ve made my life hell since joining the BAU, Emily, so much so that I wanted to leave.” You sighed. “I don’t know what I did that pissed you off so much, but I’m done fighting with you. You win.” 

You weren’t sure how you were going to face the team whenever they decided to let you out, but you could feel the blush staining your cheeks already from embarrassment. You wondered if this was going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and force you to quit, a thought that’s been rattling around for a few weeks. 

“The first day you walked into the BAU, you took my breath away,” Emily whispered. 

Your head snapped up, trying to catch her eyes, but finding her facing away from you, her arms curled around herself protectively. 

Emily chuckled humorlessly. “God, you were so gorgeous and bright eyed and excited and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to kiss you.” She paused, looking up, finding a dumbstruck expression on your face, your mouth hanging open in shock. 

“Probably wasn’t the best way to go about things, ya know, but I settled into the middle school-bully your crush-ideal and it just stuck,” she sighed. “I think it was a way to protect myself.” Her eyes caught yours. “Because I knew that you were capable of tearing my heart to pieces.” 

You felt about ten different emotions run through you at once. “Are you fucking kidding me, Emily?” 

You watched as Emily instinctively took a step back, wincing at the tone of your voice. “I’m sorry, I-” 

“No, Emily. It’s my turn to talk now,” you said, making your way towards her. “You bullied me for months just because you had a crush on me?” You asked incredulously. 

Emily went to talk, but you smacked your hand over her mouth. “You bullied me, Prentiss, when we could’ve been kissing this whole time?” 

You found it almost comical how wide Emily’s eyes got, your sentence sinking in. You started to giggle at her attempting to speak with your hand still over her mouth. “Wanna try that again?” 

She took a deep breath, settling her eyes on yours. “Can I take you out to dinner to make up for it?” 

You closed the distance between the two of you entirely, your chest flush with hers. You could feel the quickened rise and fall of her chest, feel her stuttered breaths against your face. You trailed your hand down the side of her face slowly, watching her pupils dilate as you moved down her jaw, across her collarbone, before settling it on the middle of her chest, feeling the rapid pace of her heart beneath your fingers. “I want to hear you beg, Emily,” you smirked. “You owe me that much.”

Emily licked her lips, her smile growing large and sinister. She leaned forward, her lips brushing your ear. “Please, princess,” she emphasized the pet name, almost mockingly. “Let me eat you out. Sorry,” she cleared her throat. “Take you out. Let me take you out.” 

You threw your head back and laughed, full bellied and loud. Your hand lightly smacked at her chest. 

“Next Friday, seven p.m. sharp. Take me out and make it up to me, Emily.” “Yes, princess,” Emily winked.

------

A/N: thanks for reading yall :) I might turn this into a part 2 with smut but idk lololol

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on JJK chapter 263 (spoilers)

Hollow Purple destroys the domains of Sukuna and Yuta and we see that, contrary to popular assumption, Yuta actually hit Sukuna dead on. The problem? Yuta couldn't fully utilize HP, the output was probably too low. Sukuna has sustained one additional injury though.

This is an awesome ensemble but I am disappointed that we didn't see any kind of reaction from Yuji in regards to Gojo and Yuta. He's in complete battle mode but it can't be that he'll stay this emotionless for so long. At some point he'll reach his breaking point.

The shards of Yuta's barrier haven't fully dissolved yet, which means that Todo can use them for his swapping. During the course of the battle, Todo's vibra slap gets damaged though.

Meanwhile Yuta falls over because limitless has burned out after his DE ended. Kenjaku's CT has apparently also burned out too. As it looks like (really confusing here) Copy is still active. The 5 minute limit on Kenjaku's CT is suspended for now. In the next chapters we'll see if Yuta dies when that limit is finally reached.

Sukuna uses a black flash on Todo who survives with some damage. Yuta doesn't just lie in the dirt though and actively maintains the shards of his broken barrier so Todo can use them.

And Yuji is still here trying to save Megumi 😢

But there is a step that is missing. Megumi was not ready to be saved the last time we saw him so what will happen even when Yuji breaks Sukuna's soul away from Megumi's body? Megumi would still need to suppress Sukuna but with how shattered he is right now Sukuna will probably have the opportunity to take control again. (Though hopefully not immediately)

It's also funny how Sukuna still uses Megumi's full name while it's only Okkotsu for Yuta.

What the fuck did Sukuna do to Tengen? What is this? Saturn eating his son? Maternal cannibalism? Did Sukuna destroy the body of Tengen and eat it right after to fuse the key to the merger with his and Megumi's body?

In that case, it might be more difficult to separate him from Megumi and the activation of the merger might come involuntarily.

Angel is back! Todo sacrificed his CT for her though.

And Sukuna's thoughts on Yuji's blows being the most effective against him was false! It was Jacob's Ladder that had always been the most effective. It's also noteworthy that Sukuna had been duped by Boogie Woogie again. Just the same as not thinking of Angel also being there. He had just been subjected to the original cursed speech by Toge too. The King is losing his edge.

Jacob's ladder is activated again. For those who only read the weekly chapters and not the volumes the little cherubs on the side will be their first time seeing them.

So what will happen now????

Will it succeed? Will the battle go on?? Will Megumi have the will to fight on? Or will we get another story before we get the resolution to this one? Will the thing Sukuna did to Tengen have negative effects on every one?

So many questions and a break week next time. But the quality of the drawings was really good this week.

[whalesforhands]

hi!! how are you doing? i saw that you're still feeling sick? so please take care and i hope you feel better soon :(

i have a question regarding the dyf au!! how would the dynamics in the relationship be if there was an argument between any of them? how would each of them act?? i think getting into that would be pretty interesting lol

again, hope you feel better soon and thank you!

p.s: i'm the crying anon, if you still remember me lol. i might as well sign as 💫 if that's okay with you and no one else is doing it??

ofc i rmbr u :)

arguments rarely happen between all 3 of you. mostly because dyf mc is someone who is pretty ‘go with the flow’, and satosugu would fold at any of your requests, since they find it hard to deny you.

on the off chance that they do happen though. it depends on who is angry. all in all, nobody here likes going to bed angry at each other.

suguru is angry? quite the sisyphean feat, given his godlike patience. you’d have to get injured, or into extremely serious situations in which he told you to stay away from. there’s a silent atmosphere as he gently bandages you up, you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of him, tells you to take care of yourself better before locking himself up in a separate room to read the hours away to calm down. once he is (usually 2-3 hours) he goes to whichever one of you that made him mad, creaking the door open a crack to watch as you/satoru sulk and await his attention nearby, settling down next to you curled up on the floor/picking you up and bringing you into the reading room, adjusts your positions to be staring straight into your eyes (usually on his lap), awaiting for you to tell him the whole story. (you get lectured afterwards, regardless of whether you were right/wrong)

satoru is angry? surprisingly more patient than you think. again, this is hard to achieve. he makes his anger very apparent. cold shoulder, pouts, crosses his arms to prevent his hands from reaching out to touch either of you. only gets mad when he knows he’s in the right, yet you won’t listen. he told you not to take that mission, told you not to go to this region, that he will take it instead of you, told you not to expend so much cursed energy. why won’t either of you listen when he’s trying to genuinely help in a way he knows he can? he’s the strongest, please, please just let him do it. though, he won’t separate himself away to try and deal with his problems, he’ll wait for you to come to him. he expects a ‘im sorry’ hug, sweets of any kind, and even sweeter kisses that could potentially devolve into strenuous ‘makeup activities’. he doesn’t mind if it doesn’t. just hold his hand when you’re telling him you’re sorry. he likes it.

you’re angry? well, get ready to be confronted, whether you want to be or not. you will not be sleeping in another room, or away from them. no. sit down, tell them what’s wrong and they will fix it now.

see a pattern here? talk your problems out. like i said, nobody is going to bed angry in this household.

[rosyk]

Seven in Silence

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: heavy angst, romance, slight thriller, passion

warnings: family problems, anxiety, separation issues, depression, and light curses

word count: 17.1k

a/n: Hello everyone! I came back from the dead lol. This was not proofread but also the most interesting story I've handled because I wrote the first part two years ago and continued it this year. I really enjoyed how this one ended up and I hope you do too <3 (also any feedback regarding the way I changed [name] to y/n instead cause others seemed to be enjoying it better; what do you think?)

There I was again, planning to do the usual routine even at my best friend’s wedding. Right, I was supposed to be happily crying for her but today seemed off. The tears overflowing as I faced the mirror in the women’s restroom, burns my cheeks and sore my eyes. It hurts so bad but it isn’t as if that wasn’t my everyday lifestyle. I cried after knowing I had another day to suffer and wept in my sleepless nights. Common breakdowns, that’s it. I take this as something unacceptable though especially in the time my partner in crime would be off in her white dress. I should be in joy, rather than make her feel bad.

I sniffed and wiped away my tears. I pulled out a foundation on my favorite sling bag and placed it on my face to cover up the marks under my eyes. As I was about to leave, I hesitated twisting the doorknob. “Great” I sighed after remembering. I am not on good terms with some people she’s friends with, but I don’t want to break it to her. I shook all the thoughts away and took a deep breath to prepare myself. Opening the door, my first steps were something I was proud of. 

Heading to the same table as they are, they greeted me with smiles. What I meant by that was ‘humiliating grins’. I despised it but I should make sure I wouldn’t cause another ruckus. 

“Anyone with you?” Emily, the girl who mocked me in class way back in high school, decided to speak up. The remaining girl fake gasped and her eyes widened in false concern. “Sorry, shouldn’t have talked about it” smugly, she remarked. 

They know well that my best friend is the only one I could count on. After my image was broken due to them setting me up, she’s the only one who accepted me at my worst. It still pains me that after this reception, I’d be all alone once again. 

Without letting them recognize the effect they’ve placed on me, I gave a slight smile that remains unnoticeable and replied “It’s fine. I went here alone, and it doesn’t matter”. I let it off with a slight chuckle to make it appear as a joke but they understood the context in which her group rolled their eyes and some scoffed. Reminiscing the memories, I saw her crying to death when she couldn’t be accepted in their ‘sorority’. She couldn’t live without having someone by her side, but I could; that’s the difference I wanted to say. 

Hearing the host clearing his throat, we were brought back to reality and faced him. He started with opening remarks that took too long for me to struggle to keep my tears back on my eyes. Swiftly acting as if I was admiring the place, I looked up and around the venue for a short while for it not to appear so obvious. 

Hours came by and yes, she was married and it was a mission accomplished. Her partner or now known as her husband is a lucky guy to be able to live with Yuna throughout her life. Everyone needs a Yuna; I’m so happy for her but now that I can’t be that free in communicating with her as she had other duties as a wife, seemed to be a problem for me.

It was just us in a cafe right now to celebrate, like what her friends claimed to say. Awful, suffocating, I was so out of place because I never was in their group. Not that I would want to anyway.

Every time they’d joke, I forced a slight chuckle as if I was amused with everything they said. Yuna, who is quite naive, was really happy because I get to enjoy myself with them. Her friends, on the other hand, raised their eyebrows at me and tried to hold in their laughter because they intended to make an inside joke I’ve never heard of. My pride sank but all I could do was smile.

The room was filled with loud chatters, contrastingly, I sighed mentally. It was a crowded room but I felt lonely somehow. I’m convinced it reassured me that I would have to be alone at the end of the day, and it’s not helping me get over it. The walls continued to scream insecurities and insincerities. 

Thus to distract myself, I shifted my eyes and it landed on a tall man in the window, just right after a couple finished eating and left it vacant. The atmosphere was pretty awkward after realizing his eyes reached mines. It took seconds until Yuna waved her hand in front, causing me to flinch a bit. 

“Hey, are you on the same planet as me? What are you spacing out for?” She continued and exhaled deeply. I blinked my eyes and finally registered the sequence of events after a few minutes. The others started to laugh and commented about how funny I was, which was an act of sarcasm to continue their process of humiliating me in subtle ways.

“Are you desperate to the point that you’re seeing things?” Regine, Emily’s sidekick, boldly opened the discussion even in front of Yuna. 

My best friend, of course, was left surprised and scolded her. “Gina!” she whisper-yelled and her eyebrows furrowed as a sign that she was disturbed by it. She started patting my back and I appreciated that she tried to console me somehow; even though it had hurt me more than enough. 

“What? Even we’re curious!” They laughed in unison except for Yuna. My partner in crime didn’t know about my discomfort but she got the hint that they were used to talking bad about me. She was exasperated due to the reason that it was hard to believe. After all, I seemed ‘close’ with her group.

It did create a sting in my heart and indeed I thought of it. Was it my hallucination? But all I could focus on was the blonde’s eyes who seemed to know me so well. Yes, it was impossible, even I think I was going crazy. I wasn’t able to identify his face. If a handsome, perfect guy was to come my way, is it logical to comprehend that I’d forget him? Definitely not. I didn’t know what hit me; is it my drive of finding another friend who’ll love me even after being the worst? Was it guilt? I’m not too sure myself but his eyes held meaning. It was like he asked the same question as I did a while ago; have we met?

