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bmbidoll · 27 days ago

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𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫

soloist!baekhyun x f!reader

synopsis: baekhyun had his four year girlfriend break up with him, which left him without a true sense of direction. he'd only find it when another woman led the way, he just didn't know it was straight to hell.

content: 4,8k words, smut with a sprinkle of fluff, angst, and a little horror. but basically pwp. based on this moodboard.

author's notes: helloooo! this is my first fanfic posted on tumblr, I do hope you enjoy it!! the only thing I'll request is patience since I'm a fairly new writer ♡

250124 update: i have a new fic that i'd love if you checked it out, thank you for your support!! see you there! SPORTSCAR

most if not all of my content will be gravitated towards mature audiences, so minors are a no no! please have an age indicator when you interact!! thank you, and enjoy your reading!!!

warnings: dom and sub undertones leaning (barely) towards femdom, hooking up, marking, power play, mutual pining, oral sex m!receiving, cumplay, hair pulling, choking, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, pet names, slight degradation, creampie, oral fixation, brief mention of violence.

baekhyun, at thirty years old, was used to being in control — except for when he wasn't.

his 4 year girlfriend and future bride left him and his sense of control momentarily shattered, breaking up with him after weeks of continuous misunderstandings, lashing out in a final ultimatum of separation, destroying his engagement plans. still, he was above feelings when his career was at play, and although being in events on his own made him feel out of place, he needed to distract himself.

at least he thought he could.

the party in itself was a blur, and baekhyun couldn't even bother to decipher what sizzling drink was in his hand when he traded pleasantries with random people. meaningless exchanges in his view. it did mostly nothing to sooth his emotional numbness, making him stand in a corner with an anxious frown, not even his new hairstyle did much to make him feel better. he'd much rather mope at home or in a presence of a friend who actually gave a shit about him. that's when baekhyun felt your gaze.

it was like thermal shock, an extreme shiver that made his whole body alert and his hair stand. a gnawing feeling that caught to his heart like a deer in headlights, which made him look around in discreet fright, looking for what, or more so who, was watching him. it felt supernatural, like he could feel an invisible target being put on his back. his pulse rose and his stomach felt bothered in a grip of anxiousness, yet it was even more unexplainable when he found the source.

it couldn't be you, his mind didn't accept it. how could someone with such soft features and bright eyes be the owner of a gaze akin to danger? when you smiled, talking to someone next to you, he thought it was just his mind tricking him, that such feeling couldn't come from you.

but when your eyes found his again, his pupils dilated at the force of your dark dominance. you finally stood, drink in hand, as you looked away in a playful, almost mocking grin when baekhyun took your frame in. you were tall, ever more so in your louboutins. your draped, off the shoulder dress did much too little to cover your long legs, almost like a bodysuit. your arms were surrounded by viscose panels that went as long as over your thighs, and baekhyun almost couldn't quite catch you leaving the main area, too focused on your curves before you crossed a pillar.

he meakly cleared his throat, standing straight from the corner he was leaning, in order to shy away from attention, to go after you. baekhyun didn't know the reason, but for all he cared, he didn't need one. too sick of this party from the moment he arrived. he wanted something — anything, really, to take his bothered mind away from her. away from his mistakes, from what he mistook his ex partener to be. yet it was obvious you weren't anything like her, and maybe it was just what he needed.

he followed you discreetly, going through the endless hallways and stairways of the luxurious venue with his eyes focused on your shadow in the red lights. it made the darkness feel almost demonic, in a way, like you were taking him to hell. something that baekhyun, at this point, wouldn't even mind.

until you weren't ahead of him anymore, disappearing from his sight. he cursed for his lack of awareness, before a dark, womanly voice appeared from behind him.

"are you looking for something, baekhyun?" the voice spoke, laced with wickedness.

his jaw clenched and his eyes widened as he turned around to face you with shocked irritation.

"what the fuck... where did you—" you didn't let him finish, "you were following me." you said, smirking knowingly, tilting your head in an almost condescending look.

one could already see a glint of defensiveness displayed on baekhyun's dark eyes. "you were staring at me." he spoke lowly, feigning angerness to mask his rapid heart that was much too frightened over your presence for his liking. "what do you want...?" he added, fighting for composure.

even the mere sound of your voice could make his hands get clammy in anticipation. it scared him.

you could only hold your grin. "I don't think it's me who wants anything..." your eyes darting in assessment of his black suit. "at least, not that much to follow you around like a stalker."

the singer only bristled, not entirely buying your excuse, wary as much as he was attracted to your womanliness. and, to his irritation, you didn't stand on the same spot for too long, walking away slowly around the halls. he picked up his steps to walk beside you with a dry swallow, his eyes shooting daggers as much as they felt intrigued.

"who are you and what do you want with me?" he bristled, demanding in something one could sense as eagerness, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"I'm not looking for trouble, byun baekhyun." you said, almost making him lose his composure again at the usage of his full name. he gulped, trying not to stare at her as they crossed past the venue's hotel rooms, vacant in expense of the important events. "but you must be looking for something, I saw the way you stared at me." his voice was accusing, almost cocky in a way that served as bait.

"and how did I stare at you, stalker?" you finally faced him beside you, quite sick of his questions.

"I'm not a stalk—" he huffed as you interrupted him to push him to a wall.

baekhyun widened his eyes at realization of your position, and he had to admit, it was a first. not only because of your roughness, but also because of the power play, where he usually had the upper hand. he had to swallow in order to not appear fazed, although your supernatural attractiveness made it difficult to not subdue.

"what do you want, baekhyun?" you said, highlighting the 'you' with the raise of your chin as you crossed his personal space slowly, your gaze fervently acknowledging his, whom didn't know where to stare back, jumping between your eyes and your red lips. one of your hands stayed on his firm chest as the other stayed beside his hip, your wrist in close contact to his side.

"fuck— I..." he stuttered, clearly not used to being in this spot, making you smile again.

"you're so cute when you stutter." you said lowly. "let's change the question, shall we? Is there anything I can do for you?"

baekhyun clenched his jaw as he shut his eyes, the image that you painted on the impulsive side of his mind quite clear on his lids, while his rational side thought of his recent heartache. "I don't know... I don't really know anything about you." he said, worrying about where he got himself into. he wasn't one for impulsive decisions, and he was quite proud of it. it's just that with the tugging feeling on his chest, he felt even more torn.

"you don't have to. it's clear you don't really want to get to know anyone right now." you replied, as if reading his mind.

and you were right. there wasn't anything clear on his mind about his life after his failed relationship. his only certainties laid on his work, and his eyebags showed he could use something different. someone different.

"I-I don't think I should—" baekhyun was shushed before he could finish, feeling his guard completely mush while you cooed and whispered 'its okay's, leaning closer to his face. his eyes finally opened again, turning droopy and his eyebrows raised gently, like a puppy.

you grabbed his hand and slowly motioned it to your face, his mole trembling with his lips that quivered in an obvious encantation. "see? I'm real..." you whispered knowingly as his unfocused dark eyes rushed through your supernatural face, pleading. "and I could give you something to sooth your body." your cheek was incredibly warm against his usually cold hands, making him flutter his lids with darker pupils. as his resolve was completely crumpled like humid paper.

"can I have you...?" baekhyun whispered, almost unsure of his wish and of how much power he actually had in this quiet altercation of control.

