#honestly just have some schadenfreude

[foldingfittedsheets]

Come with me now on another story adventure.

Some types of hardship do start to feel like curses if they happen often enough. One thing I’ve experienced a lot- or at least enough to posit a curse- is my apartments flooding.

I’ve had flooding in three separate apartments I’ve lived in.

The place I lived with Betty flooded due to a massive rainstorm and poor placement on a downhill slope. Betty’s room was more effected than mine, but due to poor handling by the management it resulted in some rampant black mold and my eventual falling out with Betty as we broke the lease to escape.

My first flooding though. Happened when I lived in a third floor apartment. How, you might ask, is that possible?

Oh, Reader. Prepare yourself.

Now, I need to set the stage. Because you see, I shared this apartment with the last boy I’d ever date, Brendan. We’d known going into the relationship that I had a predilection for pussy but it finally clicked that I was just not attracted to men.

This was particularly devastating because I still loved that boy with all my heart but neither of us were getting what we needed out of the relationship. Suffice it to say, the atmosphere in the apartment in which he was sleeping on the couch was A BUMMER.

We were both sick, probably from stress, and had bad coughs. It was the night before midterms.

I was tucked up into bed, with little kitten Leeloo, ready to get to sleep. It was about 10pm. Brendan knocked and poked his head into the room.

“It’s raining in the bathroom,” he said.

I got out of my comfy bed, and joined him in the bathroom. Raining was an exaggeration but there was definitely water dripping down the door jam and pooling up under the paint.

“That’s not good.”

We both stared at this problem together, sick and sad.

Finally, I suggested, “Go see if the upstairs neighbor left a faucet on. I’ll try to call maintenance.”

He left and I started making calls. At 10pm it was understandable that I was getting a lot of voicemails. Two maintenance lines deep, Brendan returned.

“The people above us are getting drops too, and the place above that won’t respond.”

Four defunct numbers later, I finally got ahold of an emergency maintenance guy who was on call. “It’s raining in our bathroom.”

He was befuddled and said he’d be in soon.

That was about when it really actually started raining. Drips began pouring out of light fixtures. Terrified, we turned off the lights we could, setting out bowls and towels to mitigate water damage. Water dripped from several lights and started pooling ominously in the long flat kitchen light.

The maintenance man arrived around midnight. There was bowls and buckets littering the ground as Brendan and I watched in abject misery as water filled them. The maintenance man was wildly out of his depth, having been left in sole charge while the entire rest of the staff was on vacation.

As we spoke to him, the water infiltrated our smoke alarm which began screaming in earnest at this wet invasion. The maintenance man promised to try to see what was causing the issue and fled. Brendan and I regarded each other. We coughed, sick and exhausted, then went to empty the water buckets.

An hour passed. The smoke alarm persisted, it’s three shrill screeches pounded relentlessly into our ear drums. We stopped existing as individuals and became vessels of suffering. The paint in the bathroom started sloughing off the wall in wet ripples.

Brendan tried to rouse the neighbor again and returned unsuccessful.

The maintenance man returned. It was 1am. He couldn’t get ahold of the apartment causing the flooding. He couldn’t get ahold of his bosses. After the update he made to leave and we begged him, please, just make the beeping stop, please. It can rain inside, and I can get no sleep the night before midterms, and I can cough miserably all night while I empty water bowls, but please, god, please, just make the beeping stop.

He promised to try and left. At some point around then, the flat kitchen light shattered under the pressure and gushed out a fall of water. Brendan and I gave a bleak half hearted startle and tried to scrounge up more towels.

I started slipping into madness. The unceasing blaring beeps. The rain. The misery of being in this wretched situation with someone I used to be able to reach toward for comfort who I couldn’t anymore. This was hell, I decided. This circumstance fits into how they torture people, and I live here in this torturescape now. The maintenance man was never coming back.

The maintenance man came back with a ladder eventually.

Brendan and I watched with blank hungry eyes as he fussed with the alarm and at 2am it finally ceased its shrieking klaxon of madness. I cried. The man left again. We emptied the bowls.

And finally, half an hour later, the rain began to abate. The maintenance man returned to inform us that he’d entered the upstairs unit.

Someone had become incapacitated and left their bath running. He was not at liberty to disclose what happened so presumably someone was sauced out of their gourd and fell into a deep stupor such that several hours of sustained door pounding couldn’t rouse them.

People all down the row flooded, and he looked near tears himself. We thanked him and went to collapse into bed. Neither of us took midterms the next day.

Brendan and I are still friends to this day, even after a night fit to drive someone mad.

My last event of apartment flooding was a sewer main getting blocked. It was when my betrothed and I had just started dating and they were hanging out at my place while I was at work. Due to this good fortune, they were able to move my couch, entertainment system, and electronics out of the path of the flood.

It took a week and some extremely pointed emails to get the landlord to comp me rent for the week I couldn’t live there and the entire time I was just thankful I wasn’t stuck with water dripping from my lights while a fire alarm drove me to the brink of madness.

[yourdandelionofthedeathknell]

The Theraprism: Good or bad?

Ya know, i've never been sure how to feel on the Theraprism, as shown in the Book of Bill. This is in large part because we get very little info on it, from any perspective other then BIll's own at least (and he is...Not a reliable narrator). Personally, I see three possible interpretations and I don't know which one is correct. To be clear, I think all of these are fairly valid: 1. Their methods seem insipid, but are actually quite effective. They seem to have been effective in the past (one of Bill's fellow patients is slated for release in the near-future apparently), and the Axolotl (who, while not exactly rich characterization himself, has, generally, been portrayed as wise and benevolent) referred to it as "what [Bill] needs the most", which would be weird if it doesn't have SOME merit. I, myself, honestly prefer this one, because I think it works better with the narrative of the Book of Bill (a book which, generally, does not encourage the reader to sympathize with Bill's plight. Pity, maybe, but the framing is very clearly that he kinda deserves this) and the schadenfreude the reader is encouraged to feel if Bill's hellish afterlife is, largely if not entirely, a self-inflicted one: That it wouldn't be particularly bad if not for his own combo of being unable to accept that he lost, that he shouldn't be allowed to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to anyone he wants, inability to form meaningful bonds with others, and, most of all, his total inability to admit to being wrong. He COULD leave at any time, if he would just actually repent, but...He's Bill, so...He won't. It just works best for me if his hell is largely self-inflicted. 2. They are harmful, possibly deliberately. This does have a fair bit of support textually. Mandatory therapy is already a pretty major ethical grey area at best (a major tenant of modern psychotherapy is that you can't make someone change unless they take the first step), they definitely engage in toxic positivity, and, of course, the "Solitary Wellness Void" is...Solitary confinement, which is a practice most modern medical institutions oppose and consider to be psychological torture. So, fair bit of support for this. 3. This is what I think was probably Alex's intent: They're a bunch of oblivious obnoxiously happy morons (as Bill himself would probably describe them) whose attempts to treat eons-old eldritch horror bad guys with puppet shows and arts and crafts is meant to be amusingly-inept rather then actively malicious, and whose effectiveness (such as it is) is down to having literally eternity to try. Kinda like what Mabel might do to rehabilitate someone. To use an analogy, think Charlie Morningstar from Hazbin, at least in the first couple episodes, where the fact that she's treating adult criminals like misbehaving children is the joke and is meant to indicate incompetence rather than malice. I get that isn't that much different from the proceeding (except in terms of "how seriously are we supposed to take this"), but still. I think all three of these have support, and, to be clear, I go with the first one not because I think it's the most supported (might be the least), but because it jives most with how I think about BIll's narrative IE as a character we're meant to, at best, pity, but not really sympathize with. I think the intent is "Bill is suffering a karmic self-inflicted punishment after all the pain and suffering he's caused", not "Bill is being medically abused and we should feel bad for him". The Book of Bill does invite readers to sympathize with Bill occasionally, but mostly past Bill, not current Bill. All viewpoints are valid, this is just trying to organized some thoughts on the subject. I sincerely hope I haven't said anything harmful here. Uh, cards on the table, I am neurodivergent, but i've never had therapy, forcefully or otherwise (although I did have an irrational fear of the possibility of institutionalization for a bit), so i'm sorta going off vibes here, sorry to say. If I said anything insensitive here, I apologize.

