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ninjnerd-anaklusmos · 9 months ago

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A Little Bit of Light

no way a fic update on tumblr. finally moving more of my fics over lmao.

Summary:

Satan and Asmodeus manage to knock some sense into Lucifer's thick skull while Mammon tries his very best to help Leviathan, but the sea demon wants nothing to do with him. Or does he?

Everything was in slow motion, leaving Satan stunned and breathless. Lucifer was bloody and most likely hurt and-

“Get over here!”

Satan tried to brush off his initial panic and shock, rushing forward and ripping Lucifer off of Leviathan, who was crying. Leviathan rushed out of the kitchen, but Satan hardly noticed, tempted to slap Lucifer. Asmodeus continued shrieking and Mammon shouted something over his shoulder at Satan before he rushed out of the kitchen, following after Leviathan. It was all happening so fast and suddenly that it left Satan reeling. Not only was it too fast, but the residual wrath that was clinging to Lucifer’s soul was so distracting.

Satan realized that he was gasping, body trying to gain more of that rich tasting rage, attempting to get high of off the power. Cursing mentally, Satan snatched Lucifer’s shoulder, turning the elder demon towards him in an attempt to ignore the dizzying feeling.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Lucifer looked puzzled and a little dazed himself, but Satan’s harsh words made his expression morph into a disapproving frown, “I’ll have you-”

“Skinned? Tortured? Goddamn, what did you do?”

Lucifer tilted his head just enough that Satan remembered how much smaller he was, which only added fuel to his fire. Asmodeus’s dainty hand was abruptly on his arm, amber eyes quiet and calming. Asmodeus then turned back to Lucifer, gently taking his hands in a way that Satan could not.

“Luci, what happened?”

Lucifer ignored Asmodeus, looking at the counter, confusion clear on his face as he seemed to notice that Leviathan was no longer in the room, “Where did he go? Shouldn’t he be happy?”

Asmodeus knit his brows, “Why would he be happy?”

Satan huffed, “Exactly my point here. You rush in, coated head-to-toe in blood, smash him in an unexpected hug, and then he’s running away bawling? What the hell?”

Asmodeus shot Satan a look, one that clearly said “chill out”. Satan drew in an irritated breath, “Sorry.”

Lucifer blinked in shock, his expression flickering between horror and realization, “I didn’t mean to startle him.”

Asmodeus nodded, “I know, Luci. We should clean you up.”

Lucifer nodded numbly as Asmodeus dashed off to get the first-aid kit, leaving the father and son alone in the empty kitchen. Satan pursed his lips, eyeing the older demon with... not exactly scorn, but pity. Satan knew how it felt to be blinded by rage and hate, knowing nothing but the causing of pain and the ripping of sinew and skin. Narrowing his eyes, Satan began to put puzzle pieces together, wondering what Lucifer had done to get coated in blood in the first place.

“I’m back!” Asmodeus flitted back into the kitchen, immediately opening the kit, digging in it for bandages. Satan placed a hand on the lust demon’s arm, stopping his digging.

“Hang on, Lucifer is that blood yours?”

Lucifer paused in his empty stare at the doorway, turning those dark eyes to Satan’s crystalline ones. The deepness of the gaze made Satan almost look away, heart stuttering for a moment. Lucifer took his gloves off, eyes still locked onto Satan’s, “No. It isn’t mine.”

The dark eyes hardened and faded into red, “It belonged to the bastards that hurt Leviathan.”

Asmodeus blinked in shock and Satan groaned, smacking a hand to his forehead in exasperation.

“Lucifer, for the sake of the population, you need to calm down! You’ve killed more than Belphegor! Belphegor!”

Asmodeus yelped, putting his body between the blond and the raven, “Boys, boys! Refrain from more bloodshed if you will, as I doubt our dearest Levi will be happy if you’re both dead.”

Satan flinched at that, properly chastised. Lucifer sighed heavily, dropping his gloves on the counter, leaning against it.

“I cannot believe that I did that.”