"the question, baekhyun," you started, your voice smooth and clear as his appearance made you curl your lips slightly. "is whether or not I want to have you."

"and do you?" he asked instantly, almost blushing in his eagerness as he frowned in confusion, pouting. one could almost fall for his innocent face, but something in you knew better, already expecting his switch as he cleared his throat. his eyes turned into a more controlled version of his drive as he darkened his tone with ease.

capturing your waist with a firm grip, he whispered in your ear with his known velvet voice, "I will make you want me, angel." but you were no angel. not at all. and baekhyun probably knew that when he smelled your perfume, sending shivers through your body as he breathed onto your neck. "fuck, you smell like dessert."

you could only exhale, biting your own lip to contain the curl of your smirk as you felt his lust emanating from him. just from his presence alone. with calculated composure, you removed his hand from your waist to sway back into the crimson darkness, opening one of the unused bedrooms of the expensive hotel that was used as a venue, sneaking under his gaze.

baekhyun had to gulp to not simply barge in and press you against the door, knowing it wouldn't work quite like that with a woman like you. his expensive saint laurent dress shoes clicked as he walked into your planned out trap, one he was glad to be caught.

you pushed your hand through his curly, black strands from his perm as he stood in front of you. "i want you..." he whispered, closing his eyes again in goosebumps of your long nails grazing his scalp. gently walking him backward to the bed, you made him sit, his legs spreading to receive your presence between them with ease. your hands controlling his head as it tilted against your control.

"strip for me." you commanded, making him open his darkened eyes in surprise.

"what...?" baekhyun smiled nervously, sensing no kidding from you when he looked up to your unamused expression. "that's not how this... usually works, angel..."

you could only scoff at the nickname, almost rolling your eyes in amusement before resuming your imposing stare. "and am I your usual?"

that seemed to shut him up for a second, his eyes turning shy as he gulped, already expressing his answer.

"here's how this is going to work, byun baekhyun." your voice said as your hand traversed through his hair, lowering to his cheek. "if you want me, you're going to have to play by my rules. otherwise, I can simply walk out of this room and pretend I haven't even met you. and trust me," you leaned to his ear, "I can do a damn good job at finding someone who will play by my rules and be grateful to do it." punctuating your whispered with a lick behind the cartilage.

baekhyun only sighed, able to catch a glimpse of the roundness of your ass as you were leaning forward, which made his urge to assert control dim, too desperate in his lust to refuse such deal. in all honesty, he hasn't gotten any action for a whole month since his relationship soured.

"so I'll only say this one more time, baekhyun. strip for me." you commanded, standing straight once again to see him display a silent nod, removing his expensive suit jacket to reveal his panelled tank top that followed suit, his slim abdomen clenching at the cold air.

you didn't give him much time to think about his pants, kissing him for the first time that night in a mix of patience and softness. it made him push his head upward in demand, flicking his tongue against your closed, plush lips. baekhyun was briefly shushed, whining beautifully as you pulled his hair from his nape. "be patient, I want you to remember everything I give you tonight." your voice said as you lowered your body between his legs, meeting his needy looks with a small grin.

he breathed ragged, quiet gasps in a disheveled manner, as if trying not to assert his way too soon. "you're taking your sweet ass time... I don't have that."

"make time. you already look desperate for this, when I haven't even kissed you properly, dog." you said, imposing again, making him widen his eyes when you tugged his matching black pants with roughness and didn't even bother to glance at the small damp spot on his briefs, immediately using your palm to coax grunts and curses from him. "what is it, hm? you like being called a dog?" your smooth voice teased with a hint of a grin, as your fingers enclosed on his clothed, girthy, angry length that was close to peek around the waistband of his boxers, that aren't able to cover its size in its full hardness.

you want to stare and admire all the veins that coursed through it, feeling your own heat act up from how much you could get enamored to such a perfect manhood, but you wouldn't give him the pleasure of knowing these thoughts. he whined again when you squeezed the tip, coaxing more precome to stain the fabric of his boxers.

"is this for me, baekhyunie?" you teased, biting off your grin as you looked up to his face to see him huffing, his hips thrusting onto your hand for even the slightest friction. due to not getting a response, you squeezed harder, making him tremble in a grunt. "I'm talking to you, dog. I expect responses."

baekhyun whined, "fuck— yes! that's all for you, angel! god— please! just touch me more!" he panted, making you sizzle in satisfaction as you pressed your thighs together.

standing up to lean forward, you kept your hand on his already throbbing bulge. "you're such a good boy for me. can you raise your hips for me? let's free your cock, shall we?" you smiled devilishly as you stared at his unfocused expression of lip bites and moans.

baekhyun promptly obliged, gasping as his aching need sprung and hit his stomach. you could feel saliva pooling under your tongue from just how sinful his everything was. the tip was red and slightly darker than the rest of his length, covered in precome that oozed easily at each of its pulse, dripping with a slight curve to the left.

your hand was quick to work him with awe, your thumb meeting your middle finger in its base before moving up and finding its slit, smearing it slowly all over your palm. he couldn't really keep quiet, thrusting upwards, making a mess of both himself and your hand. so your left one found his throat and slightly choked him to stop his erratic movements, earning another set of his wide eyes, as he stuck his tongue out to breathe properly around your grip on both his neck, and cock. "what the fuck— angel, please!" baekhyun murmured, strained.

you only extended your smeared palm to his face with calm eyes, even if your aching center was anything but calm. he seemed to catch on your wish, and although he wanted to argue and retain dignity, he already had his tongue lapping onto your right hand, attempting to clean the mess he did. it was something unusual for him. everything about this was, actually. he swallowed his own precome, feeling exhilarated from how much he actually enjoyed it. so you rewarded him with your weight on his lap, therefore he could watch you suck your own thumb to taste him, and then crash both your lips together in a messy, arguably desperate, tongue kiss.

your clothed center found his bare one as you kissed, making him tug the sides of your dress up. he wanted you naked and around him as soon as humanly possible, but you couldn't just give him what you both wanted, even if you also wanted it badly.

you pushed him to the bed, making his back hit the mattress with an audible puff from his lungs, attacking him with wet kisses that started on his neck. he didn't know where to put his hands, and his putty brain didn't even have the composure to reject your open marks around his adam's apple, moaning softly at your full-on bites.

he loved the roughness. the attention just enough to make him squirm as it trailed down towards his pale collarbone, his nipple, his soft abdomen, and finally, his inner thigh. you grabbed his wrists and held them together in one hand, forcefully holding him, so that you maintained control even when your mouth found the head of his cock, making him moan louder. "fuck! what the fuck!? angel?!" he panted, physically trembling when you sucked his seeping from the tip.

you took your time, looking up to his face before withdrawing your mouth to speak. "listen here. no hands on my head, no thrusting upwards, and eyes on me. do you understand, dog?"