[freakinator]

funny thing about how i view the conflict in todays stream is that i view flame and wemmbu in very separate ways despite them doing essentially the same thing

in flames case:

i view his betrayal as ultimately a tragedy, their history all thrown aside due to a combination of wounded pride and genuine upset

if yall didnt see his chat for this stream it was actually really, really bad, like his chat is genuinely so fucking annoying oh my god and is a really good demonstration of why i think streamers should be mean to their chatters sometimes to so i actually wasnt at all surprised that he was so upset but i thought hed log off instead of acting out like this

he wanted respect but literally ruined the months long work of one of the few ppl that were willing to trust him over something that couldve been resolved if he just waited until september, but at the same time i can kinda understand why he was being so impulsive considering again his chat is Really bad, but at the end of the day that really shouldnt have been something you took out on one of your few allies like???? bruh even mocked zams storytelling as if he didnt do thee same shit as well 😭

honestly one of the reasons i was sad about his betrayal is cause it kinda sounded to me like he was genuinely about to cry at first??? maybe im just making shit up tho and he def stopped sounding like he was gonna cry after blowing up the spacewaffles tower lol

in wemmbus case:

i feel no pity for this man, he wanted conflict wherever he can get it and he got it! i think hes a lot like zam in that he just wants some attention and most importantly something to do but whatever happens to him next is his own fault lmao, i respect his honesty tho like hey he sucks but he knows what hes about at least lol

the fact that he still kept trying to get a commission from zam (or at least guilttripping him about it for lack of a better word) like bro i know you wanted to do a capitalism morality dilemma arc with zam but read the room my guy 😭

maybe hes at least a little mad that zam kept turning him away despite the fact he accepted a commission from mapicc of all ppl but like. bro. theres a reason zam called him a nightmare customer lmao

that being said you can tell hes not used to going this overboard considering he offered to help repair the tree when zam got upset lmao

idk i just thought his evilness was kinda funny, still hope he gets his shit kicked in spectacularly tho!

its funny, despite being acting like the shitty no reading comprehension version of abyss he gives me the exact same feeling of schadenfreude i did for minute back in s5 and i believe part of it is his mockery of lore and weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict particularly regarding zam

by weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict i mean both he and minute both tried to convince zam to see ''their side'' and ''reason'' but coming at it from an angle that completely misunderstands zam and when zam points it out they dismiss it and act like it means nothing because of their ''objective'' view of reality, spoiler alert! its not objective at all and they refuse to understand things from zams perspective cause they think hes just being unreasonable or something

idk overall i think their motivations for doing things are just kinda... shit lol

like ik theres some pretty obvious parallels that can be made with s5 here but the difference between the og players and flamebu aside from the lack of style and drama is that the og players waited several months before they started acting out the way they did and when they did start acting out tgey always made sure evryone who wanted to get involved Actually got involved rather than doing it while everyone was away plus their opps werent their own allies (except maybe pangi depending on how you look at it)

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Thinking about young nightmare and his friendgroup...doing dumb shit....

I saw this a lot that nightmare would be the responsible and completely mature teenager that knows everything(though i havent seen it a lot now, but i also dont read a lot of nightmare centred fics because i get nit picky about it) which kinda gives me the ick i cant lie 😔

I've been thinking about them a lot recently, like nightmare probably got pulled into a bunch of dumb shit and stuff he would've never done if it weren't for his friends

I'm talking vandalism, and not the malicious kind like destroying buildings that 5 century old nightmare does, i'm talking grafitti and accidentally breaking a tree while breaking in a school because they were gonna prank the history teacher. OR when they're a little older drinking games

This man has definitely done some dumb shit, just because he is book smart and immortal doesnt mean he wasnt a teenager and young adult. He definitely both fucked up and has had some embarrassing moments.

I'm also just thinking about them having sleepovers and being in a giant cuddle pile because nightmare is cold, and him just accidentally hitting them with his tendril thingies

Sometimes its not an accident though, shouldn't have made a comment about an embarrassing moment for him 😋

Also just thinking about him and his lover when they were young, like they definitely had some fights and have said dumb stuff. They always made up, either by themselves or like that one time they got locked in a linen closet and forced to make up by the others.

Also thinking about how nightmare is an unknown creature to them, they have never seen a walking skeleton before let alone one covered in...something and tendrils out his back. Also just thinking about him and his lover exploring eachother because well, they're curious, and young so they do dumb shit and accidentally fuck up nightmares hand for a second while trying to figure out how his hands work

Whoops?

Or just nightmare being confused about humans, and why they are warm, why they have eyelashes and stuff. He knows they do, he has seen humans before in the village but he could never ask why they had that. So having someone explain it to him is probably nice and vice versa.

Also thinking about how nightmare is cold so in the summer all of them are frequently seen draping themselves over nightmare while eating icecream. And nightmare is still under a blanket.

Honestly just giving nightmare the teen experience because dream wont be able to because he was in the stone, and seeing almost everyone around you have had that experience, even your own brother must be..well something

Also yk how you make a dumb mistake in your teens and then discourage others not to do that?

Nightmare encourages dream to do the same embarrassing shit he did when young because he thinks it funny. Schadenfreude is something nightmare is very much familiar with

Also probably to make himself feel a little bit better that even his 'perfect' (according to the villagers) brother has embarrassing moments too

You and I are similar in not being able to read many favorite character-centric fics due to being nitpicky.