Asmodeus pursed his lips, “Well, mistakes get made. Nothing new.”

Satan heaved a sigh of his own, “Murder isn’t the answer.”

Lucifer shot him a look of anger, but Satan ignored it, crossing his arms instead of speaking again. Asmodeus chewed his lip, nervously watching the two demons. After a moment, Asmodeus took Lucifer by the arm, “Let’s go get you cleaned up, in case Leviathan sees you again?”

Lucifer nodded, shooting one last look at Satan before he let Asmodeus tug him out of the kitchen. The moment the Avatar of Pride was out of the kitchen, Satan collapsed against the countertop, lungs tight with pain. Squeezing his eyes shut, Satan forced himself into a more regular breathing pattern, struggling to focus through the haze of wrath that was misting the room, ruling out his logical thinking skills. Everything was covered in a foggy haze, making it hard to even see. Satan shuddered, half-healed wounds throbbing in pain, his brain flashing vivid images of the last time he had seen Lucifer bloody.

Satan leaned heavily against the counter, face pressed into his hands, palms rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to clear his blurry vision. His breath was stuttering in his chest and he couldn’t stop it. He knew he must have sounded pathetic, almost crying from absolutely nothing, but he couldn’t stop the wave of encompassing feelings. It made him feel ridiculous, a pitiful child that never had a father, yet he craved for it so terribly that it made him lose himself into despair. Satan sniffled, scrubbing harder at his eyes, forcing the tide back, back, back into the untamable ocean that contained his feelings and his tears.

Shakily exhaling, Satan lowered his hands, looking about the kitchen. It was so barren, even though it had just been filled with laughter and life. The mess on the floor was less and less appealing the longer he looked at it, and he could almost smell smoke. Satan scrubbed a hand across his nose, figuring that it was just his memories meshing together with reality. At least, that’s what he thought until he glanced at the stove, spotting the orange glow of flames. Cursing, Satan ran across the room, tossing the contents and the pan into the sink, turning the tap on, letting the fire extinguish.

The smokey mist was making his eyes tear up again, but he concentrated on the task at hand, hoping to be productive for once.

***

Lucifer watched a gust of wind carry leaves past the glass window, ignoring Asmodeus’s words as the lust demon left the room, leaving Lucifer by himself. The pride demon was sitting on one of the chairs in his bedroom, watching the window as if it held all the answers he needed to hear. How could he have been so rash? With Leviathan, easily the most sensitive out of his brothers? Lucifer rested his chin atop his hand, wishing he had the power to go back in time and fix what he had messed up.

It wasn’t just that he had ruined Leviathan’s entire day, possibly his entire week. No, it was far worse than that. He had potentially set up more enemies to damage Leviathan, possibly even fight him. Lucifer groaned at his own stupidity, rubbing at his temples. Perhaps he should ask Barbatos again for a restart. He could make it better, he knew know. Lucifer wouldn’t fail this time around. Barbatos had always just looked at him sadly, claiming that this timeline was the only one that gave his brothers happy endings.

Looking at it now, Lucifer didn’t believe the time demon. How could anything that was happening lead to a happy future? Lucifer sighed, wishing that there was something he could do to save his brothers from their mental chains and traumatic experiences. Lucifer lifted his head, staring off at the wall. Humans were far more experienced in the mental workings of the mind. They knew so much more about helping others live their best lives while they still could, mainly due to their short life spans.

Lucifer stood suddenly, speed-walking over to his closet, digging through it for his travel clothes. He would need to go to the Human World in order to get information on how to help his brothers. While he was searching for his coat, his D.D.D binged from its position on his nightstand. Curious, Lucifer walked over to the device, unlocking the screen and reading the notification. Lucifer stared at it for a moment, then he smiled.

***

Mammon leaned against the door, shoulders tense against the firm wood. He could hear his little brother and it made his heart throb in sympathy. Mammon had seen Leviathan cry so many times, but it never got easier to watch it happen. Hearing Leviathan sob and wail all alone without anyone to lean on was breaking Mammon’s soul. Another gasp-y sob filtered through the door, and Mammon slipped down the wood, leaning his head against the door at his back.