"yes, yes ma'am— holy—" baekhyun gasped in interruption as your flattened tongue enveloped the underside of him, making him sputter gibberish as you slowly took his cock, inch by inch. you'd comment on the name he used, but chose to allow it.

you had to close your eyes for a brief moment, even if you didn't want to, to just feel how much baekhyun filled your mouth and how much you actually enjoyed it. it almost hit the back of your throat, slightly straining your jaw. your closed eyes opened to his, almost pained, lustful, fucked out expression. his lips were red and swollen from his biting. his whole face was flushed, his temples had droplets of sweat and his perm hair was all over the place.

if you didn't already want to suck him off just for your own pleasure, you certainly wanted it for his, already starting in a somewhat quick pace to ease both of your flaming desperateness with quick bobs, fighting the reflex to gag as you relished in the feeling and breathed through your nose.

baekhyun, on the other end, fought the urge to roll his eyes, finally receiving too much stimulation that was already denied. frying his thoughts that could only sputter 'angel', like a prayer. but the battle was lost when your nails scratched his abs, making him ready to coum. "fuck! I'll c-come! I'll come in your—" you withdrew suddenly, essentially denying his high, making him almost cry. you could only smile breathlessly as you stood up, your hands working on the zipper of your dress.

"I'm sorry, puppy... I'm so sorry. you were so good... I'll make it better, hm?" you said after dropping both your dress and panties, straddling his messed up self.

"I really—" baekhyun panted soft whines, "wanna... cuss the shit out of you... right now." making you chuckle in adoration.

"i'll reward you, okay?" you put his hands on your rear, where he squeezed roughly. "have it your way, hm?" you murmured, making him essentially grunt.

"are you sure...?" baekhyun breathlessly asked, reeling from the edge. you smiled, wanting to take care of him.

"yes, touch me," you said, guiding his hand to your already slick folds, his eyes unfocused as he started feeling the warmth you radiated. it took mere milliseconds for baekhyun to find your clit, his thumb feeling the way it swelled in anticipation, making you moan.

"fuck... you're drenched..." he murmured, rubbing your center in a tantalizing manner. "do you enjoy treating me like your plaything? did it make you this wet for me?"

"shut up and touch me already!" you whined, slightly flush, receiving two digits all at once as he chuckled. "so feisty, angel..."

it was hard not to clench all over his long fingers that searched desperately for your spot, your body already moving along his wrist, moaning as he curled them inside of you. baekhyun grunted at the tight grip you held on him, biting his lower lip to contain his wish to just mess you up. "so damn tight... I can't wait to feel you..."

it was like that for a few minutes before you decided you had enough, not wanting to come before you felt his full length inside of you. you positioned on top of him, making him shudder as you sucked on his fingers diligently, making him moan.

"fuck, angel..." baekhyun breathed when you grabbed him, finally sinking onto his thick, large cock, biting your lip to conceal your moans as both of you saw stars. him, from the orgasm denial. and you, from your own self torture.

"oh god— I won't last even a minute with your tightness, holy shit!" he hissed as each last bit of him settled within your walls, knocking down your composure as you hummed deliciously.

"you can move now... please..." you murmured, your eyes closed at the mere feeling of him completely inside.

"ah, so now it's 'please'?" baekhyun glared at your face being close to his before snapping his hips in a manner that hit you deeply, making you both groan.

"don't fucking... push it." you grunted, opening your eyes to match his lust. your body enveloped with his as you straddled him, already meeting his forceful thrusts.

"you're the one—" he plunged upwards, "who said... I earned it... so I'll fucking take it." baekhyun bristled, moving in a deep, slow manner.

you could almost smile blissfully at the overwhelmingly full manner he filled you, almost as if you should be the one to beg for it, the one who's lucky to have it. your hips swayed along his pace, somewhat circling his long, pulsating length. "do you like this, angel? fuck— you take it so well, princess." baekhyun breathes through grunts as his blunt nails graze your hips. "like you were made to take my cock."

"god, shut the fuck up." you growled, choking him, which somehow made him throb even more, his eyes rolling to the back at each movement, his breathing cut as he muttered.

"g-gonna—" baekhyun strained breathlessly, "come—" completely within your mercy as you moved towards his ear. "come for me, puppy."

it was in an instant, his seed shooting deep inside you, which made you release his neck in pure pleasure, moaning. you could swear you'd come just from being filled up by him, as if his own ecstasy filled you with elation.

baekhyun panted, still thrusting "ah, fuck... you're so good... too good... I usually last longer." it made you giggle slightly.

"are you tired? do you need a break?" you whispered close to his face, staring at the way he recomposed with you, but yelped as he suddenly rolled you both, still inside.

"are you fucking kidding? no way." baekhyun snapped his hips once, making his come drip on your thighs from the abbrasiveness of his still hard length within, stealing a whimper from you. "you're gonna take me till you pass out, angel."

you could barely take in on his words when you felt a subtle touch on your pussy, focusing your eyes to find his index between your faces, coated in a filthy mix of both of your milky juices. your vision turned dizzy when he licked it without hesitation, letting it sit on his tongue that was right above your mouth.

the message was clear, and you opened it to let it drip onto your tongue before you lip locked again, baekhyun resuming sharp thrusts on your loud cunt.

it felt utterly animalistic, and you could tell from his behavior that it'd been a while for him, not that baekhyun did anything to hide it when he murmured praises that swindled your ego. "feels so fucking good, angel...!" he snapped his hips in an erratic pace, "how the fuck... are you so... fucking tight and warm...?" and you could only reply with "yeah...?" to which he'd always respond readily along with a nod. you'd gently cradle his chin, but he didn't care if you marked it with your nails to keep your anchor as he'd push your right thigh to your chest, holding your leg on his shoulder with quick developed ownership.

it took another orgasm from the both of you to make him more gentle, even if it didn't truly exhaust him. both sat up to meet each other in an intimate embrace. the stickiness barely made you uncomfortable when he fit so nicely against you, his hands kneading your soft breasts with patience, now that the fire settled into a more tranquil warmth of your presence on his broken heart.

"I don't usually do this..." baekhyun murmurs amidst his gentle pace, his eyes focused on your pleased ones that blinked slowly.

"do what...?" you whispered back, trying to stay grounded from the bliss of your connection.

"hook ups... I don't really hook up with strangers... not at this age, at least..." he chuckled shyly, and it struck you harder than you'd expect.

"I don't, either." you said, surprisingly shy from your own admission, which ceased his soft thrusts for a second.

"can I take you out...? get to know you, angel?" baekhyun cradled your cheek, his thumb on your lip in a manner that didn't feel just erotic.

"baekhyun..." you'd start, only to be interrupted by a soft peck that resumed deliciously slow movements. you were someone that baekhyun could see himself growing fond of. and if you didn't know better, you could say he was growing on you, too. the kiss grew in intensity soon enough, getting to an already familiar manner in such quick velocity, both now aware of what the other liked.

your rationality would be ruined soon enough before your own fire took hold, pushing him to his back as you started to ride him slowly, his hands settling on each of your curves, the right pinching your perked nipple as the other ramped your supple rear up and down with sweet praises. "you're so fucking perfect... I've never had anyone quite like you..."

you could only moan as baekhyun flicked his skilled fingers onto your swollen bundle. "wanna make you come again... can you do this for me, angel? before I come inside of you again?" it's as if his words could take control of you, just like you did earlier to him, the coiling of your lower stomach tightening by each bounce on his girth that throbbed viciously.

baekhyun would thrust his hips upwards, but not as fiercely as before to not sore you much more, his delicateness sure to overcome all the sting of overexertion. you'd feel yourself melting when the pinch of his digits on your clit made you snap, your silent scream echoing in shallow breathing as he pumped his come within your walls for the third time that night, kissing your lips with a care you certainly didn't expect from a hook up.

you both chuckled at the way you fell on top of him, finally feeling him soften inside you amongst the large amount of release that dripped, probably staining the sheets. baekhyun pulled you to your side as he pecked your face, pushed his come back inside with his index, then shared the mess on both of your mouths.

he'd soon step out of the bed to find the suite's bathroom, stealing a towel to dampen it with warm water, returning with a shy grin.