Although in my case there’s very rarely any Killer centric fics that isn’t just Killer sucking off Nightmare or Cross or simping over someone—usually Nightmare.

(Strange how this fandom used to hypersexulize killer by making him a horny lustful pervert 24/7 and infantilize him at the same time. And still kinda does. Though thankfully people are moving away from that, and i actually find much better fics for me by writers (and artists) over here on Tumblr.) (I had to prevent myself from ranting about killers potential in fics multiple times 🙏)

Anyway! I love that idea, especially the idea of him and his lover exploring eachother and just being really dumb teens. The idea of Nightmare having a teen experience and a life before all the King of Negativity, cult leader labor trafficker kidnapper torturer stuff.

It would be kinda funny and interesting if Nightmare’s lover actually had a red soul—and he kinda attaches to Killer for that reason and sees a lot of them in him (similar to how Chara saw only the “better” version of Asriel/Flowey in Killer, or how Papyrus and the whole multiverse only saw Sans, and keeps with the theme that no one but Color ever saw Killer for Killer.)

And like, Nightmare may or may not have any of those types of feelings for Killer—but he is possessive, because Killer reminds him of what he lost, and he is useful.

And also the idea of Dream having lost out on his childhood/teen hood and having to spend it just training and preparing to become the Guardian of Positivity and keeping the Balance, protecting the Multiverse, fighting/saving his brother, is all so sad. Nightmare got to live and mature naturally (without his family of course, and likely being hated and feared and isolated wherever he went), whereas Dream was forced to grow fast to basically be a child soldier.

{ @brokenramunebottle }

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

Hi, I am so relieved to see that you seem to have an open mind about this crazy case. Your are one of the most sane people on this website and honestly, I have seen many people in the last few weeks that I've considered pretty moderate on the left-right issues, now reblogging some horrific posts that basically celebrate senseless violence and crime.

It does remind me a bit of the way people treat the Middle East conflicts here, like some of them (for reasons only they know, but I bet that some are paid trolls) create these false choices where they act like you have to choose a side from two extremes and if you don't take one, you must by default support the other - if you condemn the murder, it apparently means that you approve of everything that insurance companies do to screw with people. Just like if you don't support the destruction of Israel you apparently support genocide. Basically it's phrased like you have only two options, both of them in favor of violence. When most normal people would just want for everyone to have their basic human rights and safety. But people in progressive spaces nowadays are so afraid to be labeled as the bad ones, so they choose who the violence should be inflicted on based on which groups are more popular and which are more hated.

Just my two cents on how these two trends here look similar to me.

Honestly, I don’t really know the complete details of the case but I do know that it’s deeply concerning to me just how many people are fully okay with an unarmed person being gunned down in the street. Yeah, from what I understand, he’d caused a lot of pain and suffering but open the door to condoning vigilante execution even once, who the hell knows where that would end? If you can justify anything, where do you stop? I do also realise that as a Brit, living in a country with universal health care (even if it is a system at breaking point because of years of government underfunding) that I can never fully understand the fear and trauma of navigating such a horrifying system as the US has so, to some extent, I can understand the schadenfreude some people feel, even if I can never condone the violence.

[the-woman-upstairs]

Honestly, all my schadenfreude over the public evisceration of James Somerton by Hbomberguy and Todd in the Shadows is tempered by the anger I feel at how much damage, pain, misinformation, and marginalizing one man was capable of accomplishing through the platform he built through plagiarism, blatant lies, and outright bigotry.

And frankly it sucks that it took the efforts of two other popular YouTube creators to bring him down when Somerton was clearly never good at hiding any of his horrific behavior. There were clearly women and trans/non-binary people who knew something was up with him and his “work” but were either harassed/doxxed by the fans he set on them or knew they didn’t have the same kind of clout/support to be believed over him.

It just boggles my mind how EASY it would have been for him to cite these sources and work with other queer creators on the platform to help create a wealth of accessible, comprehensive knowledge of queer media and history available to a younger generation. Because clearly, there’s a hunger in the younger generations of queer kids/people for that knowledge, the understanding of the past, how it informs the present and creates the future. But all Somerton did was steal from other creators, ones who either didn’t know their work was stolen or were given the run-around by Somerton instead of proper accreditation.

Instead of uplifting other people and their research, he selfishly stole and hoarded it, before regurgitating it and claiming it was all his own while also infecting some excellent analysis with awful, bigoted opinions, particularly geared towards women, trans people, or any type of queer he didn’t believe was the “right kind.” You know, like all the “boring gays” that “survived” the AIDS crisis.

I want to believe that this time we’ll learn to not take people at face value, just because they give the appearance of professionalism and sound authoritative on whatever subject is covered. Because that’s how dangerous misinformation is spread and taken for fact. Todd was absolutely on the money when he pointed out how it is important to document all the lies and plagiarism with Somerton because how many young people believed what he was saying? How many people watched his videos on the adult film industry or “bad gays” or Nazis influence on body image and walked away thinking they were learning something about their history? Far too many, I’m sure.

Though at least having these two videos to refer to can help people learn when to spot someone who’s being disingenuous in “teaching people something.” And that any person who claims to be the “only person” talking about an issue is mostly likely lying and trying to sell you something. Usually, their own brand. It’s far better to diversify the people you follow and the voices you listen to, and the playlist Hbomberguy made available is a great place to start.

But I also recommend seeking out some of the original sources yourself. There’s typically queer history books/memoirs in the nonfiction section of your local library. You can find the original Celluloid Closet documentary on Tubi, along with another interesting one, Do I Sound Gay? Disclosure, the documentary on depictions of trans people in Hollywood, is available on Netflix. And that’s just a couple of the top of my head. If you’re looking for queer films in general, Wolfe Video has so many available for purchase or even just to peruse and rent the titles later.

I do hope some good comes out of all this, even if the damage done by Somerton still lingers in online queer spaces (fingers crossed this means the end of Illuminaughtii and Internet Historian as well). It helps to be wary of people seeking to take advantage of the online spaces we now inhabit, but there’s still people and places across the internet that are doing good work and want to help educate people. They may not always be easy to find and may even require some effort on the part of the audience, but the end result of really learning something, discovering interesting research/work, or being part of open minded discussions is a worthwhile reward. And always something to be proud of.

[yridenergyridenergy]

Welcome! This is a special invitation to take the whole Dir en grey community for an enthralling ride into the Schadenfreude universe! 

That song’s lyrics are highly poetic, and seeing as it is a long song, we have even more to feed our imagination. These lines suggest an imagery, but far from forcing a specific one onto us, they peel at the layers of our creativity. 

We would love to see your approach on what those lyrics evoke for you. Some of you are incredible talented and this contest is less of a competition than it is an opportunity to create a gallery of amazing art dedicated to Dir en grey’s Schadenfreude!