“If ya let me in, I can help.”

That seemed to make it worse if Leviathan’s cries meant anything. Mammon pursed his lips, wondering if he should just break the door down. He wanted nothing more than to go and comfort Leviathan, but the sea demon wouldn’t let him inside, choosing to bawl all alone. Mammon blinked, his vision watery and blurry. Sniffling, he bonked his head against the door, trying to get Leviathan to answer him. Nothing he did seemed to be working, and he wasn’t sure if kicking the door down would be good or bad.

“Levi?”

Mammon tensed when he felt something hit the door, unsure if it was a pillow or a weapon. He sighed heavily, “I’m right here.”

***

Leviathan slid down the door, burying his face into his knees, tears hot and mind screaming. All he could see was red and all he could smell was the tangy salty scent of blood. Mammon’s voice was filtering through the door, but Leviathan didn’t want him to waste anymore of his life babying him. He needed to just grow up and learn how to brush off insults and subjects he hated. Until then, he would bawl until he couldn’t breathe, alone.

“I’m right here.”

Leviathan gasped a shuddery breath at the words, tears coming harder as a response. He didn’t want Mammon to be here, he wanted him to go and live his life! Not continue to waste his time on a hopeless monster. Leviathan curled in on himself, sobs racking his body. Everything was just falling apart and he couldn’t begin to put it together before something else fell onto his barely built foundation, rendering him useless again. It hurt, and it would never stop hurting, would it? It was cold, but Leviathan was used to the cold.

***

Nervously opening the door, Leviathan poked his head out, wondering if anyone was still awake so late at night. He doubted it with the exhausting day they had had, but that didn’t mean no one was awake. Belphegor might be, it was about four in the morning. Leviathan swallowed, tip-toeing out of his room, pausing when his foot bumped into something. Holding back a yelp, Leviathan glanced down, spotting white hair.

Leviathan felt the heat of tears building up in his eyes again, but he ignored the sensation, crouching down beside Mammon instead. The greed demon was curled up on his side, breaths heavy and even. Just seeing him sleeping peacefully, right in front of his door, made Leviathan want to curse him. Mammon had so many other things he should be doing, but here he was, waiting for Leviathan to get his shit together again. Leviathan cringed, wondering if his brother had been here the entire time. Knowing Mammon, he probably had been.

Mammon sighed in his sleep, body curling closer to Leviathan’s feet as if he knew he was here. Leviathan stood, backing away from Mammon. He didn’t want to wake him up, but sleeping on the floor couldn’t be good for him. Leviathan weighed his options, glancing at the end of the hall, spotting the stairs. He bit his lip, then cursed under his breath. Moving closer to Mammon, Leviathan crouched next to him again. He managed to roll the demon onto his legs, pulling him against his chest and holding him tightly.

He almost fell over when he stood, but he managed to regain his balance, shuffle-walking across the hall to get the greed demon back to his bed. Mammon didn’t stir, but he was smiling in his sleep, arms lazily wrapped around Leviathan’s shoulders. Leviathan knew he was blushing terribly, but he had to get Mammon somewhere comfortable. He stopped in front of the door, arms shaking from Mammon’s weight, eyes boring into the dreaded doorknob. How was he supposed to open it with Mammon taking up his hands?

Leviathan pursed his lips, knocking his hip against the door in an attempt at access. To his surprise, the door swung open a little. Mammon must not have closed his door yesterday. Leviathan sighed with relief, nudging the door open a little more so he could get Mammon in. The floor was a wreck of empty bags and random piles of clothing. Leviathan surveyed the floor, trying to find the easiest pathway to Mammon’s bed. It was times like these that he wished that he had wings. Then again, if he did have wings, they’d probably be decorative, like fins.