"can you walk?" he asked after he finished cleaning your center and your thighs. you giggled softly, "you wanted me to be unable to walk?"

"not really... I mean—" baekhyun blurted nervously as you stood slowly.

"maybe if we spent a weekend together, hm? then yeah, I definitely would be unable to even stand" you teased, dressing yourself as you both prepared to leave the room you were sure you weren't supposed to be in. the thought of spending a weekend with you made his hair stand at the same time his heartbeat skipped a beat with anticipation.

"would you want to?" he murmured, blushing slightly at the rapidness of his attachment.

"wait, what? spend the weekend?" you widened your eyes as you combed your hair through your hands.

"I mean— yeah... my schedule is clear, and my penthouse is large enough for a crowd... I could try to get you in my van secretly, my driver wouldn't notice..." baekhyun was extremely cute, blabbering like that.

"okay, I'll go." you smiled softly to him, making him giddy as you both walked to the main exit stealthily, baekhyun striding ahead to get the van to a secluded spot as you watched from the shadows. it was almost like you could portray getting to know him, building a solid connection with him, and maybe fixing whatever it is that the other woman did to his poor heart.

if you hadn't picked him out to eat in the first place.

#baekhyun #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun imagine #exo #exo smut #exo imagines #exo fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #exo scenarios #is this enough tags #writings #divider by k1ssyoursister #divider by anitalenia

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thanosscross · 9 days ago

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Hello hello!! Welcome to my little meet your writer section!! 🫶🫶 I’m so excited you’re here! Welcome!

I felt like with you all being my lovelies and being so kind and amazing, you might want to get to know the writer behind some of your favorite stories of mine! 🫶💕☺️ please keep in mind this is a judgement free page, where none of it will be tolerated, unless we’re judging the man who shall not be named 🙄 so welcome! Get to know me here 🫶🫶

Hi! I’m currently 19 turning 20 this February 5th! 🫶 which I’m very excited about,

I go by she/they, really anything you’d like to call me! I’m somewhat the middle child, I have an older brother and two younger brothers, so I’m the only daughter/niece/granddaughter on my dad’s side (my dad’s only child). I grew up with somewhat of a rocky childhood so I’ve always got a soft spot for kids, I’ve become the ‘Mary Poppins’ of my family rather quickly so I’ve always got a kid on my hip, whether its my cousin, youngest brother (5&6), or my fiancée’s niece (5).

I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, I met my fiancee working at a local grocery store, She came through my check-out line, before applying a few weeks later. I ended up being the person to train her for the job position, and ever since then we hit it off, We were both in pretty toxic relationships before, so whenever we got together it was a little weird, but we quickly found a healthy groove together, and it's just been happy times ever since <3 A lot of people say it's too soon, or we're too young, but we prefer it this way, it gets all of the big stressful stuff out of the way, that way we'll have more time to focus on each other and building our family in the future <3. I was always taught that whenever you find the person you know is not only a good relationship partner but also a good business partner, you've found the one, and nothing is too fast, and I know I found my perfect partner in life <33.

I like writing a lot, I’ve been writing since I was about, 9 or 10? So almost full decade now, holy shit, I started out on wattpad, moved to writing on paper, and then eventually moved to tumblr around the time I turned 14? I like to call myself a 'detailed writer', I think of it as a writer who is more focused with writing out physical feelings and emotions. I like my stories to not only be easy to read, but I also like my stories written in a way where you can really picture or imagine the feelings behind the words, I feel like those are the best stories to read, in my opinion <33

I have five animals in total (I know! A lot!) I have three dogs, and two guinea pigs, MooMoo, Charlie, Daisy, Winnie, and Honey Bunz, who are all pain in my asses, but I wouldn't know what to do without all of them <3. For the longest time I wanted to be a lawyer, then it changed to a police officer, all because my original dream of being a firefighter was kinda taken from me whenever I was diagnosed with something that prevents me from safely working in overheated conditions. Now I'm set on writer, or just in the public eye, I don't really mind how, preferably some type of dancer (Competition teams/back-dancer/etc) Or a screen writer, I just want a position in the public eye where I'm actually heard and not just drowned out over the sounds of everybody else (Told you lovelies, rough childhood) I want my words to mean something, I want to be a voice for the people who can't find theirs yet <3

Favorites? Music wise? It's a little all over the place but my top five? (not in order) BigBang, ATEEZ, ENHYPEN, Sir-Mix-Alot, and stray kids <3 Shows? Squid game definitely, or a spin off series of the walking dead that's recently come out, The Walking Dead: The ones who live, I also watch 911, and the Rookie (I really miss being a firefighter when I had the chance). Movies? Really anything horror, I'll always be excited about a new scary movie that comes out, I've been like that since I was itty bitty though >< Jobs? I'd have to say either being a firefighter at only 16-17, or being the Easter Bunny one time at my local mall, those two were the most fun!

My style? I have three different types of styles, I either dress in Baggy Clothes (cargo pants, baggy t-shirts, my black jacket) or tight clothes (undershirts, skinny jeans, a flannel or button up, kept open, to go over it) or a mixture of both 😂 I’ve been mainly sticking with my baggier clothes lately though 🤌💕

Hmmmm...Last get to know me section..What should I put? We'll get a lil personal. I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was around 11 or 12, whenever I had something bad happen to me at 13, it just caused it to become worse, along with other diagnoses. This one is a little more recent, and I'm still a little iffy about sharing it, just because a lot of people give it a bad rep, but I was recently diagnosed Bi-Polar. It wasn't that much of a shock, almost every female in my family has it, and it made a lot of sense for some things I experienced, especially the manic part of it. I've slowly been learning just because I was raised around people who are Bi-Polar who weren't good people, doesn't mean I'm a bad person just because we share the same diagnosis. I go to the doctor, take meds, just like anybody else <3, Some of you lovelies might question why I got so personal on here about it, but for the few that have the same thoughts, know you're not alone, I'm in the same boat with you, so why not us hang out and chill while we're here <33

And without further a-do....

Hi! Lovely to see you here lovely <3 this is the face behind some of your favorite stories! 💕🥰 so glad we can finally meet!

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intrinsicepiphany · 6 months ago

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Okay Tumblr Let's chat:

I have a theory about Charlie and Vaggie's relationship status and I've been mentioning it on other peoples rambles so I figured I might as well post it myself.

Sooooo my theory is that Charlie and Vaggie cant actually officially get engaged or anything because of Charlie's status as Princess of Hell.

Now hear me out... Ready...?

In most Monarchies members of the royal family can't get engaged or married without the permission of the Ruling Monarch. This goes double for the Heir.

So Charlie is obviously Heir Apparent. She is also the 3rd strongest being in hell according to Viv's power rankings. Which makes sense being that she was literally born to rule hell (not to mention the whole Nephilim thing)

The Goetia have been shown to be very rule and class driven. Overly structured in their hierarchy which is why Stolas was forced into an arranged marriage. In fact from the way Striker and Blitz talk the hellborns in general are very class structured in a pseudo feudal system with the goetia as local nobles, the sins as regional lords, and the Morningstars as the over all Ruling Monarchs.