Prizes

Still, as an incentive, you can expect not just many kudos and my heartfelt appreciation, but a couple of prizes! 

Two guaranteed prizes are sets of VIP & exclusive goods from Tour23 Phalaris Vol.II, which contain: portrait set (photographed during Tour23 From Depression To____ 25th Anniversary), drawing book (Perfume of Sins artist photo outlines), colouring pencils, wristbands set, and a large pouch. 

What’s more random and undetermined is that, on top of that, honestly, there are probably things that I would be willing to do or to depart with from my own collection. Whether it’s something in Photoshop, or you’re a fan of x member who is missing something, we’ll work out an extra prize that I can include in your package!

(Voting method and presentation of the entries to be determined - probably dependent on how many entries there are, if artists prefer to be presented anonymously or something, etc. I definitely won’t be making the decision myself, but I also want it to be as fair as possible for all participants!)

Deadline

I don’t want to rush creativity at all, but please submit your entries no later than July 7th 2023 at 11:59PM EST. Let me know if you find this too restrictive!

Here is the Google form to register your artwork:

https://forms.gle/BeBSzvgTj9GDvUfF7

Entries

You can enter as many entries as you wish to share! There are so many inspiring lyrics in Schadenfreude that would be difficult to mix into a single piece of art. At the same time, there isn’t necessarily strength in number in this case, since there will be at least two winners anyway. This is meant to give you flexibility rather than to force you to make a difficult choice on just one segment of Schadenfreude to illustrate, but don’t spread your efforts thin on too many pieces!

What medium? As long as it’s a still image, go wild with digital, paper, paint, clay(?). 

Literally no other theme than just: “Bring to life a part of Schadenfreude’s poetry”. The lyrics mention scenery for the most, but you could include a person in your artwork too. 

Do keep in mind the tone and way those lyrics are sung, as well as the surrounding melody, of course!

Tips?

This may be more distracting than helpful as it could create bias, but below the break, I’ll include some descriptions of how Schadenfreude was portrayed live by the band. 

Before the hidden break though, good luck to all and thank you to anyone who participates! If you can, please spread the word about this contest!

The lighting for Schadenfreude is overall very much blue and red, but I think there were scenes of red and green too. 

In the background, the accompanying video shows 3D graphics of: gnats, a featureless person praying on their knees, a corridor of material resembling inner linings or organs that leads to a wide room where a faceless branch being sits on a throne, the Devil with its horns, scorched paper, a devastated forest but also a jungle with a giant skull-shaped rcck or monument. Other parts of the video showcase sketches like those of the artist behind the Agitated Screams of Maggots and Rinkaku PVs, displaying a mage or a ghost. 

[strideofpride]

Season 3 of Gossip Girl was so aggressively mediocre tbh, like people bitch a lot about season 5, but at least that had some interesting drama interspersed into the poorly written storylines! The Serenate romance arc and the Dan/Blair popular kid/loser role reversal plots were fun, and the parts of Jenny’s arc that didn’t feel like character assassination were compelling, but outside of that…

Honestly I think the biggest issue was shifting things from being a Serena-centered school drama to a Chuck-centered business drama. The Bass Industries plot ended up dominating the season, and it wasn’t even conceptually interesting. Like the writers were trying to do their own pseudo-pre-Succession thing with Chuck, but they just slapped it right in the middle of a CW teen drama without any of the scaffolding to support it. “Will Chuck live up to his dead father’s expectations? Can he build his own empire, or will he squander his legacy?? Who’s his real mom, and what does she want?!” I don’t care, I really don’t care, and I wish she had wanted an abortion so I didn’t have to sit through 22 episodes of this. What the fuck is going on with Serena and why is Nate dating a republican???

(Okay also, if I’m being completely fair, the S3 Thanksgiving episode really did deliver. And I genuinely enjoyed the Dan/Nate friendship moments sprinkled throughout, as well as the periodic Dan/Blair and Dan/Georgina hijinks whenever they popped up. But those parts of the season got way less screen time than the Chuck/Chair angst, Serena’s suddenly urgent and all-consuming daddy issues, the weirdly bad Dan/Vanessa plot, or all of the nothing they were doing with Nate. The writers consistently prioritized the least interesting storylines that season.)

Yes, exactly! S3 had pockets of interesting stuff, like S5, but it was largely so dull and yeah, it *is* cause of all the “Chuck the teenage businessman stuff” (technically his only business is The Empire in s3, he doesn’t actually take over Bass Industries until Lily tries to sell it in s4). Plus, I always find Chuck boring when he’s in romantic hero mode, so the one-two of that is soooo. Ugh.

Also like…do c/hair fans actually like where they took that relationship in season 3? Cause I feel like the whole season was just a good case study of why they’re a horrible couple. Like they start off the season already doing sex games to spice things up after three months, then Chuck gets all mad at Blair for meddling with The Empire (they even say at one point they only make a good team when they have an enemy to scheme against like??? That sounds unhealthy bro). Then there’s all of Chuck’s mommy & Uncle Jack drama, where he basically shuts Blair out. Then he trades her for a hotel and then he tries to control her dating life after they break up and then he can’t even wait an hour and has dubious consent sex with Jenny like. Their dating season is so Bad for them actually.

And I don’t even get some schadenfreude from it cause once again: it’s all so fucking boring.

[swanno-arts]

⚓for all of your sinners :3c

This isnt part of the ask game but also, what would their canto boss battle song be if they have one?

⚓ — What would be their season EGO?

(RATTLES IN MY BOOTS) HEHEHEHOHOHO. OKAY to preface, the names of the EGOs could be tentative but :]

In order of Canto, with reasoning -

Parker - Pride, Prejudice (Spider of Marriage) - Parker's wish to get out of her restraints of marriage

Yossarian - Barbed Wires (The 4th Front of the Smoke War) - Yossarian's trauma from death and the Smoke War

Quail - Enlightenment (Star Luminary) - Quail regaining her memories regarding her past as a Color Fixer. Alternative EGO would be Blind Obsession but I didn't want to have a season canon repeat

Winston - Gaze (Schadenfreude) - A contrast between Winston's occupation as a B Corp Beholder and him doing everything to avoid The Eye.

JS - Sacrifice (Hammer of Light (legacy abno)) - A direct influence and reference to Blank Slate's hammer weapon (and by extension: JS' base EGO), possibly being related or an abberation of it.

Time Traveller - Clockwork Divergence (Backward Clock) - points. He's literally an iteration of Backward Clock. It's a family reunion :] /j

Bonus: What would be their Canto boss battle song?

Hm!!! I hope this meant like the Mili songs that play in the final boss battles, if so, hrmmmmm!!! I haven't fully thought of everyone's but,

Again, in order of Canto-

Parker - Nnnno clue just yet! I'm really sorry Parker I'm still really at a blank with her Canto as a whole. She's got some shenanigans with The Ring and her husband being a Maestro. The Ever Wanting probably has him as a final boss. No idea what kind of vibe the song would be.

