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local-magpie · 1 year

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sometimes these days i think about who I was in 2017, compare them to who I am now. i've come so far, in so many ways, and I can't help but see that person as someone else entirely. They were so helpless, too proud to accept help or even that they needed help. They couldn't cook, couldn't keep a single thing clean - the guy I was dating back then once found a not-quite-empty half gallon of milk ready to explode behind my desk - and they couldn't make it to class, hardly ever. They went to OSU for two semesters, a different major each one because they couldn't decide what to do with themselves, and promptly failed out because they could not make it to class. There's similarities, I was still there under the skin; I've always been a fighter, never willing to give up, but back then I didn't even have a vision of what I wanted. I was just flailing around, determined to keep my head above water and convinced that was the whole end goal of my life.

It's like to that person, nothing better was even imagineable, which is probably why this year has been so surreal. Am I making any sales yet on my stock art? No, lol, I'm not even marketing enough for half my friends to know I'm in the ttrpg sphere professionally, as it turns out. But I'm doing it. I'm doing regular releases, actually keeping to a professional goal - I have a trade name, I'm networking, I've already had one paid project this year. I fought tooth and claw to finally get my degree, and now I have a salaried job. It's not perfect, but I finally fucking figured out what I'm fighting for, and it's not settling for being able to breathe. The last few years I've been so much happier than like... any other time in my life, even while dealing with some seriously crushing medical issues that STILL affect me today, and while I've been sort of confused but not questioning it this whole time, I think this is the root of it.

I'm not trying to go it alone, I'm not accepting anything less than happiness. I'm setting goals based on what will make me happy and satisfied with my life, instead of what I think I can convince life to give me. It's not easy, nothing worthwhile is, but I think I'd actually rather die than go back to who I was back then, wallowing in my circumstances and telling myself it was enough.

#this feels pretentious somehow but im literally just trying to get my thoughts down so whatever #i always feel a little dumb saying shit like 'i clawed my way to where i am' because i do have a pretty privileged background #but it turns out health does not give a shit about that and is an equal opportunity asshole #most people say it and mean theyre fighting society but i mean it like i fought myself and god and won #or at least am winning #very much still fighting the good fight #but i refuse to stand still #i refuse to just let things happen to me if i can do literally anything about it #we keep moving #one foot in front of the other #yelling at the void #also if you're wondering the use of they is very intentional #because honestly part of the divide is that back then i was iding as nb and avoiding thinking about gender any further #i didnt WANT to think about it. i blocked out the idea that i might be anything else for a long time #it was like two years ago now that a fucking. tiktok. shattered that shell #idk im just living more authentically as myself nowadays in like a million ways #and i am so so glad #i dont like... hate my old self or anything though #if anything i pity them #imagine if they had been able to pick themselves up off the ground sooner #what could they have done at OSU? what could they have done with their life?#well. they didn't. so they're me now #and I'm doing this now instead of whatever they'd have done #suddenly understanding the idea that life is a series of ego deaths

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mokadevs · 5 months

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day 10: love is devotion

#arknights #texlapp #lappland #texas arknights #cecilia texas #lappland arknights #sorry! texlapp again!#so called free thinkers etc etc #i am not winning the diversity in ships war but oh well. at least theyre in different outfits #kiki draws #minifemslashfeb2024

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buttercup-barf · 5 months

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Happy Pizzer Wowzer day. Take a nap amidst your travels, why don't you?

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #gustavo pt #gustavo pizza tower #gerome pt #gerome pizza tower #brick pt #brick pizza tower #the noise #mushroom toppin #cheese toppin #tomato toppin #sausage toppin #pineapple toppin #i lost steam halfway through but i have to pump out something for at least one anniversary for once #scheduled this for the usual time a-la five am which means it's already the anniversary here. i win

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redliferiot · 1 year

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grian pearl and scott: none of us chose or even truly desired to win, rather, victory was thrust upon us like the cloak of destiny that we all don. victory was unwelcome and in some cases unexpected, it could've been anyone but it was us martyn: i murdered cause i wanted to win and i won cause i wanted to murder