My gut tells me to follow after him and my curiosity cheered me on. “I’m excusing myself” I didn’t look back and quickly took my sling bag with me and left. My white flowy dress blew up a bit but dropped as soon as I placed my bag on me. I ran and heard Yuna calling me out and it’s conclusive that the remaining felt like they’ve won because my best friend shouted furiously at them. Though I didn’t care as I was fixated with the guy. There’s something about him. 

Except he wasn’t in the same place anymore. Scanning the area, I looked at the slim streets in front. “He doesn’t seem to be there as well,” I thought. I heard footsteps coming from my side and warily turned around. 

“Young missy?” He was there. Across the street, his silhouette starts to make its way to me. As soon as he saw my face, he brought up his camera and a flash blinded my eye. That strained a bit and so I winced. I blinked both of my eyes slowly to get rid of the slight feeling that makes me want to puke. The flash affected me but all he did was chuckle and so I glared at him. He then noticed I was ready to place him on his grave so he lifted both of his hands as an indication of surrender. 

“I thought I was in heaven for a moment” I raised one of my eyebrows and bit my cheek in frustration. Call me childish and overreacting, it could affect my eyesight badly and I’m worried about that. Plus, it stings like hell. 

The man could only laugh, in which I thought he was slightly guilty about it until he replied “I wouldn’t blame you after seeing such a figure of mine. I hear that compliment all the time”. I looked up to him in confusion and hoped he got the signal. I expected him to be embarrassed after my expression but he decided to continue. “Better start kneeling and praying!” he sang playfully and lifted one of his fingers to point at each side.

It was lame but I got the gist of it. I stared in pure disgust and rolled my eyes after seeing him tilt his head, suggesting something. Acting as if I could shrug it off, I raised my hand and waved it against the air despite my hidden blush. No one dared to hit me up, so I did sense my legs weakening but balled fists who is tempted to give that smug look an uppercut. “Cut to the chase.” 

His eyes seemed to widen but narrowed soon after. He was listening and interested, that if my interpretation was right. He started to cross his arms and nodded as a signal to let me continue what I’m trying to say.

I was enveloped with embarrassment rather than this shameless guy. I gulped and pointed at him to which he responded with a sound that indicates a question. “You know me”, I bravely stated.

We stared at each other for minutes and each second makes me consider running or hoping I would be swallowed by the ground this instant. After the eyeing, he cracked up and held his stomach. “I know you?” Tears were forming in his eyes due to his uncontrollable laughter. I wanted to dissolve at the exact moment he calmed down but he cackled after because it makes my idea appear insane. But I mean, yes, it did sound like I was mental but why did he make it look like he knows me then? Why did he smile as if he wanted to start a conversation?

“Your eyes say so” I shot in another response and thankfully, he decided to settle down. The volume of his laughs was gradually decreasing so I had the opportunity to get over the shame I’ve felt. But this guy was up to no good.

He started to move towards me and I was crept out, stepping back slowly. He looked serious and stern, I was left shocked by his new demeanor. I bit my lip as I try to stand still and act unbothered due to our closeness. Our chests were pressed together and he bent down to my eye level. Nearer and nearer, he reached for my ear. “That’s love at first sight, darling”

And that was my limit. I kneed a stranger in between his thighs, really hard. 

He let out a yell and bent down due to the unmanageable pain he felt. I backed down a bit and showed my palms. Great, now I am seen as more than crazy. I claimed that he knew me when I can’t even remember his name and physically hurt him. 

“What the hell was that for?!” he exclaimed and by the look of it, I knew he was asking for the reason when he didn’t assault me or made any of my body parts bleed. Instincts wouldn’t be the right reason for that question as well, it seemed to be more of an excuse. 

“Well I just thought-” 

“For heaven’s sake! I may be a flirt, but I don’t take advantage of people. How daring of you to judge that fast” He scoffed and was certainly offended over the matter considering how he emphasized the word ‘that’. I was out of appropriate words that I could freely share. I wasn’t fond of guys much especially when they go near me. Let’s say it was an impulse. 

There may be something more to it, precisely why he had thought that way but I didn’t want to dig deeper about it and act more all-knowing than I already am. I pissed off a stranger’s ego, causing him to leave and walk away.

“Um...Hey!” I desperately tried to catch up to him because maybe, just maybe, did I actually feel a bit bad about it. It’s odd with the high pride that makes me never back down from something even I knew was wrong, to admit and feel guilty. I bit my lip and inhaled deeply as I hoped he would turn around and hear me out. I wanted to shout his name aloud and catch his attention but I recalled I didn’t get to know his name. He called me young miss,  so unintentionally, I did the same in a gender that matches his. “M-mister!” 

Watching from behind, he places his camera inside his side bag and inserts both of his hands on the pocket after wearing his earphones. Acting like he didn’t hear anyone, he walked away in a chill posture. 

My heels were clicking and red marks were all over my ankles. Crouching down as I leaned my weight on hands that were on top of my knees, I tried to catch my breath. I have frequent anger issues so instead of feeling sorry, I felt more annoyed than him. The man in a tux was stubborn and straight out ill-mannered with his impolite, vulgar words which show discourteous actions. I wasn’t judging, he had the personality of doing immoral things based on his dirty jokes. In short, he was angry for being who he actually was.

“Ugh whatever, who cares? It’s not like I’ll see him again” And with that, I rode a cab back to my apartment and decided to leave all my worries aside.

{MONDAY}

Disastrous. I believe that is what’s going to happen after a few more hours. If anyone of you is wondering what happened last night, let me elaborate. 

After riding a cab home in the afternoon, it all started with my other internet friend, Lia. She is sweet and looked innocent but is very outgoing at times. We knew each other on discord by secretly stanning this billboard hit group, Stray Kids and so we decided to meet up. I thought it was a bad idea because it felt like things would go wrong especially when my mom told me not to trust anyone on the internet. Turned out, we had so much fun.

Now back to the story, Lia called me out of the blue and it was the last thing I needed after meeting with ‘mister’. I didn’t want to turn her down though, so I answered. I should’ve known that she would put me in a blind date as usual. I almost had forgotten about that after several months of not seeing her. She insisted I go just for the reason of having her boyfriend by herself. That was when I realized it was her partner’s closest friend. If any, I should be scared because if it doesn’t work out well, or maybe once my mood swings struck again, it would affect their relationship. 

So here I am on a plain cafè I randomly picked out because he seemed uninterested. It had been 3 hours and observing the place, it doesn’t look like he is present nor on his way. Will he ditch me? maybe? probably? very? hell yes. 

The universe is absolutely trying its best to let it seep into my mind that no one would love or find me attractive. Amongst all my 35 dates this year, everyone had my hopes up but leaves me in the dust soon after. It’s not that I expected him to date me because I’m used to getting turned down all the time, I thought he would’ve at least showed up. 

4 hours passed by and it’s obvious he won’t be arriving. The moment I stood up to leave, I saw a familiar guy in sight; the man in tux. At least, he isn’t a stranger anymore but I wasn’t eager to see him. In fact, I never wanted him in my way or my vision. I had this bad image when it comes to him and it’s enough to make me cover myself up by turning around. There’s no use though, his eyes were quick to catch mines. I could hear footsteps coming and it’s making me lose myself. My head was in the opposite direction in which he couldn’t see me and I closed my eyes strongly, hoping a miracle would happen. 

step. ‘Oh no, what am I going to say when he arrives?’

step. ‘goodness gracious. God pick me up’

step. ‘Isn’t he going to stop?’

step. ‘Damn, I’d rather be spending my whole life with those 3 mean girls than seeing him’

step. ‘send me back to hell, he’s getting close’

step. ‘and closer’

step. ‘I could hear his breath but please don’t say anything

step. ‘Not a word stranger, please’

“Hey?” 

“Asshole”

My eyes widened in surprise due to my unintended murmur and I quickly turned around to face him. He put on the same reaction I had. Panicking, I covered up my mouth with my shaky hands. “I am- oh my god.... I’m so sorry” I ran my hands through my face aggressively and exhaled sharply. “i-it just came out” my voice was low enough to be heard as I wallowed myself up in mortification. 

I then listened to the sound of the chair squeaking a bit, being dragged for the man to sit down. He sat in front of me and was willing to talk about things. Incredible, how more magnificent could my day be after being turned down and the guy who knew about it thought of me as someone crazy. “I’m hopelessly horrid, aren’t I?” I refused to look until I heard him let out the cutest laugh I’ve ever heard. 

“still can’t get over yesterday?” he asked while placing his hand to let his head rest on it. I slowly lifted my head and gave another sigh that made him respond in a chuckle. Tugging my hair and looking at him with apologetic eyes, I do hope he understood I’m sincere about this.

“it’s just- I misunderstood things and offended you.... I am uncomfortable with guys plus something just happened that day that- yea...” I couldn’t sort out everything I wanted to say so I shifted my eyes to the side. Realizing I was close to crying in remorse and chagrin, I sniffed. After all, even though I looked like someone who seemed immature and doesn’t give a crap about everyone else, I was still a sensitive woman who just lost people and doesn’t want to make herself look more rotten and depressing than she already is. I needed friends but now that I have this ‘judgmental’ impression from the man, how can I have more people I could rely on? It’s also not him I’m in deep concern of, but other strangers who thought of me the same way he did. What if I was unintentionally rude to some? Dear me, I’m such a mess.

He must’ve noticed the teeny drops in my eyes that soon overflowed as I lifted my head, demanding the discreet tears to fall back in its cage. But it was to no use; he solved my puzzle way faster than anyone else who tried to have a gist of my life. It was a bittersweet feeling that arose my mind and touched my heart. Finally needing no words spoken, he knew what was lying behind the facade I was trying to pull dreadfully to save the only thing I have with me, my pride. Simultaneously, I loathe the idea of having a stranger identify my agony rather than those I trust which makes me come across conclusions that I was an open book or my friend was just gullible. I neither liked any of the conclusions stated so my mind ran off to hating him. 

“Must’ve been hard...” Inhaling torment and breathing out pity, he thought of words that could ease my ache. I didn’t need his comfort charity but if I were somebody else who’d stare at me, the same thought comes up and I despised it. From the bottom of my heart, I meant every word I said. This is why I don’t open up discussions regarding my life, it makes everyone look down on me “Luckily, I’m still here. I’m quite the social butterfly and we fit don’t you think?” a subtle pout showed up in his lips but the right corner rose, making it look like a kittenish smile. I was not surprised though if we talk about this man, he’s always the ‘playful’ type. Taking his words literally, I interrupted.

“Because you’re the open type who have many friends but I was the unfortunate lonely lass? Opposite attract. Yeah right, such great chemistry” Bitterly, I spat those words like poison and rolled my eyes. Crossing my arms and huffed, ‘an indirect jerk’ I thought.

His hands shook in the air and his eyes started to panic to refuse my statement. He did think of it but I do know it was unintentional. Still, it just meant he pitied me a few minutes ago. “N-no! Of course not!” He tried to explain.

Even I can’t decipher my complicated moods but him trying his best to clarify for the whole 20 minutes quite had an effect on me. Chuckling in a low volume in which he instantly noted, I still bothered to hide my smile by placing my palm to cover my lips. His face turned smug and teasing, and I knew what he meant so I rolled my eyes and denied it by shaking my head but now in a humorous intention.

“You laughed” His eyes grew wide, making me resist those dark brown eyes. It made me lost in track for a moment but good for me, he wasn’t quick enough to notice that. It wasn’t a lie after all when he said he received such compliments of him being so heavenly; I was indeed in heaven after having a glimpse of him.

Before I could further analyze anything and start being creepy, I coughed to distract myself and responded to him lazily. “What? Don’t people laugh?”

He raised his hand just enough for the waiter to see and proceed heading to our table. I’ve thought of denying his offer but since he had already called on, it was fine anyway. What’s the worse that could happen?

“one iced americano” he didn’t even take time to read the menu and passed it on to me. Noticing my look in confusion, he asked as if I was judging him again “What?”

“Really?” My tone dropped and sarcastically asked. “just an espresso please. Thank you” quickly scanning over the menu and told the the waiter my order, the man went back and did his job. I faced back to the guy in a tux and my expression changed as fast.  “An iced americano after it’s literally freezing outside?” His shoulders rose up and down to shrug but I could only chuckle in his mere response.

“Excuse me? I like Americano! chowa chowa~” We both sang in unison, cringing, though his eyes went larger as mine grew narrow because of the grin plastered on my face. 

“Wah! That was scary, how did you know that?”  that hit me in an effect different from what I wanted but honestly, the mood was a bit lighter than my experience in the past. 

“Someone never failed to tell me that every day” with a sigh, I placed my head at the top my palm and smiled to myself. Oh, how I missed to hear those words again. 

“May I know who?” He seemed enthusiastic considering the way he scooted closer comfortably. I knew I couldn’t get away with this kind of curiosity because he didn’t flinch a little when I gave him that oh-how-nosy-of-you look as if he stepped within the boundaries.

“I don’t know. I just know I talked to that someone.” 

Confusion filled the loudest silence and I wondered what was wrong with what I said. Pretty sure some people don’t know all the details in their life right? Is it needed to learn this kind of information? He froze with mouth agape and I blinked, hoping he’d get back to his senses. It scared me as I looked back to everything that happened. I felt guilty, what for?