Yossarian - No real reference point yet for what kind of song his Canto's final boss would have. I feel like some kind of daunting song since The Questioning's final boss would be one of his higher ups from his time in the Smoke War (plus the bough manifesting the Smoke War front). Something something Yossarian feeling guilty and selfish that he fled the war/his responsibilty just because he didn't want to die.

Quail - Thought about something with the tone and vibe of both Compass and Hero. The Reliving's end boss is also tentative, I was thinking Quail having a "kind of like Sancho" moment with being somewhat violent as the Crimson Guardian again for a bit - but don't really know who'd she fight as a final boss.

Winston - Honestly? Salt, Pepper, Birds, and the Thought Police is already a perfect final boss song for The Beholding, with CENSORED-O'Brien and corroded CENSORED-Julia as the final bosses. Maybe with a different tone so it could be a fight theme. Though, something similar to Through Patches of Violet is also in mind hehe

JS - HEAD IN MY HANDS. My genuine idea for his canto's final boss song is LITERALLY My Way by Frank Sinatra, but some more epic version like this one. Basically about JS coming to terms that he's who he is and his life and fate is his own making. It'll be the final boss song against JS' manifested Mirror ID, The Blank Slate. (Imagine it like Erlking Heathcliff)

Time Traveller - This man got some CLOCKS in their fuckass song. TT's canto song has something to do about (not) being human, the passage of time, and the grim future of humankind. No reference songs I could think on top of my head just yet. Also haven't decided The Short Falling's ending yet - but I THINK TT himself with The Power of The Golden Bough will be the final boss. branch f is fucked.

[juneibyou]

yknow what, i'm getting tired of even trying to take the high ground in the Vagueposting Game. i've been beating around the bush with jokes to make my points but like man i'm tired i wanna say what i have to say at least once, even at expense of dumping a big open letter at somebody on my account. this absolutely will not end it but he's getting so uppity about it now that i wanna throw my thoughts out somewhere. here's a big message for That Boy (who i will identify to dispel the veil of vaguing and for confused mutuals who care as Jeffy aka catboybeebop) or whatever goon he has stalking my account for him (both options equally as pathetic). if he takes one random point from this as a gotcha to try and tear it all down i need yall to help me take $20 from his dresser as penalty money:

do you genuinely not see the fact that you've been the one keeping this up for months purely based on your own lack of restraint. the fact that my continued joking and posting has exclusively come from your inability to just let it go, to stop making the random dunks, to stop name-dropping me in the replies of random people i've never met because of vague associations. i bring this shit up in response to occasionally finding out you've been up to it way harder, and even that reaction-to-a-reaction is enough to reflect as if i'm bringing it up too much. think about that

do you not realize that you're slowly pushing away people and affecting your reputation by doing this, that so many of our shared mutuals have gradually become more and more grated by this constant passive-aggression and dunking every time we deign to interact for whatever reason. you keep taking the fact that i even dare to come near your posts as an indictment as if we don't still end up in the same circles with semi-regularity. like of course i'm gonna end up seeing it if you're vaguing me directly under fanart of my sona. come on boy

i've been laughing this whole time both because of how meaningless it's all been to me in my general life and out of schadenfreude but it's just tiring and sad at this point. make fun of me all you want for posting about it too, laugh it up all you want to distract yourself, the fact still remains that for every couple of vagueposts i make whenever we're in the vicinity enough for me to predict you're mad, there's like 10 occasions of you trying to force your personal beef upon every random mutual or friend you know because you can't stand to hold your tongue.

this isn't just about me, this is one of the main reasons i stopped being friends with you. you have literally no restraint when it comes to people or things you don't like. at any given opportunity you'll find a way to hamfistedly bring up your personal vendettas, couching it under some semblance of "but i won't say anymore" repeatedly until you've given the whole game away through context clues. everyone fucking knows you don't like changed or whatever tumblr microcelebrity blocked you this time already you can skip that cutscene we've already seen it. hell i've had the "That Boy" thing going on mostly as a bit, anyone that knows me is painfully aware of who i'm talking about at this point, i don't even pretend like i'm having restraint the way you do. naturally the fact that you've been continuing to do this about me is gonna scan as pathetic and hilarious to someone with the pattern recognition to notice it

honestly hell i probably would be leaving it be by now too if it weren't for how many times you've claimed you're done with it or it's pointless. like man if you're done why are we still here talking about this. if it's pointless why do all these random teenage mutuals i've never seen before in my life have to know about me. think about this for like one whole second

you're trying so desperately to turn this around to your win, to your injoke, to your entertainment to laugh about, right as you've reached the zenith where even for your standards it's just become repetitive and sad. you're trying to catch me out through what i post, missing the forest for the trees. taking the admission that i've guessed at exactly when you're posting about me as a win, missing the implication that it's so obvious that you'll be set off by any vague interaction that i can guess it down to literal minutes of certainty. trying to look for any example of me slipping up and telling an opinion harshly or being vaguely hypocritical to try and sink my entire position and stop taking your months-long L.

you're just missing the point man. you've been missing the point this whole time. don't take this as an ultimatum, i can't force you to do shit, same way you can't force me to stop making you into a punchline (no matter how hard all the random friends and partners you've sent to DM me have tried). but just. come on man. Come on man. this whole time i feel like i've been trying to act as the final boss of the deep-seated problem that broke us apart in the first place, and the whole time you've just been galivanting around bringing me up to any random schmuck that happens to mention umineko or something. i've been doing all this for two reasons, to have fun, and to make a point, and this has gone on so long i'm getting tired of the bit and you're no closer to getting the damn point

i've thought this shit was done like, five times now man. i'm not forcing some never-say-shit-again restriction on you like you tried to negotiate with me. this is for your own sake man. your beef can just be your beef, and trying to make it everybody's problem all the time is going to ruin your life

tl;dr: if you actually listened to yourself the first time you said you were done talking about me ever, literally none of this would have happened. i'm tired as hell man, so are the people i know, so are some people we both know, and as much as i've put my energy in to have fun with it at the end of the day you are doing this shit to yourself

if i had slightly more energy this is where i would catalogue every time you've said you're done talking about me or this doesn't matter or is stupid actually with a "guy who is still posting about it" counter

[firecrackerhh]

Yknow I don’t think Squid is nearly a good a person as they pretend to be and the :) isn’t helping.

The :) is so passive aggressive like bitch fuck off.

“Ha ha look at this person in clear emotional distress isn’t that funny???” Go fuck your self.

Like I get Stolas isn’t a real person but I think getting some sick sense of schadenfreude over his suffering when, let’s be real, if you were in his shoes you’d be a fucking wreck too, is kinda shitty.