Leviathan decided to just step on the clothes, avoiding pockets that were visible, just in case Mammon had something important tucked inside of them. He made it to the bed just in time, his arms giving out and depositing Mammon onto his bed with a flop. Leviathan winced, hoping Mammon wouldn’t wake up. He didn’t, much to the relief of the sea demon, but he did make grabby-hands at Leviathan in his sleep. Leviathan almost snorted, backing away from his brother, making his way out of the room. He didn’t close the door, only pulled it to, just in case.

***

Mammon awoke confused and cold. Sitting up, he glanced around finding himself in his room. Mammon crinkled his nose, recalling falling asleep by Leviathan’s door. How had he ended up in his bed? Last he checked, Belphegor sleep-walked, not him. Mammon tossed his legs over the edge of the bed, looking at his door. It didn’t hold any answers, but it wasn’t closed all the way. Mammon tilted his head, crossing his floor without a care for what he was stepping on. Stopping by the door, Mammon pulled it open, looking at the empty hall.

Leviathan’s door was open, and Mammon felt his heart rate increase. Leviathan was out of his room. Mammon darted across the hall, gripping the door frame to stop himself from crashing into the room, blue eyes scanning the room. Leviathan wasn’t inside, so he must have left already. Mammon pushed off of the door frame, rushing down the hall, hopping onto the stair railing, sliding down like a child. Landing with grace, Mammon rushed through the living room, eyes darting from one piece of furniture to the next in his wild search.

Skidding to a stop in the kitchen doorway, Mammon found what he was looking for. Leviathan was sitting on the counter top, his feet in the sink, a cup of something in his hands as he looked out of the window. Mammon sighed, walking into the kitchen, “Hey.”

Leviathan looked away from the window, orange eyes landing on Mammon. He smiled, giving a shy little wave. Mammon smiled back, hopping up on the other side of the sink, watching Leviathan sip from his cup. Mammon looked down into the basin of the sink, arching a brow at Leviathan’s feet in the sink. Mammon looked back at the demon across from him, gesturing at the feet in the sink. Leviathan shrugged, taking another sip out of the cup. Mammon rolled his eyes, shoving his feet into the sink too.

Wiggling his tan toes, Mammon noticed that his white nail polish was almost the same shade as Leviathan’s skin. Leviathan’s toes copied Mammon’s, making the greed demon laugh. Leviathan giggled too, eyes bright and Mammon almost forgot about what happened yesterday. Almost. It clung to him like a kudzu vine, tangling and strangling his memories, always reminding him with every throb. But right now, watching Leviathan look happy and actually laughing, Mammon chose to let the vine tighten, he could always cut it away later.

Mammon gestured at the cup in his little brother’s hands, “What’cha drinkin’?”

Leviathan wiggled the cup, “Oh, it’s just water.”

Mammon nodded, “Didja eat dinner?”

Leviathan shook his head, cutting off Mammon’s groan, “Hey, you didn’t eat either! You can’t get onto me when you haven’t either.”

Mammon pulled his feet out of the sink, sliding off of the counter, “Yeah, well, I’ve eaten breakfast today. You haven’t.”

Leviathan sighed, looking down into his glass of water, “I know.”

Mammon tugged the fridge open, “I don’t even know what we had for dinner.”

Leviathan’s voice carried across the room, “Me neither.”

Mammon huffed, digging around in the cold container, searching for something that wasn’t just junk food. He closed the fridge in frustration, tugging open the nearest cabinet. Mammon shrieked, jumping backwards in shock. Leviathan had tossed his legs over the edge of the counter, “What? Mams, what is it?”

Mammon stared at the cabinet in shock, “Belphie?!”

Belphegor was sitting cross-legged inside of the cabinet, a spoon in his mouth and a bowl of... something in his lap. He gave a wave, tugging the spoon out of his mouth, “Hi.”

Leviathan stared at the younger demon, “What are you doing in there?”

Mammon walked over to the younger, looking inside of the bowl, “Is that whipped cream?”

Belphegor tugged the bowl protectively against him, “Yes.”

Mammon rolled his eyes, “For breakfast?”