#this is a hyperbole guys b4 u get mad at me #i just think its funny how especially grain and pearl's victories were these big climatic things with a ton of emotional buildup #and especially pearls #whos victory was very much thrust upon her #compared to martyn who literally just lied and betrayed his teammate to win #bc! he wanted to win!#couple that with the hc that c!martyn has at least some idea abt the watchers I think that's pretty interesting lore wise #but who am i to say anythinh abt lore (<- knows nothing about nothing)#being stuck in situations vs murder for murders sake #grian #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #martyn inthelittlewood #limited life spoilers #innsjotxt #1k #martyn itlw

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julissart · 2 years

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Miraculers, how are y’all feelin’?

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mpliego · 1 year

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been thinking about favourable conditions by @sunsafewriting for weeks... so I made something :)

#warrior nun #avatrice #illustration #fan art #digital art #fan fiction #fic rec #warrior nun fanart #i know i said i was gonna post art about something other than warrior nun #and i am #but this fic is so good #and these ideas just wouldn't leave my mind #so here we are #the brainrot is real #and at least it's feeding my creativity #pirates?! ava in a corset?! beatrice in uniform?!#winning formula

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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sharing is caring <3

#KISS THE MAILMAN!!!!#they are waiting their turns!!!#this is so fucking indulgent & niche asdjaskjcnaskclak #eddie gets all the love!!!#im such a giggly lil bitch about this im-#yall dont even know how bad it was when i was actually scribbling this. commit me to an asylum #its soooo Unserious and its soooooo Fun #eddie is the perfect size for them to Hold and Cherish #screaming crying wailing eating floor tiles!!!#ok somebody take me out back and shoot me The Voices Are Winning #scribble salad #what do i even tag this with??? DO i even tag it???#lmao imagine i toss it into the welcome home tag #woe! laughingletterstock be upon ye!!#im spicing up the soup... at least i like to think that i am!!!#i create silly mindless stuff like this so that i can Think later #alrighty im gonna queue this for the morning #there's like. 3 people absolutely frothing at the mouth to see this so!!!#morning queue! i could post it Now but like. lmao #ive posted enough today.... gotta space it out a lil

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horsemeatluvr23 · 1 month

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the juppet !! i just realised he is jerma posing i swear that was unintentional...... i spent so long digging thru muppet concept art and looking at old puppet designs just to end up doing a rly simple drawing but. i love joehills!! i have only been watching them for like 4 years but their videos r so special to me :3

#i would love to do a more complex drawing inspired by muppet concept art at some point... just wanted to give myself a bit of a break #i've been spending So much time on these drawings every day n it's not really sustainable for me to be spending multiple hours every day #when i have so much work i should be doing...... but i rly enjoyed this silly little muppet even if it's v simple for my standards #tbh i'm surprised i even made it this far into the challenge.. we're like two thirds in ?!!?!#i've only ever completed an art challenge once and that was inktober in 2018... and those were SIMPLE drawings #my standards are a lot higher than they were 6 years ago... but also there's extra pressure because i'm posting these #and i know i don't Have to post them but. it's a way of keeping myself accountable because i am terrible at that without outside motivation #omg why do i always ramble So much in tags this is ridiculous i'm so sorry if anyone actually reads these....#anyways i rly hope my people drawing skills r improving..#i doubt there will be noticable difference but i hope i feel at least a little more confident by the end of this #hermitaday #horsemeatluvr does hermitaday #horsemeat gallery #joehills #joehills fanart #joe hills #joe hills fanart #hermitcraft #traditional art #unedited sketchbook drawings 4 the win (i've given up on scanning n editing these or even taking them in proper lighting... too much effort)#i'm just a little guy

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dawnthefluffyduck · 4 days

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Crazy issues that come up when a character is written a little too well