It’s true that his privilege prevented him from truly understanding the lower class and whatnot, but he was never CRUEL, at worst he was like, condescending, but Christ, that’s fucking TAME in comparison to how the other upper crust treats imps.

Like listen, I get schadenfreude myself when I see people get their just desserts, but considering that Stolas isn’t a shitty person (no matter how much this POS claims otherwise) and all he’s ever done is sacrifice himself for others fucking constantly all of his life, I don’t know where such a feeling comes from in this situation.

The man literally lost everything he ever knew and you think seeing him in complete misery is fucking funny. Does it ever occur to people like this that if they were lucky enough to grow up in wealth they also would not be fucking coping well in his situation?

Stolas has never had to deal with shit cuz his privilege prevented him from having to. If you lose that cushion, and you don’t have proper coping strategies, of course you’re going to be a wreck!

This is just more proof to me that empathy is something that can be discarded at your discretion and just cuz you supposedly have it doesn’t mean Jack shit.

I don’t like sounding like I’m defending rich people here but I dunno, I think I’m being pretty fucking reasonable.

Honestly, considering it’s quite clear to me that Stolas is neurodivergent I think actively enjoying his misery to this extent is evidence of actual ableism on Squid’s part and they should know better./hj

[qqchurch]

against my better judgement, I got into reading the entirety of what's translated for I Got Killed By My Classmates And Became God's Gofer, or what would better be known as Passive-Aggressive: The Revengeance

I actually read the first few chapters long ago when the translation was just starting out, but my eyes kind of glazed over the execution of what's written

Getting back to it now, with around 8 times the chapters it had back then, it kind of got even worse

The gist of it is this:

We have the typical mob protagonist get swept up with his entire classroom (25 people in all) in a Hero Summoning. He finds out that he has a Contract skill and takes the initiative to bind the entire kingdom that summoned them into treating his classmates humanely and without hostility. Unfortunately, this largely backfires on him as him stepping up upset the social heirarchy in the class and he becomes a target to escalating abuse by his classmates (with secret assistance by the kingdom wriggling around the contract)

Things come to a head when the MC's personal maid is found raped and killed and he takes the fall because everyone else has been manipulated into thinking he used his Contract skill on her. By this point, he's sick of this shit and knew that he was going to be killed, so he let's himself die against the Hero of the class while knowing that the Contract on the kingdom will be broken and that the rest of his class will be put into slavery. That's the entirety of his "revenge".

The genderbender part comes in when capital G God scoops up his fading soul and tells him that he's gonna revive him into a demigod if he does a few errands for him, with some nudging to let him know that personally seeing the results of his vengeance would be better than just fading away. And so the MC is respawned as Finis the Demigod with the entire powerset of her former classmates, with the mission from God to free the major spirits before the world ends in 50 years

There's a few bits of dysphoria when the MC transforms to her old body, but it's kind of few and far in between, and any references to the state of her body is basically nonexistent since being a demigod just makes any human function an option. This probably would work out more as a manga since we can always see her, but it's a first person story with a deadpan/apathetic protag

The only outbursts of emotions we'll really see is when she's facing her old classmates that she's labeled as her targets, but that's largely sadism and schadenfreude on her part

The biggest flub I can say about this entire thing is the focus on the MC saying that experiencing death is the ultimate suffering compared to anything else, when there's PoV chapters of the former classmates experiencing constant severe physical abuse, dehumanization, soul-rending experiments, and even rape

(this doesn't even include the favorite trope that gets shoved in european ambience isekai: Slavery. the MC genuinely doesn't care and even buys one of her former classmates just to twist the knife on her even further before leaving her to die in a forest full of monsters)

Speaking of perspectives, a full third of the current release is just multiple chapter interludes of a single classmate recounting the entire beginning arc, up until they realize they Fucked Up by getting the MC killed, and then it's a montage of them suffering as the kingdom's weapon of war

There doesn't seem to be anything going with the MC's story that would be any much of a twist since she's already all-powerful. It's just gonna be go to a country -> fuck around for a bit while worldbuilding -> release the spirit -> repeat. It honestly would've been better if the MC just peaced out when she died and just have the rest of the story be about the classmates left behind, either the ones suffering or the ones that left the moment the MC died

All in all:

Genderbending: Not even a factor, little to no exploration

Main Plot: bland worldbuilding interspersed with frankly sadistic PoV scenes

[libertineangel]

Honestly at this point I can barely even feel any schadenfreude over the latest terrible Star Wars product, it just makes me sad to see what Disney have done to a venerable franchise and my oldest special interest

Like yeah there was some crap in the old EU but you had to dig for it, not least because there wasn't a constant deluge of new releases getting shoved in everyone's faces

I miss when Star Wars was special, when a major release was rare, it was an event, I genuinely hate that it's become part of the same perpetual Content treadmill as everything else now because that takes all the fun out of it, kills anticipation and reduces it to background noise, like yeah we're all looking forward to Andor but in the meantime there's a bunch of other shit to either ignore or be vaguely disappointed by

[system-of-a-feather]

The parent that turned my did into pdid is showing signs of dementia & is in denial. She failed her memory test at the doctors & it’s only getting worse. Its funny, I spent a lot of my childhood being ridiculed by her for symptoms of my DID & now she will likely have some of my formative experiences in her last days: not knowing where she is, confusing reality, etc etc. This is the kind of woman to laugh at panic attacks. my siblings are making themselves scarce before it gets worse.

It feels like poetic justice, but I see a train wreck waiting to happen. She’s POA for my other older relatives. My question to you is if you’d try to help this person if you were in my shoes. Part of me wants to do a family intervention. Part of me wants to watch her to crash & burn.

The irony is that if she had shown me that grace & empathy as a child, this wouldn’t even be a problem. But she set up this toxic dynamic in the family and so she feels the need to double down & pretend it’s not happening. And now it’s gonna bite her in the ass.

Would you stage an intervention now to head this off with senior planning or let the chips fall where they may?

Honestly? I don't really have a "I would do this" sort of response to this. Even putting aside how I don't really have the full picture, context, history, etc to navigate the nuance of the situation, I honestly just don't think this is really something where there is a clear answer and it's really one of those things that you have to kind of just come to the conclusion on what will sit right with you. Whatever path and direction you go, I honestly wouldn't blame you or judge you in anyways tbh.

Personally though, I generally default to neutral or slightly positive non-engagement. If there is a situation I'm torn on, have mixed feelings over, or find myself largely emotionally charge (especially if its simultaneously in opposing directions), I tend to default to respectfully doing the minimum necessary to keep issues from arising due to the lack of action (or sudden decrease in action) and typically continue whatever baseline I have been doing.