With this structure that could mean that for Charlie's engagement to be formally recognized one of her parents would most likely have to formally approve of the couple which means her parents being checked out has limited her ability to progress their relationship status beyond girlfriends.

#hazbin hotel #chaggie #vaggie #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel theory

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dreamlifebunny · 2 years ago

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bunny's ✨digital detox✨ + manifestation challenge!

hi friends! i've decided to do a little "dopamine detox" so that i can become more present in my day-to-day, connect with myself and my passions, and apply the law. instead of leaving you without any posts, i thought i would turn this short absence of mine into a challenge so that you can join me if you're interested! this is going to be a very simple challenge that mostly focuses on regaining joy in your life, but i hope it can bring you inspiration and peace.

purpose of challenge: to help your brain enjoy simple things again and fill your life with more joy, to get off of social media and apply the law, and to manifest anything you desire. as you can see, this is mostly a challenge to reconnect with ourselves and what brings us joy, but manifestation is the added bonus of this challenge!

step one:

delete or hide apps on your phone or laptop that involve mindless stimulation. for me, this includes tumblr, social media, checking things that give me notifications like my email, etc. normally, tumblr wouldn't be included in this because i use it for learning about the law, but part of this challenge is about getting offline and actually applying the law, so for now i will be deleting it.

step two:

make a list of activities that bring you joy that don't involve mindless stimulation. here are some ideas of things that i like to do if you're having trouble coming up with your own list:

scripting my dream life and coming up with cute scenarios in my head

writing a letter to a friend and decorating it with my own art or stickers

reading a fiction book and getting lost in the story

reading a non-fiction book to learn things about my passions and interests

singing and playing instruments

journaling or filling out writing prompts

going for bike rides or long walks with music

playing fun video games, but not for hours on end like i normally would heh

step three:

decide what you are going to manifest and choose your favourite methods to fulfill yourself! remember, this challenge is about connecting with yourself and what you love, so pick the methods that make you smile. i really enjoy daydreaming about my desires and feeling every emotion in my body that comes up and knowing that my desire is real.

REMEMBER: this challenge is primarily about doing a digital detox to give our brains more happiness. the main goal isn't to manifest, but it is SO much easier to manifest when our brains aren't constantly stimulated and consuming information. our desires manifesting is an added bonus for this challenge!

step four:

as you engage with your life and connect with awareness (who you are at your core) and as you enjoy activities that bring you joy, remind yourself in whatever way feels best to you that you have all of your desires, and that this extra space you're giving your brain is allowing more space for your lovely desires to show up in your life

step five:

report back during the end of any three-day period from when you start this challenge with your results! results could include how you feel, what you learned about yourself, what you manifested or realized about your manifestation, how your days looked without constantly stimulation, or anything you wish to share!

important note:

detoxing from constant stimulation is a HARD THING TO DO! they design apps to make us addicted, and your need for constant stimulation is not your fault. if at any point this challenge brings up feelings of shame or struggle due to the addiction of constant stimulation, make sure you are compassionate and loving to yourself; you're doing a wonderful thing as a gift to yourself and are a good person who is doing something very tricky, and you should be proud that you are even giving it a try. you are strong and badass and deserve the world and all of your desires! if at any point you need to dip out of this challenge, make sure to pat yourself on the back and thank yourself for trying it and know that you can always do it again in the future if you want to c:

love you friends! i am so excited to see the results of this challenge. i am proud of you, i am inspired by you, and i can't wait to see you all soon! 🥰

lots of love, bunny 💕

#manifestation #law of assumption #neville goddard #loa #loassumption #void state #edward art #manifest #void #law of manifestation #manifesting #self concept #loass #bunny's originals #bunny's challenges #manifesting challenge #manifestation challenge #void challenge

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arcielee · 10 months ago

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Hey everyone, I know it's a dark time in the fandom right now and I am only going to speak on this once.

To begin: there was a period of time where I had some bigger blogs blocked due to a misunderstanding that escalated. I recently learned that both sides were being fed a villainous narrative over something that I did not do. It became this weird Us vs Them ordeal.

I tried to pull away. I blocked a lot of blogs to try and remove myself from the HotD space.

I was very heartbroken. Tumblr was my little nerdy escape that allowed me to swoon over my beloved fictional characters and find kindred spirits who shared the same sentiment. I found myself hating to check my notifications, seeing the hateful anons and DMs, and seeing my mutuals receiving the same grief for publicly engaging with me.

It was awful.

After some time, blogs began to reach out and share what had been said about me, telling me about the rumors. It gave me clarity on what had happened. I see the fierce loyalty a lot of us posses and if I had been told these same horrible things, I probably would have responded in a similar way.

I was grateful for the honesty and I hold no animosity towards anyone who believed what was said. I do not care about the cruel things spread or the name calling, I just felt relieved that I could speak my truth and slowly become part of the community that I loved. I wanted to forgive and just move forward.

Then I found out that I had been doxxed.

They found my legal name and my private IG. They shared it without my permission. I feel fortunate that this group did not do anything with the information shared, but I also do not know if it was shared outside of this chat.

Tumblr is a silly hellsite that allowed me to learn the art of a Reader inserts, to brainstorm story ideas with my mutuals, to reblog nifty gifsets and fanart. But this is something I keep separate my from actual IRL, so learning about this felt like a violation.

I know we are all hurting. The point of this post is a reminder to stay safe, to set up your two-step authenticator and to please keep yourselves protected.

Like I said: I will not speak on this again. If you stay, please know my blog is a safe place where I do not tolerate bigotry of any means.

My DMs and my anons are open, always. 💜

#hotd fandom #doxxing #this has been a psa #it is time to heal and hydrate #i love my tumblr kindred spirits #please stay safe everyone

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plurapony · 24 days ago

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Can we stop boiling down the term "chronically online" to be an insult to someone who disagrees with you? Genuinely there are people on this app, people who engage in syscourse who are chronically online and I do NOT mean that as an insult.

Internet addiction is no different to any other kind of addiction and it SHOULD be taken more seriously! My OCPD plays a part in my addictions personally, but nonetheless I have an addiction to checking syscringe - sounds dumb ik! The anxiety bubbles inside of me and the only release I can get from it is checking, which ends up in me checking every hour (sometimes more). It's super incredibly damaging and I've been trying to stop second day of not checking!

But seriously, if you think that you may be a little addicted to Tumblr, to syscourse, anything online really - consider taking a step back. Maybe take a day and do all the things you enjoy without engaging in it at all? It's okay to disappear for a little and you're not doing anything wrong by putting yourself first. And if you have a partner or close friends maybe you can get their help to not engage?

Whenever I want to completely disengage from Tumblr I put a barbie movie on my laptop and draw some ponies! With a yummy snack and drink of course :) Self care is actually really fun!! You could curl up in a blanket, maybe cuddle one of your plushies friends? Take care of yourself on Tumblr, it's important you are able to recognize when you're getting too sucked into online discourse.