Belphegor nodded, shoving another spoonful into his mouth. Leviathan snorted, “That’s an interesting breakfast.”

Mammon nodded, “Belphie, do ya know where real food is? Like, stuff for sandwiches?”

Belphegor nodded, slipping out of the cabinet with such grace that Mammon wondered where he’d gotten it from. Belphegor set the bowl of whipped cream and the spoon down on the counter, making his way over to the freezer. Mammon and Leviathan shared a confused glance, both watching their little brother lay across the freezer, reaching for something behind it. After a moment, Belphegor pulled an ice chest out from behind the freezer, a grin stretching across his lips.

“Beel never checks behind the freezer.”

Mammon gawked, “Never?”

Belphegor slid off of the freezer, “Well, unless he’s desperate. He doesn’t like to make a scene, you know.”

Leviathan nodded, “Yeah, valid.”

Mammon took the ice chest from Belphegor, “Thanks.”

Belphegor shrugged, “There’s ham and mustard in there, um, bread, cheese... actually, can I have the cheese?”

Mammon snorted, opening the chest, “Ya can have a piece. I’ll make ya a sandwich too.”

Belphegor pulled himself onto the counter, tugging the bowl of whipped cream back into his lap, “Why?”

Mammon pointed an accusing finger at Belphegor, “Ya can’t just eat whipped cream for breakfast!”

“Why not? It’s dairy, so it’s not total junk.”

Mammon rolled his eyes, “That don’t make it better.”

Belphegor looked like he was about to answer, but he looked over at Leviathan instead, watching the sea demon burst into peals of laughter. Mammon grinned at Belphegor, hoping he understood how important it was that Leviathan was happy. Did Belphegor know about what had happened? Belphegor smiled back, scooping another spoonful of whipped cream into his mouth, his eyes shimmering with mirth and knowledge. So he did know. At least he wasn’t bringing it up. Mammon smiled as he finished making the first sandwich, hoping that today would be better than the last.

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monika-briggs-creative · 2 years ago

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Moss

How I found unexpected inspiration on a brownish-blah day

In the spirit of bettering myself in the New Year, I went for a walk today. Quite honestly, I’ve been completely focused on work for quite some time now, more than a year now. Sadly, physical activity has gone by the wayside, along with a slew of other soul-fueling activities. There is just no time. However, I’ve resolved to move more, the day was mild, and so I made time for a walk.

Now, for me, walks are a bit more than physical exercise. As I walk, I listen to podcasts or books, I look around and take deep breaths and soak in nature, I find comfort in the predictability and order which envelops our neatly maintained suburban development, and I marvel at the simple beauty of all that surrounds me. By the time I return home, my legs feel the satisfaction of having done what they are meant to do, and my heart is swollen with gratitude and joy.

But today I was not hoping for much. It’s January. Worse, it’s not even a particularly cold January, so we don’t have picturesque hills of snow or frosty branches. Every natural thing outside has turned a shade of brownish-blah. Today was overcast, as per usual, and the past week has been rainy, and the combination of gray clouds and all-encompassing damp has tinted the whole neighborhood a uniform shade of dreary. Today, I was going for a walk, but not a particularly soul-stirring one. I guess one needs to be somewhat realistic about these things.

As anticipated, the walk started out in a very ordinary fashion. I left the house, I fiddled with my phone and headphones for a bit as I got a podcast going, and then I started putting one foot in front of the other. I usually look around, but there was a whole lot of nothing going on. From time to time, I’d pass someone taking down their Christmas decorations, but they were busy and didn’t notice me walking by. Otherwise, nothing. Not a bird flying by, no breeze stirring up leaves, not even some crazed insect to dodge. Nothing. And so I walked on, not really focused on anything, when my brain took notice of this amazing shade of green. I thought to myself: Wow, that is such a pretty, vibrant green! But I kept walking. Then a few steps later, I had the same thought: Wow, look at that green! Again, I didn’t really know what caught my eye, but this time I took notice. What was that? What did I just see? Curious, I turned around and walked back a few steps. Nothing. Hmm. So I turned forward again and re-walked the same 5 squares of sidewalk, and there it was! In the lines in the sidewalk, between two panes of concrete, was this tiny clump of moss. It was absolutely gorgeous! I stopped and inspected it for a few minutes. I had spent time this morning watering and caring for my upstairs houseplants, so I was in the right frame of mind for admiring green living things. And so I did. I marveled at the hundreds of miniscule plants that make up a tiny clump of moss, and the perfect shape of this moss clump, but mostly I was amazed by the color. In this brownish-blah world, such a bright, perfect green.