That tends to allow me to postpone any significant decision long enough for me to 1) sort out how I feel a little more clearly 2) see how things progress with me doing little to nothing different than what I'm currently doing and to see if that works for me and 3) removes a sense of time pressure and a sense of responsibility over others that is either not possible or not necessarily sustainable for me to take on

I understand the irony and schadenfreude of the situation, cause honestly, I do get how its kinda funny and there's a sense of karma at the whole situation. But in my experience, chasing that schadenfreude / sense of revenge often kind of kept me in a space of trauma and hurt and honestly kept me from exploring and experiencing opportunities in life that were better and/or possibly better spent elsewhere.

That isn't to say that you have to forgive, or that you have to care for her either. People tend to put revenge and forgiveness as a black and white binary, but honestly, you can not-forgive but also choose to not put yourself in a mental space centered on trauma and past hurt by also choosing to not seek revenge.

If you don't feel like she has earned / deserves care that she didn't give you, you aren't obliged to give it to her. It's not your responsibility and I wouldn't blame you if you took that approach. It's your right to go and live on your life apart from negative influences in your life and if she was and is currently a negative influence on your life, I don't think you are a bad person for just walking away from it.

But if that's the case, I'd also just check in with yourself and just make sure that - with the situation regarding the POA and all for other relatives - you are okay with the potential risks that might pose for any relatives you might like and make sure to weigh your care for those individuals against your lack of interest in helping address the situation.

If you do step in, make sure you know what and why you are choosing to step in and stage an intervention. Know what matters to you and what is at the core of your actions and just try to keep that in mind when you decide to step in as it can probably help in persisting when it might not feel like something you want to do.

At the end of the day, its one of those situations where you just kind of have to find where you draw the line and if you feel she deserves that act from you. Do what works best for you both now / in the present and with what you feel will genuinely make you feel the best in the long long run.

Either way, I've done and been on both sides of the coin with similar situations - particularly with my dad - and I honestly get both perspectives.

It's a non-answer, but I hope it helped you nonetheless.

[ifuckingloveryoshu]

...i have been tormenting myself for almost a year with thoughts regarding ANYTHING to do with ryōshū and her daughter yuzuki but the worst (saddest?) theory i have by far is this one:

yuzuki got turned into an abnormality as a means of punishing her mom (the ONLY basis for this is ryōshū's 4th match flame e.g.o. being a possible reference to yuzuki's fate in the source material, as well as what i remember from the original "hell screen" short story). and...

uh. you know how if you bring n corp. sinclair to kromer's fight she staggers immediately? well, if we have to fight abno!yuzuki in game and you bring any ryōshū identity with you she immediately staggers and calls out for her mama.

Hello anon, thank you for sending this in! I do not and will not follow this theory as a concrete concept but I am interested and would like to hear more in the future if you ever think up more and feel comfortable sharing. If you want some more bits of evideince to back you, I guess vaugly Ryoshu having the most Lobotomy EGO. It is a little sad to think of an abno!yuzuki staggering. Actually, under the cut are some spoilers for Leviathan but it could potentially make your theory a littlle more heartbreaking? Maybe. It's also just assorted thoughts and rambling mindlessly. Thank you again and I hope at least these give you some food for thought.

Leviathan has another Schadenfreude that Virgilius stares down. We don't know why it's there but it means there can be two of the same abnormality in exsistence, potentially. What if when they injected Yuzuki with Cogito to make her the abnormality (I have no idea how they got their hands on Cogito without The Bucket, OK SO IVE BEEN GOING ON THINKING EACH INDIVIDUAL BUCKET WAS A GOLDEN BOUGH full of cogito but dont quote me on that, I am not sure anymore.)

Anway, they inject Yuzuki with Cogito and she becomes either Scorched Girl or an abberation of her. I say this because the abnormality log reads, "The charred body represents the child's crumbled hope, while the ever blazing flame represents the obsession for affection. It's always in conflict with the contradiction between these two.”  In my eyes, this would make for a pretty nice foil for Ryoshu who possibly betrayed that love to make her art. Forth Match Flame lobotomy ego special information says "the light of the match will not go out until it has burned away happiness, warmth, light, and all other good things of the world" What does that sound like? Hell. That sounds like hell, at least to me.

I always blorbify Yuzuki but with project moon, you never know. I always get attached to the characters who are red flags in the sense they will die at the end of the story. Ryoshu is always in groups of people, organizations, but always a loner. It's really interesting of her.

I have my own theory that after what happens in Levithan, the Pointilist syndicate gets kicked out of The Ring. Then, they ramp up their research on mirror technology and things relating to the old L corp (and then maybe they were picked up by Hermens group.) Not a lot of evideince for this one and honestly im not in the mood to type more. Just a throwaway line that their not part of the ring anymore i remember.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KENDRICK LAMAR - "NOT LIKE US"

From “fucking Drake” to “fuck you, Drake”…

[6.73]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Meet the Grahams" was more vicious, but this has schadenfreude off the charts: one-upping "Family Matters" with something even more engineered as a crossover bop and succeeding at that crossover, thus depriving Drake of his one argument in the court of public opinion; the simultaneous coinage of many new memes dunking on Fucking Drake; the various streams of Drake stans squirming in anguish trying to suppress the urge to dance; clubs playing it almost immediately; the NBA playoff broadcasters adding it to rotation almost immediately (especially considering OKC is in them); the sheer fact that there is an enormously popular track that calls Drake a predator for his publicly predatory behavior. [10]

Will Adams: i ain't reading all that. i'm happy for u tho. or sorry that happened. [3]

Alex Clifton: “Meet the Grahams” was one of the darkest songs I have ever heard and took the Kendrick-Drake beef to an entirely new level. But while “Meet the Grahams” has more damning accusations, “Not Like Us” acts as a real sucker punch because it’s so catchy and funny. Why not beat Drake at his own game by rapping about how he sucks over a dance beat? A jab about Drake’s predilection for younger girls turned into the most quotable line of the summer—honestly a genius move. People will be yelling “it’s probably A minorrrrrrrrrrr” whenever it comes up. The rest is fun, too; the colonizer line in particular makes me snicker. The fact that it was written so quickly with such smart lyrics leaves me in awe. Do I feel good about watching all this unfold? Not exactly; if any of the accusations these men hurl at one another end up being true, I don’t think anyone “wins.” But I am a messy bitch who loves drama, and this is drama to the highest fucking degree. If it sounds this good, all the better.  [7]

Nortey Dowuona: The most seething, unflattering portrait of a theater kid raging that their talent and charm has not gained them the unflinching loyalty of their audience (and by extension their partner), and we will either have to hastily disavow this in four months/four years/tomorrow. That said, incredible, so full points! [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: All moral and ethical concerns aside, I celebrate this as the triumphant return of the most notable figure in West Coast rap over the past decade: DJ Mustard! And thank god for it, too — before this, the aftershocks of "Like That" were mostly caught up in boring video essay-type beats (Jack Antonoff was involved) that existed merely so that these guys didn't have to just do spoken-word poetry. (I refrain here from talking too much about "BBL Drizzy," maybe the most interesting work in all of this scuffling.) It's not just that this is a fun beat; it's a beat composed with such obvious glee that it forced Kendrick into doing his best Drakeo (RIP) impression, taunting and generating quotables like he'll never need to rap again. Even when he comes back to his senses and executes a rigorous and serious cultural critique of Drake's extractive practices with regard to the Atlanta rap ecosystem, he gets some good jokes in – if some told me that 2 Chainz had LIED when he said I was good, I would retire immediately. [8]