#syscourse #did system #did #did osdd #system #actually did #actually plural #osdd system #osdd #syspunk #systempunk #pluralpunk #cdd #cdd system #cdd community #polyfrag

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seven-gill · 3 months ago

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🦈

Hullo! I’m seven-gill (or 7gill). I’m also known as MelonHarvest on DeviantArt (https://www.deviantart.com/melonharvest). Any pronouns.

What’s a seven-gill? It’s a type of shark! Specifically the Broadnose sevengill shark (Notorynchus cepedianus).

This blog is primarily dedicated to my my artwork, so I don’t plan on reblogging anything barring a few exceptions. If you wanna see stuff I think is cool, check out my likes page.

I post whatever, whenever, but right now my main output is fanart for the YA fantasy series Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland. I've been a fan for over 10 years, but admittedly I've grown out of the actual books themselves. Even if I don't read them anymore, I love to draw the characters anyway!

I’m also into marine life and the ocean as a whole. I’m currently curating a list of interesting aquatic (or semi-aquatic) organisms, so if there’s one you’d like to share, PLEASE DO!!! I want to see them so badly, even if it’s already on my list (300+ entries strong). I’d type out my other interests, but you can probably gauge them from my posts/likes.

As a disclaimer, I am an adult. I would rate this blog PG13, but I will provide content warnings when appropriate. I bring this up because I’m aware some of my followers are minors, and I post fanart for a series aimed at tweens and teens. I do not post or engage with NSFW content.

Art

I use Autodesk Sketchbook and/or ProCreate with an iPad and Apple Pencil.

I do not take requests, commissions, or art trades at this time.

Please don’t repost my artwork to other platforms without my permission, thank you! I’ll probably say yes anyway. If you must, please remember to credit it to my Tumblr or DA account.

For my WoF art, I tend to favor a cartoonish style influenced by the 2D works of Disney/Dreamworks and AnimatedWings- a fan organized unofficial Wings of Fire animation project. I am not affiliated with them.

You are welcome to use/reference my designs for your own work.

***

Cya!

** Edited for brevity

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system-of-a-feather · 11 months ago

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New Pinned Post

I'm no longer in need of back up money, so commissions aren't needed, but if you ever want to commission me, I'm usually open. I also occasionally put some of my art on redbubble.

Please read Boundaries before sending an ask.

Anyways, hello everyone, I am too lazy to find my old crack DID pride flag (it'll come up some day and I'll link it here), and I figured I should slowly update some of my intro stuff for this blog after not touching it for a fucking minute.

You can call me Feathers - we're a 21+ year old Buddhist mixed-AAPI intersex nonbinary system (they/them) that is fully fused. There's a lot of oddities going on with our system so here is a bit of an explanation of our system situation here. "So what's up with the Feathers anyways?"

OUT OF DATE (5/15/2014); Keeping for it being an interesting post. For the most recent discussion on Buddhism, Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicity written by our fully fused self before our recent decision to swap back to Functional Mulitiplicity, feel free to read here; it's long but a pretty cohesive understanding of our current experiences with our DID and shit. (End of OUT OF DATE note)

We're diagnosed with DID, C-PTSD, autism, trichotillomania, OCD, and honestly a number of things cause complex-trauma life. We have some physical disabilities but nothing that typically causes too much obstruction in our day to day.

As a result of our state of recovery, we really don't have a set headcount, however we were / are polyfragmented.

Some fun things about us and things you'll see on this blog:

Due to the fact that DID is no longer really that much of an interesting topic / impactful part of our life, we only occasionally post about DID and our experiences with it. While it was the original purpose of this blog, as a depiction of our healing journey and what healing with DID can look like, we decided we would rather just post about whatever sparks joy in our life. As a result, rather than much content on DID, you will likely see things relating to the topics below. PLEASE feel free to send asks about ANY of the topics below. We love to talk about things.

We are Buddhist (primarily non-theistic; mostly non-denominational, largely Zen) and we really enjoy it. We particularly like the philosophy and do practice it. Admittedly, we identify as being god awful Buddhists, but thats okay cause its part of the process.

We love research and plan to go into it when our ducks are better aligned. We particularly love research and literature around developmental psychopathology, trauma, dissociation, animal behavior, and the more abstract neuroscience topics (particularly consciousness research). We likely won't post much on it as overtly here because I don't enjoy talking science on tumblr much because most people (in my experience) don't actually want to talk about research as much as they want to prove their point.

We are avid bird watchers and regularly document / photograph the birds we see and upload them to ebird. We really enjoy it as an activity and social engagement and really love sharing that joy and knowledge with people. We actually have a minor in Avian Science and have been tested on North American ID skills. We also know more than we need to about chicken biology as a result of said degree. If you want to send anything about birds, bird watching, or asking for a bird ID (even non North American), they are ALWAYS welcome and you are ALWAYS allowed to tag us in any bird related content.

We do a lot of creative work and have dedicated ourselves (without writing partner) to a large story world project that we've been writing for over a decade now. We actually specifically started grinding our art skills in 2020 specifically just to help build that world up. Art is one of our largest self soothing coping mechanisms. We are going to turn that story world into a comic and a TTRPG system so please check out @thedevaaffliction.

Overall, we really just like thinking about a lot of topics and things as part of both our interest in research, philosophy, and as part of our Buddhist practice. We don't really find an interest in arguing discourse / syscourse because we really dislike and see very little benefit in debate. That said, we love to discuss experiences, thoughts, feelings and perspectives on complex topics and as long as the intent is to discuss and share rather than to "win" or "prove", we really enjoy that sort of enrichment in our life so we do welcome it. That said, we withhold the right to deem any conversation as more debate than discussion and to abandon it.

Additionally, related to the fifth point, we believe in being fully transparent about our past and admission that we were wrong as we think it is very important to be able to re-evaluate your beliefs and opinions and grow. In our mid teens we actually were pretty far into the alt-right pipeline and until about a year or so ago, we were staunch anti-endos. These days we are basically commies and very pro-endo. If anyone has any interest on how we pivoted so hard in our opinions on those topics, we are more than open to talk and discuss it as well as any insights we pulled from the experience.

Also we love martial arts - I forgot that cause I'm not particularly XIV brained rn but we REALLY enjoy martial arts.

We suck at being labeled and having labels. We're just very very queer.

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DNI:

People who put on their socks/shoes in the order of Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe

That's about it. We liberally block, so we don't really worry about DNIs. If we don't like your content for any reason, we will remove it from our dash. Whether or not you want to interact with us is up to you past that point. Generally, we welcome anyone to follow as it can make for good conversation.

#pinned post #alter: fei #alter: riku

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thealogie · 10 months ago

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Hey Thea! Two weeks not checking the tinhat side of GO tumblr and my quality of life has seriously improved! Just wanted to use your platform to give this message to those who still can't quit hate reading of the wife haters.

Guys, you won't miss anything interesting or groundbreaking if you stop checking the crazies! I know because I thought that I should be on top of fandom developments even if I find them laughable or deeply unpleasant. No. I don't need that and you don't really need that too. Conspiracy and hate mongering is not news and they don't represent the state of the fandom, drop the nasty thing and wash your hands.

The fascination with studying creepy people's behavior I understand better, but if you're not a professional psychiatrist you don't really need that as well (and if you are, my condolences, at least do a paper on this material, get some dividends). Believe me, you're gonna feel better when you stop thinking about the tinhats' ridiculous theories and getting angered by their hate speech and sophistry. I've been there! Life is much better on the other side, believe me. Just stop, block and forget about them. Dixi.