“Are you dumb?” he deadpanned looked at me and thought as if that was the lamest joke he had ever heard. Unfortunately, everything was real. I mirrored his emotions causing him to stutter all over.  “I- what? Are you naive or were your memories taken away?!” He gasped so dramatically, not that I expected him not to. 

“Idiot, if my memories were taken away, I would’ve known.” I lift my upper lip and stared at him in disbelief. 

He cackled in response with his usual endearing laugh. “How would you know then if your memories were taken away?” Mimicking a cry, he can’t still hold his laughter back. Much more after I froze and let out a small ‘oh’ in realization. It gradually faded off and he flicked my forehead. “Idiot” he retorted my smug reply a while ago which made me scrunch my nose whilst leaving a playful pout, screaming the words ‘unfair’. “Cute” he mumbled lowly after seeing my face and it did made me look away for him not to notice the blush. He did though, my ears were beet red so he beamed a smile that I was only able to see in my peripheral vision. I didn’t take a peek of his whole look but I know I couldn’t resist to THAT.

As if the timing was perfect, the waiter came in with our little drinks that he decided to pay. We had quarrel over the payment that went on for almost 5 minutes. The waiter watched awkwardly and ended up receiving his instead of mines. While drinking each of our drinks, he opened up the conversation first.

“It’s unusual for you to” I placed my cup after his abrupt statement and tilted my head, asking him to go on.

“to what?”

“Well you know...” contemplating about his thoughts, he tried to sip on my drink to which I swatted away his hand. I raised my eyebrow in a bubbly manner and told him to quit around playing. “you smiling, it’s rare to see so” he brushed his hand dramatically as if he felt immense pain and replied.

“You don’t even know me?” I chortled at my comeback, twisting his words right back at him. The atmosphere was still friendly but the mood? Suddenly shifted into something serious I surrendered myself in the control I was striving to put up.

“I do know you”

I know it was meant as a joke but I’d like to believe half of it was directly true. Those eyes that pierced right through me once again had some sense of familiarity and belongingness. It’s as if I fled away from reality because everything was turning their backs on me, but he felt like home. It’s as if everything turned monotone but he was my only hope. It’s as if I used to ignore everyone but something makes me cling unto him. It’s as if I knew him but at the same time, I don’t. Was my misery too loud that it reached the heavens and pushed me into insanity? Or was he indeed someone I met? The presence reached through me even when he’s just staring. If I was asked just by the feeling of his existence, I know him, a hundred percent with no doubts. But in general? His physique and he in a tux were something new that made me convince myself he was a total stranger. Still, the thought itself isn’t as easy to shrug as it seemed. I would recklessly gaze into those eyes forever without knowing why. 

“There you are again” Clicking my tongue, I began to bounce back to earth. I tapped my fingers to a fast and mischievous rhythm to make it seem I was angry. He laid on his back, pressing on the chair to be in a comfortable position which I found creepily attractive. “Those eyes!” I pointed my fingers at his deep gaze that turned into a startled expression. ‘He thinks I’m a joke’, I thought. It wasn’t enough to get me riled up on my nerves though because if I was in his position, who wouldn’t think I was lowkey a bad flirt?

“So what should I do to stop your gawking? Close my eyes?”

“Much better” Favorably, this man doesn’t seem as bad as I thought he would be. He knows how to take a joke and accepts every word I say, whether it may be surprisingly good or blatantly messed up. Maybe we did just meet at the wrong step of the time. 

{TUESDAY}

“So how did the date go?” I groaned just after hearing my thousandth time being dumped, probably. 

Lia had the courage to call me and talk about it.  I’m sure she was hoping my ’supposed to be date’ at least liked me, which was so opposite, and in no terms do I want to see him again. We were too relaxed with Lia so everything I say, even though I tend to be mean, she knew it was a flaw in my personality that couldn’t be fixed. In fact, she was kind of fascinated with how I looked so innocent and honorable but has a hidden persona of aggressiveness behind the public. 

“Bloody hell, may the paradise sue me for what I will do shortly. Some witch needs an update.” I breathily recited my ‘chant’ to which she laughed so loud it could burst my ears and wake up my neighbors. I wasn’t on speaker, what would happen if I did?

“such a virago, bae!” I could just imagine her fanning her hands behind the phone with a teasing smile, mixed with nervousness. I heard her boyfriend’s voice along with Tienne, her partner’s younger sister. She was my favorite one so I decided to force her in turning on the video call.

As soon as she did, the young cute girl’s face lit up on my screen and I almost yell out a squeal. Lia knew damn well I love Tienne which is why she’d let her kid handle it.

“I missed you!” The 7-year-old fake cried which caused me to forget about my bad day and chuckle. She was playing with her usual favorite t-rex and a barbie, saying how barbie made the dinosaurs extinct using her big dream house car that brought pollution. This was so random and I honestly don’t know where she got such ideas. The most disturbing one so far was how she stated that dora was such a pick me and who acted blind because it was quirky. Kids weren’t supposed to know that, right?

“I missed you too, baby Tintin!” She isn’t a baby and in fact hates it when people calls her young, except for me though. I’m her favorite because I’m always with her when her so called parents are trying to have a date. Not that I would complain, I enjoy being with this lass.

The boyfriend arrived with an Oreo in hand as he waved after seeing me.

“Hey, hey shortcake. Long time no see!” He was in his usual long brown coat paired with a white polo, rolled-up sleeves and brown loose pants. Taking off the glasses he wore, he approached Tienne and smiled through the screen.

“Looks like the giant is dressed-up. How big of an effect Lia had on you for you to bother wearing such ‘boyfriend’ material outfit?” I rolled my eyes and he laughed once again, remembering high school days where I used to force him to wear decent clothings that doesn’t make him look like a rebel.

He groaned while smiling, partially tired at the fact that he had repeated the words that’ll come out of his mouth over several months. “Big time. I really love that woman” His eyes showed sincerities despite the joke I just gave. This blue haired guy does seriously love her.

I bitterly smiled and my hands twitched a bit after seeing such view. Of course he was my long time best friend, he knows what I’m feeling. Not missing an opportunity, he looked back at the screen and raised an eyebrow. “Jealous, aren’t we?” 

At that very moment, I did want to punch him through the screen. “Well at least tell your friend to show up before rejecting a girl he hasn’t seen yet” The boy seemed so amused in response that tears were coming out due to his uncontrollable laughter. 

“I showed him a picture of you before the blind date” and oh, was that my final straw of the day. He didn’t want to miss the expression so despite the hard laughs, he tried to take a peek at my reaction.

I was as red as a tomato, boiling. “Frick you! Rot in hell, you titan!” I slammed the table and hissed a bit due to the pain felt but I pouted to show how stressed I was.

“But you look pretty! Are you always going to believe on those ideas of yours?” The laughs were nothing closer to dying down. At that moment, he seemed as if he was close to bursting. “And you know what he said?” Placing his head atop his hand that was resting on his table, he asked me directly. Of course I knew the answer.

“Oh, she’s kinda not my type.” We sang in unison as if we shared the same braincell. The only difference was the aftertaste. He laughed harder, while my frown gets lower. 

“What a great day to ruin my date, boy. Got ‘ya self a lover and decided to ditch me whilst betrayin’ behind my back”. I slightly fell back on my seat comfortably and stared at the ceiling.

His laugh drowned after a few minutes and he spoke with a hint of seriousness “you look pretty smiling, I’ve always told you that shortcake.”

My eyes widened a bit with the sudden confession and looked through the screen, in which I saw no figure anymore. One of my eyebrow raised and my smile grew softer. He still do care about me. After all, I was like his little sister. The thought of it made me feel secured and contented.

Well not until I heard a few kisses through the call. “Oh dear gracious, not in front of a declined girl!”, I responded to which they could just let out a few laughs at my remark. And yes just like siblings, they are so fond of my misfortune.

“What took you so long, though?” I could tell that Lia waited for hours just to ask me a question she pondered on for so long. I knew what she meant but asked once again to ensure we got the same idea.

I hummed in question and saw her figure approaching the camera. “That rejected date of yours. What made you sit for several hours until late at night and arrive smiling?” Her man echoed the last words she had spoken like a broken record. He eyed me curiously and waited for me to speak up. Guess I have no choice when two of those orbs stare at me like hawks that are ever ready to bite when denied. I guess I can’t escape.

I tilted my head and accidentally leaked out my inner thoughts “Weird, I thought our talk only lasted for a few minutes” It was a moment before realization dawned unto me. They were as fast as how wind blows though, they caught unto it.

Lia clicked his tongue and smiled as the giant all-knowingly prolonged his words to make it seem like he got the idea. 

“It’s not what y’all think” I rolled my eyes and cleared the obvious suspicion their aura is channeling over to my house that is several miles away. 

“We didn’t say anything though”, Lia’s boy narrowed his eyes and looked at the mentioned girl who quickly agreed on his statement. “Unless, you thought of something”, he continued and emphasized the last word. A tiny glint of his eyes contrasted with his omniscient smirk that glowed on my screen.

I stared for a few seconds trying to find an excuse, but I was caught on the act. “Oh come on! Everybody thinks” I turned my back around and yielded in the tight battle.

“There ye go again, beatin’ ‘round the bush lady!” He sang as he and Lia both left the frame, leaving me and little Tienne alone.

I shook my head in disapproval however my thoughts were fixated unto Lia’s comment. ‘I smiled while arriving’, my heart beat rose quickly for a second and blamed it on my anemia. But then again, if I may have had quite the fun yesterday, maybe mister wasn’t so bad after all.

Forgetting I was still on the line, baby Tienne responded, “Are you in love?”

Instead of denying the question quickly, I decided to ask her as to stir my interest. “And what made you think that way?” My voice slightly raised its pitch as I was talking and trying my best to make a 7 year old kid understand how love even works; despite me not knowing anything about that at all. 

“That look, my brother looks at Lia that way. Your smile” she grinned sheepishly, looking more adorable than she already is. I was distracted by her gleaming eyes until I processed what she had just said. 

Grabbing a mirror, the papers on my desk flew and some fell down but all I could see was my replica staring like a red ball, making me look like someone who blew a balloon really hard. “Oh gosh, I look like exploding” my arm covered the prominent red blush that spread all over my face. 

Tienne giggled and remarked: “you’re weird”

{WEDNESDAY}

I hated snows, much especially on first snows. Ask me for the reasons? Not a good idea. I could only reply with a ‘maybe I was rejected after a couple of supposedly romantic confessions during snow’ or a ‘maybe because I was still currently refused by a guy the moment the first snowflakes fell.’ I stared at the empty park and sighed much more heavily compared to the past.

I opened my note and jotted down a single word: snow. The lingering feeling of coldness touching my skin as I try my best to stay warm reminds me of my past days, trying to desperately breathe in a situation I can’t change. The heavy feeling that grows as light as how its flakes fall. Elegantly in slow motion, if I must describe. Yet it’s temperature is affecting me in a way it doesn’t intend to. Generally, me and snows are simply incompatible. Maybe fate doesn’t follow. 

I stepped back and felt my foot sink deeper into the pile of white cotton. It sucked my leg mesmerizingly but I got back on track as soon as I heard a sound behind me. I placed my guard up and spun around cautiously just to see a playful smile in front of my eyes. I flinched once in surprise, gasped in shocked, and blinked in disbelief. 

“Again?!” My brain was unable to process the flow of events as my fingers pointed to the same mister that was in my head for the past few days. 

“Ah, fate’s dirty works” his shoulders rose as he chuckled and stared at the enchanting view that sat in front of us. Grabbing his camera, he clicked on the button and took a look at his shot. Tilting it sideways, I could only hold on my scarf to avoid slipping into his eyes and focus on the thing he had shown me. After a little peek of a masterpiece, I smiled before replying.

“Again with you and your photographs.”

“I love my shots, this way I could never forget about how such beauty gleams on moonlight or even the sunshine rays. I’m a bit picky, so I believe everything that is stored here is a work of art” He thought deeply and held his camera tighter with deep passion, as if embracing it to heart.

“So each shot you take also depends on your preference?” He handed me the camera and for the first time in the day, we made eye contact. I quickly diverted my gaze on the pictures and swipe through them as he explained.

“I only remember those I love,” past I scrolled on a girl looking more likely to be in her mid 30s. Same smile he wore and same eyes they glowed, I could presumably say it’s her sister with no doubt. “Those I admire,” the next that came in the talk was a bunch of his idols. Some I knew, some I don’t. “And those I’m most interested in” ‘Hobbies’, my inner tone speaking out appeared excited than expected. 

And yet, I was met with a picture of a girl on a white loose dress under the shimmering night sky. Her expression wincing - could also be taken as squinting - I wasn’t too sure what prompted her to have so. May it be the sudden fright she must have had felt, the new feeling rushing down her veins, or simply the strong light of the camera that could’ve blinded her eyes. She was a reflection of me, simply me, during the day we first met. Under the streetlight, the moment he and I closed our distance and stared at the other. The only moment I was able to get sidetracked away from my depressive and monotone months. Maybe there was light, not from the camera nor the streetlight, but from him.