Jackie Powell: I compare this titular moment in music, the now very public feud between Kendrick Lamar and Drake, to a sports rivalry I follow quite closely. Kelsey Plum of the Las Vegas Aces told reporters during the 2023 WNBA Finals that her rival team, the New York Liberty, didn’t really “care about each other” in tough moments as teammates. She compared them to her Aces, a group of players who show on the internet and on television how close they are. In other words: For Plum, they (the Liberty) aren’t like us (her Aces). This rivalry was built from a couple of ideas: 1) these are the two teams with the most talent in the league, and 2) rivalries are hot-button stories that elevate and bring more eyes to the product. That second idea is where I land when it comes to our hip-hop feud at hand -- and hey, the WNBA is super in style now, so hip-hop should be honored that I’m making this comparison. Reanna Cruz remarked on "Switched On Pop" that this beef is “getting played up to get people to pay attention to rap music again.” She’s not wrong. A huge difference between these two conflicts, of course, is that Drake and Kendrick Lamar are taking cheap shots at each other that make the trauma and pain of many women public. This beef is becoming too personal, rather than just a promotional catalyst for the genre. The synth strings that accompany Lamar’s flow do make this a worthwhile listen without soaking in the numerous disses on the track, and I always enjoy when Lamar adds jazz elements. But the compelling and catchy arrangement aside, I was disappointed in the hook. Saying someone isn’t up to par is a weighted statement, and repeating the title of the track six times isn’t an innovative way to hammer that point home.  [5]

Alfred Soto: I acknowledge the anguish of many writers deploring the unfounded accusations here and in "Meet the Grahams." Exploiting the misery of the victims for the sake of a diss track is gross. Maybe Nas vs. Jay-Z spats no longer suit our times -- I grew up with them and loved them. But I'd be lying if I denied the motherfuckin' catchiness of Mustard-on-the-beat and Kendrick Lamar's arsenal of whines, repetitions, and biographical data. I also remember: art and journalism intersect but have divergent responsibilities.  [8]

Julian Axelrod: If there are any winners in the great Graham-Lamar Beef of 2024, it's the cadre of Genius-pilled rap fans who scour over every stray Kendrick line like it's holy scripture, teasing out assumed allusions and nebulous entendres. Now Kendrick's footnoting with purpose, each toss-away reference loaded with subtext about Drake's personal (and potentially criminal) misdoings. But the most shocking thing Kendrick did -- the thing that probably made Drake madder than any other slight in this saga -- was make a good old fashioned rap radio banger, the kind he hasn't attempted since SZA dropped Ctrl. And even more thrillingly, it's an obsessively reverent LA rap resurrection that nobody does better than Kendrick at his loosest and best, alternating between Drakeo yammers and E-40 yowls over a Mustard beat that sounds like congested traffic on a hot day. (What's crazier, the fact that two of Kendrick's diss tracks are produced by Mustard and Jack Antonoff? Or the fact that the likely chart-topper is produced by one Dijon McFarlane?) If anything, the diss/bop duality is a disadvantage; there's too much weight for the song to feel truly breezy, and it's hard to turn up to direct accusations of sex trafficking and pedophilia. But casual menace is the defining trait of a West Coast diss track, and it's satisfying to hear Kendrick returning to his home turf.  [7]

Hannah Jocelyn: I've seen criticisms for the mix, and anyone who's followed my blurbs during my eight years (!) writing for TSJ knows I'm all for that; believe me when I say that for once, it actually is nitpicking. All that matters for a song like this is that the vocals are intelligible but not too far above the beat. And these vocals are very intelligible, with every syllable as enunciated as Pusha T's "you are HIDING a CHILD" for three minutes straight. The verse calling Drake out for his genre-hopping is as insightful and intense as anything Kendrick’s ever written. But this is obviously most famous for the "A minorrrrr" joke, mocking both Drake's "Dave Freeeeeee" delivery on "Family Matters" and Nicki Minaj's eccentric drawn-out deliveries. (Never mind that the line isn't that strong -- it's the same pun Bo Burnham used over a decade ago.) Even as things get dark, it's an incredibly fun listen; I enjoyed the showmanship of the beef, culminating in Kendrick beating his sworn enemy at his own game. But everyone who hates what it's become is right. Do we really want jokes about these topics? If any of it is true, does that even change anything? Drake's not too famous to get caught, despite what he said; he's just too famous to face any meaningful consequences. The humiliation in "Not Like Us" might be the best we can do about alleged predators on this scale, in place of anything resembling justice. [7]

Oliver Maier: It should be valid -- encouraged, even -- to admit that Kendrick Lamar is at his most annoying when he makes chart music. We are all losers in this godforsaken beef. [2]

Taylor Alatorre: It doesn't live up to the promise contained in that heart-resuscitating DJ Mustard tag, but I don't know if any song could. The song that could live up to that DJ Mustard tag exists only in the realm of pure forms, alongside the band that could live up to the name Libertines and the album that could live up to the title ARTPOP. The actually existing "Not Like Us" lives down here in the muck with us fallen people, in a place of impermanence and unsettledness and compromise. A place where productive collaborations from a decade ago can be recast as colonial thievery in an instant; where populist pandering comes in the strategic use of the words "pedophiles" and "minor"; where sex offender registries are of dubious criminological impact; where my YouTube homepage just looks like this now; where apps are now battlefields and "post-truth" is a casus belli; where the bloodied gears of History churn on in the background, or foreground; where the Macklemore apology form exists; where in some arcane yet deeply intuitive way this all prefigures another Trump electoral victory. And yet, for all of Kendrick’s “me against the industry” posturing, only by climbing on the shoulders of its fraught context is “Not Like Us” able to claw its way into the halls of pop immortality. From "euphoria" onward, this has been the diss track as alternate reality game, roping in everyone from confused Chinese restaurant patrons to the luminaries named in Kendrick's Real Atlanta Roll Call. We bob our heads to the lines about statutory offenses not because the bars are the hardest-hitting ever, or because we particularly care about the legal fate of Baka Not Nice, but because we imagine the thousands of other people bobbing their heads at that exact moment, astounded that (or wondering whether) we're allowed to do so. Because the floodgates have been opened, Carnival is upon us, and for a few charged weeks even a beat that Stay Dangerous-era YG would have left alone can become a defining document of its time. Monoculture status: alive, in Serbia.  [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]