Thank you 🫡 after being the main proponent of the block/ignore strategy I have to say they’ve reached heights where I periodically have to be like “it’s actually not ok” but I endorse doing so without looking at or engaging with what they say lol.

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copperbadge · 1 year ago

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I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

#fandom #meta

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momentsofhyuka · 2 years ago

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make this feel like home

!!! tumblr mobile messed up the formatting of this version for me so please check the final work out HERE !!! ty <3

summary:

Sure you and Yeonjun had always been sort of a package deal. You became friends at a young age, attended all the same schools, and now attended the same college. It had been great coming into college with a best friend already and you easily found a friend group you both got along with.

You never expected said friend group to insinuate that Yeonjun could possibly like you. It just didn’t make sense.

or: your classic oblivious childhood best friends to lovers

genre: childhood friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, oblivious, college

warnings: angst, curse words, crying, party setting, drinking, throwing up, misunderstandings

notes: first post kinda nervous … anyways hope at least one person enjoys this !! Let me know what you think <3

———————————————————————

Choi Yeonjun has always reminded you of home. Growing up as neighbors you had become fast friends, something that had never changed. Here you were years later, still best friends with him, as you both attended the latest party on campus.

You were never much of a partier, preferring to hang out with friends somewhere you could actually hold a conversation without screaming. Yeonjun on the other hand had quickly taken to the party scene your first year in college and still liked to go even now in your senior year.

The few parties you went to were after weeks of begging from Yeonjun to go with him. You don’t know why he even bothered to ask you so much, he knew you could never say no to him.

That’s how you found yourself crammed on a shitty couch with some of your friends, waiting for Yeonjun to come back with your drinks, on what could have been a peaceful Friday night spent catching up on your favorite show. You sighed trying to get a little more comfortable on the couch smiling back at Kai’s apologetic grimace.

“I would say i’m surprised you’re here, but Yeonjun has been looking forward to this party for way too long. I knew he’d convince you to come,” started Taehyun motioning towards you. The others murmured their agreements at the statement. Seems like the whole world knew just how wrapped around his finger Yeonjun has you.

“It’s easier to come to these things than to deal with his constant whining,” you attempted to defend yourself, not sure why you suddenly felt a little offended. They hadn’t really said anything that wasn’t true.

Sensing the change in your mood the others tried to steer the conversation away but Soobin didn’t get the hint.

“I mean let’s be honest, if you gave him a firm no he would cancel everything and go spend time with you anyways,” Soobin reasoned in an attempt to even out the statements from earlier.

You laughed, giving a small “Yeah right,” in response and were surprised to be met with dumbfounded stares. Suddenly they were all more engaged in this conversation than before.

“He’s not kidding. Yeonjun would literally do anything you asked it’s kind of funny to watch him following you around like a puppy,” continued Beomgyu, the rest of the guys all nodding in agreement.

“A love sick puppy,” added Kai, giggling into his cup. Taehyun roughly elbowed him hissing what sounded like a “shut up, idiot.”

You simply continued to stare at them in confusion.

You never expected said friend group to insinuate that Yeonjun could possibly like you. It just didn’t make sense.

All your life it’s always been you and Yeonjun as the duo, one never really without the other. With this, however, always came the assumption that you had a major crush on Yeonjun or something. Some people had even gone as far as to insinuate that Yeonjun put up with you because he was nice or that he took pity on you. In most peoples heads, it was always you following the bright star that was Yeonjun who was always just slightly out of your orbit.

(Yeonjun and the guys were not big fans of these people, constantly defending you much to your embarassment.)

This is why the guys statements caught you so off guard. In your time as friends you had never heard the opposite. Yeonjun chasing after you? Yeonjun doing whatever you asked? Yeonjun having a crush on you?

It simply wasn’t conceivable. You knew you and Yeonjun were equals in the friendship despite what so many thought but you also knew it was never anything more than friendship.

Settled by this train of thought you decided that they had to be joking or trying to prank you, and gave another awkward laugh. “That’s funny. You always hear people saying I like him not the other way around. Good one guys,” you continued trying to show them that whatever it is they were trying to accomplish was not working.

You watched as they glanced at each other in disbelief. Scanning the room briefly and concluding that Yeonjun was still in the kitchen somewhere, Soobin risked continuing the conversation. “We really aren’t kidding. Look we probably shouldn’t be telling you this but it’s kind of tiring watching you both dance around the obvious feelings there,” he replied, no hint of humor on his face.

You sputtered a bit and tried to defend yourself against these claims. All the times anyone had ever even hinted at you liking Yeonjun had ended with the guys rushing to your defense, yet here they were saying the exact same thing. Not only that, but they were adding a new layer of Yeonjun liking you back.

“C’mon, you’re like one of the most perceptive people I know. I could’ve sworn you knew he liked you and just didn’t know what to do about it. He’s the oblivious one,” Taehyun cut your weak defense off with.

“Yeah, he’s always being dramatic wondering if ‘he’s fated to watch you end up with someone else and be stuck loving you forever’ or some sappy shit like that,” tacked on Beomgyu doing a poor impression of Yeonjuns voice.

“Love?!” you finally got out having been unable to even give a response through your sheer shock.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened in realization of what he said but before anyone could chime in and correct the situation Yeonjun finally came back, drinks in hand.

You felt yourself blushing and mentally cursed the guys for putting any of these thoughts into your head. You had come to terms a long, long time ago that you and Yeonjun would always be best friends. You were okay with that. You beat back any non-platonic feelings that had crept up and eventually got so good at it, that you didn’t even have to worry about liking him.

Because you totally didn’t. No way. Doesn’t matter what the guys say they’re definitely wrong.

Despite this you still found yourself thinking about what they had just said.

Aside from you, they did know Yeonjun best and if there’s something he wasn’t telling you, (like the fact he apparently is harboring a huge crush on you), he would definitely tell one if not all of them. You paused at this thought, suppressing a gasp.

What if they were really telling the truth?

You didn’t have anymore time to linger on this because Yeonjun was suddenly right in front of you, offering you the drink he had made for you (because he had your favorite drink memorized). Totally something best friends do. Right?

To say you were freaking out was an understatement, and you could tell the guys definitely knew by their guilty glances at you.

“Sorry I took so long! I ran into Wooyoung on the way there and we got caught up talking,” Yeonjun announced to the group, unaware of what had just happened.

You gave a weak thanks as you accepted the cup, suddenly hyper aware of all your interactions with him. Not to mention you now felt like you were being watched by the guys.

“So, what did I miss?” questioned Yeonjun causing Kai to give a nervous laugh and Beomgyu to respond with “Nothing!” too quickly.

Way to be subtle.

“Oh so I definitely missed something good. You’ll tell me right?” he teasingly answered, turning to face you with a questioning look. You locked eyes with Taehyun who’s face of horror was likely mirroring your own.

You bravely risked a glance up at Yeonjun noting that he had absolutely no worries that you’d ever not tell him what he missed. He trusted you.

(“He looovess you,” sing-songed your gremlin brain. Didn’t know we were in middle school.)

“Just the guys being stupid like always, nothing actually important,” you finally decided to respond with, surprised at how stable your voice sounded. You had always been comforted by Yeonjuns presence, it’s not very surprising you still would be even when he was currently the root of all your problems.