My head unconsciously tilted upwards as to clear what he was trying to say.

“Y/n, I want to know more about you.”

Those few minutes staring unto his eyes, were sucking me like hours. Absorbed and indulged, this scene was deeply imprinted on my mind when I don’t want it to. ‘You can’t be interested in people you had just met, much especially when you know it’s more than curiosity’, this rained on Korea within my mind’s void. Though repeated like a desperate prayer, my mind forgets to remind me that he was bad idea. One word of his, I pause. One step of his, my world stops. One look of his, it continues spinning once again, but now with the thought of progressing the years along with him. Just like how my mind swiftly swings, I feel the sense of slow motion every time he comes but fast forwarded whenever I think about myself, both of us. Fast forward, wherein I’d be holding his hand. Fast forward in time wherein he’d caress me with affection along with those deep brown eyes. 

Fidgeting my fingers, I loosened one arm and placed it on my side near him. His eyes trailed unto my now lowered head that still continued staring on the pictures. I gulped and hesitated as I slowly gave him back the camera while avoiding eye contact. “I hate snow”, a mumble was all I could utter. Hoping I was hidden on the red scarf, my mind was lost in thoughts once again.

Winter, I always feel something around this time of the year. For no reason, a forlorn’s heart is wretched deep in the grave. In ordinarily suffocating, a burdened body carrying her soul. Inexplicably hopeless,  determined - if I must sugarcoat the word - to the point that I am so good at making things out of nothing. 

Instead of bewilderment passing through his eyes, he looked up and agreed. “Yeah”, breathily he spoke. He knew what was going on my mind once again. Was I enchanted in seeing him or was I enchanted just because he was like a reflection I didn’t need to open up to for him to understand?

Nonetheless, I could feel him softly smiling beside me as he took notice of my hand creeping up on his jacket, holding unto it discreetly. He knew I still wanted him to stay, despite the contrasting effect I placed on my words and the actions of pushing him away. 

A few minutes then, he stood and I opened my eyes to face him. Slight surprise was evident in my face, much more after he held out his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Where to?” I stuttered along my words. With the same smile, he declared his statement like a promise;

“Let’s go make snowy days your favorite time of the year.”

“Hey,” he spoke casually but prolonged his words just enough to make me wonder why he had that tone as he spoke. Looking almost immediately, he replied and looked into my eyes with a contemplating face, “do you believe in love at first sight?”

My eyes slightly widened and he smiled as he noticed the surprised look on my face. After all, I thought my insanity was way too one sided. “So you felt it”, My lips turned downward as my eyebrows went upward, showing an expression of shrugging the thought away, despite internally taking it to heart. 

He slowed down the car on a red light and adjusted himself on his seat. “Well, not exactly.” He spoke in a sing-song tone before continuing as to not leave me hanging on his thoughts. “Mine was love at first sight, yours is the idea of soulmates”

I cracked a laugh absentmindedly as he tried to remember which part of his statement deserved a slight mockery. “I did feel like I know you, but never did the thought of being connected to one another, or at least whatever anyone calls that, came into my mind” I looked away from his deep eyes staring into me and signaled him to start the car as the streetlight showed the color green. A part of me was also hoping it would act as a diversion to stop the unnecessary talk.

Being the bubble gum he was, he was a traditional man who took ‘get to know a woman first’ way too literally, maybe even too much. “So you don’t believe in that concept?” He thought to himself, but curiosity made him want a response from me. I could object to his actions quickly, but his assumptions were right. 

“Correction mister, it does not exist.”, I confidently spoke

“And what in the world made you dreadfully oppose to this view?”, he retorted

Another assumption, but he was right and I couldn’t bring myself to talk back again. I pointed my finger at the switches and complicated buttons I’ve seen on his side, to express that I wanted to lower the window. He simply pressed on the mentioned, particularly to my liking. Weird, I thought he’d only lower it a little. 

I leaned my head outside and closed my eyes to take a moment before finally responding after a sigh. “People come and go. None are perfectly suited for each other, if that’s how its definition goes.”

He tilted his head, not in agreement but also not against my thoughts. Therefore, I took it as a moment to continue my explanation. “A soulmate is simply a word people perceive just for reassurance. If one’s single, then his or her so called soulmate will appear soon in the perfect time. That’s what they all say, but it simply is thought just to avoid the fear of being alone, disappointment and other negative aspects that they think could possibly affect their quality of life. But if they’re taken then broke up, just like how typical couples are fated to die down, they’d also call the same plea for self-encouragement that a perfect man would miraculously appear in their life like some hero in a romance drama.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disapproval as I continued speaking in disgust, “it’s sick.”

I could feel him staring straight at me so I did as well to see what he could reply after my utterance. His expression agape, leaving him speechless when I knew he initially had a speech prepared. The sudden silence made me tense up quicker than I thought, so I cleared my throat to bring him back to earth. “What?” I cursed myself mentally for breaking the eye contact first, but thank the heavens it saved my life. “Mister!”

My voice successfully knocked some sense out of him as his eyes trailed to where my eyes were directed at. His expression turned into something beyond panic and surprise, as he quickly pulled the brakes at a red light.

Our bodies bounced back like fishes off sea and I could feel my heartbeat racing faster than when I had first met him. This is when I knew it was a really strong feeling. “Are you planning to kill me?!” I exasperatedly threw my hands in the air.

He could only chuckle after a moment of calming the adrenaline rush we’ve felt and finally eased up before explaining himself, which was very unnecessary given the situation we’re in.

“Gosh, you are breathtaking” he bit his tongue as he grinned playfully. He’s really joking at a time like this? Now, I was the one who had my jaw dropped, not because of confusion but due to incredulity. Blinking twice to see if he wanted to retract his words, it was of no use. “It made me almost ran the red.” 

“No, but really, that rap performance you gave a while ago seemed too personal.”, he thought and rapidly changed the topic.

“If personal, why pry?” I spoke in a deadpan tone because even if my heart rate had calmed down, my brain wasn’t able to process what had happened if I had not looked down the road. “Besides, there is no such thing as soulmates. It’s just a bunch of coincidences to keep the hopes of people up. They are blatantly yet stupidly and unknowingly lying to themselves.”

“Well, I beg to disagree, young missy.” His arms leaned unto the wheel and he slightly intertwined his fingers to properly refute my baseless explanations. “Soulmates are real, just like you and I.” His ego rose as I groaned in annoyance. I actually adjusted myself to hear his opinion, just to take a false assumption from him. He chuckled and nudged me as a sign that he’ll finally be proper for once. Well, thankfully he did. 

“All jokes aside, there are people that are meant to be for each other. No matter how life brings them down, fate would still tie them together with no escape.”

“See how the world toys with people?”, I bitterly questioned.

“Yes, but I find that very interesting when it comes to the idea of soulmates. The way it makes people feel like the person they’d end up with is the only right one after all the wrongs they’ve seen before. That’s what makes it special. There’s no “toying” present; it’s simply fate.”, he spoke lightly as if whispering while showing his eye-smile.

“That’s too dramatic and vague by the way”, I casually critiqued

“Vague.” He looked up for a while after echoing my words and thought, “maybe it’s because second chances are part of my beliefs. With no factual explanations based on science, It seemed like it’s one with me.”

“Directly, you’re trying to say you just believe in it. That’s it.” I tried to help him get out with this ‘beating around the bush’ behavior I dislike.

“Maybe or maybe not.”, I rolled my eyes again in response. “The world is more than what we see. And in this world, we may have not known that there are people destined to be with others and encountered them in their past lives. Maybe some kind of resurrection built by deep affection, if I must say. A second chance brought by fate, a second chance that was persuaded to arrive because of how intense the relationship or bond is. I believe in those. With equal yearning felt by each other, nothing is impossible, y’know?”

He looked very lost in his words and I didn’t know when to interrupt. As if by ‘fate’, he finally paused for a moment to look at me. Except, I didn’t know what to respond to his sayings. Both of our ideas aren’t even scientifically proven or factual, they are just metaphorical statements that aren’t needed to be spoken because none of these could change anything at all. People couldn’t see and hear, nor would the heavens comply with our contrasting requests. Yet, the desperate aggression we know we’ve felt despite our calming and frisky voices, was quite personal. Why were we so eager to insist our perspectives? His eye smile almost made me forget how quickly he’d react whenever I spoke my side and how his eyebrows would furrow in seemingly disappointment because I don’t get his.

Confrontation wasn’t my side though, so I played along with his ‘dodging’ game. “The concepts of soulmates doesn’t only revolve in second chances though, that example was oddly specific”, I chuckled to not appear crystal clear.

Instead of a quick response or interruption like he’d usually do, he instead paused again before letting out a hesitant titter. My eyes scanned through his face and saw him gulped, which unconsciously made me feel awkward as well because of how uncomfortable he seemed in a second. “I mean- A situation, I guess. Just to expand and make it a whole lot clearer. Yeah.” The volume of his voice gradually decreased as I echoed his last word. Now, it was my time to clear my throat. 

Acting as if I was admiring the scenery during the car ride, he halted after a few minutes. We ended up on a little street and I was caught off guard when he opened my side of the car door. It must’ve meant we already had reached our destination. Why is he taking me here? Still, there’s something that always keeps me hanging unto him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one stricken by curiosity. 

He beckoned me to enter and I trailed behind his back. There, we entered a peaceful and little home with red dreamcatchers on the right side of the interior wall. What caught my eye though was the piled books in the shelves with a man’s name on it, in which I assumed belonged to his. I never knew he was the type to easily get immersed with books; talk about a perfect guy. Unfortunate was I to say that even if he had courted me, we were characters predestined on an asymmetrical time flow. 

As soon as I entered the house, I could still feel the cold air from outside. It was as if it had been long since someone visited here because the air warmers seemed broken. Don’t get me wrong though, the surroundings was clean - way too clean for my liking, way too clean to be true. This flawless orderliness would only be possible if one had come here to sweep every minute as there is an absence of even a speck of dust. But then again, it was cold.

 I approached the stair rail beside me and hung my red scarf before proceeding to the living room. “Coffee or tea?” The mister asked while facing towards the kitchen. 

“Do you have juice?” Both of my eyebrows rose and my mind hesitated whether that was an appropriate thing to ask. Hoping it did not make me look demanding, I waited for his reply.

“Sure”, he timidly spoke and gave me a smile once again. However, I noticed his shilly-shally to leave me out of his sight.

 “I’m fine”, I chuckled as he also replied with one. I was mistaken though, as he still seemed to ask me something on his mind but decided to bite his tongue for it may look weird. Delaying his steps, his words trailed slowly as the volume gradually decreased. “Where..?”

“Maybe in the upper cabinet beside the refrigerator”, I tittered at the thought of him not knowing where the powdered juice in his home is. 

A hint of surprise following mines gave me reassurance that I was right. I decided to scroll my eyes along the album that was almost unnoticeably placed under the table with only a page hanging off in the corner of my sight. It was normally something others would undoubtedly ignore but everything about him struck my curiosity; even if it’s merely something related to him. Without hesitation, I took a closer look at it and unintentionally had it up in my lap as I scanned the pictures. 

There, a little kid around 4 or 6 years old is sitting in a twin-sized bed along with a beautiful lady who had her arm wrapped around his son’s shoulder. The ring on my hand touched the picture’s texture as I brought out the photo from the memory book to determine the uncanny sight. In one look, it resembled a family in the mid 1990s that would make one sense jealousy in themselves because this published a dream almost none could reach. Happy and rich, full of excitement. However, blink and take a second look, one could notice the indifference present in the face of the little boy. The charisma the mother exhibited overpowered the kid to paint a happy picture that would please everyone’s eyes. But the latter’s smile was way crooked, showing uneven proportions that should’ve been aligned with his eye. The brown orbs that looked ever beautiful was isolated from the look he wanted others to perceive. It was metaphorically flat and literally dull. Though if the smile was only looked solely, it seemed as if he was in a manic state. 

My head started to lean near the picture slowly to view the sight that gradually became horrid. The traumatizing scene could easily influence such an apparently unfaltering mood. If invisible blood from the ones you were forced to kill spilled out from those guilty, innocent, and pitiful eyes, appeared as a picture; no doubt it would be this.

“That’s me when I was 6, year 2006 along with mom”, Mister came back with two containers in hand, one’s a teacup, the other’s a tall cup. Hesitation was evident in his last word but I flinched almost too obviously that I knew I was guilty yet persuaded myself that invading a family treasure would be fine without asking for a proper permission because I’m scared of receiving a single ‘no’. I sighed mentally at my idea of being nosy when it comes to other people’s business. Might be a red flag, but what can I do when my life’s too boring for me to get invested at?

However, I couldn’t quite decipher what truly disturbed me in hearing his response; whether it was his thoughts of me suddenly opening a personal object, this guy was the same kid who used to have an awful smile and had glasses on his twin-sized bed, him looking quite uncomfortable talking about his mother, the fact that the pictures were old yet they only had bought a shiny new album recently, the set up was very much around the nineties yet he was born in 2000, or the idea that I had so many ideas when it comes to him because I unusually, and very much weirdly, am so concerned about his life and perceptions about him. Nope, definitely (hopefully) not the last one.