Finally, I stood up with a smile on my face and resumed walking. I walked no more than 10 steps when again, I saw a burst of my gorgeous green. It was another clump of moss in the sidewalk. I stopped and soaked it in and kept going. A few steps later, one more. A few steps after that, one more teeny clump. And so I started taking notice of the ground in earnest. I found that most of the concrete lines were quite empty, just clean canyons of concrete. Sometimes I saw some ground-cover type weeds (the type that apparently grows everywhere in all temperatures), and even rarer were mosses. And then, every once in a while, I saw clumps of my amazingly green moss. These pops of vibrant color had me smiling and looking and planning all sorts of things. I discovered that there were several kinds of moss in our neighborhood, and then I started envisioning a moss garden in my back yard. How hard is moss to harvest? How easily will it spread? Will it grow anywhere? What does it need for happiness? Will deer eat it? How about rabbits? And so I walked and walked, happily making plans and mental notes and a catalogue of all the sidewalk mosses I would harvest to make my moss garden when I got around to making my moss garden. Inspiration had struck.

I really thought things couldn't get any better, but then they did. I eventually turned off the sidewalk onto the paved streets of the development which adjoins ours (or, as my kids call it, the rich people houses). The houses are grand but there are no sidewalks, no concrete past the curbs, and so not much moss. But the streets are wide and clean and quiet and the landscaping is inspiring, so it’s one of my favorite routes. I was walking along, in a wonderful mental place already, when I saw this slice of tree bark on the ground. I admired it for a second but kept walking, but then quickly turned around and picked it up. I could use it in my moss garden! Or a terrarium! When do I ever see pieces of bark lying on the side of the road like that? It was just too good of a find to be left behind. And so went the rest of my walk. I walked, clearly very attuned to all the treasures on the ground, and picked up an evergreen branch in one spot, a leaf in another. By the time I turned for home I could barely contain all my findings in one hand. In fact, when I stopped to take pictures of my mosses on the way home, I kept dropping little bits of treasure and scrambling to pick them up. I didn’t want to hold them too tight and break them, since they are all a bit fragile, but it’s also hard to take pictures one-handed.

And that is how I am sitting at my desk next to a bowl filled with inspiration. When I started making plans this week and I set the goal of 30 minutes of studio time per day, I did not count on the fact that I have nothing to draw. I mean, I could draw hundreds of things, but I feel no NEED to draw any of them. There is no spark on inspiration. Quite honestly, I didn’t spend a half hour each day. I can blame lack of time, but the lack of pull is part of the issue. I really AM very busy, and I seriously have very little free time at all. It’s hard to justify even a half hour on something I don’t really feel like doing. But now, I suddenly have so many things to draw, and an amazing color of green to replicate, and I can’t wait to get started.

But here is the real inspiration that will carry me much further than my bowl of treasures. Today’s walk reminded me that beauty, creativity, imagination, and inspiration is the fuel for beauty, creativity, imagination and inspiration. Sometimes, I just have to start. I have to do something, even if it’s seemingly uninspired. Do the work. I did not feel like going on a walk today, but I did it anyway, and I am so glad I did. Sometimes, I just need to go through the motions, put one foot in front of the other, and be open to what lies in my path.

#going for a walk #neighborhood walk #moss #sidewalk #inspiration #start now #start somewhere #one foot in front of the other

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