#yay story time comic nobody asked for #funnily enough i will NEVER play undertale on the computer because of this #my first exposure to undertale was jacksepticeye and i am glad i didn't opt to play the game myself at the time #flowey closing the game and then the broken start up cutscene was bad enough just WATCHING it #and i STILL have to watch that chara thing at the end with a far distance from my screen and the volume down #not because of the scary face but because of the violin noise that sounds like its a repeating tone rather than a loop #and then of course the window hopping around #am also very glad i was spoiled about the spamton mercy win before i tried it myself #am slightly worried about future deltarune chapters but at least now i'm anticipating it #anyway remember when i tagged that one post ''i'm scared of computers and it's a monkey's fault''#now you know :3 #i really wanted this done on thursday #and apparently dawn's brain says friday doesn't happen until after i fall asleep #so now i am awake and it is 4:30 and i hear birds chirping so nighty night #((or good morning))#yay comic :D i was right this did help a lot with getting some program familiarity #it's not the greatest paneling in the world but it's good for now #idk if i should really tag him or not #but uh #spamton #deltarune #spamton enjoyers i am so sorry #i am terrified of him only because he does his job in the story very well

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thetorturedlovergirl · 16 days

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Kate Stewart I admire you. The looks, the voice, the personality!!

Did she hire children? Yes, and ?? This is good work experience for their future. Their resumes are going to be perfect. She didn't do anything wrong.

#but still it’s so funny that now rose is working with UNIT #ma’am that’s a 16yo girl #whatever #good working experience am I right ??#they’re gonna be veeery traumatized but at least people will hire them #a win honestly #doctor who #dr who #rose noble #kate stewart #kate lethbridge stewart #the legend of ruby sunday #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers

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punchable-panda · 1 year

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It’s cuz they are ✨

#no hate to the soley shippers #this ain’t about your ship #it’s just #this book is a fucking disaster 😭#I feel sorry for y’all #fanon content stay winning 🤙#at least you guys also probably have good soley fanfics too I’m hoping #percico #jasico #valangelo #or however the fuck you spell it #hater hours ✨#pjo #pjo memes #anti tsats #rick i am criticizing you #rr crit #MARK TOO now you’re on my hit list #solaneglo

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chirpsythismorning · 26 days

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The way fans on the st sub are almost all in agreement Nancy ending up with neither Jon nor Steve wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, and how they can even come up with a sleuth of reasons as to why, honestly pretty valid and fair reasons, but then are absolutely gobsmacked when fans merely speculate something along those lines for El is, quite something.

#el hopper #byler #platonic elmike #stranger things #this is coming from someone who ADORED mileven in s1-2 #I literally skipped all of s2 in my rewatch before s3 aired bc I just wanted to see their reunion #then s3 happened #and I was confused at #A LOT of ppl are #and anyone coming to voice that confusion is ran off Reddit like they’re committing a crime #like would it hurt y’all to have some of the same common sense you have for el like you do with Nancy #??#I am more jancy leaning but also I just feel like it’s certain stancy ain’t happening #but I’m also not totally against Nancy wanting to be on her own for a while #maybe they’d imply jancy Will find their way back to each other #maybe they’re teamed up in s5 and wait until the very end to cement that certainty for each other #but I would not hate their stories if Nancy and Jon decided to live their own lives #FOR THEMSELVES #Nancy doing what she wants and loves #Jonathan doing what he wants instead of just doing stuff that helps people around him #and I’m not going to even get into the reasons why el and mike would benefit from living for themselves outside of their relationship #the attachment to the ship is stronger than any sort of attachment to the character #and when the things keeping them together are not strong to begin with…#that attachment is doomed and hard to watch and enjoy like idgi at all #also; all the pro-ronance comments on there getting like 30+ likes??#go ronance I guess??!??#idk if it’s because they think byler actually has a serious possibility while ronance has less build up #so they can sort of play with that idea without actually having to take it seriously…#at least ronance has a positive audience on there #a win is a win I guess 😭🫡

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henswilsons · 5 months

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just in: local woman discovers writing a paper over multiple days does, in fact, yield a better essay than writing it in one sitting the night before from the hours of 11pm-6am

#and on that note i am FREE ! at least for the next week until the next semester starts but we take the wins!!!

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starscelly · 1 year

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