My eyes awkwardly blinked twice and I could feel my cheeks heating up with a slight tint of pink. Clearing my throat before anything could get worse, I chose to give a remark regarding the second to the last question. “Vintage. Your family’s on the traditional side?”

“You could say that”, he spoke while slowly dragging himself near me with a sharp breath. I unconsciously stiffened up for a moment, glad he didn’t noticed it this time. His finger moved through the album and pointed at the little kid with glasses. Following a chuckle, he added “biggest plot twist in my life”

I looked away at the book for a moment to think before I responded with a dramatic gasp, “I feel like I’m looking at two different people”

His eyes met with mine and he laughed so heavenly while clapping his hands. It slowly died down and he shrugged along my disbelief. “I can’t believe that’s me either. Maybe it’s the ‘mom’s effect”

“Mom’s effect?”

He hummed and replied, “the trauma maker”

I bitterly giggled as I could relate to him this time. “Then it’s the dad effect for me” Looking towards him to show I’m ready to listen, I nudged him slightly. “You start, I finish”

“Ah, but the finishing touch is the highlight!”

“Then I appreciate getting the spotlight, mister” I slyly stated while narrowing my eyes, to which he responded with eyes rolled.

“Hwang Hyunjin” 

“Ohh,” I teasingly reacted while showing my empty ring finger “You haven’t told me your story yet and now we’re on a name basis?”

“Yes, a name basis. Not on a first name basis” he slowly pronounced each word to highlight the bitter truth, along while pointing his finger straight at me. He then held my hand and it caused my eyes to slowly land on them just to see him place it back on my side. I couldn’t utter a word or maybe I simply chose to refuse. My jaw was left dropped as he shook his head with playful disappointment before turning his back at me. Talk about having a full army attack you, unarmored.

“You?!” My British accent showed up on the worst timing possible. Though I could say it added a more comedic touch in my skit. I guess living in London for a few years just to avoid a father’s tantrum isn’t so bad after all. “You, of all people, chose to ignore me? Nobody could resist this beauty, I daresay” I stopped after a few tracks after his sudden turn. His face were a few inches away and I was startled for quite a bit. Still, it doesn’t mean that the zoom in wasn’t humorous. He’s still a fine man though, he didn’t waste much of his cool points. 

“Unfortunately darling, I was called a nobody in my family. Does that count?” He questioned to add a risible scene in my play. Oh, he is a whimsical man for sure. It bewilders my mind pretty bit to think that there are people out there that isn’t entertained by him. Either it’s my broken sense of humor or theirs, he’s got something that makes a person very intrigued.

He turned his back once again so I grabbed his hand and now it was I who made him surprised. “You still can’t get away with this.” My smile glimmered but my eyes remained determined “tell me your story,” I whispered.

His smile dropped for a moment but he sat first on the sofa. Patting it twice, I followed him soon after. “I wasn’t this type of person initially”, he spoke to break the silence.

“On the picture or the one I’m facing right now?” My body slightly leaned right to look towards him as I laced both of my hands and placing them atop my lap.

“Which do you prefer?” The tone was so like — well, him but the question may appear serious if taken on a different note. Who’s to say I can’t like both?

“Can I assume you meant you weren’t the type to open up to people?” A smirk was plastered on my face but it can’t stop there. I gave him a teeny wink, which I knew he’d notice immediately given he’s attracted to details. I hope ‘attracted’ was the accurate word, not obsessed. It makes me shudder to think he was made the latter, if ever, because of his own family. 

“Unbelievable, miss. Just-“ he chuckled before continuing “You’re unbelievable” It can be taken in only two perspectives. The first one would be a rude tone and the second could be taken as a compliment. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, but he was mysterious as well. No matter what kind of emotions he’d express, I don’t think anyone ever had the chance to pass through his walls of mind.

“What can I say? According to my father, I am a simpleton. And I agree. I look at things very simple and even when it comes to people! Everyone either likes me or hates me, no in between. And as for our case,” I pointed at him and myself before rapidly switching sides of my finger to show the unity and placed it back on my lap. “I think we’re far enough from hatred”, I simpered.

“You need to stop making yourself special” he sipped from his cup after lifting it up for cheers.

“I am special” I responded to his greetings.

“I dreadfully wish I could deny that” He clicked his tongue after his reply. He muttered the words to himself, I assume, because of its volume. Yet I also do believe it was meant to reach me given the silence afterwards as if he was waiting for me.

“What’s stopping you?” I gave out a short chuckle, somewhat similar to his which made me slightly alarmed. Truly, I am not fond of him, am I?

“The fact that you are”

A swish of the wind passed by as I stopped for a moment, “Oh, a smooth talker you are. I despise you.”

“Well then, here ya go.” He waved his hands towards me, hinting that he got through me for a split second. “You got a past!” He gasped dramatically.

“If you think you can get away from you explaining your past, then you’re wrong. Quit the delay, mister”

“Pressuring me just after you know my name? How fierce. I like that in a girl.” I simply rolled my eyes and let out a groan before he showed a teeny smile and continued.

The car ride took another few 30 minutes going home but I felt like we’ve been going on a loop for several hours. The ride home was eerily silent, a clear contrast compared to the way to his place. And it’s not sadness I’m feeling right now, but pity and confusion. He discussed his past using his mother’s perspective and words, which made him insecure and stopped me from asking how he felt. His mother was in control of him after all; his eyes, his mouth, and his skin acted as if they were reflections of his mother’s view of an epitome of an obedient son.

He warned me that I’d view him differently if I heard his story, that I’d be disgusted and disappointed of how he had the right to live and laugh after he used to be at an awful state with his mother, thinking he never deserved to do so. 

I got off the car after the slight hesitation and bit my lip before I bid goodbye. I felt a slight tinge of pain because I thought his eyes would peer through mine, trying to tone it with an ‘I told you so.’ Except, I never got to meet his eyes at the end of the day, leaving me frozen still as he left without uttering a word.

I sighed and went straight to bed soon after while rethinking everything that had just happened. I never felt disgusted, not one thought of leaving him had run across my mind. In fact, maybe a part of me wanted him to love his self and see the beauty I’m seeing as I wish to view those eyes for eternity. It was until the moment that I have concluded the night; Uh oh, I’m falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

{THURSDAY)

I woke up in a messy state. I could hear faint ringing coming from my ears as my head start to hurt a bit. I didn’t know where this slight pain came from but I presumed the reason was because I couldn’t sleep well yesterday. There were mainly two reasons and a suspect. For one, I couldn’t sleep as I thought I had concluded yesterday that I love a guy I recently met. Second, I couldn’t sleep because I debated that these feelings weren’t real and I was simply getting distracted from the darkness that swooped me days ago. I am a smart woman and I know for sure the most stupid thing a person can do is romantically trusting a guy. But all these reasons only have one suspect, and out of all, it had to be Hwang Hyunjin. And oh, how it torments my mind upon realizing I can’t place the words ‘just’ and him on the same sentence. I can’t belittle him at all; he has that face, humor, smile, words, and understanding for me that can’t put me at ease. He makes me so giddy but I feel comfortable in his presence. Really, what is he and what is it he’s making me feel?

As an instinct, I went out and reached for my phone before I was stopped at a sudden thought that he still was a stranger to me. I mentally cursed upon remembering I don’t even have his number yet. All I have is a name and his past that gives me no leads about his whereabouts. ‘Too much for true love, my ass.’ I sighed, rolled my eyes, and shook the negative feeling away. It was nothing, I was sad and heartbroken. It could be thought of as a one-night-stand without all the sexual contact. It’s temporary, just how love should be. Non-draining, non-distracting, and unattached. It’s a way to actually protect one’s heart than laying it out in full vulnerability.

I stood on my feet and took a shower. Just like an innocent party night out, I hoped to clear my mind alone in a cafè as I have not too many friends to go together with.

If I were to earn a dollar for every sigh that escapes my lips, I’d become a millionaire overnight. I gave myself a mental facepalm as I stood in front of the same cafe I once met Hyunjin. It was not to clear my mind but rather to fill my mind with him again. I was teeny hoping he’d be here, assuming it’s his usual spot. But my trail of thought and clear flowery daydreaming was interrupted as I’ve seen frightened eyes shot at me. The staffs inside stared at me in terror and some of the customers oddly peered as if asking for proper verification from the others that they’ve seen right. With gaping mouths and frozen eyes, one of them brazenly marched forward to me. It was an eerie sight that I couldn’t bear to overcome, even when I had the feeling I was overthinking the situations again. I could feel myself shaking that I had to quickly turn around. 

Much to my thanks, someone grabbed ahold of me and took me to a quiet alley with not much of people but had breathtaking scenes. I was about to scream until I saw a familiar face holding his finger up as an act to shush me up. My hands were still practically shaking at the sudden anxiety that stroked me in day and my thoughts raced back and forth until my mind couldn’t keep up with it anymore. The edges of my eyes used to appear soft like the ground’s surface softening in rain until the tears were now brimming my eyes. Gladly, it can be seen as some sort of a splash; strong and speedy. But again, Hyunjin was able to notice such and tried to calm me down. He was almost embracing me with his palms resting atop the knuckles of my closed hands. He didn’t say a word except slow hush sounds as his thumb ran circles that eased my shakiness. I wasn’t even completely enveloped in his arms but it felt so warm because the soft tone of his humming reached through me that it almost felt like he whispered sweet nothings. My eyes were closed shut so I couldn’t see, could barely hear, and yet his presence, merely his presence, was enough to calm me down.

“Hyunjin…” I weakly spoke out and he reassuringly replied,

“I’m here.”

It took me a several minutes before I was able to calm down and when I did, I was aware of his presence. My breath hitched and I started to fix my dress; a hint of awkwardness present within the air.

“So… Were you just about to enter the cafè?” I cleared my throat and asked. It seemed like a casual question but I looked up to him in little hopes before giving a follow-up in a low volume almost he couldn’t hear. “Or did you have other plans?”

Hyunjin was an attentive guy, and I thought he was much more thoughtful on the details that involved me. But he shrugged off the last part because it seemed out of the place without context.  “Yes, it’s my go-to place,” he tried to lighten up the mood when he showed his prince-like smile everyone would swoon over.

My cheeks were heated up with his response. Of course! After all, I did want to enter this cafè because I thought I’d see him. It’s totally understandable it would be left one-sided. I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I thought he was interested in seeing me too. What was wrong with me?

In panic, I hurriedly spoke and gradually stepped back until I wanted him out of my sight “Right, right! I’m so so sorry I interrupted your day. I wanted to enter the cafè too, I mean just because the food taste good and I love the ambience. It’s such a nice place, isn’t it? Totally, I mean, that is solely why you wanted to go here in the first place.. right? Of course, glad our tastes match! I’m really sorry, now you could go on and continue your day because I will now take my leave-“

“And I also wanted to see you”

Oh.

He added and held my wrist with a slightly shocked expression as well that I had to leave immediately. The stiffness of my body then started to soften up as well before I breathed out another sigh and feebly agreed, “I did too.” A few seconds is what it takes to look into each other’s eyes and realize that we’re thinking the same thing. However, he caught me off-guard today. “Come with me, y/n.” Honestly, I hesitated. Does it feel right to entrust myself in the arms of this guy? Does he feel right? Rationality would reject his offer, but my eyes landed on his. It’s those eyes again. It’s what reminds me of how much great of a guy he’s been and how I could imagine myself in his company. Now the question shifts and all I could ask is “How could I say no to that?”

{FRIDAY}

Yesterday was great, too great for my liking. It made me forget how it went very well, made me ignore the fact that the universe punishes beings at the end of the day. I remembered eating strawberry ice creams, a spoon for two. We went watching sunsets in the dock after experiencing a short cruise at night. The last thing I could recall was plopping flat on the sheets as I stared at his wide smile that I realized made his eyes tiny. Such a warming eye-smile. That upwards curve shaped by his pink-tinted lips was the first feature in the moment wherein I looked at anything first before his brown eyes. That’s when I knew he was more than just first impressions. There were greater adventures with him than subtly looking in those eyes. And just as I was about to decide to know him better, he left with no word. I woke up, all alone.

The ringing of the phone brought me back to my senses. I answered the call and I heard Lia on the end of the phone, “I honestly don’t know other ways to tell you the truth y/n, he’s not answering, he will never answer because whoever this is you’re telling me to call, the number is not available. It’s gone, y/n. It’s gone.” My hands tapped furiously at the phone for a short while before I hastily replied and dropped the phone call “It’s not right. Something’s wrong, y-you’re calling the wrong phone number and I know I can’t reach him too on my cell but we were just sleeping together last night.”

Another ring came up but I decided to ignore it. I quickly showered that I did not even remembered if I washed my hair. All I know was that I changed into the clothes I found first on the cabinet and made sure to bring my phone. I strolled through the same streets and places we went while finally calling back Lia. 13 missed calls. My hands gripped tighter on the phone and prayed it was good news. 