(“Because you’re in love with him,” that same annoying voice in your head supplied. It sounded suspiciously like Soobin.)

He simply nodded in response giving a small laugh, and you could see the others sighing in relief.

You expected it to be left at that. You would go back to pretending you didn’t like him (because you didn’t !!). You would also now pretend to not know he apparently likes you (because he definitely does not). The guys would grovel for forgiveness from you for the rest of your life. It was a simple plan really. Easy.

Apparently it was not that easy.

“Wait i’m like sooo invested in what you guys were saying,” slurred a voice to your left. The group turned in confusion to the girl standing near the couch, clearly well past her first drink. “So that guy that just came in that’s the one you guys said likes her back, right?,” she continued, pointing shakily at you, unaware of the panicked looks that had now overtaken everyone’s faces.

“So they’re in love and didn’t know or whatever. What happens next? I reallyyy want to know you guys are SO good at telling stories,” she pouted at the group. A stunned silence followed her words. Suddenly she gagged, eyes widening as she rushed over to the bathroom.

There went your plan, destroyed by a case of drinking and eavesdropping.

Frozen in your spot you struggled to figure out what to even do next. Yeonjun wasn’t stupid, there was no saying the girl was too drunk and didn’t know what she was saying, not with everyone’s immediate guilty reactions.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “So, anyone care to tell me what that was all about?” He definitely did not sound happy.

(“He totally sounded embarrassed though,” tried the little voice. Read the room.)

You had never been much of a crier but you suddenly found tears rolling down your face, feeling utterly helpless for once.

You couldn’t believe this is how your friendship with Yeonjun would end.

Suddenly too overwhelmed to continue experiencing this you frantically stood up, desperately wiping your tears away to try and preserve some of your dignity.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Yeonjun called but it was too late you had already taken off, weaving through the crowd to the exit.

You were pretty sure you didn’t have to worry about anyone following you either. Not after that.

You were almost at the door when you felt someone grab your wrist. Stupidly, you let yourself be filled with hope that it was Yeonjun and you had been wrong about him not following you.

It wasn’t. It was the same girl from earlier. She looked worse for wear, having clearly thrown up. “Hey, you have to let me know how that story finishes. I’m rooting for you guys,” she said, not noticing your disheveled state. You laughed weakly and pulled out of her grasp continuing in your earlier path out of here.

You stumbled into the street, jogging in the direction you think your dorm was in. Yeonjun had brought you to the party, and you hadn’t really thought to pay attention to the directions. Tonight wasn’t supposed to end like this.

Suddenly you heard your name being called and looked back to see Yeonjun sprinting towards you. He didn’t look particularly happy or “in love” right now. He honestly looked pretty pissed off.

You guessed this was it. He finally came to his senses after all that and was here to tell you to leave him alone, to forget you were ever friends. You still couldn’t find it in yourself to truly be mad at or blame the guys. They thought they were helping. You could see them running after Yeonjun but while he continued his journey towards you they lingered by the doorway, uneasy looks on their faces.

You hoped he didn’t take this out on them. They were still good friends for him all things considered.

Finally reaching you on the sidewalk, Yeonjun paused to catch his breath and you tried your best to mentally prepare for what he was going to say. Not that you were doing that good of a job, if anything your earlier tears had practically become full on sobs.

“You scared the shit out of me,” started Yeonjun, causing you to look up at him in confusion. “Don’t ever run away like that again please. I know i’m a dancer and all but I am not about to take up running anytime soon,” he wheezed a bit, placing his hand on your shoulder.

You laughed through your tears unsure what you were even supposed to be feeling right now.

“Sorry I was a bit late running after you, I needed to confirm with the guys that I heard that girl right before I made a complete idiot of myself in front of you,” he continued, suddenly seeming more shy and awkward. All you could do was blink up at him.

“I mean I did hear her right according to them. She did say ‘likes her back’ because you like me too right? The guys weren’t messing around with me?” his voice was now shaky and a little desperate as he stared into your glassy eyes.

“What?” was all you could manage in response, not quite sure what exactly was happening right now.

This was apparently not the correct response because it looked like a light suddenly went out in him. His shoulder slumped immediately and he began to backtrack on what he had said.

You cut him off trying to get some clarity on the situation, “Hold on, so you don’t hate me and want to end our friendship right now?”

The look he gave you in response honestly made you feel kind of embarrassed for even asking that.

“What!?! Hate you? I think i’m incapable of hating you. No, I am not about to end our friendship. I’m here wondering if we’ve been in love with each other for our whole lives and have been too stupid and scared to realize or act on it!” he let out, emotions clearly getting to him as his eyes began to water as well.

You gasped and decided to buy time to respond by flinging yourself into his arms. He held you tight immediately, burying his face into your hair. Finally gathering your thoughts, you began to answer him.

“I do love you. I always have. I-I never knew what to do with it, never knew if I could give all that love to you, so I just pretended it wasn’t there. I was happy just to have you in my life I didn’t care how,” you admitted into the safety of his jacket, burning face buried away from his curious eyes.

He pulled back, tilting your chin up, removing you from your hiding spot. He was now crying as well which only served to make you start crying even harder. You were never good at seeing him cry.

“I’m so in love with you it physically hurts. I always thought I would be forever stuck on loving you from a distance but never having you. Now that I know being yours is an option I’m never letting go,” he fiercely responded, shaking you slightly. Cupping his face you let yourself do the one thing you’ve always wanted to. You kissed him.

Cupping his face you let yourself do the one thing you’ve always wanted to. You kissed him. He tasted like home.

Loud cheers suddenly interrupted the moment and you both pulled away startled. The guys were cheering you on. You laughed and buried yourself back into Yeonjuns arms. His embrace felt like home.

Loud cheers interrupted the moment and you both pulled away startled. The guys, who had watched the whole thing unfold, were cheering you on. You laughed burying yourself back into Yeonjuns arms. His embrace felt like home.

Suddenly shy, you buried yourself back into Yeonjuns embrace, laughing.

Loud cheers interrupted the moment and you both pulled away startled. The guys, who had watched the whole thing unfold, were cheering you on. You laughed suddenly shy and buried yourself back in Yeonjuns arms. His embrace felt like home.

Loud cheers interrupted the moment and you both pulled away startled. The guys, who had watched the whole thing unfold, were cheering you on. You laughed suddenly shy, and buried yourself into Yeonjuns arms again. He felt like home.

He held you close. His embrace felt like love and home.

Cupping his face you let yourself do the one thing you’ve always wanted to. You kissed him.

Loud cheers interrupted the moment and you both pulled away startled. The guys, who had watched this all unfold, were cheering you on. You laughed, suddenly shy, and buried yourself back into Yeonjuns arms.

Also laughing, he held you tight. His embrace felt like love and home.

Cupping his face and you allowed yourself to do the one thing you’ve always wanted to do. You kissed him.

Also laughing, he held you close. His embrace felt like love and home.

Loud cheers interrupted the moment, startling the both of you. You both pulled away and looked at the source of the noise to find it was none other than the guys who had watched the whole thing unfold. Suddenly shy you buried yourself back into Yeonjuns arms, laughing.

He was laughing too, but he made sure to hold you tight. His embrace feeling like love and home all at once.

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