“Sleeping together? What just- how did-?” I interrupted her and spoke, “We were so tired after grabbing strawberry ice creams, strolling on the docks, going on a short cruise, that we went to sleep and I could barely remember anything afterwards.” I raised my voice in panic, almost-sounding like I panted. I sighed. And it was silence after silence to recollect my thoughts. In a low volume, I asked “You don’t think something bad happened to him, right?” Lia clicked her tongue in frustration and groaned, “And you are worried about that?! Hell y/n, for all we know, this guy could have left you! He played you, y/n. Why are we being so naive?” 

“He did not, Lia” I emphasized, “You don’t even know this guy”

“And you don’t too! You met him a few days and now you’re head over heels for him. I am not terrified of what’s happening to him, I am scared of you. What is all this about? Aside from the fear of you getting hurt, you are acting almost obsessive with a man you barely met. Get your senses back, this is not you”

“What do you know?” I mumbled and it was enough to make Lia stop rambling. There was more to it than just a question, and she knows.

Her boyfriend sighed and asked a question that somehow ignited a larger fire than before, contrary to his intentions. “We don’t even have cruises that last as short as one night. Hell, is there even one that runs faster than less than a day?”

It was silent again. I could hear Lia pause but it had a different vibe today. I knew, she thought, and he did too. But none of them were right, I met him. I know I did. “This is ridiculous” I scoff, “Are you saying I’m lying?”

“No, we could never! We trust you.. but with everything going on in your life, you know.. You might have not took it well” Lia’s boyfriend carefully chose his words.

However, I insisted. “Or implying I’m hallucinating” And again, it was silent. I shook my head and continued “I don’t know what to say. This is crazy, I can’t. This is just-“ “and this, all of what’s happening, is crazy!” Lia spoke before she was shushed out by her boyfriend again but I dropped the call. 

Why do they always think ahead of me? Back when I independently chose my course, they’d hesitate. When I say I finally found something good for me, they’d doubt. When I feel hurt over comments of other people, they’d laugh. And now they think I’m insane. Well, they might be right; I feel insane because I don’t know what to believe anymore. This guy, one who truly understood me, is nowhere to be found and he could be playing me like what Lia mentioned. I am scared, not because of what could have happened to him but what would happen to me. I am selfish. I feel alone. I’m standing alone. It’s scary.  

I ran back to his place and rang the bell. I could feel sweat trickling down my hands and I feel cold. He would be here, wouldn’t he? Almost a minute later, the door opened. And it was to my delight until I saw an unfamiliar face. The girl looked a few years older than him that it made me sigh. I never knew he was into women older than him. Guess I didn’t know him after all.

She smiled sheepishly along with her pretty features. “Hi, I’m Sana. Sorry I don’t know how these introduction things work. But I just moved here, I doubt a neighbor would immediately want to say hello. Would you?” She extended her arm. I misunderstood her and never was I happy in my life that I was wrong. 

“Oh no, I’m finding a guy in this area. He was in this place.” “Ah! I do remember this was used by a man.” Her voice echoed throughout the hall as she seemed to grab something by the end of the table “The landlady insisted this might belong to its owner. I don’t really mind, but seeing you’re finding him, you might be a good choice.”

The door closed and I held the old phone she handed over. There was still dust on the edges of the screen that I assumed it was used a really long time ago. I unlocked the phone but it had no lock at all. Was this intentionally left behind for me? Curiosity wrapped me up as soon a recording was shown on the screen. I couldn’t wait to hear it so as soon as I rode the bus, I took out my earphones and tapped on the play button.

It was odd. He talked almost as if he was telling a children’s story because according to him, it went by like a fantasy. In a first person point of view, he started the tale with a man and a woman, in their teen years. The man was an aspiring dancer, filled with his passion for music. But there were obstacles — pressure, doubts, and insecurities. That’s how he ended up on the dock overlooking the shore and sunsets, the same place wherein he was saved from his thoughts of disappearing into thin air by a woman. He was an observant guy and knew from one glance that she was considered average. She wore outfits that looked like they were taken hurriedly for the sake of sale day and a stylish bag, so out of the whole aesthetic that it seemed like it was only given to her as a gift. But it was different at this moment. After one long pause and a closer stare, she looked the prettiest in his eyes. One thing that ironically brightened his day was indulging in her downward eyes which emitted great concern. He could only, after everything, smile. The girl visited him continuously but only at sunsets due to both of their busy schedules. It so happened that she stood in the dock also because she needed a breather, unknowingly saving a life as well. The girl approached him and days turned into a whole week of them getting to have fun together. They were each other’s rest and they lived every minute of being together. They knew nothing of their relationship, whether it was intimate or platonic, but they enjoyed the days. However, the days were numbered. The girl saw him no more.

“Maybe I needed you too. I just needed seven more hours to speak with you.” The words from the audio strayed further away from the storyline, leaving me confused. “The day you weren’t able to come back because you were busy, I stood still like the waves coming back to the shore. It’s this ache I feel after I had realized that I can’t escape; I will always go back to the same place. You touched my life, and I am not selfish enough to tell you that you haven’t changed it quite yet because you had done more than I could ever do. You kept trying and trying. I was losing hope, I’m sorry. By the time you have received this message, I’m probably not with you today, though I at least hope it wouldn’t take years for this to reach you.” I could hear his bittersweet chuckle at the end, “I just wanted to express how grateful I am to spend my remaining time with you. I wish to live at least just seven days with you to make up for my absence, is it a difficult request?”

No, this is not just a fictional story anymore. My thoughts were interrupted by the ring of my phone and I subconsciously answered it and placed it on my ear as if by instinct, completely spacing out. “Hey.” Hwang Hyunjin. That voice, the same one that showed me both this heart-wrenching delusions and reality. I could feel him through the phone. I could imagine his eyes, and for the first time in 5 days of meeting him, I could vividly remember his nose, lips, and the little mole under his left eye. “I didn't expect the recording to reach you several years after."

"Find me in the usual spot, yeah?”

I looked up and realized it was closer to dark that the driver had even slept on my destination. I must have been spacing out for several hours by now. I remembered it, plain as day. And if I’m not mistaken, we only have seven hours left before he leaves me. I couldn’t waste more time trying to count the hours left so I immediately went down and crossed the dock. I spotted his figure from afar; tall, blonde guy. He turned back and our eyes met. Now I could recognize him better as I ran closer to him.

How could I had ever forgotten about him? He was my first love, the reason why I feel so alone after all these years, why I felt so empty in Yuna’s wedding, why I could feel such strong connection between us. This must be why he was in a tux the moment I met him, as it was the last image of him I've remembered in his coffin. All this time, Hwang Hyunjin, the story was about us. 

“Are you real?” I sniffed and until then, tears started streaming down my face. I can’t breathe. I feel choked by my own tears and I can sense my heart breaking. My body started feeling so sore because of this immense pain in my heart and I wonder if he’s being so oblivious about it as this, everything, is just so mean. Can he hear my heart crashing?

He only responded with a smile, “I am if you want me to. Anything’s possible, isn’t it?” He reached for my hand and started caressing it gently. God, I could still feel him. So near, yet so far. It’s like he’s here, but isn’t. “Just like how you changed my mind that time.”

I threw my hand away from his hold and took a step back. “So this is why you've never met my friends today, why I was the only one who could see you, why I don't understand you fully, why those people in the café looked at me like I was crazy. Were you real after your death? How could you simply disappear, Hyunjin? Not only a moment ago but also in the past! That was so one-sided. You were breaking my heart. Was that your plan all along? During that sunset, did you mean to grab my attention with those eyes of yours, share your thoughts that changed my whole life, and leave me just to suffer all alone? We weren’t even in pain together, Hyun! I felt great with you and you told me you did find a friend in me. We felt so isolated, but wasn’t that…before us?” My eyes moved downward as I continued without letting him speak, “Or was that just me?” Chuckling in bitter as I spoke with poison, “Right, right. It could’ve just been me! You were suffering so bad and I didn’t even notice it. I may had fun, but it wasn’t enough to make you change your decision that one time I wasn’t around.” I stepped back as he tried to reach for me but I wouldn’t allow him to. He couldn’t even speak as I was madly lost in track with the ideas that filled in my head. “I was wrong. I was not enough. I should’ve been there-"

“Y/n!” He brought me back to reality with just one yell of my name. And I wondered, can he bring his self back too? “I hate that you think bad about yourself. That you had regrets during that moment as you kept blaming your decisions” He mumbled but loud enough for me to hear, “Maybe that’s the reason why I was given another opportunity to meet you. You changed me, y/n. I need you to understand that and respect my feelings.”

“Respect your feelings? Did you ever respect me as a person?” I stared at him, full of contempt and bitterness. He didn’t waste another second to respond but I had cut him off. “What kind of question is that, y/n? Of course, I do-“ I desperately wanted to move away from him that I took several steps back as he did forward.

“And you didn’t consider how I’d react?”

“I did, I had thought of it-“ “And you still went with it! I thought our friendship was strong enough that you’d understand how gravely I’d suffer if you were gone in just one moment. Hell, you left me for a lifetime!” “Can you please listen to me for one second before you might get yourself killed?! We walked back to the road and a car could be here any time we’d least expect!” He raised his voice higher to grab my attention that I had lost strength to fight back. Nothing made sense anymore. How could he put me in place as easy as he’d throw me away? “I can’t afford to lose you, y/n” His eyes softened and I could observe them; they were full of regrets. My heart ached once more and it wasn't because of him. I could sense my hopes getting up again.

[THE DOCK]

We were sitting, staring at the dimness in front of us. Silence. That was all I could hear almost an hour after we went back. It was enough to calm myself down, to be ready, before he’d start talking again. And he did. “You knew my struggles before as a trainee. Rather than solely dancing, I realize I’d be known greater as an idol. I was already suffering from their constant criticisms, endless practices, and trying to prove myself out there. Because it’s so different here in Korea. You can’t simply be skilled and succeed in the music industry. They take no mercy that it’s somehow not just music anymore. You have to appear perfect, have that appeal, be good-looking, and even know almost everything to please people and bring them to be your fans. Not only that, I had family issues too. It was messed up and I needed a different place. I didn’t know I actually needed a person, you, my safe place. It was as if all those worries disappeared and I found my reason to keep going on in that journey. In everyone’s eyes, I was a disappointment and a doubt but you never made me feel that way. You are important to me, y/n. And I’d climb a hundred mountains, reach for a thousand stars, and search for you within millions of people in this world, all for you. I’d make everything possible for you.” “Yet you couldn’t wait a day just for me?” Tears started falling once again but it was a first to see tears brimming from his eyes. I hesitated to add the question I’ve thought of all this time as I imagined his expression, his realization that I’m coming back to reality. “Hyunjin… why did you die? Why did you leave me, alone?”

After a sigh, he replied. “It was not simply one day for me. It was the only moment. I had realized in a short span of time that I can’t live without you. After those moments, I went back to my dorm and repeated the same routine. But I used to be happy because I thought of you every second of my life. I felt motivated in seeing someone who could finally understand me. However, every time they drag me down, give me a notice I may be up for elimination, criticize me, and say I’m not fit for dancing when it had been my reason for living, there was still this hole nobody can fill. And I may had gone through that pain, I may stand it when I’m with you but I was so lost. I wanted to restart my life because I was scared at the thought that I may not be happy with wanting to be an idol when I’ve wasted all my years for this. What am I going to do without it? Without you?”

“Was I not enough? Did I not make a greater effort of changing your perspective?”

“I arrived at the point that I had still thought of spending my days with my bestfriend when I finally become an idol. You’ve changed much more than just perspective, you changed me. But we both can’t change what cannot be changed. It’s life and I’ve given up on it. There’s nothing more you can do.”

He took ahold of my hand and we both stood as the sunrise is nearing. “But looking at you once more, now that I have this freedom, you really got a knack for changing lives. I used to be lost but I have a vision now. You brought me back. I realized that I still needed more time to be with you, I will always do. I do not want things to end, y/n. Thank you for the seven days, seven hours, and seven more minutes with you but I’d be too selfish as to always ask for one more second until I finish spending an eternity with you. Seven is not right for us, Eight may be our fate. But life encompasses everyone and I struggle to keep this goal running” He squeezed my hand, hard enough to make me realize he was trying to keep himself composed. Time is such an awful thing to be paired with life, I thought.

“I thought you said you’d make everything possible for me? For us?” He could only, after everything, smile. He reached for the strands of hair falling like the continuous tears running through my cheeks. He tucked them under my ear as he whispered “And I would.” 

I pushed him back a little as we were on the same wavelength, on the same page. “You’re not leaving me again, Hyunjin. You’re not. Not when I’ve spent my whole life thinking about you! Crushing myself over you and dreading this moment just to finally see you pushing me away again! I was there. Everyone moved on but I stayed in the same beach until dust collected in my pinned-up hair and you weren’t still there. On that- this same beach you had forgotten me because I wasn’t present the day you needed me.”

“I could never forget about you, I had never done that at all. I always needed one second to be close to you but that’s the problem, y/n. I used to be hurting every time I was with you, knowing I was meant to leave you in the end. I had no direction in life and I did not want to drag you further with me. You deserve to be in this world.”

Choked sobs are all that he could hear from me. No, I did not like to take another silence anymore. Why does it appear as if we’ve got nothing left to do, that all his decision must be him leaving me? I desperately grasped unto my shirt and crouched with all means to let out the pain my heart is feeling. The scream my heart is letting out that he can now hear.

“It hurts much more, Hyun. I was not living but I wasn’t dying too. Have you encountered it? Before leaving this sick world, did you carry all those regrets? Did you have troubles leaving this beach knowing you’re gone? Did you stop watching the television and your favorite series, basically your current only reason for living, just because I saw your face on the news? Did you lose your appetite? Did you have sleepless nights full of cries and when you were finally able to take a nap, you’d wake up with a wet pillow? Did you stop leaving the house and wasn’t strong enough to face your other friends? Did you feel very helpless to the point I wasn’t brave enough to meet your grave? Up to this time, I walk with nothing but pain in my heart. It hurts, Hyun. It hurts to think that the only thing that reminds me I’m still living is this sting in my heart and I hate that! I hate that I’m still living a life, the one thing that brought both of us down. I’m walking, driving, eating, strolling, and desperately trying to fix everything broken through time. One thing that brought both of us down, I’m still alive because of this sickening time!” “But I have no regrets, y/n.” He mumbled in a low volume and it finally struck me. There’s nothing more I can do, do I? Is this why he’s here? To make me understand that it wasn’t my fault? He’s so pure and good that it’s mean to me.

“How could you do this to me?”

He shushed me, brought my hands together, and embraced me as we both cried. “And I’m sorry. I apologize for everything I’ve made you feel but you won’t feel a single thing like that anymore. By the time we’d keep on living in different worlds, you have to let go of me.” “I’m scared, Hyunjin.” His hands touched my back as he held me closer and simply replied with a ‘don’t be’. “I could sense I’m slowly losing you. I’m slowly starting to forget how you touched me, how you made me feel, and your voice.” He replied no more and encouraged me to let all my feelings out… to forget later. I tried to move a little but he didn’t let me go. It was obvious he didn’t want me to have a last look at his eyes. It’s getting dangerous, Hyun. I’m starting to forget your gaze, those eyes that would then not be considered as ‘those’ but simply eyes I would not be able to recognize anymore. You’re starting to be like everyone, like strangers.

“Can I have one more word with you?” I could feel his soft hands stop and it was if I read his mind. He didn’t want any more promises, I know. “Did you really climb a hundred mountains, and reach for a thousand stars before you’ve searched for me?”

He paused for a moment and we both could hear ourselves chuckle. “You really are still the same, y/n. Hmm..” He stopped as if thinking, before continuing again, “I may had- have not. Okay, I did not.” I could sense his smile but couldn’t feel it anymore.

I tugged his shirt as we still embraced and gave a playful laugh through my tears. “You’re such a drama!” “But in the afterworld, I would. I’d do those for you before I’m forgetting you as well. We’d keep living in both worlds.” I sighed, but it was more of an emotional release. I wonder if he also started to forget how I feel.

“I hope the afterworld do you good, it’s what you deserve.” “And I’d pray to those angels to give you a life, not just worth living but full of happiness.” “That seems impossible” I playfully rolled my eyes and lightly hit him in the back.

“I’d make everything possible for you.” And I knew he’d let it happen. I was starting to calm down as I could see the sun rising. A new beginning. A restart.

“Can I say one last thing before we’d leave each other?” My voice almost cracked due to the sudden wash of emotions to which he replied with a sorrowed chuckle. I could feel myself crying again and my hands were shaking. My heart was clenching so bad and I didn’t know whether it was because of the fear of having a new life without him or because I’m losing him completely. “I liked you, Hyunjin. I really liked you.” It was more than just ache, I was wailing to let out the pain and everything else that kept my heart in a cage. I could sense his touch gradually getting away from me. I could sense him disappearing into thin air as my tears were heavy as falling down into the wooden platform in the dock. I desperately held on to myself instead of him, and crouched down as I felt myself losing all the strength. After everything, I still didn’t know whether he had heard my confession. But it was more than enough to get myself to admit it and let it all out. 

He was gone in seven seconds, but I’d need one more second to place him back in my heart again. I’d start anew not holding on to our memories but the lesson that I can find love like this. To be happy, just as he wished. He left me the second time but he was also right again, not in the sense of being together but living in separate ways. Seven was not right for us, Eight may be our fate.

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light (All Too Well — Taylor Swift) I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone (Enchanted — Taylor Swift)

[the-art-block]

Seeing your latest art of the nossies in the group new years picture reminded me of Wolf Mother (and her childe) as characters and now I'm DEEPLY interested in them as people and characters! I love their designs, just how much the curse affected them and am interested in how they fit into the Moonrise Nation story. (not that you have to reveal anything, of course!) Just admiring.

You're too sweet! YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🥺

These two have a lot of lore behind them (which I'm sure folks don't mind) so for the sake of brevity I'll try to keep it simple!

The Kindred population in the pre-colonial states was never that big, and it was kept in check by Kindred themselves - because the more of them that existed, the less food there'd be for the whole. These old laws regarding Kindred creation and conduct state that a Sire is responsible for their Childe for their whole unlife, and forbade any Kindred from having more than one living Childe at a time. Wolf Mother, original name lost to time, is a seven century old Nosferatu that was Embraced in the St. Lawrence River Valley for the crime of sabotaging the hunting grounds of another tribe in the locality.

Wolf Son, going by the name Jack Skinner modern-day, was Embraced 600 years ago by Wolf Mother for the crime of banditry. Probably like most Embraces, the relationship between them started out strained and unfriendly. Getting Embraced in the old tribe days was definitely a form of capital punishment and not something anyone really wanted. This of course is doubly true for an Embrace via Nosferatu, and the man that became Wolf Son took a long time to settle into his fate as a hideous living omen. When he did manage to overcome his grief and horror, he became a proper student to Wolf Mother and served alongside her in the assigned role of the Promiskeepers (The colloquial name for the Nos at the time) - which was to safeguard and dispense knowledge from both Kindred and Kine of generations gone. Things like: what to do when the seasons are uncharacteristically unfavorable, how to respond when a certain disease starts spreading, what to do with land that refuses to yield resources, etc. (Nos like Grandma Oginn also used to provide matchmaking services to her local tribes ;D) Additionally, in the old Kindred society, the Promisekeepers were tasked with keeping track of debts and contracts made between Kindred. The Nos of pre-colonial North America (at least on the East Coast) were basically your archivists and judges.

As the modern Moonrise Nation is attempting to reclaim some of the old traditions, both for Kindred and their human relations, Nosferatu who come into the faction are expected to take up this mantle of advisors and story keepers, to learn and preserve history, and be there to aid humans and other vamps alike when they're not sure what to do about a problem. Wolf Mother herself was a bit of an isolated Kindred back in her day, she roamed a huge tract of land and only encountered other undead and humans rarely. Still, she was widely known to be a neutral or friendly presence, and her child inherited the same nomadic lifestyle.

The pair would be separated when the first waves of Sabbat Kindred arrived on the continent on the crossings from Europe. They thought each other dead until very recently.

Wolf Son met with immigrant Camarilla Kindred in the 1700s and would later travel to Europe, where he would be installed as Sheriff over a Midlands Domain for several decades. Modern-day, he has come home to America, and is now serving as an Archon.

Wolf Mother spent most of the last few centuries in torpor near Lake Erie, and in the few years she's been awake again she's been singing into the night in hopes her long-lost Childe might still be around... Poor thing...

You can imagine the eventual reunion between them is gonna be super emotional. Not least of all because the Moonrise Nation is explicitly not joining the Camarilla, and seek to make themselves an independent faction.

I'm sure it's fine 🙃

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

Thinking about that post you reblogged about Dana not liking to write Belos, and while obviously I could be wrong, I think it could explain the worldbuilding inconsistencies. The people constantly questioning and disagreeing with Belos when it makes no sense for them to do so feels like the writers wanting to have their cake and eat it too - wanting people to do that because they themselves don’t like Belos. Again, could be wrong, but it does feel like that to me.

Belos has a very interesting trajectory from initial concept to the final product; originally he had a more shaman-like design and was a royal adviser to a bug family but they changed that to Puritan witch-hunter. How, when, and why they did that I do not know, but it shows that this character went through many redesigns and rewrites. I suspect that the constant revisions both to his character and consequently, to the world itself plays a role in this inconsistency but the show is also not shy about playing favorites which is also a factor.

I do agree that the show seems to want to have their cake and eat it too regarding Belos: he is the supreme dictator of the Boiling Isles, but during Eda's petrification ceremony, the crowd is easily persuaded to turn against him by two teenagers. Since Eda is not only a wild witch but a known criminal, then it stands to reason that the crowd would want her executed, right?

But no, the crowd supports Eda and she never suffers for being a wild witch, only her curse is what causes all of her problems. The fact that no one really cares about the EC outside of its reinforcers is also a huge problem of the show. The show can’t decide how it wants the EC to be portrayed: an all-powerful tyrannical dictatorship or an annoyance with easily defeated goons who just get in the heroes’ way. 

That’s just one example of inconsistencies in world-building, but it is also present in the characters as well. We see character retcons or even have the rug pulled out from the audience with Kikimora and the Blights; it was teased that Kiki may actually miss her family and that there is some conflict between them but that turned out to be a huge lie. Before that, Amity’s parents are both shown to have pushed her to separate from Willow but then it turns out that it’s only Odalia who is the bad parent while Alador is simply neglectful and is also abused by his wife. 

And these three characters aren’t even the only ones: Amity’s siblings also bully her but are never given a reason for why and it’s never really addressed again. Darius is introduced as being dismissive and cruel to Hunter and only changes his attitude once Hunter stands up to him. I don’t know, it’s pretty messed up to imply that an abused child only gets respect from an authority figure once he’s shown a little backbone.

Finally, there’s the Collector; who had a pretty malicious streak in how he saw the grimwalkers as play things and was excited to see Belos kill Hunter and make another one. Then it’s revealed that he’s actually a lonely little kid who just wants to play with none of his previous characteristics present.

This isn't to say that once a character is presented one way that that is their only characterization, but there needs to be a logical progression and natural development in how these different aspects are shown and how a character changes.

It feels like the show is uninterested in depicting nuanced villains and shows them as always evil and any attempt to find humanity in them is laughable. On the flip side, there are the creator’s favorite characters who have any sort of edge sanded off of them in order to be more likable and in most cases, another victim of Belos.

[contrasting-realities]

"Simon Finds ANOTHER Little Girl" AU

This is a crossover between girl from the other side and infinity train, spoilers for both.

Some background knowledge, you can skip parts of this if you already are familiar with the series in question.

Girl from the other side is a manga about a little girl named Shiva who lives with a horned guardian called 'Teacher'. Teacher is what's called an outsider, beings that spread a curse which slowly turns humans into outsiders upon contact. Eventually Shiva is touched by a different outsider but doesn't seem to be effected by the curse... at least until later when she is captured by soldiers and brought to the 'inside'.

Infinity Train is an anthology series where the main setting is an infinite train which exists to help people sort out problems in their lives. The main way of doing so is by having people go through cars with entities created by the train, called denizens, and by having a number linked to their issue, they are let off once their number reaches zero.

Simon is a character from the third season of infinity train, and alongside his friend Grace, they run a ground called the Apex. The Apex misunderstood what the numbers meant and thought that it was a sign of power and strength. Their goals is to get their number as high as possible, regardless of anything else. They also think denizens are worthless because they don't have numbers.

I call this "Simon finds another little girl" because early in season 3 a girl named Hazel and a denizen who acts as her mother figure, a gorilla named Tuba, join Simon and Grace after they get separated from the Apex. But Simon eventually kills Tuba to 'protect' Hazel, this only causes the girl to be traumatized and Grace begins to question the ideas of the group she founded, before Hazel leaves them and Simon betrays Grace when she tries to get him to stop with his behavior.

AU Starts here.

Simon leaves to reunite with the Apex and this is where the AU properly starts. While traveling between train cars, Simon comes across Shiva after she winds up on the train soon after being brought to the inside. Since she is a little girl who is alone, and he doesn't want what happened with Hazel trusting a denizen to repeat, he takes Shiva under his wing and tries to indoctrinate her with his ideology. Shiva doesn't buy any of it and winds up telling him about her past with Teacher and all that stuff from her dimension... which confuses Simon since he hasn't heard of anything like that.

But then something strange happens... when it comes to the curse Shiva is effectively a typhoid mary, so Simon beings to turn into an outsider and loses his humanity. Usually humans who turn into outsiders turn into trees within a few days because the curse rots their souls, but since Simon is from another universe and is more like the primordial form of life created by the god's of Shiva's reality before everything was destroyed and rebuilt as humans and outsiders, which is what caused the curse in some regard, the curse effects him much slower and he is able to remain alive for much longer.

Simon is not happy about any of this and neither is Shiva! She didn't want to curse anybody and now Simon is mistaken for a denizen most of the time, even though he does still have his number. Simon realizes that he can't carry on the torch that Grace 'abandoned', not just because he looks like a denizen but also because he could spread the curse to others, and so just wanders the train with Shiva looking for any way to fix what was done to him.

I find it likely that he somehow found a way to get himself and Shiva full body hazmat suits and he went back to the one person he wished he didn't have to, the cat aka Samantha, a denizen who he was friends with as a child but who abandoned him to save her own hide, as a desperate attempt to find a cure.

As for what will happen when Grace finds out that he isn't with the Apex or finds him again, or if Teacher winds up on the train, I'm not entirely sure.

[embraceyourdestiny]

I don't blame Laura myself (she's one of my favorites, after all), I was giving my perception of how it was to Travis. And Travis, "You said no more killing, ma," Hackett isn't likely to stab someone without feeling like they deserve it.

While he might initially view her as young, by trying to (from his perspective) take his life so that she can harm his family, she likely became an adult in his eyes. "Legal adult" is internet terminology in that context, but the core concept of someone old enough to be responsible for their actions is everywhere. Chances are, the Hacketts set the age of responsibility significantly below average in his case, so the number is more malleable in his mind.

Communicating clearly could have avoided a lot of trouble, but can be physically difficult if you grew up having your words used against you and/or dismissed. Travis goes into conversations assuming the person is going to ignore or weaponize everything he says. Obfuscating is safer for him, because he is less likely to be punished for "bad reasoning" and he expects them to do what they want regardless of his concerns. He told Laura about the white wolf, and she decided to kill his brother instead of helping him end the problem at its source and save his family along with her boyfriend, which only confirms to him that honest communication is dangerous.

While the game warns us that he will kill Laura because she shot him, we don't know that he would have done so if she had left his family alone. I.e. if she took a car and tried to put as much distance between herself and North Kill. In that situation, he may have let her live if he caught her, but approached her as a fugitive who deserves to rot in jail. I personally see Kaylee's death as his breaking point, not being shot.

She was his proof that people can be good. If Laura chooses not to hurt him, then she is her own proof. Kaylee may be gone, but he still has hope that humanity is able to be better than what he knows. Without a light to turn to, he succumbs to the darkness he was raised with because being "better" is pointless if all it does is get you hurt.

I don't think he was a "good guy", or making the right choices, I just can understand his perspective.

(Thanks for chatting!)

Here a more in-depth reply continuing a similar conversation with another person

I don’t really have much to say to this because I feel like I covered this in the other post but I will say a lot of the thoughts you bring up are mostly inferences / assumptions / hypotheticals and not anything founded by canon (like the assumption of ‘good communication and consequence’, unless you have evidence which id love to see, or if Laura found a car) so I don’t really wanna touch that because it’s gonna turn into semantics about things that aren’t canon so imo i don’t wanna talk about that when I’m specifically talking about what happens/ can happen, (if you wanna analyze / character study Travis in my inbox tho, go right ahead!) so I hope you’ll understand where I’m coming from with that. Cuz if we wanted to get into the nitty gritty of character motivation and our assumptions and such we absolutely can but that is an entirely separate conversation than the one I was having originally, where the point was that in that specific playthrough the math isn’t mathing for Travis to me. Like I said, feelings are justified, but his actions? Personally, I think no. Because Travis is forgetting Laura is still a victim. He’s a victim too, in some regards, but when it comes to her and max he’s literally their capturer and he WOULD go to jail if anyone found out (and if our system was just 🙃)

Oh and in case you don’t read the other post, the biggest thing is that he kills human Laura after the curse is broken. Werewolf Laura ofc makes sense for various reasons, but killing Laura after everything is over? It’s just petty lmao like idk I have a real shit family life and know how easy it is to get involved in family bullshit but he didn’t see Laura as an innocent because she… angered him? Escaped? I guess you can say she “foiled the plan” but still, is that enough to be determined to murder someone that you stab them multiple times with a broken mirror, and then try to kill another person there who was also a victim?? Maybe something deeper is being hinted at though. The animalistic nature. Because Travis definitely looks crazed when he charges for Ryan. Maybe he metaphorically had a wolf in him the whole time. Who knows.

[monstermaster13]

About the grooming rumors.

I am just going to clarify things up regarding the RP that got the 'grooming' accusations, it happened way before I started doing this show and I am going to just explain it in the best way I can, since I don't want to use any real Deviantartist names I am just going to call these characters Fictional RP Character 1 and 2, both of these characters know each-other really well, the latter instigated what was a fictional roleplay scenario, let's just say one of them is an ageless being but he has a condition that makes him older than mankind in a spiritual sense and the other is a character cursed to take on different identities, the former has multiple different appearances and the latter has an identity crisis in which their powers in which either change/act up or cause them to become someone else.

Keep in mind both of these characters are fictional so this is not real, the basic premise of the hypothetical RP is that the former is put under a curse that causes his normal monster powers to act up and for him to become the Hessian Horseman, who is a character said character loves very much, and it's a curse that is depicted as gruesome and as horrifyinly as possible with lots of blood and pain like an 80s horror movie, and he loses control of himself as this character and turns evil. It's simple as that.

So the second character tries to help him throughout it and tries to keep him from giving in to his inner undead maniac, and half-way through the storyarc of this adventure this guy disappears, leaving only the first character left but then another character comes in and helps him, and he forms an on and off and on again relationship with a character who is a vampire, she offers to take his humanity away and make him her lover because she loves his inner Walken/Hessian side, and she removes his humanity and makes him a cold undead killer like she is, he finds himself getting addicted to blood and the idea of preying on others and feeding on their blood, he encounters a character who forms a master/student relationship with him to help him with his problem.

Twist of fate happens when he ends up being corrupted by this one female vampire he was in a relationship with and she dies, only to come back as another species and to resent him, and then to reveal she was using him the entire time. She dies again and comes back and tries to kill him and his family, the other character uses his powers to coax him into turning evil, and he starts turning more and more monstrous and evil throughout, eventually..guess what, said second character that left came back. Said second character is horrified to see him as a villain, and he stalks after them, he doesn't do anything 'sexual' to them, he just tries to brainwash them and make them evil. Where the grooming accusations come from, I don't know, because I don't ever recall the first character being cruel to this character or even sexually abusive.

How this is supposedly grooming I don't know, yeah if it was with an adult character and a kid character I could understand that, but the second character in this hypothetical scenario may not even be someone of a younger demographic and may just have been stuck in the identity/form of a younger person, because remember in-universe the 'She-Hessian Spirit' is a spirit who can take over any person's body, so let's just saw the true form of this second character is actually something far from human, and is just the spirit's vessell until the 'She-Hessian' separates from the second character's body and becomes her own separate character. I got called out for it on both TF-IRL and I got kicked out of said subreddit before I could get defend myself and someone made a grooming rumor about me, the person who roleplayed as that character probably is only pretending that I groomed them to be 'woke' . A discord server I was not even apart in (the Amazing TF-Circus server) had a user named Koko call me a groomer as well, keep in mind I could not report them because I was not in that server.

The thing is does it matter how old these characters are, it would be concerning if it was a human younger than 20, yes but these hypothetical characters are ageless, they don't have specific ages. The second character is just a vessel for the 'She-Hessian' spirit in this universe to possess, and after that character dies or leaves, the 'She-Hessian' Spirit becomes her own entity. Keep in mind in this universe, the She-Hessian is a spirit, and whoever is taken by her is her vessel so she isn't using them for anything other than to carry out her plans, whether it be a male, female, trans or even nonbinary host she is sharing a body with.

These RPs are not in the slightest bit sexual, at least not from I can tell, there isn't anything in these RPs that is beyond a traditional R rating in terms of content, a lot of these types aren't like that, yes characters do swear, there are mentions of alcohol even though these characters clearly don't drink, there is violence but exaggerated violence so it isn't realistic, and there are dark jokes and a lot of blood and gore, but really you WILL see a lot worse on HBO or Cinemax or even in an Eli Roth movie.

I am just going to say these grooming accusations are bullshit, oh sure…this one gets the 'Me Too' treatment while actual groomers get away with their crimes on here without being reported? That's just mortifying. People, it's just a RP. RPs aren't real and will not hurt you, just because I like to roleplay about vampires doesn't mean I like drinking blood in real life, have you even tried doing that IRL? Blood is apparently poisonous in real life. And not to mention the germs you might get if you drank from someone else's blood especially if that person has been sick.

[introvertbard]

Another reason that people don’t break into “adult fantasy” is probably because we get mistaken FOR Young Adult fantasy?

For some reason “adult fantasy” is pigeonholed into “SEX! DEATH! BLOODGOREVIOLENCE!”, but like... I wish more adult fantasy dealt with actual adult problems! Like jobs and navigating colonization and shit!

Like, on the first website I posted my novel draft “The Crocodile God”, the story was mysteriously mistaken as “young adult” by one reader, and a second reader said something like, “if there wasn’t so much swearing, this would be a wonderful story for young adult Filipinos to decolonize with!”

And I was panicking because THE STORY IS NOT ‘WONDERFUL!!!’ MY TARGET AUDIENCE IS NOT TEENAGERS!!! I DO NOT WANT THE BABIES TO READ THIS SHIT! I’m thirty-three, and I write for people close to my age!

I have no idea why a story about a Tagalog sea-god who is dealing with colonization, being an undocumented immigrant in America, the trauma from his first daughter’s stillbirth, and MORE trauma from his reincarnated wife’s multiple deaths or separations from him, is appropriate “YOUNG adult fantasy.”

I guess it was because the fantasy is FANTASY? It’s not ambiguous or a secret that Mirasol is a reincarnated sea-god’s wife. I say so in the fucking summary. The trouble is how being a god’s wife NOW is dangerous for both of them, because of colonization/racism fucking things up.

Haik also has a mild theme regarding human sacrifice, since he’s not called THE CROCODILE GOD for nothing. Crocodiles in Filipino folklore fulfill the cultural niche of dragons in mainland Asia, but Filipino dragons eat people! (They also try to eat the moon and the sun, and that’s why we have eclipses!) He technically met Mirasol when she was about to be sacrificed to him, and in post-colonial Philippines, when pregnant Mirasol got shot by her Spanish master because he thought Haik was bluffing about being a native god, Haik immediately turned into a crocodile and ate him in a rage.

And the icing on the cake is how Haik and Mirasol have sex in the beginning while she thinks he’s just a hot and mysteriously well-educated shipwreck survivor, and when she remembers their relationship, they have MORE sex. Because they both remember that they’re married!

Like: I know teenagers have sex and live through hard shit, but I had no idea why Second Reader did not put two and two together with like, all the stuff I mentioned above, and then gave me a note on how “constant cursing” was a little much for young-adult readers.

Uhhh... the constant cursing from two adults whose marriage is strained under colonization and imminent deportation, and who are angry at ICE???

My take on "why there are many adults that only read YA novels" is pretty simple

The YA book explosion of the mid 2000's-mid 2010's was mostly scifi and fantasy genre, and trying to "get into" adult SFF is a punishment from hell

[blackhallow]

pls elaborate how could nobara do this too im guessing u mean her cursed technique

im rly just waiting for her like a clown at this point i miss my girl so much 😭

We're not clowns anon we're not! She will be back I know this. This isn't a very long post but I'll still put it under a cut so I won't clog anyone's dash. Here's my take on how Nobara can, and hopefully will, be important in the series going forward. (Spoilers up to ch 199)

Right, so I do mean her cursed technique as a way to injure Sukuna! Nobara's been stablished to be able to hurt souls before, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if she does come back understanding the core of cursed energy better, as she was trying to do, she should be able to pinpoint where exactly Yuji's soul ends and where Sukuna's begins. IF and only if she is able to see this, then nothing stops her from just doing this to Sukuna:

There are a lot of caveats though, Sukuna is immensely strong, for one, and the damage from Resonance really varies depending on the strength difference between Nobara and her target, so we'll need a way to bypass this and maybe have someone else weaken him. Now if we're talking about saving Yuji, the latest chapter gave us a new problem, since Angel says 99% of the times trying to separate a vessel from a cursed object will end with them dying, but it's not a 100% chance! This may just be Gege's way of foreshadowing something with that 1%. And if Nobara does have anything to do with helping Yuji that would make it twice she beat these silly percentages, as Arata said her survival chance "was low but not 0%" :)

Oh, and while writing this post it just occurred to me that Resonance may be a sure-hit type of attack, similar (but not the same) to Kashimo's lightning. Makes me wonder what would happen if Nobara were to use it on one of Sukuna's fingers. She can disable cursed tools (Momo's broom) so maybe she is also able to disable cursed objects like the fingers, and I'm using the word disable because cursed objects can't be destroyed, but who knows maybe affecting the soul of them actually could destroy them, since now we know per chapter 198 inanimate objects have souls as well. There's still the power difference between her and Sukuna, but his fingers are another way she could reach his soul without necessarily "seeing" it.

I do believe Nobara's return will have her more involved with the plot (copium) so this could be a cool way of doing that. I don't have more theories regarding this or how she could get to a level to actually hurt someone like that, but the setup is really there imo, and killing Sukuna's soul does seem like the easiest way to get rid of him while keeping Yuji alive.